🏳️⚧️Happy Pride From the Recess Class!🏳️🌈
Akuma Class
Science Kids
Austin A: Legally Blonde, but Gayer
Gender nonconforming, who has time to narrow down pronouns?
Does everyone’s makeup before Pride with Kendra and Victoria
Dyes his hair pink
Gives free haircuts, paints peoples’ nails, and dyes hair using spray-on dye
They just want everyone to look fabulous, is that so wrong?!
Dresses in only flag colors
Uses his mom’s credit card to buy binders for people
This is the only time of year he makes people simp. Not the other way around
And they are going to use it to their advantage
Dresses her chinchillas in drag
They. Look. Gorgeous.
He somehow escapes the Glitter Wars unscathed
Todrick Hall is her anthem
Austin B: Gaymer Gurl
AroAce and He/Him
Wears Croc Heelys to pride
He wanders off a lot, and it terrifies his boyfriends best friends
Brings Elizabeth III to every pride and dresses her in only the finest fashions
He buys her all sorts of pride-themed cat toys because she’s worth it
When people ask him on a date, Elizabeth III hisses at them
Casually getting adopted by drag queens after he casually tells them about his home situation
He’s granted entry to any drag house when he wants to get away from his “parents”. He’s got six moms now, and he will steal jewelry for them
He met a little girl with yellow eyes like him and she hugged him
All of Marceline’s songs are his anthems
Austin Q: Secret Mom Friend with Mommy Issues
Questioning & He/?
Tempted to put a leash on everyone
Especially Austin B because he won’t stop wandering off!
Austin Q: WHERE ARE MY BABIES?! Have you seen a little bitch in yellow glitter pants?! He’s a little ho, but I love him!
He supplies the snacks Austin T doesn’t make. He’s the main apple slice supplier
He also makes sure to bring apple juice. He just likes apples. “They’re good for you, Armsy!”
Cosplays as every redhead character- Penn Zero, Vicky, Melissa Chase, Mary Test, Black Widow, and more
He joins the muscle-flexing contests and wins a couple
Can carry Austin A, B, and T on his shoulders
Once again, everyone thinks the four of them are a poly couple
Austin Quinlan, Protector of Lesbians, Wielder of the Sapphic Sword, Kicker of Protesters’ Balls
Knows how to do a badass rainbow kick
Austin T: OUT OF THE WAY! I AM VERY GAY!
Gay & He/Him
Bakes all sorts of pastries for everyone and it’s pretty much the one thing everyone looks forward to
Seriously, this boy brings like twenty containers full of cupcakes, cookies, and pancakes (For the pansexuals, of course)
Not even protesters are immune to his cupcakes. But because he’s petty, they only get plain vanilla with no toppings
That’s how disappointed he is in them. Now they feel as though they’ve disrespected every deity
The drag queens, dykes on bikes, and just lesbians in general will kill for this baby
Casually name drops his parents any time a protester screams in his face
He and Jean reenact scenes from Phantom of the Opera
DJ threw a glitter bomb at him, and no one was safe
Wears Huggycake like a boa because she loves all the people, and she scares off homophobes
He met other reptile queers and now they’re having brunch
Lotta Jameson: Kick Buttowski, Queer Daredevil
Aromantic and She/Her
Gerard tinkered with her Vespa, and now rainbow glitter shoots out the pipes
Do NOT give her sugar. Seriously
She somehow sneaks onto floats
Austin Q: Lotta! Get down from there!/ Lotta: Be gay, do crimes!
Brings a baseball bat in case of transphobes
She has a shirt that says so
She did a bike jump over the protesters and dropped bags of glitter on them
Now she’s getting called Amelia Earhart by literally everyone
She got the aviator goggles and they’re pretty sure Amelia is a queer icon… Also, she sometimes goes missing in the crowd. She’s so short!
Austin Q: WHERE’S MY OTHER BABY?! SHE’S THE LITTLE GINGER BITCH IN GOGGLES!/ Lotta: Do you call all your babies bitches?
Kendra Anne Gunderson: Casually Spider-Man Kisses People… With Consent
Polyromantic and She/Her
Kendra is a bit of an icon
Known by all as “Hand-Stand Girl” because she walked only on her hands for the entire event
She has two drag queen uncles and her cousin is a beauty influencer in the queer community
Every time Kendra breathes, a lesbian meets her perfect match
Her eyeliner is on point
DJ lowers her down from buildings so that she can kiss pretty people… With consent, of course
Those two are always getting into some sort of trouble
They spray painted some transphobe’s car and put an egg in the slightly open trunk. It stunk up the car for days
When she’s not pranking protesters, she’s on the mom friend squad with Austin Q and keeping Austin B from wandering off
DJ Detweiler: The Drag Jester
Genderfluid, Bisexual, and He/She
Owns an assortment of pun shirts for every sexuality. No one knows how they come up with them
DJ: I came out to my dad./ Mason: DJ, NO!/ DJ: He told animal control he had a bison in his house!
Always accused of starting the Glitter Wars. She ain’t denying anything
As the name implies, he’s gonna prank the protesters and TERFs
So far, he got a TERF to sit on a whoopie cushion, tricked some dick trying to force himself on an Ace girl into kissing a frog, and made some homophobe think his foot went missing
Heads to drag clubs to do standup, and is probably gonna get a Netflix show when she gets older
DJ: Do you know the difference between a government bond and a homophobe? The bond matures.
Now he’s booked for seven shows throughout the month
He’s got a laugh like Sardonyx that makes people (Especially Mason) simp
Any time DJ laughs, a trans boy gets his soup
Austin Spinelli: Sneaking Out in Ballet Flats
Achillean and He/Him
Casually flirts with any guy he comes across
And he lays the Italian accent on THICK
Dresses in pinstripe suits and says he’s the boss of the Velvet Mafia
When he’s not in suits, he’s dressed in his ballet gear and doing ribbon dances
His splits are flawless
Any time Spinelli does a pirouette, a trans girl gets her wings
Any time Spinelli does a pirouette, a transphobe gets punched
When he’s got the time, and he always does, he does chalk art with the kids, and creates a literal mural
He’s always got time
The organizers loved his work so much, they commissioned a mural for a youth center
Knits beanies for everyone
Gia Griswald: You Ask, I’ll Tell
MtF Trans and She/Her
Her dad went with her to her first pride, and none of the protesters wanted to mess with the six foot tall military general war hero
Gets into flexing contests
Wears rainbow camouflage to every event
If she sees a scuff on your combat boots, she’s gonna clean them
Helped Gerard write his queer history book
In a club with other queer history buffs and they reenact iconic poses from history, but make them gay
She attended a military funeral with her dad during June, and the soldier being burried was a lesbian
Immediately, a bunch of freaks who probably stalked them went to protest. Gia flipped some bastard over her shoulder
Roger Raincomprix, the arriving officer, didn’t see a thing
She eats a crap ton of marshmallows
Victoria LaSalle: Queers on Wheels
Asexual, Bigender, and He/They/She
Decorates her wheelchair with all sorts of pride stickers
Rocks it every year in a crop top
Starts every glitter bomb fight. No one ever sees them coming
She’s just… She’s a goddex
Everyone wants to get a selfie with him. That’s how gorgeous he is
Out of everyone’s leagues
Teaches kids in wheelchairs how to pop a wheelie
Likes to answers kids’ questions
Kid: Are you a robot?/ Victoria: … Yes. Yes, I am.
Only Gerard has the privilege of sitting in his lap as he cruises through the crowd
Gerard Grundler: The Gay Genius
FtM Trans, Pan, Polyamorous, He/Him
He’s written a mini-pride history book with Gia. They got publishers lining up and everything!
Everyone is just so pretty
He bails during the Glitter Wars and takes cover in a coffee shop
Victoria’s gotta keep him from wandering off and possibly joining a cult because the members are pretty
Probably hacked into the medical system so people can have better access to hormones
Faints any time he sees Victoria in a crop top
Dresses in a lot of pride flag sweater vests no matter how hot it is
Victoria: Gerard, it’s ninety-/ Gerard: SWEATER VESTS RULE!
He builds robots to wave pride flags in sync
He and Rochelle protect the bugs
Mindy Blumberg: Opera is Gay as Fuck
Demigirl, Panromantic, They/She
Sings “Rainbow Connection” in an operatic fashion, and leaves everyone in tears
Carries Gia on her shoulders
She carries everyone on her shoulders, but mostly Gia
Will act as a human shield during the Glitter Wars because that’s how much she cares.
But the second Austin T gets his hands on a glitter bomb, she’s out
Hayley Kiyoko is her anthem
If you ask, they’ll hug you
Mindy gives amazing hugs
Everyone will die for this girl
Also, she’s weirdly poetic. It makes everyone wanna listen to her for hours
Is a pacifist, but she’ll give it to you straight if you mess with her friends
Rochelle Weems: That one person at pride who takes pictures of the protesters screaming at queer kids and posts them online for everyone to see
Demigirl, Polysexual, Ze/Zir
Brings zir Polaroid to make a scrapbook and blackmail protesters
Ze’s a rat, but a good kind of rat. The kind who makes sure homophobes and transphobes don’t get away with yelling at queer kids
Was self conscious about zir back brace until ze saw a drag king wearing a bedazzled one
Was roped into letting Austin A, Victoria and Kendra do zir makeup
Ze looked gorgeous!
Ze and Austin B share the good gossip with drag queens
In exchange, they get tickets to shows
Will kill for Austin T’s cookies
Just don’t let zir have too much sugar, otherwise ze will go crazy and start a cult based on cookies where everyone wears Cookie Monster bathrobes
It’s happened once before, and now ze’s under surveillance
Protects the bugs from getting stepped on and then places them in protesters’ hair
Ze saw this one guy about to take a swing at a lesbian, and promptly kicked him in the balls
Now ze’s got twelve new numbers in zir phone
Mason Ewing: The Most Organized Person At Pride
Bigender, Asexual, He/She
Brings a binder filled with horrific facts about conversion therapy to throw in the faces of protesters
Will talk the ear off of any protester about why they’re wrong about everything until they just walk away
Gets carried by DJ on her shoulders
Somehow knows where everyone is at all times
He teaches Rochelle how to walk in pumps and ze teaches him how to steal thirty candy bars
Brings sarcastic coffee thermoses
Paid Gerard to make her coffee maker battery operated, and now she brings it everywhere
She just pins an asexual flag pin on her tie and calls it a day. Though, if DJ asks, she will wear a pun shirt
DJ is the only one who knows how to make her laugh, and Spinelli’s taking bets on who will ask who out first
Beck King: Cosplays As Frida Kahlo
Nonbinary, Achillean, They/Them
The responsible chaperone when M. Grotke’s out of commission
Dyes their unibrow rainbow
Silently flirts with guys using eyebrow language
Cosplays as Clone High Frida Kahlo and the original Frida Kahlo. They just like Frida
Just casually flexing their muscles in front of hot guys, nothing going on there
Then the hot guys write their phone numbers on their hockey stick
Spinelli’s mentor in ‘The Way of the Achillean’
He makes crowns for kids
Any time a protester tries to attack them, they just suddenly disappear
People swear they’ve see men in black drag protesters away from Beck
Seriously, it’s like this guy’s got a whole security detail!
Alonzo Grotke: I Went to the First Pride, and All I Got Was This Brick
FtM Trans, Gay, He/Him
A well seasoned gay
Has a shirt that says “Papa Gay”
He’s total DILF getting hit on by every silver fox. He ain’t complaining, and they sure ain’t complaining when they get a look at his abs with that crop top
Seriously, this guy is ripped
The parade paused when one of the floats got a flat, and he just… He just made a whole bunch of guys simp by changing a tire, that’s all they’ll say
He’s the one keeping people at gay bars from getting roofied by creeps
Teaches meditation at the youth center
He gets hit on by the single dads, A LOT
Back in the day, he stole a police motorcycle and painted it rainbow. He passes out autographed copies of his mugshot because it’s such a good photo
His kids went to spy on his date with M. Monlataing and he pretended he didn’t notice
He passes mini water bottles to protesters since it’s ninety degrees out and he doesn’t want them dying of thirst despite everything
But, he does it with this smirk like, “Looks like I’m the bigger person here, losers. Namaste.”
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hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc
OMG AAAAA I LOVE THIS ASK
brief comment i wanted to make, but this was the year i finally took control of my mental health and went to go see someone about it so congratulations to me for finally breaking down the wall of "im fine" and allowing myself to admit that i could use some help. that aside, lets get into it! beware, possible spoilers
MOVIES
1. Nope (dir. Jordan Peele) - this movie surprised me so much and reflects a LOT of my views on performative/spectacle-like behavior in front of the Camera and the effects things like hollywood or social media could potentially have on people...not going to get into that but i just liked the movie alot okay
2. X (dir. Ti West) - love me some camp. love mia goth. i also really liked Pearl and cannot WAIT for MaXXXine, i am so ready
3. Cruel Intentions (dir. Roger Kumble) - i dont think 2022 was the first year i watched Cruel Intentions but everytime i watch it, it feels like something brand new...i am so compelled to read the book that its based on like seriously
4. Turning Red (dir. Domee Shi) - this is the only Disney movie that exists to me...the mother-daughter relationship portrayed here is just so personal
5. Kiki’s Delivery Service (dir. Hayao Miyazaki) - yeah im extremely late to watching this lol. i watched literally every other ghibli film growing up but somehow, in some way, skipped over Kiki. so i watched it over the summer as an adult and needless to say...yeah i missed out as a kid asjashd
6. American Psycho (dir. Mary Harron) - this is the funniest film ive seen this whole year. im not even kidding
TV SHOWS
1. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul - never thought id enjoy a show about a middle-aged white male turning to meth production to make ends meet and becoming the most annoying character ever created, but here we are. loved it, and literally EVERYONE around walt deserved so much better (jesse, gus, johnny/saul, mike, skylar, marie, hank)
2. Ranma 1/2 - ive taken a break from watching new anime this year and started diving into older ones. i love ranma simply bc its a bit ahead of its time and is just so easy to digest. just a fun little show!!! a great way to take my mind off of shit
3. The Sandman - just found out recently that this was a DC comic so congrats to DC for successfully infiltrating my anti-superhero visual barrier LOL. anyways i am in dire NEED of the next season
4. You - PENN BADGLEY. thats all im going to say. im a huge fan of Gossip Girl (2007) and as soon as i saw him playing the lead character i RAN to watch the first season when it dropped. was not disappointed
5. The Witcher - ive never played the game lol but the show is so good...im not a fan of GoT (and therefore will never watch HotD) so this show p much fills the dark fantasy void for me
6. Bridgerton - im so glad i got over my weird distaste and finally gave this show a try...i see the hype, i see it!! and the show itself is so beautiful to look at, despite being historically innacurate or whatever
7. Gossip Girl (2007) - ive watched and rewatched this show a grand total of maybe like....20 times in my life total. rewatched it again this year. all six seasons. it never gets old despite being the most ridiculous insipid shit ever. im also currently watching the new version, and while i love the cast and maybe the soundtrack, it doesnt match up to the campy and fun vibe that the first one had. it takes itself way too seriously and the plot is almost nonexistent lol
but anyway, lets move on to music!! im skipping over books bc i have currently finished NONE from the book haul i had back in october.
MUSIC
just gonna list out a bunch of songs that have carried me thru the last half of this year :]
ass like that victoria monet / bang (my body) chase icon / meta angel fka twigs / wish i never kehlani / king for a day pierce the veil, kellin quinn / pass the nirvana pierce the veil / antagonist nova twins / gibson girl ethel cain / like a tattoo sade / the perfect pair beabadoobee / so it goes tamino / daybreak’s bell l’arc-en-ciel / colors flow / distant tevomxntana, cayo / grapefruit tove lo
sorry if this is extremely long. thanks for asking!!!!!! ❤️
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