#very unpleasant experience
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enough to drive a man insane if I'm being honest with you guys
#i dont know you guys idk#idk if i can be one of those cool tumblr girlies who wathces old gory horror slashers or whatever theyre called idk#this was me dipping my toe in#very unpleasant experience#i dont wanna be a little poo poo head baby or anything but i think im more squeamish than i thought#i thought i was pretty good with gore and maybe i used to be like as a teen#but weirdly i think im getting worse with it as time goes on#im glad i watched gonna have to sit on it for a couple days though#ruminate...on the experience...#think about if i could ever watch it again...#that being said hello#what the fuck#jeffrey combs wrapping a guy curled up on the floor in a blanket like UHMMMM. UH#jeffrey??#ive seen that man as exclusively as an alien freak and we joke about weyoun and brunt but uhhhh. well.#when its unironic i mean uhm#well look at him#re-animator#jeffrey combs#horror#blood#sir i protest i am not a merry man
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Surely you might be thinking, oh they're being dramatic as usual, but nope I'm not being dramatic. Lsst winter a couple times when I was too focused playing games after a while I realized I couldn't feel my arm under the elbow 🙂
Knowing I really desperately extremely urgently need to make myself the warmest gloves possible because I literally couldn't do anything last winter for the cold without crying a bit vs wanting to spend every free second playing bg 😔
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Applying for jobs is REALLY fucking demoralizing. Every potential employer expects you to bend over backwards for them while juggling frogs, meanwhile they won't give you the time of day, or usually even the common courtesy of telling you they don't want you.
I feel very not-given-a-shit-about.
#it's either jobs i'm way overqualified for that would be deeply unpleasant. or jobs i don't quality for that would be boring.#would you like to Suffer via jobs not requiring a degree? or via jobs requiring your degree AND ALSO experience you don't have and can't ge#because no one will hire you in the first place?#to be clear: I HAVE DONE UNDERGRAD RESEARCH FOR THREE YEARS! very specialized high level work for an undergrad! to the point people#regularly think I'm a grad student!#and still no one will hire me for a job that has jack shit to do with my expertise!#aaaarrggggghhhhh!#hylian rambles#vent post#and i suspect if I went to grad school i'd just come back to a job market full of the same nonsense! my degree is not opening doors the way#i was told it's supposed to!#i have! two goddamn undergrad degrees!#or i will in two weeks anyway
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how many times do we gotta go over it man. thought crime isn't real. it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. don't let anyone make you feel guilty for having some reflex reaction to stimuli in a way that is out of your control. the question isn't what you think or how you feel, but what you do. do you act upon those thoughts? do you harm others bc of your feelings? that's where you draw the line. keep it in your brain. vent it out in some personal way like a journal or a password locked blog. it's okay i promise
#saw a post abt sex repulsion that i mostly agreed with#until op said being disgusted by like. other people having sex is wrong#and like. i agree that if this is your knee jerk reaction you might need to look into it#but sometimes. it really is just disgust of the idea. like it's none of my business but i still find it unpleasant to see or think about#and as someone who feels guilty constantly abt everything. this is actually smth i don't feel guilty over#bc it's just an emotion and like i can't really help it. but also. I'm not hurting anyone by cringing on the inside#i don't think guilting people for feeling a negative emotion is gonna make them unlearn it i think you're just gonna make them feel awful -#- over a very normal human experience (aka. emotions). all this would lead to is ppl hating themselves for smth they can't help#it's not that deep i just got very mad at that phrasing lol esp bc it was aimed at teenagers#a group that is way more vulnerable to this sort of shit in part due to already experiencing emotions more intensely#tldr: don't do that shit man. encourage positive behavior not thought policing
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what if drumbot brian was magnetic. what if every mech's mechanism was magnetic. WHAT IF.
#the mechanisms#drumbot brian#idc how unrealistic this idea is i just... it popped into my head during class today and its clinging on#JUST IMAGINE IT. IMAGINE AN OCTOKITTEN EATING A MAGNET AND THEN FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM AND BEING MAGNETED TO BRIAN'S FACE#like okay obviously it would be very unpleasant as a full-time thing so what if...#for instance there was some planet the mechs landed on that had a weird effect on metal and made everyone magnetic for a little while#just think of the chaos.#OR. SINCE RAPH RLLY LIKES MAGNETS SHE JUST DID AN EXPERIMENT WITH THEM AND ACCIDENTLY MADE THE CREW'S MECHANISMS MAGNETIC AS A SIDE EFFECT#its such a stupid idea idk why im even thinking about it#I CANT THOUGH IT'S JUST..... JUST IMAGINE#im going insane
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I took advil but I'm still so sore
Reminding myself to talk to my doc about pain management. She doesn't even want me taking advil but I had to take something, and it wasn't enough. Still in enough pain to impair me from basic activities.
I wonder if THC is a viable option. Last time I smoked my back felt great for like 3 days
#i don't like smoking though. very unpleasant experience to me#so i need like. edibles or something#do they just make a thc pill or something? make it easy please#and pot wouldn't be a viable option to use like every day or i won't be able to get much done#but for especially tough days... it would be nice to have something on hand#mod post#chronic pain#thc#marijuana#cannabis#pain management
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probably the most accurate way for AU hunter to react to finding out he's a grimwalker would be like
[longest sigh in the world] hOkay.
luz.
i get why you didn't tell me. i 100% understand that you were scared and didn't want to worry me or to make me feel differently about myself. i'm not mad at you about that that's Fine. but also.
luz.
my fuckign MEDICAL HISTORY,
#shoutout to every other chronically ill person who's only discovered a family history of physical illness#in the eleventh hour. bc ur parents very kindly very well-intentioned never told u SHIT.#mom dad why do i know [redacted unpleasant mental illness things] but nothing about all the [redacted physical illnesses]......#hunter knowing he's a grimwalker wouldnt have helped much at the healers anyway. nobody knows shit about it#'but at least they could have CHECKED to see if i was REJECTING MY TRANSPLANTED LUNGS..... LUZ'#'IM SORRY' 'yeah i blame belos more than you. but LUZ' 'I KNOW. IM SORRYYY'#theyre very funny. sorry hunter sorry luz. gonna give u guys niche autoimmune experiences until i die#autoimmune tag#toh#princess luz au#horrible mindscape trauma pals
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okay finally had a chance to sit down and watch ii’s drumeo interview (edit to add: this was the only thing getting me through the day, i genuinely just kept telling myself “finish this job and you can watch ii”- sad, i know lmao)
that was so cool? i’m fully obsessed with the way he moves when he drums, i go back to his earlier offerings videos of the tpwbyt instrumentals because he’s mesmerizing to watch. so fluid and graceful
i also very much enjoyed the way he spoke. i’m sure part of the cadence was making sure the voice filter didn’t mangle or lose any words, but the longer i watched the more it seemed like he spoke slowly because he was thinking every word through. ii strikes me as a very thoughtful, and (clearly) very well spoken person
i love finding musicians who inspire me to learn new things and god if i had the space/money/arm-leg coordination i would absolutely learn how to drum (unfortunately despite over a decade of dance i struggle to convince my arms and legs to move differently, they have to match or i short circuit😅)
#ramble on exie#sleep token#sleep token ii#i seriously love his drumming i had goosebumps through that whole video#it was very neat to me to hear about the gospel inspiration#i do not enjoy gospel music- it’s usually the vocals idk i find them really unpleasant. but i’d never really thought about the drums before#it’s highly unlikely because ves writes/tracks all other instruments-#but i’d love to see a similar sort of interview with iii and iv. even just a rig rundown#the technical side of music is fascinating to me- i have very limited experience with it so i love to learn where i can
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Fiber arts (crochet and knit, especially) tip I found helpful: It's great to be a yarn snob, but first, find what you actually like to work with. When you're beginning, you might be working with acrylic, and that's fine. There are plenty of great options for acrylic, and even that one material can be vastly different between brands (honestly, I think people don't recognize this enough! Acrylics are actually a diverse material!). However, you might like working with other materials more as you progress, and it's good to see what you'll like! I've been working with 100% cotton recently, and I really, really like it - much moreso than the acrylic I bought when I first crocheted, and I never knew that I would have liked it more.
It's okay to work with whatever you can, especially when it's your only option. When you get the chance, though, think about some things you like in a material. What textures do you like? What colour options do you prefer (bright/muted/natural)? What is realistic for you when it comes to caring for your projects once they're done? These are all important, and they're things that are specific for you. There is no such thing as a "bad material," only materials you like and want to use. It can be intimidating to feel like you're not at this pristine place of yarn-snobbery, but truthfully: it doesn't matter as long as you make things that you like, and being able to explore what you like can be really helpful.
#art#fiber art#knit#crochet#i think this could apply to other forms of fober crafts but i'm not well-versed enough to make such a sweeping generalization <3#i know sometimes people use 'yarn snob' to say that they are very specific in what they like and that it's not indicating...#...that they think they're somehow 'above' a person with less expertise or experience...#...i just think sometimes beginners can be (understandably) intimidated by all of it...#...and you can start really over-thinking your decisions and if you're Doing Art Right rather than just Doing Art#it's the Doing Art *Right* that will often set you back#it's OKAY to use whatever is both available to you and is of a quality you like#like i don't MIND acrylic - the one i'm using for the fazbeanie is an acrylic...#...in fact the fazbeanie yarn (Big Twist 100% acrylic in chocolate brown) made me learn that acrylic can have really nice softness...#...and it's a very smooth acrylic too. this other skein i got for practice was. very unpleasant for an acrylic#ANYWAY. rant over. for now.
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i think i should honestly be holding someones hand at all times
#annie.txt#physical touch is so grounding#unfortunately my hands are freezing so it's a very unpleasant experience 4 other people
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What's the worst reason you had to reset?
"..."
"I HATE HOTLAND."
#undertale: scattered extension#UTSE#papyrus / scraps (UTSE)#papyrus#ic ask#ask#anonymous#okay so context:#dying is. probably the most likely way *anyone* would find out they have reset powers#it's also canonically how flowey first found out about his reset powers. so i'm gonna go with the same for paps!#however. flowey's first death was a suicide attempt#papyrus. would not do that. At All. i cannot see it#so instead. i'm thinking. his first death happened much quicker than flowey's did#papyrus was revived inside chara's lab in hotland. and well. with hotland's powerful air vents everywhere#and papyrus being a) not super used to floating around yet; and b) not used to being as light as fabric#and the lake of magma below the walkways all throughout hotland#that all sets up the unfortunate possibility of the highly unpleasant experience of getting blown off course#and sent tumbling down into magma </3#and thus. a very very horrible reason to have to reset </3#and a very very valid reason to hate hotland even more than he already did#though i'm not *100%* set on it happening? or i guess it's just more *when* it happens that i'm indecisive on#but regardless! that's what this is referencing
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A bee got up inside my veil today and I managed to remove her without getting stung but holy shit that was the most tense two minutes of my entire life
#i've had bees in my veil before and it's always a very tense and unpleasant experience#but i haven't been stung since the last one landed me in the er and i was NOT looking forward to finding out if that was a one-off or not#also i really need a new veil i don't know how they keep getting in there#beekeeping
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Tfw you look up images of pregnant women for a drawing but end up just weirded out and gives up the idea altogether
#they're mostly pretty pictures making the women look so beautiful and pure and all#(though i did stumble upon a few making the pregnant gal pose sexily for some reason)#so very far from reality wich can be so unpleasant and actually horrifying#but. man. pregnancy is weird and gross i'm sorry#even if everything goes well i just. i can't.#thought i could handle a few pictures for a drawing but no. definitely not. i really don't like it lmao#the concept of people actually wanting to become pregnant is so alien to me i don't get it#yeah yeah it's necessary for the survival of our specie and all i get the technical part of it#i'm not dumb#i'm just grossed out#anyway good on y'all who wants to have biological children#and experience pregnancy#(and sorry for those who really want it but literally can't)#but i will never understand you lmao
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u ever just despise the way a certain artist/artists draw ur f/o. like. can u just stop and never draw them again it makes me so upset thank you
#saw an unpleasant art of dalv!#the reason i am very . VERY wary of dalv fans#is bc i have almost only negative experiences with them LMAO#one literally breaching my boundaries#others s3xualizing him#or popularizing him as a character to thirst over.#i honestly am so so upset by this#ugh#ray rants
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fantasy au sai would be the greatest monster hunter ever
#with very vague rules on what he kills and what he lets go after capturing#mostly he hunts for the challenge of it but he'd also occasionally help locals with their monster troubles. on his travels#also rover would be his mount & companion :)) monster turned friend!!!!!#i have no other thoughts abt this actually. he's as simple as that#actually one time he had to kill a witch. unpleasant experience#he's very cool#hunts you for sport hunts you for sport hunts you for sport hunts you for sport hunts you for sport hu#𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.
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