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the-fallen-stones · 5 months ago

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I am bad at hiding. If you are my friend, you might recognize me. For that, I apologize.

You may call me anything you like. I enjoy and encourage nicknames. But if you need a name, Mica works.

If you would like me to write something for you, you can request it, and I will if I can. It may not be immediately. But I will try.

A warning, my descriptions can sometimes be graphic, or a little violent. It is usually metaphorical, though, don't worry.

I like both storm and calm. Chaos and comfort. I enjoy things that invoke thought, or creativity. I love hugs, snuggles, animals (especially dragons and cats), tea, fiction, and poetry.

Please do not bring up politics here. It's not that I don't care. But I've anguished myself enough over them and honestly, I need a break.

Never assume hostility! It was probably an accident. My tone comes across weird sometimes.

Tags:

#storm's eye - things that strike me, and I'd like to come back to.

#mica speaks - anything original, by me.

#mica reblogs - empty reblogs.

#mica elaborates - reblogs that are not empty.

#mica rambles - I have rambled.

#mica rhymes - my poetry.

#mika doodles - my art.

#mika's music - my favorite songs.

#mica recites - my favorite poems or stories.

#mika inquires - I ask questions.

#mika responds - I answer questions.

Credit for the image goes to @poetryforall.

My wonderful mutuals:

@kimu-dem - Keeper of comfort.

@thatrando13 - The wanderer.

@carrotsinnovember - A gentle friend.

@hersurvival - Blanket fort against thunder and snowstorms.

@caustic-splines - Writer of old love letters.

@abiethewizardduck

@randomshowerpoems - The wise wordsmith.

@poemsofanentomologist

@galaxys-universe

@literaryvein - The bright storm outside.

@same-skies

These titles can always change, as I know you better. If you'd like me to use a different one I certainly can.

Some of my favorite songs are;

One Day You Will Fly Too, by Aimee Carty,

Come Along, Does the Swallow Dream of Flying?, Egg and Soldiers, Pelicans We, Half Past Three, Run, and Linger Longer, by Cosmo Sheldrake,

Glow in the Dark by Vian Izak,

Rush of Life, My Neighbor's Car Alarm, Desire, and Rain, by Tony Ann. (Classical.)

Experience, Fly, and Eros, by Ludovico Einaudi. (Classical.)

Ilomilo by Billie Eilish,

Two, Sun, Eight, and Light by Sleeping at Last,

Big Black Car and San Luis by Gregory Alan Isakov,

Passing Through by Kaden MacKay,

The Mountain Song, Be Nobody, and Better is the End, by TopHouse,

Changing Days, Irish Eyes, I Can Never Give my Heart, and Rocket, by Rose Betts,

The Sound of Silence, by Simon and Garfunkel,

Walking in the Air, Time, Orinoco Flow, and Carol of the Bells, by Libera,

And many more.

Some of my favorite poems are;

Tug'o'War of Heartstrings, The Night Sky, Together, With a Window Between, A Heavy Wait/Weight, A Veil Not Yet There, Sharks in a Zoo, A Faustian Deal, Denial, The Voice of a Loved One, Explosions, Tribute to the Ocean, The Vast Expanse of the Ocean, Nurturing, Stalagmites in my Brain, and How Can I Put Those Boxes Away? by The Shower Poet,

Fire and Ice, and Walking by Woods on a Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost,

The Sunshine Kid, Paper People, and 59, by Harry Baker,

The Spider, by Robert P. Tristam Coffin,

Run With You, by Atlas,

A Litany, by Gregory Orr,

Landscape with a Blur of Conquerors, and Details of the Woods, by Richard Silken.

And many more.

Some of my favorite books are;

The Chronicles of Narnia, by C. S. Lewis,

Breadcrumbs, by Anne Ursu,

Ella Minnow Pea, by Mark Dunn,

Holes, Wayside School, Small Steps, and There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom, by Lois Sachar.

Hoot, Scat, Flush, and Chomp, by Carl Hiaasen.

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Starry River of the Sky, and When the Sea Turned to Silver, by Grace Lin.

And oh, so very many more.

Poems I have written;

Teach Me, Silent Serenade, Space Can Die, Weak Resolve, Boundaries Drawn, The Candle, Vacuum, One Pace, Adventure With Me, Stagnant, Workaholic, Sirens Can Cry, Dreamt of Loss, The Chalkboard, Shush, and many more to come.

Once was a girl, who would talk to herself. Stories, tales, thoughts in passing, of the past, future, of the sky and leaves, wind and breeze, of storm and calm. She longed to speak in a cadence. One to soothe. To heal. Doesn't everyone want that, to heal? To be somebody to someone, to have a voice like an anchor, eyes like a vice, that soften, that go warm like a bird's shelter?

Storm seeks calm. Calm seeks storm. They find a balance. But never, never do they stay still. She couldn't stay still. Her mind was a hurricane. And sometimes a breeze, sometimes a song to put you at ease, and sometimes, tight, coiled like a spring.

The calm wasn't who she was. Nor was she as much of the storm as she thought she was. Dear, she was a fire. She'd dim, and grow brighter. Her voice would get high when excited, she'd smile. Her embers couldn't rest. She'd smoulder. Then big stewing pots would bubble over. She'd speak in paragraphs, eyes like beacons, stumbling over words and not always making sense...

But it was beautiful. She loved, she loved deeply. She wanted to be loved, too. And she was. But when the smoke gets high, water and frost meeting that bright smile all too many times, it blurs out the hands, hearts, the words reaching, seeking...

She was silenced. Of course, the embers still burned. But the very things she stifled were the things she was beloved for. And she couldn't hear them.

But slowly, wet wood dries, my dear. You can't always cry. Time passes by. Wounds heal, scars fade, even when clouds pass over the stars. She was stronger than that.

She learned again to love. And though she had times she couldn't muster the songs, the words, the strength to hold on so tight, she began to heal.

Please, my dear, have patience. She is still healing.

Burnout is a dangerous thing. If you are stuck it never eases, never ceases. And things that brought you peace are no less, then, but grievous. It feels like Sisyphus himself is in charge of pulling you out of that rut. My dear, he can't.

The world moves so fast... I can't help but be dizzy. The facts and the future, like stones, whizzing, past my head, I bustle, I catch them, I'm busy...

The earth turns fast but not as fast as my head. Live, die. Fireflies. On my deathbed. I crave a rest, but I get anger instead. For injustice, for fury, the memories I shed...

Give my hands to the stars, fire for every digit. They fall from the sky when in darkness I fidget. Tear through the clouds, but then cry when I can't fix it. My brain is a void and...

I just.

Can't.

Bridge it.

#intro post #mica speaks #mica rambles #mica rhymes #mica's music #atlas 🌏#freida 🍫#zanahoria 🥕#shower poet 🚿#dai 🐜#-i 📜#ki 🌊#mica remembers #lauren 🐦

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absolutebl · 9 days ago

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Hello! I'm working on an art project and could use a bit of help. Any recommendations of BL dramas that are not happily ever after? Not necessarily "everyone dies" but where the main couple does not end up together? Separately, are you aware if anyone's ever made a collection of common Thai BL sound effects (with audio)? Such weird asks, sorry! Thank you in advance.

Sound effects? Nope.

BL's Without HEAs

There are so many I eliminated all shorts and compilations, and anything I DNF's. Ones towards the top = more likely one/both die.

Till the World Ends - Thai 2023

Love Bill - Vietnam 2023

A Round Trip to Love - China 2016

Lost Love - China 2016

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao - China 2016

The Shortest Distance is Round - Japan 2019

The Shortest Distance is Round 2: Rain and Soda - Japan 2020

The Shortest Distance 3: Fallen Flowers - Japan 2020

No Regret - Korea 2006

A Frozen Flower - Korea 2008

Diary of Heong Yeong Dang - Korea 2014

Night Flight - Korea 2014

The Boy Next Door - Korea 2017

In Between Seasons - Korea 2018

He's Out There Somewhere - Taiwan 2016

Red Wine in the Dark Night - Thai 2015

Grey Rainbow: Views of Love (KarnNat) - Thai 2016

My Bromance - Thai 2016 & 2014

Dew the Movie - Thai 2019

Love Machine - Thai 2021

Ghost Boyfriend 1 - China 2016

Ghost Boyfriend 2 - China 2017

Swinging Blossom - China 2017

In Your Heart - China 2022

Boys Love: The Movie AKA Boys Love 2 AKA Schoolboy Crush - Japan 2007

Asymmetry - Japan 2008

Forbidden Love - Japan 2008

Double Mints - Japan 2017

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese - Japan 2020

* Eternal Yesterday - Japan 2022

Method - Korea 2017

Tropical Night - Korea 2017

Kissable Lips - Korea 2022

Once Again - Korea 2022

Eternal Summer - Taiwan 2006

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count - Taiwan 2019

Your Name Engraved Herein - Taiwan 2020

Love of Siam - Thai 2007

Love Next Door 1 - Thai 2013

Secret Love: Love Behind One's Back - Thai 2014

Feel Good to Say Goodbye - Thai 2015

Water Boyy / Waterboyy - Thai 2015 & 2017

Gray - Thai 2016

Sweet Student Boy - Thai 2016

I Love You - Thai 2017

Present Perfect - Thai 2017

What the Duck - Thai 018

The Effect - Thai 2019

Queer Beauty AKA Oppressive Love - China 2016

Melody of Our Love - Japan 2008

Fujimi Orchestra - Japan 2012

Shape of Happiness 1 - Japan 2013

Dark Blue and Moonlight - Taiwan 2017

Bro and Me - Taiwan 2019

I Am Your King 1 - Thai 2017

My Dream - Thai 2018

Something In My Room - Thai 2022

Mermaid's Jade - China 2019

Loveless Society - Thai 2021

Fools - Vietnam 2021

Vian the series (Bah Vinh) - Vietnam 2023

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend - China 2017

Win Jaime's Heart - Pinoy 2020

The Day I Loved You - Pinoy 2023 (quite a lot of Pinoy stuff actually, I just started DNFing)

The Best Story (YinWar) - Thai 2021

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner - Korea 2023

There's more early stuff on this list because there was so little back then I watched it all, rated it, and noted triggers.

Now I tend to DNF a show if I think it's going south.

Thus you may note some high value propositions not on this list, although they satisfy your cirteria: I Told Sunset About You or Call it What You Want or 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, which I have never watched because I know they v. sad.

* Eternal Yesterday is the only one I actually enjoyed.

More in depth answer:

#asked and answered #BLs without HEA

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anonymousewrites · 10 months ago

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Logos and Pathos (Book 3) Chapter Nine

TOS! Spock x Empath! Reader

Chapter Nine: Healing Darkness

Summary: (Y/N) is experimented on by the Vians, and Gem proves her strength.

(Y/N) hung suspended in the air as the Vians stared at them with clinical disinterest.

“Lieutenant, please understand that if there was any other way to accomplish our purpose…” The Vian trailed off.

(Y/N) kept their gaze carefully calm. “Get on with it.”

The Vians raised their hands, and (Y/N) winced as pain rushed through them. They gritted their teeth and fought not to cry it. It was agony piercing their mind and body simultaneously, an assault on all their senses. They could feel their skin splitting to bleed and their mind pushing as much of the psychic attack away. (Y/N) could feel the torture in their very soul.

Spock worked stiffly on the Vians’ device as his mind fought not to focus on what might be happening to (Y/N). It didn’t help that Bones and Kirk were hovering behind him, worried for his own state. They knew how deeply he loved (Y/N) and how much it hurt him to know they were in pain, no matter how he hid it.

“What is the device, Spock?” asked Kirk, trying to help focus Spock.

“It is a control unit but not a control mechanism,” answered Spock shortly. “It is not even a mechanical device.”

“What exactly is it?” questioned Bones, helping Kirk keep Spock busy.

“This control is attuned to only one electrical pattern of energy—the pattern produced by the mental impulses of the person who possesses it,” explained Spock, mind drifting to (Y/N) and their psychic abilities. He squared his shoulders and continued. “It is activated solely by mental commands.”

“Can you adapt it, re-attune it to fit our brain pattern?” asked Kirk.

“I shall attempt to do so,” said Spock. To rescue my T’hy’la. “However, it is not possible to adjust the control to fit more than one pattern at a time. I am, of course, most familiar with my own pattern, so I will begin with that.” He didn’t ask for permission. He needed to work efficiently in order to get to (Y/N) as soon as possible.

Kirk patted his shoulder. “Do whatever you have to do to make it work, Spock.” He grimaced. “What disturbs me is why the Vians let us keep it.”

“Just another one of their experiments,” huffed Bones.

“They must have known we were capable of comprehending this control and making use of it,” acknowledged Spock.

“And that we would use it to escape,” said Kirk.

“The only logical assumption is that they wish to let us go,” said Spock.

“And they keep (Y/N)?” said Bones, narrowing his eyes.

Spock pursed his lips slightly and nodded. “Evidently, that is their intention.” But I will not allow that to happen.

Kirk turned to face Gem, who gazed at them all gently. Without (Y/N), Kirk had to rely on his instincts to understand Gem, and he hoped that she understood him as clearly as she understood her fellow empath.

“Somehow��you’re the crux,” said Kirk. “The focal point of all this.” He glanced at Spock and Bones. “She’s an empath like (L/N), and even before we got here, she was a prisoner. They chose (L/N) specifically for a reason. All of this has to be linked.”

“Indeed. The facts would indicate that she is essential for their purpose and are using (L/N), another empath, for their experiments for precisely that commonality,” said Spock. He disliked that the facts pointed that fact. It meant the Vians were using (Y/N) and their pain for their own gain, and Spock couldn’t think of anything worse. Especially since their mind—their beautiful, kind, brilliant mind—was in danger.

“But if there is a purpose, what is it?” asked Bones, glancing at Gem.

Kirk gently laid his hands on Gem’s shoulders and spoke to her. “Has all the pain and terror happened, or been made to happen, for you?” Unfortunately, if she had an answer, he could not understand it.

“Completed, Captain,” said Spock, standing and holding the device in his hands. “The adjustments are delicate. They may not survive more than even one use. However, there should be sufficient energy to take us to the Enterprise.” Spock looked at Kirk. “But it could bring us to (Y/N).” And he desperately needed to get to them.

Kirk smiled at him. “Then what are we waiting for? The best defense is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending.”

“Let’s go get your favorite officer,” said Bones.

Even Gem smiled and picked up (Y/N)’s communicator from where it had fallen and offered it to Spock.

“Aim for the lab,” said Kirk.

Spock didn’t need to be told twice. He pressed a button on the device, and the group disappeared in a burst of light.

Spock, Bones, Kirk, and Gem appeared in the lab and found (Y/N) still suspended in the air. Spock’s heart clenched as he saw their expression. The look in their eyes was that of exhaustion, and it was clear from the cuts and bruises on their body that they had been tortured. Gem covered her mouth as Spock quickly moved over to pull (Y/N) down. He cradled them to him as he broke the manacles holding them up. Spock carried (Y/N) to a table and laid them down. Bones was instantly beside him and scanning for an explanation of the injuries.

“T’hy’la?” asked Spock as Bones scanned them. (Y/N) furrowed their brow, recognizing Spock’s voice but too exhausted and pained to respond.

“Their pulse is almost gone,” murmured Bones. “There is severe heart damage. Signs of congestion in both lungs.” He grimaced. “And as for their mind…there’s no telling what’s happened to it.”

(Y/N) tried to speak, but Spock gently pushed them back down. He knew they needed to keep their energy to keeping themself alive.

“Don’t talk,” said Spock. “Just keep breathing, T’hy’la.” He was stiff, though, and he could see the look in Bones’s eyes.

Bones stood, and Spock and Kirk followed him. Bones cleared his throat and gazed at Spock, hating what he was about to say. “They’re dying, Spock. I don’t think there is anything I can do for them.”

The words hung in the air, and Spock was silent as Kirk and Bones looked at him worriedly.

“What can we do?” asked Spock. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could feel his self-control slipping away as the truth set in that (Y/N) was dying.

“We can make them comfortable and alleviate the pain,” said Bones.

(Y/N) coughed, and instantly, Spock was beside them, taking their hand into his. “I didn’t think I’d go this way,” they muttered, smiling weakly in an attempt to keep Spock’s spirits up. Their smile was interrupted by a sudden spasm of coughs again, and blood splattered the floor as they hacked.

“Breath, T’hy’la. Breath,” repeated Spock, unable to help (Y/N) in any way that would truly count.

“You’re so kind, dear…” (Y/N)’s eyes closed, and they fell unconscious as Spock held their hand.

“Can’t we do something?” whispered Kirk.

“We cannot.” Spock hated the words, but he understood the situation. His mind had already parsed every action he could take, and none of them would help (Y/N). He was losing them, and he couldn’t do anything. Spock’s heart was already tearing itself apart. Indeed, his heart would die with (Y/N).

Kirk’s eyes widened. “Wait…couldn’t Gem help them the way she helped me?”

“Yes, but it would risk her own death, and (Y/N) wouldn’t like that,” said Bones.

Spock nodded. As deeply as he wanted to help (Y/N), he wouldn’t betray their desires by harming another person.

“But it isn’t certain that she’d die, is it?” repeated Kirk.

“It is not,” admitted Spock.

Bones nodded. “She had an instinct of self-preservation at the beginning, but it’s possible she could help (Y/N). But we can’t be sure.”

“We just need her to give (L/N) enough strength to not die,” said Kirk. “Would that help her chances?”

“It would,” said Spock.

“Then let’s convince her,” said Kirk decidedly. He smiled at Spock. “We’ll save them. I promise.”

The group took a step, and the moment they did, the force field appeared around them and trapped them in place. Gem cowered to the side as she felt (Y/N)’s pain and the fears of the officers flooded over her. In another flash, the Vians appeared and gazed at her.

“No interference will be permitted,” said Vian One.

“She can save their life,” said Spock matter-of-factly.

“Let us help her to go to him,” said Kirk.

“She must not be urged or forced to take action,” said Vian Two. “All must proceed without interference.”

“The purpose that brought us here together…except the fulfillment of some need of yours?” spat Bones.

“We have but one need left in life and that is to see the completion of the final moment of our test,” said Vian One.

“Be patient,” said Vian Two.

“Patient?!” cried Bones.

“Our friend is dying!” snapped Kirk.

Spock’s eyes narrowed in a Vulcan expression of fury.

“Perhaps,” said Vian Two.

“What purpose can be served by (Y/N)’s death except to bring you pleasure?” said Spock, words clipped and curt. “Surely beings as advanced as yourselves know that your star system will soon be extinct. Your sun will nova.”

“We know,” said Vian One.

“Then you also know that the millions of inhabitants on its planets are doomed,” said Spock. (Y/N) would despise that. His heart clenched at the knowledge.

“That is why we are here,” said Vian One.

“This arena of death that you’ve devised for your pleasure—will it prevent this catastrophe?” snapped Kirk.

“No, it will not, but it may save Gem’s planet,” said Vian Two. “Of all the planets of Minara, we have the power to transport the inhabitants of only one to safety.”

“If Gem’s planet is the one that will be saved, we must make certain beyond any doubt whatsoever they are worthy of survival,” said Vian One.

“How will (Y/N)’s death serve this purpose?” questioned Spock, severely critical.

“Their death will not serve it, but her willingness to give her life for them will,” said Vian Two, looking at where Gem was gazing in fright at (Y/N)’s dying body.

“You were her teachers,” said Vian One.

“We were…? What could she possibly learn from us?” muttered Bones.

“Your will to survive,” said Vian One. “Your love of life. Your passion to know. The connection of empathy. They are recorded in her being. Her planet will be fortunate. Each of you was willing to give their life for the others. We must now find out whether that instinct has been transmitted to Gem.”

The lab shook suddenly as a tremor ran through the earth.

“Time grows short,” said Vian Two.

“You were correct, Captain,” said Spock, a bit bitterly beneath his Vulcan exterior. “Everything that has occurred here has been caused to happen by them. This has all been a great laboratory, and we have been the subjects of the test.”

“No. We only created the circumstances,” claimed Vian Two. “That was necessary.”

At a computer console, Gem suddenly rose. She was nervous and afraid, but she finally stood in the face of all the pain and confusion swirling around her.

“Your actions were spontaneous,” continued Vian One. “Everything that is truest and best in all species of beings has been revealed by you.”

Spock’s eyes narrowed. It had been revealed by them and by (Y/N), the other empath, who now lay dying because of their plans.

“Those are the qualities that make a civilization worthy to survive,” said Vian One, watching as Gem sat on the couch beside (Y/N)’s agonized body. “Behold.”

Everyone was silent as they watched Gem gaze at (Y/N) fearfully, nervously. And then she reached out and touched their hands. Instantly, pain arched through her, and she contorted uncomfortably. Still, she continued, running her hands to (Y/N)’s face and allowing their pain and injuries to pass to her. The empathic auras of both psychics blended into a pure energy that leapt through them.

The psychic connection was too much outright, and Gem flinched back, drawing her hands away fearfully. But then she steeled herself yet again and pressed onward, once again connecting to (Y/N)’s emotions and injuries as (Y/N)’s empathy naturally reached out to her as well. Their wounds faded and reappeared on Gem’s face before disappearing.

Gem began to weep silently as the pain overtook her. Even as (Y/N)’s eyes opened and their breaths grew stronger, Gem’s body began to give out on her. She nearly slumped over, but (Y/N) forced themself up and caught her.

“Stop…” (Y/N) forced the words out and glared at the Vians. “Let her stop.”

“She must prove she has the instinct to save her people,” said Vian One.

“I won’t let her die…for me.”

(Y/N) pushed Gem away, struggling due to their own body’s weakness, but Gem’s empathic injuries made it easier to force her away. Gem tried to reach out and force her empathy through them, but (Y/N)’s own empathy rejected Gem and instead pushed into Gem. Her eyes widened as she felt her own pain subsiding slightly as (Y/N) took on part of it. (Y/N) raised their golden eyes to look at the Vians challengingly.

“With our auras interacting like this, I can heal her. And every time she tries to sacrifice herself for me, I’ll just heal her in turn.” (Y/N) spoke clearly and calmly through their exhaustion. “So you either let her stop and accept that she is willing to sacrifice herself without her having to do it, or I ruin your experiment.”

Spock nearly (nearly) smiled. That was his t’hy’la, willing to fight to their last breath with every bit of strength they had to protect others. It was one of the many reasons he loved them. And it was one of the many reasons Spock had focused so clearly on escaping the force field. It drew energy from movements against it, and so, Spock had stopped resisting.

He slipped through effortlessly and was behind the Vians in an instant. Using his strength, Spock grabbed the device the Vians held and deactivated the force field to release Kirk and Bones. They ran up beside him, and all three stood between the Vians and the empaths behind them.

(Y/N) smiled. “Spock…” Knowing they were safe, they let go of Gem and let themself fall backwards in exhaustion as Gem did the same. Both were partially injured, partially healed, and wholly drained.

Spock knelt beside them as Kirk and Bones kept their eyes on the Vians. When he found a steady pulse, he gripped their forearm for a moment to tell them silently that he was glad they were alright. Indeed, he was beyond glad, he was as close as a Vulcan to get to ecstatic. Spock’s t’hy’la was alive, and that was all that mattered.

“Her instinct must be developed to the fullest,” said Vian Two, staring at them all evenly. “The test must be completed.”

“As (Y/N) said, it is complete,” said Spock. “Gem has earned the right of survival for her planet. She offered her life.”

“To offer is not proof enough,” said Vian One.

“She nearly died! She would have died if (Y/N) hadn’t rejected it!” cried Bones angrily.

“All of us here are willing to die for one another,” said Kirk. He narrowed his eyes. “But we are equally unwilling to let anyone sacrifice themselves outside of ourselves. You’ve lost the capacity to feel the emotions you brought Gem here to experience. You don’t understand what it is to live. Love and compassion are dead in you. You’re nothing but intellect.”

The Vians were silent and turned to each other slightly. The Starfleet officers were tense when they turned back after having a conversation without words.

“We accept your conclusion,” said Vian One. He extended a hand for the device Spock held.

Spock handed it over. That was all the acknowledgement they were going to get. And as Spock picked up (Y/N) and the light appeared around them to send them safely to the surface, Spock didn’t care for anything else.

(Y/N)’s eyes opened, and they reached out with their emotions to Gem. They felt her exhaustion and fright, and in a last act of goodbye, they sent a wave of comfort and calm over her. Gem would survive with her planet and learn more about connection and what it meant to have a heart full of life.

(Y/N) smiled.

When (Y/N)’s consciousness returned, they were lying on a cot in Sickbay. They groaned and raised their head tiredly.

“The Doctor was quite strict about you resting, T’hy’la,” said Spock, appearing beside them to guide them gently.

(Y/N) sat up and smiled. No matter how exhausted or pained they were, it was made better by Spock’s presence. “Spock…You’re alright!”

“It appears your actions convinced the Vians to allow both you and Gem to live, and therefore, her planet,” said Spock.

“I’m glad,” said (Y/N). “I couldn’t stand to let her hurt herself because of me.”

Spock nodded. He understood (Y/N)’s good heart. “You have quite strong stances on such things. However, I wish you would prioritize your own safety more.”

(Y/N) smiled. They knew it was Spock’s way of saying that he wanted them safe and unharmed. “I know. And don’t worry, I won’t go looking for chances to sacrifice myself.” They pressed two of their fingers to his.

“I would believe you if you didn’t insist on helping everyone you find.” Spock smiled slightly as he teased them, ducked his head, and kissed them.

Taglist:

@a-ofzest

@grippleback-galaxy

@genderfluid-anime-goth

@groovy-lady

@im-making-an-effort

@unending-screaming

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@neenieweenie

@keylimeconstellation

@wormwig

@technikerin23

@ilyatan

@nthdarkqueen

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midnightmah07 · 8 months ago

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Her last chapter (A/n: i woke up and choose violence today- ALSO FIRST POV and short)

The mirror was correct; I'm afraid I never belonged in that place. Clawed my way out of that rabbit hole, hoping for the feeling of sanity once again.

"Good morning-"

"-I will take her order, the usual Miss Kurosu?" The attendant asked me, cutting off his co-worker. Maybe that day I wished for the unusual like I felt in that place...

"Yes. The usual." But, perhaps coffee wasn't the answer for it.

I step to the corner of the counter a heavy sigh leaving my lungs in a twirl. After leaving that twisted place, I seek for my dreams, I hoped for something between the lines of creativity, I craved for recognition. And that's when I wrote my book, "Twisted wonderland." Sure, it was not a creativity tittle, since it was the name of the place, but no one needed to know. No one knew the story written in the book was my life.

"Yuuna Kurosu."

The call out for my name made my head snap up to where the server had my order in their hands.

"Thank you." I took the coffee, heading back to the streets.

The book? A success. People came up with their theories, questions that not even I, the author, could answer.

"Miss Kurosu!" But, there was one question specifically they would all ask me. I turn my head with the hand on the doorknob. It was a teenager girl with my book in her hands. When she noticed she caught my glance, the was a small sight of embarrassment, but when she approached me, she tried to remain calm. "I've read your book, so many times... But, never understood. If Yuui, loved Vian. Why she didn't stayed?"

The only question, I would never know how to answer. As if, they could see right through me, that I wouldn't be able to have an answer. If Yuuna, loved Vil. Why did she left? That is what I would hear.

"Sometimes, the concept of love for some people, just isn't meant to be." Was my enigmatic answer for a straight forward question.

Of course, the teenage girl hums in confusion.

"Can I get a picture?" She asked me.

I nod.

Awhile, she took out her phone, I wondered myself the question. Did I left because the dark mirror was right? Did I never actually belonged?

The silence with a smile on my face, as the girl thank me after getting her picture, made me reflective.

I didn't hold grief for not belonging.

I held pain for not belonging with him.

The last kiss, was the last chapter of Yuui's book. The continuing pain of my life, was the tale not to be told.

What if I jump from a bridge

What

What if mayhaps

I end my misery right here right now

You're evil. You're so evil. You're so mean. How dare you. To make my pookie sad like this. How. How could you. You're lucky this isn't canon. I will get my revenge.

#💙! mah's answers #💙! barbs<3 #💙! Barbs's writting!#in case u couldn't tell #this is all /j #I LOVED IT #it was so good...#LIKE WOW SHE WROTE A BOOK #THAT'S SO FUN

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citriosis · 8 months ago

Text

about

lemon / lem

they/them (occasional eldritch he/him)

black + queer as in fuck you

my brain and body are a nightmare

eldritch horror contained in a lemon

that's right, folks, after a little over a year, this is now The Main Blog™. it's about goddamn time lol. that means all likes will come straight from the source; this funky little lemon living in a crt tv. yippee.

more info under the cut (not mega important but it could be nice to have!)

socials

writing + ttrpg sideblog: @here-comes-the-bard (mostly for bigger things, character tags stick here :})

language learning sideblog: @citrijp (currently on hiatus for a mental health break)

the sims sideblog: @citriosims

pinterest: citriosis

twitter: citriosis (almost never used but it's there)

interests

bold = currently brain full of it (will probably forget to change this lmfao)

writing (especially about ttrpg blorbos)/storytelling + character analysis

music. just music in general. but talk to me abt ghost and pals + vane lily especially

speedruns + history thereof

avatar: the last airbender

undertale, deltarune, and undertale yellow + theorizing about them

mario games + spin-offs

psychology

honestly science in general

language learning (jp)

ace attorney

final fantasy XIV (still working through 6.0 hahaha help)

ttrpgs

animal crossing (new leaf + new horizons)

stardew valley

the sims (especially 2+3)

project mili

pizza tower

definitely not everything. but a lot of things. and if you like those things. bats my lashes at you. hi.

tags

(again this isn't all of them bc i have a terrible memory. consider this a WIP and an optional read.)

-> general

#; the citrus speaks - one fruit talks too much (i.e., posts that i made myself or added to)

#; the citrus answers - might be a bit presumptuous but one fruit answers asks

#; citrus jams - one fruit subjects you to their music taste (threat)

#; reblog + #; i'd do anything for queue - reblogs and queued posts

#; lemon's inane ramblings - rambles in the tags OR a post that's not really a thesis and is just me going bananas

#; lemon thesis moment - i will inevitably forget that i have a writing/ttrpg account so this is for character analysis rambles

-> media/other interests

#; the ttrpg tag(tm) - The TTRPG Tag™

#; the pen is mightier! - writing tag

#; gay-ce attorney - ace attorney. mostly narumitsu, hence the name

#; critically acclaimed mmorpg - ffxiv

#; stardews and stardon'ts - stardew valley

#; everything changed when the fire nation attacks - atla

#; DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS - the amazing cigital circus

#; i don't go here (but you do and ily) - things my friends really enjoy + rb about a lot that i may not know shit about but still enjoy their enjoyment of

-> characters + ships

#; this bard needs therapy - yaevinn baines of posada tag

#; healing hands - nithvinn (yaevinn and his partner, nithral) tag

#; cryophobia - vian tag

#; sunsnow - vinkaide (vian and their partner, kinkaide) tag

-> misc

#; love women and love loving women - local lesbian loves women in a queer way. in other news, every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

again, there are more—like a lot more—and eventually this will be a definitive list with links and shit which is why it's at the bottom, but i'm forgetful

#; the citrus speaks

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magic-is-something-we-create · 1 year ago

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K'RON ISA** - The Millennium Saga [Firebreathers ; Echoseers ; Goddess-Touched]

Eventually, threads of wine-red vines grow into twisting thorned stems and the sharp claw-like leaves I saw over and over again throughout my schooling–law in Impalfahr, medicine in Tal'Ren. Bloodvine. It grows naturally out of fallen carcasses in the shade of the Godwoods. Poisonous leaves, a stem used in popular leisure drug mixes and simple painkillers. Too much, and your body will sprout the vines after burial, if you’re lucky. They’ll start growing in your still-breathing lungs, if you’re not. I never did like the idea of using it to ease the pain of the sick. Actaea made me take it when feverish anyway.

** Note: You'll see him referred to as Isa K'Ron as well; while "K'Ron" is a title in Sieril, it's treated like a surname in the Maelands. As a major political person in both places, he refers to himself interchangeably. I chose this configuration for the intro because he sees Sieril as home.

Basics:

He/him - gender? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wasn't raised with them

Pansexual, Polyamorous - 22 (~24 on Earth)

Rill Ehlf - Flesh Mage

Mute; uses Language-Assisted Signs

Where he begins:

When we first meet Isa, we don't know it. But his pocket's just been picked, and it's going to be again.

We first hear about him when Annie gossips about the nobility in Impalfahr and mentions the banished son and grandson of General Actaea K'Ron, and how her granddaughter was supposedly kidnapped by them--an accusation that would allow her to kill them if found.

His father, Emerald--or Elar, in Sieril, the place Isa really thinks of as home--has taken it upon himself to aid in the Arish rebellion. But as Actaea's already proven time and time again, she does not hold back when it comes to punishment.

Even for her kin, who are just as much the descendants of an Eternal as she is. And that Eternal loves them far more than she ever will.

What he finds himself confronting:

Though he has formal training, Isa is not a fighter. That alone was worthy of a beating in Actaea's mind.

But he doesn't want to be running from her for the rest of his life, either. Not when it puts his newfound friends in danger, and his sister at the center of a target.

Especially when he starts to realize that Actaea's not just after them--she's after something only three people in the world hold answers to, and it could spell destruction.

Important connections:

Family: K'Ron Actaea (grandmother; disowned), Elar (father), and Lakia. Eternal Rillmother Veratrum (32nd generation grandchild). Lu'Syr Typha. Dai'Ven Wisteria (deceased).

Friends: Ember and Nimbus Timber, Gab and Annie Meywin, Xavi NoFather, Magnolia Adisa, and Eternal Arthur Shieldstone.

Enemies: K'Ron Actaea (abusive), Artrix and Ranina Palm (Citylord and -lady of Aree), House Polaris (a royal Mae house with a contentious relationship).

MUSIC

Themes - EDEN.Waltz by Kevin Penkin, Song of Storms by ROZEN, For the Rest of Our Days by Adriel Fair

Vibes - Hiding In The Blue by TheFatRat and RIELL, The Sweetest Words by Vian Izak, Promiseland by MIKA

#writeblr #character intro #wip intro #original writing #original character #the millennium saga #tms intros #snip #my.art

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vianthemindelectric · 1 year ago

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I made a drawing while at school where Vel (I think that was that one guardian's name?) held Moachow (while he was in his smaller form) upwards on the roof of the resort... Mimicking that one lion king scene

I have no regrets

Okay I have to admit that is a pretty funny image to imagine

#also it’s veil #vian answers

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theamalgaverse · 2 years ago

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Wait how do you feel about his appearance in Strive?

Although I like Faust no matter what iteration, personally I’m more partial to Strive the most! Even with his goofiness I’ve always seen him as disheveled in one way or another, and I’m glad Strive provided the design-

#answering the inbox #off topic #shepard/vian here!#faust guilty gear #miraculous oddity - faust

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gralunaisland · 2 years ago

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Gruvians saying juvia has had a "tremendous amount of growth since joining Fairy Tail" never fail to make me laugh. Happy had more character development than her. Also, they really should look up the definition of 'obsessive', because she literally embodies that word. Honestly there isn't much to her character, aside from lusting for Gray. I guess the main reason she's popular is because she's 'attractive'? I really don't see any other reason this kind of character would have such a massive fanbase.

Examples of juvia Lacking Character Growth, and Why People Might Like her

This is the oldest ask I have at the moment, so thank you very much for your patience, Anon, and I apologize that I haven't been able to answer this in a while!

I agree with you on all points! You made some great ones. I'll respond to each!

It's pretty hilarious that some Pro gr///vians truly believe that juvia is a much, if at all, better person now than who she was before. she seriously hasn't gotten any less obsessive over the years. If anything, I believe the more we see of her, the more she gets worse. Anyway, I could probably pick apart any instance of "character development" that a Pro might try to use as proof. Here's a couple:

juvia killing herself for Gray? Look no further than this post of mine where I explain this in more detail. she lacks utter agency and will to live outside of Gray, so her life is quite literally worthless to her if she doesn't have Gray, and therefore it's not her being selfless in taking her self-made-meaningless life when she didn't have a self in the first place.

juvia apologizing to Gray for killing the necromancer who controlled Gray's already dead dad? I've already picked apart how that was utter manipulation and disingenuousness on her part in many of my posts, so I'll summarize here:

First, juvia never actually apologizes (literally, go back and read the panels, she never ONCE said even something as simple as SORRY).

Second, juvia makes everything about herself by saying essentially "I don't deserve to love you anymore", as if this had ANYTHING to do with her "love" of Gray when in reality all it had to do with was her doing her FRICKING DUTY by KILLING THE ENEMY. What's more, she's sobbing in that scene not because of any sympathy for Gray losing his father again. she's literally only doing that because she feels she's somehow lost Gray's good graces, that by doing this she doesn't get to give her abusive love to Gray anymore, that she's somehow lost her nonexistent chance to be with him. This scene should not have been about her at all, and yet of course, she's only focusing on the one thing that is in her life, her obsession with Gray against his wishes.

Third, she also stalked him to Silver's grave. Gray didn't tell anyone about it, and yet of course she follows him without his permission or knowledge as per usual. To her, Gray has no right to privacy.

Fourth, her pseudo-apology (which again wasn't one) went right out the window (she literally starts blushing and stops crying and hugs him and says he's warm. Uh. Crocodile tears anyone? Clearly all she cares about is skin-ship with her Gray-sama. she didn't look the least bit concerned that he was crying) once Gray clasped her, breaking down into tears and apologizing to her. What did he do??? she's really broken him so badly that she manages to make her "uwu I'm so sad I don't get to uwu love you anymore" into the most heartbreaking heartfelt apology Gray's ever heard. That amount of emotional and psychological manipulation, even if not on purpose, is absolutely despicable. she's making him feel EVEN WORSE. Remember, Gray is at his father's grave, and she doesn't care. she invades his private time for grieving and centers everything on her abusive passion for him. And Gray is too screwed up to realize how awful of a human being she is for doing so. she's literally making her self-imposed guilt more important than his trauma and making it his problem. I cannot overstate how horrible that is. she doesn't feel bad for Gray grieving his dad or even crying right now in front of her whatsoever, because now that Gray's made it clear that he doesn't hold her accountable for killing the evil necromancer, she has no reason to feel sad anymore. she never once felt real guilt, she just mourned what she was losing. This is the same thing as a kid only apologizing to their mom for breaking a vase just so they can go to that birthday party they wanted to attend. her "apology" was a means to an end, and she absolutely obtained that end.

Fifth, and one of the most damning things against her in this scene, and that's saying a lot, juvia doesn't change her behavior at all after this pathetic excuse of an apology. Throughout the rest of the story, she continues her unwanted, extreme, intrusive behavior towards Gray. she doesn't change one darn thing about how she treats him. (And it continues all the way even through 100YQ [which of course I don't include in the FT canon, but Pros do, so I shall include it here], only from what I've seen, which thankfully isn't much, it may somehow be even worse). If she were really sorry, she would've decided to stop loving Gray regardless of if he forgave her. she didn't take any convincing that what she did was guiltless. I can't believe (but I can because it's juvia we're talking about here) that she wouldn't take any of the meager amount of time that she felt bad to self-reflect on how her actions have negatively affected Gray. Whom am I kidding, that would require character growth, and we all who aren't blind can tell that she's had absolutely none beyond leaving Phantom Lord, and even that was just because she had a crush on Gray, not because she wanted to apologize to FT or Lucy for all the egregious things she did to them.

If anyone has other instances they want me to break down, feel free to comment them or send me an ask! I don't want to make this impossibly long haha.

Anyway, onto your next point, Anon, as I sort of mentioned when linking my other post, I totally agree with you that "there isn't much to her character, aside from lusting for Gray". I would even go as far as to argue that there isn't anything to her character beyond her perverted tendencies towards him. Literally, if you strip Gray away from her theoretically, what is she? she has no hobbies, she basically has no friends whom she's gone out of her way to make and hang out with (because yes, Mashima made the stupid move of making all the girls in FT like her for literally zero reason because she's been hostile to most of them on the basis of Gray), she has no motivations or hopes and dreams. she is nothing without Gray. she is the definition of a "satellite character", a character written to only revolve around another one with no agency of their own. Don’t forget, she even began to adopt Gray’s habit (and perhaps trauma coping mechanism) of stripping. she lacks THAT much self that she begins to turn into the guy she likes. Wow. Disgusting.

Onto your last point, I think I'd agree with you, that a big reason why juvia is popular is just because people like how she looks. But she's the very typical slim-curvy woman with a huge chest and butt and giant eyes that Mashima loves to draw. There's nothing wrong with that body type, but it's not like she looks that different from anyone else in the show because of that, especially since she kept changing her looks to try to get Gray to like her and literally grew her hair out and stopped curling it to look more like Lucy, someone who is Gray's type canonically. she even starts to show more skin like the others, a far cry from the completely covered up Rain Woman. Perhaps they like her color scheme or her dead-fish eyes as well. I couldn't understand it myself, but to each their own really.

I personally thought that the biggest reason why people liked her was because they projected themselves onto her. juvia does what juvia wants, completely self-centered in every way, ignoring Gray's consent, and yet she still comes out on top, having secured poor Gray's affections by the time of 100YQ thanks to Mashima's poor writing. juvia acts however she wants towards other people, snarling and glaring and insulting other women in Gray's life to their faces just because of her inane jealousy, and yet she somehow ends up every single girl’s friend. juvia acts insane and delusional and has only eyes for one man, and yet she gets other people to hit on her all the time, most notably Lyon.

Who wouldn't want to act completely selfishly like juvia does and still gain everything you desire? Who wouldn't want to ignore everyone else's needs and wants and only care about yourself and still get all the attention and all the power and all the love and all the friends and all your dreams come true?

Sounds like such an easy, fun life, huh? But it's a totally self-absorbed and awful way to live, and it's exactly how juvia lives.

My guess is that people use her as a self-insert character and root for her in their own stead, but I think that's very subconscious, and most wouldn't admit to that. Otherwise, I would really love to see how people justify her behavior as laudable, but then again, I have seen those attempts, and none of them have made any real logical sense to me.

All in all, thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask! I hope I answered it properly, and I appreciate you waiting so long!

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