#vertigo attack symptoms

[dailyhealthtips-dht]

Vertigo Treatment: How to Caring for the Loved One Who Suffers From Vertigo

If you know someone with who you have a relationship with vertigo it is easy to feel the pain. Imagine the feeling you get spinning around for a long time suddenly you start to feel dizzy. Vertigo sufferers might experience episodes that come on abruptly. They could feel dizzy, nauseated, and have headaches or feel a general feeling of fatigue. It can impact their overall health as well as their…

[fairyniceyeah]

🧚🏻‍♀️Emeto cheat sheet

Causes of vomiting:

Acid Reflux

Alcohol (+Flush gene)

Allergic reaction

Anxiety

Appendicitis   

Bulimia

Cancer (+Chemotherapy)

Coffee on empty stomach

Crohn’s Disease

Cycling Vomiting Syndrome

Exercise after eating

Exhaustion

Extortion (sports) on empty stomach       

Fevers       

Flu

Food intolerances       

Food poisoning (salmonella, E.Coli …)·       

Gallstones       

Gastroenteritis       

Gastrointestinal Obstruction

Gastroparesis    

Hangover

Heat/Heat stroke   

Indigestion

Kidney Infection

Labyrinthitis (ear infection)

Lactose Intolerance

Medication (Antibiotics, opioids)

Ménières Disease

Meningitis       

Migraines/Headaches       

Motion sickness (cars, buses, boats, planes …)       

Norovirus

Overeating       

Pain      

Panic Attacks  

Poison

Pregnancy

Reflux     

Rollercoasters       

Stomach flu

Ulcerative colitis

Ulcers

UTIs

Vertigo

What happens before:

Abdominal pain

Clutching Stomach

Dizziness/Vertigo

Dry Mouth

Dry-heaving

Gagging 

Hand (Back of hand/Palm) to mouth

Heaviness of limbs

Nausea/Queasiness/Feeling sick

Paleness/Ashen, green or grey face

Panic/Fear

Rapid heartbeat

Reacting to stimulants (sight/smell/taste of food e.g)

Salivia builds up/Mouth waters

Shallow/Rapid breathing

Sour stomach

Stomach cramps

Sweating

Throat tightening

Wanting fresh air

What happens during:

Sound:

Burp/Hiccough

Coughing

Echoing back 

Gagging/Retching/Heaving/Wretching

Gurgling stomach

Rapid breathing

Splattering

Vomit hitting water/receptacle

Sight:

(No) Remnants of previous food

Color (Brown/Depends on previous food) of sick

Liquidly/Chunky/Thick sick

Vomit in corner of mouth

Vomit/Sick/Throw up splattering on floor

Smell:

Acidic

Putrid

Rancid

Sour

Taste:

Acidic

Bitter

Previous food

Sour

Feeling/Misc.:

Back rippling

Burning in mouth/throat/nose

Choking/Feeling like there is no air

Crying

Curling up into themselves/into caretaker

Gagging/Retching/Heaving

Hot vomit/bile/stomach contents

Hyperventilation/Panic

Liquidly/Chunky/Thick sick

Sticky sick on clothing

Stomach contracting/Rolling/Gurgling

Stomach contents sloshing around

Torrent/Wave/Spray/Mouthfuls of sick coming up

Trembling

Vomit gushing/rushing out of mouth (+nose)/up their throat

Vomit seeping through fingers

What happens after:

Being overwhelmed

Blurry vision (from tears)

Changing clothes/Cleaning

Coughing

Cramps

Crying/Sobbing

Cuddling/Soothing

Dehydration

Dizziness/Vertigo

Drinking water

Falling/Slumping forwards against toilet/bucket

Lost/Rough voice/Pain in throat

Medication

Passing out/Fainting

Resting head on toilet seat

Shaking/Trembling

Staying hunched over – not sure if gonna be sick again

Taking Temperature

Wiping away tears/vomit

What the caretaker can do:

Call for help (another caretaker/medical)

Cleaning/Disinfecting

Help sickie take sips of water when they are too weak and nauseous to hold the glass themselves

Help sickie take a shower/bath to clean them up

Hold bucket/trash bin/other receptacle

Holding back hair (strands/at the neck)/fringe

Holding sickie upright

Holding sickies hand

Make hot water bottle

Make sickie blow their nose

Make sickie drink to replenish lost fluids

Make sickie lay down (on their side/on caretaker’s lap)

Make sickie take medication/temperature

Make soup

Rubbing circles on back

Rubbing stomach

Soothe sickie (don’t hold it in, you will feel better after …)

Washing clothes/bed sheets/blankets/stuffed animals that got caught in the crossfire

Whispering comfort

Wiping away tears/vomit

Wiping sickies face with a wet cloth to help with the sweat/fever/pukey feeling

Other related symptoms:

Abdominal pain/cramps

Bloating

Diarrhea

Dizziness/Vertigo

Fever

Headache/Dehydration headache

Hiccoughs/Burping

Inability to keep anything down

Nausea

Paleness/Grey, green or ashen face

Shaking/Trembling

Possible scenarios:

Bathroom is occupied

Being in public/situation they can’t escape from

Caretaker finding sickie on bathroom floor

Carrying a bucket around wherever sickie goes

Clutching a bucket/bin/plastic bag/toilet so hard their knuckles turn white

Cramps so bad sickie can’t move

Curling up on bathroom floor

Eating something despite knowing they are allergic to it

Eating something without realizing they are allergic to it

Feeling sick all day without relief

Feverish and dizzy

Getting admitted to hospital

Inability to keep anything down

Movie marathon as distraction

Multiple sickies (+ not enough bathrooms)

Rubbing sick tummy

Sick during transport

Throwing up in (empty/full) trash bin

Throwing up in bag

Throwing up in bucket

Throwing up in hand

Throwing up in toilet

Throwing up on blankets

Throwing up on floor

Throwing up on something/someone

Throwing up the medication/pills

Throwing up what they just ate/drank

Unable to leave bathroom

Unable to make it to bathroom

Waking up sick in the middle of the night

If you have any more suggestions, please contact me ✌🏼

Much thanks to @rosetyler42 and the anon who suggested some more ideas!

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Bites & Stings

References (Dog Bites; Cat; Human; Spider; Bee & Wasp; Snake; Jellyfish)

Bites and stings - puncture injuries inflicted by an animal that penetrate the skin.

DOGS

A typical dog bite results in a laceration, tear, puncture, or crush injury.

Bites from large, powerful dogs may cause fractures and dangerous internal injuries. Dogs trained to attack may bite repeatedly during a single episode.

Infected bites usually cause pain, cellulitis (inflammation of the connective tissues), and a pus-filled discharge at the wound site within 8–24 hours.

Many infections are confined to the wound site, but some of the microorganisms in the mouths of dogs can cause systemic and possibly life-threatening infections.

Rabies is rare among pet dogs in the United States, most of which have been vaccinated against the disease. Tetanus is also rare but can be transmitted by a dog bite if the victim is not immunized.

CATS

The mouths of cats and dogs contain many of the same microorganisms.

Cat scratches and bites are also capable of transmitting the Bartonella henselae bacterium, which can lead to cat-scratch disease, an unpleasant but usually not life-threatening illness.

Cat bites are mostly found on the arms and hands.

Sharp cat teeth typically leave behind a deep puncture wound that can reach muscles, tendons, and bones, which are vulnerable to infection because of their comparatively poor blood supply.

This is why cat bites are much more likely to become infected than dog bites.

Also, people are less inclined to view cat bites as dangerous and requiring immediate attention; the risk that infection has set in by the time a medical professional is consulted is thus greater.

HUMANS

Humans bites result from fights, sexual activity, medical and dental treatment, and seizures. Bites raise the possibility of spousal or child abuse.

Children often bite other children, but those bites are hardly ever severe.

Human bites are capable of transmitting a wide range of dangerous diseases, including hepatitis B, syphilis, and tuberculosis.

Human bites fall into two categories:

Occlusional (true) bites present a lower risk of infection.

Clenched-fist injuries, which are very infectious and can permanently damage the hand, usually result from a fist hitting teeth during a fight.

People often wait before seeking treatment for a clenched-fist injury, with the result that about half of such injuries are infected by the time they are seen by a medical professional.

SPIDERS

As a rule, people rarely see a black widow bite, nor do they feel the bite as it occurs. The first (and possibly only) evidence that a person has been bitten may be a mild swelling of the injured area and two red puncture marks.

Within a short time, some victims begin to experience severe muscle cramps and rigidity of the abdominal muscles. Other possible symptoms include excessive sweating, nausea, vomiting, headaches, and vertigo, as well as breathing, vision, and speech problems.

A brown spider’s bite can lead to necrotic arachnidism, in which the tissue in an area of up to several inches around the bite becomes necrotic (dies), producing an open sore that can take months or years to disappear.

In most cases, the bite simply produces a hard, painful, itchy, and discolored area that heals without treatment in 2–3 days.

The bite may be accompanied by a fever, chills, edema (an accumulation of excess tissue fluid), nausea and vomiting, dizziness, muscle and joint pain, and a rash.

BEES & WASPS

The familiar symptoms of bee and wasp stings include pain, redness, swelling, and itchiness in the area of the sting.

Multiple stings can have much more severe consequences, such as anaphylaxis, a life-threatening allergic reaction that occurs in hypersensitive persons.

SNAKES

Venomous pit viper bites usually begin to swell within 10 minutes and sometimes are painful.

Other symptoms include skin blisters and discoloration, weakness, sweating, nausea, faintness, dizziness, bruising, and tender lymph nodes.

Severe poisoning can lead to tingling in the scalp, fingers, and toes; muscle contractions; an elevated heart rate; rapid breathing; large drops in body temperature and blood pressure; vomiting of blood; and coma.

Many pit viper and coral snake bites (20–60%) fail to poison (envenomate) their victim, or introduce only a small amount of venom into the victim’s body.

The wounds, however, can still become infected by the harmful microorganisms that snakes carry in their mouths.

Coral snake bites are painful but may be hard to see.

One to seven hours after the bite, a bitten person begins to experience the effects of the venom, which include tingling at the wound site, weakness, nausea, vomiting, excessive salivation, and irrational behavior.

Major nerves of the body can become paralyzed for 6–14 days, causing double vision, difficulty swallowing and speaking, respiratory failure, and other problems.

Six to eight weeks may be needed before normal muscular strength is regained.

JELLYFISH

Jellyfish venom is delivered by barbs called nematocysts, which are located on the creature’s tentacles and penetrate the skin of people who brush up against them. Instantly, painful and itchy red lesions usually result.

The pain can continue up to 48 hours.

Severe cases may lead to skin necrosis, muscle spasms and cramps, vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, headaches, excessive sweating, and other symptoms.

In rare instances, cardiorespiratory failure may occur.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References More: Writing Realistic Injuries ⚜ On Anatomy ⚜ Poison ⚜ Fight Scenes Part 1 2

[crippledcryptidd]

I want to talk about migraine and mobility aids.

I’ve made a post on Tourette’s and mobility aids so I’m going to talk about another neurological disability I have that is a reason me and many others use mobility aids. Migraine.

Migraine is a neurological disease that causes migraine attacks that are most known for causing headaches but not every attack will have a headache, migraine attacks come with many different symptoms some of which may cause someone to use mobility aids.

Some symptoms that may cause someone with migraine to use one or multiple mobility aids are

Vertigo

Vision changes

Weakness

Pain

Pain worsened when moving

Fatigue

Dizziness

Nausea which can be worsened by moving

Those symptoms and others may cause someone with migraine to use mobility aids. Everyone is different, not everyone with migraine uses mobility aids and those who do may use different ones for different symptoms.

One person may use different mobility aids depending on the day, situation, symptoms, severity of symptoms, ect.

[goodgirlofglory]

In the balance - Chapter 9: the world in the balance

Chapter 8

/Masterpost/

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 6,1k

Warnings: non-con (series), dub-con (series), descriptions of ptsd symptoms, panic attacks, descriptions and references to past psychological, sexual and physical abuse

Summary: your world is suddenly turned on it’s head when Steve leaves you in the care of his best friend to go hunt your attackers down. You just have to get through it until Steve returns, but that can prove difficult when Bucky starts to prod into you and Steve’s relationship...

Note: First of all, it’s been a year since i last updated this story and it’s been a bitch. I'm starting to see the ending approach though, which is great cuz im looking forward to write it🥰 For those of you who have been consistently commenting on how you were looking forward to the next chapter - THANK YOU! You guys kept me going<333 Hope you enjoy🦋

Your media consumption is your own responsibility, but I advise you not to interact if the contents of the warnings upset you!

Minors DO NOT INTERACT!🚫

Reblogs, likes, replies and asks are amazing💖

You stared out of the floor to ceiling window, vertigo sloshing in the back of your head as you peered down at the gridwork of roads and flashing lights, the cars and people looking like ants from all the way up here in the clouds. You wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, fighting the nausea down.

A broad hand suddenly clasped around the back of your neck and you jolted.

“Whoah there, it’s just me,” Steve said as he gave your neck an affectionate squeeze. He stepped up behind you and wrapped you in his arms, his big, warm hands sliding down to stroke lovingly over your swollen belly. It was getting heavier for each day that passed, and the kid was getting more restless along with it. You leaned your head back against his chest, closing your eyes as he swayed you from side to side.

- a flash of light in the dark, cold marble under your bare feet, a sickening crunch. So much blood -

Your eyes shot open and you heaved for breath, suddenly choking on air.

“Whoah there, it’s alright,” Steve said, turning you around and putting his hands on your shoulders while bending down to catch your eyes. “I know this is a big change, and we both would rather be back home, but it’s not safe there anymore. Remember I told you that, buttercup? Not like up here. The building is heavily secured and no helicopter could sneak in - the city has a million eyes. You’re safe here, sweetheart, there’s no need to worry that pretty, little head. I’m gonna keep you safe like I always have,” he said, repeating what he’d been telling you over the last 24 hours as you’d moved across the country.

A penthouse in the middle of Manhattan, New York City. 8,4 million people right below you, crawling underfoot while you swayed up in the clouds, 1300 feet up in the air. Your worst nightmare a couple of months ago. Now, you didn’t really know how to feel. You were so tired, and confused. Your memories of that horrible night were blurry blotches, and you fought between not wanting to remember all those atrocious images of blood splattering and bones breaking, and feeling so panicky over the black spots in your recollection it made your head all loopy.

“Besides, Bucky will be here with you, to keep you safe until I return to you,” Steve continued, a hand coming up to stroke your cheek softly.

That’s right, Steve was leaving. After everything that had happened, Steve was leaving, almost right this second. To catch the guys that were behind the attack on the mansion and see that they’re put away, all so I can get back to you and the baby before it’s born, he’d said when you’d hidden your face in his chest and sobbed uncontrollably at him breaking the news of his departure.

You supposed you understood. He wanted the bad men in jail by the time you went into labor, so he could be with you from then on without worrying for your safety. You got the logic of it, it was now or never. It still terrified you. You needed Steve, and just when everything was going so well between you, he was leaving you. All alone in this huge, fancy penthouse in a city with millions of people. Okay, you knew you were being irrational and naggy and ungrateful. Steve had gotten you the most secure, safe and luxurious residence he could after the mansion, perhaps even more secure, under the ever watchful gaze of the city, breaking in would be even more difficult. Besides, Steve had apparently been their primary target that night, not you. So if he was out there hunting them hunting him, the target was off your back, collateral or not. Plus, Steve was leaving Bucky here for you.

Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. There is no one in this world I trust more than him. He's the only one besides myself I would entrust with your safety. An old friend, the polar opposite of Steve. Scruffy where Steve was cleanly groomed, broody where Steve was charming, quiet where Steve knew the perfect things to say. You'd barely even spoken a word to Bucky, and he always seemed to have this glare directed your way, scrutinizing your every move with cold eyes under a heavy brow. Neither of you had seemed particularly pleased with the arrangement, but Steve had assured you Bucky was the sweetest, most nobel man out there, and that he would do this for you and Steve - no questions asked. Didn’t change the trickle of ice that ran down your spine at the way Bucky assessed you, the coldness in his stare, and the way it put you on edge.

So Steve was leaving, and you were to be alone in this strange, new home with a man you didn’t know. And you were seven and a half months pregnant. With Steve’s super enhanced baby. If you weren’t so sure of the baby’s strength, you’d worry about an early labor from all the duress you’d been under these last few days…

Steve pulled you into his arms, careful not to squish your belly too hard, and kissed the top of your head while stroking a soothing hand up and down your back. You needed his touch so bad, had become so addicted to his constant physical connection, you were already dreading the withdrawals when he left. You already felt lonely.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he murmured into your hair, tilting your head back to tenderly kiss your lips. “You be a good girl for me, and treat Bucky like this is his home too,” he murmured against your lips, making you shiver. It had been days since he’d fucked you, you hadn’t had any time alone between moving residence and him planning whatever mission he was going on with his organisation. You were aching for him, body and soul, and weren’t ready for him to go. You weren’t ready…

But he left either way.

And then you were at a complete loss. What were you supposed to do in a penthouse all day without Steve? You couldn’t take walks like on the vast lawns of the mansion with the soft, perpetually green grass under your bare feet. The penthouse was huge, sure, and two stories, with several enormous bedrooms with private bathrooms and a sitting area on the second floor and big kitchen and way too big living room on the first, along with a personal spa, a private cinema, guest rooms, personal gym and more bathrooms. Nearly the whole apartment had floor to ceiling windows, making your slight vertigo a constant with how the looming, chaotic city below and endless sky above. And you, floating in the middle. Your only option was to go down all those levels and walk in the city. Could you even do that?

A knock on the door had you slowly emerging from your thoughts, sitting on the edge of your new bed in your new bedroom, the sheets unrumpled and made up exactly like a hotel. How long had it been since Steve left? Five minutes? Five hours? You turned around to see Bucky standing in the opening of the cracked open door, shoulders almost as broad as the doorway.

“I’ve prepared some food for you,” he said, leveling you a very evaluating stare you tried not to shrink under.

Food. You had no appetite, your stomach full of dark, messy feelings and a restless baby. But you always ate when Steve prepared your meals nowadays, so you should probably do it when Bucky did too. You gave a little nod, and the brunette didn’t wait around for you to walk together down to the first floor of the penthouse.

Down in the kitchen, the aroma of creamy sauce and garlic filled your nose, and you tried opting for a seat at the kitchen island before realizing you just couldn’t get up with your belly. Bucky was loading up plates by the stove, and turned in time to see you wobble on your feet as you tried hiking yourself on the high bar stool. Your cheeks were hot with mild embarrassment as you instead opted for the dining table right next to the kitchen, sighing in relief as you got the weight off your bloated feet. They were already starting to hurt like hell, and Steve hadn’t been gone even a day yet.

Bucky appeared a moment later and put a dish down next to you. Pasta with mushrooms of some kind, a cheesy cream sauce and small pieces of bacon. The aroma was mouth watering. Bucky took the seat across the table from you as you picked up the utensils and started eating. You could scarcely stop the moan escaping you as you took your first mouthful.

“This is delicious,” you said between the next bite and the one after, already shuffling the food into yourself in a rather unmannered way. It took you a while to realize Bucky had neither answered you, nor moved a muscle, his own steaming dish of pasta untouched before him. A ping of unease flared to life inside you.

You looked up to meet his gaze and nearly winced at how cold his eyes were, pinning you with a look that could only be described as scrutiny. Your muscles seized, a premonition blooming. That wasn’t the look you expected, and definitely one that you liked.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“W-what?” you answered after nearly choking on your food. You’d introduced yourself only a few days ago, had he forgotten? How did the room suddenly feel colder, Bucky’s cool, steel eyes raising goosebumps along your skin in a flair of nerves.

“Who do you work for?” he asked.

“I…I don’t have a job anymore, Steve, um… I quit,” you answered, confused, trying not to focus on how you’d gotten out of your last job at that local yarn and handicraft store in your hometown.

“There is no point in feigning innocence here, I’ll get your file any minute now,” he said, and that threw you for a loop before your unease doubled. Your breath was speeding up, getting choppy.

“You’re running background checks on m-me?” you asked. What the hell was he suspecting you of doing? You hadn’t meant to do anything wrong, couldn’t remember having done anything wrong.

Bucky didn’t answer your question, just sat there while his meal turned cold.

“If you have anything to confess, I suggest you do it now, before I get the intel,” he warned you instead.

Your heart was picking up speed, your stomach restless both from a sudden nausea and the kid squirming around. Steve had said Bucky was noble and trustworthy, but here he was being all threatening and cold, and you were locked into this apartment alone with him. The sudden feeling of danger made your head spin, and your mind wandered back to that night.

-sudden lights at the window, your body moving too slow under all its extra weight, your heart in your throat -

Bucky leaned forward in his chair somewhat.

“What are you planning on doing with the baby? What is your plan for Steve?”

Hot tears sprung from your eyes like a sudden faucet, and a violent sob burst from you.

-hot, sticky blood raining down on your face in patters, the mortified gurgling sound of a throat ripped apart -

Your chair toppled over as you jumped up, driven by a flash of adrenalin, and you groaned as your joints protested the sudden movement with pain.

“I…what…n-no, he was the one who..I tried to say no, I never wanted - I didn’t want -”

Your throat closed on another sob, your lungs burning and you just couldn’t draw enough breath into them, panic making you suddenly dizzy. Your thoughts were running too fast, a voice in your head yelling at you to not say anything bad about Steve, about how he got you to the mansion, about how he got you pregnant.

You swayed dangerously to one side, your feet numb and weak, and for a split second you registered Bucky’s expression turning from suspicious and hard to something more concerned, a crack in his confidence. He got to his feet and clasped a hand around your upper arm. On second thought you should’ve realized he was trying to keep you from falling flat on your face, but in the moment all you saw was the masked man who’d tried to pry you from the closet in the mansion and drag you away.

Your reflexes kicked in, and before you knew it, your hands met Bucky’s chest with all the strength you could muster. Bucky did not fly across the room like the masked man had flown down the stairs - Bucky merely stumbled a step back - but the pure shock on his face registered in your mind even through your panicked haze. The half-open mouth, wide eyes and pinprick pupils, the color that drained several shades from his otherwise tanned skin and rosy cheeks. You might as well have flung him to the moon.

Your mind cleared slightly from its dizziness as you realized the baby’s inherited strength had charged yours once again, but your breath was still too short, too fast, the oxygen rasping up and down your esophagus before it could even reach your lungs. You were going to die, your mind thought with a pathetic little whimper.

“Whoah, easy,” Bucky said, taking a step forward with his hands raised in surrender, worry alight on his features where suspicion had been only a minute ago. “Breathe, c’mon breathe,” he said, gently stepping up to where you stood frozen in place, doing all you could to keep conscious as your head started pounding from the pressure and lack of oxygen. You watched as he brought one hand up to cradle your elbow, and found yourself reaching out your own hand to cling to him, grabbing on to his arm with your nails first. It somehow helped, if only a fraction, the warm, real, corporal feeling of his flesh working as a lifeline to keep you rooted to the earth, to reality, to consciousness. Your feet moved on their own, staggering a step closer to grab his other arm with your hand.

Help me, please, help, you thought with desperation as your irregular breaths got fractionally deeper.

“That’s it, breathe for me,” Bucky said as he let you draw closer to him, your nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He looked into your eyes, his own calmer now than before, gentler, staring into yours so hard it forced you to focus through your panic, noticing with increasing awareness the speckle of green in his irises, how the light caught the blue, how his pupils slowly expanded as your breaths got longer and more even.

“That’s right, good girl,” he murmured, when at last your breath evened out and you could pry your stiff fingers from where they were stabbing into his forearms.

God, you needed a hug. Your feet felt like jello, there was a stab of pain in the back of your neck. You were going to have such a gnarly headache. And you needed a hug, your nerves hanging on by a frail, frayed thread. You needed Steve, but he wasn’t here, so you needed a hug, and the burly figure in front of you seemed like he gave great, big, warm ones.

Leaning forward, you slumped against Bucky, your face smushing into his chest, not caring that he was a practical stranger and that he’d just accused you of being some secret, evil succubus spy. Bucky stiffened noticeably as you practically fell into him, but then his arms came up to wrap around you, steadying you with an air of politeness.

You’re sure the moment was exceedingly awkward, but you were suddenly so overwhelmed and tired and filled with grief you couldn’t even feel it. Bucky was warm, like a furnace, so incredibly warm.

You were halfway into exhausted slumber by the time Bucky gently pried you away from his chest, and you barely kept the disappointed mewl from slipping past your lips. You looked up into his eyes, and saw tension there, intense and concentrated, along with unmistakable curiosity, still a little tainted by suspicion. But he asked you no further questions, simply said “let’s get you upstairs so you can rest” and then tugged you gently along back to your room and into bed. You were slipping into unconsciousness when you felt the bed dip, the silk sheet being draped over you and a gentle squeeze to your shoulder.

§

You awoke to the gentle rap of knuckles on your door and the smell of chamomile tea. You were still in the same clothes, sheet draped over you, and you blinked bleary, exhausted eyes open to see Bucky standing in the doorway with a tray in his hands.

You sat up and smiled a little as he made his way over to the bed, though you weren’t quite brave enough to meet his eyes. He put the tray down beside you on the bed and lingered.The tray had a mug of tea and a salad that looked delicious, with a wide variety of greens and cheese, nuts and seeds and a dressing of some kind. It looked like the perfect textbook snack Steve would’ve prepared for you. He’d probably given Bucky list upon list of things to give you and make sure you did while he was away. Steve and his imperious ways. You couldn’t help smile at that, your heart aching for him, feeling that Steve wasn’t too far away for a tiny moment.

“How’re you feeling?” Bucky asked.

“Better,” you said, truly feeling better in that moment, and patted the bed for him to sit and join you. You needed to get along with Bucky if he was Steve’s best friend.

You dug into the food, feeling famished. You felt Bucky watching you, and forced yourself to not lock up. You could feel the questions hanging in the air between you, but if you just pretended everything was fine, maybe he’d forget about asking them. You didn’t know how much Steve would allow you to tell about…well, anything.

“Can I ask you something?” he said after a minute of silence as you ate and sipped from your tea.

Oh crap, here we go

You dared to look up at him, meeting his baby blue eyes for a second before giving him a tiny nod and continuing to eat.

“You said something before…downstairs, when I asked what your plan for the baby and Steve was,” he started. He was speaking softly, no accusation in his tone whatsoever, but your heartbeat still sped up in your chest.

Scrambling, you tried to remember what you’d said. That whole ordeal was a blur, you couldn’t remember much outside feeling you were going to die from lack of oxygen.

Trying to keep your breathing in check, you raised a shoulder, trying for relaxed and feeling much too stiff, hoping against hope that Bucky would just let it go.

“You said that Steve was the one who…something, and that you had tried to say no. That you didn’t want…something,” Bucky said, sitting unmoving on the edge of the bed. You didn’t dare meet his eyes, afraid he’d see something in them you didn’t mean to show. Afraid you would betray Steve in some way, a sickening pulse of guilt wracking through you. “What did you mean by that?” Bucky asked after several long, silent seconds.

You tried opening your mouth to speak only to choke on your own spit, swallowing painful before opening your mouth again.

“I didn’t mean anything. I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t say - I didn’t mean anything with it,” you stammered out, and bloody hell, you didn’t even believe yourself in that moment, all sweaty hands, flaky eyes and trembling voice.

Please don’t ask me anything more about it, you’ll ruin everything

You knew without looking that Bucky didn’t believe you, he was way too quiet for that, unmoving, assessing you, scrutinizing your crumbling appearance.

Why can’t you just let it go?, you thought desperately.

The food you’d just consumed churned in your stomach.

“Are you sure?” you heard him say, and you stared down at your hands in your lap, giving him a tiny, unconvincing nod.

Just leave it, please.

Bucky got up from the bed, the mattress aligning itself without his weight, and stood by it for a moment. You kept your gaze lowered, forcefully holding your anxiety down in order to keep what suspicions you could at bay.

“I’m going out to the city for an errand. Would you like to join me?” he asked.

You couldn’t help how your face shot up in surprise, how your eyes widened as you processed his words.

“What?”

Bucky looked you dead in the eyes, still scrutinizing, but he shifted on his feet as though a bit uncertain of himself.

“Well, Steve told me you liked to walk around the garden of his estate, and he insisted I try and keep your daily routine as unchanged as possible. If you were used to walking a lot, this apartment isn’t really big enough for that, so I thought you could join me in the city to get your steps in. We could take a turn around central park if you’d like,” Bucky said.

Walking. In the city.

You shook your head a little. No, you couldn’t do that. Were you even allowed? You doubted Steve meant for Bucky to take you into the city when he said to keep your routine unchanged. Still, an aching flare of need burst to life in your chest. Going outside. You wanted to go outside, to feel the breeze on your face, smell the rose garden, to listen to the birds. You knew you wouldn’t find much of that in New York city though.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, the need to get outside the glass cage that was the apartment warring with your uncertainty of being with all those people in the streets below. Things had not gone well the last time you’d done that. All that time ago, before things had become so good between you and Steve. Before he’d made you see you weren’t cut out for being independent. That you would be so much happier with him. Under his protection.

“Oh come on, it won’t take long, we’ll go as slow as you need,” Bucky said, and though his tone was lighter now, his eyes didn’t relent in their careful assessment of you.

Would he become more suspicious if you refused? You feared it. What normal woman would suddenly refuse to go for a walk if that was what she was used to? Maybe Steve wouldn’t mind. Or maybe you just desperately wanted to be somewhere else but inside the apartment all the way up in the sky like this, perched and dizzy.

“Okay,” you finally conceded.

You tried for a smile as Bucky bid you to meet him by the private elevator on the first floor in fifteen minutes.

The tiny hope that Steve wanted you to take walks down on the NYC streets soon died as you went through your closet and realized there was no coat nor any real shoes in the wardrobe Steve had curated for you. Uncharacteristically driven to succeed at your prerogative though, you put on a double pair of socks and the flat strappy sandals from way in the back of the closet, dorned your thickest cardigan and made your wobbly way downstairs.

Bucky was waiting by the elevator, checking something on his phone. A phone. How long had it been since you’d seen a mobile phone? He put it away as you approached, smiling as he lifted his gaze to you. His smile quickly turned to a frown as he looked over your outfit.

“It’s way too cold out for that, I’ll get your coat, and you should probably put on some boots,” he said, moving to go past you. Your hand shot out and landed on his chest, halting him.

“N-no, I, uh, I haven’t got any,” you blurted. His warmth burned through the layers of his sweater, distracting as your palm absorbed the heat.

His eyes narrowed on you.

“You haven’t got a coat or shoes?” he asked, and you just knew you’d revealed the wrong thing. This looked so bad.

“No, I do,” you lied,” Steve must’ve just forgotten to pack them when we moved, it all just happened so quickly, you know,” you said, smiling a little up at him, hoping he would back off at the reference to that night. “Anyway, I prefer these sandals. Bloated feet and whatnot.”

Bucky leveled you with his narrowed stare for a few seconds longer, probably weighing your words with whatever he could read on your face.

“All right, but I’m getting you one of my jackets. It’s a chilly day and I don’t want to risk your health,” he said sternly and made a beeline for his own room.

You breathed a sigh of relief, belatedly realizing he could’ve cancelled the whole outing outright because of this. You were suddenly quite…happy he didn’t. You were excited to go out, you realized, eager almost. And nervous, so nervous the baby was getting increasingly restless within you, moving about in your belly as you waited for Bucky to return, staring at the elevator doors in front of you.

You almost didn’t hear Bucky return with the way your blood pumped in your ears, not until a leather jacket was gently draped over your shoulders, the smell of a spicy cologne and well worn leather wafting into your nose. Not unpleasant, you realized as you insinuated your arms into it and brought it around yourself.

“Sorry, this is the only thing I have that I think’ll fit around your…um, well everything,” Bucky said, hesitating as he gestured vaguely at your belly and you noticed the faintest of pink dusting his cheeks.

How thoughtful…

“Thanks,” you said, closing the zipper at the front of the jacket tightly over your belly. It was snug, but it did indeed fit. Your outfit couldn’t have been more uncoordinated if you tried, with your woolen socks and strappy sandals, an ankle length satin dress and big, black leather jacket. But you didn’t care. You were going outside.

Adrenaline started pumping in your system the second the elevator pinged and the doors opened, and you again fought to keep up appearances and you stiffly moved into the little steel chamber to be taken down to ground level.

It’s perfectly normal to go outside, it’s perfectly normal to leave the house, there’s nothing to be afraid of, you kept repeating to yourself silently, avoiding looking in the direction of your chaperone.

You did well, you thought as you stared at the display above the door counting down the floor numbers until it only displayed a capitol “L” for lobby. Ground floor. Here we go.

Only, when the elevator doors opened, and there were several people waiting to ride it up, just standing outside, minding their business, not even looking at you…you couldn’t move.

Something was wrong, this was all wrong, you shouldn’t be doing this, you knew you shouldn’t.

In your peripheral vision, you noticed Bucky watching you, waiting for you to move ahead of him, observing even more of those things you were certain Steve wouldn’t want you to show him. The baby kicked your ribs.

“Come on, little lady,” Bucky murmured, and a warm, gentle hand on your back carefully nudged you forward. Under the guise of being heavily pregnant (which you were), you slowly moved forward, out of the elevator, not brave enough to meet the eyes of the people waiting, but murmuring thanks to them as they moved out of the way for you and Bucky.

Your breathing was choppy, and Bucky moved you to the side as soon as you were out of the way of the elevators. There was so much noise in the lobby, people milling about, music from somewhere, some children somewhere screaming with laughter, and through the opening doors all the way on the other side of the vast voajer, the deafening roar of city traffic filtered in.

Steve’s voice was suddenly loud in your head. You can’t make it out there, you’re too weak, too frail, they’ll swallow you whole, the voice whispered with finality, growing in volume, warping into a static roar. The laughter of the children turned to screams, the crowds noise became a deafening tsunami of sound, the blaring horns from cars hurting your ears as you squeezed your eyes shut and -

“Hey,” Bucky’s voice cut through the noise like a knife, bringing you back to your body with a pair of strong, warm hands on your shoulders, like anchors on your mind. “You’re okay,” he said, bowing his head to capture your gaze with his own.

You stared into his eyes, realizing you were about to spiral into your second panic attack that day, and that he’d calmed you down for the second time as well.

“What’s going on?” he asked, voice low and comforting, not drawing any attention to the two of you from the other people in the lobby.

“I’m, -” you rasped, realizing you were on the verge of hyperventilating, “I’m too weak,” you whimpered.

“Too weak for what? You look pale, is it the baby? Do you need to sit down?” Bucky asked, looking you over while keeping you from wobbling.

No, it wasn’t the baby, it was never the baby. It was you, you were too weak.

“No, the baby is fine, the baby is strong. It’s me, I’m too weak to make it out there on my own,” you nearly whined, eyeing the doors to the outside warily.

“What do you mean? You’re not alone. I’m here with you. And besides, you are strong, I felt it earlier,” Bucky said. You could tell he was sort of confused as to why he needed to give you a pep talk just to leave the lobby, but here he was. He put a hand on your belly, and the warmth of his palm could be felt through the layers of clothing, even through the leather of his jacket. The touch grounded you even more, sharpening your focus. You looked into his deep, earnest blue eyes. “You’re protecting the little one, right? You are his or her momma bear, and he or she gives you the strength and courage to do it, right?”

You stilled at those words, felt them absorb into you, felt them settle neatly somewhere deep inside you.

That’s…right. That’s it. Your baby gave you strength, unnatural amounts of strength, and you needed to protect your baby. Only you could protect your baby, you could feel it, deep down in the marrow of your bones, a deep-rooted unwavering certainty that could only be some instinctual thing inherited from all the mothers that came before you. How had you not noticed that before? How did Bucky manage to find the words that somehow unlocked that knowledge? Or maybe it’d been there the whole time…

Like a fog, the panic and anxiety lifted slightly from your hazy mind, and you laughed. Suddenly, a bit shakily, and incredibly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” you said, wiping at a few tears that escaped your eyes. You hadn’t even realized you were on the verge of tears.

Bucky smiled warmly.

“No need. I can’t imagine what all those hormones are putting you through, but if looks rough, I gotta tell you that. Now, how about we get on with the mission, if you’re still up for it?” he said, taking his hand off your belly and squeezing your shoulders reassuringly once before retreating them both from your form.

You nodded.

Your baby gives you strength, you protect your baby, you repeated in your head again and again as you followed Bucky to the doors. Though not a miracle cure, you found yourself steadily moving out the doors, into the streets, down the sidewalk, across to the next street and then on.

It was like watching yourself from outside your body. Here you were, just six weeks shy of your due date, walking the streets of New York city like a normal person. You kept expecting the world to explode, but it didn’t. You kept expecting the people meeting you on the street to brandish clubs or knives or needles to hurt you with, but they all pretty much ignored you.

Suddenly, Bucky had finished his errand and you found yourself waddling around Central Park with Bucky, breathing in the fresh air, listening intently for the bird song. You kept on the lookout for rose bushes to smell, but found the worm leather of your jacket made a surprisingly nice replacement. A child gave you a grin that lacked a front tooth and excitedly pointed at your belly before her mother pulled her away, scolding her for being rude. You couldn’t help waving at her and smiling as she was dragged away, looking back to find Bucky watching you, his eyes gentle, but guarded. He’d kept a close eye on you ever since leaving the apartment building, but strangely, you found yourself pushing the worries for what he might be thinking far away.

You hadn’t felt this calm in days. The breeze was gentle and cooling on the exposed skin of your face, your leg muscles thrummed pleasantly from how long you’d walked and the open sky above you made you feel like you could finally breathe properly again. You suspected Bucky might be part of why you felt so safe to just enjoy these sensations right now, but his words from earlier hadn’t stopped shining like a lighthouse in the back of your mind.

The baby gave you strength, and you would use that strength to protect your baby…and yourself. You had come to realize you’d already done that in the past. When that man had grabbed you from the closet in the mansion, you hadn’t freezed and cowered and yielded to whatever violence he’d dish out. You had defended yourself. You’d used the strength the baby gave you and protected you both. How had you not seen that as a reason for confidence before now?

Who knew how long those words could keep your anxiety at bay. For now, you made the most of this uncommon calm and said virtually nothing to Bucky for the rest of the walk before he took you back to the apartment complex.

The minute the elevator doors closed and locked behind you, and you reluctantly gave Bucky his leather jacket back, the threatening gloom of fear began to sink over you. You raised your chin, repeated your new found mantra to yourself and reflected on a new found experience you hadn’t believed possible. You had just been out almost all day in New York city, one of the busiest and most dangerous cities on the planet, and nothing had gone wrong. Fretful hope bloomed inside you. Maybe, just maybe things could work out for you. Maybe you didn’t have to be so scared shitless all the time. Hadn’t you lived and managed on your own before? In another life, all that time ago? Hadn’t that been you on your own for years before Steve entered your life?

You wobbled over to the couch, sighing deeply as you finally got your weight off your feet. Amazing as it was to feel the ache in your legs from muscles well spent walking, you could already feel all the aches in your body that Steve usually kept at bay with his massages, start to grow - beginning in your feet and lower back.

Steve…

Just the thought of him had you aching in an entirely different way. God, you missed his hands on your skin, how he fired up this all-consuming need in you, made you desperate for him. You were wound embarrassingly tight already, backed up in a way that was hard to ignore.

Before you could fall further into that line of thought, Bucky entered the living room. One look at him had your pleasant mood shifting.

“We need to talk,” he said.

[heartlaboratory]

It has been an harsh time for her. Workload almost tipled in the last months and with all the taxes and debts to pay she had to take everything on her own shoulders. There's no time to workout (not that she ever liked it) so to relax and fight the stress she relied a lot more on smoking. Today she has an important appointment with the lawyer after the work shift, an appointment she can't afford to miss. According to the Murphy's Law when something can go wrong it surely goes wrong and obviously a car crash made the traffic to jam. She's already late and the more time passes the higher her anxiety gets... She finally reaches the palace where the lawyer has his firm, obviously at the tenth floor and what else could have gone wrong? The elevator is out of service. "Ok Jade, you're completely out of shape and already out of breath but you're also 7 minutes late and you have to climb these stairs as fast as a lightning!!" She thinks to herself. Not even a decathlete would have made it as fast but once on the top, gasping as hell, suddenly she's struk by a strange sharp painful sensation in the center of her chest. The discomfort rapidly radiates to her whole left chest, her left arm, her back and up to the jaw. It is enough painful that she has to lean on the wall trying to not fall on the ground. She places her right hand over her heart where this sensation is the worst. Under her fingers she can clearly feel her heart beating like crazy and very ahrrythmic. As if it wasn't enough she feels like a steel ball was chained to it, pressing her heart with all its weight like it was trying to prevent it from beating. Her body knows that there's something wrong and her sympathetic nervous system is triggered giving her vertigo and nausea.

Symptoms described are related to a condition known as "angina". It happens when the coronary arteries, that are needed to bring oxygen and nutrients to the hear, are unable to fullfill the organ's need. Angina can be divided into a chronic coronary artery disease where, mainly due to an uncorrect life style (heavy smoking, drinking, eating and excessive stress), plaques build up in the lumen of the coronary arteries narrowing them. When the heart asks for more oxygen, like after phisical efforts, the need can't be satisfied and the organ starts to suffer giving a painful sensation (stable angina). The more occluded are the coronaries the lighter is the physical (or emotional) effort needed to trigger it. Things go bad when the condition turns into acute. In this case, after a series of molecular events, the plaque starts a coagulation cascade. The blood clot rapidly grows and completely block the artery causing a myocardial infarction (unstable angina). This condition can also be realized without a plaque when a coronary artery gets closed (or almost closed) by a spasm caused by chemicals or by psychological conditions. Symptoms of chronic coronary artery disease usually doesn't arise suddenly, they are felt as relatively bearable during the everyday life, getting worse over time and ignored till they become severe and dangerous. That's exactly what she did: each time she run up the stairs, she carried heavy loads, she had to fullfill impossible tasks at work and she felt her heart rate to rise she noticed a strange sensation in the chest and simply ignored it. Now those 10 floors of stairs in a row were simply too much and as she realizes she's having an heart attack, with her smartwatch in full alarm mode, she screams for help... hoping it's not too late.

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

“A Neanderthal child with Down’s syndrome survived until at least the age of six, according to a new study…

“The pathology which this individual suffered resulted in highly disabling symptoms, including, at the very least, complete deafness, severe vertigo attacks and an inability to maintain balance… Given these symptoms, it is highly unlikely that the mother alone could have provided all the necessary care while also attending to her own needs. Therefore, for ‘Tina��� to have survived for at least six years, the group must have continuously assisted the mother, either by relieving her in the care of the child, helping with her daily tasks, or both.”

…The fossil’s precise age has not been determined, but Conde-Valverde noted that the presence of Neanderthals at the Cova Negra site has been dated to between 273,000 and 146,000 years ago.”

[coldalbion]

WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE

While the researchers cannot be certain whether the fossil was that of a girl or a boy, they have nicknamed the Neanderthal child “Tina”. Tina’s combination of inner-ear abnormalities is known only in people with Down’s syndrome. “The pathology which this individual suffered resulted in highly disabling symptoms, including, at the very least, complete deafness, severe vertigo attacks and an inability to maintain balance,” said Mercedes Conde-Valverde, a palaeoanthropologist at the University of Alcalá in Spain, lead author of the study, published in the journal Science Advances. “Given these symptoms, it is highly unlikely that the mother alone could have provided all the necessary care while also attending to her own needs. Therefore, for Tina to have survived for at least six years, the group must have continuously assisted the mother, either by relieving her in the care of the child, helping with her daily tasks, or both,” Conde-Valverde added.

[sadhours]

Billy abuses his body more than Neil does. In ways he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. Handful of pain relievers on an empty stomach, then a few beers and a pack of Marlboro’s. It’s best when he everything’s a little fuzzy and he’s at the pharmacy and has to stop and blink because he’s not entirely sure if his next step is gonna land.

The symptoms of his dad’s abuse wasn’t ever clear to him for months. Like when he realized his fist couldn’t clench all the way after his arm broke. Or when his left eye would water constantly when Neil headbutted him and split open his eyebrow. But the waves of vertigo was something he didn’t realize was because of so many blows to the head. He thought for the longest time that he just needed his ears cleaned or something, like the disturbance in his equilibrium was because of that. But on a night where his head was pounding and his ears were ringing, he wondered if it was due to how often his dad was attacking his head. Smacking across his face, kicking the back of head, slamming his forehead into the wall. Any of it could probably explain this ever present dizziness.

It’s part of why he hasn’t left this shithole, he can’t even drive for long before he starts to panic and feel like he can’t even control his body anymore. The booze seems to help, or at least, he knows what being drunk feels like so it’s not as scary.

But like in the pharmacy, he’s sober. He’s here to pick up a prescription for Susan. And suddenly the shelves are spinning and everyone’s smiles are growing too big and Billy takes a deep breath as he plants his feet. It’s getting annoying. Wishes he could go see a doctor and figure it out but as soon as he turned 18, Neil took him off the insurance. And well, he saved money from the pool but not like, that much. He just swallows hard, tells himself he’s okay and continues on. To his shock, he doesn’t fall. But he does stumble into someone. Oh, fuck. Anyone but her.

“Billy, hi,” Karen’s makeup waves around her eyes but Billy knows he’s seeing shit and the thick blue shadow isn’t actually moving. “Are you okay?”

He raises his brows, his tongue feels too heavy in his mouth and he feels like he’s floating up and up and up and looking down at the pair of them in the middle of the incontinence aisle. His voice doesn’t sound like his own when he answers, sounds like it’s far away, “Just peachy, Mrs. Wheeler.”

An ice cold beer is calling his name. If only he can hurry up and get this task done. But time feels like syrup, too viscous for Billy to swim through. He tries to be conscious of his body, tells himself he’s blinking at Karen and he’s literally standing on his feet. Conversations are the worst when he gets like this. He’s saved on driving Max to school because he can blast his music and focus on that instead of how he feels like he’s floating.

“You look pale,” Karen sounds far away too, and also extremely irritating as he wants to be alone right now. All the time. “You sure you’re feeling well?” she presses the back of her hand against his forehead.

“Yeah, listen, great to see ya,” Billy grumbles as he pushes her hand away, “Even if it’s not in a swimsuit.”

Karen looks upset but Billy’s stepping away, floating down the aisle until he gets to the line which contorts fifty different ways and shapes until it’s his turn. He swears he hears a voice behind him but when he whips around, no one’s there. He places his palms on the counter, looks to the pharmacist and his stomach churns something wicked. Billy goes to say something but there’s this pitch black liquid spilling from his mouth and onto the counter. The pharmacist screaming tells him it’s not an hallucination.

[fungh0u1]

hi im so interested in your ocs btw, if you ever needed encouragement to post about them then here's some from me !! but no pressure obv

I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM! I am so flattered that you're interested ^.^. I made you an illustrated compendium.

Mutagenesis Drive is a zombie apocalypse story centered around the relationship between Joan and Marnie, two college age girls who have been friends for a long time.

THE CHARACTERS:

JOAN (our perspective character) has always considered herself "emotionless". She struggles to understand her own feelings, preferences and sensations and has been going through her life before the apocalypse without caring about or wanting anything... as far as she can tell. She's very analytical and intuitive when it comes to survival, and finds herself the brain of her and Marnie's little caravan, despite not having much of a preference if they live or die (right?).

MARNIE is Joan's best (and only, really) friend. She's stoic, like Joan, but unlike Joan it's out of just a socially inept demeanor instead of some internal issue. She is freakishly obsessed with Joan and would do anything to keep Joan from leaving her behind. She doesn't express that at all outwardly, though, because she is prone to defeatism and feels that Joan could never return her feelings and that it would be best to not complicate their relationship by acting needy or affected. Their friendship is actually pretty surface level as neither of them really know how to relate to other people. Marnie is happy to leave her dysfunctional family home when the apocalypse starts so she can spend all of her time with Joan.

THE PARASITE:

The zombies (zombies-ish, demons) in MGD are highly mutated creatures with different specialized forms resembling different types of animals. The world is very sparsely populated with surviving humans as these demons are very effective hunters. (a/n Skip on to "Joan and Marnie's Developing Relationship/Story Summary" if you don't give a fuck about this, I really don;t mind.)

Stage 1: The host is infected via blood to blood or saliva to blood contamination. Thousands of larva attack the host's immune system. There is an average 85% chance that the immune system will be overloaded and allow the parasite to progress. Symptoms begin ≈ 6 hours after initial infection. Fatigue. Fever.

Stage 2: The parasite implants in the host's frontal lobe and begins to spread its tendrils throughout the brain. The parasite can be removed surgically, but surgery is less viable the further it's progressed. Stage 2 is entered within 1-6 days. Confusion. Fatigue. Vertigo. Loss of motor control. Loss of higher thinking.

Stage 3: The host becomes aggressive, losing the ability to communicate. The host will instinctively begin to eat anything with nutritional value. The cells of the digestive system begin to be affected, causing the host's metabolism to increase and become more efficient. Within 8-12 days after the start of stage 2.

Stage 4: The structure of the host's body begins to mutate. Depending on the strain of parasite, it will begin to resemble different forms, some being adapted to swimming, flying, running, etc. After spending time hoarding and ingesting huge amounts of food and briefly hibernating, it retains its incredibly fast metabolism and begins to hunt, needing a lot of food to survive. Since it can reproduce by infecting others, it tries to infect any suitable hosts and return them to its nest until the parasitization reaches stage 4.

(^ Joan and Marnie fight a Harpy.)

JOAN AND MARNIE'S DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIP/STORY SUMMARY:

Joan and Marnie travel together in Marnie's van (Joan does not know how to drive). Joan is the "brains" of the operation, directing Marnie and herself as a tight unit to scavenge supplies. There's little room for error if they want to survive. Marnie is terrified of being left behind by Joan, knowing that she wouldn't be able to survive on her own but more than that just wanting to be around Joan (and to be her little dog).

Marnie often falls into maladaptive fantasies about Joan, though she's unable to convey her feelings in real life Marnie imagines Joan being a better person and having normal emotions. She has conflicting perceptions of Joan both as herself and as who Marnie wants her to be. However, these perceptions shift as time goes on.

Marnie grows increasingly resentful of Joan for making her do things she thinks are wrong. Marnie is wracked with guilt over these actions while Joan seems completely unaffected. It culminates with Joan telling Marnie to do something that will almost definitely cause the deaths of another group of survivors. Marnie does it but resolves to break things off with Joan. They come across a bustling research hospital that is willing to take them in. Their relationship is tense. They are quarantined together, then separately. Joan hasn't seen Marnie in days.

Joan is let out but finds that Marnie had tested positive for the parasite and is being treated. Through some series of events Joan realizes that Marnie, and many patients in the hospital, had been injected with the parasite to study its progression and treatment (Joan was overlooked because of her bad health).

Joan realizes that she wants to survive with Marnie and breaks them both out of the hospital, shooting and stabbing a good number of people to death. Upon leaving the building, the two of them see that the world outside of the hospital has been overrun by sprawling, terrifying, fleshy structures. It seems like their chances of survival are even worse than when they first entered the hospital. Still, they have each other. They find a vehicle and drive off into the sunset with hopeful dreams of the future.

CLOSING THOUGHTS:

MGD is not, like, totally fleshed out in my mind but this is my best estimation of how I want it to be. I originally conceptualized it as a comic, I would love it as a point-and-click adventure... or maybe a visual novel or an rpg... but I'm not fully sure what medium I'd want it to be in... I don't know! I would like to do something with it eventually and flesh it out more. What I wrote here may be a little contradictory or disorganized.

Well, I tried to give the best overview I could concisely but I maybe wrote a little too much!! I hope it's what you wanted, June, seriously THANKSS for asking me about them. Clearly I love to talk. Please feel free to make any comments about it or ask any followup questions anyone out there I do love to hear it.

[maddisandy]

September is Chiari Malformation Awareness Month!

Hi yes hello! Since many people probably aren't aware of it, I wanted to bring attention to something we ourselves have called chairi malformation at the start of its awareness month! Its recognized with a purple ribbon usually with a zipper on it (for the zipper scars of those who've had Chiari surgery)

What is Chiari Malformation?

Chiari (key-arr-ee) Malformation is a brain malformation in which the brain is too large, skull is too small, or some combination on the both, causing the cerebellar tonsils (and in some instances the brain stem) to slip through the skull and into the spinal chord.

Chiari is most typically a congenital effect. There are two main types (though they aren't the only ones). The most common of the two us Chiari 1, in which only the cerebellar tonsils are descended through the skull. The second most common, Chiari 2 (also known as Arnold-Chiari malformation) has more tissue herniation in the cerebellar tonsils and even the cerebellum, as well as brain stem herniation as well.

(See Below, the Cerebellar tonsils are marked in red while the brainstem is marked in green and yellow. This is considered a normal MRI)

Chiari malformation is likely to occur in 1 in 1,000 people, making it uncommon but not rare. The statistics are likely to be slightly higher than that for Chiari 1, as many people don't present symptomatically (and many incidents are only found in cases where the person was receiving radiological imaging for other instances such as head injury, so many people are unaware they had Chiari to begin with).

The only way to diagnose Chiari is through radiological imaging (many arguing upright MRI specifically is the only proper way to view the real level pf herniation). Herniation is measured down from the McRae line to the lowest point on the cerebellar tonsils. Depending on the accuracy of the machine (and which imaging tool is used) herniation can appear at different levels at different times. (See below, my first MRI looks markedly less in comparison to my second MRI, which features a roughly drawn on McRae line. In the second image I was noted to have a 7-8mm herniation.)

Symptoms

Chiari is marked by a number of symptoms and commorbidities, even moreso depending on the type you have. Symptoms can occur at any level of herniation. Some people with Chiari can have a 3mm descent and have debilitating symptoms, while some may have a 15 mm descent and be completely asymptomatic. The most common of these is occipital headaches & migraines, ranging from mild to severe, but many more are possible. These range from...

Balance Issues

Dizziness & Vertigo

Neck & Shoulder Pain

Difficulty Swallowing

Sore Throat

Sleep Apnea

Nausea & Vomitting

Tinnitus & Hearing Loss

Blurred Vision, Visual Snow, & Vision Loss

Muscle Weakness

Numbness or Pins & Needles (Caused by Nerve Damage)

Poor Motor Skills

Fatigue

Cognitive Difficulties (including but not limited to Brain Fog, Memory Problems, Confusion, & Difficulty Speaking)

Insomnia

Photophobia/Light Sensitivity

Syncope, Fainting, & Drop Attacks

Seizures

Dysautonomia

Since the cerebellar tonsils block the opening to the base of the skull, Chiari can halt the proper flow of CSF (Cerebral Spinal Fluid) between the brain and the spinal chord. Because of this, Syringomylia (cysts filled with CSF formed on the spine called Syrinxs) is considered common with Chiari. Other common disorders with Chiari are Scoliosis, EDS & Cervicocranial Instability, POTS, Tethered Spinal Chord Syndrome, Spina bifida, & Hydrocephalus.

So What's the Solution?

Well, the only known solution for Chiari as of right now is surgery. This surgery is called posterior fossa decompression-- in which a small portion of the base of the skull is removed from the Chiari patient to relieve pressure and give more room for the brain. The surgeon can then do for sone patients a duraplasty, in which the dura (or opening of the brain) is cut open and a patch of tissue is sewed into the incision to make the dura bigger and give even more room for the brain. Surgery can also be done as a preventative measure against syrinxes for those without them. In the case the patient also has a syrinx, more surgical procedure can be done to drain the cyst. In patients with EDS, special procedures must be made to avoid surgical complications and making things worse.

Surgery is not guaranteed to completely alleviate symptoms, but typically helps with some. However, due to large misunderstanding and disagreement on proper diagnostic traits of Chiari from doctors (most typically neurologists and neurosurgeons) many may be denied surgery for a number of years, and Chiari Diagnosis can take on an average of 4 years to officially receive.

Some go years experiencing symptoms and having "low lying cerebellar tonsils" (or similar language, such as incidental tonsillar ectopia) noted on their radiology reports without doctors officially recognizing it as Chiari. In this time many are misdiagnosed with other disorders such as chronic headaches, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, and more before finally finding a doctor who will listen. Many will brush off the radiological findings as just a difference in your brain being formed at birth before admitting the symptoms can be due to Chiari. It can take years of your own patient advocacy before someone finally listens.

This is why awareness to it is so important, in hopes of reaching other people and doctors and forming a stronger understanding of the condition from information found by experts on it and those with Chiari themselves. With more awareness comes more accessibility to treatment and surgery so those who are symptomatic can hopefully find some relief. So this month send a little love & luck to those with Chiari!

[boysbellyrubs]

Miserably Sick Alistair

this one didn’t turn out quite how I wanted it too. I feel like I always use the same words and it’s never fleshed out enough, but nonetheless here it is :)

cw: slight panic attack

---

“Nikau…something’s wrong.” 

Alistair had woken up with his body feeling all out of whack. He had gone to sleep fine, but it was now 3 am and everything was feeling funky. 

“Hm?” Nikau groaned, still half asleep. 

Alistair shook him with the little strength he had. He couldn’t make a fist and his arm felt like jelly, “I feel funny.” The more he sat in the darkness, the more his overall weird feeling morphed into the beginnings of a fever. 

Nikau got up then, “Funny how?” His voice was scratchy, and Alistair heard the sheets rustle as he fumbled to turn on the lamp. 

Alistair sat still, his head was swimming and the piercing light of the lamp made him flinch, disrupting his temporary peace he had with his body. Nikau crawled in front of him, hands cupping Alistair’s jaw, 

“What’s up, sweetheart?” Alistair melted. 

“I don’t really know, I just don’t feel very good.” Nikau’s hand moved to his neck and forehead, and if he had to guess by the look on his face, he had a gnarly fever. 

“I just think you’ve caught a bug, you’re pale and you're burning up. Can you tell me your symptoms?” 

Alistair didn’t know if he could. Everything felt wrong, pinpointing an accurate symptom was impossible for his fever ridden brain. He shut his eyes and groaned, shaking his head like a petulant toddler. Nikau sighed a little, smoothing Alistair’s long hair away from his neck and forehead. 

“Alright, how about we just try and go back to sleep. Have some water.” Nikau helped him take a few sips of his water, and then gently got him into bed. Alistair was anxious about falling asleep, what if he woke up vomiting? Or his brain melted and he never woke up? What if- 

“Woah, woah, sweets I can see your brain churning away. Don’t panic, I’m right here.” Nikau kissed his forehead. Alistair stared into his boyfriend's eyes, he was safe. It would be okay. 

—

The sun was just rising when Alistair woke; the first slivers of dawn shining through the curtains, and normally this would make Alistair smile. This morning was not the same. He instead woke up with his dinner from last night and the measly sips of water churning violently in his belly. Sweat dripped from his temple, the ceiling was spinning and he was far too hot. 

He pushed the covers off, knocking Nikau’s arm off him in the process. The air on his body caused goosebumps to bloom on his exposed skin, his body now switching to being too cold. He groaned, he felt terrible. 

Nikau stirred next to him, “Star…you good?” 

“No, I feel really sick.” He put his hand gently on his middle and felt it gurgling under his hand. God, how could he have gotten this sick so fast. Closing his eyes didn’t even help that much, the vertigo was relentless even in darkness. 

Nikau sat up properly and gingerly touched Alistair’s arm. The boy’s skin was burning, flushed cheeks and sweat soaked hair. A shower, Nikau thought. 

“Hey, love, why don’t you have a shower? You may feel a little better.” 

Alistair moaned, hand digging into his belly, “No, I feel like I’m going to throw up.” He shook off Nikau’s hand, his skin was sensitive and Nikau’s thumb rubbing on his arm was like electricity. The nausea was rising as this conversation went on, it was all consuming and it made him panic. Like he was being filled up from the inside and it was seconds away from spilling out of him in a violent flood. 

“Oh, like right now?” Nikau was already helping him up. Alistair swayed and groaned at his change in position, blood rushing into his ears. He nodded, his free hand covering his mouth as saliva started to collect in his mouth. Swallowing was no help, more spit would replace it and a gag broke through his battle. 

Nikau shushed him, he had managed to get Alistair standing but the boy looked wildly unsteady. He stumbled more into Nikau as he gagged again, cheeks puffing out with bile. Alistair thankfully was lucid enough to keep his hand over his mouth, but Nikau knew they were running out of time. 

The bathroom wasn’t too far from their bedroom, but considering Alistair was walking at the speed of an 80 year without his walker, it was going to be a long trip. The boy was barely breathing, gripping his belly with one hand and clamping his mouth closed with the other. 

“Almost there, sweetheart. Just hold on a little more.” Nikau hoped his words were getting through to Alistair. 

Alistair’s belly gurgled loudly, finally beginning to get angry at being ignored. Alistair curled over a little, the cramps now setting in. Nikau shushed him again, finally in the bathroom and practically pushed Alistair over the toilet. 

He was still fighting his vomiting, gagging and swallowing whatever splashed into his mouth. Nikau crouched down beside him, “You can let it out now, Star. Just get it up.” He rubbed his back. 

With that, Alistair’s hand fell from his mouth and he spat a large glob of vomit into the water. He needed no help as his next breath was a retch and more chunks of food came flooding out of his mouth. He coughed on a particularly harsh retch, face scrunching in pain. Another gag and more vomit poured into the toilet, it was the most Nikau had ever seen Alistair throw up in one go.

Nikau felt Alistair trembling, his muscles slowly losing their strength. Wave after wave of vomit came rushing out of his boyfriend, each time he swore his fever was increasing, and each time he looked closer to passing out. His eyes were shut and his breathing was ragged, well, the tiny breaths he did get in between vomiting. 

Finally, it seemed Alistair’s stomach had calmed a little. He spat the last tendrils from his mouth. All of his strength disappeared then; he slumped heavily into Nikau’s arms, grating coughs and groans punctuating the room. 

Nikau brushed his hair back from his forehead, “How are you feeling?” He knew it was a stupid question but he couldn’t not ask. 

“Terrible. I feel like I’m dying.” He groaned, turning sideways a little to tuck his head into Nikau’s chest. His forehead felt like it was burning a hole into Nikau’s shirt, reminding him that Alistair needed to shower. 

He kissed his hair, “I know you feel like shit right now, Star, but you need a shower. Just a quick one.” Alistair moaned, sinking further to the ground at his words. Only now did Nikau wish they had a bath. 

Without making Alistair move, he flushed the toilet, grabbed a little bit of toilet paper and gently wiped away the lasting vomit and tears from his boyfriend’s face. He looked half asleep, the fever was doing a number on him. Nikau got him sitting up in front of him, 

“You’re really not well, sweets.” He frowned, cupping Alistair’s face softly. Alistair had never acted like this before. It was uncomfortable to see his usually energetic boyfriend so subdued. 

With as much care as he could, he made Alistair sit up against the sink cabinet while he turned the shower on. He helped Alistair undress, then himself, and somehow he got them both in the shower. 

The first five minutes were okay, Alistair seemed a little more alert. Nikau washed his hair, kissing his shoulders and neck. The shower was a little cold for him, lukewarm at best, but it seemed to be helping Alistair. But, after his hair was washed, Alistair tipped backwards slightly, 

“Woah, are you alright?” Nikau asked, grabbing Alistair’s shoulders tightly. He shook his head, and Nikau noticed his hand had gone back to his stomach, “Are you gonna throw up again?” Despite the water rushing down his face, Nikau didn’t miss the tears leaking out his eyes too. He sighed a little, kissing Alistair’s cheek, 

“You can vomit here, probably the best place for it.” 

Alistair didn’t need to be told twice. He bent over slightly and let his mouth open. He burped up a wave of hot sick into the drain, Nikau was glad he was heavily desensitised to this stuff, given the kink he had. However, now was not the time as Alistair coughed up another wave. He sounded awful. 

Nikau rubbed his back, kissing in between his shoulder blades and making sure the boy didn’t fall face first into the wall. This round wasn’t as long, Alistair sniffling and groaning as he straightened up. 

“All done?” 

Alistair nodded, “Think I’m empty.” He mumbled. 

Nikau smiled, kissing his shoulder again. He washed Alistair’s body a little, not wanting to keep the boy standing for much longer. It seemed he was ready to sleep right then and there. 

Getting dressed was a little challenging but they managed. Alistair was now sitting on the edge of the bed, back hunched and eyes falling closed. It felt like his soul was floating just above his body, each muscle slack and head swimming. Nikau was getting some medicine for him, apparently his fever still felt dangerously high. 

Nikau returned, holding a glass of water, a bowl and two small pills.

“Okay, take these for me please. Don’t drink too much water or you’ll upset your belly again.” Alistair complied, gulping down the fever reducers with only one mouthful of water. He saw Nikau’s expression and took another sip, heart skipping when Nikau smiled at him. 

Sleep came easy to him, vomiting twice in one hour was enough to send him almost straight to sleep. 

—-

His sleep didn’t last long however. It was probably an hour later when Nikau heard Alistair stir. He turned around from the desk and saw him opening his eyes slowly and squinting at the ceiling. 

“Good nap?” Nikau chanced. From the look of it, the answer was going to be a no. 

Alistair sat up, eyes foggy and arm wrapped around his stomach. Nikau approached him, sitting on the edge of the bed just in his line of sight. Alistair didn’t look at him though, he looked like he was in a daze. 

He waved a hand in front of his face, “Yoo hoo, Star. Where are you right now?” 

The response was a very upset stomach gurgle, and another very upset moan from Alistair. Nikau grabbed the bowl and put it in his lap, and Alistair spared no time in spewing up even more food. Nikau hoped the pills had time to do their job, he didn’t feel like forcing Alistair to down another two. 

Alistair coughed, a gurgling burp travelling up his throat as another splash of sick landed in the bowl. It was getting weaker and he was only bringing up stomach acid now, no doubt burning up the inside of his oesophagus. Alistair moaned at a violent grumble, his hand pushing into his bloated stomach, 

“It hurts, Nik.” He whimpered, the first words he had spoken in over an hour. Nikau’s heart shattered right then and there. 

“I know it hurts, love, I know. You’re okay.” Nikau moved behind Alistair, rubbing his back and rubbing his stomach. Alistair was dry heaving now, and his muscles were slamming roughly inwards. Nikau tried to get him to calm down, putting more pressure onto his back and telling him to breathe. Alistair didn’t seem to stop though, 

“I-I can’t…breathe.” He forced out. 

Nikau took the bowl away now, moving even closer to Alistair, “Okay, just try and follow my breathing. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He took Alistair’s hand and put it on his chest. He breathed in deeply, pushing his chest out as far as he could, then let it go, letting Alistair’s hand sink inwards. He repeated those steps, eventually calming Alistair down enough so his breathing was even and his eyes were locked onto Nikau’s. 

He smiled, “That’s it. You’ll be okay, my Star.” Alistair shuddered, a raspy sigh spilling from his lips. He flopped forward, head landing right on Nikau’s shoulder. He inhaled deeply, trying to fill his whole body with the smell of his boyfriend. The smell of safety. He was the only one who could calm him down from that, and he was so grateful to have him. 

Nikau hugged him softly, tracing his fingers up and down the grooves and bumps of Alistair’s spine.

“Can you stay with me?” Alistair’s voice was shot. 

Nikau nodded, “Of course I will. Lie back down.” He got into bed next to Alistair, putting his hand on Alistair’s upset stomach. Alistair put his hand on Nikau’s chest, tucking his nose into his collarbone and letting his overworked muscles finally relax. 

Nikau hoped that the next time he woke up it wouldn’t be so traumatising. 

---

[ivesterrarium]

Thank you for the tag @adoresbenho and @go-catch-a-chickn!

Last song: Things to Do – Alex G

Favorite colour: Probably blue and greyish green

Last movie/show: I can’t remember the same but it’s this really shitty bodyswap movie where this family switches bodies and a kid nicknames his friend Elon after Elon fucking Musk (actually gagged).

Currently watching: Rewatching Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared :)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet and savoury, I have such a bad spice tolerance. I can barley eat Cumberland sausages lmao

Relationship status: Single and absolutely not looking for love

Current obsession: TMR, but aren’t I always obsessed with TMR?

Last thing I googled: light-headedness, vertigo, hot – most of my symptoms, I think I’m coming down with something :(. Google said I either had low blood sugar, heat exhaustion (despite it being February) or a heart attack (which is a little concerning, considering I have a heart condition). I think I’m gonna take the low blood sugar and eat some ice cream or something lol.

No pressure tags: @hope92100 @bellzsad @its-tea-time-darling + anyone else who'd like to join :)

[mageofseven]

Repressed Love: A DiaLuci Love Story

Chapter 3

Third chapter is here! Here's your tags too! @astroseuss @zarakem

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Lucifer had no appetite. Although his physical symptoms disappeared thanks to Lord Diavolo's presence, there was only so much the prince could do in regards to his emotions and since the pride demon had left House of Lamentation, he hadn't exactly been too chatty.

Diavolo was there when his love told his brothers the situation, about the child and how he will be staying at the castle for a while. His physical presence was all the man could offer, however. Like always, Lucifer preferred handling his brothers on his own and Dia respected that as always. Still, it was heartbreaking to hear Satan say such things to Lucifer.

The blonde...reacted just as poorly to the news as one would expect. Another child? Being brought into this world the same way he was? The wrath demon could not think of a worse crime. After all, he lived it. Wasn't what he went through enough? Why must another child have to suffer?

Satan was furious and transformed. He told Lucifer that he was a heartless, spineless man who didn't know how to deal with his problems without pushing them onto children. And Lucifer said nothing.

Maybe it was his passiveness that helped the situation or maybe it was all Satan himself, but seeing his son calm himself down and disengage from the situation, walking away without destroying the furniture or attacking him...Lucifer felt proud of his son. He also felt a nagging sadness that his son had to grow to that point on his own. Lucifer gave him those anger issues. Satan battled them on his own.

The rest of the brothers expressed surprise and exhaustion at the idea of another baby being born into the family, but none reacted as badly as Satan. And why would they? This situation wasn't nearly as personal, nearly as raw to them as it was to the blonde.

Lucifer wished he could have saved his son from all of his pain, just like he has a chance to with this child. The man gave a small scoff as he thought about all of this.

If only wishes amounted to something in this world. If only--

"My Light, you really should eat." Diavolo interrupted his thoughts. "Your child needs that food just as much as you do."

Lucifer pursed his lips and looked away from the other man. The prince was right, but the former angel wasn't in the mood to accept such. All he could think about was his son, about how much he's hurt Satan, and about his words.

What if Satan was right? What if Lucifer never learns to handle his own emotions? What if he's stuck in a cycle of having children bear his burdens for him? What if he'll never be strong enough to face his own issues? What if--

Lucifer felt lips press against his forehead. He looked up and finally noticed that Dia had risen from his chair and leaned in front of him.

"Diavolo--"

"Shhh." The prince gently shushed his love before picking up the fork from Luce's plate, stabbed some food on it, and offer it up to the man's lips.

The pride demon slapped the fork from the redhead's hand, sending it clanking to the floor.

"I am not a child." He scowled at man. "I can feed myself when I choose to eat."

It felt so demeaning to the pride demon that the other man would try to feed him like that, as if he was some troubled child refusing to eat his dinner. Pregnancy or not, he was a grown man

...And Diavolo was just looking out for him and his child. Devil, his own indignation made him into the very thing he became angry with the man for treating him like. The problem wasn't Diavolo; as always, it was him for--

A wave of vertigo hit him just before the pain in his abdomen hit. The pregnant man fell out of his chair and was caught by his love.

"Lucifer!" The man barely heard his love through the pain. "Lucifer, look at me!"

It took a great deal of effort for the pained man to raise his head. His eyes met the golden orbs above him though and suddenly he felt a warm comfort descend upon him.

Diavolo launched his arms around his love and hugged him close. Lucifer only noticed in this moment that the excruciating pain he felt moments ago was now gone and replaced with the prince's loving embrace.

"I...Diavolo, what exactly just happened?"

The man pulled back and smiled apologetically at him.

"I'm afraid you became a bit too overwhelmed and...progressed."

The pride demon followed the man's eyes and saw that his stomach had expanded enough to break three or four buttons off of his jackets, which were now somewhere on the other side of the room.

"I...oh devil, no..."

He was going to run out of time at this rate! The longer he can stay pregnant, the better of a chance he has to save his child from a life of pain. When he felt the shame of treating Diavolo how he did just for looking out for him, he couldn't handle it. He was suppose to take care of others; not the other way around! Not knowing how to handle it still, he tried shoving that emotion deep into himself like he always did.

If...If it wasn't for Diavolo, he very much could have given birth right here on the dining room floor. Instead, the prince calmed his heart, causing his child to only grow within him instead of ripping their way out of him.

"Hey...Hey, it's alright." Dia saw the tears in Lucifer's eyes, tears the pregnant man had no clue were there.

The prince leaned in and kissed his love. Lucifer's eyes went wide before he closed them, causing the tears to fall. The pride demon found so much peace with the other man's lips on his.

Dia tried breaking the kiss too soon. As he pulled away, Lucifer tugged on the prince's tie and brought him right back down to his Light. Eyes wide in surprised, but no complaints in sight, the two continued their kiss till the pride demon broke away.

Diavolo stared at his love with warm eyes and a soft smile.

"Come. Let's finish eating." The prince helped the now bigger and more off-balanced man to his feet and back into his chair.

Since Lucifer's fork was currently on the floor, Dia took his own from his plate and took some food from Luce's before offering it up to the man once more.

This time, the dark haired man took a breath, laid a hand on his new belly, and accepted the food from the prince.

Lucifer...from here on out, the man had to deal with a lot of things that made him uncomfortable; his child was depending on him to go through it all. He can't afford to fight it anymore. That experience...it terrified the man, but was also just the reminder he needed. He lost much needed time because of the growth, but hopefully he's learned from his mistake and can make up for it.

...Hold on, baby. Daddy's trying for you.

[bipolbur]

guy with vertigo experiencing vertigo symptoms: holy shit im having a heart attack

[phoenixastramurdercore]

(Personal Stuff) Survived Yet again! Had a Mini Stroke, Worried bc Stroke Survivor!

Hey, I wanted to get back into art so bad I might need to go a bit slow. I had a major stroke 7 years ago and recovered pretty well over the years despite having multiple physical disabilities, lots of my memories recovered, my mobility recovered(besides pain issues and some other disabilities that spike if I move around TOO much)

And chronic fatigue isn't as bad/fluctuates. But I have to get more excercise even if it hurts me so that also leaves less time to draw and I have to take it easy/not think too hard about anything right now. I was really excited to get back into art and like do a whole bunch of stuff! But for some reason my overexcitement to do all the things game me a ton of symptoms over the past week of when I had a stroke like right before I had one, besides the face droop mostly I had a mini stroke yesterday and It was fairly short. I feel better today, I'm okay, But I wanted to let you guys know I've been gone for a while because my healths been really, really bad hahaha. I keep trying to improve it and do what I can, my physical body is so so sensitive to just mental overthinking and silly stuff to the point where I was overexerting my...brain? it's really hard to explain. Anyways! I'm fine, I'm okay, but I gotta go real slow at everything rn because that leaves me very prone to having an actual stroke again, and I don't want to know what another one would do if I survived it. Just MAN ya'll this just a note like take care of yourself, not trying to make anyone *panic* but stress is so so real and is so dangerous, legitimately. A lot of drs neglected my severe anxiety/panic attacks for yeaaaaarss like I was having panic attacks so often they eventually became seizures, and then I got more and mor health issues wrong with me. Stress can destroy you from the inside out. My dad also thinks I had a stroke or something like a stroke when I was 19/20 or something like that and he didn't know it was one at the time! and I didn't even know it happened. So if you aren't aware please know what the signs are. I had eye twitching and bad dizziness/vertigo for days and I could barely comprehend/what was being said to me, kept misunderstanding stuff and was reading/hearing things wrong and could not process stuff correctly. i kept forgetting what I was doing, or where I was or if some stuff existed. Now it's hard because some of my anxiety stuff can do things like that too. But the migraines and headaches I've been getting have been so bad, but then the numbness on one side came, and it was worse on the left side of my face(which is where I got face droop years ago) and my words werent totally slurred but weren't coming out right. WHEW. Following up with my dr soon and specialists..but they are booked far out so I hope she can see me sooner. But seriously guys take care of your mental health. You NEVER know what will happen fr. Life is so unpredictable! Stay strong <3 And prioritize your health no matter what happens.