#Count Dooku

[cruella1989]

Beautiful!

“I purposely developed themes and ideas and repeat them. And it’s very very clear in the [original and prequel] trilogies that I’m putting the characters in pretty much the same situations, sometimes even using the same dialogue so that the father and son go through pretty much the same experience.  Obviously, Anakin takes a different road than his son takes, so at some of these turning points they go the other way — but it’s been set up for you to almost expect Luke to follow in his father’s footsteps, which leads to a subtle influence which gives the audience a little expectation… “  - [George Lucas, The Phantom Menace DVD commentary track, 2001]

[charmwasjess]

There are few things funnier to me than Christopher Lee pushing back so hard on the original Revenge of the Sith script, insisting that Dooku would not beg at the end, oh yes sir, He Wouldn’t Fucking Say That

….only for him to go on to deliver the most powerfully articulate “uwu but i’m babby??” eyes in the history of film.

[star-wars-forever]

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - 20th anniversary

by Jonathan Beistline for Star Wars Celebration

[galactic-rhea]

they're supportative in their own way,,,i think

[tip jar!] || AU tag

[paracosm-draw]

I'm just gonna put this here 🫠🫠🫠

Anakin v Dooku Early Test

[bolithesenate]

anyone wanna see a poem that is not about Dooku but is also definitely about Dooku?

[viv-hollande]

OK, so the Rako Hardeen Arc is actually in shambles and I hate it now.

No, seriously, hear me out.

I want to make it clear (because Star Wars fans can be Like That™) that I am not coming at this as someone who hates Star Wars, or who hates TCW. This very arc used to be one of my favorites, and it kind of breaks my heart how utterly broken it is. With that out of the way, on with the internet-friendly numbered list.

1. The Jedi Council's plan is so fucking stupid.

Why, in the name of the Force, was this the plan the Jedi went with? Beyond the stuff we'll get into later, this plan comes with the obvious risk of, ya know, killing Obi-Wan Kenobi. Seriously, the Jedi are so lucky that Hardeen went for the torso and not the head, or else they'd be down a Council member and have nothing to show for it. This is such a dumb move that it should have scuppered the entire plot immediately. It's especially stupid because there is an obvious alternative.

Just hire Hardeen to fake the assassination.

I promise you, bounty hunters have taken way weirder assignments, and Hardeen would barely give it a second thought. This not only solves some more problems down the line, but it also stops the Jedi Council from killing Obi-Wan Kenobi accidentally. Speaking of problems...

2. Why do the Jedi even need to fake Obi-Wan's death?

No, seriously.

Surely Obi-Wan takes breaks away from the front for, like, paperwork and meditation. He's a Council member on top of being a General, so he probably has all kinds of Council work that takes him away from the front for periods of time.

Even outside of that, one would expect there to be stretches of time where nobody outside of the GAR knows where Obi-Wan even is. He is a General fighting in a war. Surely the Jedi have heard of operational security. There have to be weeks to months on end where Obi-Wan's location is unknown.

Would it really be so hard to just send the 212th on space-only missions for a few weeks, where nobody would be able to tell if Obi-Wan was present or not? If you're worried about his fighter being absent, just shove Plo Koon or somebody in there and no one will be any the wiser! Even if they pick up on Plo Koon being missing, there's no way that they'll assume that Kel Dor Plo Koon is actually oxygen-breathing Rako Hardeen.

The point of this whole segment is that it should be normal for Obi-Wan to disappear from the public eye for stretches of time, so him being missing for a week or two should not automatically mean that he's undercover disguised as a bounty hunter trying to stop a kidnapping plot against the Chancellor.

3. What is Palpatine's plan?

And yes, the kidnapping is Palpatine's plan. Dooku is the organizer, and Dooku takes orders from Palpatine.

So the end result of the Hardeen Arc is that the deception creates a growing rift between Anakin and the Jedi leading up to RotS. Great. That sounds good, that's something Palpatine would want.

But how does getting kidnapped help with that?

It isn't made clear in the show who exactly came up with the fake assassination plan as a whole, but we do know who came up with the deception part of the plan.

Obi-Wan Kenobi. Not the Chancellor.

Which...makes sense, at least for the Chancellor. The very last thing he would want is Anakin asking Obi-Wan about the plot and Obi-Wan responding, "I had no choice. I was following the Chancellor's orders." This would arguably be an even bigger betrayal than Obi-Wan's in the canon show. Not only is Anakin's relationship with Palpatine more emotionally invested in a way that Anakin's relationship with Obi-Wan isn't allowed to be, but Anakin tells Palpatine everything, including, no doubt, Anakin's deep attachment to Obi-Wan. (And even if Anakin didn't explicitly tell Palpatine, well, he does have eyes and a functioning brain. Anakin isn't exactly subtle.) From Anakin's perspective, it would seem like the Chancellor abused his trust to further some political scheme, which is an outcome that Palpatine cannot risk under any circumstances. It makes sense for Palpatine to avoid touching the deception with a 10-meter pole.

So, even if Palpatine came up with the overall fake assassination plot, the actual emotional impact of the deception has to come from Obi-Wan's decision to deceive Anakin, something which Palpatine has no way of predicting!

So...what's left? I guess Anakin does face off against Dooku at the end of the arc, but he's faced off against him before and will face off against him later under much less convoluted circumstances!

This whole plan makes no sense from Palpatine's angle. It relies too much on variables that he can't control, and the actual result of the arc depends on Obi-Wan making a truly idiotic decision. Without that, there is no deception and thus no rift between the Jedi and Anakin.

My theory is that he got bored playing 3-D chess against himself and arranged the kidnapping plot to spice up his week.

Also, and this is a minor thing, but Palpatine really is banking on the Jedi to save him here. What was his plan if the bounty hunters just decide to ransom him themselves? He can't escape, because then the Jedi will come around asking questions about these bounty hunters that have lightsaber wounds and look like they were fried with evil lightning. If the Jedi failed to rescue him, would he just have to stew in silence as these powerless lowlifes keep him, the greatest Sith Lord in a millennium, trapped in some basement somewhere? This isn't really a big problem, but I do find it funny to thing about. If this did happen it would be peak comedy.

But then again, his plan in RotS involved hoping that Anakin could save him from the Invisible Hand, and we all saw how that nearly went. (Palpatine absolutely shitting himself in the background as Jedi Dumb & Dumber try to land half a ship without getting them all killed is the funniest thing in all of Star Wars.)

4. Why do we even need to deceive Anakin, again?

So the given reason for Anakin's deception is that Anakin's public, emotional reaction to Obi-Wan's death "sold the sniper".

OK, but did it? Hardeen booked it the moment he shot Obi-Wan, so he only could have seen Anakin's reaction to Obi-Wan getting shot. By the time Anakin reacts to Obi-Wan's death, Hardeen is long gone, and I don't see any news-cams that could have captured his reaction to that.

And why would Obi-Wan assume that the sniper would stick around long enough to see Anakin's reaction? Surely, anyone faced with the wrath of a pissed-off Anakin would hightail it in the opposite direction because, ya know, they want to live? Why would you think that, Obi-Wan?

And what is the point of "selling" the assassination to Hardeen anyway? Sure, Hardeen drunkenly brags about killing Obi-Wan in the bar, but he's not exactly gonna go around telling everybody about how he didn't kill a Jedi. And if you need people to see Hardeen boasting about killing Obi-Wan, just have Obi-Wan do it as Hardeen. There's no reason that "selling the sniper" is even necessary.

Also, remember, this whole thing would be unnecessary if the Jedi just hired Hardeen to knowingly fake the assassination in the first place. Just include in the contract that Hardeen has to brag about it to convince the crowd. (Or have Obi-Wan do it.)

OMFG, this arc is in shambles.

I guess if the goal was to sell the Separatists on the assassination, and the assassination was staged in a public place with lots of cameras it might make sense (assuming, again, that the Jedi Council hired Hardeen to fake the shooting so they don't accidentally kill Obi-Wan), although again I ask why Obi-Wan couldn't just pretend to stay in the Jedi Temple for a few weeks, but whatever.

But, they didn't go with the Separatist thing, so no dice.

Conclusion

Oh Force, this arc has more holes in it than a colander. Everyone here is a fucking idiot and they all deserved to die, whether at the hands of the clones, Anakin, or Anakin throwing them down a giant shaft.

Don't revisit your favorite childhood media, it might just turn out to be bad.

Why did you do this to me, Dave Filoni? Why did you kill my childhood?

[skeletons-eat]

Y'all depression is depressioning

[prequelsnet]

@prequelsnet prequels appreciation week: day 5 — found family

↳ The Disaster Lineage

[saphronethaleph]

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

[jjoelswatch]

clone wars au where jocasta 360 no scopes count dooku

[redstuffs-ig]

Quick tip for Star Wars modern au writers! If you're not sure how to use him in your story, write Grievous as Dooku's weird pet gecko for which Obi-Wan holds an immeasurable amount of contempt. Anakin just thought he'd be bigger.

[lualuadraw]

evil grandpa takes obi-wan off melida/daan

[riachuelowii]

[galactic-rhea]

probably the only instance ever anakin dares to talk back; as a kid dfsdfdfdsg

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[stealingpotatoes]

Imagine ghost Dooku's reaction to literally all of Rebels! And/or to each of your AU’s!

you guys come up with some random-ass ideas but i love it lets run with it

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