#ventress: he's not my brother but yes absolutely

[ladyanidala]

Goodie, I get to talk about TBB and y'all get to suffer :D

I got into the show bc it was the next thing Star Wars released, lol. I watched the final two episodes of TCW and didn't want to let the show go, and so I started up with TBB when it released.

Crosshair, because he's such a complex character. I've always liked him, and it made me so happy to get much more screentime with him this past season!

No, I've liked all the members for their quirks.

My favorite non-Batch character from the show would have to be Phee. I have to admit, I really didn't like her at first, but she's grown on me tremendously. Love you, Phee!

Out of all the characters, I relate to Crosshair the most. I may not have tried to kill my family, but the guilt he carries from his actions? The way he tries to sacrifice himself in a way to atone for his mistakes? That I can relate to.

Favorite villain? Ventress. Granted, she's not totally a villain, but I've grown to love her character, especially since starting Dark Disciple.

Crosshair. Without a doubt, Crosshair.

I can see Echo and Hunter trading off movie night, or picking up slack where the other accidentally drops it. Mom and Dad of the Batch, respectively.

Something I didn't notice? It wasn't until I saw a tweet on here from the lighting guy (Joel Aron, I think???) that I noticed the foreshadowing and connection to the plot that the lighting has on the show. Absolutely incredible making that connection and then seeing it play out!!

One uncommon headcanon I have that I haven't seen anywhere else is that Hunter will absolutely go somewhere with a guitar for several hours and just jam out. It gives him space that he needs from his family, it gives him the ability to choose the stimulation he can handle, and he gets to sing. What a win for my man.

One character moment that I see unappreciated in the show is the one where Hunter yells Tech's name when the ship is impounded after he ran outside Cut's house. The animation is just so great with Hunter's body language, and ok yes, maybe it looks a little attractive, sue me.

s3, ep5 lives in my head rent free. Give me all the emotional angst and resolution, I neeeeeed ittttttttt

My favorite way to participate in the fandom is lurk. Ofc, I do exchanges and stuff, which is so much fun(!!!), but I love to see what others come up with! It's truly a blessing to see what our love for this show brings forth!

Omega, with Wrecker a close second. Omega has the shrillness to pierce the ears of everyone around her, hahaha.

Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair. Ofc, if I'm adding in Echo and Omega, then Echo, Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, and Omega. You'll have to pry my Tech/Crosshair twin headcanon from my cold, dead hands.

My favorite episode from the show would have to be either s3 ep5 or the one where Hunter and Wrecker go to space Louisiana. Bros are fighting for their lives, and Crosshair and Omega get to chill, what a great time XD

My least favorite episode is the s2 finale for multiple reasons almost all relating to Tech. I refuse to watch it ever again. I was nauseous for a good 30 minutes after watching it once, and I will never do it again.

Honestly, the best memory I have associated with the show is staying up until 3 AM when the episodes for s3 would drop so I could facetime @aknightreaderr after so we could screech about what we'd just seen, lololol. Great stuff, I loved it.

Brother Bear, they'd 100% love Brother Bear.

My favorite thing about the fandom is how wild we can get, and how often we can come to the same conclusion independently of each other (like how Tech is alive).

Bonus question - Yes, 1000% committed voter fraud and I have 0 regrets. 99% sure my prompts sandwiched the rankings for the first 26 prompts too, which makes it all worth it, lol

Tagging: @aknightreaderr @callmevexx @ahsokathegray and anyone else who wants to join!

BAD BATCH 20 QUESTIONS

Get to know your fellow Bad Batch fandom community! Answer the following 20 questions! (Thanks to everyone who submitted questions for this Ask Game!)

Answer the questions and tag whoever you'd like to see their answers too 🥰

When/How did you get into the show?

Who is your favorite character from the show and why?

Was there a member of the Bad Batch you didn't like at first? If so, why? Has your view changed?

Who is your favorite non-Batch character?

Which character from the show do you most relate to?

Who is your favorite villain/antagonist from the show?

If you needed a Bad Batcher to help you commit a crime, who would it be?

Which Bad Batcher would be in charge (or take charge) of movie night?

What's something you didn't notice the first time watching the Bad Batch? (Or...what's something you didn't notice until someone else in the fandom pointed it out)

What is one strange head canon you have about any of the Bad Batchers that you haven't seen anywhere else?

What is a character quote/moment that is under appreciated from the show?

What scene/moment from the show lives in your head rent free?

What's your favorite way to participate in the Bad Batch Fandom?

Which Bad Batcher would scream the loudest on a rollercoaster?

Based on vibes alone, what is the "birth order" of the Batch? (Oldest, middle, youngest)

What's your favorite episode from the show and why?

What's your least favorite episode from the show and why?

Do you have any fun memories associated with the show?

What family movie would the Cadet Batch watch on repeat?

What is your favorite thing about being part of the Bad Batch fandom?

BONUS QUESTION

Did you commit voter fraud during prompt voting for @summer-of-bad-batch? 😂 (I have a google sheet that I'll share screenshots of at the end of the challenge with PROOF of the insanity of Summer of Bad Batch voter fraud...peak insanity, peak hilarity, loved every moment of it!)

No Pressure Tags: (all the Summer of Bad Batch community...I'd tag y'all, but that tag list would get insanely long...you know who you are 😘)

[void-bitten-ghost]

Crack ship I never thought would come up today

Bo-katan and Asaaj

Let me just explain real quick

Me and a mate were going on about an au where, somehow, it's Maul and Savage vs Ahsoka and Asaaj in the throne room during the siege. Like, I know it gets rid of the whole duality thing and the 'we're the same but different' stuff but Hear Me Out

Something about Palps delaying dealing with Maul and Ahsoka actually teaming up with Asaaj because she owes her for that one time or something.

But yeah, this would mean Interactions between Bo-Katan and Asaaj. The possible rivalmance. The 'you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid' energy. Bo having to deal with a very openly sexual and powerful force user Challenging Her at every turn.

Oh and also Palps turning up in the throne room and it being Maul, Savage, Asaaj, and Ahsoka vs Emperor Palpatine because Big Threat and Reasons would be so cool dont judge me

I dunno my dudes. I just Really wanna hear the soundtrack for that kinda fight

[phoenixyfriend]

The Family Tree is... a Disaster

Takes place in the TCW Leverage AU. It does contain a few deviations, namely that the narrative ended up shifting Plo's role in Ahsoka's life, and Ventress's role overall.

This is mostly just dialogue where I outline the fuckery that is the disaster lineage family tree, not actual fic. It stemmed from my incessant need to justify "25yo Obi-Wan somehow got custody of 9yo Anakin without Shmi dying."

Warnings for: canon character death (modernized), canon violence (modernized), and references to Nazis and white supremacists (Palpatine collects WWII weaponry as a parallel to his canon display of Sith artifacts in his office as chancellor, and Ahsoka thinks it's sketchy)

----

"Okay," Cody says, setting down a glass of whiskey as he drops into the seat across the table. "What the hell is your family tree like?"

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, and continues cleaning off the definitely-not-stolen crystal komodo dragon he'd won in today's job. "I beg your pardon?"

"You and Skywalker," Cody says, gesturing between Obi-Wan, who is just sitting there minding his own business, and Anakin, who is across the closed-for-tonight bar and doing something inadvisable on the pool table. "You've said he was your brother, and mentioned raising him, which, sure, I'm over twenty years older than my youngest brother, people take over parenting roles all the time. But you have different last names, have mentioned stepfamilies that the other doesn't have, reference things as 'your aunt, not mine,' and I am just getting... very confused. I figured it was personal and I could leave well enough alone, but considering your older brother almost shot us today--"

"Okay, Xanatos is not my brother," Obi-Wan immediately says. "Just. I just have to stop you right there. Xanatos was a student of my father's for a time, but I promise he's not family. Nobody except maybe Komari would consider him even close, and she doesn't count since she's in prison for life and the farthest thing from stable."

Cody gestures. "That, Obi-Wan. That's what I'm talking about. I don't even know who Komari is."

Obi-Wan purses his lips in a failed attempt to not smile. "Do you actually want the explanation? It's long and unnecessarily complicated."

"So's mine," Cody snorts. Obi-Wan waits, patient and pleasant, and is rewarded when Cody sighs. "Please."

"Of course, my dear. To answer your first question, though, Anakin is my half-brother." With a smile, Obi-Wan digs a piece of paper and a pen from his briefcase. "So, center of the chain: me, my father Qui-Gon, my grandfather Yan, and my great-grandfather Yoda. With me so far?"

"Easy enough. Do you have to go back that far?"

"Great-grandfather Yoda is still alive and regularly escaping the old folks' home to terrorize younger relatives, so yes," Obi-Wan says. "Given that you may just meet a tiny, meddling relative of mine when he's bored, we do in fact have to go back that far."

"...how old is he?"

"We don't know for sure. A hundred and eight-ish is the best guess." Obi-Wan shrugs. "It's not a huge deal, mostly he likes bothering Anakin these days. Anyway, grandfather. Yan Dooku. Inherited a minory duchy from his maternal grandfather decades back. Mostly hangs around there because he's on terrorist watchlists in the States."

"Oh, lovely."

Obi-Wan grins. "Trust me, it gets worse. Anyway, grandfather never actually married, but spent most of his time with his 'best friend' Sifo Dyas, who died about a decade back."

"Gay?"

"Well, we know that now, but they got together in the seventies, and this was back when they were both working government jobs, so, you know. It happens."

"Good to know," Cody says. "So, Yoda's kid is Yan, who inherited a title and land from a maternal relative, and had a life partner but never married. With you so far."

"All of Yan's kids were adopted," Obi-Wan continues, sketching out the first branch away from the Yan/Sifo partnership. "Rael was actually grandfather's cousin, maternally, and ended up in his custody after getting orphaned at five. These days, he does most of the stewardship duties at the Serenno Duchy. His daughter Nim is teaching military history at a university in Germany."

Cody nods. "Uncle number one is named Rael, technically your dad's cousin, has a daughter. Got it."

"About a decade after Rael, they adopted my father, Qui-Gon. He and grandfather fought, frequently, but they did care for each other. My father was a botanist, did bio-engineering. We'll get back to him later, because he's where things get complicated." Obi-Wan made sure to leave room around the name. "Just a few years older than me was--is--Komari Vosa. She is... serving a life sentence. I think she fought Jango once."

"She fought my father?"

"To the best of my knowledge, they both almost died, yes," Obi-Wan says. "She's in maximum security these days. She was an assassin. I'll get a call if she breaks out, and I'll let you know along with everyone else."

"Bad news auntie, got it."

"Last adoption, sort of, is Ventress," Obi-Wan finishes off. "A few years younger than me, is technically grandfather's personal assistant and does secretarial work and the like, but we all know he's planning to leave as much of the inheritance to her as he is to the rest of us. She's aggressive and unpleasant, but she takes care of him and hasn't actually threatened to kill any of us yet, so that's fine."

"How'd she join?" Cody asks.

"Ky Narec was a friend of Qui-Gon's; Ventress was his daughter. Ky died a few years after Qui-Gon did, and Ventress was a mess, after." Obi-Wan shrugs and scratches that connection into the little sketch of a family tree as well. "Grandfather offered her a job until she got herself back together, and then she just kind of... stuck around."

"Youngest aunt, more of a cousin." Cody summarizes. "Now we go back to your father?"

"Qui-Gon Jinn was a man of many skills," Obi-Wan says drily. "Adequate birth control was not one of them."

It's almost a pity that Cody wasn't drinking anything, because going by the way he chokes, Obi-Wan's pretty sure the spit take would have been spectacular.

"I'm sorry," Cody says. "Can you repeat that?"

"I was an accident," Obi-Wan says, not even bothering to hide his smile. "So was Anakin."

"So that sounds like... a story."

"It is," Obi-Wan confirms. "My biological mother has never been in the picture. They had a fling, she wasn't sure if she'd want to abort or give me up, just that she wasn't ready to be a parent, and Qui-Gon volunteered to take full custody so she could go back to her life after the birth. I've never met her, but I kept her family name. You can consider her irrelevant beyond that."

Cody nods.

"So, when I was about a year old, Qui-Gon reconnects with an old flame, they get married two years later. Step-mother number one is Tahl. Lovely woman, I absolutely adored her, and she had a daughter, my stepsister, Bant Eerin."

"I met her, right?" Cody asks.

"Yes, she was the doctor who patched up my bullet wound a few months ago," Obi-Wan says. "With the giant glasses that make her look a little fish-eyed."

"She was nice."

"She is," Obi-Wan agrees. "At any rate, that was our family for a while, and then Tahl died when I was fourteen. Bant wanted to go to a magnet school for medical studies, and Qui-Gon's grief was... not optimal for taking care of multiple teenagers, shall we say, so Bant moved in with her paternal uncle, Kit Fisto, and Kit's son Nahdar. He's a marine biologist, incredibly friendly, and has no idea of any of the rest of my side of the family's questionable activities. If you ever meet him, you will pretend that we are a legal firm with a team of security consultants."

Cody raises a brow. Obi-Wan despairs. "Best you could do?"

"We're not that likely to run into him." Obi-Wan draws out a new line. "So, Qui-Gon deals poorly with grief. This is also around the time that Xanatos came around to ruin our lives a little. He was a very rich and unpleasant man, but he's dead as of four hours ago, so you don't have to worry about him. Or his son."

"His son?"

"Anakin handled that," Obi-Wan says. "Thoroughly. Granta Omega is no longer an issue. He's not dead, but... well. Anakin has his ways. Er--I should probably mention Feemor; he was my father's assistant at the university for a long time. Anakin and I still call him our uncle."

"Also a person to avoid mentioning criminal activity to?" Cody prompts.

"Well... no, but only because I don't think he'd care. The man is, forgive me, more of a 'walking sweatervest' than I am. He's a very bland and unassuming man. He once described himself as the background character of the soap opera that is my family's existence."

"Sounds like a charmer."

"Oh, he's very kind and clever, and witty as well. I adore him, and he really is family. He's just also very, very normal. Not boring, but..." Obi-Wan trails off and shrugs helplessly. "He's an editor for an agricultural research journal. Also not someone I anticipate us running into."

"Noted."

"Right, so, Qui-Gon dealing poorly with his grief didn't involve much drinking, but there were a few months of him trying to... lose himself in the pleasures of the flesh?" Obi-Wan tries, and then deflates at the look on Cody's face. "He was slagging around. Shmi got pregnant with Anakin, who was born when I was sixteen. Shared custody at first, Qui-Gon got him weekends and every other holiday, that sort of thing, and then they got married because they actually did like each other well enough, and it was easier on the taxes."

"So Shmi is stepmother number two."

"Shmi is stepmother number two, yes." Obi-Wan sketches in Anakin and Shmi. "About nine and a half years after Anakin was born, Shmi and Qui-Gon were in a car accident with... well, it later turned out it wasn't an accident, there was a hitman called Maul involved, he's actually Ventress's second cousin or something, I don't know. Grandfather handled most of that problem. Qui-Gon died, Shmi was in intensive care, and I got custody of Anakin as his nearest adult relative. We weren't very close before that, because I was off at university by the time he was old enough to form memories, but that changed once he started living with me. I more or less raised him as a single parent from that point."

"This is why he jokes that you're like a father to him."

"Precisely," Obi-Wan says. "Shmi took about a year to recover enough to move again, and grandfather covered the costs. She still had to live with a dedicated carer and attend daily physical therapy. At that physical therapy, she met Cliegg Lars, whose son Owen was also a patient there. They hit it off, and three years later, they married. When Anakin refers to his stepfamily he's talking about the Lars out in Nevada."

"Nevada?"

"They have a farm. A very, very normal one. We don't drag them into our activities, unless we have an at-risk person who needs a safe house." Obi-Wan pauses, and then decides this really needs to be stressed. "This is important to me and Anakin, that we don't get them involved unless there's absolutely no other choice. Shmi's been through a lot, and the Lars are busy enough running the farm."

"Works for me," Cody says. "We've got enough safe houses that it shouldn't be an issue. I'm guessing this story doesn't end there, though."

Obi-Wan grimaces. "My own love life has been... a bit of a mess."

"I already know about Kryze, at least."

There's that. "I was temporarily engaged to a friend, Siri Tachi, shortly after high school. We were in a relationship, but this was mostly something done to appease a relative of hers that was getting overbearing to the point of absurdity, and she couldn't just cut them off. We broke off the engagement after the relative passed, and we're still friends."

He notes that down, then adds the other embarrassment of his early years. "First marriage was actually a drunken joke between myself and my best friend when we were in college. We got it annulled a few months later because we just didn't have time to drop by the courthouse before then, and he's actually engaged to Asajj now."

"Asajj?" Cody asks, watching in fascination as Obi-Wan tries to mark in both his own short marriage and the newer, long-term engagement without crossing any lines. He settles for just writing the name twice and including an asterisk with 'this is the same person.'

"Ventress," Obi-Wan clarifies. "Yeah, Quinlan's a fun guy. His little sister, Aayla, treats Anakin like a beloved younger cousin."

"Are they also off-limits for criminal activity?"

"No, Aayla's the one that taught Ahsoka how to vent-crawl," Obi-Wan says. "And I'm pretty sure Quinlan has contacts in every major government branch, criminal organization, and Fortune 500 company on the planet. I reach out to them regularly."

"Resources, then."

Obi-Wan nods. "Some time later, I married Satine. We had a son; you've met Korkie. We split due to incompatibility a year and change before Qui-Gon's death. Satine doesn't engage in criminal activity, but Bo-Katan is..."

"I've met Bo-Katan. I know what she's like, Obi. You don't have to explain."

"She works with Maul sometimes."

"...the man who killed your father?"

"Yes. It's all very stupid and convoluted." Obi-Wan still writes her in. "So, that's them. Korkie goes to boarding school, and I try not to involve him in anything. Anakin and Ahsoka like to teach him self-defense and the like, but Satine is adamant that he stay unaware of my less legal dealings until he's an adult."

Cody shrugs. "Makes sense. Is that every--wait, no, Skywalker's married."

Obi-Wan grins. "Yes, and Padme's got twins on the way."

"I was there when he told us," Cody says drily. "He was very loud about it. Okay, how does Ahsoka fit in?"

"Hold on, I forgot Beru," Obi-Wan mutters. "Owen's fiancee. Same rules as the Lars. Okay, you asked about Ahsoka. Right. So. Um."

He dithers. Cody waits for him, and then Obi-Wan just gives up. "Ahsoka, dear, would you like to explain how you joined the family, so to speak?"

Ahsoka looks up from whatever she and the boys are doing--there are multiple beer glasses and straws and duct tape involved, and Obi-Wan doesn't really want to know--and then flips off the table and over to Obi-Wan and Cody. She looks over the family tree chart, and then says, "Oooh, did you tell him about the cult?"

"You were in a cult?" Cody demands.

"No, Komari was. She was head priestess or something. I dunno, it's why she's in prison and stuff."

"I did not tell him about the cult," Obi-Wan mutters, already regretting this. "The Bando Gora aren't a problem anymore. I've already gotten to explaining how you and Anakin know each other."

Ahsoka rolls her eyes, steals his pen, and starts sketching in around Quinlan's name, over by Asajj since Obi-Wan's section is too crowded. "Okay, so, Quinlan's adopted. His dad is Tholme, and Tholme's dad is Plo Koon. Plo Koon is good friends with my Auntie, Shaak Ti, who raised me. They live next door to each other, out in the country, and I'd play in his yard a lot, because he had puppies, and he took me to visit his bees. Whenever Auntie needed a babysitter, she asked Quinlan or Aayla to do it since she knew and trusted them, and Aayla needed pocket money."

"This is so unnecessarily complicated," Cody mutters.

"It is!" Ahsoka chirps. Her grin is far too sharp. "So, this one time, Aayla was watching me when I was fourteen, and she was just helping me with my physics homework. BAM, the door slams open, and in stumbled Skyguy with his arm missing. I've never met him before, and my first introduction is him shortly after he's gotten an unplanned amputation."

Anakin, on the other side of the room, giggles. Obi-Wan just sighs. The Fett brothers appear to be in the land of 'horrified fascination.'

Ahsoka revels in it. "There's blood everywhere, I'm screaming, Aayla's panicking, Anakin's halfway to unconscious and insisting we can't call the hospital, and nobody can get Obi-Wan on the phone. Quinlan's in another country, and Auntie Shaak and Uncle Plo are at a movie, so they've both got their cellphones off. Tholme was faking his death at that point to get away from an incident with the Irish Mob, so we didn't even try him."

"What the actual fuck," Rex breathes.

Ahsoka continues with relish. "We get Bant to pick up, and she's there an hour later with Padme, because Padme knows how to drive the way Skyguy does, and the entire drive there is just Auntie Bant on speakerphone telling Aayla how to stop the bleeding and get him stabilized while Padme's screaming at traffic at the top of her lungs."

"I owe Aayla a fruit basket," Anakin muses aloud. "The anniversary of her saving my life is coming up, it's warranted."

"Five years, baby!" Ahsoka crows. She fist-pumps.

Obi-Wan just drops his head into his hands. "You're killing me, children."

Anakin shrugs, grinning. "You know, I think Fett Senior might have been involved in that fight."

"My shitty dad cut off your arm?" Rex demands.

"No, I think he was busy fighting the Interpol guy," Anakin says. "But he was definitely there. I think. Blood loss kinda got to me after a bit, but I'm pretty sure Jango Fett was there, and also Boba might've been hiding in the getaway car?"

"I need another glass," Cody mutters. He doesn't stand up, though.

"Wait," Rex says. "So who cut off your arm?"

Anakin shrugs with an unsure noise. "Someone tried to convince me it was Grandpa Yan, but he was in the middle of a court case in Italy for some kind of parole violation when it happened, so he had an alibi."

"...did he actually violate parole?" Cody asks, and Obi-Wan thinks he looks like he doesn't know if he actually wants an answer.

Ahsoka shrugs. So does Anakin. Obi-Wan carefully looks at a spot behind Cody, and doesn't explain anything about wine tastings used as covers for illicit arms deals.

"The arm?" Rex prompts, sounding a little desperate to get back to the question he likely thinks is the most important.

"I still say it was Skeevy Sheev," Ahsoka chimes in.

"It wasn't Palpatine," Anakin snaps.

"Your creepy older friend who took you to operas and gives you fancy gifts and knows way too much about swords who was conveniently there to talk to the police and cover for you so you didn't get arrested for getting in the middle of a gang war in the first place, yes," Ahsoka says, dropping into a chair and sighing dramatically. "The guy who definitely hasn't been trying to convince you for a year and change that your wife is cheating on you with your older brother."

"Ahsoka!"

"What? He is."

"Anakin," Rex says, "your life sounds like a trainwreck."

"I'm not going to assume a frail, elderly man cut my arm off!" Anakin protests. "Even if he wanted to, he doesn't exactly have the muscle for it!"

"Grandfather's older," Obi-Wan points out, even though he knows it won't help. "And he definitely still could."

"Ha!" Ahsoka shouts.

"He could have hired someone?" Cody suggests. "Doesn't need to do it himself, if he has enough money."

Obi-Wan has a sneaking suspicion that Cody is deliberately stirring the pot as revenge for Anakin sending him eighty-seven cat memes inside an hour during last night's dinner.

"You all suck," Anakin declares. "Also, what the hell do you mean 'knows way too much about swords,' Ahsoka? You know way too much about swords!"

"Yeah, but I'm like ninety-percent sure that his antiques are Prussian and mid-century German military officer dress uniform relics, and pairing that with the Nazi pistols he's got on display--"

"He's just a history buff! And his family's German, of course he prioritizes that region, it's not like he doesn't have Russian or French or English antiques in there too, it's all sides of the war and--"

"I'm just saying he's almost definitely sending me sketchy glances like he thinks I'm planning to steal the silver on the three occasions you've had me with you when you stop by, and I'm pretty sure it's got less to do with my criminal record and more to do with me being, you know, not white."

Anakin looks ready to blow, so Obi-Wan interrupts. "Ahsoka, you were explaining how Anakin passing out on Aayla and scaring us all half to death led to your friendship?"

Ahsoka blinks at him, and then sticks her tongue out at Anakin and turns back to the chart. "So basically, Skyguy had to recuperate in Uncle Plo's living room for a week or two, and I kept showing up to bother him because he was bored and nobody would give him a laptop for 'security reasons,' because he had to lay low and stuff. He made me help him sketch out designs for a prosthesis and do all the writing for the math he had to do for the 3D printer, and we got to chatting."

Ahsoka hops up and back onto a table, legs swinging below her. "I decided he was cool and started following him around while he was getting used to only having one hand, mostly because I was bored. He showed me how to hotwire a car, and explained the best places to put a bug if you were looking to make it sneaky, and he picked my pocket to show off so many times when he was walking around Uncle Plo's house that I made him teach me that, too. And, uh, then Aayla found out and they got into a shouting match about it and decided they both needed to teach me parkour so I could get out of any mess I got myself into, since I was obviously going to follow them into a life of crime."

"And you did," Anakin says, far too proudly. "You're the best thief in this half of the country."

"Only because Aayla moved out east."

Anakin rolls his eyes and pulls Ahsoka into his side, digging his knuckles into her skull. "Best thief! You are the best thief! Be proud of yourself!"

"Let go!"

"Never!"

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead. "Children, please."

"You're not my dad," Ahsoka growls out at him. "Skyguy, I'm going to bite you!"

"Good luck, the only arm you can access is the one that's going to break your teeth."

Ahsoka shrieks in outrage and stomps on Anakin's instep.

It's almost funny, for all that Obi-Wan's seen it play out a million times before, but the really interesting part is seeing Rex's look of fond dismay.

Obi-Wan thinks he might be adding a branch out to the Fetts soon. He's not actually sure if Rex is interested in Anakin or Ahsoka, and he's smack dab between them in age, so that's not a help either, but... well. The expression is familiar enough.

"Please tell me you don't match-make," Cody mutters to him.

"No, I plan to let the pieces fall where they will," Obi-Wan responds, just as low, and far more amused. "I'm simply trying to predict where those landings are to be."

Cody looks at him, and then back at the roughhousing trio, and sighs heavily. "You know, I really didn't think that you technically being minor royalty was going to be the least convoluted thing in your story, Obi-Wan."

He laughs, because it's true. "I'm first in line to inherit the title, since Rael denounced his claim. Nim isn't interested, and Qui-Gon's dead, so... I'm next."

Cody makes a face. "Delightful. I'm guessing that's not a connection we can safely make use of."

"No more than the Kryze or Naberries, I'm afraid." Obi-Wan claps him on the shoulder. "Chin up, I've plenty others in the metaphorical rolodex, all far less legitimate and far more amenable to work with our little outfit."

"Rolodex, really?" Cody snorts. "You're not that old."

Obi-Wan smiles winningly. "You don't know how old I am, Cody. All my IDs are fake."

"Anakin's twenty-four, and you're sixteen years older than him, going by the story you just told me," Cody points out. "I do know how to do basic math, Obi-Wan."

"I had to try," Obi-Wan admits. "I threw a lot of information at you all at once; I'd hoped you missed some of the ages in there."

"I have eight brothers," Cody scoffs. "And literally dozens of cousins, plus niblings, uncles, aunts, and so on. I have experience on this."

"If I asked you to list of the age of every single relative you have, you'd be able to do it?"

"Do you want me to draw a chart? I can draw a chart."

Obi-Wan can't help but laugh. "I'd be delighted, my dear."

Cody rolls his eyes, but Obi-Wan thinks--it's hard to tell in the dimmed lights of the closed bar--that there's a hint of a blush on the man's face. Obi-Wan lets himself slouch to the side, drops his head to rest on one fist, indolent debauchery in every line of his body. Cody does his best to ignore him, but Obi-Wan knows how to smile lazily and blink slowly and draw a man in.

(The whole 'indolent debauchery in every line of his body' phrasing is Anakin's, from back when he was a teenager trying to read highbrow literature to impress a cute girl... and to come up with new insults for his older brother.)

"So," Cody says, with a cough meant to somehow distract Obi-Wan from whatever's showing on the man's face. "Why, uh, why is your grandfather on terrorist watchlists?"

"Well, he didn't initially do anything," Obi-Wan says. "He was just a gay man who didn't hide it quite well enough, and had too much money and too white a face for someone to just call the cops on a faulty report. The Red Scare was technically over by that point, I think, but if a few people made suggestions that he was more loyal to the country that gave him a noble title than to the United States... he received a few warnings, of course, and it could have all blown over..."

"But?"

"But my grandfather is not a man to do things by halves, and instead decided that if the government was to list him as a threat, then he would oblige and make himself a threat," Obi-Wan finishes. "Living up to their labels, rolling with the assumptions, whatever you'd like to call it. It all irked him, and so he made some incredibly questionable decisions to make the government's lives harder. Some weren't bad, like donating to anti-war foundations that were protesting the Gulf War and the interventions in Yugoslavia, that sort of thing, and some were... nobody really looks well on gunrunning, you know."

"For fuck's sake..."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan chuckles. "Ironically, he has minimal opinion on the optimal form of economics, for all that virulent xenophobia and the remnants of anti-communism were involved in the whole mess. He just wanted to create problems for the people that were causing him problems."

Cody shakes his head. "I want to judge that, but you've met my father."

"Jango Fett is, indeed, also not a man to do things by halves," Obi-Wan agrees, attempting to nod gravely but breaking into a smile at the end. "That man is absurd."

"At least he's not dragging Boba into it anymore," Cody mutters. He drags over the fresh sheet of paper and pen that Obi-Wan offers him. "Okay, right, let's start with Jaster..."

[edgeofn1ght]

I'm rewatching Stardust, so naturally.... more half-assed ideas that will go absolutely nowhere, so Stardust obikin au?

Initially I couldn't decide on who's Tristan, but I think it should be Anakin. Because he would be so desperate to win Padmé's (Victoria's) love that he would promise her a star. (Built in jealousy-love triangle with Clovis as Humphrey for the win lol)

Which makes Obi-Wan Yvaine. Obvs. When Tristan meets Yvaine the first time, she's so wonderfully sarcastic and calls him a "magical flying moron"... tell me this isn't Obi-Wan.

It's very important that Anakin has his dorky AotC hair at the beginning, and it obviously becomes longer, just like Charlie Cox's hair 😄

Shmi is Una, of course, maybe Qui-Gon is the dad

Yoda is the old wall keeper

I feel like Ventress should be Lamia, the head witch after the Star because you know she's gotta be obsessed with Obi-Wan. And throw Maul in, too for good measure and maybe Savage since we need a 3rd witch 'sibling' Idk lol

And Palpacreep and Dooku and...? Could be all the brothers because the Sith are a bunch of backstabbers.

Holy shit Quinlan Vos as Captain Shakespeare??? Yes. And his ship is full of people like Kit Fisto, Cody, Rex, Aayla, Luminara, etc.

?????

Profit

So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Come onnnnnnn...

[willowcrowned]

Okay but has anyone considered Obi-wan/Cody/Satien (is that how its spelled?) Regardless, hes got two hands for his two mandalorians, the au where this happend is gotta be top notch ridiculous ye?

Okay thank you so much for giving me a reason to think about this, because this AU contains three things I adore: polyamory, ships where everyone is frighteningly competent, and Obi-Wan

In this AU, Ventress is somehow even less well-adjusted (bear with me). What this means is that, instead of taking a gap year and finding herself after her family is brutally murdered, she decides she needs to get revenge even more now. What does this mean? In the short term, she still becomes a bounty hunter, but in the long run? She’s looking for a Sith lord team up so she can punch Dooku (with a lit lighstaber) in his stupid, elitist, backstabbing face.

So when Maul invades Mandalore, what happens? Ventress comes right along, ready to give her ‘I know we hate each other, but consider teaming up to kill someone we both hate even MORE’ space TED talk. And though Maul may be terribly annoying, a closet theater kid, always in a tits out kind of mood, and denying his gay awakening, he’s not stupid. He knows Sidious is coming for him, sooner rather than later, and he knows he needs more people on his side than his (impressively beefy) brother. He and Savage agree to the team-up.

Cue Obi-Wan showing up, ready to save his sort-of girlfriend, and finding Pre Vizsla, who got REAL sus the second ANOTHER lunatic with a red lightsaber showed up, occupied by capturing Maul, Savage, and Ventress. 

Obi-Wan saves Satie, who convinces him to call Cody for a quick evac, and they’re running away, flirting, and arguing over shooting things (as usual), when they spot Ventress, Maul, and Savage, about to be executed.

Oh, they both think, hell no. And then, because they have a stupid moral code that makes them do stupid moral things, they go save them.

A little background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has been fighting in a war for over two years. He is exhausted, close to a breakdown, and seriously questioning his place as a General. Next to him at all times, supporting him, helping him, and saving him, is Cody, who is clever, kinder than he has any right to be, and is, of course, devastatingly handsome when he does his special, unique-to-Cody half-smirk.

Obi-Wan, to put it mildly, is totally gone on him. Obi-Wan also, to put it less mildly, is his commanding officer in an army that Cody can’t leave on pain of death. To do anything— make any advance beyond the flirting that he engages in with most people— would put Cody in a very uncomfortable position, whether or not he returns Obi-Wan’s feelings. So Obi-Wan watches him from afar, hoping against hope that his affections are returned, and that one day, after the end of the war, there will be a future for both of them.

A little more background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has always respected Satine. Their correspondence fell apart just a few months after the end of his mission with Qui-Gon, but he’s been keeping up with her professional accomplishments for years. Over time, the love he bore for her faded, leaving him with good memories and an enduring appreciation for her courage, her cleverness, and her ability to deliver devastating blows to someone’s confidence with a few well-placed words.

Until he sees her again. And yes, alright, he might be angry that she’s choosing to stay out of the war— he knows what good she could do— but he understands her fears, understands the very real possibility that if Mandalore gets embroiled in yet another war, they may never recover. The thing is... well, she’s still very beautiful, especially when he’s yelling at him, and as slowly as his feelings had faded then, they come back in a rush now.

He has very much fallen in love with Cody, and he is very much still in love with Satine.

Cut back to the present— Obi-Wan and Satine rescue the three most annoying Sith in the galaxy and get the heck out of dodge. Cody, because he’s Cody, comes swooping in with a last-minute rescue.

At this point, two things are occurring.

The first: Obi-Wan is stuck in a room with four people he’s periodically flirted with over the past few years, two of whom he’s desperately in love with, one of whom he had a weird encounter with that he can never tell Anakin about when she and him got trapped in a middle school auditorium, and one of whom is definitely wearing no shirt and all that jewelry for a reason. It is Supremely awkward for him.

The second: Every single person in that room, each of which is (barring Savage) deeply attracted to Obi-Wan, is realizing that Obi-Wan is dressed in Mandalorian armor, and while Obi-Wan in three layers of tunics and a cloak is an absolute knockout, Obi-Wan in Mandalorian armor may very well kill them (and he won’t even have to touch his lightsaber to do it).

For one single moment, everything is absolutely still as they all stare at each other.

...And then Maul starts on the ‘I will rend your flesh from your bones, feel my wrath, Kenobarrgh’ spiel, and Satine stuns him. Oh, and Savage. Ventress agrees to watch the two of them if they don’t stun her, and Obi-Wan agrees.

Which then leaves him, Cody, and Satine in a room alone.

A word on Cody at this point: He has been bred from birth to be the perfect soldier— loyal, clever (but not too clever), and rigourously adherent to protocol. Yet, within three months of knowing Obi-Wan, he’s, well, calling him Obi-Wan in his head. Even just that is a gross breach of protocol, but he’s compromised in more ways than one. He talks to Obi-Wan, now, not just as a subordinate, or secondary advisor, but as a friend, as a councilor. Every time Obi-Wan touches him— never for longer than a brief second— his skin lights up under his armor. One time, Obi-Wan fell asleep on him for half an hour, and Cody’s was sure everyone would hear his heartbeat. 

What he’s doing— how he feels— he knows it’s putting Obi-Wan in danger, knows that if the Kaminoans had wanted to the clones to be equals to the Jedi, they would have told them so. And look, he knows what the natborns would call the way he’s feeling, but he can’t feel that way. He’s a clone— he’s expendable by definition. Even if, on some off-chance, he makes it out of this war alive, there’s nothing for him. Obi-Wan couldn’t care for him like that, couldn’t care for a man with the same face as millions of others, born and bred only for war. So it doesn’t matter how he feels.

A word on Satine at this point: Obi-Wan, when he left, was a gawkish, bumbling thing of red hair and freckles and the sweetest smile. Obi-Wan, when he came back, was graceful, eloquent, and very, very handsome. He is also infuriating. (This does not change how attracted she is to him in the least.)

She’s not a romantic, really, but she is a realist, and she knows she’s loved him in some form or another for over twenty years. She knows she can’t ask him to return it— knows that asking him to leave the order for her wouldn’t just be for her, it would be for Mandalore, and while the politician in her cries for her to claim him, the person in her who loves Obi-Wan could not abide tearing him away from his culture for her own purposes. She still loves him, deeply and irrevocably, and she knows he still loves her. (Maybe, she thinks, after the war... But she can’t afford to be sentimental).

What do Cody and Satine have in common? They’re both extremely competent, both instinctively ruthless, and they both love Obi-Wan. Oh, and they’re also both immediately jealous of their counterpart.

They know they shouldn’t be. They know it’s not fair, not when Obi-Wan isn’t theirs anyways, but it doesn’t change the surge of envy and dislike that happens when they see Obi-Wan use the soft voice he only uses for the people he likes best on the person across from them.

Cody knows he can never compare to the Duchess, who is beautiful and well-spoken and has held Obi-Wan’s heart since they were fifteen. Satine knows she can never compare to Cody, who has been at Obi-Wan’s side every second since the war’s beginning, who is so much closer in ideals to Obi-Wan than she is, however it might appear on the surface.

Fortunately, they don’t have to deal with it for long, because Ventress comes in with Maul and Savage and proposes a team up, at which point Maul reveals the identity of the Sith Master.

Obi-Wan swears a string of words that Cody and Satine are both very impressed by, and agrees to the team up. Cody and Satine, who are both going to Coruscant anyways, agree to it too.

What ensues is a good deal of scheming, during which Cody and Satine avoid each other like the plague, Obi-Wan is repeatedly told to get some sleep, and Ventress cuffs Maul to a door on multiple nonconsecutive occasions. When they get to Coruscant, Satine has already told Padmé, who has in turn told her group of anti-war (and anti-Palpatine) senators, Cody has given Rex a heads up, and Ventress, Maul, and Savage have been metaphorically sharpening their lightsabers for ages.

(It occurs to Obi-Wan, at one point, after he’s woken up from his enforced 25-hour nap, that Palpatine must have created the clone army for a reason— must have a failsafe in place— and he asks Ahsoka to pull all the data the Kaminoans have on the clones. They find out about the chips, and Ahsoka immediately immediately holds the Kaminoans at laser sword point until they reprogram every order into a command that dissolves the chip.)

The thing about organizing a coup together is that it makes it very hard to avoid each other. Cody and Satine are forced to work together, and, what do you know, it turns out that even with seething jealousy at work, they end up respecting each other. (Note: Obi-Wan comes into a room at one point to see them both bent over a commlink, heads together and hands nearly touching. He short circuits.)

In any case, coup, Palps dies, Republic fixed, whatever.

What’s important is that Obi-Wan gets really, really injured— so much so that he might die. Cody and Satine have dealt with him being dead before (Deception arc anyone?), but this? Watching him slowly fade, knowing there’s nothing they can do about it? That’s worse.

One night, when Anakin has fallen asleep, they have a long conversation in low voices about Obi-Wan, darting from fond to furious to devastated over and over again. If he wakes up— if, not when— they agree to say something to Obi-Wan, to let him know that they love him. It’s a meager consolation after all they’ve been through, but this is the end, in one way or another, and they deserve to be honest with him.

(Cody thinks, privately, that he will be— well, not tossed aside, because Obi-Wan isn’t the sort of person who does that, but there won’t be a place for him by Obi-Wan’s side anymore. Obi-Wan is a Jedi, a negotiator, a peacekeeper, and Cody is a soldier for a now-ended war. He is already steeling himself to accept Obi-Wan’s polite rejection with equanimity, to not cause more pain to the man. (It will be easy, he knows, to wish him every peace, every happiness. Cody has only ever wanted to see Obi-Wan happy. This does not mean it will not be painful.) Obi-Wan said once that he would have left the Order for Satine if she’d asked— she will ask, now, and Cody knows Obi-Wan will leave, can see the love written in his face, in his spine, in his hands, whenever he is around her. Satine will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Cody will be left to look for a place in this new galaxy.)

(Satine thinks, privately, that Obi-Wan’s feelings for her must be long faded, replaced by his obvious ones for Cody. Obi-Wan is a warrior, a Knight, and Satine is a diplomat who foreswore violence long ago. She is already steeling herself to accept his rejection with grace. (It will be easy, she knows, to wish him well. She has only ever wanted good things for him. This does not mean it will not be painful.) He said once that he would have left the Order for her if she’d asked, and whatever he’d felt then for her pales to what he feels now for Cody. Cody will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Satine will rule as she always has.)

And then Obi-Wan wakes up.

Cody and Satine let him have his long talk with Anakin first, partially because they know how important it is to him, partially because Anakin wouldn’t let them if they wanted to, and partially because they are dreading their own coming conversation. When Anakin has finished, and Obi-Wan is asleep again, they go in, hand-in-hand, and wait for him to wake up.

When he does wake up, he sees them holding hands and immediately comes to several wrong conclusions. Wrong Conclusion A: Cody and Satine are in love. Wrong Conclusion B: Cody and Satine are going to try to break the news that they’re in love to him gently. Wrong Conclusion C: This conversation is about to break his heart.

Then they speak.

At the end of it, Obi-Wan has some Thoughts. Thought One: alkdfjhskhsgjljlbhkgkjbjvnab,gkjvn;qlerghjsv?????!!!!fwbfwlkrehwogwhuwrijvhfdbhkf!!!! Thought Two: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Thought Three: Oh, we’re all idiots. Fantastic. 

He then passes out, because being on the edge of death for days and then having a shock to your system this big tends to do that to you.

When he wakes up, he is mildly more coherent. Then he sees that Satine and Cody are asleep on each other, and the coherence is lost, but he does manage to wake them up and get across three things:

Thing One: He is desperately in love with them both.

Thing Two: He’s leaving the Order for a multitude of reasons, but they are a Significant Bonus.

Thing Three: He would very much like if they both held his hand while he falls back asleep.

Cody takes Obi-Wan’s right hand, Satine takes Obi-Wan’s left hand, and the three of them stay like that, fingers intertwined, for a long, long, while.

[amour393]

Star Wars! Au thoughts

Because star wars day and I've had this in my drafts for ages

Takes place during the prequels

Kind of

WE OPEN

With jedi knights: Kai and Nya

*cough* Kai is basically Anakin *cough*

WHOA IS THAT THE CHOSEN ONE

Surprise surprise Lloyd is the chosen one

Kai trains him

Not to be confused with Kai's (and Nya's) master, Wu

*cough* yoda *cough*

Pixal is a Mandolorian and she's the coolest

So is Zane they fight together it's great

Jay and Cole are senators

Whoa what's that a secret relationship between Senator Walker and Jedi Nya nooooo that's craaaaaaazy

Jay is akin to Padme in that they are ~flawless~ and have the same debate style

Well in this they do don't ask questions

Cole is the most non smooth senator ever

He breaks things

A lot

*throws chair* "SAY IT AGAIN"

But he keeps getting reelected so I guess it works

But Kai and Nya come to them whenever they have a political problem bc with their different styles they usually solve the problem twice as fast

That or they complicate the situation even more but that's not the point

BUM BUM BUM BUM BA DUM BUM BA DUM whoa Supreme Chancellor Garmadon is that you I hear your theme music

YEP THAT CAUSES A BUNCH OF PROBLEMS

does he know Lloyd is his son? Absolutely.

Does Lloyd know? Of course not

Is Garmadon waiting for Kai to train Lloyd so he can turn both of them to the dark side whoa yep

NYOOM WHAT'S THAT NIGHTMARES ABOUT YOUR PARENTS

rip Ray and Maya

WHOA WHATS THAT A DREAM THAT YOUR SISTER IS GONNA DIE

"Hehehehe learn the ways of the dark side mwahahaha"

"Only then can you save your sister"

Y'know if he like told Nya he thought she was gonna die a lot of problems would have been solved but WHATEVER

Kai is like "why do I keep having a dream Nya is gonna die in childbirth that makes no sense"

Jay and Nya Walker Smith are sweating nervously in the corner shhhhhhh

So duh duh duh Kai and Nya go around beating up Sith lords like Count Chen and Darth Acronix etc etc

Dooku=Chen

Yeet enter episode III and rip Chen

Acronix is dead too by III but that's not important

Cling clang what's that a giant fight between Kai and Nya on Mustafar

"You're my brother Kai! I love you!"

"Kai the sith are evil!"

"weLL fRoM mY pOiNt oF ViEw tHe jEdi aRe eViL"

She beats him in a fight 9 months pregnant u suck Kai

Kai almost kills Jay and Cole because of course they followed Nya to Mustafar

And then they tried to attack Kai

That didn't end well

He force choked both of them and Nya thought they were dead = cue Nya getting ticked off and attacking Kai

If Jay were awake he woulda been freaking out bc his 9 months pregnant wife was fighting one of the best jedi in the order, but that's not the point

Kai wasn't particularly trying to kill Nya, so he was kinda going easy on her hence how Nya won

Wow look Kai is on fire

Irony at its finest amirite

I FORGOT ABOUT BOUNTY HUNTERS

Skylor is basically Ventress. She started as a sith (duh bc Chen is one) but then another Sith tried to kill her so she ditched them and became a bounty hunter

Ronin is obviously one

Morro used to be part of the jedi order but Wu led him to believe he was the chosen one, blah blah blah, so he left as a youngling and became a bounty hunter that perpetually hunts Lloyd

He has a bit of force (and a green lightsaber) but whenever he tries to attack Lloyd, Kai and Nya kick his butt so

ANYHOO

Yeah Kai turns to the dark side :(

Lloyd becomes a wee bit angsty for a bit because Kai pretty much raised him and he thinks Kai is dead

Nya tells him he was killed by Darth Omega, Garmadon's new apprentice

"But how did you escape then"

"I got mad skills"

That's a direct quote ladies and gents

SO Emperor Garmadon and Darth Kai are vibing and taking over the galaxy tryna find the chosen one

But Nya, Jay, Cole, and Lloyd form the rebellion

You may be thinking "but what about Nya's kids! She was pregnant when she fought Kai! Did she give birth!"

Yes she did but well um remember Kai's vision about his sister dying in childbirth

Well

Let's just say rip Jaya's would be daughter

And OH BOY that makes Jay and Nya super ready to destroy the Empire

Jay is ready to kill Kai tbh

Lloyd is chilling with his training from Nya on Tatooine (cuz Kai hates sand)

Garmadon is like "dude. They're on tatooine. We all know they're on tatooine."

And Kai is like furiously searching every where else like "NO THEY CANT BE THERE MAYBE THEYRE hmm ON NABOO NABOO IS VERY NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR"

Garmadon, internally, 97% of the time he has to deal with Darth Kai: I should've turned his sister

Yadda yadda yadda, Lloyd is fighting Darth Kai after getting his hand chopped off and is like "I'll never join you!! You killed my brother!!"

"Dude, I am your brother."

"Nooooooooooooooooo"

Woohoo he blows up the death star and everything's gravy

Dun dun duuuuuun theres another death star

They blew that one up too

After the epic fights

Lloyd vs Garmadon and Kai vs Nya

Well here's the deal

Garmadon told Kai that Nya was dead

Nya knew Kai is Darth Kai but like avoided him for awhile cuz she had the train Lloyd

So Lloyd and Nya show up to duel to the death and then Kai is like

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD"

"I ALMOST WAS THANKS TO YOU"

"BUT I HAD A VISION YOU WOULD DIE???? ALSO WHEN DID YOU AND JAY BECOME A THING AND WHY WAS I NOT INVITED TO THE WEDDING????"

"WELL YEAH BUT THANKS TO YOU OUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD SO NYOOM also like late September that one year and we didn't invite you because it was illegal!! No one knew except us and cole!!"

"WELL I- wait, COLE? YOU TOLD SOME STUPID SENATOR OVER YOUR OWN BROTHER?!"

"AT LEAST COLE DIDN'T TRY TO KILL ME MY HUSBAND AND MY FRIENDS ALONG WITH THE ENTIRE JEDI ORDER"

Then Kai is like "shoot you're right" and joins the light side before Nya kills him

Meanwhile Lloyd is trying to best up Garmadon and it's not going well

It takes Kai, Nya, and Lloyd to beat him before Garm is all "my son I'm so proud"

And everyone is very confused bc he isn't talking about Nya, why would he be proud of Kai, shoot does that mean Lloyd is his son???

Le gasp

Lloyd is shooketh cuz he never knew his parents

"I don't believe you!"

"You don't have to, you sense it. We both know it's true."

Then Kai is like "then what the heck did you want me for"

"Well I was hoping that if I turned you Lloyd would follow so"

"You turned me because you lied to me and manipulated me for years and years and years"

Then Jay and Cole blow up the death star the end

OR

Kai, Cole, Jay, and Zane are four jedi charged with protecting the chosen one, Lloyd

Their lightsaber are blue, orange, blue, and white

Nya is also there she's chilling in the jedi order

Yes Jaya is still a thing in this au because it's my favorite and I will die with this ship

No one knows about them tho so shhh

Like actually no one knows because they're actually smart about not being completely in love in front of everyone unlike Anidala

Cole probably knows

The four were each students of Wu, but Nya was a padawan of Master Garmadon

"You must not form attachments, Kai." -Wu, every day ever

Kai, gesturing to his sister, his three besties, his honorary little brother, his master, and that one cute bounty hunter that tried to kill him that one time: "behold, my attachments"

Yeah Skylor is still a bounty hunter fight me (she has an orange lightsaber bc she's cool enough to have a lightsaber)

Same with Ronin and Morro

Bum bum bum Lloyd is Garmadon's son obviously but officially they're not related

"Oh nonono, he's like a son to me, he's not my actual son, haha."

"Dad, look at this drawing I made!!"

"That's great, Lloyd, we'll put it on the fridge at home."

"Garmadon sir it certainly looks like he's your actual son I mean he looks just like you."

"Nonsense. He has blond hair. I have brown hair. Your claim is ridiculous."

"But-"

"R I D I C U L O U S"

"...okay sir."

The four have their own problems, of course

Like that Sith lord Nadakhan Jay killed via cutting his legs off whoops he's not actually dead you better go kill him again haha

Oh and Kai and Nya y'all should probably do something about that one other sith lord Chen who keeps saying your parents were evil

Yo Cole the Duke of Mandolore is being corrupt again and his daughter is ringing for your help, did you have plans this afternoon, or...?

Speaking of Mandolore Zane do you wanna go handle Death Watch I mean their leader Pixal seems to like you so idk

Hello Chancellor Overlord that name isn't sus at all

DUN DUN DUN PLOT TWIST MASTER GARMADON HAS BEEN TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE :O 

RIP the jedi order well time for the six to go into hiding

On the bright side Jay and Nya can now reveal their relationship since they have nothing to be kicked out of

so obviously the four, nya, and pixal found the rebellion

"Lloyd, I am your father."

"Nooooooooooo"

Poor lloyd lost his hand

You know this plays out pretty much how it does in the movies

Each ninja jedi teaches Lloyd a different form of lightsaber combat since they each use a different one

Scott is basically Han Solo dont @ me

S t a r W a r s A U

[crispyjenkins]

Thot obiwan... just him being a thot and happy (it’s what he deserves) pls no obitine lol

(went a poly route with this cause i wasn't sure how to write thot!obi without making myself uncomfortable, so instead have poly obi and his seven partners! it’s like scott pilgrim except obi’s still dating them all. a mix of triads and Vs here! because i’m soft for big polycules

couldn’t get to more detail in such a short fill, but all ships are tagged if there’s any confusion! (ノ*´◡`) i will absolutely be returning to poly!Obi in the future.)  

Rex promptly, and calmly, chokes on his first sip of tea.

  Cody sighs, because he isn't exactly clear on the details either. "Yes, all of them. "

  "Is that... Is that... allowed?"

  "High General Ti is also on the council, it must be." The last twenty five hours since rescuing his general and the rest of Ghost Company from Ventress’ latest plot have been rather confusing for Cody, from Obi-Wan’s debrief to the holocall with the council, to Obi-Wan’s four other holocalls that Cody isn't entirely sure he was meant to see. He supposes he should feel grateful that Senator Organa had recently returned to Alderaan, or it could have been more. 

  Rex's eyes go distant as he does the math, a couple of brothers ducking around them where they've stopped in the middle of the hall. "That's... five people, Cody."

  "Yes, Rex, I can count." He grabs Rex's elbow to start steering him towards the hangar again, where they’re supposed to be greeting some new Shinies in less than five minutes. 

  "But what about Ventress? And isn't General Fisto—"

  "With Bly and General Secura? Yes. As for Ventress, as far as I can tell, the General... is simply like that with everyone he fights." It certainly calls into question quite a few "interactions" Cody has witnessed in his two years at Obi-Wan’s side, anyways. Fett's left sheb, does he have to worry about Ohnaka?

  For all that Rex had been CC track just by being smart, he doesn't seem any more sure of the situation than Cody is. "Fett's left sheb," he agrees, bewilderedly tossing his flimsi cup of tea into a waste receptacle without actually having drunk any. "Bly never said anything."

  Cody grunts and thumbs the edge of the helmet in his hands. "He isn't involved with General Kenobi."

  "Cody, brother, that doesn't make sense." He punctuates the notion with a wild swing of his hand, narrowly missing a tech clone, who takes one look at the two of them and decides he isn't going to try and go toe-to-toe with two war heroes. "Where did you hear this? If it was Fives, you should know by now–”

  “The General told me himself.” Sort of, anyways — Obi-Wan is rarely blind to his surroundings, and he had not dismissed Cody after the debrief with the council, so he must have meant for him to see. Why he had been meant to see is still up for debate, especially when Cody had waited all of four hours before telling Rex; no secrets among brothers, or what have you.

  “I suppose what the generals do in their spare time is their business,” Rex mutters. “And it’s not as if the Jedi are anything the longnecks said they were, anyways. But Kote...”

  He could do without the pitying look Rex gives him. “As you said: it’s their business. It wasn’t, and isn’t, any of mine what the General does off the field.”

  “If you say so, brother.” He pats Cody’s shoulder, far gentler than the situation perhaps warrants. “What a way to find out, though; I don’t know what I’d do if I knew Skywalker was romancing around with half the council.”

  Cody sort of wishes Waxer hadn’t tossed out the rotgut Wooley’s had cooked up the last time they were planetside. “I won’t tell you about Senator Amidala and Senator Mothma, then,” he sighs, just to see Rex turn as white as Shiny armour.

-

  Senator Organa breaks away from the little party that had greeted The Negotiator in the Temple hangar and approaches Cody with a smile perhaps even kinder than his general’s. 

  “Welcome back to Coruscant, Commander,” he says pleasantly, folding his arms behind his back and settling next to Cody to observe General Ti fuss over Obi-Wan’s injuries.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “I think I can speak for everyone,” Organa nods to Obi-Wan’s entourage, “when I say we are indebted to you yet again.”

  Cody blinks at him, thankful he can hide his incredulity inside his bucket. “Sir?”

  Turning his smile back to Cody, Organa puts a hand on his shoulder not unlike a brother would. “None of our positions allow us to watch his back, and certainly not as well as you do. I’m sure you can understand our worry.”

  “I suppose so, sir,” Cody says carefully, not convinced that Organa isn’t trying to catch him up in a lie. “If I may, sir,” Organa waves for him to continue, “I’m not entirely sure I know what we’re talking about.”

  “Hm, perhaps that’s fair,” Organa chuckles. “I apologise for having to speak so mysteriously, but one can never be too careful. I merely meant to thank you, and to encourage you to talk to him; for all that the Jedi are not hierarchical, he worries about his position above you. And Obi-Wan is no blushing Alqull, but he would not impose himself on you.”

  “... Sir.”

  “Yes, yes, more mystery. Just talk to him.” Organa leaves him with one last smile and a pat on the shoulder, and Cody wonders if Waxer had spiked his caf that morning. 

-

  The 212th had lost enough brothers in their last entanglement with Ventress that they return to Kamino immediately after Coruscant, General Ti all too happy to join them aboard The Negotiator; the brothers are delighted to learn she prefers to stand against their general’s back, lekku and arms absolutely dwarfing him, and Obi-Wan lets her. 

  They keep separate quarters, though Cody isn’t sure how much of it is for keeping up appearances. 

  As high strung as he is after his conversation with Senator Organa, Cody is relieved when they finally dock in Tipoca City and he can hand babysitting the 212th over to Waxer. He loves his men, truly, but being cooped up with them for a tenday in hyperspace is far from his favourite pastime.

  When Cody joins Obi-Wan for their trek to the training levels, Obi-Wan takes one look at his harried expression and laughs — Cody would like to believe it’s because he knows what Cody’s thinking, rather than any sort of Jedi-mind-reading-nonsense.

  Taun We meets them on the way, prattling about the “improvements” they’ve made since the last batch, and Cody pays attention because he has to, but the general’s little smile aimed in Cody’s direction does nothing to help him concentrate.

  Alpha-17 greets them as soon as Taun We opens the door to one of the training rooms, and Cody finds he’d actually missed the old hardass; it isn’t every brother that can call High General Yoda a toad to his face and get away with it, just by virtue of being Alpha-17.

  And then Alpha sees Obi-Wan and actually smiles, and Cody updates his mental counter to six. He had forgotten how much time Alpha had spent with the 212th before Cody was assigned, forgotten that it was Alpha with Obi-Wan when Ventress first kidnapped him; perhaps the holodramas are right, that shared trauma is a simple step away from romance.

  Kriff, he could have gone his whole life not picturing Alpha trying to romance absolutely anyone.

-

  “You haven’t asked,” Obi-Wan observes, hands folded under his chin across the desk from Cody. The teapot between them steams gently, filling Obi-Wan’s quarters with a haze of shiso and ginger that settles Cody’s nerves rather than stokes them.

  “Sir?”

  “Come now, Cody: we’ve worked together far too long for that.”

  And Cody snorts a laugh, even as he turns back to the datapad in his hands. “I did not think it my business, sir.”

  “Hm, and your conversation with Bail?”

  Cody glances up. “Are you laughing at me, sir?”

  The soft smile from Kamino is back on his general’s lips, making Cody all too aware of his helmet on the other side of the room. “Perhaps a little, Commander – your play for stoicism is as amusing as always.

  “I don’t know what you refer to, General, I did not lie: I have not asked because it is not my business, and if there was more to discuss, I knew you would bring it up again.” With an inhaled sigh, Cody sets his datapad back on the desk and faces Obi-Wan properly, because he isn’t a cadet, and he isn’t what-are-emotions-what-is-responsibility Skywalker. “Clearly you have more to discuss.”

  “Bah, you make it sound like a chore, Kote.”

  He raises a brow. “When I was assigned to the 212th, General Vos warned me of your politician-speak, sir. Any conversation with you is a chore.”

  Obi-Wan startles out a laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners as if just to remind him that there are lines on his face from more than just war. “Captain Rex tells me you get that snark from Alpha, but I must say I think it is a family trait.” Smiling behind his fingers, Obi-Wan tilts his head as if Cody were an especially endearing puzzle. “I’m afraid I don’t quite know how to navigate this conversation, my friend: I don’t believe I was the instigator of any in the past.”

  “More politician-speak,” Cody chides without heat, but knows what he means anyways. “And you thought I would instigate, if you left it long enough?”

  “Well, I hope I’ve created an environment where you and your brothers may speak your minds–”

  “General,” Cody interrupts boldly, and Obi-Wan just keeps smiling at him, “I have it on good authority that none of my brothers have been the one to broach this subject first.”

  “Mhm,” he chuckles, “Yes, I did hear about Commander Bly and Kit, and about Commander Choke with the 202nd.” Poor Shiny, Cody thinks, fresh out of ARC training when she met her general for the first time; the other battalions hadn’t stopped laughing about it for months.

  “Sir, the freedom the Jedi have given us undermined nearly everything the longnecks brought us up to believe; if you are unsure of what to say, I’m hardly going to be more prepared.”

  “Hm, perhaps we ought to be blunt with each other, then? Avoid the politician-speak entirely?”

  “Yes, perhaps that would be better, sir.”

  “Then, Kote, I would very much like to kiss you.”

  “Only if you’ve brushed your teeth since you kissed Alpha.”

  Obi-Wan throws his head back and laughs.

[loriane-elmuerto]

5, 10, 15, 30, 25, 30 + aminata and obi wan 🤍

otp asks

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

They like to spend time in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Obi-Wan brings a cup of tea, Mina brings her cup of caf. They hide away in a small corner and just... Talk. The sounds of the fountains running and nature itself helps conceal the sound of Mina’s laughter.

Other than that, they secretly love to spend time in Coruscant’s deepest, shadiest bars. Just... Get this image of both of them dressed in leather, drinking the shittiest alcohol and singing along to the latest galactic hits.

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

“What the blazes were you actually thinking, Aminata? Confronting Maul alone? I understand Anakin running off like that, but you?” Obi-Wan wasted no time getting straight to the point.

The Jedi in question, Aminata Clarmonte, broke away from her meditation and turned around to face him, not bothering to stand up.

“You’re the one to talk! Weren’t you the one who took Seline and went to Raydonia alone? Against Mace’s wishes?” She leaned back, her right arm reaching behind her for support, while the left one clutched the stab wound, left by the former Sith lord.

Obi-Wan did not fail to notice that.

“I fought him and bested him, Mina. I know how he fights and how to defeat him—”

“Sure you do. Only I remember talking to Mace and him mentioning that your body is literally blue from all the bruises and that if it hadn’t been for Ventress, I would be standing in front of a corpse. Again.”

Obi-Wan clearly remembers the Festival of Light incident, and the absolute hell Aminata and Anakin raised about it. He had to choose his words carefully here, or else the hard work he put in to re-establish his relationship with Aminata will go to waste.

He pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself down.

“I was perfectly aware it was a trap and that he wanted me there. I failed to account for his brother being in the picture as well. You should have taken captain Zuru and the rest of the Shield squad.”

Aminata gritted her teeth, trying to maintain her patience, and to redirect the pain of her injuries somewhere else.

“It wasn’t Maul who lured me in. It was Seline, my best friend, remember? The Jedi Master that I’m sure the Council did not give up on so quickly? Maul jumped me once I landed on that ship.”

“Even more so! What if Zuru and the men hadn’t found you when they did? Mina, you were sitting in a pool of your own blood! I thought you were… Dead.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke at the last word, and so did Aminata’s heart.

She wanted to throw in one last remark, but he knelt down in front of her, pressing his hand against hers which was holding the stab wound.

“Please don’t do this ever again, Aminata. After everything I have lost in my life, I... Cannot bear to lose you.”

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Obi-Wan is not a fan of how Aminata usually talks to politicians (yes she’s still bitter that the Senate called her a Separatist spy). For example: Satine. Though the woman did make some... Unecessary remarks about Arreyel and Aminata’s lineage and role as a Jedi, Mina herself did not bother to hide the venom in her eyes and voice as she called out Satine’s pacifist policies on Mandalore. He worries that her mouth will one day land her into trouble he will not be able to save her from.

Mina dislikes how much he overworks himself during the war, often disregarding his own health. She has bribed the 212th’s clone medics to tell her whenever Kenobes is pulling that shit again, so that she could either mouth him off, or they could physically put him to sleep by any means necessary.

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

That they will not let their love come first of their duties as Jedi. This is their most sacred promise. When the Purge happened, they promised each other to stay alive no matter what, and that they will reunite one day to train the new generation of Jedi.

And Mina broke it.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

Oh, Obi-Wan knows that if he gently strokes any of Mina’s tattoos on her chest (especially the one of his name, right besides her heart), she’ll get weak in the knees and be completely submissive to his wants. Add in some... Suggestive comments in that proper accent, and she’s goner.

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

She noticed in the mirror how his hand slowly moved under her burgundy tunic to stroke the newest tattoo mark, while the other slowly undid the knots of her stylish uniform. 

“I heard Commander Fox was your companion to the parlour. Did he get the pleasure of seeing the whole process?”

Mina’s red-coated lips smile.

“Jealous that another man got to see the love bites you’ve left all over my chest?”

“No. Those will make sure to leave the message that you’re already taken, my darling.”

Aminata had to admit, she loved the possessive streak that is hidden deep within him.

[prongsisabadger]

TWP Chapter 31

I had never felt such fear. The suffocating sensation of having the weight of an entire ocean on my chest, pushing me down, swallowing me into the darkness that was true terror. I had never been so afraid. I had experienced grief before, had thrown myself in danger’s way to protect those I held dear, and had faced the enemy time and time again. I had spent the last two years trying to keep the war from breaking me, but now, as I sped through Khorm airspace, dodging fighters and shooting down droids, I could feel it finally taking hold on my soul. The comm had come in from the lieutenant on the surface, Commander Wolffe’s squadron had spotted the CIS’s assassin Asajj Ventress, and they were in pursuit.

No amount of frantic yelling could get through to him, a storm was jamming communications and command had lost track of them. It wasn’t that I doubted the clone’s ability to face her, on the contrary, I often forgot that it wasn’t normal for any sentient species to be able to keep up with a Jedi’s training. What worried me was the fact that not even Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker had been able to either capture her or kill her. Asajj might have not been a Sith, but she was a damned good assassin, and a force sensitive one at that.

It didn’t take too much arguing to get their last known coordinates. Admiral Zapal decided it was a good idea to question me at some point. He didn’t get the chance to say much after I promptly informed him that he would be in charge of the assault from then on. The phrase “Jedi business” always worked wonders for situations like that. Of course I would pay for my improper use of power sometime later, but right then, I had friends to save, and hopefully, asassins to capture.

Landing was not easy, all sensors were down, and so were the scanners. I had to trust my gut and the Force to be able to navigate in such a snowstorm. But if landing was hard, it was nothing compared to what greeted me on the planet's surface. I felt two life forms ahead of me, not too far. It wasn’t a good sign, Wolffe’s squad had at least twenty men. As I made my way towards the two life forms, I started coming by small piles of snow in my path. Only it wasn’t snow, it was dead clone troopers whose bodies were starting to be covered by the storm. If I hadn’t been on a planet that was already frozen over, I would probably have attributed the cold in my veins to the absolute emptiness in the Force where life had once been.

When I finally made it to where I felt the two life forms, I saw her. Asajj Ventress stood over the kneeling body of a man, who held one of his brothers to him, cradling his head. She was boasting, calling the clones “Jedi lapdogs” and basking on what she presumed was a clean victory. She brought one of her red lightsabers up above her head and then swung. Before the blade could meet the neck of the trooper, I intercepted it with my own. Ventress hadn't felt my approach, and my sudden presence there made her take a leap back.

I took the opportunity and looked back at the trooper, and what I saw froze both my body and my soul. It was Sketcher, and in his arms was his brother and Commander, Wolffe. Wolffe, who’s right eye had been cut off and had been bleeding so profusely he was most likely dead already.

It took all my strength not to charge at the assassin right then and there. It took all my training to not allow myself to be consumed in darkness, to punish her for what she had done, to kill her for daring to touch my friends, to avenge Wolffe’s death. Yes, I wanted to give in, I wanted to kill her, to hurt her, to maim her, to make her suffer for what she had done.

But right there and then -underneath the overwhelming urge to kill, kill, KILL- Sketcher’s force signature did not change. He had been afraid when I had arrived, but he was terrified as he looked up at me through the visor of his helmet. It wasn’t Ventress who was causing that. It was like a slap to the face, a bucket full of freezing cold water over the head.

I was scaring him.

I tried my best to get a hold of myself, to bring my anger and grief under control. I then took the vibroblade Wolffe had given me and threw it at his knees.

“If you see me fall, don’t look back, Sketcher.” I said before I turned to face the woman that had caused all that death, all that destruction. The woman who had taken him from me.

“That is a cute gesture, Padawan. But none of you are leaving this planet alive.” She said, her posture relaxed, unguarded, arrogant. “You see, even if that lap dog of yours can’t feel the Force, I can. You are not as good a Jedi as you might think. Embrace the darkness, kid. Pain and suffering are the only reliable sources of strength.”

“I realize we have never been introduced, Ventress. I am Kriari Foreas, Plo Koon and Obi-wan Kenobi’s Padawan,” Ventress smiled at the mention of Obi-Wan, like someone who had fond memories associated with the name. “and while yes, pain and suffering are strong motivators, there is much more power in healing trauma than there is in holding onto it.” I answered.

We started circling each other like two predators on the hunt, sizing each other up, trying to determine what kind of a battle this would be.

“You should follow your own advice, kid, the force is quite dark around you.” She mocked.

“Oh yes, I’m sure it is. But since you are still alive and in possession of all your extremities, I would call that a win.” I countered, struggling to keep my face straight and my head clear.

Come on, Kriari, you didn’t spend your entire life training to be a Jedi only to allow this asshole to get to you know. Pull your shit together.

“If I wasn’t about to kill you right now, I’d think you are flirting with me, Padawan.” She teased.

“If you hadn’t killed one of the people I care for the most, I probably would be.”

But banter was only superficial, and as much as she seemed to enjoy it, she must have realized, just as I did, that there were no more words to be said. The only thing left to do was fight and put an end to whatever that was. Oh, and fight I did, to the best of my abilities. I fought like I never had before with calm only found in motion and the skill of a lifetime of training. I fought with the Force, it was the only reason I lived that day, because if I had succumbed to the darkness, Ventress would have won. And she wouldn’t have had to kill me to do it.

…

Art was not going to lie and say he wasn’t terrified. He wasn’t ashamed of it, because fear meant he was not stupid, fear was a survival mechanism to all sentient beings, it should always be respected. He had trained the whole eleven years he had been alive, he was one of the most powerful, efficient and intelligent soldiers in the galaxy right after the Jedi and so was every single one of his brothers. But Art was terrified.

Kriari had engaged Asajj Ventress on her own.

Kriari, the wiry seventeen year old he had first met on Geonosis who decided their lives were more important than Master Mundi’s esteem, the fearless leader who had put their lives ahead of the mission, the friend who had tattooed every single clone trooper she had lost on her skin. Kriari, his closest friend and most trusted ally, had engaged one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy on her own.

He didn’t doubt Kriari’s skill as a Jedi, in fact he was of the opinion that she had been holding back the entire time he had known her. Kriari was the eye of the storm in a battlefield. She was calm, collected and made quick decisions with ease. Even if she did bottle everything up and let it out in the safety of the barracks, Kriari was the most reliable person to have by your side on the battlefield. He had never seen her lose her cool, he had never seen her truly panic in the face of danger or death, she had always been strong and determined.

But this time, it was different.

This time, Wolffe was dying.

Art wasn’t blind, he knew they had a special bond. Wolffe had always been a stoic, sarcastic bastard, but he had developed a soft spot for Kriari the second they met. Kriari’s insistence in protecting the clones at the expense of her safety had only reinforced Wolffe’s protectiveness over her. He had noticed.

It hadn’t taken Kriari too long to develop a connection to him either. She had always needed someone to ground her when things got hard, and there was no one in the galaxy who was more grounded than his brother. They were quite different in a lot of ways, but they were both skilled, stubborn and willing to do anything for the people they cared for. If Art hadn’t known about the Jedi code, if he hadn’t been Kriari’s closest confidante, he would have thought they were together. They were a fearsome sight when they were on the same side of a conflict.

And now, Kriari had lost the one person who could help regulate her emotions, the one person who anchored her to the here and now. Kriari had lost one of the people she felt safest with, and Asajj Ventress had been to blame. She had taken his friend’s pillars and was going to feel the ceiling of Kriari’s composure come crashing down on her.

Art wasn’t stupid enough to believe Kriari wasn’t capable of murder. The only thing his Commander valued more than her life as a Jedi was her attachments, as controversial as it was. She didn’t need to say it, he had realized long ago that the second the Jedi Order did something to jeopardize the safety of the people she loved, she would burn the entire place to the ground. He didn’t think her Masters realized just how protective of them all she was. Art didn’t think they knew her as deeply as they thought they did. If they had, they would have reassigned her long ago.

Kriari Foreas was dangerous, and Art was scared. He wasn’t scared of her, he was scared for her. He knew that if his friend decided to take the path to the Dark Side, she would regret her decision every second of the rest of her life. Art knew Kriari was capable of murder, but he also knew she was not a murderer.

Admiral Zapal had been going ballistic over the comms, talking of insubordination and reckless action and threatening us all with court martial. But not one member of the Pack seemed to care. Yes, good soldiers followed orders, but the best soldiers left no one behind. And if the Wolfe Pack was anything, it was the best. Commander Foreas had fought and sweated and bled for and with them, they were not about to abandon her.

So he did the only thing he could do: he organized all the troops they had on the surface and set off to look for their missing Commander. Only two teams remained with the med tent, where the medics tried to keep Wolffe alive in every way they could think of. He left Twitch in charge, and disappeared through the storm alongside his brothers without looking back.

[levitatingbiscuits]

There was an old clone trooper joke that went like this:

General Koon, General Kenobi, and General Skywalker are arguing about who has the bravest men. They decide to settle it once and for all by making a bet.

Koon goes first, and claps a hand on a trooper’s shoulder. “Son,” he says, “I am so proud of you. Could you take out that battalion of clones for me by yourself?”

The trooper, being a member of the Wolf Pack, is practically bursting with pride. “Sir, yes, sir!” he says, and he goes and does it, all with a smile on his face.

“Impressive, but I think you’ll find my men to be more so,” says Kenobi. He calls over one of his men, leaning seductively on the side of a ship, scandalously showing a hint of collarbone. “Hello, there. Do you think,” he purrs, fluttering his lashes, “that you could capture that Separatist base for me, with one hand tied behind your back?”

The trooper, being a member of the 212th, is cherry red and vibrating with excitement. He can’t even speak, just nods vigorously, and does it in record time.

“Pssh, that’s nothing,” says Skywalker, and waves one of his men over. “Hey, trooper, I want you to strip off your armor and go ask Ventress for a drink.”

The trooper, being from the 501st, gives his general an incredulous look and promptly answers, “Kriff, no, sir!”

Skywalker, beaming, turns to the other generals and says, “See that? That’s real bravery!”

Rex is one of the few who can remember it, and one of the even fewer who even knows why it was once funny, even if it isn’t anymore. It was very true of his brothers in the Wolf Pack and the 212th, for all that Cody passionately (and blushingly) used to deny it, glancing around anxiously for fear of his general overhearing. When the chips activated, it stole what little culture the vode were able to build for themselves, and it stole the generals who were the basis of the joke in the first place.

Well, maybe not Skywalker. But when he hears the stories of Vader’s Fist, the callousness with which he spends clone lives and the absolute obedience he expects from his men, Rex thinks it may as well have.

[sithsdoinshit]

Can I have the siths reactions to having a mother like s/o. Like the type of person who always has a warm meal ready for them when they get home, no matter how inconsistent their schedule is. Also, their s/o always wishes them good luck on mission and kind of fusses over them when they get hurt? Thanks! ♈

my heart is warmed, anon….

vader: another memory. warm brown eyes look into the bright blues of a young boy, worn hands smoothing his dirty tunic. the woman gives him a small smile. there is food ready—not much, but more than is usual. vader snaps out of his daze, his partner looking at him in concern. (”it’s nothing—i was…thinking. that is all.”)

sidious: as an older man, he can appreciate having a motherly s/o. just don’t fuss too much. he doesn’t need someone making him feel like a helpless child. lord sidious is anything but, and doesn’t take kindly to actions that suggest such..

maul: it’s one thing to try and get used to your brother fussing over you, but to have his partner do the same? don’t get him wrong, there’s that part of him deep down that craves nurturing and love, but maul will definitely roll his eyes every time his s/o frets over him.

savage: you dare to out-mother the mother hen that is savage?? he greatly appreciates the meals and the care (expect lots of purring), he really does, but he will absolutely do the same to his s/o in return. he’ll make it a damn competition

asajj: look, she understands doting is an act of love, and she is grateful for it. better to be fussed over than not cared about at all. but ventress is an independent woman who prides herself on her ability to handle herself. eventually her s/o has to stop or tone it down a bit.

dooku: he’ll say things like “oh, you needn’t do that” and “i can take care of myself, beloved” and yet…dooku won’t resist his partner’s doting one bit. of course, he’ll return it in kind in his own way by pampering them.

kylo: “what are you, my mother?” he’ll gripe and mutter under his breath whenever he’s pampered by his lover, but his words couldn’t be any farther from the truth—he loves being doted on, and will return it with many hugs and kisses

nihilus: it’s a miracle enough to be loved by another, but to be tended to so fervently as well?…the lord of hunger could almost cry. nihilus responds excitedly to everything his beloved does and does his best to minimize their worrying. 

grievous: this…. fussing is not something kaleesh practice. to very young children, yes, but to anyone older than that? it somewhat confuses him, but he recognizes it as a sign of love and makes sure to thank his s/o profusely—especially if they do something like clean his armor.

inquisitor: pau’an blushes are very hard to see, but you can bet your bottom credit the inquisitor is blushing very hard. he doesn’t know whether to be embarrassed or pleased by his s/o’s actions. generally, he’ll huff and look to the side, but his s/o knows he appreciates it.

lana: usually, she’s the one fussing over them. to be mothered in return? (lana.exe has stopped working) it’s unexpected, to say the least. lana learns to accept it---love it, even---and smiles warmly whenever her lover dotes on her.

[ahsokabonteri]

Hello master. It’s been a while.

[posted on https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393699]

Obi-Wan is mocking me again! Just a couple of years ago, he himself had the same hairstyle. However, he was OK with that, he is always so stylish, but for me it’s just "Anakin, cut your hair! You do not look presentable. Soon I'll be able to braid." Padmé  likes my new hairstyle! She says that she wants to run her fingers into my curls. Oh, Padmé  ...

- Ugh-ugh! Too loud.

Master Kenobi pretended to cough and rubbed his chin efficiently, smoothed his neat beard. Skywalker, who was sitting next to him, nodded gratefully, not looking at the master. Sometimes (okay, let's be honest - often) Anakin had a feeling that Obi-Wan knew everything. Absolutely everything - about the wedding on Naboo, about the Jedi General’s stuff hiding in the apartment of Senator Amidala, about the stolen in the shady colonnades of the Senate kisses.

 Ahsoka also knew. She knew, and kept a secret. And still ...

- Ugh-ugh!

 Hutt's tail!

-Master Kenobi, your health does trouble you? Rest – you should. I advise the medical droid to apply after the meeting.

-A little…, yes, grand master. Thanks for worried. I will ... - Kenobi threw to Anakin his special Skywalker-listen-me-please-look - ... follow your advice.

Skywalker turned away, hiding a smile. Sometimes Kenobi cares too much. It was adorable, and annoying, and so touching that Anakin did not know what he wanted more - to roll his eyes, laugh or embrace his brother master tightly.

The Council meeting lasted an hour, and Skywalker began to get tired.

Well, more talking! Really? Here we go again about Vos and Ventress...

One more hour.

Delightfully, they started talking about Mandalore. Oh, come on! Lets decide whom the lucky ones are, who will be thrown there? Hmm, let's guess, really ...

 Anakin, shut up!

 Obi-Wan, how rude.

 You're provoking.

 Come on! They can not just...

-I think Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker will cope with the task. -  master Windu said and looked very strictly at the young Skywalker.

 Well done, Anakin! You are the best!

 Hutt's tail ...

[1st part of the story]

[charity-angel]

On Buns and Ovens (10/?)

[Part 1]   [Part 9]

[Read on AO3]   because formatting and cuts and Mando'a translations

Rex was hovering in mid-air over him, a blur of face and torso surrounded by bright light. Why was he doing that? And, more importantly, how?

“Hey, sleepy,” he said. His voice was light, but it didn’t follow through to the grave expression on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” Kix mumbled. “Did I hit it?”

“Kix.” That was another vod, off to his right. Kix turned, and blinked. It looked like...

“Ryll?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, and Kix felt a swell of pride - his boy had stepped up, and was coping well. He wasn’t even shaking. As long as he had someone to watch out for him (to make him rest when the tremors inevitably did start), he was going to thrive when he was finally allowed to take his exams.

“We were at Senator Amidala’s, with Ahsoka,” he said slowly, retaining the presence of mind not to mention a certain someone else. “General Kenobi was there, and… we were talking about this thing with Tup and the virus.”

Ryll shook his head, smiling. “Well, you remember enough to not say certain things. I know about Fives.”

“Oh.” Kix sat up slowly, thinking. “Oh! My chip’s out?”

“Knew you’d get there. So, how do you feel?”

Kix shrugged. “Apart from the hole in my head, pretty much… they took my lines out, didn’t they?”

Ryll smirked. “Try looking at it more as ‘you match Jesse’.”

Kix laughed, and ran a hand over his shorn scalp. “Yeah, true. I’m not feeling homicidal, if that’s what you mean.”

“And how do you feel about our jetiise?”

“Skywalker’s a pain in the ass, but at least he’s ours,” Kix said without hesitation. “Kenobi –“ he glanced over at Rex, who was studying his reaction with interest: “he’s insane in the field, but we can trust him with anything.”

Rex grinned, which was more than a little bit in relief.

Ryll made a couple of notes on his pad. “You feel like killing either of them?”

Kix wanted to glare, but he knew that was something they desperately needed to check. “Not currently. We’ll see how I feel next time they next do something idiotic. Why? Oh, you think…”

He sighed and buried his head in his hands. “You think Tup’s actually did what it’s supposed to, without whatever the trigger is supposed to be.”

Rex gave him a haunted look. “I can’t think too hard about it, but you know what it is.”

He did? Kix couldn’t think what it could possibly be that would make them betray their jetiise.

“Can I see what you took out?”

“Sure,” Ryll said. “Come through to our secret lab.”

Kix eyed him carefully. “If you can make jokes like that, I’m not working you hard enough.”

“Ignore him,” Rex said to Ryll. “He gets extra cranky when he’s a patient. Come on, vod’ika.”

“I’m older than you!” Kix said indignantly.

Rex led them out of the recovery room Kix had woken up in and along a corridor to… well, as it turned out, Ryll hadn’t been joking that much: it was a medical lab. In there was Jesse and Fives, along with Ahsoka and General Kenobi, and a couple of the jetiise healers Kix had worked with before.

Ahsoka wrapped herself around him in an attack-hug, and he couldn’t help but relax into her familiar embrace.

Fives looked alert, if not somewhat pissed. Kix could appreciate that: he was getting there himself.

“My turn,” Rex said, steering Kix towards a stool between Fives and Jesse. “We’ve got three positive results – I think I’m risking more by keeping this karking thing in my head.”

“Agreed, Captain Rex,” Healer Awaraven said. “Even if we can’t work out for certain what this does, we can verify that it doesn’t do what the Kaminoans say they do.”

“Sirs, I appreciate why no-one has said about mine,” Ryll said, “and if you really think it’ll do more harm to remove it then I’ll not say anything else, but I’d rather have it out, if it’s all the same.”

“If I might,” Healer Tayla said, turning on her stool so that she faced Ryll, “the triggering of this chip might be highly detrimental to your unique neuropathology; more so than for the rest of your brothers.”

Awaraven nodded. “Quite so. We’ll remove yours as soon as Captain Rex’s surgery has been complete although, as you know, the anaesthetic is more difficult for you. Fortunately, Captain Kix has kept copious notes, and I trust his judgement.”

Rex and Ryll turned to head out with the two Jedi healers.

“K’oyacyi,” Kix said. It wasn’t a ‘goodbye’, the standard interpretation of the phrase. Kix genuinely meant it as an instruction to them both.

“Ven’narir, vod,” Rex replied. He still looked tense, and Kix knew that wouldn’t ease now until this had been resolved.

  .oOo.

  Once they were gone, Kix turned his attention to Fives.

“How are you?”

Fives shrugged. “Well, I’m not tripping any more,” he said. “That’s a bright side. But, I’m freezing, I’m a fugitive, and I’m being set up.”

Kix rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You’re not alone, though,” he pointed out. “We all believed you enough to go under the knife.”

“And I will continue to attempt to persuade the rest of the Council,” Kenobi added.

“I’m not sure there’s much point, sir,” Kix said. “Not if the Sith can mess with their heads like I think he can.”

Kenobi met his eyes. “I hate to have to agree, but it does seem like the only reasonable explanation.”

“It makes perfect sense,” Ahsoka growled. “It’s scary that someone could be that powerful, but…”

Kenobi’s gaze was on Kix, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“You want to know where I was going with my thoughts when I blacked out?”

Kenobi nodded. “I do. I have a suspicion: I want to see whether you have reached the same conclusion.”

“Someone in the Senate, with enough power to pull strings with the army? Someone high enough up to feed intelligence to the Seppies? There’s really only two people powerful enough to even consider and, well, the Chancellor could be a puppet, but if Dooku and Ventress are anything to go by, the Sith are an egotistic, megalomaniacal lot. The head bad guy isn’t going to hide behind someone else. He’d just hide in plain sight instead, gathering enough power to take over everything.”

Kenobi was nodding, and Ahsoka looked horrified. Fives didn’t appear surprised (and no wonder – he was lucky to be alive!). Jesse – for once, Kix was struggling to read him.

“But… Skyguy’s friends with him.”

“That’s why he isn’t here, isn’t it?” Jesse asked, his voice lacking any inflection. “Because you suspected, and his head’s probably been messed up more than ours.”

Kenobi nodded sadly. “The pieces do seem to fit, don’t they? But it’s taken this unfortunate event to allow those pieces to slot into place, for some reason. I suspect that this was not part of the Chancellor’s – Lord Sidious’ – plan. Whatever spell he has cast over us to stop us from seeing has come apart slightly.

“And yes, Jesse, you are absolutely correct: I have kept this from Anakin on purpose, precisely because he is close to… to Sidious. I think Ahsoka suspects why Sidious wants Anakin – there is a reason, and I’ll share it when Rex and Ryll return. I’ll have to start getting some of my troops here too, but that would look too suspicious at the moment. For the time being, Anakin is being kept busy with the search, and we will fill him in when we are certain he is not a danger to himself or others.”

Ahsoka’s lekku were bunched unhappily and Kix had absolutely no idea what to say to help her process this. That their boss, the head of the army, was the Sith Lord they had been searching for all this time – that their general was friends with him – was a bit too much to take.

“Come on, show me what this is all about,” he said, in a blatant attempt to change the subject.

Kenobi reached over and picked a slide off the workbench. He handed it over wordlessly. Kix held it up to the light: it didn’t look like much, just any old sample that the healers here could have been examining: a couple of cells deep and smaller than his thumb.

“The healers can tell you the specifics,” Jesse said when Kix lowered it, baffled, “because there were words that went over my head, but best they’ve been able to describe it to us is that this disrupts the part of our brains that makes us us, and turns us into flesh droids. We’d follow orders, and eat, sleep and shit, but nothing else.”

“One order, specifically,” Fives added darkly. “Contingency Order Sixty-Six.”

Kix had to think that one over because, while he had learned the contingency orders, he had had more important things to fill his brain with instead, like how to make his brothers not die. And he had a Jesse for that kind of thing.

“They’re the ridiculous, worst case scenario orders, aren’t they? The ones that cover things like who takes command if the Chancellor is unfit for duty, or eliminating an asshole via mass-execution, or handling a bio-attack, or…”

“Or if that waste of oxygen decides that the Jedi are ‘acting against the Republic’,” Jesse concluded. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“But, one the plus side, if we can get someone to initiate one of the Orders to remove him from office, he can’t give Order Sixty-Six,” Fives added.

“I’m all for Order Sixty-Five myself,” Jesse said bitterly. At Kenobi’s questioning expression, he quoted: “‘In the event of either (i) a majority in the Senate declaring the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) to be unfit to issue orders, or (ii) the Security Council declaring him or her to be unfit to issue orders, and an authenticated order being received by the GAR, commanders shall be authorised to detain the Supreme Commander, with lethal force if necessary, and command of the GAR shall fall to the acting Chancellor until a successor is appointed or alternative authority identified as outlined in Section 6 (iv).’”

Their jetii looked faintly horrified.

“Order Sixty-Six is pretty much the same, only it’s less vague about lethal force,” Kix said. “I get why they’re so angry. Give me some time and I’ll probably get there too.”

“There are a few contingencies that can be used to remove the Chancellor from power,” Fives said. “Order Sixty-Five is the most extreme, but it’s probably also the best one, because ‘acting Chancellor’ is a vague idea at best. Order Four throws command to the vice chair, and he’s probably a puppet, and you’d have to ‘incapacitate’ the bastard; Order Five goes to the Chief of the Defence Staff, and xe’s probably no better.”

Kenobi blinked. “Sidious gave you three different ways he could be removed from control of the army, just to hide an order about the Jedi?”

“Fives is right, though,” Kix pointed out. “Given how manipulative the Sith are, even if we removed him from power somehow, his replacements are likely to just be proxies. At least an acting Chancellor has to be nominated diplomatically and, good as he is, I don’t think he could get to everyone in the Senate. If someone like Senator Amidala or Senator Organa was nominated, we’d be absolutely fine.”

“Until they get assassinated by a Sith,” Jesse pointed out. Well, wasn’t he just a total ray of sunshine today?

“Well,” Kenobi said, decisively, “we shall just have to make sure that doesn’t happen. Now, failing an overall majority in the Senate, did you say it was the Security Council we have to convince?”

[Part 11]

[kyberled]

hc + light saber form/combat style

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’ll write a headcanon about it. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING

God bless you and your crops, Zach, because I have a lot of things to say about this.

To start off with, Braig is capable of using one saber, but he vastly prefers his two, for Jar’Kai. When he was a little tot, he and the other initiates trained with one training saber, so that’s what his initial instruction was in; and, I imagine, he’s been made to learn to fight with just one, in case of injury or loss of weapon. But, his main style is absolutely Jar’Kai. He feels significantly more comfortable with a pair, and it reflects in his movements and fighting style. Since we’ve seen Obidad dual-wielding a few times, most notably in the fight with Vos against Bane, it’s 100% possible that Obi taught Braiggo how to use two, and that’s the canon for this blog. Now, if I remember right, Obi originally practised Form III, but, following Qui’s death, added some Form V into his personal style to develop a bit more of a defence. So, that would mean that the core/base foundation of Braig’s fighting style would likely be a similar mix, only adapted for Jar’Kai. (It’s also worth noting that Braig is Obi’s padawan after Anakin gets knighted, so I imagine Obidad’s got his mixed style well-established, by then.) 

A while ago - I think a few months - Liz told me that her Mace considered Braig an eligible candidate for learning Vapaad, and would teach him, if Obi-Wan said it was okay (and since Dad has a very hard time saying no to his kiddo, I can’t imagine him veto’ing this, but I’d have to run it by Rodi for hard-and-fast confirmation) [Update: Rodi says ‘Obi is of the mind that Braig choosing to learn from other Masters can only make him that much more well informed and learned. He supports it 100%.’]. According to Liz, Mace would start teaching Braig Vapaad when Braig was about twelve or thirteen (incidentally, about the same time Braig was padawan’d), which means when Braig left the basic training initiates get, he got some pretty mixed education irt: his saber training. But, he wouldn’t have it any other way. When Mace offered to teach this bean, Braig would have been literally vibrating - he was so excited, but also trying to appear like a ‘proper’ Jedi who was worthy of the offer, so he’d literally be minutely shaking because he’s so excited and hyped up and also honoured? I mean, for one, Mace is offering, of his own free will, to train Braig, and having this be so soon after the emotional disaster that was Braig’s attempts to find a master, feeling that- wanted, for lack of a better word, was a pretty big deal for him. On top of that, he’s learning a form from the person who created it. That’s gotta be a huge honour. Not to mention, People Who Know Vapaad is a pretty exclusive club to be in. You could probably count them all on one hand, and still have fingers left over. I know in the Jedi Path, Anakin complains about how Mace won’t teach him Vapaad, and Ahsoka adds that, quote, ‘Nobody learns Vapaad’. So, the fact that Mace chose him, chose Braig– I’m serious when I say, if Braig hadn’t been taught to keep his emotions in check, and wasn’t worried about Mace changing his mind, Braig probably would’ve started crying. Like, the kid was just completely overwhelmed. But, yes; Braig does, in fact, know Vapaad, in the blog’s ‘main canon’ (as in, it applies to 99% of threads, but, if I were to write with another Mace who didn’t share this headcanon, then Braig’d only know Forms III and V in any real, extensive detail). He would spend the bulk of his Vapaad training (or, at least, the early days) learning Vapaad with one saber, as the form was originally made, and then working on adapting it to work with two lightsabers both on his own time and with Mace’s guidance, and then, once Braig was more comfortable with the form’s movements and applications and all, I imagine lessons would be a mix of training with one and two sabers. 

But, that ramble is just there to let you know that Braig’s fighting style would be pretty weird. A nice mix between Soresu (Form III), Shien / Djem So (Form V), and, of course, Vapaad (Form VII). Which shows through most while he’s fighting depends on the day, the situation, who he was working with most recently, and so on and so forth (Though I will also note, that since Vapaad requires a lot of mental focus and Force-use, he’s less likely to employ it if he’s tired or worn-down, especially when he’s younger). When he trains, he usually takes the time (when he can) to practise sets specific to each individual form, and then when he’s doing more free-flow exercises, or just sparring with his friends, he lets himself slide back into his little blend/adapting style, where all three blend together. (I would also like to say that he is quite glad that he practised the individual forms after Order 66, and especially after he takes on an apprentice/apprentices of his own. Being able to switch his fighting style up makes him harder to find when he doesn’t want to be, sure, the came as changing up any MO would, but it’s more than that. He considers the forms, Vapaad especially, an important part of the history of the Jedi, and he’s glad to be able to preserve it and pass it on - though he, like Mace, would be very selective with who would get to learn Vapaad).

As a final note, it’s important for me to add that Braig’s sabers are made to be joined together at one end, making them into a saber-staff (If I remember right, we see a similar mechanism in Asaaj Ventress’ lightsabers, but I could be wrong). The Book of Sith claims that saber-staves are a Sith-exclusive weapon, but Vos writes that he knows at least one Jedi (can’t remember the name) who has a staff, and we know Krell has two - though Braig is loathe to be compared to him for any reason. So, I’m taking all of this to mean that it’s uncommon for a Jedi to use a saber-staff, but it’s not entirely unheard of. So Braig probably had to scrounge around for a saber-staff instructor. It’s not something he uses as often as he does his dual sabers separately, but he is proficient enough to use it in combat. Now, the thing is, you can’t use a saber-staff the way you would use a regular staff. You just can’t. (Also, minor pet peeve, it’s not a ‘bo staff’. ‘Bo’ means ‘staff’. ‘Bo staff’ = ‘staff staff’. Just. Don’t. On behalf of the entire dojo.) But this realisation came to me when I was swinging a guandao around with Sifu Sam and my younger brother. Why the idea of lightsabers and staves came to me during practise with a guandao, which is neither a sword, nor a staff (though it is staff-like), I’ll never know, but it did. See, the thing is, in our kobudo at least, there are a number of forms, including the bo-lengthening exercise and a number of kata, where your hands slide to the bottom-third of the bo, rather than the middle, where your hands would normally be. The bottom third of a saber-staff is the blade. … I don’t need to tell you why that’s a problem. There are also moves where the ends of the staff are braced against your bicep, or come very close to your neck/head/shoulder when you set up for some strikes. I can imagine that’s somewhat disconcerting when the ends of the staff are made of superheated Force-powered plasma. Similarly, in our style of kung fu, when you use a spear, you typically hold it by the bottom-third too; you do the same with a guandao for a few moves (though a bit less frequently), and there are parts where you kick up the ends, or you use your elbow to push the handles into some parts, and basically what I’m saying is if you used a saber-staff like you would a normal polearm you’d probably get sliced up. The weighting would be so weird, too - from my understanding, it’d be focused in the middle, with the metal handles, and the blades might not weigh anything at all? @Lucasfilm give me lightsaber physics please. Aside from that, on the end of this OOC tangent, I’d add that I write Braig’s footwork/movements as mostly what we’ve seen in The Clone Wars, since there’s no way I’d be able to learn how to move like a Jedi (esp. in regards to Vapaad, which, to me, seems to have some of the most distinct movements of any form we see thus far), but there are notes of the martial arts I do in there, too. Namely the kung fu, since that fits him best, in my opinion. But this is long enough, and I could rant about that for long enough to put myself to sleep. 

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars      Revenge

Fun fact; I acc-         idental-ly started the wrong episode

       [So a little Spoiled]

   Didn’t make it far past the intro of          “Re-Vival,”

     [Past           “Outer Rim,”]

      Onto the actual             episode;

       [Logo Red]                   Still weakest-

      [also yeah whatever happened to      Grievous?

     Like, he complained about it being           beneath him,

      And then      we never saw him        again,

    That entire-    episode;

    As well as        Ana kin;

   That entire        dinner          scene;

      [Seriously was that only for cheap trick to     establish tension?.]      [Obi         -Wan           ]  

      Oh yeah      he straight up       murdered         a person

      [Fun.     -          little de          tail-]

       (Like yeah he murders a lot of people        but I’m pretty sure      that was a big one)

    -

  Any how,    

     ?           Aight             -      oh yeah 

return    -ing       to the abuser-

    -       

   ?    Can      Relate-          -    B-r

   He’s - basically screaming

     Also couldn’t you just set it to auto pilot -

     - and go take care of him?

      Like - I know it’s a junker

       Also-

  Oh,

   You left the person-

    Who are you found curled            -up,           Under several things-            Of garbage-             In a quite literal            labyrinth,

         In an enclosed space            ~with no way to get to you-             ~ if something goes wrong           and/or              they feel afraid

            ~Like~          Trauma is it’s own animal and venting is fucking weird

          But if you’re going to be involved-

            I don’t think throwing them in the back is the best idea-

            Like yeah

           The idea in this case is sending them to accoun-                 tability-

           With just           them-selves-

            But the difference-

           Is it just a sterile environment         with the basics they need to survive,

            And an environment that is stable and pretty            much completely in their control,

          [as much that can be allowed]

           Here there are  plenty of boxes                   (Things out of               control-)         and the vehicle is constantly moving

            No wonder        dude’s               freaking                 Out,

           [You’re                  Damn-

   [Point        being;

      Savage’s           bedside             manner;          Accoun-tability?                Pretty               bad,

                 [Like even I am most known for my                       vengeance,                         And you know it’s bad                        when I’m telling you to cut him a                      fecking break]

                     Like                          dude’s                    pathetic,

                    [Can’t help pity-                         ]                        [Enabler]

 That also makes a lot of sense

Like, yeah he’s far above the ground

         When stability-

   [Dude ate the full       tox]

 [Like dude completely bought his own        lies]

 I-  don’t know how to feel about that situation other than please take him to accountability  before he hurts him self        Please,

 ,

Yeah gaslighting will clearly help    toaster strudel,       here,

      ?            ?

    How are you supposed to do that when           you trapped him in an         en-closed           Space-

         ?

        Dude some ship contain-ers shifted and now you’re blaming him for not moving,

        (Like I get the implication that he scared and he moved it in front but we really didn’t see much to indicate that)

       Like they just moved on their     own,

    And dude did literally nothing to help his cornered brother out of the thing

    [like I’m not for enabling tox]

   But self-defense and         anticipatory           [as well as innocent until            done guilt,                   “

   Is pretty high     on my list of reserv         -ations,

         [Gen             Stick as close to              Account.                as possible,               -]

            ?

          Yeah probably a good idea           considering War zone,

            ?

           Yeah they’ve         been dead for a while and did it largely of their              own regard-                  ,

              ?

            Yeah             sucks for him,

           Coming back,

              To this

             [also you think the Flashy amulet would be telling him not to because you know the attack ,

             Green smoke

             [Time to get        gasolighten]        -          ?

    Mother-       -         He-re

   Clearly dead

   [and your      Gen clearly didn’t have medical on staff              .               Like yeah they have magic that can bring back the dead but they don’t know first aid,

         Great

 [For witches they really don’t know a lot about      herbs and      stuff

  (The Cauldron       yeah,)

    Which is weird because   mred is generally associated with physical    knowledge

   (The science       s)

   And he did a real good job,

    Like we-akest dude on the board whose job amounts to         widespread warfare           (But a pretty disastrous record in          guerilla warfare)

        And you still lost him with the late present playing in              (What was even their focuses              ?)

      Su-rvive

     Lady, there is one of you,

     Two if you count Ventress,

  Unless,

   Oh no

   Nope keep your weird       creepy re-venge        cult,

      In the past,

      ?

       -

    “Would,”

          [which is why            I didn’t get him                 myself         ]

                    [Better]

                    [For                        Every

                     One,]

        “Damage                  ed,”

     Which is why I brought            him to you              Gas-lighter                         -                   “Life,”

    Oh instead of taking into accountability

         Let’s subject him to more                 abuse;

            Some                   Thing             The past        is tox,

  Would definitely be better for him to wake up in a nice        warm place with food,

    Kenobi

   Didn’t he     just rem-ember that         now?

      Like;

     Why is there the        rattling of chains?

     (Oh yeah let’s re-introduced to          enabler to its toxic abuser;

        Like yeah           I know it’s still there            because he didn’t deal with it,

          But he’s clearly not in the head space

            [Seriously just send the bastard to accountability]

                  [empathetically]                          Gas light

                     [i’m trying not to make as many jokes about the gaslighting but that is a literal gaslight]

                     Hey isn’t that the    illusion of help,

                     [Also how is that supposed to help with the        crates?]

     Also yeah wouldn’t that piss him off more because of light, light saber the last time that occurred?

     [Like I’m not saying don’t use herbs on the guy who got injured, I’m just saying try to make it less pain...ful?

              Ok, seriously those boxes were a lot hotter to move a few seconds ago what the heck

        [it’s not major.     but it is a minor          thing?]

          .                  F-ollow

        And make the injured, toxic dous-ed-              Person run,

           (This family’s bedside manner is               fuckin awful,

             His horns?

              Seriously is no one          going to help him,

               ?

   And a graveyard

    Perfect nothing better to put your patients at ease then being surrounded by the dead women’s of the last patients

                 Great

    Guessing the surgery isn’t going to be approved by any            surgeons lately-

         ?

        Un-attainable

         ?

       Geez,

        Like some herbs could’ve done that you didn’t need to     poke him,

        Like how is that supposed to help him go to    sleep?

      ?

      That’s clearly not sleeping,

       Which is good because that’s not a           Gaslighter talent         (TALENT is used          very loosely here,)

     “Symptom”       is more           like it,

        [Like, that was         fear as he fell back and she        poked him in the face,]

Aw,

  [This was way too screwed up to be             Complete acceptance of guilt                    And healing,

               So,

              Symbolism wise,

    I’m going to have to go with more gaslighting

  Aka, pretending to fix the       issue,

      Because that’s not how it works in either a       psychological sense or            (Obvious               ly           Medical)

                                                        The witches                                                              practice                                                           pho-science

                          Not a line                              I’d thought                            I’d be uttering,

                                   But up to this point they’ve been keeping it mostly on point for gaslighting        (Sy-mbolism)

                       Here it   kinda breaks down,

                        Like, how

Unless    it’s higher point.

     But No.

    Scene         doesn’t really make       sense,

 (Like the     ani-      mation have no idea what    theo-      retically          is going on,

         Emotions,                Nada,

 Damn, herbs       Lady, herbs,

  Like,        I don’t-      Think        The      Medicals        Would          Be         Too       Happy,          With the lack           of            anesthetic              There,

       (Like             Geez-  Think dude would        ra-

      ?

  (Like that’s some       tox feckin      medical lady,)

    Also great now he’s gone unconscious from stress; hopefully you didn’t emotionally scar the bastard,

       Geez,

     Yeah I would’ve that kinda      frozen terror reaction to if that shit happen  

    “Ow!”

     Like, dude, no wonder,

    ?

    Feels wrong,

    Oh, those were his feet

    Also yeah leave your patient in a terrifying          ce-met-        ery

   I don’t think anyone could       blame       me for feeling bad for this guy at this point,

    Like lady is a bunch of malpractices wrapped in a bunch of         ‘fucking don’t’

     Terrible bedside

        Tor-ment-

         Legs

     [Honestly, surprised         dude isn’t screaming in terror, pain and agony

      [That take some serious breathing exercises]

      [excuse me if I sound a bit pho-science]           ]

      Geez

    Re-stored

   Not the      word,

   Some humor      might’ve been appreciated there

    Also yeah what about his organs and      shit?

     How.

   [i’m getting too much in the    medical.

   Just,

   This,     shouldn’t have wor      -k       -ed           -            Seriously 

   That is your reaction?

   [I was honestly expecting          his vocal cords             to be shot,]

      Like I was not expecting Lord Butter              of the Fucking Edgy

        Was expecting like a       stutter or some thing,

      [You know a gradual recovery       Period]

      Dude talking like it’s been a few months, a few years since this whole thing went down

     “ oh yes it was a very dark place.”

        Like I feel like that’s kind of cheating,

         Like,

         That shouldn’t            have fixed it,

         You just ran past a very             interesting conflict           with space magic-

         [Like I guess I don’t have to worry about his grudges              with anyone]

       -and Tal-Zin surprisingly didn’t use this make the        trauma go away button with           Ventress

            [That feels like              cheating,]

             Oh, so he has probl-e-ms                 sta-nding?

               [Like, what?

                Is the            problem?

                 ]

                 Also yeah don’t help him at all dude

           Like going on about how           im-portant he is-

                                  I mean his bed-side-

            No on second thought you stay over there, you’ll probably attempt to gaslight him otherwise,

             Anyway after that Adventure in  Malpractice and Gaslighting                    ,              Dark music,

            Just stumbles          ar-ound,

       Sur-vive

       ?

      Was that an an-swer?

       I-

     Well that went from Captain Butter I-am-       Over-it,

     To Murder,

    Pretty damn         fast,

       ,

     Also what about the male tribe,       you know where these guys came from?

    Like Ventress only screwed with a small portion of    them,

    (Like a significant portion of their offspring        , but not the whole village)

       Then that other          village?

       (The one-   on the other planet?)

     Any-way,

    Stop

 Well this just went    from one to     basket Case-       -  

[Ok where did this come from?]

  [what’s-       with the soliloquy)         ]

    -        Found

   Seriously,

    Whoa,

    Like that   anger takes time to build up,

   Don’t get me     wrong   I’m no expert on space magic;

  However this is why I have issue with magic;

                  [Specifically                         non-elemental;                         (Earth, water                         fire, air,                            And                          Lightning)

                          Because you have to be really specific about what it represents and get the side effects right

         Otherwise it’s just a reality breaking                    cheap trick,

                     Skipping past a lot of interesting    conflict and emotions,

                     [Had they done that and just started it off at   some     random           Emotional)         Plot point)

       I think I could follow              -ed it easier,              (Or at all)

        Because right now he’s just acting very inconsistently and        irrationally

  (And not the           emotional     “drank the whole bottle of          tox,”           ,The puppet shouting lines with no connection with each other, making absolutely no sense            Kind

 Like “Congrats, you’ve got the emotion        now you need the consistency,”

      (You can’t have your time skip      and        your emotional conflict too,

    They are connected    and you have to earn them,

         E-motion

   (Yeah,        people who swallowed the whole tox pill don’t tend          To be        very good at that,)

      That’s why they’re sent accountability

       So there’s no additional pressure

       (And they can go through the long relatively painful process in as much peace as possible,  should they decide            to,

      In-stead of stewing in their own      mi-sery-            -                |.  

         ?

    Heck did you find     that?

     Like he and his light saber presumably fell to the ground and will deliver to the same dump,

      (Is that Savage’s?)

        ?

          Or an        instigating abuser who has less power than literally anyone else                 (Their victims)

            Aside from the                Gen break,

              -                   Great recap

             It’s completely unnatural 

     and forced,

              [Like you could’ve had him slowly regain his memory and repeat this back,

         This being like a prime recovery arc moment

           The arc words     of recovery,

      But you rushed it

       Now, it’s non-       sense,

       [This is why    you have to take time doing things,]

         Heck it didn’t even have to be an               arc long-

           Maul runs the top of a hill,                 With Savage- cha                  s-ing,

              [Stops suddenly,]

               [Silence]

               [you get a nice cinematic shot of the sun or some of the     celestial bodies,

     [with the emotions im-plied of      someone who just came back to        life-]

       [and is seeing the world         sentient for the first time,             ]

        “I-

          [Fumbled                   for              Words]

             I- was                   -The                      Appren-

               [Really adding               that depth of                 loss,]

                 [Savage possibly                        taking his shoulder,                     possibly emphasizing                            a new edge                          to his character,      An empathetic one,

                   “you can start anew,”

                    “C’mon let’s head back to the                      ship,”  

                       [Guide Maul back to the ship

                        [Dying sunlight]             

 For some      humor;         *Turns           Back,            Keys           hanging           off          finger,”

     “you can ride          in the front           this time             around,”

     [MIGHT BE TOO             FLUFFY]

    [Can adjust       using color scheme;         And more aggressive              tone,]

           So, yeah, that was episode              [not the side pieces]

    The first half         was         relatively good...

      Before promptly descending into        bat shit insanity        (Not in the good               way....)

      [Around the resurrection of Maul              from the           gas magic)

  From there,         The tone gets pretty thin        and intel..

     With the brief whiff           of emotion,

        That barely passes decent            on the fun scale,

          Not passing fun

         Just luke warm humor,

             Over images                  happening,

             With little (or-no                   connection)-

                ?                       [They still haven’t fixed Obi-wan’s                           eyes,                           Or his tone,                             Or his                               face,

                           Man is like an expression- less       Emotion-less doll,]

                               Competing with Anakin                                  for the youngest looking Jedi

                              [not sure if that was the point with the re-assignment      surgery/     Facial   reconstruction).      Arc

   But they really need to talk with the med Droid         that approved that       and get a       fix,

    The inability to express emotion        isn’t cute,

     (He looks        like a toy!)

     -Not Good-

     -