#very excited for the song titled ‘egg’

[bluestrd]

sorry for those of you that have me added on airbuds

i’m preparing to be insufferable 😼 what can i say

djo on REPEAT🩵

[deadonyouraccount]

Life Was Easy When It Was Boring - Gwayne H. x Targaryen!Reader

A/N: Hello I said I wasn’t writing but I did anyways bc @wicked-barbie inspired me now back to reposting on ao3, also the title is song lyrics from the police - darkness

Rating: Explicit

WC: 2.4k

Tags: PWP, 80’s corporate vacay, ARUBA!, I do get in the weeds about the au, Rhaenyra’s sister!Reader, Aemma lives, background Rhaenicent, bisexual Gwayne, I physically cannot go without mentioning Criston, dirty talk, oral m!receiving, f!masturbation, Otto argues w daemon while reading fiscal reports by the pool, Gwayne’s mannerisms are so very important to me

The soft din of breakfast being served drew you out of your thoughts. You scanned the room, seeing your sickly father— your mother rubbing his shoulders, a furrow between her brows. You were nineteen, Rhaenyra twenty-two, and set to inherit the family company. Aemma couldn’t have children anymore and now your father had cancer. Things needed to be tidied up considering her gender. Idiotic but whatever, she was intelligent and driven, you idolized your sister.

She was being courted around by the Velaryon shipping heir— you had a feeling she’d found a loophole. Your sister in a sarong, Alicent on her arm passed by, heading down to the pool to have breakfast, sparing no glance your way. You’d noticed Laenor certainly spent more time looking at men himself. A match was a match.

It was summer in the Northern Hemisphere. When the annual holiday to some destination most people couldn’t afford occurred. A neat bow for a two-week chance of expanding business. You went along for the ride, as was your duty.

This year it was Aruba. The Hotel Americana, sitting on lovely Palm Beach. You’d read about it in the Times. ‘Those who wish for familiar hotels with many resort amenities, nightlife, shopping, and gambling will like the scale and variety available.’

Hm. You had a feeling Otto was steering your father towards the economic boom of the United States right now. You went to University in Chicago, grateful for the warm weather. You were a bit shy and awkward, used to pubs and not clubs. Regardless, you liked the spa, courts, and the beach even if you looked like a ghost with that zinc-laden sunscreen your mother ‘offered’.

Not everyone had arrived yet. Uncle Daemon was to join with Laena, scandalously young, but she was strong and mature. Much like the women were in your family. You forked some eggs into your mouth, frowning. Laena calmed him, but he was certainly…chaotic. Daemon and Otto’s arguments were highly entertaining at the least.

Alicent was excited her brother was coming.

Gwayne Hightower was the enigmatic heir, a wildcard by all accounts, but he kept family ties. As a Targaryen looking in, it was expected of him to be ingratiated into the international conglomerate. Alicent was best friends with your sister, she knew all of you and held you as a baby.

The younger brothers who weren’t shucked off overseas in boarding school had their divisions to run and oversee. Where a Targaryen loomed, a Hightower stood in the shadow, pulling the strings, combing the pieces. Except Gwayne. He took off and moved to the States, you’d seen him in magazines.

“A male model, pah! He’s running from his birthright, he’ll learn once he arrives,” you heard Otto scoff to your father over breakfast, tossing a magazine out of his sight. You fiddled with your food, purple eyes peering out the large windows, scanning the bay.

You wondered if Otto held some hope for him. Alicent seemed to be doing just fine in his stead. Yet the idea of Rhaenyra becoming CEO ruffled feathers. Women in business…you certainly didn’t want it.

You thought about Gwayne again. He was handsome. Haughty, yet smiley with who he liked, a gleam in his eye like he held a secret, pretty teeth, and fine features. You were such an ugly duckling the last time you saw him. Baby fat, braces, pigtails. Horrid.

“You must be the other one,” he had laughed at some corporate dinner, earning some giggles and smiles. You smiled until you were alone and cried, watching your sister gleam, a shining star you wished to be.

The other one.

Perhaps you weren't too keen to see him again. Probably would bring a fellow model to strut around the beach with. Probably had a dumb smirk on his face, just like Criston used to. Probably would take a look at you and scoff about growing up and filling out.

You realized you were white-knuckling your utensil and carefully released your grip. You sighed, standing up to get dressed for the day, nodding at your parents.

It was always a flurry of neurotic dressing, comparing yourself to the willowy frame of Alicent and the athletic build of Nyra. Your therapist told you to dress how you wanted, not what you thought people expected. It was the age of athletic, leggy bodies— and you qualified for what felt like neither. Even if you played good field hockey back in school.

It’s not as if you were turned down often, but a bad relationship or harsh word left you insecure now and then.

“Curves, curves are pretty,” you muttered, tying on the top, a neon string bikini— one you'd bought on a whim shopping with your sister before the trip. The bottoms were cut high too, so you wrapped up in a big fishing shirt and slithered downstairs to hit the beach, a towel in one arm, a bag slung off your shoulder.

You walked out of the elevator, a clipped and haughty voice interrupting. They called, “Rhaenyra?”

You frowned. Not Rhaenyra. You turned to see the offender, lips set in a pout. Shock morphed your face. Gwayne Hightower, dressed in designer, his reddish hair all slicked and handsome, smug as you remembered. You blanched, blinking. Recognition flit over his blue eyes— a Cheshire smile upon his lips.

“Oh my, all grown up aren't you?”

He grinned, moving, holding you up as you tried to pass with a polite smile.

“Don’t you want to help a dear Hightower out?” He teased, followed by scoffing laughter. His bright eyes nonchalantly flicked to your face, then down to your tits and back. You would be lying if it didn’t feel good. You wanted him to look at you like that deep down.

What did you want?

You are supposed to be pissed off.

“I’m sure Otto has a whole itinerary for you, Gwayne,” you said coolly.

He shrugged, smiling to hide irritation, “I’m sure he does. I’ll see you on the beach, such a swan now aren’t you, no?”

You scowled, turning on your foot. He remembered the comment, the bastard had read your mind about the ugly duckling. You’d relax by the water and try to forget about his smug face, sharp cheeks, gorgeous blue eyes, and dark lashes- no!

“Fuck!” You hissed, scaring some old couple, ducking your head under your hat.

You’d been dozing under an umbrella, startled as the familiar voice of Gwayne disrupted your peace. He looked annoyed, a dismal look in his eye. The way his mouth pulled down reminded you of Otto and Alicent. You pushed back your hat, looking over at Gwayne lighting a cigarette in the adjacent lounger.

“Hello to you too, I take it you had a warm welcome?”

He scoffed, shrugging, “Oh, it’s always warm when Otto Hightower is in the room. Of course not, he wants me in the business, I want to live my life.” He exhaled a cloud of smoke, staring at the sand.

You mulled over his words, replying, “You could step down.”

“No. I’ll get there on my own time, I listen enough to not get routed immediately. I certainly didn’t come to this island to pour over reports,” he bit out, puffing again.

You hummed, knowing what he wanted. Gambling, girls, glamor. Flowing booze and powder. You saw the appeal, somewhat. Aspects. Perhaps you wanted to be the girl. You looked back at the waves in the distance, sighing, “Then why don’t you go and schmooze up over by the bar and beach volleyball, you’ll find Laenor down there.”

“Laenor,” he snorted, “Yes, playing slap ass I’m sure. He’s a fun time, I’ll admit.”

You pulled down your glasses. No man around you had ever uttered such things aloud. Gwayne laughed, grinning, eyes crinkling. He hummed, “You’re still so naive you know that? You’re a pretty little swan yet hiding out all alone. Men fuck men, it’s real and it’s quite pleasurable, darling.”

You fumed a little, he was tearing you to shreds with his mouth, and tossing the bits around with his hungry gaze. You sat up, glaring, blonde hair cascading down your shoulders. Your manicured nail jabbed at his Ralph Lauren-clad chest, soft voice growing sharp.

“You think you’re going to just waltz in and know everything? Tell me why you’re over here talking about fucking Laenor Velaryon with the spare daughter and not going to ‘enjoy yourself’ or whatever you said. Probably snorting and drinking up the nightclub and blowing your money on rummy. Trust me, I know the type, they just aren’t so blatantly ignorant!”

His smug smile dropped, eyes wide. The man looked chastised. Now you felt bad, frowning. You sighed, rubbing your forehead. Gwayne said nothing, looking to the side, and ashing out his cigarette. You apologized, gathering your scurried emotions.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not easy, all of this,” you gestured vaguely.

He replied quietly, “I was being an ass to you, you had every right.”

A beat of silence enveloped the air.

“You don’t have anyone else out of the circle to go to do you, Gwayne?”

He nodded- that grim look upon his face. You wanted it to go away. You didn’t like upsetting people. Rarely did you speak so candidly. Granted, he was an ass but you hated this tension. You wracked your mind for a quick solution.

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” You asked.

“W-what?” He spluttered, blue eyes going comically wide, spine stiffening.

You flushed, groaning at your inability to smooth things over. That was stupid. You should talk to your therapist about this. Thank God your mother let you pursue your career. You tried to speak, but your mouth was growing wet thinking about it. Sucking him off. The fucker hadn’t left your mind.

He cut you off, leaning in, voice husky, “So you're not that sweet little swan everyone thinks you are, hm? Using that pretty mouth, dating bad, bad guys like me. What else are you hiding?”

You whimpered, feeling exposed, the redhead looking around before gripping your waist and pulling you onto his lean thighs. He grinned again, eyes lidded as he watched your expression. Gwayne cooed, “Acting so shy, I thought you wanted to suck my cock baby?”

“I- I do, I just- I said it too soon. I was going to say I was holding resentments from the past against you and I'm sorry again for insulting you. Something is wrong with me? I think you're very, very attractive,” you rambled nervously.

He laughed lowly, stroking your hips and flanks, hands gentler than you expected. The heir nosed under your jaw, humming, “You’re so soft, God, you feel good.” He inhaled deeply, cock swelling and twitching underneath your weeping cunt, separated by thin swimwear.

“I should just sit out by the waves and take you apart, pretty girl, you want it, don’t you? As an apology, yes.”

You whimpered again, nodding, hands sliding his button up off his shoulders, ogling fair skin and a body he put work into. He wasn’t one of those overbuilt types you disliked. Gwayne grabbed the back of your head, meeting his lips with yours, slow and sensual, humming languidly.

Your left hand wrapped into copper locks, the other skimming his chest, a playful thumb sliding over his nipple. His breath hitched before laughing, “Cheeky.”

You resumed kissing him, growing eager, arching into his body, your hand sliding down to grip his cock, moaning softly. Gwayne’s tongue slipped into your mouth, your jaw widening some for better access, tongues gently rubbing on each push and pull. Your heart was thumping, Gwayne groaning as you squeezed his prick.

“I want it, let me let me,” you pled, lips swollen and hair mussed. Gwayne nodded breathlessly, hand on your cheek, the other grabbing a towel as he murmured, “For your knees at least.”

“There’s those manners,” you smiled, purple eyes flicking upward.

Pop. Gasp.

He snickered as your hands went up to cover your exposed tits. Yet not a soul was around and he was stroking his full prick through his swim shorts, handsome face flushed and smirking down at you. You slapped his outer thigh, huffing, “Just couldn’t take the compliment.”

He hummed lazily, “Mm- I just wanted the whole view, those tits and lips.”

Your lashes fluttered, cunt throbbing at his raspy tone. “Mhm, yes, you’ll get it all,” you murmured, easing down the shorts below his balls, Gwayne grunting in relief. Your eyes peered up at him, tying your thick silver hair up. He wrapped his hand around your ponytail, eyes studying you silently.

With a soft inhale, you lapped up the length of his cock, a hand on the tip, the other cupping his sack. You moaned along with him as you wet him nice and good, drooling on his flushed tip, pulling the skin back some. His head fell back with a sharp grunt, gasping your name as your lips enveloped the ruddy tip. You squirmed, thighs rubbing together as you began to bob your head.

His calloused hand got a handful of your breast, pinching and pulling at your nipple. You whimpered, sending vibrations down the length of him as he panted, thighs spreading. Gwayne murmured, hoarse, “Fuck, sweetheart, fuck, you’re going to make this end too fast. I’ll- oh god!” His hand wrenched into your hair as you circled your tongue around the tip of his cock, playfully flicking the salty pre oozing from the slit.

Gwayne tried again, snapping to get your eyes on him.

“I- I said I’ll make you see stars this week. Play with your pretty pussy until you cry, hm? W-want that? Do you want that baby? I’ll do it, I’ll fuck you good and hard, eat your cunt whenever fucking hell,” his sultry rasp peeled off into an anguished moan, throat bobbing as his cock pulsed and twitched.

He was growing close and you whimpered like a bitch in heat for it. Your fingers slid down to your aching clit as you suckled harder, rubbing in tandem, the soft whines and hums bringing Gwayne closer.

His blue eyes were shut tight as he babbled, “Close baby, so close, keep touching yourself for me, mmmfuck.”

Your amethyst eyes met his blue ones, debauched and messy— clumped lashes, mussed hair, your lips stretched tight. He blew with a long groan, gripping your hair again. You swallowed it down, gagging a little as he fucked into your throat in stuttering movements.

You pulled off, wiping your mouth, gasping for breath. Gwayne grabbed you with no qualms, grinning between his heavy breaths.

“Oh sweetheart, you didn’t come did you?”

[wehangout]

Another @shamelessdvdcommentary requested by the wonderful @suzy-queued with questions made by the amazing @callivich! This one is for Slick back My Hair (You know the Devil's in There)! These are a lot of fun, so hit me up if you want to see this for a different fic 😘

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Wrote it in 2015! It’s a long one-shot, and I think my second ever shameless big bang.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Okay. Took me a minute. I knew this was inspired by a one-shot I wrote for GW2015 that has since been taken down, but I also knew the one-shot was inspired by something and it took forever to go back and figure it out. Anyway, the initial one-shot was inspired by the Day 7 theme of “Imagine Your OTP – go to the website http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/ and choose a prompt!”. I don’t recall what the exact prompt was (I think digging a grave together), BUT apparently I still have the one-shot posted here on tumblr if you wanna read it! So, yeah, the Big Bang fic was inspired by this one-shot which was inspired by GW2015. Phew. That was a novel on its own

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because I am me.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I’m not sure, but reading back, I really like the scenes with side characters as assasins. Sheila, Jimmy, and Angela. Fun stuff.

How did you come up with the title?

Ugh. This was back when iTunes was a thing lmao. I basically went through all my music, picking out songs I thought might fit the fic’s plot, then went through the lyrics.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Two! I had fake IDs with the names John Foley and Axel McClane which is a reference to John McClane and Axel Foley – Die Hard and Beverly Hills Cop respectively. And I also had this line “Two inches to the right and it would’ve hit your fucking heart, Ian.” "Two inches to the left and it would have missed me completely” which was reference to The Mighty Ducks. Only one reader picked up on these lol.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The Terry fight scene. And, honestly, I just pushed through it.

Favourite line in the story?

Okay, the “My hero” continuation, but also, back in 2015, I wrote, word for word, “Knew you’d come.” I mean, it’s Ian saying it, but obvi why it’s a fave lmao

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I wouldn’t call them twists, but the little surprises that turn up along the way – Sheila being a badass, the texter being Mandy.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

At the end, where Mickey goes to save Ian. Ian’s “goodbye” is legit. Dude was sure they (at least he) was going to die.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

It’s very quick. I’d probably add more depth to it. (also the title shh)

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I’ve considered it, but one half of the dynamic duo gets taken in this one. What other plot could there be?

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I did the big Oh moment in this, along with a few others. I think that’s about it.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

This is definitely not my most popular, lol, but I appreciate the love it’s received!

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Oh, always excited

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

I did! Again, this was back in 2015 when my pal Ella @hubrisandwax was still around. We had similar time zones, so we’d Skype and write at night (poetry, bitch), and have our own little sprints. She was my cheerleader and beta!

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I know this is an Ian and Mickey romance, but I actually preferred the scenes after Ian was taken. Getting into Mickey’s head when he’ll do literally anything to get Ian back? Including torture and murder his own brother? That shit was fun.

[phosphoresccent]

new jaffa factory 2 episode (31) spoilers under the cut!

we back in the lore mines boys!!! i have membership so i'm watching the extended episode, if i mention something not in the main cut, oops!

already, the title and the description - sips is here and we have reaffirmed he's canonically also a spaceman. thank you so much im eating really well and the video hasn't even started yet

sips' headshot is amazing - is it nina drawing these? its it harry? either way they are amazing. he's landing in on another rocket, so they'll have a new one for their rocket collection. 30 seconds and sips is already dead. amazing. i love the yogscast.

xeph just legging it to be the first one to the ship, completely disregarding his own safety - its a lot, to me. he's so excited for aliens!!!

the rocket is distinctly different to the other two -> is that by virtue of it being a passenger ship? or is it just made by a different company?

"greetings employees!" is sips just being a little shit as usual, or does he actually own Honeydew inc? we know Honeydew sold the rights (but im still on team 'its yoglabs' and will be despite all evidence to the contrary)

"we don't work for you! we aint no sipsco employees!" xeph with the mild trauma from when he was, in fact, a sipsco employee and it sucked royally.

ok he is claiming to own the company. im still ignoring this because i really want it to be yoglabs. he says he bought it when it was worth nothing, so presumably Honeydew sold it around when it blew up due to the rocket crash?

xeph has pushed him off a building. honestly? fair enough. lalna pushed xeph off right after? also fair enough.

"i'm immortal - i've made clones of myself" HEY HANG ON CLONES MENTION???

oh my god the line from xeph "we are doomed to be here, continually, forever" thats. thats rough actually.

"i don't know if you guys have the same cloning tech as i do" hmmmmmmmmmmm. hmmmm. so, they are canonically cloned respawns in this series, so there is cloning tech around somewhere -> it might actually be yoglabs honestly.

blob fish!!!!! this isn't lore i just love him. HES ALREADY DEAD - SIPS STOP THE SEAGULL WAS INNOCENT

the instant heartbreak when sips says the ribbits have to go im - they love their little frog buddies!!!

xeph slipping into a business report monologue, like for a moment he was back running yoglabs talking to investors he hated

i know this isn't meant to be lore, but the jf2 boys having a haunted factory full of ghosts they can only see because of a cursed bell is really fun

i love "milk, from some animal, eggs from - some animal" xeph who is SO bad at cooking. do not let this man cook.

sips almost falling into the teleporter im - (also, the fact he doesn't know about it,,, look i know im ignoring what they are literally saying but i dont think he owns this place. at the very least it's upper management is a mystery to him)

"there was a man called the overseer and he exploded me :(" i could hear the :( face in that line duncan, thank you.

the achievements duncan got for going through the portal were "Farland Security" (the overseer's role in it's actual mod is a spawn near the world border i believe) and "M'aider Stranded Girl" the latter of which is a reference to this song -> i don't know which mod gave that achievement but the song really is a vibe for this series.

"I'm wrestling with the idea what we aren't who we think we are" oh gods. oh no. i know this is just in reference to who owns the company but ohhhh goodness.

[meloncolliemovies]

THE SUBSTANCE (2024)

Director: Coralie Fargeat

Demi Moore (Elisabeth Sparkle), Margaret Qualley (Sue)

"Take care of yourself."

4.5/5

REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

TW// BODY HORROR, GENDER DYSPHORIA, NEEDLES, PROFANITY

Ok- I know what you're all thinking. "This is a queer film blog, The Substance isn't queer!" and let me state this- nothing can sum up the feeling of gender dysphoria more than some good uncomfortable body horror.

The Substance is almost like what Poor Things wanted to be (I am uploading my Poor Things review oh so very soon). I came out of the cinema at exactly 5:30pm with a feeling in my body which can only be described as euphoric disgust. From start to finish, Fargeat set out to do something phenomenal, and that is what she did.

I think my best springboard for this review would be the sound. Fargeat opens this film with an egg, injected with brat green "substance" and I was immediately disgusted. We hear everything. The visceral sound of everything in this film, needles, heels, eyes, and of course a body being morphed into a horrific pile of skin and bones, accompanies a score from Raffertie like no other. The score is punchy, funky, and dark, and it's even got song names like "Blood, More Blood". I'm sure you could figure out the plot of this film from song titles alone. But my favourite part, the "2001, A Space Odyssey" needle drop. It reminds viewers of who Fargeat is- she's asserting a genre which Kubrick couldn't even begin to create, in my opinion. That needle drop sums it all up, this hope for filmmaking, this new invention which made me think "we are so fucking back".

The Kubrick references in this film got a cinephile like me excited for horror again. My favourite little reference was the classic hallway from "The Shining"- the mise-en-scene of the "Hall of Fame" which Elisabeth (Demi Moore) once walked down, and now Sue (Margaret Qualley), was very similar to the classic horror film, and it also represented the reminder of blood- I mean, what is a film without blood? This film was not short of it. It made me question my body as an afab person, how much blood really is in me? This film felt like my period. My body being destroyed and the insecurity which comes with it. I think that many a body dysmorphic person can relate to this feeling. Now, I'm not saying that Elisabeth is trans, but I am saying that Fargeat has captured an experience, maybe purely by accident, of the negative feelings that come with womanhood as someone who was born differently from it.

Which leads me on to talk about performance, Dennis Quaid as the disgusting, exaggerated male he is. "Girls look prettier when they smile", is unforgettable. The line delivered at the perfect point, as if it is a punchline to the whole film, and we watch as his "beautiful creation" becomes a monster worth shooting, one who smiles for nothing. On the topic of, "we are so fucking back", Demi Moore was perfect for her role because she is Elisabeth, an unfortunately fading star, and this role reminds viewers, that this is Demi Moore after all, and she can act. I love anything with Margaret Qualley in it, she's fucking fantastic.

My only criticism about this film is really quite silly, but I think it is slightly obvious. I was trying to find deeper and different meanings to it, because I wanted to think more, but it didn't require me to think more, which was enjoyable except when I found myself thinking about heroin, motherhood and all sorts of stuff which Fargeat probably didn't even think about during the creation of this film

Summing up this review, I think this film is everything it needs to be. It's here, it's new, it's satirical and completely unrealistic and it is down right disgusting. Fargeat is bringing back films in a big way, and I can't wait to see her next.

If you liked my review my letterboxd is @1nd1g0o, I review on there too.

[entamesubs]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush!! Episode 90 Sub Release

Torrent

Support us on ko-fi

Please make sure to read the FAQ if you have any questions.

There are translation notes below, so spoilers ahead.

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ドッチ・ジャーニー・ショウ！ Which Way the Book Turns!

This is a pun-laden name from Dudi again. It can be romanized literally as "Which Journey Shall/Shows!", but it is also a play on 書 (sho), which can sometimes be used to refer to a book - like the one Dudi is reading in the card art.

I just tried my best here; I'm sure there's a punnier name that makes me go "oh my god why didn't I think of that" once YGOrg puts their article out.

お前の中でこれがしの自我を保つのは難しそうだ "Your body is unable to sustain my ego."

Clarifying here that Kuaidul means this in the sense that if he merges with Yuudias, something disastrous will occur... to Yuudias. He is willingly undoing the fusion, or reversing it, so that it doesn't harm him.

He is "letting go" of Yuudias of his own volition.

種の寿命が尽きようとしている "Our species is approaching the limit of our lifespans."

More accurately, Kuaidul is trying to say "our species is going to exhaust our lifespan", as in "use up" or "run out", but I couldn't think of a way to word this that had the same finality as limit.

It is very much with a finality that Kuaidul says this. Interpret as you wish.

-------------------------------

Some other easter eggs

In order for Shewbahha's card to activate, Yuudias had to send Leviaknight (Phaser's card) to the grave - kinda like giving Shewbahha something to eat!

Nyandestar's Cat Claw Girl is the last obstacle that everyone must overcome, which is fitting considering she was the first ever card created by Kuaidul

Similarly, the last people to give Yuudias the ATK boost he needs are some of the first people he ever met upon arriving on Earth... Yuamu and Yuuhi!

Dudi Nishaw, though he's part of the Dudi Ducasse, is in fact a Velgearian... due to how he's supposed to be one of the three "factions" fighting in the Velgear Star Cluster. You can sort of think of the term "Velgearian" as both a species identifier and a nationality. Dudi is a "Velgearian" species-wise, but he is Dudi Ducasse in terms of nationality. Hope that makes sense!

The "Andromeda-Milky Way collision" is a real thing that is projected to happen... in the next 4.5 billion years. According to Wikipedia, it's actually not going to cause much damage to either galaxy or the stars within it at all, due to how far apart each individual star is. In fact, by the time this happens, all life on Earth would've been wiped out about 3 billion years ago anyway due to the Sun's growing instability

In Mahayana Buddhism, which Japanese Buddhism is derived from, a "bodhisattva" is someone with "a spontaneous wish and compassionate mind to attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all" - does it sound familiar? It's Yuudias offering his body to Kuaidul even despite all of the wrongs he has committed.

I guess we now know why the ED is titled "Song of Departure"

-------------------------------

Announcements

Go Rush will be taking a break on New Years weekend and will not air an episode then! The next episode will be on January 7th.

As well, the entameSubs team will be on vacation for the next two weeks. I will be in Japan! That means episode 91 will be massively delayed until I get back.

There will be a dedicated announcement post of the vacation in a day or two, just so people are aware.

-------------------------------

And that's a wrap!

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am for Go Rush season 3, now that we know that's a thing that's happening! It has always been something I wanted because I adore this show to bits... but I was so convinced we would be moving onto the next series already.

But here we are! The voice actor of Yuudias, Arthur, said that this third year was only possible "with [the fan's] support" - so it's wonderful and heartwarming to know Go Rush is very well received.

Merry Christmas, if you celebrate! Happy Holidays otherwise!

This is one of my favorite episodes of all of Yu-Gi-Oh! as a whole. I have not cried at a finale or even any episode like this since ZEXAL aired Nasch vs Yuuma ten years ago.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite games that applies word-for-word to this episode. Just replace "Ardbert" with "Yuudias".

Yuudias chose love, and Kuaidul was undone.

Happy New Year.

[babypinkromantics]

It Always Leads To You In My Hometown .𖥔 ݁ ˖

Ship: Halle Bailey / Jonah Hauer-King

Summary: Halle anxiously waits when the day Jonah arrives back home in London from being away shooting his new film, she misses him terribly and reminisces on her memories with him during their last fall/winter break together in hopes this time around will be just as magical when he’s finally hers again..

Warning’s: unprotected sex, teasing, choking, pet names sort of, dirty talk a bit, blow jobs, P in V action, explicit language, lots of fluff, romance, longing & yearning, Taylor Swift references and lyrics, autumn and christmas activities

Word count: 5k

A/N: In this universe, I was thinking this took place about eight months to a year after they first start officially dating. So although they’ve moved in together, Halle is still getting used to the new environment around her, and also what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who’s job is to be away for months at a time. It’s still very new to her — and missing Jonah is all that runs through her mind the whole summer she’s been in his hometown without him.

Just like the title, this work is based off of Tis’ the damn season off of Evermore by Taylor swift. So there’s lots of references and easter eggs to the song through the fic for all my fellow swiftie’s or anyone who notices :)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖✧˖° ⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡

It was one of those bright but foggy days, where the sun had been shining down on the mucky streets of London after a half an hour shower of rain.

Halle hoped for a rainbow, or anything really to appear within the large gaping fogged up window of her the fitting room. Just one multicolored stripe to take her mind off of the next pin stuck she was anticipating, or an even bigger nudge at her nerves when she’d see her phone light up with a text from her ever traveling prince.

Even though it’s been a little over a week since Halle knew Jonah would be thousands of miles away filming, and returning back home to London — to her, she still had been awaiting the moment time and time again. She couldn’t tell if she was nervous or excited, but she knew the slight nausea deep down, the aching put there had to of meant something. And she knew from the outside it could of seemed a bit looney to be so highly strung about her lover making his way back home. But she also knew no one could understand.

The way it’s been almost three months since she last held him in her embrace, ran her fingertips through his waves, and kissed him like there were no other humans on earth.

They just wouldn’t get the immense feelings of warmth in her heart when she got to have him in a way not one other soul could relate to. It was a sacred feeling. It was her feeling. Just the remembrance of the sensation had Halle hardly able to focus on her dress fitting at hand. All she could see in her mind was getting loose of the hands measuring and adjusting her body — and running into the arms of the man who she called home.

“Halle ?”

A voice flushed over her, and nearly frightened Halle right out of her daydreams. She jumped and caught a breathe as she turned to her smiling, yet confused, assistant holding a tablet in front of her.

“Yes?” Halle spoke with a lose note to let her heart race simmer down.

“We wanted to know your input on if the dress for the gala should be hanker shift or pleated ?” Her assistant asked.

She gazed at Halle in a long pause before the overwhelmed girl batted her eyelashes in tension and looked up from the ground to give her answer with at least indecision as possible.

“I’m leaning towards hanker shift, I want to be comfortable for the evening. And I don’t want to worrying about the spills at brunch — I know those pleats can be impossible to clean.”

“Noted.” her assistant stylist dotted her i’s on her tablet and turned away. Scurrying back to work and leaving Halle to dote towards the window once again, as her fingertips lead up to her necklace. Pearly and encrusted with chipped shells that were laced with the smell of summer and salt air. She held it. Getting lost in her thoughts and imagery once more.

-⟢

When Halle had finally finished up at her fitting and got back to the flat, she opened the front door and took a deep sigh along with a glance around the place.

She thought if she should clean ? But it was really always clean. The only time the space wouldn’t be tidy was when she and Jonah would be carelessly doing their afternoon activities. Like when they had paint Saturday’s and they would fill their home up with splashes of almost every color on the walls. Or when the season changed they would make new canvases.

Halle’s heart filled with warmth for the memories of getting to express her artistic side with Jonah. The way he taught her so much about how different the art culture was to the English was so fascinating. She could listen to him talk about it forever — she loved how he was so knowledgeable on almost everything. It meant the most to have her craving for deep and meaningful conversation to be filled with her time with him.

She decided everything was perfect as is and would go to feed Poseidon instead.

“There you go baby,” she spoke gently to Poseidon with a smile as she set down his bowl and gave him a sweet stroke on his fur. She took the milk and honey out of the fridge and set it on the counter. It was Jonah’s favorite after a long day of traveling this time of year, and Halle would always sit on his lap and enjoy a cup with him.

They would stay at the house Jonah’s parents owned in north London where it always snowed the most, the fire would be on, and even with the heat breaking through the crisp air, nothing made her warmer than being interwoven with the man she loved right there in the flesh. To know he wasn’t leaving and she had him all season long. Curled up and snuggled on the couch, Jonah would tell her to let him keep her there forever. Even if she wanted him to let go so she could use the bathroom for a quick second, he was always going to refuse — and she would laugh.. and when she looked, he was laughing too. With eyes smiling right at her in admiration and pure love. Halle waited all summer long for this time around just for moments like that again.

Blinking quickly Halle had realized she was intensely watching Poseidon devour his food while she lost her own conscious mind to let her heart yearn. Forcing herself off of the kitchen counter she entered the bedroom and turned on the head of the shower faucet and let the water run for some time so it would heat up to the temperature of her liking.

Halle made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t look at her phone unless it was a text from Jonah letting her know he was on his way home. She knows Jonah is a busy man and that shooting her a text could slip his mind, something she completely understood. But she much rather not look than drive herself mad with missing him. So she stripped down and carried on to washing up —

Grabbing her towel and wrapping up in it before turning off the water, Halle stepped out of the shower and got dry quickly, taking a deep sigh sitting on the bed, with nothing but the white cloth and wet hair.

She stared at her feet for a while. Wiggling her toes. And even her finger nails, she tried hard not to pick at them. Laying back and staring at the ceiling, getting washed away by her thoughts. It was about fifteen minutes prior to Halle finally drifting off to sleep. Cold from the after math of her steamy shower, but letting it be to make the warmth she would feel in Jonah’s arms later on, even more heavenly to the touch.

What felt like decades to Halle, was no more than thirty long minutes when she finally heard the clicking of the door down the hall being unlocked and the sound of shoes on the hardwood floor.

The sleep hazed girl nearly jumped up out of her slumber and hurried to the bedroom door where she walked out and stopped when she saw Jonah standing by the front door petting Poseidon with a huge smile on his face, he looked up at her and grinned when he saw the girl who put the sunshine in his day staring back at him.

Halle started walking over to him, but the closer she got the more exited the skip in her step was.

“Halle,” the dark haired man smiled as he stared at her face “Halle..” there was a dip in his voice and his eyebrows furrowed when he looked down at her attire to see the girl wrapped up in nothing but a short towel.

And when she finally embraced him, her arms slid up his back and her cheek hit his chest ever so gently but with all the force at the same time, nearly making him lose his balance. Jonah let out a chuckle and placed his lips on the top of her head while holding her small frame to him. Halle said nothing for a minute as she settled into the feeling of his large hands gliding across her back and hugging her like there was no tomorrow. She couldn’t get enough of it. She didn’t want enough of it.

Jonah already knew he wouldn’t get a moment of freedom once he stepped foot through the door and Halle got to him. But he missed her so much he didn’t care to mind it at all.

“I missed you,” Halle finally spoke and she twisted her head to look up at him. “Why didn’t you text me ?”

“I wanted to surprise you ! ” He looked down at her happily. “And this is definitely… a surprise.” Jonah had to laugh at the fact Halle didn’t even bother to slip on proper clothes before coming out here to meet him.

“I showered then I fell asleep,” she blushed at the way he stared down at her and her towel just meeting the start of her thighs.

“I’m sure you did.” he thought it was more likely this was one of Halle’s stunts to throw him off track of just getting home and attending to anything that wasn’t her. And Halle couldn’t bear look him in the eyes like this.

The feeling of his crystal blues staring down at her especially when she hadn’t really had clothing on — would never be something she’d get used to. She’d get way too shy and melt right there. So her eyes drifted to just beneath where one of his curls fell over his face. A faint but new scar had been revealed as Halle brushed her thumb over the area.

“What’s this ? Does it hurt ? ” She asked gently.

“Stunts on set aren’t technically safe. But it’s nothing really.” He told her and continued to stare down at her as she examined the reddened scar.

She tugged on his shoulders so he’d come to her eye level and he did. Halle kissed the top of his forehead where the scar had been and she smiled.

Jonah couldn’t help the sensation of excitement and butterflies Halle gave him, she was all he could think about while he was away.. he even wondered if Halle drove herself as insane as he did while they had been apart last summer.

He always tells himself he can manage the falling asleep together over Face-Time and trying to update one another on what they each had for lunch, but nothing could ever compare to holding her right here in his arms. Looking into her honey like eyes and breathing the same sweet air she breathed. He would go to sleep at night dreaming of when he’d have her again and he almost couldn’t believe she was real and with him in this moment right now.

Not being able to take another minute without her lips on his — Jonah scooped her up off the ground and Halle squealed in delight as she wrapped her body around the man tightly.

They were so close. The closest they’ve been in three whole months. Finally content in each others embrace and smiling like idiots, Jonah brushed his nose against Halle’s as he held her, a soft soothing smile on his lips and Halle took what she wanted by kissing them.

It started off slow, and they gradually melted into each other, being able to take it a step farther and reach the perfect angle being level to one another. Halle deepened the kiss and her fingers started to get lost in his curls as more time passed and they started to smooch with hunger by the second.

Soon, Halle's hands had called to cup Jonah’s face and she could feel the touch of his beard scratch against her palms, he hesitated no more to start leading them both to the bedroom and Halle wanted to pull away to speak again, but she just couldn’t stop herself from pulling Jonah’s bottom lip into her own for more. To kiss him forevermore.

And he let her.

Eventually she pulled her face from his, lips almost going crimson. “Don’t you wanna unpack ?” She had spoken nearly out of breath.

“The only thing I want to unpack now is what’s underneath that towel,”

Normally Halle would of blushed or giggled like a school girl if her skin wasn’t so lit and fiery from the way they just made out in perfect unison. It was safe to say how lucky she got knowing her boyfriend knew how to really kiss a girl.

Jonah had gently let Halle fall to the bed in front of them, and she bit her lip slightly as she backed up comfortably, not breaking eye contact with the gorgeous built man above her once. He followed her only shortly after, hovering just above Halle's placed body and reaching to remove the towel from her before she stopped him.

“No.” She shook her head just a bit, a more mischievous smirk running across her lips as she now looked at the more confused Jonah staring at her from only inches away. Halle looked down ever so slightly and Jonah followed her eye-line to where her delicate hands had been innocently inching towards the belt buckle of his denim’s, Halle had unlatched it. He hurried to lean up — giving her more room to finish what she had started and Halle did exactly that, following him, she let her thumb flick open the button. She unzipped his pants, leading up to her taking his length out into her hands and glancing up at him once more as she did so.

Jonah could only hope Halle couldn’t hear the way his heart was pounding in his chest, but little did he know hers was probably going ten times harder. She slowly and carefully moved her hand up his shaft.

“Mmm, I missed you” Halle spoke softly and Jonah let a heavy breath out from his lungs as he watched her hands work on him in the most silky way. Like her hands had never been there, but were all over him once. An angel that only he could see like this. And her words were like prayers to him. All coming true at last.

Halle had let her tongue run against against the tip of his dick for a moment and she loved the way his addams apple bobbed as he watched her movements. Eye contact being tested when he noticed her lips sink around him, and Jonah tired with every molecule of his might not to let his eyes flutter shut. He couldn’t miss a single moment of this.

All Halle wanted to do was give him everything he wanted, it was all that mattered to her. To make him feel at home after all this time. She stared up at him with the most wide eyes as she took him into the back of her mouth, her hand still going at the same time.

“Halle, baby…” Jonah huffed out quietly as he reached for her hair, Halle had wished so badly he’d just pull it, but she knew Jonah was always going to be gentle with her no matter what. He thought her lips were just so…. Perfect. He wanted nothing more than to move his hips, and she let out a whimper from somewhere in the back of her throat as he nearly did. Sucking slowly with the only push of her going faster to take more of him into her mouth.

The sight of his lips parting so gently to let out a soft moan just set Halle off. She thought every inch of him tasted just like heaven, she felt like she could do this to him all day if he wanted, and she really would.

Jonah then suddenly pulled out of her mouth in a hurry and he held himself with his panting chest going up and down. “Halle” he caught his breath.

She could only grin softly as she watched the state he was in and she wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her palm.

“I-I still want to.. be inside of you” he told her with a soft smile and airy pant as his heart got back to beating at a normal rate.

Halle has gotten closer to him once again and placed her hand on his hip as he stood to take off his shirt, the feeling of him being absent already haunting her. Jonah took off his pants fully and soon enough he was coming back to her with a sly smile across his lips. Giving her a peck on the lips, she fell back on the bed again and this time submitted herself to him effortlessly. He had pulled at the top of her towel and let it fall, revealing in his opinion, the body of the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid his eyes on.

He wanted to lay his touch on her skin so quickly and just worship the body she had surrendered to him. And with a small lick of his lips and a quick glance up at her face, he had to restrain himself to admire every inch of her glowing brown skin in the evening light of the sunsetting just beyond the cold window glass.

Halle didn’t think she had ever been so love stricken by anyone, and definitely not now when all she could think about was the way Jonah’s teal blue’s made sure to cover every inch of her. Never really having anyone look at her this way before made her heart ache — but in the most glorious of ways. And as intimidating as it could seem, she couldn’t have felt any safer with him. Like this. Vulnerable and in his embrace finally.

Closing her eyes just before he had left a kiss to her neck, and once more till he was leaving a trail down her collarbone and his hands slid up her rib cage to cup her breast in his butter like hands. When she let out a quite but divine moan she couldn’t stop reminding herself that if he wasn’t hers she’d just be so envious of anyone else who got to feel his kind of love not only physically, but emotionally too.

“So, how do you want this ?” Jonah had came up to push some of her hair from her eyes and Halle looked up at him with lustful eyes and a smile that only spoke of adventure.

“Surprised me.” She said with a bubbly note, and Jonah held her with complete stillness like she was the most fragile and priceless gem in the world.

“You really don’t get enough of those do you ?” He chuckled. And Halle rolled her eyes playfully.

“Just shut up and fuck me already,”

Jonah couldn’t deny the fact he loved Halle’s vulgar side that would come out when she was really wanting him. He missed the carefreeness of her attitude in times like these and it only made him more excited to pull her over the edge with him.

He lined himself up with her entrance as best as he could. Halle had reached for his arms, and before she knew it her nails had already been semi digging into his skin when he pushed into her slowly.

Halle’s jaw had fallen as she let out an obvious moan, and her lips had trembled a bit. It had been a serious while since she had the sensation of practically being split in half by him. And it was no easy feeling to get used to. She held onto him tighter and Jonah’s head had fallen to the crock of her neck with an airy whimper as he slid through her with ease the farther he got.

“You got this wet just from sucking my cock didn’t you ?” Jonah grinned as he whispered in Halle’s ear — getting a rush of immediate pleasure when he felt her tighten around him when his words passed through her, and she buried her face in his shoulder only to make muffled noises when he had sunk into her fully, then repeated it again, sending her head flying back against the pillow. Jonah had thrusted into her slowly only until her core had gotten so used to him by now he could eventually go faster.

Halle had whined out as Jonah kissed her lips and went to wrap his arms around her fully, to where there had been no space between them and he could feel her heart rate speed up against his.

“Oh my god.. yes-” Halle could feel sweat beginning to form on her skin as Jonah picked up the pace in just the right spot and they moved in perfect unison.

Halle fought not to close her eyes — she loved the way she could feel every vein of him against her walls as he pounded into her. Jonah let out a deep groan while Halle’s hair had gone wild the more he fucked her with less and less restriction, letting all his pent up passion from every time the teasing girl would send him kisses through the phone or pictures in the shower. It was so much he couldn’t help himself. Halle had gasped when Jonah leaned up to glide his hands around her neck, firmly but all with tenderness as he thrusted into her harder and she pulsed every inch with spreading herself for him more.

“Jonah..” Halle sobbed out as her hands and legs began to shake and she had bitten her lip tightly in pleasure, her head starting to spin with every time her body and core would fall weaker each time Jonah would pull completely out of her and thrust back in harder.

“Hey, look at me. Keep looking at me Halle,” he breathed out quickly, grabbing the girl’s attention back on her lover and she did exactly that. She looked up at him even with her heart pounding out of her chest. And her toes curling like crazy, Jonah still brought a thumb to her cheek to stroke gently as he worked her through it, he didn’t break eye contact with her once as he started to fuck her more roughly into the bedding beneath them. Tears started forming in Halle’s eyes while she moaned uncontrollably and wrapped her hands around his wrist on her collarbone.

The heedless sounds being formed between them only bounced off the walls and echoed back to her ears. It was intense, and Halle would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit to quite liking the idea of being so exhibited for him, she thought he was beautiful on top of her and that’d never change. Jonah had leaned his forehead against hers combining their sweat as he groaned along with a swear under his breath.

“I’m gonna- I think I’m gonna.. fuck ! ” Halle cried out. “Hold me.”

“Let it out sweet girl, I’m right here.” Jonah had reminded her gently and that’s when he felt Halle’s body shake uncontrollably underneath him, whimpering as she came on his dick. And he couldn’t help but to let himself watch in awe as she did so.

“Yeah, just like that… shit..” his movements had only gotten sloppy as he started to spill inside of her — Halle shut her eyes and dug her nails straight into his back at the feeling of him filling her up to the point she couldn’t stand it. Her body froze and fell into complete Arcadia, and she couldn’t move as she took any and everything.

Halle felt her last tear roll down her cheek and she began to feel funny, but in a blissful way. Like the stars in her eyes were the way of showing up after a blessing had been done and gifted.

She never loosened her grip on Jonah at all. His chest heaved as he leaned up on his knees and brought Halle with him. At this point she had been sensitive to every slight movement, and the feeling of Jonah shifting the both of them only made her cling to him tighter as he was still attached to her tender core.

He kissed her cheek softly and rubbed her back as he breathed out into the side of her neck. His heart slowing back to normal, as well as hers while they both came down from their high.

“I love you” Halle said quietly. Hearing those words leave her lips in her sweet little voice made Jonah’s insides flutter all over again. It’s all he’s been waiting to hear in person for weeks and he couldn’t be happier he got to love Halle into mangled bits like this. To be the only reason she would happy cry. And to feel her release on him like nectar from the sweetest honeycomb. Jonah would give Halle the world and entire galaxy if she wanted and he hoped she knew that deep down like she knew faith in her heart. He rose to meet her eye line again.

“I love you, Angel. Thank you for everything.” He gave the girl a loving smile as she cupped his face, a smile delicate and happily widening on her face as well. She kissed his lips and softly led him back to the pillows with her again. This time under the covers to fit snug in each other’s arms — where they held quite conversation until they both drifted off to sleep.

-⟢

The next day Halle had rose from what she would have said was the best slumber she’s gotten in months. And she could certainly blame it on the sex from the night before, but overall — feeling safe, and protected all night long with Jonah’s arms cradling her cozily throughout the night.

She rubbed her eyes with the hand that had been gently placed on his chest, looking up to see dark curls and the familiar sight of her beautiful man sleeping soundly. She smiled fondly as her tired eyes examined the room in the new daylight. Halle could spend a lifetime with him here. Just like this.

And the certification that she would have mornings like these guaranteed all season long, was exactly what she had been dreaming of since the beginning of last summer.

The girl leaned up gently to check her phone. As soon as the screen lit up Halle read the time had already been 2pm, her eyes went wide for a quick second. The fact that they had already slept in half a day making her chuckle to herself softly. Usually, it was almost always Jonah waking up at the crack of dawn, and Halle had no clue how’d he have so much energy that early in the morning — she envied him for it. It was a little bit unbelievable he had stayed asleep with her for so long, but she could understand the jet lag and obvious tiresome muscles from what a night they had.

The feeling of Halle’s sudden absence had started to wake Jonah up slowly as he reached out to feel her forearm gently. He groaned,

“Where’d my girlfriend sized pillow go ?”

“It’s two in the afternoon sleepy head.” Halle turned to look at him and he had sat up quickly to face her.

“Jesus,” he had blinked up at her in confusion “I don’t think I’ve ever slept in this late since… well, ever.”

“Oh, I know.” Halle laughed softly and hugged her knees to her chest against the cushions. “But there’s a first time for everything I suppose.”

Jonah had focused on Halle and realized she had been wearing his blouse from the night before. He raised his eyebrow. “Remind me when you slipped yourself into my shirt last night you little thief ?…”

“I have my ways.” She shrugged and zipped her lips.

“It’s swallowing you.” He laughed.

“I sleep in your clothes every night when you’re away !” She had crawled to him with giggles leaving her lips and she sat in front of the amused man who chuckled at her enthusiasm. “What else would I wear when I have to touch myself to the thought of you ?”

Halle grinned and Jonah tried to keep his cool by messing with her.

“Creepy and a minx. Got it.” He told her slyly and Halle gasped.

“You stalked me for like three years-“ Jonah cut her off by yelling “Tickle time !” As he pulled her into his lap. And Halle let out a high pitched squeal along with a trail of giggles and laughter shouting “stop it !” In between her squirming. And Jonah laughed as he ran his fingers all over her, too pleased with himself and how easy it is to get Halle to stop talking and giggle.

Halle knew for a fact she hadn’t been this giddy in months, with the daunting day to day responsibilities, and her boyfriend who brought the warmth in the cold of autumn to her doorstep, being thousands of miles away. But now that he was here, with her, making her heart shine bright and giving her every reason to smile — She just wanted to ride around with him like they would do last time around. Look at the Christmas lights decorated on house by house throughout the neighborhoods. Or the beautifully lit stores and seasonal stops that would go all out for the holiday’s.

He made everything so fun here — like a second home town to her. She had felt at home in his home. And the possibilities were endless now that Jonah was hers at last. He loves her and she loves him.

And just that was enough to convince her she’d never leave the warmest soul she’d ever known.

[trash-bats]

I don't often share messy art WIP's, but this is a bit of an ambitious piece I'm nervous about & could maybe use some input from my DF followers over here.

A couple weeks ago, I started what was supposed to be a simple "Trash Bat" illustration of Davey. Instead of just putting some generic trash can or dumpster in the scene, I got the idea to cover a landfill in a bunch of easter eggs. This ranges from old & new merch, references to music videos, old gig posters and ticket stubs, and more obscure things like a page of "Unearthed: The Unused Lyrics of Davey Havok" from the Under the Rose magazines & Jade's iPod (RIP) with titles of unreleased songs on the screen.

The idea is like...yeah, this stuff will one day end up in a landfill, and maybe some of it is things the band don't relate to anymore or don't see the value in. But from the perspective of a fan lovingly filling this scene with these totems, this pile of "garbage" is more like a shrine. Many of us fans will still see the value in everything they've done, even the things they toss aside or that won't see the light of day. He's our Trash Bat, and his trash is our treasure.

I know it looks like a literal damn mess right now -- I'm going to go in with lineart and mess with the contrast more to make certain things pop and make things as detailed as I reasonably can. I originally intended the piece to be b&w, but I'm considering adding some color to help certain things in the pile be more recognizable. I'm also gonna swap out the Death of the Party shirt for the more general AFI skull shirt Davey has also worn during recent performances & do a bit more work with lighting/shadow.

I'm a very nervous artist who has often intimidated myself out of working on ambitious pieces, but this is a piece that has suddenly become important for me to get right. Words alone cannot capture how much this band means to me & for years I've wanted to do that passion justice through art, but feel like I haven't yet accomplished that. Last year was the first time I shared AFI fan art that I tagged Davey in on Insta, and getting a like from him - multiple times! - was pretty mind-blowing for me. I'm grateful for the support I received on those Havok Doll pieces, but I'm not particularly proud of them. While it was a fun concept for me, I feel like the doll idea was more successfully explored by people who can make actual real custom dolls, like Dolly Havok on Insta. I might still go back to it because I really did want to immortalize more of Davey's range of fashion over the years, but there's also so many other things I want to explore in art & with my love for AFI & related projects.

ANYWAYS, if you see this and have any recommendations for anything else that could be lovingly added to the trash pile or some constructive crit, please let me know! I want this piece to be a real love letter to the band's history, and I'm trying to represent as many eras as I can. I'm going to try taking my time with finishing this & bounce between this and other projects to try to avoid burnout (which I am QUITE prone to), but I'm excited to hopefully see this idea through & I hope others enjoy it.

[foxes-that-run]

Lover

A 2019 album about true love was planned since 2012.

Lover and the song Daylight were first hinted in the Red era and intended as a retrospective around Taylor’s 30th Birthday. By the time it came, Taylor was in a relationship with a deeply private person and explored more metaphorical, less diaristic storytelling which flourished in Folklore.

It shouldn't surprise that a Mastermind would have her album concepts planned several in advance. Lover was, in her mind, maybe her last popstar hurrah, ending on 'and she lived happily ever after.'

Taylor performed a live recording called 'City of Lover' which she released on 19 May 2020, the day before her anniversary with Harry Styles.

Joe and Taylor were very private, in Taylor's Lovers Lounge she said the album was always a retrospective rather than a diary (14 mins), it was never "Lover is about Joe". Though I do think the relationship is leaned into/idealised in some songs, it was also lucky timing for them. Folklore, Evermore & Midnights explore that relationship more outside of the Lover album concept.

As the body of her work grew and she prioritized sonically cohesive albums, her work after 1989 is not 'all about X', New Years Day is a clear example of a song from an earlier era.

Harry Styles certainly knew about lover, the theme, year it would come out and possibly the song Daylight years before he wrote Golden and Daylight released on Taylors 30th Birthday.

Red Liner Notes

In 2012, at the wistful age of 22 Taylor included a easter egg for the album and the song Daylight in the Red Liner notes:

“And there’s something to be proud of about moving on and realising that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it but this album is about the other kinds of love that I’ve recently fallen in and out of."

Daylight

In the Lover's Lounge (3 mins) Taylor references the release timing the 13th year of her career, age 30 - certainly something the old Taylor would have a plan for. At 14 minutes she says that the album was once called Daylight and talks about the idea evolving to be broader, presumably after 7 years of maturing!

In the 13th year of my career I really wanted to do something exciting and retrospective and nostalgic. [...] I basically like to plan an album like I'm planning some type of prom or something. [...] But with this album I thought it was going to be called Daylight. And then I wrote "Lover" and I was like, "That's the title!" It's a really romantic album, but it's also an album that celebrates love in all of its complexity, not just flowers and sunshine. It's really an exploration of like, the patchwork quilt of emotions that go into any sort of love that you feel.

Turning 30 is a big deal to a popstar

Taylor shared her 30 before 30 interview and Miss Americana, (1:20) where she mused Lover could be her second last era, she says:

"We do exist in a society where women in entertainment are discarded in an elephant graveyard by the time they are 35. [...] This is probably one of my last opportunities as an artist to grasp onto that kind of success. So, I don’t know, as I’m reaching 30, I’m like, I want to work really hard while society is still tolerating me being successful."

Writing the Man is also featured in Miss Americana, to me this song is over the gendered injustice talked about there.

Her 7th Album has lots of 20's

In Harry's 2014 song I love you, performed by Alex and Sierra he wrote:

While we lay there on the soft warm ground / For a week and 13 days

Thereafter, Taylor and Harry have referred to 20 (13+7) Lover is her 7th album and continued this 20 theme:

Lover: Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

It’s Nice To Have A Friend: Twenty questions, we tell the truth

Daylight: I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night but now I see daylight

Haylor songs on other albums also include 20's:

Out Of The Woods: Remember when you hit the brakes too soon? Twenty stitches in the hospital room

The 1: Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

Cardigan: Your heartbeat on the High Line, once in twenty lifetimes

Songs

Daylight

Me!

Lover

It's nice to have a friend

Cruel summer

Death by a thousand cuts

[uncleasad]

A friend recently asked, among others, “how does one get good at naming a fic?”

I don’t have any good answers, because naming is hard. Really. (There’s a famous maxim in computer science that naming is one of the two hardest problems in that field.) Hopefully, maybe, like all other things writing-related, one gets better at it through practice, though I still struggle with it sometimes (there are some real head-scratchers among my fic titles).

That, unfortunately, is a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem when you’re starting out. (I have no-so-fond memories of this. Not that I have a huge number of great names or fics to my name now, but you get the picture.) So maybe throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks? 😂

Seriously, though, naming is hard. It is often the last thing I do with a fic. It’s very rare that I have a good name for a fic before I start writing or even soon after. (There’s a reason I tag most fics here with a semi-descriptive phrase, like Roman Republic Hosie.)

Exceptions include my first fic, Have At Least One Totally Epic Love, which gets its name from a famous Hayley Marshall quote from The Originals S5 which in part inspired the fic, and, among others, my most recent, The One with Hope’s Wedding, which is a twist on the name of the Friends episode that inspired it? See a pattern here?

(There’s also a kinda anti-example, Two Scoops of Hosie Delight, where I had the title to start and tried to write a fic around it; it’s not a great fic.)

Sometimes an idea will come to me when I’m writing. In that case, it’s usually because I’ve made someone say something I really like. This is also my go-to option when I get to the end of writing and/or editing and still have no title: I look for a fun line or sentence. Even better if it captures something unique or descriptive about the fic. (As an aside, all of the Legacies episode titles are lines someone spoke in that episode.)

The other major area I try to mine for name ideas are things related to the fic’s content in a broader sense: the theme or subject, the mood, or something related to the description. I don’t have a good example off-hand from my own work, but let me dissect (from a reader’s POV) a title I really like from a fellow author, pins, needles & hexes by vitrisimbre.

This fic is a Hosie Hogwarts AU, and one of the things I really like about it is the dual meaning of “pins [and] needles.” On the one hand, “pins” and “needles” go well with “hexes” in a magical sense, e.g. poking dolls with pins as representational magic, while on the other hand, the phrase “on pins and needles” is a way of describing excitement, anticipation, and even sometimes trepidation. In this fic, the Saltzman twins are yanked from the Muggle world and thrown into the world of magic at Hogwarts, so Josie is experiencing a bunch of those emotions from that, and then again from a burgeoning attraction. There’s also a third meaning of “pins and needles” in English, which is that tingling of numbness in a limb when it goes to sleep—but I have no idea if that is relevant to this fic yet. (It’s a great fic, so you should read it!)

If you have a series, you can have a pattern or theme that carries through all of those titles. My Tales from the Salvatore Kitchen series features titles that are either—and often both—bad puns and food/dessert related, for example. The “model Josie/painter Hope” trilogy started with Hope painting a landscape, and that theme carried through with the titles: Landscape of Your Skin, Landscape of Your Heart, and the unfinished Landscape of Your Secrets. (The actual series name there, however, is the very uninspired, though descriptive, The Model and the Painter.)

tl;dr

Some good sources of ideas for fic titles, in my experience:

Quotes from the real world or other media, and riffs on them

Titles from the real world or other media (including song titles!), and riffs on them

Favorite and/or fun lines from the fic itself

Riffs on descriptions/subjects/themes/moods of the fic

Fellow writers, any other advice on naming fics, and how to “get better” at it so that you feel like you like your fic titles?

[tryskomys]

Wet Sand

Stone Gossard x OC

Chapter 13 - Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters

Summary: too late.

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

notes: warning: an extra hefty batch has been cooked in the copium lab and these two are passing that shit back and forth like a big juicy spliff.

uh. so. this is a big one. i feel like i’m force-feeding you, it’s fucking 9,1k words. and yes, yes, i know - working title is ‘tryskomys’s wonderous trope extravaganza’. i hope you’ll enjoy this as the reader meta-beings you are. you’re all invited for a game of where’s waldo (waldo = a trope) - let’s see how many you can get! gotta catch ‘em all, man. gotta catch them all.

jokes aside, this chapter is really a labour of love and some of the lines in this were the first ones i’ve written for this story. so i hope you’ll enjoy <3

tws: uh, how do i word this without spoilers…bloody injuries - squeamish folk be careful. fighting, fists. allusions to the ol’ es eggs. nothing explicit - not how we roll here. but come on, you can imagine what’s happening. bad deals (seriously, don’t do this). i’m chronically european so i may have delusional ideas about how travelling through the states works - google maps are my only friend, please don’t laugh at me xx

if you read all of that, here’s a warm forehead kiss <3

songs:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

April 4th, 1989

“Green light, Keeks! You’re going on a little tour, starting April. First stop - New York.”

“Holy shit!”

At the beginning of March, Keeva was stopping by the office of Love Bone’s manager Kelly to pick up some printed promo posters for their first EP - he immediately pulled her aside to give her the exhilarating news.

“Polygram will get you a van, it’s a little run-down but it will do,” Kelly said, tapping on a bunch of papers on his desk that had all the details on them. He handed one to her - it listed the properties of their van. Keeva didn’t understand the first shit about cars, though.

“We’d travel on a bloody wheelbarrow if it meant we could go on the road,” she chuckled and flipped the paper to check the tour dates. “God, I can’t believe it! Ahh!”

“Booked you the hotels already, the label will pay for everything,” he explained and took a drag from his cigarette with a genuinely excited grin. “Check this out - they’ll supply three rooms at every hotel -”

“Oh, shit,” she interrupted, mouth agape. “They’ve got money money.”

“Yup. Tell the guys to split into pairs,” Kelly finished the sentence and paused, clearly carefully choosing his next words. She’d noticed.

“Hm. What’s the catch?” she asked and leaned on his desk as he handed her his cigarette so she could hit it. He sucked his teeth.

“Fuck, nothing gets past you, does it?” he scoffed and took the cig back after she took a puff, a curious squint on her face. “Uh, well - they will give us three rooms because there are no other rooms. And except for Philly, San Francisco and Portland, even these rooms each have just one double bed.”

Keeva had to hold back a cackle.

Of course you were gonna hit me with that.

“Ah. You know, somehow I knew you were going to say that and I was hoping you wouldn’t,” she nodded with a tight-lipped smile and then let out a huge sigh. “But you never disappoint me, Kelly, that’s what I love about you.”

He was obviously pleading with his eyes to make Keeva spread the message to the band herself. She put a hand on Kelly’s shoulder with a mockingly consoling expression.

“I’ll make sure to tell the guys very delicately for you, no worries. I’m sure they’ll be happy to cuddle after a few nights away from home.”

Kelly visibly relaxed with a sigh and slumped his shoulders.

“You’re my shining star, babycakes,” he said and walked around the table. He took Keeva’s face in his palms, shaking her head from side to side. Sometimes he did that - squished her cheeks and turned on his lisping baby voice. “Light at the end of the tunnel. The thorniest, most majestic rose in the Garden of E-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Keeva rolled her eyes and in turn patted his shoulders. “So I’ve been told many times.”

“I’ll make sure yours and Stoney’s bed is the best,” Kelly pointed a finger in her face, gave her cheek one last squeeze and then walked back behind his desk. He sat down and started organizing the scattered papers.

“Don’t waste your time. The Ritz or the Bronx - he snores, anyway,” she nonchalantly scoffed as she gathered the posters that were stacked in the printer. But meanwhile, her heart rose all the way up to her throat.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. One bed.

Oh, that’s bad.

Polygram might’ve been generous enough to give them an ugly van, but they couldn’t spend more money on plane tickets to get them to New York first so they could drive around the tour dates from there.

Which meant a three-day ride from Seattle across the whole States just to get to the first venue, switching at the wheel every few hours so the other could get some sleep - and there were only five of them, because Keeva never had the money or the time to get a driver’s license.

The ride was exhausting. Even though she was sitting in the front seat the whole time, Bruce had to pull over so she could go puke in a ditch three times before they even got out of Washington.

The guys in the back seemed to be having fun, though. Greg spent most of the time he wasn’t driving by sleeping, Andy brought his portable video game so he could keep his little fantasy football league rolling - Jeff was really into it, too.

Oh, Andy. He came back a few days before his birthday and he was drained. Weak, hungry, tired. Exhausted but determined - even through all that, he looked healthier than before and the tour was somewhat of a distraction for him, easing him into the dawning reality of coming back to normal life.

For his sake, there were a few rules set up before they left - no partying, no excessive drinking and hard or soft drugs in his presence, preferably not at all.

The guys seemed a bit bummed at first - it wasn’t like they were planning to get fucked up every night, but this was their first tour - everyone in their twenties, what else were they supposed to do than have a good time? And ‘a good time’ was always stereotypically tied to substances. Loosening people up, connecting. Almost a necessity to make a group of differing personalities get along, albeit for a limited amount of time.

Thankfully, they were all intelligent enough to set all the expectations and youthful recklessness aside and promised to behave for their friend.

Stone spent the whole ride reading - he was going through his Lovecraftian phase. Everything cosmic horror excited him. The fear of the unknown, the horror of silence, of colours, of what lurks in places we cannot possibly reach.

Keeva wondered if he found himself in that. The threatening of things that are personal to him - stuff that disrupts the usual, disturbing the comfortable silence that’s shared with someone important, the vast smallness and inconsequence of our existence when facing the skies.

Loneliness. Deep-seated fear. Pain.

He’d just say to her that he needs to get scared sometimes to see if he still has emotions - with that stupid smug smirk on his face.

When they arrived at the hotel and walked into their room for the first time, Keeva was genuinely taken aback.

She didn’t expect anything fancy, but this looked a bit like her parents’ flat back in London - and that was a drug den.

There was a disgustingly ragged red carpet in the middle of the room, a double bed with iron posts, a tiny bedtable next to it and one armchair in the corner, covered in holes.

The most luxurious thing about it was the little balcony next to the window - it gave them a beautiful view of the peeling wall of the building next to them.

“Well, isn’t this nice,” Stone said with an amused smile as he dropped his duffle bag next to the bed.

Keeva had to swallow a few times to push down the lump in her throat. She’d hoped that somehow, somewhere, a mistake was made and they would end up having two beds - even though she knew that was just delusional.

Fucking hell. Someone up there has really got it in for me.

“Wow, The Plaza really isn’t what I thought it would be like,” she chuckled and walked over to the window to let some fresh air into the stale room.

Sadly, the breeze wasn’t as satisfying as she thought - New York definitely had nothing on the crisp mountain air that was floating around Seattle.

Nonetheless, she inhaled a big breath and took a quick peek at Stone over her shoulder. He was searching through the bag for something.

“Uh, you wanna take the bed?” she said, her voice coming out just as meek as she’d feared. “I’m fine with the floor, it looks clean enough.”

He looked up with a smirk and continued to rummage around.

“I don’t bite, Baby,” he hummed and when he noticed Keeva’s eyes widened for a split second, he chuckled and looked away again. “Kidding, you take the bed, of course. I like sleeping on the floor. Makes me feel grounded.”

Stone clearly expected her to laugh at his stupid pun, raising his eyebrow when she just looked away and took another breath of the smoke-laced air outside.

“I mean - we can -” she stuttered out, but he shook his head and finally found his pipe and a little zip bag with a few clumps of weed buried under all the clothes. Keeva was glad that he at least had the decency to dig it in so deep - every time they passed a state border, she was so on edge that she thought she’d fall out of the open window.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Stone said without much care in his voice and threw the pipe and his book on the bed. He took a towel out of his bag and headed to the bathroom to shower. They still had a good few hours before the quick soundcheck for tonight’s show.

Keeva rested her elbows on the windowsill, watching all the stereotypical yellow taxis pass down the street below.

Picture-perfect New York. Just like she’d imagined when she was selling cheap postcards at her dodgy music shop in the dumps of Shoreditch.

Ever since the dawning thought came to her mind on that roof six months ago, she’d been scrutinized by the memory of every second spent with him.

She didn’t understand - how can you be haunted by something that is still in the process of happening?

It was like a dam broke when she allowed herself to think those words - and it was irreparable, no matter how hard she tried to rebuild it.

Suddenly, Stone was occupying her head from the moment she woke up to the moment she fell asleep at dawn. Before, she’d thought that her supposed friend was on her mind way too often.

But it was nothing compared to…this.

Every time he closed his eyes while playing, making himself miss a few notes. Every time the corner of his mouth twitched when he threw a jab her way. Every time he scratched his jaw while reading his notes in the studio. Every time he looked at her with a thoughtful frown during their lunches at Julia’s, his eyes swirling with an unreadable emotion.

Every single move he made, her brain taunted her by repeating the same sentence.

I’m in love with you.

Over…and over…and over.

Keeva felt much less cool these days. More prone to blushing at his digs, having a hard time coming up with witty quips to combat his. She was pretty certain that from an outsider’s point of view, it wasn’t too noticeable - but deep inside her bones, there was a civil war going on.

And then - somewhen along the excruciating timeline of the past months of recording the EP and spending more and more time with him due to having fewer shifts at the café - came an earth-shattering consensus of her heart and her mind: Stone’s pragmatic idea of ‘the friendly help-out’ was the only way to get rid of the silly false idea that she could actually be properly in love with him.

It would set her free of this romantic nonsense. She would do it and realize that there’s no noble feeling behind this madness. He’s just hot and rude, that’s it. They can still like each other as pals and have fun, blow off some steam. But nothing else.

That is a terrible, terrible idea.

That is actually a viable solution to all of my problems.

After pondering those two opinions back and forth from dusk to dawn, Keeva convinced herself that the second one was the right way to go.

She already felt like she was ruining their friendship by having those thoughts about him - sometimes, she thought, Stone looked at her as if he could hear them and that was the last thing she’d want to risk.

Well, if I offer this, it will send a clear message. And then he won’t suspect anything because -

Ugh, there’s nothing to suspect, shh.

He won’t feel weird about it because I’ll affirm that there is no it. And that there will be no it. Fuck, I’m not making any sense.

This building had a strange energy. She felt like she was in closer proximity to him than at home, where they were living in the same room. Maybe it was the different environment. Different state. The beginning of life on road - even if it was only a few dates now.

Keeva was thinking so loudly that she hadn’t noticed that Stone got out of the shower, put on clean clothes and walked out on the flimsy balcony. He sat down on the iron floor, clearly not caring that it was both cold and dirty.

She peeked out of the window so she could see him - the still-crispy Spring breeze flowed through his freshly washed hair. The scent of strawberries and the weed he was puffing on - that strange mixture that had grown to encompass everything he was to her - carried over to the window even through the stench of car fumes.

His nose peeked out of the curtains of damp hair that obscured the rest of his face. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

And the soft smile that appeared on his face as faint sunbeams sparkled through the clouds and shined on his face charmed Keeva so intensely that she moved away from the window and made the few challenging steps toward the balcony.

She walked out and sat opposite him with a sigh, waited for a few moments and then fixed her eyes on the wicker pattern under her feet - he looked at her with a questioning grin, but she was prepared to avoid his eyes at any cost.

Stone tried to loosen up her obvious nervousness by jokingly offering her a puff, fully expecting her to throw him one of her looks and do something like kick his shin. So, he jumped a bit when she actually reached for the pipe, raised it to her lips and took a big hit.

Keeva would’ve loved to see his expression when she handed it back, but she valued her already fleeting confidence more.

Fuck it.

“You know, I’ve been kind of thinking about that whole, uh, proposal of yours.”

She didn’t lift her eyes, but she could tell that Stone paused for a double-take between her and his pipe.

“Huh?” he said, curious and confused.

Keeva held her breath as she thought her next words through.

“You know, how you said that you’d help,” she said softly, still adamant about not looking at him. He sat back and laid his hands in his lap, spreading his legs. She’d noticed that he started picking on his nails.

“I’m lost.”

He really did sound lost, but as always, there was a hint of tease in his voice that could’ve been interpreted as taunting.

“I mean - uh, that friendly help-out thing?” she peeped out, squeezing her eyes closed as she finally lifted her head. “That you said we could do anytime we needed?”

Keeva opened one eye to see Stone’s surprised face, his expression going from a confused frown to a reserved smile.

God. He wasn’t teasing.

“Oh. Uh, sure. Sure, I mean…” he stuttered out, clearly taken aback. “Fuck, you good?”

This is bad.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Sorry, I -” she started and felt her determination gush out of her ears as if her head was a broken hydrant. “- it was just a stupid question, forget about it. No worries, really.”

I’ll be leaving to bury myself alive now, bye.

“No, the offer still stands. I’m just surprised,” he chuckled and took a puff, quickly going back to his ever-so-cool attitude. “I thought that we’d established that that’s not ever happening, so what’s going on?”

Keeva blinked a few times to digest his words.

Shit. I didn’t think he was going to question it.

“Um…it’s just - there’s, like, a guy that I like and, you know, if something happens I don’t wanna look like a clueless idiot in front of him,” she lied through her teeth, giving him a cramped smile.

Please believe me. Please believe me.

“Uh, right,” Stone squinted at her, slowly breaking into a smirk.

He doesn’t believe me.

“Jeez, what kind of a best friend are you? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he continued, nudging her leg with his foot. She quickly tucked her knees under her chin to get out of his reach - she wanted to keep at least the few remaining bits of her dignity.

Best friend.

“I - didn’t wanna jinx it,” she mumbled. Stone just nodded.

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

Keeva had to push back an eye-roll.

That’s not the point and you know it, dickhead.

“Met him at The Ditto. You don’t know him,” she explained and folded her arms to hide her flinch.

He knows everybody. Shit.

“Oh. Phew,” Stone whistled. “So he’s an out-of-town? What’s his name?”

This was quickly spinning into an interrogation she did not appreciate. On one hand, he had a right to ask his questions, but knowing him - he already read her like a book. Keeva was a terrible liar and he knew that very well.

“Yeah, uh, K-Kentucky. Jed from Kentucky.”

Stone snorted.

“Jed from Kentucky?” he repeated with raised eyebrows and put a strand of his wet hair behind his ear. I’m in love with you. “Didn’t know you were into hicks, I would’ve tried my redneck accent on you. People say it’s indistinguishable from the real deal.”

“That wouldn’t work because, unlike you, he’s hot,” she spat back with a taunting frown. He wasn’t having any of it, though.

“Ouch, you’re giving me a whiplash,” he chuckled and theatrically threw his head back, accidentally bumping into the wall with a thud. “Didn’t you just say you wanna have sex with me, like, thirty seconds ago?”

Keeva’s cheeks grew so red that she actually feared a vein would burst under her skin. She rolled her eyes and banged her forehead against her knees a few times. She had holes in her denim overalls and her legs was pleasantly cold, unlike her face.

“Describe him then, maybe I just don’t recognize him by name,” he kept pushing and now she was certain he was just fucking with her. It was written all over his smug face.

“He’s, uh…”

Her brain froze on a single set of features long ago. Almost like she wasn’t able to recall any other ones existing anymore. No matter how hard she tried, she could never see anything else.

Brown waves, huge green eyes, elven nose. Pale, gangly and a self-righteous prick.

“He’s, uh, blonde,” she mumbled, snapping away from his face. “Blue eyes, little button nose, kinda tan. Sweet guy.”

Nailed it.

Stone gave her a slow praising nod, humming.

“Solid choice, Baby,” he said and dragged his leg up, resting his elbow on his knee. I’m in love with you. “I might not be a good training wheel for that, though. Quite the opposite. You sure that we’re on the same page here?”

Oh, come on.

“I, uh…fucking hell, Stone,” Keeva sighed and dropped her arms in frustration, finally snapping. “Stop grilling me, ‘kay? You know I just wanna try it out. If you’re not up for it, I completely get it, but I’m already dying from embarrassment here so stop doing this whole fucking Stoney thing you do.”

“What Stoney thing?” he innocently asked and had to bite his cheek to hold back a laugh.

“This!” she groaned and stretched out to repeatedly slap his arm. “Acting - like - you’re - clueless - while - you - laugh - in - my - fucking - face!”

“Sorry, sorry, yield!” Stone giggled and shuffled away, running his hand through his hair again. I’m in love with you. “Couldn’t resist, come on. I can’t just let it slide without fucking with you a bit. Of course I’m up for it.”

Of course I’m up for it.

“You are?” she frowned as the weight of the moment finally hit her. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath almost the entire time.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be? Already offered it, too,” he shrugged as if all of this didn’t phase him at all.

“Yeah. But I thought you, like, changed your mind or something,” she said and reached out, taking the pipe from him to take another hit. “Got sick of me and all that, now that I’m not fresh meat.”

Now she could enjoy the way Stone’s jaw dropped - at her gesture or her prickly comment, she didn’t know. But it was adorable, nonetheless.

“Fresh meat?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, I didn’t realize your attention span was so solid. Kinda impressed,” she nodded and handed back the pipe. He scoffed.

“You’re a sardonic little shit and you look like a Gelfling. How could I get sick of that?”

The sincerity in his voice hit Keeva right in the stomach, melting her from the inside like a laser beam. She could do nothing but hide her wide grin by resting her head on her knees again. A few moments of silence passed before Stone cleared his throat.

“So is there a Jed from Kentucky or…”

“I hate you,” she lamented and couldn’t help but start laughing as the tension slowly left her muscles. He joined her, slapping his knees.

“Just making sure I’m not stepping on any redneck toes here,” he raised his palms in defence with a shrug. She groaned.

“Ugh. Fuck. Me.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the theory,” he said when the laughter died down, a sly smile still resting on his face.

Keeva chuckled and then the air started getting heavy again. The high of finally getting this off her chest started fading and the realization of started weighing on her shoulders, making her physically slump.

What the fuck have I done?

“Just, uh…just come up to me when you’re ready, okay?” Stone interrupted the creeping silence, his voice as soft as a feather. “Whenever you want. I’ll wait.”

She wouldn’t dare to look at him, just giving him a nod and a silent ‘thanks’.

“There’s just a few points to go through,” he added, a bit more serious. It felt like it was dawning on him, too.

Keeva raised her eyebrows with an amused grin, trying to lighten the situation.

“Jesus, you’re so professional it’s frightening. Is this a blood pact?” she lunged forward, putting her hand over her mouth. “Do I have to sign a contract? Like an NDA or something?”

Stone mocked a laugh and shook his head in disapproval.

“If you ask nicely, I will print one out for you,” he replied and reached out to flick her nose. She hummed.

“Maybe we’ll find it in the Ten Commandments. ‘Thou shalt not spreadest the word of Stone’s obscene cock size -’”

“I appreciate your sentiments, but please shut your piehole for a second,” he shot back, shaking his head again when she stifled a laugh.

“I just can’t take you seriously, you’re so fucking dramatic -”

“First things first,” he interrupted her again, clearly growing a bit irritated at her nervous rambling. “I’m tested and disease-free, just so you know.”

“Yeah, Stoney, I figured,” she said with a soft smile. It wasn’t like she didn’t expect Stone to be serious about it, but the softness of his approach still sent a warm wave through her body.

“Just putting it out there,” he shrugged and started counting on his fingers. “Second, I try my best, but I’m not clairvoyant, believe it or not. So you have to tell me to stop when you want me to stop. It’s okay to say ‘no’. I need you to say ‘no’. Otherwise, it could mess you up real bad and that’s not happening on my watch.”

Christ. This is really going to happen one day, isn’t it?

Keeva tried to shoo away the anxiety by joking - as per usual.

“Thought we were gonna have sex, not go into a battlefield.”

“Same thing,” Stone said and took a quick puff, ignoring how her eyes widened. She knew that he had a problem with joking to avoid stress, too, but... “Third, I don’t know if you’re taking pills -”

She scoffed.

“I’m a virgin and I’m poor.”

“Right,” he shook his head after a small pause. “Either way, wrapper it is, always. We don’t need any more Stoneys running around this shithole planet.”

“Uh,” she cleared her throat. “I beg to differ.”

“Shush,” he hissed and bit his tongue to hide a smile. He took a longer pause now. Heavier than the last one, which made her shudder. “One final thing. I don’t do ki-”

“Kissing.”

Stone blinked a few times and shuffled in his seat, clearly taken aback when Keeva finished his sentence. His lips tightened into a thin line - she was fairly surprised at his shock.

“You think I haven’t noticed?” she said, giving him a small chuckle. “You might not remember, but virginity doesn’t make you blind, you know.”

Silence.

“You okay with it?” he asked and she could swear she heard a smidge of insecurity in his voice.

Okay is a relative term. Disappointed would be more accurate.

“No kisses, no attachment, no hearts broken. Makes sense,” she shrugged and cautiously watched as Stone sat back, his eyebrow slightly twitching.

“Yeah?”

No.

“Yeah.”

If Keeva didn’t know better, she would’ve taken his sigh as awkward frustration. But Andy’s wise words from all that time ago echoed through her mind. Sometimes girls mistake his sarcasm for flirting.

“Good. Great,” he said, mirroring her polite smile. “Uh, any questions?”

If this is a friendly transaction, I guess it’s childish to ask if you’ll continue to fuck other girls.

“Will it hurt?”

Sure, much less childish.

God dammit. Long pause.

Stone’s expression softened as he broke into a sweet smile.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t,” he reassured her and reached out to affectionately squeeze her ankle. Keeva couldn’t help but relax.

“You’re sweet,” she said with a chuckle, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

It was all tangled and matted from the long drive and on top of that, desperately asking for a trim. The pink from her teenage years was long grown out and the stress-induced premature grey streak above her forehead was back, further adding to all of her insecurities.

Stone raised his hand as if on cue, twirled the few colourless curls around his index finger and then tucked them behind her ear.

“You’re cute,” he whispered and Keeva darted across his face for a few more seconds before slapping her thighs.

I’m in love with you.

“Well, I promised Jeff that I’ll take a look at his tuning pegs so his bass stays in tune for more than thirty seconds,” she scoffed and started to get up. “Am I dismissed now, professor, sir?”

Stone chuckled, sat back again and - unbeknownst to her - followed her with his eyes as she walked away, all the way through the room and until the very last second before she closed the door behind her.

“Yeah, sure.”

● ● ● ● ● ●

As soon as they walked out on stage, something felt off.

None of them didn’t expect a huge sold-out crowd, but they were so hungry and excited for this tour that they couldn’t help the disappointment.

The Cat Club was decently packed, but full of either label people or random tourists. There were a few people in the front who rocked out to every song from the very beginning, but there were also a couple of others who were clearly off their heads on MDMA.

There were also a bunch of guys that looked like they were from a biker gang, occasionally yelling a slur or two from the back table they were sitting at.

What bothered Keeva the most, though, was the group of what looked like three wasted frat boys that were regretfully standing right in front of her - and the stage and her treasured pedals were way too close to the crowd for her liking.

They were usually taking turns on solos from gig to gig - she, Bruce and Stone sometimes played little games to decide who would be soloing on which songs and today’s rock paper scissors landed her the Stardog instrumental. She loved that one - she could unleash all the boiling swirls of confusion that made their home inside her and channel them into psychedelic madness.

But now, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to pull that kind of attention to herself.

Andy didn’t seem too bothered by the lacklustre crowd. He just did what he did best - he was being a fucking rockstar. And a sharp-tongued one at that.

“Pooks. My sweet, sweet Pookster. Let’s do this bit, baby girl,” he exclaimed into the microphone and walked over to Keeva, taking her around the shoulders. She used to feel embarrassed when he involved her in his routines, but by now she was not only used to it - she entertained it. “How about you tell all of us one outrageous opinion of yours? Loud and proud so we can get a little feel of the audience, please.”

“Okay, uh…” she stuttered when Andy stuck the microphone into her face, brushing her hair aside. She scratched her head and scanned the crowd.

Okay, frat boys right here, biker gang back there, oh - there’s a few punks right here too. Label guys. Oh god, there are metalheads in that corner. This is like a Molotov.

“Oh, there we go: any fucker here that says that they don’t enjoy ABBA is a liar and a stinky, filthy, smelly little poser. Thank you,”

Keeva’s bow was met with a few giggles - mostly from the band - and noticeably more boos. That made her laugh.

“Woah, tough crowd,” she said, backing away from the microphone as Andy and the rest of the band kept on laughing their asses off.

One of the frat boys right in front of her thought that it would be a perfect time to holler.

“Show us your tits!”

That made her stop laughing. She raised her eyebrows as high as they could go.

“You wanna see my tits?” she asked when she walked over to her own mic, patting the ‘I FUCKED TIPPER GORE’ sign on her chest - the guy screamed from the top of his lungs. And by the nature of herd behavior, soon many in the room started whistling and wooing, too. She looked over her shoulder at the band. “Okay, how much were the tickets?”

“Like, three, four bucks,” Bruce answered, a sly smile plastered on his face because he already figured out the punchline.

“Yeah,” she sucked her teeth and turned back at the guy, a pitiful frown on her face. “Looks like you didn’t pay even nearly enough, pal.”

A few more boos echoed through the small room and the band laughed even harder. Although, Jeff was clearly just a snap away from spitting on someone.

“Oh, she’s a little feisty, isn’t she?” Andy giggled, pacing around the stage while toying with the mic cord. “You know, I’ll let you in on a little insider story. This one is dedicated to the front row. Keeks here, she’s a pretty lady, huh?”

Oh no.

As a new wave of whistles appeared, Keeva pleaded with her eyes to Andy to just drop it. She could handle herself. But he just raised his finger as if to say ‘trust the process’. So she just cracked an embarrassed smile and walked over to her amp to hopefully calm down with a beer.

“Yeah, she’s like…some type of a fairy, I think,” Andy continued pacing and waved his arms around as if he was telling the most gripping fairytale of the century. “She’s like four feet tall, pointy ears, tiny little feet. They can kick some ass, but still. Aaanyway, she’s like our resident teddy bear or something. And we call her Pooky. Now, I’m sure that most of you are familiar with the Garfield comics, right?”

A few hoots stood out from the crowd, but the reception was pretty lukewarm so far.

“For those who aren’t, it’s a story about a cat - he’s a sly sarcastic bastard who has this cute little semi-sentient teddy bear. And his name is Pooky, so that’s why we call her Pooky.”

Keeva took a big sip and exchanged a confused grin with Greg, who was having a smoke behind his kit. He offered her to finish his cigarette, so she gladly took it from him and anxiously waited to hear what Andy had cooking up.

“Uh, those of you who’ve read it know that Garfield is really protective of this teddy bear of his, and if someone hurts Pooky, he’ll scratch their ugly little eyes out.”

He said the last thing so nonchalantly it made her inhale the smoke too fast, so she tried to stifle a cough and got all red in the face, making Stone laugh - he was standing right next to her, fiddling with his amp.

“Yeah and, uh, you might be asking yourself ‘Well, if Keeks is the Pooky, then who is the Garfield here?’” Andy poised the question and started stroking his chin like a philosopher. Keeva already knew where he was going, though, as her eyes widened.

No, Andy, don’t do this to m-

“Well, in this alternate universe, the Garfield here is Stoney. And if any of you fuckers -” he pointed from Stone to the trio in front of her, “- try to touch Pooky again, he’s gonna beat your fucking ass into a bloody pulp.”

A wave of screams, hoots, and whistles joined the joyfully raised fists and a few middle fingers. Andy just always found a way to unite the audience, good or bad. Keeva’s eyes popped open and she turned to Stone, who was already looking at her and bending over laughing.

“I’ve seen it happen before and let me tell you, little frat boy heads don’t mix well with Stoney’s boots,” he raised his finger and threatened everyone with a faux dramatic frown. “He’s wearing his trusty rusty Docs tonight and he’s a size 14, so that’s some food for thought for you all. Let’s go, this is Stardog Champion.”

Keeva couldn’t wait to jump into the song, so as soon as Stone finished tuning his guitar - still laughing - they could count it up and rip into the intro.

As they went through the opening riff booming with distortion, Andy quickly went over to her with a sly smile on his face and kissed her cheek.

Just as they were nearing the solo, Keeva stopped roaming the stage and positioned herself right in front of her set-up.

As always, she tried to ignore anything that was going on in front, behind, above or under her, but it felt like someone was grabbing her ankle - then her knee and after that tried to snake higher.

She ripped her leg away and saw that it was one of the frat boys. She mouthed a ‘fuck off’ to him and then reluctantly walked back to the front - she had to use her pedals. But they were just too close and this time, his friend joined in.

They started grabbing her calves and because of how short she was, they would end up reaching all the way up her thigh if she didn’t twitch away - she managed to do that, but the guitar was oh so heavy and her head started spinning.

Where is everybody?

When ripping away didn’t work, Keeva started kicking - and lo and behold, her heavy combat boot landed right on one of the guy’s forehead, taking him out.

Uh. K.O.? Yay? Oh shi-

The other guy grabbed the leg that was still in the air and pulled, knocking her to the floor as she lost balance.

When Keeva looked around her, she’d noticed that they clearly planned to drag her into the crowd, so she did what she usually did back home when a man twice her size tried to beat her up - she spat in his face.

This time, though, it didn’t work out as well as she’d planned, because the guy she kicked down got back up in the meantime, somehow acquired an empty bottle of beer and slammed it against her head.

Before Keeva could even register the pain, the one she spat on swung his fist and landed right on her nose.

And at that moment, she blacked out to the fading screams around her.

She gained consciousness for a few moments just as Stone blew a gasket. He jumped into the crowd after literally throwing his guitar away - even in her delirium, she managed to reach for it and catch it right before it hit the floor. She let out a small ‘oof’ and clutched it to her chest.

Careful, not The 3, man. That’s not cool. Not cool.

Oh, look, blood.

There was a lot of blood. On her hands, in her eyes, on her guitar and t-shirt - and now Stone’s guitar was bloody, too.

In her peripheral, she saw Jeff and Andy jump down too as the crowd around Stone numbered and swallowed him - clearly the punks and bikers in the back were just edging for something like this to happen.

The fuse.

But Stone was doing just fine - he sucker-punched the guy that sucker-punched Keeva and then kicked him while he was on the floor, spewing insults so ferociously that he had spit flying all around him. His height gave him an advantage, too - he stuck out of the crowd and swinging his lanky arms around allowed him to hit multiple people in one go.

Sadly, one of the bikers took the opportunity of Stone’s volatile rage to punch him right in the back of the head.

Even Greg leapt over his kit and went right in. Keeva began to faint again, but Bruce - looking almost angelic in her deluded mind with his brightly bleached hair and gangly limbs - came up to her, scooped her in his arms and carried her backstage.

The last thing she could hear was Stone’s well-mannered attempt to defuse the situation.

“Shut your fucking mouth, you bald cunt! I’ll bash your little fucking brain in, you fucking bastard!”

She woke up in the car as Bruce sped down the road back to the hotel. She felt sick to her stomach, but somehow managed to keep it in as she looked around, her head pounding. The guys were huddled around her, sighing in unison when they saw her eyelashes flutter.

Greg was sitting by the window with wide eyes as he tried to ask her how many fingers was she seeing - he had a wet rag slapped on the top of his head.

“What’re those faces for?” Keeva mumbled and tried to sit up. Andy, who was sitting next to her, quickly moved to ease her down. She grumpily slapped his hands away, but immediately had to apologize as he hissed - the knuckles on his right hand were purple and swolen.

“You’ve been in and out of it for ten minutes,” Jeff said, clearly a bit annoyed. Probably at the world in general, but she cringed at his hostile tone nonetheless. He was pressing an ice pack to his eye - she couldn’t see it, but judging by his expression, it hurt pretty bad.

“We’re going back to The Plaza, someone called the cops so we had to pack up and dip,” Bruce called over his shoulder - he was the only one with a clean face. “Straight to the hospital after that, no arguing.”

Keeva scoffed.

“If we’re running away from pigs, we probably don’t wanna waste time at the hospital for no reason,” she mumbled, her hoarse vocal chords cracking multiple times.

“Okay, Al Capone, take it down a notch,” a barely recognizable voice croaked from the corner - it was even more nasal than usual. “We’re not fleeing a murder scene.”

Her eyes immediately snapped to him.

His visage spoke otherwise - Stone was by the other window, holding a bloody towel to his actively leaking nose. He had a deep scratch slicing his eyebrow and the wide carmine bruise on his cheekbone was visible even in the unlit car.

She stared at his battered face for a few seconds before choosing to hide her horror behind a venomous mask.

I’m in love with you.

“You sounded like you were about to kill someone, what else are we doing?” she hissed and tried to sit up again, almost as if she wanted to lean closer and punch him, too. For what reason, she didn’t know - he didn’t do anything.

There was just an inexplicable wave of anger that repeatedly ran through her - and through him, too, apparently. He took a wet breath and leaned closer as well, clearly ready to throw back an insult.

“Calm down, you two!” Andy pleaded again, trying to push Keeva back down, but she shook his arms off - her head felt like it was about to explode.

“No! I don’t need to go anywhere. I don’t wanna go anywhere.”

“Save the energy, Pooks,” Greg softly said and reached out to stroke her knee. Somehow, he was always the one that managed to calm Keeva down - like the big brother she never had. That didn’t stop her from shaking her head as she laid back down in her seat, though.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Your forehead is cracked open,” Stone barged in again, but his scratchy voice faded in her ears and dissolved like a fog - as did the rest of her surroundings.

“Bullshit. I don’t even…feel a…thing.”

● ● ● ● ● ●

Five hours. They were waiting in the emergency room for five hours already. After many various arguments back and forth, the guys reluctantly agreed to stay back at the hotel to get some sleep - Stone stubbornly insisted on being the one to drive Keeva to the nearest hospital.

That was a good call, because she found out that he had a broken nose when they got there and checked each other’s faces under the harsh fluorescent lamps.

By then, they were sitting on the floor - somehow, it was more comfortable than the plastic seats. Stone was trying to clean the dirt around the cuts on Keeva’s forehead. The blood around his nose was finally drying up.

“Are they fucking melting metal to make the needles from scratch? What’s taking so long?” he spat out and wiped his clammy hands on his jeans. His fingers were vigorously shaking as he reached out again and continued to press the rag to her skin.

“Jesus Chris, chill out, Stoney,” she muttered and quickly patted his knee. “I’m fine.”

“What the fuck even happened there?”

Keeva didn’t even realize they hadn’t talked about it yet. They were too busy trying to take their mind off of things by talking about stupid things - like why hospitals always choose to paint their walls with baby puke yellow. The longer they were there, though, the more on edge Stone seemed.

“Dunno. I was ready to do the solo and they just dragged me down,” Keeva shrugged. “Guess I provoked them or something.”

Stone harshly clicked his tongue.

“Shut the fuck up. Don’t you dare even suggest that it was your fault.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly subtle,” she replied with a bitter chuckle. “Not my first time getting punched for that, though.”

He stared at her for a moment and then broke into a grin when she gave him a ‘what are you gonna do about it?’ smirk.

“I believe that,” he nodded. “Spunky little runt running around the mean streets.”

“Ow!” she squealed when Stone pressed too hard. He immediately backed away, raising his hands.

“Fuck, sorry. Sorry. I think I’m doing more harm than good here,” he mumbled and put the towel away. He rested his back against the cold wall with a frustrated sigh, darting across the empty waiting room.

He looked as if he’d just walked through a meat grinder. Andy insisted that he wore eyeshadow tonight and as it blended with the sweat and the bruise under his eye, it appeared like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Keeva felt so incredibly bad.

“Never had anyone play the nurse before, though. Kinda enjoying this,” she smiled and nudged his side. He scoffed and looked at her again, scanning all the trails of red that were still smudged on her face.

“That makes one of us.”

“Don’t act so coy,” she pressed and hyped herself up to take Stone around the shoulders, ignoring the sting in her rib she hadn’t even noticed until then. Surely if she was coherent and playful enough, maybe he’d be annoyed instead of worried. “What was that thing that Andy said?”

He shook his head with an amused frown.

“What?”

Oh, you know exactly what.

“You’ve kicked someone in the head before?!” she said, putting on an outraged tone. Stone shrugged and inched away from Keeva to take a proper look at her battered face again.

“Yeah. Hey, what? Why are you laughing?” he chuckled and softly tugged on her high ponytail when she giggled as if it was the funniest idea under the sun.

“Little picket-fence uptown lawyer son getting into street fights?”

He seemed a bit restrained, even though he was silently laughing with her.

“Yeah, not really,” he mumbled and leaned his head on the wall again. “But I wasn’t such a square back then, you know. I was fun once.”

No more frowns today.

I’m in love with you.

“No way!” Keeva theatrically gasped. Her throat was sore from coughing all evening, so the breath painfully hitched in her throat. “I can’t imagine you ever being fun. Causing mayhem, money-laundering alcohol, constantly taking the piss out of your sweet, kind, dainty, adorable roommate. God forbid making sex jokes, eugh!”

Stone laughed, but didn’t add anything else for the next few minutes. Keeva trailed off, too. He clearly wasn’t in a mood to joke and she knew better than to push it.

Fuck, why did I have to make an ABBA joke? Wasn’t even that funny in the first place. It never is.

“I had a girlfriend. Once,” Stone quietly disturbed the stiff silence. She turned to him, only to find his eyes closed. Somehow, he seemed even more beaten than before. “I’ve kicked many hypothetical heads throughout that whole…thing.”

Oh. Oh, right.

“I’ve heard,” she mumbled and the arm she had around him twitched.

Stone scoffed.

“‘Course you did. I feel like it’s a part of the Seattle folklore by now. ‘Hey, remember when Stoney Gossard got cucked by a Mormon and half of the fucking town?’”

Now he sounded beaten, too.

Keeva didn’t know what to say. What could she even say to that? There were no magic words to erase heartbreak, as much as she’d love that.

The comfort that Stone’s mere presence brought her wasn’t something she could express though speaking - let alone trying to rationalize to him why he didn’t bring comfort to someone he was willingly giving it to.

She didn’t expect him to elaborate any further, yet…

“One day I just didn’t have the energy to kick anymore,” he added, slowly and deliberately - as if he was fighting his way through the sentence. “Guess she didn’t like that. Honestly, my legs have been kinda tired since then.”

Keeva tried to recall everything she’d heard about that ordeal.

‘Oh, Tara? Man, she was a bitch.’

‘That girl had a stick up her ass.’

‘Tara was a big ol’ cheater.’

‘I despised how she belittled him.’

‘Tara hated the smart-ass comments. I’m surprised she even lasted that long.’

That’s the one.

“We should write that down. Such sweet poetry from a guy who has a black eye and a ripped lip,” she nonchalantly sighed and squeezed Stone’s shoulder. “You’re a man of many talents.”

The giggle he gave her was more soothing to her injuries than opium could ever be.

“Hey, shut it,” he nudged her before snaking his arm around her waist. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re the first girl I’ve kicked a head for in years, okay?”

Keeva felt like her nose was about to start bleeding again.

“I’m honoured, I swear,” she mumbled and rested her head on his shoulder, exhausted.

I’m in love with you.

“You better be.”

Another long silence followed, but it was much lighter than before. She felt a surge of bravery rush through her pounding head.

“You know, if I’d ever met her, I’d be happy to swing a few fists around.”

She earned another heavenly chuckle.

“Yeah, bet you would,” Stone silently nodded and squeezed her closer to him. “She was like eight inches taller than you, though.”

I can imagine.

Tall. Silky hair. Athletic. Ambitious. Serious. Elegant. Everything I’m not.

I’d punch down hard.

“Do I look like I care?” she muttered, not able to keep her bitterness back, but she realized that probably only made him more amused.

“Not really, no,” Stone said, a wide grin plastered on his face. Keeva sighed. She got so lost in his warmth for a moment that she could barely hear herself speak.

“She missed out, you know?”

“On what?” Stone deadpanned and the honesty in his voice made her heart hurt almost as much as her head. “A resentful sarcastic prick?”

Keeva looked up and lifted her hand, softly turning him to face her. She wondered how he always managed to shed his borderline cocky confidence so abruptly.

“A friend.”

Before she could properly take in Stone’s sad smile, the nurse finally appeared at the door of the waiting room.

Thankfully nobody at the hospital asked any questions - it was three in the morning in the middle of Bronx, they were clearly used to seeing worse.

The nurse cleaned both of them up and disinfected them from head to toe. Keeva got three stitches on her forehead and one little stitch on her cheek while Stone’s nose got painfully cracked back in its usual position. The doctor supplied them with enough Advil for two horses and sent them on their way.

The car ride was silent, but Stone’s melancholic expression was unchanging throughout the whole way to the hotel and up the stairs to their room.

The fact that they only had one bed didn’t phase her much this time.

Neither of them headed to the shower, or to change their clothes, or to the balcony. Or to prepare the floor for sleeping. They just sat on the bed in unison as if the air itself was pushing them down.

Keeva didn’t have the confidence to look at him, so she just started at her lap and observed the tiny cut on her index finger.

Maybe it was the adrenaline of it all that made her bold enough to lift her gaze - only to find that Stone was already cautiously watching her. She shuffled a tiny bit closer - if it was anybody else, they probably wouldn’t have noticed.

But this was him.

He didn’t follow her movement, but something shifted in his eyes. Keeva couldn’t tell what exactly was it - she’d never seen his face so blank.

“You’re hurt.”

I didn’t even say anything.

I didn’t even have to say anything.

She took a moment to think.

If it was meant as an argument for why they shouldn’t, Stone failed to sell it. His voice was low and way too unconvinced by his own reasoning.

Be bold, you little runt. Be bold. It’s only life.

“So are you,” she whispered and reached out to cup his cheek, lightly running her thumb across the bruise that painted it. Stone’s eyelashes fluttered closed as he breathed out a shallow sigh - and that was the final straw she needed. “It makes the pain go away, doesn’t it?”

He opened his eyes.

The green seemed so fluorescent it blinded her. Her heartbeat grew so rapid it deafened her.

But she could still feel.

The rigid mattress was suddenly as soft as a rivlet of down feathers. But it was nothing compared to the tips of his fingers.

She registered his few swift movements only because the sheets wrinkled around her and before she snapped out of it, his knees were at the sides of her hips. Stone rested his palm next to her head and slowly traced her face with his other hand, like he was playing connect-the-dots with her freckles.

“You really shouldn’t learn that from me, Baby,” he whispered and ran the back of his index finger from the tip of her forehead down along her cheek, across her neck and below her clavicle - it felt like he was hovering above her skin. As if he was just touching the tips of the goosebumps that rose before he even moved closer.

Down, down, down.

I’m in love with you.

Too late.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

People Who Capitalize Every Word In A Sentence Like It's A Long Ass Movie Title... why y'all do that? Like... not only is it wrong and visually unappealing (to me, at least), it also takes more time to do. It gets on my nerves.

The temperature finally dropped low enough for me to pull the beanies out. The timing couldn't have been better because your girl is two weeks out from her next retwist and looks like it.

I really love how whoever produced "Luther" flipped the "If This World Were Mine" sample. It's always been such a beautiful song to me; from the voices, to the lyrics, to the strings, to the transitions... just an all-around phenomenally-arranged song. And now, I can't get it out of my head and I'm not even mad.

Seeing Cuzzos in the "Squabble Up" music video had me cheesing like I'm their auntie or something. They have such a chill, fun-loving vibe to me. I love to see it.

Speaking of that music video... folks are saying that the easter eggs in it all point to an upcoming double album. If that's true, after "Heart pt. 6", I'm hoping for a song featuring the other members of Black Hippy. And I'm excited to find out what he has planned for the day of the Compton Christmas Parade.

In graduate school, I learned that counselors - much like doctors - are bound to a code of ethics. One of the principles of those ethics is nonmaleficence, or the principle of doing no harm: "Counselors act to avoid harming their clients... and to minimize or to remedy unavoidable or unanticipated harm." Basically, don't leave nobody worse off than when they came to you. Although all the principles are necessary, that one has always been the most important to me. So much so, that it's turned into a personal mantra, and is always my goal when I interact with people (as Michelle, not just in a counselor/client setting).

I re-watched Breakin' All the Rules recently, and you know what? Despite Jamie Foxx's hair, it's a decent watch with a very original plot. It gets left out of a lot of early 2000s Black rom com conversations, but it shouldn't be.

That job is about to get the barest of minimums from me tomorrow. Think I'll even leave early to get my nails done.

I hate not knowing the next time I'll get to have a dick in my mouth. I'm in the mood to be told how pretty I look with and how good it feels to have my lips wrapped around it.

"Stick to the plan, not your mood" has been getting me together every time my alarm clock goes off and I want to press snooze and skip my morning workout. That being said, let me get my ass in the bed so I don't fuck up my streak.

[leonanette]

Vhagar

(from the fanfic, The Man in the Pearl Mask)

Domain: Goddess of war

Title: The Terrible

Family: The fourth to hatch from the original eggs, mother of Vermithor, lover of Arrax and Tyraxes (on and off)

Personality: Provocative, belligerent, reckless, greedy

Appearance: Pale skin and hair like a Targaryen, always wears expensive furs, silks and jewels, black eyes

Distinctive feature: Her body is a rotting corpse from the neck down

Animal aspect: Robin with black stripe in the middle

Inspiration: Ares

How to describe Vhagar? Take the recklessness of Gaelithox, the cunning of Vermax and the cruelty of Tessarion then remove all the good sense.

During the War for the High Throne of the Gods, Vhagar tried to form an alliance with Arrax just as Tyraxes did. Arrax and Vhagar carried on a passionate love affair. However, though being with Vhagar is fun and exciting in the beginning, even Arrax grew weary of her constant provocations and her caprices. He chose Tyraxes instead and the two of them took the throne with Vhagar demoted to a mere ally.

Arrax could never really stay away from Vhagar for long though. Neither could Tyraxes. Their natures meant they could never be apart for long and that developed into something more. They know it never ends well but there’s always something about her that keeps both Arrax and Tyraxes coming back for more and she always welcomes them back. Not even Tyraxes choosing to exile Vermithor, her only immortal son, affected Vhagar’s desire for her much. But, in truth, she never truly loved her son. She only saw him as a possible way back into Arrax’s favour. When that failed, she said nothing against Vermithor’s exile. Vermithor has no love for his mother either and all the other gods dislike her to various degrees.

She is the opposite of Syrax in that, while Syrax dislikes some of her domains, Vhagar embraces all of it. While Tyraxes embodies all the nobler aspects of war and shuns the unpleasant parts, Vhagar is happy with all the violence and suffering. If there is no war, she will provoke one. Even if it’s a fight among friends, she’ll be happy.

She is also very vain and greedy. She could take all the riches in the world and still wouldn’t be satisfied. She wears as much finery as she can and often in front of her rivals/lovers, Arrax and Tyraxes.

No one knows how Vhagar’s body became rotted. She wasn’t that way when she hatched. No one can quite remember when it happened either. Perhaps, she offended the wrong person and a witch cursed her after her side lost a war. Perhaps, it was a pestilence caused by Tessarion on Tyraxes’ orders because she had grown sick of her continually breaking the peace.

Perhaps, the other gods say behind her back, it’s just a reflection of what she is. She can cover herself in fine clothes and jewels all she can just as men write fine ballads and songs about the glory of war. Under the gloss and pretty words, both war and Vhagar are rotten to the core.

[seamayweed]

Wanna do the a03 wrapped thing? Because you should be! Here are some BTS things with the writer I would personally love to know (doesn't have to be for 2023): 

- favorite title (for a work or chap) 

- what relationship are you excited to explore next year? 

- what do you listen to while writing 

- fav line written this year, whether it's published or not 

- biggest surprise while writing this year?

 and anything bts with the writer you want to add!

aaaa thank you so much, i’m so flattered and touched that you would send me an ask like this 😭 i always feel like ppl aren’t that interested in my writing (or are annoyed by it), so this is a very pleasant and extremely encouraging surprise!!

(more underneath the cut since to absolutely no one's surprise i got very wordy yet again whoops)

favorite title (for a work or chap) 

the candles burned out the light since this song, and this line in particular, gave me so many ideas, both writing- and giffing-wise. also the latest chapter of Half of Your Fate (“two rings, one heart”) since i like the meaning behind it: there may be two rings, one for hwi, the other for seon-ho to keep, but their hearts are one.

what relationship are you excited to explore next year? 

1. bangseon bangseon bangseon - there are so many stories i want to tell about them that i haven’t told yet

2. seonrok as i’ve been promising for so long. i’m determined to be braver about tackling their relationship and writing them!!

3. myeonggun from bloodhounds

4. the jang bros from vincenzo

what do you listen to while writing

i listen to a lot of florence and the machine and paris paloma, for seonhwi i listen to a lot of joji, the weeknd is also a favorite, otherwise cigarettes after sex, the instrumental ost for the crowned clown is great for Half of Your Fate (esp. Snow Field is so seon-ho-core that it hurts my heart), and i know i’ve recced these two seon-ho playlists before.

fav line written this year, whether it's published or not 

1. if it’s a line, my mind always goes back to this one again from time to time; it's from the goblin king:

Cold unfolds inside her like a long winter night.

it was partially inspired by this translation of a beautiful sijo poem by hwang jini (1506-1567) who was a famous kisaeng (although this translation on wikipedia may express the double entendre better):

I will break the back of this long, midwinter night, Folding it double, fold beneath my spring quilt, That I may draw out the night, should my love return.

2. otherwise it’s the last 2-3 lines here, from the as of yet unfinished sequel of and bloodless again:

(for context: they are conintuing their arrangement where seon-ho helps bang-won fall asleep)

Seon-ho holds him, rocking him like he’s a child. He strokes his hair and his back, hums in his low, soothing voice. Lullaby-soft. The way Bang-won might do with his own daughters and sons. Seon-ho doesn’t have his own children. He doesn’t have a wife, doesn’t have a brother or a sister, nor a mother. Not anymore. His father might as well not be one. He has no family to speak of, in truth. So where did he learn such tenderness? Such love? Or—perhaps he did have children, once. Two of them, things spat out on the roadside, rotting and dying. A tragedy, certainly, but nothing special. Only more casualties of Goryeo. Of Bang-won. No one else would have given them a second glance. No one except Seon-ho. He didn’t walk past or look the other way, in that cutting way he has, seeing to the core of everything. He cannot make himself look away like other people do. It’s not in his nature. Maybe his life would be easier, if it was. It’s what makes him so terrifying. He picked them up from the ground and fed them from his bosom. He held them, long ago, before father, king, and country. Before they were ripped out of his arms, the way he was stolen from his mother’s. Bang-won wonders what it would be like to hold him, instead of just being held by him. To hold his heart in his mouth like a quail egg, small and fragile, and crack it between his teeth. To crack him in two: pieces of soft eggshell and blue.

biggest surprise while writing this year?

didn’t expect to be writing for bloodhounds!! gun-woo and myeonggun really took me by storm. also didn’t expect park sung-woong and knife daddy myeong-gil to completely take over my brain haha.

aside from that, i’ve become more confident about posting fics, even if i think they might not be good enough for posting or the fandom isn’t big enough for anyone to care. i’m proud of myself for going off anon on my darkfics. i think i’ve also become better at recognizing when i’m writing for others, instead of myself. the audience i should always be writing for first and foremost is myself, and sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of that. having learned all these things, hopefully i’ll be able to grow as a writer and become better at just having pure, mindless fun in the future!!

and anything bts with the writer you want to add!

not really... i think i've talked enough about myself and my writing by now /o\ if you've made it this far to the end of this very long and rambly reply, thank you for listening and i wish you all the best!! 💙💙💙

[matcheadz]

Host of Seraphim Crumbs

Since I’m at the butt end of a 56 hour 4 day week and sleep deprived and not posting anywhere, let me drop some Host of Seraphim random facts.

Host of Seraphim is the name of a song that is very personal to me. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s mine.

The title is also *obviously* very important to the story. But it’s also an important phrase spoken by someone crucial to the plot. If you are one of two people who I know theory craft a little bit, theory craft on that. Bitch (/af)

Transfer, as I’ve named it, is actually based on a concept called Sending established in an old 80s sci-fi fantasy series I was obsessed with as a kid. Sending is a special connection between a dragon and the person who raised it where they can read each other’s thoughts through the sharing of blood. Blood plays a very important role in the series, but it’s basically used like this:

Dragons are born maybe 5/50 eggs, and a dedicated trainer will be present for the hatching so that they can form a connection with the new hatchlings. The newborns will peck at their fingers and inadvertently consume the blood of the trainer, allowing a connection to form that will last their entire life. Some dragons are intelligent enough for word speech, some can only Send colors or images. For whatever reason, dragons understand Shakespearean theater English better, and thus I developed a love for the word “thus” at a young age.

I modified Sending and combined it with my own personal unfounded beliefs in blood memory. Kind of Assasin’s Creed-esque, blood contains your memories but also the memories of your ancestors. It chooses to manifest itself in different ways. Not, like, ACTUAL memory like Assasins Creed, but like… you remember the thoughts of your ancestors in the way you look or act or love things.

For example, Nelo Angelo kind of looks like a fucked up Sparda. That could be just genes, but that’s also what I mean. Nero’s adorable love for Kyrie is an expression of Sparda’s love for his wife. Eva probably once felt the twins kicking violently and called them little spitfires. And thus it manifested. Sparda probably was really excited to have a kid to share his heritage with and spoke that aloud to Eva. Speaking something aloud has a lot of power in magick, and Eva would know that.

Also, angels do not exist.

[notebookmusical]

Hi Cossette! I just caught up with Laufey's announcement about her upcoming album and I really enjoy the single From The Start!! Her debut album is one of my top releases from last year and I'm excited to hear what she comes up with this year :D I love the organic quality in Laufey's music and you're absolutely right - it would be an excellent music to listen on vinyl 💖

I've got around listening to First Two Pages of Frankenstein and really enjoyed it! I really enjoy The Alcott, Once Upon A Poolside, and Ice Machines, but This Isn't Helping is also growing on me 💖 The National's guest appearance tracks in this album are really good!! On a sidenote, I'm looking forward to listening to the new Sufjan Stevens album this Friday!

Speaking of Phoebe Bridgers, her songs (and collabs) are growing on me: they're very emotionally resonating and heartfelt! She's also featuring in one of the tracks (titled Pegasus) from Arlo Parks' upcoming album My Soft Machine!! What are your favourite songs that features Phoebe Bridgers?

P.S. An ahhh I'm really thrilled that Speak Now (Taylor's Version) is coming this July!!! I was certainly expecting given the Easter Eggs in her recent music videos but I'm delighted that we now have the release date :D

hello jennifer!!! 🤍 i'm so so excited for laufey's new album (and especially to listen to it on vinyl) — i haven't had a chance to listen to from the start yet, but i just loaded it onto my phone to listen to later! the alcott and this isn't helping are my two favorite songs from first two pages of frankenstein, but i'm definitely biased because i love taylor and phoebe's voices so much! i've been listening to the national lately while i read, and i've been really enjoying their music! i need to do a proper deep dive into their discography (i've really only been listening to the "essentials" playlist) one of these days! and ooh yes yes — i forgot about that one too! i'll have to remember to load it before i get on the plane! speaking of new music, the japanese house's new single comes out soon! i've been loving the tiktok snippets of sunshine baby, and i cannot wait for it! i saw some speculation that katie from muna might be involved with this album? i think they're in one of the photos amber posted on tiktok for sunshine baby, which is really cool! muna is another group i want to get into more too! i think i have to say nothing new or jesus christ god bless america 2005, but i just also really love phoebe's voice! what about you? what are your favorites? and yes!!!! i'm SO excited about speak now (taylor's version) — i'm desperately hoping that battle will be on it, and my fingers are crossed that she'll sing something speak now-y at one of the shows i'm going to! (my dream combination is something from speak now and debut). i wonder if anyone's made a compilation of all the speak now easter eggs we've got; we all know she loves her easter eggs! what are you most excited about for speak now (tv)? also, now that we know the speak now (tv) release date, it makes me wonder why maisie pushed the release of the good witch back a week — i saw someone say it might be because of gracie abrams' good riddance (deluxe), but ... !!