#repressed reality

[horaitos]

unpopular opinion apparently but I don’t think it would be very hard for anybody disconnected and sheltered enough to be light yagami. look at the comments under any video detailing a violent crime - child molestation, sexual abuse, brutal murder, etc. it’s literally vigilante logic. light was just seventeen and grew up around constant news broadcasts dictating that kind of thing (and probably online if his quick knowledge of the kira cult means anything - he’s probably been on forums like that before). like yeah sure, light’s dad was a cop and he was heading down that route anyway, but he was also a kid. a kid who had the chance to change.

[seance]

STEDE BONNET / BURN IT DOWN by Daughter

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)

but the moments like this get to me

Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.

And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."

i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.

he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.

(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)

a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes

everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.

childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.

he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)

[azultecnicolor]

How is there an overlap between Disco Elysium and Conclave enjoyers and why am i one of them

[ibrithir-was-here]

Is there a word for when you're reading or listening to something, and suddenly it starts reminding you of the last time you read/listened to it, but its tied in with a bunch of really vauge, really weird memories you'd totally forgotten about? That feel more like you're remembering a dream but there's just this strong sense of attachment to the current activity, but the events/topics of the half memories feel really disconnected to the activity?

And then you just feel a little bit unreal/unsure of reality for a moment?

Is this anything? Am I losing my mind? 😅😬

[nando161mando]

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"

What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕

[philosophybits]

What expression has in common with repression is that its movement is blocked by reality. That movement, and the whole complex of experience of which it is a part, is denied direct communication with its object. [...] Each successful expression of the subject, one might say, is a small victory over the play of forces in its own psychology. The pathos of art is bound up with the fact that precisely by withdrawing into imagination it renders the superior power of reality its due, and yet does not resign itself to adaptation, does not prolong external violence in internal deformation. Those who accomplish this, have without exception to pay dearly for it as individuals, left helplessly behind by their expression, which has outstripped their psychology.

Theodor W. Adorno, Minima Moralia, 136

[cartoonnerdygoat]

I'm so sorry to anyone following my blog. I got into a youtube series about personified political ideologies and there will be nothing else I'm capable of thinking about for the next few days.

I'm shipping political ideologies now. Send help.

[gravesung]

in my fuckign Feelings about both geto AND yuji this fine afternoon folks

[neonpigeons]

I really wish I had a better relationship with my parents. I wish they had been more patient and cared more about what was going on with me. and that I hadn't been told time and time again to keep bad things to myself

[nando161mando]

[sparrownnax]

god i should really write a Rufus-centric fic. i am rotating him in my brain at Mach Fuck but i've yet to verbalise any of it

[dirgeforworms]

My friend: You have such a FASCINATING sexual history what is UP with you??

Me, who has not been intimate with another person in like.... six+ years and is currently going so insane due to lack of intimacy as an allosexual that she owns an "illegal in Texas" amount of sex toys, mostly themed around bugs and body horror, and the sight of a man's arm can send her into a horny tizzy: THINGS!!!

[melien]

[windrunner]

my derangement

not even projecting too hard i just think both of them are like this fr

^^^ my evil and horrible guygals (heart emojis flying around my head) ^^