#very important for dean&jack as well yes

[soullessjack]

he is so important to me

[angelsdean]

Also, since I'm divorce arc posting today, what if i said Dean wasn't wrong to say this:

CASTIEL The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong. DEAN Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

LIKE !!!!! Sure it was harsh and if emotions weren't heightened already and Dean wasn't still dealing with the very recent death of his mother and that grief (anger being a stage of grief!) and ALL the Chuck shit on top of that AND his own complicated feelings re: Jack's death (bc Dean was Not going to kill him, despite Chuck trying to manipulate him into doing that) he probably wouldn't have said that to Cas but like?? he's not really wrong.

You can easily trace a lot of the major season conflicts as a long line of dominoes starting with Cas's s6 betrayal. Leviathans. Purgatory. The tablets. Angels falling. Lucifer getting out of the cage via Cas possession. Etc etc. And most of the time Cas was doing things from a place of good intentions in his POV. Trying to fix things or spare others the burden of doing the hard thing. But still, these plans often backfire for Cas. Going it alone, not letting Dean (+ Sam) in on his plans, it usually does not end well !!!! They are TEAM Free Will for a reason. The show (and Dean) continuously emphasizes the importance of team and family and not going it alone. So, while what Dean says to Cas in this scene is definitely a harsh pill to swallow and not something I think Dean would say to Cas in normal circumstances, he technically isn't wrong. And that's what makes it such a heart-breaking scene.

And even more-so, he's saying this but he still, at his core doesn't want Cas to leave. ("Of course I wanted you to stay.") At the moment he needs space and time to process his grief re: Mary, and all the other stuff going on, but he still wants Cas there and ultimately wants to fix things. ("I'd rather have you." "We can fix this." "I was there where were you." etc etc)

But to fix things they need to address his huge persistent, recurring issue between them: not communicating effectively and Cas continuously leaving, going rogue, and/or deciding for them when to involve Dean.

Dean wants to work together, as a team. Dean wants to be involved. Dean wants Cas to not just up and disappear and "deal with things" on his own like he always does. Cas, in his own POV, sees his actions as perhaps a form of care. He's protecting! He's taking on the hardships! Also, his hubris, wanting to be the strong protector type. Wanting to be a warrior. Powerful. Securing "wins." And these desires stem from his years as a soldier of Heaven, of equating worth with Results. Not something Dean has put on him or required of him.

But Dean doesn't see Cas's actions the way Cas perceives them. We as the omniscient audience know more about Cas's motivations than Dean does too. Dean often just sees Cas leaving, prioritizing the mission and shutting Dean out. However, I do think it's important to note that Dean is also usually willing to give Cas the benefit of the doubt, defend him, and forgives easily / implicitly.

They both care deeply about each other and don't maliciously mean to press on each other's specific insecurities and traumas but like, Dean is abandonment issues boy. And Cas keeps leaving. Or ignoring his calls when their daily lives are a constant life or death battle because they are literally living in a horror show! Dean is not unreasonable to be worried when he doesn't hear from Cas for days, weeks, months on end. He's not being "clingy" or "demanding." Expecting some base form of communication from the people you care about is normal in any relationship. Cas refusing to communicate in these moments IS a problem between them.

So, when Dean says, "Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?" re: Cas being the "problem" it's harsh yes! But it's pushing them toward addressing this recurring issue (Cas going rogue often = plans backfiring) and the root of that issue which is Cas continuing to leave to do things on his own, change the game-plan without running it by anyone, and keeping others out. This moment is a breaking point. Because Dean, under normal circumstances, is generally one to defend, forgive, and move past Cas's mistakes. Cas himself says it in this very scene: "You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt."

But at this point something needs to give, they need an explosive moment to just bring all these issues to light. It's a rupture.

Yes, Dean might "still blame [Cas] for Mary" but Cas also knows deeply, as he expresses to Jack, that Dean needs time and space to process his emotions. That he feels things more acutely and intensely but that ultimately he usually comes to a place of acceptance / forgiveness / is able to move on.

That's what Dean wants and needs in this moment. He needs space to deal with his feelings and his grief (clearly in the anger stage of it). And he also wants to finally address these issues! But Cas is also struggling himself and in his own mind he's feeding old insecurities. He let Belphegor get under his skin. He thinks he's not needed or wanted anymore. So, he does what he tends to do. Leave.

CASTIEL Well, I don't think there's anything left to say. [Castiel makes to leave.] DEAN Where you going?

Cas decides to leave and Dean immediately asks where are you going? Because even now, feeling how he does, he doesn't want Cas to leave.

What Dean wants is to have a confrontation. He wants to get to the root of their issues. He asks Cas why didn't he just stick to the plan. And emphasizes the concept of WE, of being a team. "We would've figured it out....after. With Rowena." He wants them to stick together, work together. But he's struggling. He's grieving. And still, he wants Cas to stay, of course I wanted you to stay.

And I say it all here in this post but the whole "I left but you didn't stop me" is just, Cas really? From Dean's POV he sees Cas's leaving as a choice Cas makes. He respects his choice and doesn't ask him to stay because he also does not feel he deserves to ask people to stay for him. He is always putting his own wants and desires second to those of others. He thinks, if Cas wants to leave, who is he to stop him?

Anyways, I think too much of divorce arc puts blame on Dean or makes Dean out to be "the bad guy" and "the reason" Cas leaves and the one who needs to "grovel" and apologize / be forgiven. But Cas is not blameless. Cas leaves because Cas leaves. Cas leaves because he chooses to and because he does not want to confront the realities of the situation or his own role in their issues. And after Cas leaves he continues to bury his head in the sand and be avoidant (thee core issue!) while also going out and working a solo case in an effort to secure a "win" and prove to himself that he's still capable of getting things right and not always failing.

And all of this, the complexity, the layers, Cas's stubbornness and flaws, is deeply delicious to me. Cas is not a blameless innocent little baby who got his feelings hurt by "big meanie Dean" in this situation. He is someone who heard a hard truth from someone he cares about and made the choice to leave instead of confronting the issue. And throughout it all, they both still deeply care about each other. It's evident in everything they do. And they want to work it out, but are both at different places and struggling with their own feelings too.

[szilverer]

so, after a timely realization post-hallowmas,

reisz has officially joined the great hellbound railway's board! 🥳

...although. they did not think they'd be put in a position of power when they decided to invest contributing money from the sidelines. what do you mean reisz is on equal grounds with all these important people.? was it really that much money???

liveblog rambling about latest developments under the cut lol

wait, but the last i've updated of them they were still slowly dipping their toes into seeking and peckish enough to eat an entire clown car's worth of people! well, to sum it up, every addict has a wake-up call moment and reisz' came after the unexpectedly disturbing nightmare that left a little gift on their skin. reisz was not pleased by this in the slightest, but it's not like they immediately recognized it for what it was. they wanted to believe it was just a particular dream phenomenon, yeah, surely they'd be able to sneak away from it in parabola as always.

(this was when i realized the surprise benefit that was marrying them to edward-- i can use him as a plot device LMFAO. aight eddie i bet ya dont wanna become a widow while that moonmilk is still lingering so your job now is infodumping your clueless spouse every now and then. hence: )

after a little kidnapping, a frenzied feast of rubbery lumps and a bit of denial, reisz gets so goddamn pissed at the prospect of forever staining all their shirts (and their ivory gowl!!!) with blood that they quit seeking outright.

SIGHS.

so. that was that.

alas, after stitching themself up, reisz took up on an old invitation to concord square where some ppl (for some reason??) wanted to handle them the Jack case. considering reisz had already freed london of a menace of a man, sure, let's do it again.

it was there that they came across an invitation to the railway venture. once again, barely reading the details, they went headfirst into it. scrip? ya want scrip? i can get scrip stat. no idk what scrip is but i got it by accident when i sold some lab reports. hahaha yes im joking of course! of course.

reisz sacrifices 3 of their headless skeleton friends to the bone market the very next day (these being their first skelly dealings in that market ever...) and heads to the board. there were faces both old and new.

HAL - acquaintances, hadnt seen him in a while but had good times drinking before. fun company. alright.

The Efficient Commissioner - never seen before. (me, player: HIIIII HELLO FINALLYYYYYYY)

the board has reisz recommend choose a third member (why.) they only heard of Jenny way back in the waswood, and the last time they saw Feducci they had hacked him to pieces after a shared gaze of profound understanding that reisz didnt wanna think about, so... Jovial Contrarian my lad. come on over! we always chat at parties anyway!

reisz was immediately forced to go excavating to pay a bribe. off to a great start there. then the deviless reisz duped months ago invited herself over to the board and they sincerely hoped she had forgotten all that stuff about the stones.

finally, the church meddles in, and they have to choose between... a bishop they never heard about and the dean of xenotheology. they chose the dean solely bc she reminded them of Dr. Vaughan. (no, the bishop that edward kidnapped was never an option. he's one of the handful of people that know about the whole marriage thing so no way.)

this entire thing had barely started and it had already begun to give them a headache. reisz goes to sleep tired as all hell and is woken up at an equally unholy hour:

(cue me screaming bc i FINALLY get to meet this absolute celebrity. furnace the woman that you are. shes SUCH an interesting character right off the bat.)

reisz is not even close to being a political person -- they've been a red player through and through -- so they didnt particularly like the idea of being the bridge between the board and the union. it was to their relief that this furnace person seemed quite level-headed and someone they could personally get along. some good news, at least? (i am also very 👀 at the possibility of reisz actually giving a damn about a political faction in the future. lets see!)

now all the bureaucracy was out of the way, and the GHR can finally start laying the actual track! surely the other members are gonna make the arrangements soon, right?

...right...?

[nightwingsdiscordkitten]

So this is what I have so far on the Dean Winchester character analysis it's a bit all over because I wrote it while on the bud home but I'm writing it in a notebook of mine in a more clear and organized way then gonna re type it once I get it done

Also if you guys don't mind pls add your own character analysis of your own or just things you've noticed during the series because I really don't wanna mischaracterize him and accidentally make him into a complete different person especially since Dean's whole character is literally so important to me

Also I don't want anyone to think I'm gonna excuse the bad things Dean has done to Sam, Cas, and also Jack. I wanna include the fact that he isn't that great of a person and i still wanna hold him accountable for all the bad things he has done throughout the series

How Dean Winchester is. Given the parental role and also the more “women” or ‘feminin’ role in the series and also by the fandom.

Firstly we will talk about the fact that from a very young age (four years old) when his mother died in the fire he was the one to grab Sam from his crib and ran out of the house while his father stayed back. We see this in the very first episode and was also mentioned in one of the later seasons, growing up he was given the parental role because John (the father) was to busy with ‘grieving” his dead wife to the point that he threw himself and his family into the hunter life leave Dean and Sam to grow up on the road with no real home, they stayed in dirty old motels and barely had money to live off of, you can see this by the fact that they never had Christmas and I know that’s not a very ‘big deal’ BUT the fact that Dean had to sneak off and steal from a random home to give Sam some type of Christmas and also the fact that Dean was arrested for stealing some peanut butter bread and then was sent to Sunny’s home or wayward boys. There was also hints that Dean barley ever got to eat and often have his food to Sam so he wouldn’t go hungry at night, I don’t know if it was ever actually mentioned but it was hinted in episodes where Dean would have flashbacks or it was hinted, you can also notice this with how Dean eats his food, it’s more animalistic and rushed while Sam eats more calmer and also less, that is because Sam never had to really worry because Dean always fed him but Dean never knew when his next meal was so I believe it is a trauma response. Another trauma response is also is his savior complex, in the show we often see Dean more concern for Sam then himself and and could also be a readily for his own self destructive tendencies but we’ll talk about that later- since Dean has taken care of Sam his whole life Dean took on the parental role naturally and also started to relaty on Sam to be there constantly because Sam is his only constant figure in his life much how Dean is Sam’s only constant figure as well. Why is Sam and Dean each others only constant figure even tho they both have John tho? Well that is because John wasn’t the parental figure they needed. They only could rely on each other and no one else, sure they had Bobby but they don’t show him much in their flashback so I don’t know how much of a role he had in their childhood because he only really shows up more in their adult life, I do belive Bobby was there in their childhood because we see Bobby and Dean playing catch in season 7 when Bobby dies but that’s pretty much the only scene we get with Bobby and younger Dean every other scene is when Dean is a adult, so that makes me belive even more that Sam was deans only constant and the same with Dean for Sam. Now, about the savior complex, there are multiple examples of Dean wanting to risk his life for same and wanting to ‘save’ Sam for example

•Dean welling his soul in season 1 to same Sam

• Dean wanting to save Sam from ruby and his demon blood addiction

•Dean wanting to say yes to Michel

•Dean trying to get rid of the mark of Cain

•Giving himself up to Amra

•Even giving his own childhood up for Sam

Etc (look up more of deans self scarification)

We also see Deans self destructive tendencies by the fact he pushes people away, him being a alcoholic, him hiding his own traumas and emotions resulting him to have break downs or out bursts of rage because that was what he grew up on. He never learned how to let his anger out in normal healthy ways I believe that was because of John and how he was raised because we constantly see John being abusive and taking his anger out of Dean.

Again this is super all over the place but that’s because it’s still the rough draft I’m planing on rewriting all of this to make more sense and also I still wanna add more things to this as will because There’s so much more I wanna talk about but just can’t put it in words exactly

[scoobydoodean]

I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

[eisforeidolon]

So on the subject of John supposedly being an alcoholic [X], let's talk about what evidence there actually is in the canon that references his drinking.

In the pilot, Sam makes two quick references to John drinking - "he's probably working overtime on a Miller shift" and he's hunting deer at a cabin with "Jim [Beam], Jack [Daniels], and Jose [Cuervo]". Except taking that as evidentiary is ignoring the very obvious and important context that he says those things in front of and directly to Jessica, respectively. It's a very neatly normal explanation to give her for why Dean might not want to talk in front of her (about embarrassing family problems) and why Sam would be worried enough to take off in the middle of the night. John's not a monster hunter, he's an alcoholic on a bender with guns! When Jessica isn't in the room, the conversation becomes all about hunting, with no mention of alcohol - even when Sam is bringing up John's previous disappearances and questionable parenting choices? It's no longer part of the conversation.

The next obvious reference is Nightmare, where the quote is, "We're lucky we had Dad. [...] Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him." I think we can take this one at face value since there's no outside audience, but what does it really say? Definitively that John was less of an abusive drunk than Max's father, though that doesn't say hardly anything at all considering what it would take to be worse. Presumably that Sam & Dean were aware of John drinking at least sometimes to some extent, though "a little more/a little less" is pretty euphemistic in this context. Anything beyond that is putting a lot of mileage onto a pretty vague statement.

Another comment that isn't for an outside audience you could take to be about drinking is in Dark Side of the Moon, where Sam is talking about his "first real Thanksgiving" and when Dean says they had Thanksgiving every year, Sam dismissively says "We had a bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch." Sam is pointedly making a comparison between a big family togetherness meal at a table and the Winchesters getting a takeout bucket of chicken in whatever dodgy motel room with no especial fanfare. While I think it's not an unreasonable assumption to make that John was passed out after drinking, it is an assumption - alcohol isn't mentioned. Sam could be referring to him taking a nap on his day off from hunting rather than bothering to do anything special - Sam would clearly be disappointed in the lack of Normal Family Traditions either way (if he was yearning enough to enjoy someone else's big family Thanksgiving as a particularly happy memory). Even if John was drunk, we're talking about behavior on a holiday specifically about family togetherness in a broken family. Bad judgement? Yes. Alcoholic? Trickier question.

The last one I can think of/track down is in The Girl Next Door. It does explicitly talk about John drinking. When flashback!Amy is concerned about her mom's possible reaction to a minor spill, "Yeah, well, she has a temper. Sometimes. It's... no big deal." Flashback!Sam replies with, "My dad does, too. You don't want to see him when he's drinking." While I think Sam is clearly smitten with her and wants to relate to her? He doesn't have the same kind of need to lie and prevaricate in this situation as he did with Jessica. So I think we can safely say Sam has seen John drinking and that he sometimes has a temper when he does. How often that happens, though, and how much drinking is involved? Well, again, those are not details we can get from the text without adding a fair bit of interpretation in one direction or the other.

Are there any big obvious ones I'm missing? Or even smaller ones? It's been a while since my last rewatch and I just don't know the final few seasons very well.

Look, I'm not nominating John Winchester for Father of The Year. He's a complex and conflicted character with some clear faults who makes mistakes (just like his sons). It's one thing to recognize that - or to just dislike him! It's another thing to treat headcanons based on a few vague implications as canonical fact.

[ananke-xiii]

From Epic to Tragedy to ... Epic, I guess? Or why Supernatural Season 6 is the most important season of all (pt 1).

Do I have your attention? Yes, good. But just so you know it'll be long and in installments and maybe it makes sense or maybe not.

Yes, I know the title is a tiny bit incendiary but I promise I have a point to make.  

So, my idea: I posit that SPN S1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone while S6, in an unexpected turn of events, heavily shifts the show towards a tragic narrative with an epic tone. S6 creates a great divide within the narrative itself that the show is ultimately unable to resolve. On one hand Sam will “carry on” the epic narrative, on the other Castiel will “swan dive” to his (many) tragic endings. S8-11 arc correctly identifies Dean as the character who's able to mitigate the divide and bring the two narratives together. However, the pervy obsession Chuck has with Deanthe show simply refuses to do so, consequently S12 introduces Jack (as an absent character but we already know from S11 The Mother as an Archetype is now alive and well in the unfridged Mary so the emergence of The Son is something clear from the very ending of the previous season) as the character most likely to resolve the narrative. However, S13-15 arc fails because it wants to do too many things at the same time. The "funny" thing is that, as a result, all characters just seem to be extremely tired of The Journey, The Quest, the obstacles, they all start screaming "Catharsis!" but it's still not given to them (hello Chuck!). By the time Cas makes the deal with The Empty the audience feels the impending tragedy and it's partially given to them, although... The show doesn't mend "The Rupture" between the two narratives, Cas dies as a tragic hero, Sam as an epic hero and Dean and Jack will remain in their limbo (a limbheaven, I guess? lol) but in substantially different positions. I personally think that this is what led to the audience’s conflicted response about the finale: ultimately the scale was tipped off in favor of the tragic narrative but the audience was eventually given the epic narrative ending.  

Premise: this is my very first attempt at writing what in my mind, I hope, will turn out to be an analysis, a meta if you will, about Supernatural. I stand on the shoulders of giants and I myself am a microscopic ant but, you know, there’s room for everyone even for a little ant like me. I want to write down my thoughts and share them with strangers on the internet because 1) if I keep all my ideas trapped inside my head I’ll explode; 2) writing them down helps holding my spiraling mind down; 3) I thrive when people listen to my convoluted thoughts and share their opinions and we all have heated chats and sometimes I end up hating those people because they’re right but also I fall in love with their minds lol.  

Finally, please just remember that I’m also just a girl, sitting in front of a laptop, asking you to not come at me.

Part 1: Or where I posit that SPN s1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone…

Tell me, O Muse, of the man of many devices…

After the Pilot, the first SPN episode starts with two guys playing a videogame. One tells the other that he’s cheating; the other replies that he’s just smart. Interesting. The third guy we see (Guys! Guys! Guys!) is sending a video to his girlfriend and oh, look! He’s reading “The Hero with a Thousand Face” written by Joseph Campbell.

In less than 10 seconds the show is literally telling us everything we need to know: we’re dealing with Young Males, An Adventure, Trials, Obstacles… and with the completion of the journey (just like the videogame: overcome all your obstacle until you win). Basically, the show is an epic narrative. More specifically, it’s an epic narrative like The Odyssey. Well, actually, no. It’s more like The Telemachy. The Telemachy is the first 4 books of the Odyssey where Telemachus leaves Ithaca for the first time to look for his Absent Father. Sounds familiar? By the way, to this day I can’t help but feel deep admiration when I realize that The Odyssey is the story of The Absent Father and it starts off… precisely with his absence! Just like Supernatural, LOL.

Necessary aside: as if this was not already enough S10E5 Fan Fiction gifts us with what I find is the most brilliant meta ever metaed on SPN (and no, I’m not talking about the fan fiction part). In this episode we find out that the MOTW is… *drums roll* CALLIOPE!!! The muse who presides over EPIC POETRY! And she wants to EAT The Author (and, in hindsight the fact that the Real Author is God… I mean, possibly Calliope was THEE monster that they really shouldn’t have killed lol). As if this was not enough… Maggie hits Calliope with… The Odyssey! Robbie Thompson was VIBING when he was writing this episode, I’m telling you!

Okay so now going back to my main point. Supernatural epic has a very distinct tragic tone. The Absent Father does return like Odysseus (end of S1) but he can’t stay (beginning of S2): in order for the Adventure to continue The Father must die (unlike the Odyssey where Father and Son unite to defeat the enemy and Return to The Ordinary World Together). After all, this is not The Odyssey, it’s The Telemachy where The Hero is not The Father but The Son.

So know let’s talk about The Son. The Epic Hero in Supernatural is Sam Winchester. He’s the one marked at birth by the story, aka The Special Kid with Psychic Powers of S2. This is the second half of the “Challenges and temptations” phase of the Hero’s Journey culminating with The Revelation and the subsequent Death&Rebirth. Sam will have to go through this cycle a lot because his own role commands it. He has to face the Abyss and then come out of it otherwise the story can’t progress. Occasionally, he’ll have to step outside the Special World into the Ordinary World (The Normal Life) even though he has not completed all the stages because the story needs to reboot and if The Hero goes back to the Ordinary World having completed all the stages then the story is over. This is why after 15 (FIFTEEN!) season it might feel (or, as I should say, I feel because people here largely disagree) that Sam’s arc is.. well, not exactly something that varies over time. It’s not the character’s fault: he’s just drawn that way (because the show refused to let go of this trite and old Hero’s Journey cycle but this is a topic for another time, hello Chuck, ya basic!). So Sam, The Son. S3 Sam faces the challenges of possibly losing his brother so The Quest is trying to save Dean. Of course, this won’t happen (as previously stated, Sam needs a continuous Quest because he’s an Epic Hero) so we’re back at square one in S4-5 with the demon blood, the 66 sigils and, ultimately, Lucifer and the apocalypse.

Sam is the Epic Hero, special by birth, called back to the Adventure by his brother, quick learner, intelligent and warrior-like, overcomer of obstacles, trials and (maybe to a lesser degree lol) temptations and capable of facing the Abyss. I like the fact that he's definitely not The Perfect Hero because his many flaws make him more compelling and fascinating. Speaking of flaws, there's one thing that Sam lacks. Sure, like all characters on every TV show he has a need, a desire AND a fatal flaw. However, there is a fatal flaw and THE fatal flaw: hamartia.

Hamartia is the tragic flaw, the character's very own trait that brings about his very own downfall. How do we know that Sam lacks this very specific trait? Because he never experiences utter and total ruin brought about by his and his own only hands.

However, there is a certain character, the one and only character that dares to "make it up as [he goes]", that committs a huge mistake, and he errs not because of some events, not because of some circumstances, possibly not even because of God's will: he just makes decisions that trigger cosmic consequences...

I wonder who could it be...

[quietwingsinthesky]

Let Jack do some biting and exploding as a little treat. He needs it for enrichment in his environment! Alternatively this is his “hormone driven teen age rebellion/angst” phase. Or he’s threatening to run away and live with Sam.

Assuming you’re referencing my anti-domestic destiel au: yeah 🥰 jack is in just the worst situation here, and he put himself there, sure, he agreed to it, thought it would be okay. but crucially, to me, he also thought it was temporary. and that the love he would experience as Dean & Cas’s actual baby wouldn’t differ that much from what he gets as himself. And when it actually is different, when they treat him different, (maybe there’s more kindness in Dean when he’s holding someone that looks more like a child, maybe Castiel’s more attentive and knows how to handle him better because after all, he planned, he took classes, for a baby) that’s rough! horrible and frustrating!

and since they’re all pretending this is fine and makes them happy, he spends more time than he should playing along and feeling worse and worse about himself. I think things should start breaking around him. His toys all crack and twist into terrible shapes. Blood stains show up on his baby blankets. He cries and glass shatters. (He’s trying so hard to keep it in, but it’s not working, he’s upset and he doesn’t even have an outlet to talk about it or anything because Dean and Cas are fully treating him like the toddler he’s taken the shape of.)

I really think Sam would be his saving grace here because Sam is a reprieve from having to keep up that appearance and act. Sam treats Jack as his son, yes, but also as an adult, because that is what Jack is, fast growth cycle and odd birthday count or not. He doesn’t want to be a child. The window for that has passed. He’s grown up.

(I swear that Jack’s part in this isn’t just me being frustrated with his literal infantilization in popular fanon as a character who’s very obviously (to me, anyway) coded as autistic. I swear. It’s not all that. Just. Most of it.)

Jack running away with Sam would be such a way to kick off the falling apart of this “perfect” life that Dean and Castiel have constructed. Their son up and fucking leaves, goes to live with Sam because he can’t stand how neither of them look at him and actually see who he is rather than who they’d prefer him to be. Maybe jumpstarts a few realizations about the fact that they aren’t seeing each other truthfully either, that they’re both miserable and need to split up before they lose their friendship that’s so important to them as well.

(and of course, for extra drama, Jack should burn their house down. What better way to signify that the Normal Apple Pie Life is coming to an end then a housefire. Dean walks in to check on Jack during the night and instead of a baby, there’s Jack standing there next to his small bed, eyes burning gold and neither of them can say anything before the whole room explodes into flame. (Which Jack is very upset about. He didn’t mean that to happen. (He’s glad that it did.) He just lost control.)

but also just in general even outside of this au, jack should be allowed to bite people <3 it’s good for him <3 he gets his bloodthirsty urges to tear out people’s throats from his dad! (sam)

[echoes-lighthouse]

Bananas and Lychees for the general selfship asks please!

Haha YES thank you Emile <3 ^-^

Here's the ask game if other people want to reblog it but I THINK I've actually gotten every single thing asked to me already!! I just have to make my way through my inbox!

lychees ✦ do you use self-shipping to explore dynamics that you otherwise wouldn't in real life? if so, what dynamics (if you're willing to tell)? do you use self-shipping to imagine things you do want to experience in real life?

Little bit of both! I use my selfshipping 90% as escapism: usually that's higher-energy dynamics that I just don't have energy for in real life. Me and my IRL partner are very homebound due to mental and physical disabilities so even a lot of my positive selfships are like... not things that I currently want because I know they would just exhaust and hurt me lol

And then of course I do have darker ships where I specifically explore dynamics I would never want in real life, where communication is shut down and one person has all the power, or it's a constant struggle between us for domination. None of which I would ever want: I am very concerned about comfort in my real relationships (both my own and my partners') and I literally have never skipped a chance to over-communicate.

The only place in my selfships where I feel like I really am exploring something that I want is in some of the specific non-sexual kink dynamics that I have with some of my f/os: it's something that I haven't had for a while and I would really like to have again with a platonic partner in kink.

bananas ✦ do you have any ships unrelated to self-ship?

BOY DO I!!!

Shipping is literally soooo important to me as a person and has been for a lot of years: I recently made a top 100 ships list (and I'm almost done moodboards for each one) and I'm going to expand it to a top 200 ships list as well!!!

If anyone wants to hear about MORE of my ships or why I ship them or anything like that then you can so totally hit me up, but here is my top ten list!!! (under a readmore for people who don't like canon shipping)

I made this list based on the idea of 'what dynamic I'll never be tired of: if I was going to read a new AU or fic idea, which pairing would I like to read it about?'

ECHO'S TOP TEN ALL TIME SHIPS

10: Spock/Kirk (Star Trek)

9. Jack/Bitty (Check Please!)

8. Holmes/Watson (Every Source)

7. Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, book version)

6. Rey/Kylo (Star Wars)

5. Lan Zhan/Wei Ying (The Untamed/MDZS)

4. Charles/Erik (X-Men Movies)

3. L/Light (Death Note)

2. Skulduggery/Valkyrie (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Dean/Castiel (Supernatural)

(yes, my shipping taste in my top-tier tends to be very basic and match AO3 trends, because the more content I consume about a ship, the more I ship it! So it's rare for rarepairs to get up in those high brackets for me, but you can tell how much I LOVE them when they do get up there: looking at you, Valduggery)

[zepskies]

Thank you so much, hun!! (And you're very welcome.) I'm so excited to dive into what you thought of how this closed out with Part 3. 🥰💓

Please don't apologize!! I love this kind of feedback, and this absolutely made my day. 🥹

YES!! You let him know, Dean-O. I know why he didn't but damn, if this isn't making me hot and steamy for Dean Winchester, I don't know what will.

Oh yeah, Dean held back for her sake, but he was fully prepared to take Carter out. 😬 And lollll I do not blame you!

We didn't see much of their relationship in the series, bits and pieces here and there. But I love this so much. Sam being close to his brother's girlfriend or even Dean being close to Eileen, just does things to my little heart. I love healthy relationships. But what I love most about this is that Sam loves my latina girl, because she is good for Dean. And Dean loves Eileen because she is good for Sam. And I am still mad that we didn't get more of this in the show. Missed opportunities, writers.

You know, now I do wish I had included more of the reader's dynamic with Sam as well. I implied it with glimpses here and there, like you said, but yeah I wanted to show exactly that -- that Sam loves her in large part because she's good for Dean and sees her as part of his family as well. I do wish we had gotten more of Dean interacting with Eileen on the show!!

EXACTLY!! You cannot tell me that after they raised the literal new GOD, that he wouldn't pop up to save Dean one last time. You're just gonna let a rebar, A REBAR, take the most feared hunter out! Jack would never!

Totally agree! I thought that was a major plot hole. Yeah he was "hands off," but you can't tell me Jack wouldn't be looking out for Sam and Dean, or wouldn't at least come if Sam called. And I feel you, hun. I was still so mad about the ending that I wrote this story! 😂

I know it's a big chunk, but this part made me cry so hard. I felt his desperation, the way he clung to her. Begging her to stay with him. My heart broke and for a minute, I thought this is it. This is the end.

This was the "Darkest Hour" for sure. 😭 It was important to me to get this moment right -- getting into the depths of Dean as he wrestles with the idea of losing her, and realizing he's ready to let himself have the life he's secretly wanted for years.

And Jack realized that this is his family, and he should help them. 💓

I'm so sorry for this long rant. But this is me saying I love that Fanfictions exist truly. Because writers on our favorite TV SHOWS tend to fuck it up, and more often than not destroys our beloved characters. So, truly thank you for this story.

Please don't apologize! I absolutely love hearing all of your thoughts on this. And I feel the same way. This is why I still write fanfiction, because these characters and this world matters, and it sometimes allows us to have the catharsis we didn't get from the show. So thank YOU for reading this story. 🥰💕💕

I truly didn't expect this when I suggested the idea of Dean finding and dealing with our curvy latina getting pregnant, but I'm glad I got this wonderful piece. And yes, I hope you go back to them from time to time. Because I truly love them two.

Haha I did consider going more comedic with the idea, or making it a surprise to both of them, and having Dean finding out as the center of the angst (him possibly freaking out/not being ready). But when I considered "what would make Dean finally stop hunting," I thought them purposefully setting down to start a family after 15x20 might also be just as satisfying. 💗

Oh I'm sure I will come back to these two soon! I've already got requests on Ao3 to write more Dad!Dean to follow this story, so we'll see! 😂 Again, thanks so much for supporting this series and letting me know what you thought. 💜💜

Dream With Me - Part 3

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized!Reader (Latina)

Summary: When your asshole ex-boyfriend calls for help on a case, you have a tough decision to make. But Dean isn’t going to let you do anything alone. AKA: The last hunt you, Sam, and Dean will ever go on together.

AN: I decided to release Part 3 a bit earlier! Now, *deep breaths* here we go, friends…

(If you missed it: Read Part 1 || Read Part 2)

Word Count: 4.5K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, and a tinge of spice.~

☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist

Part 3: “What Is Deserved”

Dean’s heartbeat pounds in his ears.

By the time the four of you reach the Impala, you’re in a cold sweat, pale, and barely conscious. Dean unlocks the car and carefully seats you on one side of the backseat, while Sam hurries to the other side. He then helps guide you in as Dean maneuvers you into laying across the backseat. Sam’s going to stay with you for the ride to the hospital.

“Watch her head,” Dean warns, his tone sharp. 

“I got her,” Sam assures. He holds you securely against his chest, with your head tucked under his chin.

Dean lets out an unsteady breath. When he turns around, Carter’s standing too close, peering at you anxiously. 

“Get her to a hospital—” he starts to say, but Dean’s blood-stained fist cuts off his words, cracking against his jaw.

Dean put all his strength into that one.

Carter cries out and goes down hard into the earthy ground. He groans, huffing dead leaves out of his face as he tries to push himself back up. He hears the sound of a gun’s safety cocking back. He looks up sharply and finds the barrel of Dean’s silver Colt.

Carter freezes where he lies. He’s wary, but not surprised. He wipes a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth from where he bit the inside of his cheek.  

In that moment, Dean wrestles with a decision—with a desire that burns hot in his veins…but he knows you don’t have the time the spare, even for this.

“I’m gonna give you the biggest gift of your fucking life,” Dean growls. “Don’t let me see your face again, you hear me? Or it’s on sight.” 

His thumb moves the safety back into place, and he stows away the gun. He ignores the other man’s subtle breath of relief. In fact, Dean doesn’t glance back even once as he hastens to the driver’s seat of his car. 

The Impala speeds off, leaving Carter lying on a dusty ground in the middle of nowhere. 

Trees and asphalt pass in a blur as Dean speeds down the narrow road. He uses the GPS on his phone to find the nearest hospital, several miles away. 

Your skin is clammy. You realize it when you grab onto Sam’s arm that he has secured around you. You feel the cold sweat on your palm and between your fingers. Sam looks down at you while trying to hide his concern.

“Sam,” you whisper. It’s a struggle to get out the words, but you fight for them. “I know I don’t need to tell you to watch out for your brother, but…”

“Hey,” Sam says. His voice is just as quiet, so the rumble of the Impala hopefully masks it. He glances up and sees Dean’s determined face through the rearview mirror. His attention is on the road ahead.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Sam says to you, gently. “I know it hurts. Just hold on.”

You give a short nod, but tears still sting at your eyes. They wet your lashes and eventually slip down your cheeks. 

Your hand moves down to grab his.

“I love you,” you tell him.

Sam has become your brother too, in every way that counts. He knows it, just as he knows that you’re the sister he never thought he’d have. He squeezes your hand back and fights the emotions clogging his throat, making it tighten. 

“I love you too,” he says. “Just…just hold on.”

God knows you’re trying your best.

Getting you to the hospital is just the first challenge. 

Then it’s Dean having to let go of your hand, having to let the medical staff take you away from him on a gurney, rolling you down the hall and past a wall of doors he can’t follow. 

Dean stands in the middle of the Emergency Room hallway half-covered in your blood. He feels at a loss, in a way that reminds him of a day just like this. It reminds him of Lisa.

They were gunning for you. Of course, it’s your fucking fault.

Yeah, that’s familiar territory too. It reminds him of every reason he hesitated to start anything with you in the first place.

Dean’s jaw locks, teeth clenched, and there’s a well of unrest inside him that’s never going to be calm.

Then Sam is there at his side. He lays a supportive hand on Dean’s back and guides him towards the waiting room.

And it’s an incredible wait. 

Hours in the making, where Dean sits in an uncomfortable chair with a half-inch cushion after trying to clean himself up in the bathroom. He holds his head in his hands. 

He’s had more than a few what the fuck moments in his life, but this just doesn’t feel real. 

This time, there’s no Cas to swoop in and heal you. There’s no Rowena with a spell, and Jack…

Dean’s been praying ever since he carried you out of that barn, but Jack’s not answering. Dean frowns, and in his frustration, he grunts and pushes off his knees to stand. He begins to pace without truly realizing it. 

Sam watches his brother with both sympathy and pain. 

“They’re taking fucking forever,” Dean grouses. “We should’ve heard something by now. I’m gonna find somebody, get an update.”

Sam sighs. “Dean—”

But he knows it’s no use. He watches his brother go to flag down a nurse. She nods patiently, but Sam overhears her give Dean the same answer he heard the first two times he asked about you.

“The doctor will come down to update you once she’s out of surgery.” 

Dean’s frustration is visibly mounting when he paces back into the waiting room. Sam once again tries to give him a supportive word, but Dean just shakes his head and sinks heavily into the seat next to his brother.

He holds a fist over his mouth, for a long moment, just staring at a thin crack in the beige tile floor. Behind his eyes, the entire scene plays out again. Finding you in the barn, freeing you, thinking to himself that he could finally breathe, knowing he’d keep you safe. 

And then, the way you’d saved him, throwing yourself at that vampire. Dean fighting tooth and nail afterward, and still, finding you unable to raise yourself off the rusty metal blade lodged into your body. 

Dean’s face tightens grimly while he digs the heels of his hands into his eyes. Sam’s heavy grip falls on his shoulder, squeezing in silent support and commiseration. Dean can’t really allow himself to be comforted. All he feels is a deep pit of turmoil. And guilt. 

“She didn’t, uh…she didn’t want this,” Dean says. He looks down at his hands now hanging in his lap.

Sam tilts his head, taking in a deep breath. “Carter tricked her. He knew what would get her out here, and us.”

Dean shakes his head. “No. I mean she didn’t want to do this anymore.”

He meets his brother’s now confused gaze.

“She wants to quit the life,” Dean says. “Been talking about…retiring. The house, the white fence, a friggin’ yard for the dog, the…the 2.5 kids. Apple Pie Central.”

Sam raises his brows, especially at the mention of kids. His lips twitch at the thought. He realizes then that he wants that for his brother. Even though the look on Dean’s face has Sam dimming.

“What did you say to that?” Sam asks. 

Dean’s sigh is heavy. He rubs between his eyes, at the mounting ache there. 

“I’m the Job, Sam. Clearly I’m only good at one fucking thing, and it’s slicing throats,” he says. “I couldn’t even protect her. Not with Chuck. And not now.”

Sam’s brows draw together, disheartened.

“Dean…”

“It’s true, Sam,” Dean replies. “And I’ve tried. I’ve tried that retirement shit before. You remember what happened there, right?”

Sam’s lips purse, and he shakes his head.

“It’s different now. Chuck is gone, Dean. We made that happen—”

He’s using your argument without knowing, almost verbatim. Somehow, it twists the knife deeper into Dean’s heart.

“And what about the rest of the monsters, huh?” he says hotly. “Do we just take a sabbatical on all the evil sons of bitches still left out there?”

“We’re not the only two hunters in the world, Dean,” Sam replies. “There’s always going to be another hunt, and another hunter to take it on. If you wanted to get out, I would understand.”

Dean looks at his brother harder then. He knows that Sam has been seeing Eileen more seriously for the past couple of months. After a snap of Jack’s fingers brought the world back to equilibrium, the two had found one another again. 

Dean starts to wonder if Sam has started thinking thoughts of retirement too—of a life beyond hunting.

“But besides all that,” Sam continues. He grips Dean’s shoulder. “You really think hunting is all there is to you?”

Dean’s gaze falls, again down to his empty hands. By now, he’s scrubbed them clean of your blood until his skin felt raw. 

He doesn’t have an answer for Sam, but he’ll be damned if he loses you like this. 

Dean gets up abruptly, somewhat startling his brother. 

“Need some coffee,” he says. 

Dean leaves Sam in the waiting room to find a relatively quiet hallway. It’s late at night. He’s dirty as hell and hasn’t eaten or slept in damn near a day. He’s running on stubborn will and determination as his fists clench at his sides. He lifts his gaze heavenward.

All right, Jack. I know you’re hearin’ me. I need your half-angelic ass, right now. She needs you. So can you please just—

Suddenly, a nurse passing by him in the hall freezes where she stands. Dean jolts a bit, but when he turns his head, he finds Jack Kline standing there, in the same clothes he wore when he ascended into heaven. Some khakis, an off-white shirt, and a jacket Sam bought for him. 

“Hello, Dean,” Jack says, with a slight smile. 

Dean is relieved, but he’s also angry. “Damn it, man. What took you so long?”

“I’ve been…busy,” Jack says cryptically. 

Dean doesn’t really give two shits where the supercharged Nephilim has been.

“Okay, well, we need your help. She needs your help,” Dean says, pointing towards the doors that lead to the operating room. 

Jack nods, his eyes lowering.

“I know, Dean,” he says. “She’s in the veil right now.” 

Dean’s heart clenches. His entire body stills. 

“What?” he says.

Though he knows what Jack is saying. Dean’s been “in the veil” once or twice himself. It’s that in-between place. That limbo-like plane of existence for human souls, between life and the afterlife.

“Fix her,” Dean growls. “Fix her right now.”

“I can’t,” Jack says. He looks apologetic, even in conflict with himself. “I told you, I’m hands-off.”

“Hands-off, my ass!” Dean snaps. “You have all the power in the world, and no good reason not to help her!”

“Dean,” Jack tries, but the other man makes a cutting motion with his hand. He draws closer to Jack with intimidating steps, even though the Nephilim has no reason to fear him. 

“Before you were…this,” Dean says, gesturing at his “godly” form, “you were family. Part of our family. And family’s what matters. Matter of fact, she looked out for you, protected you, treated you like a little brother.”

Jack’s gaze falls toward his feet.

“After all we’ve been through, after what she’s been through, she don’t deserve this. Not from you,” Dean says. “Help her.”

When Jack looks up again, his face is still apologetic.

“Dean, it’s the natural order—”

“Screw the natural fucking order!” Dean shouts, pointing at Jack. “And screw you. Another dickless fucking coward trying to play God.”

Jack sighs. He turns, as if about to leave. It makes Dean realize, with a tremor of panic, that he’s about to lose maybe the only chance he has to save you. He rushes forward and grabs Jack’s arm over his jacket. 

“Hey, wait, wait. Look, Jack. Please,” he implores. He doesn’t realize that his eyes are red, and starting to shine. “Please. Come on, man. I won’t ask you for anything else as long as I live, and I’ll swear by that. But you’ve gotta save her.”

Jack gives Dean one last look of sadness. 

And he disappears. 

The world returns to full speed, with the nurse passing by Dean with a mere glance at him. He stares at her in disbelief. He realizes that he’s alone in the hallway. 

His fury grows, and it grows. It burns hot in his blood. 

It bubbles over and has him punching a hole straight into the wall, white paint and plaster giving way. He yanks out his aching hand and storms back towards the waiting room. 

There, he finds Sam standing with a doctor, who wears a look that tells Dean to brace himself. 

Dean stares at your face. It’s still much paler than usual. You lie in a hospital bed heavily sedated, where you’re hooked to an IV and a couple of different monitors. The right side of your neck is heavily bandaged, and the blankets (and your hospital gown) cover the many stitches and bandages that span your right side. 

“We’ve given her several liters of blood,” the doctor had said. “I’m going to be honest with you, we nearly lost her on the table, twice. She’s in a very delicate state, but we will monitor her for the next few days. If she gets through tonight, we’ll know if she’s still able to fight.”

Dean doesn’t even dare sit on the edge of your bed. Instead, he dragged a chair over to sit beside you. He’s gone from holding your hand gently, to just sitting in silence with the tumultuous darkness of his inner world. 

Sam sits in the slightly more comfortable recliner seat in the corner. He flips through one of Rowena’s books in search of something that can help you, but he’s scanned the same page several times now. Neither of them has said a word for two hours. 

“You hungry?” Sam asks. 

Dean shakes his head. “No.”

Sam isn’t either. In fact, he’s been battling nausea all night. He just doesn’t know what else to do, for you, or his brother.

“She doesn’t deserve this,” Dean says. It echoes the words he said to Jack. This time, they’re less heated, but no less filled with conviction.

Sam looks up from the book he’s not reading. Dean doesn’t look his way, but he knows he has his brother’s attention. Dean’s curled fist covers his mouth.

“She wanted out, and I said no,” he says.

Sam frowns, disheartened. “There’s…there’s still time, Dean.”

“She wants…kids,” Dean continues, almost as if Sam had never spoken. “She wants a family. Maybe to be the mom she didn’t get to have anywhere near long enough.”

Dean has always been able to relate to you there. He remembers the way you’ve talked about your mom, often with a lot of melancholy. But only now does he think he see the reasons why you want more. Only now does he realize what you were really asking from him when you talked about quitting the life.

“Yeah, she’d be a good mom,” Sam says, his lips almost forming a smile. Dean nods, but doesn’t reply. He’s thinking too much.

“And you, uh…you’d be a good dad,” Sam adds. He manages to smile at the thought. “You did it once for me. You can do it again.”

Dean tilts his head at that in consideration. It’s not that he doesn’t like kids. He does, and deep down, he’s always wanted the same things you do. This life had just pushed him to a point where he stopped allowing himself to dream.

Dean takes in a deep breath and tries to rub the exhaustion from his face. These thoughts don’t help him right now. They only torture him more.

An alarm suddenly trills, startling both Sam and Dean as their heads perk up. They scan your heart monitor, and it looks to be flagging from red to blue as the numbers fall lower and lower.   

Dean calls your name, but his movements are frantic in pressing the alarm button to call the nurses. Sam runs out of the room to actually find someone. Dean hears his voice shouting down the hall, but he’s too preoccupied with gripping your hand tight.

“Come on, baby. Fight,” he grits out. “I know you can beat this.”

His panic grows as he watches your heart rate fall lower, and lower. Tears finally sting at his eyes. His lips tremble. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Stay with me,” he says, rubbing your hand between both of his. He lowers down to rest a hand on your head, and he presses a kiss above your brow. “We’ll do it all, you understand me. I’ll build the damn cabin myself if I have to. Three bedrooms. Hell, make it five. We’ll get so damn busy, you’re gonna get sick of me.”

And if you were awake, you’d know exactly what kind of busy he’s talking about. You know him so well. Besides Sam, there’s no one else in the world left to know him like you do.

And your voice, your touch, the way you make him coffee with a double hit of espresso, the way you cook for him and Sam because you love to feed them. The way that, even when you’re fighting with Dean, frustrating him beyond belief, you never stop protecting him, as much as he tries to do for you.

You’re his, in every way. It scares him like hell, what he might become without you.

“Come on,” Dean begs, this time squeezing your hand. “Come on…”

Sam rushes back into the room. Footsteps are following him down the hall. 

And then, everything stops. 

Everything, except for Sam and Dean. 

Your monitors stop beeping out of control, freezing your heart rate where it sits far below where it should. 

When Dean looks up in teary confusion, Jack stands on the other side of your bed. He gives Dean a gentle smile. 

“You were right,” he says. “Family is what’s most important.”

Jack reaches out and gently touches your forehead. In a mere moment, you take in a deeper, more natural breath. Your eyes slide open and find Jack. It confuses you. Your mouth opens to say his name, but Dean squeezing your hand draws your attention. Your gaze softens.

“Dean?” you say.

He’s able to smile, even though his eyes are red, and a tear draws down his cheek. He hastens to wipe it away.

“Hey, baby,” he says. “How do you feel?”

Your brows furrow as you contemplate his question. “Fine, I…”

You remember then that you shouldn’t feel fine. You look up at Jack again, and as your memory of yesterday slowly returns to you, you realize then what he’s done. He hears the words you hold inside before you can say them out loud. He smiles.

You’re welcome, he replies in your mind. Then he gives Sam and Dean one last warm look. 

“Take care of each other,” Jack says. Then he disappears, without even a flash of light. He’s just gone. 

The world once again kicks into high gear. You’re forced to pretend to be asleep when two nurses flood into your room. Sam and Dean apologize for a false alarm when they see that your heart monitor and your other vitals are steady, and even stronger than before.  

When the nurses leave, you’re able to open your eyes and sit up normally. Sam comes to sit on your other side, and you reach for his hand while offering him a smile. Dean brushes your hair back to gently peel away the bandage on your neck.

Your skin is smooth underneath. Dean helps you do the same for the wrapping around your waist, after you peel back the covers and raise a corner of your hospital gown for him to see. Your wounds are completely gone. 

Dean huffs a breath of relief, his brows drawing together. You hold your hand to his cheek and give him a softer smile.

“I’m okay,” you promise him.

You wipe under his eye, where the tracks of his distress have remained. Dean wastes no more time. He gathers you into his arms and bows to claim your lips. You give him the comfort he needs, while melting into him with the same passion.

When he pulls away though, he has to wipe the tears from your eyes. The back of his hand brushes down your cheek.

“You scared the shit outta me,” he says.

You manage to stifle a laugh, but not your smile. “My bad.”

He steals another kiss, a bit softer this time.

“I love you,” he says. His voice is gruff, but no less genuine.

You let out a sigh, while more tears brim in your eyes.

“I love you too,” you nod.

While you soothe him with your fingers slipping through his hair, his lips press into your shoulder. He meets Sam’s teary smile with one of his own. 

You’re staying with him. That’s all that matters.

Six months later, the bedroom you once shared with Dean in the bunker is nearly empty. All that’s left are the nightstands, the old metal bed frame, and a bare mattress. Everything else is coming with you into the new place—a cabin-style house you and Dean found together in Lawrence.

Sam and Eileen have their own little place in the city as well, just a couple miles away.

It’s bittersweet to see this room in the bunker stripped bare, but you still smile as you survey it all with your arms crossed. 

Dean’s hands startle you when they smooth around the curve of your waist from behind. You jump a little, but you smile when he kisses your neck.  

“Reminiscing?” he asks, his eyes dancing. “Some damn good times here. Some damn good magic.”

You laugh at how he uses your words (and playfully slaps your ass), but you have to agree. You turn your head to kiss his cheek. 

“Just thinking about how we’re gonna make some more magic in the new place,” you tease. “We won’t have a sink in the bedroom anymore though.”

Dean nods at that, holding you more securely against his chest. 

“True. So convenient,” he says ruefully. 

You stroke his arms wrapped around you. You begin to tingle with nerves inside as an idea strikes you. It’s the perfect time… 

“I need to have a discussion with you,” you say. Dean’s smile grows against your neck. 

“A discussion, huh? Sounds serious,” he says. 

“It is,” you say. Though part of you is playful, you really are serious. You turn in his arms so he can see the gravity of your gaze.

Dean tilts his head, sensing your shift. 

“Hmm, okay,” he says.

You untangle yourself from his arms so you can lead him over to the bare mattress, where you sit him down. His hands slide down to your jean-clad thighs while yours fall on his shoulders. 

“Wait here,” you say. 

Dean quirks a brow, but he lets you walk away, over to your empty nightstand. You pull out something wrapped in tissue paper. 

You unwrap it and hold it up for his view. 

Dean’s eyes widen when he sees those two pink lines. He takes the little white stick from you and looks up at your face in pure shock and awe. 

“Holy shit,” he utters, making you laugh. He sets the little test aside so he can quickly grab your waist, once again pulling you in close. “You sure?”

“I’ve done it three times. I’m fairly certain,” you say with a smile. One that shines brighter with your burgeoning tears. You frame his face with your hands. “We did it, baby.”

After just about three months of trying, you’re already pregnant.

That reality sinks into Dean as he falls deeper into shock. You start to frown at his silence though. Your thumbs brush his stubbled cheeks.

“You’re, um…you’re happy, right?” you ask.

His gaze flicks up to yours. Seeing the uncertainty there breaks him out of his shock. His expression eases with a smile. He tugs you even closer by your hips, and he presses a kiss above your navel, over your shirt.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I am,” he replies, even as his deep voice breaks slightly on the last word.

Your smile grows, and you bend down for a searing kiss that Dean matches with all the emotions coursing through him; excitement, a tremor of anxiety, but mostly love. It’s nearly overwhelming in his chest, because he never thought he’d get to have this.

He’s damn grateful it’s with you.

He grips you tighter on reflex, and he brings you down onto the mattress so he can roll on top. He smirks in light of your giggling, brushing your hair out of your eyes and caressing your cheek.

He captures your lips for another heated kiss, one that grows into another, and a few more for good measure. Your hands slip down his back to squeeze his ass for once. His growing length finds friction through his jeans and between your legs, making him groan.

“How about we make sure it sticks,” he suggests between kisses. He trails them hot and wet down your neck. 

“I don’t think it works like that,” you breathe, though you smile as you slip your fingers through his hair. Dean smirks against your skin.

“Huh. Worth a shot, right?” he quips. He curls one of your thick thighs over his hip and rocks into you just enough to start driving you crazy. Already you feel his clothed erection pressing against your center. Your core begins to pulse in response, needing him.

You shove the layer of plaid off his shoulders, and he helps you with the undershirt as well. He starts to divest you of your layers, down to your bra, where he kisses a familiar path down between your breasts.

Just for a moment though, you hold his face and make sure he’s paying attention, despite your panting breaths mingling with his. 

“Thank you,” you say. “I didn’t think I would ever get to…”

Tears well up in your eyes again, and this time, Dean catches them when they fall. He shakes his head and brushes them away with his thumb. 

“That’s my line, baby,” he says. “Whatever’s up next, this is it. It’s you and me.”

He takes your left hand, which already holds the weight of a silver ring. His own holds one to match. You’re now officially his in every way.

Your smile already agrees with what he said.

It’s you and me.

But you also nod and guide his hand down to your belly. 

“Yeah,” you say. “It’s us.”

Dean hums in approval at that. A softer smile takes over his features, before he lowers down to your lips, so he can finish what he started.

You and Dean still don’t have all of the “retirement plan” mapped out just yet, but for now, this is a damn good start.

AN: I promised a happy ending, and this is the happiest I could think of! 💗 Hopefully this provides a smoother transition to the story In Bad Weather, though I'll never say no to coming back to these two. 😘

Let me know what you thought of this little ride in the Midnight Espresso-verse!~ ☕

Read From the Beginning:

Want to go back to the beginning of this series? Start with “Midnight Espresso”:

Summary: You’ve never taken Dean’s flirting seriously…until he asks you for an impromptu Spanish lesson.

▶️ First Story: Midnight Espresso

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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@chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords

[jeyramarie]

You and me?- Alice Chambers x Reader (Part 4)

summary: dinner with the Chamber’s in quite... interesting. 

wc: 2,559

warnings: cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of sex, angst

a/n: i am so excited for this part y’all, just wait for what’s to come🥲 i hope you all enjoy! lmk if you wanna be tagged, feedback is appreciated and happy reading 🦋

Part 1~ Part 2~ Part 3~

“Um.. there’s just something going on-“ I began and got interrupted by the door bursting open. 

“Alice?!” Bunny shouted, walking into the room to look at us in question. 

I didn’t blame her. We did look suspicious. I was only wrapped in my towel, my hair dripping wet and Alice was very close to me, holding my hands. It seemed like she had interrupted something… personal. 

“Was I interrupting something important?” 

“No, no, it’s alright.” I replied quickly, staring at the ground. “I was just telling Alice that William wants her and Jack to come over tonight.” The blonde looked at me, silently asking if it was true and I nodded. “He wants to catch up with his old friend.” 

“Exactly.” Alice chuckled nervously. “What dessert should I bring? Maybe some pie or a peach cobbler?” 

“They both sound delightful.” I smiled, tightening my grip on her hand. “Bring whichever you’d like, I’ll see you both tonight?” 

“Of course, we will be there.” Alice nodded and gave me a soft smile before releasing my hand. 

“Alright, well I’ll see you tonight and Bunny, I'll see you around.” I said and walked back into the shower, turning on the faucet to hear the sound of heels walking out. 

I let out a breath and stuck my head under the warm water once more before finishing up quickly. Luckily, the trolley was there when I walked out and none of the girls were on it. Which gave me a moment of silence, to think. To think about how I was going to tell Alice. To think about every possible way she would react. To think about whether she experienced it as well or if she didn’t, I was going to look like a psychopath. 

When I arrived home, no one was outside. Usually Bunny would be playing with her kids and Violet would be watering her plants. That wasn’t the case today. Perhaps I had made them so uncomfortable with my comment, that they didn’t even want to recognize that I was home. I walked inside and quickly changed into a bright pink dress with my black heels to get started on dinner. 

After a few hours, the table was finally set with four places. William arrived and I greeted him at the door with a glass of scotch. He kissed me for a bit but it was all cut short when the doorbell rang, meaning that Jack and Alice were finally here. 

“Make a drink for Jack.” I said and tapped William’s chest before running to the door. 

Immediately, I stopped and smoothed out my skirt, then tucked a few stray hairs before finally turning the doorknob. There they were. Jack smiled and walked inside, going straight to William as Alice stood there staring at me. Her smile faltered, it seemed like she was looking past me. I turned around and saw that the boys weren’t there so I turned back to stare at her. 

“Alice?” I asked in worry, walking closer to her with my hand on the door. “Alice?!” I asked again, raising my voice a bit making her blink rapidly as she looked around in confusion. “Are you alright?” 

“Oh, yes, yes.” She nodded as she chuckled nervously. “My apologies. We should go inside.” She said and walked past me as I stood there in worry. 

I closed the door and walked into the kitchen to see Alice placing the pie on the counter. The boys talked about Bill and Dean as they laughed loudly. I fidgeted with my fingers and turned to them, giving them a fake smile. 

“Shall we start?” I asked and turned to Alice to see her nod. 

“We should, I’m starving.” William chuckled, padding his stomach before walking towards the table. 

Jack followed him and stopped to extend his hand for Alice to grab. He lifted her hand and kissed the top before walking over to the table to pull out her chair. William sat down at the head of the table, completely focusing on the food and the drink in his hand.  

I pulled out my chair and sat down before pushing it forward to be closer to the table. We all waited until Jack sat down to begin. I grabbed the wine bottle and poured some in my glass, feeling the need for alcohol to flow in my system. 

“Would you like some wine, Alice?” I asked the blonde and she nodded, making me pour some into her glass as well. 

We passed the bowls around the table, creating small talk and making jokes as we ate. Sometime during the night, the boys ignored Alice and I completely. They spoke about Jack’s possible promotion and the ring he would receive while Alice and I just drank the last bit of the wine. 

“Are you boys ready for dessert?” I asked with a wide smile, placing down my glass before turning to Alice. 

“What’s for dessert, honey?” William smirked. 

“Alice brought over some pie.” 

“Best pie you’ll ever eat, trust me.” Jack chuckled, leaning back on his chair as he looked at William. 

“I’ll bring it out, then.” I chuckled, pushing my chair back to stand up. “Would you mind helping with the plates, Alice?” 

“Oh, of course not.” She replied, placing her glass down before standing up. “We’ll be back boys.” 

She walked into the kitchen, causing me to look up to meet her eyes. I moved from the sink, across the kitchen to take out four small plates from the cabinet. 

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked, closing the cabinet. 

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” Alice shrugged. 

“You seemed distracted earlier.” I said, walking towards her with the plates. “At the door when you arrived.” 

“Oh, that was nothing.” She shook her head, staring at her hands. “I was just a bit lightheaded.” 

“Lightheaded… right.” I mumbled walking towards the sink to grab a knife from the drawer before turning to her again. “Are you seeing things… by any chance?” 

“What?” Alice asked, finally staring at me. 

“Like visions, Alice.” I said sternly, leaning against the counter. “Do you see Jack differently sometimes? Like you’re somewhere else?” 

“You’ve been seeing things too?” She whispered, walking closer to me in a hurry as I nodded. “What things?” 

“I don’t know but…” I shook my head, taking a deep breath. “I see you differently and William too, like we’re somewhere else, I don’t know.” 

“Like they’re memories..” Alice muttered with a frown. 

“Exactly.” I nodded, staring at her eyes in disbelief. “Have you had nightmares?” 

“Yes.. many.” She nodded and sighed. “I told Jack about it.” 

“What did he say?” 

“He completely ignored me.” The blonde shook her head. “Just dodged the question.” 

“I haven’t told William.” I shrugged. “I don’t trust him that much.” 

“You shouldn’t but I’m glad you told me.” Alice muttered, grabbing my hands. “I was dying to tell someone.” 

“Me too. I was going to tell you today but Bunny came in and I don’t know-“ 

“Is everything alright in there?!” William shouted from the dining room. 

“Yes!” I shouted back, quickly gathering the spoons. “Just couldn’t find the dessert plates!” 

I handed Alice the plates and the cutlery before grabbing the pie to walk out of the kitchen. The boys leaned forward as I placed the pie between them, waiting for Alice to come over with the plates. She placed the plates in front of the boys and I cut out two pieces before moving to the side of the table to cut some for Alice and I. 

The boys continued to speak about whatever it was they were talking about while Alice played with her dessert. I took a few bites immediately agreeing that it was the best pie I’ve ever had. 

“Honey?” William said, interrupting my thoughts. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m going to take Jack to the living room.” He replied, standing up from his chair. “Show him that new whiskey we bought.” 

“Of course.” I nodded with a smile. “Go have fun. Alice and I will handle the dishes.” 

They stood up, leaving the blonde and I alone, finally. I stood up and walked around the table, silently grabbing every plate and cutlery before moving to the kitchen. Alice walked in behind me in silence and leaned against the counter as she finished her glass of wine. I didn’t know it yet but Alice was beginning to remember me. She stared at me as I placed the dishes in the sink, watching as my hands moved around the fine china. 

“What else do you remember?” I asked, never parting my eyes from my soapy hands. 

“It’s just bits and pieces.” She replied, walking to stand next to me. “I’m not quite sure.” 

“I had a nightmare the other night.” I started closing the faucet. “I’m not sure if it was a memory or just a dream… but it felt real… very real.” 

“What should we do?” 

“We should leave our houses.” I turned to her. “Maybe being inside for so long has caused us to think this way.” 

“No, Y/n, no.” Alice shook her head, putting down her wine glass. “Don’t do this. You can’t just ignore it.” 

“I’m not, Alice, I’m just-“ I raised my voice and stopped to take a deep breath. “I’m trying to push it aside.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t like what I see, Alice.” I whispered. “I don’t like how my life looks and I don’t want to ruin this for William, his job is on the line.” 

“The promotion?” She asked in disbelief. “That’s what you’re worried about?” 

I sighed and placed the palm of my hands over my forehead, slowly sliding down against the counter. My knees were up to my chest and I stayed there, taking deep breaths as Alice got to her knees next to me. She grabbed my hand, making me look at her and my mind went into the familiar fuzz.  

Alice was in front of me with her hair up and what seemed like a blue shirt under her jacket. The place looked different. It was a bit dark and there was a counter beside us with bottles cluttering it. We both leaned in, as if we were going to kiss and right when I felt the slight touch of her lips, I came back. 

She was still beside me, rubbing her thumb over my hand. My eyes drifted to my lap, then to the ceiling as I took a deep breath. 

“You wanna take a ride on the trolley tomorrow?” I whispered, turning my head to her to see her nod with a small smile. 

“Sure.” Alice whispered and cupped my cheek, making the fuzz slightly come back. “It will be good for us to go on a relaxing joyride.” 

“Yeah, it will.” I replied, resting my head against the cabinet. 

The next morning, William and I discussed the rumors surrounding Margaret and Ted. He said that she was going crazy, that she sounded insane. But that’s exactly how I thought. That’s exactly how I felt, insane. After listening to his responses, I was certain I was not going to tell him. At least not now. 

Alice knocked on my door around lunch time. She was wearing a black dress with black flats and her sunglasses. Her smile was small but welcoming. It made my chest tight, I’m not really sure why. I wore a navy blue dress with black flats. My hair was pinned back, keeping in mind that it would be incredibly hot outside. 

“Are you ready?” The blonde asked, walking beside me as we made our way to the trolley stop. 

“I suppose I am.” I shrugged. “I just want a relaxing day for once.” 

We arrived at the stop just in time. The trolley was pulling up and I climbed on, luckily finding a seat in the middle. Alice automatically sat next to me and the trolley began to move. We stayed quiet the whole time and just stared. Stared at the women getting on and off. 

“No shopping day, today?” the driver asked us, causing me to look up at him through the rearview mirror. I was about to answer when Alice spoke. 

“Excuse me?” She asked. 

“I said ‘No shopping day, today?’” He repeated. 

“Oh, no.” Alice replied with a small chuckle. “We’re just enjoying the ride today.” 

“This was the last stop so I’ll circle back to town.” 

“Oh, that’s alright.” I smiled at him and turned to the window to see a red plane. 

After removing my sunglasses, I squinted my eyes, noticing that it was beginning to fly over us. I moved from my seat, to the one on the other side, trying to get a closer look. 

“Oh my god.” I muttered in surprise, making Alice look as well. 

“What the hell?’ She exclaimed, taking off her sunglasses as well. 

The plane began to fall and I stood up, running to the other side of the trolley as Alice spoke to the driver. I couldn’t take my eyes off the plane and the voices behind me became muffled as a high pitching sound filled my ears. 

“No.. oh my god! Oh my god!” I shouted, getting out of my chair. “Stop! Stop! Stop!” 

The trolley came to a stop and ran towards the front with Alice trailing behind me. He looked at me weird as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. 

“That plane just crashed!” I said hysterically. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, squinting his eyes. 

“Of course, I’m sure.” I replied, staring in disbelief. “I just saw it!”

“You need to drive up there, it just crashed, we can show you where it is!” Alice added. 

“No, um.. I don’t go that way.” He said with a straight face. 

“What?” I asked in disbelief. 

“I don’t go that way.” He shook his head. “We have to stay here, where it’s safe.” 

“I- oh my god.” Alice spoke and stared at the ground with a scoff. “We can’t go out there alone.” 

“That’s not my route, I can’t.” The driver spat and turned in his seat. 

“What if they need help?” I questioned, placing my hands on my hips. 

He stayed with his back towards us, not uttering a word. Alice tried to get his attention, but nothing worked. I scoffed and walked towards our seats, grabbing our purses before walking to the blonde. 

“You’re unbelievable.” I muttered and handed Alice her purse before stepping out of the trolley, beginning to walk towards headquarters. 

None of the wives have ever gone up there. None of us have ever gone past the entrance of Victory. It was “off limits” and only the men could cross. They crossed to get to work. They crossed to go to headquarters with Frank, their boss and the creator of the Victory project. 

Alice caught up to me as we kept on walking under the sizzling summer sun surrounded by nothing but dirt. We were in the middle of nowhere. No person or car ever came into sight. I think we were walking for about 2 hours before we even reached the road that led to headquarters. Alice and I remained quiet, drowning in our thoughts until we realized that we were almost at the top and headquarters was right in front of us. 

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[luxshine]

“Yo  a ti, Cas” Or how mexican dubbing gripped us tight and raised us from Despair.

Ok. So I promised a big meta about the dubbing thing and so while I don’t have all the answers YET, here’s a bit of perspective on the differences between Despair and The Truth.

  First, a little background. I am a former professional dubbing translator. While I worked on anime series from Japanese to Spanish, rather than in live action ones from English to Spanish, the process is not that different. Also, I worked in Mexico, where Supernatural is dubbed, so that’s why I can make the assumptions I make. Finally, my specialization in college was translation from English to Spanish, so I guess I know what the hell I’m talking about.

  So let’s start on HOW you translate something for a dub. Back in the day, you got a ton of VHS tapes with the episodes on them with time codes, and, if you were lucky, a shooting script. This is to say, it was not a transcript of the actual words said in the episode, but the script BEFORE the actors, directors, and everyone else had a hand on what was said and changed. And thus, anything adlibbed? Is not going to be in that script which, at least for the anime side of things? Was a nightmare as the script was usually “And here X actor can say whatever they want” and I had to go and listen to the scene ten thousand times. Now a days, you get either a video file or a streaming link, and sometimes, the shooting script. If you get a script, btw, you can also not get a script in the original language. I know that the person who had to translate Sprited Away to Spanish was working off a German script, not the Japanese one. So yeah, some things can be lost in translation there.

  THEN you get to translate. BUT you can’t just translate word by word. You have to adapt it so that it will sound like something a person will say, and sometimes, literally is not the way to do it. And in particular, Mexican dubbing has a reputation to uphold as the “Neutral” dub that is send to most Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America, so we can’t use certain words (I don’t have the list at hand, but I remember that I couldn’t use “Llanta” for Tire, and so I had to use “Neumatico”. And no “sweaters” or “hotcakes” or stuff like that), AND we have to match the lips of the original video. Which is like, the worst nightmare ever because of what we call “labiales”, that is to say, the letters where lips close.

  I can’t tell you how much we all loved when a character gave a long winded speech with their back to the camera due to those damned closed lip letters.

  All this is to say that sometimes, the line could be “We are all in this together for good or bad”, and the translation become something more like “Estamos en esto, por las buenas o las malas” (We’re on this, the good way or the bad way) or “Estamos juntos en las buenas y en las malas” (We’re together in the good and the bad), depending on the translator, dub director, and voice actor.

  Depending on the client, that is, the original owner of the series, sometimes they will review the translation once it’s all dubbed and edited. I know that in the Avengers movie, a Disney rep was present on the cabin and forbade any changes from the script, which resulted on a couple of awkward lines in the end result. I don’t know if that’s the case for Supernatural, but I honestly doubt it. Still, translators can’t make huge changes for the dialogue. One couldn’t just ADD a relationship that wasn’t there, no matter what.

  (As an aside, due to the very conservative mindset of some tv stations, it’s more common that gay relationships become more ambiguous, by changing “I love you” to “Te quiero” which can be more of a filial love than a romantic one. And well, that one case in Sailor Moon where a gay character was changed into a woman because the dub director honestly thought the character was a woman. But that was in the nineties)

  Now, let’s go to how Castiel’s speech was translated.

  The original, according to Superwiki, went like this:

  Castiel:  You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye? Castiel: Because it is. I love you. Dean: Don't do this, Cas. Cas.

  And the translation, as it was aired, went like this (And people, you have no idea the war flashbacks transcribing this gave me, so I hope you appreciate it):

  Castiel: Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra. Un hombre sin egoismo; el hombre mas generoso que haya visto, y que jamas vere. Sabes que desde que nos conocimos y desde que te saque del infierno, el conocerte me ha cambiado. Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo. Y fue por ti. Tu me cambiaste, Dean.

  Dean: Porque suena esto a despedida?

  Castiel: Porque asi fue. Te amo.

  Dean: Yo a ti, Cas. (The empty appears and Billie opens the door) Cas…

  Castiel: Adios Dean

  Dean: No!

  Ok. So… At first glance, they’re pretty much the same until we get to the I love you. BUT let’s dissect it a little bit.

  Cas begins with a “Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra” which is not how I would’ve translated “The most caring man on Earth” since “caring” is more like “Cariñoso” rather than “amoroso” which would be “loving”, and yes, there’s a difference. Plus, “el hombre mas amoroso” sounds a bit clunky, so Personally, I’d have gone with “Eres el hombre mas cariñoso en la Tierra”, that would’ve given us more time for the rest of the speech, but I wonder if the translator choice for Amoroso instead was more due to the fact that “amor” (love) is more clearly romantic than “care” (cariño, in a sense, more on this later) and so it foreshadows the end.

  Again, with the literal clunkyness we have “Un hombre sin egoismo” (A man without egoism) which sounds weird no matter what language you speak, and it should’ve been “Un hombre dadivoso” (A giving man) or “un hombre desinteresado” (a selfless man) although the second could be mis-construed as “a man without interests” so “dadivoso” would’ve better. But the more puzzling is that the Spanish separates the selfless man from the next, which is REALLY confusing as the English is “the most loving man”, which would be “el hombre mas amoroso” making it quite redundant, so the Spanish changes it to “the most generous man”, “el hombre mas generoso”. To add to this, Cas continues with “that I have seen and I will ever see” instead of “That I know”, because it’s far more poetic. And loving.

  So yeah, Mexican Cas is basically saying that Dean Winchester is made of love and puppies.

  Ahem.

  The next part “You know, ever since I pulled you out of hell, you’ve changed me” is more or less word for word, and the only thing that changes is that the English sounds more like a question and the Spanish one is an affirmation. YOU KNOW that ever since I pulled you out of hell, you changed me.” Little verb tense play, that doesn't change much except Cas’s resolution to say what he has to say.

  And then we get to the part that made me squeal out loud. Because we go from

  “Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you”

  To

  “Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo.” Which at first glance is the same, but NOPE.

  First change: The original is in past tense “I cared”. Spanish version is in present tense: “I care”.

Which is a little non important thing except when you remember that simple present means “immutable absolute truth that won’t change with time”

  Second, the choice of word for care.

  I mentioned before that Care can be Cariño, as in filial, non romantic love (Or romantic love pet name, as it can also be Darling. It’s one of THOSE words). Other translations for care include “cuidado” (as in attention, concern, keeping, and worry), and of course “interesarse” (Which also can be care), “preocuparse” (care, bother, trouble, mind, fuss), and yes, “importar” but “importar” ONLY translates to English as a verb as “import”, “matter” “amount to” and notice how none of those words include “love”.

  Mexican Cas is not saying “you love the world, and so I do”. Mexican Cas is saying “The world matters to you, and thus it matters to me, but my feelings for the World (and Sam, and Jack) are not in the same league as my feelings for you.”

  And then Dean asks “Why does this sound like a Goodbye”, just like in English, in present tense…

  And Mexican Cas replies in PAST tense. “Porque asi fue”. And THIS is important because it means that everything he said before WAS the goodbye, and not what comes next. All the rest? Is in the past. “Because it was”. Not “Because it IS”. And the next part? Is their future.

  I love you.

  Te amo.

  Simple present. No ambiguity like “te quiero”. Spanish Te amo is for romantic love. Not brotherly, not family, not bro-mantic. ROMANTIC.

  It’s like “I’m IN love with you” (Although that’d be “Estoy enamorado de ti” and I doubt that would’ve fit in the time Misha spoke)

  And of course, the answer. “Yo a ti, Cas”. Not “And I, you” as I’ve seen it before (And I also thought it was, until transcribing the scene) but a simple “I, you, Cas.” Which ok, pretty cave-speak, but the meaning is pretty clear. Dean Winchester loves his gay angel.

  It is also telling that the empty doesn’t appear until AFTER Dean confessed, so no, Mexican Cas is not “happy with the saying”, he had to get to the “happy with the having”.

  And when Billy appears, it does seem as if he wants to say something more, but Cas is a love-sick selfsacrificing dumbass and so we all get our hearts broken.

I did get in contact with Dean Winchester’s mexican voice actor, and am waiting for answers to a small interview I did with him which includes the question “did that And I you, Cas” was in the script, and am trying to contact Castiel’s mexican voice actor. So I will be updating you on that. But I hope this clears up some of the questions about how Mexican dubbing made Destiel Canon :D

[pearlycastiel]

𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥.

description || you’re in trouble and when you pray to your boyfriend jack, he doesn’t hesitate to help you.

pairing || jack kline x fem!reader, dean winchester x daughter!reader, sam winchester x niece!reader, castiel x platonic!reader

warnings || angst, partying, alcohol, fluff at ending

word count || 1,458

a/n || literally had this idea at 3 am haha. feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

HIGH SCHOOL WAS something for you and it was definitely something when your family are supernatural hunters. Being Dean Winchester's daughter meant having the best protection from an angel, a nephilim, and of course, your father and uncle.

When you first met Jack, you felt a feeling that you have never felt with anyone else. At first, you thought it was anxiety or fear from the fact that Jack was Lucifer's son, but soon enough, it was something good.

The hints that you've noticed from Jack such as him being close to you at all times, or him smiling brightly when you would walk into his room, hinted clearly how Jack had some sort of attraction to you as well.

Soon enough, when Jack finally got the gist of how human feelings worked, he confessed how he couldn't stand a life without you. He would gush about how important you were to him and how he wanted to protect you at all costs. That was the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

And you proudly said yes.

This brings you to this day, where school was more bearable with your slightly reconstructed life. When you started to date Jack, life became somewhat more admissable as you had something to look forward to when you came home.

You were currently coming out of soccer practice and one of your decent acquaintances walked up to you.

"Hey, Y/n. Are you free tonight? I'm having this big party and you should definitely come." Lexi was a really sweet person and you knew her parties were fun. You thought about it for a while considering how overprotective your family is. But you said yes anyway, wanting to have a fun time.

"Sure, I'll see you tonight."

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Back at the bunker, you gave your family a dramatic entrance as you started to sing aloud abruptly, definitely gaining the attention of the boys.

Jack was the first one to greet you and he gave you one of his heartwarming hugs and a small kiss on your cheek.

"Hi Y/n, how was school today? I also made your favorite because I know you had a long day at today." You stared at Jack in awe, finding it sweet how he would make you a grilled cheese when you came home from school.

"Thanks, Jack. What would I do without you?"

"I should be the one asking you that. You mean a lot to me, Y/n." A smile crept upon your lips and you were about to kiss Jack until you heard the booming voice of your father.

"Hey! Six feet apart kids," Dean said, getting in between you and Jack, him spreading his arms out, pretending to stretch.

"So funny, dad," you said sarcastically. You weren't too certain when you should ask your father if you could go to the party, but you didn't have to ask when he saw the look on your face.

"I know that look, what's up?" Surprised by his diligent attention, you shot your head up slightly caught off guard.

"Oh, well...what makes you think there's something up?"

"Whenever you're nervous, you always fidget with your charm bracelet." You silently cursed to yourself, seeing how you gave away the hint of wanting something. Sighing in defeat, you decided to tell Dean about the party.

"So I got invited to this party and I was won--"

Before you could even finish your sentence, Dean cut you off abruptly, knowing where this was going to go.

"No. Nope. Nope, definitely not. You're not going to a party and that's final." Dean's voice made it clear he was serious, but you being the stubborn person you were, insisted.

"Dad, come on, it's going to be fun, plus you know I'm responsible enough." Dean consistently shook his head, not comfortable with you going to a party.

"I know you're responsible enough, I don't trust the people there. Who knows who a person can be what? I'm done talking about this, you're not going and I made my decision."

You huffed out in annoyance, knowing you weren't going to win this argument, so you stomped back into your room, Jack following your trail. Now you were on to plan b which was sneaking out.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

You hated how you had to lie to Jack, but you knew he wouldn't let you out either, seeing how often he worries about you as well.

The last time you went out when you weren't supposed to, Jack put two fingers on your forehead and knocked you out. So you knew this time wouldn't be any different.

Being as discreet as you possibly could, you slowly escaped the bunker doors and proceeded to walk towards Lexi's house. Luckily, her house wasn't too far from yours.

Once you arrived, lights and music boomed through the doors. Lexi greeted you as she was drunk and you smiled at her seeing her true side.

You gulped down a couple of shots and stood against the wall, taking in the vibes of drunk teenagers. Suddenly a man came up towards you, a sly and douchey smirk plastered on his face.

"Hey, hottie, what's a gorgeous woman like you doing all alone? And a better question, why are you not with me?" You rolled your eyes at him and attempted to walk away, but he grabbed your wrist tightly.

"I didn't say you could walk away, baby." He started to walk closer towards your body, your personal space definitely invaded. Now you were done. You put your drink down and grabbed his wrist, twisting it making him scream in agony.

You could have easily broken his arm, but you didn't want to make a big scene. "Touch me again, and you will regret it." He had a petrified look on his face and put up his hands in surrender, but you knew he was still a massive dick.

Unfortunately, when you put your drink down, you weren't paying attention enough to notice that your drink was spiked.

You took a couple sips of your drink and you felt free, but the sudden feeling of dizziness overwhelmed your body, blackness filling your vision.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

When you gained consciousness once more, you noticed the music wasn't blaring and the setting changed. You were now in an empty warehouse, rust on the walls and live wire lamps.

"Well, well, who knew the youngest Winchester would have her life ended by going to a teenage party." You glared at the man, not sure what he was, but then he blinked, his eyes turning black, now evident he was a demon.

"Son of a bitch, let me go." You said weakly, the drugs still having an effect on you. He just smiled evilly and closed the door, leaving you alone.

You took this opportunity to pray to Jack, hoping he was awake to hear your prayer.

"Jack, baby, if you're hearing this, I n-need help."

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

When Jack heard your prayer, he sprinted to your room, waking up Sam and Dean, Castiel already being awake considering he doesn't sleep.

When he saw you weren't in your room, fear and anger started to overcome his body.

"Jack, what's wrong, "Castiel asked, the two older Winchester's alerted while walking out of their room.

"Y/n sent me a prayer, something wrong and she's not in her room." Jack then closed his eyes and focused on you. He saw your distressed state and to say he was angry was an understatement. His eyes started to glow gold and his body was shaking in anger.

Being so angry that you were in trouble and somebody is hurting you, Jack didn't even say another word as he used his wings and teleported to your location. His rage was still fuming through his body as he saw the demon holding a knife and walking towards you.

Not hesitating, Jack reached out his arm as golden circles filled the room, instantly killing the other demons.

Once he saw the perpetrators were dead, Jack saw the sight of you and his eyes blinked back to blue.

"Y/n!" Jack ran to your side and broke the chains off of your body easily. He instantly pulled you into a hug and you didn't hesitate to show your tears as you desperately needed comfort from your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have left," you sobbed into his shoulder. He gently kissed your head, the feeling of his warmth comforting you.

"Don't worry, Y/n, you're okay. How about we go home and watch that one internet service...what was it called..N-N-"

"You mean Netflix?" You said with a stifled laugh.

"Yeah! Let's watch Netflix." You nodded your head and Jack teleported back to the bunker, relief filling your body.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

[charcubed]

Some thoughts on The Winchesters after episode 5, and on self-reflection, and what it may tell us about Dean’s situation:

This was originally written as a thread on Twitter, which is (unfortunately) where I have historically done most of my meta writing. (Here is a collection of my Twitter posts about this show, including a few long meta threads.) I’m trying to get better about crossposting to tumblr ASAP when it's manageable.

All this to say that if this reads like it’s written in bite-sized chunks… that’s why. Also, I am writing this at midnight from an iPad lol.

So… This “Dean all the way down” show, if you will. In every episode of this show, its main characters highlight important things about Dean’s life and his relationships with others, as well as the unfinished parts of his story. Here’s a handy refresher, courtesy of my friend Matt.

I am compelled by the consistency of this (to the point of hypothesizing that Lata will be the main Dean mirror of the week in ep6).

I am also compelled by what is shaping up to be one of many consistencies in not only the themes but also the PLOTS of these episodes:

In every episode so far other than the pilot (I think?), someone is taken and trapped physically and/or mentally. Their freedom requires examining who they are as a person and what’s important to them, and/or examining who they are in relation to who they care about, mostly via reflective versions.

2: John, taken by La Tunda who punishes disobedient children & masquerades as Millie

3: Mary, taken by Bori Baba who lures you in with what you want most

4: John & Carlos, taken by a god of “destiny” who wants John to be like him

5: Mary, trapped in her mind by the Akrida

They’re all different situations, but at their core the key to freedom in the plot is always some form of self-reflection.

It’s making me wonder, because… well, we’re explicitly dealing with a narrative that’s cyclical, yes? We know that already, and the show’s not shy about it…

Cycles of violence + parents & children, on a micro level (Winchester family) and macro level (forces wanting to mold you into something you don’t want to be, or control you; Chuck/God as Father, destiny, and now Akrida).

But is it also a cycle in regards to this self-reflection?

Metaphorically, yes. This is what Dean is doing here and it’s why the characters are continuously acting as rotating mirrors for him. But what I’m beginning to wonder is if we’re meant to start taking it as hints to being literal for Dean, the way it is for the characters.

The characters repeatedly participate in self-reflection to free themselves from literal traps, and that self-reflections acts as reflection of Dean. What does this maybe tell us about what’s LITERALLY happening to Dean? Can we start piecing together that he’s trapped somewhere and uncovering/telling this story is key to his freedom?

🎶 Like a circle in a spiral

Like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning

On an ever spinning reel 🎶

They keep being trapped in places where they have to face aspects of who they are, who they love, and what haunts them. Maybe that’s the literal situation Dean could be in (fake Heaven trap?) and is part of the reason for the story he’s telling. Examining himself to break free.

I don’t know how front-facing in terms of the plot this may be. It could remain metaphorical. or be an extra-narrative reference about the prequel being its own thing but also a quasi stepping stone to a sequel.

But Dean being Trapped is, at this point, feeling pretty implicit.

Combine this with how mirror and reflective imagery is starting to visually pop up a little bit more.

And also combine it with all of the ways Tony’s story parallels Jack’s, and what that could imply about a “Chuck won” through-line… but I’m not getting into that tonight lol.

I am very intrigued. Everything about this is circular, and talking about one aspect kind of tips you into talking about another, which is FASCINATING story construction. So I’m sorry if I repeated myself here!

It’s reminiscent of a triskelion, naturally, a la the necklace in ep2.

Calling it quits for tonight because I am TIRED. Bottom line:

The repeated implication is that Dean is Trapped and doing self-reflection to try to break free. How literal that may or may not in terms of where/when he is remains to be seen, but… it’s feeling more and more pointed.

And I know I’m one of the foremost Chuck won preachers, okay, but I do try not to let it color my view of this show too strongly. I can’t help it that the material feeds me at every turn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[plus-size-reader]

Not a Good Idea

Jack Kline x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2084 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Jack asks out the reader thinking he's joking with her and she goes to hide but he follows easily?

For @lilacprincessofrecovery, I hope you like it darling

—————————————————————————————————

Jack had always had a crush on you, now that he understood what that meant.

He felt connected to you, and even though he didn’t know a ton of other people, he knew enough. He knew that no one was ever going to make him feel like you did, which was why he decided to ask you out on a date in the first place.

That was what you did when you liked someone, he’d seen Dean do it a million times before.

It seemed to work out for him just fine, because he was always in the company of women. You were a woman, and he didn’t see a reason he couldn’t do the same thing with you.

Granted, he hadn’t exactly worked out all the details yet but he figured you would help him.

You always did.

All he had to do was ask you and the rest would fall into place.

At least, in theory that was how it was supposed to work. After all, as soon as he had suggested that the two of you go out for a romantic evening as Dean so often did, you weren’t nearly as receptive to the idea as he imagined you would be.

In fact, you almost seemed upset by what he was suggesting.

He’d never seen you so upset before.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you hummed, barely looking up from your laptop as you spoke, your eyes still locked on the screen. Had Jack not been so fine tuned to your every move, he may have missed the slight tensing in your jaw.

He had definitely upset you, but what he didn’t understand was how.

In all those times Dean had asked a girl to have dinner with him, or get some coffee in the morning, she had never reacted like you were now.

In fact, you hardly ever acted like that at all.

You were always very attentive to Jack when he talked to you, eager to help him navigate the world around him or help him understand something he couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

It wasn’t like you to be so cold, but you couldn’t help it.

What he was asking, it was too much.

“What do you mean, not a good idea? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, concerned that he had unknowingly done something to offend you.

It all seemed pretty straight forward but it wouldn’t have surprised Jack if he’d somehow misread the situation or said something he shouldn’t have. He was pretty new to this whole thing after all.

It wasn’t like someone had gone out of their way to teach him how to talk to a girl he liked, he was just making it up as he went.

“No, it’s just not a good idea” you repeated, unsure of what to say to get him to drop this whole thing.

Nothing was going to make him realize how humiliating this was for you.

It just wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t imagine Jack would do something like that to be cruel to you, or push buttons that he shouldn’t but you couldn’t help but be upset by it.

It was just too much.

Jack hardly even realized what it was he was asking, and you just had a bad feeling about it. You knew that he was trying to be sweet, trying to do what he thought he should, but it wasn’t like he actually understood any of this.

You were basically the only girl he knew, like, at all.

Of course he had come to the conclusion that he wanted to have something with you because he’d seen this before. He constantly saw Dean trying to woo beautiful women and all that, but he wasn’t Dean, and you certainly weren’t like those women in the bar.

He didn’t know enough about this to even know what he wanted.

He didn’t know enough to know why you weren’t what he wanted, and the last thing you wanted was to wait around, caring about him, until he realized that.

You would only get your heart broken.

There was silence between the two of you for a moment as Jack desperately tried to understand what could have possibly gone so wrong in these few moments since he approached and it was only overwhelming you more.

You felt like you were ruining everything, like by saying no you were going to upset Jack and he wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore but he didn;t know what you did.

He didn’t understand that you were only trying to help him in the long run.

“I, I have to go” you decided, gathering the few files Sam had given you to look over as you went. It would be better to just get out of this situation as quickly as you could, especially since Jack clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

Maybe later you could have Dean explain just why this was such a bad idea. It would be much simpler than having to go through telling him yourself.

It was bad enough you were having this conversation in the first place.

You hoped that you would just be able to go, though, maybe you should have known better than to think that. As soon as you rounded the corner to your room, you came face to face with him again.

It was too much.

“What are you doing?” you gasped, cursing yourself for forgetting about what he was. It was lost on you too often that Jack wasn’t human and he could do things like teleport around and scare the shit out of you.

You thought you had been pretty clear about the fact that you wanted to be alone, but like Jack was known to do, he didn’t get the message.

Instead, he found himself more worried about upsetting you than anything else, including your own wants.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was supposed to come with you” he shrugged, once again struck with the fact he had done something wrong. This was really hard for him, and he was just trying to get it right.

It seemed like everything he was doing lately was wrong, no matter how hard he tried to get it right.

...and now he’d upset you, his only friend in the world.

“No, I told-'' you started, but stopped as soon as you saw the look on his face change from concern to complete and utter confusion. Just when he thought he understood, he went and did something bad.

It was getting frustrating.

“It’s okay, I just don’t think you understand what you’re asking” you allowed, deciding that if he wasn't going to just take your no for an answer, you were going to have to shed some light on the subject.

Just like Jack wasn’t a regular guy in any other sense, he wasn’t a regular guy in this either. He wasn’t being a creep or yanking your chain just to get a rise out of you.

If he had asked for a date, that was because he wanted one.

It wasn’t his fault he didn’t quite get why it wouldn’t ever work.

“Would you tell me? Please?” Jack hummed, confused as to why this was upsetting you so much. It wasn’t underhanded or accusatory like you had come to expect from other men.

It was real.

Jack was really just confused and that made this conversation that much harder.

“You don’t want to go out with me Jack, I don’t look anything like those girls Dean goes out with, do I?” you reasoned, hoping somehow he would get the point.

What you were saying made all the sense in the world to you, but not to Jack. He didn’t see what the big deal was, or why that mattered but clearly, you did.

There was this look in your eyes that he’d never seen before.

“This? Do the women Dean dates have this?” you asked, your voice little more than a whisper now as you grabbed at the fat around your middle with your fingers, as if proving your point.

To you, that skin was your biggest shame and more than enough reason for him not to care about you at all but Jack, being the metaphysical being he was, didn’t see a single flaw in you.

To him, every person was exactly how they needed to be and you were no exception to that.

You were perfect.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never looked at them too closely” he admitted, sitting down beside you on your bed, where you had decided to stay. It was far easier than standing there, having him look at you like that.

This whole thing was ridiculous.

It would have been much easier if he just accepted your no in the first place, but maybe that was the hardest part. Deep down, you didn’t want him to accept your no, or to know just how much you hated your own body.

There was nothing more embarrassing, but again, you had to remember who it was you were talking to.

Jack really didn’t have anything to gain by making you feel like a terrible person, and he didn't have a problem with how you looked. The only trouble would be making sure you understood that.

He didn’t see anything wrong with you, not at all.

“This is why you’re upset?” he clarified, Jack knew well enough to know that just because he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, it was obviously affecting you quite a bit.

That meant it had to be important to him too.

“Yes Jack, you deserve a girl like the one’s Dean cares so much about. You can’t go out with me just because I’m the only girl you know” you tried, hoping that this would prove it to him.

There were plenty of other girls out there, girls far prettier than you, but even hearing that, Jack wasn’t swayed in the least.

He understood that you were different than they were, he was just lost on how they were somehow better.

They didn’t help him keep track of things that sometimes slipped his mind or read to him when he was too preoccupied to remember that he had to sleep every once and a while.

They didn’t pay attention to him or care about him, not like you did.

Besides, you were his best friend, his only friend. If there was anyone alive he was going to be in love with, or take on a date, it was you. There was no one in the world as important to him as you.

“But you’re my favorite girl, doesn’t that mean something too?” he tried, still genuinely confused if he had a point or not. He thought that he did but you seemed so sure that you were right.

He didn’t know what to believe.

“How can I be your favorite when I’m the only one you know?” you asked, a small laugh leaving your throat before you could stop it, thinking about how silly this whole thing was.

All Jack wanted to do was have dinner with you, or something like that, and you had turned it into something else completely.

He was trying to prove a point he didn’t even understand just because he cared about you, and that was sweet. Besides, it was nice to hear that you were his favorite girl, even if the roster was short.

You did like Jack, of course you did, you just didn’t want him to make a decision without knowing everything.

Right now, he didn’t know everything.

“Because even if I knew every girl on the planet, you would still be my favorite” he shrugged, leaving you just as speechless as you had been at the very start of this.

You wanted to talk to him, wanted to say anything, but it wouldn’t make any difference. There was nothing you could say that was going to make a difference, you wanted to go out with him.

More than anything.

“I’ll go on a date with you, if you’re sure it's what you want” you decided, looking into his blue eyes and finding it impossible to not do exactly that. You liked him and nothing was going to change that.

If he wanted to go on a date, a real date like normal people did, there was no sense in arguing with him.

“I would really like that”

[ltleflrt]

Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?

Hello friend!

That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.

Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.

Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜

So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.

That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?

And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?

And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?

There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.

So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.

So for example:

In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)

The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.

If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.

And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.

Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.

My nemesis, The Daily Grind.

I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.

You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol

It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.

So for example:

Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.

Ugh.

BORING.

Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:

Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.

Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.

So, same scenario:

Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.

In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!

Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...

As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?

If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.

I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?

I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜