#very authentic seeming guy

[forsworned]

Promised pics of Barry from Comic Con last night

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

do you have any advice about boycotting? I have been trying to follow bds but people online are always calling for boycotts and saying people are supporting genocide for bot boycotting xyz and Im having a lot of anxiety about it. Obviously feelings arent more important than not supporting a genocide etc

There's a bit of discussion of boycotts at the moment, so it seemed like a good time to finally respond. I do have advice - very simple and strong advice. The point of a boycott isn't individual moral purity, it's using collective power.

The starting point for building collective power has to be people resisting oppression. Just like a strike can only be called by the workers, a legitimate boycott can only be called by those who are resisting oppression.

For the last 20 years, a coalition that crosses Palestinian society has called for Boycott, Disinvestment and Sanctions. I follow what they say - I don't give a shit about what people online are saying. They are very clear about their strategy - and the important of strategic boycotts. There are some global targets, and then other targets are organised locally - the link above includes information about how to find out what the local calls are.

I believe there is a strong moral and political imperative to observe BDS. I hope that the clear direction and the short list will help with your anxiety.

I think it's really important to understand that there's a principle here - it's not just about BDS. When offering solidarity, you start with what organised groups resisting oppression have asked for. Don't listen, or get stressed out about what random strangers have said.

******

There is, I think, another point, which is just as important. People who are going around making up targets are actively harming the Palestinian Liberation struggle. There are two messages I hope people get from this post - the first is that the starting point of meaningful solidarity is what people collectively resisting oppression are asking for. The second is that the sort of mouthing off online that is stressing you out is actively doing harm - and anyone who wants to do meaningful political work - has to stop pretending that indulging in self-righteous and reactionary social media posting has anything to do with meaningful political work.

There are two reasons that people who make up things they think other people should do actively does harm. One is that it undermines the ability to build power by substituting an individual's voice, for the collective voice of people resisting oppression. Substituting individualism for collectivism is guaranteed to weaken movements

The second is the behaviour you describe is coming from the more reactive parts of our psyche. Politics is about building power through coalitions. When people try and prove they're right and other people are wrong they are letting the anxiety processes of our brains take control - and substituting our most reactionary selves for meaningful political organising - then they're actively getting in the way of building power.

The fact that you're feeling anxious isn't an accident - it's a direct result of other people's choices to act from the reactionary and anxiety part of their pscyhe. If one person is acting from their own anxiety - it absolutely does promote anxiety in others. Good political work comes from building power and coalitions - which involves strengthening relationships - none of which are done best from a position of anxiety (you'll probably be anxious at times, when doing political work - that's really normal. But that's different from anxiety being at the centre of the political work).

I think one of the biggest problems of social media's impact on our ability to organise - is that it's very easy for people who are reacting entirely individualistically, from the reactionary parts of their psyche, guided by their anxiety, to persuade themselves that they're doing collective organising - when they're actually doing the opposite.

I'm sorry you're feeling really anxious. I think it would really help to turn around what you think you're doing. You frame this as not supporting genocide - but that's probably not an option. The political and economic system you are living in supports genocide, and if you imagine you can opt out of that you're setting yourself up to fail. If instead of trying to do the impossible - you focus on acting in solidarity with people collectively resisting their oppression - then it should both be less stressful and more effective. The requests are clear and simple - and you can and should do them.

[datastate]

i keep finding reminders of how i used to act/type a few years ago and i shrivel up. and die.

[elainemorisi]

"like, did you forget you can just lie?!"

- my friend, an exasperated college professor, re: being asked... permission...? to... not do the spring break reading?

[starsandsuch]

Observations about how men from each Nakshatra act in dating & relationships 🏹 👩‍❤️‍👨 💌

Spilling the tea on men through the nakshatras , thank me later ladies 😌😉😏

Disclaimer : Mostly observations of public figures / personal experience/ what I’ve heard from friends. Feel free to add your experience!!

TW: some of these are really honest or 18+

➽──────────────❥

Ashwini men: very childish no matter how old they are. Can be possessive, kinda psycho with a violent streak.

Bharani men: don’t have much notes about them but from what I heard they are extremely possessive// many girls haves told me they’ve been stalked by bharani men. When their love is unrequited they will never let it go. Traditional and takes care of women. Masculine.

Krittika men: goofy and funny personality. Enjoys being babied by their partner.

Rohini men: know how to be the perfect storybook gentlemen. Prince Charming vibes. Very devotional to their partner. Seemingly innocent but are very s3xual individuals. Lowkey perverts. Can be stalkers.

Strives to satisfy their sexual craving within a relationship but will cheat on their partner to do so. Don’t put anything past them.

Mrigashira men: very intentional with who they chose to date. Specific criteria that only makes sense to them. The type to have a bunch of exes that all look identical to each other.

Seem like big heauxs but are loverboys on the low. They know how to please women on a fundamental level, theee most romantic and thoughtful gifts ever.

They like dating outside of their race, they tend to like girls who are flawless looking. If a Mrigashira man likes you, just know you’re probably a 10.

They can be misogynistic but are simultaneously obsessed with the opposite sex. They are really cute when they’re in love. They love playing mind games though.

Tend to be pretty boys, I notice they often have gay allegations on their reputations. They give bisexual vibes even if they’re straight.

Ardra men: similar to Mrigashira they are lover boys. They are used to dealing with rejection or unrequited love connections. They love hard but have trouble finding the right person for them , causing heartbreak in their love lives.

They are traditional in relationships. They act sad and emotional to get girls to like them. Their sad boy act is authentic sometimes but they are huge fboys too. Emotionally manipulative. Loves doing romantic gestures for their lovers. Very thoughtful gift giver.

Punarvasu men: they are like the ideal husband archetype . Caring, traditional, effectionate, generous. They are naturally feminine and understands what a women needs. However, they are very passive tho and end up being cucks in their relationships.

They attract more assertive women that energetically over power them. Classic Jupiter dominant man trope. Gets played a lot. Often friend zoned a lot too. Has weird fantasies.

➽──────────────❥

Pushya men: traditional and like taking care of a woman. They love pretty b!tches so if a Pushya guy likes you , you’re top tier. They are heauxs tho.

Ashlesha men: have serious mommy issues that get in the way of their romantic relationships. They are innately feminine and struggle expressing their masculinity in a healthy way. Very draining individuals. Tend to be romantic and generous, they are promiscuous tho.

Magha men: enjoys princess treatment from women, they like to be pursued by women. They are withholding with their energy and resources and usually women who date them leave the relationship with less then they started with. Misogynistic tendencies.

Purva Phalguni men: they tend to have all the qualities that women desire from men in relationships. Romantic , protective, generous , they are good at s3x. They are very devoted and romantic in a monogamous relationship. However they often have scandals in their love life that spoil their relationships and reputation.

They are very sexual and will go to great lengths to satisfy their sexual desires. These men have HIGH body counts. Usually involved in taboo relationships.

Uttara phalguni men: seem innocent and orderly but are s3x freaks. They are womanizers and pretend to treat women well to keep a good reputation but can have a negative side to them in private. Pervert-Chad vibes.

➽──────────────❥

Hasta men: cheap and feminine. They lie a lot. Haven’t heard great things about them.

Chitra men: feminine and tend to be himbos. I don’t think I ever met a straight chitra man? If they are straight they like being chased by women. Pretty boys.

Swati men: “Prince Charming takes you on a whirlwind romance” they like impressing women and like to be traditional. They have hot and cold vibes tho most women find impossible to deal with. They are eccentric and flighty. Emotionally unstable.

Vishaka men: will fight for the woman they really like. “Warrior/solider who defends the honor of the princess he’s in love with”. They are thots tho. Have a lot of drama in their love lives.

Anuradha men: falls in love hard. Devotional and romantic, will do grand romantic gestures for their partners. But tend to have addictive personalities and violent tendencies. Can have s3x addiction. Will stalk their love interests. Some have really creepy vibes and weird fantasies. Emotionally turbulent.

Jyeshta men: treat relationships like a game, they like collecting trophies and prizes, so they will date many women at once. They are generous and manly and good at manipulating women. Seemingly enjoy the attention of relationships more than the actual relationship. They like to chase. Lie a lot.

Mula men: traditional and kinda boring. Epitome of “she’s Barbie and he’s just Ken”. They are goal oriented, ambitious and logical. They tend to prioritize their career and desire a “trophy wife” to compliment them. Have stoic personalities and are straightforward and blunt.

Purva Ashdha men: traditional gentleman archetype. Very romantic in relationships. Kinda tend be players though. Pretty boys.

Uttara ashdha men: traditional and fatherly. Usually dates Sun nakshatra/ Leo women or women who have solar qualities like them. They like dating the “female version of themselves”. Doesn’t really understand the complexities of women. Typical “he’s just Ken” vibes.

➽──────────────❥

Shravana men: not really assertive in relationships. Likes hanging with the bros more than devoting self to a relationship. Not the most committed, but can be, but only if it’s connected to their social status. Usually marries their high school sweetheart. Not much notes for them.

Dhanishta men: complex relationships with women. A “bachelor” Nakshatra. Some of them hate women or only have a partner bc it’s socially acceptable. Likes the social status that comes with being with a beautiful woman. Doesn’t have successful relationships till later in life. Best suited towards “friends to lovers” relationships. Some are kinda innocent and virginal. Haven’t heard great d reports about them.

Shatabhisha men: surprisingly act very fatherly in relationships, enjoys taking care of the partner. Not the most emotional in relationships but tend to handle responsibilities well. Likes hanging w the bros prob more than their girlfriend. This nak in general is like the “ghost nakshatra” they will ghost pretty much anyone , and are hard to connect with. Sneaky & secretive. Tall & handsome.

Purvabhadrapada men: acts like a gentleman. huge heauxs. Although when they find “the one” they’ll move heaven and earth for her. Gomez and Morticia Addams vibes. Nonchalant about most relationships but women tend to go crazy for them. Usually has the hots for one women but will entertain many he doesn’t really care about. Makes great fathers.

Uttabhadrapada men: odd personalities in general. Can have trouble connecting with the opposite sex. Don’t have much notes about them. Kinda boring.

Revati men: are generous, assertive masculine. If they want you they’ll show it. Tend to like having a mommy figure as a partner. They are heauxs tho and always have a big roster. Very s3xual individuals. Major players. Immature.

[redr0sewrites]

Hazbin Hotel Characters with a Goth S/o

this is basically how some of ththe hazbin characters would support their goth s/o- as a goth person this is literally so self-indulgent lmao

🥀Pairing(s): lucifer x reader, velvette x reader, adam x reader, alastor x reader

🥀 Cw: fluff!

Lucifer

lucifer is a little confused and intimidated about your style at first, he definitely asks a lot of questions

VERY supportive once u explain it, hes very much the "okay dear" type

honestly i think he would find it super attractive, the way u express yourself is just so admirable to him

i feel like lucifer is very fidgety and is always losing focus, and one tjing that i do is that im ALWAYS fidgeting with thr chains and accessories on my outfits so like imagine him just standing super close to you and gently rearranging your chains and necklaces for you...

he would let you teach him how to do makeup and eyeliner and would definitely let you practice styles on him!

lucifer would also help you get ready too, always willing to offer some positive feedback or help with makeup and hair

i also think lucifer adores it when you give him music recommendations, and would get super into a lot of the bands that you like

i personally hc him as a siouxsie and the banshees fan bc i just feel like the elegant vibes fit him very well, but i also think he'd like strawberry switchblade too and just goth stuff like that

overall very supportive and super sweet and silly when it comes to your fashion

Velvette

gosh she needs more love

you both are fashion ICONS okay like even before you both become official she is blown away by your style and authenticity

she def designs special fashion items just for you, she makes a whole line of clothes based off of u and ur aesthetic

velvette LOVES matching with you and loves incorporating both of your individual styles into your matching outfits, whether youre more mallgoth or romantic goth or trad goth or anything in between, she is totally inspired by you and your fits and will always want to inspire you in return

def buys you things she seed and thinks you'd like or look good in, regardless of price. her gifts range from thrifted maxi dresses abd fishnets to priceless jewelry and makeup LIKEEEEE omg

velvette LOVES when u wear something she bought for u or designed for u as well

yall are always late for social events bc u HAVE to be the best dressed couple there i swear

also if u wear chunky boots or platforms and ur taller than her???? expect her to pull you down for kisses bc URGH seeing you sm taller than her does something to her

guys i have a type help

Adam

adam thinks your hot af if you're goth

hes the type to make big tiddy goth gf jokes im sorry💀

in all seriousness tho he would LOVE a goth s/o

adam def likes alternative/rock music and he would think it's awesome if you introduced him to some goth bands

he would LOVE the scary bitches, death grips, and also sisters of mercy too

i def think goth people would be much more rare in heaven than in hell, and he would get SO defensive on your behalf if anyone said anything about you or your fashion

honestly hes your number one fan and LOVES giving his input on your fits

honestly your closet doubles when you date him, adam loves seeing you wear his rings and punk jewelry and i def think he has a lot of old band shirts and stuff for his band, so he would love seeing you wear his oversized shirts

if u have piercings WOOWHEE bc adam asks SO MANY QUESTIONS

he thinks theyre so hot ngl, and i def think he has a few piercings and will buy u both matching jewelry

adam would learn to play songs you like on the guitar for you as well

i dont think hed be super keen on letting you put makeup on him but he'd fold after a little persuasion

i honestly think he'd like eyeliner and how he looks wearing it but doesn't want to admit it bc he doesn't want to seem too feminine (but u know ofc)

Alastor

before even meeting you he was fascinated by your style and boldness

alastor loves people who are unique, and someone who chooses to stand out so much definitely catches his eye

he'd find you very aesthetically appealing and would often find himself wanting to be around you more and learn more about you, your style, and goth culture in general

over this time period is probably when he started to develop feelings for you

alastor would def like the romantic/vampire goth look, that whole genre in general is just very elegant and classy while also nonconformist, which definitely speaks to him

when it comes to music alastor would probably be a little skeptical at first, especially when it comes to new technology, however if you (like me) have a record player and vinyl, i def think he would like listening to some of your fav goth bands on that

i dont really know why but i gen think he'd be a fan of the cure, sure its pretty basic but the vibe of some of the songs can be upbeat and kinda jazzy, and they just have that "old timey" vibe i think alastor would appreciate

alastor is fascinated with the process in which you get ready, and enjoys just sitting and watching in peaceful silence as uou do your makeup and pick out your outfit

if you (like most goths) are into creepy and unusual decor, he would LOVE to help you decorate your room

alastor has the strangest taste in interior design and loves sharing his unhinged ideas with you

overall alastor loves people with a lot of individuality and would definitely find a goth partner appealing because of that !!

THIS IS GETTING SO LONG HELP IM PROB GONNA MAKE A PT2 W MORE CHARACTERS HEHE- THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ALASTOR AND VELVETTE I HOPE I DID THEM JUSTICE!!! WE NEED MORE LOVE FOR VELVETTE SHES SOOOOO AJSJDJD- anywaysssss hope yall enjoyed!!! feel free to req more, esp if u want a pt2 to this >:D

[pomefioredove]

Hiii!! Could you possibly do headcanons of overblot boys + adeuce with a s/o who likes to collect figures or like manga or something along those lines? Also I love your writing you’re awesome sauce. feel free to delete or ignore if you don’t wanna do it!! I understand :3

<3<3 ofc

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ collector! reader

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, ace, deuce, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

looking at... [vaguely gestures to Heartslabyul] all that, I can't imagine Riddle has any grounds to complain about knick-knacks or clutter. he literally lives in a minimalist's worst nightmare. he also gives the impression of a collector of odd trinkets. like stamps or antique tea cups. grandma vibes. probably gets you a nice display cabinet for your things

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace is a sixteen year old boy who balls and thinks of himself as a lady's man. and, I mean, he loves you, but you can tell what he's about to say before he even opens his mouth. weeeeeeb... then he saves up all year just to gift you that one ridiculously priced figure for your birthday. like I said, he loves you, he just has a very... defensive temperament

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I feel like Deuce is a really good listener (or, at least, he knows how to be quiet when you're talking, unlike a certain other Heartslabyul first year), even if he doesn't quite get it. besides maybe Jack, he's the most willing to watch your favorite shows with you, read your mangas together, hear about each individual trinket you own... even if he still doesn't understand. it makes you happy <3

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona is more of a meh guy. "what do you want, a cookie?" is probably in his top ten favorite expressions. things to say when he doesn't care about something. and. listen. he cares about you, he does, but he's not really the type to pretend. he'll let you talk about your collection, though. as long as you're happy with him, you won't seek out Idia and become completely intolerable (his words, not mine!)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul is having flashbacks to all the junk that Jade and Floyd hoard. but, hey: at least your collection isn't of broken toasters or wild mushrooms. he can respect the pride you take in your hobbies, and the care you... wait, how much does all this cost?

...yeah. okay, he understands. definitely not toasters or mushrooms. your room is practically a museum

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[Jamil voice] "once you're done playing with your toys will you come help me clean up the lounge"

no, he doesn't get it. you haven't said how much all of this costs because you think he might have a heart attack if he saw the numbers, and you keep your belongings tidy enough for him not to stress. so he doesn't complain

(and also because he knows they mean a great deal to you)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[Vil voice] "once you're done playing with your toys will you clean up the lounge" lol

he's not exactly jumping for joy when you spend all your allowance on plastic merchandise and picture books. I mean, he's already had to lend you his winter coat, and there was that week you had to stay at Pomefiore because the water at Ramshackle was out... but making purchases seems to make you happy, so he begrudgingly accepts it

there are worse hobbies to have, after all. [side-eyeing Rook]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I don't even want to write Idia's part. I'm afraid he'll materialize in my room and start fangirling over this (rip idia shroud you would have loved x readers)

but seriously, he's been recommending you his favorite mangas and animes and games. he probably buys you authentic figures that are thousands of thaumarks on a whim 'cause you kinda like the character. very sweet. very thoughtful. when should I book your wedding. etc

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you'd think that Malleus would be astonished? WRONG this guy lives with Lilia "hip with the kids" Vanrouge. who is not only a hoarder, but someone who most certainly has a shelf of manga and figures from his favorite games somewhere in the cavernous hole he calls a room. Malleus has probably gotten him one for his birthday (after the 5 hours it took for him to figure out how to buy things online). so like. it's no big deal to him. if you ever mention wanting new manga or figures or... anything... he will give you twice the amount of thaumarks necessary. he's like that

[heartsaturn]

“i feel so high school , every time i look at you” - lh43

luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: reader decides to surprise luke by singing a song that she wrote about him at her concert in michigan

warnings: suggestive comment (?? not really but kind of), intended lowercase, takes place during the offseason, not proofread cus i don’f have the time for that

a/n: so i cut some parts of the song that repeated out because i didn’t want to make the fic too long, this probably sucks so i’m sorry about that

———————————————————————-

“good evening detroit!” you exclaim into your microphone after the opening act of your concert. things were moving smoothly and everything was set in place for you to surprise your boyfriend. the deafening cheers of the crowd are chanted right back at you and they are the only thing you are able to focus on.

“are we having a good night so far?” you ask. again, the crowd responds positively by screaming back in reply. despite being on tour for a few shows now, you will never be able to get over the amazing aura of every crowd. every single night feels like a fever dream and you are so happy to be living in it. this is truly the life that you have been dreaming of.

“so, we are at the point in the show where i usually play acoustic songs with my guitar, however, i have a little something special planned for you all tonight,” you announce to the crowd as the thunder of their voices does not stop, but increases.

meanwhile, luke is confused. you usually like to run things by him or tell him about changes that you want to make in your shows and music. he isn’t offended by the change. still, he is wondering if he might have done something wrong. luke’s puzzled expression must be obvious because jack and quinn seem to have caught on to the fact that luke has no idea what is happening. luke’s brothers decided to tag along when luke mentioned that he would be going to your concert tonight. they know you quite well now and went because they wanted to support you. mostly to poke fun at their younger brother though. quinn catches on to what is happening first. he notices luke’s uncertain expression and puts the pieces together that you are either mad at him or surprising him. quinn assumes and hopes that it is the latter.

“as a lot of you probably know, my lovely boyfriend went to college in michigan,” you start to explain. luke then starts to realize what is happening and immediately feels excitement course through his veins. he has never had someone make such an amazing gesture of love for him before, so the feeling is new and very welcome.

“and i wanted to display my love for luke. so, this is my new song called so high school which is out right now,” you say abruptly, making everyone in the stadium go completely insane. the lights shine bright at your face as you begin to sing.

i feel so high school every time i look at you

it is one of you and luke’s rarely shared days off. usually, when these days occur, you guys plan a date or do something special with each other. this time you just decided to relax and be in each other’s company. you and luke have yet to get out of bed, despite waking up thirty minutes ago.

‘i love you,” luke says softly before gently kissing your forehead.

“i love you too, luke,” you reply, a warm smile peeking through on your tired face, “this feels so natural. us, i mean. i know it may sound cheesy, but i feel so stupidly in love with you. it’s like puppy love,” you say with a small laugh at your own cheesiness.

“that is definitely cheesy, but cute. and i feel the same way by the way,” luke says in reply, joining your soft laughter. moments like these are short-lived but they are some of your favorite moments with luke. the purity and authenticity of the words being shared just feels perfect.

and i wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

“please stop staring at my brother and just go up to him,” jack says, taking you out of your trance. you had been looking at luke for an embarrassingly long time apparently. if it was long enough for jack to notice, it was too long.

“mind your business,” you mutter, becoming slightly embarrassed at the fact that you had been caught staring at your boyfriend by his brother.

“i don’t understand why you’re not just going up to him. you’re literally dating him,” jack says.

“i’m admiring from afar,” you reply. your words make jack visibly cringe and then walk away. he says something about going to get a drink, but it was clearly an excuse to get away from your lovesick stares at his brother.

suddenly, you and luke make eye contact. luke sees you and a smile smile spreads across his face. and then a smile on your own face. neither of you go up to the other though, choosing to just stand and stare instead. the small interaction ends because luke is pulled into another conversation in a matter of seconds. one thing shown is that your love for this boy is undeniable.

and in a blink of a crinkling eye

i'm sinking, our fingers entwined

cheeks pink in the twinkling lights

tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

i'll drink what you think, and I'm high

from smoking your jokes all damn night

the brink of a wrinkle in time

bittersweet sixteen suddenly

date nights are always amazing. especially when you are dating your favorite person. you and luke decided to have a date night. neither of you wanted to plan anything too fancy so you both agreed on stargazing. it’s a cliche date but it never fails to be romantic.

“you know, i’ve loved you since the moment i saw you,” luke chimes up randomly.

“oh really?” you say with a small chuckle.

“yeah, i thought you were the prettiest person i’d ever seen since the moment i laid my eyes on you. i still think that to this day,” luke says. he is getting sleepy and the grogginess in his voice proves that. luke isn’t usually so romantic. sure, he has always been romantic with his gestures, which prove that he loves you and will do romantic things for you. he just doesn’t usually say things so romantic. luke is a man of many words, he likes to talk. but it’s rare that uses his words to properly convey the emotions that he is feeling, simply because he is a slightly awkward person.

so, luke’s words pleasantly surprise you.

“you really think that?” you ask softly, your heart practically melting at the sweetness of your boyfriend in the pale moonlight.

“of course i do,” luke replies, as if his words were the most nonchalant thing ever.

this is when you found out that luke liked you for way longer than you thought he did.

i'm watching american pie with you on a saturday night

your friends are around, so be quiet

i'm trying to stifle my sighs

'cause I feel so high school every time I look at you

but look at you

a lot of the time, the new jersey devils don’t have enough time to hang out as a group. there is a party every once in a while, but other than that, hangouts are pretty seldom.

somehow, a lot of the team was available one night and the wags were able to organize a movie and game night with the players and their partners. it wasn’t anything big but it was what was able to be done.

luke isn’t very fond of his current situation. he loves his teammates and he loves spending time with them. he just loves his girlfriend more. all he wanted was some alone time with his girlfriend, especially because you both have very busy schedules. but luke is now stuck on the couch of one of his teammates’ living rooms next to his girlfriend, forced to be quiet while watching a movie that he can't remember the name of.

“do you know what’s happening? i haven’t really been paying attention,” luke whispers to you after he decides that he’s had enough of pretending to be invested in the movie.

“me neither,” you say, letting out a small laugh that sounds more like a huff.

“i’m bored,” luke speaks once more.

“don’t you want to spend time with your teammates?”

“this is barely spending time with them. no one is even interacting,”

“at least we’re all together,”

“i want to be together with my girlfriend,” luke whispers in a whiny tone. at that, he notices the death glares from some people around him who are actually watching the movie and decides to shut his mouth. you can’t help but giggle at the slightly flustered look on luke’s face after he realizes that people could here him.

you two ended up disrupting the movie night, but at least it was more enjoyable that way. well, for you and luke it was.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

it's just a game, but really

i'm bettin' on all three for us two

get my car door, isn't that sweet?

then pull me to the back seat

no one's ever had me, not like you

“you know the game marry, kiss, or kill?” you ask luke randomly while laying on his chest.

“yeah..?” luke answers, confused by the randomness of your question.

“would you marry, kiss, or kill me?” you ask. the question seems silly but the look on your face tells luke that you are being one hundred percent serious.

“all three,” luke answers simply.

“you’d kill me?”

“sometimes i want to, but i was hoping it would be in the way of you dying from my love,” luke teases.

you let out a soft laugh at luke’s answer. after a few moments of just being in his arms, you eventually drift away into a calm slumber. luke stares at you for a few minutes. it wasn’t meant to be creepy in any way. luke just genuinely could not take his eyes off of you.

truth, dare, spin bottles

you know how to ball, I know aristotle

brand new, full throttle

touch me while your bros play grand theft auto

it's true, swear, scout's honor

you knew what you wanted and, boy, you got her

brand new, full throttle

you already know, babe

“you guys are such hockey bros,” you snort. you are sitting with luke and all of his friends. they are playing video games and arguing about stupid things. this is a frequent thing for them but you don’t usually hang around for it. you wanted to spend time with luke today though and you had nothing better to do. hearing them argue is entertaining anyway.

“yeah, you guys complain about your classes and then it’s stupid things like the history of hockey or something,” ethan’s girlfriend agrees.

“i swear all they know is hockey sometimes,” you say, continuing to tease the boys.

“you guys do know that we’re right here, right?” luke scoffs jokingly.

“that’s the whole point,” you say with a smug grin on your face. luke rolls his eyes playfully at your sass. the conversation dies down not too much later and the boys go back to playing their video game. luke’s hand finds it’s way to your thigh and kneads at the soft skin. you find the action slightly amusing but you let him have his fun. that is, until someone else notices.

“stop groping your girlfriend in front of us, dude!”

i feel so high school, every time that i look at you

as the song ends, the crowd’s whoops and hollers only grow stronger than they were before. you cannot see luke at all but you can only imagine his reaction.

whatever you imagined luke’s reaction to be, his actual one is much better. he is starstruck, not sure if he should say something to his brothers about the song or if he should just stand there admiring you and the fact that you wrote a song about him.

“dude, she wrote a song about you,” quinn says after a short time of quietness from all three of the brothers.

“i have no clue how she sees anything in you though,” jack adds.

“me neither,” luke murmurs.

———————————————————————-

word count: 2020

[babypinkhearts]

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

suguru is very cautious when getting to know you. he’s a nice guy, of course. just has a few walls to break down.

he’s sweet from the get-go. smiling politely (it’s a smile that teeters between being friendly and actually genuine), sitting beside you when you’re alone, or even joining you when you get a little peckish and crave food that isn’t bland campus cuisine.

he holds himself at an arm’s length, feeling you out silently. every word you say is particularly engraved into the linings of his brain, and he holds his cards close to his chest, responding in only the most deliberate of ways.

and, he finds that there is never a moment where he is turned away.

he learns that you’re quite authentic. not to say he expected less — but it’s nice that you’re truly meaningful. suguru knows he’s a good-looking guy. heads tend to turn towards him out in public, and he’s accepted the natural feat like normality, now used to the attention. however, it’s attention that not always comes from the best places of interest. personality is where he really shines, he believes. he’s a bit more than a being of attraction.

you seem to understand that. a little too well, in fact. perhaps it’s as the poets would say — he is half of your soul.

“feel good?”

his eyes are closed, so pleasantly he’s sure he might fall asleep. the hairbrush is gentle in your hands, he feels each bristle nicely tingling across his scalp. and your voice is so soft, it’s like you want him to send him into a coma of delight.

suguru’s head leans back a bit further in his seat, and he nods a little sluggishly. he smiles when he hears your laugh.

“okay, sleeping beauty.”

maybe you’ve trailed far too close to his heart, but god, domesticity feels wonderful. like a world full of color, served to him on the finest gold platter.

so, yes. it means a lot when you unravel him just for him. no ill intent. when you take time to learn all about him, when you’re so attentive to his every silent need, and much, much, later (at least, when he finally notices), when your eyes don’t constantly carry the looks of seduction that he’s so accustomed to seeing from other people. just pure adoration. love. stars that keep shining, a pool of light. the sight is so foreign, and suguru thinks he’s never seen anything prettier. he’s possibly the biggest lover boy ever, head over heels for you.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🪦Pick a Picture: 🩻🦇Your mystical beauty🦇🩻

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

🔮Hi guys! I love Halloween and i wish you all a happy and spooky time this season🔮

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

⚰️If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!⚰️

🦇Masterlist🦇

🔮Pile 1: The Hanged man, 3 of cups and queen of Wands.

Hi pile 1! You have fairy energy for sure. Your mysticism and uniqueness make you stand out from the crowd, and your innovative ideas are a reflection of your innate creativity. You likely possess several artistic talents, especially in the realm of design, which could open many doors for you if you decide to put them into practice. The way you see the world is unique, and that translates into your work.

Additionally, you seem to have a special connection with nature and animals. You may feel a deep affinity for them, and receive messages or signals through their presence. This particular group has remarkable psychic sensitivity, allowing them to perceive things that others cannot. Your intuition is strong, and that helps you understand the world in a deeper, more meaningful way. Your beauty is not only reflected in your appearance, but also in your way of being and how you interact with others. There is no denying that you possess an enchanting and pure beauty, which is truly captivating pile 1!

🔮Song:

🌌Pile 2: The Moon, Queen of Cups and 6 of Swords.

Hi pile 2! You have Siren energy. You have a fascinating personality and an air of mystery surrounding you, which can make some people feel a little intimidated by the intensity of your presence. Still, your ability to connect with people is remarkable; you seem to know exactly how to approach them and make them feel comfortable, which is a gift that can transform not only your life, but also the lives of those around you. There is an almost magical component to your being that could spark your interest in the esoteric, such as witchcraft or similar practices. You may have a natural inclination towards these areas, which would allow you to explore and develop skills that others might consider unusual. This interest could open doors to new experiences and knowledge, taking you on a journey of self-discovery that would enrich your life in unexpected ways.

Your uniqueness is what truly sets you apart; you know how to win the hearts of those around you with that very special energy that you emanate. It's as if your essence has a magnetism that attracts people, making them feel intrigued and captivated at the same time.

🌌Song:

🩻Pile 3: Queen of Wands, The Emperor and 6 of Wands.

Hi pile 3! You have Goddess energy. You have a brilliant mind and a free spirit that sets you apart from the rest. You likely have great aspirations and are determined to achieve them, regardless of the opinions of those around you. That very autonomous energy that you radiate not only attracts people to you, but also arouses admiration in many. Some may even feel a little envious of the way you present yourself to the world. Your ability to dream big and your courage to show it are qualities that drive you towards success. You don't stop at obstacles, and your determination is something that really stands out. Plus, you have a natural charisma that allows you to connect with others, regardless of their background or personality. That ability to relate to people is a gift that opens many doors for you and helps you build meaningful relationships.

Your authenticity and your way of being make those around you feel attracted to you. You shine not only for your achievements, but also for the way you face life.

🩻Song:

🔮🦇Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated🦇🔮

[celesomnis]

❝ The Lionguard Gambit ❞

Nyoka Wadjet x Prefect Reader

The prefect requires some help. The snakeman will not provide it without a catch. There is chess, and a more harrowing "game" is maybe played too.

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babes, bros, and nonbinary beaus, I present to you the highly anticipated ''x reader'' ficlet for @cozymochi and @oddberryshortcake 's slitheringly handsome oc!

because let's be so real, we all down bad for that snake boi.

(and happy christmas you two dears! <3 I hope you do enjoy this and that it lifts your spirits fghsjk and i am so sorry if he is wildly ooc,, I tried my best 😭)

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“I know a guy for that.”

"Yeah. I'm kinda... I'm kind of here because you do, actually."

Nyoka Wadjet did not look amused.

You folded your fingers together and regarded the venomous beastman as passively and politely as you were able.

"Look. I know since we've been sticking around in Savanaclaw lately, Grim has been pushing your boundaries here and there. So if you help me, I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again like that... for two whole weeks."

Air pushed slowly through his nostrils. He was regarding you more seriously now.

Approaching the very allusive, and admittedly rather frightful, student in order to find somebody who could counterfeit thaumarks was perhaps not the most self-preserving decision you'd made. But it was imperative to a growing idea you had on how to deal with you and your friends' latest Azul troubles.

"Three weeks." You sweetened the deal.

Nyoka's eyes narrowed.

"He landed on my head." was stated factually, like the action's offense spoke for itself.

That had indeed happened. Grim was not a often creature of preserving personal space.

"A month?" You tried.

"A year."

Well that wasn't happening. "Um. I could offer two months, maybe." People really had a tendency to overestimate your level of control over that little (lovable) demon.

It seemed like that was not a favorable compromise. Nyoka's attention dipped from you and moved to the room's center where he had previously been seated.

Your stare followed his towards the shining, porcelain chess set readied and untouched at the low-standing table. Sparking a different tactic.

"Or, maybe you could play me for it?"

His gaze swung lazily back at you. Something about the action, and the hooded way his eyes looked, put little tingles along your arms.

"I promise I actually know how to play." You said, in case he was doubting your authenticity.

Movement caught your attention behind his legs, and a second later, his long tail came swishing side to side. A myriad of scales glittering under the sunroof's light.

A somersault happened inside your stomach, but was ignored in favor of catching Nyoka's next words.

“I like to be on the winning side.”

"Is that you doubting yourself against me?" You pushed.

He tipped his chin up slightly, a sun-flare running over his glasses.

“One battle doesn’t lose a war, prefect.”

The message was clear. Challenge Accepted.

He waved a gloved hand, inviting you to sit, which you obliged.

"Alright." Nyoka told you, easing himself gracefully onto the opposing seat. "If you beat me, I will connect you with my friend. But if I beat you, you will forbid your familiar from invading my presence for the remainder of the year."

Oh dear. He was dead-set on that, wasn't he.

Your eyes met. The colors in his clashed your own.

These were desperate times.

"Deal."

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The first few minutes of the game were done mostly in silence.

While it was true you knew how to play (at least, back in your home world you had) it'd been awhile since you'd done so for real, and there was a necessary amount of concentration needed in the first half while you eased back into things.

Nyoka, naturally, was a hard player from the start.

Though some of the plays and tactics he tried helped along in jogging your memory of the nuances, there was still some clear rust in your play, whereas he was all refined sharpness.

Poising in ponder, then striking fast.

Quick as a cobra.

The game did not take long to be leant in his favor.

And the silence was becoming brutal.

It was very quiet in the room, which made sense as to why Nyoka liked to frequent here. And it wasn't unsettling.

That was not the issue.

The distress came because in its peace, it caused the only sound you could latch onto in the whole room was the slow, deep, even breaths leaving the man's chest.

Slow in, slower out, over and over.

Each breath led your concentration to phase in and out of the game with it.

When you snapped back to, you found you just lost one of your knights. Rather viciously.

"You're really subtle with your attacks." You noted sardonically, mostly just to say anything.

There was a shake to your hands as they moved your king.

Nyoka watched you fidget.

In reply, there was a smooth counter of; "Hmph. Like a drop to the head."

You wetted your lips. Moved a pawn. "Grim's harmless, just very personable."

"He is lucky I didn't bite him." Nyoka murmured.

You were still a little lost to thought when this was said, so your ears failed to detect if its inflection held jest or sarcasm.

"Really? I figured you too elegant to go around handling annoyances with your teeth," Slipped out of your mouth before sense caught up to it.

His eyes slid at you. Pinned you there.

Something in your gut flipped.

"I should bite you, Prefect."

The game, and entire room, might have disappeared, but right then you couldn't have been sure.

He spoke it low, and it rolled out of his throat in a way that sent heat down your back. "But I think I wouldn't get the taste out of my mouth for days."

The heat became infernal.

Your head turned away, cheek meeting the forgiving cold of the sofa, desperate to pretend those words weren't the most charged thing you'd experienced in your time here.

"Calm yourself," He intoned, and maybe it was your racing mind, but you almost thought he had the gall to sound amused. "Any venom I have is reserved for other targets."

Oh, you were anything but calm. But there was a bell ringing in the distance, another later hour revealing itself.

It was getting late, and you still had a chess game at stake.

Nyoka exhaled, a low and long huff that makes you at once certain you won't be able to stand for a long while after this.

It felt like a lot of things were at stake right now.

From infernal to charred, you were a wreck at this point.

Forcing your focus to cooperate, the board came back to life before you and a realization was brought with it.

"Finding it difficult to think?" His words were edged with a sultry hiss.

You steeled. Made your move fast. Trying to keep your face unchanging.

Nyoka fluttered his long fingers atop his pieces, calculating, before finally resting atop his queen. And took your pawn.

A sudden sense of victory quelled all other emotions within you, and with haste you moved your knight into a position that seemed vulnerable.

Taking the bait, Nyoka moved his queen back where it was before.

You struck, using your bishop to fly across the board for the winning move. Exclaiming "Check!" and knocking porcelain against porcelain. Hands springing up, elated. "Hah! I did it! The Lionguard Gambit!"

Nyoka looked up at you fast, then moved aback. Expression one you couldn't define. "The... What."

You remained as you were. Enjoying the simmer of your victory.

Thanking the gods and the Seven for having provided the luck that led you to stumble across that move in a late-night library study one evening.

The snakeman stared at you a long time.

The longer that the seconds ticked by, the less sure of yourself you became. Fearful there had been a miscalculation or premature celebration.

You hadn't done it wrong, had you?

And then, Nyoka said; "...Lionheart Gambit?"

A rush of burning sensation to your ears coaxed your arms into a deflate.

"Oh." That was embarrassing. "Well- you know what I meant! My point is, I won!"

"So you did." He relented, sparing you by moving on from your blunder.

It had felt like your mispronunciation had sort of rattled him, for whatever reason, but that was a mystery for another time.

“I guess some battles can turn a war’s tides, snake eyes.” You said, tone lilting once more coy.

Nyoka lowered himself into the spine of his chair with crossing arms.

You waited. "...Um. So. Nyoka?"

"Don't get fretful, prefect, I withhold my ends of bargains. I'll introduce you to the person you seek tomorrow."

You felt a press of disappoint, but relented that it had gotten late. You hadn't realized when the sun's shine had been replaced with the softer lights of the overhead lanterns.

Rising from the seat, knees mercifully only wobbling a little, you offered him thanks and began to make the - perhaps a little purposefully slowed - trek towards the exit.

"Well. Goodnight, Nyoka."

"Hmm."

"You not going to sleep?"

"In a while."

“Ah. Putting in some extra practice for when you get a good chess partner?” You tossed playfully over a shoulder.

“That is not an issue.”

Nyoka rolled his fingers into a fist and set his chin on it. He did not look back at you, but somehow, the heat in your chest returned all the same.

And beyond noise of the door shutting after you, you caught six words that kept that heat burning low in your chest for the whole night following;

“I know a prefect for that.”

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fin.

[somewhereincairparavel]

Alright. I came across someone saying that Rick "put Jason in a pedestal" and "overhyped" him by emphasizing how good looking he is and that Jason shouldn't have been so attractive looking. (Tbf tho that person made it sound like they seemed more mad bc their least favourite character was considered good looking lol) but I'll yap about the significance here anyways. Beware of a very long yapping session below.

I do understand their frustration though, because jason getting told that he looks good all the time makes it seem very shallow and unfair to the others.

And let me tell you, Jason is SUPPOSED to be gorgeous looking in everyone's eyes. He is supposed to be conventionally handsome, Rick didn't intend for his looks to be "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder " or something like Percy's (like how Piper didn't find him as impressive) Percy's is supposed to be more authentic. Percy's character isnt centred in people idolizing him, everyone can acknowledge that he's handsome looking, but it isn't in a "perfect" type of way, he's a carefree spirit and that reflects on his looks. While Jason is hardwired as this ethereal looking hero in people's eyes that not even ONE can deny that he looks good, bc ppl in Rome had set him as the "standard". Jason said this before in the lost hero, that him being a son of Jupiter, makes him feel like the support he gets is only because his dad is a very regal and intimidating figure.

That's kind of the whole point, he's supposed to look like this perfect man who can do no wrong. His "Golden noble boy" arc is literally the whole concept of his character. Why else do you think rick wrote Aphrodite approving of Jason's looks saying that he needed no improvement (which she rarely does) ?

Because Jason is supposed to be put like a statue to admire and idolize, that's ALSO why rick made sure to add that Jason looks like a Roman sculpture, bc that's like a metaphor for his inner conflicts. The guy was put like an artifact for people to ogle at in camp Jupiter ever since he was a kid of 4. That's part of the tragedy.

Annabeth said it perfectly “Annabeth tried to hide it, but she still didn’t completely trust the guy. He acted too perfect - always following the rules, always doing the honorable thing. He even looked too perfect. In the back of her mind, she had a nagging thought. What if this is a trick and he betrayed us?” Mark of Athena, page 6.

His mother, whom he's supposed to look like, is also a literal world wide tv actress. So you can't expect anything less either.

Also, Jason is supposed to mirror Percy. And let's be real. Rick put Percy in a VERY high pedestal looks wise, aswell, Not just Jason. And that's okay.

Rick made Hazel mistake Percy for a literal god because he was just that good looking (tbf, in a way, when I was younger, I found this to be a little bit of an exaggeration, bro was covered in mud and seaweed and was compared to a god, it was rlly funny to a 10 year old me 😭 yeah but don't mind this though, this was just a younger me jealous that I couldn't be as pretty as Percy was in mud lol) If Percy can be "hyped" up so "unrealistically" in that particular situation then so can Jason. They are both literal half gods, so unrealistic praise is very normal) and rick also made sure to emphasize that almost all the teen characters had a crush on Percy. So apparently that isn't called putting a character in a pedestal but Jason's is? They are BOTH put in pedestals, because they're both heroes.

Jason and Percy are supposed to be equals, so both of them being in the top two when it comes to looks makes SENSE. Because people are supposed to argue about who is better looking, since they're written as foils.

You cannot expect rick to make Percy look like a god and Jason look like a rat 😭 then there's no point of having them as parallels if one has the upper hand in something. Rick did a good job by conveying that they are BOTH attractive, but in different ways. That's why the Percy/Jason looks debate always have mixed answers.

Jason getting complimented by Aphrodite, the GODDESS of beauty, for his looks and her saying that he didn't have anything to "fix" in his face BC it already looks gorgeous = Percy getting compared to a gorgeous Roman god by hazel. They are both equal comparisons in slightly different tones.

[hoseoksluna]

THE BALL OF LIGHT, ii. | jjk

pairing: friend!jeongguk x fem!oc

genre: angst

word count: 4.2k

summary: inside jeongguk's apartment is where you meet the possibility of life.

pin: ball of light / taglist: join / discord: join / masterlist: run

cp: ao3 / wp

warnings: mentions of smoking and vaping, described nudity, oc feels a lot of emotions and she's overwhelmed, guilt.

note: i really enjoyed writing this chapter and it opened my eyes actually to where it's going. i hope you like the chapter as well. writing about jungkook is my biggest comfort. i feel at home. i love you, guys. happy reading. don't forget to tell me what you think. i'd appreciate it if you tell me ur expectations. <3

side note: i also want to update my taglist because i feel like most of the people i tag haven't allowed themselves to be tagged on this app. if you want to be tagged in my works, let me know. in comments below or my askbox.

It seems as though Jeongguk is still turning your words over his heart once you arrive at his apartment and the sullen grayness of his personal space greets you. A certain pensive look, embellished with a wrinkle between his brows, paints him in the shades of stark reclusiveness, the unapproachability of that façade the blue highlights that make the current inertia of his usual hyperactivity uncannily animated. It’s an oxymoron, the stillness of his being, despite the fact you very vividly sense the turmoil happening inside his chest.

Turmoil must be second-nature to him. Almost like a friend.

You don’t know what to say. The downturned corners of his mouth are so engraved into your vision that when you look away, you can still see them. Sad and pouty, caused in most probability by the truth you uttered. War happens, Jeongguk, if Yoongi and I see each other outside of the walls of our home. Those were the most heart-felt, authentic words that were flung out of the chambers of your heart because—yes, if Yoongi were to know that you smoke one cigarette a day with a boy with a nicotine-addiction, a motorcycle and a tendency to go back to people who have spread agony down his lungs like the white fumes of his cigarettes, he would get up from the kitchen table and grab the nearest knife, start a war for your dream that, according to him, got interrupted by temporary, meaningless things.

But Jeongguk isn’t meaningless. You thought for the longest time that he was temporary, but his lingering presence through high school and now through uni convinced you of the opposite. You believe now, now as he bends at the waist to place a pair of pink, fuzzy slippers with a yummy fried egg on top in front of your icy-cold, socked feet, that he has more shape—the eyes of an angel born wrong, born human, the mouth of a saint that fears to say the wrong thing—than your dream does.

Your dream doesn’t have a face.

Your dream doesn’t have a meaning, either.

Yoongi knows this, pretends he knows the contours of that dream when he tells you to go study. Pretends he knows the color of its flesh, all the greens, purples and blues, when the only words he throws your way are of commanding nature. Come eat. Go shower. Go study. Don’t. You can’t recollect the last time you had a genuine conversation with him that did not include those very words.  

It’s exhausting. Your bones are burdened by it—by being treated as a student and not as a human being. But you ignore this because you respect him, hold him in high regard because of his own burden, laid heavy across the length of his shoulders that have become too thin, too skeletal, that have once been broad, beautiful and ogled by those, who had the luck to encounter him. 

He doesn’t go to the gym anymore, to fill the mass of his muscles with exercise. He works long hours doing food delivery to fill your tummy instead. 

And it’s hard—balancing your respect for him and your ostensibly inner desire to go in search of the things you read about in your books. You can’t help but expect to dig them out, selfishly, in Jeongguk. The kind, now somber, boy who has been by your side for so long. With words and simultaneously without. 

Would Yoongi understand? Doesn’t he, also, have a need for company? 

You push those thoughts away and focus on the clandestiny. On Jeongguk’s frown, on his adorable pout, on his emotions. Because perhaps in it you shall find your destiny. 

Jeongguk walks forward and you swell with the guilty need to fix what you’ve broken, to glue back the pieces that put together his traditional cheer. The tree in you shivers in cold. Your own bones are still frosty like that bus stop you both escaped from. But glancing at the span of his shoulders, drooped and rolled forward, the guilt expands, making you think that maybe you shouldn’t have said something, despite the fact the truth made a dent in the birdcage you have been dwelling in since the death of your parents. 

He empties out his pockets. Wallet, keys, phone, a pack of cigarettes, lighter and a pink, fat vape that you’ve never seen him smoking before. He places those essentials on the kitchen counter, stretching his hands backwards and ridding himself of his beige hoodie. The T-shirt he wears underneath rides up, exposing the smooth and muscled skin of his back, and your throat dries up at the sight. The tree stills, pacified by the movement of his shoulder blades. It puts a spell on you, this innocent yet consumingly heated view of a male’s body, one that continues burning down your body even when he grabs a hold of the hem of his T-shirt and pulls it down. 

Somehow, the act made it hotter. 

Your fingers wrap around your throat, a habit of yours that helps you compose yourself, ground yourself in the severity of the moment. Jeongguk reaches his hand towards the kitchen counter again and as you swallow with great difficulty, he fills his lungs with that scented fume before discarding it.

It isn’t until your breath comes out in pathetic staccatos that he turns around. Large eyes heavily lidded, clouded by that white smoke as he exhales. He purses his lips, dimples on full show, in order to make the smoke thinner. And that, the eye contact while blowing out the fumes, his full attention on you, the element that you’re here—in a boy’s apartment, all alone, for the first time, that warms up your bones, the frost melting away. You feel your body form little pearls of perspiration, overwhelmed and so suddenly overheated by his boyish beauty. 

He’ll never know—just like Yoongi. He’ll never know what he does to you. 

“I’m gonna make you some tea so you can get warm,” he says, softly, and shuffles his feet towards the brightly lit kitchen. You hear the water running, the clapping noise of the kettle being shut and then the boiling bubbles, but you’re frozen—red-hot and frozen—in the place you’re standing, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to be a normal human being. “You’re free to take a shower if you want.” 

A headache pierces through your undeveloped frontal lobe. Nothing about this is normal to you—being over a guy’s place, using his shower and his towel, drinking his tea. Being at home all the time never prepares you for this and while you feel so out of place, it also evokes the feeling of thrill. 

This is thrilling. 

And it should stay feeling that way, but your guilt eclipses it so quickly. Your guilt and your self-pity. Due to Yoongi, due to the fact that this should feel normal and that you should act normally. How many girls must’ve been in your place and how well they were able to talk to him and accept his kindness and hospitality without being weird about it. 

You run a hand down your face. Feel like crying. Feel like screaming. Feeling like slapping yourself so you snap out of it and act normal. Yoongi flickers in your chest, however, and you’re reminded that you should let him know where you are. Usually, at this hour, you’re settled in your cage. Right there in the corner, the only warm spot because you sit there all the time. But you’re not there. You fit your body through the slivers, your feet rubbing against the different, more warmer floor than the one inside your birdcage, while your wrist remains chained to the center. 

Your bus, the number 59, never came. Jeongguk’s, number 60, was the last one that came due to the thickness of the snow and he said that you should get on with him so you don’t freeze on the bus stop. I’ll drive you home on my bike, he promised. I got a helmet for you. And you agreed, despite the fact your thumb was ready to dial Yoongi’s number, because it came natural to you to follow a male’s order. 

You scratch your fingernails through your scalp, waking yourself up from the stupor, and you take a deep breath. You’re here and you’re safe. Jeongguk is the safest person you can go behind Yoongi’s back with. These are the words you internally repeat to yourself as you lift one leg and the other, watching where they take you. 

You wind up at the very edge of the counter where all of Jeongguk’s essentials lay scattered. You go to study all the charms hung over his keys when your fingers, somehow instinctively, take a hold of his pink vape. Light and pink, fitting just right in the palm of your hand. Your clandestine habits are invariably seen by Jeongguk, however. 

“Don’t puff on that,” he says, pouring the boiling water inside the kettle over your cup of tea. A Christmas-themed one, evidently for adults only. The taupe Gingerbread man has a raging, bare boner that sticks out to the side whilst his hands are lifted, cheerfully, in the air. Your mouth parts, blush coloring your cheeks in dusty pink, and your brain, bizarrely, connects the Gingerbread man’s emotion to Jeongguk—both emotions, in fact. So bizarrely that anger begins to grow in you because a picture of Jeongguk’s own happy boner pops up before your eyes. Big, hard, leaking. Your stifling heat descends to your lower regions and you have to rub your eyelids in order to stop seeing it, your cheeks scalding, embarrassingly hot. “It’s not good to mix it.” 

Without asking, he places one spoon of sugar inside that obscene cup, stirring it diligently. And the clinking noise rams a clapping monkey inside your brain. 

You’ll die. From this headache, from the heat, from how irresistible this boy is. 

You’ve never felt this way before towards him. Never seen him in this lustful light before. And you don’t know what to do—it’s towering you, so much bigger than you and you have very little strength to stand up to it. 

It’s not good to see your so-called friend like this. 

Jeongguk brings the cup over to you, placing it before his stuff. The Gingerbread man faces you, smiling ever so gleefully, and the blush of your cheeks deepens within this proximity. Jeongguk takes his vape from your hand and puffs on it—and your brain remembers what he just talked about. 

“But you mix it,” you say, your words dripping with confusion, and Jeongguk places the device back into your palm, the tips of his fingers brushing against your flesh. You regard it as intimate, that brief physical contact, and it speeds up your heartbeat. 

That touch-starved you are. 

“I shouldn’t, but I do,” he responds, his pretty eyelashes static, unblinking, those macadamia chocolate pools of his penetrating your pupils. “I try to stick to just one from time to time, but my nerves are asking for more.” 

You look down at the pink device, imagine it’s his hand that you’re closing your fingers over. Think his explanation has zero backbone, and so your confusion drips on. 

“Nerves?” you inquire, a wrinkle appearing between your brows akin to his, even though his has been smoothed out. It seems his act of service to you is slowly easing his sombreness. 

Jeongguk doesn’t want to elaborate, though. He flicks his eyes towards the cup and nods, just once, encouraging you to drink. You let out a quiet huff of a scoff. Consider it strange that he’s so unwilling to expand on this matter when he has shared with you in the past the reason behind his smoking habit. Trauma from his relationship with Ka-eun and the difficulty of his field. What else is behind those nerves of his that you can’t know about? 

You follow the trace of his gaze towards the cup, feeling smaller than you are. Incompetent, inexperienced for the vivacity, immensity of his life that looks nothing like yours. Your pointer finger pokes out, clicking against the emerald green handle. 

“Am I supposed to really drink from this?” you murmur, meaning it as a joke that would fix what you cooked in this situation, but it comes out much sadder than you planned, the hollowness from all of your lacks coating your vocal cords. 

Jeongguk scowls and turns the cup around, his brows springing upwards as he glances at the naked and aroused Gingerbread man. You begin to anticipate his laughter that would make you feel worse about yourself, but it never breezes through. 

Actually, Jeongguk apologizes. Makes a big deal out of it. 

“My God,” he sighs, adding your name, running his fingers through his hair before he puts the cup away, but you stop him by enveloping your fingers across the warm, naked skin of his forearm. His eyes widen en route to yours and he holds the misting cup in his hand, immune to its hot temperature. The good ones don’t get burned, your mother would say with hatefulness whenever your fingers would get burned by steaming cups and hot running water in the sink, and she proves you right in this moment. You bet she smiles in her grave, seeing from the afterlife that you are indeed bad while the others are good. “I didn’t notice. I have one just like this, but he’s dressed. I thought I’d pulled out that one. I’m sorry.” 

But you’re not scandalized by it. As a matter of fact, you like the little Christmas man—there’s something oddly comforting about his own comfort in his sexuality, smiling as gleefully as he is. What you said was a stupid joke, one that shouldn’t have left your mouth. 

“No, I don’t mind. It’s fine. It was just a joke,” you say, hurriedly, sweeping your eyes over his in the same pace whilst he remains calmly staring at you, a steady stream of thoughts filtering through those features of his that you wish you knew the contents of. 

You always said you’d die for knowledge, and right now you’d die to discover what he’s thinking about, looking at you the way that he is. 

He flattens his lips. “I’ll make you another one.” 

He turns around and you yelp your disagreement, cupping your hands around his. And the greater intimacy of this physical contact consumes you whole. 

The heat grows, your spine wet with perspiration. Jeongguk swivels his head back, the shorter pieces of his hair swooshing past his forehead, landing on those pretty, pretty eyelashes. And it’s his turn to part his mouth, for blush to creep up his pale cheeks, and your heart—it melts. 

You’ve never held hands with a boy before. And right now, you’ve come very close to doing it. In fact, the tender grip bears the resemblance of hand holding and you can’t take it. 

A pained, indistinct pout quivers on your lips. A characteristic expression of yours, which conveys that something has hurt you. Your mother would give you a hard time because of it and that’s how you learned that you do it. That’s how you learned how to fleetly hide it, too. 

This is the closest you’ll ever get. 

Tears rush to your waterline. You blink it away, stretching your lips into a little, neutral smile. The scent of cinnamon and cloves from the tea hits your nostrils and from the edges of your palms, you feel how hot the cup really is. It sobers you up quite rapidly. 

“It’s hot, set it down,” you breathe and don’t let go of his hands until Jeongguk complies, the pensiveness back to shadowing his face, but he’s not unapproachable, not at all. The entirety of his dispirited and contrite aura is welcoming, pastel blue instead of that grayish undertone, and he looks at you as if you held the entire world in your palms and he was content with just being near it, silently hoping you show him grace and give it to him. 

But that’s not you. You’re too small to cup this world. Too stupid, too unfledged. 

It’s him who’s flown around it, deeply acknowledged with it. Who’s smart, who’s a full-fledged bird, unlimited and unhindered. 

It’s you who should be looking at him like that and drinking from his vulgar cup. 

And you shall. 

“I’ll drink it, it’s cute.” 

He doesn’t trust it, though, and that’s the scar Ka-eun carved into the flesh of his mind. You brush the pads of your fingers across it, however, when you take the scalding cup to your lips, blow on it and take a small, hesitant sip of it. And the wintry taste of cinnamon and cloves, it is the sap to your tree. 

You hum in delight, taking another sip, even though the temperature burns the tip of your tongue. You watch as Jeongguk’s brows twitch and as a certain glimmering glint of endearment laced with unbelief fills his eyes with the canvas of stars. He straightens his spine while you swallow, his lungs inhaling and exhaling slowly but surely. 

It is a sight to behold, the entirety of his boyish beauty. And you hate that you regard him this way, that your forced visit caused this because you’ll walk out of this door with a longing entwined around your heart.

A longing for him to be yours. 

You set the cup down, cradling it in your palms, your sweat clinging to your body. Jeongguk averts his gaze and rubs his chest, roaming his eyes everywhere but on you, landing on the pink vape you placed on the counter before almost-holding his hand. 

But he doesn’t take a puff of it. Not this time. 

And you want to heal that scar of his even more. Only because he pushed you very close to the things you read in your books and always wanted to experience. 

“I think the tea tastes so good because you made it in this cup,” you chirp, tenderly, giving him a genuine smile, one that Jeongguk doesn’t reciprocate. That one corner of his mouth doesn’t lift, the long cleft of his dimple doesn’t appear. Your heart trembles for a brief moment. In a foreign kind of emotion that feels like fear but isn’t because the turmoil in him rages on and you’re useless. Completely and utterly useless in your efforts. 

His stare is deadly, marked by the depth of his thoughts. 

“Why did you say war happens if you and your brother see each other outside?” he asks, his tone low and grumbling. 

A frightening question. Because no one has ever asked you that. Because you’ve never had the chance to answer such an intimate, personal question. Because no one has ever cared about your home situation. 

The trembling of your heart reaches your entire body and you hide your hands behind your back. Lament that you can’t cradle the cup. Lament that you can’t drink it and postpone your response. Lament that you don’t have a normal life. One worth talking about happily, that is. 

You don’t know what to say. How to begin, how to string the words together in a way that he would understand. And it’s not that you fear that he will judge you; it’s that you fear that the way he looks at you, regards you will forever change. 

You were never the cool girl and you never were the weird girl, either. Somewhere in the middle you stand, solitary and detached, regardless. 

You open your mouth, willing the words to spring out of you on their own, without any careful thoughts to cover them. 

“Yoongi wants me to live a life that doesn’t look like this,” you start, mirroring his tone, unable to look him in the eye. You sense the demons of your guilt and your ungratefulness cornering you, coming closer and closer—and you can’t walk away, you can only speak.

Jeongguk, however, is quick and curt with his following question.  

“Like what?” 

The pearls of your perspiration thicken on the planes of your throat, which constricts. You blink, thinking that you don’t wish to offend him with any formulation of your sentences. So you go around it, hoping he understands. The demons inch closer—and you can’t breathe. 

Jeongguk doesn’t blink, focused intently as he is on the emotions written on your form. It creates a delicate, yet protective ring around you that keeps the demons outside. And he lessens your strange fear owing to that.

“He wants me to focus on school and focus on my dream while he takes care of everything else. It was a deal he made between us. I study, he works. Nothing else,” you continue, and Jeongguk bites his lip, nodding in understanding as he glides his eyes down your face to your sweat-coated neck. For some reason, that little act of his acknowledgement dispels those demons—and you no longer feel guilty, you no longer feel ungrateful because Jeongguk validated those emotions, didn’t scrunch his nose at them. And that heals, little by little, your wounded, flightless bird wings. 

“What does your dream look like?” he asks once again, and you wonder at the formulation of his question. It’s not what’s your dream; he’s asking for a description of the biggest mystery of your life. 

And you chuckle, humorlessly. Jeongguk flicks his gaze back to your eyes, seemingly not knowing what to expect.

“That’s the thing,” you say. “I don’t know what it looks like, and Yoongi doesn’t know either.” 

The roundness of his eyelids spasms, as if the truth you just uttered irks him. The validation grows and buds of blossoms sprout open, in the middle of this sunless winter, upon the twigs of the tree within you. 

“He doesn’t know what your dream is and yet he decided how you should live,” Jeongguk scoffs, shaking his head, and you marvel at the light bursting in your sternum. It is the sun to your growth, to your tree’s growth. 

A moment of bliss that is too brief, for you begin to sense an uncompromising responsibility to stand up for your brother. He means well—he’s doing it out of the love and kindness of his heart as the root of this declared problem is literature. 

And literature is your life. It’s all you know. 

You begin to say these words, but Jeongguk interrupts you. 

“I understand, but you need to live a life that you want to live,” he rasps, standing taller than he was a minute ago, greater and powerful than he ever was. That confident and assured he is in his opinion and you gawk at him as if he were a cult leader, about to change the course of your life. Maybe, just maybe, the cinnamon tea was the kool aid—and you want to drink again, but you’re ashamed of the trembling of your hands. “And if you feel like you’re indebted to him, you shouldn’t. You’re an adult. It’s your life, it’s not his just because he’s older.” 

Your throat dries and you risk it all, enveloping your fingers around the cup. Jeongguk’s all seeing eye notices your movement and his powerfulness drops. He sighs, rubbing his eyes. 

Bare, bare you are all for him to see. For anyone for the first time in your life—and at this point, you don’t even know how it makes you feel. 

Where light and so many emotions were inside you, emptiness falls like fine dust. You’re reminded of that one sentence in White Nights and, quietly, you reflect on it while your fingers tremble on. 

My God, a moment of bliss. Why isn’t that enough for a whole lifetime? 

Jeongguk makes space, like the ring of protection he created around you, by taking a few steps back and leaning against the counter. He crosses his arms over his chest and simply looks at you, reads your body language, and lingers at your hands. At the fact you don’t drink. At the fact you don’t speak. At the fact that nothing will ever be the same after this conversation. 

When he asks his last question, he softens his voice. His demeanor, too. Allows his arms to plummet down to his sides. Sags against the counter. 

“He doesn’t know we’re friends, does he?” 

Something that resembles a cry leaves your mouth and you’re so shocked by the freedom of your emotions that your hand leaps to cup your mouth, as if to hold back any more outpouring. That is your reaction. 

Jeongguk’s is more earth-shattering. 

By his instinct, he lengthens his spine and his hand… his beautiful, strong and veiny hand jerks towards your direction, as if to catch your hand, prevent it from hiding your outpouring—or as if to catch your outpouring alone. 

And it is so heartbreaking to you that you mutter the first thing that comes to your mind and run away. 

And you don’t realize where you are until you get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. A mascara tear stains your cheek in blackness, and the smallness of the bathroom encloses around you. 

You want to wash it away. Feel like the decision is yours to make, a right one at that. Feel like it’s the first step in the new way Jeongguk bestowed over your life by his wise words. And so you undress. 

And you don’t lock the door. 

And you don’t hear your phone ringing ten minutes later. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @jjk7k , @tkslovechild , @euphoricmyth, @cinmmongirl , @ririkookiemonster , @perfectiondazesworld , @https-mei , @bangtansonyeondanue , @jungkoock , @cinmmongirl, @hoseokkie-caeks , @kam9404 , @fr0ggieth1nk , @parkinglot-nights

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved

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[writeforthepeople]

Summary: You've been working as a producer on Smosh Games for a while now, but working late nights on the upcoming D&D project with Damien gave you both a chance to realize your feelings.

Warning: Very fluffy

Word Count: 2.4k

You walked into work late today, you had been adjusting your hours so that you could stay late and work with Damien on the new D&D series for the SmoshCast channel. He had bookings in the mornings for voice over and it was really the only time that worked. On your way to your desk, you passed Spencer who was wrapped up in a conversation with Marcus but smiled and waved at you as you passed.

You took a seat and spent a few minutes checking your email and replying to a few messages. You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Spencer. "Hey Spence!" You said, spinning your chair to face him. "Hey y/n, did you get my email about tonight?" he asked "No, I am still making my way to the top" you responded with a small chuckle.

"No problem, just letting you know I had something come up and can't make the planning session tonight, but I think you and Damien have it at this point. You are the producer, so I will let you produce and will go over the notes tomorrow". You nodded up at him but your heart sank a little. It meant that you and Damien would be alone..and that made your heart race, despite trying to push that aside for weeks now.

"Ok, yeah I think we have it handled! I appreciate your faith in me" you did appreciate it, this was your first time being lead producer on a smosh show and wanted it to be perfect. "You two have more D&D knowledge than anyone else here. I think I distract from the planning at this point. I will leave you to it though!" he smiled and walked off, leaving you to get back to work. It took you a while to catch up on your inbox and schedule a few meetings, but before you knew it 4pm had snuck up on you and most of the office was heading out for the day.

You said goodbye to a few people as you made your way to the kitchen to get some tea and a snack to bring to the conference room with you. You turned around when you heard someone enter "If it isn't my partner in crime" Damien spoke, grinning and walking your way. You felt the smile stretch across your face instantly. You weren't sure exactly when it happened, but your crush on Damien had really escalated. You always thought he was cute, but this was different, he was occupying so much of your mind and you couldn't seem to shake it.

"I was just grabbing us a snack for our planning session, do you want anything specific?" you asked, even though you knew he would want a water and one of the protein bars Garrett often made for the office. "I'll grab us a few things" he smiled at you "we can't forget a kickstart for our favorite director" he grabbed one from the fridge before you could speak up "Oh! You didn't see his email? He has entrusted us with the rest of the process so you're stuck with just me" you said scrunching your lips together and shrugging playfully. He put the kickstart back in the fridge, "there are worse ways to be stuck" he responded, his face in the fridge still. You were glad, otherwise he would have seen how red your cheeks grew at the comment.

"Ready to get started?" he asked turning around with a few snacks in hand. "Lead the way" you nodded and you both headed to a small conference room. You took a seat next to Damien and started to pull out your notes and you laptop, he did the same. As they went over some backstory ideas and potential plot twists, you couldn't help your heart from racing, the way he spoke was so enthusiastic and authentic that it entranced you. You were lost in explaining your thoughts on the big bad guy for their first trial that you didn't notice how close the two of you had gotten, his knee gently brushing yours as he bounced his leg. You wondered if this was a nervous habit or just a tic. These meetings continued over the next few days, and you found yourself checking the time, just waiting until he came back into the office. Until today when you got a text from Damien.

Damien: Hey Y/N, I forgot my laptop at home and am in a VO session. I know I am asking a lot but is there anyway we could meet at my place tonight for brainstorming? It would take forever for me to make it home to grab my stuff and back to the office? Damien: or we can always rescheduled. I am so sorry! Y/N: You live close to me right? I can just meet you at your place, I have to go that way to go home anyways Damien: Are you sure? That would make things so much easier. I can order us dinner? Y/N: Sounds great! Meet you there around 5? Damien: Perfect. Thanks Y/N

"Ok, no need to panic" you said out loud to yourself. "Why are we not panicking?" you heard Angela behind you. Your cheeks flushed red and you locked your phone. "What? nothing. No reason at all" you shook your head but knew that Angela was not going to let that go. She had become such a close friend, you knew she would read right through that reaction "ahhh, yes, very nonchalant, not suspicious at all." he laughed through the end "come on, dish, I have time to kill" she laid on the couch next to your desk and you looked around "Nothing" you tried to shrug. "I am just going to Damien's for our session tonight instead of here" you tried to play it off cool.

Angela knew you had a small crush on Damien and often teased you for it. "Uhhhh WHAT" she almost yelled. "It's not a big deal" you said, unsure if you were convincing her or yourself. "This is news you tell your best friend y/n" she sat back up on the couch and playfully threw her arms out. "Right, your crush inviting you over to their house to hang out...one on one...is just not news worthy" she said shaking her head at you.

The sigh you let out said it all. Looking around again you caved, needing to talk to someone about this. "That makes it sound like something it isn't. He forgot his laptop at home so it is just easier to meet there. This isn't a ploy at something" you explained "Y/N I am going to hold your hand while I say this" Angela started "The tension between you two the last few weeks has the office going crazy. It is SO obvious. There is no way that this isn't what that is." Just then you saw Amanda walking over "There you are! We are about to start test playing the game for today, you ready?" she said to Angela "Hey Y/N, I miss seeing you in the morning meetings!" she smiled. You have been missing them so you can meet late without working too many hours.

"I should be back on regular hours in a week or so" you admit, Angela pipping up "but for now she has late meetings with Daaaamien" in her sing songy voice. Amanda raised her eyebrows at you "so the rumors are true, the lovebirds are spending more time together?" you were beet red at this point "That is not what is happening, we are working on the new D&D show" they shook their heads walking off "Give in to love Y/N!" Amanda said on her way to the gaming stage.

If that didn't raise your nervous enough, the drive to Damien's would. Were they right? did Damien also have a crush on you or were people just making assumptions like they often do. They used to think that you and Spencer were an item when you weren't.

You weren't sure if you should knock or just text him when I arrived, you had never been to his house before. You decided just to knock, and he opened the door quickly. "Thank you SO much for this" he said, stepping aside to welcome you in "I feel terrible, I hope this wasn't too far out of the way". he spoke kindly as you stepped inside. "It's no trouble at all. It's nice to switch things up from the office anyways" you said, hoping he wouldn't feel so guilty. You looked around the apartment, noticing how well he decorated. "Your place is so nice" you smiled. "Thank you, I do my best" he smiled at you and there was a moment before he spoke again. "Oh I got us dinner, we can work at the dinning room" and he lead the way to the dinning room table. He had gotten ramen and you immediately noticed it was a place that you love. "Oh! I love this place" you said while taking a seat. "I noticed you had ordered it a few times at work. Hopefully I got the right order." your heart started racing again, a feeling you think you are just going to have to get used to. He remembered your favorite meal..and you weren't supposed to read into that for the rest of the night?

You two ate and talked mostly about the locations for the players, building some characters to exist in the various establishments. Damien had so many fun characters planned, it was a little sad knowing many of them likely won't even be seen. Especially with the chaotic cast that would be filling out the players. As things started to wrap up, Damien cleared the table and you followed him to the kitchen "Thanks again for dinner, that was really sweet" you said, setting your water glass in the sink. "Anytime, I'm just glad I got your order right" he said as he leaned against the kitchen island. "So were getting close to submit everything, yeah?" he asked and you nodded. You knew that in reality, you had enough to submit but you didn't want the sessions to end.

"Yeah, I guess we are" you couldn't help but sound a bit sad "I think we make a good team" he said with a smile "I will miss your little brainstorming sessions." he added. "I will too, you really help bring out my creativity" you respond honestly "this project is really fueling that need right now". He looked down for a moment "I think I'll just miss getting to hang out with you" his words made you catch a hitch in your breath. "We- we can hang out anytime" you said, quicker than you had meant to.

"Do you want to stay and...watch a show or something?" you could see he was nervous. "I haven't gotten caught up on ink master yet." he added, knowing that it was one of your favorites.

"I would love that" you smiled, and headed into the living room. You took a seat on the sofa, Damien sitting next to you. He turned on the show and you watched in silence for a while before you spoke up "I love this guys work, I would kill to have him do my next piece" you say, not taking your eyes off the TV. "I didn't know you had any tattoos" he said glancing over at you. "Oh.. yeah I have a few they are just more hidden" you admit, your cheeks blushing slightly. "I have one on my ribcage, it is a quote from my favorite song and a bee but it is on my hipbone. So not quite as many as you but maybe someday" he chuckled. "Well that is really cool, you'll have to show me sometime" he realized the implication of what he said. "Like pictures I mean" his cheeks flushed. "I don't mind showing you!" you said, surprising yourself with your courage.

You stood up and slightly moved down your joggers, revealing your hip tattoo. This felt so much more intimate than you thought it would. Most of the office has seen you in a bathing suit at parties, and even in a hot tub video that you were in for a crew games video. I had a small scar here from an accident and the artist was able to cover over it, so you can still feel the bump" you graze your finger over the area "but not see it so much. It really helped me feel better about my body" you admit, a story you've told before but not directly to Damien. You look down, not wanting to make eye contact after sharing that.

"I think your beautiful" he said, catching you off guard. You look up and he is looking right at you think time. "You do?" you asked, sounding surprised as you sat back down next to him. "I-well" he started "of course I do. I kind of thought that was obvious" he tilted his head slightly and turned his body to face you. "Do you really not know?" he asked, his voice a bit quieter but still making you feel like he was focused on you. "Know what? What do you mean?" You needed him to say it. It wouldn't be real until he did. "Know that I like you" he said, shaking his head. "I thought you knew that already, I know the rumors around the office have made their way to you and I have been going out of my way to spend more time with you"

He started to ramble and you couldn't keep from smiling "Damien" you cut him off "I like you too...I thought YOU knew that" he smiled back. His shoulders relaxed as the stress was alleviated "That is ...such a relief" he said leaning into you a bit. "So you're telling me we've both just been trying to find a subtle way to know if the other person feels the same?" you ask, wanting to almost laugh. Just then, Damien reaches out and lightly touches your face and before you could lean in to the touch, he kissed you. It was soft and sweet, testing the waters, but when you kissed back he leaned in, his fingers cupping your ear and wrapping into your hair. He pulled back slightly "We did, and wasted so much time" he smiled before you kissed him again.

[merakiui]

one more loser virgin azul concept,,,,

you run a popular nsfw blog in which you post daily musings and writings about sex. azul regularly keeps up with this blog and is amazed by how realistic your descriptions are. have you done this before? he can’t help but wonder…

it’s in a moment of insecurity when he messages you privately, not expecting a reply. the message in question? he’d like you to instruct him on the ins and outs of good sex (in person, of course). :) he’s willing to pay you handsomely and he’s very genuine about this! he isn’t a creep or a scam artist. it’s all authentic; he promises!

the amount he’s offering is quite hefty. in fact, he’s even willing to pay for your meal if the two of you meet face-to-face to discuss the deal.

the only issue? you’re as virgin as they come. mentally, you’ve done it all. in real life? …not so much.

but you desperately need this money, and this guy seems sincere enough.

ultimately, you decide to con a virgin in what is, essentially, the most convoluted, roundabout acquaintances (friends) with benefits you’ve ever experienced. even with your wild, raunchy imagination, you never could have written this.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - So Many GREAT Kisses!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

(Please notice I am now using 6 dots in all ellipses because according to Taiwanese BL that's how we queers roll. Who am I to argue?)

Sept 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - A most excellent glow up. And it’s still a great show. And I cannot wait to see the many different faces of War. Bring on the Leverage of One action-packed mess. I'm waiting.  

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 9 of 12 - I’m gonna say this because it drives me crazy. Why are boys in BL, when out and about the countryside, always dressed inappropriately for Thailand? If it’s hot, takeoff your damn jacket. I don’t mean to be crass or crazy or whatever. But don’t wear a jacket when it’s 90° with 90% humidity. In Thailand, jackets are for malls. Meanwhile, I’m an extrovert and that still seemed like an exhausting trip. Although, I suppose they didn’t show all the drive time in the van, when everyone is asleep.

Meanwhile, why are the sides so frustrating in this show? Authentic friends-to-lovers is always a slog. Finally a kiss! And a decent one.

New character? Aw! Hi Yu!!!! Gosh Putter is so cute.

Where were we? Oh yes, Beer is now heartbroken. Always the great fear in F2L that the friendship will be destroyed as a result. And it’s a decent fear. 

On a completely different note, I cannot help but wonder when somebody’s chue len is Beer, if that is because beer was involved in their conception. Like, it’s the name you give your "oops baby" from that drunken night at the club. Don’t mind me. I’m just over here in the corner being crass.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - That was one of the cutest wake up sequences ever depicted. Utterly adorable. And now he’s blind again? Oh my God this is such a soap opera, I can’t even. Meanwhile, wicked ice prince finally made his move. Gah! Why aren’t we getting more of this couple? I always love the sides best with this production house.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I love a hard fraught game of badminton. Even though we actually didn’t see play. YoIng claiming was so cute!!! And their shower kiss was v hot. Yay little show! Also cute use of the punishment trope!

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - The weight upon the shoulders of our idiot good guy kidnapper continues to pile up. So does the affection. The dude playing Q has sanpaku eyes. Cool. He’s not a particularly good actor though. Rough because everyone around him is giving their very best.

The problem is. I'm noticing. I shouldn't be noticing all the talent trying so hard. That usually means there is something wrong with the story, or there was something wrong on the set.

I don't know what to say at this juncture except I have the sinking suspicion this might not actually be a good show. (Covers head and cowers. Don't hate me.) I'd loved to be proved wrong, but my faith is GMMTV is only about 50% these days. And it probably should be lower.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - I was so confused by how we suddenly got on a trip together, that I went back and re-watched the previous installment. And it still isn’t explained. So I have no idea why our leads are on a trip but apparently that’s the next trope to hit. I also have no idea how they're suddenly boyfriends. I’m just generally confused by this episode. It’s like an alt reality. We skipped over all of the stuff where they actually got into a relationship. In general I wasn’t wild about this episode.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The most realistic thing about this show is that everybody is everybody else’s ex on any given set. I feel that in my bones. Or do I mean boner?

Frankly, both actors look better after a glow up and I guess pretending to be more their actual ages suits them? Considering what was actually done to invoke youth (a lot of the shine and gloss) aging them was an anti-glow up. A great mattification? Well...... this was a somewhat lackluster finale. (Thank you, thank you, the pun was unplanned. It's a gift.)

I don’t know. I guess I wanted to see Jane suffer? Work HARD to get the kid he abandoned back? I would’ve liked to have seen Ryan a little bit more competent and capable and his job. Maybe dating someone else. But I also do not want any more episodes. This was more than enough. So instead no separation, just boyfriends and a montage of their lives together, getting new and better jobs, moving in together, being supportive and sweet, etc... LOOK: It’s never a good sign when I immediately want to rewrite the show that I just saw.

In conclusion:

A story about a group of interns at a commercial video production company. While I genuinely love OffGun, I’m not convinced this was a good vehicle for them. Is it terrible for me to say, I miss their PickRome days? I don’t think they’ve ever had rolls that suited them better. Still, theirs was the best storyline in this ensemble piece masquerading as a BL, although they still fumbled the ending. Thus, I enjoyed about a 1/3 of it as much as possible, and 2/3 of it less than conceivable. 7/10 and I seriously considered dropping it to a 6/10 so don't push me.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 15 - Not gonna lie I was very skeptical. But I like it fine. Better than I expected because it’s been changed just enough. But it does need to stay changed. I don’t know what I’m trying to articulate here but…... I guess we’ll see.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - It’s cute in a weird disjointed way. I’m enjoying it enough, I guess. I do like how forthright and direct Kla is. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Ah. Bully romance. My old frenemy. Of course making this office based means +10 for workplace harassment. Well well well. This will be red flag party town I see. How VERY old school yaoi. It’s all very Cdrama CEO = dudes in suits walking on parquet (minus all the gay sex of course.) The jumping around between times and unfinished scenes is very strange. Is this Starhunter chaos only applied to a timeline?

Imma say this so they hear it at the back. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE HAIR. If you do time jumps: change. the. hair. It's the easiest and best clue if you aren't going to apply a filter or other cinematography tricks. JUST CHANGE THE DAMN HAIR STYLE.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - And now we all start using six dots in our……? A new coded way to indicate that one is into BL? I did think we were in a slight mire with ep 9, too much teacher filler. Not enough time spent with our boys. Meanwhile, sports day. Pouty Baby utilizing the power of Ge, in front of all of the classmates who do not realize how hard he is flirting and activating babygirl = one of the greatest things ever to happen on my screen. Essentially this was a version of the claiming trope, only nobody knew it but the two of them. Fucking genius. Yes, I watched it multiple times. Then babygirl is injured, the carrying and the flirting!!!! Gah!

I don’t mean to trivialize the show, but this is me and I can trivialize everything even something as brilliant as this. But that conversation about history at the beginning of ep 10...... Was that about topping and bottoming? Because it sure seemed that way.

And then...... Possibly the best only one bed trope twist ever?

This show is so fucking amazing.

And I am so worried about the end.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 7 of 10 - I love the kinkyness of our baby boy’s fantasy. Where he is the gift and his boyfriend is in uniform. Very nice. Thank you Japan. Never one to let kinky dogs lie. Also, the premise continues: one half thinks that they are already boyfriends and acts like it, and the other half is still trying to become a boyfriend. It’s absurd in that way that only Japanese miscommunication extraordinaire can be absurd. Also could Kyosuke be any more under his boy’s thumb? 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 1-2 of 10 eps - Shiba is a top lawyer, angular aggressive bespectacled workaholic cat-type (Kitten? Babygirl? Tsundere? Some unholy combination of all 3?) I am reminded I should be more considerate of my potted plants. OMG the teasing and the little tongue sticking out. Haruto is such a flirt. I love this dynamic. What fun! Manic pixie dream boy but MAKE HIM EVIL! Or very high? Or a grifter? I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. But I’m enjoying it. It’s very...... very

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - Oh! Good kiss. Smart to have the younger character initiate. I also like that he put a stop to it and then went and had a long conversation with a friend about it. Cautious boy. Also shows how in control of the situation Sea is becoming. It works for this BL since he has the stronger personality. I don't care what the characters say, this is about Sea becoming a rock for Neil.

But the secondary couple is actually winning this show. I want so much more of them. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 8fin - I’m not sure that blackmailing and entrapment, especially of your ex, necessarily justifies cheating. Plus I never like it when it’s gays against gays. But what did I expect from this show? This whole series was basically Korea’s version of messy gay. If you liked Only Friends you’ll probably enjoy this bullshit. And they were quite pretty. I, however, am monumentally displeased. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED but still, basically, BL, however…... do we want to support this kind of behavior?

KOREA PLEASE GIVE US A NEW PROPER BL!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE SAD AND LOST WITHOUT YOU.

It's like now they discovered boys can kiss they can't be happy.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF 

In case you missed it

I FINISHED Meet You at the Blossom (China). I ate crow, binged the fucker, and live blogged the experience. I enjoyed it a lot and got quite witty (I think) there are also puns (warning). But if you don't wanna slog though it, here are my final thoughts:

This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL. Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual disaster Dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it is exactly as it claims to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious conscent to the point of rape). I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like: Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded. This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely. 8/10

4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love of high heat and pretty men. Oh the age old struggle between art and lust.

Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and it’s reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out if I can get hold of non-G-drive subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Sept 2024:

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love love love this execution of the punishment trope. What's Ai going to do to you, Yu? Ride you to death?

I Saw You in My Dream indeed.

Sigh. This show. (Addicted Heroin)

All praise one of BL's best-in-show glow-ups. Nicely done, Jack.

James, on the other hand. Never needs a glow-up. Still the prettiest. Has been since Oxygen. (Battle of the Writers)

He's playing the role of Saint in this show, thank you very much. Speaking of which, wouldn’t that be just the most gorgeous pairing in the entire universe? Saint and James? I’ll be in my bunk. 

Taiwan giving us a boop! Reminds me of Be Loved In House I Do, right up there with TharnType as chronic boopers.

Why is he SO GOOD in this show?

All Frist Note.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.