#very somewhat proud of this one
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THE END IS NEAR!
for the xbox 360 marketplace, of course. i decided to rush this one so that i could post it before the end of our inner children (wow so dramatic). at first it was just a simple kit fisto fanart, like the one i posted of maul, but then i thought about how the xbox 360's marketplace will end tomorrow. so i decided to turn it into a frutiger metro background with two kit fistos merging together. hope y'all like it.
#star wars#kit fisto#frutiger metro#digital art#paint tool sai#fanart#digital illustration#btw kit fisto is such a gay icon#very somewhat proud of this one#i forgot i wrote the gay icon tag lol what am i doing with my life#am i cringe
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Ticklish
#My art#jizzie#lizzie ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady fanart#lizzie ldshadowlady fanart#Joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans fanart#fun fact when I started this sketch it wasn’t intended to be Jizzie. Then it turned into them as I drew. They infest my brain#Anyways. Love them#I’ve got a couple alt versions of this if anyone wants to see them. They’re just a couple different backgrounds and some little hearts but-#-they’re cute. Maybe I’ll attach them in a rb#Anyways I’m SUUUUPER proud of their face shapes here- especially Joel’s- I feel like I got them to look really good and somewhat feel like-#-their real face shapes while still being simple. Which I feel is impressive for such a STUPID angle GODS t was a pain. Turned out great-#-but UGH pissed me off once or twice there#Might also post some sketch layers too. Mainly because Joel’s happy trail was lost in the final version and I’m mourning it#Idk though. We’ll see how I feel in the morning 👍#Also happy new years I guess#I fucking HATED drawing Joel’s foot btw toes fucking SUCK TO DRAW they’re a fuckin pain. Stupid shaped appendage fr#I AM however very happy with their clothes. The skirt shape. The belt loops and seam on the pants. OUGH i like drawing clothes#Hermitcraft#hermitcraft art#hermitcraft fanart#life series#empires smp#uhhhh those last ones are just for reach I guess it’s not server specific#life series fanart#trafficblr
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bite marks || oc concept art
#sharks are your friends! except if they're rich#one of the very few pieces from the last 6 months im somewhat proud of. will be correcting a bunch of shit later tho#until then: feast#oc tag#digital art#digital drawing#concept art#original character#worldbuilding#character design#artists on tumblr
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THE WORLD, FULL OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES
aurelia aquareine (she/her), sage of alchemy — cheerful // creative // perfectionist
general: face skinblend // facekit 1 // facekit 2 // face highlights (highlight N1) // face undertones // hairline // brows // eye preset // lashes // eye base // eye sparkle // eyeshadow (eyeshadows N9 glitter only) // eyeliner // blush—... hey, where did it go? // mouth corners // teeth // body preset // skinblend (skin N13 overlay) // skin tints // nails // wrist tattoo everyday: hair (my wedding stories) // hat (helia hat V3) // earrings // choker // dress // boots formal: hair (my wedding stories) // earrings // necklace // lipstick // dress (high school years) // arm bracelet (realm of magic) // shoes (base game) athletic: hair (fashima fro) & headwrap overlay // earrings (base game) // top (throwback fit) // shorts (daisy shorts V1) // socks (artemis socks) // shoes (incheon arrivals) sleep: bonnet (V2) // robes (vintage glamour) // shoes (spa day) party: hair (lisa low fro) // earrings (ashley earrings) // necklace (poolside splash) // lipstick // dress (naomi dress) // bracelets // shoes swimwear: hair (pam puff V1) // top (island living) // bottom (base game) // bracelet (base game) // feet hot weather: hair (penny puff V3) // earrings (base game) // top (eco lifestyle) // shorts (realm of magic) // bracelet (base game) // shoes (incheon arrivals) cold weather: hair (lisa low fro) // hat (seasons) // earrings // coat // gloves (get to work) // shoes (get together) extras: poses 1 & potion // poses 2 // poses 3 // realm of magic icons rip
thank you! — @atomiclight, @pyxiidis, @okruee, @ddarkstonee, @serawis, @sayasims, @meghewlett, @obscurus-sims, @miikocc, @pralinesims, @xiamdeathx, @goppolsme, @squea, @magic-bot, @crilender, @ms-marysims, @clumsyalienn, @raccoonium, @philosimy, @mysteriousdane, @crypticsim, @sheabuttyr, @aharris00britney, @ayoshi, @mapleseed, @qwertysims, @arethabee, @sentate, @lady-moriel, @makesims, @dearie-sim, @hula-zombie
#terribly sorry about her hair blending into the background in the lookbook pics by the way. i've never taken screenshots in live mode before#anyway. got bored so i tried my hand at an alchemy sage#i actually tried keeping her at roughly the same level of extravagance as the other three sages' official designs so she could#somewhat reasonably stand next to them. otherwise i would've made her far more elaborate what with being a sage and all#that being said i am very proud of how she turned out in the end though#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 simblr#simblr#ts4 spellcaster#spellcaster#ts4 sage#realm of magic sage#ts4 lookbook#lookbook#sim: aurelia aquareine#snag's sim tag#...as a bonus treat for reading the tags this far i'll let you in on a secret#aurelia's first name means 'the golden one' referencing gold's alchemical significance and perfection#whereas her last name aquareine is the name of a character from the wizard of oz novels (like how L. faba's name is a reference to elphaba)#AND is a reference to the name of the aqua regia chemical solution as well
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Godless Prophet
#wtnv#welcome to night vale#wtdb#welcome to desert bluffs#kevin wtnv#kevin wtdb#kevin desert bluffs#gart#haha so fun fact about this one#i haven't seen the sun in like. two weeks. so i thought#''what do you think would happen if kevin went that long w/o the sun i think he'd die''#so thus. uhm. i got thinking. and then i drew#i miss the sun where the fuck is she#oh also this like. idk man. somewhat based off frown night#this being. kevin feels abandoned by the smiling god#anyways. VERY PROUD OF HOW THIS TURNED OUT AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! YAY!!!#LAST BIG PIECE IF THE YEAR!
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Credits to @ayceeofspades, she was the director behind this, I was just the editor.(There's a full version of this, which I shall not be posting on main out of self preservation, but dm if you want to see it bcs I think the full version is truly a masterpiece :] )
#somewhat proud of this....#i wanted to match up the beats in the music to the hits and i think i did okay????#(cut content is lando's crash btw. it fits really well but we haven't gotten updates about it so i dont want to be insensitive)#(the full version is both c and my brother approved but we've decided that i dont want tk get the smoke for posting that JDKFLGL)#(but yeah. thats a much more completed and good version but uh might cause issues so i shant)#anwyays these ones tho were preyty funny and delicate 😭#c asked me to edit nando's spin to danube and then i just kept going#and it got funnier and funnier 😭 so thank you so much to c for inciting this bcs I really do love it#but jfc i spent literally the entire race working on the full thing! what a time suck wow#this is like that jense blink vid i made. very fun and silly to edit#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#2023 las vegas gp#2023 las vegas grand prix#we do a little bit of f1
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Every therapist I've ever had: You need to be less hard on yourself! Learn to take pride in your accomplishments!
Me: What accomplishments?*
Them: Literally anything that was hard for you! Was it hard to get out of bed this morning? That's an accomplishment. Did you have a shower today? Did you brush your teeth before bed? Those are accomplishments!
Me: Sounds fake but okay.
#notes from the word page#anxious spirals#*I literally have two degrees#I have things to be proud of#but it's just so hard to not focus on how I could have done better#getting my first degree didn't feel like an accomplishment because I was barely scraping good enough grades to graduate#getting my second degree somewhat felt like an accomplishment#but more in that I put a lot of work into my practicums#the degree itself and the coursework didn't always feel like things I should be proud of#sometimes they did#but then I went into the job market sending out a ton of applications and getting no responses#one of the best pieces of positive feedback I got from my last principal was that I gave very good feedback to my students#but that didn't really feel like an accomplishment#because when I started he said the teacher I was replacing did well with the school's feedback model#so I just based what I was doing on what she had done#it did feel like acknowledgement of what had often felt like pointlessly hard work#and maybe I need to tease out the fact that acknowledgement and accomplishment have such different definitions in my mind#but anyways#to get back to the celebrating tiny wins thing#I just find it so hard to celebrate something that other people do easily!#(this may be where I have to come to terms that yes adhd is a disability and yes that means things are harder than they are for other peopl#oops)
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pov: ur me trying to get shit done but the 100k+ word angst hurt/ no comfort major character death oneshot is directing itself in the back of ur mind and stop please god no more i cant handle the feels oh
and back to work it is!
#on the bright side#my notes now have colourful blobs#hilal and hades dad and daughter hurt absolutely devastating me was not on my bingo card but here we are#when will i be freed from my merciless shackles dear god?#oc shit#oc problems#hilal#hades#yall hades lord of the underworld whos only known pain and death from infancy cracks at the end and cries. they crode#this has made me reflect so much on the relationship i have with my parents and family as a whole#im currently the embodiment of that one meme of imagining funerals at 3am#im aching all over#grief just doesnt get any easier#thats one thing ive learnt#good news my lacrimal glands are still functional#which oddly enough im somewhat proud of (albeit warily)#cant remember the last time i cried#very cathartic#its all downhill from here folks#its too early for this#lol
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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omg I love kaeya SO MUCH MY LITTLE PRECIOUS BOYYYYYYYY
#idk when I first saw him I was like “meh he's just a fuckboy and he's creepy 🙄”#but now#after I learned all his lore and shipped him w all teyvat and came up w a GIANT idea for the kaebedo fanfic#I just love him so much#and the fact that he's torn between two worlds and he loves deeply both of them but there's only one that he'll stay in#I just wanna put him in my pocket#so he'll be safe from all this shit he has to go through#he's just my babyboy my little guy my mewmew#I'm even not ashamed to post it here#I'm proud of being a kaeya fan#you see I'm not normal about him#it's just... his very concept is so beautiful and tragic#and he's so beautiful himself#w his dangerous grace and sharp smiles and caustic but somewhat poignant humor#I just. I love him so much.#just imagine him in a kaenrian garment. him as a prince.#I'm not normal I'M NOT NORMAL LDKDSOWKKAJSJDKS#i'm not sorry
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a fuzzy daydream filled her head.
she closed her eyes and went to bed.
a sunny sleepwalk a minute away,
like a summer morning with the darkness at bay.
“i will not cry, i will not plead. will this be everything i need?”
a summer’s end, an evening song.
she hopes her friend will play along.
#sayori kin#poetry#very proud of this one considering i wrote it while somewhat regressed#like mentally i was around 13 or 14#idk why that was in past tense im still like 14 in my head
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ID Four drawing of Violet, a dark skinned drow-elf woman with a thin athletic body, light tattoos, and a light braid that reaches her shins.
The first drawing shows her in a leather crop top and high waisted leather bottoms, a knife strapped to her thigh with a leather holster. Her hand lays on her hip while face and lower legs are not shown, and a symbol of a crown is drawn above her.
In the second drawing she is nude except for thick soled knee high leather boots and a strap on with a leather harness. She is tugging on the main holster strap with a calm look on her face, three sparkles are drawn near her face.
In the third drawing she is nude except for a ball gag and what binds her arms. leather straps with buckles bind her biceps and join across her shoulder blades, connected down by another strap to a long leather cuff that holds both her arms behind her back, forearms overlapping. She is shown from behind while kneeling with a concentrating face, a droplet symbol is drawn next to her head.
In the fourth and final drawing Violet wears nothing underneath a chest harness, along with a collar and a belt binding her thighs. The chest harness is strapped around her small breasts in a diamond shape, extending upwards around her neck and down towards her hips and crotch. Her arms are unseen and bound behind her, her legs are bound together above the knee with a belt. Attached to her thick leather collar is a leash that goes up and out of canvas, she has a dreamy drooling expression on her face as 3 hear symbols surround her head. end ID.
Might as well post this here for the archive, thinking about that leather working proficiency.
#violet#misc#art#original#original post#image description#im pretty proud of these#i think i got some good expression work done on the last one#and working out how to open a jaw for the third was an adventure#her design and anatomy somewhat fluctuates but im very proud of the arm on the first one and the back on the third#plus the pose on the second one has some swagger to it i like#im probably the most proud of the last one. i struggled a lot but the expression is just right and that collar chest harness combo gets me.#the knife holster is the only thing shown here that violet has in canon... yet.#this just spawned with me wanting t odraw violet with the strap; then all this happened#also idk if the boots on the second one look awkward but having a full body drawing with just the strap felt like wasted space.+big stompy
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Finally getting round to reading the Scarlet Pimpernel (free eBooks my beloved) and while I am really enjoying the story and everything is pretty easy to follow, the sheer royalist tones the book has is a lot
#i mean i knew that would be in here#given that pimpernel is a noble who rescued “innocent royals/rich people” from the guillotine during the reign of terror#and the book is set in england AND france#but its still a lot lol#its honestly nice so far#im managing two chapters a day which im really really proud of considering i cant remember the last time i read a book#well ok last one i read was beowulf but that wasn't too long (version i read anyway)#this book has like 29ish chapters? idr#its also worth noting the author herself was a baroness#and that her backstory involved her fleeing to england when she was 3 because the locals rebelled against her family and burnt down#the family home#which while im sure it was justified must have been terrifying for her#i cant lie either its interesting reading from this and seeing her perspective on things as much as i despise royalty i am very interested#in the whole system if that makes sense? its just fascinating to me#i think im gonna blame tlk for this one LMAO#but yeah good so far#also yeah im sure you guys know why im reading the book LMAO#if not well im sure you could probably guess 💀#to be fair the reign of terror was a pretty fucked up time so like i can see the need for pimpernel... somewhat#also fun fact for anyone interested but this book is actually what started the whole hero with a secret identity#and pimpernel is said to have inspired the likes of zorro and batman!#idk i just thought that was pretty cool
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I cant really recall anything too interesting. The reason I began to write in a journal was because I wanted to feel like I was taking notes on my enviroment and being all analytical like Marcy Wu from Amphibia. That quickly got boring so it evolved into a regular journal after a few months.
@call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @chipjam and anyone who wants to join! The doors for entering this chain are so open and numerous they threaten the structural integrity of the roof by outnumbering the actual walls 3:1. Similarly, no pressure if someone I tagged doesnt want to participate!
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
#Thanks for tagging!#And I have to agree real-camera your lore is really good and incredibly interesting#I´m gonna shamelessly copy the idea and put my own worldbuilding stuff here if anyone wants to look#I have this universe that is completely external from ours (LoTR style) that has magic. 4 different kinds. They have silly names and each#deal with matter. the mind. living creatures. and energy respectively#So a bunch of geniuses had the great idea to make very powerful robots with a hard-coded passion for learning one type of magic each#(so 4 robots total)#Each robot did it's thing (they have a siblingly relationship btw) and a few decades after they had significantly revolutionized stuff#So now with a quadruple god complex they got a little cocky and decided to make a spell to warp reality itself#An idea known for never going wrong ever#So it goes wrong (gasp) and reality retaliates by damaging the very thing that was damaging it. All 4 kinds of magic.#It almost fully wipes out all magic in the universe#killing almost every single living creature except for some very specifically adapted lifeforms that had evolved in enviroments without#any magic in them (Evolution used magic about as readily as we use nutrients inside our bodies so it's elimination quickly gave everyone a#full body failure). The robots all did their best to survive and 3/4 managed to remain alive but SIGNIFICANTLY weakened and helpless.#2/4 of them had to wait thousands of years until inteligent life-forms evolved again while the other one instead got to wander the life-les#wasteland he helped create :))))))) so good for the psyche#There is quite a bit more (like the somewhat developed magic system I am proud of) but it's much less concise and lengthier to explain#I *will* explain in detail at the slightest provocation though#so if anyone wants to engage in a battle where we throw our worldbuilding/story stuff at eachother my dms are quite open
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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