#virus reviews

[danganronpa2]

i constantly want to reference this exchange in casual conversation but its from a random google review of a local mail & shipping business so nobody knows what im talking about

[knowyourbmovieactors]

OCTOBER HORROR MOVIES 2024 (DVD EDITION) #20 28 WEEKS LATER

The original 28 Days Later was one of those shocks that no one saw coming. Directed by Danny Boyle (known at the time mostly for pitch black comedies like Trainspotting) on a tiny budget and starring a bunch of nobodies like Naomie Harris, Christopher Eccleston and Cillian Murphy, it was a huge surprise hit in 2002 that almost singlehandedly revived the the cinematic zombie genre. For a good decade and a half previous to this, the horror film industry had been all in on vampires. Zombies were old, stale and slow; but Boyle gave the world something it hadn't seen before: fast-moving, screaming, virus-created zombies. OK, sure, George Romero himself already did that back in the '70s with The Crazies, but hardly anyone remembers that movie, and Danny Boyle is a really great director who brought a ton of seriousness, style, and substance to the story and put zombie horror back on everyone's minds.

And that's why the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead happened (complete with fast-moving, screaming zombies), which launched the movie career of Zack Snyder, which culminated in a series of dreary DC universe movies that the most obnoxious bros on the internet screamed about until the production company caved and actually gave them the mythical "Snyder Cut" of a dumb, bad, and bloated movie, that only made it more dumb, bad and bloated, but also signaled to all the toxic fanboys in the world that you can actually bully a multi-billion dollar film company into doing anything you want as long as you pour enough righteous anger into the internet, which is why almost every piece of legacy media is now covered in a goopy dribble of fan service that continues to drown out any actual merit or originality that might be left in it. Yes, that's all ultimately Danny Boyle's fault.

But, hey, at least 28 Days Later was really good. So, here's the obligatory sequel to the surprise hit, not even directed by Danny Boyle, and it's probably a mess, right?

Surprise! It's also good! Director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, in his first English language film, so faithfully recreates the look and feel of the original film (from the washed out color grading, to the handheld camera work, to the frenetic editing, to all of the quiet, tense moments that actually make the big action sequences feel overwhelming) that it's hard to believe that this isn't a bunch of footage that was shot at the same time as the original. However, it's not fan service. There's not a single character from the first movie here. We're just dropping back into the same world we previously saw and telling a new story in it. Now we've flashed forward in the Rage virus pandemic, when all of the original infected have died from starvation and exposure. People are beginning to trickle back into the devastated London, including a family whose mother supposedly died in the outbreak and whose father is desperately trying to forget how he ran away at the moment his wife needed him most.

Just as in original movie, the director deliberately tried to cast actors who were not already household names. Of course, today you know names like Idris Elba and Jeremy Renner and maybe even Imogen Poots, but in 2007 Elba was just moving on from a decade of doing forgettable one-offs on TV shows, Renner had yet to have his breakout role in The Hurt Locker and Poots was an 18-year-old who had only been in one movie before. The biggest star at the time was probably Robert Carlyle, who had been in both The Full Monty and Trainspotting (and who, by the way, turned down the part in 28 Days Later that went to Christopher Eccleston).

Carlyle is great, both as the shame-filled father trying to put a life back together for his kids, and (once he is infected) as the raging murder monster stalking them in the streets. There's something very particular in the way he plays being one of the infected, as if he still has some flicker of recognition of his family, even if he can't control what he's doing. Imogen Poots is fine, being still basically a child actor. Idris Elba is in a totally forgettable role, cast mainly because he looks good in a military uniform and can speak with a decent American accent. And Jeremy Renner is, as always, a Jeremy Renner type. His role in this movie--a disillusioned US sniper who refuses to shoot uninfected civilians and goes AWOL to protect them--basically serves as his audition for The Hurt Locker.

Like 28 Days, 28 Weeks is working on a couple different levels. On a broad level, of course, it's a study in how humanity reacts to overwhelming tragedy; but on the individual level, it's about some survivors of the tragedy having to come to terms with the fact that they did not rise heroically to the challenge that it brought. Also, if you were a functional, cognizant adult in the 2000s, it's not hard to see the intense critique of the US military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. In the film, a UN coalition force (which mainly seems to be made up of US troops) is occupying the now destroyed Britain and taking a stab at nation building in an overly-confident, almost arrogant way; and when things go wrong, they just start dropping bombs. Does any of that sound familiar? It's hard to watch as the military brass in the film panics and orders their soldiers to just start firing at everyone, infected and non-infected alike, and not think about how badly America bungled its two most recent wars in real life.

The only mark against 28 Weeks Later is that it couldn't just come out of nowhere with a surprise punch like 28 Days Later did. It had expectations, and even though it met those expectations, it's hard to top a true classic. So, stay tuned for when 28 Years Later comes out next year! May it once again meet expectations.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE DVD EXTRAS

-It's actually a little bit untrue to say that Danny Boyle didn't direct. While he did decline the director's chair here because of his previous commitment to direct Sunshine, he was on set A LOT to advise Fresnadillo. So much so that he ended up taking over the 2nd unit and directing it until he got so into his work that he seriously injured his shoulder. From what I saw in the special features, this wasn't some ego-driven thing on the part of Boyle. The guy just really fucking loves his job.

-Rather than casting regular extras, the production hired a small army of trained dancers, acrobats, and mimes to play the infected and treated scenes with them more like choreography than mere blocking. They are WAY into it. Some members of the regular cast talk about how genuinely terrifying they were on set.

-In his interviews, Jeremy Renner acts like an adorably enthusiastic dope who is absolutely blown away by everything about making a film. While watching him talk, I actually thought, "Aw, how cute, this 22-year-old kid just got to do his first big movie!" But then I looked up his bio, and, nope, Renner was 36 when this was made and had been acting in movies since 1995. Maybe Jeremy Renner just IS an adorably enthusiastic dope.

[nonbinarycharmybee]

team chaotix is so funny vector's really like "yeah i make sure this kid brushes his teeth and doesn't hurt himself playing with scissors and held his hand as he took his first steps and was there when he said his first word and tuck him in at eight pm almost every night. we're coworkers <3"

[alienjoyer]

these are the same to me

[trashland-llamas]

Rabid; A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus

[Review; 2.75 stars]

Y'know how when you read a fanfiction on AO3 and accidentally miss a tag? Yea, that's what reading this book felt like because I found out about it from a TikTok that pitched it as the history of rabies which yes, but also not really. 

It somehow made its focal topic not feel like the focal topic. In that it somehow got pushed to the side and frankly annoyed tf out of me. There was also barely any structure outside of the frowned upon 'in this essay, I will...' type. The chapters poorly established what they were meant to cover. To the point that I would ask myself multiple times ‘What is the point here? Why are you including this information? Relevance?’ while reading. Hell, my reading journal entry for this book is 3-4 lines per chapter, summarizing what they’re about. Most of the chapters were about how rabies has been portrayed in media and has been the origin of certain horror subgenres (werewolves, vampires, & zombies) but even that fell flat. 

If you are genuinely interested in the medical aspect of the history behind rabies, then all you need to read is chapters 5, 7, & 8. And can just skim the rest to find what little there was.

Furthermore, there were citations at the end of the book that weren't even done correctly. As in, they were just the link to the website. No website title, website publisher, date published, nor date accessed. None of it. 

[Chpt summaries under the cut]

Chpt. 1 - mentions of rabies in Greek & Egyptian mythologies, earliest mentions in medical texts & attempted treatments, pets vs strays

Chpt. 2 - Middle Ages; Saint Hubert & deer iconography in Christianity, mentions of dogs in the Bible, how basilica established in Hubert's name treats rabies (la taille), how rabies & the Bubonic plague relate to one another + the origin of the words rabies & rabid

Chpt. 3 - Vampires & werewolves; how they could be folklore based off of/around rabies & how many cultures have folklore regarding wolves/dogs being representative of demons/possession + lycanthropy based witch-hunts & the 1st literary mentions of vampires

Chpt. 4 - Colonial America; Benjamin Rush & Mease & how the theory of spontaneous rabies in dogs halted progress + canicides, where people killed dogs en mass due to rabies-related fear

Chpt. 5 - Louis Pasteur & his work in microbiology; how his vaccine for anthrax led to him developing a vaccine for rabies. Also the scientific community established key characteristics of the virus

Chpt. 6 - the zoonotic epidemics of the early 1900s-1930s & the differing vampire stories they all inspired. How that then lead to the start of the zombie apocalypse subgenre in horror in the 1960s. Bats & rabies (1950s/60s) being recognized as a carry of the virus after decades of cattle herds in South America being decimated. The zoonotic origins of AIDS in the 1980s & how it diverged into xenophobia

Chpt. 7 - Jeanna Giese & Matthew Winkler case studies + the Milwaukee protocol & how some individuals could inherently have rabies antibodies in their system

Chpt. 8 - 2008 outbreak in Bali, a country that had been rabies free until that point and how they have went about dealing with it

^^Want to note with these summaries, that without including the citations at the end, all of these topics/subtopics are covered in 236 pages. Hardly any of them were covered with the depth needed to fully explore them. Most could be expanded upon if they removed a good chunk of fluff.

[nando161mando]

CPAC AUSTRALIA 2024

CPAC AUSTRALIA 2024

Reviewing all the good jokes and effortlessly charming people at CPAC Australia 2024, from my hidden bunker in Woke Mind Virus Apocalypse Australia.

---

thank you

/ tomtanuki

[ygoartreviews]

Doom Virus Dragon

I've always thought this card was so funny for the very specific reason of: Kaiba unlocks a cool dragon card and then just immediately gives it every disease. I mean look at this dragon. You can tell just by looking that it has at least one virus. The most obvious indication to me is the hyper exposed gums (this guy's gotta have the driest mouth ever), but there's also the scale texture that in some areas looks like growths and in others like pits, creating just an overall unsettling skin look. I think the lines in the wings add to the diseased theme too, so I'm disappointed that they were toned down to the point that they're barely noticeable for the actual card version. It's really weird that they decided to give him all kinds of definition in his neck and stomach in card form for some reason. Like, why did they do that??? The anime version is mostly just smooth purple skin there, so seeing all kinds of skintight muscle is so strange. The way this card is cropped at the bottom makes the position of his legs look so super awkward too. The choice to add lightning of all things in the background is odd, as it bears absolutely no relation to this dragon at all. The vines it uses to attack in the anime would've been a much better choice.

Rating: 6/10, my son Critias, who has every disease

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i dont know how ive only just processed this but its very interesting that a lot of reviews or analysis of media now have a qualifier of "this came out before/during/after 2020"

i imagine a lot of future retrospectives will have decently large sections about the influence of covid on the writing itself and/or readings of it, like a lot of stuff with ww2 or more recently 9/12

i have no point to this post really, but it does makes me wonder if there was like a similar effect after like the spanish flu pandemic.

[thecraggus]

Virus Shark (2021) Review

James Cameron made the Abyss. Mark Polonia has made the abysmal Virus Shark. #Review

[quatregats]

Well. All I will say about my sleep schedule right now. Is that I am not going to have jetlag when I get home at this rate

[appalachianapologies]

Ok SO I've got some fishes I would like to share from the aquarium we went to a couple weeks ago. First here is my very very favorite fish. I have no idea what it was, but if I was naming it, it would be "patchwork quilt fish" because it looks like somebody just jammed 3 fish together. (Also here's a clownfish.)

And then there's THIS nightmare horror from the deep which apepared to have one red mouth and like 6 white eyes. I couldn't get a very good picture of this monster but trust me, it looks like it's about to start sucking out your blood while hypnotizing you with its 6 white eyes.

I have a request for a MacGyverism (maybe gone wrong? in a whumpy way? or maybe just a fact?) related to your chemistry homework. (Ok I literally have no idea what type of chemistry you're studying maybe this is impossilble in which case just.... whatever Mac thing strikes you.)

that fish just went thrifting and is showing off its outfit!! and ofc The Horrors™️

prompts

“Shit, shit-”

“Hoss-”

“Uh-” Mac shakes his head, having momentarily forgotten that he had his earpiece in. “How much time can you buy me?”

“I got three bullets and six assholes. Probably not as much as you need.”

“Can you at least keep them occupied?”

“I’ll do my best,” Jack mutters back. “What’s goin’ on?”

Mac swallows, glad that Jack can’t see what he’s seeing. “The casing is starting to erode.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that whatever container Moore was keeping the virus in, he chose the wrong one.”

“Can you fix it?”

“Temporarily, sure.”

“Good enough for me.”

Mac gives a nod to himself. He needs chemicals, and very specific ones. If the container starts leaking, which it inevitably will, he needs it to leak into an acid. The only problem is that he won’t be able to keep the solution acidic for long enough. At best, it’ll take a hazmat team hours to arrive. 

Mac exhales, eyes running up and down the shelves of cleaning supplies. Too many of them are bases, but finally, his eyes settle on the vinegar.

Unfortunately, that’s only half the battle. Before he can use it for any type of temporary containment, he needs to create its conjugate base to keep the solution at the same pH.

“Water,” Mac mumbles.

“What’s that?”

“New plan. Let the rest of the guards do whatever they want. I need you to find me some water bottles.” Mac looks back down at the canister, now blistering and looking more than ready to burst. “And Jack?”

“Yep?”

“Do it fast.”

[dayspreceding]

The Thing (2011)

Spoiler Warning

Ok Near as I can tell, this movie is not very well liked by most people, and I can definitely understand why. I watched it a couple of nights ago and frankly I wasn’t taking notes, so we’re going off my memory here.

A lot of the complaints I’ve seen about this movie are about it relying on CGI over practical effects, which is a dumb thing to complain about in my opinion. If you want to be upset because the CGI wasn’t “good enough”, that’s one thing, but CGI and Practical effects are TOOLS, there are pros and cons to both, and if you can’t get a practical effects team to provide the quality you’re looking for, there’s nothing wrong with using CGI. That said, I really enjoyed the CGI in this prequel, though maybe they went a little overboard with the Thing’s abilities. In the prequel, literally moments after waking up, the creature is strong enough to LEAP through a ceiling, destroy it, and keep on moving. In the Russell Thing, the creature had a feeling of NEEDING to be stealthy because it was gathering strength, so a lot of the movie felt justified. In the prequel, its practically unstoppable in how strong it is, to the point that I kept asking myself why it didn’t just start attacking people outright. I have a theory about that, but I’ll get to it shortly, The Thing is frustratingly inconsistent, ranging from WILDLY short-sighted to near genius mastermind in its deception and behavior, and there’s never an explanation given for it. It lays traps, misdirects, and deceives effortlessly, but then seemingly gives up on all of that to try and kill someone for no reason, to the point where its VERY clear sometimes its attacking just because the PLOT demands something happen, even if it makes no sense. What comes to mind very specifically is the the helicopter scene, where it is comforting an injured person who in no way suspects him, and then LITERALLY the next second, attacks and destroys the chopper...for NO reason. It then goes on to mirror the pilot, Budget Russell, and spend the rest of the movie ACTIVELY hurting its own plans and efforts, before being surprise revealed to have been a creature the whole time. There’s no build up to this, the way Kate realizes this is never highlighted or discussed...it just...happens, because she needs to disappear in the snowfield near the ship. I like the movie...but it does have problems that could have easily been avoided with a few more writing changes. From what I’ve come to understand, this movie does suffer from some studio interference, but I don’t really know where this starts and ends, so its a meh quality movie for what feels like no reason. All of this though, does bring me to the ultimate reason I’m writing this. The creature itself. The Russell Thing is given no real explanation, very few details to really make it make sense in the context of the universe. Everything we see and hear about it ‘kinda’ makes sense, and that’s excellent for a horror monster.  Understanding things makes them less scary, which undercuts the movie, however...we do get some clues. It operates like a virus, corrupting on a cellular level.  It is actively trying to get out of the Antarctic, and doesn’t really seem to need to ‘eat’ in a way we would describe it. The prequel builds on these qualities, and it feels like it adds more information as well. In the prequel, the creature is actively trying to reach its ship, a seemingly undamaged, flightworthy vehicle that ‘crashed’ on earth over 100,000 years ago. That None of that makes sense. Why is the creature’s behavior so inconsistent? How did it crash without damaging its ship? Why does it entirely abandon the task of escaping to chase Kate when it could have just sent a part of itself out to get her? Why doesn’t Budget Russell (I genuinely can’t remember his name) just betray her when he’s saving her? The answer is obviously plot holes, but for the sake of brevity, lets follow this line of logic. All of our evidence points to a single idea for me, and that is that the creature ISN’T the alien that landed here. Its the virus that infected it. The creature being a virus, rather than the alien, makes a lot of sense and explains a LOT about the weird choices it makes. -Mutagenic properties that extend to corrupting even DNA -Erratic Behavior -Fear of Fire regardless of form -Compulsion to spread The only thing that’s inconsistent with this is how it actually performs the mimicry, with it sometimes incubating a clone inside of itself over a long period of time, to it seemingly changing people cell by cell over a RAPID period of time, but even that could be explained by the virus becoming familiar with human DNA and getting faster because of it. That also explains why it took so long to appear as a dog in the prequel, the original virus that infected the dog wasn’t accustomed to its DNA and needed longer to change. The reason the alien LANDED here on earth was most likely to avoid spreading the infection among its species. Earth at that time wouldn’t have had any intelligent life worth mentioning, so leaving an infection here wouldn’t have impacted any societies, and landing in the most remote possible location would only act as an extra layer of security. The alien tried to save its people as it was dying, and I’d argue that if we got to explore the ship, we’d probably see more of its kind, dead or transformed throughout the ship. So in conclusion, the alien rocks, humans are paranoid and foolish, and writers don’t work well with studios sticking their fingers in the pie.

[thechaoticreader]

And Then I Woke Up Review

Title: And Then I Woke Up

Author: Malcolm Devlin

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Reading Method: Audiobook

Genre(s): Horror | Dystopian | Science Fiction

Favourite Quote: "Maybe we’ll all have to get used to the uncertainty. Maybe that’s what frightens me. The way you can get used to anything if you’ve got nothing better to gravitate toward."

*Disclaimers: reviews are for READERS 🖤 and this is all my opinion and experience reading the book, if you disagree thats totally fine but please be respectful!*

Its probably obvious by the star rating but I absolutely ADORE this book! I'm not usually a fan of zombies but the way Malcolm Devlin handles them was so unique and impactful that I was hooked! It is probably one of my favourite novels of all time and it feels as though it was written specifically for me. Yes there were zombies (kinda?) but the real horror was in the human psyche and left me questioning my own sense of reality. A truly unique and beautifully written horror novel that will be living in my head rent free!

Read this if you like:

flowery, purple prose

cerebral horror

body horror

short books/novellas

zombies

viruses

commentary on social media/propaganda

1st person narrative

Trigger Warnings:

child death

obsessions (could be triggering to those with OCD)

familicide

gore

mental hospital setting

paranoia

self harm (one scene)

pandemic talk

mention of toxic parental relationships

gun violence

(thats all I can think of off the top of my head but please feel free to add more🖤)

I think this is an excellent example of a successful horror novel that is scary without using triggering subjects simply for shock value! And Then I Woke Up is proof that a story can be terrifying WITHOUT relying on random shocking/triggering scenes, objectifying language, racism, homophobia/transphobia, etc.

I also think that this would be a good pick if you're new to horror!

Lastly, I don't typically like audiobooks but Graham Mack did a fantastic job at bringing our MC to life without sounding cheesy and overacted (the Aussie accent definitely helps)!

And for the annotation girlies, I gotchu! I wish I had the physical copy because there were so many good lines and themes, I think ya'll would eat with this book! Plus we LOVE a pink cover!

[thepointofclicking]

Neo Tokyo: The Truth is a Virus #1 Comic Review

[yesterdanereviews]

Covid-21: Lethal Virus (2021)

Film review #591

Director: Daniel Hernández Torrado

SYNOPSIS: After a new strain of Covid turns most people into zombies, a biochemist is travelling to a laboratory to work on a cure when her convoy is attacked by zombies. She runs into a lone survivor, who begrudgingly accompanies her, and the two have to survive the harsh countryside overrun with zombies...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Covid-21: Lethal Virus is a 2021 zombie film. It is also (perhaps unsurprisingly) part of a host of covid-zombie movies that appeared around this time. The film revolves around a typical zombie plot (with a covid twist): the melting of polar ice has released an ancient super strain of covid that turns people into zombies. Following on from that statement which should never be uttered, we have the typical post-apocalypse world where the survivors have to avoid becoming undead themselves. Into this unoriginal setup we have a biochemist named Allyson, who is being escorted to a secret lab where she will be able to develop a cure. Unfortunately, her convoy is attacked by zombies, and because no one in this film has ever seen a zombie film before, the convoy is overrun and Allyson has to make it to the lab on her own. Well, until she runs into Scott, an angry loner who sort of accompanies her to argue all the way. The story consists mostly of this bickering and occasionally hacking away at some zombies, without any real direction or development. There's nothing original or interesting about this post-apocalyptic world, and it's all been done before in better films. The use of "covid" as part of the premise is irrelevant, as this "super strain" is only mentioned off-hand in dialogue once, and was probably only put in to promote the film.

The characters are all dull and unlikable: apart from Allyson and Scott and their distinct lack of any chemistry, there's also two random soldier guys who are walking through the woods too, whose little side-story has no real purpose other than to shove some more action scenes in, I suppose. But again, the lack of any originality makes it uninteresting. All of this is supplemented by some poor acting and flat deliveries, and there are points where the actors clearly mess up their lines. The little twist at the end doesn't really add much when the characters always feel disposable and without purpose anyway.

The production as a whole feels very unprofessional, with horrid, shaky, close-up shots that make it difficult to follow what is going on (and to avoid paying for backgrounds and sets), the colours are all dull and washed out, and the lighting is haphazard and nonsensical. I know you can't be too judgmental when it's an obvious low budget film, but there's still a lot more that could have been done with what they had. There's nothing to recommend Covid 21: Lethal Virus in any way: it's unoriginal, unprofessional, unstructured, and any enjoyment you might get out of it being a "bad" film is scuppered by it being just so incredibly dull. Avoid.

[agentnico]

Resident Evil: Death Island (2023) Review

Two Resident Evil projects in one year?? Well then, Capcom really is tickling my guilty pleasures recently. The Resident Evil 4 game remake was nothing short of stupendous and proved how game remakes/remasters should be handled (looking at you Rockstar Games). Now we have a new RE 3D anime release that follows the Infinite Darkness Netflix mini-series from a few years back. Hopefully a 2 for 2 for Capcom this year?...

Plot: D.S.O. agent Leon S. Kennedy is on a mission to rescue Dr. Antonio Taylor from kidnappers, when a mysterious woman thwarts his pursuit. Meanwhile, B.S.A.A. agent Chris Redfield is investigating a zombie outbreak in San Francisco, where the cause of the infection cannot be identified. The only thing the victims have in common is that they visited Alcatraz Island recently. Following that clue, Chris and his team head to the island, where a new horror awaits them.

So evidently the most significant selling point of Death Island is that it is the first proper time it teams up the five main recurring characters of the RE franchise - Chris, Jill, Claire, Rebecca, and everyone's favourite rookie cop Leon S. Kennedy (one must mention the S.). Yes, some of these characters paired up during the infamous Resident Evil 6 - though the less said about that game the better. Regardless, Death Island finally gives us the whole team united! See this as an Avengers-level team-up movie for the Resident Evil universe. In a nutshell, this is a big moment for RE fans around the world. So Capcom better not do a Marvel Phase 4 & 5 and betray their fans' trust, right??

Resident Evil: Death Island seems like a missed opportunity. It had all the pieces that could have come together to create something truly special, however, instead the final result is a bit lazy. Don't get me wrong, if you're a fan of Resident Evil, and to be fair if you are not a fan of RE then neither this movie nor review should be interesting to you as this really is a feature-length piece of fan service. As I was saying though, as an RE fan, there is plenty to enjoy. The zombies are gory and vile; the lickers are back being as horrible as ever - I am so glad I was not holding the controller this time. Seeing our heroes together was of course entertaining, with stand-outs being Jill and Leon. I don't believe we have ever seen Jill in this badass form. She kicks ass more so than she's ever done in the games, and then Leon as per usual throws around some absolutely hilarious quips and one-liners, reminding us all why he is one of the franchise's favourites. Also must give props to the animation. We've come such a far way since the first time around when we saw our pixelated heroes enter that forsaken mansion. The computer graphics are honestly really sharp and impressive, with the creature designs, and especially during the action sequences with the use of slow motion there is some serious ass-kicking on display.

That being said, Death Island is missing something very key - emotion. I say this fully aware that we love RE for the horror and the cheesiness of it all but with all our main heroes in one movie I sort of expected to care more than I did. The thing is, the animation style of Death Island is not really capable of accurately conveying real human emotion, so wherever we have the quiet moments when we are having a break from the action, the dialogue between the characters and a scene involving the main villain exposing his convoluted plan of destruction in a slow and tedious manner comes off as really dull. Also, the premise is ridiculously simple. Our heroes go to Alcatraz (some old-school Call of Duty: Black Ops - Zombies vibes going on there). They fight some monsters, kill the main monster in the end and Bob's your uncle. There's hardly anything else to it. Speaking of the final creature they battle - the heroes look cool fighting it and apparently pulling our rocket launchers (obviously) and weapons of mass destruction out of butt-fudge nowhere, but alright, I'll just assume the Merchant from Resident Evil 4 was hiding behind one of the crates selling them some rare things for a high price. However, the creature itself, though it looked cool, did not do anything? It hardly fought back, just spent most of the time moving around slowly and staring our heroes down. Why? Like this is Resident Evil for crying out loud, we want to see our heroes kick butt of course but we also want to see the monsters fight back and be massive and intimidating. But nope, this dude just slithers around a little and takes it like a pu**y.

So the verdict. Resident Evil: Death Island certainly has its moments of entertainment, and of course seeing these legacy characters team up is wonderful, however, the movie lacks energy. When the action is there is bloody good fun, but there are too many breaks in between where characters talk and it's no fun. And yes, the endlessly monologuing baddie is a bore and his motivations? My gosh, what a wuss.

Overall score: 5/10