#very bored. sorry for drawing myself 50 times

[futurama]

[demvalhaken]

I will eat your house

HOLY SHIT I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE 4 DAYS, SORYY GUYS IVE BEEN FOCUSED ON SCHOOL, I HAVE TO GET A VIOLIN PLAYING VIDEO IN BY FRIDAY AND I CANT EVEN PLAY THAT WELL DUDES!!! PRAY FOR ME GUYS, I CANT EVEN GET MY HOMEWORK DONE, I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!

Anyways Queen Bloodlust is a very large black widow cus her immortality causes her to never stop aging/growing… She used to be Divine’s height

Oh yeah if you didn’t read the older post about Bloodlust which is also buried in the termite post. Divine (Guy at the bottom right) is her great-great-great-fucking too many great grandson, he’s king of the spiders, they do not care if its a king or a queen, they are desperate

I’m like the hugest nerd ever, I watched an in depth video about cannibalism and then I proceeded to eat all of that information so I can babble to my friends that don’t even listen to me… I wish I could talk to people rather than somehow ruining my relationship with everyone, it’s giving Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives. There’s also like 100 Tyler, The Creator songs in my playlist, there’s a 50% chance after every song that it’s Tyler. It’s crazy how good I am at being lonely, like bro, why can’t I keep friends with me without doing something wrong… at least my teachers are nice to me :D

Wtf am I on, please don’t give me coffee, It brings the locked up depression out of my brain. I actually don’t think the depression left from Covid… I think it’s just been dormant… GUYS THIS MIGHT BE A HUNCH BUT I THINK IM NOT OKAY!!! Sorry if I go off track in literally every single post, my brain wanders too much. MY HANDS ARE SO FUCKING DRY, THEY BURN, THEY HURT, AND THEY ARE BLEEDING :( I’m still gonna wash my hands 40 times a day, no one can stop me

STOP YAPPING BRO THATS TWO PARAGRAPHS GET TO THE LORE

Queen Bloodlust misses her home because after a battle/war, they had to move, this was during the reign of Bloodlust’s mother, her mom died in the fight… poor Bloodlust, forced to live eternally and watch everyone around her perish slowly

All lore previously stated is subject to change as I’m always rethinking lore but it does stay fairly consistent and rarely changed unless its boring and bothering me

Okay love you guys, sorry for yapping, also be a menace to society, just don’t eat uranium

Edit:

Hehe reference, this was during the drawing, I got bored

Edit 2: Why are my parents always mad at me for washing myself constantly, like bitch what? You can’t just say “stop” and expect that one word to work, I’m just trying to keep some goddamn cleanliness! It’s like they want me to be covered in grime, dirt, spilled drinks, and grossness! Then they get to be homophobic and racist without any consequences when that’s literally worse than being clean 24/7 and tired. At least I actually like black people, we literally all have the same insides, stfu parents… ALSO THEY SAY THAT OFFENSIVE WORD, LIKE BRO WE ARE VAMPIRES YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT

[your-unfriendlyghost]

ur fav old car 3 2 1 go

THANK you for asking this is gonna be so fun (for me. And hopefully you. Idk if everyone else really wants to hear this but that’s their problem now)

It’s a tough question tho, ‘cuz there’s so many I like that it’s hard to say! Here’s a few in no particular order- but again I like a lotta old cars so it’s not gonna be an exhaustive list

(also btw none of the pics here are mine lol- every time I see a classic car I like irl, I always seem to be driving myself so I never can get good pics 😭)

The late 50s T-bird (I’m not crazy about the color of this one but hey it’s still really cool- dig the porthole window in the back)

2. The ‘67 Impala (fun dumb fact about me- I carry a toy impala in my school bag. When I get bored in class I take it out and either try to draw it or roll it at my friends to bug them)

3. Some early ‘70s Datsuns! These are harder for me to classify ‘cuz the models are given numbers, not traditional names, and I don’t always do so good with numbers lol. I think this one’s a ‘72 240C. But w/ these it’s not so much a specific model I like- I just like the vibes of most of the ones that look like this. (I saw one sorta like this one at a motor show once, I wish I had gotten a better picture- but I didn’t so take this one I found online lol)

4. The ‘58 Plymouth Fury- Very “Christine”, I know, but I can’t help it, she’s such a great lookin car holy hell. Plus I liked Plymouth furies before I knew they had anything to do with Stephen King ok (Funnily enough, a week or so before I wound up reading “Christine”, I saw one of these in a Dairy Queen parking lot. Me and my buddy got so hyped about it that I momentarily forgot that my kid brother had just dropped his melting cherry dipped cone directly onto my shorts)

Okay, that’s probably enough for now because tbh I’ve been having so much fun thinking about this that I’m about half an hour late for working out- There’s a lot more old cars that I adore and could ramble on about for hours, but I’d better wrap this up before I get more late/it gets too long lol. Thanks so much for asking!!

(And sorry to all y’all who follow me for art lol- what can I say, I may like to draw but I am still a teenage dude… I’m ✨multifaceted ✨)

[minevn]

(I'm sorry for the mistakes) Are you okay? Sorry to intrude, but I hope your mental/physical state is ok and you are taking good care of yourself! (^-^*)/

Hi! It's okay, thank you for asking! I typically like to do asks in order, but I thought this would be a good ask to kind of get things out there and talk about what's been going on with me and Mine!

As for if I'm okay, I don't really know. I can't say I'm okay but I know that it could be a lot worse(because I've felt way lower then this before) I'm not really sure how to take care of myself other then repressing things but I am seeing a therapist and we've been talking about how to handle my emotions as they come. I do wish that I was able to see a therapist before my repressive coping habits took over but due to circumstances I'll get into later I just wasn't able to.

As for Mine stuff, I am still very slowly but surely working on my asks. I do have a few done but once again I like to answer my asks in order. Last night I thought it would also be smarter to do my asks backwards from how I've received them so that way I could just que them all up instead of writing the first ask I got and then lacking motivation and ideas for the later asks. I guess rn I'm going through a bit of writers block? I think it's that mixed with my extreme lack of motivation. As for my event, I have thought about lowering the number and then raising the numbers again for a later milestone! I tend to always put a lot on my plate and 50 requests may have been a bit more then what I could handle as of now. Another thing as well is that even though I love drawing, I don't draw super often. I get hit with random waves of motivation and it's very easy for me to lose that motivation. So I have the sketches mostly done for the drawing requests I've gotten, but if I have no motivation to draw then the drawings turn out looking wonky and just all wrong and then I'm no longer proud of them. I still plan on doing the events and I'm so sorry that my lack of motivation happened like as soon as I hit 100 followers, It doesn't feel fair to you all but I seriously cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Everyone has been so nice and no one has come into my dms rushing me with anything, seriously thank you all so much for that! Another thing as well is that Mine is not my only story, if you follow my main account I have most of my stories listed there and there's like over 50 stories. it's like that because I have so many ideas but once again I lose motivation so easily, and as mentioned earlier I like to put a lot on my plate, I don't like to just work on one story at a time and it causes me to get burnout which I'm sadly going through with Mine. I was answering asks nonstop when I got them, getting asks motivated me to get up out of bed, I was so happy and overjoyed to get asks, and don't get me wrong I still am! I love getting asks and seeing what ideas you want me to write for, although I was also overwhelmed at first, I had gotten so much support which I hadn't expected to ever. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to like my stuff but I was ready to still work on Mine because I work for ME. But I wasn't happy with how the sprites were turning out, I wasn't getting inspiration for any music soundtracks, and I'm struggling on the script, I've got Minato's week planned mostly but it just feels so BORING! He's the first route, it needs to drag you in a bit more. So far there's been like no yandere tendencies which sure maybe that fits for Minato, but I'm just not proud of it at all so I need to rewrite Minato's week planning. The more I wrote asks the more I felt disconnected to these characters, it felt like I wasn't writing them like I was before, which I tried telling myself that it was fine because when I first made this blog Mine hadn't even been in the process for a year and I thought we could go through developing these characters together, but it just didn't feel right. I also started to dislike their designs. I felt that I had designed more interesting characters before and they just felt so boring, I like their hair and faces, mainly clothes design is where it felt lacking. Jun, Aki, and Yani have the designs I like the best honestly, their clothes feel more intricate.

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I'm going to go a bit more in depth with things, sorry for the long post! You don't have to read what below if you don't want to, it mostly explains more of what's been happening with me, but I've also touched on a lot of my reasons for not posting above! Honestly I lot of it is venting, so please don't read if you're struggling with any below!

TW FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEATH, ABUSE(?), MENTAL ILLNESSES

So a couple years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I didn't really understand it, like it didn't feel like it's affected me that much but I've learned a lot more about it and can definitely see in which ways it has impacted me. When I started Mine I wasn't exactly in a high state of Mine but getting asks and seeing people like my work for once in my life really raised my moods, but I really struggle with staying happy. No matter how much I want happiness to stay, it always leaves. Right now I'm going through one of my lows. Honestly, I typically ignore my lows the best I can, It sometimes work and sometimes it doesn't, this is one of the times where I can't repress my feelings, and as mentioned earlier I do think a part of it is because I've been talking to my therapist about embracing the negative feeling, admit that I'm not happy and work through it instead of hiding it. Not that I blame my therapist, I'm really hoping that it works and I'm choosing to listen to my therapist because I want to get better, honestly I could've ignored everything she told me and kept repressing my feelings but I want to be happy so I'm really trying to embrace the fact that I'm not okay and work through it! I don't know how long this low will last, but when I get out of this low I want to work on Mine and get the same excited and happy feelings I had when I first started. Mine might go through some changes but overall I want these characters to have the same personalities and backstories, the only thing that might change with them is their clothes.

Along with my bipolar disorder, I've been diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features, anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. Needless to say these all impact me greatly. The lack of motivation, struggling to get up out of bed or go to sleep at a normal time, and even eating and drinking and going to the bathroom. I've always found it easier to take care of others rather then myself because that's just how I was raised. To always put others above myself. As I've gotten older I realized that that's not how that should work, but it was already pushed into my brain and I still struggle to take care of myself. I'm always stressed, can't sleep right and I can't wake up before 5pm. Sometimes I'll sit in one spot, fidgeting while I wait for some motivation to strike. But I can't even think because of course when I think my mind never goes to good things. Thoughts about just wanting to give up(Which don't worry too much, I won't do it, even if the thoughts get to be too much), my repressed memories coming back, mom and her death and neglect before dying, dad and his temper tantrums, my grandma and how she's one of the only people in my life to care and love me, and how I wish I could talk to others easily but of course my mind gets fuzzy and I can't speak and how almost all of my friends have left me, how I feel defective and unlovable. The thoughts don't stop, every time it just gets worse and worse and I can't stop questioning what I did wrong and why no one wants to be my friend. People just use you and then toss you out when they're done and it's so cruel, I want someone who actually wants me in their life and who values me as much as I value them, someone who treats me like a person with actual feelings rather then a robot or an object. But it's so hard to find people like that, as I said there's a lot of cruel people out there and to those who aren't cruel I have a hard time trusting them due to past experiences and I know it's not fair to those kind people but gosh being vulnerable is so hard. And I know it's really early to question if I'll ever meet anyone I can trust 100% because I'm only 18 but gosh do I know about death, I know that death doesn't care about your age. I could die later tonight or sometime this week or next month or maybe I do die in many years, but then what about the people I meet and value, will they be taken away from me as well? Do I want to put my heart on the line just to end up losing them eventually? Could I handle another death? I don't know? I really don't, It already hurts to think about losing my sister and my bestest friend in the entire world, I'm already so lucky to have them in my life, what if I lose them too?

I'm going to start getting into things that I didn't get into earlier this post. I put it down here because it might be triggering and I didn't want anything too sensitive to be at the beginning, I want people to be able to skip this stuff for their own mental health. As mentioned earlier I wasn't able to get therapy for a bit because I didn't have a legal guardian. My mother passed when I was 11 and I've never met my biological dad. My sister I mentioned earlier is my half-sister(I call her sister cause it's easier and no matter what she's still my sister) and her dad took me in very shortly after my mother had passed(I won't be calling him my stepdad, once again because it's easier to just say dad and no matter what he's still my dad, no matter what grudges I have against him) Anyways I didn't have a legal guardian for 6 years, finally getting adopted in January. I had no insurance as well(Btw I don't blame my dad for any of this, he kept getting scammed by the shitty lawyer. So yeah I couldn't get therapy and well I learned how to repress my feelings because of my dad, because y'know he can throw tantrums and be angry and cry all he wants but god forbid someone else is angry or sad. Looking back at it though, mom played a part as well, she just neglected me and didn't give a shit and I learned that no one cares about me.

On a lighter note because gosh I need it. I don't plan on going until I get out all or most of my stories! But my stories have a lot of morbid themes and concepts. One because me too, but I still think it's important to touch on things I haven't been through because others might have and it's a morbid world. I want those people who feel alone in this world to feel seen and heard. Abuse does happen, death happens, suicide is very real, hate crimes happen every day and yet I feel people don't talk about it as much as they should. Like sure the topic will blow up, but after like a couple weeks or months, boom it's forgotten and that's just...wrong. I plan on making it very clear that the topics I write about in my stories are not meant to idolize or romanticize these topics or to make jokes at them, it's just that messed up things do happen. I know how it feels to be and feel alone, like no one will ever understand what you've been through, and I want my stories to be some kind of comfort for those people. I'll put clear disclaimers and tw's on my games and stories so those who don't want to witness that stuff can avoid it. I understand that as well! Like yeah the world is messed up but I already go through that and I don't want to see it in media and stuff, I've definitely been there too. I think I want my games to encourage people who might be struggling to not give up though! You see these characters go through something tough but they're still alive and they get there happy ending(Though not all of my stories have happy endings)

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. If any of you are struggling with anything mentioned above, I hope you're able to get help, please don't give up, you're important! Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[kxmikomrade]

(sorry if this is funky im a lil frazzled rn, we just got back from a 12 day trip and i almost got hit by a car lmao)

hmm hmm hmm i gotta question for you kim

am inquiry

uhh

thats the only synonym I know lol

bUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT

YOU, MY FRIEND, SAID THAT U WANTED PERSONA FIVE

or four I forget-

does that mean u got a switch

bc if yes i would like to yoink ur friend code

and i would also totally buy persona for you as a gift but sadly I cannot :(

everyone is telling me to stop spending so much time and money on gifts for friends BUT I'VE NEVER SPENT MORE THAN 50 USD AND THE LONGEST TIME I'VE EVER SPENT ON ONE WAS THREE MONTHS

also how are you

having a dandy ol day

a good time

if not i hope i can make you feel better with this little silly message :)

silly message :)

SHROOMMMMMMM I HOPE UR DOING ALR ALSO THATS CRAZY MAN 😭😭

Also yeahh :DD i wanna try persona; 5 royal sum day bcs the storyline and gameplay seems cool and smth i wont get bored of

noppee :'D i dont have a switch, im too broke for it LMAO but one day i'll get myself one if i can save up enough from comms if anyone would even bother commissioning me 😭

NONO DONT BE SORRY THATS LITERALLY ALR SO SWEET AS IT IS 🥹🫶🫶🫶

LMAO SAMEEE except its drawing arts for them :D ive been doing it since i was a kid since i just rlly like giving in general ^^ my mom once said im 'gifted' for doing it, until this day, i dont get wat she means by that IHGHJHGGHJK

IM DOING FINE :DD gonna go back to school very soon so theres that, hbu???

TYSM AGAIN FOR TAKING THE TIME TO CHECK IN ON ME <33 make sure to take care of urself too!! ^^

[courtofmatchups]

I���m genuinely curious to see who I would get(you can be honest dw 💀) so can I please get a matchup? (Not Jasper tho 😟)

Also I’m really sorry if this is horrible at explaining-

I would say I’m a nice person and when I first meet people or don’t know others I’m pretty quiet but after the first few times I’m pretty chill

I tend to think more logically more often then not unless I’m with my friends and having fun then I sometimes forget

I’m willing to learn things though it takes me a few(hundred /j) times to memories things but all in all I memorize things somewhat quickly after some practice

I’m a great listener and I enjoy writing and sometimes even reading and on a rare occasion drawing(even though it sucks-), I also very much enjoy making up scenarios for random writing prompts/stories and I even imagine myself in them haha

I like sweets but I don’t eat them much

I like jokes and pranks(particularly doing them) and I even find it funny to scare people(it happens unintentionally like 90% of the time 💀) sometimes(I do it rarely tho)

I’m actually pretty quiet some(like 50%) of the time and people have actually forgotten I’m there so ig that’s another thing LMAO

I really like kids and am not that bad at taking care of some. Kids also like me a lot of the time(I chase them around and they find it funny)

I’ve been described as chaotic fun by friends and I’m also a hugger after I get to know people enough haha(I also have a tendency to jokingly steal things from my friends like their glasses and hats and put them on then run when they try and get them back LMAO)

I don’t have a single coherent thought in my head

Absolutely none /hj ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

I’m sorry if this is bad please take your time-

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

It seems you have captured the heart of

The Devious Libertine

Fenn Luxure!

Fenn, Fenn, Fenn. It seems he met his match when he first became friends with you. He likes that you seem like a nice person, and as he grew closer to you he came to appreciate the chaos you bring. Heck, he'll even join you in it. Expect to play pranks on each other and on your friends

Fenn likes the fact that you are such a good listener and will enjoy talking to you. Also, he likes the fact that you like to write, too. Your process of formulating these stories is fascinating to him, and perhaps he might even ask for your input when he decides to write a new novel.

Now, if being good with kids isn't simpable as hell to Fenn, He doesn't know what is. He'd probably see you reading to some kids at a local library or something to that equivalent, and the way the kids are totally entranced by you is something he'd never tire of seeing

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Writer's block. It's every writer's worst enemy. Now here Fenn is, slumped at his desk at his mental limit. Sitting around idly won't get the creative juices flowing, so he decides to see you.

Fenn: Treeaasuure~

You: Hey, Fenn. What's up?

Fenn: I am incredibly bored right now, and I would like your company

You: ...Writer's block?

Fenn nods

You: Let's go into town together. Maybe going out will help you clear your mind

Fenn: A capital idea! Actually, there's a new import of wine from Luxure, let's get some

Your day in town was a fun one to be sure. Some children you had read to had come up to you. They caught up with you and Fenn to chat a little bit. The way their eyes lit up as they spoke to the two of you made Fenn smile a little bit. It was simply small talk, but he felt something spark in his mind

Soon your conversation ended and the children's parents came to pick them up, and then the two of you headed on your way to get a bottle of wine to share.

You made some more stops to shop for some things before going back to the academy. Fenn had an idea for a storyline with a character based on you, so he asked you to help him "act out the plot" if you will.

Thanks to your help, he was able to actually write out the story. After a few months of drafting, his new novel came to print, and it seems like it was becoming quite the hit. This was a victory he dedicates to you

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

[pissmd]

ok im so sorry for continually asknig you how in the hell you draw so good but how in the hell do you draw hair specifically so good ok thank you <3

no its no problem at all! hair IS a tricky one, i still struggle a lot with it myself, and up until recently i HATED painting hair it wasnt until using SU-Cream Pencil that i figured out a way to detail strands in a way that worked with my semi-realistic style. (you can actually see in my art tag the difference in the way i paint hair, my first wilson painting is the first time i used that brush, everything before it i hadnt) sometimes it is a matter of finding the right brush for the job but i’ve never used brushes solely made for painting hair, like those ones that look like lines made by a rake? i find those kinds of brushes totally egregious and deeply unhelpful for actually painting hair realistically.

my first piece of advice for hair, and really for painting in this kind of style is that the goal is to make it look Convincing. it does not have to be 1:1 with the reference and you’d be setting yourself up for an impossible task anyways in trying to do so. there’s also the fact that overdetailing hair Can end up reaching a level of uncanny valley very fast, which is honestly never appealing. multiple times i’ve found i’ve added too many strands and had to paint over it and try again while limiting myself to how many fine details i can add.

to gauge where you’re overdetailing you really can use your reference to point towards where exactly the most visible strands of hair are and where it sort of all blends in together. really you can get away with very little detail in some chunks and it will make your art look way more convincing. for example my house art you can see that by the left side of his temple theres a chunk of dark greyish-blue that washes out all detail. compare that to the right side of his hair that has the highest level of detail. you can still see that there are small chunks in the right side where theres very little detail (like the triangular chunk just above his ear), just to ensure there’s a balance of detail in order to prevent it crossing into the uncanny valley.

you can even see i have that same effect in his face if you can compare the left and right side of his forehead and the level of detail in his wrinkles. the way the grooves of his wrinkles stop as it moves into the shadowed part of his face. you can understand he hasnt like deaged in the shadows its just about understanding what level of detail Should be visible as dictated by the light. you can also see this effect if you compare the wrinkles under his left eye and right eye, as well as the difference in levels of detail in his stubble on the left side of his face compared to the right.

so getting back to hair specifically, and ensuring it looks convincing enough, is i would say the way i paint hair is 50% planning/following the reference and 50% bs.

the way i start with the planning part of hair is with a really blocky sketch which just begins with planar boxes of how the hair flows and breaks into segments, its really just breaking down the existing reference into the simplest shapes possible.

next is i then draw a more detailed sketch above the original simple sketch where i add more detail. you can see in the image below the level of detail i get to on my second sketch as compared to my original sketch. i dont go too detailed because i will use this second sketch on a layer with lowered opacity above my painting layer as a guide to begin my painting. if its too detailed it’ll confuse me, but if it’s not detailed enough it’ll be more difficult figuring out where to put what colour.

since i start painting after this i’d like to start by saying how i make my colour choices in the first place. since i have limited images i can use in a tumblr post i won’t show examples but i suppose mostly everyone can gather that the real life references we use tend to have a lot of muddy, dark (and boring) colours that dont translate well in painting. i avoid this in two major ways.

the first is i always edit the colours in my reference image. any program will do, i personally use video star to edit my colours but that isnt an app available to everyone and i really wouldnt specifically recommend using it unless you already owned it and liked using it. im just mentioning it because it is what i use to edit colours. btw before video star i used to use prequel, another app that can edit colours. u can just as easily edit saturation and colour levels etc in just about any image editing software or art program.

the other way i avoid using muddy colours is by colour picking then manually altering the colour-picked colour so that it’s brighter and more saturated, and sometimes by sliding the hue just a little. this is really broad advice of course but hair colour is tough to get right (especially blonde hair tbh).

another little tid bit more correlated to choosing hair colour is when im in the early part of my painting process im thinking already about how i’m ensuring the hair blends into the face easily. to achieve this i like to blend in the colours i've use in his face, into areas like the fringe and sideburns. you can see underneath in the right image that wilsons sideburn ends in more of a pinkish colour compared to the rest of his hair.

my next step is blocking out the colours of the hair based on the sketch and the reference. it’s important to start as broadly as possible, like for example, you can see i’ve got big dark chunky shapes where wilsons hair parts in both images below. the immediate simplified shapes dont have to be largest shapes just shapes that do the most work in defining the shapes of his hair. like for instance in the right image below, you can see in wilsons fringe, that theres a singular bright gold thin strandlike stroke, and its just a really simple stroke but it does a lot of work in defining the shape of the chunk of his fringe.

another thing i wanted to mention is the way i block fringes. you can see in the right image above that his fringe is completely solid. i just start with as broad and simple a shape as possible and dont worry about individual strands of the fringe this early on in the process. the left images fringe also looked as solid as the rights, but i didnt have an image of the part of the process before i started blending his fringe in with his forehead.

in the image below you can can compare the fringe to the image above, and see where i've begun blending it into his face with the colours from his forehead. it's important i think to mention again i'm an artist who uses separate layers to paint on instead of just the one layer. so the hair layer that i'm painting on is transparency locked. it really ensures i keep the shape of his fringe intact to paint this way.

you can see above as well that at that point i had begun adding individual strand detailing into his hair. and really at this point this is where you have to use your own sense to decide what details get the shape of the hair across, this is the bs'ing part where i am using my reference as a guide to how my subjects hair works but not trying to be so overly precise as to kill myself with impossible perfection. you can probably see the that even though im painting what looks like strands its not anywhere near as thin as what itd realistically be like. i think making sure your brush isn’t too thin helps a lot in avoiding the uncanny valley. if you look closely at the image i have of house at the top too, you can see that i never go too thin with the details there either.

transitioning into the fine details is just making sure to work in sections that i've defined by my largest shapes. i'll show a few process shots of a wilson painting and you might be able to spot how i go from a larger shape of the hair to smaller detailing.

im at my limit for images so i couldnt show all of my process shots for his hair but you can kind of see how systematic my approach is, how i go to a chunk of basically defined hair, and then add the finer detailing to it bit by bit.

lastly i’ll just mention i use two different brushes for hair. i use analog anabelle (which is part of the frenden brush pack) for the big basic shapes, and then i use SU-Cream Pencil for the finer details. you don’t have to use the same brushes as me but the main difference in these two and how they’re useful in my process is the amount and the type of texture in the brushes. analog anabelle has a subtler papery texture, but the cream pencil has sort of a hard pixelly effect to its texture? and i find that the heavier texture of the cream brush gives an illusion of detail without me putting in the hard work of actually painting it.

if you go into my art tag and find a painting titled ‘kiss from a rose’ you can see i used a soft untextured brush for sevens hair, and it doesn’t look anywhere near as realistic as the hair im painting now. i’m sure other artists can use soft brushes to detail hair well but i personally have no idea how to do that so i’d 100% recommend playing around with textured brushes and seeing what works for you👍

so sorry if any of this sounds like gibberish, again, i really do love talking about my process so i would 100% welcome more questions if any of this was unclear!

[dadkisser15]

I’m actually going to cry why do I miss him so much right now ☹️

He’s asleep and I don’t really want to sleep yet because I want to speak with him but I’m just doomscrolling on TikTok as one does and I decided that I missed his face and opened up my camera roll and he sent me this picture that his brother took of him sleeping earlier and it’s just so cute. Oh there’s tears in my eyes I really really like this man ,,,,,

He just looks so beautiful, he wouldn’t believe me if I told him that but I really do just adore his features. (If we had kids oh my godddd. I know that’s crazy that I’m even thinking that but I CANNOT HELP MYSELFF!!!) I love his eyes and his long lashes, I love his beautiful brown hair (especially when it’s messy) , his cute scruffy facial hair and his side burnnsssssssss. Oh and his nose, especially in the picture i mentioned earlier ohhhh my gosh it just looks so amazing. He dislikes his nose so much and constantly makes jokes about reducing the size of it and it upset me a lot because I really do believe it’s beautiful. To me it’s like a work of art, when I was doing more character art my favorite thing to draw was noses !! His nose shape was literally my favorite type to draw and I feel like that makes him very special. Like, wow this boy I’m insanely infatuated with is quite literally a work of art. I’m still looking at the picture and I didn’t mention earlier but I love his cute little mustache, everytime I look at it I just wonder how it would feel to his him and feel that brush against my lip, would it even? I’m not sure, I kinda forgot how it feels like to kiss someone but I’d love to relearn with him. That feels a tad inappropriate to say but I really do feel that way. I’m not feeling really sad anymore but I’m also just upset by the fact that I was even missing him even though I spoke to him a couple hours ago. He literally told me before going to bed not to miss him too much and i thought to myself, “that’s silly, it’s just a couple hours and I’ll be fine” and I hate to say it but he was right. I hate how he knows how my brain works, well.. I don’t hate it. It’s just embarrassing how predictable I am, maybe I’m just boring but who reallly knows.!!! Oh and I was so upset because he left me on sent for a little while see actually I’m okay with that but I just didn’t know what he was doing and that was upsetting me and because I didn’t know my brain immediately jumped to overthinking so I kinda just upset myself. I know verrry dumb but that’s just how I am, I’m always just thinking of the what’s if and I made myself feel bad for no reason. Maybe I do need a lobotomy but what if my overthinking was right. What do I do then!!!!! Be the other woman ? FUCK NOOOOOO !!!!!! I’d rather get stabbed in the arm five times in the same spot okay wait that actually sounds deranged but listen I just would not like being a second option or some stupid shit like that and my insecurities are just jumping out at me and making me think I am but guys, wtf do I do actually if I am ??? 😨 KMS??? That’s also crazy and dramatic so no but I pray that this boy is not trying to do me dirty because I think I’d genuinely lose my mind. Can we just eviscerate all his female friends? Like genuinely, just treat them like fish or something idk 😜!! Sorry thatsss meannnnnn. He can have female friends i guessss 😒. I personally believe they shouldn’t be doing no corny shit with my boy though like cutesy nicknames or making them match with him like FUCKKKKNOOOOOOOOOO .!! 😭😭😭 THAT ALONE IS 50 FUCKING BODIES.

50 FUCKING BODIES !!!!

Kidding, I can’t do shit about that except SEETHE and that I will do!! I’m currently seething thinking about it right now. God, liking a boy with female friends is not for the weak because I am the weak and I cannot take this. Maybe it’s all the over thinking but this shit making me feel sick to my stomach.hhhhh. Oh my god can god take me right now because the thoughts that are going through my head right now might make me just pass away rn to just meeet him. Oh I wanna cry! WHATEERVEVEGER I’ll stay jealous, mad and seething like crazy. I just wish I could have him in my arms and just have him as mine. If he gets tired yeah he can leave but for now I’d just like to have him. Like ohh calm down guys you can have him back after like 2 weeks just let me have him for a while!!! I just want to treat him good and make him feel good. Ohhhhh guys don’t start throwing up pitchforks just because I want to keep him busy for a while, yall will get him back don’t worry 😒. Jeeeeezzzzzzus! Okay I thought that bit was funny. I’m not saying he should isolate himself or anything but like guys do we need female friends 🙄🙄🙄. Joking JOKINGG PUT THE PITCHFORKS DOWNN GUYS IT WAS A JOKE!!! Anyways I should conclude this dumb rant because nothing about this will change and I will forever be salty. OH MY GOD salty is the perfect way to describe how I’ve been feeling!! It’s like I’m jealous but I can’t do shit so all I can do is let this feeling linger and be salty because I’m very non confrontational at times and especially when I don’t want to be verbal about my feelings. OHH LINGER BY THE CRANBERRIES

DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGERRRRE DO YOU HAVE. TO LET IT LINGERRRR

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

This is an introduction about me which was supposed to be short but my talkactive ass has been wanting to overshare things lately so here we go..🐝

🌻 My name is Aurora and this is not my birth name but just my English nickname.

🌻 I'm from Myanmar (Burma) and it's situated in South East Asia and it is surrounded by Thailand, Laos, China, India and Bangladesh.

🌻 I'm half Burmese and half Chinese but I can only speak Burmese and English.

🌻 I am about to be a medical student in a few months because our course is not going to be started yet till about December.

🌻 My personality type is INFJ-T.

🌻 I am a Buddhist (Theravada).

🌻 I started to learn astrology in August 2021, so it's only been a year. I love astrology so much because it gives me insights about who I actually am and it motivates me in some type of way and I can also know more about people by looking at their natal charts lol 😂 and it gives me happiness overall.

🌻 I don't like any sports but I played Karate in the past. I also rarely move except the times I do workouts which are also very inconsistent.

🌻 I can't play any musical instrument because my parents never allowed me to but if I had a chance, I would love to learn how to play a piano.

🌻 I love to dance, write down my thoughts and sometimes short stories or journal prompts, binge watch movies, read fictions, meditate and take photos of the nature and everything that I find beautiful.

🌻 I have a huge affection for art and paintings though I can't draw and my favourite type of art is Renaissance art.

🌻 I also love to travel A LOT whether it's a short trip or a long one and my favourite country is currently Italy. I also LOVE spaghetti. I also love to drink wine and cocktails.

🌻 I love learning about astronomy, space, black hole and galaxy. I also love to read about Greek and Roman mythology and goddesses. I also love to read about sirens, mermaids, unicorns, fairies, elves and other mystical mysterious creatures. I am also fond of reading the articles about life cycle, reincarnation and a collection of "what if" questions. I love to read about manifestation, spirituality, subliminals and astral projection things. To be honest, I love reading about almost everything unless it's too boring and ordinary.

🌻 I would love LOVE to learn tarot but my mental stability is saying a big NO and my mom won't also let me buy a tarot deck too even if I'm willing to strengthen my intuition and pay for the deck. I also love to collect crystals but I don't have one yet.

🌻 I am a pinterest whore and I stay very low key on social media apps because of some reasons. I hate tiktok because of its bad influence on people with those dangerous trends (sorry tiktok lovers 🥺) and my favourite apps are of course pinterest and youtube.

🌻 My current favourite series is Baby (Italian) and my current favourite songs are Cola by Lana Del Rey, Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper and Sugar Daddy by Qveen Herby.

🌻 I love Marilyn Monroe and Megan Fox. They two are literally my idols (not an idol but I just want to be their friend which is really weird). I have a special love for Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Lana Del Rey, Melanie Martinez and Grimes. I also would love to be friends with Grimes because she has so many interesting things to share in my opinion. 😹💕

🌻 My favourite aesthetic is Fairycore. I love Hippie outfits. I also love 50s hollywood vibes because they give me nostalgia.

🌻 I am a Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising, Cancer Venus, Cancer Mercury and Aries Mars. I have a cancer stellium (Mercury, Venus and Saturn) and 12th house stellium (Sun, Mercury and Venus).

🌻 My dominant planets are Moon, Saturn and Uranus (in astroseek) and Moon, Mercury and Mars (in astro.com) but I resonate more with the one from astroseek because saturn conjuncts my ascendant and I think I can never identify myself as a Mercury and Mars dominant.

🌻 Oh wait, this blog's big 3 are Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon and Leo Rising and has a 9th house stellium and a Taurus stellium. This might sound crazy but yeahhhh..umm 😭😂

That's all and thank you for reading my long ass introduction if you read it! ❤️

Masterlist✨

[livvynka]

Can i get your vote? Kamilah x Amy x Priya AU

Warning: SMUT, death threatening, harsh sexual activities, Angst, Putting Kamilah in her place, bit of a fluff?

I’m not native english speaker, feel free to correct me (i would be actually glad).

NOTE: Story is before Kamilah and Amy fall in love, when Amy tries get Priya's vote, so Lily can join Adrian's clan. Uff, this takes a lot from me. :D

Pairing: Kamilah x Amy x Priya

About 2430+- words.

Tag list: @fal-carrington @samanthadalton @vonda-b-real @drmmyrs @straightlikewetspaghetti @blaine-hayes @lizielasyd @mrskamilahsayeed @millasayeed @ntoraplayschoices @ilove-kamilah-sayeed @kamilah-is-queen @rhonda-sayeed @queenkamilah @domakir @kwaj115 @fundamentalromantic @somethindarker @crimsonvrose @glowriter @leenasayeed

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Amy has goosebumps just from the thought, she needs to visit and get to the good side of Priya's. She knows Priya is evil, and every good thing in her died a long time ago. But there is no way Kamilah or Adrian could break her so she does something nice for them. They are sitting in Adrian's office. Brainstorming plan how to get 4 votes, so Lily can live. Amy: "Alright, I pay her visit." Kamilah shoot stare to Adrian. Kamilah: "She's your pet. I don't care. But she gets all of you into this mess, so she needs to fix it." Adrian: "Kamilah be reasonable, she will not come back alive. You know Priya and her ´activities´..." Amy: "Kamilah is right. And there is no other way. She will send you to the hell in the moment you set your foot to her club."

Adrian: "No! We will find another way, I will not let anything to happen to you." Amy: "Maybe we will, but it will take a long time. And now, time is what we don't have. I already decide Adrian. And you cant change my mind. I'm going with or without your help." Kamilah: "Amy, she is going to break you. Don't underestimated her. Not every vampire is in control like us and our clans." Amy: "Now you care? You threaten to kill me, Kamilah! You can go back to your office, because you are not helping." Amy stands up and starts walking towards door. She stops with her hand on the handle. She takes a few deep breaths. Then she looks over her shoulder. Adrian put his head into his hands. He shakes his head and nod. Adrian: "We send someone, who will watch you from distance. If anything goes wrong, they help you." Kamilah straighten her back, clears her throat and began walk towards Amy.

Kamilah: "I'll escort you to her club. We need to talk privately." Adrian look between Amy and Kamilah with questions in his eyes. He feels there's great tension between them. He just don't know what kind of tension. It seems he wants to say something, but he just look to the opposit direction. Amy: "Great.. Yeah.... Thank you..." They got into her car. Kamilah drives Amy to the Paulus viewpoint. Kamilah exit the vehicle first, she opens doors for Amy and offers her hand. Amy decline and burst out of the car. Amy: "Why did you take me here? I need to meet with Priya! If you want to kill me, do it! Enough of your threats and shit talking about me all the time."

Kamilah: "You may be right, mortal. I don't care about you. But Adrian likes you. So listen to me, I will not repeat myself. I will help you out of this situation, who if I remember, you cause. But if this doesn't work out, and Adrian loses his life, because you put your con act and manipulate him to turn Lily. I'll kill you both without any hesitation." Amy is stressed out. Angry. Scared for her, Lily's and Adrian's life. This was the last button to push. She doesn't care if more than 2000 years old, strongest vampire on the earth, who can snap her neck in the velocity of light, stands before her. She slaps her hard and pushes her. Again, and again and again. She pinned Kamilah to the railing. Amy: "Ohh, really, Kamilah? Than do it, kill me! You are full of the bullshit! Drop this nonsense! You are hiding behind coldness, strength and rudeness. But we both know where is the truth! Deep inside, you are scared little girl, who is afraid of people leaving you, after they get to know real you! You are lonely and scream for the attention, affection and love! Deep inside, you want someone who will care about you, who will see the real you! Who will get you and stand by your side. So NO! I'm not afraid you. You care about people. Adrian may be the last being who likes you, and you know it. So you are losing your control, because he is the only hope for your humanity. Only thing which puts you in the line. The last thing to stops you from being monster. Be honest for second and show me some damn respect!" She catches Amy's hand when she wanted to push her again. Her jaw drops. She is right and they both now it. She stands there in shock.

Kamilah: "I-I..."

Amy: "That's what I though."

Amy free her hands from Kamilah's strong grasp and start walking towards the city. It's a few miles. This is going to be a long walk, but Amy doesn't care. She needs to clear her head. She feels connection towards Kamilah, but she is tired of her act and manipulation. Kamilah feel how tear slides down her cheek. Reality falls apart and she remembers how she sits alone in her pentahouse or office, trying to drink her mind off. She prohibited herself any kind of connection after what she done in past. After so much pain she causes.

After centuries someone sees through her like she was a plate of glass. She closes her eyes and tried gain her control back. After a while she enters her expensive car and follows Amy. It does not take long, she finds her walking angrily in abandonen path.

Kamilah: "I'm sorry Amy. Please get into the car, I'll drive you to the Priya's club. It's not safe in the night here."

Amy: "I'm fine. Just go away." Kamilah: "Don't be stuborn, you were right about everything. Let me take you to the Priya's club, now for real. I know I upset you, but it takes hours from here, by walking.

Amy sight and listen, she gets into the car and turn to the window with her hand fold above her stomach. She is looking at the night New York. Amy: "What can Priya do to me?"

Kamilah: "She is a real monster. She will promise you a lot of things. She makes you feel special for short quantity of time. In the second she gets enough of you or gets bored, she will probably kill you. Her games, no human can survive. People disapear or they found them dead." Amy: "At least she is attractive. I will have a nice view when she dries me suck and I will die for someone I care about." Kamilah narrow her eyes at the girl, sitting besides her. Kamilah: "We won't let that happened. You need to get out of there if she tries something. We still can get Baron's vote." Amy: "He is even worse. Priya wants to play games, but her ego destroys her once. What she doesn't know, I'm good at playing games."

Amy: "Kamilah, I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

Kamilah's brows quirk. She thinking about hers next words.

Kamilah: "Don't be. Perhaps it was bold to say those things, but you were right. Noone was brave enough to tell me before..." Kamilah drive Amy to the Priya's club and wish her luck. Amy didn't wait a long line and walk towards the bouncer. Amy: "Priya will accept me immediately." Bouncer: "Oh, are you her snack? Tell me your name, I check the list." Amy tells her name to the bouncer. He calls for his colleague and they escort Amy right to the Priyas V.I.P. room. Priya is wearing a black minidress, with gold stripes and a red high heel boots. A lace from the dress covering only a little bit of her skin, it's really tight dress. She talks with another vampires. Some of them Amy knows from the Council meeting. It takes only few second before Priya sensed Amy. She shoot glare directly to Amy. Priya: "Well, well, well. Look at who's decided do choose better company."

She kissed Amy at both cheeks and hugs her tightly. Priya may be a monster, but she is also very attractive. When Amy feels how close is Priya's body presses to hers, she gasps. Her heart skips a few heartbeats. Priya smirk and look at the girl before her with amusement.

Amy: "Hi Priya, I need to talk with you. Privately." Priya: "Ohh!" She clapped her hands together enthusiastically and murderous smile appear at her face. Amy rolled her eyes. Priya: "I love where is this coming. Follow me." They enter a private elevator what is connected directly to the Priya's apartment. When the door close Priya immediately catch Amy by her sides, other hand searching to find a way under Amy's shirt. She runs a nail along Amy's stomach harshly, and cut a line on her belly, blood appears immediately. Amy let out a moan. Priya kiss her with hunger. Amy pauses the kiss and walk a few steps away. Her heart is beating fast. Priya attract her, but she is also very dangerous. Amy is trying to cool down and put hand in the air between them, to make some space. Amy: "I'm here only to talk." Priya: "Don't lie, I hear your heart, it's like it explode any moment."

Amy: "Priya... I need your help with something, hear me out." They exit the elevator, and Priya pour them a glass of expensive red wine. They sit on the leather couch. Priya grab Amy by her thigh and pull her close. She is drawing a circles at her thigh. Priya: "Well?" Amy: "Someone of your kind attacks my friend..." Priya: "Of my kind?!" Amy: "Vampire... My friend, Lily... She was dying... So I ask Adrian to turn her. I got you envelope, he is calling a Council meeting. We need your vote." Priya: "HA! Adrian breaks rules for some human?"

Priya: "You get my vote under one condition. You stay with me and become my little kitten." Amy: "No way, I want to live at least for next 50 years, Priya. One night, no killing, no turning. No ripping parts of my body." Priya: "Oh, I will have so much fun! Alright then. After I do to you, you will have no thoughts of leaving." Amy: "I am going to regret this. Am I? I accept." Priya: "Very well." She kisses Amy and guides her to stand up from the sofa. Her hands sliding at Amy's arms. Making way to tangle their fingers while Priya dominate Amy's tongue. Priya: "Now, I want to hear your heart race, your moans fills the room. And I have a very good idea." Before Amy opens her mouth to say something, she is back in flash with sex harness. Its black leather metal restrains for neck and wrists. Amy let out a long sigh and look directly at Priya's eyes. Amy: "Seriously Priya?" Priya: "I'll enjoy this my little kitten." She doesn't waste any time and free Amy of her cloths. She is completely nude. Before she can protest Priya restrain her into the harness and with the swift move settle Amy into near chair. She spread her kneese and push her toward the edge of the luxury seat. She kissed her again, but not for long. She continues to Amy's neck and bite, she inserts two fingers inside Amy. Amy sees how colors spread before her eyes. The pain and pleasure made Amy arch her back a bit. Her breath quickens when suddenly she feel another finger thrust in. A moan escapes her lips. She tried to hold onto something, but the harness blocking her movement. She almost can't take it. Amy: "FUCK, PRIYA!" Priya continues in her murderous pace and drinking Amy's blood. Amy vision goes blur. She doesn't know if its from the pleasure or the blood lost. Amy: "You dry me suck Priya! STOP!" But Priya continues. She starts to fuck Amy again and moves to her shoulder. She bites her again and sucks her blood like it's the best food she ever has. She bites her side, drink a little bit, then stomach, and finally she sucks her vulva. Amy let out very loud moan and rock against Priya. When Amy's orgasm come to close Priya moves again, to her thigh. She drinks Amy's blood again. Amy yell by the pleasure Priya giving her and from the pain.

Amy: "Priya! I am close!" Priya: "Let go my beautiful kitten." Priya pump into Amy with vampire strenght and speed. She can't even breath properly. She arch her back, the harness slightly choke herself, her wrist miss oxygen, but she doesn't care. After few moments she crashed so hard. Amy: "PRIYA! FUCK! OHMYHOD!" Amy lost her consciousness, from blood lost and pleasure Priya gives her. Priya stands up and clean her face from Amy's juice.

Priya: "Ha! They will be pissed, especially Adrian and grandma. Th-."

In that moment doors flew open and Kamilah make her way to the Priya. Kamilah is standing her, her twin daggers holding close.

Kamilah: "What about we just kill you?"

Priya: "Wait! Just take her!"

Kamilah: "Smart choice, Lacroix."

Kamilah hide her daggers and undress her maroon blazer. She free Amy of the leather - metal harness and wrap Amy into blazer. She pick her up, holding her close, but carefully.

Kamilah: "You are not allowed to touch her again."

Priya: "Whatever, after this night, she comes back voluntarily."

Kamilah: "I expect ´aye´ from you, tomorrow. And even if she comes back by her choice, you will hand her over to us, immediately."

Without hearing answer, Kamilah exit the building.

Kamilah: "You got yourself into serious mess Amy."

Amy wakes up and nuzzles to Kamilah's neck.

Amy: "Kam?"

Kamilah: "Shh. You are safe and alive."

Amy: "I was imagining you whole time. While she was doing, what she was doing."

Amy falls alseep again. Kamilah stops for the moment and look at that small, fragile human. She don't know what she should think about this. But she decide to ignors it. She carefully put Amy at back seats and drive her to her pentahouse, where she clean Amy's wounds. She lay her onto her bed and with intention watch her till she wakes up, lay besides her. Amy lookes so calm. Soon she falls asleep to.

Amy wakes up in the morning. She is laying on top of Kamilahs chest. Kamilah is holding her close, only in underwear, Amy is only in Kamilah's blater. She tried to stand up, but Kamilah is holding her too strongly.

She nuzzle to her cheek with her nose, while stroking her silk hair between her fingers.

Amy: "Kamilah? Wake up"

Kamilah: "Hmm, no, you are not going anywhere."

Amy smile at the old vampire and lay at her chest again.

Amy: "Okay then"

They both continue sleep. And for once, both can sleep peacefully.

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END.

[linawritestwst]

Hello! I'm here to request for a matchup if it's still open, if not then feel free to ignore this;;

My gender is female, and I think my partner preference is someone who is considerate, understanding, knows how to have fun and patience, I also don't mind if he at least feel the 50% patience (if that makes sense-). I kinda find a person's shyness quite cute, especially if they feel shy when they're with the opposite gender. (Idk man, It just makes me feel like wanted to protect them😭😭) I also like if the person has a chill personality, although maybe, I also like if they have another personality that they haven't show to anyone.

I also want my partner to be self aware of themselves, aware what they're doing and know what is right and what is wrong. I especially hate if they are very dense to the point they don't care what happens around them, or being narcissistic. I'm quite a sensitive person so I appreciate if they try to keep their heads cool, although half of myself won't mind if they letting out their anger for understanding reason. (Additionally, I want them to be comfortable for being themselves when they're with me even if it takes a little time)

My height is 149 cm/4'10, (I'm still questioning if I've grown 💀) I feel quite chill when people commenting my height, sometimes feel flustered when they genuinely compliment about it though. My zodiac sign is Scorpio, also I truly don't know what is my mbti since I'm always questioning my own personality if it's truly accurate with the mbti quiz answer I received 😭

I feel shy and quiet when meet new people, but if I'm feeling brave, I will try and make a conversation, even if it's just a small talk. When I attached to the person and become friends, I will show my cheerful yet shy side although I can be aware my cheerfulness sometimes be quite annoying, I know when to tone it down. I'm quite touch starved, so I don't mind if someone being affection towards me. I love giving my close one a hug (but also understand their boundaries).

When I'm in the internet, I adopt a calm yet goofy persona (or so according to my friends how they describe me in the internet). I also can't help but love drama so I just sit down and watch, depending how heated it is, I quite tempted to step in to stop or join in, this is only when it involves with my close one.

I unfortunately can't help but easily feel bored, I often remove the boredom I have by playing games, watching anime, writing or drawing (or even singing when alone), but I'm also a lazy person who tries to find the motivation :,) so it will be quite appreciate if someone courage me to do something I like, but not to the point they are being very pushy about it due to my unfortunate hot temper which I would try and keep my cool temper.

Having a relaxing time with someone also nice too, it helps me cool down especially if my mood feeling sour. I quite love it if me and my partner sharing earphones while listening to music when we're relaxing :)

Ksjdisnsksnsk sorry if this is complicated 😭 Please don't hesitate to tell me if there's something I write in my ask that you may hard to accept it, also congratulations for reaching 100 followers <33

hi, i hope you like your matchup! and don't worry, your request is completely fine, you don't have to change anything!

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

deuce spade!

i'll explain why i chose him:

i think he sounds a lot like the description that you gave! he's very shy around girls and he's more chill than, well, ACE but he obviously has a more aggressive side. and it does show up from time to time but he knows when to stop or at least he knows that he may get a bit.. too much sometimes.

i think he would eventually be more comfortable with being himself around you! it will take time, but he would be so grateful to you for being patient with him. he also would love your cheerful side so much, he wouldn't think it's annoying at all!

he would get a bit anxious, like what if you think he's boring or something like that? but he would definitely encourage you to try things that you're interested in! you don't need any motivation to do that, just the fact that you like those things and find them interesting is enough! also sharing earphones with him would be so cute..

[jadenite]

I posted 291 times in 2021

74 posts created (25%) W O W that is very little compared to previous years. I need to get my shit together.

217 posts reblogged (75%) aka this blog survived by riding on other people's coattails.

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.9 posts. And I have the nerve, The Gall, THE AUDACITY to call myself a creative person.

I added 125 (incredibly boring) tags in 2021

#my art - 50 posts

#character design - 13 posts

#critical role - 13 posts

#illustration - 11 posts

#critical role fanart - 10 posts

#dnd - 8 posts

#portrait - 5 posts

#dungeons and dragons - 5 posts

#dnd character - 5 posts

#cr2 - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the only time i felt the urge to delete a post was the one about cindrella's dress color which turned into aurora dress color discourse inst

The one time I want to speak more than one sentence and tumblr cuts me off.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I am once again asking that we fight evil by moonlight

I am so sorry to everyone who is sick of the meme but I couldn’t resist

595 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 23:06:22 GMT

#4

I saw those set photos from Thor: Love and Thunder making the rounds on the internets and I hope it’s no surprise I’m all over this 80s (or is it more early90s?) himbo look for him. 

No reposting please; also, the watermark is my twitter/ig handle.

1310 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 14:17:31 GMT

#3

While catching up on the latest episode of CR I doodled this Veth piece that I think really captures her whole vibe.

[follow me on twitter and instagram too, for more of the exact same drawings and the occasional ramblings]

2108 notes • Posted 2021-02-09 00:01:25 GMT

#2

Hello. I'm back with more CritRole anime shit. This one's a bit spoilery for episode #126 so be warned.

3046 notes • Posted 2021-02-24 20:18:12 GMT

#1

Hello I have an ipad now and I 100% jumped on the [popular drawing app] bandwagon. This (hopefully) means I’ll have an easier time drawing and painting more often.

4676 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 21:07:57 GMT

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[washymylifeaway]

SakuAtsu Fanfic recs

Edit: minor changes (grammar and stuff) cause I rushed this :’)

EDIT: PT 2 IS OUT

OKAY so I meant to make like a long list of MULTIPLE VARIOUS ASSORTED ships but as I was making it I realized I had WAY too many SakuAtsu fics. Like TOO MANY AHHHH. Anyway, I decided that for the sake of everyone, I should just make a separate post LOL oops I’m sorry but I’m so far into SakuAtsu hell it’s not even funny :))))))))) I tried to keep things short so I could not BORE you while reading this post LOL, but also THERE WILL BE A PT 2 because I cut myself short in order to get this out for.....

THE BEST BOY SAKUSA KIYOOMI’S BIRTHDAY I LOVE HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD TOO :DDDDDDDDD

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Some of my FAVORITE writers CHECK TAGS AND WARNINGS PLS-

astroeulogy // I LOVE their works and they write BEAUTIFULLY AHHHHH!!! My fav? Possibly Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (T) 6.7k, but all of them are SO good! (My love for mythology really be showing here hehe.)

DeathBelle // this writer is on SO many of my posts cause I ADORE the way they write and characterize!!! My fav? Burden of Blame by DeathBelle (E) 91.2k but you already knew that LOL. I love the other ones too, but mafia? UGH.

hatsuna // ahjfsdjfhkasj need I say more? There isn’t a lot BUT the ones there are so so good! My fav? Pas De Deux by hatsuna (T) 19k surprise :D I love this one for their interactions but also Omi’s childhood! It’s really good (and you don’t even need to understand ballet) <33333

bastigod // again another writer you will be seeing in other posts because their writing gives me LIFE AHHH. My fav? my love, take your time by bastigod (T) 9k again you already knew this, but I LOVE THIS ONE ahagdhls. I have reread this one so many times oops hehe :)

volchitsae // I LOVE THIS WRITER, like some of my favorite SakuAtsu fics are from this writer, like favorites of ALL TIME. Please go read their stuff because I love it so much. My fav? take me to the limit, hold me down there by volchitsae (E) 3.8k this was the fic that got me into their writing, and oops I’ve fallen and I can’t get up haha leave me....

awkwardedgeworth // THE FICS THIS WRITER MAKES AJKASDLK. I love them and everything they make omg!!! My fav? This was SO hard but Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (T) 20.8k cause I’m basic LOL but your flame will not survive in this cold tundra was a close second :’)

TBH, there are more that I don’t have time to get to (I started this a while back but then pretended like it didn’t exist for a while LOL) but these were the ones here hehe :) I could honestly make an ENTIRE fic rec list from these writers alone and it would be WAY too long, so for the sake of everyone,,, MOVING ON

Fics (in no order, but also I’m missing a bunch I LOVE but like I said TIME CONSTRAINTS AHHAHAH RIP)-

the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or, the fine art of emotional recognition) by pseudoanalytics (E) 13.7k // this fic made me laugh so much, starting from the fact that there needed to be clarification (which was, after finishing, understood LOL) that this was indeed NOT a fic with a foot fetish.

Routines (and How to Break Them) by cajynn (T) 1.6k // this fic makes them SO CUTE ugh the fluff ajsjkfhajh. I love how Atsumu just slips into everything Omi does (like a snake) ITS SO ADORABLE AHHH.

sense of purpose (or, what comes next) by pseudoanalytics (T) 3.6k // this fic was so HEARTWARMING!!! It made me kinda sad though cause I’m just that kinda person (and I don’t like to think about the past LOLOLOLOL), but the ending was !!! SO !!! CUTE !!! and I love the ending notes (me too Osamu, me too)!

crushed by citruslemonade (strawberrycitrus) (E) 4.2k // I feel like it’s a crime if I don’t mention this fic LOL and it’s very quick and funny! We all want to be the watermelons in this fic and no I don’t take criticism. No thoughts just Miya Atsumu’s thighs :’)))

Clipped To You by littleboat (T) 8.1k // (cp) okay first of all THERE’S ART, second I love Omi in hair clips <3333 It’s really funny with lots of ~pining~ Atsumu and there’s cameo’s of other players,,, it’s just a great time :D

bet on it by selenophim (T) 13.3k // this is a ~classic~ literally I keep seeing this fic because I like to stalk the relationship tags (LOL) and since it’s so good, I keep seeing it (also LOL). This may be SakuAtsu, but this is Osamu supremacy, again I don’t take criticism LOL.

Just as much by Sapphirine (NR) 16.1k // this is peak gay panic as demonstrated by one Miya Atsumu hehe. This fic is so FLUFF but also PINE! I’ll just be sitting here with my 851 million microorganisms to keep me company cause I’M SINGLE LOL.

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (T) 10.4k // nothing to see here, just Sakusa saying things that make Atsumu’s heart stop ;) I love ~caring~ Sakusa so if you do too, read! But also hello? Perfume drop please,,,,

see this through by basilleia (T) 17.7k // I am shamelessly a HARDCORE Atsumu wears glasses fan, once again, I take absolutely no criticism! Again some ~caring~ Sakusa heheh but also love the twin dynamic in this one!

dogshit (first comes the fall) by kitcassiachan (E) 15.8k // PLEASE CHECK WARNINGS! ngl this was one of the first fics I read for this ship and GOD did it get me hooked onto bottom Sakusa agenda (it really hit different). Of course, I’m not promoting the way this relationship happened (don’t have hate s*x), BUT I have nothing to say other than I had no regrets. RIP (not actually but you’ll get what I mean LOL) Bokuto and Ushiwaka for that matter.

let's get physical by rosegoldwriting (T) 4.3k // I really like medical stuff (you’ll see later LOL) BUT even if you don’t still read it cause IT’S FUNNY OKAY. We gotta love boys day and STD’s~~ (also don’t be stupid like him and get hurt to see hot doctors :))))

all i do is crave by newamsterdam (E) 12.7k // were we waiting for me to bring a 5 + 1 to the table? If so, here it is! We do love the olympics and oblivious Astumu~~

lay it on me (no, really) by ayushi_writes (T) 4.2k // please the way I was hesitant to read it at first but then the ‘being very fond and caring in a homie way haha’ made me read it LOL. The fluff (and Astumu being caring because that is another one of my favorite things to read hehe) in this is almost worth the awkwardness that made me want to go put my head into a hole like an ostrich LOLOLOLOL.

ink blossoms by entrechat (T) 8.1k // I think this fic IS SO CUTE OMG. I love the way Omi sits in the shop to draw was ADORABLE and making them do that to get tattoos? Smart af (and v respectful we stan). Also, I love flower meanings :D

crimson colored lotus by sieges (M) 16.5k // (cp) this was a demon slayer AU LOL. TBH I haven’t watched DS, but you honestly don’t really need to in order to read this LOL. It’s explained really well and the writing is AMAZING! It’s not a linear fic, but you can read it in order if you so choose.

where i want to be by tookumade (G) 8.8k // THIS ONE ahhhhhh so cute I love it. Omi trying SO hard in this relationship and Atsumu being so understanding. I love it here :’)))))

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (T) 19.7k // I LOVE THIS ONE not only cause I love professor AUs (I do, I LOVE THOSE) but also it’s just some great writing :D I really love their interactions and the misunderstanding killed me ahhhhh.

If you were wondering, I already have 50+ fics (yes I counted but no I’m not done looking so there will probably have to be some cuts D:) lined up for pt2 AND I took out series in another post, so yeah this is why it’s a cursed draft hahahaa..... I hope you enjoyed cause SakuAtsu is my life and blood.

[pretend-writer]

Kid Of The Future (Chapter 5)

Mini-Series

Summary: After time traveling from the apocalypse in 2019, a surprise waits for Diego and Y/N as they arrive at Dallas, Texas circa 1960.

Pairing: Hargreeves x sibling!reader, Diego Hargreeves x reader

Word Count: 2.7k words

Warning: mention of violence, mention of sex, swearing

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

'This is an easy fix, do I even need to spell it out?' Five blurted, getting frustrated about the plan of getting back to 2019.

'Yes, Five. I need you to spell out exactly what you mean because if so, that is so messed up.' I yelled at my kid brother. I knew what Five was implying when he said "it was an easy fix." I would never get rid of Bel and if Five tried anything, I would fight him.

Luther sighed, 'Guys can we please not fight about this again?'

'No. It's always Five bringing up bullshit that no one agrees on and he expects everyone to listen to him.'

'That kid doesn't even belong in our timeline. We cannot bring her to 2019. We barely escaped that apocalypse, I'm not going through that shit again Y/N.'

'So you think I'm going to trade off my baby to the psychopath? You must really be crazy Five.'

Allison jumped in, 'I agree with Y/N. You out of everyone knows what The Handler is capable of. Do you really want to hand off an innocent kid to her?'

'Do you know why she wants her? For her to be so desperate to hand us a briefcase? The kid can be some assassin from the future that The Handler wants.'

'More reason for me to keep Bel.' I crossed my arms, 'Maybe she became an assassin because you decided to hand her to The Handler and she's seeking revenge.'

Klaus nodded, 'Y/N makes a great argument Five. I'm sorry but I don't think it's a good idea to give sweet Bel away.'

Groaning loudly, Five balled his fists. 'You imbeciles are so.... ugh.'

'So if The Handler wanted Deloris in exchange for the briefcase, you're saying it's okay?' I raised my eyebrows, watching my brother's response.

Luther laughed but immediately stopped as Five glared at him. 'So how do we plan to go back to 2019?'

Allison licked her lips, holding in her laugh as she made eye contact with me. Honestly, I didn't think convincing Five would be so easy. I should've thought Deloris was the key to breaking him.

'You take me with you to the Commission. Simple as that.'

'Woah, woah.' Diego jumped in, 'Just the two of you? Are you crazy?'

'No, I'm not.' I turned back to Five, 'So what do you think?'

Vanya cocked her head, 'Is this really safe? Shouldn't we all go together and help each other?'

'Ah, no offense Vanya but taking you would be a terrible idea considering the fact that you ended the world in 2019.' Luther flashed an awkward smile.

Five, Allison and Diego groaned in sync, Klaus hitting Luther on his forearm. 'You dummy! Why would you bring that up?'

'Guys, it's fine.' Vanya smiled, 'Let's just figure out a safe and effective way to go back without turning Bel away.'

I smirked, clapping my hands cheerfully. 'Don't worry, I have a plan. Five will love this.'

He rolled his eyes, 'Ugh. Can't wait to hear it.'

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

Diego walked in the room after putting Bel to sleep in her room, sighing as he sat on the bed next to where I was laying down. 'Are you up?'

Turning around to face him, I nodded. 'Yeah.'

'Ah.' Diego scooted a little bit closer to me, biting his lips as he figured out what words to say next. 'Uhm, I'm sorry about yesterday.'

'What do you mean?'

'The things I said before you left to the alley.'

My eyes immediately shifted away from him, embarrassed about what I told him while I was intoxicated. I wish that I could take whatever I said back to him, I hated the awkward tension between us.

'Don't know what you're talking about but don't worry about it.' Pretending that I was too drunk to remember, I tried to brush everything off.

'It's not okay because I was lying, Y/N.' Diego looked down, started to fiddle with the bed sheets. 'I care about you, a lot. I was too scared to talk to you because I didn't know how you felt. I honestly thought it was just a casual thing between us, or at least I thought that's how you felt about me.'

That was a surprising thing to hear, thinking that the response I got from him yesterday at the salon was the truth. I didn't think that Diego would think of me as more than a friend, despite the things we did.

I've always assumed everything we've done was just casual, I tried so hard to suppress my feelings I had for him.

'I thought that you thought the same thing. I'm sorry I brought it up out of nowhere last night. It had been a while since I had alcohol.'

'No, no.' He softly grabbed my forearm, it was a comfort touch that I loved from him. 'I'm kind of glad you did. If you hadn't, I don't think I'd had the guts to tell you all of this right now.'

Smiling at him as he rubbed on my arm, I sat up next to him. 'Well, thank you for telling me.'

Diego nodded, softly smiling at me and enjoying my touch. 'Please be careful tomorrow when you go out with Five. I don't even know who this woman is but she sounds dangerous.'

'I'll be fine, I promise.'

He nodded, 'Uhm, you still don't want me to come with you guys?'

'Five and I will be just fine on our own. Don't worry. Besides, the less of us we have will be better. We're trying not to draw attention to ourselves.'

Diego seemed unconvinced, he always worried about things he didn't know what to expect. Especially with this mystery lady that Diego knows nothing about, I knew he was scared.

'Stop, don't think about it.' I scooted towards him, rubbing my hand on his forearm as I tried to calm him down.

He looked me in my eyes and slowly came closer, leaning into me as he cupped my cheek with his hand. I leaned closer, our lips touching as I gently started to kiss him.

'Daaaaad, the aliens are coming after me!' Bel's scream echoed through the entire apartment, I wouldn't be surprised if our neighbors heard her.

'Mood killer.' Diego sighed as he pulled away. As I giggled, he rolled his eyes. 'I bet you're happy she started calling for me instead of you. She needs to start calling for her mama.'

'Very happy.' I grinned, 'I've been waiting for this day where I don't have to get out the bed after her screams.'

Diego got up lazily, 'Someday when I get old, I'm gonna keep calling her name every ten minutes for her to come get me too.'

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

Crouching down as soon as Five helped me get to The Commission, he looked around nervously. I knew that he was some sort of legend around here, helped them assassin many people in the past to fix the timeline and what-not.

'The Handler's gone in the 50s but she could be back anytime. I'll leave to go get the suitcase while you switch up to The Handler and you try to distract them from me. Please for the love of Deloris, don't leave her office. We can't be caught.'

'Speaking of.' I pulled up a mask, handing it to my brother as I smiled. 'Your famous self can cover up with this.'

It was a mask that fairly looked like the ones ChaCha and Hazel wore, except it was a bunny and I honestly thought it would look good on him.

'The fuck do I look like wearing that?' Five looked disgusted. 'I'm not wearing that thing.'

'Yes, you are. If they find you, this is over. We are never going back home.'

Five decided to ignore me and change the subject. 'Why don't you turn into The Handler first and maybe I'll wear that mask.'

'Ew, she reeked of strong perfume and I'd rather just wait. Besides, I asked you first.'

'Okay, I asked you next.'

'Five, please don't play with me.'

He squinted his eyes, 'You wanna be childish, I'll act like you so you know how annoying it is.'

'I swear Fi-'

The sound of the door nob startled us both, not expecting anyone to come into her office especially without knocking. That queued me to morph into The Handler quickly, rehearsing how she sounded like in my head so I wouldn't be caught by these people.

'Oh, mom. So glad you're back from the trip.' A girl, probably the same age as us Hargreeves, ran up to hug me. She pulled away and looked over next to me. 'Who's this midget?'

I looked over and saw Five wearing the mask I got him. I smiled at myself softly, happy that Five decided to wear it. I knew he didn't have a choice but the fact that he took the mask over running away into thin air made me feel like I did something right.

'Ah- my new recruit. Trying to find him the perfect partner for this new mission I have lined up.'

The girl stared at him, 'Nice to meet you.'

Five just stood still, possibly staring back at her too. I figured he didn't speak because she would've figured out who he was as soon as she heard his voice, so I didn't force anything on him.

'Ah, not much of a talker. Such a professional assassin move.' She grinned and looked back at me. 'Speaking of assassins, why don't you take me to the mission with him. I can be his partner.

'Uhm, no. You can't go.'

The girl groaned, 'Why? I'm old enough you know? You trained me since I was a child for stuff like this and you're not even letting me use my talent. Instead it's always "Lila do this stupid thing" and honestly I'm so bored now.'

'You know I just care about you, right Lila?' I'm so glad she said her name because I was panicking not knowing what else to say. 'You're too important to me and I just can't risk that.'

'Whatever, mom. I asked to go to the Hargreeves mission with you and you didn't let me go so I know that's bull.'

In my mind I was screaming, I wanted this girl to leave so we can get the briefcase and get out of here. 'Five isn't a priority right now and frankly, he's a harmless boy. It was a quick job and I didn't need another person with me.'

'Not Five, Belinda Hargreeves. You told me you'd take me with you and you just left me, knowing I was asleep. Why would you do that, I was so excited to take her down.'

She must be talking about the night The Handler visited me, I thought to myself. The stories were slowly lining up. 'Well, she's just a baby. I figured I didn't have to wake you up and I'd just take care of her myself.'

'Just a baby? Mom, you wouldn't shut up about her being this next big thing The Commission needed and now she's just a baby to you?'

'I think you'll best fit that position anyway. Maybe it's time for us to move on from that.'

Lila chuckled, 'You're kidding me right? This kid has like one of the best powers I've seen. Even the Hargreeves siblings don't have that much talent. You really want to turn that down now?'

It was hard to contain my confused and my urge to beat this girl up. It annoyed me that Lila was talking about my daughter as if she was some experiment, and now she's talking about her having some powers. The frustration didn't help either when I had to stay in character.

'Are you sure that's Belinda Hargreeves we're talking about? That harmless looking baby? Surely we're talking about some other kid.'

'Mom, you clearly need sleep or you're doing drugs or something because you really don't sound right. We need her here, that was your saying. Literally, last night you told me that and now you're changing your mind?'

'There's just things in mind I need to consider before I take that route.'

Lila laughed, 'Okay mom. Whatever it is, I hope you make the right decision for us.'

'Yeah sure.'

She shook her head as she slowly walked to the door. 'You are acting a little weird so I'll leave you to it mom. Take a nap, rethink it. I'm sure you'll change you mind again.'

'I can't believe this.' I heard shuffling from behind as the door shut behind Lila. 'All that girl said was true, the powers and everything.'

Quickly rushing next to Five with doubt still on my mind, I snatched the file from his hand.

Everything about her was there; Her name, her birthdate and birthplace. All the information I knew nothing about was here in my face.

'October 1st, 1989...' I mumbled as I continued to read the rest of her file. 'Sh-she has powers. I-I don't understand.'

'So technically Bel's our sister.' Five blurted, 'How did she get to the 60s with us?'

None of what Five was saying was sinking into my brain. The reason why The Handler was hunting me and my family down made sense, how Bel was probably going to end up being their next soldier that does their dirty work.

Five looked over at me, realizing that I was having a hard time processing everything. 'Y/N, don't worry. We will figure this out, okay? We won't abandon her, I promise.'

'But she's one of us. She somehow ended up in our hands and now-' I was trying to put all the information in my head and tried to make sense out of this.'

'Y/N, Y/N. Breathe, it's okay. The Handler doesn't know that we know, we're one step ahead of her. It's perfect.' Five nodded his head. 'We have the upper hand and we can get rid of her before she tried to her Belinda.'

It was nice to see this side of Five, especially when I was freaking out about this huge news. Even thought it was a bit weird. I turned to Five, 'Why are you being nice to me?'

'Honestly, it's hard given the fact that you look like that.' He chuckled lightly, looking me up and down in my "The Handler costume." 'You seemed to grow fond of her and knowing The Handler, I don't know what she's going to do to her. I've worked with her my whole life and I didn't even know she had a daughter.'

I raised my brows, 'Wow. How brotherly of you.'

'You know, I try but you all are annoying and stupid for me to care sometimes.'

'And there's the brother that we all know and love.'

He rolled his eyes, 'Bel is going to outsmart all of you guys. Not to mention she has ecokinesis.'

'Sounds like you're obsessed with this child now.' I smiled, 'I love that you love her.'

'Whatever helps you sleep at night, Y/N.'

I looked at Five and smiled, it was unbelievable to almost impossible that our beloved brother had sympathy for how I was handling this news. 'Thanks Five, really. Don't know what I'll do if I lost her.'

'You won't, you got us now to have your back.'

'Are you really Five or are you a shapeshifter too?'

'Just trying to be nice, for once.' Five's smile went away as he became serious. 'But if you tell anyone about this, I'll figure out a way to send you to a different dimension.'

I laughed lightly, nudging my brother as he got to leave. 'I try to keep the secret to myself.'

Despite Five's thoughtfulness and caring words, I was scared. Even with my family by my side, the reality was that Bel didn't belong here either. Not only was Belinda warped from 1989 for some odd reason but The Handler really wanted to get her, as if she had something planned for her.

Nothing was making sense, starting from the reason why she was out of her timeline but none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was keeping my child safe from that freak.

No matter what it takes, I was determined to protect my daughter. Nothing was going to stop me.

[fandomlit]

healing (sirius black x reader)

requested by anon “hey honey, could you do one sirius x reader with 40, 50 and 83 from ur prompt list? :)”

summary after sirius gets injured during an intense full moon, you have to help patch him up, and maybe patch up some other feelings on the way.

warning swearing, angst, blood and injury mentions, kinda long

o hey i do writing prompts,, those used in this fic will be in bold

gif cred belongs to @softtroublemaker​

“you’re okay, mate... you’re okay.”

remus was already fast asleep in his bed after an exhausting full moon, but the other three marauders were wide awake. sirius was propped against the chest at the end of his bed, one hand on top of james’s, applying pressure to the gushing wound on his stomach. his eyes were squeezed shut and teeth gritted, wondering where the hell peter had gone.

"where the fuck is peter?!” he gritted out, sucking in a sharp breath directly after the words left his mouth.

“he’s getting y/n,” james said quickly and dismissively.

“what?!” sirius demanded, head shooting up from where it was rested.

“listen!” james exclaimed. “i know what happened the other day, but she’s the only one who knows her way around medicinal shit, okay?” sirius just squeezed his eyes shut and let his head loll back again.

“i can’t.”

“what do you mean you can’t?” sirius scoffed as you crossed your arms definitely. he shook his head as you closed your eyes. “you and that hufflepuff kid broke up three months ago. you’re seriously telling me you feel nothing? that you broke up with him for fun?”

“that’s not what im saying and you know it.”

“then what is it?” sirius demanded, letting out another scoff as he stepped toward you.

“you have a reputation, sirus,” you started slowly, opening your eyes to watch him throw his head back with an indignant huff. “and i don’t feel like im ready-”

“here we go again.”

you blinked, jaw dropping. “sirius-”

he threw his arms out in frustration. “how much longer do i have to-to drop hints and flirt with you and compliment you for you to realize how in love with you i am? for you to realize that i’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and i want to chase this feeling to the ends of the earth, and i’ve been waiting for you to realize how much of an idiot that kid was since the day he asked you out?!”

you closed your eyes again, letting the words hang in the air. you bit back tears, giving yourself a minute for your throat to stop closing your words in. you just shook your head. “i can’t.” when you opened your eyes, he was gone. you wiped away your tears and left, too.

“i came as soon as i heard.”

your voice brought a tinge of pain to his heart. he wanted to believe it was just from his wound.

“holy shit you’re bleeding,” you breathed as james pulled away from sirius, hand covered in blood. the elder potter didn’t seem to mind, nodding to peter who had trailed in behind you.

“can you help?” james asked, shaking his head desperately.

“get him on the bed,” you directed with a short nod. peter and james got to work, lifting sirius up and onto his bed as the taller boy grimaced.

“im sorry, im so sorry,” peter muttered like a mantra until sirius was finally laying back against the bed. the boys stepped back and you stepped forward, placing your first aid kit on the chest sirius had been propped against.

“what happened?” you asked.

“well-”

“not you,” you said over your shoulder. james nodded.

“yes, doctor l/n.”

you looked up to sirius, who was looking at you through tired, lidded eyes. you avoided his eyes, clearing your throat. “what happened, sirius?”

“james can tell you,” he grunted as you moved around, supplies in hand, to him.

“i need you to tell me,” you clarified as you set the supplies next to him. “i need you to stay conscious.”

sirius took a shaky breath, his eyes looking over to his concerned friends at the end of the bed before closing them again. “remus wasn’t calming down.” he felt your fingers lift his shirt off of his stomach. in any other situation, he’d be delighted. “i had to stop him from running out of the shack, and he scratched me. stayed in the shack, though.”

“okay,” you breathed, looking over the gashed skin. “it’s pretty deep.” you reached a hand up to wipe some hair off of his sweaty forehead. he clenched his jaw. “do you think you can handle stitches?”

he let out a short laugh. “will it leave a cool scar?”

you smiled at him, your fingers brushing his temple. “very cool.” 

“then do it.”

you turned to james and peter. “put a silencing charm on the door.” they nodded and you turned back to sirius. “i’ll talk you through it, okay?” he nodded. “i need you to say okay.”

“okay,” he grunted.

“i need you to talk back to me, okay?” you picked up a few disinfecting pads. “i need you to stay conscious. you can kick and scream and yell and grip peter’s hand if you need to.” you motioned over peter, who immediately took his place opposite of you, taking sirius’s hand with little confidence. he suppressed a yelp when sirius immediately squeezed his hand. “okay?”

“okay,” he affirmed.

“im gonna wipe up some blood and clean the wound,” you started. “it’s going to sting and burn, but it’ll show me where im working, okay?”

“okay.”

you took a slow breath before lightly brushing the wipe at the end of the gash. he immediately sucked in harshly, and you saw peter hunch over a bit from the death grip he was enduring. you gave him a look of pity as you continued to clean up sirius’s now completely tensed abdomen.

“you’re okay,” you assured, placing your free hand on his shoulder. his other hand whipped up to rest on yours, fingers closing around yours. you gulped. “you’re doing great.”

“im doing great,” he repeated.

“yeah,” you breathed. “yeah, you are.” after cleaning up around the wound, you patted his shoulder and slipped your hand away from his. “now im going to put some numbing cream on, okay?”

you talked him through it all. from the burning cream, to the tingles the cream incited, and all through stitching him up. you distracted him by having him to tell you about some prank he had been planning with james, and he was still talking about it by the time you had tied off the sutures and applied more disinfectant.

“you’re done,” you said softly. he opened his eyes lazily. he met your soft eyes first before looking down to his stomach. he attempted to sit himself up to get a better look at the stitching, but winced. you pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him gently back down. “stay down. you can check it out in the morning, after it’s had time to set.”

he nodded. “sure.” he finally let go of peter’s hand.

his eyes met yours again, and your gaze lingered before you grabbed your roll of bandages. “lift his back up for me, boys.” james came over and they did as told, and you wrapped the bandage around sirius’s abdomen and over the stitches. you pressed your fingers to the wound after you had clipped the bandage down. “i’ll change this in the morning, okay?”

“how long do we have to wait?” sirius asked, voice low. you turned to him in surprise. you met his dark eyes again and took a breath. peter and james nodded to each other and scurried out of the room. he shook his head when he heard the door close behind them. “you broke up with him three months ago. i hate waiting.”

you bit your quivering lip and placed a hand on his cheek. “i know.” you nodded and sniffed. “i know.”

he shook his head, “so why are we waiting?” you paused, brushing more hair out of his face. “im not going to hurt you. that’s the last thing i’d ever do.”

“i know,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

“so what are we doing?” he said, letting out a short, humorless laugh. “why won’t you let me show you how much you mean to me? how i’ve changed?”

you shook your head, pursing your lips as tears streamed down your cheeks. “stop.” he shut his mouth. “just...” before sirius could even blink, you leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

his still bloodied hands immediately shot up to tangle in your hair, drawing you as close to him as possible as his exhausted lips tried to keep up with your sudden burst of passion. when you finally pulled away, the breath he had just collected was gone.

you leaned away and wiped your eyes. you looked down at him to see his gray eyes already boring into yours, waiting for you to say something.

“i did break up with him for you,” you said gently, reaching to lock your fingers with his. “i just... didn’t know if it was the right decision.”

“it was,” he said, trying to sit up again. he grimace as he propped himself up with his free hand. you watched him carefully before he met your eyes again. “it was. he was stupid. merlin, he was stupid.”

you let out a laugh, dropping your gaze to your locked hands. “and you?”

“smart as a whip.”

“sirius,” you chuckled, looking back up to him. “how do i know that you’re not going to do the same thing? that you won’t decide there’re prettier girls and-and sneak around me?”

“because there aren’t prettier girls,” he said quickly, shaking his head. you sniffed, giving him a flattered smile. “there aren’t, i swear it.” 

you sighed, looking down again. “okay.”

“okay?”

“okay,” you repeated with a laugh, squeezing his hand. 

“what does okay mean?” he asked, shaking his head with a smile.

you let out another laugh. “it means im gonna let myself love you, too.”

he grinned before pulling you into another passionate kiss. it didn’t last long enough for his liking, however, due to an unfortunate interruption.

the door creaked open and you both turned to see james peek his head in and out. “oh- peter, back down, they’re still going!”

[whatdoesshedotothem]

: Friday 31 July 1835

7 ¾

11 ¾

A-‘s cousin came this morning no kiss. Breakfast at 9 - had Mr Husband - walked with him to Whiskam quarry - he thinks the stone will do very well for the drybridge, to form Mr Gray’s arch up against it - told Mr Husband I should put Charles and James H- under his orders - said I wanted the 2 horse stable doing and 20 to 30 trees guarding in the Wheat field and (GR-‘s) field above Lower brea - then had Washington - explained to him about Charles H- told W- to get the gates done (ordered of Fawcett) for Mawson and order as many more such for Aquilla Green as he (AG-) wanted - and Joseph Hepworth to make the barn and other doors for Hopkin’s barn to find the stuff, I not choosing to spare my good dry planks and boards - otherwise Charles H- might have made the doors - Captain Sutherland has written to SW- to desire the notices to quit may be sent to the tenants - John Clarke got home before or about 1 bringing a letter from Mr William Grey advising that the notices should not be sent if no authority for sending them arrived from Captain S- sat reading and slumbering in the blue room till 2 50 - then A- off to Cliff Hill - I wrote the last 2 lines of page 129, the whole of the last page and so far of this - then had Messrs. Charles Robinson and Henry to solicit subscriptions to the Hipperholm school clock - the trustees put down £10 and Mr Warburton £5 and A- desired that I should put down her name for £10 - I said I was glad they had gained her over - she had been surprised to hear the clock was already ordered - Messrs. R- and HC- did not know that it was - very well, said I, then on the faith that it is not ordered I will put £10 for myself as well as Miss W- and so I did observing that if the clock was ordered I would only give £5. Advised their writing to some leading clockmaker in London or Liverpool to ask if in his opinion a good clock could be made for the sum demanded by the man at Sowerby bridge (£60+ bell £15 + putting up £5) - I doubted this estimate very much - besides a good

SH:7/ML/E/18/0071

clock-maker ought to be employed to examine the clock before put up to see that it was good and according to estimate which estimate had better be laid some leading man in the trade in Liverpool - they seemed struck with and obliged by my advice and I hope will profit by it - said I thought they had better settle about the price before soliciting more subscriptions as people ought to know exactly what they were subscribing for - and foolish to tell them £60 would do when I thought nothing worth having could be had under £100 at least - my father and Marian came into the drawing room - Marian thinks the striking the quarters made £50 difference in the price of the Weighton church cloak, and that without quarters-striking the estimate was £150 or £180 - my father declined giving anything - stood sometime talking to Marian in the hall then a few minutes with my aunt (very poorly) - then wrote the last 18 lines till 5 5 - copied out the 2 estimates for Northgate house and then wrote letter to ‘Mr Powson master of Sandford school near Brough, Westmorland Post paid’ to go this evening by George - in answer to letter of the 28th instant sent up this morning by Messrs. Whitely and Booth - my answer written in the names merely to say the ladies thought it understood that if he did not hear from them in the course of 10 days or a fortnight he would consider the school disposed of - A- returned at 6 - dinner at 6 ¼ - Mr Harper came during dinner - went to him about 6 ¾ - and he staid till 9  explaining his calculations about the coal water wheel etc ...... taking the mytholm mill wheel as his basis of calculations he recommends a wheel of 20ft diameter with 5ft of breast (or rim) - this we could always keep going with a six power horse more than enough to keep two pumps § eight inch bore constantly going which 2 pumps Holt allows will be more than enough to dry the coal - average height of water for 12 hours = 3in. in a 2ft. bread guage and average height for 12 hours = 7in. .:. average of water for 24 hours = 5in. - 2 eight-in bore pumps to lift the water 90ft. high ‘without (according to Holt) requiring a quick stroke’ - 1 cubic ft. of water weighs 62lbs. two 8in. diameter pumps 90 ft. long will contain 45 cubic ft. of water, but say that they shall be full only to the length of 30in. or say 3ft. 6in. then in the latter case 10 cubic ft. of water may be lifted each time by each pump, and each will come up once in a minute = 10x2 = 20 cubic ft. per minute - Recommends the tail-goit to be 3ft. wide 2ft. to the spring of the arch and from the springing to the centre to be 1ft. - the bottoms to be 3ft. 4in. long, 2in. on each side of lap on the walls being enough better than having no more - thinks I decided right in taking Nelson - B. he has no tackling - could not begin so soon as N- who will begin on Monday and want the carts next Tuesday week - BH- quick and honest workman but has much work on hand and is more for long chimneys and mills than such work as at Northgate - the 1st payment to the masons at Xmas - thinks it will be about £500 - told him to arrange about the payments a she thought best - gave him carte blanche about this - could very [well] pay £500 at Xmas or more - Extra masons’ work for paving and making common shore etc may amount to about £200 + Nelsons’ estimate = £2900 to £3000 Mr. H-‘s estimate calculates £1500 for joiners’ work and all other etc at £1500 more consequently he will not exceed his original estimate of £6000 - Mr. Husband to be paid separately - Mr. Harper will give him a check upon me - Mr Harper himself makes a point of receiving nothing till he has completed his job to the satisfaction of his employer - very good - Booth had the Lodge and bridge both to be completed by the end of November - but if he gets on well Mr Harper may indulge him a month with respect to completing the latter - sometime talking to George in the stable - fear A-‘s pony’s putting out a splent  - the veterinary surgeon Wheatley to come in the morning - George sorry he cannot go with us to London - coffee at 9 ½ - ¼ hour with my aunt till 10 ¼ then till 10 55 wrote the last 30 lines of today - very fine day F67° at 11 pm