#very excited and frightened for next updates regardless

[desireangel]

Honey and Venom [Prologue] | Aemond Targaryen

vampire!Aemond x fem!Reader

Summary: On the brink of death and in moments of desperation, you are lead to the mysterious, fearsome Lord who resides in the century-old castle of Harrenhal, releasing people from the clutches of death in exchange for an unspoken price. Only this time, Aemond finds himself violently drawn to the sweetness of your blood and craves far more than just the debt he is owed.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: MDNI 18+ only! illness (fever, infection, fatigue, shakes), blood!! canon divergence of course, allusions to sex but not really, talk of death, not yet edited. pls lmk if I've missed anything!

Author's Note: Ahhhh, yes another self indulgent mini series!! I've always been in love with gothic fiction etc so I was super excited. This was initially meant to be a Halloween time contribution but that's peak exam szn soooo didn't happen and I actually couldn't get this idea out of my head so I had to at least get the prologue out. Also bc I need creative breaks from DC to keep up my motivation and this gives me a great outlet. Anyways, please lmk if we are interested in updates and as always lmk of your thoughts! xoxo

Masterlist

The rhythmic sway of the carriage tempted you into a peace which had been hard to find as of late. Even as you gazed upon the darkened forestry which at once yet still slowly disappeared into paths of cobblestones and walls of concrete. It was an eerie castle that had goosebumps prickling at your skin and while you barely turned your head from the pillow upon which it rested, you wondered if Oliver had noticed the sharp sense of dread that settled over the air through the gates of Harrenhal’s once great fortress. 

When Doctor Grayward had told you that there was nothing more he could do for you, Oliver had sat by your side, holding your hand tightly as if you would turn to dust and slip through his fingers should he loosen his grip. Your brother was a calm and collected man and it had pained you to see the anguish on his face  when he begged the doctor for another way to liberate you from this unknown illness. 

So with an apprehensive sigh and a mumble of your youth and potential the doctor had told you of Harrenhal’s reclusive Lord who was rumoured to bring miracles upon families, freeing those who were willing to pay the unspoken price from all kinds of deathly illnesses. It was dangerous, the doctor had warned. The townspeople both revered and were terrified of the Lord Targaryen. Cautiously, Oliver had asked why only to receive nothing more than a shrug and another sigh. 

“He will cure her of her illness. I’m beyond certain of it.”

The well of options had run dry with Doctor Grayward’s cluelessness in the face of your fever and tremors. And while you had told Oliver that it would be foolish simply to follow his word and journey days to what seemed to be the middle of nowhere for something that probably wouldn’t work, he had become desperate. 

Grasping at whatever thin hairs of hope that he could reach, Oliver had put an end to the discussion and all but dragged you to the carriage the next morning. 

Bromley, the driver of your carriage, had at first protested leading your carriage to the fortress upon Oliver’s mention of the mysterious Lord. He had removed his hat, eyes wide and frantic, shaking his head as he all but begged your brother to be dismissed. Oliver was having none of it and you felt a pang of sympathy for Bromley, whose eyes welled with tears as he picked up the reins once more.

Regardless, Bromley refused to go any further than the Estate gates, stepping down from his ledge and telling Oliver that there was no salary that he could pay him which would convince him to choose death over unemployment. 

There was a sudden drop in the temperature as you stepped down from the carriage on shaky legs, telling Oliver not to be ridiculous and let the poor man be. He was clearly very distressed and something within these lands frightened him into a blabbering, shaking mess. You considered for another time that this was a bad idea.

Oliver had let you hold onto him to stay upright, all but dragging you to the entrance of the Estate as you struggled to find the strength to hold yourself on your feet, your breath snatched from your chest at the slightest movement. A grand arch framed the doorway made of blackened stone, carved intricately to points and perfected angles. It was an ominous architecture, which you would have admired had it been day time and the shadows of the night didn’t cast a horrific feeling of dread in your bones. That dread became one with the intense fire that burned your skin from your fever and you gasped, pulling whatever air you could into your aching chest.  

You thought about Bromley when Oliver reached for the large, stone door-knocker that was carved as a circled snake. Had he really believed he would find death here? Why?

Welcome gusts of wind blew against your face when the door started to open inwards before Oliver had the chance to knock. The door groaned loudly, similarly to how you imagined wailing angels to sound. Just as Oliver hastily adjusted his grip on you, you first noticed the pin straight silver hair of the tall, lean man who stood in the entrance way and gazed directly at you with a single violet eye. 

He was devastating. With a solemn glow of an unfamiliar beauty under his skin that enhanced the sharp contours of his face and the red of his lips, his presence was overwhelming even as he stood silently and simply observed. Brutal calm was all that you could decipher from his expression but there was a deeper, far more intense darkness in his eye that spoke of something unrestrained and feral, passionate and destructive. 

Aemond Targaryen was both captivating and lethal. The moonlight was much of a blessing, you managed to notice even in your disoriented state of mind, as it cast a perfect light over him in a way that made him seem angelic. 

The first thing he had noticed was that you carried little else aside from a small rucksack loosely hanging from Oliver’s fingers, which was only a breeze away from falling to the floor, and the sack that was tucked against your stomach. Dusty red linen covered your body, loosely as if the dress were tailored incorrectly, dirty and torn at the edges. 

Surprisingly underwhelming for the raging storm that you had set upon Aemond’s mind and his senses, the moment you had been close enough for him to feel you. 

Somewhere close by the gates, when you had stepped from the confines of your carriage, the enchanting, mesmerising scent of you had hit Aemond with such force that he had to catch himself against a wall. A primal, crushing temptation had dried his throat and overpowered his mind for the time it had taken for Oliver to all but carried you to his doorstep. Without the chance to stop and calm the storm of a million untameable urges, Aemond had raced down from his study in a matter of seconds, stilling completely at the small sight in front of him. 

Your blood smelled so strongly, Aemond briefly found coherence in his mind to wonder if you were cut anywhere. 

Sweet. So, so sweet. And a punchy bitterness of an illness within your lungs, he presumed, from the rattle he could hear with each strenuous inhale. 

Aemond hummed, his fingers twitching against the wood of the door in restraint, trying to get a grip on the thrum of need and desire that scorched him. His tongue ran loosely across the sharp points of his canines once before he clenched his jaw and stared at you expectantly. 

It was no unfamiliar sight. Townspeople from all across the realm would find themselves at Harrenhal, balancing on the final string on the brink of snapping, reeking of illness and death. Yet Aemond, despite his efforts to remain stoic, fought hard to compose himself so that he wouldn’t bury his fangs into your tempting neck and suck you dry. 

Infection of the lungs would not be likely to have spread to your blood at this stage, but Aemond took no risks. Even more so when he was already weakened by the way your pretty eyes unravelled him violently despite the lethargy he could see in them. 

The last time Aemond had felt a hunger and a thirst so intense and so violent, it had resulted in the destruction of a town what must have been hundreds of years ago.  

Oliver had been speaking. Aemond didn’t care to listen. 

Instead he stepped out of the entrance, coming so close that he could practically already taste you on his tongue, the spike in your heartbeat at his sudden proximity sending a thrill down his spine. He reached to take your arm from Oliver to help you inside, jaw clenching harshly at the first touch of his hand under your bicep, revelling in the way you squirmed away from him with a whine. 

Good, Aemond thought. You have every reason to be afraid of something like him.

When Oliver jerked you away, Aemond growled. “Give her to me. I can help her.”

“I can bring my sister inside myself, my Lord,” Oliver only held you tighter against him. “I will stay with her. And as I said before, we can discuss payment.”

“You will not,” Aemond dropped his voice, narrowing his eye and reaching once more for your arm. You didn’t have the strength to keep yourself up as it was and so when he pulled you into his chest, with such strength that Oliver had all but fallen to the Lord’s feet, you collapsed right into his arms. “You will leave her with me. Ask no questions and do not return for seven nights. I will take a vial of your blood as payment. Bring it when you return and do not speak a word of it to anyone. I will bind you to your promise using your blood. You will not be able to break it. Should you find a way, I will know and she will suffer a death far worse than what she already faces. Do you understand?”

Another whine fell from your lips. A pretty sound that had a wave of heat rushing to Aemond’s cock at the weak, hopeless fear that he could both hear and smell on you. 

You looked to Oliver, suddenly far too exhausted even to find your voice, watching as he hesitated. The Lord Targaryen, who was both beautiful and terrifying, only waited with an ominous stillness. While his body held no warmth, he left a burn on your skin where he held you, trembling under his touch despite the way your body effortlessly fit perfectly against his own. 

Oliver nodded slowly and apprehensively. “That is all the payment you require?”

“No. But only your sister here-” Aemond silenced Oliver’s protests as soon as they started. “Only your sister can satisfy the rest of my payment. Do not worry, I will keep her safe so long as you do as I say.”

There was an oddly calming reassurance in the way the Lord spoke. You watched Oliver relax visibly at his words, as you did too, taking the mysterious Lord’s reassurance with an ease that silenced all of the doubts in your mind. Your eyelids drooped as the last of your energy drifted away, your mind growing foggy with exhaustion that only worsened your condition. 

The arm that held you reached around so that he had his hands free but still kept you caged against him, pulling you tighter into the Lord’s hard body. All that you could understand was the feeling of him surrounding you as you drifted slowly towards unconsciousness and delirium, your condition becoming too much to bear as it usually did at this hour. 

All the questions and fears you had disappeared, and you barely noticed as Aemond held you with one arm, reaching towards Oliver with the other. He brought your brother’s wrist to his lips, biting into his skin after flashing him a purposeful grin that had his long canines glinting under the moonlight. The underside of his eye darkened as he sucked, long lines of darkened black veins littering the top of his cheekbone.

Oliver’s eyes widened and he instantly started thrashing, fighting against the Lord’s hold and failing. “Monster! I will not leave my sister with you. Wait, no–!”

Aemond pulled away, letting your brother’s wrist bleed as he licked his lips that shone crimson, and sliced his own palm, holding it out and collecting both his own blood and Olivers in his hand. He forced it against Oliver’s lips, threatening him to lick and swallow the mixture of their blood, ignoring the way Oliver gagged and fought. “It is done.”

The sleep that came over you was short lived, and you gasped, coughing as you heard the heavy door slam behind you. You were inside suddenly, the loud thumping of Oliver’s fist against the door and his yelling became muted. A sharp, staggering fear gripped at your throat and stabbed at your belly and you let out a pathetic yell, your body failing to just move. Grunting, you tried to lose the haze that had overcome you, unable to find the strength even to lift your hand to reach towards the entrance.  “Don’t be scared, my sweet,” Aemond chuckled deeply, his mouth watering as he held you against him. He pressed his face into the crevice of your neck, inhaling deeply and groaning gently, squeezing the flesh of your hips with his hands. Gods, he could devour you. “I’ll take good care of you. You will have your strength back very soon.”

[lyndonriggall]

33

In Sydney at Van Gogh Alive. Photo by Georgie Todman.

Yesterday, on the 30th of January, I returned to school for another year. While it seems reasonable to consider the 1st of January as the day upon which everything “ticks over,” as I pick-up the baton for another round of teaching it is this moment that really feels like the fresh start, accompanied, of course, by the reality of growing another year older.

I am thirty-three now. How quickly we start to reach an age that we once thought was impossibly distant. 2022 has been a whirlwind of adventures and runs, teaching and reading, foster care and festivals. I am flat out all the time these days, but I am flat out with everything that makes me happy. As I awaken from a holiday of hibernation and dialing life back, it is exciting for my eyes to burst open in the morning with this swirling thought behind them: there are so many good things I need to do.

Some new challenges face me this year. My co-president Georgie Todman and I have taken on the role of coordinating the Tamar Valley Writers Festival, following the incredible legacy of previous president Mary Machen. Alongside classes, I have a new role facilitating an updated English course and helping to promote reading and the library at my school. I am currently undergoing an Arts Tasmania mentorship with the assistance of the Australian Society of Authors and my mentor, Tasmanian writer Mark Macleod, to continue working on the development of my novel Wombat Overland, and I have some personal goals of my own to chase: I am flat out on the treadmill at the moment trying to get my 5km time to under twenty minutes, and I am hoping to repeat one of my achievements of 2022 and read a hundred books this year (at sixteen so far I think I'm off to a good start!). Those are just the things that I know are coming. If this year is to be anything like the ones that have come before, I have no doubt that there are just as many surprises ahead as well.

So far, even in a school of 1400 students and ninety staff, I have managed to dodge Covid for nearly three years. Nevertheless, my life as a 33-year-old enters strange new realms regardless. Artificial Intelligence has reached a level of sophistication that I suspect will change our lives enormously, and teaching will have to be one of the first areas to adapt, with the implications for writers similarly frightening. The world of the next couple of years will look very different. It's exciting, but it's scary, too.

I concluded my holidays with an interstate trip accompanied by family and friends, zipping over to Sydney to see Michael Sheen at the Opera House in a spectacular performance of Amadeus, then to Melbourne for escape rooms and a re-watch of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (we had to make sure nothing too drastic had changed in the shorter version). The teenagers that accompanied us surprised me by echoing my own feelings (which I had always felt were probably mine alone) about how disorientating the big city is for people like us who are so used to our small island. We reflected on how much sadness there is on the faces that pass by, how it can make a person feel so very very small. Starting a new year sometimes feels like that: like there is a tide against you, and that it will become too much, and that there is so much hurt in the world that it is hardly a drop in the ocean to offer a small amount of kindness, or to feel awe, or to achieve something.

Oh, I am getting older. My body doesn’t feel it much yet, but it is undeniable. I am more aware with every day how small I am and how the power of my celebrated youth is fading. Nevertheless, I believe I still have a lot to offer. I am here to do what all of us must do: believe that tiny stones create enormous ripples, and that it is our job to help try to cure the curse of loneliness with our actions and our art, clinging to each other in the crowd like survivors in a life raft. As I reach this new beginning, at 33, I am sure you will be pleased to know that I am happy. I am small, certainly, but I am here, and I am glad to be. I write this blog with a cup of coffee, on my birthday, looking out over the city as the streets begin to fill with people and another day—another year—begins.

The world is waking to greet me. The world is waking to greet all of us.

I can’t wait to see what it has in store.

[ixchel-anima]

* OPM MANGA AND WEBCOMIC SPOILERS *

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... I know it's a ways off story wise and not the greatest concern either way, but I am wondering now as Zombieman didn't witness the serious table flip if he'll make the same decision to try and break his limiter as in the webcomic

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[fearsmagazine]

SETTLERS - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: IFC Midnight

SYNOPSIS: On a remote homestead amongst the Martian frontier, a refugee family from Earth clings to hope for a better life. But when strangers appear in the surrounding hills and attempt to run them off, nine-year-old Remmy is faced with the desperate reality her mother and father have tried so hard to keep from her.

REVIEW: SETTLERS is a hybrid of a science fiction movie with classic western plot devices. There are very few original films that did it well, and only “Outland (‘’81),” “Prospect (‘18)” and “Silent Running (‘72)” realized their goals in blending both genres successfully. For all the tech and hardware, a good science fiction film allows the viewer to examine the human condition in a new light. SETTLERS is one of those films.

Wyatt Rockefeller’s screenplay is a complex character driven narrative. He does an excellent job of introducing each one and slowly peels back their layers so we come to know them, understand them. They are an unlikely group who are brought together for a simple reason, but the frightening larger consequences he hints at, leaving our imagination to dwell on it. At the core of the story is Remmy, a child who has never known earth and is raised on stories about the home planet of her parents. Even though she has been raised in this harsh environment she still has a child’s sense of curiosity and wonder. The adults in the tale are presented as desperate survivors. However, the character of Jerry holds the knowledge and expertise to possibly this lost homestead. This small island of hope is housed under a dome that keeps it secluded from the rest of the planet. Given the heaviness of the story, Rockefeller injects a bit of comic relief with the inclusion of a simple robot that is capable of presenting a limited, but effective, range of emotions.

As the viewer watches this tragedy unfold you can’t help but feel the connection to several issues we are facing today. They run the gambit of social, political, and environmental. Much like a child, Rockefeller never tips his hand to give us any explanation as to why some of the adults do what they do. What he does offer only feels like it is scratching the surface. There are many elephants in this story. The filmmaker offers the viewer little emotional release. Even the film’s ending is optimistic, but given things we’ve heard in the story it is certainly not hopeful. There are elements of the story that feel reminiscent of the 1961 “The Twilight Zone” episode “Two,” which was written and directed by Montgomery Pittman, starring Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery. For it being his first feature film, Rockefeller shows he has the talent to have worked alongside any of the writers of that classic series.

Rockefeller and his collaborators did an excellent job of creating the indoor and outdoor environments, and the rest of the area under this dome. You believe they are on mars. Granted they are in a desert, but there were no signs of any other life, except for the plants, in this landscape. I enjoyed the camera work and the editing, especially when it came to taking the viewer from a distant point and slowly brought us into the scene. The location and set dressing looked authentic to a you think an intergalactic settlement might look. They did an amazing job of setting the stage and creating the atmosphere, which they sustain throughout, so the viewer maintains their engagement in the drama.

I loved the performances. Young actress Brooklynn Prince has moments where she is delightful and powerful as she goes through this emotional character arch. All through her struggles she maintains an element of innocence that feels so organic. Actor Ismael Cruz Córdova is a powerhouse of emotions and intensity. You feel that he has a modicum of happiness in moments but there is this lingering tension and anxiety brewing just below the surface. You feel his sincerity of trying to make something good from the situation he is in. Sofia Boutella delivers this heart wrenching performance of a mother being torn apart by these conflicting emotions, rendering many of the character’s actions surprising, shocking, but never something we feel is outside the character’s motivations.

Subtly adding to the film’s complex emotional palette and the atmosphere is a great score by Nitin Sawhney. It is not a constant score throughout, but is nicely woven into the film.

Wyatt Rockefeller’s feature film debut SETTLERS is an impressive orchestration of story, visuals and performances. It is a compelling story that nicely blends the science fiction elements with the tragedy to create a timeless character study of survival in a harsh environment. With Mars looming as the potential new frontier, regardless of all our technical advances Rockefeller’s film presents a cautionary tale of what could happen if we fail to update the human condition before we venture forth. I am totally excited to she what he does with his next film.

CAST: Sofia Boutella, Ismael Cruz Córdova, Brooklynn Prince, Nell Tiger Free, and Jonny Lee Miller CREW: Director/Screenplay - Wyatt Rockefeller; Producers - Julie Fabrizio, Joshua Horsfield & Johan Kruger; Cinematographer - Willie Nel; Score - Nitin Sawhney; Editor - Johnny Daukes; ; Production Designer - Noam Piper; Costume Designer - Dihantus Engelbrecht; Robot & Special Effects - Millennium FX; Visual Effects - Mark Myburgh. OFFICIAL: N.A. FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/jeCcJCy0HzM RELEASE DATE: IN Theaters and On Demand Friday, July 23rd, 2021

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay),  or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[adventuresloane]

The Wanted (Revised Hurloane Fic) -- Ch. 4

“They had nearly as many names as they had stories told about them. Ram. Raven. Red. Devil. Deputy. Outlaw. Short ‘n Long. Ghosts of the Rapids.”

Hurley’s a bounty hunter, the Raven is an outlaw, and the desert is a lonely place.

(The 50k+ Old West Hurloane AU Where Hurley Becomes A Thief Too that no one asked for. Updates every Friday. Edited and reposted from an old version of the story–more significant changes to come in later chapters. T for non-graphic violence and discussions of death/injury/trauma.)

Read on AO3

Other Chapters

"Absolutely no way."

"Oh, yes."

"Nope. Nope. You can't possibly hit that thing."

"Bet you anything I can."

Sloane snickered. "I'll take that bet. That bird is at well over a hundred meters away, faster than shit, and you're going at it with a goddamn revolver instead of a proper hunting rifle. Not possible." 

"Shh, don't let it hear you." Their heart pounded against the ground like a closed fist as they lay flat on their belly, fixed on the roadrunner. Without thinking about it, they did what they always did, tilting the gun up an inch for every twenty meters. Just like hitting clay. They aimed for the question mark-shaped neck. Next to them, Sloane, meanwhile, had rolled onto her back with her hand flopped lazily over her stomach. Her neck was arched all the way back to look at the bird with a droll grin. She was looking at the thing upside-down. What did she know anyway?

"It's not gonna hear shit from this distance, which is, I'll remind you, very fucking far," she said. 

"It could! You don't know!"

"You manage to hit that thing, I'll eat my ha--"

They shot, and the bird dropped with nary a squawk.

Hurley popped up from the ground. First they smiled at the still dark lump on the ground very fucking far in front of them, then, without changing their expression, turned to a gaping Sloane. When she glanced their way, they raised their eyebrows and swung their revolver by the trigger guard, back and forth, on one finger. Admittedly, they made a show of milking it. 

She snapped her mouth shut and narrowed her eyes. Then, without so much as a sigh, she removed her hat, walked over towards the unlit fire pit, held it for a moment over the skillet sitting nearby, and, with a certain solemnity, dropped it. 

They laughed. She didn't, but she smiled in this particular way they had come to recognize, where she wrinkled her nose, as though it were a grin repurposed from a failed sneer.

"I'll go grab the bird," they said.

She watched them the whole time they were walking back. When they got close enough, they could see the studying glint in her eye, her head cocked. 

"Hey," she said. A second later, she tossed an empty can into the air. They drew and picked it off, hearing the satisfying tang as the bullet connected. 

They took a moment to watch it fall to earth, diverted from its original course, before looking back at her. "Whoo!" They pumped their fists in the air, despite the fact that a carcass still swung from one. 

She chuckled. "Damn." Holding her hand out toward the bird, she said, "Give me that." When they handed it over, she started plucking the feathers. 

"You don't have to do that."

"It's fine. You ever had roadrunner before?"

"Nope. Have you?"

"Oh, a few times. It's alright."

"So you've shot them before!" They sat beside her cross-legged to watch her work. "Why were you giving me shit about it just now?"

"No, I've only trapped them. Just a few times, when I'm away from any towns for a good long while."

"Isn't that harder?"

"Yes, which is why you should be impressed." She glanced at them, then went on, "Also, I'm a terrible shot. Things look blurry to me when they're at that distance away, so there wasn't much point in learning." 

"Really?" As her words sank in, they felt their previous excitement congeal in them like a blood clot, stopping them up. They wondered if she might be lying, but they weren't good at spotting that kind of thing in anyone, least of all her. She had not tensed or looked away as she had spoken, at least that they had seen. She just kept pulling the feathers. Anyway, it would have made for an odd thing to lie about in this moment. 

The number 113 flashed through Hurley's head over and over. Abernathy had been shot from 113 meters away, the distance from the door of the bank to the general store's porch. Her bad sight and the clean gun and the fact that--they could tell--she hadn't thought to shoot when she had gotten caught. Her reaction to simply hitting Hurley in the nose. Would the law know all that? Would it care? It wasn't what one would call hard evidence, certainly nothing capable of proving her innocence, but it didn't add up. What did it mean to bring her back to a Goldcliff unaware of such things?

They didn't ask all that. Instead, they pushed past the stewing in their guts to ask, "Are you often out here for a long time?"

She shrugged. "Depends. Sometimes I have a harder time getting some sheriff off my trail, and I have to hide out here a little longer before I go back to a town. I can be here for a few weeks without much of a problem." She cocked her brow at them and jabbed, "When I'm prepared."

They flicked a spot of dried mud from their boot. "That sounds lonely," they said in the most neutral way they could, which was probably not very.

She snorted. "No. The quiet's nice out here."

Hurley looked around. "I think I agree. It's funny. I didn't like that about it when I first got out here, but being in a place that's sort of...stuck out of time, that's a nice distance to have."

"You can disappear, yeah." She passed the featherless carcass to them, and they began to slice its belly.

"I wouldn't want it all the time, though. Eventually I think I'd want someone around."

"I don't like answering to anybody."

"I'm aware of that," they said with a grin. 

"Well, do you? 'Cause you seem like you'd rather be the person people answer to."

"Do I?" They paused when their knife was partway through the thin, shining muscle under the skin as they held the bird over the dead charcoals. The blood rose up out of it and dribbled onto the ashes, so that it would be soaked up. "I don't think it has to be about answering to anyone. You can just be with people."

"Where'd you learn to shoot?"

"Well, when I was young, maybe seven or eight, my mother--"

"Oh, gods."

"Hey, do you want to know or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's just I should've known you'd make it something sentimental." She gave them a flippant wave while still looking down at the roadrunner. Hurley chose to be optimistic and assume that was her version of a joke. "Go on."

They huffed. “Well, I’ll make it quick for both our sakes, I guess. I was gonna say that my mother always told me I thought with my belly.”

“Huh. Rude.”

“No, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant I listen to my gut before anyone else, including her, or my own brain. Like how I’d go running out the door in my underwear to frighten off the foxes if I thought I heard them near the chickens. I was maybe three when I did this, I should mention.”

“Oh, wonderful.”

“Anyway, finally Mom decided that if I was going to keep running into things without thinking about them, I might as well figure out how to protect myself while I did it. I started off with a slingshot when I was maybe seven, but I wanted a gun before long. She managed to put off giving me one until I was, oh, twelve or so.”

Sloane chuckled. “Very irresponsible. I love it.”

“Hey, at least she found someone to teach me before she let me lay my hands on the thing myself. I’ve been practicing ever since.”

“I can tell.”

“Yeah.” 

It was some time before either of them spoke again. Several times, Hurley took in a big breath to speak, held it and let it grow hot and tight inside their chest, and then let it all out. The sun had melted into a band of fading yellow on the horizon. 

Finally, they said, “Hey, let me switch out your shackles.”

They went to chain her ankles so that they could remove the irons around her wrist, but she rolled out of the way at the last second, flopping onto her back. “Nah, don’t feel like it,” she answered, playing up the lazy tone. 

Hurley snorted. “Don’t be an ass, come on.”

This time, she flipped over onto her belly, still skirting just out of reach. Her head was in her hands as she fixed them with a playful grin. “You gotta catch me first if you want to do that, Red. I thought you were good at that.”

They stared her down and made a point of being unsmiling. “Sloane, it’s got to happen eventually anyway.

The smile slid from her face fast. She cast her eyes down to the ground. When she finally let them approach, it was while she was turned away from them and looking out to the fading light. She had closed. 

Over the nearly three weeks that they had been on their own together, this was what Hurley had come to dread far more than the dark of the nights and the heat of the days. It was the feeling of collapse, of having to knock down something that they had built up themself. Because they could almost pretend, before they remembered the chains again. It seemed, sometimes, that she almost forgot them as well. 

They had been sleeping closer together lately. On a particularly cold night, Sloane had even conceded to being under the same blanket with them, so long as Hurley kept their hands curled up against their chest. But it wouldn’t be tonight, regardless of how much either of them shivered.

[sonicringbond]

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 24

And it’s finally Saturday! That means we have a new update for the story. A little more action in this scene than some of the prior ones, and also a bit more story seeding. Somewhere buried deep in the background I do have an actual plot and this scene will hint at it yet a little bit more. But instead of me talk about it, enjoy for yourself...

    ~I was right about the mountains being perfect for running. Hidden crags and land bridges where Rings gathered and waited to be collected were everywhere. Places where I could run loop-de-loops if I so desired and winding caves both small and massive. Of course, with Draw on my back I couldn’t enjoy it at all. It’s almost been that way the whole time out here.

    ~But I can’t complain.

    ~Like me, someone else out here is having it hard so I just need to get to them as fast as I can. Ooh~! It’d be so much easier if I was running on my own, or not. Having Draw hold a Ring in front of me so I can dowse their location is a big help while running at these speeds.~

    “I-I-I don-don’t see, h-how th-this i-is h-helping!” Draw fought to say as Rosy’s incredible speeds left him bobbing and desperately trying not to be scratched up by Rosy’s spines. Holding the Ring he could not even hold on tightly for dear life. As he had no real perspective of how fast Rosy could get, it would have shocked him that she was not even running at half of the top speed she could manage without having to fight her clumsiness.

    “Well, I got the call for help after giving my cards a Ring so it makes sense to use a Ring to find them,” Rosy tried to explain, but she was skipping across falling stalactites in one particular cave before bursting back out on the mountain side meadows and could not dedicate more time to Draw than that.

    How far they ran was difficult to tell as Rosy’s path was anything but straight, and several clouds had obscured their surroundings on more than one occasion. One far larger cloudbank became as a fog, crackling with electricity and Draw could feel his hair stand on end. The phenomenon would have simply excited Rosy instead if she were not in such a hurry, but traveling well below the speed of sound her ears picked up another reason to be wary.

    “Now what?” Draw asked as Rosy came to a stop and let him off her back. Unsteadily trying to find his footing he offered Rosy no resistance as she took the Ring he held in both of her hands.

    “Quiet please Draw,” Rosy asked as she closed her eyes and focused on the Ring and her surroundings.

    Doing as she said, Draw also imitated her twitching ears and turned his to his fog hidden surroundings. Beyond the crackling of electricity tearing through the air, he could hear machinery somewhere not far off.

    “I wonder what type of machines those are?” Draw queried as he turned in the direction he believed they were coming from. “They don’t sound very large…”

    “Let’s go find out,” Rosy suggested with a smile as she let the Ring vanish into her body. “Whoever needs our help should be over that way too. Maybe they just got stuck and need a hand.”

    “Or worse since they’re about to meet you,” Draw joked and earned a pout from Rosy.

    “Ooh~! You really are so mean sometimes Draw!”

    ~I know he didn’t mean any harm by it. He was just having a little fun. But still.

    ~Regardless we did not linger in the fog and with Draw on my back again we hurried ahead to see what awaited us. It was not what I was expecting, but it wasn’t far off either. Machines the size of what we were hearing, I had too many encounters with mean ones before.~

    Bursting out of a cloud bank Rosy and Draw were afforded view of another beautiful mountain meadow on the side of a mountain. But the bleating of frightened sheep and the clanging of steam powered machinery made for a cacophonic discrepancy to the scene’s beauty.

    “What are those!”

    Pointing as best he could, Draw attempted to bring Rosy’s eyes to the source of the mechanical ruckus and fear of the sheep. Seeing a plethora of two-legged and four-legged brass machines that resembled clockwork imitations of the stone golems throughout the land, Rosy whined out her response.

    “Robots! Why are there robots here!”

    “Robots? Draw asked and looked at Rosy curiously. “You mean like automata?”

    “But they look like golems too~! So maybe they’re robo-golems!”

    “I think autogolem makes more sense,” Draw countered. “Either way, they’re golems so put me down so I can get to work.”

    “Wha–?” Rosy looked back confused.

    Draw was already attempting to break free and Rosy scrambled to an awkward stop and slid on her face through the grass. Whining as she sat up on her knees, she saw Draw was already drawing back a notched arrow.

    “Draw, wait! Do you even know where to shoot?”

    “It should be fine,” Draw assured Rosy and eyed the forehead of an autogolem on the far side of the grouping. “If they’re golems it shouldn’t matter.”

    *Thwip*

    Draw’s arrow flew nearly true, a rising wind taking it off course and past the framework of one autogolem into its inner gears and cogs. The automaton locked up for a moment and jerked about violently before the wood shaft was crushed by the gears and the stone head fell away. Looking down at the arrow for a moment, the autogolem soon lifted its head up to see where it came from.

    Spotting Rosy and Draw, its glowing green eyes flared red for a long moment and soon all the autogolems stopped what they were doing to turn and look at the two travelers.

    “I think you made it angry,” Rosy nervously laughed while poking at her mouth.

    “It would have been fine if the wind didn’t pick up just then,” Draw dismissed the growing threat that was starting to approach them. In fact, he began to walk towards them. “I just need to get closer. Or use an explosive arrow. That old tower had the supplies to make some more.”

    “Eh?” Rosy gasped in questioning panic. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Draw! If you fire one of those–”

    “Don’t worry,” Draw smiled confidently at Rosy, “you can outrun my arrows, can’t you?”

    “What~!” Rosy exclaimed loudly but didn’t trust Draw’s smile and bolted for the golems

    Building speed, she leapt up into the air and curled into a tight ball. Compared to when Draw’s arrow struck them, Rosy was a force of wanton destruction and bits of shredded metal and clockwork flew every as she collided with the autogolems.

    Uncurling and skidding to a stop, Rosy looked around desperately for signs of anyone who had been trapped by the machines. She did not see anyone, and the sudden explosion from Draw’s next arrow made it even more difficult.

    “Draw~!”

    Whining out in frustration was not going to help, and Rosy forced herself to quickly bash and pull apart as many autogolems as she could to slow Draw’s next shot. As she scrambled about trying to do what Sonic made look so easy, she also kept her eyes open for signs of the errant victim who had called for help. Even with the autogolems falling quickly, Rosy could not see any sign of someone in danger. ‘Yet these mean old robots looked like they were picking on someone.’

    Soon, the last autogolem fell and Rosy was joined by Draw in the devastation they left. Draw wore a satisfied expression but Rosy had puffed up her cheeks to the point that her face was red and her eyes were watering.

    “What’s wrong now you weirdo girl?”

    “Stop calling me names!” Rosy snapped. “That was really dangerous and we both could have gotten hurt!”

    “I thought Rings kept you safe?”

    “They do,” Rosy confirmed, and would have offered a counterpoint but trailed off wordless as her anger subsided. There was no sign of anyone in need of rescuing and Rosy knew Draw would argue if she mentioned that the victim could have gotten hurt. “Oh phooey!”

    Kicking a dismantled autogolem body away, Rosy huffed about looking for any signs of a person being present. She already knew there was no one, and her curiosity was defusing her bad mood faster than her feet carried her. Eventually she just had to ask. “I wonder what was powering them. I didn’t see any gems like the normal golems. Maybe it was Rings?”

    “That would mean we just broke a bunch of stuff of the Engineers,” Draw mused teasingly. “First we ran off and now we wrecked their stuff. I guess that makes us enemies now.”

    “What! No! I’m sure they’ll understand if I explain everything.”

    “But will they believe you? Fortune tellers aren’t known for being reliable.”

    “My cards never lie to me! Someone needed help! And I’m sure… I’m sure we helped them.”

    Confident as Rosy tried to be, she slumped down to her knees. She knew someone was calling for help. She knew her dowsing was not wrong either. This was where she was supposed to be.

    “Maybe I should consult–?”

    Pausing as she reached for her shoulder puff, Rosy noticed an odd brass sphere on the ground amid the wreckage. Reaching down she picked it up and studied it for a moment. It was nothing particularly special, but there were odd patterns engraved into. It made Rosy think of, “…a seal?”

    With a twist of her wrists Rosy popped open the sphere at its center and light like the color of Rings emerged from within.

    ~But it wasn’t Rings that powered the robot golems. I wasn’t really sure what it was. It had a teardrop shaped head with a ball of some kind floating above the tip. Really, all it was was a head that was small enough to look lonely in my palm with pretty gossamer wings that didn’t seem connected to it either. Yet it flew and looked at me with large eyes, glowing a color that matched its body and Rings. I hadn’t known it at the time, but that was my first ever encounter with a fairy.~

Scene 24 · CLEARED A Tiny Voice, End

-----

And there we go, another scene and week wrapped up. And yup, that is a Sonic and the Black Knight fairy. I had debated for a while if I was going to use them or not, but things have gone in a direction that allows for it so I’ve added one to the story. The next scene will be focusing more on how it ties into our little traveling party and being more character focused than anything.

I hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to the next scene! Thank you everyone!

-----

Special Thanks to Cutegirlmayra Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Inspiring Song – What Makes the Sky Blue – Tsutomu Narita – Granblu Fantasy Original Soundtrack: Promise

Fair Use Disclaimer

Sonic the Hedgehog and all affiliated characters and logos are the express property and Copyright© of SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS used without permission under Title 17 U.S.C Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976 in which allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. “Fair use” is use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be considered copyright infringement. The Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey alternate universe (AU) consumer written work of fiction is a non-profit transformative work primarily for personal use and can and will be taken down without warning or prior notice at the request of the copyright holder(s) should it not be recognized under “fair use”.

*Sonic Ring Bond logo created by DEE Art – twitter.com/daryliscute.

Sonic Ring Bond AU and Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey are the creation of Joshua David Tarwater/ynymbus/sonicfanj/@Joshtarwater and is to be, including all contents herein considered for all legal purposes the property of the Sonic the Hedgehog intellectual property (IP) and copyright owners, SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS. All story contributors via prompt, suggestion, written scene, art, and all and every other contribution acknowledge that all contributed material is forfeit for legal purposes to SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS upon official request from SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS.

[yoshichao]

the Smashers and their Host Ch11 Preview

[Read from the beginning here: x | Read the spin-off fic: x]

[It has been OVER A YEAR since I updated this fanfic, and I am so sorry! To make up for the wait, I'd like to offer y'all a sneak peak at what I have done so far - which is over 13,000 words of content. I wrote it a bit out of order so there are gaps, which will be marked by these square brackets where I discuss what is supposed to go in those gaps. Also please excuse the lack of bolding/italicizing, that stuff all got removed in a transfer haha. If you’re new and have never read this fanfic before, you can click the links at the top to get caught up! Regardless, I hope you enjoy!]

A few days later, two new Smashers arrive at once. You somehow are outside at the exact moment they run into each other.

“Oh, I remember you!” Roy gives the white-haired swordswoman a grin once he’s recognized her. “You were one of the surprise fighters at the end of the final tournament, right?”

“Um, yes, I suppose I was…”

“Aw, don’t be embarrassed! I was invited late into the tournament season too last time. But now we’re both here from the start! Thank the gods…” That last part is mumbled, and you get the impression that Roy may have been worried about getting cut again. You don’t blame him.

The woman makes a sound of acknowledgement before finally speaking up with a somewhat forced smile: “Let’s both do our best then, shall we?”

“Yeah! Of course!” Bags in tow, Roy turns to approach the front door of the mansion. When he spots you standing there (eavesdropping like a creep), his eyes widen into saucers and he gasps. “Ah!! Somebody new??”

Oh geez, not this again. You quickly intervene and introduce yourself and your role in the tournament. Roy lets out a little laugh in relief.

“Ohh, so you’re just the host! That’s good, I was worried…” What? What was he worried about?? You don’t get to ask, and he doesn’t elaborate. “My name is Roy - it’s a pleasure to meet you!”

The other arrival takes a moment before they chime in with their own introduction. “O-Oh, and my name is Corrin…”

You didn’t see much of Corrin in the previous tournament, but there’s something distinctly… different about her than from what you remember. You think she has more scars, and the expression she wears is particularly somber and withdrawn. Did something happen to her recently?

You’re not even sure if she’s happy to be here.

“WHO WANTS TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER?!” Daisy bursts out the front door hootin’ and hollerin’ while Zelda follows her out casually. The Hylian princess spots Roy and gives him a smile.

“Hey, Roy. I see you made it back this year.”

“Yup. And it’s great to be back!!” Grinning he turns to Daisy. His eyes are practically sparkling. “Did someone say ‘sleepover’? I wanna join!”

“Sorry, no boys allowed. Girls and cool hosts only.” Daisy turns to Corrin, ignoring Roy’s look of dismay. “Hey stranger! Wanna join our sleepover?”

“Um…”

“Corrin, right?” Zelda gives the swordswoman a kind smile. “I assume you’ve just arrived, so I imagine you’d want to get settled in first. You don’t have to join, but the invitation is open all night - stop by anytime.”

“Th-Thank you…”

Daisy looks to you again. “Aaaand? You’re joining us too, riiiight?”

You admittedly like having the night to yourself - alone and safe in your room - but where’s the fun in that? It’s just one night. Besides, how crazy can a girls’ sleepover get? Of all the lady Smashers you’ve met, none of them have been particularly frightening or destructive. So this might actually be fun!

“Sure, I’m in. Sounds fun.”

“That’s a relief!” Daisy laughs. “Cuz, actually, we were planning on having the sleepover in your room.”

...What?

“What?? Why?”

“We assumed your room would be bigger than any of ours,” Zelda explains, and Daisy looks excited enough to start bouncing off the walls. “We’re not sure how many of us there will be, but…”

“And we can’t just have it in any old room, or else the boys might stumble upon us and listen in.” Daisy side-eyes Roy, who pouts at the insinuation. You can’t help but admit that their reasoning makes sense, but…

For some reason, you kind of feel like you’ve been tricked into agreeing to this.

“...I guess… we could use my room…” You dislike the idea of people seeing your room, being one of the last spaces you have to yourself currently, but… it’s just one night. And you won’t leave the room! You can keep people from snooping for one night.

Daisy squeals and scoops you up in a hug. Her enthusiasm and affectionate gestures do nothing to quell the anxiety you feel. “This is going to be the BEST. NIGHT. EVER!!!” She releases you. “So, where’s your room? I’ll tell everyone to meet there tonight!!”

Yikes, you don’t want people to just show up randomly! Your room is blocked off from the rest of the mansion, so you’re going to have to find somewhere to make a temporary path. “U-Uh… A-Actually, why don’t we just meet… in the lobby?? And then I can lead everyone there!”

There’s a pause. Daisy gives you an unreadable look before breaking out into another grin. “That’s a GREAT idea! It’ll keep certain people from knowing where it is!”

“Stop talking like I’m not here!” Roy complains, to which Daisy just snickers in response. You’re just relieved that you don’t have to reconstruct the mansion right now to match up with whatever directions you come up with on the spot. And along that train of thought…

“A-Also,” you start to add, “you should tell everyone to make sure they have everything they might need… It’s kind of a long walk from my room to, um, the rest of the mansion.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea. Thanks for the heads up!” You have to hold back a sigh of relief. If people aren’t entering and leaving your room, then you can reroute the hallways and keep anyone from snooping. Thankfully, Daisy doesn’t notice your little scheme. Zelda, does, however, seem to be eying you a little more intently, but just allows her companion to continue the conversation.

“Alright, I’ll go tell everyone the news and start finding snacks! Any requests?”

You shrug. “Not really. Just whatever you guys like.” Daisy looks to Corrin, who takes a moment to realize she’s supposed to say something too, and pretty much echos your response. Daisy frowns for a moment, but is quick to smile again.

“I’ll just bring a bit of everything then! See you tonight!!” And with that, she’s dashing back inside like a whirlwind of orange and chaos. The atmosphere noticeably calms once she’s gone, and a part of you misses it when the sudden silence drags out. It takes you a moment to realize that Zelda has lingered behind.

“U-Um,” you start, trying to avoid the Hyrulean’s amused gaze, “did you… need something else?”

There’s a pause, and Zelda looks like she has something she wants to say, but eventually just shakes her head. “No, it’s nothing. I’ll see you soon - and I hope you decide to join us, Corrin.” With a smile and a wave, she turns and follows Daisy back inside the mansion. Now you are left with an awkward Corrin and a groaning Roy.

“Awww man! I wanted to join you guys…” The redhead lets out a deep sigh. “It feels like it’s been forever since I hung out with the Smash gang.”

While you feel bad for him, you think you understand why he was explicitly uninvited. Aren’t sleepovers usually a “girly” thing? That’s how it is in the movies, anyways… Letting a bunch of guys join sounds like a recipe for chaos, and that is not a cake you are keen on baking.

“I’m sure there will be plenty of other opportunities for everyone to get together,” Corrin says, trying to assuage Roy’s pain. You decide to chime in as well.

“Yeah, I mean, everyone has been hanging out a lot since day one. Just the other day, we all went to the beach--” Roy’s face falls, making it clear he would have liked to join, so you quickly continue. “--a-and I’m sure everyone would like to go again, among doing other things, so… Next time everyone starts making plans for a trip, we can hang out, okay?”

His eyes light up. “Really?? You mean it?”

“Uh… yeah, of course.”

Roy cheers and does a fist pump, making you giggle at his enthusiasm. You notice Corrin crack a smile as well - it seems she’s finally starting to relax a bit.

“Hey,” Corrin begins, grabbing Roy’s attention, “if this is just um, a ‘girls’ sleepover, wouldn’t that mean the other boys are free? Maybe you could make plans with them…?”

“Ah! You’re right!!” Roy breaks into a grin and bounds towards the front door. “I’m gonna go see what everyone’s up to! I’ll see you guys later!!” And with that, he’s throwing open the door and rushing inside, reminding you somewhat of Daisy’s energy.

And then there were two.

“So, uh, are you thinking about coming?” you ask. While you’d like to start getting ready ASAP, you think it would be rude to just… go. Also, you’d like to have an idea at who and how many are coming.

Corrin hesitates, thinking. “...Do you think I should?”

Geez, how are you supposed to answer that question? “I think it’ll be… fun.” To your dismay, she catches your strained tone and raises a brow.

“You… don’t sound very excited. Would you rather not join? Or… is it because it’ll be in your room? If so, then why didn’t you refuse?”

It feels like there are no good answers here. Time to do what you do best: dodge!!

“I-It’s really not a big deal. I mean, I like hanging out with everyone, and I trust them…  I think.” That last part slips out accidentally, and you curse yourself for it. “I’ve just never really done something like this before, that’s all! S-So um, don’t worry about me. If you want to join, then you should join. After all, ‘the more the merrier’, right??” You let out a nervous laugh for good measure, and you cannot help but notice the way her gaze is fixated on you. Judging.

“...I see. Well, I suppose… I’ll think about it.” She pauses awkwardly as she glances elsewhere, and the solemn look from earlier returns to her face. Silence stretches out between you for a moment too long. “...It was a pleasure to meet you. I hope we can get along.”

Corrin gives you a bow of her head before turning and heading inside. Once she’s gone and the door has shut behind her, you can’t help but let out a deep sigh. That certainly was a whirlwind of emotions! What even just happened??

…

Oh, right. Sleepover.

As soon as you’re sure no one can see you, you pop to your room. You were just outside, but you feel the need to peek out the window anyways to check the sky. Disregarding the sporadic gloomy clouds in the distance, the sky is going to be getting darker soon. Are sleepovers supposed to start at nightfall, or do they start earlier around evening? Aw heck, you have no idea - and even if you did, you can’t count on the Smashers following tradition.

Either way, you need to clean. Fast.

-

Keeping your sixth sense tuned, you know when people start gathering in the lobby without having to go and check. You can’t tell who is there, so you wait until the crowd gets a bit bigger before you go down yourself.

You travel to the lobby by foot and rearrange the mansion as you go, making sure it’s a functional path without intruding on any of the sections of the mansion people may actually be using. The old path to your room did not go this way - it used to just be a straight shot from the top floor - so it requires a bit more work than it would have otherwise. Fortunately, you still have chunks of hallway lying around, so that’s less you actually have to conjure up. You finally connect the hallway you’ve been extending to a certain door, then step out. You are now in a corridor connected to the lobby.

As soon as you open the door, you could hear the chatter of everyone gathered in the lobby. Nobody notices you right away, so you can study the group from afar before you approach. Nine are gathered there: Daisy, Zelda, Peach, Samus, Robin, Lucina, Isabelle, Inkling, and… Jigglypuff? Official Smash Bros. documents refer any Pokemon by using gender neutral terms, so you’ve never been positive about the gender thing for them. You suppose the fact that they’re here means that Jigglypuff is considered “one of the girls”, which has always been a popular assumption to make among Smash fans. But who cares? There are more important things to observe!

Such as: Cute! Pajamas!!

The first to draw your attention is Princess Peach, all decked out in pink. She’s wearing a simple knee-length nightgown and fuzzy slippers. Held to her chest are her blanket and square-shaped pillow. She also has her hair tied into a ponytail! Cute!!

Beside her is Daisy, who is following her signature colour a bit more loosely. Her orange tank top has a purple pig on it, with the word “HECK” written beneath the picture. Her shorts are dark blue with a starry pattern to them. Tucked under her arm is a flower-shaped pillow, and in her opposite hand she has managed to crabclaw five bags of chips and candy into her grip. You also can’t help but notice how burnt her skin still is from your last beach adventure. As you’re studying it, the girls’ conversation changes to that very topic, punctuated by Daisy poking her burns to show off the changing colours.

“Look! And it itches soooo bad - I just want to scratch it!! Ugh, this sucks!”

“Maybe you should have put on sunscreen like the rest of us,” Robin points out wryly. Her pajama pants are long and look like they’re made from silk. The pink-and-black pattern matches her unbuttoned shirt, revealing another shirt underneath. This one has “Cool Mom” written on it, with a picture of sunglasses separating the two words. Do her socks have red hearts on them? It’s hard to tell from this distance. The tactician is holding a giant bowl of popcorn, which you can smell all the way from where you’re lingering. Samus reaches to grab a handful, but her hand is slapped away.

“Hey! You’ve already had enough. Save some for the sleepover.”

“Whatever, mom.” Samus gives an exaggerated eye roll, then breaks into a grin as Zelda manages to snag a few pieces of popcorn from Robin’s other side while she was distracted. Robin realizes what’s going on a second too late, and just shakes her head as she’s forced to watch the Hylian princess munch away with a smile. While Samus is just wearing a faded t-shirt, thick sweatpants, and fuzzy socks for her sleepwear, Zelda is wearing a tank top with a little frog in the corner and pants that poof out along the legs before resting snuggly around her ankles. Zelda’s purple blanket looks large and comfy like Peach’s - in contrast, Samus seems to have opted for a black sleeping bag instead of a pillow and blanket.

“Sunscreen is for the weak!” Daisy exclaims, ignoring the popcorn burglary happening across from her. As she shouts, she jumps dramatically, turning in midair before she stomps back into the ground. The way she’s oriented upon landing leaves her staring directly at you. It seems to take the Sarasaland princess a moment before she recognizes you.

“Hey!!! What are you doing over there?! Come on, so we can finally get this party started!!”

Somewhat reluctantly, you step out of the shadows, steeling yourself before everyone’s gazes. Even though they all look pleased to see you, you can’t help but feel anxious anyways. Isabelle in particular beams at the sight of you.

“Eeeeek! Your pajamas are so cuuuute!!” The cute secretary is wearing a green checkered nightgown, buttoned up and with a white collar. She’s also wearing white bunny slippers. You personally just picked your favourite PJs, which you didn’t think were anything special. All of theirs are much cuter… but that would be weird to say out loud!!

“Um, thanks,” you mumble, already embarrassed. Ah geez, hopefully this isn’t indicative of the rest of the night. You might not be able to survive.

You take this moment to check out the rest of their sleepover choices. Jigglypuff is wearing a green-and-white speckled nightcap, and the pillow the balloon Pokemon is carrying is larger than its body. Said pillow looks like it has two pillowcases on it - you can’t see the second one, but the one on top has colourful music notes on it. Lucina is the only one who looks a little awkward to be here, wearing a white frilly nightgown that looks like it belongs to her time period. Her hand keeps reaching for her sword, moving to tug on her clothes when it meets empty air. She’s probably not used to being without it. You feel bad to see her so uncomfortable, but it’s a relief to know that’s one less weapon that can be used to destroy your room.

Inkling runs up to you, speaking excitedly as she hops up and down. She’s wearing a plain t-shirt and shorts with Inkopolis brands featured on them. Her slippers are shaped like a black-and-white cat.

“Yeah, we wanna see your super cool room now!” Daisy agrees, barely able to stop herself from hopping around as well. “Let’s go let’s go let’s go!!”

You’re not sure you’d call it “super cool”... but you smile and nod anyways, pretending you are not nervous as all heck.

“W-Well, uh, if everyone is ready, it’s just this way--!” Out of the corner of your eye, you spot somebody eavesdropping stealthily in another room. You almost start to panic!! ...But then you realize who it is.

“Corrin? Is that you?” Robin peers around the corner after following your gaze and gives the white-haired swordswoman a warm smile. You notice Corrin visibly flinch after being spotted. “Come on out and join us - we won’t bite! Well, not until the tournament starts at least.”

Slowly, Corrin creeps out of the shadows to join the group. She looks visibly uncomfortable to have everyone’s attention on her. “Um… hello everybody. I.. didn’t want to interrupt…”

“You’re not interrupting at all, dear! Come, join us!” Peach says kindly. “But, Corrin… where are your pajamas?”

Corrin is still in the outfit she was wearing earlier in the day. Maybe she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to join or not.

“Um… I don’t really… have any…?”

“Well, that won’t do,” Zelda says. “You can’t have a sleepover without pajamas.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“I have a lot of extra clothes,” you offer, feeling admittedly eager to get a move on. “You could wear something of mine.”

Corrin shakes her head and takes a step back. “I wouldn’t want to be a burden--”

“It’s no burden at all, honest! I have so many clothes I don’t even wear, so it’s really not a problem.”

Robin gently links arms with Corrin. “See? Problem solved. So, are you joining us or what?”

Looking a bit like a cornered animal as her gaze darts over all the expectant faces, Corrin finally sighs. “I… okay, yes. I will join your sleepover.”

“Yay!” Peach claps her hands together. “Shall we be off now?”

“Uh, yeah, l-let’s go.” Finally, this is happening. With no more interruptions, you start down the hallways you came from, keeping your eyes focused on the door at the end of the hall in an attempt to drown out your anxiety. There’s going to be almost a dozen people in your room! It’s stressing you out just thinking about it! As you’re opening the door that has become temporarily connected to your private wing of the mansion, you hear Zelda’s voice speak up from behind you.

“So that’s where this door goes…”

“I should have known!” Even though you’re not looking at her, you can hear the grin in Daisy’s voice. “That’s one locked door mystery solved…”

It doesn’t surprise you that some Smashers have probably been trying every door they come across. You don’t blame them or anything - you’d be curious too. At least they respect you and your property enough that they aren’t breaking locks (as far as you know, at least - you don’t have any proof for… certain accidents).

“Right this way…” You stand aside and let everyone else go through the door first. Daisy and Inkling rush through it enthusiastically, while the others enter at their own pace. Peach, Zelda, Robin, and Isabelle give you pleasant smile as they pass, while Lucina and Corrin look a bit more tentative, curious about the unknown territory they are walking into. Samus and Jigglypuff remain neutral, leaving you wondering what they could possibly be thinking.

When it’s finally time for you to step through the doorway yourself, you look around the lobby one last time for any stragglers or spies before quickly hopping through and shutting the door behind you. The second you turn the lock, you’re breathing a deep sigh of relief. Bam! Step one is done. You easily shift the mansion’s passages so the door once again leads to the basement, and no one in your party notices anything amiss. Now, even if someone did break the lock, they wouldn’t reach this hallway and find your room. Nope, the only way someone could follow you guys in here is if they could teleport… or if they started breaking down walls.

Hopefully, tonight would not involve another disaster like that.

“Just keep going - it’s a linear path from here.” This transitional corridor is admittedly not your best work - instead of stairs, it’s just one long slope to the top. Hey, you were on a time crunch! There was no time to get fancy! You at least have the red carpet rolled out, and a row of windows on one side and candlesticks on the other. For mood lighting, of course. A gentle light from the nighttime outside filters through the windows.

“Ooh, ominous,” Zelda says teasingly as everyone starts making their way upwards. Daisy bounds forward to get ahead of everybody before spotting an ancient mask on the wall. With a devious grin, she grabs it and holds it in front of her face.

“Bleh! Look at me, I’m a Masked Ghoul! Oooooo!” She laughs and puts the mask back on the wall. “Hey, we should totally have a Halloween party! We can decorate the mansion and everything!”

Inkling turns away from the window she’s peering out of and asks a question. You decide to be the one to answer.

“Halloween is a holiday where people dress up as monsters and then, um, scare people for candy.” Some universes celebrate it a bit differently, so that’s the best way you think you can generalize it. Thankfully, the others start chiming in to help explain it.

“Oh, yes!” Isabelle smiles at the mention of the familiar holiday. “You dress up and then go around the village asking people if they want a trick or a treat! And if you scare someone successfully, they have to give you a lollipop!” She pauses, frowning a bit. “Umm, it’s not my favourite holiday… but the villagers always have fun with it!”

“In other places, you just dress up and go door-to-door around the neighbourhood.” Samus has a wry smile with her own explanation. “Then strangers are supposed to give you candy.”

“You don’t have to dress up as something scary though!” Peach clarifies. Samus gives a mock-frown.

“But where’s the fun in that?”

“Wait, but what happens if someone doesn’t have any candy to give?” Corrin asks. Samus shrugs.

“I guess that’s when you play a trick on them?”

“Yes, that’s how it works!” Isabelle confirms. “If someone doesn’t have candy, then you have to play a nasty trick! Like, umm, giving them old and dirty clothes… or torn wallpaper…”

“I think the definition of ‘trick’ varies from world to world,” Peach says.

“I’ve read about the holiday, but I’ve never celebrated it,” Robin says. “It sounds like it would be fun though.”

“I guess we could try,” you offer. “We can’t really go trick-or-treating here, but we could at least dress up and decorate the mansion, if you want. Maybe have a… party or something?”

Daisy cheers. “YEAH! Let’s do it!! We can go to all the worlds and see who has THE BEST Halloween stuff!”

“You can rule Hyrule out - we don’t celebrate it at all.”

“I think it would be difficult to find anything from our world as well,” Lucina adds. Daisy hums.

“We’ll have to make a list of what worlds to visit… But we can do that later! Right now we got a SLEEPOVER to have!” With a whoop, Daisy runs up the hall, candle flames flickering as she zips past them. Everyone else follows at their own pace, with you lagging behind to make sure nobody tries sneaking back the way you came. Thankfully, they’re all too distracted by their new surroundings to notice you.

At the top of the long ramp, you pass through the doorway to enter your little box of a corridor. Everyone has paused to gawk at the little collection you’ve amassed here.

“Uh, sorry about the mess,” you say awkwardly, wishing you relocated all this stuff to one of your secret rooms. Something in your stomach drops when you see everyone getting a bit too curious about all the nonsense you have collected. “Um, the door is just over there…”

“Wow, this is so cool!” Daisy says, looking around before finally grabbing a trophy out of the mess. “Did you win this?”

“Uh, no.” You do not know if it’s something one of your ancestors won, or if it’s one of the many things that fell into your world by accident. The name has been scratched out, but engraved text on the golden trophy say it’s for something called “Chia Bomber 2”. You have no idea what kind of game that is (if it is one??).

“I see why you keep these up here…” You turn and see Lucina examining a massive stained-glass picture alongside Peach and Isabelle. The picture is of a person, but just enough chunks of glass are missing that you can’t tell who it was meant to be. It showed up in your realm completely shattered, and you did your best to put it back together, but you never found those last few pieces.

Next to them, Inkling and Samus are examining a robot leg. The rest of the body never showed up, and you never ended up figuring out what the keypad on the bottom of the foot was for. Jigglypuff has found a ghastly mask of some monster, giving it a wary poke and cringing at the rubbery texture. Corrin is standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall studying from afar, clearly curious but graciously refraining from touching anything.

“Oh, ew, what is this!” Robin laughs as she pulls her hand out of a cauldron, her hand covered in green slime. Next to her, Zelda has found one of your ragged and extremely fragile tomes.

Okay, it’s time to move on.

“H-Hey,” you try, hoping to get everyone’s attention, “aren’t we supposed to be having a sleepover...?”

You almost think nobody heard you, but after a moment passes, Daisy looks up and goes “oh yeah!!”. Everyone abandons their finds, and you let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey, you got a washroom in there, right?” Robin asks, staring at her slime-covered hand in amusement. You nod and claim the opportunity to hop over to the door, eagerly turning the handle and pushing it open. Robin walks in first and you point her in the direction of the washroom. You’re thankful when she pauses for only a second to glance at your room before continuing on.

When everyone else files in, you can’t help but feel self-conscious at your disaster of a room. All of your interests - laid bare for them all to see! It seems so much more cluttered when you have this many people here. Agreeing to this was a bad idea--

“That’s the biggest bed I’ve ever seen!” Daisy bounds over and flops down on it, bouncing a bit when she hits the mattress. “Oh wowww, it’s so soooooft! I could lie here forever.”

Inkling comes over and climbs onto the bed as well, smiling as she drops onto the sheets. Enthralled by the small bounce she experiences, she sits up and drops down again… and again… before she just full-on starts jumping around, whooping with excitement.

Remembering you have a hostly thing to do, you turn to Corrin. “Oh, before I forget! Let’s find you some pajamas!” You lead her to your closet, pulling the double doors open and flicking on the light inside. Still on the bed, Daisy twists her body so she can watch what you’re doing.

“Oh my gosh YOU HAVE A WALK-IN CLOSET?!”

You didn’t think this would be a big deal, but nearly everyone comes over to check it out. You’re glad that your closet is absolutely massive, or else this situation would get crowded pretty fast.

“Haha, where do you even get all this stuff?” Zelda asks, wrapping a long blue feather boa around herself. Beside her, Daisy has put on a pair of massive heart-shaped glasses.

You shrug. “I just sorta find it… lying around.” You keep a variety in your room, but there are other rooms in the mansion where clothes are stored as well. Like with most things in your realm, you have no idea where they came from.

Jigglypuff and Peach are trying on hats and looking in the mirror with them. Lucina and Isabelle seem content to look at the various uniforms and formal wear you have. Returning your focus to the actual reason you’re in here, you lead Corrin to the pajama section. You tell her to pick anything she wants, and she seems to hesitate before gingerly digging through the selection. You notice her stop on a shirt that has a picture of a sleeping cartoon dragon on it, the words “good night!” embroidered onto a starry background. After staring at it for a minute with a solemn expression, she continues looking.

“Oh, this one is cute!!” Suddenly Daisy is at your side, snatching the dragon shirt off the rack. She’s wearing three pairs of goofy glasses and a blazer covered in question marks, but she shrugs all that off once she has the dragon shirt in her hands. “I’m gonna wear it!” she announces, and without waiting for anyone’s opinion, she pulls it over her head and down her body. It doesn’t quite fit her, but she’s beaming anyways and doesn’t express any discomfort.

Inkling wanders in the closet, staring in awe at the selection. Once she reaches the pajama section, she freezes at something in particular, before narrowing her eyes and approaching the rack. Slowly, she reaches for whatever caught her eye, resulting in her pulling down a shark onesie. Her tension is replaced by confusion as she examines it.

“They’re just pajamas,” you explain, assuming her suspicion spawned from fear. “It’s not a real shark or anything.” Well, unless it came from a universe where sharks are made of cotton, but you keep that possibility to yourself. Inkling’s expression lights up in realization and she puts on the onesie with a grin. It takes her some effort, but once she’s got it on, she bares her teeth and starts chomping at the air. Aw, that’s cute! You mentally remind yourself to take a picture later.

Corrin eventually picks out a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain t-shirt and you lead her to the bathroom so she can change. Along the way, you spot Samus going through your movies. Ignoring her, you step into the bathroom… and catch Robin snooping through your things.

“Whoops!” Robin pulls away from the cupboard she was peeking into and slams the door shut. She holds her hands up and grins. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Guilty as charged. You probably shouldn’t trust me to behave if I’m alone in a room filled with secrets.”

“It’s okay.” It’s just the bathroom, after all. That’s what you tell yourself, at least, to fight off the anxiety in your gut. “Um, Corrin needs to change, so…”

“Oh, of course!” Robin gets the message and follows you out, leaving Corrin to close the door behind her. Back out here, it seems everyone has emerged from your closet and have spread themselves out across the floor and your bed. Daisy and Inkling are still wearing the things they found in your closet, but it looks like no one else decided to take a souvenir. Robin sits on the floor between Lucina and Isabelle and brings the giant bowl of popcorn into her lap.

“Alright guys, what are we watching? The be all and end all of any good sleepover:” Samus holds up a different movie in each hand. “Romance?” She makes a face to express her distaste. “Or horror?” She grins and does a whispered cheer.

“Why not both?” Zelda replies. Peach nods.

“Yes, we could watch the scary movie first, then the romance movie later. That way, we won’t be scared before bed.”

“Fiiiine,” Samus groans exaggeratedly, a smile on her face. She opens the case and goes to put the horror movie in, but Zelda suddenly calls her out.

“Hey! Don’t we get any say in which one we watch?”

Samus turns and puts a hand to her chest in mock-hurt. “Are you saying you don’t trust my movie choices? Zel, babe… how could you say such a thing?”

“Oh, be quiet you!” Zelda laughs. “Maybe not everyone here wants to watch the scariest movie imaginable.”

“Whaaat? I don’t even understand those words you just said.”

“What’s the point of watching a scary movie if we’re not going to watch the best one?” Daisy adds, clearly sharing Samus’ tastes. Isabelle pipes up in a somewhat timid voice:

“U-Um, scarier doesn’t always mean better, you know…”

Lucina makes a noise of agreement while Samus rolls her eyes and scoffs. With the group at an impasse, Peach looks at you.

“Why don’t you pick a movie for us? You must have seen all these and know which one is best, right?”

Many pairs of eyes land on you, putting you on the spot. Aw geez. Samus puts the movie back where she got it.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” The bounty hunter scoots away from the entertainment unit and gestures for you to approach. “It’s all yours.”

“Pick a really scary one!” Daisy shouts.

“B-But not too scary please,” Isabelle adds. You are now left with a big choice here: which end of the spectrum do you want to cater to more? And, will they really like your weird movie picks??

With a sigh, you approach and study the spines of your movie collection, before finally deciding on one. You pull it out and stare at the unassuming cover for a moment before popping the disc in the movie player. As you set things up, Samus gets the lights, snickering maniacally at the quiet whimpers from the more skittish ladies present. The sky outside has grown dark, leaving the only source of light to be the TV. Corrin comes out of the bathroom just in time, clad in the PJs she picked out. Peach calls her over and, after closing the door, Corrin comes over and sits on the floor between Peach and Zelda.

“Is everyone ready?” you ask, finger poised over the play button. Daisy, Jigglypuff, Robin, Inkling, and Samus cheer and chant for you to push the button. Isabelle is already covering her eyes. Lucina suddenly looks awfully distracted by the bowl of popcorn. Corrin is silent, looking more nervous about the quantity of people around her rather than concerned about the movie. Zelda gives you a thumbs up while Peach smiles patiently.

You guess that’s the best you’re going to get.

“Okay,” you mumble, breathing out a wave of nerves, “here we go…”

And you start the movie.

-

Somehow, the lot of you ended up in some sort of blanket cuddle pile on the floor. You’re squished between Samus, Zelda, and Lucina, and at some point Daisy slid off the bed (leaving Inkling the only one up there, with a monopoly on all the abandoned snacks) to sit behind you. But breaking your proximity from everyone has been the furthest thing on your mind as you watch the girl on the screen run through the school to escape her unknown pursuer.

You may have seen this one before… but it’s still scary!!!

“No, don’t go in there - you’ll be trapped!” Lucina whispers, with her knees pulled to her chest and her hands ready to cover her face from fear. The banter between your little slumber posse has ranged from joking about the movie to trying to spook each other at tense moments, but that died down the further the movie progressed. The killings are gruesome and the mystery is tantalizing. Nowhere seems to be safe for the characters in the movie! And can they trust anybody? One boy was attacked and killed by their own dog completely out of the blue. And now, a girl is rushing into the attic and locking themselves in a storage room, foolishly thinking that would save them. In the movie, the doorknob starts rattling as the girl scrambles around, looking for a way to escape.

There’s a banging at the door - your door - and suddenly everyone starts screaming.

“No, don’t let them in!” Isabelle shouts, hiding under the blanket. Inkling falls off the bed from fright and scrambles to hide. Even the ones who have been the most lighthearted about the movie - Samus and Daisy - are looking at the door in your room with alarm. You mimic their expression, a thick sense of dread pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else.

Didn’t you disconnect these hallways from the mansion??

Who… or what... is out there??

Did you lock the door??????

You’re all so focused on the real life danger that the movie is practically forgotten. The door bangs and rattles again, and you feel several bodies around you jump in fright. Someone lets out a quiet shriek, while Zelda has prepared a ball of fire and Samus has taken out her pistol from somewhere, ready to strike if the intruder enters the room. The rattling stops and the ensuing near-silence is deafening - the screams from the TV suddenly seem louder than they’ve been all night, but no one makes a move to mute them. A moment passes and then…

...the doorknob clicks.

...

YOU DIDN’T LOCK THE DOOR.

Very slowly, the door creaks open (your door has never creaked before!!), allowing a sliver of light to enter the room from the hallway. It casts a shadow upon the figure, making it impossible to identify who they are at a glance. As the door swings open bit by bit, your eyes take in all the features of the intruder’s form, exaggerated by the screams of agony coming from the TV and further jostled by whoever has just thrown their arms around you in fright. Razor sharp horns!! Monstrously tall!! And they’re holding something that gleams in the darkness!!! The figure lets out a low, evil chuckle.

“Oooooo, somebody told me you ladies were having a slumber party~”

Suddenly, the figure is laughing, and several people around you groan.

“Palutena!”

“Geez, you scared me--”

Palutena laughs some more, and the light is suddenly flicked on without your command. You haven’t exactly registered the situation yet, so you’re still frozen in place.

“Aww, you all look so cute and cozy! Were you really that scared~?”

It is at this moment that you better realize the situation you’re in. There are actually two pairs of arms around you - Daisy is clinging to your torso and is peeking over your shoulder, while Lucina has pinned down your arms with her embrace and is hiding her face in your shoulder. A moment after the lights turn on, Daisy relaxes her grip on you but doesn’t move away, releasing her tension with a laugh.

“What the HECK, girl! Were you waiting out there for the perfect time or what?!”

“Oh, was that a bad time? My bad.” Palutena doesn’t look apologetic in the slightest. You notice that the monster traits you thought you saw in the darkness were actually courtesy of her pajamas - a… cow onesie. She holds up the objects in her hands - in one is a large tub of ice cream and two bags of Oreos, and in the other is a handful of spoons. “Will treats make it better?”

Samus rolls her eyes and puts her pistol back in the holster hidden under her clothes. “Yeah they will, get over here you imp.”

Palutena makes an expression of mock-hurt. “Comparing a Goddess of Light to such a lowly creature of the Underworld? I didn’t know your opinion of me was so low.”

“More like the Goddess of Bad Pranks,” Zelda scoffs, and that leads into a lighthearted tirade about other Goddess titles for her. The murder scene in the movie has ended and it has moved to a period of calm, so it goes largely ignored while the new snacks are passed out. During this, Lucina seems to finally come to her senses and pulls away from you, her face a bright pink.

“I-I’m so sorry! I… didn’t realize I… I thought…” She glances at her mother, who is giving her a sly, knowing smile as she pats a still-trembling Isabelle. While you are a little embarrassed too (you’re relieved when Daisy finally releases you in favour of grabbing a handful of Oreos), you try to keep your expression calm and fluster-free.

“That’s okay, I understand. It was uh, pretty scary.” So scary that you forgot you could have just mentally locked the doors.

So scary that you forgot Palutena shouldn’t have known where your room was.

You peek over at the goddess, who has taken a seat in the oddly-shaped circle you have going on right now. She’s in the middle of a lighthearted conversation with Zelda and Samus, ignorant to your stares. You don’t want to voice your thoughts aloud, in fear of seeming too overbearing, but you are just consumed by unease. You’re pretty sure she can teleport, so that makes the disconnected hallways a non-issue… but…

Maybe one of the others contacted her? You glance around the group, foregoing trying to seem inconspicuous. Do the Smashers have like… cell phones or something?? You don’t think you’ve seen any comms device that they all have. So then… how???

“Should we restart the movie for Palutena?” Peach asks, finally reminding everyone that the film is still going.

“I-I think we can just umm, give her a recap!” Isabelle announces, unable to hide her fright. Lucina nods a bit too enthusiastically.

“Y-Yes, I agree! I mean, there are plenty of other things we need to do during this sleepover… right?”

“I guess you’re right,” Zelda concedes, and the two sigh in relief, much to everyone’s amusement. Everyone tries to pitch into the summary, making the movie seem like more of a jumbled mess than it actually is.

Conveniently, no one remembers to turn the lights back off.

-

The credits finally roll, and the blanket of tension finally eases up. Things never got as scary as they did before Palutena arrived, but there’s a clear change in the atmosphere once the movie is over.

“Whew! That was an interesting movie,” Palutena said, entirely unaffected by the spooks and gore. She’s easily the least rattled out of the group, and you’re not sure if you saw or heard any genuine fright from her during the entire second half of the movie. As Peach and Corrin start collecting the trash strewn about from the devoured snacks, Zelda leans back against the bedpost and smiles at you.

“Yeah, it was. I didn’t expect it to involve witches and magic by the end. That was a fun movie - great choice.”

Eek! Someone approved of your pick! You feel like you won the lottery - although, you can’t help but feel bad for the ones who clearly didn’t enjoy it that much…

“N-Next we’re supposed to watch a romance movie, right??” Isabelle asks, sounding just a tiny bit desperate.

“Why don’t we take a break from movies first?” Palutena asks, getting up and approaching your desk. You’re a bit worried at first, but it’s replaced by confusion when you see her grab your fancy old-styled interdimensional phone. It’s vintage as heck - it looks like it came from the late 1800s - but it has like a billion dials of various sizes on it.

“Are… we calling someone?” Lucina asks, clearly curious about your phone’s design.

“Ooh, can we get delivery out here?” Robin asks you. “I could go for a pizza.”

“Yeah, we could order something,” you reply nonchalantly. You turn to Palutena. “I uh, assume that’s not what your plan was though.”

Palutena waves away your concern. “Nah, this can wait until we order something.”

You go around the group and write down everyone’s order before ringing up your usual delivery joint. You didn’t know many people personally before the Smashers came, but your trusty delivery guy? They were basically the closest thing you had to a “friend” for years. You shared a giant order of pasta with them once and watched half a movie before they had to skedaddle and pick-up their next delivery. You never let it show how much you relished those moments in fear of seeming weird or overbearing.

Yep. You’ve definitely developed some great and stable relationships over the years.

“So, what did you want to do with the phone?” you ask Palutena, handing the phone to her after everything’s been ordered. She looks around the group with a mischievous grin and a twinkle in her eyes.

“As the Goddess of Good Pranks, I declare we grace the multiverse with our voices and whisper only the sweetest of promises and prophecies into their delicate, mortal ears.”

Peach claps her hands together, looking oddly excited. “Oh! We’re doing prank calls?”

“Prank calls?” Corrin repeats. “Is that… what it sounds like? You call people and you prank them?”

“Yes, that’s exactly right,” Palutena replies. “We dial random numbers and pull some kind of joke on whoever answers. Anyone want to provide an example?”

Daisy’s hands shoot out, reaching for the phone. “Ooh, me! I do!” Once it’s in her hands, she studies it for a moment before turning to you. “How do I use this??”

“Uh, here--” You go to take the phone from her hands, but she doesn’t let go once it’s in your hands. Some of your fingers overlap hers. Awkwardly, you pull away and settle with just pointing at all the bits. “These dials are for the date and exact time you’re calling. This one is for the universe, and the smaller one inside is for alternate timelines. Then this dial is just for the phone number or an equivalent communications line. Once you’re done, you just press this button on the receiver. If any of the dials are incompatible, it’ll auto-correct itself.”

“Whoa, cool!” With a grin, Daisy puts the phone on the floor, picks up the receiver, and starts turning all the dials randomly. Once she’s done, she presses the button. You quickly spin the volume dial so everyone can hear the other end. A dial tone rings for a few moments, before finally someone picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey man, just calling to tell you we’ll be at your place with the pizza in a few minutes. Sorry for the hold up - there was a lot of traffic, you see--”

“Huh? I think you have the wrong number - I didn’t order any pizza.”

Daisy pauses for effect, then reads off the phone number in a questioning tone. “This is your number, right?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Well, it says here you ordered ten thousand pizzas. And we got the pizzas right here.”

“T-TEN THOUSAND?! I didn’t order those! Why would I order ten thousand pizzas?!”

“I dunno man, you’re the customer.” The person on the other end stammers out their denial, but Daisy cuts them off as she holds back a smile. “Look buddy, we’re gonna be there in a minute and SOMEONE has to pay for all these pizzas. I don’t care who - we didn’t make all these just to dump ‘em.”

“I told you, I didn’t order them! And I’m NOT paying for them!”

“We’ll see about that, buddy. Or else I’m going to have to take you to court.”

“WHAT?! But I--”

“See you soon! Have a nice day!” Daisy hangs up the phone and immediately bursts out laughing, with several of the others following suit. Isabelle’s eyes are wide.

“But how are they supposed to pay for all those pizzas they didn’t order?”

“That’s part of the prank,” Zelda explains. “Nobody ordered ten thousand pizzas, and nobody is delivering ten thousand pizzas. But the person is going to be scared for the next little while that they are going to show up at their house.”

“Oh! I see!” Isabelle smiles in understanding for a moment before making a face. “Oooh, that’s a mean prank… I’d be scared too if I thought I would have to pay for ten thousand pizzas I didn’t order…”

“Well, I got a nicer prank for you,” Samus announces, taking the phone from Daisy. The bounty hunter spins the dials one by one before finally pressing the call button. It rings once before a groggy voice picks up.

“Mmmmgh… Hello?”

“Good mornin’, I’m callin’ from the Super Survey Committee,” Samus begins, putting on an exaggerated accent. “We’ve chosen you to be entered in a drawin’ for $10,000. All you have to do is answer a quick survey. Howzabout it?”

“Uhhh… okay, sure.” The sleepiness seems to leave their voice after hearing about the cash prize.

“Awright. Let’s start with your name.”

Conveniently, there is a sudden interference and the phone crackles. Samus is undeterred however, and continues as if nothing happened.

“Mmmm-hm. Gotcha. Excellent. Next, what d’ya do for a livin’?”

“Well, I’m uh, a student right now… but I’m also a detective! A great detective. Maybe you’ve heard of my grandfather - our family name is pretty famous.”

“Ohhhhh, yeah, yep. I’m talkin’ to a real celebrity, huh?”

“Yeppers!”

The voice sounds pretty young, so you assume they’re one of those teenage detectives you’ve read so much about. There are so many of them in the multiverse, it’s kind of wild, actually.

“Alrighty, now that we’ve got that out of the way… You ready to start? You somewhere comfortable right now?”

“Uh…” There’s a bit of rustling on the other end. “Yeah, I think so?”

“Ya think so? Bud, I can’t start unless you know so. Aren’t you supposed to be a great detective or somethin’?”

“I-I know so! I’m as comfortable as a calm right now! Couldn’t be more comfy than this!”

Samus grins, refraining from chuckling like the rest of you. “If y’ say so. First question… what’s yer favourite colour?”

“Red!” As the survey begins, Palutena suddenly starts passing around a pen and paper. One by one, everyone writes down weird questions for Samus to ask. While the paper goes around, Samus keeps going with the “normal” questions.

“Favourite flavour of ice cream?”

“Mmm… chocolate.”

“Least favourite subject in school?”

“Uh… can I say all of them?”

“Sure. Would ya rather be famous or have world peace?”

A pause. “...Um! World peace, of course. Haha…”

“You don’t sound so sure, dude.”

“Hey! Of course I want world peace - who doesn’t? It’s just, uh…”

“Just teasin’ ya, bud. Never said you had to be honest in the survey.” The paper reaches Samus, and she takes it in her hand. “Ready to continue?”

“Y-Yep! Lay em on me!”

“Fabulous. Next question… would you s-smooch a skeleton…?”

Samus’ fake accent falls apart as she reads the first question, trying to hold back her laughter. Robin grins and does a fist pump.

“Ooh, that’s a good start,” Palutena says quietly. The tactician is extremely proud of herself.

“Uhhhh… could you uh, repeat that? Please?”

“Sure thing.” And this time with more confidence: “Would you smooch a skeleton?”

The other line is silent, obviously trying to process the question. Finally, they speak up again: “Is it, uh… a cute skeleton?”

“The cutest,” Robin supplies.

“Absolutely,” Samus says into the phone, and a nervous hum can be heard from the other end.

“...sure, I guess?? N-Not that I would - or do - but--”

“Next question!” You have to hold back your giggles as Samus enthusiastically cuts him off. “Tell me about your favourite body pillow.”

You peek around the group to see if you can figure out who wrote down that query. Most of them seem to be smiling or giggling… but no one is giving off anything that explicitly looks like a hint.

“A-A-A body pillow? Wh-Why would I have one of those?” The person on the other end lets out a nervous laugh. “And, hey, that’s not even a question…!”

“Whaaaat? You don’t have a body pillow? Yer really missing out - they’re great. Got one myself. Makes me feel reeaaal comfy on those lonely nights.”

Something about Samus’ tone and accent leaves you shaking as you try to hold in your laughter. Daisy, Zelda, and Robin aren’t faring much better than you - the Sarasaland princess is doubled over with a hand over her mouth.

The other end is quiet for a moment. “...Okay, well. Maybe… I do have a body pillow. It’s uh, this idol I like… sh-she’s just soooo cute!!”

[insert transitional dialogue here]

“Next question! ...Wait, there are kids present, I can’t ask this one. Skipping that...”

Palutena pouts and shakes her head disapprovingly as Peach, Zelda, and Robin start giggling.

“Uh, I’m not a kid. I’m seventeen…”

“Say you have to diffuse a bomb and millions of lives are at stake. You’re down to the last two wires - one will deactivate it, while the other… well…” Samus pauses for dramatic effect. “Which do you choose: red or blue?”

“Don’t I get uh, more information than that…?”

“Nope. Red or blue dude, tick tock.”

“U-Uhh… blue, definitely blue…”

Samus sucks in a breath of air and shakes her head. The voice on the other line grows panicked.

“W-Wait, was that wrong??”

“There are no wrong answers here, bud. Only consequences. Anyways… which do you prefer: cats or dogs?”

The rest of the questions play out similarly - the rest of the girls didn’t put anything else outlandish. You admittedly didn’t put down anything - you just couldn’t think of anything on the fly, and you wanted to keep the paper moving! You’re pretty sure you’re not alone on that either, because the final number of questions doesn’t add up to the number of people in the room.

“Awwwright, that’s all of them. Thanks fer yer participation - we’ll be putting these results to good use.”

[insert the end of the call and the characters discussing it. jigglypuff decides they want to go next.]

Jigglypuff asks if you have a phone book as it moves closer to the phone. You get up to drag one out from under your desk. This phone book only has the area codes for about one trillion universes (of which there is an infinite number of, of course), but it is still massive. You could probably kill someone with this thing. You place it next to Jigglypuff with a thump, and the balloon Pokemon opens it up and starts flipping through it, entirely unbothered that the book is almost bigger than it. It finally finds the number it was looking for and puts it into the phone, placing the receiver on the ground. The phone rings three times before someone finally picks up. A bored voice comes through on the other end.

“This is the office for Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale, front desk speaking.” The voice sighs. “Did you dial the wrong number? Hold on, I’ll get the phone book...”

You have to cover your mouth to hide your giggles, and you see Peach and Zelda doing the same. Samus and Robin are wearing wild grins. Jigglypuff’s expression turns devious for a moment before it sobers up, voice neutral when it speaks. You’re glad that your phone automatically translates both ways, or else your prank would probably be recognized right away.

“Hello? I’m looking for someone who can help me. I heard a rumour that Cloud Strife is joining the next Playstation All-Stars tournament - is this true?”

The other end is silent for a moment before the voice laughs awkwardly. “Uhhhh, I’m not sure where you heard that. You sure you’re not confusing us with Super Smash Bros.?”

“Haven’t you heard? He turned down the invitation for the next one, and he said he’s looking for a new and better tournament to join. So I suppose he’s not joining, then?”

“.......................Just a sec.” There’s some rustling as if the phone was being shifted, then the voice can be heard shouting enthusiastically: “BOSS! BOSS!!!!! GET ON THE PHONE, THERE’S-- THEY-- CLOUD STRIFE!!! WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET HIM--!”

A distant “WHAT?!” is heard and suddenly there’s a click, and a new voice is on the phone. “H-Hello?! What’s this about Mr. Strife--?!”

You can’t hold it in anymore. Everyone is laughing audibly now, and it takes a moment for the person on the other end to register what’s going on. “Wait… who is this? Is this a joke? When I find out who you kids work for, I’ll--”

“You’ll what? You’ll get us fired?” Jigglypuff scoffs and picks up the phone, holding it close. “Cloud Strife will NEVER join your tournament… and your miserable so-called Playstation ‘All-Stars’ will NEVER hold a candle to Smash Bros.”

Jigglypuff hangs up before the person on the other end can stammer out a response, and everyone in the room starts hollering. Wow, that was harsh. Of course, it’s not exactly wrong…

“What’s Playstation All-Stars?” Corrin asks among the cheers, unable to understand everyone’s reactions. Isabelle and Inkling are wearing similar looks of confusion.

“It’s another multi-verse tournament,” Zelda explains, “but it’s held pretty far from our section of the multi-verse. Around where Cloud comes from.”

“Who’s this ‘Cloud Strife’?” Isabelle asks. “Is he popular?” Even though she was called in as an assist character for the previous tournament, Cloud was invited so late that it looks like they never got to interact. She must have been too busy at the end of the season to even watch the fights.

“Oh, absolutely!” Peach responds, smiling. “Perhaps not as popular as Mario or Pikachu, but I’d say he’s as well-known as Link is.”

“Fans online often argue about which one is better,” Palutena adds.

“We actually went to the Playstation All-Stars tournament last season,” Robin mentions, bringing the conversation back around. You’re actually pretty surprised to hear this. “It coincided with the pre-Smash preparation so a bunch of us went ahead and… paid them a visit.”

“We crashed it,” Samus clarifies with zero hesitation.

Peach takes it upon herself to elaborate. “Well, most of us just watched it. Nobody interfered! Although, I believe a few Smashers received an escort out for throwing food at the stage…”

Daisy lets out a laugh. “Really? You never told me about that part! Man, I wish I could have been there.”

“Hey, that tournament was rigged and you all know it,” Samus says defensively. “It deserved everything we threw at it.”

“None of our favourites won,” Zelda tells you. “I think most of us who weren’t kicked out left before the final match.”

Robin just shrugs. “There were a few interesting characters in the tournament, but overall it wasn’t too impressive.”

Lucina frowns, murmuring almost inaudibly: “I didn’t think it was that bad…”

Palutena claps her hands, finally closing out the conversation. “Anyways, ladies and friends, shall we get back to pranking the multi-verse? Who wants to go next?”

“Oh, I will!” Peach announces with a smile, reaching over to take the phone. You’re not the only one in the room who is startled by this. Lucina is the first to comment on it.

“P-Peach? You too? But you’re always so… um, proper.”

“Don’t underestimate Peachy,” Daisy chides while Peach slowly dials a number, humming a tune as she does so. “She’s a pranking master.”

Peach suddenly looks up at you, smile still on her face. “Do you have a second phone?”

“Uh… yeah, hold on.” You don’t actually have another in this room, so you scurry over to your closet to appearify one away from curious eyes. This one is an antique - one of those “candlestick telephones” - but it has just as many dials littered across its slender frame. You usually kept this one in the study - a room you’ve been neglecting for awhile, so you’re glad to see something from it is still in one-piece. Exiting the closet, you return to the circle on the floor and hand the phone to Peach.

“Yay, thank you!”

[peach does her prank call. mc also does a prank call here. they're deciding on who's going to go next when...]

Before anyone can volunteer, there’s a knock from the window. Everyone else stares at it, baffled, but you leap to your feet and bound over to it.

“Food’s here!” you announce, throwing the curtains open. Outside, there is a figure clad in sleek silver, yellow, and black armour that covers them from head to toe. A silver and black cape flutters behind them. They’re standing on a similarly coloured winged hoverboard, holding a large bag branded with “7+13 LIGHT & DARK EXPRESS” and a heart-shaped emblem in one hand and waving with the other. As soon as you open the window, they hop off their board and start climbing in.

“Hey there, is someone having a party or what?” They see the group of Smashers sitting around the room, staring. “Oh, you really are having a party. Huh.”

“Geez, don’t say it like that,” you say lightheartedly. As the delivery dude opens up their bag, you move to your desk and start rifling around for some genuine space dollars. The stuff you could conjure up stops retaining its form shortly after it exits the realm. Thankfully, your ancestors were loaded and practically left the real stuff lying around.

“Okay, let’s see if I got all this right…” As they list them off, the delivery pal pulls each item out of his bag and stacks it all atop each other on their other hand. “One extra extra large pizza with mushrooms, herbs, and fine-cut dragon sausage. Twelve large Ambrosias. Three dozen Lava Cookies. Three cobblers - peach, coconut, and persimmon. Six Phazon Supremes.” They pause. “Haha, this is like a Smash Bros. grocery list.”

“Is it now?” Samus asks, smirking. The delivery guy looks up at the group.

“...wait a minute.” You can’t see their face, but you can tell they are looking back and forth at each Smasher. “You’re not… and you’re... “ They swivel on their heel to face you. “Dude. Is this a prank?”

“We have been doing a lot of pranks tonight!” Isabelle supplies helpfully.

“Every day I wake up and pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming,” you answer half-honestly as you hand them the money. You’ve finally accepted this is real and happening, but every now and then you still have to confirm it when something truly absurd happens. Like having a sleepover and doing prank calls with some of Smash Bros.’s biggest all-stars.

The delivery guy is just shaking their head as they count the money. When they speak up, you can hear the disbelief in their voice: “Uh, wow. Remind me to remind you to call me up more often. Maybe one of these days I’ll have time to get some autographs, ha!”

“Autographs? You want an autograph??” Daisy leaps up with a napkin in her hand and snatches an orange pen off your desk. She clicks it a few times in excitement, wearing a huge grin. “Well, how could I say no?!” She’s snickering to herself as she scribbles her name and draws a little flower beside it. Wait… is that a Smash symbol inside the flower?

Somehow, you get the impression she’s been wanting to do this for a long time.

“Ooh, me next~!” Peach grabs a pink pen from the desk and adds her own elegant autograph to the napkin. Everyone else suddenly crowds around the desk to cram their name on the napkin with their favourite colours. Zelda and Robin are similarly formal with their autographs. Samus’ starts with something that looks like an S and an A, but the rest just looks like a squiggly line. Jigglypuff’s looks similarly squiggly, but it adds a music note to the end. Palutena opts to write “Goddess of Good Pranks” in the biggest space available, then turning the first G into a cow head. You still don’t understand the cow thing.

Inkling and Isabelle draw their own face, but the latter adds “do your best!” beside hers. Lucina tries to write her name to be fancy, but it’s clearly not something she’s used to. After a bit of persuasion, Corrin adds her name as well in her normal handwriting. Once she’s done, she surprises you by holding the black pen she was using in your direction.

“Did you want to add yours…?”

“Uh… n-no, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Yeah, I already have tons of autographs from them,” Delivery Guy jokes, and you can’t help but snort. “But, oh man, if you’re associated with Super Smash Bros.... maybe I’ll have to get some more from you next time.”

The two of you may or may not have used your library to find and replicate signatures of famous individuals throughout time and space, and then sold them for a profit. Because, turns out working for an intergalactic postal service doesn’t actually pay that well. Who knew?

“I better not see that being sold online,” Palutena chides, as if reading your minds. Delivery Buddy just laughs, taking the napkin before heading back to the window.

“Oh yeah, I wouldn’t dare angering a goddess like that. Don’t want to get smited! ...Smote? Smitten?”

“It’s definitely smote,” Palutena replies, with such confidence and assurance that you think you believe her. “I will absolutely and undoubtedly smote you.”

“Sounds good - looking forward to it.” Yeah, you’re going to see that napkin being sold later. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I have more deliveries to make. Call again sometime - ‘though Light or Dark, we’re always Express’!” They give you a two-fingered salute before revving up their hoverboard and shooting off into the dark sky. You lean your body out of the window to wave as they zip away.

“Thanks, Ven! We’ll call again soon!!”

“Dude, that slogan sucks,” Samus says as soon as you’ve closed the window. The food is already getting passed around, and your senses are assaulted by the variety of smells that have been introduced to the room. You’ve tried a couple of these (I mean, who hasn’t had pizza??) but there’s definitely a lot of new things to try here.

“Oh yeah, it totally sucks,” you agree as you sit down and help yourself to a paper plate, loading it up with anything you can get your greedy little hands on. “The owner of the company is super stubborn though and refuses to change it. They got enough complaints from the employees about it, so one time they held a contest to change it… and the winner was just the same slogan, submitted by someone who went by an anagram of the owner’s name but with an ‘X’ in it.”

“Wow,” Robin chuckles, biting into a slice of pizza. Isabelle pauses before she can bite down into her cookie, frowning.

“Does that mean… the owner got their twin to enter the contest?? It’s good that they seem to have a good relationship, but that’s just dirty!!”

Well, she’s half right.

“So, what’s this universe this company comes from?” Palutena asks with an unreadable twinkle in her eye. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”

“It’s located in an alternate layer of the multi-verse,” you explain. Then realizing not everyone here understands the multi-verse as well as you, you hastily add: “Uh, imagine there are an infinite amount of worlds that overlap each other in their coordinates, but they’re all in different dimensions, so you usually can’t interact with them at all.”

“An alternate universe,” Palutena clarifies. You nod.

“Y-Yeah, that’s it. So, you guys wouldn’t know about this world since it’s not in the same collective universe as us-- err, you guys.” Your realm can be a bit special at times, after all. A few of the Smashers still look a bit confused, but you decide to carry on anyways. “A-Anyways, Ven’s world is like, uhh… pretty normal, but multi-verse travel is a big part of the economy. For reference, Light & Dark Express is like a company for part-timers - Ven’s only working there over the summer.” Though… he’s been delivering to you since the first time you ordered from them. You once joked that it seems like he’s always on summer break, but he just shrugged instead of explaining you a thing. Ugh, alternate universes can be weird sometimes.

“That sounds interesting,” Corrin says, bringing you out of your wandering thoughts. Her gaze is fixated on the food as her expression turns pensive. You want to ask what she’s thinking about, but Inkling excitedly lunging for your phone distracts you.

“It’s my turn!! To do!!! The thing!!!!!!!” She lifts the receiver and starts wildly rubbing her free hand across the dials, clearly trying to get the most random result possible.

[inkling does her prank call, then is followed by isabelle's, zelda's, corrin's, and palutena's. lmao you see why i skipped around and ended up not finishing this? this was a lesson for me to no longer replicate the same activity 10 times for different characters in this fic. after all of them do their call, it is finally lucina's turn.]

“Okay… here goes…” Lucina picks up the receiver and starts dialing with a shaky hand. She hesitates halfway through before steeling her resolve and adding random numbers. Gripping the phone tightly with both hands, Lucina stares at it intensely as the dial tone rings out.

Click.

“Hello?”

“Oh no, it connected!!” Lucina whispers, suddenly panicked. Peach puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, you can do it!”

“U-Uhhh… I...”

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

Lucina takes a deep breath before raising her voice to be heard. “I… Hey, you…! Umm…!”

“Uhh, hello? Who is this?”

“I… um, I-I’m hanging up!!!” And she immediately does just that, letting out a distressed hum as she buries her face in her hands. Samus and Jigglypuff start cackling, while most of the others (including you) are fighting back smiles and giggles of their own. Isabelle is the only one who gives her a genuine smile, placing a paw on her back.

“It’s okay, you tried your best! It’s actually pretty hard to do!”

“Do you wanna try again?” you ask, hoping you look more sympathetic than amused. Because you’re definitely feeling the latter. Lucina doesn’t even look up as she shakes her head in the negative.

“Don’t worry sweetie, momma’s gonna show you how it’s done.” Robin reaches for the phone with an air of confidence. “Amateur hour’s over, kiddos. Let me show you how a pranking master gets it done.”

Isabelle and Inkling let out awed noises. Samus raises an eyebrow at the tactician. “This oughta be good. Let’s see what you got.”

With a wicked smile, Robin starts dialling randomly. You’re all eagerly anticipating whatever Robin has in store for the unfortunate soul on the other end. The snacks are busted out again now that most of the takeout is gone, with most of the leftovers dumped into the empty popcorn bowl and passed around. You manage to snag a handful of chisps and chocolate chips before the bowl continues to the next person. As the dial tone rings, Robin dramatically cracks her knuckles in preparation. When the call connects, she brings the receiver close to her face.

“Hello?”

“Why hello there! Is your refrigerator running?”

“...Robin? Is that you?”

Robin’s smile grows strained, alarm clear on her face. Samus bursts out laughing. Peach lets out a small “oh”, pinpointing the identity of the voice.

“Rosalina? Is that you?”

“Oh, that is Rosie!” Zelda laughs. “What a coincidence!”

“...Princess Peach? And Zelda too?” Rosalina pauses. “Oh, I see. You’re all at the Smash event right now, aren’t you? That would explain it…”

“Eyy, wassup space goddess?” Palutena chimes, chuckling to herself. “Where you at? Smash isn’t the same without you, party animal.”

You can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not - you can’t imagine someone like Rosalina being a “party animal”. Unfortunately, her next words do nothing to clear things up in that regard.

“I told you I’m not a ‘goddess’... Regardless, I’m actually on my way right now - I was merely quite far when I received the invitation. The coordinates given are… not typically in the comet’s path.”

Yeah, you kind of are in the middle of nowhere… literally. It does make you curious however: how far in the multiverse does the Comet Observatory go? It kind of sounds like it’s not just restricted to the Mario universe…

Peach claps her hands as Daisy squeals with delight. Palutena nodding along to Rosalina’s words.

“Glad to hear you’re on your way, at least. A lot of us ladies are being invited back - we’ve got Sammy, Lucina, Jiggs, and Corrin here too, along with some new kids. Cute little Isabelle is a fighter this time!” Hearing that, Isabelle blushes and nervously says “hello”.

“Guess who got invited too!” Daisy yells excitedly. Rosalina chuckles on the other end.

“Greetings, Princess Daisy - I thought I recognized your voice. It will be lovely to see you all again. It sounds like it will be quite the tournament this year...”

“And y’know--” Robin suddenly leans in your direction, grinning playfully, “there is ONE person here who knows who else is coming back, but they won’t tell us! Isn’t that just plain rude of them?”

“Ooh! Rosie! Roooosie!” Daisy slings an arm around your shoulder and gives you a friendly jostle, even though Rosalina can’t see the gesture. “Our host is just the coolest EVER! You’re gonna love them! You should have seen the baseball game - they were like, pshoooo! And the ball hit Bowser’s big dumb airship! Ha!!! Serves him right!!”

Rosalina chuckles again. “It sounds like you’ve already started having fun without me. I can’t wait to meet them…” And suddenly you feel embarrassed - both from Daisy’s praise, and from Rosalina’s smooth voice. Is she actually excited to meet you?? No, she’s probably just being polite… or getting the wrong idea from Daisy’s description. You’re not cool at all!

“So how long do you think you’ll be?” Lucina asks.

On the other end, Rosalina hums in thought for a moment. “...My apologies, it will still be awhile… Certainly before the tournament starts, but…”

Daisy groans in disappointment. “But you’re gonna miss the super cool Hallowe’en party we’re having! Can’t you get here by then??”

“That would certainly be pushing it, so I’m afraid not. If it makes you feel better, I can have the Lumas dress up so we can celebrate it with you in spirit.”

“Don’t forget you have to dress up too!” Peach chimes.

“And show us pictures when you get here!” Robin adds. Rosalina laughs softly.

“Yes, of course. I’m sure I can put something together…” That last part is a murmur, trailing off into silence. She speaks up again after a moment: “Well, I’m sure I’ve kept you long enough… Oh, wait, you were the ones who called me, correct? Something about a refrigerator…?”

“D-Don’t worry about it,” Robin stammers, ignoring the snickers from the others. “You have a nice journey, alright? We can catch up when you get here.”

“If you say so…” There’s a hint of curiosity in Rosalina’s tone, but she doesn’t press the issue further. “I’ll see you all soon. May the stars shine down on you all…”

There’s a chorus of byes before Robin finally hangs up. Samus immediately starts laughing again, earning some playful finger jabs in the side from the tactician.

“Ooooh, you!! C’mere!”

“The pranking master, huh?” The bounty hunter keeps laughing as she blocks herself from Robin’s attack. “Man, you sure showed us!”

“Oh, be quiet you! What are the odds that I’d call someone we actually knew??”

As Samus and Robin suddenly find themselves in a poke war, Peach grabs the phone and moves it aside. “It’s getting late, so why don’t we get back to movies? It’s time for a romantic one, right?”

Samus starts booing between fits of laughter. Isabelle perks up at the mention of the genre switch. “Yes! Let’s watch something cute!!”

You opt out of picking the movie this time, letting the others crowd around your entertainment unit to pick something. You sit between Inkling and Corrin and get a headstart on reclaiming the snacks. Lucina has also stayed back, fetching herself another slice of pizza. As the great movie debate begins, you decide to strike up a friendly chat with the three around you.

“So… have you guys been having fun?” Oops, you can’t think of anything else! But, you are actually curious whether or not they’re having a good time. You do want to be a good host, after all!

Inkling is the first to reply, saying “YEAH!!” and giving you a thumbs up before she digs back into the collection of candy she has amassed. Wait, should she be having all this sugar? You hope the little shark-clad squidkid crashes before she decides to put her energy towards being destructive.

“I too have been enjoying myself,” Corrin replies. When you look at her, she’s giving you a soft but genuine smile, and it makes your chest feel warm. “Thank you for inviting me. And for the clothes…”

“Don’t mention it.” You were worried about the white-haired swordswoman considering how reserved she had been before, but she looks visibly more comfortable than before.

You notice that Lucina doesn’t answer right away, however.

“M-Me? Oh, um, I’ve been having fun,” she finally says after you prompt her again. You suppose between the horror movie and her botched prank call, the festivities haven’t been favourable to her. “If I must say… it is a bit… crowded for my tastes,” she admits after a pause.

“Oh, I agree with you there,” Corrin says lightheartedly, and Lucina visibly relaxes.

“Me three,” you add. “I’ve never had this many people in my room before. It’s uh, kind of weird. ...But fun, actually.” You find yourself smiling despite everything. Most of your anxiety from earlier is gone, now that you’ve gone this long without a disaster happening.

“Is that so…?” Lucina’s expression grows thoughtful, and then increasingly flustered as she continues talking: “W-Well, in that case, perhaps sometime in the future… just the three of us could--”

“Puff!” The three of you look up to see Jigglypuff whip a disc over the heads of the other Smashers. Daisy, Robin, and Zelda are working together to restrain Samus against the floor as Peach catches the disc and cheerfully sticks it in the movie player.

“Ugh, you guys suck! And you have no taste in movies!”

Once the movie is securely in the player, the others let Samus go with victorious grins. The bounty hunter sits up and harrrumphs dramatically.

“If you wanted to trick us into watching a non-romance movie, you should have picked something we haven’t seen already,” Zelda says, shoving a case back onto the shelf. Samus grunts intelligibly as she returns to your side of the room, eagerly grabbing a handful of chisps and shoving them in her mouth all at once, being sure to keep eye contact with the others.

“Ugh, you’re gross,” Zelda says with a laugh, no malice behind her tone. Robin moves to join Samus, forcing her to share the half-finished bag. The others gradually move away from the TV to rejoin the blanket pile, grabbing their snacks of choice.

[...Aaaaand this is almost the end of the chapter, so I'll cut it here to save the end for the actual release! As you can see, I just have a lot of gaps to fill in. I have notes for all the events I have to write, it's just a matter of sitting down and writing them. Thank you for reading then and for your patience - see you when "the Smashers and their Host" continues in (hopefully) either March or April!]

[punkpoemprose]

Siege of Arendelle- Chapter Fourteen

Universe: Canon- Post Film Rating: M (Mature) Length: 3172 Words

Something like nine months later I’ve finally written the next chapter! I’m hoping to get back on a weekly or bi-weekly update schedule for this fic if I can help it, especially because there’s some stuff coming up in the next couple chapters that I’m really quite excited about. Thanks for sticking with me guys!

There’s a little flashback sexiness in paragraphs 3 & 4 if you want to skip them.

Previous Chapters

One day’s journey had brought them further than they had thought it would. The forest around them had been eerily quiet as they climbed up higher into the mountains. Like the environment, all had been silent between them as Sven pulled the wagon along dutifully. Gone was their usual playfulness, and Anna’s heart already ached to be back at the cabin. She had spent years without physical affection, without someone looking into her eyes and seeing something more than a Princess there, and now she could hardly stand a moment without his fingers intertwined with hers.

There was the comfort of her thoughts that once they stopped for the night, he would be sleeping at her side just as he had in their shared bed. There were to be few moments of comfort on their trip as they were both thoroughly shaken by even the mere concept of what they were attempting, and so Anna had to look forward to the small, simple moments of intimacy that she could count on at the end of the days before them. It paled in comparison to the nights she’d experienced with him previously.

Her birthday was the night she summoned to mind most often. It was the second and last time they’d been intimate, and he’d brought her to climax twice with his mouth before they’d even truly begun. He’d had her moaning out his name and all but begging for him to fill her. She remembered how he’d looked in the candlelight looking up at her with mussed hair, his mouth still working away on her lips in a way that made her legs quiver involuntarily with even the thought. He’d turned and smiled against the skin of her inner thigh, expression debauched as if he had felt her pleasure himself. His hair had been so mussed by her fingers that pieces stretched out in all directions.

He’d given in to her pleading. He could deny her nothing, even this insane trek into the Hinterlands. He’d brought her thus far, always doing what she asked of him. He would not abandon her or drag her back to the safety of their home despite his clear longing to do so. Her whims, logical or not, seemed of great importance to him. He’d tell her that she was crazy and speak logic to her, but he’d follow her to hell and back or make love to her from dusk to dawn all by her command.

Despite the chaos that was crashing onto their shores, she couldn’t help but be thankful for the way the situation had given him to her and her to him, fully and without reservations. He’d wanted to marry her. It was a truth that made her ache for the refuge of his home, their home where she could make love to him and unabashedly return all of the kindness he had shown her.

She promised silently as he helped her from the wagon that if they survived this, she’d be married to him by whatever means possible and as quick as could be. He’d shown her what true love was. She’d felt it in his touch, she’d seen it in the bruises he’d earned in his active refusal to leave her behind, she’d heard him speak it and she was determined to show him in return that she understood.

When his fingers slipped between her own she felt the air around them calm. It would be dark soon and it deepened the uncanny feel to the woods around them that continued to creep ever closer and more intense despite the pair of them still being on the beaten path. It became marginally less frightening when he helped her out of the wagon and smiled.

“I hope you know how to set up a tent,” he teased, “because I’ve decided I’m too tired to help.”

Anna shook her head in return, knowing that he was only teasing. It was a comfort to hear his voice after travelling so long in silence. She hoped that the unknown ahead of them didn’t encourage an increase in their taciturnity.

“If you’re too tired to help me set it up then you don’t get to sleep in it.”

He put his hands up, defeated, and pressed her knuckles to his lips.

“I’m suddenly feeling very energized.”

                                                         ***

Anna smoothed the hair from Kristoff’s forehead. He was asleep, and despite his assurances that they were safe and that she would need her rest she couldn’t seem to do the same. There was a voice in the back of her head that was wailing out with inexplicable dread. She was afraid, of what she wasn’t certain, but there was plenty to be concerned with. There was an invasion behind them that threatened their home, her kingdom, the land she held in her blood. Before them were the lands of her darkest childhood tales.

“Alves” he had said, and she’d immediately recalled all the tales her nursemaid had whispered against her parents wishes.

Alves stole away little children in the night and replaced them with their own, changelings, dark children who cared little for the wellbeing of others. Alves trapped men in spell circles and poked them with tiny knives, making them dance until they died. Alves were mischievous, violent, and cruel. They loathed humans, and they loved to trick them into causing their own suffering.

The stories she knew so well could be rationally explained as tales to keep children in line. Fantastical myths that were terrifying enough to heed were wise tools to employ when one wished to keep children in line and out of danger that was much earthlier than the ethereal creatures. The tales kept children from going deep into the wood where they could get lost or injured, it all made logical sense.

Logic, however, meant little when she had a sister who controlled ice and a lover who was raised by trolls. The rejections of the supernatural by her many childhood tutors were quickly replaced by Kristoff’s judgement. He knew the mountains far better than they did, far better than any man she’d ever met. His fear meant that she had every right to be scared.

His fitful sleep gave her no comfort. For the second night in a row he was tossing and turning, calming only slightly under her touch and calming words. He did not wake regardless of how much he fought against sleep and she found herself unable to shake the fear from him either. It only added to her dread.

His lips parted for a moment from their grim pressed line and she swore she heard him say something. Her ears strained to capture the sound, but she couldn’t understand it. It was then that she heard something else, a rustling outside the tent that made her hair stand on end.

At first she tried to tell herself that it was Sven, but there was no way that the massive reindeer was capable of making such a small sound. He was bedded down beneath a tree nearby anyhow, so it didn’t seem logical that he would be the source of a sound so close and in the opposite direction of where he lay.

A sort of nervous energy pooled in her gut and she couldn’t do what her brain was pleading with her to do.

Stay put Anna.

Just months before she might have done just that, but she couldn’t afford to be afraid of what went bump in the night anymore. She couldn’t afford to fear anything when her country was on the brink of collapse. Still she was quietly terrified.

She took a deep breath and shifted away from Kristoff, feeling the sense of unease grow deeper as she pulled away from his side. The sound was closer now, but only marginally louder, it would have been impossible to hear if it weren’t for the eerie silence of all else. Even the rhythmic sound of Kristoff’s breathing quieted to a barely audible level as her focus shifted to the noise outside the confines of their shelter. It sounded a bit like the rustling of leaves and grass, almost like footsteps, but too soft.

She was reminded of a dancer she had once seen as a child. A travelling troupe had come to the castle just for one night, for some celebration when she had been no older than five, a momentary relaxation of her father’s policy of closed gates and empty rooms. The woman had been rail thin, and when she danced, she did it all on her toes, creating the sort of soft, almost footfall-like sounds that had made her recall the dance in the moment. Anna had tried to emulate the technique for weeks to the distain of her dance instructor at the time. Princesses did not dance ballet, they danced ballroom.

She wondered what creature in the wood was not given the same prohibition.

Close to the mouth of the tent was where Anna had chosen to store her bow, and with her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she reached out for the well-worn wood of its grip. She knew that she would feel better as soon as it was in her hands, and that once she ducked out of the tent and nocked her arrow she would feel something akin to security.

She held tight to the bow and pulled an arrow from her quiver before reaching for the ties securing the tent’s flap. It was difficult to untie and release them singlehanded, but she could not bring herself to set down her bow even for a moment.

It was more comforting than it was logical. Any threat would have to be at a relatively far off distance for it to be useful, and while Kristoff had given her a knife, it was in her pack in the wagon. She wasn’t nearly so secure in her use of a blade as she was with a bow, something she owed to her many late night and early morning practice sessions with the latter over the former. Whenever she held her bow aloft, ready to fire, it felt as if she still had Kristoff’s hands guiding hers, that it was both of their strength keeping them safe. With a blade, albeit far more useful to defend herself up close, it was only polished metal in her own trembling palm.

When she edged out of the tent, the light of the moon caused her eyes to have a split moment of readjustment. The cold air hit her face, and she saw nothing before her but the same open space edged by woods that she and Kristoff had agreed would make a fine location to camp for the night.

Still though she nocked her arrow, pulled back and held her weapon aloft as she stepped, more-or-less gracefully out of the tent and into the surrounding space. Her bare feet met frost glazing the foliage and detritus below. The cold stung her warm toes and a chill shot up her spine. They hadn’t expected the temperature to drop so quickly, and she had been holding out hope that they would be able to get to their fated autumnal equinox meeting with beings unknown before the first frost. She should have known better than to rely on her luck.

“Anna?”

She jumped, but relaxed and lowered her bow. The soft surprised exhalation she made was visible in the chill night air as she turned to face Kristoff.

He was staring at her with concern from the entrance of the tent. There was no bleariness of sleep in his expression as she had become used to when he was awoken. He was on high alert as well and she, despite the emptiness of the space around them, was not yet fully comforted.

“Is everything alright?”

Anna flushed and took a step back towards the tent. She knew that for all intents and purposes had been spooked by nothing. While she was certain he wouldn’t shame her for her concern and vigilance, she didn’t want to tell him just how afraid she had been in the moment she opened the tent’s flap. The sense of dread that had been overwhelming moments before was fleeting quickly, as was her body heat, her shift doing little to keep the cold air from sapping warmth from her flesh.

“Yes. Everything’s fine. Sorry I woke you,” she said as she returned to the tent and to its relative heat.

Kristoff gave a questioning glance between the bow in her hand and the look upon her face but was kind enough not to ask her why she had felt the need to stand nearly naked in the cold with her bow drawn. He was wise enough to know that it was something she did not want to discuss, and so instead he reached out to her, uncurling her fingers from the weapon and intertwining them with his own instead.

Quickly the bow was rested back where she’d first placed it and the lacing keeping the tent’s flap closed was retied. The air within the tent quickly rewarmed to its original comfortable temperature.

Anna let Kristoff guide her back onto the large fur that made up their shared sleeping roll. It was an insulation from the ground that Anna knew was going to be even more useful than it already was in the nights to come. It would only grow colder from here, but as Kristoff wrapped her in both blankets and his arms she knew that she would not suffer the cold for very long despite the early frost.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Anna was once again uncertain if the affirmation was meant to calm her or him, but she nodded regardless and nestled her face into his neck. The sensation of unease buzzed in the fringes of her consciousness, and in Kristoff’s embrace she found enough peace from the feeling to fall asleep.

                                                          ***

Kristoff sighed in relief when he heard Anna’s breath even out and felt the tension leave her body. She was asleep, and he had the feeling that it wouldn’t be particularly light. She was exhausted, as was he, and for good reason.

Yet, he knew that he would find no such rest, a sense of anxiety had him imbued with a sort of frantic energy that didn’t lend itself well to falling asleep. He knew that he had awoken from a nightmare to find Anna outside their tent, but for all the feeling of nervousness and fear he felt, he couldn’t remember for the life of him what he’d seen in the dark dream.

He smoothed his hand over Anna’s hair and pressed a kiss to her temple before beginning the slow and careful process of extricating his body from hers without causing her to wake. It was simple enough due to how deep the Princess slept and in a few moments of shifting, tugging on boots, untying and retying, Kristoff found himself half naked in the cold air of the clearing outside of their tent.

The frosted grass crunched softly under his booted feet. He found that this didn’t disturb Sven in the slightest, the sleeping reindeer’s ability to remain unconscious was only rivaled by Anna’s. He padded a few feet further than where he’d watched Anna walk and surveyed his surroundings.

The pale moonlight lit the space well enough for him to make note of some of the smaller details of the space. Though the shadows were deep, he could make out the first rows of scrub brush around them, the silhouettes of the rows of trees beyond them and the tallest blades of grass that grew sparsely on the forested terrain. The dark sky was unclouded and full of stars in a manner that may have been peaceful if the light it cast on the earth below didn’t make everything appear quite so uncanny and foreboding.

Undeterred he continued through the blue-white landscape before him.

The frost had been disturbed just ahead of where he stood. When he moved closer, he saw that the tracks were much like those Anna had made, but that they stretched from one side of the clearing to the other, perpendicular to the line he and Anna had walked with the steps never meeting or turning as theirs had.

He followed the prints to the edge of the wood, but despite their clear human shape, he saw no one. It did little for his unease.

He peered into the dark wood before him and had the sensation that something was staring back at him, although he could not meet its gaze. While he’d never been the sort of man to consider himself wise, he knew enough from his raising and a sense of self preservation to not seek out whatever was looking at him. He and Anna were vulnerable in their tent and that they were both still breathing was enough for him to know that whatever it was in the dark, it had no interest in killing them. At least not yet.

A cool breeze struck him as he turned away from the wood and back towards the tent. Out of the corner of his eye he thought that he saw a flash of white-blonde hair, but he did not turn to see if he could spot its owner. He might have thought for a moment that Elsa had come for them, to check in on her sister, to somehow dissuade them from their fool errand deeper into the hinterlands, but the foreboding that was all but tangible in the air was enough to make the thought laughable. He did not turn. Sometimes it was better to not see, to not know.

Sometimes it’s ignorance that keeps you alive.

When he returned to the tent, he tied the fastenings tight, as if the closely tied lacings could keep out anything beyond the cool night air. He was soothed somewhat by the sound of Anna’s easy inhalations and exhalations and by the knowledge that Sven, at least, was safe from whatever was prowling in the wood.

He knew without a doubt that they were being watched because they did not belong. The reindeer would not be considered an affront to the natural order of the wood, but he and Anna, despite their time living in the mountains, all but reeked of foreignness to whatever was viewing them from out of his line of sight. He could not explain how he knew this, and yet he did.

He removed his boots and shifted himself onto his side. Anna was warm and soft and safe. He kissed her temple again, grateful that her sleep was deep and that she wasn’t disturbed by his exit and subsequent reentrance or by the cool touch of night that lingered on his skin.

“It’s going to be okay,” he repeated, and it tasted sharp and acrid on his tongue.

He’d promised to never lie to her.

[humansun]

day 5: reflections....where is the need to pivot????

Written on Sunday, November 20th at 5:01AM

Finding time to write every morning is my next goal! Today is Day 1 of being on my own, and Day 5 of being in Vietnam. It’s crazy how far I’ve come, physically, from quitting my job, moving out of my apartment, and uprooting my life within a week.

My most prominent thoughts at this time are figuring out a working routine for me that makes the most sense. All of these routine things would hopefully build me into the person I want to be. Writing would be great practice regardless of what it is. Meditation would help me stay calm and mindful throughout any parts of my life. Physical exercise is essential of course!

Right now, I think it’s okay that I don’t have that in place since I’m still bouncing around and figuring things out. Being here makes me realize how unique and specific my path is and there really is no comparison to anyone else, because I am my own person. I have my own desires, interests, and choices that are specific to me.

Once I get settled in a bit, I guess where would I want to take my writing? Instead of only blogging, I want to take my goals up a notch. An idea I had before was writing a gratitude letter to each person I know, deeply explaining what their importance was to me. That would help me describe feelings very well. I could also write a story and turn it into a screenwriting format. I could also look into Master’s schools. It’s actually wild where I could turn my life in the next couple months.

Most importantly, I should enjoy my life. I should do everything I can to explore, have fun, eat delicious foods, and bathe in this country that my family called theirs for one or two generations. (I am also realizing how salient my Chinese heritage is in Vietnam.) 

Small recap of what my game plan is: Enjoy your life, establish a routine, figure out what seems like the best right move for you going forward in 2023 (it might not be very clear, and that’s okay! Might have to do some soul-digging to figure this out).

As for the present, I want to document a bit of what I’m feeling right now, in this moment, because that’s where it matters most! 

Being alone for the first time in a long time, like actually alone in a whole new country, is exciting as much as it is frightening. Yesterday night was my first time venturing on my own, and I couldn’t get further than the premises of the apartment I am staying in. I had 7-11 for dinner. But before you judge, the 7-11 has significantly more food options than the average 7-11 in the US. There was banh mi, banh bao, xiu mai and har gow, korean dumplings, and a nice selection of fruit! 

My Vietnamese is still very slow to the point where a stranger jumped in to ask if I needed help speaking to the cashier, but it’s getting there! Slow progress is better than no progress. Bettering my Vietnamese has been one of my biggest goals being here as well, and I am determined to improve it. (Erika may have set me up for failure, because she’s trilingual and might be better at picking up languages than I am…)

Mornings and evenings are when time is most compatible with California, so that is often when I’ll take phone calls with my friends and family back home. Mel and Christina have been keeping tabs on me the past five days, leading up to the flight itself and now to my food adventures. Benny has been sending me paragraph long messages to update me on his day, engage in discourse about Vietnamese culture, and send me all the well wishes. I indeed have the best people in my life.

Staying with Chi Be at the start of my trip was comforting, because I had a family who really took care of me. Each day, Chi Be would be sure to provide a delicious treat for me, whether chê or nước dừa. We would have family dinners together in the home or have a family meal at a restaurant. Having their welcome was essential to help me acculturate to Saigon. An experience that was surprising for me was realizing that my standard of living has changed after living by myself in Canoga Park for a year. There’s a level of control over my environment that I want to have, but sometimes that’s not my place.

As for work, I am squeezing in as many hours that make sense for me to do New Wave work. I have a tendency to overdo work when I just want it out of the way, but that leaves less room for me to write. Elizabeth is also understanding of my current situation, which means I am granted more flexibility if needed. Working on this documentary has been a dream, and I want to keep doing work like this in the future.

Overall, it’s been wonderful staying in Vietnam for five days. I’m definitely not ready to go home since I haven’t mastered the city yet. Is this how people feel about New York? There’s a stomach feeling that I think I’ll feel when I’ve done as much as I could here and will feel a need to pivot. Four months is my aim since that is about how long I stayed in Ghana. That would be the ides of March. 

It’s hard to identify specifically what I feel I want in this moment, about anything! My life looks so different right now that I cannot quite wrap my head around what is happening next. I probably feel this way because I am so used to having a plan and if I don’t have a plan, it feels like my life is going to poop. In due time! Patience! The pivots and instincts will come as they do!

[raptoreviews]

Top 10 Best Metal Songs of 2017

Now I know what you’re thinking:

“You don’t review music Raptor, what gives?”

Well, to put it simply, I’m a little disappointed with myself in the latter half of 2017, and I’m really wanting to get something out to you guy’s for the holiday season. And with that in mind, there’s nothing I love more than heavy metal music!

If you follow my twitter, you’ve probably seen some of my very snarky tweets at popular pop artists who, if you can’t tell, I’m personally not a fan of. So It always warms my cold blooded, reptilian heart to talk about my favorite genre of music, the heaviest of the metals. And despite my admiration of the art form, heavy metal has done almost exclusively nothing over the better part of the past year. But because I am your serpent-like messiah, I have found a wonderful selection for you. I hope your collective butts are ready for a blast, because this is:

My Top 10 Heavy Metal Songs of 2017

Number 10: Car Chase Club - Blue Stahli

Now you may call this one cheating, mainly because this song is more dubstep than it is metal, which is fair. However, my counter argument is simple. Heavy metal was doing almost nothing and I REALLY needed a number 10. Doesn’t hurt that this song is super good too.

When I’m looking at music for my leisure time, I like to look for songs with heavy drums and hard guitars, and this song delivers perfectly on both fronts. I’m really happy with how this one turned out and am excited to see what Mr. Stahli has in store for the future.

My one regret is that I REALLY needed a number 10 spot, so I really don’t have that much to say. The song is wicked. Go listen to it… Right now…

(I promise the other entries will be better!)

Number 9: Look What You Made Me Do - The Animal In Me

This cover is tight!

Now you need to realize, I HATE Taylor Swift’s newest gimmick of “Being the Bad Guy” for two reasons.

1. I don’t buy it.

2. I really don’t buy it.

But The Animal In Me? I TOTALLY buy it. They could convince me that they were doing this whole bad guy thing and I would be frightened, I would be running for the hills. They have an energy about them that adds to the song, taking a trash pop song making it horrifically effective.

The haunting lead vocals compliment the screaming of the chorus very well, and it takes a garbage song and pulls it into the best of the year. Rather impressive.

Number 8: No Grave But The Sea - Alestorm

I officially want every best of list to have at least one Alestorm song, and this one will do me fine.

Now what’s the song about? It doesn’t matter. It’s Alestorm, so the answer is probably pirate stuff, and that’s all I need! Alestorm are such an enigma of a talent that my year feels less fun when they don’t release something. So when they stop in, I always know I’m in for a wild ride with them.

They are silly in all the right ways, and embody everything I adore about metal. They are perfect in almost every way.

Number 7: Judgment Day - Dragonforce

Not gonna lie, I listened all three of the new singles by Dragonforce this year, and I wasn’t impressed. If Gamma Ray and Rhapsody of Fire hadn’t put out remaster’s this year, Dragonforce woudn’t be on the list. But, out of all of them, Judgment Day was the best.

It has the fastest, heaviest guitar of them all, and a very unique sound in comparison with the other two, or a lot of Dragonforce for that matter. But no matter how lackluster it is, Dragonforce is still awesome, no matter how bad they could be for the year.

No matter what, this song still rocks hard. And for all my complaining, it still is one of the best for the year.

But do you guys remember Gamma Ray? Those guys were rad!

Number 6: Dragonflies - Amberian Dawn

Well this one came out of nowhere. AND I LOVE IT!

If 2017 lacked in one thing, it was symphony metal. With only a few exceptions, I was very sad with the lack of Within Temptation this year, who would have been a shoe-in, but didn’t make anything this year. Bummer.

But hey, this song is still tight! With a powerful lead vocalist, shredding guitars and a ominous ensemble, Dragonflies was a surprise Christmas present that I will take arms open.

This song is so sick, I’m expecting these guys to be on the next years list.

Number 5: Burn Me - Xandria

Dang Xandria! What kind of talent enhancing substances were you guys on this year?

I mean, you guys had killed it in the past, but this album is so good! And this song is a personal favorite of mine.

As much as I love Xandria, they sometimes have a problem, that being that the music and vocals sometimes don’t mix very well. It’s still incredible, but not ‘Perfect’.

This, on the other hand, is perfect for both instrument and vocal. perfectly capturing the feeling of the songs tone, and the vocals are haunting in all the right ways. I adore this album and this song. It’s strangely upbeat, which I like.

Rock on Xandria!

Number 4: Unfaithful - Exit Eden

Pop quiz for you fans of symphony metal:

‘What is the most common theme for symphony metal songs?’

The answer? Fantasy. Lord of the Rings, Skyrim, Legend of Zelda, they all play into the idea that this sub-genre is all about fantasy with dragons and swords and princesses.

Not this one though.

Exit Eden, (Another band that came out of nowhere!) made a song about a very modern and real thing, cheating. And presented it with symphony metal to make a very harsh and real sounding experience, and in doing so, made a best of the year masterpiece.

This is not a happy song, but it is a killer one. And diffident best of the year.

Number 3: Fight Your Demons - Epica

I adore Epica. they were the ones who got me into metal in the first place, so I feel like I’m obligated to have somewhere on the list. And, it just so happens that they make a killer single for the number 3 spot.

Fight your Demons is everything I love about Epica, Simon Simons kills it with the vocals and the whole song has an intensity that I love. I made a tweet earlier in the year, saying that with Spotify on the Xbox, I was listening to Epica while playing Skyrim, and this song takes one of my favorite games of all time from a 10 to an 11.

No matter the climate and toxicity of modern pop and hip hop, I can always count on Epica to remind me of why I love music, and this song is no exception. Rock on you guys!

Number 2: Ride the Lightning - Halestorm

I have a bucket list. And with how morbidly obese I am, I’d better start working on that. But regardless, at the top of that list is to meet the people who have inspired me to pursue my dreams, and Halestorm is for sure one of them.

Now take them, and  have them cover some Metallica, and what do you get?

In a word: Ecstasy

This might be one of, if not my absolute favorite covers by Halestorm. It has all the the elements that I adore in metal, strong guitar, thumping drums and of course, vocals by the legend herself: Lzzy Hale.

And it does not go to waste. Masterfully re-mastering the metal classic in a new, yet faithful way. And no matter how good I make it sound, it sounds even better. It is perfect ear candy.

Halestorm killed it, and it was hard to not give them the number 1 spot… But…

Number 1: Legendary - The Unguided

Hey my dubstep fans, you guys remember when The Unguided were famous for the remixes by Zardonic? Well, this song, right here. It cements The Unguided as one of the best metal band ever.

This song is so good! Everything I love is here! Guitars, Bass, Drums, and killer Vocals!

And unlike the other songs on the list, the unguided genuinely sound like something new.

I didn’t know just how much I needed this song in my life, it is so good. Like, you should stop reading and go find this song online. it is worth it.

And that’ll do it! Thank you all so much for reading, and I know that this “Year of the Raptor” Update has been taking a long time now, but I’m slowly but surely working on it.

But still, I feel bad for not having anything for you guys for the latter half of 2017. Although, tune in Christmas, We- I mean I, should have something killer planed. So just hang out and I’ll see you on Christmas morning!

[alien-memes]

In ancient times, the Earth had visitors.

They are benign, filled with enough curiosity to motivate them to travel halfway across the galaxy to visit the first new lifeforms they had discovered in over 10,000 years. In their excitement, they forget to calculate variables; important variables that are a matter of life and death. Sometimes in the pursuit of science, one’s own mortality is not first on the priority list, you see. But these creatures are clever, and live by their spontaneity, and have developed multiple travel available failsafes.

Their spacecrafts are moveable laboratories, filled with more technological advancement than the human mind could ever hope to fathom. And on their way to Earth, a planet that to them is simply X-79 (a fantastic coordinate), they point their computers toward it, analyzing it for things like atmospheric chemicals, soil density, and water presence. 

While their machines do the work, the explorers on board (three in total) pour over the initial data: a simple picture of a scruffy bipedal creature in a field. There’s hope that there’s more than one. Many times they had gone on these long missions, only to find that the last of the species had died out before they got there. An average travel time of twenty years could do that sometimes.

A plus is if they’re sentient. It’s not important, though. These creatures are simply fascinated by the idea of /life/. Even after the hundredth time, it feels like the first - over a billion years ago - when they encountered their first otherworldly being. And even though they were now part of a thriving trade network with millions of other star systems, it was starting to feel incredibly lonely, thinking that the Universe had met its finite state and there was nothing else of interest. But the Universe was full of wonders, one of which was its ability to hide wonderful things deep inside its belly.

They go over the new data daily, gleefully filing away tidbits of information for trivial purposes. When the days comes, when they finally break atmosphere, they know enough about the planet to know that they don’t need space suits, for once. Their scaly skin dries up on most planets, but this sun seems especially kind toward reptiles. 

As they bask in the novelty of sunning on a foreign planet, their skin turn a litany of colors, starting with red and ending with ones not on the visible spectrum. Their tails wags, and their large eyes dart around the plant life swaying between their toes and above their heads. Of course, they knew about all this before they landed, but there’s something incredibly enchanting about experiencing something in the flesh.

Eventually, a drone reminds them of their task at hand, it’s quiet beeping reminding them that there’s much more for this planet to offer. The drone continues on its task; primitive in its own way, not really capable of speech nor intelligent thought, but two thirds of the party can still register cool annoyance from it.

“Always business with this one,” snickers the youngest member, Yon, one who isn’t used to the non-sentient drones and had a soft spot for this one in particular. The drone makes sweeping motions with its stunted arms, cataloging all the creatures captured in its red stare. It’s technically only looking for one in particular, but it’s still good information to have.

“Well, I guess that’s why he’s the best the Council could grant us,” says the most experienced explorer, Drita. It's true, the little drone is the best ever made, mainly because of its simplicity.

They walk for a stretch of time, the sun moving slowly through the sky. It’s off for them to see only one star, and if it wasn’t for their careful research, they would be tempted to risk retinal damage to search for another. It’s nearly gone by the time they stumble on an outcropping, in which the excited beeping of their drone goes erratic, flashing a blinding blue light in rapid succession that frightens their new discovery.

As the creatures huddle together, sharp objects poised in their hands, the lead scientist, Vilk, makes her way to the drone to dismiss it. A readout prints from the thin line that mimics a mouth. She takes it, but doesn’t read it, too busy making placating gestures with her hands. The drone makes a clicking noise, it’s eyes returning to it’s standby green before heeling next to the youngest. 

“Sorry about that, we didn’t mean to startle you.” The creatures don’t seem placated, but instead one of them tries to swipe at her. It’s only her forcefield that protects her from taking damage. She recoils regardless, and regroups a few steps back with the others. 

Drita is non-plussed. She takes the readings from Vilk’s lax hand, scanning them lightly. The basics she knows. The graph that shows the possible growth patterns, the pie chart that details their diet, and the oddest little chart she had ever seen at the very bottom. Yon leans over her shoulder, brow furrowing as he reads them over, only able to get the gist of what it says.

Drita wants to ask Vilk what this means, but the creatures have started screaming and Vilk seems shaken for some reason. This is neither of them’s first time, and attacking creatures was not exactly something novel. Perhaps such a long time away from new discoveries has softened Vilk. She gestures for them to retreat, if only to not stress the creatures even more. 

“Primitive,” Yon comments on their way back to their ship. “But their use of tools has to denote some sort of intelligence, right?”

Vilk manages to shake off her stupor enough to nod her head. “Yes, and they’re obviously social. I saw some young ones with them. Possibly even some sort of writing on the walls.”

She reaches for the paper, which confirms most of what she already figured out, but her eyes light up upon reaching the bottom. “Do you know what this is?”

“Not really,” says Drita. “Must be a recent update. Wasn’t around the last time I went on a mission.”

Yon shrugs. “Hey, this is my first time on a real outing.”

“This is meant to project their potential. It’s based on everything; evolutionary patterns, environmental factors, current progress, everything! See these bars?” She points to the six individual bars lining the bottom of the chart. “These represent progress in a hundred year intervals. According to this, there’s some pretty considerable growth expected each century.”

Drita took the scan back, taking a closer look at the extending bars, noting the significant jumps in scale between each one. “This seems like a pretty young species too. Looks like we’re witnessing the birth of an intelligent life form, my friends.”

“That’s never been heard of!” Yon took the paper excitedly, gleefully reading the data. “This is amazing! Just think of what this will mean for everyone back home.”

[brucebai]

How Tesla changed the auto industry forever

How Tesla changed the auto industry forever http://ift.tt/2vhX2ih

With the release of Tesla’s Model 3 tonight to the first 30 customers (really just Tesla employees, according to multiple reports), it’s easy to lose sight of how far this young automaker has come — and how much impact it’s had on the rest of the industry.

Most of the commentary around the Model 3 is focused on the stakes for Tesla, and many are parsing over every tweet by CEO Elon Musk for clues about the car’s cost, interior, and what sort of options will be available. But how has Tesla changed they way we shop for and drive cars? What realities about the nature of the business has it forced its competitors to face? Let’s examine this more closely:

Autopilot

When Tesla first released Autopilot in October 2015, Musk cautioned drivers to “be quite careful.” After all, this was the first time that semi-autonomous technology of this level was being offered in a commercial vehicle. Musk acknowledged that “some people” may take their hands off the wheel regardless, adding, “We do not advise that.”

He was right, of course. It only took a couple of days for YouTube to fill up with videos of Tesla drivers treating their cars like they were fully autonomous, sometimes with frightening results. The videos were proof that some people will always react idiotically when handed a new and powerful technology. And more than that, it sent a clear signal to the rest of the auto industry about the direction it was headed.

Of course, it wasn’t a fully autonomous vehicle in the vein of a Google car — the primary feature of Autopilot was what Tesla called Autosteer, which keeps the car in its current lane once you’re already on the road and manages speed and distance from the car ahead of it.

Autonomy wasn’t just science experiment being fussed over by a few Silicon Valley eggheads

Autonomy isn’t just a science experiment being fussed over by a few Silicon Valley eggheads. It is the end goal for all cars, and Musk was giving regular people their first taste. Since Autopilot’s first appearance, all the major automakers have announced their own plans to roll out semi-autonomous or highly automated systems. GM is equipping the Cadillac CT6 with Super Cruise. The Mercedes-Benz S-Class is getting Drive Pilot. Nissan has ProPilot. Audi says the new A8 will be Level 3 autonomous. And on and on.

With the release of the Model 3, the big question now is where Autopilot is heading. Last year, Tesla split with auto vision startup Mobileye and embarked on its own path toward automation. Since then, Musk has announced that all Tesla models will be equipped with technology to make them fully driverless. If there’s no update on the future of Autopilot at tonight’s event, it seems safe to assume that the departure of Mobileye was more damaging to Tesla’s project than the company is letting on.

Hands-free will soon be standard in most vehicles, with experts pointing to 2020 as the year we’ll start to see autonomous and semi-autonomous cars on the road en masse. But Tesla got there first.

Electrification

Much like Autopilot forced the big automakers to begin developing their own semi-autonomous systems, Musk’s commitment to bringing electrification to the masses proved to be equally influential. The success of the Model S and X, as well as Tesla’s stock valuation of $56 billion, served as a strong signal about the direction of the industry.

Musk was too successful in pushing his rivals to embrace electrification

One could argue Musk was too successful in pushing his rivals to embrace electrification. GM beat Tesla to the punch by releasing its mass-market EV, the Chevy Bolt, months before the Model 3. But Musk may still have a few tricks up his sleeve. Many will be watching to see whether the Model 3’s base model will have more or less range than the Bolt. Last year, Tesla said the car would run more than 215 miles per charge — but how much more? The Bolt gets 239 miles of range. That’s a lot for a base model, but Musk is hyper-competitive and not likely to let that slide.

By 2040, analysts now say that 54 percent of all cars sold on the planet will be electric. France’s environmental minister said yesterday his country would ban the sale of all fossil fuel-burning vehicles by 2040. The UK was quick to follow. And Volvo said it would stop selling gas-only cars by 2019. Welcome to the Tesla party.

Design

Photo by Amelia Holowaty Krales / The Verge

If you look at all the electric vehicles on the market today, they all sort of look the same… which is to say, not great. Most are squat, ugly hatchbacks with some odd design feature or accent. None have the smooth, sinuous look of the Model S, or the capacity for surprise like the Model X. The forthcoming Model 3 has been criticized as being the ugliest of Tesla’s three vehicles. But that hasn’t stopped nearly a half million people from forking over $1,000 in deposit to reserve one.

Electric cars are still very much in their infancy. Though they enjoy blanket media coverage (ahem, guilty), the EV market still has yet to take off. Sales of electric cars represent just 1 percent of the record 17.55 million cars sold last year in the US. And a recent survey of 2,500 American found that 60 percent were still “unaware of electric cars,” eclipsing concerns such as range or charging station availability.

Tesla made electric cars cool and desirable

But would as many of us be talking about electrification with the excitement and energy we are today had Ford or Nissan gotten to market first? Tesla made electric cars cool and desirable. By transforming its vehicles into rolling tablets, Tesla invited comparisons to that other manufacturer making consumer products so popular that people line up days before their release. (You know the one I’m talking about.)

Look inside a Tesla, and the comparison to Apple really comes into focus. Granted, other automakers haven’t made as bold a move as to replace the center instrument cluster with a 17-inch touchscreen tablet. But those other legacy automakers are burdened with decades of history. As noted by my colleague Lauren Goode in her review of the Model S, “Tesla came into existence at a time when this kind of in-car technology was foundational, not evolving.”

Software

Image: Tesla

This is where things get ominous. Tesla’s ability to update the software of its vehicles with over-the-air updates is probably the one thing that makes the rest of the industry highly vulnerable to obsolescence. Case in point (and apologies if this makes anyone feel old): the Model S launched five years ago, and there are still very few cars on sale today capable of delivering OTA firmware updates.

“They continue to sell vehicles that are incapable of learning and improving and are highly vulnerable to obsolescence,” said Morgan Stanley analyst Adam Jonas in a recent note to clients, according to Electrek. “Car companies have had ample opportunity to tear apart Model S’s in the lab. We suspect Tesla’s vertically integrated in-house software capabilities and its willingness to assume the risk of hacking make the difference.”

Of course, the legacy automakers are beholden to their franchise dealerships as both middlemen and service providers, which OTA updates would obviate. Tesla isn’t encumbered by these relationships, preferring instead to rely on direct sales to its fan base. This way it can fix bugs by pushing updates instead of relying on dealerships to service the vehicle. And software updates are easier to handle when you’re a boutique brand, while most big companies would confront challenges when scaling up.

The future

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Tesla has also helped define the outsized role Silicon Valley has come to play in the auto industry. Before Tesla, you could count the number of startups working on automotive technology on one hand. Now, every few months, a new “Tesla killer” emerges to make a grab at Musk’s crown.

Faraday Future, Lucid Motors, NextEV, and others are all trying to replicate Musk’s strategy by building luxurious (or in the case of FF, ultra-luxurious) electric vehicles, build a fan base, and then use the profits and capital to build a mass-market empire. Musk himself has only just reached that crucial stage now. Whether it will be successful will depend on a variety of factors, including his company’s ability to ramp up high-volume production to a level never before seen.

every few months, a new ‘Tesla killer’ emerges to make a grab at Musk’s crown

“Our goal when we created Tesla a decade ago was the same as it is today,” Musk wrote back in 2013, “to accelerate the advent of sustainable transport by bringing compelling mass market electric cars to market as soon as possible.”

Musk notes that it took considerable time and trial-and-error to get Tesla where it is today. “If we could have done that with our first product, we would have, but that was simply impossible to achieve for a startup company that had never built a car and that had one technology iteration and no economies of scale,” he said.

Musk disproved most assumptions about the near-impossibility of creating a brand new car company out of whole cloth. And then he went on to bend the entire industry to his vision of the future. Whether he can maintain his mission will depend entirely on the next few months and the rollout of Tesla’s next vehicle. Hyperloops and high-speed tunnels are just a distraction. Keep a close eye on the Model 3. It will tell us everything we need to know.

Source: http://ift.tt/2v7rGtU BruceFav Bloggers via Junyu's Recommendations http://ift.tt/1dtutOc July 29, 2017 at 10:32PM