#very good read! just took me awhile. super descriptive but beautiful

[hiddenobject-fanblog]

Just finished reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde and my thoughts are exploding rn

[genshinfanboy]

A Special Meeting.

|Hello everyone. I know it's been awhile. My apologies about that. I was working on some irl stuff and didn't have time to write. I'm back. I had changed my rules slightly for requests. They are still closed. I'll make an update post soon. This one-shot is fairly indulgent for me. It is fairly long so be warned about that. Anyways please enjoy and as always feel free to change the pronouns to fit your own. Have a good day or night. :)

Albedo x Cryo! Male reader.

Warning: minor Spoilers for characters stories.

Albedo was sitting in the library reading some books. He was looking into something he had ran into at Dragonspine. He had a feeling it had to do with Festering Desire. He gave a small sigh. This small research task would become that much more tedious if the Calvary Captain decided to visit the library that day. He was looking through the shelves to find some history books. They should help him solve this strange occurance. He walked around the library reading the spines of books to see what he's looking for. As he was walking he heard Lisa talking with a voice he didn't recognize. "So cutie would you like to be Lisa's little helper today?" She said. Albedo pitied the poor person who was being roped into helping Lisa. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he was curious about the other person Lisa was talking to. The person seemed overly polite.

(Y/N) gave Lisa a small smile. "So Miss Lisa is this why you asked me to come here today? I'm not going to have to make a run for over due books am I?" He asked. He shifted slightly on his feet. He didn't like just standing still. He watched Lisa's face closely to gauge if his initial thought was correct. She gave a small laugh and crossed her arms. "I don't need you to do that today Cutie. I do have some potion recipes I'd like to have you look at while you're here. You don't visit Mondstadt very often after all. Make me wonder if you even need your old teacher after all." She answer. "However if you want to make book runs I won't stop you. I am more than happy to keep you here longer. Maybe we can even reopen the lessons you missed while being gone?" (Y/N) got a bit worried as he saw his old master's smile turn into a bit of a smirk. He quickly shook his head putting his hands up. "I think helping you with the potions will be enough today. I'll make sure to send letter more often and visit more. No need to reopen the lessons. So do we need to go to your lab for the potions or would you like to go to the Alchemy table in the middle of toqn?" He quickly stated. He wanted to change the topics so Lisa wouldn't get any ideas.

Albedo listened to the conversation a bit long. Something about the person talking to Lisa seemed intriguing. His ears picked up the part about potions. He was interested in the potions and decided to walk towards the voices. "Pardon my intrusion. I happened to over hear your conversation. Is it possible for me to join in on the potion creation?" He asked approaching the two. His eyes met will the person talking with Lisa. He looked at them for a second their features seemed enticing. He received a look from the unknown male. The look was a bit hard to decipher. "Oh Albedo! I didn't know you were here. You're welcome to join us. This cutie has been all over Teyvat and is quite the genius." Lisa greeted with a smile. Her voice definitely surprised. He observed the other male turning slightly red. "I'm not that smart Miss Lisa. It's a pleasure to meet you I'm (Y/N) (L/N)." The other male held out a hand to him. "No it's mine. My name is Albedo." He said taking the other's hand. "Shall we to the potions?"

(Y/N) looked at the light haired person. Albedo was definitely attractive. He was definitely interested in the other. He glanced at the blue eyes shyly. He hoped he wouldn't be caught staring as the three were walking. He wondered if Albedo was apart of the knights. He wasn't too fond of most knighted. Maybe Albedo would be one of the ones he liked. They made it to Lisa's lab. (Y/N) watched her pull out the recipe for the potion and hand it to him. "This was left in one of the returned books recently. I've been having issues trying to figure out what it is. Some of the ingredients aren't things I've recognized. Read it through and let me know what you think." She said. He started reading through it. He felt his cheeks heat up as he noticed Albedo was close to him reading over his shoulder. As he read through the ingredients of the potion he noticed something strange. On the worn out piece of paper there was a faded instruction. It was barely legible. "Miss Lisa there's a need for a cryo vision energy for this recipe. I find that a bit strange. There is an ingredient from every nation. I'm pretty sure that I have enough of all of the ingredients to make one potion. Another thing I noticed is the instruction at the end is rather off for some of the ingredients. It's quite faded and was hard to decipher at first between Cryo and Pyro. Though I am certain it says Cryo. It's odd to use cold rather then heat to combine everything." He explained. He barely noticed Albedo step a bit closer to him to get a better look. His face became a bit more red. He was praying to the archons that his old teacher wouldn't notice.

Albedo leaned closer to see what (Y/N) saw. It was a rather unique. He was impressed with how quickly the other had read the recipe. He finished reading finally and stepped back slightly. "That is fascinating. There is no name or description of what the potion does. Perhaps one of us can drink it to find out the effects. It could make for a new discovery." He explained. He did wish to see this through until the end. "Well Cutie it seems you are the perfect little helper for this task." Lisa said wrapping her arms around the other. Albedo watched his (e/c) eyes widened. They were a lovely color. "May I just observe while you make the potion." He said. The other two in the group nodded. (Y/N) started working skillfully making the potion. Albedo was watching him. He brought his sketchbook out and started drawing the sight. After a few minutes it was done. He smiled as he looked at the sketch of the other male. He watched as the potion was also completed It glowed a nice light blue color. He stepped closer. He set his sketch book down to look at the potion. He noticed little snowflakes it as well. Were they from (Y/N)'s cryo energy? He looked up at the other two. Lisa and (Y/N) seemed to be looking at something. He followed their line of sight and saw them looking at his sketch. He saw the other male blushing like crazy. "Oh my apologies for drawing you without permission. I did it without thinking." He said with a very faint blush on his cheeks.

(Y/N) could detect a hint of embarrassment. "Oh no it's fine the entire drawing is very beautiful. I'm very impressed." He quickly said to relieve him of the embarrassment. "Who should test the potion?" He was a bit shy. "I think you should darling. You did most of the work after all." Lisa said with a smile. He was a bit nervous to try it. Though it shouldn't be that bad plus his curiousity over took his worry. He gave the old arch mage a nod and grabbed it. He uncorked it and starting putting it to his lips. The moment the rim touched his lips his wrist was grabbed by someone stopping him from drinking it. He looked up in surprise his (e/c) irises meeting the beautiful blue eyes. "Wait I just wish to clarify something before I allow you to ingest that. All of the ingredients are safe to ingest correct?" He said in a worried tone. (Y/N) would be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat at the tone of Albedo's voice. He gave a smile to the other. "I don't carry any herbs or anything that are lethal to others. They tend to interact poorly with some of the herbs I always carry for medicinal use. Thank you for your worry though." He said giving Albedo a soft smile. The two shared a look. "I'd still feel more comfortable if I was the one to ingest it." He said. (Y/N) started thinking for a second. "How about a both drink half and then Lisa can monitor us if anything goes wrong?" He suggested.

Albedo let out a sigh. "You certainly are a stubborn person." He hid his small smile. "Well let me drink it first." He said holding out a hand. He saw the (e/c) male place the bottle in his own hand. He didn't know why he reacted the way he did. It was truly strange. He found a strange infatuation with this person. Perhaps it was the other's thought process. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the man he was thinking about. "Hmm I wonder if since it uses a cryo vision to combine things if it may affect vision holders differently." He said. Lisa watched eagerly. "If it does then this potion could potentially be dangerous." She said with a hand to her chin. Albedo gave Lisa a nod before drinking half of the potion. It was very sweet which made him slightly happy. He didn't feel any immediate effects. "The taste is sweet. However I haven't felt anything immediate happen." He said to the others. The former Arch Mage and the other male seemed interested. He watched the other male down the rest of the potion. "Yuck that's super bitter......" his sentence was cut off when he started staring at Albedo. The Alchemist definitely wary of the stare. "Is there something on my face?" He inquired. The other quickly shook his head. "No it's just that the potion seems to be affecting me faster than it might be affecting you or something. Is it because I had made ......" the other's voice seemed to trail off. He noticed swaying. Lisa must've too since she quickly put her hands on (Y/N)'s arms to stabilize him. Albedo quickly rushed over and checked for anything dire. Soon there was a puff of light blue smoke around the three. When the smoke had cleared a teen stood where (Y/N) should've been. Something clicked in Albedo's head. So that's why he had been so infatuated with someone he thought he hardly knew. This was someone he met once before. They had spoke for hours on different topics when they were teenagers. (Y/N) was the person Albedo cared very deeply for in his youth before he met Alice and Klee. (Y/N) was Albedo's first love. He was once again snapped from his thoughts by the person he was thinking about. "? I thought you and your master had left. I was waiting for you." The teen said with a frown. "I am sorry for leaving you back then. I assure you it won't happen again." He said giving a reassuring smile. He meant what he said there's no way he wanted to lose the other again. He looked at Lisa who seemed confused. Before another clouds of light blue smoke appeared. (Y/N) was standing between the two looking slightly confused. "Wait were you the boy (Y/N) talked endlessly Albedo?" Lisa asked with a smirk. She saw both boys go bright red. "Miss Lisa I asked you not to mention that." He said.

As the conversation died down there was one thing for certain. Albedo wasn't going to lose (Y/N) a second time.

[goddamnelsa]

Liz’s Top Books of 2020

blatantly stolen from @alamorn but also i wanted to feel accomplished that i did in fact read published books this year before descending entirely into mdzs/the untamed fanfiction :) :) :) :)

In two parts! Books I read that actually came out in 2020, and then honorable mentions of books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years. Enjoy!

Top Books Published in 2020 (which are not in any kind of order because I can’t like rank stuff, I’m not that kind of person)

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

What can I say except it’s N.K. Jemisin who wrote my favorite high fantasy series (The Inheritance Trilogy), won three consecutive Hugo Awards for her The Broken Earth trilogy, and she’s writing urban fantasy with Lovecraftian and superhero team flavor. I mean....obviously I was at the top of the wait list for this once my library ordered it. And it lived up to the hype!! Because of course!! It’s fabulously fast-paced with amazingly smart and interesting characters of diverse backgrounds. I kept thinking one of them was my favorite, and then another would have a great line and I would change my mind. It’s fine, they’re all technically one entity with several parts, so I can love them all and not choose (but it’s probably Bronca, let’s be real). And it’s the first of a series! And I’m counting down the days til there is more!

Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis

I definitely picked this up simply because Lindsay Ellis, one of my favorite video essayists, wrote it, and then ended up loving everything about it. I’m not usually one for First Contact stories, but I appreciate the very human-focused approach here, sticking solely to an ordinary girl’s perspective as she navigates being the person first in contact with a very alien alien. Cora’s attempts to humanize Ampersand are relatable, but I appreciate Ellis reminding us at almost every turn that Ampersand is super Not Human, no matter how much Cora reads into his actions. Ellis doesn’t gloss over the Science part either, especially when it comes to the race of aliens Ampersand belongs to. Again, the first of a series, and you will absolutely be screaming for the next book when this one is over.

You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria

Insert my obligatory “I don’t usually read romances blah blah blah.” Though, during lockdown, I attempted to branch out beyond my usual genres when I was attending a ton of publisher webinars about upcoming books. This one stood out to me because of its Latinx cast and the whole behind-the-scenes of a Jane The Virgin-esque show, based on a telenovela (of course). It is fantastic, a quick read with instantly likable and fun characters. And the tropes! We’re playing love interests but we have insane chemistry! A sensitive, traumatized male lead who learns to open up again! A sassy but insecure female lead who learns to let loose and love again! Hooking up, but we have to keep on the DL or else scandal! And of course, the extended families add to every scene they are in--I loved every interaction Ashton and Jasmine had with their families, it was the cherry on top of a fantastic read. Also the sex scenes are steamy. 

Beetle and the Hollowbones by Aliza Layne

I got this graphic novel as an advanced reader copy well before it came out, and after reading it, I was sCREAMING because I couldn’t tell all my graphic novel, queer coming-of-age-with-magic loving friends to immediately pick up a copy!! So thankfully, it’s out now, so I can scream to the heavens to please read this!!! It is such a sweet story with beautiful full-color art and fantastic world-building. It has the same silly, referential humor you see in a lot of kids/YA graphic novels these days, but Beetle packs in a lot of heart as well. 

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi

Like many people in May/June of this year, I was reading, reading, reading a lot of books about racism from as many Black authors as I could get my hands on. There were many not published this year that should definitely be read (So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo being among the top), but this book really stuck with me because it is written specifically for a younger audience, and Jason Reynolds knows how to talk to kids about tough subjects. Stamped gets across difficult concepts like assimilationists and segregationists in an easy-to-understand, conversational style that doesn’t take away from any of the important history and nuance. This certainly is not The Book of antiracism studies, but it is a good starting point if you are daunted by lengthy title lists and aren’t sure where to begin. I highly recommend the audiobook as well, read by Reynolds himself.

(Side note: I watched this keynote address with Reynolds and Kendi which is an excellent primer into the background of how this book came to be. Reynolds is also just very interesting to listen to)

Honorable Mentions aka Books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years again, not ranked because I CAN’T, OKAY

White Is For Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

I read this book and then wanted to go back and read it immediately again, not necessarily because it was so amazing, but because I felt like I would get it even more if I did. This is a haunting little book that took turns I was not expecting, even with the book synopsis I read. It is disturbing and features descriptions of an eating disorder, so proceed with caution. However, if you like Gothic tales of haunted houses and the trauma inflicted on us by those who came before, I can’t recommend this one enough.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

My last book club read before the pandemic D: We didn’t actually get to meet to discuss this book, but my club (all librarians) were working at our emergency call center at the same time and all reading it, so we KINDA got to discuss it, if not in a formal book club setting. ANYWAY, it’s a thrilling jaunt through 1920s Mexico, following a fantastic Cinderella-esque heroine who makes a deal with a Mayan god to retrieve his body. If you are a fan of the Percy Jackson-brand of mythological adventures, this is definitely one to add to your list, especially if you are looking for something a little bit more Adult.

Scary Stories for Young Foxes by Christian McKay Heidicker

Okay, I know it’s a young readers/middle grade book, but HEAR ME OUT. This is whimsical and haunting tale about seven little fox kits who set out to scare themselves shitless by hearing scary tales. Only one kit will remain when the night is over, but the one who does will get to hear a surprisingly sweet, and well-earned, happy ending. If you are a Neil Gaiman-esque horror fan, I recommend picking this up. Its scares are fairly scary, especially for its audience, but it’s an engaging story about the lengths we will go for the ones we love.

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse

Did someone say Navajo monster-hunting heroine with magic powers navigating a post-apocalyptic world, oh and also saving it??? Look, Maggie is My Kind of Hero, in that she’s damaged, she drinks too much, she’s surly, but she has a seriously gooey heart of gold underneath all that armor. Navajo mythology is woven into this tale of monster-hunting, surviving. If you’re in Supernatural-disappointment-land, maybe give this a try! It has that Western-y, road trip feel to it, and again, I love the lead character. (It also has a currently published sequel and a soon-to-be-released third book as well!)

This is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This was rec’ed to me by a librarian friend, with the words, “Oh, Liz, you’ll really like this.” And she was RIGHT. Red and Blue are on opposite sides of a war waged across time and decide to send letters to each other, at first, to taunt, but then, to understand, to learn, and to love. The details of the war don’t matter much, but what does matter is the achingly beautiful poetry with which Red and Blue reveal themselves to each other. I was told to listen to this one, but I’m glad I read it myself instead. The prose is very purple at times, and I appreciated being able to go back to passages to reread again and again. Oh, and it’s queer (Red and Blue are both female), and SPOILERS SPOILERS has a happy ending. 

(also there is a wangxian remix for my mdzs buds. and also a semi-officially sanctioned fanfic sequel???? at least amal el-mohtar linked it from goodreads so whoo! also also it’s very funny)

And that’s my Year in Books 2020! Seeing it laid out like this, I had a surprisingly good year for book reading even though I felt like I barely read anything. For awhile, reading was Hard, and I just wanted to consume fluffy, sweet fanfiction, but I’m getting back into it. Oh, and please let me know if you check any of these out!

Here’s to a good year for books in 2021! ✨

[sanderssideswriting]

First meetings

LAMP soulmate AU based on this and this post

Ships: LAMP (duh)

Word count: ???

Triggers: None, it’s fluff, but tell me if there are any

Virgil glared at his hair. Not cool Ro he thought as he looked at his rainbow hair. It did not fit his aesthetic at all. He was supposed to be emo god damn it. Rainbow hair is in no way emo.

Virgil took a selfie and texted Joan his best friend.

Virgil: Blame my fucking soulmate

Joan: lol like you’d ever willingly dye your hair rainbow

Virgil: exactly, just telling you so you don’t ask why my hair is a fucking rainbow

Joan: have fun at that museum trip with your parents

Virgil: Don’t fucking remind me, we also have to go see Six with some clients or whatever, it’ll be cool but still, I don’t wanna go with them. Plus my hair is RAINBOW that’s not going to go well. I gtg now, parents are calling me

Joan: Ok, later

Virgil went down stairs to see his parents, they where waiting for him.

“Virgil, honey what happened to you hair?” his mother asked.

“One of my soulmates dyed it yesterday,” Virgil said.

His dad grinned “you have a powerful soulbond Virg,” he said ruffling his sons rainbow hair.

Logan was at the museum of modern art. He did not like modern art. He could understand the beauty of a painting and the days it took to complete, but not a sculpture made out of what looked to be plastic shaped with wires. It wasn’t even a shape, it may as well be a plastic bag filled with plastic bags.

Logan took out a marker and wrote on the free space on his arm.

V, I’m at a museum and I saw an art piece you might like. it’s dark and there’s a sort of green mist and I think donkeys? it’s hard to describe

So am I, I think I saw that painting awhile ago, the only thing I could think of when I saw it was “Donkey cult” 

V! Lo! You two are in the same place! You should find each other, it should be pretty easy since we all have rainbow hair thanks to Ro

You’re right Pat. I guess we’ll meet soon Lo

Virgil grinned at his arm “mom, dad, one of my soulmates are here, can you tell me if you see rainbow hair?” I ask them

“Sure thing Virgil, you can’t miss an oppertunity to talk to your soulmate” his mom said.

Logan saw the rainbow hair first. He was.. Nervous? He knew that he’d meet his soulmates eventfully, but he didn’t think it would be so hard.

“Slautations, V I presume” Logan said to his soulmate.

V turned around “And you’re Lo, I’m Virgil Storm,” Virgil said, he was clarly a nervous wreak.

“Logan Berry,” Logan said.

Should they shake hands, hug? He wasn’t sure, it was really awkward.

It didn’t last long, Virgil spoke “do you like modern art?” He asked.

“God no, I prefer classic art and paintings.”

“Same, there’s a room of clocks and I didn’t read the description but it was pretty  weird just from the looks of it,” Virgil said.

“I read it, the clocks are set to different times, from one master clock like how most clocks are in work environment hooked up to on master clock. The point is eventfully the sandpaper will slow the hands and eventfully the clocks will sync. Of course that only works if the sand paper stays on the handles, sone of it has fallen off,” Logan said.

After that converation came easily between the two.

Of course all good things came to and end, with them exchanging numbers and going on their way.

Virgil met his parents clients and their son at dinner before the show.

“I’m Virgil,” Virgil said to Mr. and Mrs. Prince’s son.

“Remus, you know my brother Roman dyed his hair rainbow yesterday,” Remus said casully.

Virgil grabbed a marker from his pocket and write on his hand.

“Virgil, that’s very rude to write to your soulmates at the dinner table, it can wait,” his mother scolded taking his marker.

Remus ran home and called Roman. (Roman goes to private boarding school for arts or something just go with it)

“I know something you don’t!” He sang.

“Remus stop playing games!” Roman hissed.

“So you don’t want to hear about one of your soulmates?”

“Spill the tea right now, tell me everything. What does he look like? How did he act? Is he cute? TELL!” Roman practically shouted with excitement.

“He’s kinda shy I think? He didn’t talk much. I think he was going to write to you but him mom stopped him and took his marker for the night. He’s super pale, wore an old hoodie that’s to big for him and skinny jeans. I guess he’s cute, but he’s not my soulmate,” Remus said.

“I need to go now, I’m volunteering at an animal shelter, tell me more later,” Roman said hanging up.

Patton was feeding the orphaned kittens at the animal shelter When Roman walked in.

“Hey I’m meant to be helping feed the kittens and stuff,” He said.

Patton smiled “Well that’ s purr-fect timing, there are extra bottles over there and these little guys haven’t eaten yet,” Patton said motioning to a group of kittens to his left.

Roman laughed lightly “puns, I’m Roman, you?”

“Patton, nice to meet you Ro!” He said.

Roman saw the rainbow hair that second.

“Pat? Meeting one of my soulmates at an animal shelter, who would have thought,” Roman said.

They talked and laughed.

After a few hours when Roman had to leave he was utterly head over heels in love with Patton.

He called Remus “Tell me everything about V, also I met Pat! But V first,” he said.

“Ok, I write down everything I saw and heard about V, I know how crazy you are so listen” Remus said before he started to describe V.

I need to do Spanish homework so that’s all for today!

[lettersinscarlet]

Smiles (Colby Brock Imagine)

Hello! I’ve been working on this for days. This one is super long so it might take a little while to read 😂😂. I’ve been bouncing around a few ideas and I can’t wait to get them written out so yay! My requests are open for Sam, Colby, and Jake. I’m gonna try and write some Jake stories but if they are terrible you gotta let me know 😂😂 and I’m still in need of some blurb ideas so HMU if you got any! Hope you enjoy!

Request: You’ve kept your child hidden from the public eye and in one of the most recent videos and they appear in front of the camera acting cute and fans go crazy over how similar they look to Colby.

——————————————————————————

“(Y/N)!” Colby cheered as he opened the door for you. You walked in and smiled and gave him a big hug. Jake and Sam came next and you guys stood and talked for a second.

“Did you bring Jace?” Sam asked.

“Nope. I left him back in Kansas,” you said, trying to hide your smile. The boys all looked sad and then you quickly peeked your head back into the hall and motioned for him to come down. Jace’s feet made stomping noises as he cane running down the hall and into the apartment.

“Jace!” they all exclaimed and in turn gave him hugs. You smiled at all the guys and you shut the door.

You had known these three since you had been in Kansas with them. You guys had stuck together through high school, even with Jake being so far away. You had had a little crush on Colby but you never did anything about it. When they left for LA, you had stayed behind to settle down in Kansas. You had made a nice living and you had met some guy and that very guy had gotten pregnant. You had told him and he had freaked out and left, leaving you scared and alone. You didn’t know who to turn to, so you had called the guys. Even though you were all grown and they had their own lives, they had still supported you through everything. So every once in awhile, you came up to LA to see them and sometimes your brought Jace, your son, with you.

Jace. His full name was Jason “Jase” Daniel (L/N). He had blonde hair and brilliantly blue eyes. He was three years old and he loved going to see the guys. And it seemed that they liked seeing Jace, too.

“So what are you guys up to today?” you asked as you went to sit on the couch. The guys followed you and Jace went to sit right next to Colby.

“We’re filming a never have I ever video,” Colby explained. “Wanna join?”

“(Y/N) please join!” Jake pleaded. “It’ll be just like we used to!”

“Hopefully not JUST like we used to,” you said as your eyes got wide. The boys chuckled and Jace giggled. “Alright I’m in. Is there a spot Jace can go while we film?” you asked.

“Oh yeah! He can hang out in my other room if you’re good with that,” Sam offered.

“Since it’s Sam’s house, we know he’s got crayons and coloring books,” Colby joked. Everyone laughed and Sam showed Jace where the room was and some things he could play with. Sam got back and he set up his camera.

“Don’t worry, I moved the Chucky doll and I don’t think he could hurt himself on anything.”

“Alright then let’s get started!”

Sam turned on the camera and flopped down on the couch.

“What’s up guys it’s your boy Sam and today I am with Shrek,” he pointed at Jake, “Donkey,” he pointed at Colby, “and Fiona!” he pointed at you. You guys all laughed and Sam looked back at the camera. “Actually we’re here today with one of our good friends. (Y/N)!” You struck a pose and then smiled at the camera. “Today we are going to play never have I ever. You guys know how the game works. One of us is going to ask a question that the other’s have to answer. And the questions are in my trusty hat,” Sam announces as he pulls a hat from behind his back and sets in on the table. Colby and Jake groan and you laugh. “If you haven’t done what the question says, you are safe. If you HAVE done what the questions says, you have to...” Sam reached down and grabbed something and slammed it on the table, “DRINK THE LEMON JUICE!”

Colby’s eyes got wide and Jake scooter back closer against the couch. You pulled your knees against your chest and Sam laughed evilly.

“Are we all drinking out of the same glass? Cuz I don’t know what diseases you guys have, but I certainly don’t want to catch them,” you said.

“No we’ve got separate glasses,” Sam said and got up to get them. He came back with four identical glasses and he set them next to the bottle of lemon juice. “Any questions before we start?”

“Yea, why are you SO EVIL?” Colby yelled and you laughed.

“Okay then, first question,” Sam said as he reached in the hat. “Never have I ever gone commando.”

Jake reaches for the juice and poured himself some and drank it. His face scrunched up and everyone laughed.

“What can I say? You gotta do what you gotta do, brother.”

You laughed and Sam passed the hat to Colby. Colby took a deep breath and reached into the hat. “Never have I ever given or received a lap dance.”

Everyone reached for the lemon juice and you chuckled. You took your “shots” at the same time and you blinked a few times.

“That was a pleasant surprise,” you kidded.

Colby passed you the hat and you gently put your hand in and pulled one out.

“Never have I ever been skinny dipping.”

You, Sam, and Colby reached for the lemon juice.

“(Y/N)? YOU have been skinny dipping?” Colby asked with a raised eyebrow.

“That is a story for another time,” you said as you took down your lemon juice. “Oh it’s worse the second time!” you yelled as you set the glass back on the table. Jake just laughed and you playfully shoved him.

Behind you, the door opened and Jace came running out. “Mommy! Mommy! Look at this pitcher I drawed!”

Jace came running into the living room and he stood in front of you. He held his drawing out in front of you and you smiled.

“That’s beautiful! Can I buy it from you?”

“Mommy you can have it for fwee,” he said.

You got the picture from him and you gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you very much.”

“No pwobwem,” he said. He turned to walk away but he stopped in front of Colby. “Mommy can I pway?”

“Jace, this is for the grown ups you should go back.”

“Pwease,” he begged, drawing out the “e”.

“Sam, can he stay for a question?” you asked.

“Sure.”

“Okay, buddy, you can play.”

“Yay!” he squealed and he wedged himself between you and Colby. You smiled down at him and he looked at you.

“Here’s your question: have you ever stayed up past your bedtime?”

Jace sat there for a minute in thought before he looked back at you. “I don’t wanna pway this game anymore,” he said. You laughed and he giggled.

“Okay then. Now run along,” you told him. He hopped up and he ran back to the room Sam had him in earlier.

“(Y/N) that was so cute. Can I keep that in the video?” Sam asked.

“Normally, I’d say no, but it’s you guys so why not?” you told him.

“Thank you sooooo much! Anyway, back to the game. Jake, you’re up.”

You guys sat around and played a few more rounds. You laughed until your stomach hurt and you had more than a few more lemon juice shots. Your mouth was sour and you had started getting a bad cough.

“Alright guys I think that’s a wrap. We’ve learned a whole lot of information about each other that I’m not sure we ever wanted to know...” Sam said and everyone laughed. “Don’t forget to like and subscribe and I’ll put all these guys links in the description,” Sam said and pointed at you guys. You waved bye to the camera and Sam got up to turn it off.

“So how long are you here for?” Jake asked you.

“Well I’ve got a hotel for the night but I’ll probably head back tomorrow.”

“(Y/N)! We told you: NO HOTELS! We’ve know each other for what feels like forever. You’re staying with one of us,” Colby said and looked at you. “You’re staying with one of us.”

“Alright then,” you chuckled. “Just didn’t think y’all would have room for me and Jace,” you said.

“I do,” Colby said with a smile. You smiled back and then he looked at you with puppy dog eyes. “If you’re staying with me, does that mean you can stay a few extra days?”

“Let me check and see, but it should be no problem,” you said. The boys cheered and you smiled. You called for Jace and he toddled in. He came to the couch and he stood in front of Jake.

“Uncle Jakey can I sit wif you?” he pouted and stuck his hands up.

“Of course you can,” Jake said and scooped him up. He laughed and Jake sat and played with him for a little while. You smiled at them and you pulled out your phone and snapped a picture of them.

You made some conversation and you guys talked about your plans for the weekend. You were gonna find a babysitter and you were gonna spend some quality time with Jake, Sam, and Colby.

As the night winded down, you said goodbye to Sam and Jake and you walked with Colby and Jace back to Colby’s apartment. You left Jace with Colby as you went and got your’s and Jace’s stuff from the car. You came up and Colby was playing with Jace on the floor.

“I hope you don’t mind,” you said as you came in, “but Jace brought a few of his favorite toys.”

“RACE CAR!” Jace squealed and he ran towards you with his hands outstretched. You shot Colby a look and he smiled at you.

“Race cars? No way! Those are my favorite, too!” he told Jace and he nodded at you. You reached in one of the bags and you pulled out two of his cars and you handed them to Jace. He ran back over to Colby and he plopped on the floor in front of him.

“You can pway wif my fawit one,” he said and handed Colby one of the cars. Colby gasped and thanked him profusely and then they began to roll the cars back and forth on the ground. You smiled at them and then you went and set your stuff down next to the couch. You sat down and watched as they played and you gave input when Jace asked for it. When he started yawning, you scooped him up in your arms and you kissed his head.

“I think it’s time for someone to go to bed,” you said. Jace scrunched his face up and looked at you.

“I’m not tired,” he whined. You just chuckled and you hugged him.

“Okay, if you’re not tied, then I guess you can’t watch tv with me and Colby,” you told him and looked at Colby. He chuckled and you looked down at Jace.

“Maybe I’m a wittle tired,” he said. You laughed and you went and you got his night clothes and his toothbrush and toothpaste. Colby showed you where the bathroom was and you helped Jace get ready for bed. When he was done, you carried him back to the living room and you sat on the couch with him in your lap. Colby day next to you guys and turned on the tv.

Jace drifted off to sleep within minutes of Colby turning on the show. You just chuckled and you stroked his hair.

“If you want to go to bed, you can go with him in mine,” Colby offered.

“And where would you sleep?” you countered.

“I can sleep on the couch.”

“Colby I couldn’t do that to you. Plus, this is your house. You can sleep in your bed. Do you have an air mattress?” you asked.

“Let me check,” Colby said. He got up quietly so he wouldn’t disturb Jace. He went and he checked his closet. “No but I have spare sheets. Let me go check at Sam’s place really quick.” Colby left and you sat on the couch watching Jace sleep. He was like a little angel, while he was asleep anyway. You chuckled to yourself and Colby came back with something rolled under his arm.

“He had one but it’s gonna make some noise and it might wake him up,” Colby said.

“It’ll be okay. He needs to get up anyway so I can put him in bed,” you told him.

Colby nodded and he moved the table before he unrolled the mattress. He found and outlet and plugged it in and it started whirring. Jace woke up and rubbed his eyes. He was a little grumpy.

“It’s okay, baby,” you cooed in his ear. “Just getting the bed ready.”

“I’m not sweepy,” he tried. But his head dropped back over on you.

“Sure you’re not,” you whispered to him.

Soon, the mattress finished blowing up and you went to help Colby put the sheets on.

“You’re sure that you’ll be okay out here?” he asked after you finished putting on the blankets and pillows.

“We will be fine. It’s not like you’re leaving us out on the streets,” you told him. He looked down and you smiled.

“Only if you’re sure,” he said. You shook your head and you turned back to get Jace. You scooped him up and you went to put him on the mattress.

“Mommy?” he asked you with a tired voice.

“Yes?”

“Can I sleep wif Uncle Colby?”

“I don’t think he wants another-“

“It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you,” Colby said. You asked him if he was sure and he just nodded his head.

“Okay you can sleep with him,” you said. Jace gave a tired smile and you carried him upstairs to Colby’s room. You put him on the bed and you tucked him in. You planted a kiss on his forehead and then you walked back out to the living room.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” you asked him.

“It’s not like you’re leaving me on the streets,” he said, mocking your tone from earlier. You rolled your eyes and he laughed at you. “Yes, I’ll be alright. As long as he won’t eat me in my sleep, I think I’ll survive.”

“Fine. He might get up early and if he does just get me and you can go back to sleep. And if he wakes up and is hungry-“

“(Y/N), it’ll be alright. Just get some sleep,” he told you. He walked by and gave you a hug before he headed upstairs. You let out a sigh and you grabbed your stuff out of your back before you got ready for bed.

When you finished, you went around and you picked up Jace’s stuff and you cleaned up a little. You plugged up your phone and you set it down and you crawled onto the mattress. You rolled over and you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

You woke up the next morning to the smell of food and the sound of something sizzling. You sat up and looked to see Colby in the kitchen. You whirled around and looked for Jace and you found he was sitting on the floor near Colby, playing with some cars that you’re not sure how he found them.

“Look who’s finally up,” Colby said as he turned to look at you.

“Since when have you ever kept food in your kitchen that wasn’t take out?” you asked as you walked to the kitchen.

“Never! I just stole from Sam,” he said.

“Teaching my child bad behavior? Wow,” you said. Colby’s eyes got wide and you chuckled. “I’m kidding.”

He laughed and turned around and checked the breakfast. “You’re up just in time! Breakfast is ready!”

“Yay!” Jace squealed as he got up. You helped him sit at the counter and you sat down next to him.

“This is gonna get messy,” you told Colby. He laughed as he spilt the breakfast onto three plates and he set two of them in front of you and Jace. You dug in and you groaned. “Oh this is so good.”

“Easy, (Y/N), there’s a child in our midst,” he joked. You giggled and kept eating.

You hung out the rest of the day with Colby and you found a babysitter that could watch Jace for the night. You hung out with the guys and you ate dinner and you went and had some fun. You even filmed a few tik toks with the boys. You had a ton of fun.

The next day, Sam uploaded his video. You were gonna be honest, you were a little nervous. Your child was going to be on a YouTube video. But you trusted Sam and you knew that everything was going to be alright.

Later that night, you were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when you got a text from Sam.

“Check our the comments on the video.”

You pulled your laptop form out of your bag and you pulled up YouTube. You got to the video and you checked out the comments. Everyone was saying Jace looked like Colby. You were a little shocked. If anything, you thought he looked more like Sam.

Seek had bright blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. He face was round and his cheeks always had a red tint to them. His nose was round like a button and he had a small freckle. In your opinion, he looked nothing like Colby.

You clicked on the video and you made sure to like it before you skipped through it. You got to the part where Jace came in and you played it. Jace came toddling in and he sat next to you. You asked him his question and he answered. He smiled then-

You gasped as you paused the video. The smile. Colby and Jace were smiling at the same time, and it was the same. The same smiled that you loved years ago and still loved to see, it was reflected in your child. Your eyes watered and you closed your laptop. You couldn’t believe it.

You got up and you went to the bathroom and cleaned your face. You were a little stunned. You couldn’t unsee what you saw, and honestly, you were glad about it.

You walked out and Colby was there in the living room.

“Where’s Jace?” he asked.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but he took a nap in your bed,” you said.

“I told you, I really don’t mind,” Colby said.

You stood there for a moment and then he cleared his throat.

“Did you see those comments on the video?” Colby asked you.

“Uh, yea,” you say and clasp your hands behind your back. “I did.”

“I-“

“I’m really sorry. I had no clue that people would think he was your kid or anything. I know that can probably mess up your career or something and-“

“(Y/N). Don’t worry about it. I was gonna say I’m sorry people think he’s mine. I know he’s not so it doesn’t matter what they think.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Really. And it would be an honor if he was. He’s a good kid, you know that right?”

“I know,” you said. “I just get worried sometimes.”

“You shouldn’t be. You’re doing a great job and you’ve got a great kid,” he said as he walked closer to you. You looked up at him as he left only a small bit of space between you. You looked up at him and locked eyes. His blue orbs sparkled back at you. Then you looked at his lips and you knew he had to see it.

He leaned over closer, faces centimeters apart. “Can I?”

You leaned up and kissed him gently, but getting more fierce by the second. You had wanted this moment for so long, and it was finally here.

You pulled away and smiled at him. “If that wasn’t clear, then yes, anytime. Except for in front of Jace. Not yet,” you told him with a wink. He shook his head and then he put his forehead against yours.

“It sucks that you’re gonna have to go so soon,” he said and sighed. You just smiled.

“You know, I can probably look for something over here. With my experience, I’m sure I could get a job,” you told him.

“All of that for me?” he asked and pulled away.

“Not only do you like me,” you started and made eye contact, “but you care for Jace, too. You love hanging out with him and I think it’s safe to say he likes hanging out with you, too. Plus, we’ve known each other for years and we’ve been through a lot. But if it’s not a good idea, I can figure something out.”

He pulled you back to him, arms wrapping around you and chin resting on your head. “I think it’s a great idea and I’m on board. Let’s give it a shot.”

You bummed and you guys stood there for a moment.

“One thing though,” Colby said and you froze.

“Yeah?”

“Can you buy me some race cars, too?”

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Rescued Undercover

My first Chicago PD imagine so I hope you all enjoy it.. 

Happy Reading Dollies.

Warning- Kidnapping, abduction, drinking, swearing, violence, mention of sex, touching of a women with out permission, creepy-perverted guys, self conscious about the readers body. Just be cautious when reading if you're triggered by the warnings. 

(Gif credit @whumpslist)

"All right. Any volunteers"? Voight asked. Everyone quickly raised their hands.

"Alright, no. I've been running and getting paperwork all morning. I think I'm due". Adam said rather fast as he came running in the room. You didn't know how he could have heard what was happening all the way down stairs. He must have super hearing or he just really wanted to go visit a sex club.

"It has to be a couple". Voight spoke to the crew. The investigation was taking a turn to kinky in a matter of seconds and you didn't want no part of it. So you went back to working until Antonio put his hand on your shoulder and volunteered the both of you for the assignment.

"We'll do it, Y/N and I". You knocked him in the gut since it was at arms reach.

"No, I'm not doing that". Shaking your head, you didn't like this idea at all. "You are all insane for even bringing me into this conversation".

"If she doesn't want to, I'll do it". Adam confessed. "Antonio and I would make a good couple, right baby"? Adam walked over to Antonio all sexy like, wrapping his arm around Antonio's shoulder and sticking out his lips to kiss him on the cheek.

"Dude, stop". Antonio pushed Adam off of him with discussed. Adam looked hurt.

"Alright, Antonio and Y/N go get ready, we'll leave in twenty". Voight ordered everyone, leaving you to groan and giving Antonio a evil eye who was smiling up a storm as you went to the locker room to change.

Looking in the mirror for the millionth time, you didn't want to this. First you hated to wear dresses and you thought you looked like a complete fool for even trying on the dress. This was not you.

Erin entered the room, clicking her tongue starring at you. "You look hot". She gushed.

"Please stop, I look like a cow that had a baby with a giant eggplant". "This is not me, I can't believe Antonio and Voight". You confessed as you held back tears.

"Y/N, you are a wonderful detective so just think of this as playing a part of some big operation and have fun with it". Erin hugged you from behind, it made you feel a little better.

"It is part of a big operation ..... of crime". You told her dramatically which made you both laugh.

"Hey guys lets..." Jay came around the corner, stopping in silence.

"What"? You looked around at what he was looking at.

"You look great". He smiled.

"Um, thanks". You blushed.

"Can we get this over with"? Gathering your things you headed out to the garage where Adam and Alvin were standing at the car.

"My word, you look nice". Alvin spoke making your smile even brighter.

"Yeah, what he said". "You clean up good there Y/L/N". Adam cooed making it hard for you not to blush even more. After what was just said your confidence grew and you were getting excited for this undercover mission.

Antonio and Voight came out of the building. Antonio was fixing his cufflinks until his eyes met you. He stopped dead in his tracks, he was speechless. There was a release of butterflies  in his stomach that suddenly made Antonio nervous, ever guy in that club will be starring at you and he didn't like that one bit.

"Wow, you look incredible, beautiful". Antonio rambled until he heard snickering from Adam.

"Thank you, you look great too". You spoke shyly, pushing a strain of hair back behind your ear. Your cheeks beet red and the heat from them made you start to sweat thinking what have you gotten yourself into with Antonio and a sex club?

"Alright, everyone put their tongues back in their mouths and lets go". Erin shooed them away from looking at you. You thanked her quietly.

Having not been in the club five minutes you screamed internally, this was crazy. What people in their right mind would want to come here and do this in front of people. If you're feeling frisky with your partner go home and watch porn together, at least your home with out wondering eyes, you thought. Your mind racing and your heart feeling like its going to jump out of your chest, Antonio placed his hand on your lower back like he could sense that you were nervous.

"You okay"? He whispered in your ear as he rubbed your back.

"Yeah, just really not use to all this". You told him honestly.

"I'm here, just focus on me and the job".

Walking up to the bar Antonio pulled you closer to him, making you feel safer and at ease. Well until a patron at the bar started looking you up and down licking his lips. You could feel him undressing you in his mind, you wanted to hurl and maybe it would end up on his shoes and he would run away in disgust.

"What can I get you"? The bartender asked, wiping down the bar.

"A beer for me and a martini for my lady here". Antonio winked at you.

"Coming up". The bartender rushed to get your drinks.

Sitting there you played with Antonio's hand that was on your leg, trying to take your mind off of the guy starring you down. Antonio noticed it too, he turned toward you, moving your hair away from your neck brought his lips to your neck and kissed you. Your eyes grew wide, this was not in the job description.

"Just go with it". He mumbled to you.

"Go with what, what are you two doing"? You heard Adam smirk through the ear piece you were wearing.

"Shut up". You could hear Erin tell Adam that probably lead with a smack to the head by Alvin which made you giggle just imagining it.

"Here you are". The bartender brought drinks plus two more that you didn't order.

"We didn't...".

"The gentleman at the end of the bar". The bartender nodded to the creep that hasn't took his eyes off you since you walked in at the end of the bar of all people.

Antonio held up his beer to thank him which made him come over. "Great".

Your hold on Antonio hand became stronger, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Hello". The guy came over sitting right beside you.

"Hi". You quietly said.

"What are you two here for, to watch or join"?

"Maybe a little bit of both". Antonio spoke.

The guy stuck out his hand for Antonio to shake it and introduced himself.

"I'm Johnny Marks, but people around here call me Big Johnny". He smiled at you as you tried to hold down your lunch.

"I'm Antonio and my wife Y/N". You both smiled at Marks.

"Well, well isn't nice seeing new faces and pretty ones at that". Marks raised his hand running it along your cheek. Antonio tensed up, balling his fist up. You trembled. For the place to be very warm his hands were ice cold.

Marks chuckled so did Antonio to ease the tensed and you smiled.

"So how does this sound, we go to one of the back room and have some fun"? Marks suggested.

"We were just...". Antonio spoke but you cut him off.

"That sounds great, lead the way".

"Y/L/N what the hell are you doing"? Voight asked over the ear piece.

The back room was dark with a red tint, you could smell the sex and alcohol strongly. Marks stepped aside for Antonio and you to go in first. The idea of going in there with him was bad but you knew that he was a creep that was up to know good, you could feel it in your gut and Voight always told you to trust your gut even if you were wrong.

"Nice place". You said to get the conversation started again.

"It gets a little boring after awhile, they could spice it up a bit". Marks sighed when he sat down, patting the seat next to him signaling to you.

"I imagine, so what kind of spices do you like"? You asked seductively, dancing your fingers on his hand which he gave a chuckle.

"I like everything". Marks said getting in your face, you could smell the cigar on his breathe, you tried not to gag.

"Well we're just seeing what we like, we're a simple couple". Antonio spoke up, making Marks look at him unhappy that he interrupted your moment.

"Glad you ran into me then cause I will give you the time of your life". "You'll never forget it". Marks laughed with a yellow toothy grin, giving off more creepy vibes.

There was a knock at the door and the bartender entered. "Sorry to interrupt but is there a Mr. Antonio in here"? The bartender's voice trembled as he look at Marks.

"Yeah that's me". Antonio said getting closer to the door.

"You have a visitor at the bar".

"Who is it"? Antonio questioned, he didn't know if this was a trap or if really someone was asking for him, so he turned to you.

"Go, I'll be fine". You assured him.

"I'll make sure she's happy when you come back". Marks winked at Antonio.

"Don't you do anything stupid". Antonio warned pointing at Marks.

"Come this way sir". The bartender stepped out of the way from Antonio to follow him.

"He's very protective of you". Marks observed.

"Yes, he is". A smile started to grow on your face as well as your blush returning. Marks hummed thinking.

Marks and you sat in silence for what seemed to be forever until there was a knock at the door. You sighed a sigh of relief thinking it was Antonio but to your demise it was two big guys that came in and locked the door guarding it.

"Where's Antonio". You asked, which made you sound dumb because the two guys laughed.

"It looks like he's going to be awhile so why don't we have some fun while we wait, shall we". Marks nodded to the guys guarding the door, they rushed over grabbing you. One grabbed your shoulders and the other grabbed your feet. Blood curdling screams came from you as they took you out a back door that was in the room that your didn't even see when you came in. All you could think was this was it for you. Your gut was right but it got you into trouble at the same time.

"ANTONIO"!!! You wailed, through what you guessed was a hallway. It was pitch black and you couldn't hear anything, no music, no people just the echo of your screams.

"Please you sick fucks". You begged but in your own way.

Thrashing around only made their grips grow stronger. Where were they taking you, what were they going to do to you when they got there? Your mind raced and you felt a little light headed. Suddenly they came to a halt, Marks took out keys well you thought they were keys because of the jingle they made. You were right, the door he opened lead outside to a black van with blacked out windows, the door was opened. It had two other women duct taped and crying inside. One of the giants took out tape and taped your feet together then your hands and they slung you into the van, you landed with a thump to your chest, making you gasp for air as it was knocked out of you. They slammed the door shut.

"Are you two okay"? You asked the two women as you wiggled and acted like a worm to sit up straight against the wall of the van.

They both nodded, to scared to talk. They looked so scared and worried, you were too but had to be brave if you were getting out of this alive. You didn't just have you to worry about now.

Hearing the men standing outside arguing about waiting to get another women now or leaving before the cops come. They chose the stupid yet good for you idea and waiting to find another woman. Meaning it gave the team time to find you which you hope was soon.

Meanwhile in the club Antonio panicked as he couldn't find you, the team would blame him if anything happened to you but he would blame himself more if you were harmed.

"Antonio think". Voight questioned him, Antonio heard your screams for him in your head piece before it got knocked out by your thrashing around.

"Johnny Marks has her or as he's known around here Big Johnny".

Antonio went up to the bar, grabbing the bartender by the collar of his shirt pulling him over the counter.

"Where are they"? Antonio yelled in his face.

"I don't know". The bartender trembled his voice shaky.

"You're working with him, I know it". "You got me to come out so he could take her so you better speak the fuck up, because I will make sure that you get celled with someone that with make you their bitch and it won't be the pretty prison love story". Antonio threatened.

"If I was you I would talk or Antonio is going to paint the floor with your body parts". Adam came over grabbing the guy, trying to talk some sense into him.

"I just get the guy out, I have no part in kidnapping and selling the women". The bartender squealed like a pig. Antonio's and Erin's heart dropped, you were going to be sold to some other creep?

"See that wasn't to hard". "Now where are they"?

"The room you were in has a back door to it which leads out to the back parking lot but you'd probably missed them by now".

"For a someone that doesn't have much to do with the women you sure know a lot about the escape route". Adam pushed him to Jay so he could cuff him.

The crew worked up their next plan when Marks (Big Johnny) came walking in like nothing happened and to find his next victim. Antonio jumped him as soon as he saw him before he had the chance to run.

Antonio got a few good punches in before he was pulled off by Alvin. Adam and Jay held Marks up against the wall as the beating he just took, took a lot out of him.

"Where is Y/N"? Voight asked, his voice echoed the room.

"Who are we talking about now"? Marks shrugged. laughing.

"My wife, Y/N". Antonio yelled going after him but was held back again. Jay and Adam looked at each other "Wife" they mouthed to each other, Antonio was taking this undercover a little to serious they thought.

"Oh her, she left with two big guys". "She looked like she was enjoying herself".

"You piece of shit". Erin punched him in the jaw, walking way when Voight pulled her away.

"I want this placed search, inside and out". "Tear it to shreds, burn it down if you have to, just find her".

Antonio, Adam and Erin took the back while the others searched inside. They had found your ear piece and even one of your bracelets at the dumpster but no other sign of you. This made them fear for your life now.

Going back inside Antonio grabbed the bartender again. Slapping him around. "You know more than you're telling us". "They have her and if they so much as a lay a finger on her because you're scared, I'll kill you myself".

The bartender looked at Antonio and then to Marks. "You'll have to protect me from him". He nodded to Marks.

"Done".

"They have a black van, they usually take four women at a time and Big Johnny is the master of it all, he pays all of us to work for him and to keep us quiet".

"Hey, I saw a black van outside but it was sitting on the other side of the street". Erin described.

Antonio ran through the room and out the back door with the team right behind him. They spotted the van, it was right where Erin saw it. They surrounded it quietly trying not to spook the men in front of the van chatting and smoking up.

Voight gave signal to Erin, Jay and Adam to take the guys out in front and him and Antonio would look inside. With guns drawled they took the guys down with ease, for kidnappers they folded quickly when telling where the women were.

Back inside the van you worked at the tape, taking your heel and poking a hole to tear it apart. You quickly untapped the two other women, telling them to stay quiet and still. Looking around you found a crowbar laying behind the passenger seat. Grabbing it, you heard voices. It was hard to hear but you could make out that it was Adam and Jay yelling. It felt like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your chest, tears started to form. You eased as the door opened and there stood Antonio and Voight with their guns and a smile on their faces. The ambulance pulling in the parking lot.

You gave no warning when you flung yourself on Antonio, not wanting to let go. His arms wrapped around you tightly, your necks in the crease of each others neck.

"I'm so sorry". Antonio tearfully sobbed, his hand stroking your hair to calm you.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let us go into that room with him, it was a bad call". You sobbed back.

"Hey, you did what you thought was right and you were spot on, you save those two women and more women in the future". Antonio pushed your hair out of your face, his hands cupped your face and he pulled you in for a kiss. That surprised you and everyone.

Erin's jaw dropped as she pointed at the picture that was going on in front of her. Jay stood there wide eyed.

"Aren't you going to stop that"? Adam questioned Voight.

"I'll talk to them later, lets get these scumbags locked in the cage, see if we can get more information out of them". Voight walked away with Erin and Jay snickering behind him leaving Adam confused and annoyed. Antonio and you not giving a care in the world on what was going on, just the embrace of each other mattered.

[bedlamgames]

Q&A #103

Today we have the Twine conversion, lesbian training mantras, social lube, a bunch of random stuff from the discord, and a whole lot more. 

[Anonymous said]: I'm really curious what the tally means for your twine conversion posts. Can't seem to figure out what its suppose to represent progress wise...

- Answered this last Q&A. Because of you asking I’ve now also added the explanation to what it’s about to every stream post so I hope that helped with understanding what’s going on with that.

[Anonymous said]: Suggestion: For races that start with a random corruption (ie: Succubi), have an option in full custom to spend points to either narrow what that corruption is (to be one of the four types, for example) or to outright pick one (for a much higher cost).

- That’s a good idea. Being able to pick specifically I think would be too much. There are ALOT of corruptions so that would mean many many menus to be able to select everything. Being able to pick one of the four types seems fair to me as something to spend points on in Full Custom. Added it to my notes. 

[Anonymous said]: Have a succubus slaver who used to be a lamia. On level up, she had the option to get the Fleet trait, which I thought was off-limits for Lamia due to their body shape. I think it's a bug?

- Good spot and should be fixed as of the last update. 

[Anonymous said]: Noticed a bug with No Haven 0.903: If you select a human (or once-human) for your character, and then quick restart, your next character will keep the human's Racial aspect Social Lube. On the topic of that Racial, it says " includes one human, and three other different races/subtypes gain an additional Success" Does that mean one human and three non-humans, or one human and three slavers each of a different race from each other?

-Took me awhile to work this out as going from human to human seemed fine. However you’re right that those with a heritage like demi-angels or succubi will incorrectly keep the previous racial. 

The second so as long as you have at least one human you can get the buff by say having a northerner, noble, wastelander, and convent. 

[Anonymous said]: hi bud, xfto/x421 here, its been a long time i guess. wanted to ask about the status of the no haven/twine conversation. i joined your picardo lately but couldnt post some reports since you dont allow guest-posts. well anyway, the report is about something ridiculous i have found after some restarts, the chosen main charakter (lamia) starts as male with the hard carry aspect(immense shaft) and different description than the ones the perks would give. 1/2

another question, feels like i asked something similiar in the past, how about the integration of different artpacks/access to older pics, or deletion of those that never get used? i guess that would requiere some more access to the game than you allow atm. maybe with twine? do you have a roadmap on tfgames or somewhere for the future of no haven? i know there are some more races you want to implement and improve some systems, but thats it, hope you are doing well in these times. 2/2

I do an update on the patreon every two weeks which is linked on the twitter. You do not need to be a patron to read these and is the best way to stay informed about what I’ve been up to. That includes the status of the conversion. To quickly sum it up;

It's at a stage where all the RAGS to Twine code conversion is basically done. What I need to do now is translate all that work into something playable and there's currently big logic issues with a bunch of the conditions and passages. So what I'm currently doing is trying to tidy up the visual look of the code with a bunch of idents with the theory that will make finding the errors easier.

Alas it’s not me disallowing guest posts... Picarto had some massive stonking issues and so they locked things down hard due to that preventing guests from chatting. I suggest a throwaway email site to get around that.

I don’t think there’s any art in the game file that’s not used as I try to keep on top of deleting the old ones. Not really down for doing art packs of the old ones as due to that not being my art so I see them as placeholder only until they can be replaced by commissions. 

I probably do need to do some kind of roadmap sometime. I’m less keen as it’s kind of a dirty word these days as due to the miss-use of them by others it’s got some bad connontations, but I’m also aware the alternative which is me randomly mentioning stuff on discord/picarto streams leaves the vast majority of my audience in the dark which is also really not ideal.

[Anonymous said]: [no haven 0.903] [Crit no longer grants Bimboborn] okay, but how do I get bimboborn now?

- It’s a corruption. Specifically Blessings of Perversion. 

[Anonymous said]: With the change to training where hypnotic slavers can fully embed the relevant mantras for blowjob, bimbo, and sissy training, could we also get that for lesbian training?

- Yes that’s the plan when I do the third part of lesbian training. Got a set of commissions planned just got to sort the funding and work out who I’m getting to do it. 

[Anonymous said]: hey bud, x421 here, again, might be already fixed because thats from no haven .903, but i recently had the witch queen super rare quest, you might want to proof read the quest and results, there are a few typos. i really did enjoy the writing nonetheless, just a quick question about that quest, as far as i understood this one, you only change your odds of the final result depending on how good you do on your way to the final, but the reward in the end only depends on the final result? 1/2

2/2 it just dawned on me that its been a while since you made an Q&A post so i guess i ll go and lurk on the tfgames forum in the next days, just one last question: i asked early in development about camp upgrades and you were not that convinced about that stuff, i understand you want the slaver camp as some bandit camp and not some castle/bastion or whatever, but since you added camp upgrades, maybe add proximity to a certain region? or something to spend supplies and gold in a 13month+ run?

- Hah! Okay will give it another read through.That’s correct yes. There’s also rewards on the way if you Critical those parts. 

There is a new gold sink coming soon in an upcoming update. I’ve also got plans for more camp upgrades coming later. 

[From the Patreon]: I'm that guy you replied to about the patch notes in Q&A 101. Solid updates. Bugs in the outfit system has driven me nuts since like, 2015, has it been that long already? I think it has. I like collecting them and something always blows up. This time, I ended up with a slaver wearing both the ooze outfit and ponygirl outfit. So there's that. Also I was disappointed the new Quicker then You'd Like wasn't interactive. Solid in any case though, thanks!

- I'll get them all one day I swear! Don't suppose you remember the chain of events that led to that? New QAYL was a patron requested one with the idea of having a big pay off for playing submissive which often involves playing sub-optimally.

[From the Patreon]: 1-ive been noticing when you choose to repick choices for an slave training assignment the slave gets added to the list of choices 2-also just how rare is the post-slave princess city assignment, cause i can never seem to get it even after selling multiple slave princesses 3-another thing is that the nightly puppet-leader stat is almost impossible to get again(either that or i have bedwarmers incapable of usurping me even thought i my current stats mean i couldnt win against even the subbiest slave)

- Will check 3 as you've not been the only person to mention that. 2 I know exists for sure as other people have definitely got it. Should be no rarer than any other rare City assignment, and thanks for the spot on 1.

[From the Discord]: Top 3 Animes of the 2010 to 2020

Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica the series was staggeringly good. Just redefined what anime could be to me. Film is a... well it was a thing. A beautiful thing with an ending which I still quite know how to feel about. 

Shirobako. It’s about creativity, craft, and about how people can come together to make something. It might not be something good, but dangit it’s been made and that’s worthwhile. It’s also from personal experience by miles the most accurate depiction of working in an office I’ve ever seen.

Oh man this is very very hard deciding on the third so pick one of the following and I could probably make a strong case for it. 

Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon, Darling in the FranXX (yes really, yes even the ending), Lupin III: Part 5, Kill la Kill, Monster Musume, Flip Flappers, Demi-chan wa Kataritai, Zombieland Saga, or Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai.

Also while I was taking the question to mean series both Your Name and Promare are absolutely phenonemal films. 

[From the Discord]: Best recent Eurovision Act

Lena. Always Lena. 

[From the Discord]: What's the agricultural technological level of No Haven like 

It’s not hit industrialization yet. What makes the difference is and allows cities like Aversol and even bigger to exist is that the organization of the human empire is far better than it has any right to be for the other levels of development being able to keep an incredibly complex supply chain constantly flowing even if on the ground level it barely seems to be moving at all. There are also some much, much larger farms both on the Great Plains and further to the north compared to the much more isolated single/couple of households ones that your slavers raid. 

[From the Discord]: What have been some of your all-time favourite assignments, both in terms of working on them and how they turned out?

Love When Week’s End Comes for a recent one. Writing all the results in colour commentary (and all the variations for weather, events and outcomes) was a real challenge and I do like how it came out. 

Witch-Queen and Arisin’ for being the first times I tried to go for a different, more potentially disturbing/freaky mood, and I’m pleased with the results. 

Sable Masquerade as I really like the ‘bad end’ I came up with. Actually I like the whole thing as while the pitch from the patron obviously helped, a lot of it was inspired by a random superhero bondage party picture I saw on HF, which I decided to run with, and had a bunch of fun exploring. 

[From the Discord]: Weirdest bug and most difficult bug

The one that resulted in a male wisp riding a griffon was a fun one. 

Most difficult has to be the clothing management which as a previous question suggests I’ve still not entirely solved. 

[From the Discord]: If No Haven was an MMO, what race/class would you play?

Kreen rogue mainly as I really like the edit I did for the portrait which MidnightonMars later translated into a commission. 

If not definitely a lamia. 

[From the Discord]: Knowing what you do now about the design of the game, are there any game mechanics you wish you'd have implemented differently?

Clothing management. So very much clothing management. I’ve redone it entirely twice now, and it’s still not where I want it to be. 

[From the Discord]: What was your inspiration for creating the setting of No Haven?  Has the direction the game has gone varied from your initial idea? If so what has been the biggest change?

- It started off with adapting the chan game Deeper Dungeons which was basically a certain popular mmo with nothing different about it outside of it being porn along with some possibly unwise options of personal abuse. I first changed it by ditching gnomes for neko which to my mind was a clear upgrade. There even used to be an examine refference in the RAGS version to suggest they’d been in the region of the dungeons before being driven out.

Then it was a gradual process of adding with the occasional subtractions to get it closer to a more Warhammer feeling setting which has always been a major love of mine when I was still doing Whorelock’s in RAGS.

With No Haven it was a case of building on what I’ve done there and expanding upon that with the race lore and assignment descriptions. Biggest was probably when I did the favoured/unfavoured stuff and added a ton of extra backstory to various races to justify the choices made there. 

[pizzahorse]

Better To Have Loved

Title: Better To Have Loved

Fandom: Tangled: The Series

Description: Rapunzel and Cassandra have a much needed heart to heart after the events caused by the Wand of Forgetting.

[Read on AO3]

"Do you think if you had found me in the tower instead of Eugene, I would have fallen in love with you?"

Cassandra had been keeping first watch again. She heard everyone go off to bed, and assumed Rapunzel had joined them, until she appeared next to her. Her legs were curled up to her chest, and the princess was uncharacteristically silent. Cassandra theorized Rapunzel probably had a nightmare shortly after falling asleep, and just wanted some company until she grew tired again. They'd frequently gone through a similar routine at the castle, before they set off to follow the Black Rocks. The quietness normally suited Cassandra, but with Rapunzel around, it felt a little weird. Her question several minutes later did not make things any less weird.

"Anything is possible, Raps," she replied, trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that she had wished more times than she could count that she had been the one to rescue Rapunzel.

"So you do think we could have-"

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know," This really wasn't a discussion she wanted to have, especially not after she had gotten a glimpse of an alternate reality where her secret dream came true.

"Do you think it's too late for us to?"

"What?"

"Fall in love."

Cassandra whipped around, heart fluttering in her chest as she tried to process what she had just heard. She must have fallen asleep while on watch. This was all a dream. Just another fantasy her subconscious had conjured. Wake up, wake up, wake up! her brain yelled, as her gaze settled on the princess. Her chin was nestled into her knees as she stared out at the forest. She looked gorgeous in the moonlight. She looked gorgeous in the sunlight, too. Cassandra shook her head, trying to clear it of delusional thoughts. Rapunzel was always curious about the world around her, and this was probably just another passing fancy that she simply wanted to explore.

"What about Eugene?" The reminder of Rapunzel's current romantic and nearly betrothed partner helped steady Cassandra's nerves and bring her back down to Earth.

Rapunzel stretched out her legs, letting them dangle towards the ground. Her hands fidgeted in her lap for a moment, before her fingers moved to trace patterns in the smooth rock where they were both perched. "Ever since you used the Wand of Forgetting on me, everything's been really confusing. Eugene was the first person I can ever remember meeting, besides Moth- Gothel. But now I have memories of you being the first person I ever met. Experiencing the world for the first time, not with Eugene, but with you.

"Everything was so frightening. Seeing a world outside my tower for the first time. But you were there, and your smile was so warm and comforting, I didn't feel like I had to be afraid. Even though I had no idea where I was or what danger lay ahead, I knew you would take care of and protect me. You made it not so scary," Rapunzel offered up one of her not-so-rare smiles, thinking of the alternate memories of her first taste of freedom.

"I know you aren't normally very affectionate, but I distinctly remember you letting me lean up against you by the campfire, without protest. And I felt the same feelings I first felt with Eugene coming to the surface every time I looked at you. I thought about how nice it was to talk to and bond with another person. You looked so beautiful under the starlight, right before I figured out you were taking me the wrong way."

"Raps, I am far from beautiful," Cassandra smiled wanly, "But I appreciate the sentiment. I'm sure anyone looks good when you've been cooped up with Gothel all your life," the small hint of positive emotion left as her face fell. "I'm still so sorry I cast that spell on you. You didn't deserve to relive all that fear and uncertainty again. I try so hard to protect you, and I was the one who put you in danger. I put this entire mission in jeopardy, because I let my emotions get the best of me," she growled as she balled her good hand into a fist, still beating herself up over her mistake.

"Would it be bad if I said I think I'm glad it happened?"

"What? Why?"

"Because it helped me realize I've always thought you were beautiful, Cass," the princess ignored her friend's previous denial, "but I just thought it was in the way one girl can appreciate another girl who is attractive. Since the memory incident, I've been wondering... If you had found me first, why couldn't it have been you I fell in love with? Random chance brought Eugene to the tower, and it could have just as easily led you there. How would my life- our lives- be different?

"At first, I thought the feeling would go away. I know I'm not going to forget what happened, but it isn't reality. It's how things could have happened, not the way they did happen. But they... did happen, in some way. I was there and you were there. You're always there for me, Cass.

"Even though you didn't find me in the tower, you did find me in the castle. You found me in your own way. You were my first best friend. Every time I look into my future, I see you right by my side. I can't imagine going a day without seeing you, without spending time with you. I don't just want you by my side, I want you by my side. Close to me, like-" Rapunzel blew a puff of air at some stray hair, knocking it out of her eyes. It seemed to be an excuse not to finish her previous train of thought.

Cassandra felt dizzy. Rapunzel was typically very upfront about her feelings, and though Cass was getting most of the gist, the princess was being unusually dodgy about what she was trying to say. Normally honest, never-wanting-to-keep-a-secret Rapunzel would spout exactly what she was thinking, often without prompting. This whole being cryptic and analytical thing was new.

And it was confusing for Cassandra too, because it wasn't like she had never thought about the princess in… more intimate ways. No one could guess that behind her cool and collected exterior, her interior was soft and mushy for one golden-haired lady. Not that Cassandra ever thought she'd have a chance to express those feelings. Rapunzel was very happy with Eugene, and someday they'd be married and have children and Cassandra would fade out of the picture. Probably go and make her own life. Hopefully get over her feelings and find some other woman to settle down with. Heartache was a normal and necessary part of life, and Cassandra had accepted long ago that her heart would always ache for Rapunzel, but never find respite.

"That's when I realized maybe the feeling isn't going away because it's always been here," Rapunzel's voice cut through Cassandra's inner turmoil. "Maybe it just took me awhile to understand it. Maybe getting Eugene out of my head and my life for a minute opened me up to new possibilities. Possibilities I had never considered."

"So you've been thinking a lot?" was all Cassandra could muster. As if it wasn't obvious by the volume of words Rapunzel had just spilled out. She really couldn't think of anything better to say. This, whatever this was, was really happening. Rapunzel was, more or less, confessing her feelings for Cassandra, romantic feelings, in the most roundabout way possible. If her confession was genuine, where did that leave Eugene? Cassandra certainly wasn't his biggest fan, which was obvious to everyone, but she would never hope for any permanent damage- physical or emotional- to befall him.

Rapunzel nodded, glancing up to see her friend staring down at her. Even when Cass tried to remain stoic, she could always catch a glimpse of concern behind those hazel eyes whenever she looked at her. If Rapunzel thought about it, Cassandra didn't look at anyone else in the same way. She had previously chalked it up to Cass being her best friend, but now...

"You were the first real friend I made in Corona, and you've been by my side almost as long as Eugene has. You've helped me on this journey just as much, if not more. You helped me adjust to royal life, you were there to answer all my questions and show me around and teach me all there was to know about the world. You helped me over the last several months to stop believing in the lies Gothel told me all my life.

"You didn't have to do any of that. You weren't even required to join me in following the Black Rocks, but you did. I am so grateful to have you here, and I don't think I've properly told you how much it means to have you with me. How much it means to me that you're in my life. You always have my back and I always want to have yours.

"I'm really glad to hear you say that, Raps," Cassandra turned, offering the princess a smile. "I was starting to think-"

No. No. This was all wrong. Cassandra was not a feelings person. Actually, she did have a lot of feelings, but those feelings stayed locked up inside and never saw the light of day. Especially not her feelings for the long lost princess of Corona, Rapunzel. She had a job to do, a duty to her kingdom and her country. She came on this journey to protect the princess, because protecting her meant protecting Corona's future. She was a soldier on a mission, nothing more. She just had to keep telling herself that until she believed it.

"Starting to think what?" Rapunzel prodded.

Cassandra recalled the mess she'd made the last time she'd told Rapunzel to forget about something. The super recent last time that was currently the topic of their conversation. She knew all too well Raps wasn't one to let things go. If she didn't talk now, it'd be non-stop nagging until she did. And Cassandra certainly didn't want another accident happening on account of her hiding things from the princess. Also, she couldn't say no to Raps' inquisitive puppy-dog eyes.

"I was starting to think you only see me as a servant."

"What? Cass, that's not true! Is this- Did Eugene say something? I know you two argue but if he told you that, that's crossing a line!"

Cassandra hesitated. Rapunzel had made her stance clear about a certain guide who had helped them through the Forest of No Return and the Great Tree. Their friendship, if there was anything left of it, was already on rocky ground after this latest incident. Speaking ill of someone Raps trusted could cause more irreparable damage. But what did she have to lose?

"Adira said something. At the Great Tree. And after you started listening to her and you started ignoring me, I thought maybe I'd made our friendship out to be more than it actually was. I am your lady-in-waiting. I am here to serve you and obey your commands. She just put me in my place. I tried to prove her wrong, to prove I meant something to you and that you trusted me over some stranger. But you proved me wrong instead. You trusted Adira, you put yourself at risk, you didn't let me protect you. I just wanted-" Cassandra bit her lip to keep it from quivering, pushing down the small spark of emotion that was threatening to show itself, "It doesn't matter what I want. This journey is about you and your destiny and I need to be better at listening to orders," she briefly considered getting up right then and there and going for a walk, but a hand grasping at the crook of her elbow made her pause.

"I know you don't like Adira, and she's not very fond of you either. But out here, we need all the help we can get, and as few enemies as possible," Rapunzel trailed her hand down to grab Cassandra's tightly, "Cass, all the decisions I've made out here have been hard. All of your lives are in MY hands. You are all out here, because of ME. Away from your homes and your families, and there's a chance none of us make it back. If anything happens to you, any of you, but especially you, I am responsible. I decided to take this crazy journey and I didn't ask anyone else to come with me, but you did. I don't know how I would have made it this far without you, but it's still terrifying to think that at any moment, something bad could happen. That's why I used the decay spell. Everyone was in danger and I was panicking and I did what I thought was the right thing to do. We are so close to reaching the Dark Kingdom, and I can't let anything happen to anyone. Even if something happens to me, as long as you all make it home safe, that's all that matters."

She was crying now, ever unabashed at wearing her heart on her sleeve. One hand scrubbed furiously at her eyes while the other squeezed Cass' hand ever tighter. Cassandra glanced back at the camp to make sure no one else had woken up, then pulled Rapunzel in close to her chest. Her friend- her princess- needed her now. The same way she'd needed her at the castle when she was overwhelmed with her duties as royalty or when she had nightmares.

"Raps, I know this is stressful for all of us. But we're going to get through it. We're ALL going home. I'll make sure of it," she held Rapunzel a little closer for emphasis.

"Cass," Rapunzel sniffled, once she had calmed herself enough to talk again, "I need you to know how much you mean to me. I need you to know if you found me before Eugene did, I would have fallen in love with you first. I need you to know I'm in love with you now. It just took a little push for me to realize it. You mean so much more to me than I could possibly say with words, and you know I can say a lot of words. You always have. I'm just stupid."

"You're not stupid!" It baffled Cassandra how such a glamourous ray of sunshine could get such a dark cloud over her head. "I'm stupid! I'm the one who cast the forgetting spell and started all this in the first place. I'm the one who fell in love with you. I go above and beyond my duties to you, not because I'm your servant, but because I want to share as many moments as I can with you. Someday, you'll marry Eugene, because you love him, and there won't be room for me in your life anymore."

"Cass, that's not-"

"I want you to be happy. I really do. But watching the two of you have the life I wish could have with you, would be torture. Love is torture, Raps. It's this parasitic thing that worms its way into your brain and then it consumes your heart and makes all your thoughts and hopes and dreams revolve around one person. Even if they're a person you can never have. Stupid, right?"

"No! Not stupid!" Rapunzel pushed away, hands splayed against Cassandra's armor. "Cass, your feelings matter-"

"You just think they matter because of the spell," Cassandra pulled Rapunzel's hands away from her chest and nested them in her friend's lap before letting them go. "You're. In love. With Eugene. Coming between you two wouldn't be right of me."

Rapunzel scooted across the rock, putting distance between them. "What if you're not the one that comes between Eugene and me? What if I'm the one?"

"Raps, what are you saying?"

"Everybody says he loves me, and I think he does care about me. Sometimes I just wonder if he mostly loves the idea of me. If he loves the idea of becoming a prince and someday the king and never having to worry about food or shelter again. He had a hard life. Then he rescued me, and now he has the undying gratitude of all of Corona. And he deserves all of that! But he can have most of it without being married to me.

"Eugene has his own life, his own friends. He had a life before he met me and he still lives it. Which is, not to say you didn't or don't have a life, you're just… always there, with me. You're always the one that offers to come with me when I want to explore or look for supplies or if we get trapped somewhere. You're always willing to risk your life for me. Eugene has been so indispensable on our journey, and I know he'd do the same if I asked, but with you, I don't ever have to ask.

"And that's… he loves me in his own way and that's okay. It doesn't mean he loves me any less because he lets me have my independence and take care of myself. But sometimes, he gives me a little too much freedom. Sometimes it feels like we're so distant, we're drifting apart."

"So you've fallen out of love a little," Cassandra had managed to beat back any affection she had been feeling, and was now focused on helping Rapunzel with an apparent relationship problem. "You just need to reignite the spark. I'm sure this journey has been difficult for you two without having any privacy. But when you get home, everything can go back to normal."

"That's just it. What if I don't want the spark to reignite? What if I want to start a new spark?"

"Rapsl, that's crazy. You and Eugene-"

"Cass, I am not crazy. I've been reflecting a lot on what has happened in my life. Where I've been. Where I'm going. Who I'm taking with me. Not just to the Dark Kingdom, but to my future. My future where I'm queen and I'm responsible for all of Corona and I have someone by my side ruling with me. Who that could be.

"I thought you always wanted to be close by because we're friends and we care about each other. Of course we care about each other. But I started to wonder if things had turned out differently, with the tower and everything, if maybe I would care about you… more. In the way I cared- care- about Eugene.

"Part of me feels like maybe I just got caught up in everything. Having my freedom, meeting another person, discovering the world. Maybe I rushed into things. I keep telling Eugene I'm not ready to marry him, and I tell myself I will be someday. But in all honesty, I can never see myself being ready. I like what I have with Eugene, but maybe I'd like it more if the things I share with him were shared with someone else instead.

"Another part of me feels like I owe him. He rescued me, he saved me, and he reunited me with my family. I should be- I am- grateful for that. I make him happy, and he makes me happy, but I'm worried the ways we make each other happy are no longer the same. I don't want to hurt him after everything he's done for me, for my family, for Corona. I don't know what to do, Cass. I don't think it's as simple as falling out of love temporarily. What if I'm falling out of love with him forever?"

"This is really bothering you, huh?"

Rapunzel nodded, fresh liquid gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Cassandra sighed heavily. She really hadn't expected to be playing comforter or therapist or whatever this was. But here she was, and here Rapunzel was, and here they both were. Spilling their guts out into the night air. Moreso Raps than herself. So maybe it was time to divulge a long-kept secret.

"I have to be honest, I can't say I haven't thought about it. How things could have been if I'd gotten to you first. I've thought about it for a long time, actually. Way before I accidentally cast a spell on you, and way before we even started this journey. I've thought about what it would have been like if I had found you instead of Eugene. I got a glimpse of that, and it was so nice to be so close to you. You were so vulnerable and I wanted nothing more than to protect you. Sometimes it feels like you don't need me at all. But if I'd been there, in the beginning, maybe you'd always feel like you needed me. The way you feel like you need Eugene. And I could always be by your side, protecting you."

"That does sound nice."

The moonlight made it hard to tell, but Cassandra could swear she saw Rapunzel blushing. Time to backpedal. "Yeah, well, we all think about things that will never be reality, Raps. It's not a big deal," she shrugged.

"Cass, your hopes and dreams are a big deal to me! Especially if they involve me. I think about you all the time, but I guess I've been so wrapped up in getting to know my mom and dad and the coronation and figuring out this whole princess thing that I've never considered you might see me as more than a friend. Or that I might feel the same way. Everything is so complicated and overwhelming and on the days when I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, just having you there helps me take a step back and breath. It's like everything feels like it's going to be okay, as long as you're there.

"Eugene is adventurous and I like adventure, but I can't always predict what he's going to do. He proposed to me in front of my parents, and you, and all of the royals in town for the coronation. Maybe he thought I would be ready, and I'm sure a lot of other girls would have enjoyed such a public proposal, but that's not me. And even though it's only been a few months, he almost proposed again during our travels. Maybe he thought I'd say yes if it wasn't in front of as many people. Maybe he's ready to get married and I'm not. He is older and he's had time to get his fill of the world, while my life is just beginning. He's ready to settle down. He is content to lounge in the castle most of the time while I'd rather be out beyond the walls of Corona. I want him to be able to have that relaxed, worry free life. I want him to be happy."

"You deserve to be happy too, Raps. I know you love Eugene and I want you to be happy. I wouldn't wish to take that happiness away from you. No matter what I want, this is your life. And I can't change- I mean, there are a lot of mythical artifacts in the world and I'm sure if I really wanted to I could change who found you first but- that wouldn't be right. Everything played out like it did for a reason. You're happy with Eugene, and taking that away because of my own selfish feelings… Even if you would never know, I would. I'd know what I stole from you. You love him, and he loves you, and I am learning to be okay with that. I don't like him, but I lov- like you. At the end of the day, I just want what's best for you. Even if I'm not what's best for you."

"But you are what's best for me, Cass. I care for you, just as much as I do for Eugene. Maybe more. And that's what I'm worried about. I'm- I'm not worried about caring for you, I'm worried about not caring for Eugene… anymore."

"Oh," Rapunzel's resistance was finally starting to settle in, "You're really serious about this. You're like, sure, sure?"

Rapunzel grasped the fabric of her dress in her hands, playing with it nervously. "I know this all feels like it's happening because of the spell, but it's not. I'm not sure, but I'm almost sure, but I-"

"Don't want to compromise the mission."

"Right," Rapunzel exhaled slowly, like a weight had been lifted off of her chest and she was finally able to breath again.

"I know he can be immature at times. But, he's old enough that he should be able to respect the decisions you make about your life. You said it yourself, he has his own life to live. At least talk with him. You leaving him is like a fantasy come true for me, but that doesn't mean I want there to be any bad blood between him or any of your friends. And I don't want you to make the wrong decision because you're feeling pressured. This is about your life, and your happiness. No one else's."

"But deciding to maybe, possibly, break- not be together anymore, affects him too."

"Staying together is clearly affecting you."

"I know, I know. But I had to be honest with you about what I'm feeling. I've always been able to confide in you and trust you. I want to keep doing that forever. Ha, I'm probably starting to sound like a broken record I just… I want you to know that what I feel for you is real. And I'm glad you opened up about your feelings, too. I know that's difficult for you, and I know it means you trust me more than I could ever comprehend. Please don't say anything to Eugene. I'm still trying to work things out and process them. But more importantly, I don't want to mess anything up before we reach the Dark Kingdom."

"You know this mission is my top priority. I'm not about to do anything to compromise it."

"Thank you. I knew I could trust you."

Rapunzel looked towards the camp and yawned, sleep calling her back to her bed. Traveling was draining enough, and now on top of it she was dealing with emotional exhaustion. The fate of Corona rested on her shoulders, but the burden was easier to bear knowing she wasn't alone. She moved to stand, but just before she did, she leaned over to plant a tender kiss against Cassandra's cheek.

"Thank you for listening."

Cassandra's hand brushed her face where her friend's lips had just been. She smiled sheepishly, ducking her head to try to hide her blush. There were few things in life that could get her flustered, and affection from Rapunzel topped the list.

"Any time, Raps. I could listen to you all day."

The golden-haired princess smiled and nodded, tucking back a stray hair behind her ear. She rocked on the balls of her feet, heart still heavy with words left unsaid, but body too tired to allow her to express them tonight. "Well, goodnight," she lingered a moment longer, taking in the vision of the other woman under the light of the night sky.

"Night, Raps."

It wasn't long before Cassandra found herself alone again. She let out a heavy sigh, almost like she'd been holding her breath the whole time. She was still trying to convince herself that the entire conversation she'd just had wasn't some kind of dream. Rapunzel- Rapunzel- was in love with her! Rapunzel wanted her. Rapunzel chose her! Sure, there were probably more ideal times for her to reveal such information, but at least she wasn't like Cassandra and was able to openly discuss her feelings.

She touched the space on her cheek again where Rapunzel had made contact. Yep, this felt real. No dreams, no weird spells, no wild imaginings. Raps had really beat her to the punch with her confession. Not that Cassandra had ever had any intention of revealing her feelings about the princess. But with her friend so unsure and confused, it felt unfair for her to be the only one sharing.

Well, I certainly won't have trouble keeping watch tonight, Cass thought. Her mind and her heart were both racing, head filled with visions of a potential future with Rapunzel. Those thoughts came often, especially on these lonely watches, but tonight, they were more vivid than ever. There was still no guarantee things would work out, and Cassandra knew better than to get her hopes up. Still, she couldn't stop herself from thinking,

Wow. Dreams do come true.

Support this and other stories! https://ko-fi.com/gemology

[tangledcassandra]

Better To Have Loved

Title: Better To Have Loved

Description: Rapunzel and Cassandra have a much needed heart to heart after the events caused by the Wand of Forgetting.

[Read on AO3]

"Do you think if you had found me in the tower instead of Eugene, I would have fallen in love with you?"

Cassandra had been keeping first watch again. She heard everyone go off to bed, and assumed Rapunzel had joined them, until she appeared next to her. Her legs were curled up to her chest, and the princess was uncharacteristically silent. Cassandra theorized Rapunzel probably had a nightmare shortly after falling asleep, and just wanted some company until she grew tired again. They'd frequently gone through a similar routine at the castle, before they set off to follow the Black Rocks. The quietness normally suited Cassandra, but with Rapunzel around, it felt a little weird. Her question several minutes later did not make things any less weird.

"Anything is possible, Raps," she replied, trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that she had wished more times than she could count that she had been the one to rescue Rapunzel.

"So you do think we could have-"

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know," This really wasn't a discussion she wanted to have, especially not after she had gotten a glimpse of an alternate reality where her secret dream came true.

"Do you think it's too late for us to?"

"What?"

"Fall in love."

Cassandra whipped around, heart fluttering in her chest as she tried to process what she had just heard. She must have fallen asleep while on watch. This was all a dream. Just another fantasy her subconscious had conjured. Wake up, wake up, wake up! her brain yelled, as her gaze settled on the princess. Her chin was nestled into her knees as she stared out at the forest. She looked gorgeous in the moonlight. She looked gorgeous in the sunlight, too. Cassandra shook her head, trying to clear it of delusional thoughts. Rapunzel was always curious about the world around her, and this was probably just another passing fancy that she simply wanted to explore.

"What about Eugene?" The reminder of Rapunzel's current romantic and nearly betrothed partner helped steady Cassandra's nerves and bring her back down to Earth.

Rapunzel stretched out her legs, letting them dangle towards the ground. Her hands fidgeted in her lap for a moment, before her fingers moved to trace patterns in the smooth rock where they were both perched. "Ever since you used the Wand of Forgetting on me, everything's been really confusing. Eugene was the first person I can ever remember meeting, besides Moth- Gothel. But now I have memories of you being the first person I ever met. Experiencing the world for the first time, not with Eugene, but with you.

"Everything was so frightening. Seeing a world outside my tower for the first time. But you were there, and your smile was so warm and comforting, I didn't feel like I had to be afraid. Even though I had no idea where I was or what danger lay ahead, I knew you would take care of and protect me. You made it not so scary," Rapunzel offered up one of her not-so-rare smiles, thinking of the alternate memories of her first taste of freedom.

"I know you aren't normally very affectionate, but I distinctly remember you letting me lean up against you by the campfire, without protest. And I felt the same feelings I first felt with Eugene coming to the surface every time I looked at you. I thought about how nice it was to talk to and bond with another person. You looked so beautiful under the starlight, right before I figured out you were taking me the wrong way."

"Raps, I am far from beautiful," Cassandra smiled wanly, "But I appreciate the sentiment. I'm sure anyone looks good when you've been cooped up with Gothel all your life," the small hint of positive emotion left as her face fell. "I'm still so sorry I cast that spell on you. You didn't deserve to relive all that fear and uncertainty again. I try so hard to protect you, and I was the one who put you in danger. I put this entire mission in jeopardy, because I let my emotions get the best of me," she growled as she balled her good hand into a fist, still beating herself up over her mistake.

"Would it be bad if I said I think I'm glad it happened?"

"What? Why?"

"Because it helped me realize I've always thought you were beautiful, Cass," the princess ignored her friend's previous denial, "but I just thought it was in the way one girl can appreciate another girl who is attractive. Since the memory incident, I've been wondering... If you had found me first, why couldn't it have been you I fell in love with? Random chance brought Eugene to the tower, and it could have just as easily led you there. How would my life- our lives- be different?

"At first, I thought the feeling would go away. I know I'm not going to forget what happened, but it isn't reality. It's how things could have happened, not the way they did happen. But they... did happen, in some way. I was there and you were there. You're always there for me, Cass.

"Even though you didn't find me in the tower, you did find me in the castle. You found me in your own way. You were my first best friend. Every time I look into my future, I see you right by my side. I can't imagine going a day without seeing you, without spending time with you. I don't just want you by my side, I want you by my side. Close to me, like-" Rapunzel blew a puff of air at some stray hair, knocking it out of her eyes. It seemed to be an excuse not to finish her previous train of thought.

Cassandra felt dizzy. Rapunzel was typically very upfront about her feelings, and though Cass was getting most of the gist, the princess was being unusually dodgy about what she was trying to say. Normally honest, never-wanting-to-keep-a-secret Rapunzel would spout exactly what she was thinking, often without prompting. This whole being cryptic and analytical thing was new.

And it was confusing for Cassandra too, because it wasn't like she had never thought about the princess in… more intimate ways. No one could guess that behind her cool and collected exterior, her interior was soft and mushy for one golden-haired lady. Not that Cassandra ever thought she'd have a chance to express those feelings. Rapunzel was very happy with Eugene, and someday they'd be married and have children and Cassandra would fade out of the picture. Probably go and make her own life. Hopefully get over her feelings and find some other woman to settle down with. Heartache was a normal and necessary part of life, and Cassandra had accepted long ago that her heart would always ache for Rapunzel, but never find respite.

"That's when I realized maybe the feeling isn't going away because it's always been here," Rapunzel's voice cut through Cassandra's inner turmoil. "Maybe it just took me awhile to understand it. Maybe getting Eugene out of my head and my life for a minute opened me up to new possibilities. Possibilities I had never considered."

"So you've been thinking a lot?" was all Cassandra could muster. As if it wasn't obvious by the volume of words Rapunzel had just spilled out. She really couldn't think of anything better to say. This, whatever this was, was really happening. Rapunzel was, more or less, confessing her feelings for Cassandra, romantic feelings, in the most roundabout way possible. If her confession was genuine, where did that leave Eugene? Cassandra certainly wasn't his biggest fan, which was obvious to everyone, but she would never hope for any permanent damage- physical or emotional- to befall him.

Rapunzel nodded, glancing up to see her friend staring down at her. Even when Cass tried to remain stoic, she could always catch a glimpse of concern behind those hazel eyes whenever she looked at her. If Rapunzel thought about it, Cassandra didn't look at anyone else in the same way. She had previously chalked it up to Cass being her best friend, but now...

"You were the first real friend I made in Corona, and you've been by my side almost as long as Eugene has. You've helped me on this journey just as much, if not more. You helped me adjust to royal life, you were there to answer all my questions and show me around and teach me all there was to know about the world. You helped me over the last several months to stop believing in the lies Gothel told me all my life.

"You didn't have to do any of that. You weren't even required to join me in following the Black Rocks, but you did. I am so grateful to have you here, and I don't think I've properly told you how much it means to have you with me. How much it means to me that you're in my life. You always have my back and I always want to have yours.

"I'm really glad to hear you say that, Raps," Cassandra turned, offering the princess a smile. "I was starting to think-"

No. No. This was all wrong. Cassandra was not a feelings person. Actually, she did have a lot of feelings, but those feelings stayed locked up inside and never saw the light of day. Especially not her feelings for the long lost princess of Corona, Rapunzel. She had a job to do, a duty to her kingdom and her country. She came on this journey to protect the princess, because protecting her meant protecting Corona's future. She was a soldier on a mission, nothing more. She just had to keep telling herself that until she believed it.

"Starting to think what?" Rapunzel prodded.

Cassandra recalled the mess she'd made the last time she'd told Rapunzel to forget about something. The super recent last time that was currently the topic of their conversation. She knew all too well Raps wasn't one to let things go. If she didn't talk now, it'd be non-stop nagging until she did. And Cassandra certainly didn't want another accident happening on account of her hiding things from the princess. Also, she couldn't say no to Raps' inquisitive puppy-dog eyes.

"I was starting to think you only see me as a servant."

"What? Cass, that's not true! Is this- Did Eugene say something? I know you two argue but if he told you that, that's crossing a line!"

Cassandra hesitated. Rapunzel had made her stance clear about a certain guide who had helped them through the Forest of No Return and the Great Tree. Their friendship, if there was anything left of it, was already on rocky ground after this latest incident. Speaking ill of someone Raps trusted could cause more irreparable damage. But what did she have to lose?

"Adira said something. At the Great Tree. And after you started listening to her and you started ignoring me, I thought maybe I'd made our friendship out to be more than it actually was. I am your lady-in-waiting. I am here to serve you and obey your commands. She just put me in my place. I tried to prove her wrong, to prove I meant something to you and that you trusted me over some stranger. But you proved me wrong instead. You trusted Adira, you put yourself at risk, you didn't let me protect you. I just wanted-" Cassandra bit her lip to keep it from quivering, pushing down the small spark of emotion that was threatening to show itself, "It doesn't matter what I want. This journey is about you and your destiny and I need to be better at listening to orders," she briefly considered getting up right then and there and going for a walk, but a hand grasping at the crook of her elbow made her pause.

"I know you don't like Adira, and she's not very fond of you either. But out here, we need all the help we can get, and as few enemies as possible," Rapunzel trailed her hand down to grab Cassandra's tightly, "Cass, all the decisions I've made out here have been hard. All of your lives are in MY hands. You are all out here, because of ME. Away from your homes and your families, and there's a chance none of us make it back. If anything happens to you, any of you, but especially you, I am responsible. I decided to take this crazy journey and I didn't ask anyone else to come with me, but you did. I don't know how I would have made it this far without you, but it's still terrifying to think that at any moment, something bad could happen. That's why I used the decay spell. Everyone was in danger and I was panicking and I did what I thought was the right thing to do. We are so close to reaching the Dark Kingdom, and I can't let anything happen to anyone. Even if something happens to me, as long as you all make it home safe, that's all that matters."

She was crying now, ever unabashed at wearing her heart on her sleeve. One hand scrubbed furiously at her eyes while the other squeezed Cass' hand ever tighter. Cassandra glanced back at the camp to make sure no one else had woken up, then pulled Rapunzel in close to her chest. Her friend- her princess- needed her now. The same way she'd needed her at the castle when she was overwhelmed with her duties as royalty or when she had nightmares.

"Raps, I know this is stressful for all of us. But we're going to get through it. We're ALL going home. I'll make sure of it," she held Rapunzel a little closer for emphasis.

"Cass," Rapunzel sniffled, once she had calmed herself enough to talk again, "I need you to know how much you mean to me. I need you to know if you found me before Eugene did, I would have fallen in love with you first. I need you to know I'm in love with you now. It just took a little push for me to realize it. You mean so much more to me than I could possibly say with words, and you know I can say a lot of words. You always have. I'm just stupid."

"You're not stupid!" It baffled Cassandra how such a glamourous ray of sunshine could get such a dark cloud over her head. "I'm stupid! I'm the one who cast the forgetting spell and started all this in the first place. I'm the one who fell in love with you. I go above and beyond my duties to you, not because I'm your servant, but because I want to share as many moments as I can with you. Someday, you'll marry Eugene, because you love him, and there won't be room for me in your life anymore."

"Cass, that's not-"

"I want you to be happy. I really do. But watching the two of you have the life I wish could have with you, would be torture. Love is torture, Raps. It's this parasitic thing that worms its way into your brain and then it consumes your heart and makes all your thoughts and hopes and dreams revolve around one person. Even if they're a person you can never have. Stupid, right?"

"No! Not stupid!" Rapunzel pushed away, hands splayed against Cassandra's armor. "Cass, your feelings matter-"

"You just think they matter because of the spell," Cassandra pulled Rapunzel's hands away from her chest and nested them in her friend's lap before letting them go. "You're. In love. With Eugene. Coming between you two wouldn't be right of me."

Rapunzel scooted across the rock, putting distance between them. "What if you're not the one that comes between Eugene and me? What if I'm the one?"

"Raps, what are you saying?"

"Everybody says he loves me, and I think he does care about me. Sometimes I just wonder if he mostly loves the idea of me. If he loves the idea of becoming a prince and someday the king and never having to worry about food or shelter again. He had a hard life. Then he rescued me, and now he has the undying gratitude of all of Corona. And he deserves all of that! But he can have most of it without being married to me.

"Eugene has his own life, his own friends. He had a life before he met me and he still lives it. Which is, not to say you didn't or don't have a life, you're just… always there, with me. You're always the one that offers to come with me when I want to explore or look for supplies or if we get trapped somewhere. You're always willing to risk your life for me. Eugene has been so indispensable on our journey, and I know he'd do the same if I asked, but with you, I don't ever have to ask.

"And that's… he loves me in his own way and that's okay. It doesn't mean he loves me any less because he lets me have my independence and take care of myself. But sometimes, he gives me a little too much freedom. Sometimes it feels like we're so distant, we're drifting apart."

"So you've fallen out of love a little," Cassandra had managed to beat back any affection she had been feeling, and was now focused on helping Rapunzel with an apparent relationship problem. "You just need to reignite the spark. I'm sure this journey has been difficult for you two without having any privacy. But when you get home, everything can go back to normal."

"That's just it. What if I don't want the spark to reignite? What if I want to start a new spark?"

"Rapsl, that's crazy. You and Eugene-"

"Cass, I am not crazy. I've been reflecting a lot on what has happened in my life. Where I've been. Where I'm going. Who I'm taking with me. Not just to the Dark Kingdom, but to my future. My future where I'm queen and I'm responsible for all of Corona and I have someone by my side ruling with me. Who that could be.

"I thought you always wanted to be close by because we're friends and we care about each other. Of course we care about each other. But I started to wonder if things had turned out differently, with the tower and everything, if maybe I would care about you… more. In the way I cared- care- about Eugene.

"Part of me feels like maybe I just got caught up in everything. Having my freedom, meeting another person, discovering the world. Maybe I rushed into things. I keep telling Eugene I'm not ready to marry him, and I tell myself I will be someday. But in all honesty, I can never see myself being ready. I like what I have with Eugene, but maybe I'd like it more if the things I share with him were shared with someone else instead.

"Another part of me feels like I owe him. He rescued me, he saved me, and he reunited me with my family. I should be- I am- grateful for that. I make him happy, and he makes me happy, but I'm worried the ways we make each other happy are no longer the same. I don't want to hurt him after everything he's done for me, for my family, for Corona. I don't know what to do, Cass. I don't think it's as simple as falling out of love temporarily. What if I'm falling out of love with him forever?"

"This is really bothering you, huh?"

Rapunzel nodded, fresh liquid gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Cassandra sighed heavily. She really hadn't expected to be playing comforter or therapist or whatever this was. But here she was, and here Rapunzel was, and here they both were. Spilling their guts out into the night air. Moreso Raps than herself. So maybe it was time to divulge a long-kept secret.

"I have to be honest, I can't say I haven't thought about it. How things could have been if I'd gotten to you first. I've thought about it for a long time, actually. Way before I accidentally cast a spell on you, and way before we even started this journey. I've thought about what it would have been like if I had found you instead of Eugene. I got a glimpse of that, and it was so nice to be so close to you. You were so vulnerable and I wanted nothing more than to protect you. Sometimes it feels like you don't need me at all. But if I'd been there, in the beginning, maybe you'd always feel like you needed me. The way you feel like you need Eugene. And I could always be by your side, protecting you."

"That does sound nice."

The moonlight made it hard to tell, but Cassandra could swear she saw Rapunzel blushing. Time to backpedal. "Yeah, well, we all think about things that will never be reality, Raps. It's not a big deal," she shrugged.

"Cass, your hopes and dreams are a big deal to me! Especially if they involve me. I think about you all the time, but I guess I've been so wrapped up in getting to know my mom and dad and the coronation and figuring out this whole princess thing that I've never considered you might see me as more than a friend. Or that I might feel the same way. Everything is so complicated and overwhelming and on the days when I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, just having you there helps me take a step back and breath. It's like everything feels like it's going to be okay, as long as you're there.

"Eugene is adventurous and I like adventure, but I can't always predict what he's going to do. He proposed to me in front of my parents, and you, and all of the royals in town for the coronation. Maybe he thought I would be ready, and I'm sure a lot of other girls would have enjoyed such a public proposal, but that's not me. And even though it's only been a few months, he almost proposed again during our travels. Maybe he thought I'd say yes if it wasn't in front of as many people. Maybe he's ready to get married and I'm not. He is older and he's had time to get his fill of the world, while my life is just beginning. He's ready to settle down. He is content to lounge in the castle most of the time while I'd rather be out beyond the walls of Corona. I want him to be able to have that relaxed, worry free life. I want him to be happy."

"You deserve to be happy too, Raps. I know you love Eugene and I want you to be happy. I wouldn't wish to take that happiness away from you. No matter what I want, this is your life. And I can't change- I mean, there are a lot of mythical artifacts in the world and I'm sure if I really wanted to I could change who found you first but- that wouldn't be right. Everything played out like it did for a reason. You're happy with Eugene, and taking that away because of my own selfish feelings… Even if you would never know, I would. I'd know what I stole from you. You love him, and he loves you, and I am learning to be okay with that. I don't like him, but I lov- like you. At the end of the day, I just want what's best for you. Even if I'm not what's best for you."

"But you are what's best for me, Cass. I care for you, just as much as I do for Eugene. Maybe more. And that's what I'm worried about. I'm- I'm not worried about caring for you, I'm worried about not caring for Eugene… anymore."

"Oh," Rapunzel's resistance was finally starting to settle in, "You're really serious about this. You're like, sure, sure?"

Rapunzel grasped the fabric of her dress in her hands, playing with it nervously. "I know this all feels like it's happening because of the spell, but it's not. I'm not sure, but I'm almost sure, but I-"

"Don't want to compromise the mission."

"Right," Rapunzel exhaled slowly, like a weight had been lifted off of her chest and she was finally able to breath again.

"I know he can be immature at times. But, he's old enough that he should be able to respect the decisions you make about your life. You said it yourself, he has his own life to live. At least talk with him. You leaving him is like a fantasy come true for me, but that doesn't mean I want there to be any bad blood between him or any of your friends. And I don't want you to make the wrong decision because you're feeling pressured. This is about your life, and your happiness. No one else's."

"But deciding to maybe, possibly, break- not be together anymore, affects him too."

"Staying together is clearly affecting you."

"I know, I know. But I had to be honest with you about what I'm feeling. I've always been able to confide in you and trust you. I want to keep doing that forever. Ha, I'm probably starting to sound like a broken record I just… I want you to know that what I feel for you is real. And I'm glad you opened up about your feelings, too. I know that's difficult for you, and I know it means you trust me more than I could ever comprehend. Please don't say anything to Eugene. I'm still trying to work things out and process them. But more importantly, I don't want to mess anything up before we reach the Dark Kingdom."

"You know this mission is my top priority. I'm not about to do anything to compromise it."

"Thank you. I knew I could trust you."

Rapunzel looked towards the camp and yawned, sleep calling her back to her bed. Traveling was draining enough, and now on top of it she was dealing with emotional exhaustion. The fate of Corona rested on her shoulders, but the burden was easier to bear knowing she wasn't alone. She moved to stand, but just before she did, she leaned over to plant a tender kiss against Cassandra's cheek.

"Thank you for listening."

Cassandra's hand brushed her face where her friend's lips had just been. She smiled sheepishly, ducking her head to try to hide her blush. There were few things in life that could get her flustered, and affection from Rapunzel topped the list.

"Any time, Raps. I could listen to you all day."

The golden-haired princess smiled and nodded, tucking back a stray hair behind her ear. She rocked on the balls of her feet, heart still heavy with words left unsaid, but body too tired to allow her to express them tonight. "Well, goodnight," she lingered a moment longer, taking in the vision of the other woman under the light of the night sky.

"Night, Raps."

It wasn't long before Cassandra found herself alone again. She let out a heavy sigh, almost like she'd been holding her breath the whole time. She was still trying to convince herself that the entire conversation she'd just had wasn't some kind of dream. Rapunzel- Rapunzel- was in love with her! Rapunzel wanted her. Rapunzel chose her! Sure, there were probably more ideal times for her to reveal such information, but at least she wasn't like Cassandra and was able to openly discuss her feelings.

She touched the space on her cheek again where Rapunzel had made contact. Yep, this felt real. No dreams, no weird spells, no wild imaginings. Raps had really beat her to the punch with her confession. Not that Cassandra had ever had any intention of revealing her feelings about the princess. But with her friend so unsure and confused, it felt unfair for her to be the only one sharing.

Well, I certainly won't have trouble keeping watch tonight, Cass thought. Her mind and her heart were both racing, head filled with visions of a potential future with Rapunzel. Those thoughts came often, especially on these lonely watches, but tonight, they were more vivid than ever. There was still no guarantee things would work out, and Cassandra knew better than to get her hopes up. Still, she couldn't stop herself from thinking,

Wow. Dreams do come true.

Support this and other stories! https://ko-fi.com/gemology 

[abundantlifepractice]

10 Ways To Be Happy Even When You Have a Super Crappy Job

Most people I know hate their job.

And even those who don’t exactly hate their job, admit to resenting it in some way. This is so messed up because we spend so much of our lives at work. Our jobs give us money and we need money to live. I recently read a statistic that said the average person will spend about a quarter of their lifetime on this earth at their jobs.  I know, bananas!

So why exactly do we hate and resent our jobs so much?

Truthfully, there are tons of reasons, more than I could ever begin to name.  But here are just a few possible reasons why you hate your job.

1.  You, an adult, literally have to ask for permission to take time away from the job to handle important life tasks and responsibilities.

2. You, a perfectly reasonable person, have to spend inordinate amounts of time with people who are sometimes not very reasonable, or friendly, or bright, or professional, or kind.

3. You, a person with much to offer the world, is often “supervised” by people who are not as talented or insightful as you.

4. You, a creative person, have to reign in your talents and prioritize the boring unexciting demands of your job routine instead of the all the ideas that race around your mind.

5. You, a person with relationships, hobbies, and interests, spend at least 40 non-negotiable hours of your peak productive time a week meeting the demands of your employer while your needs and desires sit on the back burner.

6. You, a person with material needs and obligations, never seem to make enough money at your job. If things arise  in your life that require more cash than you have on hand, you cannot negotiate with your employer to pay you more just because you need it.

Any of that sound familiar?

After many years of working for myself and pursuing independent research in a doctoral program,  I took a job with a large organization so that I could relocate back to my hometown of New York City, a move I’d been wanting to make happen for awhile. I couldn’t move my practice to NY straight away because of state licensing issues and I wanted so badly to be back in New York that I just couldn’t wait for things to sort themselves out.

So I took a job in the meantime while I figure out my next steps.

On very good days, I am thankful to have stable employment with great benefits which currently allows me to keep a roof over my head and food in my tummy while being in my most favorite city in the world. On these days, I am proud of the interesting work I get to do and for the opportunities and challenges that encourage my growth and development.  

But on bad days, I am resentful of both the large and small indignities of my job and plot how quickly I can leave it.  And I am not alone. To say that most people at my job don’t want to be there is an understatement. And while I am totally grateful and the job has its perks, it’s been a very long time since I’ve worked a full time job. There are supervisors, “chains of command,” office politics, and job hazards to deal with.  And I have to admit that it has been a bit difficult readjusting. Personally, what’s been most difficult is not really owning my own time and no longer being able to do with it as I please.

In the five months that I have been working there so far, I have found a handful of coping strategies to help me maintain my sanity and stop myself from completely succumbing to negative thoughts and bitterness. And I’m sharing them with you here, just in case you are allowing your job to rob you of your happiness:

1 Bolster yourself with your morning commute

I take two different trains during my morning commute. It takes about 45 minutes on the subway followed by a 15 minute walk. So all together I have an hour between  the time I leave my front door and the time I am walking through the front door of the office. In that hour I usually listen to audiobooks on self development, business, politics, and any other subject that I’m super interested in. I’m a very mental person and I love ideas. So beginning the day with a surge of ideas get my brain moving and I am reminded of how big the world is and that my job is a temporary place. Other times I listen to music to psych myself up, like my own soundtrack or theme song. I choose to listen to songs that build me up, and remind me that I am not my job.

2 Don’t seek validation

I have much to offer. And so do you. But my job description calls for me to contribute only a small bit of my knowledge and gifts at work and there is little to no room for me to veer from that.  Also, the higher ups do not see, nor are they interested in my full potential. Not only is this  incredibly frustrating, it can be downright demoralizing. But at the end of the day, the only thing my employer owes me is pay for the work that I do. That’s it. Full stop. Expecting more only leads to disappointment. Your job is your way to put food on the table and a chance for you to work out challenges and pushing yourself. It is not the source of your self-esteem or validation of your worth as a person.

3 Take ownership of your actions (wherever you go, there you are).

I know of many people who work in an office environment in which their coworkers are not very pleasant, or super competitive, or dismissive. My current work environment is one of these places. There is a deeply ingrained dysfunctional work culture that regularly takes down those at the very top and absolutely crushes those on the bottom.  It is not fun. It can feel dehumanizing. But worse, it can make perfectly lovely and reasonable people begin to act like the very sour coworkers that they despise. This is how culture works and recreates itself.

If you have a similar work work environment, I compel you to be conscious of this and fight against adopting the personal destructive habits of an unhealthy place. Because the only thing that you will have to show for it is getting further ingrained in an unhealthy work culture that drains your spirit and your humanity. This sucks, don’t do it.

Instead be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Call yourself on it when you find yourself behaving and thinking like others around you. Remember, your abundance comes from within.  And sometimes you have to guard it at all costs.

4 Manage your work space well

Maintain a neat and orderly physical work environment to the best of your ability. Walking into a chaotic office or trying to find things under a heaping, unruly mound on your desk makes an already undesirable situation almost insufferable. Don’t do this to yourself. I have found that disorganization and overwhelm can  be a very slippery slope.

Awhile ago, I read this book on work space organization and it completely changed the way I thought about how I arrange my desk and work space in general. Set up your space to accommodate your most redundant and essential tasks.  And if you’re a visual person, like I am be sure to have inspiring pictures, desirable colors, and quotes in your view so that you can see them when you need some momentary inspiration. I for one, have a bunch of yellow accents on my desk because that is my happy color.

Part of managing you work space is paying attention to your physical presentation. Be neat and take pride in your appearance. Look good for yourself because when you look your best, you are closer to feeling your best. Maintain your work clothes. Be sure to buy cuts, colors, and accessories that flatter you and accentuate your physical assets while detracting from your problem areas.

And if you have time and want a laugh, check out this video. Its an oldie but goodie, insanely hilarious and over the top but I think it has some takeaways that we all can use. The extremely snide narrator points out Barbara’s sloppiness, disorganization, and lack of preparedness throughout the course of a day from the moment she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. Poor Barbara.  Don’t develop a reputation for being like Barbara at work!

And aside from your personal and physical appearance, be mindful to manage your relationships with others. Be purposeful about setting healthy boundaries and expectations. Show others how to treat you by exhibiting the behaviors you expect from them.  Try not to let the poor behavior of others rattle you too much and make extra efforts to be professional and courteous with such people. This is not always easy and you won’t be able to do this 100% of the time, but be purposeful and make the effort. This is super important for both your immediate mental sanity but also in the long run. You know that you are not destined to say here, so rise above those that are.

5   Perform Your Job to the Best of Your Ability

Your job is crappy. You are capable of so much more. So show to yourself, your coworkers, your supervisors and the universe that you can not only meet the challenges in front of you with grace and style, you can exceed them.  Take pride in the work you have now even if it is not exactly what you want to be doing.

And once you have mastered your job, also be on the look out to develop new skills and be more efficient. At the very least, the more efficient you become the more room you free up in your mind for things you actually want to be thinking about.

But by all means, do not allow you crappy job to stagnate you. In nature, if you are not growing, you are dying. If water does not flow, it becomes stagnant. So move, grow, and thrive.

6  Develop a rich life outside of the office

Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat. Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.

This is no way to live. You owe yourself more. And the less developed your life is outside of work, the more you look for your job to fulfill your inner needs. That will not end up well. You are a multifaceted beautiful piece of work and you deserve to shine and grow in multiple arenas.

Develop yourself.

Host dinner parties. Train for marathons. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Join a club. Play the saxophone. Sing in the choir. Learn a language. Write a novel. Start a YouTube channel. Go talk to that interesting looking person who you see every morning in the train station. Make connections.

Do interesting things that give you something to look forward to and provide you with the opportunity to channel your energy, develop new skills, and use different parts of your brain and body.

7  Make Allies (or at the very least try not to make enemies)

I don’t care if its the receptionist, the janitor, a person who works in another department. The guy who sits in the next cubicle.  The person who occupies the highest level job in the building. Whomever. Make friends and play nice with as many people as you can  at your job.

If this is exceedingly difficult to do, find someone with whom you can at least exchange smiles. Even if this is infrequent. A friendly face is worth its weight in gold.

Do your best to minimize hostility in your workplace. Go the extra mile to form and maintain relationships. You don’t have to be best friends with folks, but at least try to remember names and exchange greetings. Once in awhile, volunteer to do things so that others don’t have to do them. Bring in food to share with your coworkers. Give compliments. Thank them. Be helpful. Allow them to shine. Be empathetic. Treat them like human beings.

When conflict does arise, make sure to address it directly and professionally. Do not hold grudges and make sure you show that you have moved past it once the issue is resolved.

8  Take time off

Go on 2 week long Caribbean vacations if you can. If you can’t do that, go on week long vacations. If you can do that, go on a weekend road trip. And if you can’t do any of this stuff, take mental health days. If you can’t do that, go on walks during your lunch breaks.

9  Plot Your Escape

When I was a little kid, I used to be really interested in stories about slavery, particularly stories about how people would escape from slavery. I would read about how most people didn’t just wake up one day and runaway. They did not take their freedom lightly because they knew if they escaped haphazardly, they could be captured, brought back and beaten or killed. In other words they would make their situation worse than it was to begin with if they did not plan well. So they did things to help ensure their success and survival: they did their best to save food for the journey, they gathered information from informed people, they were selective about who they shared their plan with, they waited until the time was right, they learned how to read the stars for guidance, they made connections, and perhaps most important of all, they had specific destinations in mind.

Now I certainly do not mean to trivialize slavery or liken myself or you to a slave, but I do find this metaphor helpful. We can plot your escape too. Life is too short to work a miserable job for very long.

So figure out what your specific destination is and make a plan for yourself on how to get there. Learn new skills in your current job that will serve you well in your next destination. Learn how to read the signs around you so that you will know when it’s the right time to move on. Lay the groundwork so that you will be ready when the right time comes along. Make connections with people who are also moving in the same direction or may already be there.

10 Save money (invest in your future)

Your time is your life energy. It is very precious and irreplaceable. When you work a job, you exchange your life energy for money.  For a great perspective on this, read this book.

Do not waste the money that you earned because that is almost the equivalent of wasting your irreplaceable life energy. Respect your earned money.  Save it. Spend it on things that improve you and bring you joy. Invest in your future. Make sure you are taking advantage of any discounts that are afforded you because of your job. Some employers are able to provide discounts on gym memberships, commuter benefits, savings club cards, access to credit unions, pensions and 401Ks, etc.

[hannahindie]

Not What She Seems-Chapter 5: The One With The Chick Flick Moment

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. I do, however, own both O/Cs. Also, there's some smut. I'd like to think it's fairly classy smut, and it's not a lot, but if that offends your gentle nature I would advise against reading this. Also there’s some language, and is one of the longest chapters so far.

Chapter Description: Dean is frustrated by the lack of info Garth is finding, and decides to try to find the answers at the local bar. Sam figures out a shocking answer to their situation, and is unsure of how to handle it. Dean tells Sam a secret.

Dean x OC, Sam x OC (friendship)

Sam and Dean had checked into the hotel, changed clothes, and went back out to try to find someone that would know anything about Ava. Garth had called to let them know he hadn't found anything solid yet, but he was still working on it. He'd gotten a lead from someone regarding a couple of hunters that may have had a child, a little girl, but they had both been killed during a hunt. No one knew or could remember the child's name, what she looked like, or where she could have ended up.

"Well, that's super fuckin' helpful, Garth. That could literally be any hunter's orphaned kid. It's not like we have a shortage of those." Sam could hear Garth's tiny voice, calm and reassuring despite the profane litany Dean was spewing at him. "I honestly don't give a shit. Call back when you actually have something useful. Actually, call Sam, because I'd like to keep some of my damn brain cells." He'd hung up on Garth at that point, and Sam had quietly texted him to apologize.

"What is your problem?" he'd asked. Dean had grumbled about how if people were going to give him stupid fucking answers they may as well expect a smart ass response and had stomped off to the bathroom, which left Sam to pay the bill and cast an apologetic look to anyone that heard the exchange.

Now they were sitting outside of Ben's office, waiting for his boss to come back from his lunch break so that they could talk to him. Dean had been quiet since his outburst at the diner and Sam had left him to stew.

"You alright?" Dean shrugged.

"No worse than normal." He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and sighed. "This whole thing is stupid. A wild goose chase. None of this makes any sense."

"We'll figure it out. We always do." Sam looked at his watch. "Ben's boss should be back now, let's go." As they crossed the parking lot, Dean looked up at the building.

"What'd this guy do, anyway?" It was Sam's turn to shrug.

"Dunno. Something to do with computers, I think. I'm not entirely sure what we're going to find here, but I'm hoping someone knows more about Ava. Maybe he left his work computer behind." The receptionist buzzed them into the main office.

"You must be Agents Perry and Tyler." Sam nodded as he shook his hand.

"Yes, sir. You must be Mr. Brighton." The man smiled.

"You can just call me Matt. My dad is Mr. Brighton. Please, have a seat." Dean took the chair closest to the door, and let Sam take the lead.

"First of all, I'd like to say how very sorry I am for your loss, Mr. Brighton...Matt." Matt nodded.

"Ben was a good man. He certainly didn't deserve what happened to him."

"Was there anyone at all that he had trouble with, any enemies or anything?"

"Ben? Oh, absolutely not. Everyone loved him. He helped everyone, always went above and beyond. He was a great worker, and we were planning on promoting him again. You couldn't ask for a better co-worker or friend." Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"What about his girlfriend?" Matt smiled sadly.

"Ava. She's a sweet girl. She's a bit on the odd side, but she's always been friendly towards me." Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Odd? What made her odd?"

"Ben didn't discuss too much about it with me, but it sounded like she had a bit of a...rough past, I guess you could say. Nothing that she could have helped, but it affected her socially I think. She wasn't super friendly in that she would go out of her way to talk to you, but if you talked to her first she'd be very friendly and kind. She constantly had a sketchbook in her hand, although I never saw any of her work. Ben brought her to a couple of holiday parties, but she mostly kept to herself. Beautiful girl, but something about her was kind of...unsettling. I think people wondered why Ben was even with her. But I'll tell you, the sun rose and set with that girl, she was Ben's life. I hope you find her." Sam nodded.

"So do we. Is there any way we can get access to Ben's work? We just need to cross all the t's, dot all the i's. If we could maybe get his laptop if it's here, we can rule out any possibilities that would be work related."

"Yea, sure. Normally this wouldn't be an option, client confidentiality and all that, but I'm guessing the FBI being involved rules that out, huh?" He turned to walk out, but then paused and looked back at them. "This has been really hard on us. I hope you find the bastard that did it." Matt left to get Ben's laptop and files. Dean leaned back and rolled his eyes.

"She's odd because she's quiet and keeps to herself? What kind of bullshit answer is that?" Sam glared at Dean, finally reaching a breaking point with his attitude.

"Can you at least wait until we are out of this building before you start mouthing off? I'd like to get the stuff we came here for before you get us kicked out," Sam hissed. Dean returned the glare and fell silent. Matt returned with a box of folders and Ben's laptop bag.

"Here gentleman, I hope this helps." Sam gave Matt a genuine smile.

"I'm sure it will, thanks Matt."

Sam sat at the table, looking through Ben's files and laptop. Ben had started out doing over the phone troubleshooting for various electronics. He had succeeded at that and had been working on various projects, and although still on the phone, he was managing larger accounts. Sam been staring at account records for at least two hours, and had found nothing. He stood and stretched while looking at the map he had put up on the wall.

"Find anything?" Sam shook his head.

"No, not yet." He looked at Dean and groaned. The elder Winchester was leaned back on the bed, looking at a copy of Busty Asian Beauties and was in the middle of feeding the Magic Fingers another quarter. "Could you maybe help me with this instead of making me feel uncomfortable?" Dean grinned.

"I'm in my happy place, Sam. Happy place." Sam grimaced.

"Let's hope not too happy. Can you please just not?" Dean rolled his eyes and tossed the magazine on the night stand.

"Whatever, Poindexter." He stood and cracked his knuckles. "I'm going out." Sam looked at him, exasperated.

"What happened to 'catching the son of a bitch that did this'?" Dean shrugged his jacket on and paused as he opened the door.

"Looks like you've got it covered here. Maybe someone at the bar will know something."

"Yea, or maybe you'll find the answer at the bottom of a whiskey bottle." As soon as he said it, Sam regretted it. He waited for Dean to go off on him, but instead Dean looked at him with what appeared to be sadness, but then his face hardened and he turned to walk out the door.

"Fuck you, Sam. Don't wait up." He slammed the door behind him and Sam sighed. He shouldn't have said anything to him about his drinking habits. He'd been worried about Dean and alcohol for awhile, but he'd learned to pick his battles. This hadn't been a good time to bring it up. He was confused about Dean's wishy washy attitude, one minute absolutely against taking the case, then declaring he was going to take care of it, and now back to not caring. Sam decided that confronting him about it later would be the best course of action and looked back at the map. The addresses of each victim were circled, including Ben and Ava, plus the locations where each body was found. Although they weren't grouped around a particular spot, they were still scattered around the same area of town. He leaned against the table, stretching his back as he stared at Ben's laptop. He knew there was a connection, but damned if he could actually see it.

"Dammit..." He flopped back into the chair and scrolled through the accounts Ben had been responsible for. Most of them were fairly large accounts, ones that been with his company for years, but scattered throughout were newer start up businesses that had only been with them for a year or two. They all had lists of employees and addresses for the businesses themselves. Each account also included phone numbers for each of the employees, which their own sub-account was linked to so that when they called for help, Ben could annotate which associate he had helped and what he had done. The entire system was something that Ben himself had come up with a couple of years ago, and it was impressive. He stopped scrolling. One of the addresses had caught his eye. He clicked on the account and browsed through the names. Nothing seemed off, but his eyes were drawn back to the address. He glanced back at the map, then back at the computer. "Wait..." He went back to the map and looked closer. In the middle of all the body drops, the address he had recognized had appeared. Although listed as a business, the address was in the warehouse district, on the far corner away from the ones that had been reclaimed. Sam entered the address into a map search and pulled up the street view. The building was old and appeared untouched. A fence surrounded, an old rusty chain link with wicked looking barbed wire topping it. Since the street dead ended at the far end of the lot, he couldn't see what the rest of the building looked like. He checked the account again; the business name was Hayya and Sons, the same company that owned the warehouse. "Hayya...hayya..." Something felt familiar about the word, and he grabbed his father's journal and began flipping through the pages. He found what he was looking for and stared at the translation, his heart in his throat as he realized what the word meant. "Living thing..." He flipped back and forth, trying to find another option, another explanation, but came back to the page labeled 'Eve, mother of monsters'. "Holy shit," he whispered to no one. "He's an alpha. An alpha vetala." He still wasn't sure how that connected to the brutality of the attacks and the obvious sexual assault on the last two girls, but he had a terrible feeling he wouldn't like the answer when he finally found one. He fumbled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dean. The phone went straight to voicemail. "Dammit, Dean, answer your goddamn phone. You need to get back here. I think I know what's going on. I don't know what to do, man. Just...get back here." He tossed the phone on the table and ran a hand over his tired eyes. Why would an alpha go to all this trouble? He sat down at his own laptop. It was too late to call Garth, but he hoped he could find something online that would be somewhat useful. "Probably not," he sighed. The vetala had kept his previous victims for at least a month and Ava had only been gone a week. Sam hoped that he stuck to his pattern now.

Sam jerked awake at the sound of the door crashing open. He grimaced as he raised his head from the awkward position on the table. Dean slammed the door behind him and threw his jacket on the chair opposite of Sam, whistling to himself.

"Rise and shine, Sammy!" Sam's eyes narrowed against the sudden burst of light as Dean turned on the lamp, then plopped on the bed to take off his boots.

"Dude, it's two in the morning." Dean grinned.

"Well, that's true. Technically morning though, right?" Sam glared at him silently. "Did you find anything?"

"If you'd bother answering your damn phone, you'd know."

"Oh Sammy, so bitchy, even for you. Just tell me what you found." So, Sam did. He explained how a dummy corporation had been set up in order to purchase the warehouse, and how that same corporation had set up a phony account with Ben's company. He explained how all the numbers listed as employees were related to the dead girls, and also to a multitude of other missing persons spanning several states. Although their phones had been left behind, he had somehow duplicated their number, and had never been caught using them. He'd used them to contact Ben on several occasions. He explained that the name of the company was the Hebrew word for living thing, and how that had led him to their father's journal, specifically the section regarding Eve and the alphas. Dean sat quietly listening, wishing that he had been slightly more sober when he'd come back, because everything that Sam said was fuzzy and he was having trouble concentrating on it. He kept reminding himself that this was important, this is how they'd find the girl and save the day, but all he could think about was her laughing, so carefree and happy. Not quite like Jo, she'd had a lot of baggage. But it was his baggage. She'd been the only person who had truly understood his life, and the dangers and bullshit that went with it. She had understood the tumultuous relationship he had with Sam sometimes and had never tried to force him to forgive and forget when all he wanted was to scream. She didn't judge his drinking, hell, she joined him...because she knew that that was sometimes the only way the nightmares would go away. She had made him feel less broken. He was sick of losing people who deserved better. Dean lurched to his feet.

"We've gotta find her, man. She's alone with that dick, who knows what he wants to do with her, what he's already done." He stumbled towards the door but Sam stood and placed a hand gently on his brother's chest.

"Dude, you are in no shape. It's two in the morning, and we have no idea why he's doing what he's doing. He's kept the others for a long time, we've got time. Not to mention we have no idea what to expect from an alpha vetala...this is new territory and we need to be ready. We know where the building is, we just have to make sure-" Dean shoved him, hard, anger flashing across his face.

"I'm fine, goddammit. Jo is out there, and she needs us. We can't just leave her, man." Sam looked at Dean confused.

"Jo? What are you talking about?" Dean tried to push past Sam again, but Sam held his ground. "Jo is gone, Dean...she's gone. We're looking for Ava. Ava." Dean stopped trying to get past Sam and stared at him blankly.

"That's what I said. Ava." Sam gently guided Dean to the bed and pushed him into a sitting position.

"No, dude, you said Jo." He pulled the chair over to sit across from his brother and leaned forward. Dean was not into sharing, but Sam realized that this went beyond just some girl that happened to look like their friend. "Spill, man. What is your deal? I haven't heard you mention Jo in years. I know Ava kinda looks like her-" Dean looked at him sharply. "Okay, really looks like her, but...why now? I miss her too, her and Ellen. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal now..." The look on Dean's face stopped him. The older man looked desperate and lost. He dropped his head and Sam could tell he was trying to hide his tears. "Hey, I'm sorry...we don't have to talk about it, okay? I didn't mean to bring up something...' he trailed off as Dean shook his head.

"It's fine," he said brusquely. "I...something happened." Sam watched Dean quietly, not wanting to push him. After a moment, Dean looked up at the ceiling and took a shaky breath. "It was one of the times you split, and I was staying with Bobby..."

Dean paced back and forth in the gravel, muttering to himself and getting more and more angry. The junkyard was quiet except for the crunch of his boots and mumbled obscenities. "'Gotta be on my own, Dean, I have to do this on my own.' What a crock of shit." He threw his beer bottle at one of the wrecks and it shattered, the glass glinting in the moonlight.

"Whoa there, tiger, calm down." Dean glanced up to see Jo walking towards him, an open beer in each hand. "It's a good thing I thought you might need a refill." Dean grunted and accepted the beer as he leaned against the Impala. "Sam?"

"Oh, not you too. I get it, he's an adult, he can make his own choices. Don't go looking for him." Jo chuckled and Dean glared at her. She held her hands up as if to surrender.

"Not what I was going to say." She leaned against the Impala, dangerously close to Dean, her hip almost grazing his.

"What were you going to say?" he asked gruffly, acutely aware of just how close she was sitting.

"I was going to say you have every right to be upset. He shouldn't have left you." She took a sip of her beer and continued quietly. "He loves you, you know, way more than you could ever realize. You're his big brother, he'd do anything for you. And let's be honest, you were there for him way more than John ever was." She paused and looked at him out of the corner of her eye, expecting him to disagree. Dean said nothing. "Point is, the guy...he feels broken, less than. I can't imagine knowing that you have this...this thing...this darkness inside of you that you had no choice in. He's scared, Dean...he's scared of becoming a monster and turning into the things we hunt, but most importantly, he's scared of hurting you. Doesn't make it less upsetting to you that he left, though. And here you are, blaming yourself for a decision that he made. Newsflash, ace, it's not your fucking fault." She tilted her head back and stared at the stars. He looked at her with mild surprise. Jo was typically a girl of few words, but damn did she deliver when she decided to use them.

"Yea...maybe you're right."

"Do you ever just look up?" Dean laughed.

"Not usually. Good way to get your ass kicked." Jo smiled.

"You should try it. Nothing around to kick your ass now, unless you're scared of me, Winchester." He looked at her, her long blonde hair draped over one shoulder and a ghost of a smile on her lips, and realized just how scared of her he really was. He looked up and was amazed at how clear the sky was, the stars scattered across the darkness like diamonds on velvet. He put his hand down on the hood to steady himself and felt Jo's hand resting under his. He thought about moving it, and after realizing that he didn't want to, settled himself in closer to Jo, still looking at the sky. His heart jumped when he felt her lean into his side, her heat radiating through him. They stood that way for a moment, each trying to ignore how they could feel the other breathing they were standing so close, until Dean couldn't stand it anymore. He turned to look at her only to catch her staring at him. Slowly, he reached up and traced her jawline with his thumb, his green eyes locked with her deep brown, his heart racing, and tilted his head slightly as if asking her permission. She smiled, and cupping his hand around the back of her neck, Dean pulled her against him. Her lips were warm and soft on his, and he worked his mouth gently against hers. He couldn't help but run his tongue over her bottom lip, and he never in a million years had thought someone could taste so good, a mixture of vanilla and beer, and cinnamon. Her mouth opened slightly in response and he nervously slipped his tongue against hers, searching her mouth eagerly. He buried his hands in her hair and pulled her close, and felt her hands grip the front of his shirt. Jo nipped at his lower lip and Dean groaned. He pulled back, his lips barely touching Jo's, and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Jo..." he whispered, breathing her in, dizzy with her scent.

"Yea, ace? Having second thoughts?" He stroked her hair, amazed at how soft it was. He should be having second thoughts. It was dangerous, a stupid idea. Hunters died young, and they died nasty. The Winchesters had proven time and time again that to get close to them was almost like signing a death warrant. He should tell her that they had to stop, that it was a nice thought but that it would be better for her if they forgot about it and moved on. But he realized that it wouldn't be better for him, and for once in his short and bloody life, he wanted to be selfish.

"We probably shouldn't," he murmured as his lips brushed her ear. Jo shifted into him, her hips thrusting into his, and he felt his body react. She brought his face back to hers and smiled against his lips.

"It seems like not all of you agrees with that statement." Dean growled as he picked her up and sat her on the Impala's hood. She looked up at him then, and brought her hand up to his cheek. "I don't agree either." She pulled his face back to hers and kissed him hard, her hands roaming across his chest and around to his back. She gasped as Dean pushed himself between her legs, his large hands on her hips as he rocked into her. They stayed that way for a moment, tasting each other, exploring each other outside of their clothes like a couple of teenagers. She felt Dean's hand slide up from her hip, up under her shirt, and into her bra, cupping her breast softly with his calloused hand. She moaned against his mouth and she felt him smile. Without breaking their kiss, he unbuttoned her shirt and tossed it behind her on the windshield, then with one hand, took her bra off and tossed that too. "Impressive, Winchester," she whispered, "what else can you do?" He pulled away from her then, smile still on his lips, and pulled his shirt off. She couldn't help but stare. She had seen him shirtless before, had even patched him up a couple of times, but nothing prepared her for the way it felt when he pulled her into him, his bare skin sizzling against hers, his muscles rippling in all the right places. He leaned in close, his breath tickling her ear.

"Why don't I show you?" She wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up and carried her to the back of the Impala. She was amazed at how strong he was as he held her up with one arm and threw the back door open with the other. He gently laid her in the back seat then stood up, his hands on the button of his jeans. He paused and looked at her, as if expecting her to change her mind. She simply nodded at him, and he kicked his boots off, then removed his jeans and boxers in one swift motion. She looked at him hungrily, amazed at how built he was. She'd always thought he might be just as built below his belt as he was above, but he surpassed even what she expected. He slid in to join her in the backseat, and positioned himself above her. His green eyes flashed in the moonlight, and he paused again. She realized that he looked worried. "Are you sure, Jo? I can't promise...:" She placed a finger gently on his lips to silence him and smiled softly.

"In our world, who can?" Dean dipped down, breathing her in as his lips traced her collar bone. He felt her skin prickle at his touch, so he moved down slowly, teasing her as he went. He traced her nipple with his tongue lazily before pulling it fully into his mouth. Jo gasped, her breath hitching at the sensation of his breath and tongue as he gently sucked on her breast. Dean switched sides, placing his thumb and forefinger where his mouth once was and began flicking her other nipple gently with his tongue. He slid slowly down her belly, his whiskers leaving a trail of warmth on her skin. Dean kissed along the edge of where her jeans rested, focusing on each hip bone before slipping his hand under the band. There was a fire deep in her belly, and she ached for him to touch her. "Dean..." she whimpered, pushing her hips towards him as his finger slid down just enough to graze that tiny bundle of nerves. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders as he barely touched it, teasing her. He wanted her to beg for it. "Dean...please...", but regretted it as soon as she said it because the delicious pressure his finger had left was gone. He pulled her jeans and panties off together and tossed them in the front seat. The sight of her pale skin and long blonde hair spread across the dark seat of the Impala, glowing in the moonlight, was almost too much for him to take. He resumed his position between her legs, nudging her knees apart so he could reach her better. Slowly, Dean ran a finger down her folds, teasing her entrance and spreading her wetness to her clit. He watched her, and his cock jumped when she dropped her head back and closed her eyes, practically purring. Gently, he slid his finger inside her, plunging in and out slowly as if testing the waters, making sure she was okay before he slipped a second finger in. The sounds she was making were killing him and he wanted nothing more than to be inside her, but she deserved more than that. He curved his fingers back towards him, hitting that sweet spot perfectly. She bucked her hips and cried out, nothing coherent, just a string of obscenities and moans. At that moment, Dean needed to taste her, wanted to know if her slit tasted as good as her mouth. He dipped his tongue into it, lapping at her wetness. "Sweet Jesus," she moaned as she buried her hands into Dean's hair.

"You can just call me Dean, sweetheart." His deep voice rumbled against her, and she felt herself getting close to the edge. She laughed and moaned at the same time.

"Dean it is," she replied, out of breath. Dean could feel that she was getting close, but he wasn't ready to let her go. He pulled himself up and away from her, settling on his knees. Jo looked at him, lust in her eyes and her mouth slightly open. He grabbed his cock and pumped it a couple of times and her heavy eyes watched him as he reached down and ran his hand through her wetness before stroking himself once more. He re-positioned himself over her, guiding his head just slightly outside of her entrance. Jo hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until he started to push inside of her. "Ohhhh..." Her eyes closed as she felt him slowly easing inside, stretching her in places she'd not even imagined. Dean had to stop and take a steadying breath; he was already so close to coming he wasn't sure how long he was going to last. He pushed further until he was finally seated all the way inside of her, and he rested there for a moment, letting her get used to the length of him. "Dean, I need you...please..." she started rocking against him and he matched her slow pace at first.

"Fucking Christ, Jo...I didn't know it could feel this good..." She looked up at him with hooded eyes and tried to respond, but Dean had quickened his pace and any rational thoughts left her mind.

"Oh God, Dean...you feel so good." Dean hooked one of her legs around his hip, and began rubbing his thumb across her clit. He gripped her hip with his free hand and his thrusting became faster and more desperate. He had never felt something so wonderful, so perfect. For the first time in his life, it didn't feel empty. His steady pace began to falter as he raced towards the edge and he forced himself to wait. He wanted to her to come first. He began rubbing her clit faster. "Dean...I'm so close...please don't stop..." He pulled her upright so that they were sitting up and she was facing him, riding him.

"Cum for me, sweetheart. Come on, baby." He quickened his pace as well as he could without beating her to it, and began kissing her neck.

"Dean...oh my God...I'm going to...ooohhhhh." He felt her muscles tighten around him as she threw her head back, a sob escaping her.

"It's okay, I've got you...I've got you. Oh, Jo...I think...I'm so close..." He moved as if he was going to pull out and she held him in place with her thighs.

"Go on, Dean," she breathed heavily, "I want to feel it." Those words alone were enough to throw him over the edge. He buried his face into her neck and cried out her name. They leaned into each other for a moment, each trying to catch their breath. They slid down in the seat, and Dean wrapped her shivering body into his. Dean had never felt so complete in his life. He'd been with a lot of women, but Jo...no one compared to Jo. He felt her lips brush his jaw and looked down at her.

"Where'd you go, ace?" Dean smiled.

"Oh...no where.I was just thinking of how good this feels." He stared at her, her messy hair clinging to her sweat soaked body, and she smiled up at him. "Jo..I..." She leaned up and gently covered his lips with her own.

"I know."

Sam looked at Dean, his eyes wide. Dean had stared at the floor the entire time he spoke, his hands hanging limply between his knees. He finally looked up at Sam, his green eyes shining with tears that threatened to spill over, and Sam realized something that he should have noticed a long time ago. He thought back to the moment at the hardware store, right before he and Dean had left Jo and Ellen behind. Sam had said goodbye to each of them as he tried desperately not to cry, but Dean had surprised him. He'd knelt down in front of Jo, and tilted her chin up gently so that they were looking at each other. He kissed the top of her head, and then as if thinking better of it, leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Sam had thought it was innocent enough at the time, but now he realized what had actually been going on.

"You loved her...didn't you?" he asked quietly. Dean looked up at the ceiling, willing his tears to go away, and laughed. It was a humorless laugh.

"Yea...I guess I did." Dean didn't guess anything. He had loved her, fiercely. Not even Lisa could have compared to the love he had for Jo. It had taken that one night in the Impala to make him realize it, but he did. They had only been together the one time, although they had been able to sneak away on a couple of occasions just to be alone, but Dean had thought he'd had plenty of time. He should have known better. Jo had basically forfeited her right to life when she ended up with him. It's what happened every time a Winchester loved someone.

"Is that why you want to help Ava? Because she looks like Jo?" It felt like a slap in the face, a cheap reason to help someone that needed him. But it was true. He'd seen her, and saw Jo. His beautiful Jo with the long blonde hair and freckles, laughing in the sunlight on the rare occasion they were alone. It was selfish, and he knew it. But he couldn't save Jo, couldn't change what happened, but perhaps if he helped Ava a little bit of balance would be restored. He nodded.

"Kind of...it's how it started. I just...I couldn't save Jo, Sammy. I got her into that mess, and I'm the reason she..." he couldn't finish his sentence. Saying it out loud made it a million times worse. "I need to fix it. I need to help this girl. I know it won't bring Jo back, I get it. But I can't fail again, man. I can't..." His head dropped down on his chest and Sam could tell that he was about to fall over. He caught Dean before he could hit the floor and gently moved him up further on the bed, then covered him with a blanket. Within seconds, Sam could hear gentle snores. Dean was out.

"We'll find her, Dean. We'll find her and she'll be fine." Sam sighed, unsure if he even believed it himself.

@wheresthekillswitch @sassyspn67 @trexrambling

Chapter 6: The One Where Ava Learns The Hard Way

[nightmareduskie]

A Soul’s Power (Part Three)

Summary: Y/N is a hunter and is friends with Dean and Sam. But one day she joins a hunt with them and find something interesting. A man with wings! How is this possible? How can she see them? Soon enough, she finds out she can see other things too. What makes her see these things? What makes her so special? Characters: Sam, Dean, ugly ass demonz Pairings: Future Gabriel x reader Warnings: Swearing, gross stuff, I guess that’s it.

Word Count: 1500~ (listen, I’ll never really know the true amount)

Part One.  Part Two.   READ THESE FIRST NOOBS!!! :P

A/N: Here’s part three. Which was supposed to be part of part two, but this part is more exciting.Expect Part Four next week. I am a busy lady. Enjoy! ~Hollifer

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It didn't take long to pick a quick diner to eat at. Of course, I took shot gun from Sam. We didn't talk much on the ride. All I could think about is the missed opportunity to catch a glimpse at this man again. I had to admit, it was starting to become a bit obsessive. But I had to know what he was. Who he was. Just anything. It's something that no one else has ever seen. And only I saw it for what it was. Dean, Sam, Bobby... none of them saw it. If I confronted him, maybe I'd learn something about me. What made me see what they couldn't?

“Y/N,” I felt Sam's large hand at my shoulder, “Don't worry to much about it. You're a great hunter. The trickster... well... he's just... tricky.” Sam awkwardly offered.

“Wow!” Dean laughed with coated sarcasm, “I'd be damned if I thought of a better description for the trickster.”

I laughed and offered a small smile to Sam. He was always so sweet. Definitely the more emotional one, but he was the guy to talk to if you needed to get a load off. “Thanks.” I said, cracking the door of the Impala open. Sam and Dean followed my lead.

As always, Dean was the first to bust his ass through the door for some food. Sam and I soon after. But stepping through the doors gave me a sharp shiver and made me stop in my tracks. I glanced around my surroundings looking for what would cause this sudden instinctual reaction. A light smog surrounded a couple of the waiters and waitresses. And then I came face to face with the waiter handling us.

“Table for three?” They said. I gasped loudly at what I saw. Behind the waiter's face... was another face. A face that was there but almost wasn't. A bit transparent. But this face didn't look like an alive person's face. No, it was quite the opposite of a pump, flesh colored person's face. The face was that of a corpse, almost like the body was burned. It's skin was gray. Wrinkles giving it a traditional Chinese dragon looking appearance; just super not cute. Very grotesque. Some of it's gray flesh had been torn away from the side of it's scalp. Messy, frail, thin dark hair was caught into the bloody flesh that was left over from what had been torn off. It looked almost like a zombie, just much more menacing. It held itself as if it was the king of the universe. It smiled and it was reflected onto the human's face; showing it's control over the human's body. The waiter's teeth being clean and white. The face's teeth being jagged, yellow, and ever so slightly pointed at the ends. A slight odor of death came off of it as well. That light smog, which was more like dust, was surrounding this man's body. As it was for the other three waiters. His eyes were pitch black. It was ugly. It was unreal. I wasn't even sure if it was a man or a woman. The rest of it's body was also fairly human-like. But aged like it was sitting in a coffin after being burned for years. I almost gagged but mostly from the scent. And for some reason, I knew and I accepted that this was a demon's true face.

My sudden outburst caused Dean and Sam to turn and look at me with confused faces. I had to get over my shock and disgust and get them out. There was no way we could take four demons right now. I glanced over the other demons who all looked similar but still had different varieties of hair, gray skin colors, scars, and body types. It's too much. I had to get them out. And really had to get myself out to breathe and grasp what I just saw.

“I forgot- I-,” I stammered, grabbing the boy's arms, “Car!” I pulled them out of the diner as fast as I could drag two full grown men who were beating me with questions. “Get in the car!” I hissed at both of them. Which made them shut their mouths and obey. I opened the door and literally just fell into the car seat.

“Y/N, what the fuck is going on?” Dean breathed, seeing the fear in my eyes. I couldn't breathe a second ago. Breathing, I looked between both of them. I tried to find words but I couldn't find a single word. I had barely even a second to think about all this! How is this possible? Was it related to the trickster and his wings? Does that mean I could see any wings if someone had them? Angels? Demons? It's all real now. Angels... I can't deny that the trickster is actually an angel. If faces like demons exist, then the soft, beautiful appearance of the trickster means angels do to. My mind was racing a million miles a second. My anxiety, my fear, my confusion, my realization... all of it just overwhelming me.

“Y/N!” Sam shook my shoulder firmly but still soft, “What's going on? You're freaking us out!”

“The faces...” I managed to get out, trying to work out my thoughts.

“Faces?” Dean and Sam looked at each other with confusion as Dean spoke.

“The waiters. Their faces,” I started to come back to reality. Sam's hand offer comfort as he lightly pat my head. He used to do this after Bobby found me after my parents had been murdered. I was scared and anxious for awhile after what had happened. The fear of not knowing what happened was the most unsettling part for me as a kid. And still is today. Sam always took care of me best he could when it came down to my trauma with my parents. I breathed out slowly, “They're demons.”

“Demons?” Sam seemed more curious now, “How?”

“I saw their true faces,” I frowned looking at both of them. They both started to look worried. “They... look like corpses. Their eyes are black. So disgusting.” I paced myself trying to describe what I saw. Dean and Sam exchanged a glance of amazement. Which in turn made Dean look back at me with a more stern face. He needed more answers and more proof, as usual.

“Yeah, but how do you see the faces? They look like people to me.” Dean, always a skeptic.

“It's like a face faded behind another face. I don't know. It's hard to describe,” I sighed, fidgeting with my hair, “I'm... not sure how I see these things. Trust me, I'm just as confused. I feel traumatized. You just gotta trust me on this.” Dean sat back in his seat and stared out the windshield. Probably also trying to grasp this concept as well.

“You looked pretty traumatized there for a good couple minutes,” Sam offered an arm rub. It was good to know they looked out for me and trusted me. Sam especially with his psychic thing he's been going through. They both don't talk much about it to me. I heard it was demon related possibly. Dean didn't like him using the psychic stuff because of that reason. I wondered if the fact I saw demons made him anxious about my situation too. I'm sure they all had their secrets about this and that and I definitely wasn't ready to drop the angel bomb yet. I can only imagine just telling them that I thought I saw an angel. Dean wouldn't believe it for a second. Sam would be easier to convince but it's still far-fetched. Even I was still coping with that.

“Well,” Dean turned to look at us, “Game plan: wait it out until the civilians are out of the place. Night time, obviously. And we go in there and give 'em an old fashion exorcism. That's all we can do. I got a good amount of holy water in the trunk.”

“Right,” Sam eyed me carefully, wondering if I needed more time to deal with what was going on.

“Good plan,” I said with a smile. I wasn't gonna let this change everything. If anything, it's a good thing. I can be a better help. I can spot the demons now. My usefulness as a hunter went up pretty high.

“We have our secret weapon now,” Dean playfully punched my arm and smiled, “Our very own Y/N demon radar detector.”

This was enough to relax Sam out of his concern. However he still seemed tense. Maybe because Dean wasn't a fan of things that weren't “human” or “natural”. Either way, this was a plus. There was no freaky side-effects. I just saw things for what they were. I was probably always like this. I'm no different now.

As the plan, we waited until nighttime and raided the four members of staff who I pointed out as demons. We exorcised them and thankfully didn't harm the lives of the humans they possessed. I watched the demons faces as they were exorcised. Pain, and fear crossed their features until they just vanished. I had to give demons props though, they sure knew how to shit talk about how tough they are and how they'll come back, all through scared, ugly faces. And with that, we went back to the hotel room. I spent the night and carried on the next day. The boys offered me some supplies to take on my trip. They practically begged me to stay but I told them I had to take care of some things of my own. And that wasn't a lie. I had to find the trickster; the angel. There were a lot of unanswered questions and who better to answer them than an angel.

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@readingreaver @books-netflix-and-pizza @the-chick-with-the-best-fandom

[thedramafilesblog-blog]

Appearing before the Dramacourt: The Universe’s Star EP 01

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

Issues:

Whether this particular take on Reapers is hilarious.

Whether being asked to write love songs while not actually being allowed to experience love is realistic.

Whether the friendship between the Ghost and the Reaper is believable.

Whether it was right for Suho to seem like a secondary character when he’s actually the male lead.

Whether this drama caters to a real fan girl fantasy?

The Rule(s):

Absolutely. This drama does not fall short in its interpretation of a Reaper’s lifestyle.

Hell No! It makes absolutely no sense that these poor kids are being forced to write love songs when never actually having experienced it at all. In what universe (LOL!) is this realistic?

Totally. As people who are fangirls and have BFFs who are fangirls as well, we totally feel the ‘realness’ of these two girls’ friendship!

Not really. But then again, the female lead is really really good, so his whole ‘rich idol schtick’ tends to fly under the radar.

Totally. What fangirl doesn’t want to save their bias from impending death?

Analysis:

RedRosette J: Hey Peeps! We’re back with another new review! This time we decided to review this mini-drama within a mini-drama (?). Its part of the Three Colour Fantasy series that aired (some are still airing) somewhere between February and April this year (this drama is the colour White). Right off the bat, the first drama, The Universe’s Star, totally won us over. Probably because most of the dramas have been absolute crap recently *cough Hwarang cough* and we just didn’t want to waste time on the longer ones. But if you guys have been reading our reviews, you’ll know that its really hard to win our favour and this drama did! I binged this drama on a Sunday night and let me tell you, it has been awhile since a drama has given me that ‘I don’t know what to do with myself’ feeling once it ended, but this drama did. 90% of this drama was great and I loved almost everything about it.

Jubiemon J: I actually finished this drama earlier than RedRosete who insisted on waiting till the series was over until she’d watch it. I really enjoyed the drama series overall. The cinematography is amazing and the plot is intricate. The director/writer (she took the two roles) was amazing with her work! She has a very recognisable film style which is very beautiful and artsy. I loved it. Anyway, I’ll focus my comments on ep 1 later on.

RedRosette J: Perhaps the biggest thing was that it was written and directed by Kim Ji Hyun, the genius behind Splish Splash Love (such an amazing drama btw). The cinematography was beautiful; absolutely breathtaking shots with a very nostalgic vibe. The script was very well written. The lead actress Ji Woo was really amazing as a underdog, loser, nerdy girl type that everyone loves to root for. She was really good in bringing the cringe to awkward interactions with the male lead and sold us on her inferiority complex. The side characters were played by pretty seasoned actors so the quality shone through. They may have been on screen for a few minutes, but they were already very well developed and well portrayed.

My only criticism for this drama was the male lead, Suho. The character was a bit bland and the obvious ‘perfect goody goody idol who’s really a boy next door’ type and I felt like he really couldn’t or didn’t bring much else to the table. There were some comedic moments which he did very well (he should seriously consider slapstick roles), but I felt like overall, the bulk of the romance was carried by the female lead. It might have had to do with the fact that Suho was a newbie actor, I don’t know, but something was definitely lacking. But other than that, it was a really well done drama.

Jubiemon J: I actually think the director was really smart making sure that the writing and filming of this drama compensated Suho’s lack of experience in acting. From episode one, we understand Woojoo (Suho’s character) from the female protagonist’s POV. She is the one admiring him from afar and letting us understand him. In a way, we’re spoon fed Woojoo’s personality like how an author would descriptively write about a character in a novel. We don’t understand Woojoo initially from his actions or behaviour. We’re pretty much told what he’s like because of her. That storytelling technique works perfectly not only because this drama is about a fan loving an idol, but also because we won’t be able to see Suho potentially act in a cringy manner.

I don’t think Suho’s character was a huge negative to this drama and I don’t think the director cast the wrong actor. Suho does fit the clean, proper idol image very well; I think as an EXO member people do see him as the boy next door with great manners. I do get a sense that either Suho may not be very experienced in love in real life, he just is not a very expressive person in love, or he may not have loved someone very deeply on a romantic level. I say that because although he is great at showing his feelings of unrequited love or acting nervous/shy around his crush, he is not so believable when it comes to the lovey dovey moments he shares with Byul (I’ll probably talk about that later.)

She dead…

LMAO!

Snippets of truth 

How gorgeous is that?!?

Stealing puppies and hearts like…

She’s a really good actress! 

Issue 1: Whether this particular take on Reapers is hilarious

RedRosette J: Lately, the dramaverse has been giving out really awesome interpretations of Reapers (Lee Dong Wook in Goblin anyone?) and this drama certainly doesn’t fall short. I liked how they had to put on the fake makeup to look more “dead” and they wore the hanbok style outfit like a uniform. I loved how it was all super bureaucratic with a Manager and a Scorecard board. Hilarious. (Just like real life). I loved the sentiment that even in death, competition and targets are a real deal. It was also funny how the reapers were rewarded according to how many souls they reaped; which was why Byul was on the bicycle having very low stats and the hoobae guy drove a fancy black car. You could feel the pressure on the Reapers to work hard and the lack of cooperation of the dead people, just like a real life client relationship LOL! It was really well written for such a short drama.

Jubiemon J: I liked this fresh approach to grim reapers. I didn’t feel like I was watching a rehash of the reapers from Goblin, which was a plus. I did like how they made it seem like a company thing and the company culture was not as formal as the one in Goblin. I really enjoyed the bickering among the employees and the gossiping. That was hilarious!

#brokeassreaper

#worklunch

When your co-worker drops a bomb on you…

Job stability is an issue even in death *sigh*

Issue 2: Whether being asked to write love songs while not actually being allowed to experience love is realistic

RedRosette J: Finally! a drama is actually openly addressing this dilemma. For anyone familiar with Kpop, you know that the idol trainees usually aren’t allowed to date which is completely insane because then they are expected to sing and write songs about romance and love which they know nothing about. Especially because most become trainees when they are very very young! It is completely unrealistic and the stupidest rule ever. Kudos to this drama for bringing it up!

Jubiemon J: Yes it’s completely unrealistic for idols to sing or write about love songs and not even get a chance to experience love. How are we supposed to be convinced about what they’re singing or writing? That’s why I don’t think it’s bad at all for idols to date. They should! They’re normal human beings with other emotional needs.

RedRosette J Aside: This is just a bonus and totally unrelated to the drama but BTS actually roasted their boss on a Christmas parody song about this no dating rule! Skip to 1.08 for the lyrics! )

Issue 3: Whether the friendship between the Ghost and the Reaper is believable.

RedRosette J: Totally. I love these two! Death didn’t stop them from being fan girls! Honestly, as a fan girl myself, I totally understand the friendship with another fan girl; its a weird sort of understanding…it’s difficult to describe….But anyway, these two were a total hoot! Especially when they “stalked” him to “protect” him. Very well done!

Jubiemon J: They’re so cute together! I feel like Redrosette and I sometimes have very similar conversations as these two regarding our favourite idols! Hahaha! Of course we don’t stalk our idols though. These two . . . . Hahaha.

BFFs

When you tryna stop your BFF from doing stupid stuff

When you lying about being sick to get off work

#realtalk

Issue 4: Whether it was right for Suho to seem like a secondary character when he’s actually the male lead

RedRosette J: It’s odd but this drama really focuses on the female lead and even when we do see the male lead, its really with a preconception of what he is like because we’ve already been introduced to him through her eyes. He also didn’t say or do much and his acting range was quite minimal so its hard to judge exactly what was wrong with the character, but something was just off. I wish that they’d cast a more seasoned actor for the role because it would have brought the added connection to the romance. I wasn’t really sold on Suho selling us the romance. It really fell flat for me and I just couldn’t feel the sincerity from him so it really didn’t feel like he was the male lead if you will. Sorry. But hey, at least he’s so so so much better than Baekhyun so….there is that.

Jubiemon J: Ah, I talked about this earlier, so I’ll be brief. I think it was right for Suho to seem like a secondary character in the first episode. She’s a fan, so she has to love from afar. It’s not realistic for a fan to suddenly meet an idol and bam they’re in love. You can also feel the strength of her love for him as an idol through this way of storytelling. Plus, as I mentioned before, since Suho doesn’t have much experience in acting, this storytelling works in favour for him. There’s not really an opportunity for him to suck at acting because he is doing what he’d probably do every day as an idol.

*cue First Love – BTS (Suga)*

Bunnies and Suho. Yes Please. 

Issue 5: Whether this drama caters to a real fan girl/fan boy fantasy

RedRosette J: Absolutely. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had my fair share of fan girl fantasies so this drama is right up that alley. And she sold it very well. I mean coming back from death to save the pop star you had a crush on only to have him actually fall in love with you? Yeah. That’s where its at.

Jubiemon J: So true. I think any fan girl/fan boy would be able to understand how Byul feels!

When your crush sits next you O.O

hubba hubba

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 4 = I’ll Give You A Cookie (It’s been awhile since anyone got cookies from us, but this episode totally deserves it! In fact, take 2 cookies!)

File No: The-Universe’s-Star-EP-01 Appearing before the Dramacourt: The Universe's Star EP 01 ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***