#very much castiel coded

[grayewalss]

Sorry, but

"quick quick, tell me something awful

like you are a poet trapped inside the body

of a finance guy"

is very much Castiel and Dean coded imo

[cthulhum]

does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

[aleriya-darling]

today, this amazing post came across my Twitter tl

Castiel loves all creatures, he would absolutely do this 😆

I also stand behind what I responded with:

[scoobydoodean]

seriously why is gadreel so likeable. like somehow gadreel's actor nailed the likeable vibe castiel has and that's Crazy. (im not saying i think everything he did was justified im just saying hes like. i appreciate him for having a consistent moral code that he tries to live by even if he gets manipulated)

When he first shows up, he behaves like (the romanticized version of) a medieval knight. Like. Listen to his dialogue when he first appears to rescue Dean from an angel beating the shit out of him.

GADREEL/EZEKIEL: Easy there, brother. This young man has prayed for our assistance. Are we creatures of wrath or compassion? I would argue the latter.

He has a very (charmingly) "old fashioned" take on angelic duty. He believes it's their job to help humans. His ultimate sacrifice reinforces that that isn't something he made up to manipulate Dean—he really truly believes what he's saying and he wants to be a good and righteous angel! His attitude is almost like season 4 Cas (who is so convinced that he's on a holy mission) but actually less cynical—more chivalrous.

He's already been injured by the fall, but when he hears Dean's prayer, he makes his way to him for no other reason than Dean prayed for the help of an angel!

He tries to deescalate the situation:

ANGEL: Forgive me, brother. I don't recognize you. GADREEL/EZEKIEL: Happy to make your re-acquaintance. After you disarm. [The angel pretends to be willing to talk but then attacks Gadreel] GADREEL/EZEKIEL: Come, now. Is that any way to treat a brother injured in the fall?

He indicates that (while we know he was in prison so he couldn't actually take action) he rooted for Cas's side.

GADREEL/EZEKIEL: Believe it or not, some of us still do believe in our mission. And that means we believe in Castiel...and you.

And of course—Cas's little mistake freed him from prison, so that's another reason he's not pissed at Cas like the rest of the angels. That said, I don't think Gadreel is being dishonest about being on Cas's side. I just think when the time comes, he's still too scared that Cas will reject him to risk an encounter (and that fear doesn't turn out to be unfounded to be fair).

He also chooses the alias of an angel Cas ends up vouching for with a smile, calling him a "good soldier". While I think Metatron is right to say in 9.09 that Gadreel chose to take Ezekiel's name because he had a good reputation (something Gadreel sorely lacks) I think his choice also suggests Gadreel and Cas have similar values, because they hold the same angel in high regard—and the angels in general liking some angel doesn't necessarily mean Cas thinks that highly of that angel, considering how much Cas has morally clashed with the rest of his brethren.

I've also talked before about Gadreel's vessel choice being very interesting. Almost all the other angels (the only exception I can think of being Samandriel) choose vessels that work corporate jobs. Their attire (among other things) aligns them with the upper class. Gadreel, on the other hand, asks a bartender to be his vessel. I think it's interesting that the two angels Dean seems to trust most immediately end up being Gadreel and Samandriel... and they ARE both angels who share Cas's stance on humanity more generally. At the same time, they're also not human, and just as we see with Cas sometimes, we see with Gadreel in season 9 that fealty to certain ideals leads angels (with the soldier's mindset) to be ruthless when they believe they are required to be to be righteous. And reputation matters a lot to them (see: season 6 Cas hiding what he's doing from absolutely everyone he knows, keeping Crowley as his dirty little secret).

Gadreel's problem is that his sense of chivalry is dampened by the terror he feels at the idea of being found out and thrown back into a cell for eternity. He wants to repair his reputation, and Metatron convinces him that restoring order in heaven will please God and re-legitimize him. Cas's season 4 mistakes were centered around the belief that he was serving God, which is what Metatron sells Gadreel on, and like Cas in season 4 (and again in season 12), Gadreel is also lured by the concept of paradise.

METATRON: You and I ... We could have paradise again, Gadreel.

Even when Metatron demands a test of his loyalty (while dangling the opportunity to become heaven's hero over his head like a tasty carrot) Gadreel refuses before even knowing who Metatron wants him to hurt:

METATRON: No, I mean REALLY sure. We have enemies who pose an imminent threat to our effort. They must be neutralized. GADREEL-IN-SAM: Slain? METATRON: In a word. GADREEL-IN-SAM: That... That is not who I am.

Gadreel proceeds to do several things he shouldn't do, but Metatron also lies to him at various points about the true nature of what he's doing because Metatron knows he can only push Gadreel so far before Gadreel morally objects. When Gadreel realizes that Metatron orchestrated the deaths of several angels he brainwashed and that he's going to hurt humanity, he accepts Metatron's true nature—that he isn't God's representative and nothing he's doing is righteous—and defects. After being wounded by MoC Dean, Gadreel tries to stop Cas from wasting grace healing him:

GADREEL: Please. I'll leave you alone, I swear. CASTIEL [reaching out to heal him]: We're not here to hurt you. GADREEL: No. Your Grace. Healing me will only weaken you. [CASTIEL doesn't even hesitant and instantly heals GADREEL]

Then in a last heroic act, Gadreel sacrifices himself to save humanity and the angels.

GADREEL: The only thing that matters in the end is the mission -- protecting those who would not and cannot protect themselves --the humans. None of us is bigger than that. And we will not let our fears, our self-absorption prevent us from seeing it through. Not anymore.

I MEAN?!?!?! It's just... so endearingly saturday-morning-superhero-cartoon style heroic. Knights of the round table heroic. It's endearing!

Even as he's dying to blow a hole in the cell to free Cas, he tells Hannah (who is keeping guard) in a superhero voice,

GADREEL: Run, sister.

[dotthings]

mid-late S10 Destiel things:

Robbie Thompson in S9 introducing Cain's story and Colette followed by Robert Berens in S10 "you're living my life in reverse" is chef's kiss baton pass for the destiel long game. CINEMA!!!! Pay attention this was not accidental!!!

Dean entrusting the blade to Cas instead of handing it back to Crowley is so weighted. Crowley was the fling. His wild summer. Cas is someone he has feelings for that he trusts, in it for the long haul.

The Executioner's Song deleted scene. With Cas and Crowley taunting each other about how in love with Dean they are. "All in a desperate effort to save your boyfriend." "Maybe he's your boyfriend."

Dean's confession, which yes that is also about Dean himself and him thinking beyond just hunting and being a killer and what else he wants and bi Dean coding not just about Cas but it is also about Castiel. Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. The priest says "Go a little deeper, perhaps", and Dean answers "Yeah. Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought." Dean is looking for a deeper (romantic) connection, he's bi coded, Cas is queer coded, and Cas is right there and S10 has some things going on with them. So without it taking away from Dean's individual arc and themes whatsoever. It's about Cas.

Cas getting to punch Metatron who killed Dean was very satisfying, and how interesting Metatron is still so fixated on Cas. Wants to connect with Cas. Back in S9, he dressed up in a trenchcoat, wanting to emulate him. Envies Cas. Metatron who in S9 called Cas out on how he drapes himself in the flag of Heaven but it's really all about saving Dean, asks Cas in S10, "what are you...what is your mission now" and we know the answer, and so does Metatron, we know he knows because he already said it in S9 and now he's just...taunting Cas with it. Anyway, ongoing theme of angelic resentment, and perhaps in this case even some envy, of the connection Dean and Cas have.

Dean being so happy to see Cas return to the bunker and his grace has been restored and Dean calls it a win. While Cas is practically blushing and doesn't seem to know where or how to stand or what to do with himself he's so pleased. Ugh they're so adorable!!!! And ridiculous!!!!!

Dean's subconscious--manifested as the Benny hallucination--saying it would "ruin" Cas, as well as Sam, to have to kill Dean. So some part of Dean's brain realizes how much Cas loves him (They are both close to Dean, Sam is Dean's sibling, Cas is Dean's best friend and...whatever else he is. The relationships aren't the same, they're both close).

Dean and Cas "take your daughter to work day" with Claire, Dean trying to comfort Claire by explaining that because of her father's sacrifice, Cas was able to save the world. Dean calls Jimmy Novak a "hero" but gives Cas credit for saving the world. Dean reassuring Cas "it's good. It's a good thing" that he wants to continue his atonement with the Novak family but reassuring Cas that he's not a dick (while Cas is so much harder on himself than Dean ever is). Dean and Cas bickering, Cas acting like a worried spouse about Dean, and persuading Dean to stay behind with Claire, with orders "no fighting. Both of you." Sound more married why don't you!!!!! Claire telling Dean to look after Cas...like...this girl noticed some things. That they're close. & sensed Dean cares about Cas too.

Dean being terrified that Cas will be the next one chewed up and spit out by the quest to get the mark off his arm.

Cas calling the bunker "home" for the first time

The Dean and Cas fight scene. "everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world"

Given that Rowena couldn't harm Dean and how powerful the mark it, it seems unlikely Cas can actually kill MoC Dean. And instead of turning away, Cas indicates he'll be watching over Dean for all eternity, both of them immortal, and Cas having to witness Dean become that, and Cas unable to abandon Dean.

"Dean, stop" ("She loved me unconditionally. She forgave me. She only asked for one thing." "To stop.")

Cas's hand wrapped around Dean's wrist and the way Dean's hand shakes on the blade. He can't kill Cas even if he's strong enough to.

Rudy the random hunter thrown in there, just so it doesn't get too obvious that it's Cas's beaten up face that's haunting Dean the most. Dean seeing Cas's face in the mirror.

And the deleted scene from Brother's Keeper where Dean dreams about Cas. "You have an admirer."

One might ask also why invent out of the blue a backstory for Rowena involving the child she cared for more than her own son, when the grace of an angel in love with a human would have made a lot more sense to use for the mark removal spell.

[destielnoirbang]

Code of Silence

By FriendofCarlotta | @friendofcarlotta Art by Rezal | @rezal-art

Coming to Ao3 on 12/13/2024

Rated E | 57,000 words | Graphic Descriptions of Violence

Hollywood, 1955: LAPD Officer Dean Winchester doesn’t mind throwing a punch or fudging the evidence if it means getting wife beaters and cold-blooded criminals behind bars. That approach doesn’t sit too well with his younger brother and colleague Sam, who’s been making enemies at the LAPD with his straight-laced, by-the-book philosophy. Between trying to keep up with the job and looking out for his brother, Dean doesn’t have much time for happiness. Not until he meets Castiel, a handsome escort who is everything Dean never knew he wanted. Unfortunately, Castiel is also caught up in a criminal conspiracy that reaches far into the LAPD itself. To expose the department’s corruption and save Castiel, Dean and Sam will have to put aside their differences — and reckon with a dark secret in their family’s past.

[Keep reading for a sneak preview!]

When he drew level, he chanced a glance over at the other man, who turned when he sensed that he’d become a subject of scrutiny.

Dean’s breath stopped in his throat. The man’s jaw was sharp as a word spoken in anger, his skin pale and clean-shaven. Long, graceful fingers played idly with one of the free Funtime Liquors matchbooks as he waited. His eyes promised mischief and mysteries. Dean wouldn’t have been surprised to learn the man had just stepped out of a movie screen.

Too late, he realized he was staring, and then only because the man’s plump lips had twitched slightly on one side.

Dean cleared his throat. “Merry Christmas,” he said.

“Merry Christmas to you too, officer,” the man returned.

Dean flinched, feeling caught out. Whoever the man was, he was clearly smart if plainclothes didn’t fool him. “That obvious?” he asked.

When Dean chanced another glance at the man, he was still looking back, humor glinting in his eyes. “It’s practically stamped on your forehead.”

Maybe Dean ought to have taken that for the dismissal it likely was, but the bit of humor in the man’s gaze felt almost akin to a smile. Most men wouldn’t smile at someone they wanted gone.

“Haven’t I seen you in a movie?” Dean tried.

The man dropped his head with a low, rough chuckle. Dean fought down a surge of embarrassment. A handsome man in a well-cut suit, five blocks from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, where all the most glamorous Hollywood premieres took place? It wasn’t too outrageous a guess.

Dean was about to tell the man “never mind” when he caught Dean’s eyes again and said, “It’s unlikely. Unless you happened to pay very close attention to Youth Number 3 in the opening scene of It Came From Saturn's Rings.”

“You were in that?” Dean asked eagerly. This time, there was no fighting the heat on his face. He had a great weakness for science fiction movies, and he remembered seeing a screening of It Came From Saturn's Rings on opening night some three years back. Even working in Hollywood for as long as he had, he’d never stopped being a little starry-eyed about anybody who’d graced the silver screen.

His question got him an interesting reaction: the man’s head tipped to the side, his eyes narrowing, the better to study Dean. For the first time, he seemed to put some actual stock in their conversation. “You’ve seen it?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirmed, embarrassingly pleased to have found this patch of common ground between them. “It was good.”

It hadn’t been anything special, in truth, but the man was smiling in earnest now, one side of those plush lips curving up, and Dean thought he’d do just about anything to keep that smile going.

[the-mpreg-guy]

Was lying awake last night thinking about the way that Samgirls "see Sam as a woman", which is something I find so bewildering, and I think I finally came to a conclusion that makes sense to me: (some) Samgirls ascribe such an undue and non-canonical level of helplessness, victimhood, and lack of autonomy to Sam that it makes them see him as a woman due to (internalized) misogyny.

I can't rationalize it any other way. Plenty of Deangirls and Casgirls woobify their fav to extreme extents, but there is nowhere near the absurd degree of feminization that I see in the Samgirl fandom. I literally never see anyone call Dean/Cas women (except in trans headcanons), even though (and I am not in Casgirl Tumblr so I can't speak for that) Deangirls often enjoy highlighting Dean's more feminine likes/traits, draw him in feminine clothing, call him things like babygirl (but not literally thinking of him as a girl), etc.

Like, Samgirls can call Sam "woman-coded" (and ugh I *hate* when ppl call characters "woman-coded" but that's another convo) but they can't point to anything exclusive to Sam other than sexist stereotypes like his long hair or lack of adherence to a hyper-masculine diet. Other things that people have pointed to to call Sam "woman-coded" are things that Dean experiences as well to a comparable and sometimes greater degree (sexual assault, denial of autonomy, objectification) (and Dean is more directly compared to Mary from a narrative perspective than Sam is, and Dean was even the one who acted as John's spouse/Mary replacement in canon).

(also hi we're mutuals 🤝 I prefer to keep thoughts like this off of my blog but I was really interested in the conversation this might provoke)

First of all, hi! Love seeing mutuals in my inbox. 💞 So much to unpack here, but I'm gonna do my best.

Disclaimer before I get into it: when I'm talking about Samgirls I'm not talking about Samgirl Fandom as a whole (just a loud vocal minority who've been trolling my mutuals' inboxes for a while). I vibe with a ton of Samgirls and I'm literally never going to come for someone who likes a character more than my fave. I also straight up don't believe in echochambers, and differing perspectives on media and character analysis is good for enrichment.

I also just wanna say for the record, I am a HUGE SAM LOVER. This is not me bashing Sam as a character at all. I'm just talking about how some parts of the fandom talk about Sam.

Yapping under the cut:

There's three huge problems with the entire "Sam is woman coded" discourse: 1) bad Sam character analysis, 2) fandom bullying, and 3) mistaking "maternal Dean," trans Dean, and Dean's relationship with gender in general analysis with Deangirls actually thinking that Dean was purposefully coded to be a woman.

Character Analysis

Whenever I see someone say that Sam is "woman coded," it's usually because of one of two reasons. Either it's because someone is taking certain character traits of Sam (he likes dieting, has long hair, went to college (?), verbalizes liberal beliefs, etc. etc), or it's because there are a few arcs where Sam deals with lack of body autonomy and sexual assault/objectionable (as you said).

To the first, I roll my eyes because Sam is a very masculine presenting person who never once in the show has a moment where he struggles with masculinity vs. femininity. Like he just doesn't, I'm sorry. And there's nothing wrong with that! Sam has so many interesting struggles that he does go through, like his relationship with family members, trying to achieve redemption for things that he's already been forgiven for, struggling to determine whether his life is real or not, etc.

The second one I can't entirely discredit, because Sam does have his autonomy taken away by Lucifer, and it is implied that he was assaulted in hell by him (and he was molested by Meg). I can't shove it into a "Sam is woman-coded" box, though, because Castiel and Dean also have had their autonomy taken away (and don't get me started on how many times the show implies that Dean was assaulted numerous times).

(I also find it a little disgusting, personally, that someone being assaulted or objectified makes them "woman" coded. It's disrespectful to woman who actually have been assaulted, and also disrespectful to men who are victims of assault.)

So yeah, I think that "Sam is woman-coded" is bad character analysis. There just isn't a reading for it in the text.

Fandom Bullying

I think certain Samgirls also lean into "Sam is woman-coded" for gross, fandom purity culture reasons. That's the best way I can describe it. Woman=good, man=evil, gender essentialism. Sam is a woman so Sam is good, but everyone who's mean and hurts Sam is a man so they are evil.

Some Samgirls are just kinda mad at Deangirls tbh

Sooo I'm gonna be real, in my personal opinion I think that "Sam is woman-coded" is a weird, but direct reaction to Dean having a bunch genderqueer readings, and also being explicitly written as a Mary parallel in the show. I'm not going to get too deep into this, but as you said, John treats Dean as a partner (that's a whole other post), he's more Sam's parent than John and Mary ever were, and he's one of the most nurturing characters on the show. He also has a fun relationship with femininity vs. masculinity which has made him the topic of a ton of trans readings.

I don't think this makes him "woman-coded." I think this gives Dean a unique relationship with his gender. I wouldn't mind if Samgirls talked about Sam having a relationship with gender (even though I don't personally think he does, or at least not in the same way Dean does), but instead we gotta hear about how Sam is "woman-coded."

And lets be so fr. Woman coded isn't even a thing. It's as dumb as saying someone is minor coded for being short.

[soullessjack]

i think another really interesting angle of tfw2.0’s dynamic is how the original 3 handle things like regret or selfishness being directly opposed, or even juxtaposed, by how jack handles them as someone experiencing those things for the first time. there’s a MASSIVE generational divide between them (even more massive by Cas’ standards) and that divide basically lays the groundwork for A) how they approach parenting jack, and B), how jack mirrors their different aspects or arcs that they previously had

like. post-S12, dean and sam and cas are all relatively at ease with their pasts and mistakes. not to say they don’t still feel guilt or hold the burden of their actions anymore, bc they Do—they explicitly say so and relay that to comfort jack over his own guilt—but they’re also well past jaded by now. they’re ready to accept what they can’t change, move on, and commit to being better. then in S13, enter: jack, a Completely New Person who doesn’t understand the world, is experiencing literally everything for the first time, and doesn’t know how to even handle feeling strong emotions or experiencing traumatic events—much less how to cope with them. and to boot, he’s the son of Lucifer and has a bit of a complex about doing even slightly bad things.

i don’t remember what post this was on or if it’s even from this blog, but it was effectively about the same thing, with just a little more mention on how sam and dean are (loosely speaking) normal humans with normal stages in development and being in the world and all that. Castiel isn’t a human, so his development was nonlinear and primarily around unlearning his celestial fundamentalism and learning how to be a human being (like the glass animals album) especially in regards to human empathy and emotions. emotions that later bring on other human things like doubt, guilt, and love. also, sam and dean and cas have had unique arcs dealing with some “inner evil” variation that motivated them differently and you get the idea —but i say this bc 1) it’s relevant , 2) to add in the human-development part specifically , 3) jack being lucifer’s direct son narratively hits even heavier* than sam and dean’s destiny as vessels or castiel’s existential deconstruction & betrayals , and also 4) to disclaim that these particular things mean jack is baby-coded or whatever bc Cas had the same arc.

*heavier in the sense that they weren’t permanent biological factors more so than outside influences and alterations and not in any sense of diminishment of what they went through or what it meant at the time YOU GET THE IDEA

you see it the most in tombstone after jack has a “Baby’s” First Murder moment and can’t get over it no matter how much the guys try to console him. he’s worried about the security guard’s potential family, of the loss he just burdened them with and (in an older script version anyways) he’s also frustrated that he can’t control himself. in other words, jack can’t accept what he couldn’t change. he’s canonically very stubborn (I forget which episode/script but at some point dean mentions something like “you know how he is when he gets ideas in his head”) especially when it comes to his own plans/goals, and he also essentially feels like being a good person + living up to Kelly’s envisioning of him + being better than his father is his personal responsibility slash burden to bear specifically because he is Lucifer’s son. which unfortunately also means that any time he fucks up he will either run away from it or lock himself in his room for weeks on end trying not to feel like he’s fulfilling a dark patrimonial prophecy.

dean is the first person to be upfront with jack about the situation (no shade to sam or cas tho). when jack says ‘you’re afraid of me,’ dean responds that it isn’t jack The Person they’re afraid of, but the harm his powers could and already did do to others. ie, jack isn’t evil just because he’s dangerous and those things don’t necessarily have the same meaning. furthermore, what sam and cas told jack in the car— they’ve all done bad things, they’re all guilty and just have to deal with it, but they can be better (which he doesn’t realize because he was born two months ago and has no concept of complex morality) — is reaffirmed by dean saying that if jack has to be a monster for 1 accidental kill, then so do the rest of them for everything on their hands. and, going unsaid but still very important, We Can Be Better Together.

now, the writing with jack isn’t always perfect.. sometimes it’s extremely hard to watch, actually. happens to the best of us. but the way they set about writing a teenage boy character, who’s frankly not really written like a standard or even stereotypical Teenage Boy character, is something i personally consider to be one of their highlights. and i say all this to say, he’s not just a cardboard Millennial (chronologically incorrect but you get the idea) and the generational divide between him and sam and dean isn’t a Father I Cannot Click The Book boomer comic. if this show was about normal people and also 100% lamer it would probably roll like that tho. but naur instead we got Father I Cannot Cope With My Guilt and it fucking rocks

TLDR the perfect found family dynamic is 1 guy who’s like “ohhhh shit i did something bad and selfish and the guilt is eating me alive now im inherently evil” and 3 guys who are like “i think we’re ALL💜 a little selfish and guilt-ridden by our sins and the fear of inherent evil 🙏but we can do better 🫶”

[theshippirate22]

I have a theory

listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut

my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:

I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory

i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here

so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:

basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill

(name pending- open to suggestions)

Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.

Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.

Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.

Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.

unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me

i’m specifically curious about:

-Hannigram (Hannibal)

-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)

-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)

-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar

-Stucky (MCU)

-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)

-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)

-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?

-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all

if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long

[eww-y-tho]

But the way Cas' relationship with the other angels is so homophobic racist conservative christian family coded.

With how long this fandom has been standing, I know I'm just saying something this fandom been knew. I just needed to get my thoughts out before I exploded. Hopefully, it's a good read anyway, though.

ALLUSIONS AND REFERENCES TO LOBOTOMIZATIONS AND CONVERSION CAMPS W/ NAOMI IS A GOOD START.

"The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost!"

Ever since Cas met you, he's gone against us, which is your fault for exposing him to that idea. Putting the blame on the other party for your family member's queerness, talking away their responsibility AND autonomy on those decisions.

(I'm not even gonna talk about the connotations underneath "touch.")

"Too much heart was always Castiel's problem."

Castiel was always off compared to other angels, more empathetic to humans, which only got stronger when meeting Dean because of the applied context of his love confession in 15x18. aka queer af.

(There are so many lines that follow/support the gay/queer interpretation, "spanner in the works," "love of humanity," etc. etc. etc; he's always seen as someone who doesn't fill the mold in a suspiciously rainbow-y way.)

"Who are you gonna believe? Your brother? Or this filthy ape?"

Ishim is probably the best example for the most overt racism, but most of the angels have exhibited some level of disdain, consider humans impure/lesser beings with microaggressions, or even just straight up racist terminology toward humans or other such kinds of discrimination and that's just real now. While this could also be read as homophobic, I think it's more applicable to racist ideation.

(The thing is, I can let Cas of the hook because it's conditioning that he grows out of, but it's clear this is a generally baked-in, cultural aspect to the behavior of angels. This quote also fits in with my next point!)

"It's us, or them," "We gave you our trust. Don't lose it over one man," "You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?" etc. etc. etc.

Hammering home the concept that is Cas' driving plot of the series; where do his loyalties lie, and more importantly, that they are mutually exclusive. Because of the inherent nature of their groups, he has to pick one or the other. Angels constantly give him a choice, which is a rather passive aggressive tactic.

If the angels just changed their opinions, the Winchesters would gladly allow more angels in their group, but they chose to have this worldview and then demand that Cas follow it to be accepted in their society. You know what that sounds like?

Talk to me once you get over this gay phase. I'll wait.

"Lost," "pathetically weak," "human weakness," etc. etc. etc.

A general association between Cas' love for Dean as weakness/an obstacle to have to overcome. There are many lines that denote their relation under these terms, which indicates that they believe that Cas' love for Dean is actually damaging, which lines up uncomfortably well with Christian values of how being queer is seen as a sin, weakness if you will, getting lost and helping you find your way

(Which also ties into the conversion camp/lobotomy thing.)

And there is one aspect to this, which I think is the most fascinating, but is definitely not the only one left, I'm just kind of blanking right now.

Samandriel spitting just before his other line.

"There are some in heaven who still believe despite his... Mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place."

Indicating a sympathy we rarely see. As in, family who aren't completely against a queer family member.

That hate the sin, not the sinner,

and don't think it's reflective of his character, and are just "mistakes."

The emotional strain it causes Cas is palpable. You can see how this scrutiny affects him on a deeply personal way that I relate to on a deeper level than any other character as a person living under similar circumstances, and I think a lot of people share this sentiment, which is why it almost feels TOO on the nose sometimes.

Mayhaps...... Intentional.

ANYWAY,

Of course, context is vital for these scenes, and Cas has done some pretty awful things to the angels in the past, but the way these scenes are framed/phrased can be EASILY read this way. It lines up startling well.

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Joongdok: "Well first of all Yoo Joonghyuk has a whole arc that is transfem coded as hell (has a power/technique that can technically only be used by women but somehow he can also use it, for a time he even turns into a woman to wield it and it's. Actually just let me get the quote "The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Joonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.") that just kinda happens,, and doesn't get brought up again but anyway. Second of all just look at them. You see the vision. Also a bonus observation is that these two often get shipped in a poly ship with Han Sooyoung and whenever I see people make a "regular couple, yaoi couple, yuri couple, I see no difference love is love" meme with them the combination of which pair among these three is which of the categories is always different"

Note: This submission also mentions Han Sooyoung, but I decided to count this polyship submission as guy yuri as well.

"They love each other, they pretend they don't care for each other but all their actions prove they care too much, if you remove someone from the trio then the resulting duo is extremely dysfunctional, as evidenced by more than a million words of canon. Is it technically guy yuri? Well, Han Sooyoung is a woman, but in a way she's one of the guys. Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk are men, but the text heavily hints that Yoo Joonghyuk is a trans woman who's just too busy and stressed out to transition yet, and Kim Dokja has just never thought about his own gender a single day in his life. They made the world for each other, they went back in time countless times and waged countless wars for each other, they wrote and read and lived a story, their story, for each other and that's what saved them all. The way Han Sooyoung writes Yoo Joonghyuk's story to save Kim Dokja and loses herself in the process, the way Yoo Joonghyuk voluntarily lives the story to the point of losing himself too and even forgetting why he originally decided to do it, the way Kim Dokja read Han Sooyoung's story which was Yoo Joonghyuk's life and that's how he found himself, they all took so much from each other and gave so much of themselves to each other, this is all very yuri."

"they're so yuri you have no idea. they have every staple of a yuri ship. unwavering devotion. waiting dozens or thousands of years for each other. dooming themselves and the world for each other. so much yearning. i also see them genderbent a lot (including inn canon in the case of yjh) and they're right both of these people are women. i genuinely can't even see them strictly as men at this point they're just yjh and kdj and they are yuri do you understand."

"they're so yuri. the abscense of yuri is the presence of yuri etc etc. these two guys are all ABOUT abscenses. also one of them is a part time woman. the other guy is a guy but like in the same way a square is a rectangle. anyway they're so guyyuri to me. bonus points also because they have a mutual girlfriend and when she's present they're girlyaoi but that's not relevant to this specifically"

For Destiel: "There’s got something wrong with her(complementary)"

[spnwin-reader]

All hail the prickliest of all: Millie Winchester

Much like a more seasoned Dean, Millie carries the scars of abandonment—and she doesn’t hide it, making it clear from the very start.

JOHN: Love what you've done with the place. MILLIE'S FIRST WORDS: My husband and son walked out on me, so. This is the best I could do.

John swallows, unsure if he’ll get affection or a reprimand. She breaks into a smile.

MILLIE: "Dammit. Welcome home, kiddo!"

I think it was one of my moots (maybe @minalblood?) who pointed out that it becomes more obvious on a second watch that Millie is a hot-and-cold, passive-aggressive figure. Her heart is full of sincere love, but it's been through the wringer, so it's guarded.

While the audience knows Henry did everything to protect them and was true and loyal (there was nothing between Henry and his coworker Josie Sands, for example), the characters don’t.

This mirrors how Castiel’s protectiveness is often more apparent to the audience than to Dean—or even Sam.

Note: Much like Dean calls Jack “kid” and “kiddo,” Millie does the same with John.

//

Dean's parallel wound?

Dean, as the cosmic narrator, might be grappling with this too.

His family is mostly accounted for—mom and dad both in heaven, Sam on earth, and he himself left off chatting with Bobby—but what’s missing? Jack and Cas are “somewhere” doing “something.” (Working?)

(1) His son’s attention. The Jack as he knew him left. (It’s unclear if he’s found that in this mini-God version of him by the end of this series). But anyway, from a high level, Jack’s run off to find meaning in the cosmos, to do work for a much larger Heavenly Cause than Dean himself is a part of.

(2) And then there’s Castiel, that aching ABSENCE in the narrative—just as Henry is for Millie. Dean was sundered from Cas without a chance to say goodbye. We will learn that Millie too had a fight with her spouse, and while they always said "I love you" no matter how bad things were, in that fateful last moment... she didn't.

//

Millie's garage kitchen

And here it is—our first kitchen, yay! Millie’s Garage Kitchen. It’s almost bunker-like, isn’t it?

Despite the tension and the brokenness between them, John still helps himself to Millie’s garage kitchenette. What an adorable brat!

He helps himself to a beer, like I AM AN ADULT NOW, MAMA!

JOHN (teehee): "What? I'm legal now!"

(Also, a shoutout to the “family-coded” picnic table and the beautiful shot with the garage fan, symbolizing movement, forward motion, and the search for purpose/meaning through work.)

*Snatches beer*

"Not today, idiot-who-illegally-joined-the-Marines-by-forging-his-dad's-signature."

Millie shakes her head, chastising him for running off like that, sidestepping her permission to do something crazy and illegal...

Interesting here, how the signature/initials comes into play here again here. John's father Henry never got to make a proper mark on John's life, so John’s left to forge one, trying to feel connected in the only way he knows.

Millie knows her kid, and she recognizes so astutely that it’s all driven by pain and grief.

MILLIE: "Two years gone, and now look at you."

JOHN (somber): "I'm fine, mom."

MILLIE: "Hell you are! You’ve been chasing your dad since you walked out our door. It's why you enlisted. And it's—it's time to let the past go... (whispers) ... Kiddo."

Of course, neither has she.

He hasn’t let go, and she’s bitter—a woman abandoned. They can’t move on partially because they don’t know what the hell happened. They think Henry just... left. Both are scarred by Henry’s loyalty to his work, unable to reconcile the grief of his sudden absence.

//

In Mother’s Little Helper in SPN prime, Henry gets a premonition of their permanent familial separation.

And it’s no accident that he’s on a case where he and his partner are undercover and clothed in religious vestments, a coded “heavenly” duty to the Men of Letters. (Duty that, in Henry’s eyes, came before everything else.)

But tragically, Henry’s premonition and gut instincts were right. He did leave Millie a widow and John fatherless. Later, when he meets Sam and Dean, he’ll describe Millie and especially John as everything. But it’s too late. There was no closure.

They don’t even know that they were so truly loved by him.

(Note: This working pair has distinct s9 & 10 Hannah and Cas-like echoes. The episode culminates in a scene with a black "Baby-like" car—one that feels a bit Dean and hunting-duty coded. That's because the “work” spirals all the way down through each level of life, high to low.)

///

What's next?

MILLIE (gets her emotions in check, shoving them down, turning stern): So what are you gonna do next?

Millie is all about motion—always looking forward, never backward. But here, that drive isn’t helping them. Every time they get near anything emotional, Millie shuts it down.

It doesn’t feel like wisdom; it feels more like a dismissal—“get over it.”

If the Campbell way is lone wolfing, then the Winchester way is work, work, work. (Sam knows this one too well!) Keep moving forward, don’t look back. Leave the past in the past.

But here, that mindset isn’t helping. You can read it on John's face. This isn't what he needs.

It's everything but the heart of the issue.

Here, John is more aligned with Dean’s way of dealing with things—heart, emotions, feeling it all. He needs to face what’s behind him, not just keep asking "what’s next?" That mentality—the constant forward motion—is likely what pushed him into action, like enlisting, like hunting.

Millie doesn’t understand why John runs. But it’s because she’s not emotionally present. She’s the one asking where to next, focused on the future and the next step.

She’s not in tune with the emotions he’s trying to process—he’s looking at what’s in the rearview, while she’s pushing forward, unwilling to stop and face what’s been left unresolved.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 AGH.

///

The quest for purpose and meaning

John is searching for meaning, but his mom can't give him that. She's too wounded to see any meaning in her own loss, too consumed by her grief.

Because there is no emotional honesty between then... John doesn't tell Millie about the letter.

In the quest for meaning, he goes alone.

He takes the letter and carries the pieces of his decade-broken family with him, running parallel to Mary, who is also reeling from her newly broken family.

When they meet, it won't be about a bright future—it will be about finally seeing each other, not through hope, but through the mess of their pasts.

Dean-the-narrator knows this all too well—building and rebuilding his life with Cas and his family, over and over. Their pasts, their obligations, always in play. Because that’s what real life is. The whole messy business of not living the apple pie fantasy or the white picket fence ideal, but facing the mess, the baggage, and still moving forward without pretending life will never let you down. That’s what running your own race looks like.

[love-byers]

Hi!! I binge-read some of your byler analysis, along with other users', and I can't help but STILL feel on the fence about hoping for byler endgame. I guess I just don't want to get my hopes super high only for them to be crushed by whatever CGI fest the düff3rs got in store to "go out with a bang" (while, obvs, sticking to the status quo and what they think the GA wants to see). I've seen so many intelligent people write media criticism pieces and analysis in support of the ship, but I still dread that the writers cry plausible deniability on all the clues they DID lay, that the people behind the N*f1ix social media accs confess that they've willingly posted queerbait to boost their engagement and thus get a bigger paycheck (I wouldn't blame them if they did, obvs; besides, it still means that some higher-up approved those misleading posts) and, worst of all, that this whole thing may end up blowing up negatively like the JohnLock conspiracy or the Voltron shenanigans or, y'know, the Supernatural fandom after Castiel's introduction and up until that lame ass final season. In your opinion, what makes byler different? Is there real hope for a satisfying mlm relationship from a show made by het men that capitalizes on 80s nerd culture nostalgia?

Sorry for coming off so jaded: I do wish for a byler ending, but it's been hard to keep my hopes aflame against these worries :c

i think everyone has some amount of doubt, which is totally understandable.

lgbt representation has come a long way, but a lot of us fans who are a bit older grew up consuming media that either had no representation or shitty representation. we sought ourselves in the media we loved and never found it, and corporations exploited that. nowadays there's way more representation that isn't left up to interpretation or censored, but a lot of the time that's in shows that are about romance and drama, high school a lot of the time. which is great, but stranger things is a sci fi show with romantic sub plots. it's easy for queer characters to end up being left out of a show like ST, but they haven't been at all.

one of the big messages of ST is embracing weirdness and being different. loving whatever it is you love, unashamed. when a character strays from being their true self or pushes away the things they love, there are consequences for the character. they become less likable to the audience. the entire theme of s4 is living in the truth, not hiding things, embracing love, being misunderstood simply because you're different. all of that is very queer coded. and it happens to be the season where will's love for mike fully comes into light.

there has been so much thought put into stranger things. the duffers have said there are no coincidences. they put thought into everything, thats why it takes so long to make a season, because they care so much. there are endless details i could point out not related to romance. they've also said they've been set on the ending for a while and will not be changing it to please people. i believe they said some people might not like the ending, but they don't care because they're making the story THEY want. which so far has uplifted queer people and promoted being different. so some antis may call be stupid for trusting them, but im choosing to. i believe they'll do these characters justice.

and my favorite quote from them is "The best plot twists don't make the audience say "wow I never saw that coming!", it makes you say "I should have seen that coming."

as a writer and a creative writing major, i definitely look up to the writers of ST. they are all incredibly talented and i hope one day i can put this much thought and love into a project. and, as a writer, i cannot see them throwing mike and will's relationship down the drain.

so, what makes byler different? there's very few shows where this much thought is put into everything. its not debatable that they do that, they've said it and its evident if you watch the show. so i refuse to believe all of these things between mike and will are just coincidences or accidents. there's just no possible way. i definitely had a klance phase and i can confidently say voltron writing is nowhere near the level of ST, and neither is supernatural. supernatural is one of those shows that has a lot of seasons and has gone all over the place in terms of writing and plot. the duffers have known the ending to this story since season 1. and unlike those shows with lots of seasons, ST only has 5. it won't be dragged on and beaten like a dead horse like some shows.

you don't have to completely eliminate your doubt. even i have doubt even after all i've said and posted. there is simply no way to confirm what'll happen before s5 releases, and they want it that way. just hold on until s5 friend

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Hey I read your Becky/Ambriel foc recently and was wondering how you go about writing the voices of characters who aren't in shows a lot. I feel Becky does have a distinct voice (which you nailed) but for Ambriel (and other characters you have written) did you just watch over her scenes or do you just go for it?

Like there's fandoms I've been in for 2 years and I wouldn't feel able to wrote the main characters' voices right.

Like ultimately when it comes to femslash (and all fic but especially femslash) it's better to write it bad than not at all but I would still appreciate knowing how you go about if that's okay to ask

I love talking about the writing process!! This got long and it's a big scattered mess of thoughts <3 it's hard to pin down a process because all of these thoughts and the actual writing of the piece happen concurrently so, chicken, egg, you know.

First of all, worrying about voice should really be an editing job, not a "writing the first draft" concern, in my opinion. Dean can sound like "good lord, why, is that my old chum Castiel? I do believe it is! Come, come, old chap, let us break burgers together and I shall tell thee of my frankly untenable week" and Cas can reply "bet" and you can put in square brackets [FIX THIS] and keep on trucking. I know this is hard to do. I too will pause on tricky sentences. Square brackets are my best friend. [Add Dean-ism] [insert joke] [reference that means "uh oh!]. But! To actually answer!

A particular character's voice is (unforch) something you can only fully develop through writing more of them and figuring out who they are to you. I used to be very stilted trying to figure out Cas’s voice, and then I wrote a lot of him and read a lot of other people's thoughts about him and thought about his actions in canon and now he's the easiest person for me to write!

What's more important than the surface level character-isms, is that they have depth and are consistent. Does the content of what they're saying make sense with the life they've led. Like, I don't think that my take on Meg really sounds all that much like canon Meg for example. But she is consistent within the fics I put her in, and shares enough snark with canon Meg that it works, AND she has motivations, reactions and ideas that are different to the other characters in the fic. It's like a cheat code, if two characters have different reactions to one event, that makes it come off like they have different voices.

Some other cheat codes: have one of them make a ton of references, and the other speak plainly (dean and sam core! but you can do that for most duos); have them make references to different things (tv vs classic literature, sci-fi vs fantasy); have one of them tell sillyjokes and the other tell dry jokes (destiel core...). Contrasts makes characters seem more separate.

For voice, I'll only rewatch if I don't remember how they said anything at all or if I remember they had a particularly distinctive way of speaking. If I needed to put Gabriel in a scene, I'd probably watch his episodes again. I've found if I do watch an episode to remind myself it can psyche me out of actually writing anything for them—Ava for example, I'm intimidating myself out of writing her at the moment lol.

For establishing a (deeper) character, you first need the basics:

Ambriel, helpfully, fits some basic tropes. Office worker. Apathetic. Angel in the vein of Castiel, Hannah and Anna (which is to say, autistic). I have a LOT of practice writing Castiel, and Ambriel is like Castiel didn't have his drive to help people or love of humanity. She is therefore: straightforward (angel), mildly bored (office worker) and her biggest want is for nothing to change for her (apathetic).

It's then how you build on the collection of tropes that makes them a Character. You figure out how to explain some of the above traits/situations they're in. What is her history? (She went to earth and didn't like it) Who is around her? (Kaisiel, whom she resists making a real connection with due to her apathy) Why is she apathetic? (It's repressed fear of punishment).

Something that really, really helps with unique characterisation for me is a little silly. Give them a niche interest. Something not mentioned in the source material at all, or is only briefly mentioned. Castiel is into the same sitcoms as me (and taxidermy). Ambriel is into data storage. Ava is into collecting small furniture.

And then go, why are they into this?

Castiel bc he loves to experience hunanity at a safe distance (and he likes to rummage).

Ambriel because it's within the scope of her job so is 'safe', which she takes pride in (and which I advanced from "pushing a button" because I thought that was stupid and bad world building 💙).

Ava wants to feel a sense of control in a world that is very much out of her control.

This not only gives you better insight into them as a character, it also makes them YOURS. that's not the cw's Ambriel, that's mine, she's into data storage, so it doesn't matter if she's off-model because no one will know, because she's mine.

As with Castiel's love of tv, you can also do this with canon interests, just hone in on specifically what it is and specifically why they like it. Dean doesn't like "music" he likes rock because it makes him feel powerful and affirms his masculinity and has a connection to his family being together. Charlie doesn't like "fantasy" she likes Lord Of The Rings and The Wizard of Oz because she values escapism and rooting for the little guy (these are also interests of Sam's!).

Plus - making it more niche and specific makes it SEEM like they have this rich inner life and history even if you don't bother to figure out why.

1) "Geraldine sighed and took the dog for a walk" vs

2) "Geraldine sighed, saved her game and took the dog for a walk" vs

3) "Geraldine sighed, saved her game of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon X, and took the dog for a walk."

Now!! Actually! 2 and 3 are where "voice" can come in. Is the POV character someone who doesn't care or know much about video games? Then 2 is the one for them. Does the POV character care a lot about being accurate, know Geraldine well enough to know what she's playing, and/or are knowledgeable about video games? Option 3! Or, bonus option 4, perhaps they're disdainful of video games/annoyed with Geraldine: "Geraldine sighed, saved her little game with the pretend animals, and finally took our very real and very whiny dog for a walk".

So!! We have a character. How do we make her distinct from the other characters in the fic? Build them concurrently!

Ambriel is apathetic about community THEREFORE Becky is desperate for it (and can't hold onto it). Becky is over-verbose, so Ambriel keeps it short (and is misunderstood as a result). Ambriel believes deep down that she doesn't matter, so Becky deep down believes that she (both herself and Ambriel) is special and important and deserves worship.

So. I think you were expecting this but. think about their motivations and then just start writing them and it'll work out.

okay I gotta go make dinner. does this help???? MWAH

[deancaspinefest]

Super Double Bus

Author: MBQ | Artist: girlinthemirrorbluenight

Posting on Wednesday April 3

Castiel Novak's first quarter at UIC had been carefully planned and scheduled out. He had his list of "Re-Entry" classes neatly checked off and had already gotten the academic calendar figured out. He thought he was properly prepared and debriefed for his first freshman outing to the Navy Pier with far too many baby-faced eighteen-year olds, but he'd indulge them. Being a few years older and with some junior college already on his transcripts, he was pretty confident he could handle any curveball these toddlers could throw. But a boyfriend-shaped Dean Winchester quickly proves to be a problem that is rapidly demanding a solution.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

A notification popping up with a chime interrupted his reverie and he was informed that the party bus had arrived. Or rather: “Votre bus discothèque le super double vous attend. Veuillez appuyer sur ok pour envoyer votre réponse.” Castiel could hear the words like wet jewels rolling around his tongue in his head even if he didn’t quite understand what was being said--yet. He picked out the decipherable cognates and tapped OK on the pop up.

The party had rolled to his door and there was no way out of it.

Outside, the disco bus was a sleek black bus with so much neon Cas squinted in its general direction. The neon wasn’t the garish palette of seedy bars in Atlantic City or the strip malls of southern California. It was a purple-blue palette and looked very modern indeed. His marketing eye picked up all the attention to detail and gauged who their target demo was. He approved of it from a market sense. It still was the last way he felt like spending his first jet lagged night in Paris after a hellish flight. He vaguely wondered what the middle aged lady was doing and almost wished he had followed up on that. He didn’t see a ring on her weathered hand, but that wasn’t a deterrent. Just another obstacle. She wasn’t unattractive and she seemed mellow enough. It would have been enough to get his dad off his ass and maybe he’d have some companionship that wasn’t drunk twenty somethings with their damn selfies, ring lights and perpetual photo sessions. He groaned and clicked a quick, uninspired pic of the disco bus as it rolled to a stop in front of his hotel. He had a second thought that he could have made a montage or reel with the arrival that would have kept him occupied for the most of the evening, but the opportunity had passed.

He pulled up his QR code and held it to the infrared scanner that flared in his blood shot eyes as the doors whooshed open. He considered having a drink. It might take some of the sleep deprived, irritated-at-his-Chuck edge off. It had been a while since he wanted to drink. In fact, his drink with Dean on the rooftop bar had been his last. He had successfully avoided the house parties of his dorm and Dean’s GC knew not to extend him an invite. But tonight he actually felt like drinking. He loosened his blue tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Maybe a little bit.

(continue reading on Ao3 on Wednesday April 3)

[quietwingsinthesky]

hey bug,

what do you think of

Gayest Supernatural Character, Quarter-Finals

drama and who do you believe is the truest queerest character in supernatural?

i think all spn polls drama is nonsense. it's fun until people start being actual assholes about stuff, and a poll like 'gayest spn characters' does make the worst elements of the fandom get overly aggressive trying to prove their claim to the queerest blorbo. a lot of people here have attached an unhealthy amount of their own identity to their favorite characters (and specifically, to a very narrow perception of said favorite characters) that leads to them lashing out when they feel that character disrespected, as it feels like a slight against them, personally. deeply strange and uncomfortable behavior when we should all just be talking about how crowley kisses men on screen for fun.

anyway, 'truest queerest character of supernatural' is a bit of a mixed bag because there's two options here. which character is the queerest textually, as in, was allowed to be openly queer and express queer love the longest and most often. and which character's subtextual narrative was most reflective of queerness, which is what a lot of people are arguing about the most. because you can't really argue about the first one. like. the only queer character who got to be queer, openly and constantly and for multiple seasons, make out with multiple women on screen, and not be treated like her sexuality is a joke is charlie bradbury. and we can talk about how well or poorly she's written as a character, but in supernatural, she is like a fucking lesbian beacon. and she's still bare fucking minimum in a cast whose other notable queers consist of 1) joke characters we are meant to mock for the fact that they are queer, 2) one-off characters who either die or in the case of later seasons where killing off gay people instantly because slightly less okay, do not get to express a lot of their queerness on screen before being shunted off to never scare the largely cishet audience again, or 3) villains. just like. villains. i know we love this about them, i know we're all gay little freaks here on the lucifer stan blog who enjoy that he's Like That about sam. but the fact that a lot of the villains on supernatural are queer-coded if not just openly queer is. :/ not great, folks.

and now we get to what my answer is for number 2) most subtextually queer. because like. it isn't charlie. charlie's queerness is not a part of her journey in any way. which is, kind of refreshing? but also very evidently the result of the writers not actually knowing how to integrate a lesbian into their story other than like. let her kiss women. charlie is written about as deep as a puddle 90% of the time, and that's the real crime we should talk about with her at the end of the day. getting distracted. anyway. for subtextual queerness. i mean, for me, it's sam. quite obviously, it's sam. sam the othered, sam the defiled, sam the broken and never pure. sam in his struggles trying to connect to a religion and a god who rejects him. sam who is and always will be the devil himself even when he proves that he can overcome him. sam who cannot win, no matter how quiet he makes himself and how much he acquiesces to the demands of the patriarchal family structure he's been slotted into.

hm. sam who knows he's dying, and sam who refuses to take a chance at life if it means burying everything about himself he's tried to construct and rising again as someone new.

i don't think you can honestly argue that sam's story doesn't resonate queerly. and i know this because most of the arguments i've seen against it have been "well, but sam (or sometimes "jared") feels too straight to be queer in any way". to which the only response can be THEY'RE ALL STRAIGHT. ALL OF THEM. THERE ARE NO QUEER MAIN CHARACTERS ON SUPERNATURAL. and yes, i am intentionally including castiel in there, for the people who argue his status as a main character. no. i don't think a love confession -> death pipeline is particularly compelling as a queer narrative, least of all because his potential queerness has always been treated like a joke or a reason to emasculate him, and to actually explore what it means that castiel loves dean winchester would take a much better show than supernatural could ever be. and it still wouldn't be a show that makes people happy, if it was honest, because it'd be a show about the slow and steady decline of one broken man constantly proven right about his paranoia and his abuse and his control issues, and one broken angel who has set him up as a god because he never really learned what free will was, just learned that following dean winchester means he has it.