#vess rambles

[aetherixart]

Sorry that I’ve kinda gone radio silent the past month or so. I’m okay! Everything is fine, but I just needed to take some time for myself to work through a lot of feelings.

Rambling below the cut-

Otakon was absolutely incredible, and truly an unforgettable experience. I genuinely have never felt so much love from total strangers, or felt so accepted and welcomed into a community with open arms. I can’t thank each person I met enough for making me feel so included, like I really have a place here in the FFXIV community. Otakon taught me that it’s okay to make friends again, that there are people I can feel safe and loved with. Ive been such a hermit lately because I’ve just been so overwhelmed by all of the kindness I’ve been shown. If I haven’t answered your DMs or joined your discord server yet, this is why.

I got out of a very toxic friendship several years ago and it still affects me to this day. I was made to feel that I was difficult to work with, hard to love, asking for too much when all I asked for was to be treated like a friend should be treated, not used and stepped on for someone else’s gain. I was made to feel like I would always be a side character in my OWN story. I was told that I would be shooting myself in the foot career-wise by breaking free from them, and made to feel like I wouldn’t succeed in art and writing without them.

The last few years have been quite a struggle socially since that friendship ended. I’ve been terrified to make friends again, scared that people will show their true colors several months down the road like that person did to me. I’ve been so afraid to reach out and talk to my friends for fear that I’m bothering them. I won’t hang out with someone unless I’ve been explicitly invited, because I don’t want to intrude on anyone’s space. I hardly talk to anyone these days aside from my close circle that watched me go through what I experienced years ago. For years I fully believed I would never get anywhere with my artwork on my own. I never felt good enough, like I was always meant to be in someone else’s shadow.

But now I’m here. I’ve travelled across the country this year selling my art, doing things that even me two years ago could only dream of. I have met so many incredible people- fellow FF players, voice actors, streamer pals, fellow artists just to name a few. I’m attending conventions this year as an artist that I never imagined I would be able to go to. I constantly find myself asking the question, “why me? I’m not good enough to be at xyz convention?”But every conversation I have at my booth at conventions is so uplifting, validating and wholesome, and reminds me that it’s okay to open my heart again and make friends. It’s okay to unapologetically be myself, and everyone reminds me of how much I belong here. I’ve come so far without the people who made me feel like I was nothing without them, and for that I am truly thankful. I’m thankful for those who supported me the entire way, who never let me give up. I’m thankful for the Final Fantasy community for giving me a home, and reminding me that I DO belong. I can’t say this enough, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart

[heal-our-natural-blues]

Welcome - About me !

Welcome! My name is Vess.

I'm 22, my pronouns are he/they, I'm queer as shit and my main hobbies are gaming and writing- I don't bite, feel free to say hi!

This blog is intended for my rambling about bands as they are my primary interest although I won't post my actual creations here, the links are towards the end of this post.

I'm mainly into; - Waterparks - Bring Me The Horizon - Sleep Token - Bad Omens - 5 Seconds of Summer - and too many more to list, I primarily like heavy metal and pop-punk

For my writing (band centric) see @ostdreamseeker and for my band based stimboards and aesthetics see @posthumanstardust ! I also make other pop culture related stimboards and such @lifeweaved

I work a lot so my uploads and such are incredibly sporadic so don't mind that! I'm also based in Australia and have a horrible sleep and work schedule so that adds to it

Thanks for dropping into see my little corner of the internet!

[pxper-cranes]

are these anything?

[sniperdadmaccready]

fair warning that when I get my physical copy of Baldurs Gate 3 next month I am going to be very mentally ill over Astarion so I'll make a special tag then and you guys can block it should my ramblings get to be too much

[foxgloveinspace]

My dumbass brain…. I can not read sleep token fic (I still try) but by gosh do I have a magnum opus of a fic I could write for them.

[daredevils-advocate]

Who let me do 4 very different costumes for Halloween this year? Who let me do this? I'm broke enough as is

I fully did this to myself I know shush

[frothingatthemaw]

i rambled to her a bit about them and she said THEY SOUND COOL!!!!! you have no idea what this means to me

[monorayjak]

Lili is a great character specifically because of this. Literally every problem she has is because she goes her route, regardless of consequences.

Healers say her brother will die no matter what? Lilia takes the advice of a random guy and brews a potion to save him. He becomes a fucking lich.

Liliana needs her power and youth back? Make a deal with the literal draconic embodiment of "go fuck yourself or I'll make sure you don't live through me fucking you over" and literal demons who's entire domain are bad deals. She becomes bound to them all and has to spent literal fucking years trying to free herself.

Liliana has actually somehow found a semi-supportive friend group who, while she won't admit it to them or herself, she cares about? Use them as a means to an end to kill the demons. End up forced to fight them.

Like, what I'm getting at here is that if she actually listened to other people, 98% of her problems would be nonexistent.... but she's also a mono-black character and I'm pretty sure it's like one of their core tenants to yell yolo and fuck over everybody to improve their future...

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Get To Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

Tagged by @ink-flavored (here) to do this event created by @davycoquette (question template here)! Thanks to both of you.

To anyone seeing this, consider yourself tagged in addition to @sunset-a-story @touloserlautrec @sarahlizziewrites @k--havok @thatndginger @oliolioxenfreewrites @the-scaredy-crow @words-after-midnight @space-writes @vacantgodling @jezifster @ghostpoetics @lacependragon @xenascribbles @afoolandathief @drawnecromancy @the-ace-of-wrath

[ID: A thin border divider showing a sliver of a golden sky streaked by rain clouds above a dark blue sea.]

ON THE TUMBLR WRITING COMMUNITY

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

Since, like, 2020? Somewhere thereabouts.

What led you to create it?

Wanting to connect with writers/readers outside of Ao3 (it's just not set up for conversations outside of comment threads). And wanting to raise my characters up like baby Simba at the start of The Lion King for more of the Internet to behold.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

It's about the connection. 🤌 Plenty of writing communities, both on and offline, focus on critique or getting something published. Which can be great, if it's what you're after. But I think having others who genuinely cheer you on and let you ramble is just as important to helping writers through the often messy process of creating.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I can be a bit shy or slow to interact, but once I'm invited in I'll haunt follow your blog or writing even if I'm not constantly saying anything.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

People talking about what they love, in published work and with writeblr stuff. A lot of the time I read or watch something because of the way others talk about it. That includes your own writing!

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Be patient, manage your expectations, and focus on having some fun. There's no algorithm here and even less clout. Writers can and do build audiences on Tumblr, but it's uniquely suited to allow us to experiment and be weird too.

WIP IT GOOD

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I'm rewriting Apophenia, a novel about a supernatural researcher enduring the worst assignment of his life. A lot of my other projects are set in the same world.

How long have you been working on them?

Over five years now, I think! I'm slow.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

The Chocolate Box event on Ao3! The prompt was for a human captured by a vampire, but I wound up creating an entire world and series. Oops.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

If I'm not thinking about these characters it's only because I'm dead.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Gay vampire trash.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I write about characters who struggle towards community, compassion, and being better people despite a) their flaws, and b) the world burning down around them. I hope that it gives me the courage to continue doing the same.

LET’S ROTATE BLORBOS

Name any characters you created.

I'll direct you to some mood boards/intros even: Isaac Soto Márquez, Renato Faria Dimas, Dorian St-Ange, Kinslayer, Elfy Bosques-Rodriguez, Ankaris the Memory Salesman, Fior the Master Transcriber, Vess the Collector. And here's a comic sans presentation for Apophenia.

Who’s the most unhinged?

Outwardly? Any of my necromancers. They come in a wide variety of styles, from Motley sewing patches of skin onto itself, to Acacius of Antioch who drapes his bejeweled and gilded bones in black veils. Each also has an, um, unique view of (un)life, the body, and ethics. Views which could come across as unhinged.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

At this point Isaac Soto, the protagonist of Apophenia. We do share a few similarities, but mostly I've just been writing him for years now.

Do you ever cringe at them?

At my characters or their antics? I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

They do frequently just spring ideas and actions on me, but I have the ultimate say in what makes it onto the page. Same with having the power/responsibility of changing something I realize isn't working, is insensitive, etc.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

Always and forever, yes. 💜 Send me asks, comment in the tags or on Ao3, shriek in reblogs, replies, or a dm. It doesn't matter how--I love whenever someone is curious or interested enough to ask something about my fictional creations.

ON WRITEBLR ENGAGEMENT

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

Sometimes it's based on vibes, sometimes I really like the sound of their stories. I appreciate a sense of whimsy and/or humor especially. And someone who likes spooky as well as fantasy stuff.

What makes you decide against following?

Two things: A) Their intro already has, like, 80+ notes (though the vibe/story will override this), and B) lots of posts hating on things/trends/people. I don't mean venting or sometimes ranting, which is everyone's right. I mean someone's whole brand is ridicule or just immediately seeing the bad in everything. Which is still their right. It's also mine to avoid it, and I think this is mutually beneficial. Thankfully, though, this experience has been very rare for me on writeblr.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I try to. I'll reblog, read, comment, take an open tag, whatever when I have the energy. I mean, how else do writers get readers? It takes people who might not know you personally talking about your work a lot of the time.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

I am absorbing the essence of your blorbos as we speak, making them an eternal part of me.

[princess-caspian]

*trigger warning: discussion of SA*!!

feelings about the Neil Gaiman news (in brief because I don’t have the capacity for more rn): I believe the women. I believe the others who are now feeling slowly able to share their stories. I am a survivor. I feel shaken to my bones and ripped apart and betrayed and heartbroken for the women this man has hurt whilst manufacturing this facade in the public eye of a wholesome literary good guy - that I’m furious I believed - there is no way to defend this man’s actions. For want of a better phrase, he “at best” groomed multiple young women into bdsm style relationships they were not prepared for or felt pressured in or thought they wanted, knowingly doing so with a vast power inbalance between himself and partners - “at best” this man is a fucking creep and predator, and at worst (which his response, trying to suggest a woman has ‘false memories’, essentially makes me even less trusting of anything he’s ever said) he’s a sex offender. The reports all mentioning ‘unwanted sex’ are scared to say sexual assault or rape. UNWANTED, CLEARLY REFUSED SEX IS R*PE.

I feel sick to my core to my bones to my heart

Honestly, I can let go mentally of most of his work instantly - anything I hadn’t read yet I now no longer want to read - but two that formed my childhood passion for writing were The Graveyard Book and Stardust. His books were my safe place and they are no longer that for me.

Stardust became the book that I defined my heart by, connected with, friends and family knew my love for, the comfort film above all others, the only book I try to make anyone and everyone read. I’d been planning my first tattoo from Charles Vess’ illustrations of Yvaine.

Unhooking myself from Stardust feels hard, maybe impossible, maybe twisted forever (certainly not immortalized on my skin like I’d wanted to) and I don’t know how to feel about that when it’s a book that brings me back to earth when everything feels like it’s burning.

But now it feels like all the books I loved have been burnt to the ground and I don’t want to touch them anymore. I know some people can separate art from artist, I don’t know how good I am at that.

Sorry, this isn’t short at all it’s a huge heart ramble. I hope the women involved have the support they need. I hope fans on this platform and others stay kind to each other and believe victims - stop defending a man who has confessed to having sex with a girl who could be his granddaughter 4 hours after meeting her. Look after each other.

I don’t idolize people very often. This one I did from the point a primary school teacher introduced me to his work. That’s a lesson in itself from this - I don’t idolize many authors, I’ll continue not to. I’d idolized Stardust though and I don’t know if I can reconcile myself with that work over time or if ill want to dissect all his books from my shelves.

[dewracle]

Welcome to the beautiful world of Ramble Shots!

I genuinely just pulled this from dms, shoved it into a doc and didn’t even edit it. Truth be told, that’s how all my rambles will be. Enjoy!!

Trans Masc II x Dom Vessel - Piss Kink MDNI

Why can I see one of the boys trying to help II piss standing up and then degrading him when he makes a mess out of the bathroom.

One of them just standing behind him, using their fingers in a V shape to help him aim.. II just holding onto their arm and trying to piss but he can’t because he’s so fucking turned on. His pathetic T-dick just twitching bc it wants attention…

The boy's other hand wrapping around II’s throat just resting there gently while whispering in his ear. “Come on big boy~ you wanna piss for me? Be good? Shit…”

And when he finally manages to get the smallest of stream they’re grinding their cock against his ass. He lets out a pathetic gasp and tries to force himself to piss. When he can’t they just sigh and dip their fingers into his cunt… pushing upwards and on his g spot.

“Damn II didn’t know I’d have to milk you for your piss. Can’t do shit right can you? Need my fingers to do it all”

And II just cries and tries to squirm away but he can’t. He can’t escape the hand around his throat.

“Vess! Fuck just- stop stop I can’t-“

“But you can and you will.”

Doesn’t take the poor boy long to cum, his cunt trying to push Vessel’s fingers out but the singer is relent so he forces them back in.

It makes II scream as he fucking squirts everywhere soaking his pants and Vessel’s hand.

“See you could do it, knew you could pretty boy”

[wooly-nooly]

Vessel is doin it

I wanna walk around holding onto the edge of iiis shirt like a lost child. I think it would be healing

[pxper-cranes]

Liliana Vess

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives // Rich Girl - Daryl Hall & John Oates // Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls // Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush // The Well - The Crane Wives // Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar // Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan // Fake Out - Fall Out Boy

[bubacorn]

I’m not sure whether you got the other idea, about Sleep Tokens mansion and the spare room. They changed it into a stormy ocean themed quiet room.

I hope i don’t bother you.

So another idea. They have this big garden, right?

What about a swinging garden bed?

A big one. So all 4 can cuddle, bring their stuffies and enjoy the sun or maybe the moon at night. All the noises at night would be calming, if Vess isn’t feeling well. Maybe the cold breeze would sooth his anxiety.

Maybe they have little lights and those glowing stones.

So it’s not too dark at night, if the moon isn’t shining.

Yeah, just sone thoughts. Leaving very quickly.

Sending 🫂 and stuffies.

Hi! You don't bother me at all, I was happy to see you in my inbox! 🫂

About the spare room: the image of the vessels painting the walls and putting up wallpaper is now in my mind. also, them browsing for furniture and home decor. III in denim overalls. Vessel having clear-cut aesthetic ideas. II saying that they will check out every store in town until they find the exact blue paint Vessel chose. handyman IV. Vessel choosing the softest rugs and pillows. them having one of those ceiling projector light thingies. a jellyfish lava lamp. sorry, back to the question.

yes. a garden bed. a path paved with those stones would look so cool! i would imagine they have pretty cool outdoor furniture since they spend a lot of time outside. Vessel likes reading on their swing/garden bed. they like sitting outside. the air is fresh, the garden is pretty II and III look good working in the garden Vessel spends a lot of time unwinding in the garden after tours. the nature and their home grounds him. and the night. he sneaks outside and sit on the porch steps sometimes. II has to usher him inside or at least bring him a sweater/blanket, so he doesn't get cold. sometimes his others join him when they can't sleep.

when Vessel has a nightmare, and he wants to be alone for a bit, he sits out into the garden bed. it's dark and quiet, only the sounds of nature can be heard and it helps him calm down. he's home, he's safe and the darkness shrouds him. he feels close to Sleep that way. sitting in pitch darkness is like a hug from his deity. he likes the slight chill in the air and he can bring one of his 'outside' plushies, that they store inside. those are the only ones that can be brought outside, since they might get dirty or simply cause bugs can get on them. Vessel wouldn't want his everyday plushies to get 'dirty' like that. so they have a few 'outside' ones. maybe he lies down and puts a weighted plushie on his chest and simply stares at the night sky. one time his thoughts spiral instead of calming down and he gets a bit too existential, so he rushes inside and gets into someone's bed. he stared at the stars too long and suddenly didn't like the feeling of being small and insignificant, so he has to cuddle up to someone.

but also: stargazing. they have little light pollution so the night sky is clear. meteor shower dates. Vessel rambling about constellations. III trying his best to see the mythological figures but he cannot for the life of him figure out how the ancient people saw people in a bunch of stars in weird lines. Vessel is patiently pointing them out to him. IV making hot cocoa and preparing thermoses and little boxes of snacks so the atmosphere is there. chocolate flavored kisses after they spotted a falling star. giggling and nudging each other so they tell what they wished for. holding each other close in the low light. sitting together in the darkness and silence, simply feeling the others' presence.

[serpensortiamaxima]

This is a long ramble but my brain plagued me with it and I need to get it out.

As an ex-Magic: the Gathering player, I find that the Hogwarts house system makes more sense once you assign it MtG's colour wheel system to it. It's not flawless because there are more colour than there are Hogwart houses and the colour wheel is...more complex, but it does help see how certain characters end up in a certain house despite clearly having attributes from other houses.

I'd cut it down this way:

Gryffindor: Red

Hufflepuff: Green

Ravenclaw: Blue

Slytherin: Black

White would be a wildcard because the values it represents (morality, order, uniformity, structure) are not only essential to Hogwarts as a school but also not house-specific in that any individual within a house could align with these values or not. The existence of the house system itself is a "white" thing.

Sebastian's case is interesting because there is a lot of talk about his Ravenclaw leaning, which would, in colour wheel terms, translate to Blue. But then, if you look at his motivations, he actually has a story that is a lot like planeswalker Liliana Vess (who is mainly mono-black aligned). Both have a sibling that has been cursed somehow and both have sought out some kind of cure to save them by exploring the darker forms of magic (necromancy in both cases too).

In MtG, the colour black embodies the idea that "the only measure of right and wrong should be whether or not an approach leads to success" and that is exactly Sebastian's mindset regarding the Anne's cure. Now, what the colour wheels allows to do that Hogwarts houses don't, is to have allyships between colours. If we assign the values of MtG's Black to Sebastian, we can quickly see that he also embodies the qualities of the two colours "Black" is compatible with: Blue and Red: "Black has an ally in Blue, as it appreciates its subtlety and use of cold logic. Black is also allied with Red, respecting its desire to do things on its own terms." Cunning, in MtG's framework, is a very Blue-Black principle. Recklessness is a Red principle.

So while Sebastian does display attributes that we would associate with Ravenclaw (research skills, curiosity, thirst for knowledge etc.) they serve a specific purpose towards his goal. In MtG terms, his impulsivity and recklessness would add a touch of Red to his personality that otherwise wouldn't necessarily match with Gryffindor, but he'd still be easily be categorized as primarily Black, with Blue and Red as secondary colours.

I guess the question remains of whether or not 11yo Sebastian was like this from the start when he got sorted into Slytherin, or if there was something else that got him sorted into this house. I personally think a younger Sebastian would be much more Red-Black aligned than Blue-Black like he became, perhaps due to the exposure to other Slytherins or simply due to Anne's curse.

[saturndigital]

Solaris sounds SO FUCKING COOL

The library he protects reminds me of the library of Alexandria; did that inspire you at all?

Also, thanks for lore dropping abt your oc I genuinely love seeing people’s guardians bc not a lot of people like, make them into ocs!!! It’s so cool to see!!

Thank YOU for your tags it really did encourage me to post more about them!! It is inspired by many libraries including the Library of Alexandria! The Library of Alexandria is definitely the best comparison to The Arasi Library thinking about it now LOL. While I don't plan on burning down the library anytime soon, I have put both the library and Solaris through many problems.

Friends of mine know I have a history of giving purple and gold ocs massive libraries to protect. Many of these libraries are inspired by the short story Library of Babel by Jorge Luis Borges. The idea of a library so massive it is almost (and for some libraries I've written literally) infinite has always fascinated me. Massive building filled with knowledge and having one small person there to protect it all is such a good visual in my mind so I just keep writing it.

It goes alongside a lot of the themes of grief and isolation I write. Solaris especially follows this, it feels like you're watching the world unfold around you, history in the making all the time, and this one man is required to keep it up to date, to watch over it for eternity. At some point it becomes lonely and that's what I love about it. It's heartbreaking, but then I throw in characters like Centauri-14 and Vess (planning on making posts ab them eventually) and I get to write more than just heartbreak and instead connection and a found family despite the burden he carries and it y'know totally doesn't make me mentally ill at all hahaha anyways!

Ramble over I will continue to talk about them thank you again o7