#via swirl sans

[fantasblog]

Here's via swirl and pastel colors doodles.

Edit: I love pastel colors "scary face"-

*cough*

Characters:

-via swirl (cavi x aaron shipchild) by me

-pastel colors (arbol) (an poly star sanses shipchild/combo) by Me

[minisugakoobies]

Best friend’s bro trying to cheer OC up when they come home

🥺🥺🥺 Oh my god, YES, that is definitely something San would do!

So here's 700+ words about it. No warnings, other than PINING oh my god the pining!

******

Meetings with your editor are never your favorite thing. But today's meeting was especially stressful, given all the "cutting back" going on at work. The staff size is shrinking and you feel like your neck is on the chopping block.

It feels like you've run the gauntlet by the time you get home. Mentally exhausted, back aching from holding yourself upright so rigidly during the meeting, trying to look interested, like a good employee.

But to get into your apartment, you need a key, and right now, yours appears to have fallen into the Bermuda Triangle via your purse. Swearing profusely, you dig through your bag for a few minutes, before finally finding what you need.

The door opens, then stops suddenly, like there's a weight on the other side. "What the f-"

Nero greets you. Not on the ground. In the air.

You take a step back, baffled laughter leaving your lips. Your black cat is suspended in the crack of the doorway, bright green eyes blinking at you in similar confusion, San's hands gently wrapped around his middle. Around Nero's neck is his little fish-spotted bowtie, the one that makes him look like a proper gentleman.

"Nero?"

“Mrow?” 

"Good afternoon, sajangnim," San's voice says from behind the door. He shifts Nero slightly, like he's snapping to attention. "Welcome home."

"Thank you," you giggle, giving Nero a chin scritch. You push on the door slightly, and San steps back, bringing Nero into his arms.

"Hi Noona," he grins. HIs fingers stroke the back of Nero's neck, which is one of Nero's favorite spots. Which San knows now, too. He and Nero are inseparable. 

“When did Nero get a job as our doorman?” you ask, sliding your shoes off before slipping into your house shoes. 

“Just today. And he’s doing such a good job, isn’t he?” San rubs Nero’s ears, earning a loud rumble in return. “Yes, he is.” 

It’s too cute, the way San fawns over your cat. Like he knows Nero has a piece of your heart. So he protects him. Protects it. 

It’s too cute and it’s too much to think about. 

You don’t lay down so much as collapse onto your couch, a loose pile of bones sprawling across the cushions. San takes a spot on the floor, leaning back against the couch. Nero leaps from San’s arms up onto your legs, where he proceeds to bake biscuits in the meat of your thigh. 

“Where’s Haneul?” you ask. Normally when San’s sister is working third shift, she’s up by now, zoning out in front of the tv until she has to get ready for work. 

“Jongho took her out for breakfast slash dinner,” San informs you. “Just me and Nero home.” 

“Well, good thing he’s here to keep you in line. And he got a promotion today, so I think someone’s earned an extra treat tonight.” Nero’s purring grows, ears pricking up at the word ‘treat.’ 

San passes you the remote. He watches you scroll through your Netflix queue for a few minutes. As your fingers run over Nero’s smooth coat, you wonder idly if San’s hair feels as soft as it looks. 

“What about me?” San tips his head back, letting it rest on the cushion beneath your hips while he glances at you. “It was my idea to make him doorman.” 

He pouts, but not his usual pout, not the one that makes you want to give him everything in the world, but a comic pout, bottom lip stretched to its limit, meant to do nothing more than to make you giggle. Which it does.

“Why’d you do that, anyway?”

Something shifts in San’s eyes.

“You said this morning that you had a meeting today. I remember how stressed you were after the last two. So when I heard you in the hall, cursing like a sailor, I figured maybe you could use a laugh.”

“Oh.” Looks like San knows other things now, too. “Oh, yeah, that’s - I did have a meeting. And it sucked. So, um, thanks.” Too many emotions swirl through you, your voice shrinking as you speak, unsure how to express how you feel. Or if you even should. “I appreciate it.” 

“Of course.” When he smiles, your chest physically aches. “Anything to see you smile, Noona.” 

There goes another piece of your heart.

*********

Previous installments of bff's lil bro San: one two three four

Tagging a few people who I think are interested @moni-logues @kiestrokes @augustbutwinter @sweetnspicy-noona @krystal-a @yeontan-my-love

[quiethopesadoptioncenter]

September Bitties

Introducing the newest set of bitties to join QHAC for September!

Applewood (Cheesetale Asriel) Named for their smoky scent, Applewood bitties are primarily pale yellow-furred bitties with orange splotches all over their body in a cou clair pattern. They also have hair in addition to fur, which is more orange than blonde though it does feature some pale yellow patches here and there. With most Applewoods being young, they either do not have horns or are only starting to have their horns grow in. They are soft-hearted but not good judges of character, willing to trust those who shouldn't be trusted. These young Applewoods aren't quite masters of fire magic yet, able to only create smoke which they will use either for dramatic entry or to hide when they're feeling shy (in some cases even both). The older ones often develop a more solid frame reminiscent of their fathers' side, though not quite as tall when they hit adulthood. An Applewood's favorite food generally tends to be cheese tarts with honey, though there are some variants; others prefer cheddar-baked biscuits instead.

Friulano (Cheesetale Flowey) Easily the tallest of the Pocket Flowey types at a whopping four inches tall, Friulanos are recognized via their pale yellowish-white petals, thick stem, and sturdy leaves. Due to their sturdy nature, they can go long periods without eating or drinking should they happen to wind up out in the wild for whatever reason. They have a faint nutty smell to them reminiscent of hazelnuts, and typically a rather down-to-earth sort of personality. However, they tend to get quite angry and resentful when disappointed; their anger comes out in snappish remarks and petty albeit often personal insults. They can be pacified with cheesy offerings, especially of their namesake, though they strongly dislike anything with visible mold in it or on it (such as blue cheeses) and equally non-receptive to sour-scented or sour-flavored food. Friulano types can't exactly cook, but they'll never refuse a good grilled cheese. These bitties also prefer to be mobile, though it's recommended to keep an eye on them as they possess trouble-making tendencies.

Swirls (Megalosomnia Sans) Extremely intelligent and ambitious, these bitties often tend to be workaholics. They are incapable of sleeping, resulting in perpetual exhaustion yet despite their best efforts they aren't capable of taking naps quite so easily as other Sans types (something which they are secretly envious of). Like many others, they have a very close relationship with their brothers and will ensure said sibling's happiness regardless of what measures they might have to take. Swirls bitties have quite potent hypnosis magic which they will utilize frequently unless told otherwise (and sometimes even if they are told, if they feel that their brother is in danger). They can hold multiple monsters under their thrall at once, though not quite so many as their larger counterpart. Swirls bitties do have an air of superiority that can rub other bitties the wrong way at times, but to their credit they do have the confidence as well as the knowledge to back it up. Swirls types have a rather macabre sense of humor, and rarely make puns.

Gene (Megalosomnia Papyrus) Well-versed in political matters and quite competent in quelling conflicts that escalate into physical fights, Gene bitties are quite strong. They don't sleep much, but more so than their brothers. However, they don't spend as much time together with said brothers as other Papyrus types might due to their brothers being workaholics (which often results in Gene bitties becoming quite lonely and mourning about how busy their brothers are). Despite their strength, these Bittybones are still averse to using violence when they can avoid it and will often instead separate the two parties via whatever means necessary until they can calm down and won't hesitate to use blue magic to achieve this feat. They also tend to be worriers, especially when it comes to their brothers' welfare, and while not the greatest of cooks they won't hesitate to bring their brothers meals if they skip out for whatever reason. It's not uncommon for Genes to be quite fond of dogs.

(Megalosomnia belongs to @megalommi on Tumblr, go check them out for more info on the AU!)

[chrisryanspeaks]

Mr. Gnome Unleashes Psychedelic Masterpiece 'A Sliver of Space' with Ferocious New Single 'Fader'

Pushing the boundaries of sonic exploration, Cleveland art-rock duo Mr. Gnome crafts a vibrant, ever-changing realm of psychedelic orchestration on their eagerly anticipated LP, *A Sliver of Space*, slated for release on September 27th via El Marko Records. Following the release of their first single, "Nothing and Everything," Mr. Gnome unveils the new single "Fader" —a colossal track that tears through its seven-minute runtime with relentless ferocity and a full-on sonic assault. Check out "Fader" on YouTube, and see below for the most up-to-date list of North American fall tour dates. Pre-order the vinyl and CD, and find it on Bandcamp. "We had just finished mixing our album and were about to send it off for mastering when this song crept into our brains. We fell in love with the heavy, gritty vibe and the contrasting gooey vocals, and kept pushing this song as far as we could take it," they explain. "Our brother and longtime collaborator/touring guitarist/bassist, Jonah Meister, added lead guitars that dance around the vocals, including a breakneck improvised solo. Combining our love of The Stooges, Black Sabbath, Joy Division, and 90s shoegaze, we had a ton of fun writing this one." Mixed by Claudius Mittendorfer (Interpol, Tennis, Temples, Panic! At The Disco, Parquet Courts, Ra Ra Riot), *A Sliver of Space* bursts with hypnotic, gritty rock anthems that suddenly give way to long-form, drug-fueled journeys, transporting the listener on a surreal trip from start to finish. Mr. Gnome continues to defy simple genre classification, creating a dense tapestry of textures, aural fabrics, and influences that coalesce into a unique, defining sound. Throughout its relatively compact runtime, electronica, desert rock, punk, indie rock, and lush soundscapes swirl and converge, all woven with the continuous thread of lead singer/guitarist Nicole Barille’s golden harmonies. "When we started writing *A Sliver of Space*," they recount, "we were working through a lot of personal loss and life upheaval. Lyrically and musically, nothing was off limits, and we dove headfirst into exploring the liminal, dreamlike spaces between life and death, consciousness and unconsciousness, the past and the future, happiness and sadness, the real and the make-believe. This album is essentially about our descent into madness and our ultimate salvation through love." Since 2005, Barille and drummer/pianist Sam Meister have been crafting a vision of expansive, technicolor art-rock, receiving critical acclaim from the likes of Rolling Stone (named "Band To Watch" in a spotlight review), Pitchfork, NPR, Paste, Esquire, Spin, Magnet, MTV, KEXP, and American Songwriter, among others. Beyond their fully realized sonic presentation, Mr. Gnome has a rich history of producing head-turning DIY visuals, including otherworldly album covers, artistic press photography, and mind-bending short films. Don't miss out on experiencing Mr. Gnome’s extraordinary musical journey and visual artistry as they tour this fall below and their video for “Fader”: Mr. Gnome - Fall 2024 Tour Dates 08/24 • Lexington, KY • Expansion Music Fest • The Burl 09/27 • Wheeling, WV • Waterfront Hall 09/28 • Frostburg, MD • The Deep End 10/01 • Washington, D.C. • Pie Shop 10/02 • Asheville, NC • Sly Grog Lounge 10/03 • Atlanta, GA • Smith's Olde Bar (Atlanta Room) 10/04 • Pensacola, FL • The Handlebar 10/05 • Adams, TN • Spoopy Festival 10/08 • St. Louis, MO • The Platypus 10/09 • Grand Rapids, MI • Pyramid Scheme 10/10 • Madison, WI • Gamma Ray Bar 10/11 • Columbus, OH • Ace of Cups 10/12 • Dayton, OH • Dayton 20th Music Fest - Blind Bob’s 10/14 • Kansas City, MO • Sister Anne’s Records and Coffee 10/15 • Denver, CO • Lost Lake 10/16 • Salt Lake City, UT • The DLC 10/17 • Boise, ID • Shrine Social Club (Basement) 10/18 • Portland, OR • Star Theater 10/19 • Seattle, WA • Sunset Tavern 10/22 • San Francisco, CA • Bottom of the Hill 10/23 • Los Angeles, CA • Permanent Records Roadhouse 10/25 • Tucson, AZ • 191 Toole 10/26 • Albuquerque, NM • TBA 10/28 • Dallas, TX • TBA 10/29 • Austin, TX • Hotel Vegas 11/01 • Chicago, IL • Beat Kitchen 11/02 • Cleveland, OH • Beachland Ballroom Read the full article

[audiofuzz]

Mr. Gnome Unleashes Psychedelic Masterpiece 'A Sliver of Space' with Ferocious New Single 'Fader'

Pushing the boundaries of sonic exploration, Cleveland art-rock duo Mr. Gnome crafts a vibrant, ever-changing realm of psychedelic orchestration on their eagerly anticipated LP, *A Sliver of Space*, slated for release on September 27th via El Marko Records. Following the release of their first single, "Nothing and Everything," Mr. Gnome unveils the new single "Fader" —a colossal track that tears through its seven-minute runtime with relentless ferocity and a full-on sonic assault. Check out "Fader" on YouTube, and see below for the most up-to-date list of North American fall tour dates. Pre-order the vinyl and CD, and find it on Bandcamp. "We had just finished mixing our album and were about to send it off for mastering when this song crept into our brains. We fell in love with the heavy, gritty vibe and the contrasting gooey vocals, and kept pushing this song as far as we could take it," they explain. "Our brother and longtime collaborator/touring guitarist/bassist, Jonah Meister, added lead guitars that dance around the vocals, including a breakneck improvised solo. Combining our love of The Stooges, Black Sabbath, Joy Division, and 90s shoegaze, we had a ton of fun writing this one." Mixed by Claudius Mittendorfer (Interpol, Tennis, Temples, Panic! At The Disco, Parquet Courts, Ra Ra Riot), *A Sliver of Space* bursts with hypnotic, gritty rock anthems that suddenly give way to long-form, drug-fueled journeys, transporting the listener on a surreal trip from start to finish. Mr. Gnome continues to defy simple genre classification, creating a dense tapestry of textures, aural fabrics, and influences that coalesce into a unique, defining sound. Throughout its relatively compact runtime, electronica, desert rock, punk, indie rock, and lush soundscapes swirl and converge, all woven with the continuous thread of lead singer/guitarist Nicole Barille’s golden harmonies. "When we started writing *A Sliver of Space*," they recount, "we were working through a lot of personal loss and life upheaval. Lyrically and musically, nothing was off limits, and we dove headfirst into exploring the liminal, dreamlike spaces between life and death, consciousness and unconsciousness, the past and the future, happiness and sadness, the real and the make-believe. This album is essentially about our descent into madness and our ultimate salvation through love." Since 2005, Barille and drummer/pianist Sam Meister have been crafting a vision of expansive, technicolor art-rock, receiving critical acclaim from the likes of Rolling Stone (named "Band To Watch" in a spotlight review), Pitchfork, NPR, Paste, Esquire, Spin, Magnet, MTV, KEXP, and American Songwriter, among others. Beyond their fully realized sonic presentation, Mr. Gnome has a rich history of producing head-turning DIY visuals, including otherworldly album covers, artistic press photography, and mind-bending short films. Don't miss out on experiencing Mr. Gnome’s extraordinary musical journey and visual artistry as they tour this fall below and their video for “Fader”: Mr. Gnome - Fall 2024 Tour Dates 08/24 • Lexington, KY • Expansion Music Fest • The Burl 09/27 • Wheeling, WV • Waterfront Hall 09/28 • Frostburg, MD • The Deep End 10/01 • Washington, D.C. • Pie Shop 10/02 • Asheville, NC • Sly Grog Lounge 10/03 • Atlanta, GA • Smith's Olde Bar (Atlanta Room) 10/04 • Pensacola, FL • The Handlebar 10/05 • Adams, TN • Spoopy Festival 10/08 • St. Louis, MO • The Platypus 10/09 • Grand Rapids, MI • Pyramid Scheme 10/10 • Madison, WI • Gamma Ray Bar 10/11 • Columbus, OH • Ace of Cups 10/12 • Dayton, OH • Dayton 20th Music Fest - Blind Bob’s 10/14 • Kansas City, MO • Sister Anne’s Records and Coffee 10/15 • Denver, CO • Lost Lake 10/16 • Salt Lake City, UT • The DLC 10/17 • Boise, ID • Shrine Social Club (Basement) 10/18 • Portland, OR • Star Theater 10/19 • Seattle, WA • Sunset Tavern 10/22 • San Francisco, CA • Bottom of the Hill 10/23 • Los Angeles, CA • Permanent Records Roadhouse 10/25 • Tucson, AZ • 191 Toole 10/26 • Albuquerque, NM • TBA 10/28 • Dallas, TX • TBA 10/29 • Austin, TX • Hotel Vegas 11/01 • Chicago, IL • Beat Kitchen 11/02 • Cleveland, OH • Beachland Ballroom Read the full article

[queerworldtravelers]

Palermo, Sicily - Part 3

38°07'55" N, 13°20'8" E

The warm weather brings Palermo to life:

As we exited the airplane we noticed that the air has started to warm since we were last in Palermo. Our minds skillfully replayed the route from plane to train to cobbled streets. Our feet carried us across the much busier streets, no need for maps this time. The keys collected from a lovely writer on the Via Roma to unlock our small slice of solace in the Ballarò. Ballarò, meaning I will dance, how beautiful and telling of our return to this place. This time we will dance as this city of infinite secrets begins to unravel just a little more. We are beginning to speak her language and are starting to understand. We returned just in time to witness the beginning of many holidays including Eid al-Fitr which rendered the Ballarò a very quiet place and La Festa della Liberazione, or Liberation Day: a day that commemorates the total liberation of Italy in 1946.

An adventure to say hello to our dear Antonella unveiled a stunning coastline and the mechanisms of beach going in Italy. Unlike in Hawai’i where the beach should not be owned, here you can buy a seat on the sand for the day. In the distance the Torre delle Mandre inspires stories of centuries past from the brilliant mind of our friend, the archaeologist. Porticello is a quick train ride away and we wandered back home through the market catching the last of the day’s swordfish and hopscotching over the small rivers of torn and rotten ends swirling towards the street gutter. 

Krystal will forever be inspired by the work of Richard Avedon and when we saw that the Galleria d'Arte Moderna in Palermo had a show we immediately made our way there. There is no photographic experience in the world that compares to standing in front of a giant silver gelatin print of Avedon’s work. The prints will always be traditional because there is no Epson printer on earth that compares to the magic of a silver halide print, especially not a print made from a 4X5 negative. Swoon. The show did not disappoint and after so many months away from home it was fun to be surrounded by American faces.  

The city of Bagheria held an event to celebrate I segreti della terra (the Secret of the Earth) at the Villa Cattolica. Antonella let us know about the event and we pulled out our best outfits and made our way to the celebration. From what we could gather through Google Translate and the buzz around the event a fellow named Mario Tozzi has an absolute ton of gems and minerals he has collected from around the world and the City of Bagheria wants to start a science museum. Many very important men spoke about the importance of science, technology, mathematics, and engineering for the youth and Krystal was flashed back to her days as an education consultant. The gems and minerals were impressive and we got to meet the Mayor of Bagheria, Filippo Tripoli! After the event we stopped in to Friggitoria Sirchia for an epic pile of arancini, panelle, and croquettes all washed down with a birra moretti.  

On a wander around the neighborhood we stumbled into the Chiesa di San Giovanni degli Eremiti. It is a stunning house of worship and a part of Arab-Norman Palermo and the Cathedral Churches of Cefalú and Monreale. Given the epic history of conquest in Sicily the places of worship have served many denominations. Arab construction meets Christian renovations and Latin Crosses. The whole mash up is truly fascinating and we are grateful that folks just sort of added on to the old buildings instead of destroying them to build new. Crowned with red domes that would be at home in Baghdad or Damascus, we highly recommend a visit here over the Chiesa di San Cataldo which seems to have a longer line every day as summer gets closer. The stroll through the garden is also a wonderful gift to the senses and a welcome respite from the city streets. 

We were so excited to discover Il Genio, a three weekend festival that opened up the geniuses throughout Palermo. The patron Saint of Palermo, in partnership with Santa Rosalia, the Genius of Palermo is depicted as an austere old man who has at his feet a dog a symbol of fidelity and, wrapped around his arm, a snake and emblem of continuous rebirth. Our weekends were filled with super cool adventures and started with a visit to see photographic treasures that survived the war at Casa Museo della fotografia “Matilde Incorpora.” The lineal descendants of famed Auguste Lumière, one of the inventors of the cinematograph, have a studio tucked at the very top of many, many stairs. They were excited to share the treasures of their family collection. The air was warm and laden with the smell of photographic chemicals and the shelves were brimming with photographic treasures. 

The next weekend we headed to our local library: Biblioteca comunale di Casa Professa “Leonardo Sciascia.” A 263 year old library…no big deal. A pair of university students took us on a personal tour of the space. We assume not everyone is as excited about libraries as we are, and it was stunning. The bookshelves are adorned with over 300 portraits of famous folks from Sicilian history. The best part - it is a real functioning library and we plan to go back to do some research. 

Just down the street, the Archivio Storico Comunale also had their doors open for a tour. Another personal tour with a brilliant university student revealed the intricacies of the building where records from 1200 to the mid 20th century are stored. The sheer volume of paperwork housed on the shelves is staggering. It is no wonder none of the records in Palermo are digitized - they just kept too much stuff! Wandering through the shelves and learning more about the history of the city was an absolute gift. We wrapped up our Il Genio adventures on a passeggiata, or evening walk, led by Igor Gelarda from Villa Giulia where we uncovered the 16 Geniuses of Palermo. It was a super fun stroll through the city with a lot of folks. We are grateful for the magic of Google Translate which enabled us to read the whole tour in English as Igor talked. 

Another lovely discovery in the neighborhood was Parco d'Orleans. A gorgeous oasis of green dotted with roses and the only ornithological park in Italy. The best part is the whole thing is free. We will definitely be back with notebooks and coffee just to soak up the expanse of green and totally wild collection of birds. 

Our first order of business was securing a grocery cart which the cobblestones in the neighborhood quickly proved to be a formidable challenge. The best way to make space for the occasional arancini is to pummel a grocery cart across uneven terrain and then carry your groceries up six flights of stairs. In fact, we would take this trek over a Kona Costco run any day! We also found an absolutely epic cafe called Tèco (thank you Riccardo) and have been enjoying a change in scenery while pumping out lots of projects. 

We imagine one could spend a lifetime in Palermo discovering new things. We are beyond grateful for the opportunity to return with new eyes to this ancestral place for Krystal. Speaking of ancestors, we found her great grandmother’s birth record. Proof that everything in Palermo, abandoned or not, belongs here.

[moochilatv]

Mr. Gnome presents: Nothing and Everything

Mr. Gnome’s swirling “Nothing and Everything” is a lush soundscape that spotlights Barille’s golden harmonies & demonstrates the dense tapestry of textures, aural fabrics, and influences subsumed.

On Wednesday (26 of june 2024), Cleveland art-rock duo Mr. Gnome will be announcing their new album A Sliver of Space out September 27th via El Marko Records. While always pushing themselves in their pursuit of sonic exploration, the duo of Nicole Barille and Sam Miester, create a living, breathing, shapeshifting realm of psychedelic sounds. The album is mixed by Claudius Mittendorfer (Interpol, Tennis, Temples, Parquet Courts, Ra Ra Riot).

The swirling first single “Nothing and Everything,” which is a lush soundscape that spotlights Barille’s golden harmonies and demonstrates the growing confidence that duo has made in the studio since their last album, 2020’s The Day You Flew Away. They will be announcing full North American tour for the fall as well. 

Continuing to defy simple genre classification, Mr. Gnome create a dense tapestry of textures, aural fabrics, and influences that all coalesce into a unique, defining sound. Throughout its relatively compact runtime, electronica, desert rock, psych, indie rock, and lush soundscapes swirl and converge. They’ve received acclaim from the likes of Rolling Stone (named "Band To Watch" in a spotlight review), NPR, Consequence, Paste, Esquire, Spin, Magnet, MTV, KEXP, and more.

Mr. Gnome - Fall 2024 Tour Dates

08/24 • Lexington, KY • Expansion Music Fest • The Burl

09/27 • Wheeling, WV • Waterfront Hall 

09/28 • Frostburg, MD • The Deep End

10/01 • Washington, D.C. • Pie Shop

10/04 • Pensacola, FL • The Handlebar

10/05 • Adams, TN • Spoopy Festival

10/08 • St. Louis, MO • The Platypus

10/09 • Grand Rapids, MI • Pyramid Scheme

10/10 • Madison, WI • Gamma Ray Bar

10/11 • Columbus, OH • Ace of Cups

10/12 • Dayton, OH • Dayton 20th Music Fest - Blind Bob’s

10/14 • Kansas City, MO • Sister Anne’s Records and Coffee

10/15 • Denver, CO • Lost Lake 

10/16 • Salt Lake City, UT • The DLC

10/17 • Boise, ID • Shrine Social Club (Basement)

10/18 • Portland, OR • Star Theater

10/19 • Seattle, WA • Sunset Tavern

10/22 • San Francisco, CA • Bottom of the Hill

10/23 • Los Angeles, CA • Permanent Records Roadhouse

10/25 • Tucson, AZ • 191 Toole

10/26 • Albuquerque, NM • Juno Brewery

11/01 • Chicago, IL • Beat Kitchen

11/02 • Cleveland, OH • Beachland Ballroom 

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Listen in Spotify:

[screamingforyears]

SINGLE_FILE: // TOPOGRAPHIES “NIGHT SEA” @darkentriesrecords . //

@_topographies_ are back w/ a new single, the darkly skittered “NIGHT SEA” & word of their forthcoming LP titled ‘Interior Spring.’ The San Francisco-based trio of Justin Oronos, Jeremie Ruest & Gray Tolhurst have mercifully returned, gifting us the lead track from their highly anticipated sophomore effort, an offering that more than wets our Gothically hued appetite.  “Night Sea” finds Topographies in fine form while basking in their shrouded melancholy as Tolhurst’s vocal holds court amongst the psychedelia swirl of drum machine flicker, bass line drives & clarion call synths airing out in all their vaporous glory thx to @shaundurkan’s on point production.

Interior Spring drops 2/2 via Dark Entries Records.

[writer59january13]

Trawl tale of a fictitious seaman told to ye...

While on the topic

of blood kith and kin, I relate another

fabricated poem about

blimey bloke of a fisherman.

Courtesy webbed whirled wide net wit

cursing thwarted life,

liberty and pursuit of happiness if eavesdropper, you would discern

nasality – cause uvula split holed within mancave unit b44, a regular run of the mill hermit.

Any resemblance between

said character and living persons

purely (off fish shilly) coincidental

material scoured from dregs

of me muss held head.

I shore up a vignette to free my ("FAKE") grandfather Hymie, whose scrunched countenanced evinced beetle that of browed monkey

he spent his entire life at sea his thick calloused hands

and ruddy complexion reinforced non verbal body language voluminous tomes smoothed

nick holed money

to countless years

(spilling into decades)

exposed to salty spittle nee

where watery terrain spewed

raw elements piscine

art finest artisanal blended, crafted, nein mean feet resources dredged reluctantly

relinquished by mother nature mean craftily pared within

each trough and crest

found thee old man

with privateer mean

mien whose skin fiercely weatherbeaten

leathery and lean, epidermis tanned tough as rawhide, reptilian, prithee

chafed skin to me

not surprising, since

this mariner born,

bred and near lee

schooled within briny

deep ever since knee

high (or so he claimed truth

to swirling rumor), jovially

pleased that his purportedly

learnin' myth writ tik ne'r included NEVER settn' foot in formal classroom,

his knowledge icy

anecdotes aced, surpassed,

and trounced that of what he

referred to as grenadier landlubbers

green behind the ears – glee

fully jabbing with his

unsheathed scabbard play flea actually downplaying any exploits,

that didst educate him, 'ee

got taut learn'n survival skills asper

pre ponder hunt via

eddy fied tests frequently dee

siding a life or death outcome,

yet our Dickensian

mutually bonding friendship via shared exploits while

he dressed not in tatters, but self made clothes from cree

chores comfortable furs, and though

a striking appearance cut, ne'r did this ole codger (fit as a fiddle with tall slender build),

said middle aged man appeared quite becoming. An aura, charisma, dogma

amazingly graced stalwart, gestalt,

deportment aie

found added an air

of charming debonair,

esteeming flair, genteel heir

which tasked guessing years old, aye presumed him

to exit the uterine lair

at least a few score

tours round oblate sphere as aspect of youthfulness

played across his eyes one colored green

like a spring day in the country,

the other jetblue sans burnin'

man four score and seven pearl jam oyster cult year.

[icantbelieveitsnotmeta]

Weapons (Swords)

sigh

Wanna know the worst part about being broke? You can’t get the most aesthetically pleasing weapons.

Included in this list is all of the 3-star and 4-star swords in Genshin Impact (because 5-star weapons are for people with money) except for weapons obtained via Gnostic Hymn/Battle Pass or purchased with Starglitter.

Weapons in which the blueprints are obtained (or are simply obtained as-is) via World Quests (ex. the Aranara quest line), obtained via forging only, and event weapons will be in italics. All other weapons are either obtained via wishing or overworld activities such as opening chests. 

I will clarify which weapons are blueprints, obtained from quests, and which are event weapons. If they are available, I will also link guides to said quests.

Percentage and Flat stats apply to these to. (if you didn’t read the artifact stat guide, Flat always adds a set amount, Percentage adds a portion of a preexisting stat)

Also these stats are lvl90 and the abilities are R1

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cool Steel

Base ATK: 401

Substat: ATK 35.2%

Ability: Bane of Water and Ice

Increases DMG against opponents affected by Hydro or Cryo by 12%.

** **

Dark Iron Sword

Base ATK: 401

Substat: Elemental Mastery 141

Ability: Overloaded

Upon causing an Overloaded, Superconduct, Electro-Charged, Quicken, Aggravate, Hyperbloom, or Electro-infused Swirl reaction, ATK is increased by 20% for 12s.

** **

Fillet Blade

Base ATK: 401

Substat: ATK 35.2%

Ability: Gash

On hit, has 50% chance to deal 240% ATK DMG to a single enemy. Can only occur once every 15s.

** **

Harbinger of Dawn

Base ATK: 401

Substat: CRIT DMG 46.9%

Ability: Vigorous

When HP is above 90%, increases CRIT Rate by 14%.

** **

Skyrider Sword

Base ATK: 354

Substat: Energy Recharge 51.7%

Ability: Determination (sans would like to know your location)

Using an Elemental Burst grants a 12% increase in ATK and Movement SPD for 15s.

** **

Traveler's Handy Sword

Base ATK: 448

Substat: DEF 29.3%

Ability: Journey

Each Elemental Orb or Particle collected restores 1% HP.

** **

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alley Flash

Base ATK: 620

Substat: Elemental Mastery 55

Ability: Itinerant Hero

Increases DMG dealt by the character equipping this weapon by 12%. Taking DMG disables this effect for 5s

** **

Amenoma Kageuchi (obtained from the world quest The Farmer's Treasure)

Video

Base ATK: 454

Substat: ATK 55.1%

Ability: Iwakura Succession

After casting an Elemental Skill, gain 1 Succession Seed. This effect can be triggered once every 5s. The Succession Seed lasts for 30s. Up to 3 Succession Seeds may exist simultaneously. After using an Elemental Burst, all Succession Seeds are consumed and after 2s, the character regenerates 6 Energy for each seed consumed.

** **

Cinnabar Spindle (obtained from the Shadows Amidst Snowstorms event that took place in the 2.3 patch)

Base ATK: 454

Substat: DEF 69.0% (nice)

Ability: Spotless Heart

Elemental Skill DMG is increased by 40% of DEF. The effect will be triggered no more than once every 1.5s and will be cleared 0.1s after the Elemental Skill deals DMG.

** **

Favonius Sword

Base ATK: 454

Substat: Energy Recharge 61.3%

Ability: Windfall

CRIT hits have a 60% chance to generate a small amount of Elemental Particles, which will regenerate 6 Energy for the character. Can only occur once every 12s.

** **

Festering Desire (obtained from the The Chalk Prince and the Dragon event that took place in the 1.2 patch)

Base ATK: 510

Substat: Energy Recharge 45.9%

Ability: Undying Admiration

Increases Elemental Skill DMG by 16% and Elemental Skill CRIT Rate by 6%.

** **

Iron Sting (obtained via forging)

Base ATK: 510

Substat: Elemental Mastery 165

Ability: Infusion Stinger

Dealing Elemental DMG increases all DMG by 6% for 6s. Max 2 stacks. Can only occur once every 1s.

** **

Kagotsurube Isshin (obtained at the end of Kaedehara Kazuha's story quest)

Video

Base ATK: 510

Substat: ATK 41.3%

Ability: Isshin Art Clarity

When a Normal, Charged, or Plunging Attack hits an opponent, it will whip up a Hewing Gale, dealing AoE DMG equal to 180% of ATK and increasing ATK by 15% for 8s. This effect can be triggered once every 8s.

** **

Lion's Roar

Base ATK: 510

Substat: ATK 41.3%

Ability: Bane of Fire and Thunder

Increases DMG against enemies affected by Pyro or Electro by 20%.

** **

Prototype Rancour (obtained via forging)

Base ATK: 565

Substat: Physical DMG Bonus 34.5%

Ability: Smashed Stone

On hit, Normal or Charged Attacks increase ATK and DEF by 4% for 6s. Max 4 stacks. This effect can only occur once every 0.3s.

** **

Sacrificial Sword

Base ATK: 454

Substat: Energy Recharge 61.3%

Ability: Composed

After dealing damage to an opponent with an Elemental Skill, the skill has a 40% chance to end its own CD. Can only occur once every 30s.

** **

Sapwood Blade (obtained via the Aranyaka questline. After completing the quest, go to Sumeru’s Tree of Dreams and there will be an Aranara selling the blueprint)

Video

Base ATK: 565

Substat: Energy Recharge 30.6%

Ability: Forest Sanctuary

After triggering Burning, Quicken, Aggravate, Spread, Bloom, Hyperbloom, or Burgeon, a Leaf of Consciousness will be created around the character for a maximum of 10s. When picked up, the Leaf will grant the character 60 Elemental Mastery for 12s. Only 1 Leaf can be generated this way every 20s. This effect can still be triggered if the character is not on the field. The Leaf of Consciousness' effect cannot stack.

** **

Sword of Descension (god i hate version exclusives so fucking much) (obtainable to those who logged onto Genshin Impact any time on the PS4/PS5) (Note that it’s ability will not work on other platforms such as mobile and PC)

Base ATK: 440

Substat: ATK 35.2%

Ability: Descension

Hitting enemies with Normal or Charged Attacks grants a 50% chance to deal 200% ATK as DMG in a small AoE. This effect can only occur once every 10s.

Additionally, if the Traveler equips the Sword of Descension, their ATK is increased by 66

** **

The Flute

Base ATK: 510

Substat: ATK 41.3%

Ability: Chord

Normal or Charged Attacks grant a Harmonic on hits. Gaining 5 Harmonics triggers the power of music and deals 100% ATK DMG to surrounding enemies. Harmonics last up to 30s, and a maximum of 1 can be gained every 0.5s.

** **

Toukabou Shigure (obtained from the Akitsu Kimodameshi event that took place in the 3.3 patch)

Base ATK: 510

Substat: Elemental Mastery 165

Ability: Rainfall Earthbinder (Toph Beifong would like to know your location)

After an attack hits opponents, it will inflict an instance of Cursed Parasol upon one of them for 10s. This effect can be triggered once every 15s. If this opponent is defeated during Cursed Parasol's duration, Cursed Parasol's CD will be refreshed immediately. The character wielding this weapon will deal 16% more DMG to the opponent affected by Cursed Parasol.

** **

Xiphos' Moonlight

Base ATK: 510

Substat: Elemental Mastery 165

Ability: Jinni's Whisper

The following effect will trigger every 10s: The equipping character will gain 0.036% Energy Recharge for each point of Elemental Mastery they possess for 12s, with nearby party members gaining 30% of this buff for the same duration. Multiple instances of this weapon can allow this buff to stack. This effect will still trigger even if the character is not on the field.

** **

[fantasblog]

have some cavi x aaron ship I drew. >:'3

Characters and belongs:

-via swirl (cavi x aaron shipchild) by me

-Aaron sans by Sakix0160 (twitter "x)/ cocklover_0 (instragram)

-cavi / cavities sans "sweeterror sans" by @hheisa /heisaewe/heisaOwO

Art by me

[alyosiuscreightonward]

Dearest Nomi-San.

In our recent conversation, you mentioned that you had felt some kind of way about not having a village to raise a child and that you like me also felt as if we were cursed.

As cliché as this meme is, it’s actually pretty close to our reality.

Unlike other children, you had a village and I appeared as the shaman attempting to make it all better. There were instances where I triumphed and I had spectacular failures.

So much has happened since then and since we actually saw each other. Our relationship has been frayed for years because of the shit storm that was swirling around us. Our memories of what went down, well…it’s similar but also skewed towards who was to blame and we were just a subset of numbers in that crazy ass equation which at times just didn’t add up to anything but “Reality stranger than fiction.” I think that when we tell our stories starting from Montello Street then via Calvary Street to you being in Rock Ledge and me being in Texas.

Today in 2023, we continue to work on ourselves as best we can and with what tools we have available to us. I’m realizing that I need meds to help with my mental health issues and you have your own bullshit to contend with on the daily.

I have my own thoughts and I could offer up my opinions but I have to say that I’m going not be the one. I have to figure it out myself and I’m sure that you will do the same. Now we just aren’t going to give into that nonsense or negativity anymore because we must find our own moment of zen.

We are soldiers. We have no other option but to march. We have no other choice but to fight back against it all. There are moments when we feel as though if we have had a chance to take that one giant leap forward, fuck!!! We’ve gone two steps back. Ugh!!! I too like you want to know first hand what it means to ease the pain of the day away and then take time for ourselves. It’s a fifty fifty shot at the wheel of fortune. Sometimes the roulette wheel hits double zero and it’s fabulous. Yet the other times, shit hits the fan. WTAF??!! FML!!!

It’s true, do we win the battle or lose the war? Whatever happens to us we will always be in the game and we will never stop marching forward. I’m sure that your Gawd or my higher power will come to aid, abet, assist and help us in some itty bitty teeny tiny little way regardless. We will stumble, fall and or just land flat on our heads. It’ll be a hot shitty boo boo mess. We ended up here and now we’re going to figure out how to get out of it. We’re not living under the delusion as some of our contemporaries are.

Give your self permission to scream in the vacuum of space meanwhile knowing that we can’t dodge the raindrops and we will get soaking wet. We will continue to shed our exoskeletons and one day, I know it’s coming, we will have all the accolades for what we’ve accomplished. I also know that we don’t take our own advice. So, whatever drivel I spew, I keep on marching on no matter how much I hurt mentally or physically and you are right there with me.

We are unable to care for or care about the other people who have been in our lives. We are the toughest and the most important.

[sinceileftyoublog]

METZ, Spiritual Cramp, & Stuck Live Show Review: 12/16, Metro, Chicago

BY JORDAN MAINZER

METZ’ self-titled debut album came at a time when guitars re-entered indie rock in full-force. 2012 saw breakout albums from bands like Cloud Nothings, The Men, and Parquet Courts, a paradigm shift from the baroque pop of the 2000s towards something like it was during the heyday of the 90s. But similar to Attack on Memory, METZ was bleak, what seemed at the time like a pummeling expression of desolation after the 2008 financial crisis, akin to the waning optimism from the early Obama years. Ten years and three METZ albums later, the world has gotten worse, and the Toronto-via-Ottawa punk band has retained its hard edge. What better time to celebrate their first and arguably still their finest statement?

At the Metro on Friday, like every other night of their tour, METZ played their first album front to back. As the band walked onto the stage, drummer Hayden Menzies played the abrasive opening notes of “Headache” with the lights still off, remaining dim as guitarist and vocalist Alex Edkins’ siren-like lines began. Only when bassist Chris Slorach entered the fray did we see the band, and they were off to the races, burning through “Get Off”, “Sad Pricks”, and “Rats” at a breakneck pace. From the off-kilter instrumental of “Nausea” to the build of “Wet Blanket” and noisy, dynamic breakdown of “Wasted”, the band showed themselves to be, to quote one of their 2012 contemporaries, masters of their craft.

Including the encore, METZ had time for 5 additional songs, including two from their most recent album Atlas Vending (Sub Pop): “Blind Youth Industrial Park” and the swirling, epic closer “A Boat to Drown In”. II’s “Spit You Out”, a live highlight since it came out, was especially disorienting in its chaos in conjunction with the light show. And, to my pleasant surprise, the band did the motorik “Demolition Row”, released earlier this year as part of a split 7′’ with Adulkt Life. The show served as a reminder that METZ are capable of effectively delving into different subgenres but are still at their best when bashing you over the head with noise.

Opening for METZ were two more punk bands, albeit with different aesthetics. San Francisco’s Spiritual Cramp combined screamy, political post-punk with self-aware, self-deprecating, self-hating dance jams on tracks like “I Feel Bad Bein’ Me” and “The Erasure”. Vocalist Michael Bingham was filled with banter contrasting the bitter cold lack of pretension in Chicago with California’s sadsack sunniness. “You can’t tell if I’m being sarcastic,” he said to the crowd, following up with, “I can’t tell if I’m being sarcastic.” The vagueness of tone is certainly a feature of the band, the type to artfully sample vocals at the same time as featuring a barely-audible-but-theatrically-played tambourine on stage. When Bingham declared, “Fuck the cops, fuck the president, and fuck you, too,” you could sense a sneering sincerity, one that made the band ironically even more likeable.

And taking a victory lap were local heroes Stuck, a year removed from their most recent EP Content That Makes You Feel Good (Exploding In Sound), two years from their debut album Change Is Bad (born yesterday). As such, they played four (!) new, unreleased songs, including jagged set opener “Punisher” and the disco beat-laden “Freak Frequency”. Live, lead vocalist Greg Obis’ yelped personal and sociopolitical litanies echo the urgency of someone like Squid’s Ollie Judge, backed by the band’s gnarly rhythms and burning tempo changes. The jangling tremolo and rusted edges of a song like “Invisible Wall” encapsulated what the band does best: reel you in, but not let you get too comfortable.

[kefnut-the-gweilologist]

ngl im struggling to remember why im watching this show

[hey-hamlet]

I found your transmigrator au via pocketramblr, and now I can't stop thinking about it, especially about the 'original' story, sans Izuku. I suppose Tsuyu and Mineta would have died at the USJ, then maybe one or two at the training camp? Who would have been the main character? Who would have received OfA? Just a very good idea. Thank you for sharing.

Heyy, welcome to my AU hell! I thought about this on the bus home so you get a whopper of an answer.

Ok so, the original story, the USJ is basically the turning point. Like, we get a little cutaway (maybe 5 pages?) of each of the character's in their own zones - Mineta and Tsuyu's cuts right before they try and jump for it. One by one, over the course of the final large fight in the centre of the USJ we see the students gather. The fight ends, there is a sense of relief - and then someone turns to look out into the lake and screams. The next page turn is a double spread of the two bodies in the water, swirls of blood twisting around them, their limbs mangled. Thats when Plus Ultra takes its turn from classic shonen manga to dark, nearly horror. From there:

Iida is killed by Stain

All Might doesn't visit I-Island and neither did any 1-A students, so Melissa and David Shield die, along with various other guests.

Momo, Tokoyami and Shouji die during the camp, Bakugo and Todoroki are captured.

Kamino Ward happens - Kirishima, who found the location and went to the area to try and help, is badly injured enough that he's unable to remain in the hero course, but following All Might's death, they are too desperate for trained heroes to let him leave, so he's moved to an altered schedule.

Skilled support and gen-ed students are strong-armed into the hero course (by the HSC) to fill its ranks nationwide - here this means Hatsumei and Shinsou join 1A.

The 8 Precepts raid happens, even more chaotic than canon as they've grown bolder with the public's newfound fear - Ojiro, Hagakure and Mirio die. Night Eye survives.

The league attacks UA with a freshly healed AfO (Eri, are part of the 8 Precepts bargain with the league) - Aoyama and Sero die, the rest of 1A flee.

By the very final chapter, the only original 1A members remaining are Uraraka, Bakugo, Jirou, Mina, Kaminari, Kirishima, Koda and Todoroki - along with Aizawa who is just trying to keep the last of his kids alive.

Bakugo was the primary protagonist and it was mostly told from his POV, but it focused on 1A as a whole. It was a running fandom joke that if someone got too many chapters about them in a row they were probably gonna die.

All Might was the secondary protag! We got POV chapters from him pretty often - maybe an 8th of the story was from his POV, and he died at the end of Act 2, but he was always frustratingly vague. It was an open secret that he was looking for a personal student, and his internal narration kept making reference to a legacy, but it was never revealed what it actually was before he died.

All Might never passes on One for All. It's one of Bakugo's driving frustrations in the manga - before everything goes to shit that is - he's top of their year, stronger than most second years, has near-perfect grades, but All Might never even considers him for that secret thing everyone knows about.

[britishassistant]

Crowley kid! Yuu gets kidnapped by one of the villain dorms and Crowley is touring the the lair and just come across his kid, just chilling their designated chair snacking and roasting the villains, maybe joking around with the minions a bit and then they see each other and it’s like that Spider-Man pointing meme

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

This kiiinda got away from me a bit, but I thought it would be good since this blog has now reached over 200 followers! Whoo! Thank you all for your support!!

Crowley was just popping by to see how Leviathan’s operation was running.

He liked to do this kind of thing, show up when the supervillains competing for his attention least expected (or appreciated) it and demand they show him how their operations were running. The reactions and sights he got to see where always so much more honest than what a prearranged visit could offer him.

Take Leviathan-kun, for instance.

The young man is uncommonly nervous in Crowley’s presence, not quite stuttering, but clearly not far off from it either. He keeps adjusting his glasses minutely, making the light flash off them even as he rattles out his salesman’s spiel of guarantees and flattery.

The thieving corvid inside Crowley preens. Today was an excellent day for a surprise inspection.

There’s clearly something going on right now that Leviathan was desperate to hide from him, which just makes Crowley want to dig deep and uncover whatever this dirty little secret is and drag that wriggling, struggling weakness into the light.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

It doesn’t take long for him to ferret it out—as desperate as Leviathan is to redirect his attention the loyal minions moving like schools of fish through the lower levels of the lair, he doesn’t have the authority to do anything but totter after Crowley as he strides towards the control room of this fine establishment, his cane clicking against the ground with every step.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

There’s the raised voices of Leviathan’s lieutenants emanating from within, along with...someone else?

Crowley pauses, taking in the scene inside.

There is a person is tied to a chair in the center of the room with one of the Leeches hanging sideways off of their lap, arms wrapped around their shoulders as he leans backwards and swings his legs back and forth. The chair is beginning to teeter dangerously.

“Floyd, if you make us fall again, I’m suing you for damages.” A familiar voice quips.

Crowley’s insides go cold.

“Aha! So mean~ I’d never let you get hurt, Shrimpy~” The reckless and violent twin coos, nuzzling close.

“You already did.” The most kidnapped reporter in this city deadpans. “Twice.”

“Bold of you to assume that you’d be able to press charges in the first place, Yuu-san.” The sadistic and coldblooded twin grins.

“Azul likes me better than you two, he’ll represent me if I sell him my kidneys.” Yuu says loftily. “Plus I have witnesses, like that guy...there...”

Well, that’s ruined his dramatic entrance, but Crowley slams open the doors anyway, making his cloak billow and letting those leeches see the angry flash of his eyes.

“A-hem!” He booms. “What exactly do you think you’re doing? Is this how you think professional villains behave?!”

The sadistic twin stands to attention, bowing shallowly to him, as though that will keep Crowley from noticing how he’s moved in front of the hostage and his violent brother, who’s curled over Yuu with his feet planted firmly on the ground and is cocky enough to think baring his teeth at Crowley is somehow a good idea.

“Floyd.” Leviathan’s voice is clipped, moving towards his henchman and the captive. “My deepest apologies on behalf of my staff, sir. I’ll instruct them to take the prisoner back down to the holding cells to continue the inter—”

“No, you will not.” Crowley commands, swirling towards the aquatic supervillain. “You will release them from your custody immediately, and as I am so gracious, I will be sure to educate all of you about how violating personal boundaries—”

“Oh, come off it, you old crow.” Yuu drawls, one eyebrow twitching. “Don’t start pretending like you care now.”

The sadistic brother makes a small, choked noise. Leviathan has gone so still it’s doubtful he’s even breathing. Even the violent twin is staring at the reporter like they’ve grown a second head.

He clears his throat to hide the small sting in his chest at the remark. “W-why I don’t know whatever you are talking about, stranger I have never met before. I will arrange for an escort to guide you home, as I am so gracious.”

The reporter scoffs. “Well, isn’t that just the story of my life. I told you last time, I don’t want any of your goons within ten blocks of my apartment, remember?”

“Yuu, while I always appreciate your sparkling wit, please stop talking.” Leviathan mutters, eyes focused on Crowley. “Are you aware of just who this person is?”

“Who he is? Of course I know who he is.” Yuu’s exasperation is evident in their voice. “He’s my bio dad.”

Crowley bristles, feeling his feathers puff up in alarm. “Hatchling!!”

Leviathan chokes, wheezing for air as he gasps out, “Bio—what—?”

The sadistic Leech brother is visibly startled, whipping his head back and forth between Crowley and Yuu, lips moving too fast to read though no sound comes out.

“Eeeh~? The big scary boss man is Shrimpy’s dad? No waay~” The violent Leech brother jabs a thumb in his direction. “Who would fuck him?”

“HOW DARE YOU—!”

“Nobody.” Yuu says. “I was born via in vitro fertilization.”

“Hatchling~!” Crowley whines, disliking how wrong-footed his child leaves him. “That is hardly kind!”

Yuu lets out an undignified snort. “Sure, because that compares to dumping me back on Uncle Divvy after a week out of the test tube with instructions to leave me under a bridge somewhere.”

Both Leech twins pin him with equally unnerving stares, and Crowley has to remind himself that he is three times the villain they’ll ever be, that they couldn’t actually hurt him even if they did both attack at once.

Leviathan is just leaning against his desk, mouthing “Uncle Divvy” to himself with the sort of frquency usually reserved for those afflicted by Divus’ hysteria gas.

“We talked about that!” Crowley pleads desperately. “It was to make sure that you could grow strong through adversity! I could hardly expect you to take up my position if you grew up soft and dependent, now could I?”

“Babies are soft and dependent, that’s the whole point. I’d have been dead within the week if Uncle Divvy hadn’t given me to Mom and Dad.” Yuu sighs, slumping back into the chair. “Whatever. I’m never taking over from you and I don’t want any of your money. Can I go home now?”

“I’ll arrange for a car as I am so gracious—” Crowley states firmly at the same time as Leviathan interjects with “Ah, let me take you—”

He shoots a poisonous glare at the young upstart, and then at the unprofessional lackey who’s still clinging to his child.

“No thanks, to both of you.” Yuu sighs. “I’ll just call Yuuken to pick me up—”

“Eeeh?! But Shrimpy, he’s so lame and boring!” The twin in Yuu’s lap whines. “I can’t even squeeze him properly!”

“Yeah, that’s not really a negative here.” The reporter quips, putting up with the way the merman whines and nuzzles into their shoulder, teeth dangerously close to their jugular.

“I don’t like him.” Crowley sniffs. “He’s too good an influence on you.”

“Well, guess whose business that is?!” His offspring asks cheerily, before dropping back into their irritated moue. “Not yours. I’ll spend time with whoever I please, you can go suck an e—”

“I’ve called you a cab, Yuu-san.” The sadistic Leech brother pipes up, pulling his phone away from his ear. “It’s already paid for, so please don’t worry about it.”

The reporter frowns again, before shaking their head with a tired sigh. “Thank you. I need to go sleep off a migraine, so untie me and I’ll see you three next week or something.”

Leviathan moves forward to tug swiftly at the ropes pinning their arms behind their back and pulling his henchmen off of them, finally. “Let me escort you out at least. It wouldn’t do to have any more unpleasant surprises before you got home.”

“Fine.” Yuu pins Crowley with that look that always makes him want to squirm. “Have a lovely day, Dire Crowley-san.”

“Likewise.” He watches his heir walk out as the violent Leech twin calls out “Bye bye, Shrimpy~!”

He turns to those two upstarts, drawing himself up to his full height. “I am certain I don’t need to impress upon you the fact that none of what went on in here leaves this room, yes?”

The sadistic one meets his eye for a moment, spreading his hands wide with an unpleasant smile. “I am unsure of what you mean, Crowley-sama.”

“Yeah, dunno~” The violent one chirps from where he’s now perched in the recently vacated chair.

“Well, suffice it to say that Divus came up with a very interesting potion to affect merfolk, some years ago.” Crowley allows himself a cruel smirk. “One that gives them legs permanently. Shame it doesn’t do the same for lungs. I will not tell him how...carelessly you boys have been treating one of his most prized experiments, as I am gracious, am I not?”

He watches the pair of them swallow reflexively with a thrill of dark satisfaction. “Yes, Crowley-sama.” They chorus.

“Wonderful!” Crowley chirps, clasping his hands together. “Now, I think it’s time for a special lesson on respecting the personal boundaries of one’s hostages, don’t you?”