#visceral realism

[dis-nightmare-continues]

the nurturing son

1.

he buys into the culture nature vs nurture vulture in the city vulture wearing leather with someone else’s cult advertised on the sleeve

experienced lingo of course he identifies

with the movement movement, between between, movement

of course

loud music in the park cocaine habit both his parents

he supports both his lovers

of course he buys into the culture curse the movement, vulture in the city of cocaine and mdma out in the sticks where he

shakes his hands out in the boonies where deals are real he shakes his hands

his leg in the city

charity he supports

2.

in leather with someone else’s ego

advertised on the sleeve

his pleasure he sings he sings his pleasure every

chance he gets, his diet, his mind his body of course he sings

his pleasure every chance

he gets

on the side of a building in the alley it’s a busy night and there’s a streetlight out two cigarettes illuminate four baggy eyes under a moonless sky

new acquaintance, there’s recognition in the way they ash and schmooze pretending to know one another’s city better than they may if it weren’t for brandy’s voice

peeking through

some things slip through

the space between awareness

circumstance

a general understanding of shared

a sense of sincerity, or at least a thriving towards

such a sentiment through one’s gestures, and a

connection brick cold desert evening

dropped 10 degrees out of nowhere

pleads threshold my insatiable my own self

show me what it is that you know, he what secret let you through the to see beyond the absoluteness of desire and overcome my mistrust of

my own

mistrust in god the student and the teacher are roles

genuine feeling of needing

that we (must choose to) perform

3.

seven years of exploration seven years of self reckoning with observer

found guilty on all counts

regeneration, healing arts long forgotten or undiscovered

now made available from within

A new sense of pride paired with an understanding of one's own limitations

moments come and go, people prove to be but ghosts whose purpose has since expired and lay wandering in your mind like

parasite and host

lost in memory, for illusion of contentment but who is it that you look to? Who is it that you're so afraid to let down?

4.

false musings under a full moon, a group of pacifists with varying intentions and a unified goal carry their mothers wood body through the trees to burn

there's merit in this pyre, these throats they sing like toads in broken sadness, their toes cold but far from decay, protected in wool.

cold pale night breath thick as smoke they sing, sing to their mother they burn their mother the wood they burn

party concrescence

disco ball unleashed unto art studio floor it's your day comes crashing down the disco ball

comes crashing on to the art studio floor hard thunk

for cheap plastic all laugh no beer spilt all dance

all laugh

X

the opening continues drama intersecting unfolding narrative with an unspoken theme life of value

illusory revelation of which time in all its angles can be seen

X

toilet bowl alchemy it's a manifesto a flier on a wall in a yoga studio that serves as

a kratom speakeasy at night students Om in euphoric joy–perform improvised rituals of ecstatic movement men in black stand side by side, facing the crowd fluorescent psychonauts, right, I saw this in a dream once rainbow gathering motel party interdimensional speed dating and now it's hard to differentiate between the dream and what happened in reality

X

"You might want to go ahead and save my number, captain it's gonna be a long night and we aren't so well acquainted although I hope one day to be."

insufferable identity reclamation novel

I am hungry, wungry, and wise don't despise the water in your cup wet that whistle, watch it erupt you have so much dry brain how can you expect to write? Isn't the artist just channeling what someone else might? mites at your wrists on nights spent alone who knows who you could have been, reconciling what was lost–deep in thoughts but no way left to act. Act not and discover the sanctity of silence. The hermits delight. alchemical attachment, alternatively detached delight

————————————————

A lucid dream from long ago

projected into the present, I know this place, I mean I knew it even before I knew it from a dream.

A spiral of memory winds tight around sacral chakra threatens the lungs in restriction, neural pathways caked and calcified in dietary decisions long replaced

chipped away at by chaga, lions mane and MDMA, one moment at a time revealed now to the patient observer A time laps of seasons passed

you're too tired to skip over

waves of ideology, or a deeper sense of broadening one's own understanding of what's even going on–life lived through an unseen observer/ life lived for hedonistic pleasure/ life lived as a collection of memories, found

hardly anywhere at any given time

It's a way of being that tends to isolate–it inspires suspicion and runs you paranoid and hot, still your heart illuminates whether true archetypal inspiration is accessed or not

A long forgotten youthful dream of a lover who needed me, yes dear, this moment spent so close to you (hot breath, condensation, safe) was seen too, a premonition that saved me when I was a child with nothing to love or embrace

————————————————

False productivity

go ahead and explain this to my parents when I'm dead

I stopped believing in a consistent vision of reality. Ever changing ideology to match an ever changing world

and so set out to discover the times and the movement and found no great unifier just disconnected lexicon of youth who emulated what they didn't fully understand

It beat university commodification of consciousness a refraining of the same western values paying homepage to itself

shakers and tricksters make love in the woods, yearly ritual of everything and anything new age reductionism

Buddhist mistranslation psychedelic induced schizophrenia Smoke Smog Night

————————————————

this is where you were meant to go breathing in burning leaves in ritualistic sanctity. You don't quite fit in here, but you wear it nonchalant you've looked all across the country for a chance to lay your head at an inn with a view of the mountains. It's time now, those mountains, how they call, it's time now, cold at last, delightful cold your lover jumps up and down on

the wooden floors of her apartment. the bears are sleeping, but we do not sleep breath burning leaves

do we not sleep

————————————————

guilt don't pay the bills, so

don't go deeper into delusions of re evolution of the species

keeps you up at night how darwin

must have lost

sleep neurotic daydreamer

try to heat your cabin by candlelight

i moved out here to get away from everyone

who ever said they loved me search aimlessly

simply exploring urban landscapes for sake of

some sense of indoctrination into a reality i grew up fetishizing

disneyland too late

cleveland ohio too late

the post surrealist

pseudo industrial anti intellectual revolution will not be streamed on twitch

i wrestle with dopamine i take out my frustration on lower vibrational creatures for my envy of poets long dead

for i know not what life is like outside the framework of abandoned factories who roofs offered views that were once the furthest i had seen from home

————————————————

what good is an

art town without art a thick layer of makeup on a puffy corpse

Patagonia colonizers never seen at night offensive mediocrity on brutalized land

mother mountain's passive hand she watches from the Jemez for ignorants to ignore

to rest, to heal a cowards chore

[rimouskis]

not to be an elitist literature nerd or whatever but it's mind-boggling how much of the general public just... cannot do basic media interpretation. like hello.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also the Biggest Eternalest Moods

[storeecbrcod]

Me, someone who’s mildly obsessed with writing gruesome injuries based in semi-realism:

TW: gore, explicit descriptions of deadly injuries below cut

“Yes, yes, being impaled through the back by a Mimic and watching mangled parts of the mechsuit stab through a hole in his chest, blood trying and failing to mix with hydraulic fluid as he stares down in horror, only to wake up and be unable to shake the feeling of burning and the pressure of metal in his chest despite being very alive and very untouched now, thanks to the Groundhog Day bullshit. Delectable, perfect.”

Edge of Tomorrow was a great movie, btw. The only movie I’ve seen where they didn’t put Tom Cruise’s spiteful lil ass on a literal soapbox because he’s too short LMAO

[triflesandparsnips]

On the one hand, the noises I would make if Stede and Ed have a hot, slow, forbidden-or-is-it kiss that makes my jaded queer heart beat again inside my weathered carapace--

but on the other hand, how amazing it would be if they were just COMPLETELY out of sync because they're both clueless and they want so much and sometimes 'want' can get in the way of 'successful navigation of a physical moment with another human being' and that's it's own kind of powerful, the sheer awkwardness that screams down your bones as you realize that you are watching something so real that your hindbrain starts clawing at your central nervous system because if they're panicking about mouths and you're panicking on their behalf then who's on watch for sabertooths

[manticore239]

The Yellowing Road

I wish I could say I was as calm as I looked, but I’m not. Beneath the skin-deep poise, a tremor ripples through me—uncontrollable, panicked shaking, the inevitable result of breaking the one rule: “Don’t look down.” But it’s too late. I’ve seen it, and no amount of willing blindness can undo that revelation.

Everyone complains about the irregularities of the road we walk on. Some stub their toes and curse. Others wrinkle their noses at the ever-present stench. People trip and fall, slicing themselves open on jagged edges, their wounds oozing and festering. “It is what it is,” they say. “Don’t complain about what you can’t fix.”

But the road isn’t merely flawed. It was built from desperation and innovation, from the remains of a past too grotesque to face. Its very foundation is a concrete mixture of human remains, ground and reconstituted into something we tread on daily without thought. Beneath my feet, brittle bones crunch like dry leaves. A kicked fragment skitters ahead—not a stray walnut but an amalgam of shattered teeth and plastered dental fillings, clicking off the hollowed skulls of expired strangers.

We all know the truth, deep down. That’s why no one looks. To look down is to risk annihilation of the soul. The road is a graveyard, a monument to everything we’ve consumed to survive. A single glance is enough to rob you of sleep, of sanity, of the will to keep moving. Look long enough, and you’ll crumble under the weight of it, become bedridden, unable to earn your place above the cement. You’ll fall, and soon enough, your body will join the next avenue’s unholy mix.

I see it in the eyes of others when they catch me staring downward, their gazes flickering with recognition and dread. My expression betrays the truth they’ve repressed, shattering their fragile denial. Their fear mirrors mine, though they hide it better—for now. But reality stinks worse than decay, a stench too foul for our senses to endure.

And yet, amid this nightmare, I notice something else. Tiny shoots of green—thin, fragile tendrils forcing their way through cracks in the pavement. They seem impossible, and yet they persist, defying the weight of the road above them. They draw their strength not from denial but from the very horror we refuse to face, reclaiming nourishment from the remnants of what once was.

The others don’t notice, their gazes locked firmly forward or cast to the ground in resignation. But I see them—the first flowers of a truth too powerful to suppress. They whisper to me, their petals trembling in the foul wind: Life endures. Beauty endures. Even here.

A choice lies before me. I can keep walking, pretending not to see, preserving the illusion of stability while cracks spider-web beneath my feet. Or I can kneel—risk breaking the unspoken rules—and nurture the green shoots rising from the ashes. To touch them is to risk everything. But perhaps, in the end, it is the only way to rebuild a road that doesn’t demand our bones.

[thedreadvampy]

lady paaaaarrrrrtttttssssss

[hayatheauthor]

The Writer's Guide to Authentic Wounds and Fatalities

Writing fatal injuries in a story requires a delicate balance between realism and narrative impact. The portrayal of these life-altering events can evoke strong emotions in readers and shape the trajectory of your characters' journeys. In this blog, I will explore the intricacies of depicting fatal injuries in a manner that feels authentic, engaging, and respectful to the gravity of such circumstances. By understanding the nuances of fatal injuries, you will be equipped to craft compelling narratives that resonate with your readers.

Writing Fatal Injuries

When it comes to writing fatal injuries, it is crucial to approach the subject with care and accuracy. Fatal injuries carry immense consequences for your characters and can shape the trajectory of your story. By delving into the intricacies of portraying fatal injuries authentically, you can ensure that the gravity and impact of such events are effectively conveyed to your readers.

Choosing the right injuries for your story

Selecting the appropriate fatal injuries for your narrative involves considering various factors. Ask yourself: What purpose does this injury serve within the story? How does it affect the characters and the overall plot? Conduct thorough research to identify injuries that align with your story's context and resonate with the emotional journey of your characters.

For example, in a historical drama, you may research common fatal injuries during a particular era, such as battlefield injuries, diseases, or accidents prevalent at the time. In a crime thriller, you might explore the portrayal of fatal gunshot wounds or traumatic injuries resulting from violent encounters. By aligning the injuries with the context and themes of your story, you create a more immersive and believable experience for your readers.

Researching the mechanics of fatal injuries

To portray fatal injuries convincingly, it is essential to delve into the mechanics behind them. Understand the specific anatomical structures and systems involved, as well as the forces or mechanisms that can lead to fatal outcomes. Explore medical resources, consult experts if possible, and gather insights into the physiological and psychological implications of such injuries.

For instance, if your character suffers a fatal stab wound, research the anatomy involved, the potential organs affected, and the potential consequences such as internal bleeding or organ failure. By understanding the specific details and implications of the injury, you can describe the physical and emotional toll it takes on the character with greater accuracy and depth.

Depicting the immediate aftermath

When writing about fatal injuries, vividly describe the immediate aftermath to capture the intense emotions and physical realities. Consider the sensory details, the shock and disbelief experienced by characters, and the chaotic environment that often surrounds such events. Balancing realism with the needs of your story, create a scene that immerses readers and evokes empathy.

For example, if a character experiences a fatal car accident, you can depict the chaos at the scene, the character's disorientation, and the reactions of witnesses. Emphasize the sensory details such as the sound of screeching tires or the smell of burning rubber, creating a visceral experience for your readers.

Emotional and dramatic impact on the narrative

The impact of fatal injuries extends beyond the immediate moment. Explore the ripple effects on other characters, relationships, and the overall plot. Delve into the emotional responses, grief, guilt, anger, or determination that arises in the aftermath of loss. Utilize these emotional arcs to deepen character development and drive the narrative forward.

For instance, the loss of a loved one due to a fatal illness might lead to grief and strained relationships among the remaining family members. The emotional journey of a character grappling with guilt and seeking redemption after causing a fatal accident can become a central theme in your story. By delving into these emotional arcs and their consequences, you add depth and resonance to your narrative.

Writing Minor Injuries

While fatal injuries may capture our attention with their dramatic impact, it is equally important to pay attention to the portrayal of minor injuries in your writing. Minor injuries, though less severe, can still significantly affect your characters and contribute to the authenticity of your story. In this section, we will explore the art of depicting minor injuries, ensuring that they are not overlooked or trivialized. By delving into the nuances of minor injuries, you can add depth and realism to your characters' experiences.

Types of minor injuries to consider

When crafting your story, it is essential to consider a range of minor injuries that can occur. These injuries can include cuts, bruises, sprains, minor burns, or even minor fractures. Each type of injury carries its own unique characteristics, associated pain levels, and recovery processes. By understanding these distinctions, you can create accurate and believable depictions that resonate with your readers.

For example, a character who sustains a cut on their hand may experience sharp pain, the sight of blood, and the need for immediate first aid. On the other hand, a character with a sprained ankle may struggle with mobility, experience swelling, and require rest and care for a few days. By paying attention to these specific details, you can enhance the realism of your storytelling.

Conveying pain and discomfort

When writing about minor injuries, it is important to effectively convey the pain and discomfort experienced by your characters. Consider describing the sensation of pain, the throbbing or stinging feeling, and how it affects their daily activities or interactions. Showcasing the emotional impact of pain, such as frustration, irritation, or vulnerability, can deepen the readers' connection to the character's experience.

For instance, if a character suffers from a sprained wrist, you can describe the dull ache that persists, making simple tasks like typing or holding objects challenging. By capturing these small but significant moments, you immerse readers in the character's struggle and create a more realistic portrayal.

Balancing realism with narrative pace

While it is important to depict minor injuries realistically, it is also crucial to strike a balance with the overall pace and momentum of your story. Consider the significance of the injury within the larger context of your narrative. Some injuries may require more detailed attention and impact the plot, while others may serve as background elements. Adjust the level of detail and focus accordingly, ensuring that the portrayal of minor injuries aligns with the narrative's flow.

For example, a small cut on a character's finger may not require an extensive description unless it becomes infected or triggers an unexpected consequence. By aligning the portrayal of minor injuries with their narrative relevance, you maintain a consistent pace while still acknowledging their impact on your characters' lives.

Writing Bloodshed And Realistic Blood Loss

When writing about wounds and injuries, it is essential to consider the amount of blood loss your characters may experience. Realistic portrayal of bloodshed can enhance the authenticity of your scenes and immerse readers in the gravity of the situation. In this section, we will explore the factors influencing blood loss and techniques for accurately depicting it in your writing.

Understanding blood loss and its impact on the body

To authentically portray blood loss, it's crucial to have a basic understanding of how the human body responds to injury. Research the circulatory system and the role of blood in transporting oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. Consider the different types of blood vessels and their potential for bleeding when injured. This knowledge will help you create realistic scenarios and determine the appropriate level of blood loss for specific injuries.

Factors influencing blood loss in different injury scenarios

The amount of blood loss can vary depending on the severity and location of the injury. Factors such as the size of blood vessels, the rate of bleeding, and the body's ability to clot play a significant role. For example, a deep laceration in an artery will result in more substantial blood loss compared to a superficial cut on the skin. Consider these factors when describing injuries and their resulting bloodshed.

Techniques for accurately portraying blood loss in writing

There are several techniques you can use to convey the realistic impact of blood loss in your writing. Describing the color, consistency, and flow of blood can provide vivid imagery. You can also include physical symptoms such as dizziness, weakness, or fainting that may accompany significant blood loss. Additionally, consider the emotional response of your characters and how they react to the sight of blood or their own injuries.

By incorporating these techniques, you can create scenes that evoke a visceral response in readers and enhance the authenticity of your writing.

Bruises: Colors, Progression, and Pain

Bruises are a common result of injuries, and understanding how they form, change in color, and cause discomfort can greatly enhance the realism of your writing. By accurately describing bruises, you can bring depth to your characters' injuries and portray their healing process convincingly.

Understanding the stages and colors of bruises

Bruises go through distinct stages of color as they heal. Initially, they may appear red or purple due to the broken blood vessels beneath the skin. Over time, the color changes to blue, green, yellow, and eventually fades to a brown or yellowish hue. Understanding this color progression can help you accurately describe the age of a bruise and the healing process.

For example, a fresh bruise might be vivid purple, indicating recent trauma, while a fading bruise may have a yellowish tinge, suggesting that healing has begun. By incorporating these color details, you can add realism to your characters' injuries and track the passage of time within your narrative.

Depicting the progression of bruises over time

As bruises heal, they often change in appearance and size. Initially, a bruise may be small and localized, but it can gradually spread and become more extensive. Describing this progression can provide a sense of the healing process and the passage of time within your story.

For instance, a character who sustains a significant blow to the face may develop a bruise that starts as a small spot near the eye but expands to cover a larger area over the next few days. By accurately portraying the progression of bruises, you enhance the authenticity of your characters' injuries and their recovery.

Conveying the pain and sensitivity associated with bruises

Bruises can be painful, sensitive to touch, and affect a character's movement and daily activities. Describing the pain and discomfort experienced by your characters can create empathy and immerse readers in their physical ordeals.

Consider conveying the tenderness of a bruise when pressure is applied, the throbbing sensation, or the limitation of movement due to the pain.

Remember The Side Effects

Injuries, whether minor or severe, often come with a range of side effects that can significantly impact your characters' lives. These side effects can extend beyond the physical realm and encompass emotional, psychological, and social aspects.

Physical side effects

Injuries can have profound physical side effects that go beyond the immediate pain and discomfort. Consider the potential consequences such as limited mobility, impaired coordination, chronic pain, or the need for assistive devices like crutches or braces. Describing these physical side effects can add depth to your characters' struggles and provide a realistic portrayal of their healing journey.

For example, a character who sustains a leg injury may experience difficulty walking, require physical therapy, or have long-term complications that affect their day-to-day activities. By addressing these physical side effects, you create a more nuanced depiction of the aftermath of injuries.

Emotional and psychological side effects

Injuries can have a profound emotional and psychological impact on characters. They may experience fear, anxiety, trauma, or a loss of confidence. Consider how the injury affects their self-image, relationships, or mental well-being. Explore the emotional journey your characters undergo as they navigate the aftermath of their injuries.

For instance, a character who survives a near-fatal accident may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and struggle with recurring nightmares or panic attacks. By incorporating these emotional and psychological side effects, you can deepen the complexity of your characters and their responses to traumatic experiences.

Social implications and changes

Injuries can also lead to significant social changes for your characters. They may face challenges in their personal relationships, encounter stigma or discrimination, or experience changes in their roles or identities. Explore how the injury affects their interactions with others and their sense of belonging in the world.

For example, a character who sustains a facial injury may encounter judgment or stares from others, leading to self-consciousness or isolation. By addressing the social implications and changes resulting from injuries, you can create multi-dimensional characters and explore the impact of their injuries on their social dynamics.

By incorporating these various side effects into your writing, you bring depth and authenticity to your characters' experiences and showcase the wide-ranging impact of injuries.

Conclusion

Writing authentic wounds and fatalities requires attention to detail and a deep understanding of the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects involved. By following the guidelines and exploring the subheadings discussed in this guide, you can create compelling and realistic portrayals of injuries in your writing.

Remember to conduct thorough research on the specific injuries you want to depict, understanding their mechanics, symptoms, and potential outcomes. Consider the immediate and long-term effects on your characters, both physically and emotionally. Incorporate sensory details to immerse readers in the experience, describing the pain, bloodshed, colors of bruises, and the progression of healing.

Additionally, don't forget to address the side effects that injuries can have on your characters' lives. Explore the physical limitations, emotional struggles, and social implications that arise from their injuries. By delving into these aspects, you can create well-rounded characters and compelling narratives that resonate with readers.

I hope this blog on forging epic battles will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.  

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey! 

[oooocleo]

theres a couple of books missing from here bc they didnt tile nicely but kicks my legs... reading log so far from the first half of 2024 🫡

i wanted to share my favourites out of the above as well:

carmilla by sheridan le fanu (the og vampire novella, somewhat archaic writing style but Way more lesbian than i was expecting, v evocative of those insane girlhood friendships one has growing up afab)

the goblin emperor by katherine addison (maia… the ultimate good boy truly trying his best to be a good ruler - i felt alternatively so bad for him and rly proud of the sentiment of kindness he embodied + gorg descriptions of the goblin/elf cultures)

empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo (novella; gorgeous poetic writing, like catching glimpses of an epic fantasy story but being Allowed to fill in a ton of it yourself.. rly tactile…also WAMEN and a sprinkle of lesbianism 🤌)

white is for witching by helen oyeyemi (magical realism prose which powerfully serves the unreliable narrator/psychological issues the protagonist has/seems to have + haunted house horror where the house is also in the characters after they leave.. i rly want to reread it already)

the dispossessed by ursula k le guin (anarchist socialist anticapitalist anti-prison anti-police theory beamed straight into my brain. made me want to move to the moon. actually nuanced in its depiction of issues in supposedly utopian societies)

annihilation by jeff vandermeer (delicious bio-horror.. weirdness abounds… really vivid pov/protagonist in the autistic broad shouldered biologist, imo very well crafted mystery but dont go in expecting to have all the answers at the end, thats Not The Point tm)

blood over bright haven by ML wang (sciona.... ur THE power hungry maniac academic ive been waiting for... this is a visceral fantasy that quite skillfully deals w gender & ethnic oppression w.o cheapening those issues for the (lowkey) romance's sake, a common gripe for me)

bride by ali hazelwood (just a freaking good time if uve been traumatized by abusive male leads ur supposed to like.. werewolf x vampire contemporary romance)

[romanceyourdemons]

nosferatu (2024) is a lovely and often interesting film, but it does have a number of flaws, not least that i do not feel it truly is a nosferatu film. as is expected of robert eggers, it has lovely period-accurate sets captured in gorgeous lineal framing reminiscent of silent film and shot through with numerous references to classic film from faust (1924) to beauty and the beast (1946), and the presence of the supernatural is wonderfully visceral. and yet eggers, who usually puts so much energy into the realism of dialogue and period in his film, falls flat in this one—between the actors’ strained british accents and a narrative that does not engage at all with the culture and fears of its ostensibly german setting, the film seemed to be just another dracula story set in london. of course, what eggers really wants in the nosferatu conceit that he cannot get in a more typical story is the grand conclusion where a maiden willingly offers herself to the beast, thereby defeating him. the engine of fear in this film is the fear of losing control over your mind, losing control over your sexuality, and being compelled to obey; although i felt that the theme of sex, like the german setting, fell somewhat flat through extensive telling and not showing, i cannot deny that the revamped bride of dracula mina harkness plot gave admirable weight to the conclusion, the ultimate act of taking control over one’s sexuality. another victim of telling and not showing was the supposed modernity and enlightenment of europe, which was referenced ad nauseum but never shown in its medieval-looking town—putting strain on the emotional delivery of its clear and unavoidably orientalist narrative of the East as a nightmare den of pagan practices, disease, and unrestrained sexuality that cannot help but desire to spread its unholy influence over the enlightened West through the vector of greedy men and sexual women. at least it did make an effort to reframe the roma as vampire hunters rather than orlok’s unthinking slaves, and at least there were some cool shadow-based visuals that we got out of it. all things told, nosferatu (2024) has some very good visuals and very interesting concepts that it seeks to work with, but unfortunately, through excessive seeking and little accomplishing it falls flat

[quicktimeeventfull]

Happy October, everyone! Halloween is around the corner and it's the month for scary stories. let's gather around a cauldron and read some together.

caligula would have blushed by findingsaturn / @jaggedteeth (Explicit, Lawlight) Light and L engage in some ethically dubious research which brings them closer together. A delightful mad scientist fic, perfect for fans of body horror.

speak through fingers by sharptoothed / @dykelawlight (Explicit, Lawlight) In which the death note enacts some permanent changes in its users. The body horror fic of all time, frankly. Beautifully written and genuinely frightening at points. starving by @neallo (Mature, Meronia) Vampire Meronia!! In which Near must feed and Mello is able to provide. Featuring incredible & visceral blood drinking. This is an incredibly fun and compelling rendition of vampires. Bad Bad Things by TheCatfish / @catfishmaster (Gen) Beyond Birthday commits a murder. I loved this one -- it's both horrifying and fun. It feels like a slasher story, in a very good way. and the guillotine laughs again by feast (Mostly gen, some Mattmello) A classic, and truly one of the best Death Note fics of all time. We get a glimpse into life after Kira's fall, featuring horrific magical realism. Bonus humour fic Accidentally the whole Light by Anonymous Let's teleport back to the kink meme & also some very vintage memes. In which an accident occurs.

[waitmyturtles]

Final Thoughts on The Trainee! (TL;DR That Last 4/4 Quarter Was a Major Fumble, But It Didn't Ruin the Whole Show For Me)

I had promised my friends @lurkingshan and @shortpplfedup that I honestly wouldn't write too much about The Trainee while it was airing, because I was mad sus about the crew of this show. Many of the crew of The Trainee had worked on an ill-fated GMMTV het drama called UMG, which aired last year, and which starred Nanon Korapat, Namtan Tipnaree, and Milk Pansa in an unfortunate, chemistry-devoid love triangle. It was a flop and I never finished it.

I had thought to think about where this crew came from about four episodes into The Trainee, when I realized that the MO of this series was to center not Ryan's and Jane's budding romance, but the inner workings of an office, and the infrastructures of making filmed content instead.

UMG was framed in a similar way. While the show struggled to contextualize romance among its characters, the center of each episode was actually about describing concepts regarding extraterrestrial life -- things like crop circles and whatever. (There were aliens in this show.) (Dammit, I can't find a gif of the aliens!) (Here's Milk with some boogie eyes instead, whatever.)

As @lurkingshan wrote often during her watch of the series, The Trainee was ultimately a workplace BL, and I'd add to that that it was meant to serve as an educational series to GMMTV's unique audience. I wondered, early on in The Trainee, if I was just too damn old, as a working professional, to be an audience to this show. GMMTV's audience, of course, skews Gen Z and maybe very-late millennial -- GMMTV's shows are equivalent to shows airing on MTV or The CW by way of its majority audience market.

I certainly had a lot of experience by way of how interpersonal relationships mostly played out in this series (although I reeeeeally needed Judy to acknowledge her kissing Ba-Mhee and to talk about it, the way Jane acknowledged the power gap between him and Ryan after they started dating).

But, honestly? I ended up LOVING the breakdowns of how creating filmed content works, especially in regards to how viscerally and intensely these concepts were depicted.

And The Trainee stepped into some other territory, y'all! Many of us had intense discussions regarding bisexual inclusion and erasure once Tae and Ba-Mhee got back together. These concepts are sophisticated and important to ruminate on -- again, especially for a younger audience being fed most binary male-male and female-female queer media and concepts by a giant like GMMTV, which makes a ton of money on branding same-sex actors together. Queerness has a lot of spectrums, and bi inclusion was something I was glad this series unexpectedly took on.

So, against all this good stuff, that last 4/4 quarter sucked. I felt terrible for Ryan's 20-something hormones. Jane went to get a masters', and didn't even *call* his.... his boo? (Ryan wasn't Jane's boyfriend, obviously, maybe we could call Ryan his crush, his boo-boo, whatever.) Like. Jane didn't even come back to Thailand to visit, ever? Come awn now. If a show is feeding realism to a young audience by way of how corporate workplaces work, and how the art of an industry is made, at least please make the final romance a little more realistic!

(All y'all 20-somethings who were watching this show and wondering if you should wait five years for a potential boo to come back from overseas, please listen to your auntie here, GO DATE OTHER PEOPLE. Don't be like Ryan. Focus on *YOUR* NEEDS. This has been your reality-based PSA.)

But the rest of the finale was lovely for me. Jo, to me, was a realistic boss. He had a priority in keeping on Jane as an assistant director, because Jane was a great assistant director, and served well in that role, which served well for Jo's company. When Jane expressed an interest in growing, Jo knew that Jane couldn't do it in Jo's shadow -- and Jo said so. Jane taking a risk to LEAVE is a kind of risk I've had to confront time and time again in my own career, as I grew out of a workplace, and grew out of what that workplace was demanding of me. It's a wonderful notion for young people to contemplate on -- that movement in one's career must be first and foremost driven by the individual themself, for the sake of their own accountability to their growth.

I was thrilled to see Sea Tawinan in them white pants Ba-Mhee and Tae's engagement, Tae setting guardrails for himself to focus more on Ba-Mhee, and omg Pie's and Ba-Mhee's breakdown had me howling. Poon's a new fave as well. The Trainee confirmed my continued deep love and appreciation for Piploy, I think she's cute and great-great.

I truly enjoyed this show. The crew ultimately de-centralized romance for most of the show to focus on how work lives and personal lives realistically intertwine. We are the same people at work as we are at home, with all of the messiness we bring to those tables, including unrecommended romances that may traverse age and power gaps. Things can get messy, but I think, other than the whole Judy thing and Jane ghosting Ryan for years (wtf man), The Trainee handled that messiness with empathy for the young people who did a lot of growing up during the course of this series.

[thebramblewood]

I might have to block the inzoi tag. Aside from the AI and Curseforge shadiness, the realism is too much for me. Did not expect to have multiple visceral reactions of wanting to throw my phone across the room while scrolling the dash this morning.

[starvels]

starvels’ Smut Recs for @cap-ironman Steve/Tony Fic Rec Week 2024

For Smut Recs, enjoy these resplendent, juicy berries. May they burst rich upon thy tongue. Please remember to leave a hollering comment, add a busty, blushing kudos, or hit a reblog on a fic post in order to show your gleeful appreciation of such delicious goods.

Check out all of starvels’ Cap-IM 2024 Rec Lists [here].

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(touch me) at the seams by welcoming_disaster @welcomingdisaster

Tags: Established Relationship, Avengers Vol. 8 (2018), BDSM, Bondage, Impact Play, Smut, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Gags, Mild Angst, Painplay, Tony Stark's General Control Issues, Dom Steve Rogers, Sub Tony Stark, with a hint of switching, Solid B+ BDSM etiquette, Enthusiastic Consent, Mild Breathplay, Subspace Summary: Tony wants more out of his relationship with Steve and gets it. Notes: A bruise-beautiful exploration of BDSM realism and messy love in-between Steve and Tony, interwoven in the context of their superhero lives.

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down the rabbit hole by starvels

Tags: Iron Man Armor/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Plot What Plot, Implied Consent, Armor Kink, Sparring, Superpower Sex, Heavy BDSM, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Masochism, Dom/sub, Sub Steve Rogers, Dom Iron Man, Dom Tony Stark, Anal Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Deepthroating, Ass to Mouth, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Leashes, Collars, Bondage, deep penetration, Large insertions, Size Kink, Strength Kink, Blood Kink, Spanking, Slapping, Nipple Torture, Humiliation, Technological Kink, Power Dynamics, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Open Relationships, Somnophilia (Referenced), Come as Lube Summary: Steve spends an entire afternoon at the mercy of the Iron Man armor. He gets exactly what he asks for, and then some. Notes: 25k of intense RACK Iron Man armor kink. You already know if this is your meal ticket. Punch it in, bud.

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Whole Lotta Love by lomku @oluka

Tags: Bodyswap, Sparring, Established Relationship, Porn with a little bit of Plot, BDSM, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Dom Steve Rogers, Sub Tony Stark, Bottom Steve Rogers, Dirty Talk, Tenderness, Avengers Vol. 8 (2018), Iron Man Vol. 6 (2020), Rough Sex, Topping from the Bottom Summary: Tony and Steve get hit by a spell that makes them switch bodies. They decide to make use of the opportunity to play out one of Steve's kinks. Notes: THIS! is! the body swapping power dynamics exploration you have been looking for. Beautiful hot steam, thoughtfully sculpted into a one interchangeable form.

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Wishing You'd Dreamt Me by Kiyaar @kiyaar

Tags: hickmanvengers, Mindwipe, PWP, Angst, Secrets, BDSM, Gags, Guilt, incursions, Bondage, Messy Power Dynamics, Established Relationship, Betrayal Summary: Steve keeps enforcing his own silence, keeps parcelling himself up to give to Tony, for Tony's enjoyment at Steve’s expense. Keeps writing blank emotional checks. Notes: Slide yourself riiiight into this mess and immerse yourself in Steve and Tony and the heaving guilt and sweltering heat between them like a happy lil gator going to swamp town.

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Deep In the Woods by dirigibleplumbing @dirigibleplumbing

Tags: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Sexual Fantasy, Oral Sex, Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Face-Fucking, Facials, Begging, Choking, Tony talks about Civil War but don't expect a conversation between two people meeting each other as equals lol, Not A Fix-It, Not A Happy Ending, Avengers: Prime (2010), Avengers Vol. 4 (2010) Summary: In the aftermath of an argument that ended with Steve yelling that Tony was off the Avengers, Tony comes to find out if Steve still means it. What can Steve say? There’s a war between them, one Tony erased from his memory. Tony’s still a traitor and a liar. He needs to face the consequences of his actions. And Steve needs to stop fantasizing about how he saw Tony violated in Jotunheim. Notes: Raise your glass to toast this Messy Possessive Visceral Consent-Fucky SteveTony Banger Of A Jam with me, altogether now.

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make the most of my own surrender by fuckofdaedalus @the-faultofdaedalus

Tags: Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Impact Play, Whipping, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Extremis, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Safety Goggles Summary: They both had a thing for it, both ways round, being marked up by eachother, but before now, it was mostly just fantasy, when it came to Steve. He healed too quickly for that, for any marks Tony put on him to last longer than an hour or two. After Extremis, Steve had thought I’d be the same for Tony, and had both mourned the lost of being able to mark him up and had felt privately relieved that they would be on more equal ground, now. And then Tony had revealed that he could actually control how fast he healed. And that had been. Well. That’d done a lot for Steve. That he could mark Tony up with a crop or a switch or just his bare hand, and that not only would he keep those marks, but that if he did, he was choosing to, actively, keep them. Because it also did it for him, and because he knew how much it did it for Steve. And then Tony had suggested that he could give other people Extremis. And that he could probably whip up a version that could control Steve’s healing. And. Well. Here they were. Notes: This fic shouts SWITCH RIGHTS loud and clear and we must all tune in to hear the gorgeous bill of those rights! Some transhumanism w your kink?? Yessir !

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give you everything by tinystark616 @tinystark616

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Bottom Steve Rogers, Top Tony Stark, Anal Fingering, Riding, Armor Kink Summary: Steve really likes how Tony looks in the Iron Man armor. Notes: Author says, "I may have been looking for an excuse to write Tony fingering Steve while wearing the gauntlet," and honestly we all have been looking for an excuse to READ this, as well.

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to pleat light by starvels

Tags: Established Relationship, Sparring, Semi-Public Sex, BDSM, Trans Tony Stark, Sub Tony Stark, Dom Steve Rogers, Humiliation, Dirty Talk, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Vaginal Fingering, Exhibitionism, Mirror Sex, Sex Positions, Self-Bondage, Slapping, genital slapping, Spanking, Biting, Painplay, Scent Kink, Spit As Lube, Come as Lube, Wet & Messy, Barebacking, Puppy Play, Breathplay, Choking, Blood Kink, Overstimulation, Objectification, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Bruises Summary: “Be sure, Tony. I won’t stop once I start,” Steve says. “Oh yeah?” Tony cranes his neck around to follow Steve. Blond hair is tickling Steve’s brow and his body is tensed up, muscles bulging against his shirt. Anticipation whets Tony’s tongue; his body as impatient as his mind for Steve, always for whatever Steve has planned for them. It mixes with the sumptuous shame of potentially being discovered out here in the gym. “That a promise, tough guy? Gonna give it to me so good that I won’t be able to get away? Won’t even want to —” like he ever does, “won’t think to tap out?” “Sure,” Steve says. Notes: Sparring turned into kinky horizontal athletic barebacking -- what's more of a classic than this? Tune in for the next episode of Tony's face meets the mat, here.

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Black or White? by goresmores

Tags: Cunnilingus, Frottage, Tiddy Suckin, First Time, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes Summary: Tony needs help getting ready for an event and sensual dress zipping leads to a whole lot more when Stevie comes to help. Notes: Everyone has a tit-spectacularly good time here for sure and so should you!

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For your eyes only by S_Horne @s-horne

Tags: Female Steve Rogers, Female Tony Stark, Period Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Genderswap, Blood, Period Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, Fluff Summary: Toni was laid back on the bed, hair fanned out on the pillow beneath her and already tangled in messy knots. Her legs were spread wide, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she stared at Steph through half-lidded eyes. That would have been gorgeous in itself, but what was making Steph’s mouth water was the way that Toni’s pussy was positively shining. Toni was soaking already, juices slowly dripping out of her and pooling in a wet spot on the towel they’d laid out. Steph licked her lips and squeezed her thighs together when a bubble of blood slid out of Toni’s hole. Because that’s what the towel was for. That’s why Toni was laid out bare. Bright red blood was slipping out of Toni steadily, labia already coated with the thinner liquid that would have caught in her panties. Notes: IF we are truly to unravel the sticky, iridescent, blood-filled center of superheroes lives, we MUST also lean our lips into the blood in their sex lives. This is thus.

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Slick Moves by Loran_Arameri @loraneldin

Tags: Tony's armor goo, Pre-Slash, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Misuse of SHIELD supplies, Ambiguous/Open Ending Summary: Steve has developed a fascination for the Iron Man Armor, especially for the flight-gel that covers Tony whenever he pilots the suit. In an attempt to satisfy his curiosity, he steals a bucket of it with no plans for what to do with it. After bringing it home, one thing leads to another. Notes: We should and in fact MUST support Steve's nasty fascination with all things regarding the Iron Man Armor, particularly Ultimates' IM's armor flight gel. It is categorically Essential and you are Legally Obligated.

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slow fire by welcoming_disaster @welcomingdisaster

Tags: Bittersweet, Established Relationship, Banter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Sexual Content, Hopeful Ending, Slice of Life, Mentions of Cancer, very boring established relationship sex, cannot overstate the extent to which these people are lazy about fucking, Holidays, Feelings Realization Summary: Steve spends Christmas at Tony's. Notes: Set this in your gums and suck on it like a nice ginger snack, let it melt over your tongue so good.

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forecheck by starvels

Tags: Avengers Team, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Sports, Rivals With Benefits, Queer Themes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Smoking, Flirting, Banter, Getting Together, Switching, Rough Sex, Biting, Oral Sex, Face-Fucking, Dirty Talk, Scent Kink, Bruises, Frottage, Anal Sex, Spit As Lube, Nipple Play, Nipple Piercings, Come Shot, Casual Sex, Trans Tony Stark, Power Dynamics, Partial Nudity, Deepthroating, Roughhousing Summary: On the first day of the All Star Games, Steve loses the shooting skill challenge, chain-smokes three cigarettes as a reward for doing a half-naked photoshoot, and sleeps with Natasha Stark. All in all, it’s not a bad start to the weekend. Notes: Muscular bodies dealing with the spectre of publicity, the serious slickness of sweat against sweat, and intricate, nasty power dynamics; it's not 3490 canon but it's not not 3490 canon.

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bear my soul and breathe by fuckofdaedalus @the-faultofdaedalus

Tags: Breathplay, Hand Jobs, Established Relationship, Kink Discovery, Under-negotiated Kink, Fluff and Smut Summary: practicing pins in the avengers gym gets a little rowdy. just some simple s/t breathplay. Notes: A juicy slice of domestic life that tastes really classically trope baked and deliciously endearment sweet.

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Something fell from the sky. by jayjayverse @jayjayverse

Tags: Fanart, Tentacles, Explicit Sexual Content Summary: When Tony is missing in action. Steve starts looking for him right away and when he finally finds him, it's nothing like he thought it would be. Notes: Steve, too, longs for those comic tentacles to finally have their way with Tony and we are so lucky to be able to see it in such detail here.

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Time, Space, Flesh by veryvincible @cassabi

Tags: Getting Together, lots and lots of banter, wistfulness, Bittersweet Ending, Happy Ending, It's BOTH it depends on how you look at it… but it's both, Canon Divergence, Oral Sex, Gentle Sex, handjobs, Steve Rogers is a Little Shit (affectionate), Pre-Serum Steve Rogers Summary: ��I’ve got a hotel room,” Tony said. “And if we’re seen?” Tony’s response came quick, too confident. He’d given the same spiel many times before. “Oh, you know. Good friends. Had a bit to drink. Maybe we’re French— you know how it is. Besides, we’ve been here for how long, now? If anyone was going to notice you, you’d think they’d have done it by now.” Notes: Bullet Points of this Bullet Points fic: - compelling concept - affectionate articulation - great pacing and tone - a tart lil cherry of longing for the road to finish it off.

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Game Over by swtalmnd @amysnotdeadyet

Tags: 8-bit art, Digital Art, using my skills for evil Summary: I learned pixel art yesterday, and today I am using it for evil. Notes: Clue into this screen to see these adorable and fun pixels that will definitely makes you wonder what 616 in-universe fanart and erotic games would take the form of.

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[RBB Art] All Dolled Up and Nowhere To Be by isomer (isozyme) and phoenixmetaphor @isozyme @phoenixmetaphor

Tags: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Crossdressing Summary: Tony cleans up nice. Notes: So many lovely pieces in this, with great details on the lingerie and expressions and makeup. Time to admire them all!

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stars glued to our thighs by starvels

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Established Relationship, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Control, Overstimulation, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Tony Stark's Red Thong of Justice, Body Worship, Light Masochism, Nipple Play, Trans Character, Trans Steve Rogers, Trans Tony Stark, Domestic Fluff, Banter, Tony Stark's Workshop Summary: Steve’s been out of town for a few weeks, doing the superhero thing. To welcome Steve back home properly, Tony clears some space for Steve to slide right into. Notes: Blares those Trans4Trans Tit4Tit Tat4Tat and Wink4Wonk HonkHonks in this cozey, bantering established relationship piece.

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how he got here by Areiton @areiton

Tags: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Soft Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, POV Steve Rogers, Fluff and Smut, Domestic Fluff Summary: Tony had said, “Do you know how pretty you look, when you’re stuffed full of my cock, Steven?” Notes: A sumptuous scene of Ults S/T lingering in each other, craving more and more from each other and actually allowing themselves to have it.

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Bruised Fruit Bleeds Sweeter by ghosthan @ghosthan

Tags: Civil War, Mildly Dubious Consent, Under-negotiated Kink, Light BDSM, Extremis, Avengers Disassembled, Canon Compliant, Civil War: Casualties of War, Implied/Referenced, Child Abuse, Not A Fix-It, Angst, Bittersweet Summary: Steve and Tony meet privately to talk. It would figure that Steve’s idea of compromise amounts to Steve giving nothing, and Tony losing everything. (Or, talking turns into fighting, and fighting turns into fucking.) Notes: Gritty and grimy under your nails, rucking up desire and regret and all the things that should have been, right in the remains of the things that were.

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fine as cream gravy by starvels

Tags: Marvel 1872, Established Relationship, Casual Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, Original Male Character(s), Sexual Experimentation, Oral Sex, Deepthroating, Cock Worship, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Open Relationships, Multiple Partners, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bisexual Steve Rogers, the complexity and simplicity of being gay in the marvel wild west, an illustrious cocksucker steve rogers agenda, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Summary: Tony’s an old hat at sucking cock. Steve himself ain’t nowhere near as talented. But luckily, Tony seems to enjoy both giving Steve tips on how to suck proper, and bringing amenable fellers home to give Steve plenty of opportunities to practice honing his craft. Steve likes to think of it as a solid goshdarn win for everyone involved. Notes: A dirty little ditty about the depth and breadth of Steve Rogers' love for deepthroating and his continuing efforts to explore strange new cocks, which we obvs all support whole-throatedly.

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Laid Low [the Fall Backwards Remix] by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes) @hollyandvice

Tags: Original Male Character(s), Gangbang, Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking, Anal Sex, Spanking, Face-Sitting, Gags, Miscommunication, Getting Together Summary: Steve doesn't expect Tony's enthusiastic support when he offers up the idea. Not that he was expecting ridicule, but this is much more than he could have anticipated. Notes: An alt POV remix piece that lays out sensation and motivation neatly like spice shakers laid out in a tasty, tasty row. Gobble one smackerel after another.

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That’s all folks!

Thanks for reading and make sure to kudos and comments the fics you explore! Fandom is a circle and we are all passing it forward. ��

[cto10121]

how is jk rowling closer to dickens than donna tartt?

Rowling, like Dickens, is supremely devoted to social realism, which includes comedy, satire, and commentary. So naturally she also uses his techniques (significant character names, child POV with adult sensibility, etc.) and sometimes even tropes (abused orphan boy, mean relatives, relative and abject poverty, snobbery and classism, etc.). This is most glaringly apparent in the Strike series, to the point where they are more like sociological tomes than mysteries, but Harry Potter also fits the Dickensian mode very comfortably.

The difference is that Dickens was not really a mystery writer, whereas Rowling is, at least in plot. Also, Dickens had a much more visceral experience with poverty and institutional injustice than Rowling; there is a lack of that both-sides centrism in Dickens. He was also more influenced by Shakespearean psychology and tropes than Rowling. Rowling, however, was much more aware of white supremacy than Dickens could ever be—her understanding of class struggle includes colorism (Voldemort and some of the Death Eaters especially are aristocratically coded to the extreme - all those Anglo-Norman names! Revealingly, none of them are POC).

As for Donna Tartt, from the two (very popular) books I’ve read by her, she only uses Dickensian tropes for quasi-mythic and romantic journeys; they are largely empty of their political and social commentary, almost serving as mere literary allusions. Above all, she seems mostly concerned with the power of art, literary or otherwise.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/14/2024

googled "sample bon mot" in a fit of desperation, considered asking chatgpt to generate me some for 0.2 seconds before the visceral BLEUGH reaction plus remembered that every query is like pouring a 16oz water bottle out on the ground, and figured this series of events would be a better intro than anything else i could come up with

listening

miya folick's Pet Body was off last week's spotify rec playlist. i had liked some individual songs by miya folick (singer/songwriter/alt/indie/dance/electronica) but now i gotta really dive into her discography-- this particular very peppy and upbeat song with dire lyrics is really clicking with me lately as my body overreacts to texas pollen and engages in other known misbehaviors.

the chorus, my god

Proper care and feeding for my pet body

and this verse

I'm just a brain with a pet body Out for a walk until I croak I'm just an ordinary subject In an ordinary book

as my mother used to say, i'm real fuckin sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

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reading

ough i need to vacuum. i picked up Mrs Vargas and the Dead Naturalist by Kathleen Alcalá for a dollar last summer bc 0) killer title 1) it was a dollar 2) cool cover 3) autographed 4) endorsed by le guin.

kind of fascinating as an object: weird little lesbian (?) boutique press that's still around, idk ive ever seen a notice about steps they took to ensure the longevity of the physical book before?

i find myself bouncing off latin and south american magical realism a lot bc i am not in those authors’ intended audiences/i do not have the background to fully appreciate them. i have a bachelors of science. and that’s fine bc that’s the point! this is one of the very few times post-college where i caught myself thinking “man i gotta find a class to take about this”.

even if i do not understand the wider cultural context or the real-life figures she obliquely references in many of these short stories (i am convinced the bird-voiced singer is based on a real singer), i do appreciate alcalá’s craft: true short stories, she makes her point and then ends it. the twist in Reading the Road specifically— woof that’s gonna stick with me for a bit. a perfect little o henry twist of the knife. i wanted so badly to link this specific short story but apparently nobody has used it to teach anything and the book itself is not widely available/on the internet archive/etc. u will have to find this story of a roadside fortune teller (who is current on all her business permits) and one day's fortune telling, by yourself perhaps through your library

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watching

the prisoner, the seventeen episode british sixties tv cult classic. let's yoink the description from wikipedia.

The Prisoner is a British television series created by Patrick McGoohan, with possible contributions from George Markstein.[2] McGoohan portrays Number Six, an unnamed British intelligence agent who is abducted and imprisoned in a mysterious coastal village after resigning from his position.[3] The allegorical plotlines of the series contain elements of science fiction, psychological drama, and spy fiction.

number six shares a lot of traits with my cat philip marlowe, as they are both hell fucking bent on escaping and all attempts to restrain them just sort of train them to be better at the next attempt? as one might expect from a heavily allegorical sixties show, kind of heavy emotional going so im watching an episode every day or two.

why am i watching this? it's free on my library streaming service (and tubi), and i don't have a lot going on. i love one-season cancelled shows, i love Dad Media, unfortunately i was a navy brat and i do love some cloak and dagger shit. i LOOOOVE a fucked up little town and bureaucracy-as-cudgel. i actually came across this when i wishlisted the game We Happy Few back in 2018, another entry in the "creepy little british towns" genre. have yet to play it

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playing

the cosmology and general backstory of genshin is convoluted as hell (The Gods are real and live in the sky, but some lowercase-g gods are also rulers of the seven nations in-game) but they have been foreshadowing a grand showdown since the very beginning of the game. one player character cannot de- or re-stablize so many regions and engage in so many power struggles without someone taking notice.

i did NOT, however, expect one of the regional god-rulers (purple) to start planning for this divine war in a side cutscene in a seasonal event. a seasonal event around rock n roll rhythm games. absolutely devastated i missed the pink fox lady's rerun right after i had to give my work laptop back and before i got the PC fixed. this game will not run on my iphone 12 for love or money

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making

bit of a depression hovel situation going on. we are slowly rolling that back tho. finally met my landlord during the HVAC replacement debacle, he said that he bought this apartment in 2009, lived here for ten years, and then his parents lived here for a couple years. i am the first non-family tenant, i think. all of the appliances and fixtures are from 2009. i think the fridge will be the next to go. ANYWAY. i asked him what the deal was with the lack of bathroom vents and HE said when he had an air conditioner put in in 2009 the HVAC guy then assured him he only needed the HVAC vents and closed up the actual vents. which is a load of shit. i am not really excited to live here for another year but i really super can't afford to move and finding an apartment in houston the first time was such a goddamn nightmare. i cannot do three years tho. hopefully something will have changed by august 2025.

i have also, through a special cashback bonus reward on my credit card, a sale, a gift card, and cashing in more cashback money, acquired a cat tree for philip. modeled here by mackie bc we did room swapping again as i was writing this. i cannot be bothered to install curtain tiebacks or properly fold anything, as you can see below