#vnc really makes me think

[visjules]

1880s: Dominique is very Masculine, and very Eccentric

In today's standards, Dominique is a fairly feminine woman. Yes she's wearing a prince inspired outfit, but it's feminized with the tight pants, long stockings, heels, and long hair, but what if I told you that was all considered masculine in the olden days?

The Time Period

Givn the story takes place when the alternate Eiffel Tower (can't remember the name) was being built, we can assume vnc takes place in the late 19th century, otherwise known as the Victorian era, ranging from 1820 to 1914.

The fashion looked somewhat like this, you can see some similarities to the outfits worn by the main cast.

Dominique's outfit doesn't really resemble much of the fashion at the time, you can make som mild comparisons to Victorian royal menswear, but I'd say her fashion is more similar to 17th century royal menswear, specifically,

King Louis XIV

The long hair, the tight white bottoms, the heels, the loose sleeves, the train of fabric behind him, It is said that King Louis was a big womanizer, who does this all sound like? It's almost as if Dominique is trying to be Louis- oh wait.

Also fun fact, King Louis XIV was born in Saint-Germain-en-Laye.

Masculinity & Eccentricity

For us in the present, King Louis XIV looks pretty feminine, and that was probably a shared sentiment in the 19th century, he looked outdated, but that same outfit on a woman like Dominique would cause some controversy if not for her status.

In the 19th and early 20th century, a woman wearing pants was not too accepted, women usually wore dresses, and pants were kept as a sports/work attire. A woman would not just go on about her day wearing a pair of pants, she'd be seen as strange, and maybe even get into trouble. Dominique wearing pants, and very tight pants reminicscent of older eras, is definetly a bold choice.

Her hair is long and straight, which is not how you'd usually describe a victorian woman's hair. It wasn't even that much of a gender thing, but more of a formality thing. Women at the time would have their long hair in an updo. Actually, according to Whizzpast, long loose hair was a thing only models and actresses wore to depict romantisiscm and intimacy.

Dominique's long hair makes a lot of since, she has a bold, eccentric personality, she's not one to conform, she's the current family outcast, but she is also a very romantic person, and is constantly seen in romantic/intimate scenes, so her loose hair really depicts that.

All in all, Dominique's appearance states a bold, romantic blast to the past with a pinch of her desceased brother.

If you want to look into queer subtext, you can assume that''s one of the reasons Noe drinks her blood.

[dapperrokyuu]

On the topic of Mochijun, Im sorry to say, but the pace of Vanitas no Carte is just so killed for me right now, I cant really feel anything about it for more than a moment, catch me when chapters are normal length or something spectacular happens and its impact can be properly conveyed through 16 pages- 😔✌️

[crehador]

parting thoughts on ragna crimson (first cour)

i think it was... the first episode? that i didn't really vibe with. felt like a decent enough fantasy, but unremarkable in just about every way

THEN A WEIRD GUY APPEAR

iirc it wasn't until the second week that we really met crimson, which is kind of a shame because imo the show doesn't really start to come together until then. i like ragna well enough, but it's really the combination of the two of them that compels me

always love a duo where they have the same goal, but drastically different personalities/values/modes of operation/etc

always extra love a duo that's like "team up with me, a dragon, to kill all dragons then once we've achieved our goal you'll kill me too"

(like vanoe but with dragons. i think. my memories of vnc are actually very hazy)

and always extra extra love when ayu gets to just do his thing, playing guys who are girls who are guys who are etc etc etc

it's certainly not the best of the season, and still overall fairly unremarkable imo, but also not really bad in any way. if there's one thing i find lackluster i guess it's that i feel like they don't lean enough into this... pseudo-past life thing that ragna has going on (with the powers and presumably memories of his 'older self' passed down to him)

like ragna is still more or less his 'normal' self in terms of personality, which is fine, he's got a fun enough personality, but if he had some like... old man tendencies mixed in there, or if we saw more of his memories with crimson maybe? i don't know, just feels like something more could have been done with that fusion of past and present (or rather future and present)

looking forward to the second cour but at the same time... hoping this series won't be too long lol

[neversetyoufree]

Since writing my last post about how Vanitas understands "salvation" as the preservation of one's self, even at the price of death, I've been thinking about how that plays into Vanitas's thoughts on resurrection. It's only two short lines, but I find the view he expresses in this scene absolutely fascinating.

Vanitas tells Misha that the dead "don't come back," and the fact that he phrases it that way stands out to me. He doesn't say that resurrection is impossible on a physical level; he implicitly concedes that maybe Misha could "bring back" something that looks and acts like Luna. He doesn't quibble about the practicalities of reanimating someone whose body turned to ashes or bring up whatever concept of the afterlife he may have.

Instead, Vanitas says that a resurrected Luna would simply be "something else that looked like her." A resurrected Luna would lack some fundamental part of whatever it was that made Luna who they were in their first life.

But what would they lack? I don't think he's implying that a resurrected Luna would lack their soul—not really. Setting aside the absence of souls as a conceptual presence in VnC, I think that would be too concrete and specific for what Vanitas is gesturing toward. Rather, he's conceiving of the Self in a somewhat ineffable way. On a metaphysical level, a version of Luna brought back from the dead simply Wouldn't Be Her, and he can't put it in more concrete terms than that.

So why does he think this way?

I think the concept of resurrection is awful enough to Vanitas that he has to reject it outright for his own stability. He cannot even slightly entertain the notion that resurrection might be possible, because that would destroy one of his main coping mechanisms.

Resurrection is nightmarish to a man that relies on death as an escape. Vanitas is suicidal, but beyond his self-hatred, his relationship to death is very particular. He's someone whose body and being has been corrupted and violated several times—through violence, through experiments, and through Luna's bite, and he's desperate to retain control of himself in the aftermath. He's desperate for control in regards to everything in his life, but especially his body and his death.

Vanitas is being slowly transformed into something inhuman, and he plans to die someday to escape that fate. The idea that after he's gone, someone could override that decision and force him back into living a life he doesn't want must be unacceptably horrific to him. He dismisses it out of hand because he has to.

Vanitas says a resurrected Luna would, on some level, not really be Luna. Whatever comes back might look like them, but it would lack some fundamental self that makes Luna "Luna." Thus, if Vanitas himself were ever "resurrected" after his death, it would be the same. Death remains an absolute escape for him, and even if someone contrives to bring back something that looks like him after he's gone, it won't be him. That life won't be his problem.

In addition to whatever beliefs Vanitas might have about death and afterlives the feasibility of resurrection, I think this is a key part of his relationship to the concept. He lives his life knowing that death waits for him as an escape valve. He needs that looming death as his salvation. Thus, faced with the concept of resurrection, his argument basically boils down to "nuh-uh." He shoots down the concept and declares that a resurrected person wouldn't be themselves in some nonspecific way, because the possibility of anything otherwise isn't something safe for him to consider.

[phmonth]

Pandora Hearts Month 2024 Prompts!

Wonderful art made by for Phmonth23 by @yanderefairyangel!

What is Pandora Hearts Month? Pandora Hearts Month is an event that celebrates, well...Pandora Hearts, the manga created by Jun Mochizuki! Each day is a new prompt. The first three weeks celebrate the three main trios, and the fourth is a bonus week that celebrates any ships/friendships/ot3s fans chose and love--or simply any characters not covered by the other weeks! You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms...whatever you can think of, really! This year we have a fifth week celebrating her current work: Vanitas no Carte! (If and when you make creations for VnC tag your spoilers!!)

Pandora Hearts Month 2024 Prompts:

Golden Trio Week (Alice, Oz and Gilbert), October 20th-26th:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 20th: Yellow or Bones

Day 2, Monday Oct 21st: Rose

Day 3, Tuesday Oct 22nd: AU

Day 4, Wednesday Oct 23rd: Abandoned

Day 5, Thursday Oct 24th: Moon

Day 6, Friday Oct 25th: Winter

Day 7, Saturday Oct 26th: Ravens and Writing Desks

Rainsworth Trio Week (Sharon, Break and Reim), Oct 27th—November 2nd:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 27th: The Shadows Are Watching

Day 2, Monday Oct 28th: Sweet

Day 3, Tuesday Oct 29th: Sorrow

Day 4, Wednesday Oct 30th: Blood

Day 5, Thursday Oct 31st: Reaper

Day 6, Friday Nov 1st: Spring

Day 7, Saturday Nov 2nd: Stars

Tragedy Trio Week (Lacie, Jack and Oswald), Nov 3rd—Nov 9th:

Day 1, Sunday Nov 3rd: Steampunk

Day 2, Monday Nov 4th: A Reward You Will Regret

Day 3, Tuesday Nov 5th: Hair

Day 4, Wednesday Nov 6th: Rest

Day 5, Thursday Nov 7th: Reverence

Day 6, Friday Nov 8th: Black

Day 7, Saturday Nov 9th: Weaving Fate

Fan’s choice Week, Nov 10th—November 16th:

Day 1, Sunday Nov 10th: Purple

Day 2, Monday Nov 11th: Autumn

Day 3, Tuesday Nov 12th: Vampire

Day 4, Wednesday Nov 13th: What's the Catch?

Day 5, Thursday Nov 14th: In the City of Dust

Day 6, Friday Nov 15th: Mystery

Day 7, Saturday Nov 16th: Sweet Nightmares

Vanitas no Carte Week, Nov 17th—Nov 23rd (Please tag your spoilers!!):

Day 1, Sunday Nov 17th: Holiday or Nails or AU

Day 2, Monday Nov 18th: Comet

Day 3, Tuesday Nov 19th: The Cosmos in Your Hands

Day 4, Wednesday Nov 20th: Loyalty

Day 5, Thursday Nov 21st: The Language of Flowers

Day 6, Friday Nov 22nd: Ghost

Day 7, Saturday Nov 23rd: Moonflower

(If you want to use other prompts to make a Halloweeny piece, feel free! You don't have to save that for Halloween day!)

When you post, please remember to:

Tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero, @phmonth, and/or @this-idiots-left-eye in your posts to make sure I reblog them! (My main blog is your best bet).

Tag #phmonth24 in your tags! I will go through that tag and check if I've missed any direct tags. (If you don't see your piece reblogged on this blog after doing both these methods, please dm me!)

As I've said, please tag your VnC spoilers!! Not everyone is caught up!!

Either put a link, or a “read more” on long fics (or long posts in general), so they're easier to reblog!

NSFW content is allowed, but please make sure it’s clear it’s NSFW/tagged that way, and is beneath a read more so anyone who doesn’t want to see it doesn’t have to!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

You are free to have fun with this!! As I said, as long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! Tagging ships is nice too. You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!

As long as you make sure the characters from the trio are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want! You don't have to post on the exact day if you can’t make it! I’ll reblog things late!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to send an ask here, or post in the #questions channel of the discord!

Feel free to get started on making stuff early! (But please wait to post until the month has started!) I'm so excited to see what you make! Thank you for all your support!

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

[moon-mine679]

INTRO POST!! (finally) YIPPEEE

Basic stuff is here, and underneath the cut is more things

Name: Luna

Age: Will not disclose, but I am a minor

Pronouns: She/they

Sexuality: Pansexual and single!!

DNI: Um. Gross people. Thats really it LMFAO..

ASKS ARE OPEN!!

Btw: im a jirai kei girl. there WILL be triggering stuff here (sh, ed, uncomfortable topics), but I will also post about other things, such as my interests!

I CANT TALK TO PEOPLE!!! PLEASE IM SO SORRY I LOVE SO MANY OF YOU BUT I CANT TALK FOR THE LIFE OF ME WITHOUT SOUNDING AWKWARD ╥﹏╥ but thats why im putting my interests!! idc if you send asks, multiple in a row, or anything like that. but please know that i do send multiple texts in a row if you are going to message me

Interests:

Project sekai

Lego Monkie Kid

Pokemon

Needy streamer overload

Hookah haze

Love angel syndrome

Oshi no ko (i do not like the incest things.) (i feel like i have to clarify cause weirdos think thats all that its about)

Genshin Impact

Honkai impact 3rd

Fire Emblem (Three houses specifically)

Nier Automata (have to play replicant)

killer in love

i wanted to be hurt by love

pop team epic

alien stage

panty and stocking

case study of vanitas

murder drones

final fantasy (4 + 6 specifically)

the amazing digital circus

madoka magica

project edens garden

tomorrow ill be someones girlfriend

Persona

I'll update this list later...

Kins!!

Mizuki Akiyama (shes just me but im not trans)

All of nightcord but specifically mizuki

Furina (GI)

Ame (NSO)

Amu (HH)

Dominique de Sade (VNC)

Vanitas (VNC)

Yua Takahashi (TIBSGF) (correct me if this isnt the abbreviation..)

Macaque (LMK)

Ryunosuke Akutagawa (BSD)

List will also be updated in the future as more kins come!! (or if i remember them..)

more about me in general!!

I'm very not proper. Like that sentence? that'll probably be the last you see of it LMAOO

i use emoticons and emojis a lot, and text multiple times in a row (i hate sending big paragraphs of text unless im angry and want to prove a point- WHATEVER YOU GET IT)

im a big people pleaser and want everyone to like me. i get anxious very easily when people here talk about others cause I ALWAYS THINK ITS ME (someone pls get this habit out of my head) and i always try to help people when i can. For example: post about feeling down and ill probably spam like you, or send a message in your asks that ily and wishing you the best!

i love it when people associate characters with me!! please pleapslepalesplepalpeapleaaase associate me with characters!

Speaking of characters, when I get obsessed with them, I either love them, or become them, or both! Like for example, with Scaramouche, I kin and he's one of my pookies!! With Mizuki, I kin her so much I wanna become her and dress like her! (does that make sense..?)

I'm always down to talk about my obsessions!! shoot an ask or something, and im so down to talk <3333

idm anons!! just please disclose if youve been here before or not, or claim an emoji!! that would be fun :3

i stay up late a lot, and take naps during the day. literally like 2 hours after school im napping, so if i dont respond to anything then, IM SORRYYY </33

thats it for now!! tysm for reading until the end <333

[falling-star-cygnus]

link click hc that Lu Guang instinctively cuddles things in his sleep [like Noe from VNC but without the super-strength] and Cheng Xiaoshi loves it. like- he was full on ecstatic when he found out

aka- the 3 times Cheng Xiaoshi gets Lu Guang to subconsciously cuddle something + the 1 time Lu Guang sought it out on his own

1: The first time it happens, they've only been official friends for a handful of months.

Sure- some could argue they were official friends from the moment Lu Guang helped Cheng Xiaoshi paint an entire building without any pay... or compensation.. or really anything more than a soda. Or they could've been official friends since that moment on the basketball court. But Cheng Xiaoshi would argue right back that it didn't count.

He's heard the things Qiao Ling says about him, he hears all the things people say about him, actually, because most of the time he's in the room when the people are saying them.

And maybe she's right when she says he gives his trust and time away too easily, to people who won't give it back, and maybe her folks and their friends were right when they called him an ungrateful kid all those years ago.

But he knows. He knows how a friendship works, and he knows he has it with Lu Guang when the sight of pale white hair soothes this itch under his skin. And he knows when someone is holding him at arms length.

Cheng Xiaoshi glances at his dozing friend, who's curled up on the couch with his nose tucked into the dusty cushions, and huffs a quiet, tight sigh.

He doesn't know what he did, aside from accidentally nailing him with a basketball, to make the other boy distrust him so much. There was an undeniable distance between them, one that felt like it shouldn't exist at all.

Maybe it was just because their friendship was still tentatively new, practically a baby compared to his relationship with the landlady. Maybe Cheng Xiaoshi was asking for too much too soon but...

When the light brushes it's warm fingers over Lu Guang's fair features.. when the pale haired boy thinks no one is watching... he looks far older than his years. Tired in a way that goes beyond insomnia, tired in a way that Cheng Xiaoshi knows with his full chest.

Lu Guang, in those quiet glimpses of time, looked like he was mourning.

Cheng Xiaoshi reaches out, leans over the back of the couch and reaches his hand down to brush pale white hair off a clammy forehead.

"I know I said I'd wait... but I wish you'd trust me more," he breathes into the air between them, quiet like a secret as he gently traces his finger down the crease that seemed like a permanent fixture between grey brows.

More than anything, Cheng Xiaoshi wished that whatever was haunting Lu Guang would at least grant him peace when he slept- grant him a single moment of reprieve.

He's about to pull away when his friend makes a small, sleepy sound.

Lean, slender fingers come up to weakly grasp Cheng Xiaoshi's wrist. It's a meager grip, one that the dark haired boy could easily pull away from, but the mournful sound Lu Guang makes when he tries actually makes something hurt in his chest.

He lets Lu Guang tip his head into his palm, internally freaking out as the pale haired boy tucks his entire body around Cheng Xiaoshi's arm. The crease between his brows smoothes out, his breaths get deeper, and he actually looks his age for the first time since the dark haired boy hair met him.

"Phone- phone, phone, phone," Cheng Xiaoshi whisper screams, digging in to his pockets with a near manic intensity as he tries to keep his other arm still, "Oh my god-"

How is this the same boy that held Cheng Xiaoshi like he was a live bomb? Held him like a live bomb in the hands of someone willing to die, sure, but like he was expecting the dark haired boy to stab him in the chest and leave his body cooling by itself.

....maybe Cheng Xiaoshi wasn't as distrusted as he thought.

To the surprise of no one, Lu Guang is just as pretty on camera as he is in real life.

CXS: OH LANDLADY~ CXS: *one picture*

QL: !! QL: lol he's like a cat! QL: 💗😺💗

Cheng Xiaoshi's arm goes numb, but it's completely worth it for his new wallpaper. Call it payback for that photo of him in a cosplay skirt.

2: The second time it happens, Qiao Ling only gains ammo for her cat allegations.

Lu... had not been in a particularly touchy mood that day. He kept looking at his hands when he thought Cheng Xiaoshi's attention was elsewhere, and when the dark haired boy tried to grab one to lead him out of his head he...

flinched.

Not his usual startle, that got less frequent as he acclimated to living with Cheng Xiaoshi's loud mouth, but a full body flinch. He had pulled away and left the room.

Lu Guang almost never left the room, even if he got fed up dodging the dark haired boy's attempts at glomping onto him. He would usually just- stand there.. or their attention would get called to something else- he never outright fled.

Unless...

"GUANGGUANG HATES MEEEHEEHE," he wails into Qiao Ling's lap.

"E-eh? Xiaoshi!?"

To his sister's credit, she doesn't whack him off right away. She's more than a little confused, maybe a little worried about his sanity, but her hand gently pats at his head- wary of the bandage still present.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you.." Qiao Ling tries, looking around for any sign of said issue, "Lu Guang could never hate you-"

"Then he's definitely mad at me! He hasn't let me get close all day and- aCk!"

They really needed to dust their floors...

Cheng Xiaoshi sneezes as his nose makes friends with the hardwood.

"What was that fo-"

"Of course he's mad at you, you idiot!"

"H-HUH!?"

As if no longer caring for his brutal head injury, his sister flicks him right in the middle of his forehead. While he goes back to wailing in pain- physical this time, as he rolls on the floor- Qiao Ling tears him a new one:

"I told you to stay in the studio! You-"

The thump of unsteady feet cuts into her sentence, and suddenly Lu Guang is peeking his head around the corner- familiar wax paper bags held in his hand.

"Cheng Xiaoshi?"

The dark haired boy stops wailing, but he doesn't let go of his head as he turns in a weird sguiggle to see his friend. He barely blinks before slender fingers- and bruised knuckles, how did he miss that?- are prodding carefully around the lump still vaguely present above his ponytail.

"What's wrong? You were..." Lu trails off, pulls his shaking hands away and clears his throat, "..sorry. I- I thought.."

Cheng Xiaoshi catches the wrist attached to those bruised knuckles and doesn't let go when his fair friend tries to pull away and hide it again.

It's not fair, he thinks, that Lu Guang is allowed to care for him but he can't offer the same courtesy. Not fair at all.

The siblings haul the pale haired boy up to his feet and sit him on the couch, staunchly ignoring his sputtered protests as they set about their separate tasks. Qiao Ling distributes the milk tea [except he can't ever recall telling Lu Guang his order], and hands Cheng Xiaoshi the first-aid kit, and the dark haired boy makes sure Lu Guang doesn't run away again while he treats his hand.

If that involves hooking his ankle over Lu Guang's knee, then- he didn't get his usual amount of physical contact today, so Lu could deal.

"Haven't you ever thrown a punch before!? How did you bruise yourself this badly?" he scolds, taking immense pleasure in the cowed look his friend sports, "Guangguang-"

"You were in the hospital-"

"That's no excuse-!"

Whatever Lu Guang was going to say gets cut off when Qiao Ling shoves the straw of his milk tea into his mouth- partly to distract him from the sting of antiseptic, partly to stop whatever self sacrificial bull that was inevitably going to fall out.

Because it wasn't enough for Lu to be pretty, no no noooo, he had to be nice too. And get Cheng Xiaoshi things like milk tea, and like anime, and cats.

Cheng Xiaoshi channels all his focus onto gently applying the blue and white cat plaster, because he could buy nice things for Lu Guang too, over the worst of the bruising. Honestly, it's not going to do much for a bruise but hopefully it'll make his friend a bit happier.

Something, something, placebo effect- Qiao Ling was talking about it once.

Cheng Xiaoshi can still tell Lu wants to bolt.

So he sidles up next to him, practically traps him against the arm really, and heckles his sister into a round of online PVP. He even lets Lu Guang pick his character, though he's used to a completely different playstyle and loses each round. Which is the excuse he uses when Qiao Ling beats his ass ten ways from Sunday. Again.

In the warmth of the sun behind him, with Cheng Xiaoshi's thigh pressed to his, the pale haired boy succumbs to an inevitable cat nap- open novel falling loosely from his slender fingers.

Cheng Xiaoshi catches it, barely, before it can thump against the ground- struggling between keeping up with the fight and not losing his friend's place- and...

Ah.

The semi-loud [he turned his volume down when he noticed Lu dozing off] theme of defeat plays from his phone, accompanied by large red letters spelling out K.O. He almost doesn't care though, when it was caused by soft white hair brushing his cheek and an even softer cheek on his shoulder.

Lu Guang's hand, that had previously been holding his oh-so-precious novel, had curled around Xiaoshi's lower arm while his other gripped onto the sleeve of his upper arm. Just like last time, it was feeble, but oh.

This was not good for his heart.

Distantly, he registers himself making a squeaky- prolonged sort of inhale, and his arm trembles with the effort of keeping completely still and it takes Qiao Ling forcefully shutting his jaw with her hand for him to chill.

"Oh my god-" Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, dropping his phone onto the couch cushions [he's careful not to drop the novel though], "It happened again!"

"It's happening again," she corrects, scrambling for her own phone, "Guangguang..."

If there was one thing the siblings could agree on, it was that Lu Guang was adorable and ethereal and it really wasn't fair how he could be both without even trying.

"...you'll send me those photos right?"

"Duh."

3: The third time it happens is completely on purpose.

Well- not on Lu Guang's end. But, regardless! An experiment demands results and Lu introduced too interesting of a hypothesis. Who knew his best friend was such a secret cuddlebug?

Well- he was a secret [was it a secret or did Xiaoshi just never ask...?] coser too, so maybe it was par for the course. Lu Guang and secrets.

Anyway-

Cheng Xiaoshi is standing dutifully just outside the living room, occasionally casting glances at Lu's dozing form. It was just around midday, which meant the sun was hitting the cushions in just the right way to keep the pale haired boy content and lazy. In Cheng Xiaoshi's blue and white sweater.

Yeah, he wasn't that oblivious. He knew he wasn't getting that shirt back any time soon. Or ever. Damn.

Qiao Ling sidles up next to him, her phone poised to begin the final phase of their cuddlebug theory.

See, they tested if Lu Guang would do it awake [he wouldn't. His self control was too strong] and they tested if he would reject physical affection when he was awake [he would, but only if Cheng Xiaoshi was being annoying] and now. Now it was time.

To be fair- Cheng Xiaoshi kind of owed Lu Guang for the last test too. Which had inadvertently led to his friend being in a... rather uncomfortable situation. It wasn't on purpose, obviously, normally the siblings were very good at keeping Lu away from touchy strangers.

Sometimes one would just- slip through the cracks.

Regardless, Lu Guang had earned his current doze and even more so had earned another cat gift. Not that he had to earn those, Xiaoshi was more than happy to keep buying them.

Speaking of- his sister sidles up next to him, phone at the ready.

"You got the goods?" she asks.

Cheng Xiaoshi pulls out the longish, white cat plush he had seen in the window on his way home- embellished with blue eyes and forget me nots on the flank- and nods.

The final cuddlebug test... was it just human contact Lu Guang sought out when asleep? Or... would he cuddle anything? These were pressing concerns!

Also Lu Guang could never find out about his album of sleepy pictures. Ever. Or he'd undoubtedly make the siblings delete them. Xiaoshi wasn't doing anything with the pictures, nothing nefarious at least, but for some reason the pale haired boy always seemed uncomfortable having his picture online.

It was hard to notice, if you didn't know him, but Cheng Xiaoshi liked to think he was an expert in Lu language by now. And he noticed things. Like how Guangguang would only let his picture be taken by Qiao Ling or yours truly.

So maybe he wouldn't make Cheng Xiaoshi delete the album. But hey, Xiaoshi should be allowed to keep embarrassing photos too! Equivalent exchange or whatever it was that blond pipsqueak said! He didn't really get a good look at what Lu was reading.

He creeps forward, trying to keep his footsteps light. His socked feet helped, as well as the years he spent playing basketball, but sometimes-

creeeak.

The floorboards would do that.

Lu Guang snuffles slightly, but Qiao Ling opens the curtains a bit wider and he settles down.

God, he was best friends with a cat.

Alright.

Finally, Cheng Xiaoshi finds himself in a position very similar to the one he was in when this all started. Behind the couch, and reaching down. There's just big enough of a gap between Lu and the cushion that Xiaoshi can set the kitty plush down without disturbing him too much.

The results are immediate.

The second the soft fur of the plush brushes his cheek, [which was arguably softer, Xiaoshi would say] Lu Guang was curling into it. It was too goddamn cute, god, why did he think this was a good idea. He was going to have a heart attack before he even hit 30.

The pale haired boy brought his arm around the cat plush, burying his nose somewhere between the ears, and brings his knees up. His breaths even out from a light doze to something truly peaceful.

This might've worked better than Cheng Xiaoshi's arm.. huh.

That kinda made his chest hurt a little, in a distinctly more painful way than an abundance of affection.

Xiaoshi goes to pull his hand away, which had still carefully been resting on the scruff of the cat, to let his sister get some unobstructed pictures [and snag a few of his own] when Lu makes another sound. A sad little sound.

A sound that makes Cheng Xiaoshi freeze.

Because slender fingers are holding onto his jacket sleeve again.

It's a grip closer to his hand than his wrist this time, not really much of a grip at all, but it still stops Cheng Xiaoshi cold.

Qiao Ling is having the time of her life taking pictures.

So... experiment inconclusive?

+ 1: There's something tacky under his nails.

It's caked over Cheng Xiaoshi's fingers and palms too, so deeply engrained in every groove and arch and whorl that it cracks when he curls his fists.

He can't get it off.

Water runs and runs and runs and runs until the basin is pink and overflowing and drenching his socks in the blood of someone he doesn't know.

Or- does he know them? Who is he? Who's hands is he washing?

The scene around him changes, breaks away like static as he finds himself back in the living room. Their couch- who's couch?- is splattered with bright red paint. Thread hangs from the ceiling, looped in nooses and strung across cork boards and holding photos. A blood moon paints everything like a darkroom, but the light doesn't feel safe at all.

Then the bodies appear.

Lu Guang on the couch, Liu Min strung from the ceiling, Emma on the floor by the blond's feet, Li Tianxi by the windows, and so many more. Faceless people and limbs sticking out from under the floorboards and furniture and there's so much blood.

It's no longer just caked to hands, it's on his face. It's in his mouth, on his clothes-

The photos develop with startling intensity, full of people he never knew personally but that he's been. It's all too much, too soon, too many pieces of information that click into a truly ugly overexposed piece, too many lives-

His foot hits something fleshy, something that warms his sock with thick, cloying intensity.

When he looks down, he sees his own face.

Cheng Xiaoshi wakes up with a scream on the tip of his tongue.

His blanket twists around his limbs, creating a damning sort of cocoon that makes him want to just to throw himself off the side of the bed and get to Lu Guang or a mirror and check if they're both still alive-

Unfortunately, he neglects to remember where he was sleeping. Thin arms wrap around Cheng Xiaoshi's middle before he can splat into the hardwood.

"This-" Lu Guang huffs behind him, fruitlessly trying to drag his friend back onto the mattress, "is why you sleep on the bottom bunk."

Right..

Cheng Xiaoshi scoots backwards until he doesn't feel his stomach swooping- his mind still reeling and his hands still tacky. He.. vaguely remembers now. Why he was in Lu Guang's bed.

Lu Guang-!

The startled yip his pale haired friend let out would be cute in another circumstance, but right now Xiaoshi only cares about finding a pulse. That dream had felt too real, too vivid, and- and Cheng Xiaoshi needs proof, okay? He just needs..

There's nothing but smooth skin when he jerks Lu's sleep shirt up.

"What are you-!?"

"It's gone..." he mutters, trailing his thumb over the spot where there should be a thin scar, but Cheng Xiaoshi finds nothing but tensed muscle. Or- muscle adjacent. "Why is it gone..?"

Lu Guang looks terrified when Xiaoshi meets his eyes, with an odd amber glow passing over his soft face.

It's only then that he realizes he's practically groping his best friend.

"ack- Sorry! Sorry," he sputters, pulling away just as abruptly as when he jumped him, "I was just- I was so sure..."

"It was just a dream, Cheng Xiaoshi."

Slender fingers grab onto both sides of his face, forcing him to meet weirdly determined kitten grey eyes. Lu Guang holds his gaze until he nods. And then he nods more emphatically.

Yeah- yeah. Seriously- why would Lu Guang have a knife scar? And he's never even met someone named Emma or Li Tianxi- he thinks he might've heard about Liu Min on the news before, briefly, maybe. But..

But it felt so real. And personal. Like- like maybe he had lived it before, lived as those people and watched- watched them die.. had seen himself die-

"-Xiaoshi." Lu Guang shakes him out of it and presses his forehead to his, miming deep breaths, "It was just a dream. Everyone is okay."

Just a dream.. just a dream. Right. His pale haired friend takes one hand off his face to press one of Cheng Xiaoshi's to his chest- over his clothes this time.

God, he can't believe he just manhandled- he'll worry about it in the morning. When he's not desperately focused on the slightly too fast thump-thump-thump under his fingers. Then he'll think about Lu Guang's very soft, very unscarred skin.

"Go to sleep, Cheng Xiaoshi."

....he reeeally hopes he didn't say any of that out loud.

If he did, it doesn't look like Lu Guang cared all too much. At least, it didn't look like he cared enough to pull away as he maneuvered the two into laying down again. And buried his nose into loose black hair.

Cheng Xiaoshi wheezes, astounded by his luck. This- Lu Guang never cuddled him! Not consciously! He- oh, he couldn't wait to-

"No one will believe you," his friend murmurs, sleepy and warm and devious, "Sleep, Xiaoshi. Or I'll make you go back to your own bed."

For a second, Cheng Xiaoshi believes his fair friend. But he feels the slight trembles of slender fingers on his shoulders- the jackrabbit heartbeat under his ear and the shallow breaths on his hair, and he thinks Lu needs this just as much as he does. Xiaoshi smiles.

"Liar."

[umi-minoris-art]

So this whole WWDITS queerbait got me triggered thinking about VNC and Jun Mochizuki's plans. For a while I was so sure we'd have nandermo canon and clearly I wasn't looking at the whole picture correctly, but now the show is ending it is pretty clear the producers were never really planning to treat the couple seriously, instead painting it as a big joke. And well, most of the show was about Nandor x Guilhermo dynamic.

Soo it got me thinking about the other gay vampire story, Vanitas no Carte. More than wwdits, vnc is truly about Vanitas and Noé dynamic and bound, each arc and specially after Misha's interference we've seen their bound and affection grow stronger. Not to mention Noe's seems to be developing feelings for Vanitas from the start (as Guilhermo though). I swear I have it in my heart that VNC is about their love story, or at the bare minimum I'm sure we'll get Noe confessing his feelings for Vanitas even if they won't get together. Or at least I WAS sure, because when I was so sure of wwdits it kept disappointing me.

It makes me think and be fearful that once again another story, one that I care a lot about, will treat a queer relationship as queerbait, using it only for jokes and fan service, never bringing it up to light. Will it once again end up with the homophobic explanation that "their love is just deeper and beyond"? I'm not satisfied with that anymore.

Sure VNC is way different from wwdits. And we already have Luna as a non binary character, also Dominique and her sister in kind of bisexual characters, but again it's in the details just like they did in wwdits.

I guess I'm just fearful I'll get disappointed at VNC conclusions and how they'll handle the feelings of the characters. At the end of the day it's always about Noe and Vanitas, will it just be another unpleasant conclusion of "open interpretation" of their love? Idk

I would just love to see someone having those considerations too about VNC, let me know if you think about it too

[existingtm]

I've been revisiting old VNC chapters for a variety of reasons, and I came back to these panels in Memoire 7:

This is when Domi accuses Vanitas of worshipping the Vampire of the Blue Moon.

Now, we've seen Vanitas use this kind of de-personing language when he needs to create emotional distance, such as when he calls Noé "that vampire."

We know a few things. We know Vanitas killed Luna. We know that in order to protect his memories, Vanitas will go into a trance that de-persons whoever he's fighting (Is this only applicable to vampires? I'm not sure). And we know he cared about Luna and Mikhail at one point (and likely still does despite his deeply repressive reaction).

What we don't know is if his de-personing mindset lasts after he breaks out of the full trance. Is this intense, de-personing reaction... 1. left over from an altered state of mind he needed to enter in order to kill someone he loved? 2. a regular trauma response? Or 3. an indicator of something more sinister about Luna?

These are the three possibilities I can think of.

I don't think Luna is secretly evil in the way Jack was, however, I suspect there's something rather sinister about them all the same.

The devil symbolism is a pretty well-known aspect of Luna's character at this point, but Luna's comment about trying to find out what they are is also intriguing to me. Whatever it is doesn't seem to be their fault, but it does seem to be bad all the same. Maybe it's really just their Malnomen form, but these little hints about them in their normal form make me think that there's more to it.

@lynnlyrae mentioned their theory about Luna being a homunculus here, and that's a possibility I find very intriguing. If Luna's not a homunculus, then they must at least have a narratively similar origin.

[k4txlulzz]

(warning: this is a random late night rant y'all , feel free to not take this seriously its just my scrambled thoughts lol)

vanitas no carte fandom is a lot more chaotic than i remembered it to be😭guys what happened i just came back to see how the story progressed (BTW MY FAVE SCENES GOT ANIMATED SO WELL !! the eng dub is so good too)

okay so! vanitas is my favorite character and i truly think he has a good, selfless heart. but yk what? that kiss scene with him and jeanne keeps popping up in my head. but then i remember that if i consider that moment SA i'd have to consider ALOT more romance scenes in the story as that too and i just don't think there can be that amount of **intentional** assault scenes from the creator ?😭

folks have brought up the cabin scene and??? that just confused me. because i never even thought of that possibility while looking at the panels or the scene. people hate vanitas or vanijeanne or even jeanne because of this kinda stuff and . while im conflicted and even uncomfortable(the kiss scene specifically) i also believe that the creator would not make a character SA anyone like that and make it seem romantic. i see this as: if its shown to be cute or romantic and does not show negative mental consequences of the characters after the event, it was not **intended** to be assault. (edit: while vanitas is shown to be malicious in this scene, the incident gets brought up like once after and doesn't really turn into an obstacle in vanitas' and jeanne's relationship which is what made me think this) basically, if it's shown to be harmless, it was most likely intended as that. and i understand the issue with that one weird kiss scene, i don't like it either. its just that vanitas happened to be my favorite before i learnt all this and that made me try and look for an explanation or some sort of evidence that maybe this is a "suspend your disbelief" moment but i dunno. i just desperately don't wanna think that a character and one of the dynamics that mean a lot to me have gross, scary implications . the creator wouldn't write jeanne or vanitas to do something so horrible because those are some of the characters she wants fans to be invested in and that can't be done if those characters are assaulters😭 the kiss scene still does ick me though and i think the moment should have been done differently? in any case, i generally think that media literacy is something every fan needs to have. because otherwise we back ourselves into a corner and "criticize problematic stuff" ourselves into viewing every character as a terrible person who should not be liked

but then again, this IS just my opinion and, to be clear, i don't support assault being brushed off in any media

[edit 2: i also acknowledge that i may be leaning towards copium with this one but that doesn't mean i don't recognize the creator's attempt to create a complex dynamic and characters; i just feel like because of this one scene a lot of people hate vanitas and brush off his dynamic with jeanne entirely which is sad because they have a lot of stuff thats worth getting interested in. i just wanted to make it clear that this post is just me ranting about something and not meant to be taken as a proper analysis ^^��🏼 it has also been a while since i looked at VNC stuff and may have gotten a bit rusty. i acknowledge that SA may perhaps be a significant part of the storytelling in VNC but i don't really want to think about those moments for personal reasons and especially when it is shown to be done by a character that really does mean a lot to me:) i enjoyed reading the comments i got on this post and am genuinely quite grateful for them]

[menelaus-blue]

i had a very important realization while i was out walking today. out of the main four vnc characters, noé is the one we know the least about. he fits into a category of what i would call the glass protagonist–a guy who basically exists only to narrate the story, joining the ranks of those like nick carraway and richard papen, except he's just like way more mysterious.

see, part of what makes a narrator like nick work narratively is that we know just enough about him to 1) understand his perspective on the events of the story and 2) know what his role in the story is. nick is able to give his insider/outsider view of gatsby because he is neither part of the buchanans' world nor part of gatsby's, and his role in the story is to serve as a kind of mediator between the two of them. he's daisy's cousin in long island, but he's also a working man in city, etc, etc.

the funky thing about noé is we just...don't know anything about him. we're told a couple of things about his childhood; that he was adopted by an old couple in the human world, that they died and he was somehow on sale in altus, and that the comte took him in. but really, the time before and after louis's death is uncannily empty for the guy who we're following through this world. yes, of course it's fair to say that we know the most important things about noé, but we honestly know way more of vanitas's childhood than his, and that's a big part of the central mystery of the story.

(there's an element to this, of course, that comes from both of the examples i gave before, the great gatsby and the secret history, being novels. as readers, we get an extra level of introspection from nick and richard that is very difficult to translate directly into manga as a medium. however, i would argue that it's not impossible, and all that being said it does sometimes feel intentional on mochijun's part just how little of noé's background she's shown us.)

both nick and richard narrate their respective stories onto the reader from their position as outsiders, which we know is noé's role in vnc from the get-go. i mean, he says this explicitly in chapter one: "this is the tale of how i met vanitas, and how we walked together, of all we gained and lost, and of how, at the end of that journey, i would kill him with my own two hands". he's the narrator and this is his story, just like nick and richard, right?

but while nick and richard are the narrators, and give us, the readers, an excuse to look into their worlds, they are not exactly essential players on the board. both the great gatsby and the secret history give the impression that, without their narrators, they would have continued nearly exactly as written; the characters were doomed to fail long before the story began, and the intervention of some white guy isn't enough to either stop that. and yes, vanitas is doomed as well, but we are introduced to his death as an event that is intrinsically tied to noé himself.

"with my own two hands", noé says. he is not only an actor in the saga leading up to vanitas's demise, he is a starring player in it. (and yes, we ofc later learn that vanitas is going to die with or without noé's intervention but i think it's important to understand that this is our introduction to noé, vanitas, and the story itself) in this way, noé differentiates himself from his glass counterparts, in that he inserts himself irrevocably into the plot. he is both a character in the story and an observer, a chess piece and the one playing the game. this is why the gaps in his backstory feel so jarring, at least to me, because we are not meant to view him as solely a window into the world of vnc, but as a character all on his own.

anyways, all that being said, i'm hoping with the introduction of lady archiviste we're finally going to learn more about noé and his time with the comte, just because it's like a HUGE gap in the story.

[grassbreads]

I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga

This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.

So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.

However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.

The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.

This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.

Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:

D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:

The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.

Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.

Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.

Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:

TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.

And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.

Then came the Alma Karma arc.

This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.

To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.

Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.

Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.

Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.

The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.

Have you figured out the twist yet?

9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.

After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.

So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.

Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.

If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.

On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.

You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.

Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.

Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:

Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.

At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.

However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.

Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.

You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.

So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.

Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):

[neversetyoufree]

I started vnc way back when there was only one volume, stopped, and only restarted it last week 🙈 since then, I have reread it twice and will again, once I'm done with exams, as it has turned me insane. And since no one I know reads it, I just wanted to ask what your thoughts are on my theory that the reason not 'didn't reach out to vanitas' thus leading to his death is because of Ruthven compulsion on him? Cuzco after the 'ill never set you free'thing, I just can't see noel not reaching out tonight purpose. Your blog is a joy to read through, and I love your meta!

Hello!! Thank you so much! It's always great to see another person having fun with my favorite manga :D.

My thoughts on Vanitas's eventual death are. complicated. If we keep going down the path we're on now, I honestly suspect Vanitas's death is going to be more assisted suicide than murder. IE, Vanitas asks for Noé to kill him because it's preferable to the alternative.

Per Ruthven's compulsion, I definitely think it's going to come up, and I do like the idea of Ruthven trying to force Noé to hurt or kill Vanitas, but I don't think it's going to be how Vanitas dies. In a way, I think that would feel somewhat cheap.

Noé killing Vanitas because of his oath to Ruthven would make sense on a plot level. It's a nice, logical explanation for why Noé would kill someone he so clearly adores. I can see why it's a lot of people's theory! However, that explanation wouldn't really deliver on an emotional level. It's just not interesting for Noé's characterization.

For one thing, making Noé kill Vanitas when he's not in control of himself would strip away all of Noé's agency. With VnC's opening chapter, Mochijun sets us up so that the entire time we're reading, we're asking ourselves "but why will Noé kill him?" It's a big source of intrigue and suspense. And to me, finally resolving that suspense with "It's not his fault! He was artificially forced to!" feels like a major letdown. It adds nothing to Noé's character. It's answering that all-important "why" with "There is no reason why. He didn't actually want to." I think that would be a cop-out.

Through that denial of agency, I think this ending would also risk losing out on a lot of potential character development for Noé. The core of Noé and Louis's tragedy is that Noé desperately wanted to save Louis, but the only kind of salvation Louis wanted from him was death, and Noé couldn't give him that.

Now Noé has another person close to him that is also seeking salvation through death. If Noé kills Vanitas, but he's not in control of himself when he does, that misses out on a big opportunity. Has Noé come to understand salvation through death? Has his worldview changed since Louis made that request of him? Does he have it in him to kill a loved one if that's what they ask? If Vanitas's death is forced by Ruthven, then we're much less likely to get answers to those questions.

Personally, my favorite hope/theory for how Ruthven's order will play out is the idea that Ruthven will order Noé to hurt/stop/kill Vanitas, but Vanitas will manage to snap Noé out of it in the same way Noé broke Vanitas's self-hypnosis in the amusement park. There's nothing I love more than a gay little parallel.

I can see a scenario where Ruthven's oath is what pushes Vanitas close to death? Maybe Noé will be ordered to try to kill Vanitas, and that will set off whatever horrible chain of events pushes Vanitas to ask for death that final time. But even if Ruthven does order Noé to hurt Vanitas (which is a big if), I don't think it will be what causes the killing blow.

[ishytori]

I see your post about chessere in partical orlando furioso, my personal heandcanon we are going have Angelica. She would be Astolfo's sister who has become N°70 and first artificial vampire in series. So in VNC Ronald would try to defend Angelica from Church because she is unwanted witness on Church's horror. So team protect Angelica vs tv kill her

Oh, I remember this theory! I think I've seen it on AO3. It sounds interesting yet there are few moments because of which it's a bit complicated for me.

First of all I really think returning Astolfo's sister is the easiest way to close his story. He hates vampires because they killed his sister => "Here is your sister, she's alive, no more hate" - no, sorry, I don't like it. For me it's ok for his sister to be his motivation but not ok to be solution of a problem. It should be something different. Either way there will be no character development.

Second, I love Moreau, Vanitas and Misha story and Astolfo story as different parts of plot. They are connected by the same place (catacombs) and personality (Roland) yet they do not mix. I think it's more realistic and I love realism (yes, in steampunk manga with magic and vampires XD ).

Third, I just think it's too cruel. I think Astolfo suffered enough. I think after all he gone through he really has a right to hate vampires and I don't think it's ok to make him change his attitude by force. Especially by: "Oh, you hate vampires? Here is your beloved sister, she's alive and now she is a vampire. Deal with it".

So I hope Astolfo's sister will remain dead in manga. Yet I still think it's a good theory for fanfiction!

[kaurwreck]

hi i love reading your posts about bsd!!! they're very insightful + very clearly written by someone who's spent a while familiarizing themself with what they're talking about, and they're often refreshingly unique. particularly always taken aback (surprised? in a good way) by the trust you have in bsd in a work. even when i disagree with them, your analyses and theories are always (1) interesting (2) evidently written by someone approaching bsd and their conversations in good faith, both of which matter a lot to me.

might be completely off-base, but do you think having a background in law might impact writing bluntly/authoritatively, especially if your writing is perceived differently out of fandom spaces? i don't have enough experience to be confident, but that tone next to the emphasis on clarity in your writing feels like it fits, even if only in a chicken-and-egg way.

I stand by my problematic wife!!!!!!

I really, really do have so much faith in and love for bsd, and I trust Kafka Asagiri implicitly. This is, in part, because months and months ago, as I felt myself becoming consumed by the source material, I recognized I needed to temper myself and my expectations of the work.

My intensity and obsessiveness are as familiar to me as the beleaguered tendons in my wrists. I know twinging aches precede sharp, heated pain, so I know when to wrap the inflammation before it flares any further. Similarly, I know that if I don't ground myself before hours of hyperfixated research become tens of hours, I risk becoming disillusioned, and I risk pouring myself completely into something that won't replenish that time, energy, and emotional investment. So, I wrap my wrist when I can feel the inklings of tendinitis, and I reorient around authorial intent when the hyperfixation begins to spore.

So, I sought out interviews with Kafka Asagiri, expecting that he'd spoken to the limitations of his authorial framework.

(This sounds silly, but it works for me; for example, I adore Vanitas no Carte, but I only engage with the material referenced in VnC (ex: Song of Roland) shallowly except insofar as I have an independent interest. This is because when I similarly felt I might become obsessed, I sought out interviews, during which Jun Mochizuki stated clearly that the references she makes don't penetrate the substance of her characters or the story. So, I'll skim them, but most of the energy I pour into VnC (of which there's a lot), I pour into VnC itself rather than it's reference materials. This is because I'm rewarded by insights into the narrative I hadn't noticed before; different facets of interpretation I hadn't previously considered; greater understanding of the characters; etc. It's reciprocal; otherwise, it drains me dry because I cannot emphasize enough, I do not approach research like any human person should.)

Anyway, so, I searched for and identified statements Kafka Asagiri made about the referenced material. And, I was pleasantly surprised that he is passionate about the underlying literature and, from the outset, wrote the story hoping his audience would gain an interest in the literary works from which he took inspiration. And that sufficed, that constituted assurance that while I couldn't expect that he would intend all of the connections my obsessive, insatiable, pattern hungry brain would make, there was depth I could explore while still engaging with bsd.

What's wild is that I was expecting, like, easter eggs and light or ambiguous foreshadowing. Instead, once I started researching the period, authors, works, etc., the story began to open and come together where it hadn't been before. I clearly was already enjoying it, but there were what I perceived to be fairly severe structural flaws and neither narrative focus nor diverse enough arcs. Except the more I read the source material and the more I engaged with bsd as a multimedia work in which the various adaptations were facets of a whole rather than the same story reinterpreted + the various spinoffs as fragments of canon; the more I noticed a dialogue between bsd and its source materials. Which, taken together, recontextualized what I previously perceived to be narrative flaws such that while novel in structure, bsd became a satisfying, deeply intentional narrative.

This isn't to say I am noticing only and everything Asagiri intended to write, but his own sincere engagement with the works on top of which bsd is written is so tightly woven into the story and characters that bsd is a genuinely innovative medium of literary critique and historical reflection for an expansive array of literature that spans several eras.

So, I really, really do have so much faith in and love for bsd, and I trust Kafka Asagiri implicitly. Not because I think it's without flaws or that it hits each of its marks; because, quite frankly, even evaluated in the context of its unique structure, it's a rough tumbled gem. I certainly don't trust the story to fall into into a more common or familiar structure either.

Instead, I trust it to be sincere, compassionate, thoughtful, ambitiously playful, delightfully absurd, and I trust it to have more heart than sense. But mostly, I trust that while the story and Kafka Asagiri are untethered from convention, they are grounded in the hope and love and desperate yearning for humanity that saturates each of the namesake authors' works and legacies.

So, yeah, I'm never worried; but I'm often delighted.

(also, thank you so much for the kind words!!! y'all are ruining me with how sweet you've been this evening 🥺 you're also very, very on point regarding the impact of my law background on my writing, specifically its bluntness and emphasis on clarity. the authoritativeness actually preceded my legal training and even my ability to write. i'll spare you the baby lore, but, like, yeah, i think we should just cut our losses on that one.)

[randomreadingtimewithtsuki]

ohohoh what about a (vnc) noé + reader where reader has a kinda similar backstory but flipped! Reader is a human orphan who was raised by vampires and so isnt scared of them. You can build on that or change it, I just feel like that would be an interesting concept...

Thank you, sending love your way 💗💞💝

Hello! I am sending love your way too! Thank you for waiting ❤️

I hope this is of your liking! please let me know what you think! 

Thank you for requesting!

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• You met Noé when you were both adults

• Your parents - who were vampires - were invited to a party and you went along.

• Of course they disguised your scent so you wouldn't get chased off.

• And they  planned to stay very little, just to say hi and all.

• While you waited for your parents on the balcony, you heard footsteps from behind you.

• You turned around to see a white haired man, with a mic of concern and curiosity in his eyes.

• He asked why you were alone during a party.

• You shrug it off saying you were about to leave, just waiting for your parents.

• The man decided he would make you company until then.

• Did you ask for it? No. Were you particularly happy about it? Also no.

• But he started talking, introducing himself - his name was Noé- and making small talk about the night.

• To not seem too human, you indulged him. 

• You ended up giggling quite a bit with him, the way he got excited about everything was quite cute.

• Your parents came around soon and you said goodbye to Noé.

• You also thanked him for the company!

• Your parents were worried about this small chit-chat- what if Noé was investigating you? 

• Some time went by and nothing happened.

• While you were walking around window shopping you bumped into somebody.

• When you turned to apologize, you saw Noé again. 

• He was super happy to see you and suddenly turned to another man - one with dark hair and light blue eyes.

• He introduced you two. The other man looked pissed. 

• As Noé babbled about when and how he met you, the other man - called Vanitas - raised an eyebrow.

• " I thought humans couldn't get into the vampire cities?"

• You froze. Vanitas was staring at you and Noé looked confused.

• Vanitas proceeded to yell explain you were a human.

• You sighed, you felt bad for lying for Noé since he was very kind to you.

• So you confirmed what Vanitas said and also explained how you got to the party.

• When you were done, an awkward silence took place for a few seconds.

• As soon as Vanitas started to say Noé should be more careful about who to trust, the white haired man opened a smile and with shine eyes said " Like me! Not really like me, but!"

• Your turn to be confused.

• He explained that he was adopted by humans.

• He grabbed your hands to finish the whole explanation with a " we are alike!" And a smile.

• You giggled at him and Vanitas seemed to die inside next to you both.

• You saw more of the two from there onwards.

• The interesting thing was that Noé recalled some human tradition you didn't know about and you knew about some vampire traditions that he didn't know.

• But surprisingly Vanitas knee more than you both. Often correcting or adding things here and there.

• As you recalled the past memories,  Noé got concerned for your parents - your life spam is quite shorter than theirs.

• He remembered the grief he felt back then and he could sympathize with the situation.

• He never told you that, is just something that crossed his mind.

• As time went by you two got closer and eventually he introduced you to Domi.

• She was quite shocked when she learned about you, but she was very kind to you.

• Whenever she is around you go for a tea or coffee together.

• Your knowledge of some vampire families was quite helpful for the duo. 

• Noé got super concerned whenever you were in danger because of it - he didn't want to blow your parents' cover or yours.

• So he tried his best to leave you out of everything and Vanitas advised him to pretend they didn't know you around other vampires - to avoid getting attention to you.

• Even from afar he quite liked you knew so much about vampire culture - including the feeding from blood.

• You offered him a bite many times and Noé usually took it. 

• He found your blood to have just the right sweetness. 

• That doesn't mean you offered whenever - you knew you had to be healthy to be able to "donate" your blood.

• And to be honest? He liked that you cared about yourself and consequently cared about him too.

• It broke his heart needing to have you at a certain distance for your safety.

• You tried your best to comfort him ! Give him head pats and hugs!

• It usually makes him melt into a puddle on your lap and sulk a bit.

• All in all, he is overly excited about you having a similar past to you.

• Which helped tons to grow closer! 

• Noé loves you tons! His greatest wish is to walk around with you without fearing for your safety around other vampires.

• He also wants to enjoy all the time he has with you which is scarce. 

• And you are aware of that as well, so you try to not be in as much trouble and enjoy your time.

• Noé would be the kind of guy to stay with you until the very end. 

• He doesn't mind you rapidly aging, he wants to be with you always.

• You might feel bad for staying with an elderly person, but he makes sure to reassure you and say you are, and always will be, the most beautiful person ever.

• So please take good care of this cinnamonroll! 

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Thank you for reading! 

Let me know what you think!