#very very weird perspective in this thing that i've never tried before and somehow it actually feels correct. how did i pull that off!!!!!!

[bonetrousledbones]

also i genuinely think within the past like year or so i finally managed to unlock some kind of perspective drawing skilltree in my head. like what do you mean it looks way more natural if the lineart gets thicker closer to the camera. what the hell do you mean Rule of Cool is often way more important than how things would actually work realistically

[tangledinink]

Love love love your human au of the turtles!! I've had a burning question for a while though:

What do the boys assume about their relation to Splinter? I doubt they wouldn't notice the fairly obvious fact that there does need to be two biological parents for reproduction, and that they don't really look like their dad, despite having no memories before him to suggest adoption. There's no way they didn't know he was kidnapped and held captive for seven years because when you're a celebrity that sort of thing isn't hard to find. Combining these facts, I know what conclusions I would've come to. Granted, I'm not exactly the golden representation of your average child, but at the very least Donnie would've definitely wondered.

So... What's their conclusion about the situation??

Ah, thank you! And this is actually a topic I explain way more in the I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? fic! But basically, the boys, for a majority of their lives, believe that their dad is their biological father and that their biological mother, who they do not know the identity of, was abusive in some way (leading to both their father's disappearance from the public and to eventually taking sole custody of them and them moving to New York,) and/or abandoned them-- but they've never really discussed it. Here's an excerpt from the fic on the topic, conveniently from Donnie's perspective:

---

"Donnie frowned a bit, shrugging. He was loath to admit it, but Leo did have a point. Their Dad hated to talk about himself or his past outside of trivia about his acting career. Donnie had tried to ask him about their extended family once, and he totally shut down. He wouldn't even tell them what his parents' names were. And the four of them had always tried to respect that. I mean... they knew it was all really complicated. I mean, jesus, he had basically been kidnapped and presumed dead for, like, twelve years. That had to be traumatic, right?

Most of what Donnie knew, factually, about their move to New York, he had gotten from old magazine articles and talk show segments that he found online later in life. He knew what all the reports and stuff said, sure, about the abusive ex, (their mom, he thought dimly in the back of his mind, whose face he couldn't even remember,) the going into hiding, the forced isolation. But none of them had ever talked about it. He had been really little back then, so he couldn't really remember very much. His memories were more general feelings or ideas rather than actual events. He remembered playing pretend games with his brothers more than anything. He used to think that that was odd, because he had never been much of a 'pretend' kid growing up, but his therapist noted that it was common for small children to use fantasy or make-believe to 'escape' from bad situations or explain away trauma. So he supposed maybe that was it.

He remembered it being dark most of the time. And he remembered his feet being cold a lot. There was this sound that he heard in his head a lot when he thought of it, but he had no idea what it was. Shhhh shhhhh.

... But that was about it. He and his brothers, in turn, didn't really talk about it amongst each other either, or with other people. It just felt... weird. Or wrong, somehow, he supposed? Whatever."

(... And, just for fun, another small excerpt from a one-shot sidefic I did from April's mom's perspective, back when the boys were still itty bitty...)

"She had, at one point, tried to convince the boys that they could just call her “Carol,” but when she had pitched it to the group, April had gasped loudly in offense and said that that was too weird, and if anything, they should just call her ‘mom.’ And then Mikey had declared that they didn’t have a mom. And then Raph had argued that they did have a mom, she was just dead. And then Leo had refuted that they did have a mom, and she wasn’t dead, she just didn’t love any of them. And then Donnie had signed something in ASL, too quick for her to quite catch, and Leo had nodded and quickly corrected himself, clarifying that their mom was probably alive and also existed, but she didn’t love any of them and also wanted their father to die."

[etaindelaserna]

Hi, so as Dramione shipper have you ever ship Drarry? Now, I don't mean any negative thing like "this ship ia better ans you're wrong because" or "how can you ship this when that....."

See, when I was younger, I already like shipping characters from what I watch or read and all of them are m/f ships. As I grow older and consume more media, made me realized that I love m/m & f/f ships way more than m/f ships. And now, most of my otps (85% of them) are m/m and f/f. Sorry is it weird?

But somehow I can't unship m/f that I used to love. One of my moot asked me, why did I love dramione and not drarry when most of my fav ships are m/m. And I can't answer them, that m/f ships that are dear to me, I can't see them as m/m or f/f. What do you think?

Hey, no worries! I didn't think anything of the question.

Drarry actually does make sense given that Draco and Harry share similar dynamics, tensions and story building questions as Draco and Hermione do. But I've never shipped them. Not even tried.

I have two thoughts on this since I do feel mostly the same as you do but never thought about it before: if the m/f shipping in a certain fandom developed when I was a teenager, then I stayed with that ship and didn't start to suddenly ship m/m or f/f, even though I had started to like more m/m or f/f ships when I was in my early twenties. I'm still more into the f/m than I'm into m/m or f/f ships but every now and then they jump on me and most of the time it is because the characters and their chemestry together just makes sense. They're just meant to be. But it's also the same with m/m and f/f ships: if I liked them back then, then I'm still into them now. And no it's not weird that you are now more into the m/m and f/f ships: I think, our taste, or let's say, what we need from our ships develops alongside our life experiences -- both with media and reality. What we want from ships is allowed to change or stay the same depending on our needs. I don't know if or how unshipping really is a thing that can happen because it never happened to me. Sounds brutal. I could never abandon my OGs.

(1) Probably due to nostalgia. I don't know about you but I have fond memories of reading Dramione fanfics from dusk till dawn, basically satisfying the "What if"-impulse set by certain canon moments in the book and especially in the movies. Also Tom and Emma's crazy chemistry contributed a lot to cement Dramione as my old time favourite ship. I don't know if I had started shipping them as much as I did if the movies had never happened. Drarry is just not as appealing to me as Dramione. I can't see Draco with another man or Hermione with another girl. I can't explain it any better than that for me their characters just don't feel coded in that way. Same with Harry.

(2) I don't think the shipping process is a conscious desicion. Sometimes we just look at two characters and we feel a spark (because they look nice together or they banter like an old married couple or because they are two sides of the same coin) and that's it. But it seems to be linked to what we needed or wanted during the time when we encountered that particular fandom for the first time and then it just became a part of how we engaged with the story. A habit hard to shake. Maybe it also depends on with what expectations we approached the story.

I don't think I can give you a definitive answer as to why it is like that. Maybe it's all of what I've just said or none of it. I do think that in our head we've shaped the story and how we feel about it in a particular way and now it's very hard to shake that perspective. Might have been different if I had read Harry Potter as an adult instead of growing up with it.

The most important rule about shipping is that no one can tell you what you can or cannot ship. If Drarry isn't doing it for you although you like m/m ships then that doesn't negate your other m/m ships and it certainly doesn't make you a hypocrite. Just because I like m/f doesn't mean I'm going to like it in every story in the whole solar system.

I'm ranting. I hope I could give you somewhat help or ideas.

[magnuscomedybracket]

Semifinals Match 1

087 Uncanny Valley vs. 042 Grifter's Bone

Propaganda under the cut!

087 Uncanny Valley

Guy cleans out flesh from a drain without a blink and nikola has to invite him back again with Jude because he wasn’t scared enough the first time because of obliviousness

Besides the obvious bit of Guy who Doesn’t Realize He’s In A Horror Story, imagine this from Nikolas perspective. Like “oh shit lol this guys name is “skinner” I’m gonna mess with him for shits and giggles… Ok he didn’t notice any of my spooky bullshit, wild! I threatened to butcher him and he was Not Paying Attention! Jude! Hey! Come check out this idiot man!”. Also implication that Jude and nikola hang out being shitty together. I support women’s wrongs.

"Megan" tries to expose this guy to The Horrors and he's so focused on his job that he just doesn't notice. She's so shocked by this that she calls him back and still has to literally force him to notice

The world's most oblivious plumber somehow doesn't notice all the creepy stuff going on and just does his job like normal. It only gets funnier when you consider it from the Stranger avatar's point of view.

Nikola Orsinov trying so hard to scare the least observant man you've ever seen. Whispering in his ear about flencing while he hums noncommittally and pulls a wad of meat from the drain of her spooky factory in the middle of fuck-all nowhere and then he just gives her the invoice and walks out??? Like it's a normal job? And when she calls him to come back the next day she has to dress up in a clown costume to get his attention and grab his head to make him look at The Atrocities that he just entirely missed the day before. I love Sebastian Skinner so much and I wish only the best for him

#I really just want to point out that they're trying to scare a plumber. #A plumber!! #do you think this is the first time this man has had to clean skin and hair out of a drain? #do you think he's never seen blood before? #like yeah it's objectively funny from the Horror's point of views but for him? It's a tuesday #Like that isn't even the weirdest thing he's seen that week #'oh they threatened to butcher him' yeah? what makes them special? #this guy probably deals with 20 different avatars a week by necessity #no amount of 'his name is skinner let's fuck with him' is going to be worse than service work in people's homes (via @/childoferebus)

#the only reason we know what's happening for half the episode is taht we know this is an horror story #and how things usually go. #dude spends half the episode going 'just a normal job. #house in the middle of nwohere. weird smells and textures #*shrugs* just anotehr day on the job* (via @/monstersqueen)

042 Grifter's Bone

A band so bad it kills people

"I've been watching Martin. He's been very attentive to my needs and recovery since I returned to work, almost to the exclusion of his own tasks. [...] Is he playing the fool? Purposefully failing in his tasks to delay or hinder my investigations? [...] I’m glad he’s moved out of the Archives, as it gives me a chance to work here without his constant presence. [...] if his style wasn't so obviously enamoured with Keats,[...] I will keep my eye on Martin." the keats part included because wow jon. strong opinions on martin's poetry here (via @/monstersqueen)

[sentientgolfball]

Someone a few days ago asked me why I don’t correct people when they misgender me and I’ve been thinking it about it nonstop so im gonna put all my thoughts under the cut. This isn’t like a vent btw it’s more like a…collecting my thoughts all in one place

I am openly nonbinary in my daily life…for the most part. I’m out to all my friends, I have a little pronouns pin on my bag, my preferred name and pronouns are on my school ID and when asked i introduced myself with my pronouns

But I won’t correct people. I won’t tell people either unless we get closer or I’m asked. Because I’m afraid. It has nothing to do with where I’m at, actually the school I go to is literally the most progressive school in my state. I feel genuinely safe here.

It’s because of where I came from. The Midwest is already touch and go, but coming from a small town in the middle of a cornfield? Yea it wasn’t good. I used to have a little pride flag wallet on my keychain and then I got followed home by multiple trucks after making a quick stop at Walmart. I got a new wallet the next day. I was 17 when that happened. I was one of the quiet kids in school and I listened to everything around me. I heard a lot of things that made me feel unsafe. I remember one of my teachers had us debate the ethics of allowing trans people in sports and only 3 people argued for trans athletes myself included. It sucked.

But now I’m here. I’m on the opposite side of my state in this is very open and very supportive community. Granted all it takes is about a 10-15 minute drive to be back in that territory but for a majority of my time I’m in an environment where I’m not 1 of 5 trans kid but 1 of hundreds. I know I’m safe. I know I’m not the only trans person my professors or coworkers have met.

I am still afraid. I’m afraid I’ll lose my job. I know this isn’t true because one of my coworkers is an openly trans woman. I’m afraid I’ll be followed home again.

And then I’m asked “why don’t you correct people?” It was actually my coworker who asked me this. I’m not upset with her, I told her she could ask whatever she wanted and I was happy to answer for her. It’s just…put a lot of things into perspective I hadn’t really thought about.

This year specifically for some reason I've also been thinking a lot about my gender. Tried a few different pronouns, got my first binder, realized I get top surgery and start T one day. Yet that one question for just a moment made me question everything. Made me stop and go "am I really nonbinary because I don't correct people?"

And I thought to myself "no that's silly" because if one of my friends ever purposefully misgendered me for no reason other than to not out me I'd feel wrong. Itchy. Because for a brief moment I considered using he/they pronouns and it just felt so wrong to be he. I am not a he or a she, I am a me. And idk that was really weird for me because I've never had that moment before. Granted I was never really in the space to explore my identity before but now that I have steady meals and my own little space my brain has been able to ponder.

I've been thinking about legally changing my name, but once again I am afraid. Doing it when I turn 21 in November would be easiest because I have to renew my ID anyways, but that means looking my parents in the eye and explaining. That would mean telling all my old lady coworkers at home why. That would mean telling my boss here why. And that scares me so much. Because once I do they'll look at me differently. But it would make my life so easy to be able to change my name before I graduate. Because then I can go into my career field as Rain and not [redacted]. Granted as a teacher I'll just be referred to by my last name 90% of the time which tbh is somehow worse than redacted?? Explain that one to me.

Idk this is a very long ramble that pretty much sums up to be I am nonbinary and I love being nonbinary but man is the brain a funky place.

[depraved-gf]

Can I vent? Imma vent. I think you might appreciate the change of all sex stuff. Maybe.

So this is a very old wound, but it still bleeds every now and then. Back ground, I was the weird kid at school. I've always been kind of a loner. And I've always wanted my own "Tumblr girl" story. I met a girl on here and we just clicked. We became best friends, wed talk on a daily basis and spent around 6 hours on the phone once. I fell deeply in love got her, and I will admit; what happened next was completely my fault. I was selfish and dumb, I wanted my romantic version of her to be real and fall for me. I told her I liked her and she didn't like it, she Also had a boyfriend back then. Said we had never met. Oh, yes. That's right. Forgot to mention that. I lived in Mexico, and she was from the UK. Anyway, back then I would use Tumblr a lot more. And had my private blog where I would vent. I had a shit load of posts about her, might have been a tad bit obsessed. But being a Scorpio thats kinda like it is. Well, she somehow found it and freaked out. She asked me to never talk to her again and we'll; we talked about it and tried to fix things but the damage was done and she didn't want anything else to do with me. One year later she blocked me on every social media and her phone. My world came crashing in, and even tho I could have made other accounts and stalk her, I knew she didn't want that. So I didn't. I dealt with my anxiety on my own. How could someone who had seen how much they meant to me, do that? A few years passed and she sent me a message through xbox (we used to play for hours together). She asked me why I had done all of those things. When she sent me that message I had my head in a whole different space, and I missed the message. Could I have fixed things? (Should I also mention she used to read my erotic stories? The last story I gave her to read was one that was CNC, kinda hardcore.) She ended up blocking me because I insisted on being friends. There was a lot I could have done differently. But yeah. That. low key, Still wish she sends me another message one day.

I wanna let you have this space to vent. I hear you and I see you <3 If you need advice or an unbiased perspective, I'm gonna give it below, but feel free to ignore if you just needed that space. :)

--------

The answer to your question? Maybe. Maybe you could've fixed things, and maybe she'll reach out again. There's really no telling since we can't read her mind.

If she sent you a message years later even asking for clarification, she might pop up again one day. But it's most important that you let her have that space to come back if/when she wants. If you were a little pushy or insistent, along with having a private blog about her and she found it... It can cause some really scary and uneasy feelings, even if you meant well.

But I really wanna address the question: "how could someone who had seen how much they meant to me do that?"

The thing is, she doesn't owe you anything regardless of your feelings to her. I know it feels unfair, especially when feelings are unrequited. I empathize greatly with this and I know how downright painful it can be. I've been there. I'm still blocked by someone I once adored but fucked up with. Ultimately, we both made someone feel uncomfortable and they had the right to block us. And unfortunately, we have to be okay with that.

But again, and I can't stress this enough - let her come to you, baby. By doing this, you her know that her boundaries are respected by you.

Still, overall, I hope you're taking care of yourself. Never forget that you deserve to be taken care of. Go out, get into some really rad new hobbies, sniff some flowers, enjoy time with any friends of family you may have. Take it one day at a time.

Whether you reconcile with this girl or not, there will be other loves that light your soul on fire, maybe even moreso than you've ever before experienced. You're gonna be alright ♡

[onethousandrbirds]

hey! sorry to ask, i'm just curious but i cannot figure it out — what is the one that's suspiciously missing from those bad kink posts? (i tried looking at the notes for clues but lasted about a second before being taken out by the people asking this random person on the internet what kind of sex they're allowed to have. i feel like i'd need... idk a psychology degree to even begin to understand how someone gets there.)

oh, no big. i wrote both of my posts to be both playfully obtuse—you were never going to find clues in the notes b/c i don't think anyone there noticed the same thing i did. also this might be a bit long, so feel free to skip down to the TLDR; under the cut

so in both linked posts that i was responding to the overall thesis is "being pro-kink doesn't mean loving all of them but it does mean recognizing that what consenting adults do together is neither a moral failing or any of your business" and they mention some controversial kinks (ageplay, cnc, incest shipping, fauxcest, petplay, somnophilia, intoxication kinks, and much more¹) as an example of this idea.

because they name kinks that people often find themselves having intense feelings about re: their morality and their ethical performance, i noticed within these lists a lack (technically a lot of lacks since it would be impossible to list off every controversial kink in existence, but that's neither here nor there in this moment). but for example, in posts that gesture towards this overall idea of "pro-kink" or "neutral support of kink" often seem incapable of recognizing that kinks based on bigotry—race play for instance (this will serve as my main example for the rest of this response)—exist as well.

and my observation that i was originally talking around was that perhaps kinks like that one can't be brought up alongside the others (regardless of the baggage they all may carry) because maybe the OP really does think that one is a unique brand of evil or because their knowledge of kink is pretty limited and thus their own perspective of their idea might be limited or because they recognize that to even broach that topic with something that degree of abject would get a theoretical reader to stop listening entirely. but who knows for sure though?

like, that particular kink does make me VERY uncomfortable (for obvious reasons, i hope) and so whenever i see posts like the two linked here that gesture broadly to "scary" kink being okay but somehow never seem to mention ones like this, i get suspicious. and that's not a ding on either of these posts i'm responding to! instead it's me doing a meta thought experiment of sorts. like the posts are right: if you are "pro-kink and pro-weird nasty gay sex" then you do have to accept that there's gonna be something in that classification you will find abject but your disgust doesn't define the morality of those acts. however! it's pretty easy to remember that in the face of kinks that maybe only exist as abstract ideas and that you may have only dealt with in the theoretical space rather than ones that may (or may seem) to effect you on a material level!

which brings me back to the absence of mentioning certain "bad" kinks. i've been in school studying literary analysis for the past 12 years of my life. one of the earliest things they teach you to do is "observe what a text is saying, but also what it is (or can)not." and so when i see posts like the two linked above i can't help but find it interesting (in a completely neutral sense, i swear) when i notice these recurring absences. i also can't help but speculate about them either, but speculation requires active thought which i might not always have the wherewithal for.

(and to digress re: the weird discussion you noticed in the notes: that just sounds like people cosmically missing the point to avoid thinking about the matter at hand.)

so tldr; there isn't a "one" actually. i was just observing that, even in a laissez faire approach to kink, something has to still remain unspeakable or unmentioned—especially when communicating to groups of people who might stop listening entirely if one takes the laissez fair perspective to its logical conclusion in an explicit manner or if one feels that perspective might require them to "accept/like/tolerate" things which may be pretty dang close to sources of harm in their everyday life.

i hope this all made sense/helped

¹ the "and much more" in this post technically covers the wide swath of even more unforgivable/unspeakable kinks but notice: still it cannot/does not/will not name drop them specifically and instead rhetorically relies on you, the reader, to fill in that blank for it

[daisywords]

Happy STS! Is there a story that haunts you? Something you never finished, or something you wrote but lost somehow? Something you��d like to revisit but haven’t, for whatever reason?

I have lots of unfinished things that haunt me actually, but one of them that I don't think I've talked about on here was this weird little gothic story I started that centered on two identical twins meeting back at their childhood home as young adults, just kind of remembering/working through past events as they individually start on opposite sides of the house and work their way through until they finally meet up in the upstairs room where the og tragic event™ occurred.

It wasn't very well-formed (just me playing with a lot of ideas and style) but one thing that was really fun was that it would alternate their perspectives and it was all written like letters addressed to each other (not actual letter but like using "I" and "you")

Anyway I just think about it sometimes bc subject-wise it was really different from the kinds of things I usually write, but as a style experiment I think it really did play a role in shaping my current style. Also it might have been the first real manifestation of my obsession with flashback/dual timeline narratives, which is also the structure of one of my current wips!

anyway here's the beginning of it under the cut if anyone's interested:

We stood in the pond to watch the old mill burn, while ashes drifted down and settled on the surface of the water like rose petals. Our dresses swirled around our legs, intertwining us. Our fingers intertwined to match. The mill crackled and popped and roared loud enough that if we had tried to say anything, it couldn't have been heard. We didn’t. 

You can still see the mill’s charred corpse behind the house, on the other side of the pond. From the corner of your eye it is a black skeleton hand, reaching for you in the distance. 

I wade into the pond. It’s shallower than it used to be, and muckier at the bottom. Slime oozes between my toes. I don’t stay in the water. Without you there’s no hand to hold. There’s no dress to swirl against mine. There’s not even anyone to not talk to. 

On summer nights we’d sneak out in our nightdresses, scampering barefoot through the mud and the grass that made our ankles itch. You would pull your nightdress over your head without a second thought, but I would always check to see if the coast was clear. It always was, like you said it’d be. I always undressed second, but I waded in before you did, and watched you stand, pale and unafraid in the night like some kind of forgotten moon fae. 

Then you would join me and we’d clear our skin of the summer sweat. You always said the best part was dipping your head in, but I liked it  best when I pulled it out again, because you don’t notice the cicadas until you can’t hear them for a moment. 

Now the brackish water will dry into a crust on my ankles. The hem of my dress is tinged brown. 

Who ever thought even this place would be ruined?

[glowinthedarkz0mbie]

Genuinely hilarious to put my last "relationship" into perspective.

1. We get 2gether, idgaf if he sexts anyone, anytime, idgaf if he finds someone better (I literally implored him...)

2. I spend about five years feeling immense guilt for even thinking about how cute anyone else is because bf didn't really communicate how he felt about that. (Until the very end ???)

3. I fall in love with someone who understands me like nobody I've met before, someone who's showed me that i don't actually know what it's like to be respected and loved, somebody who is the kindest most hard working person I've ever met, our personalities are a million times more compatible, they don't make me feel pressured to do things I really don't want to, they don't make me insecure about my body and then say I did that to them(he's a fucking twig calling himself fat. How tf u think that makes ME feel you stupid ugly bitch I WEIGH MORE THAN YOU!!!!😒 kys.)

4. I decide to be honest and tell him straight up when we start feeling sexual tension between us.

5. He becomes possessive, starts showing the same signs he literally watched me break up with people for ???

6. Becomes incredibly hostile towards my best friend, someone who has more life experience, wisdom, intelligence and genuine skill that he will legit ever have. I also knew from the beginning that he would be attracted to them too but whatever bozo LMAOO, we break up after he goes through my phone as I'm sleeping.(and yeah, RLLY shoulda done that sooner but the way he was acting was really scaring me. NOW I KNOW WHY 🙂)

7. He reveals his true personality bit by bit (cyberbullying my best friend, brainwashing them into hating themself, continuously violated their privacy, manipulated tf out of us.) and the more I get to know him the more I remember how much he legitimately didn't know the first things about me during the relationship. He literally faked so much...lied SO MUCH. five years wasted on somebody I didn't fucking know. Someone who absolutely would have fucking made fun of me in school. Someone who will never have the life experience to even understand me or anything about me.

8. I find out about him harassing my bestie, I set the record straight and tell him EXACTLY what the fuck is up. He apologizes and says he was wrong and stupid blah blah blah.

9. Never really changes...ends up kinda just proving his apology meant nothing but then still tries to be friends with my bestie.

10. Starts being really fuckin weird with bestie, makes them uncomfortable a lot.

11. Ends up "falling in love" with them 💀

12. He gets pissed off and reveals himself as a true stereotypical male and feels like my bestie somehow OWES HIM for that little "friendship" he attempted with them ???? Yeah you can slit your throat and post it you ugly cunt. The fact that I really had the capacity to love THAT, and disregard so fucking much because I LOVED HIM. For him to say "you never loved me."

Pal, ONE of us loved the other enough to say "if you find someone who makes you happy I want you to be with them." And BITCH! IT WASNT YOU!

[lilacerull0]

Thoughts about Jess really make me go into all sort of tangents lol. Cause like, while I was watching the first season I was talking with my mom about how small towns are portrayed in media.

It's something I've been paying extra attention to a lot lately, since I'm writing njabbic, and growing up in a small town (technically a village actually) is a big part of Aria's backstory and what shaped her into who she is. And in my story, the small town is portrayed very negatively, which I feel is very common. It's the whole "small town, small minds" thing, which is something that gets repeated in njabbic a lot. Just that the smaller the population is the less diversity there's gonna be, and then when someone is different it really stands out. Also if everyone knows everyone, there's really no place to escape. You can't be anonymous. Also since njabbic takes place in the 90s when they didn't have internet, there's really not much to do where Aria lives except gossip, which only makes the problems worse.

And there's also idea that small towns are limiting. Aria has always had big dreams and a longing for adventure, which none of her peers share and find her strange for having. Her dreams are literally bigger than her home, which is why she feels trapped.

And then there's the positive side of things, which is a lot of what Stars Hollow feels like in the beginning. Where the small size of the population and everyone knowing everyone results in a really tight knit community. Like a really big family with all that small town charm as well. Also the fact that like every resident is super weird and eccentric somehow (affectionate for everyone except Taylor).

And in the first season, this is mainly how Stars Hallow is portrayed (they even have an entire plot line where Paris tries to discover the town's "dark side" and it's meant to be funny because it doesn't have one), but when Jess enters in season 2 it shows aspects of the town that aligns with that first example (here's your story Paris). And I think it's interesting that the world is afforded this complexity, and what it says about how these portrayals differ because of who's telling the story. Cause if Jess had been the main character of the show it most definitely would've been portrayed as example number 1. I don't know, it's just about how people and places are complex and one's perfect blah blah.

Oh yes, definitely! Gilmore Girls always does that thing where they simultaneously confirm a stereotype and demolish it, which I've mentioned before. It's all about the perspective and it's lovely to see that same manner of writing applied to the characters. The problem (well, one of the problems) with a tight-knit community is that they don't do so well with change and what's so heartbreaking about their treatment of Jess is that it's more of a treatment of this caricature, a made up character with this boy's face, personification of unpleasant aspects of change. But naturally, everything they say and do inevitably affects him and messes with his self image which wasn't too positive to start with. And then you have Rory!!! Who deals with the opposite issue, but it's an issue that comes from the same source which makes Rory and Jess the perfect reflections of each other. Jess is only ever associated with failure, Rory is never allowed to fail which leads to her actual mistakes being regarded as the mistakes of this other, made up Rory because the real Rory can't possibly afford to be anything other than an angel, anything other than the nice, good kid. (I have to recommend @jonismitchell 's beautiful writing piece that deals with the struggles of being "the cool girl". One of the best writing pieces I've ever encountered and while it doesn't deal with Gilmore Girls specifically, I think it's still relevant to the subject.) Re: see how Rory's treated after the car accident. I think that situation perfectly reflects the different ways in which the town exaggerates a singular trait these young people possess (or have appeared to possess) and only see them through that lens. That's why, to find comfort and understanding, Jess and Rory always have to be away from the town somehow, sometimes even physically. (the bridge, New York, the empty diner) It functions as a metaphor for the world they created prompted by each other's presence where they can not only be who they are, but also REALISE for the first time that they aren't this one unchangeable point in time and space. (This is where I talk about how romanticism is Literati's historical movement.) That they aren't only capable of changing, but that there's more to them right now, in the moment of speaking. Jess questions Rory's lifelong dream, she questions his predictions about his future. Maybe he doesn't only have to work to survive, maybe he can work to survive and love the work that he does. Which means a lot, someone seeing that kind of potential in you, when your whole life so far has been about holding onto the edges of the world that doesn't love you and trying to preserve against whatever lies behind existence, all that on your own. (Rory doesn't get enough credit for her unwavering faith in people and the ability to focus on the good in them.)

But the town loves Rory, and she loves her town. She loves Stars Hollow. It's small and everybody knows everybody and she's loved. Well, the person she thinks she should be is loved. But still, it's love because love is not fixed in stone the way that Rory's future is. So she's always torn between satisfying everybody else and satisfying herself and the former always seems like a better option because a part of her doesn't want to be anything except the person that she should be, the fixed point, the ideal. That other choice would acquire change and a complete reexamination of her identity. (this is what makes Jess's progress soooo good) Who else is reluctant when it comes to change? Small towns. But Rory's dreams are big, she wants to travel and see the world the same way Little Women's Amy March does. ("I was impatient, I wanted to get out into the world.") How do you accomplish both the internal AND external peace when your own self feeds on contradiction?

So Amy sailed away to find the old world, which is always new and beautiful to young eyes, while her father and friend watched her from the shore, fervently hoping that none but gentle fortunes would befall the happy-hearted girl, who waved her hand to them till they could see nothing but the summer sunshine dazzling on the sea.

I really love it when places are shown to parallel people because there's a whole entire world in all of us, but the common mistake is pursuing this one place per person logic. Because often times, the world within you doesn't exactly match anything external perfectly. It's more like a mosaic of different places and it just keeps building itself, it's a city and a little town and a person. A speck of dust burdened by being larger than life. I think that's why it's often said that home is found in others because you're more likely to find similarities or understanding between two collages of experience, no matter how different the pieces they're made out of are, the concept their presence relies on is the same. Just... places changing the people and people changing the places. They always end up painted one over the other and you can rarely tell which one came first.

[pumpkinpaix]

Hi, pumpkinpaix....don't know if you remember, but I've asked before of your top 5 fav mxtx characters, and you've answered them. If you don't mind me asking, can I ask you, why you like those characters? Sorry, if I ask you similar question again......

hey, no problem!! :D I like talking about my favorite fictional people haha. since 15 characters is a bit much, I’m gonna just take a sample of the top four out of the 15. :)

1. Lan Xichen

I think most everyone following me at this point knows that I am always on my lxc defense thesis bullshit, but: look. i’m defensive of him! I love him! and I think that he occupies a really tragic and important place in the narrative. I remember I said before somewhere that I think there are three characters that are portrayed to be paragons of virtue/goodness within mdzs and all three were met with tragedy: jiang yanli, xiao xingchen, and lan xichen, but that the tragedy isn’t meant to show that kindness only meets with tragedy, or that kindness is always naive, or that kindness is stupid--I think it’s meant to show that kindness is not always rewarded because life is not a fair game. however! that doesn’t mean that kindness is useless! again, just--kindness is not always rewarded, but its absence devastates. that’s something we see again and again: if only people had been kinder to jin guangyao or xue yang or whatever etc etc. perhaps things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. I think that’s a something the narrative says pretty explicitly. what could these people have been if they had been afforded a fair shot? what could these people have been if others had acted more like jiang yanli, or xiao xingchen, or lan xichen?

anyways, I also find that lan xichen is often held to incredibly bizarre standards that don’t plague jiang yanli or xiao xingchen, and it feels telling in some way about how we (speaking from an american?? perspective i think) think about and treat the concept of compassion. that being compassionate is stupid and foolish and idealistic and exasperating. that being jaded and bitter is somehow a mark of intelligence and worldliness. I care very much that lan xichen isn’t that -- that he’s an incredible cultivator, warrior, sect heir, that he’s respected by everyone! but that even in all of that, he chooses to continue acting kindly.

this isn’t well-worded, but like. you get the idea. also: he is Big Relate, what with his intense eldest daughter syndrome, conflict resolution strategies, and the way he struggles with and makes his moral decisions. in his position, I would have made pretty much all the same choices in mdzs as he did for very difficult and upsetting reasons. i just. lov him ok.

2. Xie Lian

tbh, just take a look at this post aslkdjf. my love for xie lian is adjacent to my love for lxc, with the added bonus of: xie lian is capable of immense, terrible cruelty as well. if lan xichen is about the need for kindness in the face of an imperfect world, then I think xie lian is about the sheer cost of it. what does it take to be kind when you want to be cruel? when you have every reason to be cruel? when you have the means to do great harm? ugh. 

3. Yin Yu

god, how do I start with yin yu? yin yu really exemplifies, to me, how intensely complicated your feelings towards something or someone can be. I think that his deep hatred for quan yizhen is just as real as his very deep love for him, and that the existence of both at the same time is a constant torment. for me, someone who struggles A Lot with holding complicated feelings towards people (my brain DESPERATELY wants to put things in a “good” or “bad” box and when something is complicated it tends to self-destruct), i really loved seeing that kind of... intense conflict? in a character. because there’s no part that ever says he’s ACTUALLY just resentful or he’s ACTUALLY just loving. no part of his emotional turmoil is a untrue, but so what? so i resent him, so what? why should I choose to act on that emotion rather than another? idk. it’s a choice. and yin yu makes it. ugh. god i love him.

4. Gongyi Xiao

he is Simply Best Boy. [spoilers for SV] I think what I really like about gongyi xiao is that he’s.... like, quite simple in his motivations? he's just like. a Good Guy. he’s talented! in any other situation, he would be the protagonist of his own story. he’s not bitter about losing, he’s diligent, hardworking, kind. he’s disappointed if he fucks up, but he also tries his best. idk he’s just like! he’s just sweet. I like that a lot. and i also, in a weird way, really like his death. it’s so inconsequential. why was he killed? because he was there. because it was convenient. a boy talented enough to be a protagonist in his own right, but his story ends offscreen, without drama, without fanfare, and for so little reason. that’s a different kind of tragedy. you know that bit in the adventure zone?? not all exits are equal? sometimes, it just happens. idk. it really got to me, to learn that gongyi xiao died for no reason, alone, unaware, unexpectedly, and then to never hear of him again. gah.

[ao3gingerswag]

HI HELLO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

okay so I've been like thinking these things for weeks but I've been very unmotivated so I'm saying them all now!! so prepare for multiple asks!! or something!!

okay so I've just been rereading my all time fave fics and there was this one like in one of them- 'I’m not *stupid*, I just can’t read' and it immediately made me think of your writing, like kyis, first of all (and actually more on that bc obviously I've been rereading that too as one of the Best Fics Ever™ and holy SHIT it's so good. I cannot believe no one has made a podfic for it yet, bc wow especially after listening to the extract that was read out at the beginning of the podcast episode I NEED someone to read this shit to me so I can savour every bloody word bc dammit I'm a skim reader and its TOO GOOD for me to be skimming the fucking words!!!!! anyways needed to get that of my chest back to the regularly scheduled programming) but then also with wander home, I feel like with sam being able to read its definitely gonna be cashing some form of angst for the other boys, dean I think similar to in kyis but also with all his bucket load of self worth issues it's like makes sense uno. but also with cas, I feel like cas thinks of himself as not that intelligent at all. we know he thinks quite poorly of himself due to his autism, and I feel like he would consider himself not actually smart but rather just weird, especially with him being uneducated and I think his struggles with running the inn, especially before dean and sam would rly effect his opinion of himself and lead to some self-hate. so anyways, then I feel like when sam enters the picture and interacts with cas (once everything has settled down and they start interacting NOT in a life-or-death situation) I feel like he'll add an outsider perspective and realise that actually yeah cas *is* actually rly smart. like, he'll be talking with cas about something - like uno spewing all his knowledge like the little nerd he is - and cas will be following along but as soon sam tries to engage him cas will be like 'I'm sorry Sam, I'm not smart enough to know that' and sam is like grhhh yes you are!! and then he tries to push it bc hes Sam and is like 'but u were just telling me and *insert something cas knows, like about nature or the like* yesterday! and you knew loads!' and cas dismisses it bc that's a result of him being abnormal not being smart and then there's a whole little journey of sam trying to convince cas he's actually smart with many trials and tribulations but eventually it ends up with them having their lil debates/Intellectual Conversations about whatever Sam has recently learned with his lessons and it's all :)) (bonus scene is dean observing them and when they try to involve him he's like 'yeah no not gonna happen, idc if u say I'm not dumb sam, not all of us can be Aquinas okay?')

I justify the aquinas reference bc I had to know him for a subject and now I've gotten my exams back and I somehow haven't flopped them!! which means I never have to do that subject again and I feel the need to at least somewhat reference the worthless knowledge in my brain :')

ok first of all what is the fic ur referring to drop the fic!! (even if its not destiel ill read anything lol!)

also thank u so much ;~; <3 idk no one has ever offered to make a podfic and i am terrible at reading out loud so i def cannot but if anyone ever offered i would totally be down for that!

i think ur so right, i think cas def does not think of himself as smart at all, when he actually is!! and i think he's a giant nerd as well who would def find a lot of the stuff sam rambles about to be very interesting. hes not a Certified Genius like sam and doesnt have the same Desperate Thirst For Knowledge but he also genuinely finds this stuff interesting!!! i think they bond so well over nerd stuff!! but yes!! sammy following him around once he trusts him more bc dean will indulge him but he can tell hes bored to tears by sam talking about like geometry and its just going in one ear and out the other. hes like hmm wow thats interesting sam. yeah that is so cool ur right. but hes like falling asleep. so he starts talking to cas...maybe it starts bc cas overhears him talking to dean and is like ! wow really? and asks like an actual question. and sam is like YES finally and rambles his heart out and cas is actually listening and engaged and sam is like ok i like u now actually ur my friend. and starts talking to him about all the intellectual stuff. and yes him over time convincing sam that his intelligence isnt just a Symptom of Being Weird or even if it is who cares hes still smart???

and do u mean Thomas Aquinas? i have never read anything by him!! congrats on surviving ur exams tho!!!!!

[aolmer]

This is a short story about a person who is in a mental struggle with betrayal of friendship. It is up for how you want to interpret it. It is meant to express complex emotions that I think many people have but never claim or admit. I hope that by reading this it makes you think. I apologize for the weird format spacing but I'm not retyping all that on my phone and for whatever reason it won't let me put the paragraphs where they should be I did try. This is my first post and first short story I have ever wrote. Ok let's give it a go!!!

The Story's Tale

How funny it is, yet so heartbreaking to know. I wish I knew the whole story in advance. I did so very well, I tried, but I ignored it. My perception had blinded me; lost, I was wholly withdrawn and vulnerable, forever ignorant to its separate plot and focused solely on me.

My story tells a new but old, familiar tale. My own accord, it's always been just about me. I'm living each day by dawn and dusk, somehow always failing to see the plot in it all. I think you see it all so clearly - and you always have, silently blending in the shadows - but everything is just a blur to me. The vision of a perfect ending that I've longed for, my reflection in the mirror has since turned black.

Is this why you are so familiar to me? How did I not see it? Why was I so

foolish over who you are? How could I ever be anything that would show you something different? You saw it all along, so why did my novel bring you to read past chapter 1? You followed others when you knew the truth and saw the light; I could offer you nothing, yet you still remained by my side. I guess our curiosity will never end and we always have to know, but knowledge is half the battle when you can't answer things about yourself. Did you find your answer in the footprints of another’s steps? You had to know, silently standing in the distance, watching my mistakes unfold as I fell. You were the perfect ending, but you doubted it too long to truly see it.

Finding that sense of self-worth is a battle we all fight every day. You knew where it all went wrong, but at least now you can hum that old hymn your grandpa would sing every morning – the one that assured you that you were home, safe, and loved. A great feeling to experience once again, one you had

felt was gone forever. It's a good feeling to finally be where you belong; it brings a real smile to my face, the type I haven't had in a long while. A smile that I don't have to fake. This is why I call you the perfect ending. You were the answer I never found, as I never asked the right questions to end up where you are now. I can always tell a story - and some I'm more familiar with than my own - but like most, these tales still have a few pages missing. I know the book itself is at its most crucial part, just reaching its peak for that big moment, yet I still somehow miss it all.

Nevertheless, this moment of anger between us invariably buries itself into my peripatetic subconsciousness as an involuntary vicissitude that we carve our days around – which, in turn, unwillingly standardizes our lives as if we were meant to anticipate this occurrence and oblige. You saw it coming all along. Your vision couldn't be any clearer and I was too far away for my story to be heard the way it was meant.

My story tells itself with my time and pain, possessing me and portraying itself as a living entity, out on its own, ready to play the role of my life. Knowing all of my passions, all of my ambitions, and all of my wisdom, just to be used against me and viciously taken in haste, with no remorse or place for reconcile.

Still, the void in my heart, the purest form of malice cutting through flesh and straight to bone. I reach to take it all back with the very scourge of the story I never told. The things I've buried far too deeply that even it could never grasp. The words and agony were bitter and cursed, stabbing the heart like a thousand daggers with a twist, ensuring my pain was felt.

I will never know if I succeeded; I had retreated from the battle with myself and saw that I had lost myself for such a long time. I'm now so far beyond the years of sorrow and the attenuation of my soul. I've drowned myself in tears of contrition and reconciled myself to a sleepless reverie that means, even now on the

very still and tranquil new moon nights that tell this story so well, I lie awake.

All I wanted was for someone to care. I blamed anyone but myself for my mistakes. No mind so perfect could be this flawed. Now, somehow, I'm expected to know the stories I've never had the chance to hear coming from the people standing before me today, claiming they were told from long before. I could finally see the truth in you clearly, your value as a person; I see that I bid far too low. Why couldn't I see that I could have been a better friend and listened to you? You were the only one that never led me wrong, yet I still made it about me. I displayed a role of a teacher to a student, when in fact it was I who was being taught. I never meant for it to be that way and my intentions were pure of heart - in my head. It all felt right, but even when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life will put you in your place and show you just how wrong you are.

The years pass by and I see many people come and go. This repeating

cycle of memories, old and new, is the last honest, profound thought I had before losing myself within the empty strands of time itself.

I am so lost in my dreams as time moves forward. This very moment takes its shape as if that cycle never began. The cycle you created to help me get where I need to be, but I was too lost in my own creation and failing to put faith in anything but me. I have no reason to complain now at being completely alone; I had pushed them away, one by one. You were always there and I was selfish, so I thank you now too late, my dearest friend.

We stand now eye to eye, inhale to exhale, trading the same old stories we thought we knew so well - when, in fact, we never knew any of them at all. I should have listened closer. It was never about me. I wanted to be different and I was sure in thought, as if it was calculated precisely. I should have followed when you called, but instead I tried to lead, blinded by my

arrogance. With a last look upon each other, our eyes stared deeply into the very core of our souls.

The stories are way too real and yet so vastly different between us. We see that our blessings, once so virtuous, are now concealed in jagged and shattered glass, consumed with detest. The anticipation of a joyous ending has long departed, hence I blindly wrote my name into the ending with every letter nearly perfect, as if it were an oil painting. The story’s end had now laid its path before me. The one I should have taken was the one you showed me, so now this path I walk alone.

Our vastly different tales in this cycle shared the very same fate - yet different from another’s eyes, as if it was only my blood that shed. We both took our departing breath and this became a story in itself, as we all fear facing death. The blink of an eye; the only thing we ever acknowledged as real in our lives lasted only a matter of minutes. I had missed my only chance. It was then, at

last, that our stories finally read the same. Peacefully, we drifted into an endless sea of thought, with nowhere to be and our minds laid to rest. Even that perfect ending truly wasn't as you thought it would be. A place we always end up as every road we take leads to the same place. A place where the words never mattered in the stories and our tales were left untold. These stories can't be put into words – we can’t tell the tale we don’t know how to read and explain.

The scream of a thousand words is all that we hear and as we speak, our utterance is breathless, drowned out in the sound of it all. It is pointless to speak at all, as those words were never said with your wasted breath. You were silent long before, just playing with the words you had left unsaid. Perhaps those words would have made a difference now. You always knew when it served to speak, a skill I should now learn. That’s why everyone listens when you do - of course, everyone but me. It pains me and

sorry can't be said, so it just becomes another word added to the thousand-word scream I hear every day in my head. I had missed it all and you showed me where to go, but the words you chose to speak left me to drown alone.

The novel slowly closes as it flips through the last few pages, left blank; as I drift into an eternal slumber, where I don't have to stay awake. Now is the moment I've sought so long, drifting apart from within as the epilogue gives closure. We know, at last, that the book was read.

It's such a shame I was too late. The silence is now so loud it's deafening. I wish for a moment where the thousand words would scream, as this silence has stripped away the last part of what I knew as me. At last we could see it as one. The first time to open my eyes - and perhaps the last, but at least we can see it honestly, one time, for all that it is. We can hear the most beautiful song ever written as the sounds of the silence breaks and

dissipates, returning the thousand word screams we could hear in our head. You now have joined me as we fade away into a void of black.

From my perspective, at least once, we may both see the light in all its glory. That feeling, the release, the peaceful hymns we heard as children that woke us every day - that we hated so much. Now those songs lead our way as the black fades away. A wonderful life we have yet to create, as we all missed something this crucial along the way. It was far from our time, but can't you see that you need me as much as I need you? We have to see the same light, even when it's different, as no one can see very well in the dark.

Being alive is the only thing that I'll never understand, but it feels so good to be back home. I haven’t seen that smile from you, my friend, for forever and a day. Can we take a walk together, one last time, but you lead the way this time? It's not a surprise for me to see you shake your head to answer no. We begin to walk along side by side. I had almost missed it all again and can't ever seem to get

it right. Now I see that you continue to shake your head to answer no, still never saying words unless necessary. I fall silent as well and continue to walk by your side, thinking about the days that lie ahead and all the life I had left to live. It feels good to walk by my friend once again.

Where does this feeling come from? But maybe it’s only a moment we had forgotten. Is this why you are so famiiar to me? What led you to read past chapter one with me? I finally knew the answer to the questions where it all began - and when it occurred, I could finally see that it's not hard to understand. I had it right all along, but I never had the pen to write it down. I focused on the things that made life hard, then on these moments when I would be sure to have a pen to write it down. As I take this walk with my friend, the days are all familiar; the good and the bad create the same old stories our parents read before us. You had to compromise and learn as

well, taking the lead when your bell rang and speaking more so I never got left behind. It was never hard to understand, but we had both missed so much. You can't live life thinking that your story is something new - that was my biggest flaw. The drowning of my being shy at your helping hand.

Everyone's story is a chapter in a book, but even when that story is different, it still reads and ends the same way. Without sharing our stories, the book can never be read. The story to know is the easiest one to get and our life writes it down as we go, adding another chapter to its pages. Now we make the perfect beginning and end.

I walk now with my friend by my side, a moment to be cherished. It's good to know that, regardless of what happens, no one’s story is different - it all begins and ends the same. The best stories always come from those that are heard and those we create. It truly is a great day to hear your voice again, to hear our voices together at

last. We both know where the road leads now, so which direction shall we go? Like a river we flowed, letting our will guide where we went as we walked along the way, sharing all of the stories we had left unsaid from the beginning to the end of all our days. That familiar feeling, the wonderul feeling you get at the start of a new chaper. We have read this once before, my friend, and it’s a great day to start again. The same old stories we would always tell, but we never wrote in ink.

The End

@givethispromptatry

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Emma Watson has stalkers and a bodyguard

Posted on March 23 2014

From dailymail.co.uk March 2014, "Harry Potter star Emma Watson has hired a former NYPD officer as  a bodyguard to protect her from obsessed stalkers. The actress – thought to be worth £23  million – is believed to be paying the female officer £90,000 a year after a number of incidents of threatening behaviour towards her. The latest came as Emma, 23, right, was working on her new movie Noah, when an over-zealous ‘fan’ duped studio security staff and got on to the set. Emma, was left screaming, believing she was in danger, and filming had to stop. The British actress, who played Hermione Granger in the Potter films, is now constantly shadowed by blonde former New York Police Department officer Denise Morrone. A source said: ‘The  one person Emma is never without is Denise. 'Emma has had problems with stalkers in the past and, because of her wealth, there is always the threat of kidnap. 'She pays for her bodyguard out of her own pocket and Denise accompanies her everywhere, even when Emma is out for dinner. Denise is always there, making sure she is safe.’ Another source said: ‘Denise is on high alert for one particular stalker who tracked Emma down on the set of her latest film. ‘She is very discreet and very good at her job. She is always there looking after Emma, but you wouldn’t know. ‘She makes sure Emma has plenty of space and freedom. If they are at dinner, Denise is part of the gathering, but is always on duty.’ The new arrangement marks a departure for Emma, who has seemed determined to try to live a low-key, normal private life unencumbered by a security detail. Post-Potter she went to Brown University in Rhode Island, New England, and Worcester College, Oxford, to study for a degree. When she has appeared in public she has had no visible entourage. A spokesman for Miss Watson, who has homes in  London and New York, declined to comment." ^That's what the dailymail says but here below is what Emma said at the time.

From fansshare.com October 2012, "There was a lot of fuss made recently about the fact that a man who has been stalking Emma Watson managed to get onto her set before being chased off into the woods. It was claimed that Emma was terrified by the incident and feared for her safety.  However, it appears that the claims were not true, as Emma has spoken out about the “incident” stating that nothing of the sort happened. Emma felt that she needed to let everybody know what’s what and hoped to clear up any confusion about the stalker situation. Watson took to her official Twitter account to say, “Ok. Few things to clear up. I was not terrified by a stalker in the woods. And he was not fought off by martial arts experts.#whowrotethisstory”. I don't get this DM article because Emma has had this bodyguard for ten years. I think this might be a great big dose of media sensationalism or maybe a planted story so everyone will go, "Aww poor Emma" because she has said some really dumb things lately. I've seen photos of Denise (the older blonde lady we always see her with) with Emma as far back as 2005 Here they are outside the Regis and Kelly show (USA) in 2005 and to the right currently in 2014

^She still looks 15 doesn't she? I've seen one or two candids of Denise with Emma at Brown. I've read an article from a Brown website (thank anonymous for tipping me off) where they were talking about her bodyguards on campus that followed her around. Here's Emma, some guy and Denise at Brown in the fall of 2010 (I can't find the others)

Here she is talking about stalkers in her GQ interview from last year From gq-magazine.co.uk May 2013, "Did you have stalkers? 'Yes. I do have people who show up from time to time in different parts of the world. I've never really known how to respond; I've never really known if I should be afraid or not. This is how I put it into perspective: thousands of women all over the world have to deal with feeling afraid when they walk home from the Tube, on their way to work, when they go out for a drink. Feeling not safe isn't something that is singular to me or my experience as a woman, and I don't think any of these people mean me any harm. They just tend to be people caught up, who don't really realise what they are doing, and I think it is very important that I don't allow it to isolate me further, to be another reason why I shouldn't go out and meet people or walk down the street. Weird guys sometimes take it too far, and that is it. I just keep a friend with me. I don't have a full-time security guard or anything like that. Even at university I went everywhere completely alone, which looking back was probably a pretty ambitious thing that I tried to do there, but somehow I got away with it. There were times when I did feel stressed and anxious and could probably have done with a bit more support. At the same time I would rather make my own mistakes and learn what I need. I think it is so easy when you get famous to just disengage from having a life and that can make some things really dangerous.'" Remember she told rookie magazine she used to lie about walking to places but had a car waiting for her? She was trying to make it seem she has this normal life. I reckon this could be another little white lie about not having a full-time guard because we've seen Denise with her for years. She's the woman that pushes people away and pulls her from signing autographs and even refuses people. How about other instances like Glastonbury where that big muscular man tailed her everywhere. At airports when Denise is not there she has men which looks to be bodyguards to me. When she went to the Box Night Club she had a bodyguard. They're rare shots because most candids are just of Emma and Denise or Emma and a friend or boyfriend. You really think Emma travels alone? For example

Last photo from 2011: Check this out and seethe altercation You rarely catch her bodyguards photographed other than Denise who looks more than just a bodyguard. I think she's more like a bodyguard/assistant. I bet they are always around but you wouldn't know it. I'd go as far as saying they probably follow her from a distance to make it seem like she's really by herself. Here's something she said in 2009 and it was really stupid From wonderwall.msn.com July 2009 (interview with Dan, Rupert and Emma. she started brown in Sept 09) In this film, Ron has sort of a stalker girlfriend. Has it ever gotten strange where you're dating people who are more interested in dating Harry, Ron or Hermione rather than yourselves? Emma Watson: "I'm dating my stalker, actually." It's dumb to even give a stalker the time or day in a magazine discussing them. It will probably embolden them by fueling whatever twisted fantasies they have in their head. If it were me I would not even mention it. In 2010 she said this From digitalspy.com November 2010, "Emma Watson has revealed that she and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint used to hide from their security guards. The actress admitted that she "hates" having bodyguards and prefers to deal with the attention she receives on her own. Watson explained: "I hate having bodyguards and when we were younger, Dan, Rupert and I used to try to hide from the people trying to keep an eye on us." The 20-year-old went on to say that she now feels comfortable traveling on public transport by herself. She added: "Now it's like, 'Really, I'm fine'. I take the train and the bus and, if I don't dress up too much, I'm usually fine. Occasionally people stop me but I'd rather deal with that than not go out at all. That'd be really tragic." In her most recent interview for Elle she said this From snitchseeker.com March 2014, “So while Radcliffe reportedly rarely leaves his house without a bodyguard, Watson memorably began her college career by moving into the freshman dorm-the very definition of exposed. She lopped off her hair, appeared in a student production of Chekhov. There were moment, she says, when she thought, “I don’t know if I can do this. Or if this is sensible anymore.” But she held firm, turning down high-profile work that would interfere with her studies. “I just don’t want a life where I can’t have a life, “she says. “And so I’ve been just unbelievably stubborn about it.” ^Peculiar and then this article comes out about her hired bodyguard. Could it have been Radcliffe's people saying, "Hey, wait a minute" and then ratted Emma out? That last quote, the newer one, is of course a total contradiction from what she said about Brown before. I don't know it's that's the truth or this is some rouse to plant the idea she was heckled out of college life. I don't know but one thing is for sure I don't believe most of what comes out of this girls mouth. I'm like those towns people that had it with the games of the little boy that cried wolf. As for the stalking it's the only thing I'll give her sympathy for. I think it would suck. If it's an over zealous stan or a weirdo I don't think it's cool. If you like or even dislike her there are still lines you should never cross and that includes invading her space. She's just one fake ass actress that lives in her own head that plays make believe and makes millions off it. Then of course she complains about it and manipulates the media and her fan base to cover up "the real Emma Watson". She's a prettily weaved illusion designed to trick you. There is no such thing as the perfect person and just because she is pretty it does not make her perfect girlfriend material. Stans and weirdos please understand this.

[misstrashchan]

The Man With Two Souls, Pt. 2

Okay, so this ended up being a fucking long part 2 to my previous meta post. There was a lot I wanted to get down, and if it doesn't make sense or you don't agree with it, that's fine, I'd just be happy if you read it. Now I can rest until the finale comes and beats me up.

So, there's a few more Salem and Adam parallels to start off with like

(8) Having the same reaction to hearing someone mention Blake and Oz and the possibility of them getting the upper hand against them

(9) Chronologically after this happens (we see Adam destroy the throne room in Volume 6 episode 2, but we see him lose his mask at the end of the Adam trailer) deciding to go after Blake on his own while Salem creates the winged Beringel grimm and plans to go to Atlas herself, presumably to go after Oscar/Ozpin so he doesn't get in the way of her plans (as well as Ruby since she clearly needs her as well)

"If you want something done right, you do it yourself" - Volume 6 Chapter 13

(10) Adam and Salem telling Blake and Oz about how they're going to destroy them and those around them

"The ability to derive strength from hope is undoubtedly mankind's greatest attribute. Which is why I will focus all of my effort to snuff it out. How does it feel? Knowing that all your time and effort has been for nothing. That your guardians have failed you. That everything you've built will be torn down before your very eyes."

"So you send your guardians, your huntsman and huntresses. And when they fail and you turn to your smaller soul, know that you send her to the same pitiful demise. This is the beginning of the end, Ozpin. And I can't wait to watch you burn." - Salem, Volume 3 Chapter 12

"What you want is impossible! But I understand. Because all I want is you, Blake. And as I set out and deliver the justice mankind so greatly deserves, I will make it my mission to destroy everything you love. Starting with her." - Adam, Volume 3 Chapter 11

(11) Salem and Adam's perception of Oz and Blake affecting their perspective of themselves... and the audience.

Okay, this one's honestly kind of weird. For so, so long there were a lot of people who bought into the idea that Ozpin was secretly evil or somehow worse than Salem, or that he'd done something terrible and unforgivable to Salem. I fully admit, I was one of those people. I mean, I didn't think he was evil, but the way Salem talked to him at the end of volume 3, listening to the song Divide, I thought, he must have done something bad to Salem, right? How could she hate him so much otherwise?

And the worst thing he did... was leave her. When he couldn't go along with being a genocidal dictator of the whole world alongside Salem, and didn't want their children to be a part of that either.

And as for Adam, he tells Blake that she hurt him more than anybody because she left him.

"All sorts of people hurt me in all sorts of different ways. But no one hurt me quite like you, Blake. You didn't leave scars. You just left me alone." - Adam, Volume 6 Chapter 12

And Salem would also have been hurt from Ozma trying to leave her. Especially when you think about her backstory, how she was kept isolated in a tower, and instead of finding freedom in the outside world, found it in Ozma. And then he died, and she was alone again. And then the Gods destroyed humanity, and Salem is left alone one again for god knows how long.

"Once again, Salem was alone." - Volume 6 Chapter 3

And weirdly, similar to Ozpin there were people who bought into Adam's false perception of Blake too. That Blake is somehow the one who hurt Adam more than he hurt her (which is, completely insane).

And Salem and Adam want Oz and Blake to feel that way. To be paralyzed with self hatred and doubt, to be stuck in the past, and feel as if everything is their fault. That Salem and Adam are their responsibility, at first to save them, and then to stop them.

You see it with Adam's gaslighting, trying to paint her as an unfaithful coward. And I mean, just listen to the song Divide. The whole song is Salem trying to make out Ozpin to be the villain, that she's killing people but the real murderer is him for trying to give people hope, even if it was hope based on a desperate lie.

"It was you who ended their lives! Made them to dig their own graves! With your dark, sick, cruel design, convinced them their world could be saved." - Divide

And there were a lot of people convinced by Salem's song Divide that Ozpin was far worse than he really was, to the point it was surprising that he hadn't wronged Salem in some way like most people were expecting.

And Adam tries to make Blake believe that she's a coward, that she's selfish and weak, that running away from her problems is all she knows how to do.

And for a long while, Blake believed he was right. That she was toxic to the people around her, that she made things worse for them. And there were some people in the fandom who thought that she really was this toxic person.

It's actually kind of scary, but Salem and Adam managed to manipulate not only Blake and Oz's perception of themselves, but also the audience as well in how they saw them.

I don't doubt for a moment this is going to extend to Oscar as well if she meets him, that she'll likely try to convince him that he's just Ozpin and that he, Oscar, doesn't matter, and he'll fail and make the same mistakes as their past lives. Which undoubtedly parts of the fandom are going to take Salem's false perception of Oscar to heart as well and believe her.

Which brings me to move on from Blake's parallels with her first "soul" and Ozpin, to her second "soul" and Oscar.

Now Blake alluding to the Man with Two Souls is metaphorical, while in Oscar's case it's very literal, and it's no coincidence she's the one who first introduces us to the concept to us with the book she's reading during the Shining Beacon.

"...It's about a man with two souls. Each fighting for control over his body"

(It's important to note that the conflict between the two souls is not one of Good vs Evil)

Blake's conflict of her two metaphorical souls fighting for control, is the false perception Adam had of Blake and who she used to be with him, her past that she can't escape, and the struggle for her smaller, more honest soul, trying to define herself and decide who she wants to be. And for Oscar, he's struggling to define himself and decide who he wants to be, because of the merge with Ozpin, and that his past will become Oscar's too.

Both of them want to do the right thing and rise to their challenges, but it seems like such an impossible task to them that they're afraid to meet it.

"I'm... scared. I'm more scared than I've ever been. Than I ever thought was possible. I always knew I wanted to be more than a farmhand. But this? Who would ask for this?" - Oscar, Volume 5 Chapter 5

"I joined the Academy because I knew that Huntsman and Huntresses were regarded as the most noble warriors in the world. Always fighting for good. But I never really thought past that. When I leave the Academy what will I... How can I undo so many years of hate?" - Blake, Volume 2, Chapter 10

But the person who sees Blake's "other soul" the person she's truly capable of being, who she really is, even when she can't herself, is Yang.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. You're not one to back down from a challenge Blake." - Yang, Volume 2 Chapter 10

And the one who sees Oscar and who he's capable of being even when he can't himself, is Ruby.

"Hey Oscar? I know this isn't going to be easy. But the fact that you're trying says a lot about you. You're braver than you think." - Ruby, Volume 5 Chapter 5

Blake and Oscar are also the first people we see Yang and Ruby open up to about their past trauma. The difference between the two being that in the Burning the Candle scene Yang is more willing to be vulnerable around Blake, to let her guard down and open up to her about her abandonment issues and how they've affected her.

Because as a more emotionally mature character she understands she needs to do that in order to properly relate to Blake so she can offer her support. She gets frustrated however when Blake still refuses her support, and so she has to give her a push to accept it.

Ruby, however, isn't as emotionally mature as Yang, and doesn't find it easy to let down her guard and talk about her emotions. Her mentality being described as "I don't have time for my emotions, I've got to make sure everybody else is okay" - RWBY Rewind: Ruby Rose Rewinds With Us

She feels like she constantly needs to be a pillar of strength and support for everyone around her as a leader. She has a hard time opening up about her own feelings and being vulnerable around others. For her, it seems much more natural to internalize those feelings rather than face them head on. As a leader, she feels she isn't supposed to show fear or doubt. If she admits how she's hurting or how scared she is, she'd be afraid of those around her losing faith.

Ironically, it's Ozpin's words of advice to her that enforce this mentality

"But if you aren't constantly performing at your best, what reason do you give others to follow you?"

So even though only a minute ago Oscar saw that Ruby was clearly upset over something (being reminded of Penny's death)

Ruby then goes on to act like nothing's wrong when she then attempts to reassure Oscar. And it feels like a performance, and though Ruby genuinely does want to reassure him, it comes across as insincere to him. He's frustrated because Ruby isn't being honest about how she's feeling, and is only concerned with his feelings.

So in the Dojo scene we have Oscar start to push Ruby past that flawed mentality that Ozpin enforced, to be more honest about how she's feeling, to talk about how the Fall of Beacon and the loss of Phyrra and Penny affected her, how she's afraid of Salem killing people she cares about, and that she'd kill anyone regardless.

And with both Ruby and Yang opening up about their past experiences they can relate to Blake and Oscar's own fears, doubts and insecurities. Blake's need for answers and Oscar's fear of the fight with Salem, and Yang's need for answers and Ruby's fear of the fight with Salem.

"I told you! I'm not telling you to stop! I haven't. To this day I still want to know what happened to my mother and why she left me. But I will never let that search control me. We're going to find the answers we're looking for Blake. But if we destroy ourselves in the process what good are we?" - Yang, Volume 2 Chapter 6

"I am scared! But not just for me. What happened at Beacon shows that Salem doesn't care if you're standing against her or not. She'll kill anybody. And that, scares me most of all. Phyrra... Penny... I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. That I didn't think about them every day since I lost them. That I didn't wish I had spent more time with them. If it had been me instead, I know they would have kept fighting too. No matter how dangerous it was. So that's what I choose to do. To keep moving forward." - Ruby, Volume 5 Chapter 5

And by demonstrating their own resolve, as well as their belief in the kind of people Blake and Oscar are capable of being that inspires them to be that person.

"I'm. Not. Running."

"You. Will." - Blake and Adam, Volume 3 Chapter 11

"She made a choice. To put others before herself. And so do I."

"Then you've chosen death." - Oscar and Hazel, Volume 5 Chapter 12

There's also Blake expressing her doubt in Yang during volume 3 after she attacked Mecury, causing Yang to question her own judgement.

She compares it to how Adam used to attack people, and of course she knows Yang wouldn't do something like that without good reason, but she can't but feel like the situation is very familiar. And Blake knows Yang isn't Adam, and makes it clear that she's decided to trust Yang.

"I want to trust you. I will trust you." - Volume 3 Chapter 8

But despite that, Blake's words do still weigh on her mind even when she's alone, where Qrow comes to talk to her about what happened and reassure her, and then they end up talking about her mum.

And then with Ruby in volume 7, Oscar expresses his doubt in Ruby in her decision to lie and hide the truth from Ironwood, comparing it to how Ozpin did the same to them, which, similar to Yang, causes Ruby to question her own judgement. And obviously he knows Ruby isn't Ozpin, that she probably had a good reason for lying. But again, the situation just feels so familiar.

But ultimately he decides to put his trust in Ruby, even before Ironwood.

"I do believe in you. But not only you." - Volume 7 Chapter 7

And by episode 9 they're both on the same page in deciding to choose the truth over fear. (if only James could have stayed on that page too)

Similarly to Yang, we see Ruby alone in episode 4 of volume 7, and you can tell Oscar's words are still weighing on her mind, as Qrow comes over to talk to her and she asks him if she is like Ozpin, and he reassures her that she's not, and then they end up talking about her mother.

Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and you can call me out on my bullshit if you like, but I'm making a prediction (like, 12 hours from the finale, but hey, it might happen later in the series for all I know)

If we're going full in on the parallels here, remember how Yang lost an arm trying to protect Blake from Adam, and afterwards Blake ends up leaving Yang like Raven, believing she'd be better off without her?

And how Salem is on her way to Atlas after hearing Ozpin had reincarnated, the foreshadowing for Ruby losing an eye and them bringing up her trauma around Summer in Chapter 11?

On top of her wanting Ruby alive?

I'm gonna guess Ruby loses an eye trying to protect Oscar, and then afterwards either Oscar or Ruby tries to sacrifice and give themselves up to Salem, except it ends up being a hollow sacrifice like Summer's

"I didn't have a choice I did what I had to do I made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you!" - Red like Roses Part 2

Because Salem would end up taking both of them either way. I actually can't imagine a scenario where she doesn't, because she needs both of them. But one of them has a worse fate, a "bigger sacrifice" in store for them when they reach Evernight (which I'm still thinking is Ruby)

[eyecicles]

idk if you want to answer this but I've come across a theory several times now and I'd like to know your opinion: B creates 'Ryuzaki'. L adopts some of B's 'Ryuzaki' traits. L is still naturally quirky but he amplifies his weirdness. Thoughts?

Short answer: No

Long answer:

The biggest problem with theories like that, is that “Another Note” and “Death Note” were written by different people and I don’t think at all that AN is anywhere near the level of canon the manga is. This is actually a good thing, because otherwise we would have a lot of annoying contradictions (AN is filled with them already, lol) and I’d rather not have that.

So I could make this relatively short and point to what we have in the manga about the LABB case, which is this scene:

A case L hardly even remembers, since he has to google Naomi first, even though it was only one and a half years ago.

I tend to not believe that we’re supposed to read a book - not written by Obha/Obata - about a case L probably doesn’t even care about, to understand why L is so “eccentric” or “more eccentric than he naturally was even though he still is a bit weird”.

Not to mention that AN!L isn’t exactly like manga!L to begin with. If we don’t even consult HTR13, B isn’t canon at all. He’s briefly mentioned in the HTR13 as someone who “challenges L, a man he admires” (l o l). In the manga, there’s only a “perpetrator” of the “Los Angeles BB Serial Murder Case”.

The manga doesn’t offer an explanation to why L is the way he is and, really, do we even need one? A lot of characters use codenames, a lot of characters have strong personalities, Mello and Near are just as “quirky”, so why should L’s personality need an explanation when no one’s else does? The manga doesn’t ask why L is “weird” while “Another Note” asks us all kind of questions about who’s “Ryuzaki”. Chances are, the answer is not one to a question the manga doesn’t ask. We, as the readers, made that an issue and maybe there’s nothing to solve. Seriously, I think that’s a perspective not enough people think about.

I do, however, believe that everyone can decide on their own how seriously they take “Another Note”. So let’s talk about the novel:

The theory doesn’t work without first!L (except if you want the most vague concept of “L” possible, maybe). And, uh, I don’t want to kill anyone’s mood but *whispers* he doesn’t exist. In HTR13 Ohba and Obata famously talk about the changes in L’s design, but ok, you don’t have to take HTR13 seriously either, if you really don’t want to. We can all just look at the actual story in the manga and wonder why L’s face, shoulders, neck, and hair suddenly look different even before he decided to show his face to the task force. Why not.

Anyway, let’s pretend for a moment that first!L does exist, despite everyting pointing towards the opposite direction; what does first!L do?

Well…… He’s barefoot, crouching on the floor, wearing jeans and a simple shirt… Oh wait! That’s mostly stuff B does, as Ryuzaki, too. Did B, by change, create a persona that closely resembles first!L?!

Or does B already know a thing or two about L? “Another Note” is weird and dumb and confusing and tells us that B has never met L (which doesn’t bother me that much, considering how shit B’s L impression is, haha), but let’s look at this quote:

“If L’s a genius then B’s an extreme genius. If L’s a freak, then B’s an extreme freak. Now it’s time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.”

B thinks L is a freak (”a genius and a freak” makes it clear that his freakishness is something seperate from his brilliance as a detective). Why? Because he knows that he’s weird. Somehow. Even if he didn’t met him. And this simultaneously tells us why B’s impersonation of L is so shite and totally over-the-top: B wants to be the extreme freak. B wants to surpass L’s level of brilliance and weirdness (don’t ask me why). L doesn’t soften B’s quirks, B amplifies L’s.

And I know people who believe in the Ryuzaki Persona theory tried to discredit this quote:

There was something about him that reminded her of Rue Ryuzaki—of Beyond Birthday. But the resemblance was backward, like this was the original, and the other had been a copy.

But, uh, I, for one, think it’s pretty straightforward. There’s nothing vague about it in my opinion, and I’m convinced it isn’t some secret brain twister. By now, we’re supposed to already know that Ryuzaki isn’t actually L. We’re at the end of the novel and Mello (who met L in person) tells us through Naomi what happened. It would be completely redundant to tell us that “B imitated L” even more obviously. (By the way, L has never seen B as Ryuzaki and Naomi doesn’t even describe him to L - she only tells L vaguely that he’s “weird”, which seems to upset L.)

Thankfully, we have another quote like the one above (this time directly from Mello):

I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain—he was challenging the man he copied, the century’s greatest detective, L.

“Copying” implies more than just challenging someone in a detective war. “Copying” doesn’t mean that B wants to become L - he doesn’t - and it doesn’t mean that he’s “copying” his investigative methods, because, again, he actually doesn’t.

But okay, cool, let’s pretend B copied L and then L copied some of the quirks B added (?). Which ones? His love for sweets? His bad posture?

A burden so great it would leave you hunched over. A bitter taste in your mouth that would leave you longing for sweets.

That’s how Mello describes L.

The dark circles under his eyes?

There were lines under his (L’s) eyes so dark she wondered if they were actually done with makeup. Like he hadn’t slept in days—or like he had never slept in his life. Like his sense of justice would not allow him time to sleep, since he had so many difficult cases to think about, battling unfathomable pressure on a daily basis.

Again, Mello - via Naomi - disagrees. Mello has some weird theories indeed, but since the novel paints L as waaay more sympathetic than the manga does anyway, I’m pretty sure we’re meant to believe him here. (Not to mention that the manga tells us very clearly that L has some weird sleeping habits.)

By the way, I’ve seen this line -:

There were lines under his eyes so dark she wondered if they were actually done with makeup.

- quoted out of context, which is pretty dishonest. The novel goes on to explain us why L looks like that and even very clearly contrasts it to B:

Still grinning to himself, he (B) faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup.

He probably sleeps pretty sound at night. Another interesting B & L contrast:

Apparently he (B) was capable of consuming non-sweet things too.

Yes, unlike L. B is willing to break his act then and now, L is canonically very uncompromising .

And B also picked the name “Rue Ryuzaki” specifically to fit his entire L masquerade:

B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki– L.L. For anyone from Wammy’s House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter—andBeyond Birthday seized this case as his chance.

Everything about “Ryuzaki” is about L.

You know, I’ve talked about this before, but beside the fact that L’s quirks are added gradually - and not with a BANG! for the task force or whatever - L’s crouch, L’s posture, L eating and drinking lots of sugary stuff, L biting his fingers, L having dark circles under this eyes - all of that is heavily connected to L’s emotions, thoughts, and general personality in the manga. Stress, feeling depressed, fear, even joy; all of that makes L intensify his crouch, makes him bite his nails, makes him show some weird facial expressions, or eat some more cake. Not the other way around, like, y’know, you would expect from someone who puts on an act.

All the nice little details about L’s character tell us so much about him. Obha and Obata beautifully use them to give us some hints about his psyche, and taking that away from L makes him incredibly hollow. While B’s “Ryuzaki” act is alllll about his L obsession. If you take that away from B, he becomes hollow as well.

Yes, L utilises his quirks to confuse people and he’s a liar, but that’s got nothing to do with B.

Conclusion: B is obsessed with L. L doesn’t seem to care all that much about B. He contributes very little to the case (it would be fair to say that Naomi solves the case), the manga implies that he doesn’t even really remember it, first!L is not real, and I’m tired.