#venti the bitch (I love him)

[scaracoochies]

‘Tis the season!

Summary: A short series of genshin characters & reader doing holiday activities

Category: Fluff

Reader: Gender Neutral

AN: Hello Readers! >:) I’m gonna be honest, I had intentions to upload this on Christmas but the holidays have been pretty hectic (as they normally are) so lets just pretend that it’s still Christmas and all of you are in your comfy pajamas drinking hot coco and eating cookies by the fire and shit. Enjoy >:D

Also I will be adding to this series as I have more unfinished ideas so expect other characters very soon!

❅ Venti ~ Christmas Caroling

"Come on out Reader, I'm sure you look magnificent as ever! ...Heh, not to mention we're already late."

You stomped out of your room in a ridiculous elf costume, staring down at your overly optimistic companion. Venti put his hand on his chin while looking your frame up and down.

"I'll never forgive you for this." Venti silently dismissed your comment and continued to inspect your new look.

"See, it's not that bad! Actually, it turned out a lot better on you than I originally thought!" Venti grinned while scratching the back of his head, a clear attempt to uplift your spirits.

"Venti, I look STUPID. These oversized ears are corny as hell and I can't feel my toes in these shoes- Also why are the reds two different shades?!" you groaned in agony. You almost started to laugh at how humorous this disaster of a costume looked. "And you look so much better than me- Venti, I never agreed to this! I said I would help you FIND a replacement. Not BE it!"

Venti spoke up after letting you blow off some frustration, making sure to choose his next words carefully.

"But why waste time finding a replacement when the best option is sitting right here! I swear to Barbatos that I will make this an enjoyable experience for you." Venti held his hand over his heart dramatically.

You didn't feel any better in the slightest. The costume fit your body awkwardly and the sheer idea of standing out in the cold singing as Santa's gremlin was less than ideal.

You walked away from Venti to go sit in a corner and sulk, causing him to sigh at another failed attempt. He had to think fast if you both were going to make it there and going without you when he had already promised everyone you'd be there was not within his plan.

Then suddenly, Venti perked up with a great idea in mind. He quickly changed his tone to one of defeat.

"Alright then. I suppose if you truly don't wish to go, it is understandable. And the poor Ragnvindr brothers just seemed so excited to see you there. Guess I've got to break the bad news to them." Venti said with a mischievous smile.

Though his voice appeared remorseful, his face on the other hand did not. Your back was facing him and even you could see through his farce.

"Ugh, Fine. You win."

"Perfect! We should be on our-" you stopped Venti before he could celebrate too much. "Not so fast." you stood up and faced him, completely serious.

Venti turned and looked at you in confusion, his bright eyes laced with concern.

"Huh, what's wrong now?"

"I'll go but only under one condition." A devious smirk grew on your face as the suspense slowly brought Venti’s breathing to a halt. Though you knew it would need some adjusting, you rather go as Santa than his dumb elf.

"We switch costumes of course."

❅ Diluc ~ Making Hot Coco

You hopped down off of the stool and looked back up at your work. A smile of satisfaction slowly spreading across your face.

"There! That’s the last of it." You had just finished your shift at the Angel Share cafe and had offered to stay behind to help finish decorating the place. You loved working here, often coming here even in your free time to enjoy the cozy atmosphere. Not to mention it appeared even more magical during this time of year.

Diluc gently sat the glass he was drying down on the counter and walked over to your side. You watched as Diluc skimmed over the final result.

"Hmm, Nice!" He said flashing you a warm smile. "Thank you again for the help. I should have you assist with decorating more often."

"Oh stop- you flatter me," you confessed. "...Please, keep going." Diluc rolled his eyes in amusement, dismissing your blatant honesty to be nothing more than a mere joke.

"Here, let me treat you to a cup of hot chocolate before you leave for the night. I've been testing out a new recipe and I figured you’d be just the right person to try it out. If you have the spare time, that is."

Diluc was always so gentle and inviting with his words- you couldn't help but notice that his features were far more relaxed now then throughout the usual shift hours. The thought of spending time alone with Diluc enticed you to stay, and without a second thought you said-

"Well who would I be to turn down a free drink?"

...

You followed Diluc to the main counter and pulled out a chair. He then began to gather all of the needed ingredients and placed them off to the side one by one.

"Hey Diluc?”

"Yes?" The barista whipped his head around at the sound of his name. Diluc currently had his hair in a signature high ponytail and with every move, it swayed along his broad shoulders.

"Is there anything else you think you'll need help with tomorrow? I could certainly use the free hot chocolate more often." you teased, earning a low chuckle from the barista. You brought your arm to rest on the counter, watching patiently as Diluc prepared your drink.

"No need. You're welcome to sit down for a drink anytime. I actually quite enjoy the company." His kindness made your smile grow even bigger.

The two of you chatted in the meantime until Diluc was finished. It didn't take long of course as it was just hot chocolate. Holding up a bottle of whip cream for you to see, Diluc asked if you would like any.

You nodded your head eagerly. "Oh, of course."

After spraying on a decent amount of whip cream, Diluc placed your drink before you.

"I made sure to use milk so it shouldn't be too hot to drink. But I suppose you'll be able to determine that for yourself." he said lowly. Taking a step back, Diluc watched in anticipation as you cautiously picked up the mug. You brought it to your lips, the steam and warmth from the cup bringing heat to your hands and face instantly. The very moment the warm liquid slipped past your lips you were immediately filled with the sweet taste of whip cream and a distinct blend of cinnamon & spice. You hummed in satisfaction at the taste.

"How is it?" Diluc asked. It was safe to say that your reaction was telling enough. You hesitated as you pondered your answer.

"Eh, I had better."

Diluc froze with his lips parted slightly. The shop quickly became even more silent then before.

You took another sip before placing the mug back down. "I'm just messing with you- It’s the best I ever had!" You exclaimed, shooting him a toothy grin. "You’ve got to add this to the menu, immediately!"

Diluc let out the breathe he was holding and placed a hand on his hip. "Please, don’t scare me like that."

[wwindblumee]

Have doth found thyne bitches?

Not yet, my liege.

[cupidkyu]

✧ﾟ･: A GOOD PET,OR A DISOBEDIENT ONE? which does he prefer?

REQUESTED

a/n: kinda disappeared srry guys 🧍🏻I promise I will try 2 make moree,,but yea an anonymous requested me with genshin/star rail men. . . but u can imagine it with any charc u like

sub!gn!reader x dom!male!charc

OBEDIENT . men who likes it when you're behaving right, being the good boy/girl you are. constantly praising and just slamming into your sweet spot as a reward. don't fight back, don't backtalk,all of that will just get you in trouble! he doesn't wanna punish a sweet thing like you. the way you clench around his cock when he's deep inside you, intertwining fingers with him.

your thighs are trembling and he's cooeing sweetly to you, whispering sweet nothings into your ears,you know he loves how angelic you look,he just can't resist you. you just lay there and take it like the good cockwhore you were for him,and just for him.

“you take me in so well, darling.. just a little more, yeah? you can? hngh—.. wouldn't wanna waste a single drop of you.”

jingyuan,cyno, neuvillette,heizou, aether,dan heng,boothill,,jiaoqiu,welt, zhongli,scaramouche,ayato,your faves

DIRTY BITCH . men who likes it when you're being bratty,who likes it when you're whining and complaining about him not giving you attention. he'd pretend to get annoyed and sigh at your dumb rambling. you're tugging on his sleeve as an attempt for him to shift his focus towards you,but he doesn't budge,no he doesn't. he wants you to act more and more disobedient so when he finally snaps,he can take it all out on you.

he's purposefully ignoring that specific spot, watching you struggle and insulting him. telling him to hurry up already. but once he does? oh dear..he's going crazy,fucking you like there's no tomorrow. he's looking down at you,his nails digging deep into your hips, reducing you to a whimpering and messy slut. your eyes roll back at the pace he's going,your waist,shoulders, anywhere he can get his mouth on bruised with hickies,he's smug about it too.

“whats wrong,baby? I know you can take it. for me,okay? mhmm..~ you feel so warm around me,you're so pathetic..”

tighnari,blade,wanderer, childe, venti,pantalone,kinich,wriothesley,your faves

[strwbryien]

｢ ᝰ.ᐟ entry 02: ARE YOU ALRIGHT?⭑.ᐟ ｣

kunikuzushi dropped his phone in shock. what do you mean kumi is [name]?! this has to be some sick joke, right? there's no way they're the same person... right? but it was obvious. he could recognize that (pretty) face anywhere—the face that made him fall in love like a high school kid.

“...ni... kuni! KUNI!” venti’s voice snapped him out of his daze.

“WHAT?!” he shouted.

“i've been calling you since i got here! what happened to you? you're so spaced out you even dropped your phone!” the braided boy exclaimed.

“it's none of your damn business. why are you here anyway?” kunikuzushi scowled. he probably came just to annoy him, as always. despite being friends for years, venti still gets on his nerves sometimes.

“i'm here to annoy you!” i fucking knew it, kunikuzushi thought bitterly.

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synopsis:

IN WHICH—you, although faceless, are a very famous streamer known as KUMI. you were streaming as usual, playing games and interacting with fans. but when you're about to exit the stream, you accidentally pressed the wrong button that led to you opening your cam and showing your whole face to your audience. this wasn't supposed to happen, no ! so you panicked and quickly ended the stream. numerous screenshots circulated on twitter, which broke both the fans and the internet. this reached a certain someone, SCARAMOUCHE, your rival in streaming. when the said boy saw the trending photo, he almost fell off his gaming chair. because—lo and behold! KUMI was actually [name]?! now who is this [name] in his life, if you may ask? she's the girl that scaramouche has been admiring from afar in real life! quite shocking, right? have i told you that he’s also been sending you anonymous love letters? oh well...

notes ᝰ.ᐟ

— i apologize for the wait! school has been a bitch to me (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) — ajax joined the fandom at the right time lolol

— the # is literally kumi, kumi, kumi, then scaramouche LMFAO — taglist are still open! if you wanna be added/removed, please lmk! — thank you for reading as always!

ꪆৎ taglist

(if ur @ is not in bold letters, it means that i can't tag you)

@imnotyizhuo @simonisferal @lovelypadisarah @justkira-143 @yourfavoritefreakyhan @yuminako @035814 @lily-lmao @kazufavor @shutingstar @squigglewigglewoo @lxkeeeee @blvdmrcnry @tazuduck @wth121 @lloovvv @lovemiyae @sketcheeee @minhosprettywife @3lectraheart @akarisuzuk1 @danhenglovebot @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @kinanahana @najaemism @heusalettle @automaticpatroltragedy @kyon-cherri @featuredtofu @tamikahoshiko @lalalaloveallmydays @musings-of-miss-j @jayzioxx @ilxandra @kleeboomed @lazy-sanns @saechiro @vixialuvs @shyentsmissingink @poemzcheng @extherial @bananasquash @dxrling-xing @rifran

[starchaserwrites]

@jegulus-microfic / february 18: pet / word count: 572 cw: foul language and violent behavior

James doesn't easily get annoyed, but his biggest pet peeve is people who do not say hello when they arrive at a place, so every time it's his turn to be in charge of the till at the cafe where he works, he struggles to control the twitch in his eye. When the next customer only mutters "venti iced americano, hurry" without even looking up from his phone and throws the money on the counter, he just puts on his best customer service smile and clenches his fists.

Not even five minutes have passed since the order was placed but the man in his early forties is tapping his fingers loudly on the delivery counter and alternating between staring at his watch and at James insistently. Fortunately, there aren't too many customers at this time of day, so Lily and Mary don't take too long to get the man's order ready.

"Is it too fucking hard to make a good fucking drink? I asked you for iced and this is lukewarm!" says the man in a voice loud enough to silence the café that was previously echoing with the soft conversations of customers.

Under normal circumstances James would probably have explained that all that needs to be done to make the drink colder is simply to stir it, but putting on his best smile he offers a "Oh, sorry about that. We'll redo it!" the customer is always right and that shit, right?

So when the drink is handed to him for the second time and the man literally spits the sip he took on Mary, James is ready for a confrontation.

"Are you an idiot or some kind of mentally retarded? This doesn't taste like fucking anything! You bunch of morons were dropped on your heads when you were babies. And you pair of bitches..."

Just as James is about to leap over the counter and punch this asshole, the man is pushed and cornered against the wall in the blink of an eye.

"Can you shut the fuck up?" says Regulus, one of the regulars who comes almost every day after work, shaking the man by the collar of his shirt with his ringed hands. And if James always notices how he sits at the table closest to the counter, and they constantly exchange glances it's nobody's business.

"But-"

"I don't give a shit, you've been throwing a tantrum this whole time and I won't take it anymore so get the fuck out of here this very second or I'm going to shove what's left of your coffee so deep up your ass to see if you can finally taste it." Regulus continues before pushing him against the wall one last time and letting him go.

The lovely customer starts to walk slowly towards the exit, but halfway there he turns around as if to say something.

"I promise they'll be finding your remains for the next four months if you don't walk out that door now," the silver-eyed man says before the forty-year-old can add anything else. The thing is, he says it so menacingly, like he really means it, that James feels weak in the knees.

Physical or verbal violence isn't supposed to be attractive, but this may have awakened something in James.

So please, no one judge him when a few hours later he ends up tangled in his bed from head to toe with Regulus.

[aeferkssr]

I PICTURE YOU WITH OTHER GUYS (THEN THROW UP ON THE STREET)

6reeze boys at the beach, but somone looks to interrupt your beach day. but, how could he blame them when you look like an angel?

established relationship. gender neutral reader. reader is wearing a swimsuit (not specified what type, ur just in swinwear).

masterlist.

CONFIRMS THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HIS, WHETHER SUBTLY OR NOT

maybe he shouldn't of left you alone even if it was for a minute or two, he should of brought you with him to get lunch instead of taking your order for you.

if you were right beside him, you wouldn't be swarmed with admirers right now.

unfortunately, he can't blame them. your beauty fails to compare to anything he has seen over countless journeys, your charm could never be accurately described, even with his every growing dictionary.

he looks over to your figure in the distance, the swimsuit you were wearing enhancing your allure unreasonably further. your suitor is leaning on their hand that is placed behind you while you keep your hands to yourself.

knowing you, you're probably trying to reject their advances, but because he has witnessed a fair share of pompous people, they insist on getting some sort of recognition. his eyebrow twitching slightly.

was he jealous?

a miniscule amount, he reasons.

miniscule enough for him to wade the sea water to interrupt the conversation, miniscule enough to immediately wrap his hand around your waist and kiss your temple, miniscule enough to feign innocence as you ask who you are talking to.

miniscule enough to passive aggression.

"i think you should go back on the beach, bud. your brain seems a bit fried if you think you can try and get what's not yours."

⸺ aether, kazuha

FUTURE SUITORS NEED TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU COME WITH SOME EXTRA BAGGAGE, HIM.

anyone would have to be both blind and stupid to not notice you two were together. he clung onto you like a starfish on a rock. he was basically hanging off of you, his height definitely helping with that.

he'll never admit why, though. he definitely did NOT overthink as soon as he saw you in the swimsuit how everyone on the beach would swarm towards you if he left you alone for even a minute.

you'd probably call him overprotective. he'd call it being smart.

just look at you, even he's surprised that you two are dating. you're absolutely stunning. the way that the sun bounces off of your skin (the same skin that goes oh so well with other colours of your suit) drives him near mad.

but maybe his clinginess isn't enough. he can sense all the states directed towards the both of you. most of them being eyes scrunched by the smiles of seeing young love, while the others look only at you. whether out of jealousy, or out of desire he couldn't care enough.

actually, it amuses him to the point where he chuckles to himself.

if you ask him about the mischievous grin on his face (a grin you know too well, unfortunately), he simply brushes it off before smooshing your face and kissing you all over.

"you look so *smooch* beautiful *smooch* love. gods, how i *smooch* love calling *smooch* you *smooch* mine~."

⸺ heizou, venti

WANDERING GAZES DON'T STAY FOR LONG, SINCE HIS GAVE IS ENOUGH FOR THEM TO RETREAT

anyone would have to be both blind and stupid to not Notice you two were together ( ii ). not because of how he clung onto you, it was how his face (an extreme case of resting bitch face) lightens as soon as your eyes meet.

maybe that was the guy you were talking to right now...

the only word your boyfriend could use to describe him is... dunce. of course, you were a bit nicer with his description. he was more like a himbo.

large, very, very large. the only reason why he didn't dismiss him immediately is because he stood at the perfect angle to block the sun from your easily sunburnt boyfriend.

even his smile was large. his teeth bore wide as he proudly flexed his physique, trying to show off on your so-called companion.

you try to explain how this isn't just a companion but /your/ companion he laughs and says how he probably has a friend that would suit him well.

gods, he was dense as a brick.

thankfully, it took one good look from your boyfriend at the jock for him to get the hint. when it finally hit him, he hurried away with his ears hung low.

"what? you feel bad for him? tch, nonsense. he was as dumb as he was big. plus, you're mine, and only mine..."

⸺ wanderer, xiao

shout out to addie for helping with the title, i'm so sleepy rn,,,

© aeferkssr.

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ���

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO��)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

[604to647]

Safest with You - Ch. 1 (The Coffeeshop)

1.4K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: A handsome stranger helps you out with an unfortunate situation at the coffeeshop before work.

Warnings: None? I guess some jerk yells at a cute old lady 😢 so a wee bit of protective Din as well. (No smut, just a meet cute! Gonna be a slow burn, folks!)

A/N: Finally, I'm doing it! This is the start of the Modern AU I'm trying to build; Din is a retired mob enforcer for the Fett family, but they still call him in periodically when they need his strategic know how and/or extra muscle. He never says no - they're his family 🥹 For this meet cute, he's on a job downtown; I say they're in the financial district because I imagine Reader working in a corporate office with a finance related job she loves (she has a methodical mind!), but it’s not really important so you can imagine any office job 😊. There's no implied age gap, so I consider her as either well established or rising in her career. In other words, she's an independent woman and don't need no man 😂

Also I always use this super cute heart divider by @saradika (thank you!)

Series Masterlist

It’s crazy busy in this coffee shop.  Not unexpected of course; the local chain has some of the best coffee in the city, and this particular location is its only one in the downtown financial district.  Everyone, including yourself, was here to get their caffeine fix before heading into the office for the day.

Well, not everyone, you smile to yourself.  The little old lady in front of you doesn’t seem to be in any rush at all; you overhear her ordering her cappuccino in a ‘for here’ mug and a slice of coffee cake “as a treat”, and you’re glad someone, at least, will be having a nice leisurely morning.  When she’s finished at the till, you order and pay for your latte, then make your way to the waiting area where several other patrons are awaiting their orders.

“Ice Quad Espresso in a Venti cup, extra ice and six shots!”

Whoa. That’s a drink, you chuckle to yourself.  Someone must be preparing for a whole ass day.  You look up to see who might collect that caffeine bomb, and can’t help but admire the tall, broad-shouldered stranger who’s flashing the barista a devastatingly handsome smile and a nod of thanks.  Maybe it’s your own lack of caffeine, but you might be gawking a little at the way his wavy dark hair is peppered with grey (a few stray curls seem to stick out in the cutest way possible) and start to think it would be soft to run your hands through.  The fluffy hair matches nicely with his salt and pepper facial hair, neat but not perfectly trimmed, which for some reason you think suits him – he doesn’t look like he has to try very hard to look so adorable.  You’re snapped out of your daze when three more orders are called out in rapid succession, including your own and the little old lady’s.  Both of you, as well as a thin man in an ill-fitting grey suit approach the coffee bar to collect your drinks.  You were the closest, so you reach the counter first, collect your latte and step back to allow room for the others.  The thin man, however, apparently can’t wait and rushes forward to try and push past the old lady, just as she is turning around to look for a seat.  You watch in horror as they crash directly into each other and the old lady’s porcelain mug spills the entirety of its contents on the man before falling to the ground and shattering.  Shocked by the sudden impact, the thin man then flails out his arms, knocking both the old lady and her plate off balance, the latter slipping from her grasp and breaks on the ground as well.  Rushing forward, you help steady the old lady with one hand on her back and letting her grip your other arm.  Thankfully, you’re able to hold her steady and not drop your own drink.  “Are you okay?”, you ask.  Shaking a bit, the old lady nods, “Yes, dear.”

“You fucking bitch!”

Shocked, you look up and see the thin man glaring at the old lady while using his free hand to uselessly try and brush away the coffee that is dripping down the front of his suit jacket.  From the corner of your eye, you see the profile of the handsome Quad Ice man as he takes one step forward to intervene, but you beat him to the punch. “Excuse you?  You don’t fucking talk to her like that!”, you say with a bite to your tone.  How dare this effing guy?

“Look at this fucking mess!  She ruined my suit!”

“I’m sor-”, you hear the old lady start to say, so you place a reassuring hand on her arm, hopefully conveying that she doesn’t have to apologize to this neanderthal.  Stepping between the two of them, you look directly at the jerk and extend an accusing finger in his direction, “It was an accident! Which wouldn’t have happened if you had just waited your turn.”

“I’m in a hurry!  Some of us have very important meetings to get to.  And now the meeting is completely ruined because of this fucking mess!”

This guy.  You roll your eyes.  “If the people you work with don’t respect you because of a little bit of coffee on your clothes then you have much bigger problems.” And with that, you’re done with him, turning and crouching down to help the old lady who has unnecessarily started to try and clean the mess. 

Your back is turned, so you don’t know if the thin man tried to approach or if he had started to say something, but you hear a deep, rich voice from above say with quiet authority, “You owe both these women an apology.”  Looking up, you see the the imposing figure of the Quad Ice stranger standing over you and the old lady, almost protectively, shielding you both from the thin man’s view.  The hand not holding his crazy drink order is clenched in a tight fist; his hands are huge and you can see a scars of varying sizes and age littered over his knuckles. You know without a doubt that this man knows how to fight.  There’s a energy radiating from the man towering above you; you don’t know how to explain it, but it doesn’t feel dangerous?  Instead, it feels warm and you instinctively know you’re safer having him there. 

Regardless, you don’t want this cute old lady’s morning ruined any further so you decide it’s better to diffuse.  Touching his clenched fist and smiling softly when you have Quad Ice’s attention, you let him know to let it go, “It’s really okay.  Do you mind grabbing me a few napkins?”  His gaze down on you is soft, yet still protective; however, he takes his cue from your expression and lets the thin man leave, before bringing you a stack of paper napkins and squatting down to help.

“You shouldn’t have to help, dear.”

You give the old lady’s arm a gentle squeeze to wave off her concern, and you and Quad Ice start carefully picking up pieces of porcelain and putting down napkins to soak up the spilled coffee.  You reach over and put your hand gently over his, “Careful, it’s sharp.”  He gives you a smile and nods. 

Finally, a staff member comes over with a mop and lets the three of you know you don’t need to clean up any more and gives thanks.

As Quad Ice goes to throw away the porcelain pieces you’ve been collecting in a napkin, the old lady exclaims, “Oh no!  My dear, I got you too!”  You look down and see that you do indeed have a giant coffee stain near the hem of your skirt.  Oops! You don’t want her to feel bad though, “Oh, it’s okay!  I've done worse.  Don’t worry, I have a very friendly dry cleaner.”  You try your best let her know you’re not bothered, but the old lady still looks devastated.

“Come now, let’s make sure you get your morning treat.”  To distract her, you gently steer the old lady back to the till and order another cappuccino and coffee cake for her.  You absolutely insist on paying, hoping to help make up for the terrible morning she’s had so far.  She tries to argue, but the kind barista lets you both know it’s on the house and then that’s that.  After you've walked the old lady to the waiting area, you look at your phone, and realize you need to leave if you’re going to make the first meeting of your day, “Here’s where I have to leave you!  I hope your day gets much better from here.”

The old lady gives you her sincerest thanks, but you’re still somewhat reluctant to leave her.  From behind you, a familiar voice says in a comforting tone, “I’ll make sure she’s okay.”  You turn around to see that Quad Ice hasn’t left and is giving you a warm smile, as if he knows how worried you still are and wants to put your mind at ease.  The little old lady is now nodding reassuringly at you as well, and with that, you give the handsome stranger’s forearm a light squeeze as a thanks and you say good bye to them both.

---

As you take your first sip of coffee while sitting down to your meeting, you can’t help but recall the stranger’s deep chocolate brown eyes and the warmth they exuded in that last look he gave you and you wish you at least knew his name.

[mitsurismistress]

How they sleep with you

(Anemo Addition)

Venti

Drunken cuddles

Will never argue a quick nap

Look, the people don’t need him anymore

But you do <3

In his eyes at least

If he’s feeling nice, he’ll shower anyway all the alcohol and dirt from sitting in trees

But that’s rare

Sleeps on top of you, cuddling into your neck and chest

Giggles for days

Jean

It takes physically pulling her away to get her to sleep

You may have had to bride Lisa once or twice to make a melatonin of sorts

She doesn’t need to know that though

Usually she just passes out and you need to change her and make sure she takes care of herself at least a little

Though in the morning, you’ll wake up to her cuddled into your side

So at least she’s got that going for her

Please help her

Sucrose

It took you telling her months into dating she could even come into your room

She’s adorable though

Wears big nightgowns and makes you two tea for bed

She even lets you braid her hair before going to sleep

She tries to stay as as far away from you as possible

Not because she hates you

But because she thinks you hate her

You need to initiate the cuddles

And she will be the biggest cuddler ever

Clings to your side desperately

We love her though

Kiss her forehead

Xianyun

Doesn’t sleep

Doesn’t want to sleep

Wont sleep

But she will sit next to you

“You humans are so weird. Closing your eyes for hours just to rest. One would never let one’s body become so weak. In fact, one has made a device just for th-“

Yapper

She talks you to sleep

Though we love her, she’s an idiot

Sometimes will tinker with something and sit next to you on the bed

You cuddle her legs when she does that

Then she just pets your head and out her things away

“You humans are so strange…but I suppose that’s why one loves you.”

Xiao

Stares

Similarly, doesn’t sleep

But he is fascinated by you

Sometimes you’ll wake up and he’s just staring at you

If you try and cuddle him, he will go stiff (both ways) and just stares at the ceiling

Though now, when it gets to the time you usually sleep he will give you the look

Like “can we do the arms thing”

Yes Xiao. Yes we can

He hates being far away from you, so he basically forced you to basically live in the inn

Sometimes he will even bring you treats in the mornings

Kazuha

A dear

Reads you poems

Also an absolute flirt

He will recite a poem and rub up your sides

Mean about it too

Wont do anything about it

“It’s bed time, doll.”

He also brings you a bunch of pretty nightgowns from wherever he goes

He’s a sucker for them

Nights get rocky though

The boat swaying and the waves

It’s rough

He can’t get his hands off you though

His hands are always on you

Just to make sure you’re safe

Heizou

Similar to Kazuha

But he’s worse

He will be the big spoon and nip at the back of your neck

Whispering things that come to his mind as he rubs his hands on your tummy

Loves to lick your neck too

If he can stay up all night just touching you and kissing you while you sleep

He would

Usually falls asleep groping you in some way

Wakes up groping you in another way

Little bitch

Wanderer

Similar to Xianyun

He just sits there and lets you sleep

Sometimes he will leave for a while and buy you gifts

But he also likes to just stay with you

Hates the night now because all you do is snooze

“Humans…so weak…so vulnerable. I could kill you right now”

Again

Yaps

Though unlike Xianyun, he will actually lay down and hold you if you ask nicely

He likes the sound of your heart beat

So when you sleep, he will rest his head on your chest and just

Listen

He then holds you closely and just inhales your scent

Got the ability to smell just for you

Faruzan

I hate Faruzan

But I’ll try and do her Justice for you simps

She will tell you stories about her life while you sleep

Sometimes she rests on your chest

Sometimes (most of the time) you rest on hers

“I don’t need to sleep! Do you know how many years I’ve been alive and haven’t slept! Well I’ll let you know that-!”

Asleep before you

She does looks nice with her hair down

Lets you play with it

Also the last one to wake up

She sleeps like a starfish

Somehow under you now

Though she does have an ego

It goes away at night

It’s sweet

[chysalxsm]

Genshin men that love big boobies

Guess which bitch is back? ME. I need some more big titty content so I made it myself cause girl there are almost none😔. Anyways I hope you enjoy it!!

Characters: Al-haitham, Childe, Xiao, Itto, Scaramouche, Venti, Albedo and afab/fem!reader

Cw: sexual thoughts about reader, boobjob, pervet!Childe;Venti and Albedo, tit slapping, dom/sub reader and character, groping, nipple play, mention of lactation (I think it's called that but I'm not sure? Pls correct me in the comments!), Handjob, nipple clamps and hickeys.

Let me know if I forgot anything!

Al-haitham:

Not gonna lie, I actually also can see him liking ass and thighs so the full package but I just have a feeling that he loves big boobs the most. They are very soft and comfortable for him to lay his head down, but not only for that. He would never admit that he has sinful thoughts of fucking your tits, sliding his dick in and out your soft flesh while holding them close for his pleasure. It would hurt his pride too much so whenever he jerks off to the thought of you his thoughts always wander to your chest.

Childe:

Childe LOVES big boobies and you can't change my mind. Man just wants to smother his face into them 24/7. Is a pervert to. He will always find a opportunity to look down at your chest when you wear a low cut shirt. He often grope your tits without any shame, even if you guys are public, he just loves them so much. Not only will he leave marks on your chest everytime, but also wouldn't mind sucking on your nipples for hours. It's a plus point if their sensitive too, only adds to the fun for the both of you. If your nipples are sensitive then he will try to make you cum from only playing with them and slapping them. He would lick, bite, flick, slap and suck on them till their swollen and too sensitive. Would also fuck your tits for his pleasure. If he's feeling soft or had a bad day, then he just wants to cuddle with you, his head laying on your chest while you stroke his hair.

Xiao:

Well he always knew that he liked boobs, but would never admit it, well at least not to others but you. He has a obsession with cumming on your chest. Just the way his thick cum runs down slowly your tits makes him crazy. He also loves it to palm at your chest, play with your nipples while you ride him. Makes him cum faster than he would like.

Itto:

My man likes ass and tits. He just loves the plush feeling of them. Loves cuddling with you, no matter if your head lays on his chest or the other way around. He LOVES it when you ride him and your tits bounce up and down, the sight is just so sexy for him. Also wants to fuck your tits till their smeared with his cum. He would even be that nasty and slap his pre-cummed tip on your nipples.

Scaramouche:

Y'all can't tell me nothing, this man loves big boobs. Sometimes he just want to get babied, even if he's ashamed to admit it. If he's rather submissive on that day, he would love to just suck on your nipples. If you lactate then it's a plus! Would spent hours doing just that and don't forget to call him your good boy while you jerk him off! If he's feeling dominant though then be prepared for him to put nipple clamps on you, slap your tits, twist your nipples, leave bite marks and hickeys all over there. He would be so proud the day after!

Venti:

Venti enjoys every boob size as long if there's something. Loves yours cause they remind him of a comfortable pillow. Loves to use his anemo vision to pull up your shirt and flash your tits to him on 'accident'. He's such a perv and won't even hide it. ALWAYS stares at your chest. If you talk, argue, have sex, etc. his eyes would always wander lower till he's greeted with your tits. Gropes them at random times too. When he's bored, you cuddle or talk. You're not even surprised anymore and just got used to it.

Albedo:

He's just a tit lover, no explanation needed. Stares at them when you don't notice him. Touches them 'accidently' and he's also such a slick fuck with it. Apologize and you always forgive him cause it was just an accident right? Well, no it wasn't and will never be. You're just too dumb to notice. So, when he has you where he always wanted you, Albedo is just lapping up at your nipples and massaging the other one. Will leave hickeys all over the place till you cry out that he should finally fuck you.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Pumpkin Sugar Spice (Epilogue)

Raphael x Fem!Reader - Established Relationship

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

Warnings: Smut

Based on this ask by @gornackeaterofworlds

More of a question to expand on than a detailed request, but would raph help a teacher reader grade papers?? Would he get invested in gossip on the kids??

I was zoning out and somehow thought about elementary school teacher readers, coming back to the lair with papers to grade, Donnie getting angry over the lesson plans you have to use, etc. And then, like always, raph thoughts(I am unbelievably gushy to raph x lil sweet cheery readers) Being oh so sleepy tired but still having work to do. Grading papers, getting activities printed and cut, weekly plans. I'd like to imagine he helps to get you to sleep faster, all the while listening to the venty yapping about which kids are troublemakers

Special thanks to @the-cauldron-witch . The best brainstorming buddy I could honestly ask for. Could not have written this without you. 😁

You lay in bed waiting for him as he comes back in the room after a shower. You haven't stopped smiling since this afternoon. Your face hurts. You don't care.

You can still hear screaming and laughing outside from the evenings festivities, a perpetual orange and purple glow bleeding in front the window.

"Hey guess what?" You ask, laying back against the pillows as he tosses his towel over the back of your desk chair.

He looks up at you, he also hasn't stopped smiling, "What?"

"We're getting married," you say, somehow smiling even wider.

"Hell yeah we are," he says, grinning, walking over and crawling up over you from the foot of the bed.

He presses his face into your shoulder and breathes you in, leaving traces of himself on you. His mate. His.

Your nails scrape along the back of his neck, and he shivers against you. There is a deep rumble in his chest that you can feel within your own as he presses himself into you.

He kisses up your neck to just below your ear, before lifting his head and looking down at you, still reeling from the emotional insanity of the day.

He kisses you sweetly. "Thank you," he whispers

"For what?" You ask softly, as your hand caresses his cheek.

"For saying 'yes,'" he says, looking down at you as if you'd just given him the world. He was so happy. He hadn't planned for this, he hadn't even let himself hope for the longest time, but you said yes. On purpose. You said yes.

You grin up at him, "Well, I sure as hell wasn't gonna say no," you say, still grinning, "have you seen you?"

He chuckles, pressing his forehead against yours. "Yeah, that's kind of the problem," he says softly, the usual insecurities resurfacing, but trying to play them off.

"Hey," you say, placing your hands on his cheeks so that he lifts his head to look at you, "you are the most beautiful person I've ever known. Inside and out." You say, sincerely. He attempts to look away, but you gently bring his gaze back to you, "and as your future wife," you say, and neither of you can help smiling, " I plan to spend the rest of our lives proving it to you." You brush a thumb over his cheek, "I didn't do you a favor by saying yes, Raph," you say, honestly, "I said yes because I'm a selfish bitch, and I don't want to share you with anyone, ever." He can't help but laugh, and you grin, "I know what I got," you say with sparkling eyes. "Now make love to me like we're getting married," you whisper, pulling him down into a kiss.

He presses his lips to yours, kissing you with promises of a future filled with so many more. Your hands run over the skipping stone scales of his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him into you.

He presses you hard into the mattress, deepening the kiss as your tongues move in a well practiced dance.

His mouth scorches a path down your chest, drawing an already hardened nub into his mouth and making you squirm and whine as he swirls his tongue around it.

His hand slides down to your waist, gripping you firmly as you writhe against him.

"I love you... so fucking much..." He says, kissing a path down your abdomen.

"I love you, too," you say grinning. You yelp, laughing as he bites the inside of your thigh, "Hey!"

He looks up at you from between your legs and gives you the lewdest smirk before diving in. You're laughter quickly dissolves into whimpers and gasps as he eats you like a man starved.

Licking a stripe up your cunt, he swirls his tongue around your clit, sucking gently, a moan tumbling from your lips. He loves your voice, and he loves making you sing like this. Just for him.

His hands slide up the back of your thighs, changing his angle and giving him better access to you, gripping you tightly as he fucks you with his tongue. It's not long before you're a trembling mess and when you're just reaching the precipice he stops and pulls away.

You whine, looking up at him desperately as he crawls up your body and smirks down at you.

"Bastard." You huff, trembling. He did that on purpose.

"What, you thought life with me was gonna be easy?" He asks.

Your eyes narrow, "Listen here, you little shi-AH!" You're cut off as he buries himself inside you, the delicious stretch around him triggering your orgasm. He grips the sheets under his hands, groaning as you pulse around him.

When he feels your body relax, he smirks as you look up at him incredulously. You seem about to say something, but before you can mouth off he grinds himself against you. Any past transgressions are immediately forgotten.

He moves with you in slow, strong thrusts, savoring every inch of you, breathing heavily into your ear as you move in counter to him. Together, you fall into a rhythm, perfected.

This is what he wants. This, for the rest of his life. You. He never imagined he'd live this long, let alone find something like this. You love him. For all his rough edges, you love him. And you want to continue loving him for the rest of your life.

" Never..." he rumbles into your ear, "the rest of our lives... Gods... just... just like this..." His grip tightens, his rhythm faltering, and you know he's getting close, too.

He churrs deeply and you shudder, feeling his tremors inside you. When his speed increases, your grip on him tightens, "Gods, Raphael..." you sigh, holding him tighter against you, "never stop making love to me..."

His hand slides under your thigh, gripping it tight and lifting your hips to reach the spot deep inside of you that makes you see stars.

Two. Three thrusts. And you are undone. Arching into him, you cry out as you tumble over the edge, nails biting into his shoulder as you drag him over with you. A blinding white love storms through and around you, crashing though pretense and insecurity and burning them to ash, leaving only the promise of the rest of your lives.

You come down, still holding each other tightly, neither wanting to let go.

Eventually, he lifts his head, smiling down at you with eyes filled with the deepest love. You match his gaze effortlessly.

Shuddering as he pulls himself from you, he kisses you sweetly on the shoulder, before standing up and leaving the room. He returns moments later with a warm washcloth, cleaning you up gently, kissing your thighs and telling you how beautiful you are, as you thank him and tell him how much you love him. He ditches the washcloth and grabs a bottle of water off of your desk, setting it on the nightstand, before rolling back into bed and wrapping himself around you.

You cuddle up to him and kiss him under his jaw. "Thank you..." you whisper sleepily.

"For what?" He asks, quietly

"For asking me to marry you," you say, trailing your fingers along the sensitive skin usually protected by his shell. He shivers and you smile.

He grins, "Well, I'd say 'anytime,' but it's really only something I can do once."

You roll your eyes and press yourself against him, settling in to your usual comfortable position and sighing contentedly. "Love you, Bruiser..."

"Love you too, Princess..." He murmurs as you feel him press a kiss into your hair.

You close your eyes, relaxing into him with a sigh. There is a lot of exciting work ahead, you remember helping April plan her wedding, but all of that would come later. For now, after the rollercoaster of a day, you both sink into a peaceful and well deserved rest, dreaming about a wedding neither of you ever imagined having.

...

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo

....

Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️ Fem!Reader)

[magicalink]

Don't bite the hand boob that feeds you!

(Art by @ bananakeki on twitter)

Contains: Scara x f!reader smut, period themes, polyamorous relationship, Scara x f!reader romance/fluff, Venti x f!reader x Xiao romance/fluff, domestic life themes.

It was late at night. The full moon was glowing in all its white glory in the middle of the night sky. But none of you could witness the beauty of its light because the window of your room was completely shut, like always. You were sleeping soundly, submerged in complete darkness.

But that was no problem for a naughty kitty who entered your room with only one objective in mind. He could see perfectly in the dark. So the inviting shape of your body laying on the bed, under the thin covers was visible to him.

Scara crawled silently up the bed, landing gracefully on top of the covers. He sneaked carefully past Venti and Xiao who were snoring peacefully at each side of you, embracing your arms with theirs and with their tails curled around your legs. You were sleeping face up in the center, your mouth wide open and your chest heaving temptingly. Just the way he loved.

You weren't bothered when he climbed you. You were far beyond used to catboys hungry for love landing on top of you in the middle of the night. So you didn't wake up when you felt his soft round paws on your stomach. Not even when they turned into a human body that decided to lay on top of you, despite his weight.

His claws turned into hands that reached for your neck to hug you. He nuzzled his face on your chest, delighting in your smell and warmth. Then they grew naughtier, slowly unbuttoning your nightshirt. He made sure to be soft and to purr just at the right frequency he knew never failed to seduce you, delicately kneading your skin.

He felt his pants tighten and his mouth water when he saw your boobs freed from your shirt. The nipples were so unusually hardened and reddened and pointy and inviting…so he dipped his head down to give them a nice suck…

SMACK!

A loud and dry noise was heard across the room followed a sharp shriek of pain.

"Fucking bitch!" Scaramouche bellowed, taking a desperate hand to his now reddened cheek. You had slapped his face as a reflex action so hard that you had pushed him back, leaving him sitting at the feet of the bed.

Then a hiss and a growl were heard and the sounds of cats fighting.

"How dare you call her like that!" You heard Xiao's voice in between animal snarls.

When Venti stretched his sleepy hand to turn on the nightstand lamp you could see Xiao and Scaramouche entangled in a fight. Scara was in his human form (but with his cute little cat ears sitting atop of his head) and Xiao had turned into full cat to jump down at his throat. He was trying to claw at him as Scara was desperately trying to throw him away.

"She slapped me!" Scara excused himself, pointing at you accusingly with one hand as he tried to get Xiao off him with the other.

Before Xiao could keep defending you, you exclaimed:

"You fucking bit my boobs!" You scolded him, shooting daggers at him with your furious eyes.

"No I didn't! I just sucked on them!" He replied, offended.

"And why the fuck would you do that to her while she's asleep?!" Xiao roared, biting on his wrist, pulling a scream out of Scara's mouth. "Give me a good reason not to fucking kill you!" He was fuming.

"We do it all the fucking time!" Scara shouted, shaking his hand to toss Xiao to the floor—on which he landed on his four paws obviously— and keep yelling at him."Because even if you don't like it, we have our own intimacy and that's part of it!" He exclaimed with an angry smile on his face, expecting him to get jealous.

Effectively, this made Xiao double furious so he took an impulse with his back paws against the carpet to jump right at his face. But before he could cling onto Scara, you catched him mid air by the scruff of the neck.

"It's okay, Xiao, leave him alone, go back to sleep." You told him as you cradled him in your arms for him to calm down.

"Buuut!" He protested. You silenced him with some caresses and a kiss to his fuzzy head.

"Don't worry, he had my permission, go back to sleep."

Scara was smiling smugly and just about to show him his tongue thinking he had won when you scolded him again.

"And you!" You leered at him. A tiny drop of sweat slid down his temple "I know you're used to doing that and I don't dislike it, but tonight it fucking hurt!" You exclaimed, putting Xiao back on his place beside you on the bed. He took back his humanoid form and covered his body with the blankets, accepting to resume sleeping but not before sulking for enough time.

"But I didn't do anything differe…" Scara tried to excuse himself again but you interrupted him.

"I'm on my period, you idiot!" You threw a pillow right at his face "My boobs are fucking sensitive!"

He stared at you for a second until he recovered from the hit on the face. Then he crawled towards you and dared to pull the covers to look between your legs. He discovered your pretty panties he loved yanking away so much were stuffed with a pad.

"Oh, you're bleeding again…" he made the brilliant observation once the smell of blood reached his sensitive nose.

Your eye twitched in disbelief. He simply couldn't be that stupid, could he? Fortunately, Xiao spoke for you:

"Maybe if you had been here taking care of her instead of leaving to wander the city you would have known!" He grunted, showing him his fangs. You took Xiao's side in this one, and you showed him by holding his hand. He was totally right, after all! 

This had been a painful period and all of your boyfriends had taken care of you, even Kazuha who was always out! All except for Scara!

"Maybe if you were here you would have known her belly hurts and you would've comforted her instead of touching her sensitive boobs." Venti added salt to the wound with a malicious smile as he caressed your tummy with a warm hand, hoping to ease the pain.

Scara gulped, trying to come up with something smart to say. You were looking at him with a disapproving stare and your arms were now crossed over your precious tits he was so hungry for.

"You probably just came back for some sex." You sentenced, looking away from him, feigning disinterest "Well I'm not available at the moment so you can come back next week for it."

He huffed. You were so unfair with him! His little heart stung in his chest when you said that.

"Y-you!" He was barely able to articulate, his face completely flushed "How dare you…what gives you the right to say that about me??" 

You pointed down with your look and chin, right at his pants where there was still a notorious erection. He covered it with his hands.

"Y-you can't expect me to not get hard when you look so damn good in those pajamas!" He exclaimed, frowning.

You averted your gaze from him again, still pretending to be angry, but a little tint of red dusted your cheeks due to his confession.

"I didn't come for sex!" He kept his defense "Just wanted to suck on your tits and sleep! And-and- even if I HAD come for sex, which again, I DIDN'T, I can still take care of you!"

You turned your look back to him, observing him with squinted eyes.

"Well it's kinda late now, I'm fine already."

"Damn! You get mad at me because I'm away for a couple of days, but as soon as I get back you don't even wanna welcome me!" He complained, exasperated, but then a little glint of mischievous happiness illuminated his eyes "Did you miss me that much?" He asked with a mocking grin on his face.

You chuckled, amused by his stubbornness. Then you gave him a little smile before opening your arms towards him.

His tail and ears stood in excitement and he didn't even think twice before throwing himself into your arms, turning himself into full kitty in the middle of the jump.

You catched your beloved kitty you had missed so much and hugged him tight as you rubbed your face against his.

"Dumb human, if I just wanted sex I could leave and go other places! But I'm staying here with you!" He exclaimed as he licked your cheek with his raspy tongue lovingly.

"Oh, are you?" You giggled as you held him close to your face.

"Yes I am. You should appreciate me. If you don't want me then you'll have to kick me out yourself!" He declared as he started rubbing your faces together to mark you with his scent.

"No need, I can do that for her!" Xiao spat bitterly. Scara looked back at him and showed him his tongue. You interrupted the incoming fight by holding him tight like a baby, moving his face away from the other male's.

"No need to do any of that! We're going back to sleep! Like a happy family! Got that?" You huffed as you cradled Scara from one side to another in a rather threatening way. But only Venti nodded and took his hand to the button of the lamp by the nightstand.

"Got that??" You repeated, rather annoyed, shaking Scara with one hand and Xiao with the other.

"Yeah…" they finally accepted, rolling their eyes.

"Wait." Xiao said as he climbed past you to get to the other side of the bed, where Venti was lying. You moved aside to the now free space to make room for him beside Venti.

(Art by @ mylomanya on twitter)

Noo, don't tell me you're mad at me." You gave Xiao the sad puppy eyes. "You don't want me anymore because you're jealous?" You whined as you tugged his arm.

"Hummm" Xiao complained as he big spooned a giggling Venti, giving you his back. You kept Scara's mouth tightly close with your hand to prevent him from making more snarky comments. He tried to free himself with his little paws in vain.

"My littlest kitty doesn't love me anymore…" you sobbed. He huffed again and curled his tail around your leg as he hid his face in Venti's neck. You giggled happily and stretched yourself to get onto them.

You kissed Venti goodnight on the lips, who gladly reciprocated, and then left a smooch on Xiao's messy hair. He emitted a grumpy sound and turned back his head to ask for a kiss on the lips too. Of course you gave it to him, but didn't expect him to eat your mouth so furiously. You even felt his sharp fangs biting you lower lip.

"Good night. I love you with all my heart." You said as Venti finally turned off the light.

"There's nothing for me?" Scara protested when yo finally released his snout. You kissed his head and hugged him as you shifted on the bed to find a comfortable position to sleep.

He slowly turned into human, carefully distributing his weight on top of you to avoid crushing you.

It was dark, but it didn't matter, he saw perfectly how you opened your shirt wide for him to lay his head on your soft chest. He started purring, nuzzling his face against you as close as he could. He laced one arm around your neck and held the side of one of your breasts gently. He left little kisses in between them, careful not to hurt you or cause you any more discomfort.

You entangled your legs with his. One of your hands traveled to his back while the other stayed on his head, caressing his fluffy ears just the way you know he loved.

"I love you." Was his last thought as he nuzzled into your chest impossibly deeper.

Slowly, your breaths and heartbeats started to match the same calm rythm. You caressed his head until you fell asleep.

This is how the mf lives.

The next morning you woke up crushed by a cluster of kitty men. Some were men–Scara who was sleeping with his face buried in your chest, mouth wide open, snoring loudly, and Xiao who was embracig the lower part of your body with both arms, his own face crushed under one of Scara's legs–and some other were kitties–Venti who was in full loaf mode sleeping peacefully on top of your head like he was some kind of fluffy hat, and Kazuha who had joined in the early morning to lay sprawled, tummy up, between your feet.

Opening your eyes and mouth was hard because your face was full of Venti and Scara's fur. You started wiggling, trying to escape, causing both Scara and Xiao to growl and squeeze you tighter.

"Guuys…" you let out a lament "Wake up" you said weakly, freeing one of your hands to get Venti's fuzzy tail away from your mouth.

Getting out of bed was a prowess. But when you achieved it, you walked to the kitchen to find Albedo sitting by the table reading a pile of papers with a fuming mug of coffee in hand.

He said good morning to you with a kind smile and asked you if you wanted some breakfast. You nodded enthusiastically and walked to the counter to start cooking something.

"Would you like me to prepare another herbal tea for your menstrual pain?" He asked as he walked towards you to place a warm hand on your waist ever so casually. You shook your head no.

"I feel fine already," you smiled "My body is a bit sore, but it's because I was crushed by some kittens all night." You said with a little smile. He chuckled.

"I can imagine."

It was Sunday and you didn't have to work that day, so you suggested you could make some breakfast for everyone to have together. He accepted and helped you prepare some human breakfast for the six of you. 

As time went by, the other kitty men came to the kitchen one by one, lured by the delicious smell of coffee and pancakes and the sweet sound of your laughter. You all sat to the table and ate together. 

You had nice conversation. Xiao and Scara fought a little bit but you calmed them down. You laughed a lot. It was a pleasant way to start the day. You were beyond happy. 

After eating, Venti left saying he knew there were going to be lots of people at a nearby park so he was going to play to make some money. He invited you but you told him you really wanted to stay home and rest to have energy to go back to work the next day. So he kissed you goodbye and took Xiao in his kitty form with him, saying he needed to get more sunlight and get out of the house more often. Xiao protested but ended up going with him.

Albedo helped you clean the table and then he went back to his room, saying he was busy with some scientific research and that he wanted to work on it.

Kazuha said the sun was amazing and that he was going to take a nap on the roof.

So you were left with lazy Scara who didn't help with anything. He was moping around in the couch while you were doing the dishes.

"You could help around more often, you know?" You scolded him, side eyeing him from where you were standing in front of the sink.

He stretched himself all across the couch and emmitted some sounds of protest as he yawned.

"Hmph, comes back home but only to sleep." You cursed him under your breath, perfectly conscious that he could hear you with his sensitive fuzzy ears. He swished his tail from side to side, annoyed.

He got up and walked to you dragging his feet.

"You're unfair." He protested as he hugged you from behind, resting his face on the crook of your neck, looking down at your hands which were washing the dishes.

"No, you are. Everyone helps around but you. We cooked, tidied up and clean, you're the only one who doesn't do anything around the house." You said.

"Hmm…" he meditated, closing his eyes "Lemme find a good task for me to help around…" for a single second you thought he was serious "Lemme think…Oh, I've got the perfect one!" He said as he cupped your breasts, holding them up while you were working "I can be your personal bra from now on!"

(Art by @ dng_mlk on twitter)

"..."

You punished him with a well deserved splash of water and dish soap!

"You say you wanna take care of me, but are incapable of doing the bare minimum!" You said with a frown.

He whined and huffed but ended up helping you. He couldn't be a spoiled brat all life, he had to help around the house like everyone else!

"Can I be your personal bra now?" He pouted when you finished tidying up the kitchen, naughty tail swishing excitedly from side to side.

You gave him a pensive look with squinted eyes.

"Hmm, okay...but check they don't hurt first!" You warned him "Last night was awful!"

"I'm sorry," he said in a provocative, meliflous tone to gain your favour "You know I didn't mean to hurt you." he whispered in your ear as he kissed your neck.

"Be careful, be careful…" you said as you anxiously observed his hands traveling to your breasts. 

He opened your shiry and gently grazed your skin with his soft palms. Upon seeing there was no painful reaction, he went ahead to press them and then cup them.

"Ok, it doesn't hurt," you said as he carefully took your nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. "They don't hurt anymore," you smiled "Ok, go ahead, quench yourself."

"Ooh, can I?" He purred with a huge, sly grin of satisfaction on his face. You nodded and he started kneading your pretty boobs, the apples of his eyes, massaging them in that special way that never failed to relax you.

"Ahh…" a cute little squeak of pleasure escaped your pursed lips, making him proud of his ministrations. Your face was simply beautiful, your cheeks softly reddened and your glossy eyes clouded by pleasure.

"C'mere so we'll get more comfortable." He said as he sat himself on a chair by the table and you on his lap, your back pressed against his warm torso. He continued to play with your breasts as you turned your body to lace your arms around his neck and hide your face on his shoulder.

"Ah, Kuni…" you protested in between some pants. His heart thumped hard when you called him like that. But he pretended to be calm and smug.

"What? Don't tell me you're afraid the others might hear us" He mocked you as he pinched your nipples to tease you further.

You shook your head from side to side.

"It's just that the way you touch my boobs never fails to make my pussy hungry…" the voice in which you moaned those words was so lustful it also awakened his member under his little black boxers.

It was true. Kuni lived to suck from your tits. He was a certificated booba handler. Not only was he addicted and you indulging in his little kink made him overjoyed but he also rewarded you with immense shockwaves of pleasure.

"Oh, is that so?" He mocked again with that smug smile that grew from knowing he had you wrapped around his finger. He nudged your head to the side with his nose, exposing your neck for him to lick and nibble on.

"Uh-huh…" you moaned, your blush up to your ears. "Y-you know I always get horny this time of the month…" you struggled to articulate as his velvety mouth bit your oversensitive neck and his blessed fingers never stopped fondling your breasts.

"Oh really?" He said with a little smirk "I think that pussy of yours is hungry all month long." He took one of his hands down your legs, which opened without hesitation for him to trace the slit of your vulva over your stuffed panties. You responded with a tiny desperate moan.

The way he pinched and pulled your nipples made your pussy tingle, and you knew the wetness coming out of it wasn't blood this time.

You could only answer him with some needy moans. He smiled naughtily as he kissed your neck, watching you kick your legs in the air, your thighs pressing against each other, desperate for some friction.

"Guess it's time to feed the poor thing." He said snarkily as he moved your panties to the side and caressed your pussy with his soft and slender fingers.

"Ahh…Kuni, be careful, there's still a bit of bl…"

"Don't worry babe, I'm prepared for everything" he interrupted you with a smug tone, pulling a packet of tissues out of nowhere and putting it on the table "Relax, let your kitty do the job he does best."

You snorted a little laugh and sighed.

"Okay, just don't get the floor stained." You rolled your eyes with a little smile.

He bit your neck a bit harshly in protest, making you moan again.

"So shameless, I'm pleasuring you and you treat me like this," he pouted "I should let your little pussy starve." He mocked as he lapped at your neck enthusiastically.

You giggled at his little tantrum.

"Oh yeah? I think you deserve a far worse treatment, you know? I spoil you way too much, I didn't even punish you for what you did last night…"

"I didn't know your boobs were going to hurt!" He protested, excusing himself again.

You shook your head disapprovingly.

"I wasn't talking about that." You declared.

"So? What else did I do now?" He complained as he gently pulled from one of your nipples like he was trying to get the answer from there.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, he doesn't even register it as wrong, shameless. Maybe Xiao is right, maybe I'm way too indulgent with you…" you said as you placed your hand on your chin pensively.

"Hmm, so you don't remember what you called me?" You asked, side eyeing him with squinted eyes.

"Nooo, c'me on, tell me already! I can't read your fucking mind!"

He frowned as he tried to remember one by one the happenings of last night. Then his ears got pressed to his head, but luckily for him you didn't see them because you were giving him your back.

"You're mad because of that…?" He asked, his tail swishing nervously from side to side. He didn't like the idea of having to apologize to you, it would ruin his pride and his bad boy facade!

"Yeah, don't try to make it sound taboo now, you said it out loud with the same little mouth you kiss me with!" You protested with a frown, biting the inside of your cheek.

He insisted with the purring to seduce his way out of trouble.

"You won't get mad at your kitty for that, will you?" He said with a mellifluous tone, caressing your breasts fondly and leaving a sweet kiss on your neck.

"Well I didn't last night, I hugged you and kissed you and cuddled you to sleep even though you called me a bitch," his ears compressed further down on his head upon hearing your resented emphasis on the word "But maybe I should have. Even though I give you my everything you treat me like that..."

"Bu-but…!" He didn't know how to get out of it without an apology, so he kept caressing you and kissing you to earn your favor "You're my pretty human, I know you can forgive me…"

You interrupted his pouting.

"Oh, I'm your pretty human again?" You said relentlessly "I'm pretty sure last night you called me a dumb human and a bit…" he didn't wanna hear it again, so he silenced you with a desperate kiss. It was a really tasty one, so you received it.

"You know I didn't mean it" he said as he rubbed his fuzzy cat ears against your face to tenderize you "The same way you didn't mean to slap the shit out of me like you did…"

"Now you wanna make me guilty?" You chuckled.

"Hell no! I'm just trying to solve this shit!" He hissed, desperate.

"Maybe if you learned how to apologize like an adult human being…" you teased him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" He spat, his whole face flushed "I didn't mean it, it was just a reaction because you nearly blew my face off!" He exclaimed as his tail stood on edge.

"Hmph."

"Y/N?" 

Silence. He tried to turn your head to make you face him but you crossed your arms and gave him your back.

"Y/N!" He insisted, making a big sad pout "C'me on! Forgive me already!" He shook you softly.

"That's not how you apologize you moron!" You bit the tip of his ear.

He huffed, annoyed, and then gathered all the air he could in his lungs as if it was strength to overcome his pride. Then he made you face him and put his hands on your shoulders.

"Y/N I fucking love you. I'm sorry I called you a bitch, you're my precious human, okay? And I won't complain you fucking broke my face," a little cackle escaped your lips "I probably deserve it because I never take care of you the way you take care of me." He finished the sentence with his face bright red and his eyes closed shut.

He stayed like that, in silence, for a couple of seconds.

"See? The world didn't end." You told him with a smile. And the truth was that he really felt like the world was gonna end if he apologized. So this was a good positive reinforcement. "Good things happen when you say sorry."

He huffed with resignation.

"Oh, really? I'd like to see that." He sighed in defeat, rolling his eyes. Then you placed a kiss on his nose.

"I love my beautiful kitty," you said, observing him with enamored eyes. His ears stood up and his tail curled with excitement.

"You're not mad anymore?" He asked. You shook your head and hugged him tightly. You felt how hard his heart was thumping.

"I love my pretty human," he whispered with droopy eyes as he broke the hug to give you a sloppy kiss on the lips. It got needier as it turned into a heated make out session "I'll never call you that again, I promise, you're …you're…" his voice got another octave deeper "You're my love."

The way he said it and the way he kissed you made your heart skip a beat. It really conveyed his love for you. It injected his feelings right into your bloodstream.

Your thighs pressed against each other and your walls clenched around nothing as you entangled your hands desperately on his hair while kissing him.

"My beloved kitty, I'm thankful for all your love and attention" you said between pants as you pulled back to be able to look him in the eyes. They were as glossy as yours.

"You better be…" he whispered with a naughty smile, curling his tail around your leg "I can do more, you know? You deserve some more…let me give you more…" he said as he turned your body to give him your back again so he was able to access your pussy.

You let out a little moan as he bit your neck and pulled from one of your nipples just the way he knew made your walls clench. Then he slid his other hand to move past your panties and caressed the outer labia.

"You're drenched," he said, his smirk pressed against your neck "Let your kitty feed that hungry pussy." He purred in your ear.

You nodded your head several times as you spread your legs impossibly wider for him to enter his naughty fingers. They were received with an instant hug, wet and tight, hungry against his pads. He curled them inside you, looking for that sweet spot that made you see stars. When he found it he started stimulating it at a steady rhythm.

You panted and moaned as he alternated between sliding his two fingers in and out and caressing the spongy spot in circular motions.

"You like it, pretty?" He whispered in your ear.

"Uh-huh…" you nodded again, panting.

"You're so perfectly wet and tight right now, I'd kill to fuck you against the table…" his breath hitched now too.

You surprised him by escaping from his embrace and standing up to lean against the table.

"O-only if you promise not to stain the floor." You said as you laid your stomach on the cool surface of the table, picking up the package of tissues and handing it to him.

His eyes shone like two stars, his heart jumping from his chest. He picked the tissues with one hand and placed the other one on your shoulder, gently pressing you down.

It took him no time to position himself between your legs, freeing his cock from his boxers and fitting himself against the curve of your ass.

You let out a big moan of relief and satisfaction when you felt him push inside of you. You clamped around him so hard he had to give his best not to cum on the spot.

"Today is still about you," he panted, sweat sticking his bangs to his forehead as he invited you to take your fingers to stimulate your neglected clit. You started caressing it in circular motions as his hands got back to caress one of your breasts.

The concentration needed to catch the few droplets of blood-stained slick that slid down your leg with the tissue was enough to keep him from cumming. That gave him enough time to kiss your needy cervix with the tip of his cock. But that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it. Smelling you, touching you, being inside of you was what he loved the most in the whole world.

"K-kuni I'm cumming…" you moaned as you desperately grabbed the table for dear life.

"That's what I wanted my pretty girl to say.." he gasped as he felt your walls spasming around him. He held his breath as he let you ride your orgasm until you sighed in relief and fell limp on the table. Then he pulled out and moved your panties back into place.

"That's my beloved human," he smiled as he picked you up from the table, nesting your face on the crook of his neck so you didn't see the fluids he couldn't save the floor from. Hey, in his opinion, a dirty floor was worth your orgasm!

He carried you to your room and laid you on the bed for you to recover your energies.

"You should take a little nap." He said as he kissed your cheek.

"You're not napping with me?" You asked with little puppy dog eyes.

"Sure I am, just let me go to the bathroom real quick."

"Okay…"

You fell asleep as he desperately ran to the kitchen to clean the goddamn floor. Sure he was gonna cuddle you all afternoon, but first he went to the bathroom to empty his full heavy balls into his fist. After that he washed his hands and felt really sleepy so he walked back to your room to find a place in your bed. Right behind you, big spooning you into a peaceful and fluffy slumber.

"I love you so much…" he whispered in your ear as he kissed the back of your head.

You didn't completely awake, but you moved your hands to caress his, which were wrapped around your tummy.

You had sweet dreams that afternoon. But not as sweet as your beloved kitten.

You have no idea how hard it was to find the words to finish this one 🥲 Now I'm finally free to write other stuff! I wish I could finish ch2 with Xiao but Kuni won't loosen my chokehold a single bit

My idea is to post more often from now on 🥲

See you before next year, hopefully!

[vidavalor]

Way too long venty anon from a couple days ago: two more points that occurred to me (sorry! 😂)

I feel like 'you're so irrelevant that we can kick you out and then bastardise your material to create something better suited to our purposes' is a much better message to send than 'you're so important that even if we get rid of you we need to keep your scripts or else throw in the towel entirely'?

One of the major concerns I've seen floating around is that it'll be un-queered... but honestly, why? And also, how even?

(P.S. I feel like I should add that justice is of course the most important thing and that above all, his victims deserved better, but I've - fortunately - yet to see anyone dispute that him facing consequences for his actions is good, compared to so so many people bitching, beyond any reasonable sadness or initial shock, about how this is going to be a half-arsed, sloppy, way-too-short rush job that'll ruin everything and if amazon wasn't going to provide all 6 episodes they may as well have just cancelled, which, imo, is both untrue and lacks situational awareness - not to mention, is infuriating - so that's the part I chose to address, as we do seem to have at least reached the bare minimum of a n*il needs/needed to go consensus)

Hi, welcome back! 💕 Vent away. *pours your drink of choice* I saw your first message & will get to that next. I'm doing things backwards like Good Omens this week, apparently. Also, if you aren't someone I'm already talking with via DM & you feel comfortable doing so, you're welcome to message me. I feel like we'd get along. 😂 Everyone but bots, trolls & NG is always welcome to DM or Ask-- whatever people feel most comfortable with.

On Point # 1 (& the PS)-- Yes, it is a better message to send, absolutely. I'm hoping that people are getting to the places you've mentioned in the P.S. I took a look a few days ago (against my own advice to other people lol) and booked it out of there pretty quickly. I saw people making petitions demanding more episodes, embarrassing the people from the show who fought to get this movie, when they should be thanking them and Amazon. What really horrified me, though, is support for petitions demanding the rapist's unfinished scripts (if they even exist). Just... no. No. I've also seen a lot of posts that just aren't mentioning his survivors at all or that it's good that he's gone and that are blaming Amazon for the movie when it's the rapist who is the problem here, not the (shit behemoth) company who was convinced to give the story an ending. I've also seen many, many people who have been great and lovely but just the brief glimpse I dared out of hope to take the other day did not really boost my spirits. On a lighter note...

2-- There are people saying it'd be "unqueered"? *tries very hard not to spit coffee everywhere laughing* *is unsuccessful and there's now some on the desk, luckily not my computer* *brb mess to clean up*

Ok, I've returned. *exhales, still laughing, but now with less hot caffeine everywhere* WHAT THE FUCK?!

Imagine believing a) that's even fucking possible and b) that anyone would think there'd be any fiscal or any other kind of benefit to trying? What... even is... "unqueered"? Do they realize that this would be like trying to take space out of Star Trek? Like taking a ticking clock out of 24? Like saying The Doctor doesn't need time travel or the Tardis? Queer is the foundation upon which this story is built. It's a reason for its entire existence. There is simply no way for this show to not be queer. They never would even try such a thing because the only reason why there's a movie and not a cancelation is because the people involved in this show were able to convince Amazon that it was financially beneficial to Amazon to make it and that argument would have been built around the existence of Good Omens' legion of a very queer and queer-friendly fanbase.

Also, even if they were to do something as completely idiotic from a business standpoint as to try to somehow unqueer the queerest show in existence, have these people suggesting they might ever heard of these guys called David Tennant, Michael Sheen and Jon Hamm? 😂

I'm presuming these "unqueered" people are the same people who think it just became queer when they saw Crowley and Aziraphale kiss, which... *winces really hard*... I'm not going to dignify that. I am Gabriel and Beez below at such a notion.

These people with the "unqueered"... I'd imagine that their expectation is now that Amazon-- the people who hired the four, other writers who wrote the majority of the queerness that is S2, mind-- is going to hire someone to, what? Retcon the kiss and end the series with Crowley and Aziraphale praying hard at mass? That they'll be all: Just kidding, Good Omens fans! This blasphemous and queer tv show based off the novel written by Terry Pratchett is now being written and produced by these fine folks we hired from that Christian Hallmark channel! We know this will definitely make you all want to tune in and give us your money!

I can see it now, Lovely Venting Anon... all of Good Omens is a fantasy Wensleydale made up about the world within his snow globe. When his never-seen Peanuts parents show up and find out that fantasy involved queers, they send him to boarding school (totally going to unqueer him, that) and that's most of the movie. God returns and is seen for the first time but She's revealed to be the head of the boarding school and is now played by Candace Cameron Bure.

The big finale is a scene wherein Crowley tells Aziraphale that he is exclusively male and straight and Aziraphale says that's good and wishes him luck with a non-erotic handshake, informing him of his own intent to be straight and exclusively male forever himself, especially now that he's off to do his new assignment of writing speeches for Nigel Farage, all happily at the behest of the show's big hero... The Metatron. They agree that food and sex and secular music and books are sin and pray together (actual praying, you hopeful gutterbrains, not Hozier praying) over the closing credits.

This gives way to a secret, bonus scene for the hardcore fans-- the only appearance in the film of characters played by Nina Sosanya and Maggie Service. It's a flashforward to the future in which they are both now living in Arkansas and married to conservative Christian men. We see them discussing their quest to overtake their local school boards and shut down all the libraries. Nina, in particular, is really excited to be the founding member of Blacks for Trump in her area. It ends with Maggie gathering her anti-trans signs and heading out with a smile to distribute them around town.

I mean, it's not quite what I've been theorizing the plot of the movie is but ya just never know...

People need to *relax* about the movie being written by other writers. Four, other writers wrote the majority of Season Two and it was great! I know people wanted a whole season-- so did I-- but I'm more than happy with a movie that I honestly didn't really expect was going to wind up happening, though I was more hopeful than I might have been for another show. The movie is the length of the last two episodes of S2 and we've had all the run up to it already with S2. They'll dive right in. It's a bonus finale to what we've already seen. It's going to be very queer and very Pratchett and very good. Just breathe. 😂

[offbrandkyoya]

82 think about it

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Scaramouche was sent back to the hotel the boys were staying in. You stayed right by his bedside, holding his hand. He exhausted himself out and fell asleep. You watch him sleep peacefully but your heart aches for him. To think his mother was behind it all.

You hear commotion from the other side of the room causing Scaramouche to stir a little. You stand up and shush him. “Sleep.” You whisper and plant a kiss on his forehead. You quietly exit the room and are faced with Zhongli and Venti arguing. You’re surprised Zhongli even gets angry. Venti notices you and smiles forcefully. “Oh Yn! I’m sorry if this knucklehead over here caused you to wake up!” “I wasn’t asleep to begin with…” You mutter but venti could care less.

“Why are you guys fighting?” You finally ask and Venti scoffs. “Because it’s Zhonglis fault that Ei is back.” “How?!” He fires back. “I didn’t cause the downfall! You did! All because-“ “All because what? Finish that sentence, Zhongli!” You gasp, “Wait! You two were with Ei?! So you guys are the popular band that stupid lady was talking about!” “Unfortunately…” They eye each other. You blink, glancing back at the two of you. “Hold on…how old are you guys?” “Is Scaramouche okay?” Childe makes his way to the conversation.

You nod with a smile. “He’s still sleeping.” He sighs, “I can’t believe this. I had a hunch but…” He bit his lip. “Damn it! I didn’t think that bitch would come back!” You frown. “You know his mom?” “Of course I do. We’re childhood friends. When she left, my family took care of him. Like seriously! Who abandons their kid not even halfway through their childhood and then comes back to their adult life just so they can show off the talent they abandoned because of their trauma?!”

Zhongli rubs his temples. “We need to do something about her. Now that she’s back, it might stir some controversy.” “Oh really?” Venti rolls his eyes and Zhongli glares. “Venti, all I want is for this to be over.” “Look, Scaramouche is MY friend.” “He’s mine too! I genuinely care for him!” Venti crosses his arms. “Do you? Or you just using him for your own selfishness just like old times?” Zhongli scoffs and storms off. You frown at Venti. “I know you aren’t on good terms but-“ “Yn, stay out of it.” He insists and walks to his room.

You let out a sigh and see Childe staring at the direction Zhongli took. “Continue looking after him.” He tells you and follows his leader. It’s easy to tell that he’s in love with Zhongli. You listen and walk back into Scaramouche’s room.

Childe spots Zhongli outside, leaning onto the wall. The ginger takes in a breath and exits to building. He stands next to Zhongli. “Hey,” He says and Zhongli turns to him. “Childe!” He sighs. “I’m…Im so sorry you had to see that.“ Childe smiles softly. “It’s okay, really. I know you’re having a hard time. That situation isn’t easy.” “Tell me about it.” Zhongli sighs again.

Childe frowns and scoots a little bit closer to Zhongli. “Did you and Venti ever…like each other?” He questions because it was eating up inside him. Zhongli looks at him bewildered then chuckled. “Oh no. We were just friends. People thought we were but there was nothing between us.” He stares up at the sky. “We all were friends.” “What happened?” Childe asks. Zhongli stays silent for a moment, continuing to look up. Childe stares at him with sorrow.

“You don’t have to answer.” Childe says but Zhongli shakes his head. “No, it’s okay.” He faces him with a warm smile. “I trust you.” The ginger blushes. “Y-You do?” Zhongli laughs like Childe just asked a stupid question. “Of course I do. You’re special to me.” Childe blushes even harder. “Oh. You’re special to me too.” “Thank you.” Zhongli says and Childe smiles wide. He ignores the butterflies in his stomach.

“Well,” Zhongli goes back to the topic. “I guess Ei was the first to start acting out.” He folds his arms. “Now that I know, her pregnancy was the reason she started acting off and why she left abruptly.” He takes a small pause. “Venti lost a close friend during that time.” Another pause. “And I lost someone too.” Childes eyes widen. “Oh.” “Yes, we both dealt with sudden deaths but I took it hard the most. I regret my actions a lot. I responded with rage and I would take my anger out on Venti sometimes.”

He sighs, “Venti would respond with anger too. He started to nitpick everything I did and ended up taking all the workload.” Zhongli glances at Childe. “When Ei left, Venti and I agreed to disband permanently. The three of us had fun but our emotions got in our way. What we loved most was music but in the end, we ended up giving up. .” Zhongli takes in a breath then smiles. “I hope you don’t hate me.”

Childe stares at him with wide eyes. “Hate you? I don’t..I’d never hate you, Zhongli.” Suddenly, he grabs hold of Zhonglis hand. “I mean it when I say that you’re special to me. You can never make me hate you.” It’s Zhonglis turn to be surprised. “Childe-“ Out of nowhere, Childe smashes his lips onto his. He pulls away with a red face. “That’s why I can’t hate you.” Zhongli stands still and touches his lips. “That…that was unexpected.” Childes heart hurt. “Oh you don’t feel the same?” “I never said that.”

Zhongli scratches his cheek. “It’s sudden.” Childe frowns and lets go of his hand. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” Zhongli looks down to the side. “I need to think.” “Oh.” Childe holds his arms. “I’m going back to our hotel.” Zhongli couldn’t answer as Childe hurriedly left the scene. The man sighs while running fingers through his hair. “Damn.”

- that’s gay

- I can’t keep doing med anymore I need to go back to the kitchen

- my cat is saur loud guys he makes me EXPLODE

🏷️ @sakiimeo @coquettemaiden @rmiyuki @kur44pika @theblueblub @jxxji0309 @dreamsofminnie @ohmyfinggod @redactedhimbo @kunisbeloved @akagism2 @sketcheeee @thefandomcrow @beriiov @thenightsflower @yukiipc @scaraapologist @scarletttcroww @samyayaya @crucnhice @monaypo1 @feiherp @myaaones @warcelia @hangecanweholdhands @yuminako @valiryyz @screechingxiaolover @tiddieshakeshownu @ilovechuuyaa @d4y-dr3am3r @dazaisfavgf @swivy123 @ganyusbrideee @sagegreenthinks @the-left-glove @wonderland-fan @kylexzz @kaoyamamegami @whycantscarabereal @rvoulte @eunchaeluvr @lxkeeeee @silvermah @baby-bread-in @yelleloww @magica-ren @itzblazekun @im-inlovewithy0u @featuredtofu @anastaxiah @ask-aph-tanzania @drmyday @what-just-happened-huh @xtobefreex @v4lerixxq @duckyyyx @hannoahs-third-eyelash @brain-r0tt @iota1111 @accio-fandom @kaitfae

[kabie-whump]

Oh! You're willing to take whump writing requests? 👀

If so... could you write a Whumpee and Caretaker getting into a bad argument, and Whumpee storms out, only to be kidnapped and not heard from ever since? And Caretaker feels SO GUILTY to the point they blamed themself for arguing with Whumpee over something so trivial? It's okay if not, but ever since reading your bandit story, I would love to see more stuff from you, especially if you're up to writinf my favorite tropes! :O

-- @whumperofworlds

Yeah absolutely I'll write that and I'm gonna make it Onthyes and Ventis :)

~~~

Onthyes hands Shayah Ventis's journal when she opens the door. "Can you give this to Ventis, please?" he asks. "He left it at my place."

Shayah takes the journal slowly, her brow furrowing. "He's not here, blondie. I thought he was with you."

"What?"

Ventis doesn't have a place of his own so he's constantly bouncing between Onthyes's and Shayah's respective homes on a whim. If he isn't with Onthyes he can always expect to find him at Shayah's.

So where is he?

"He left mine late last night. I thought he was coming here."

"You didn't go with him? You escort him everywhere."

Onthyes feels his palms start to sweat, his heart racing. He never lets Ventis go out alone, especially late at night. The genasi bitches at him about it all the time but Onthyes always insists, knowing that Ventis is a bright sparkly beautiful target for lowlifes of all kinds. Even now that he's finally gaining control over his magic Onthyes has never left him out on his own.

But last night, when Ventis had stormed out with a literal cloud thundering over his head, Onthyes hadn't followed. He'd said he wanted space, and for the first time Onthyes had given it to him.

Shit.

"We had an argument," Onthyes admits. "He didn't want me to go with him."

"That's never stopped you before."

"I know!"

Shayah's eyebrows climb higher on her face at Onthyes's raised voice. She steps inside, grabbing her cloak and her bag, and then joins Onthyes outside and locks the door behind herself.

"Come on," she says. "We're gonna find him. If we're lucky he's just shacked up with some handsome stranger and he'll be on one of our doorsteps soon."

That would not be lucky at all for Onthyes. The idea makes him feel sick. Even if Ventis doesn't offically belong to him the thought of him going out and finding someone else to sleep with feels so so wrong.

They comb through all of Ventis’s favorite places: the library, the tavern, the market by the harbor, all to no avail. They even wander by a dingy little nightspill den just in case the fight had been bad enough for him to relapse but luckily they don’t see him there either.

By the time night comes Onthyes is in a state of panic. He can’t decide which possibility is worse: that Ventis decided he never wants to see him again or that something happened to him.

Oh gods, what if something happened to him?

What if someone grabbed him off the street? What if his withdrawl-induced hallucinations returned and he wandered off, chasing shadows into the middle of nowhere?

(Click here to travel to an alternate timeline!)

A week goes by. Onthyes doesn’t rest. He becomes obsessed with searching for any sign of Ventis, but every passing day of finding nothing brings him closer to the verge of insanity. Shayah has to force him to eat and rest on multiple occasions.

One one such night, Onthyes dissolves into exhausted, guilty tears on Shayah's couch.

"It was such a small thing," he chokes out, hugging a throw pillow to his chest. "He'd met some new friends and he liked them but I thought they seemed like trouble and I was scared that he'd relapse if he wasn't careful with who he saw. You know how hard it was to get him sober the first time so I really didn't want any of us to have to go through that again but he took it as me not trusting his judgement-"

"To be fair, we shouldn't trust his judgement."

"But you know that's a cruel thing to say. Especially to him. Especially when he's just started being able to trust his own mind again."

Shayah sighs, tipping her head back and blowing out smoke from her pipe. "I know, blondie. I know."

Onthyes scrubs the tears from his eyes. Moping around isn't going to help him find Ventis, but Shayah has forbidden him from going out searching again tonight.

"It's all my fault," he whisperes. "I felt hurt cause he didn't appreciate that I really just want to keep him safe. But I should've followed him anyway."

"He'll turn up."

And he does turn up that same night in the form of an exhausted and bloodied body collapsing against Shayah's door in the dead of night, the sound rousing Onthyes from his fitful sleep on the couch.

~~~

Might continue this later :)

Ventisposting taglist: @scp-1296 @sapphicccici @acer-gaysimpstuff @morning-star-whump @yeetmyskeet @rainydaywhump

[thatdeadaquarius]

Reader that can emit sounds from their memory(like as an aura)

Walk into a room? Why do I hear boss music

Comedic timing? Fuck yeah.

Bored? Jumpscare noise.

Zhongli talking? Jeopardy theme.

Someone is annoying? Earrape.

Think about it!

Hello! I’m the 12th Harbinger, aka as CHIL- bitch shut the fuck up, WHATS UP ITS YA BOY AQUARIUSSS- /ref

lmao imagine you walking into a room like this in teyvat, with like that audio I SAVE BY GIVING IT CPR- TIGHT AS VIRGIN BOY DONT GET NERVOUS-

(also ill stop apologizing for the late replies to these, bc as we all know by now that im slow and u will get answered eventually i promise tumblr most likely didnt delete u guys asks im just hoarding them LMAO)

I’ve been super busy running in circles so sorry about ghosting! I still very much enjoy and love u guys and love seeing you guys enjoy my stuff :’) 

Still cant believe that, but thank you!

JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC WHEN ZHONGLI TALKS

HE’D BE SO CONFUSED

THINKIN HE GOT AN ANCIENT CURSE HE DOESNT KNOW ABT PUT ON HIM OR SMTH BC HE’S ALWAYS BEING STALKED BY THIS SONG-

(tbh unless the person is super observant I dont think most ppl would get that it’s YOU causing this chaos lmao)

◇

Like I can see Zhongli eventually getting it lol, other ppl I could see after the first few weeks of interacting with you (esp bc you mix it up, honestly it was only bc u kept playing the jeopardy theme over and over when Zhongli ranted on too long that he got it was you 💀):

Heizou (he’s the best detective on all of Inazuma’s islands, ofc he got it! no he will not acknowledge that he totally thought you were hiding a very musical tanuki somewhere on your person at all times lol)

◇

Alhaitham and Cyno (haitham took like, two hours of walking around town with you and knew, bc he’s a little know-it-all lazy bastard like that, and Cyno is actually just really aware, despite what most ppl think, he’s the General Mahamatra and not just a regular Mahamatra for a reason after all)

◇

Tighnari (i stg he can like, smell when bullshittery is happening in his vicinity …or... hear?)

◇

Venti (unsurpringly, he’s totally in love with this power of yours, i mean he definitely loves you cares about you a lot he says, but you’re starting to think he’s just lying to butter you up into pranking Diluc, Barbara, Jean, and really the entirety of Mondstadt more often  including Zhongli just so he can laugh until he’s on the ground again, also he definitely once asked you to make a dragon sound that’s the equivalent of shouting FUCK at Dvalin when he was flying overhead one day)

◇

Hmm

Hm hm hmmmm

Who elseee, i need a characcctterrr lisstttt…

Albedo (duh, he’s albedo, you think he has an entirely too thick folder dedicated to your recent obsessions, you rant a lot about it while playing and also he can access your browsing history 👀, and he somehow doesn't know that about you?? You’re like, literally one of his long-term, there-for-life, has-bought-a-house-for-free-in-his-head-you- arent-even-on-rent-anymore, hyperfixations or special interests. Autistic!Albedo is autistic, Because I Am Your God, And I Say It Is So.)

◇

Dehya (always knows when its you walking around near her bc you like to listen to your old world’s songs too often when you arent pranking bitches, she actually rlly likes it and your music tastes…)

☆

HOLY FUCK SPEED RUN BC GOD THERE’S TOO MANY BITCHES WANNA BE YOUR BABY, RIDING AROUND IN A DAMN MERCEDES-

OKAY-

SO not all in the same way or at the same time, or even the same length of time did they realize you literally change background music or some shit so I’ll let you just- you know okay- like you get it- you get it.

Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Diluc, Ayato, Yae Miko, Keqing, Qiqi, Klee, Sara, Kuki, Nahida, Ningguang, Rosaria, Scaramouche/Babygirl, Dainsleif, Kokomi, Xinyan, Yun Jin, Yelan. 

Jfc got the whole damn pride flag up here

Anyway everybody else outta luck, at least takes em a month or longer to get it lol

♡

Sorry abt the end there i didnt feel like writing out all those bitches bc the few I did before were already longer than I thought they’d be…

Also, I am posting these spam of drafts (and that old follower 100+ event possession headcanons in prep for the next 2 weeks bc I will be really busy, again :/

Got spring break shenanigans this week, then I’ll be running around like a cat with zoomies bc im getting ready to install/actually submit my artworks for the gallery exhibition! 

…wish me luck or prayers or anything good from any god you believe in, I need the strength. 

With love, safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist