#virtual exposure therapy

[upnowapp]

What is Driving Anxiety? Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments

Driving anxiety can significantly impact daily life, causing serious mental health challenges. Various factors, including past traumatic experiences, visual impairment, accidents, aging, and specific phobias, can trigger this anxiety. Symptoms range from physical manifestations like sweating and increased heart rate to psychological issues such as fear of driving and panic attacks.

Effective treatments include setting realistic goals, understanding your anxiety, practicing relaxation techniques, and seeking therapy. Hypnotherapy and virtual exposure therapy can also be beneficial in managing and overcoming driving anxiety.

For more information on the causes, symptoms, and treatments of driving anxiety, click here.

[dapperpea]

OP has some really good advice here. As someone with OCD--not moral OCD but another OCD--another couple of good options are:

- "Maybe, maybe not." OCD craves certainty; learning to be okay with uncertainty takes away OCD's power. Thought a "bad" thought? Maybe you did, or maybe it wasn't a bad thought. If it was, maybe that's an issue, or maybe it's not. Think people don't like you? It's a possibility, maybe they do, maybe they don't. Let's sit with that discomfort and anxiety for a moment and just let it exist, and let ourselves move through it, and then come out the other side once the wave of anxiety has lessened, and take note that anxiety doesn't mean truth and certainty isn't necessary. (Obviously choose smaller things to start with!)

- look up cognitive distortions and notice when they come into your own thinking. This is stuff like black and white thinking, magnification/minimization, disqualifying the positive, catastrophizing, etc. We all do these things all the time but they can feed into OCD and make it worse. Note when you have these thoughts, then hold yourself a little trial: what are concrete arguments that your thoughts is true, and that it's false? Then be the jury and judge which arguments are stronger.

These are very difficult to do, so if you choose to do them, please take baby steps. But they're so worth it. You got this. We got this. Step by step.

Every single day people on tumblr say "what if the shit moral OCD tells you was true and living by it was the only way to be a real progressive"

[hikercarl]

How to Overcome the Fear of Heights While Hiking

Discover practical tips for hiking with fear of heights. We'll guide you through overcoming acrophobia while enjoying scenic trails and outdoor adventures safely.

Hiking through beautiful landscapes is a joy for many. But for those with a fear of heights, or acrophobia, it can be scary. Don’t worry, with the right mindset and strategies, we can face our fears and enjoy the trails. Our fear of heights is a real phobia that’s tough to beat, but doable. It can make us anxious about steep paths, being high up, or losing our balance. By understanding our fear…

[dynamichealthinsights]

Exploring Exposure Therapy for Phobias and Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide

Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment widely recognized for its effectiveness in treating anxiety disorders and phobias. By gradually and systematically confronting feared stimuli in a controlled setting, exposure therapy enables individuals to diminish the intensity of their fear response over time. This treatment is based on well-established principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy…

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

MASTER POST OF PROSHIP RESOURCES!!! <3<3

this is just for links (bc i just have No Way of formatting this properly), so for more in-depth stuffs and credits, head to the google doc, or the carrd !! :3c

Fiction ≠ Reality

Violent media -

Does Media Violence Predict Societal Violence? It Depends on What You Look at and When

Video Game Violence Use Among “Vulnerable” Populations: The Impact of Violent Games on Delinquency and Bullying Among Children with Clinically Elevated Depression or Attention Deficit Symptoms

Extreme metal music and anger processing

On the Morality of Immoral Fiction: Reading Newgate Novels, 1830–1848

How gamers manage aggression: Situating skills in collaborative computer games

Examining desensitization using facial electromyography:Violent videogames, gender, and affective responding

'Bad' video game behavior increases players' moral sensitivity

Fiction and Morality: Investigating the Associations Between Reading Exposure, Empathy, Morality, and Moral Judgment

Comfortably Numb or Just Yet Another Movie? Media Violence Exposure Does Not Reduce Viewer Empathy for Victims of Real Violence Among Primarily Hispanic Viewers

Fantasy Crime: The Criminalisation of Fantasy Material Under Australia's Child Abuse Material Legislation

Being able to distinguish fiction from reality -

Effects of context on judgments concerning the reality status of novel entities

Children’s Causal Learning from Fiction: Assessing the Proximity Between Real and Fictional Worlds

Reality/Fiction Distinction and Fiction/Fiction Distinction during Sentence Comprehension

Reality = Relevance? Insights from Spontaneous Modulations of the Brain’s Default Network when Telling Apart Reality from Fiction

How does the brain tell the real from imagined?

Meeting George Bush versus Meeting Cinderella: The Neural Response When Telling Apart What is Real from What is Fictional in the Context of Our Reality

loli/shota/kodocon -

If I like lolicon, does it mean I’m a pedophile? A therapist’s view

Virtual Child Pornography, Human Trafficking and Japanese Law: Pop Culture, Harm and Legal Restrains

Lolicon: The Reality of ‘Virtual Child Pornography’ in Japan

Report: cartoon paedophilia harmless

‘The Lolicon Guy:’ Some Observations on Researching Unpopular Topics in Japan

Robot Ghosts And Wired Dreams Japanese Science Fiction From Origins To Anime [pg 227-228]

Australia's "child abuse material' legislation, internet regulation and the juridification of the imaginationjuridification of the imagination [pg 14-15]

Multiple Orientations as Animating Misdelivery: Theoretical Considerations on Sexuality Attracted to Nijigen (Two-Dimensional) Objects

Positive Impact on Mental Health

Art therapy -

The effectiveness of art therapy for anxiety in adults: A systematic review of randomised and non-randomised controlled trials

Efficacy of Art Therapy in Individuals With Personality Disorders Cluster B/C: A Randomized Controlled Trial

Effectiveness of Art Therapy With Adult Clients in 2018 - What Progress Has Been Made?

Benefits of Art Therapy in People Diagnosed With Personality Disorders: A Quantitative Survey

The Effectiveness of Art Therapy in the Treatment of Traumatized Adults: A Systematic Review on Art Therapy and Trauma

The clinical effectiveness and current practice of art therapy for trauma

Writing therapy -

Optimizing the perceived benefits and health outcomes of writing about traumatic life events

Expressive writing and post-traumatic stress disorder: Effects on trauma symptoms, mood states, and cortisol reactivity

Focused expressive writing as self-help for stress and trauma

Putting Stress into Words: The Impact of Writing on Physiological, Absentee, and Self-Reported Emotional Well-Being Measures

The writing cure: How expressive writing promotes health and emotional well-being

Effects of Writing About Traumatic Experiences: The Necessity for Narrative Structuring

Scriptotherapy: The effects of writing about traumatic events

Emotional and physical benefits of expressive writing

Emotional and Cognitive Processing in Sexual Assault Survivors' Narratives

Finding happiness in negative emotions: An experimental test of a novel expressive writing paradigm

An everyday activity as treatment for depression: The benefits of expressive writing for people diagnosed with major depressive disorder

Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process

Effects of expressive writing on sexual dysfunction, depression, and PTSD in women with a history of childhood sexual abuse: Results from a randomized clinical trial

Written Emotional Disclosure: Testing Whether Social Disclosure Matters

Written emotional disclosure: A controlled study of the benefits of expressive writing homework in outpatient psychotherapy

Misc -

Emotional disclosure about traumas and its relation to health: Effects of previous disclosure and trauma severity

Treating complex trauma in adolescents: A phase-based integrative approach for play therapists

Emotional expression and physical health: Revising traumatic memories or fostering self-regulation?

Disclosure of Sexual Victimization: The Effects of Pennebaker's Emotional Disclosure Paradigm on Physical and Psychological Distress

Kink/Porn/Fantasies

Sexual fantasies -

A Critical Microethnographic Examination of Power Exchange, Role Idenity and Agency with Black BDSM Practitioners

Women's Rape Fantasies: An Empirical Evaluation of the Major Explanations

History, culture and practice of puppy play

What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?

The Psychology of Kink: a Survey Study into the Relationships of Trauma and Attachment Style with BDSM Interests

Punishing Sexual Fantasy

Women's Erotic Rape Fantasies

Sexual Fantasy and Adult Attunement: Differentiating Preying from Playing

What Is So Appealing About Being Spanked, Flogged, Dominated, or Restrained? Answers from Practitioners of Sexual Masochism/Submission

Dark Fantasies, Part 1 - With Dr. Ian Kerner

Why Do Women Have Rape Fantasies

The 7 Most Common Sexual Fantasies and What to Do About Them

Sexual Fantasies

Pornography -

The Effects of Exposure to Virtual Child Pornography on Viewer Cognitions and Attitudes Toward Deviant Sexual Behavior

American Identities and Consumption of Japanese Homoerotica

The differentiation between consumers of hentai pornography and human pornography

Pornography Use and Holistic Sexual Functioning: A Systematic Review of Recent Research

Claiming Public Health Crisis to Regulate Sexual Outlets: A Critique of the State of Utah's Declaration on Pornography

Pornography and Sexual Dysfunction: Is There Any Relationship?

Reading and Living Yaoi: Male-Male Fantasy Narratives as Women's Sexual Subculture in Japan

Women's Consumption of Pornograpy: Pleasure, Contestation, and Empowerment

Pornography and Sexual Violence

The Sunny Side of Smut

Other -

Fantasy Sexual Material Use by People with Attractions to Children

Fictosexuality, Fictoromance, and Fictophilia: A Qualitative Study of Love and Desire for Fictional Characters

Exploring the Ownership of Child-Like Sex Dolls

Are Sex and Pornograpy Addiction Valid Disorders? Adding a Leisure Science Perspecive to the Sexological Critique

Littles: Affects and Aesthetics in Sexual Age-Play

An Exploratory Study of a New Kink Activity: "Pup Play"

Jaws Effect

The Jaws Effect: How movie narratives are used to influence policy responses to shark bites in Western Australia

The Shark Attacks That Were the Inspiration for Jaws

The Great White Hope (written by Peter Benchley, writer of Jaws)

The Jaws Myth [not a study BUT is an interesting read and provides some links to articles and studies]

Slenderman Stabbings

Out Came the Girls: Adolescent Girlhood, the Occult, and the Slender Man Phenomenon

Jury in Slender Man case finds Anissa Weier was mentally ill, will not go to prison

2nd teen in 'Slender Man' stabbing case to remain in institutional care for 40 years

Negative effects of online harassment

How stressful is online victimization? Effects of victim's personality and properties of the incident

Prevalence, Psychological Impact, and Coping of Cyberbully Victims Among College Students

Offline Consequences of Online Victimization

The Relative Importance of Online Victimization in Understanding Depression, Delinquency, and Substance Use

Internet trolling and everyday sadism: Parallel effects on pain perception and moral judgement

The MAD Model of Moral Contagion: The Role of Motivation, Attention, and Design in the Spread of Moralized Content Online

Morally Motivated Networked Harassment as Normative Reinforcement

When Online Harassment is Perceived as Justified

Violence on Reddit Support Forums Unique to r/NoFap

"It Makes Me, A Minor, Uncomfortable" Media and Morality in Anti-Shippers' Policing of Online Fandom

[reasonsforhope]

"Five people have gone into remission thanks to advancements in medicine — and a sixth patient may also now be free of HIV.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in HIV/AIDS prevention in recent years is the widespread use of PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis). 

This drug therapy, approved by the Federal Drug Administration in 2012, has been a key player in preventing HIV transmission through sex or injection drug use. Antiretroviral drugs, such as PrEP, also slow the replication of the virus and prevent it from progressing to AIDS.

Although PrEP has become a more accessible treatment for the virus, scientists have been hurriedly working towards cures for HIV for decades — and we’re finally seeing some results.

In February of this year, scientists in Germany confirmed a fifth-ever patient had been cured of HIV after receiving stem cell transplants that include genetic mutations that carry a resistance to HIV. 

But it looks like a sixth patient may soon be able to join this very exclusive club. 

The man, referred to as the “Geneva patient,” underwent a stem cell transplant after cancer treatment, though these cells did not include the HIV-resistant genetic mutation. 

Still, he went off antiretroviral therapy for HIV in November 2021, and his viral load remains undetectable. 

Instead, doctors are researching whether a drug called ruxolitinib may be partially responsible for his recovery. 

Ruxolitinib decreases inflammation associated with HIV by blocking two proteins, JAK1 and JAK2. This helps kill off “reservoir cells” that lay dormant in the body and have a potential to cause rebounds in patients with HIV.

Experts say the AIDS crisis can end by 2030 across the globe — as long as leaders prioritize this goal. 

A new report from UNAIDS shows a clear, optimistic path to ending the AIDS crisis. (This looks like a 90% reduction in cases by 2030.)

The organization’s report includes data and case studies that show that ending AIDS is a political and financial choice — and that governments that have prioritized a path towards progress are seeing extraordinary results.

By following the data, science, and evidence; tackling inequality; and ensuring sufficient and sustainable funding across communities, the global community could wipe out the AIDS pandemic by the end of the decade.

The report demonstrates that progress has been strongest in the countries and regions that have the most financial investments, like eastern and southern Africa, where new HIV infections have been reduced by 57% since 2010. 

Investments in treatments, education, and access to care have also led to a 58% reduction in new HIV infections among children from 2010 to 2022 — the lowest number since the 1980’s.

Plus, the number of people on antiretroviral treatment around the globe has risen from 7.7 million in 2010 to 29.8 million in 2022.

The moral of the story? This goal can be achieved, if world leaders put their minds — and wallets — to it. 

A region in Australia might be the first place in the world to reach the United Nations targets for ending HIV transmission. 

Researchers believe that the central district of Sydney, Australia is close to becoming the first locality in the world to reach the UN’s target for ending transmission of HIV. 

Specifically, new infections among gay men have fallen by 88% between 2010 and 2022. In fact, there were only 11 new HIV cases recorded in central Sydney last year, and almost all HIV-positive Australians are on antiretroviral drugs. 

... "These numbers show us that virtual elimination of HIV transmissions is possible. Now, we need to look closely at what has worked in Sydney, and adapt it for other cities and regions across Australia.”

Namibia is ahead of schedule in UN targets to end HIV/AIDS. 

Although the virus is still the leading cause of death in Namibia, the country is well on track to hit 95-95-95 UNAIDS targets before its 2030 deadline. 

In Namibia, 92% of people know their HIV status, 99% of people living with HIV are on treatment, and 94% of people living with HIV who are on treatment are virally suppressed.

In addition to these exciting statistics, new infections have plummeted. The estimated rate of new HIV infections in Namibia is five times lower than it was in 2002, according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.

These encouraging numbers are thanks to the investment and strategic response of PEPFAR, but also to the willingness of local governmental agencies and organizations to adhere to the UN’s Fast-Track approach.

Breakthroughs are being made in HIV vaccine therapies.

Long before we were all asking each other “Pfizer or Moderna?” about our COVID-19 vaccines, scientists have been researching the potential of mRNA vaccines in treating some of the world’s deadliest diseases — like HIV.

And with the success of our mainstream mRNA vaccines, an HIV inoculation remains a goal for researchers across the globe.

Last year, the National Institutes of Health launched a clinical trial of three mRNA vaccines for HIV, and similar studies are being conducted in Rwanda and South Africa, as well. 

CAR T-cell clinical trials are underway to potentially cure HIV.

This spring, UC Davis Health researchers have dosed the second participant in their clinical trial, which poses the use of CAR T-cell therapy as a potential cure for HIV.

The study involves taking a participant’s own white blood cells (called T-cells), and modifying them so they can identify and target HIV cells, ultimately controlling the virus without medication. 

The first participant in the study was dosed with anti-HIV T-cells last August, and the trial is the first of its kind to utilize this technology to potentially treat HIV. 

Of course, the trials have a long way to go, and the lab is still preparing to dose a third participant for the study, but CAR T-cell treatments have been successful for lupus and forms of cancer in the past...

“So far, there have been no adverse events observed that were related to the treatment, and the two participants are doing fine.”

Guidance on how to reduce stigma and discrimination due to HIV/AIDS is reaching people around the globe.

While the stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS has significantly decreased — especially towards the LGBTQ+ community — with advancements in treatment and prevention, discrimination is certainly not gone. 

While most people now understand HIV/AIDS better than they did decades ago, those most impacted by the virus (like gay men and low-income women and children) still face ongoing barriers to care and economic security. 

It is vital to maintain awareness and education interventions. 

After all, experts suggest that eliminating discrimination and stigma are key factors in reducing disease.  And not eliminating stigma impedes HIV services, argues UNAIDS, “limiting access to and acceptance of prevention services, engagement in care, and adherence to antiretroviral therapy.” 

Luckily, UNAIDS provides guidance on how to reduce stigma and discrimination in the community, workplace, education, health care, justice, and emergency settings. 

The goal is to, of course, decrease stigma in order to decrease disease, but also to provide folks with the culturally significant support they need to live safe, integrated lives — with or without disease. 

For instance, a 2022 study conducted in Northern Uganda showed that local cultural knowledge passed through Elders was a successful intervention in reducing HIV-related stigma among young people.

“Research in school settings has shown that the use of local cultural stories, songs, myths, riddles, and proverbs increases resilient coping responses among students and strengthens positive and socially accepted morals and values,” the study’s discussion reads. 

So, while an uptick in acceptance gives us hope, it also gives us a directive: Keep telling the accurate, full, and human stories behind HIV/AIDS, and we’ll all be better for it. "

-via GoodGoodGood, August 3, 2023

[coyotecoining]

Hatsune Miku Personality Disorder (HMIPD)

Hatsune Miku Personality Disorder (HMIPD) is a medically unrecognized disorder characterized by an individual's extreme identification with the popular virtual singer, Hatsune Miku, in response to RAMCOA trauma. This disorder is marked by a pervasive pattern of behavior, cognition, and emotional experience that mirrors the characteristics of Hatsune Miku.

Diagnostic Features:

A. The individual exhibits a persistent and pervasive preoccupation with Hatsune Miku, manifesting in at least five of the following symptoms:

Vocal Style: The individual adopts a singing style identical to Hatsune Miku's, including tone, pitch, and cadence, even in everyday conversations.

Fashion Sense: The individual dresses in outfits inspired by Hatsune Miku's iconic turquoise twintails and Gothic-inspired attire, often incorporating similar accessories and hairstyles.

Vocal Range: The individual believes they possess a vocal range identical to Hatsune Miku's, often attempting to sing complex melodies and harmonies with ease.

Personality Traits: The individual displays an exaggerated sense of optimism, cheerfulness, and playfulness, mirroring Hatsune Miku's persona.

Lyrical Knowledge: The individual has an encyclopedic knowledge of Hatsune Miku's song lyrics, often reciting them verbatim and incorporating them into daily conversations.

Digital Obsession: The individual spends an inordinate amount of time engaging with digital media, including video games, anime, and virtual reality platforms, often to the detriment of social relationships and daily responsibilities.

Creative Expression: The individual expresses themselves through music, art, or writing, often creating content inspired by Hatsune Miku's style and themes.

B. The individual's behavior, cognition, and emotional experience are significantly influenced by their identification with Hatsune Miku, leading to significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning.

Associated Features:

Individuals with HMIPD may exhibit a strong desire for attention and admiration, often seeking to be the center of attention.

They may experience feelings of anxiety or inadequacy when unable to meet their own expectations or when others fail to recognize their "talent."

HMIPD individuals may engage in excessive online activities, such as streaming, gaming, or social media usage, to compensate for feelings of isolation or loneliness.

They may demonstrate a lack of emotional regulation, rapidly shifting between euphoria and despair in response to perceived criticisms or setbacks.

Treatment:

CBT Therapy

medication

subliminal messaging

hypnotherapy

image reassociation therapy

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy

DBT therapy

Humanistic therapy

online therapy

MUD evaluation therapy (you can find one if you know where to look)

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

art therapy

music therapy

12 step programs

dance therapy

trauma centers

cognitive processing therapy

RAMCOA survivor networks

Gestalt Therapy

past life regression therapy

Neurofeedback

Exposure therapy

hiking

isolation

relationship therapy

-------

uhh hi

idk what to put here

[yanphobia]

Athazagoraphobia - Chapter 2

Athazagoraphobia: The fear of forgetting, and being forgotten.

Pairing: Yandere Male Merman OC x Reader

Warnings (for the entire story): Yandere, Horror, Graphic Discriptions of Injury and Death, The Ocean, Body Horror, NonCon Touching, Dubcon, Female Reader, Extreme Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Chapter 1 Index Chapter 3

Author's Note: hi im alive again

This is fine, you’re doing fine. Nothing is wrong. 

If you kept telling yourself that, then maybe you’d start to believe it. The yacht was a decent size and very well decorated. It wasn’t even that far from the coast, only a few miles as it circled the bay for the evening, but despite acknowledging this, you felt like you were alone on a raft, stranded at sea. 

Refusing to look out the windows, let alone go outside on the deck, you shifted your focus onto the guests around you. Seeing everyone so happy and carefree eased your stress a bit. People from the school that you and Sammie attended, Sammie’s family, Jonah’s family... this helped you remember that you were not alone. All of you were here, tonight, to celebrate the engagement together. 

Although this took your mind off the fact that you were out on the water, it presented another fear – Sammie's engagement. You knew, in your heart, that this was her decision to make, but you also knew that she was making a horrible mistake. Jonah was a good man, true, but they were too young to take this step. It was too soon for Sammie’s life to change; you weren’t ready for her to leave you behi- 

“There you are!” There she was. “Why don’t you come outside? The moon is coming out!” 

“I don’t know, maybe in a little bit?” You offered, not trying to offend her. 

“[Y/N]…" she said in that disappointed tone that you hated so much. “Is everything alright? You seem kinda off.” 

“I’m fine!” you rushed to assure her, “I’m just a bit seasick.” 

“Are you sure? You’re more quiet than usual...” 

“Sammie, I-” 

You wanted to tell her everything. You wanted to say how little her exposure therapy had helped you, how much you opposed this marriage, how afraid you were. But, even as a deafening, screeching sound reverberated through the yacht, you weren’t sure that you could. 

It seemed like no time at all before the lights began flickering, and the guests began whipping their heads back in forth in utter confusion. And then... there was the panic. As the yacht jerked to the side, all the guests began to realize that a terrible accident had occurred. The lights had cut out entirely, and the yacht was rocking violently from side to side. It was apparent to everyone - the boat was sinking. 

“Sammie!” 

You stared into her eyes, now wide as dinner plates as she realized the situation. You were miles away from the shore, and with a free bar, it was virtually impossible for anyone to swim to safety. 

“They have lifeboats!” You tried to calm her, “They have measures in place-” 

Another rock, and people began screaming.  

As the staff began rushing to contain everyone, you began to hear a familiar humming sound. Oh God, no. You felt numb as your hands began to shake.   “No, no...” you murmured, trying desperately to get ahold of yourself. “This isn’t real, it’s all in your head... Sammie...” 

You turned to her in an attempt to find something that could ground you, but as you saw the blank, distant look on her face, you could tell that she could hear it as well. The sound was coming from outside, just beyond the deck. Then she started to follow it. 

“Sammie! No...!”  

You weren’t quite sure what happened next, in all honesty. Everything was a blur, and yet time seemed to crawl by. Between the chaos of the sinking ship, your incoming panic, and your attempts to stop Sammie from leaving, you suddenly found yourself outside, grasping onto the rails of the deck with one hand and Sammie’s arm In the other. 

The rocking had only grown more intense as did the sound. You could no longer lie to yourself that you were just imagining things, and your head began to feel light as you were forced to accept that there was something in the water below you. You struggled to stay standing as the yacht sunk down and the waves began crashing into you. There was a man calling out to you, and you were unsure if he was a guest or staff member.  

Something crashed into the side of the yacht, causing it to rock violently. You used the momentum to roughly shove Sammie towards the man. Doing this caused you to lose your balance, and another sharp rock launched you backwards towards the balcony. You grabbed onto it for dear life, but your hands slipped off the wet rails and you were quickly tossed over the side. You were dead silent, in shock, as you plummeted into the dark waters below. 

---

Dying. You were dying. 

You had to be; it was the only way to explain this feeling. Despite how hard you had tried throughout the years to prevent it, you were now experiencing your worst possible fear – drowning alone, forgotten, in the ruthless sea. You flailed your limbs reflexively, gracelessly, in hopes of pulling yourself back to the surface. You screamed; the water too dark to see anything with your bulging eyes as it forced its way down your throat and into your lungs. Your mind was racing, all of your regrets at the forefront of it. How could it all end this way? You had such potential, so many things that you wanted to do and experience – how could you die so soon, so pitifully?! 

You could barely register the freezing water, or the hard ocean floor you laid on, as you felt your body being torn apart, unable to accept that you were being eaten alive. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could feel your legs being broken, the salt of the water stinging the open wounds as your delicate flesh had been ripped off. Your skin split where your ribs were torn apart, your spine feeling as though it were being pulled from your body. Your eyes, your hands, your teeth – everything burned in the worst way possible.  

Above, everyone scattered around in pure chaos, but below the surface the silence was deafening. Here it was just you and your attacker. You felt your lungs shift one final time, and you could’ve sworn that you heard yourself screaming loud and clear before your consciousness slipped away. 

[ryin-silverfish]

JTTW Discord Summer Contest Entry: South Seas Sojourn

AO3 Mirror

-In collaboration with the amazing @ejaysstuff, who did the art!

-I'd say "This is mostly me nerding out about folklore", except that sums up all my recent one-shots.

-An LMK fanfic about Wukong going on a vacation, set between S3 and S4. 

---

"I'm going on a vacation!"

Before anyone in the noodle shop could let out a groan or a cry of "Again?!", Sun Wukong immediately added, "And you are coming too, MK. I ain't leaving my disciple out of the fun, not after, well, everything."

"But it's okay to leave me out of the fun?" Mei sulked, as she tried to make the tea inside her cup rise up, yet only created a little ripple. 

"Hey, I'm not the one who signed you up for that internship at your uncle's place." Sun Wukong said. "But maybe we can drop by once we are done! Take a break from the heat in the cool air of the North Sea."

"Yeah, the nice, cool, sub-zero-degree air of the arctic zone..." Mei sighed. "Don't wanna beat on that dead horse, but I'm so, so sick of icy stuff."

"Aw, bummers. Guess you won't be a fan of my new tea recipe, then." Sandy poked his head out from inside the kitchen. MK could hear ice cubes clinking inside a glass, and so did Mei, since she perked up within seconds and looked like she was on the verge of backflipping over the counter.

"Sandy, Sandy my man, I'll never not be a fan of your tea recipe!" 

"Uh, where are we even going?" MK asked, in between the sound of icy lemon tea being slurped through a twisty straw. "Don't get me wrong, I'm super duper up to it! But Mr. Tang had been complaining non-stop on MeChat about Pigsy's decision to drag him to Chang'e's virtual concert during summer break, where every major tourist spot is packed with kids. I hope we are going somewhere...quieter, that's all."

"Oh, no worries. It won't be deserted, but it ain't gonna be nearly as crowded." Sun Wukong paused, striking a pose. "We are going to the South Seas, bud!"

"...Where?" MK and Mei asked in unison, drowning out Sandy's faint "Wait, like, Guanyin's place?".

"Out south. In the oceans. Duh." 

"That explains nothi——"

"And no, my big blue friend, I won't be knocking on her doors at Potaloka unless someone needs saving! She's gonna be real busy in the next few weeks anyways." Sun Wukong continued. "For you less geographically gifted kids: it's where Lion City and Betel City are. Ring any bells?"

Mei made an "Oooo" noise. "You mean the place with the mermaid lion? Man, I was so disappointed when I found out it wasn't a real critter working for the South Sea Dragons." 

"I still have no idea what you are talking about!" 

"Ah well, MK, you'll be finding out soon enough." Sun Wukong said. "So go give your Dadsy a holler, and start packing up! We'll be leaving next week or the week after that, depending on when Nezha gets off work." A pause. "Yeah, he's coming too."

...

"We aren't really going on a vacation, are we?" MK asked, as he dragged his luggage up the creaky wooden walkway near the Megapolis harbor beach. 

Dangit, who knew that mosquito repellent and sunscreen could weigh so much? (Tang and Pigsy were very adamant about the importance of taking enough of these, once they heard the news over MeChat.)

"What makes you think that?" Sun Wukong replied, swishing his tail at the daring seagulls who kept trying to peck it. 

"Well, last time you said you were going on a vacation, you weren't really telling the truth." MK let out a nervous chuckle. "And Nezha's coming too. I don't know him all that well, but he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who'll, uh, join in on the fun just because?"

"Yeah. Sorry again, MK," he sighed. "But you are half-right. It's not a complete vacation, and more of a vacation-slash-summer school, slash-free exposure therapy..."

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing!" Sun Wukong exclaimed cheerfully. "Basically, you are gonna learn how to be a god, MK."

"I——WHAT?!"

"Relax, bud! It's not as serious as you think." A pause. "How do I put it...hmm, it's like being a hero, but more down-to-earth. Where, instead of people asking you to save them from big bad demons, they are asking you to solve their personal problems."

"Like?"

"Win lottery tickets. And discipline their kids for them."

"Speak for yourself."  

A familiar voice echoed through the evening air. The next second, in a blaze of pink fire, the Third Lotus Prince was standing tall on his wheels, his sash flowing in the wind. 

"Oooh, what did I just hear? Good ol' Brother Nezha, Electro-Techno Third Prince, The Other God You Go To For Lottery Tickets, acting all uppity and serious!" Sun Wukong stuck his tongue out at the new arrival. "Nice entrance, by the way. Very flashy." 

"You know very well I don't answer every desperate addict who doesn't know when to quit, nor do I play games of chance for fun! I play them to win!" Nezha retorted. "Also, thanks for the compliment, Great Sage."

"You are welcome, Laodi."

"Are we really going on a vacation to...help people gamble?" MK nervously raised a hand. "Isn't that, like, against the law?"

"Goodness, what have you been telling your disciple before my arrival? No, what have you left out?" Nezha groaned. "Well, since your mentor clearly hasn't explained our goals properly, I suppose I'll have to substitute for him. Again."

"Hey! Professor Sun is getting to it, Teaching Assistant Nezha——"

"In the next week, we shall be visiting and staying in multiple cities of the South Seas. Now that my true body isn't guarding the Samadhi Fire, I can finally start answering the more tricky prayers," Nezha sighed, "Which will only continue to pile up, since the Seventh Month is imminent."

"Seventh Month?" MK asked, reaching into his pocket with one hand. "But it's August the third already! Lemme check the calendar again..."

"Lunar Seventh Month. Also known as the Ghost Month." Nezha shot a look at Sun Wukong, his expression a mix between annoyance and slight concern. "Someone has picked a great time and place to take his student on a trip."

"What could I say? It sure is less depressing than Qingming nowadays. And they won't fine you for burning paper effigies in the South Seas, or so I've heard!"

"I…no matter." Nezha's look softened a bit, but not by much. "Back to what I was saying. Once the gates of the Underworld open, all the spirits will come out, go visit their families, enjoy the offerings as much as they can under the watch of Dashi Ye, Lady Guanyin's ghostly manifestation."

"We'll be assisting him, much like my brother and all the local gods. Keeping order, giving directions, and all that. In between these shifts, I’ll finally get to perform my duties in my actual physical body instead of the youthful manifestations mortals expect to see, and your mentor is free to monkey around with you and his worshippers at his own temples. All clear?"

"So we are gonna be, like, tour guides and security, but for dead people?" MK asked. "That doesn't…sound too bad, actually! Also, you have a brother, Nezha?"

"No, I pop out of a rock, just like your master." Nezha said flatly, then added, "Goodness, I wish. Muzha can be a bit much, but he's a lot more bearable while on the job, so no worries."

"Someone's getting jealous again, I see," Sun Wukong reached over to pat him on the head, and received an annoyed glare. "Oh, and don't let Nezha's sour attitude fool you, MK. We are still on a vacation, it ain't gonna be all work and no play! And the work won't start until several days later, so we'll have plenty of time."

…

This didn't seem like a great start for our vacation, MK thought. 

Okay, it did, for about three minutes, after they got off the somersault cloud. 

The palm trees were swaying in the wind, the two-story buildings with red-tiled roofs were glowing under the tropical sun, and Nezha reluctantly glamoured a lotus-patterned T-shirt and some baggy pants over his armor after rejecting Sun Wukong's more outlandish suggestions ("You should totally change your wheels into flaming flip-flops!"). Not a single dangerous, vacation-ruining, world-destroying threat in sight.

Then a giant rain cloud appeared out of nowhere, driving most of the crowd indoors and leaving the unfortunate ones seeking shelter under the nearest rooftops and bus stations. 

Not that it helped much——MK felt like he was standing behind the waterfall at Flower Fruit Mountain again, as raindrops slammed into the ground with a fury and created splashes of watery mists.

"Okay, Nezha, Did you anger the local dragons again?" Sun Wukong asked, holding the monkey-hair-turned-umbrella over MK's head.

"Nonsense! Not even the East Sea ones hold a grudge for this long, and I've never seen a South Sea dragon other than their king," Nezha said, then added, "and my brother's co-worker. Are you sure you have a temple nearby?"

"Eh, maybe. I saw a bunch of faith beacons up there, all clustered together." Sun Wukong shrugged. "Some of these have to be mine."

"Have to be yours? Oh, that's rich, coming from someone who hasn't visited the South Seas in person since the 19th century——"

"And they still love me, bud. Deal with it."

"Um, what's a faith beacon?" MK wiped the water droplets off his phone screen with one thumb, trying and failing to steer his luggage away from the puddles. "I'm not seeing any on CloudMap."

"Well, you won't, unless you are a patron god of IT workers or some other technology-related stuff!" Sun Wukong said. "How do I put it, hmmm…after people have prayed to you for a while, offered enough incense, you can just sense the places they are doing it at. Usually, it looks like a beam or a glowy aura, but some gods can smell or hear it too."

"Wow, that's so cool! It's like a mystical VR goggle. Is it something you can learn, though?"

"Look, I'm glad that you are doing your job as a mentor, but can we please get some actual directions?" Nezha sighed. "Temples here aren't always their own separate buildings. I've been summoned inside too many HDB flats to count, and you won't know that by looking at the beacons alone."

"We are heading in that direction right now. It'll get clearer once I get closer to the place. So be patient, will ya'?"

"Well, isn't that just the most reassuring answer I've ever heard. 'We'll get there when we get there'." Nezha muttered, as the group took a turn into a narrow side street, ducking below the swaying lanterns and multilingual shop signs. "Just so you know, if the rain doesn't stop and we don't get there in two hours, I'm dragging both of you onto a bus and to my temple instead."

"Why, you three sound like you are lost! Need a tour guide?"

Abruptly, a high-pitched, child-like voice resounded through the torrential rain, coming out of the alleyway to their left. MK turned to look at the speaker—

—and stared straight into the lifeless glowing eyes of a chalk-faced monstrosity, its red tongue hanging out of its mouth.

With a scream, his staff was out, and in a split second, connected with the thing's head and sent it flying into the nearest wall. It slid off the yellowed concrete, landed with a splash, then went completely still. 

A spiderweb crack was spreading across its porcelain mask——Oh goodness, it's a puppet, which was somehow even worse.

"Ah. The answer is 'No', it seems."

He nearly extended the staff and hit the puppet again when it spoke, had Sun Wukong not dashed forth and, in one swift motion, dragged a pale specter out of it by the robe collar.

"Glad to see you again, Xiao Xie!" He grinned in a rather dangerous way, like what Mr. Tang said non-intelligent monkeys really meant when they bore their teeth. "Is there any particular reason why you are jumpscaring my student in broad daylight, or do you just have nothing better to do?"

"Yes, because this one knows it will happen!" The specter, still in Sun Wukong's grip, said in a cheerfully oblivious voice. “The vision caught this one by surprise too. It's not every day that you see the Great Sage's golden staff approaching your face at lethal speed, especially when you have done nothing to offend him. Good thing this one did not come in his contractor's body!"

Behind them, Nezha let out a groan. "Oh joy, it's these two clowns again."

"W-W-What the heck just happened?! And what's THAT?" MK pointed at the specter. Outside of that creepy puppet, it just looked like a lanky, unnaturally pale youth in an oversized mandarin jacket and a tall hat.

Before Nezha could answer, another sullen voice cut him off.

"You knew you'd get smacked in the face if you came, so naturally, you possessed the creepiest vessel you could find and headed straight in this direction." The air suddenly got a lot colder. "I don't need precognition to know you deserve to be smacked at this point."

The water in a nearby puddle rippled. Okay, technically, it never stopped rippling because of the rain, but this one was a lot bigger, as if something was about to crawl out.

MK took a step back. Seconds later, the murky water turned inky black, rising up into the air and coalescing into the form of a short, stern-faced kid, wearing the same clothings as the pale specter, except they were all black-colored.

"Darn right, Lao—" Sun Wukong paused, as he turned and took a closer look at the newcomer. "Xiao Fan? Huh, didn't expect to see this you here. Not that I'm complaining."

"I'm absolutely complaining." The kid replied. "Our main souls have been attending one meeting after another at Fengdu since the Ivory Lady Incident, which is why I'm currently on," He shot a pointed look at his ghostly companion, "babysitting duty. You gonna smack him or not? Cause I won't mind if you do, Great Sage."

"Aww, really, Xiao Fan? You, of all people, should know that everything this one sees will happen, even if he doesn't know how or why. Since trying to avoid a future is the best way to unknowingly make it come true, this one can only try to soften the impacts and minimize the risks."

"By making sure you would, one-hundred-percent, get hit in the face by someone?" Fan snorted. "Way to go, brother."

"By making sure that staff wasn't slamming into this one's soul, or a flesh-and-blood vessel!" Xie replied. "And the mission is a success! Only a single puppet is harmed."

Nezha threw his hands up in the air. "How did you manage to be even more annoying and nonsensical than your main soul?"

"Welcome to my fucking un-life." Fan mumbled.

"Um, hello?" MK waved awkwardly. "Have you guys suddenly started speaking in some sort of secret code mid-conversation, cause I don't understand a single word you just said."

"Gosh! Sorry, bud," Sun Wukong finally let go of Xie's collars (now that MK thought about it, how did you even grab a ghost's collars? Mystic Monkey Magic at play again?) "Get a bit carried away there."

He pointed at the two specters. "Meet the Heibai Wuchang. The ghost cops, or rather, parts of them. Remember your hair clones? Xiao Xie and Xiao Fan here are kinda like that, but with their souls."

"T-The ghost cops?" MK squirmed. The downpour had become a light drizzle, but he still felt chilly, and it wasn't because his T-shirt sleeves and socks were now soaked. "Like…the ones you see when you are about to die?"

"Don't worry, bud! They aren't here to take any of us away. I think." Sun Wukong narrowed his eyes slightly, "and even if they were, I'd like to see them try."

"Nah. Not a chance. This one still values his un-life—"

"Yeah? Then apologizing to my student and stop wandering around in that thing will be a good start!"

"—so yes, he is very sorry for the distress he caused, young one. The 'wandering around in possessed objects' part, though, is perfectly legal, and this one still has to take the puppet back to his temple, so sorry, no can do."

"You have a temple now?" Sun Wukong let out a chuckle of disbelief. "You two?"

"You really haven't been around here in a while, have you, Great Sage?" Nezha said. "Yes, unfortunately. It's a new South Seas trend, and I hope it stays where it is."

"Our main altar here is still inside the City God's temple. But there are more temples dedicated to us alone, across the strait." Fan said. "And I'm obligated to inform you that all deities who visit the South Seas in their true bodies instead of using clones or astral projections must notify the local City God's temple beforehand, or submit the relevant paperwork immediately after arrival."

"Hmm, and if I don't?" Sun Wukong raised an eyebrow. "What are you gonna do?"

"Other than following you around and staring at you judgmentally? Nothing substantial." Fan said, before sighing deeply. "But if you can at least pretend to respect us and not treat Underworld officials like the complete pushovers we are, we'd really appreciate it."

Sun Wukong hollered at that. "Y'know what? I think I'll do just that, since this you are a lot cuter and not a raging jerk!"

"You know my main soul can hear you, right?"

"Exactly." Sun Wukong grinned. Unlike a few minutes ago, it was a lot less tense. "So lead the way, Xiao Fan!"

…

When MK heard the whole…ghost temple thing, he was expecting skeletons, eerie lighting, spooky stuff.

Okay, some of the statues and puppets were still creepy. Same for the possessions. 

Sure, the ghost cops had explained that they had human "contractors" who'd let them possess their bodies willingly, after signing a lengthy form where all the risks and duties are spelled out clearly.

But when he thought of possessions, the only images that came to mind was LBD's host, shaking like she was in the middle of winter again despite sitting inside the safe, cozy confines of Pigsy's Noodles. And Sun Wukong's golden eyes glowing frost blue, devoid of all warmth and emotions.

Well, better get used to it now. Gonna see a lot more ghosts once the…summer school part of the vacation-slash-summer school starts.

MK took a deep breath and began to make his way back through the corridors, a small incense burner in hand. The exterior of the temple was dated and slightly out of place, sitting beneath towering skyscrapers and surrounded by neatly trimmed park lawn.

Past the main hall and the altar room behind it, however, the place could be mistaken for any modern office building. Or the background of a Monkey Cop episode, except the cops were all ghosts and the monkey was filling in the divine equivalent of a customs form.

"There, done." Sun Wukong said, putting the pen down, "Right in the nick of time! For real, though, couldn't you ghosts just burn the paperwork together with the rest of the effigies?"

"And get them stuck beneath a mountain of sports cars, or whatever insane vehicles people decide to send to their ancestors nowadays? No thanks." 

As he handed the incense burner over to Sun Wukong, who crumpled the form into a ball and tossed it inside, MK caught a glimpse of a dark blue aura, enveloping the handle of the back door before it opened on its own. Two more uniformed ghosts hovered in, telekinetically carrying multiple pitched paper objects.

"Speak of the devil…" Fan turned towards his partner, who was leaning leisurely against a wall. "This year's bunch are already coming in, and if you bothered working with a contractor today, you better put that physical body to good use and start helping!"

"Alright, alright, This one hears you." Xie yawned, then walked over and grabbed the floating effigies. "Hmmm, no helicopters or private jets this year? That's a bit disappointing."

"Well, Mr. Chow sent a pretty big table, boss. We don't think it's gonna fit through the backdoor, so we left it in the park pavilion."

"Excuse me?" MK perked up. At last, a chance to do something instead of just standing there and watching awkwardly. "Do you need something resized? Cause I have just the power for that!"

…

"Y'know, I was wondering what's so special about a table," Sun Wukong poked his head out from behind the door frame, trying very hard to suppress the giggles, "or why they'd make a live-sized one in the first place. Now I get it." 

"Kudos for dedication, I guess?" MK shrugged. "I'm sure their loved ones would, uh, appreciate the gift down there."

With a snap of his fingers, the paper Mahjong table returned to its original size, drastically reducing the remaining space inside the storage room. 

Yeah, the "craft" part of "Arts & Crafts" wasn't really his strong suit, but a piece this detailed and lovingly crafted? It probably took weeks to make. And cost more than an actual Mahjong table.

"Are you two done admiring the beauty of that absurd object? Can we please leave and go somewhere else now?" Nezha's muffled complaint came from the corridors. “It's raining outside again, and if we don't hurry——"

"Even if you do hurry, this one doubts you will be able to get any further than the bus stop, in the two minutes it shall take for the drizzle to become a downpour once more." Xie said, then tossed the last stack of golden joss paper into the storage room.

"Great! Wonderful! Yeah, I'm just looking forward to spending more time with you and your clowns-in-training." Nezha snarked. "How will we ever get anywhere in life without your nifty short-term prophecies?"

"Hey hey, Nezha, chill out. A dash of salt is good n' all, but you are getting spicy over there." Sun Wukong said. "But, speaking of ways to pass the time during a rainy day…"

There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he turned to look at Xie. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Judging by what this one just saw? Yes."

"Great! Come here, bud, I have something that will make our stay a lot less boring."

Sun Wukong beckoned MK over, back into the big guest room, then pulled out a tuft of hair. Seconds later, an actual Mahjong table landed squarely on the floor with a thud, complete with chairs and Mahjong sets, followed by an "Ohoho, lovely!" and two simultaneous shouts.

"Seriously? Don't set a bad example for your student!"

"Don't you dare corrupt our guests, Xiao Xie!"

"Please, this one is just joining in on the fun. Our guests have no problem 'corrupting' themselves, so to speak!"

"Oh, c'mon, it's not gambling if you aren't betting actual money!” Sun Wukong exclaimed. "It's like poker, but…for old people. Right, MK?"

"Um, one problem: I don't know how to play Mahjong! Or poker!" MK said, scratching his head. "The only card game I know is Uno."

"Great! You can just learn it on the fly, then, under the watchful eyes of Professor Sun and Teaching Assistant Nezha!"

"No way, Great Sage. I'm not helping you lure your student astray into a potential lifetime of wasted hours and petty vices."

"Really?" Sun Wukong flashed a taunting smile. "I bet you only said that 'cause you don't wanna lose too badly to me. Again."

"Oh, you take that back right now, monkey!" Nezha jabbed a finger at him. "If we were back in the old days and in a gambling house, you'd be going home in nothing but your undershirt and breeches by the end of the day!"

MK did not miss the implication that, at some point in the past, these two had indeed been to an actual gambling house.

"A bold challenge if I've ever heard one!" Sun Wukong's grin widened. "Or is your bark worse than your bite? Brag all you like, but the only way to prove it is to get on the table yourself."

"I——Screw this, I'm in," Nezha took a deep breath, “But only because it will be quite satisfying, kicking the collective behinds of the two most annoying gods I've ever met." A glare at Sun Wukong, then, at Xie. "So. Get. Ready."

"That's the Third Prince I know!" Sun Wukong gave him a thumbs-up. "Bring it on, lad!"

MK gulped. "Yeah, sorry, I think I'm just gonna watch you guys play first. Get a feel of the game before jumping in. Is that alright?"

"No prob. Though this did put us in the most classic bind in the entire history of Mahjong…" Sun Wukong paused dramatically. "The 'Short of a Fourth' problem."

"That won't be me." Fan immediately said, before walking through the nearest wall. "Still have a job to do." He turned, poking his head out of the wall once more. "But by all means, teach Xiao Xie a lesson for me."

"Ah well." Sun Wukong shrugged, reaching towards his head. "Guess this calls for my clone——"

"No!" Nezha smacked his hand away. "That's just blatant cheating!"

"But literal future vision isn't?"

"Hey, it's not like this one can turn it off." Xie protested. He looked like he wanted to say something else, before Sun Wukong stood up, dashing out of the door and towards the altar room. 

"Guys! We are one person short of a Mahjong game here!" A pause. "Niang Niang? Ah Pek? Datuk? Hello? Anyone up to it?"

"...What's he doing?"

"The divine equivalent of spamming telephone calls." Nezha rolled his eyes. "Yelling into the ears of every deity's idol he can find, and hoping for a response."

"For your knowledge, we have a three-people variant of the game here," Xie added, unhelpfully.

…

Way after Sun Wukong had returned, sulking a little but soon jumped right into arguing with Nezha, MK heard a chime. 

Like someone had just dropped a bunch of coins onto a marble floor, but…louder. Okay, he wasn't too sure about that last part, because if the others heard it too, they did not react to the noise at all.

"It's still not gambling! Just a way to keep the score, yanno?" Sun Wukong continued, tossing a tangerine back and forth between his hands——one he probably pinched from a random altar table on his way back. "Also, the game will be pretty boring if you aren't winning something."

"That's the very definition of gambling." Nezha said, with a deadpan expression. "Wagering money or other stakes in a game of chance."

"It's only a stake if it's something of value, and outside of sentimental ones, these offerings have none." Sun Wukong turned to Xie. "Otherwise you won't give them away to folks for free before they spoil, right?"

"Indeed, for we've already eaten them." 

MK squinted at the fruit; not a single bite mark or patch of peeled skin was found on its exterior.

"Ewww." Sun Wukong grimaced. "Anyways, that just makes them even less valuable and further proves my point."

"Is that supposed to be convincing? Because I'm not taking home a bunch of ghost-eaten fruits even if you give them to me for free——"

"Greetings," someone cleared their throat, then said in a deep, magnetic voice, "Is it you who invited this Zhao to your humble temple for a game, friends?"

The door curtain jingled; in walked a dark-faced man with an impressively bushy beard, clad in gilded black armor and red-gold robes. The only thing that didn't make him as intimidating as he should was the black tiger cub, clinging onto his shoulder pauldron like an oversized housecat.

"Yep, Lao Zhao!" Sun Wukong cheered, "Didn't think you'd have the time, but here you are!" He winked at MK, "Now, ya' ever seen a God of Wealth statue in your Dadsy's store? If you did: this is your guy in the flesh, Zhao Gongming himself."

"Oh yeah! The statue," MK tried his best to recall something that looked like the man, yet the only thing that came to mind was the adorable and totally dissimilar one on the counter. "You mean he's..the cat?"

"Ha! I like your little disciple, Great Sage." Zhao Gongming laughed. "Sadly, no. The only feline here is my steed, Biandan Hua." He pointed to the tiger cub. "In her baby form, so I don't get animal control called on me again. Mortals these days are so easily startled, I swear."

"Aww, that's the cutest name I ever heard." Sun Wukong cooed, earning an unimpressed look from the tiger. "Anyways, since we have our fourth guy here, without further ado, let's begin——"

"A second. I'm here for business too. Serious business," he held up a hand. "Have any of you seen a golden scissor? It's about this size, but becomes a lot bigger when transformed," a gesture, "about the size of a city block. Ah, and it can turn into two flood dragons."

"Nope!"

"Hmm. This one doesn't think so."

"The Golden Dragon Shears?" Nezha’s eyes widened. "How did you lose *that*, Marshal Zhao?!"

"I didn't! It's probably my youngest sister again. Bixiao is still rummaging through our study, so I may as well check in the Lower Realms while she's at it." He said. "Make sure no one has 'borrowed' it without their permission."

"Why are y'all looking at me?" 

Awkward silence ensued, broken immediately by Sun Wukong's indignant huff.

"Okay, first, I'm insulted by your insinuations! You eat a few peaches, and suddenly you are THE suspect whenever something goes missing up there." He shook his head. "Second, you have sisters, Lao Zhao? Huh, never know that."

"Well, unless you are planning to have kids in the immediate future, Great Sage, your paths are unlikely to cross!" Zhao Gongming laughed, before resuming his frown. "Our scissors are far from the only missing treasure, though. Other palaces have also reported similar cases over the last hour. I'll just have to go shake down Spirit Official Ma again——wouldn't be the first time that little candlewick bugger tried to pin his thefts on someone else."

At the mention of Spirit Official Ma, Nezha mouthed something that sounded suspiciously like a swear word. Sun Wukong made a face. 

"Yeah, show that Huaguang brat who's boss! But before that, surely you still have time for a Mahjong game? It'll only be a minute up there." 

"Hmm, I suppose it won't hurt." Zhao Gongming replied, twirling his beard. "But with one condition: no one uses their godly powers."

"Define 'godly powers'?" 

"Anything that requires intent to activate." Zhao Gongming said. "Your golden vision, active divination instead of passive, uncontrollable foresights, my power over fortune..."

A sigh. "I've played enough games where that is allowed. With my disciples it always turns into a teaching session, and playing against my fellow gods of wealth feels more like a power-measuring contest than a true match of skills, especially when Bi Gan was involved." He shook his head. "For a scholarly god of wealth, the old man can be more competitive than us martial ones."

"I feel ya', Lao Zhao. It's always the old geezers who play dirty."

"Hello? Excuse me?" Nezha asked. "Am I the only one who's more concerned about the missing treasure of mass destruction than the silly Mahjong game?!"

"Yes, yes you are." Sun Wukong smirked. "It's just a tiny scissor! What mass destruction can it cause, other than to Art & Crafts materials?"

"Says the blissfully ignorant monkey who has never seen it in action," Nezha retorted, then lowered his head with a defeated look. "Whatever. I don't care anymore. Just don't mention me when the Celestial Host starts pointing fingers and your sisters come knocking, Marshal Zhao."

"You have my words, Third Prince." Zhao Gongming made a fist-and-palm salute, almost jokingly. "For I'm not one to tattle, even if it means enduring Yunxiao's scolding alone. Now, what are the stakes for this game?"

…

After a brief discussion, the four had settled on using some unopened and unoffered snacks as their stakes. Which still didn't beat the gambling allegations, according to Nezha. 

Well, it was better than betting all your belongings on a rigged game and losing them all, at least. And after watching a few rounds of their play, MK's only thought was Dang, if that goldfish demon chose this game back then, he wouldn't even need to cheat to wipe the floor with me.

"You know, if someone tells me I'll be watching the Great Sage, two celestial gods, and a ghost play Mahjong like old people at a community center during the first day of our vacation..." MK mumbled to himself, "I'll probably believe it, actually."

Despite having only the vaguest idea of the rules——whoever completed a set of certain tiles first won the game——and not getting any closer to understanding them, he was determined to keep watching. 

If only because Sun Wukong winked at him right before tossing the dice and starting the round, and he was pretty sure it meant "Watch and learn, bud!" in a way that suggested the message went beyond a simple Mahjong game.

"What you are seeing now is not a typical day for most of us, if that makes you feel less disillusioned." Fan said, without looking up from the documents he was flipping through. 

A while ago, the ghost had returned with a stack of them, and the papers were now floating around him in a ring, suspended by the dark blue glow of telekinesis. If that wasn't the most stylish way of doing paperworks, MK didn’t know what was.

"Uh, but I'm not?" MK said. "It's just…a lot less serious than I thought, this whole 'gods' business, and honestly, I'm not complaining! The Great Sage looks like he’s having a good time too."

Back on the table, Sun Wukong and Nezha yelled "Pong!" at the same time, then immediately glared at each other.

"Hey, I said that first!"

"That doesn’t matter, because you are cheating!" Nezha huffed. "It is impossible for two players to Pong at the same time unless someone has sneaked an extra tile in there while shuffling them, and we all know who that is."

"Well yeah, but I'm just evening the odds in a rigged game, Laodi." Sun Wukong said, eyeing Xie sharply. "For the sake of fairness, I'll allow you to cheat back too. How 'bout that?"

"Good grief, and I thought Master Taiyi was the most unabashed cheater I ever met on the table." Nezha took a deep breath and announced, "New battle objective: show the two cheaters who's boss, without lowering myself to their level."

"Well, this one can't blame the Great Sage for it. Two more turns, and he’ll claim the first win."

"Keep your visions to yourself, ghost!"

"Thanks a lot, Xiao Xie." Sun Wukong grinned. "That gives me even more reason to do it."

A few more turns, a few more clacks, and the monkey was left staring wordlessly at the table.

"Hey, what the heck! Your vision isn't right."

"This one's vision is always right. That, however, isn't one." Xie gave them an innocent look. "It's just the time-honored tactic of 'lying', friend."

"Serve you right for trusting him and cheating." Nezha snorted, before reaching out to claim the discarded tile.

"Why, ya' little——!"

"Credit where credit's due, that sure is a more entertaining use of precognition than the average Dipper Mansion chess game." Zhao Gongming commented, amidst the chaos. "I look forward to what you will bring to the table next, budding little wealth god."

"More bullshit, that's what he'll bring." Fan crossed his arms. "And he wonders why I don't play chess with him anymore."

"Well, I guess it could be worse." MK said. "They could be playing Monopoly."

"What's a Mono-poly?"

"A game that ruins friendships and turns family members against each other. Mei tried introducing her cousins to that during a New Year gathering." MK shuddered. "Some of them still won't talk to her."

"Sounds like it needs to be exorcized." Fan said, without a single hint that he was joking. 

"Please don't."

MK kind of got the impression that he was the "by-the-book" cop of their buddy cop pair, who sounded serious whether he meant it or not, but maybe the kiddy soul would take things just that literally.

Sadly, his clarification ended up killing the conversation. For the next few moments, they just sat side-by-side, listening to the clacking of Mahjong tiles.

And the clacking had intensified, as the game picked up speed. Sun Wukong in particular was speeding up into a blur, fidgeting in his chair, using only one hand to move the tiles while juggling the same poor tangerine with the other.

Now, he was always in motion, gesturing as he talked, grabbing something or the other wherever they went. But the fidgeting had intensified to a point well beyond what MK was used to, which was making him fidgety too.

After a loud "Would you please stop that?" from Nezha, MK finally mustered enough courage to half-prod at Fan——and immediately drew his hand back! Wow, ghosts are freezing to the touch. 

(Okay, he wasn't really touching anything solid, but it felt like reaching into a pocket of sub-zero-degree air, made even more jarring by the heat of summer.)

"Sorry sir, one question." MK asked. "I don't really have a good grip on the rules yet, but is the Great Sage in trouble now? Like, is he losing?"

"No idea. I'm not bored enough to watch and guess their sets." Fan said. "But if you are talking about his hyperactivity, that's not a result of panic."

"Then what’s he doing?"

"He's teaching you how to fight someone with precognition."

"By…acting like a wind-up toy?"

"On the surface level, yes." He answered. "How much do you know about divination?"

To pain. 

No, not that one. MK shook his head wildly. "Next to nothing, I guess."

"Good. You aren't losing out on much." Fan said, before frowning. "I'd rather know less about it, but Xiao Xie just has to be an insufferable prick, so here we are. Essentially, think of Fate like a game of cards, or Mahjong, or whatever game of chance of your liking."

MK chuckled. The idea of Fate being a Uno game was quite a funny one, not gonna lie, if only because he'd get to figuratively shout "Reverse!" at someone.

"The Way is the ruleset, what is allowed and not allowed to happen. The winning and losing conditions. The cards and tiles are the individual events and outcomes, happening to a being as they draw them, one by one."

"To the Dipper Mansion celestials in charge of Fate, divination is like having your master's golden eyes and fiery vision. They can see through the cards and tiles, know what's on them instinctively, and are thus banned from playing, only able to shuffle and deal them out on the Celestial Host's orders."

Zhao Gongming's tiger, having jumped off its master's shoulder long ago, pawed at Sun Wukong's twitching tail. This only egged the monkey on, as they promptly began a game of 'catch my tail if you can' off the table.

"For some," he looked at Nezha, his face a mask of intense concentration, "it isn't so much divination as making snap-second, highly accurate guesses, aided by superb memorization skills. To the more unfortunate mortals, however, it's like seeing recordings of multiple games playing side-by-side, with no way of knowing which one is theirs."

"Lucky for my sworn brother and almost no one else, he can see snippets of a single recording, which just happens to be ours." Fan said. "It's also random, very short-reaching, and makes the part of his soul that bears the brunt of it into a kooky brat with no self-preservation instincts. But I've complained enough. Now that you know how his precognition works, what will you do to counter it?"

"Does not playing the game count?"

"A wise choice. But suppose you don't get to choose."

"I, uh." Think, smartie kid, think! What is the relationship between ultra-hyperactive monkey behavior and beating a ghost with future vision on the Mahjong table? (Oh geez, it's like that one question about ravens and writing desks in that foreign children's book again…)

"I guess I'll make myself, well, unpredictable and even more random?" He finally said, hesitantly.

"Not very specific, but you get the gist of it." Fan nodded. "Going back to my analogy, your master knows his opponent is making a random draw too, except each card he draws allows him to see others claiming or discarding a certain tile."

"So he decides to add more useless cards into the pool. False maneuvers, feints," Fan pointed to the tiger, still pawing at Sun Wukong’s tail, "Artificially creating another game on the side to divert the visions. Nothing can be a hundred percent predictable, not even literal future vision, and if only my partner realized that, he'd be a lot less annoying and not on the way to getting absolutely destroyed in this game."

"Wow. That's very clever and all, but should you really be telling me this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know much about the Underworld, outside of how Monkey King wrecked the place and scribbled him and his monkeys' name off the Book of Life and Death——" MK waved nervously, "No hard feelings 'bout that, ey? But if the Great Sage is teaching me how to counter you guys, does that mean you'll be going after us at some point in the future?"

"Technically, we'll be going after everyone who isn't an immortal or formally ranked celestial, sooner or later." Fan said. "Your master is firmly in the first category, and for you, that won't be in a long, long time, if it eases your worries."

"Yeah, no. Not at all. Thanks."

"You don't like ghosts very much, do you." He said, then, before MK could reply, added, "Which is fine. We don't like ourselves either."

"Uhhhh, don't be?" Oh gosh, was there really a way to word this without offending ghosts more? "It's not like I dislike you guys! Like, you and the other ghost cops seem pretty chill. It's just, y'know, a bit freaky, seeing the walking reminder of my inevitable mortality and all, ahahaha…"

"It is. And I won't tell you what to feel about that." Fan held up a finger, and the documents he had been reading were instantly sorted into neat little stacks in midair. "But if there is one thing you remember from our conversation, let it be this: no game lasts forever."

"One has to end in order for another to begin, and a game where no one wins or loses is gonna be a very boring one. We, officials of the Ten Courts, are but the keepers of scores, and you don't have to win in order to have fun while it lasts."

"Hu le." Zhao Gongming's calm voice cut through the chit-chat, followed by a light thud of him pushing the tiles over. "Four Kongs."

All eyes were immediately on him.

"By Buddha, Lao Zhao! No wonder you've been so quiet."

"Ugh!" Nezha facepalmed. "I was so close!" He shot a half-hearted glare at Sun Wukong. "This is all your fault, by the way. Without the extra tiles you snuck in there, he'd have never gotten such a rare combination."

"C'mon, maybe he's just that lucky?"

"Very enlightening." Xie hummed, handing over the bag of peach-flavored chips to Zhao. "This one knows he won't be winning the first round, but its certainly a great start!"

"And this is why you don't gamble with a literal, formally ranked, celestial god of wealth." Fan said, after a long, stunned silence. "Even when he isn't actively using his influence, for fairness's sake."

"He's not?"

"If he did, he'd just win every round, and there wouldn't be a game to speak of."

…

They stopped playing when the rain stopped, at which point the sun had already disappeared below the horizon. Zhao Gongming left halfway after getting an astral call from his sisters, shaking his head, giving MK the chance to finally join in. 

Sun Wukong had stopped cheating after that——at least not as blatantly, if Nezha's words were to be believed. To MK, he just settled back into his old laid back attitude, which, in turn, made his own palms less sweaty as he faced off against the other two.

He still lost, badly, only barely managing a win at the very end. Not that it mattered, since Nezha had soundly kicked everyone's butts like he wanted, coming out at the top by a wide margin of three bags of chips and a single Tau Sar Piah.

"Let this be your lesson, Monkie Kid," he said, with a hint of childish glee, "That hard work, knowledge of statistics, and memorization skills will always triumph over luck and a bunch of cheating clowns."

"Ah well. I'll let you have your moment, Laodi, since it's pretty much the only fight you can win against me." Sun Wukong responded with a cheeky smile, then tore open his bag of chips and started munching loudly on them. 

"Yes, keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll actually start believing in it." Nezha smirked, before standing up from his chair. "I'll just be over here, basking in the glow of victory and trying to not run into my brother on the way back——"

As if on cue, a shout came from outside.

"GREETINGS! This Hui An pays his respect to the City God and his attendants!"

"Annnnnd there goes my good mood." Nezha muttered. A formation started glowing under his feet. "Goodbye. If anyone asks, I've never been here."

Almost immediately after he disappeared in a blaze of pink fire, the speaker outside with the loud, booming, megaphone-against-your-ears voice marched through the doorway.

"Oh. Hi there, Muzha."

"HI THERE, as the younger generation says these days!" The tall man replied cheerfully. The dangling green ties on his hair bun were swaying back and forth, as he made a bow. 

"Heard you yelling into Lady Guanyin's statue a while ago, Great Sage, so I decided to pay a visit. Is my brother here too? Longnü said she saw you two flying together, while weaving the storm clouds with her kins."

"Well, in Nezha's exact words, 'If anyone asks, I've never been here'." Sun Wukong shrugged.  "So no, he is not here." 

"Ah. Embarrassed, I see!" He exclaimed, making his way to the Mahjong table and staring down at the tiles. "He really shouldn't be, though. By my religious vows, I'm supposed to refrain from such worldly pass-times, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be preachy about it!"

Now MK was starting to have an idea of what "Too much" meant. Namely, his complete lack of volume control.

"Well, looks like I've dropped by at a rather inopportune time, so I won't keep you fellows any longer, Great Sage. Thanks for keeping my little brother company, though——"

His sight met MK's, and only then did Muzha seem to notice his presence. "And DEAR ME! Is that your new disciple I've heard so much about? A pleasure to meet you too, young one!"

He reached out for a handshake. MK made the mistake of taking it, and immediately winced. 

"Oww, owww——Nice to meet you too?!"

"Please stop crashing my disciple's hand, Muzha."

"Sorry, sorry!" He laughed, releasing his iron grip at last. "It's just so wonderful to see the juniors coming into their own, I get a bit carried away. Still, this acolyte looks forward to working with you in the days to come!"

"Man, we are busy here today, aren't we?" Xie commented, just as the overly cheerful and loud immortal made a turn and headed for the backdoor. "So many visitors. Not that this one is complaining."

"...Yeah." MK agreed, after awkwardly waving Muzha goodbye.

Well, one thing was certain: godhood internship or not, he'd sure have one hell of a story to tell once he got back home.

[painted-skye]

Obey Me Headcanon

So you know how Lucifer loves collecting cursed objects and listens to cursed records? What if he uses them as some sort of exposure therapy so overtime from being exposed to a number of curses he is virtually immune to them? (Like people using small amounts of snake venom until they are immune).

So thinking about this, what if he is immune to all the cursed Satan tries on him, but he pretends they are effective as he sees it as a good way to bond with his brother (/son?) And he loves seeing Satan improve on his curses each time?!

And then one day Satan tries a curse on him that completely knocks him off guard (maybe a new curse/one that Lucifer hasn't become immune to/is just too powerful for the immunity to work) and Lucifer just stands there secretly brimming with pride over the fact that his brother has gotten stronger 😭

[theereina]

🍁Welcome to Fall/Autumn🍁 | Part 2

We've all heard of seasonal depression, but did you know it is a real medical condition? The Cleveland Clinic states, "Seasonal depression, also called seasonal affective disorder (SAD), is a type of depression. It’s triggered by the change of seasons and most commonly begins in late fall. Symptoms include feelings of sadness, lack of energy, loss of interest in usual activities, oversleeping, and weight gain." Preparing for fall to prevent or alleviate seasonal depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), involves proactive steps to maintain your mental and emotional well-being as the days get shorter and the weather becomes colder.

Here are some strategies to help you prepare for fall and mitigate the symptoms of SAD:

Light Therapy: Consider investing in a light therapy box, also known as a lightbox. These devices mimic natural sunlight and can help alleviate the symptoms of SAD. Use the lightbox in the morning for about 20-30 minutes to regulate your circadian rhythm and boost your mood.

Maintain a Regular Schedule: Stick to a consistent daily routine, including regular wake-up and sleep times. This can help regulate your body's internal clock and improve your mood.

Get Outside: Make an effort to spend time outdoors, even on cloudy days. Exposure to natural light, even when it's overcast, can be beneficial. Take short walks during daylight hours or eat lunch outside if possible.

Exercise Regularly: Engaging in regular physical activity has been shown to be effective in combating depression. Find an indoor or outdoor exercise routine that you enjoy, such as yoga, dancing, or jogging.

Healthy Eating: Maintain a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Consider adding foods high in omega-3 fatty acids, like salmon or flaxseeds, which may have mood-boosting benefits.

Stay Social: Isolation can worsen symptoms of depression. Stay connected with friends and loved ones, even if it means meeting virtually. Plan social activities or join clubs or groups that align with your interests.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness or meditation techniques to reduce stress and increase self-awareness. Mindfulness can help you stay present and manage negative thought patterns.

Set Realistic Goals: Break your tasks and goals into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your achievements along the way to maintain a sense of accomplishment.

Therapy and Support: Consider therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which has been shown to be effective in treating SAD. A therapist can help you develop coping strategies and provide support during difficult times.

Medication: If your symptoms are severe or do not improve with other interventions, consult a healthcare professional about the possibility of medication to manage SAD symptoms.

Plan Fun Activities: Make a list of enjoyable fall activities and events you can look forward to, such as apple picking, pumpkin carving, or attending fall festivals.

Create a Cozy Environment: Make your living space warm and inviting. Decorate with soft blankets, warm colors, and items that make you feel comfortable and cozy.

Monitor Your Mood: Keep a mood journal to track your feelings and identify patterns. This can help you recognize when your symptoms worsen and when you might need extra support.

Stay Informed: Educate yourself about SAD and its symptoms. Knowing what to expect can help you take proactive steps to manage your mental health.

Consult a Healthcare Professional: If you suspect you have SAD or if your symptoms worsen, seek professional help. A healthcare provider can assess your condition and recommend appropriate treatment options.

Remember that everyone's experience with SAD is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to tailor your self-care and treatment plan to your individual needs. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from healthcare professionals or mental health experts if you're struggling with seasonal depression.

[klysanderelias]

head in my fucking hands. I'm 32 and I still have no idea what I have to do in order to get people to understand the words I say. This applies to a lot of things but today in specific I stopped by the vet office and I was like. my cat turns into a ball of hate every time I come in. I would like to bring him in and have the tech or vet come in for like 5 minutes so that he can get a little more used to the experience, but not have anyone mess with him. He hates the vet and part of that is because he gets held down and stuck with needles. Can we please do a little exposure therapy where he gets told he's a lovely young man and gets some wet food.

And when they called me back they were like 'have you considered trying to get him more adjusted to the carrier? we can give him more meds. there's a virtual pet behavior service you could try.'

It's like the IT problem where yeah, probably 90% of the calls you get CAN be solved by turning it off and on again. You can probably just mindlessly run down the script and get a reasonable solution for the average caller. But for the remaining 10%, you do actually have to use your brain. You do actually need to process the things you're being told.

it's just so disheartening to literally be standing there watching my words fly over someone's head in real time. I can't count the number of times I've seen someone's body language clearly indicate to me that they've stopped caring and they're just waiting for me to stop talking so that they can walk away.

I'm about to hit the point of like, making people repeat the gist of the conversation back to me at the end of it.

[funeralcryptid]

Hello, Funeral! How are you? Thank you for opening your free readings right when I need it the most.

I have a hard time coming up with the question, so I will elaborate on the context first. I feel like an adult with the mentality of a child. No matter how intelectual I am or the years of therapy I've gone through, no matter if people like me and respect me because of my nice personality (I know for sure I don't act out or behave childlike despite my mentality). However, I don't feel like I'm thriving in life at all. I haven't found financial stability at 28y/o and I'm tired of getting underpaid jobs where my talents and potential aren't appreciated. I don't mind still living with my family since we all are immigrants and paying rent separately seems virtually impossible by now, neither do I care if I have no husband since I choose love and a healthy relationship over convenience and a messy bond. But I'm not living the life I expected when I first thought of turning into an adult. I feel like it's 100% my responsibility. I get our current economy is a mess, but I am not the type to rely on the system for all my needs. I am a talented person who barely knows how to manage her gifs. I want to be independent and prosperous, but I feel so stagnant right now. I blame the bad habits I have from childhood like avoiding getting exposure, staying at home as much as I can, procrastinating and so on... I took the first step by opening up an online shop. I know I should be patience before it takes off and my life can get a better turn, but I feel like I should be doing more than this. I hate how slow-paced I am and I feel I'm struggling like a child. Sometimes I doubt my self-perception, maybe I am not the only one feeling this damn way and I am actually doing all in my power to cope. But again, I am tired of my ego boycotting me and I want to improve my lifestyle and habits. Do you have any advice for me, please?

I offer you a crystal jar scented candle. If you lean forward and smell it, you will get the scent of your favorite candy. PM, pronouns she/her

Thank you in advance<3

Welcome,

I understand what you mean. I started by asking my cards if you were childlike at all, and no, you definitely aren't. You are quite mature and know how to get things done, but you do this based on your emotions and your feelings. You don't seem to be the kind of person that makes big plans and actually follows through them. And that's okay, that's just not you. But I see you as a someone that having found a little corner, stays there comfortable even when you know you can do and acquire greater things in life. The first thing we have to recognize is that you have the ability to make change take place.

I believe the root of the problem is a mix of two things. You mentioned your family is an immigrant family, so I think I can see you have seen the people before you struggle until they reach the point where they are right now, but their journey seems never-ending. You've seen their journey, but you don't find inspiration in it because you see it from one point of view only. In a way, you don't want to end up like them and prefer to have the freedom to enjoy life and do the things that you find joyful and enjoyable. You do like playing around and having fun, and sometimes you can get caught up in the fun and the distraction that it can be, but the other part of you wants to honor the ancestors and be as capable as them.

I see that you're sort of hoarding a lot of things, feelings of powerlessness while you also hold onto the things that you find meaningful. I see that you're guarding your talent and gifts, you're allowing them to remain stagnant while you fall into a comfort zone that is in fact quite uncomfortable, even you are aware of this. Because of this, you're also holding onto the things that bring a certain comfort. You're scared that letting go of these things means you will lose part of yourself in the process, but I can tell you that it's not like that. You have to learn to let go of concerns, and you have to learn how to set your gifts free naturally in such a way that these become a source of joy. I do believe you're holding onto a certain childlike wonder, but this is not to call you childish. It just seems like inside you're scared of being an adult, or more like refusing to be the adult that you believe you have to be.

The cards tell you that it's okay to find a comfort zone, but it is indeed important to learnt to flourish out of it. Inside of you I see many beautiful things that are worth admiring, but you have to know that these things can't be appreciated or reach their potential inside of you. That's why the cards are calling you to action, to find your spirit and the inspiration that will drive it to direct your life in a way that serves a purpose.

What is your purpose? You don't need to know for now, you simply have to act out of desire. You have to act. To move. To do things. Even when you have no inspiration. Sometimes you find inspiration in the process itself. You must do things that highlight your spirit and passion. Things that make you feel not only yourself but things that make you feel like you're the most elevated version of you. You must be more forward and even hot headed it times call for it.

Last piece of advice, be assertive and fight those that approach you in a disingenuous way, trying to talk you into things or trying to tell you what is better for you. Cut through the bullshit. Let all the anger that you don't know have been repressing come out. Don't stand for anything else.

Know that you do things for yourself, and no one else will do it for you.

I hope you find this insightful xx

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Remember Me, Special Dreams - A Thank You

It is with profound, bittersweet pleasure that I can announce that I have completed the final chapter of Remember Me, Special Dreams. I am looking to post in the next few days once I have done my proof reading checks.

I’ll come clean with you, I’m really not ready to let this story go.

It all began mid-August 2022 while on a train back from Brighton. The Sandman had only just come out and I had very quickly become obsessed (thank you, Neil!), dedicating a lot of my spare brain power to thinking about it.

I started wondering about what I would say to Morpheus if I met him, particularly since I had been experiencing intense parasomnia hallucinations and night terrors at that time. It sparked an idea for a fanfiction.

The first sentence I wrote was the Daenerys Targaryen joke from chapter 3 and from there, I worked backwards to be able to facilitate this conversation. The rest, is what has played out in the 39k words that I have spent so much joyful time composing.

For the past 5 and a half months, I have lived and breathed this story.

The reader and Morpheus have constantly been in the back of my mind. I spoke their conversations out loud when I was alone. I researched the lore, pored over freeze frames from the series, soaking in every detail of the character's appearances and the locations.

When I began, I had no idea where I wanted the story to go. I just knew that I wanted to try something new by writing in reader self-insert style for the first time, and I wanted to write about Morpheus.

They say "write what you know", and dreams and nightmares and night terrors and parasomnia are things that I have a lot of memories of. I'd just never had a context in which to explore them so comprehensively until The Sandman came into my life.

And writing it has been like therapy for me. Last year was a year of two halves. I went to some dark places. But being here with you all, and writing this has been a release, an escape and a way of processing some of my own trauma and coping mechanisms that I had been exploring in CBT from March to August 2022.

That’s why it is so hard to let go. It’s been a refuge for me. Sure, I could come up with new chapters. There was a moment where I nearly did by bringing in a whole other puzzle for the reader and Morpheus to work through but it felt like I was trying to force something that was reaching a natural, happy ending. And I am so very happy with the way things have ended with my two beloved leads.

I'd like to sign off with a few words to my readers and followers who have accompanied me throughout this. Thank you all so much for the comments, likes and re-blogs and private messages. Hearing your thoughts and having your support has been immensely overwhelming and tear inducing. I send virtual hugs and love to each and every one of you. What a wonderful community we have here! Massive thank you and endless love to my IRL friend @theviridianbunny for suggesting I post the story on here, and for also listening to my Sandman-related screaming and the chapter babble that falls from my mouth every time we meet up ❤️

Now, to start working my way through the list of all The Sandman fics I have been saving in a draft on my phone. Turn me into a puddle from over-exposure to fluff! I am ready!

Until next time, all my love and best wishes. And don't forget to listen to your dreams and desires every once in a while 🥰

Saskia ❤️

P.S. Masterlist of chapters and playlist coming soon...

[formulapisces]

protestantism has dictated virtually their entire culture :/

you know, I've never seen rocky horror? I want to but I know I'd hate it msmfmd. what else have you watched today? I finished the new mike flanagan show, the fall of the house of usher. it was delightfully gruesome! 🦇

<be warned, i ramble.>

i’ve been watching all the movies i remember my sister and parents having on VHS when i was little. one of my earliest memories is walking in on my sister watching scream and being horrified but enamoured by ghostface and billy loomis 😭 it was love at first sight until i realised “oh he’s kind of a dick… and his hair is beyond greasy, you could flip burgers with all that grease.”

so i started out with scream, halloween, then my sister came in and asked to watch angus thongs and perfect snogging so i had to turn it off. then then today i finished halloween and watched jennifer’s body and now i’m 20 minutes into RHPS. my list is far too long, yet i’m adding some more new movies which i haven’t got the chance to watch yet…

i’m a slut for any movie made before 1990, no idea why but they’re so endearing to me? it’s a problem.

i want to watch at least one every day until the 31st, because on halloween every year i watch the polar express. don’t ask why, i don’t even know. it’s tradition.

it’s real good exposure therapy for OCD, i used to love horror movies because my older sister is really good at makeup SFX, she turned herself into pinhead one halloween with real needles and i thought it was so cool. i used to force her to do really realistic effects on me, i was probably really annoying.

i think they’re just so fun and spent a lot of time in my early teens watching and reading everything and anything horror, but i fell out of love with them when my anxiety got worse around 2021 time. PLUS! the horror community has some of the nicest people you will ever meet! i remember going to a horror/scifi convention with my dad when i was about 6ish years old and having the best time. 😭

sure, i was far too young but little me giving jason vorhees a high five and being absolutely terrified of the movie alien is genuinely one of my favourite memories

[batmancomicanalysis]

Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum

Hero:

Rich handsome athletic erotophobic police-connected reactionary killer Batman

Villains:

Psychopathic predatory homo/hypersexual self-mutilating coprolaliac transvestite Joker

Naked disease-spreading agalmatophilic homosexual putrescence Clayface

Emaciated wheelchair-bound Dr. Destiny

Drug-addicted paedophile Mad Hatter

Delusional satanic naked gender dysmorphic bisexual sadomasochistic coprophiliac Maxie Zeus

Psychopathic cannibalistic African descended mute reptilian beast-man Killer Croc

Deceptive psychotic homicidal transvestite Dr. Cavendish

Themes:

All of the few female characters (E. Arkham, C. Arkham, H. Arkham, M. Wayne, Pearl, Dr. Adams) are either victims of brutal male violence or plausible threats thereof

The only woman with a prominent role (Dr. Ruth Adams) is a pretentious, politically correct and ineffective psychiatrist whose therapy mentally damages the schizophrenic Two-Face further (resulting in incontinence, among other things), though she takes Batman's side against the delusional homicidal crossdresser Dr. Cavendish, acting decisively to slit his throat and save Batman (symbolically rejecting the idea of passive rehabilitation over necessary violence against an irredeemable psychopath and former co-worker/colleague). Batman attributes blame to the deranged Cavendish and explicitly, unsentimentally supports Adams' homicide ("He got what he deserved.")

Every character is racially European (barring mutant African Killer Croc)

There’s a suggestion from the dual protagonist (A. Arkham) that “madness” is hereditary and incurable: virtually all of the Asylum’s inmates are highly dangerous and/or highly unpleasant despite long-standing efforts to treat or cure them, with The Joker described as being potentially untreatable by Dr. Adams. The disfigured Two-Face (formerly Harvey Dent, Bruce Wayne's best friend) is far happier and more functional when he’s permitted to make decisions dualistically via his signature coin. A young Amadeus's attempts to rehabilitate the schizophrenic, sado-masochistic, unapologetic child-raping psychopath Martin "Mad Dog" Hawkins are shown to be childish, naïve and even fatally irresponsible, resulting in the brutal murder of his beloved wife and daughter

On top of that, exposure to the "criminally insane" seems to spread pathology even among the Asylum's authority figures (Amadeus, Cavendish), suggesting that madness is a social and institutional contagion. The purpose of the Asylum as a medical prison is further undermined by the fact that the inmates are released/escape with fatal consequences, leading one to the conclusion that many if not most of them should be disposed of in the same way that Amadeus justly (though not strictly legally) disposed of Hawkins

There's a consistent association between the concepts of deformity, mental illness, insanity, psychopathy, transvestism and paedophilia

The story is one of Nietzschean self-overcoming, with the Wagnerian hero Batman conquering his fears, defeating (whether physically or mentally) his degenerate enemies (who take the form of Jungian archetypes) and subduing the hellish madhouse, coming out the other side psychologically stronger