#vent over we ball!! hearts hearts lots of love!!

[potangena44]

venting out my frustrations towards final pts using yesod lobotomy corporation. this is me btw im listening to my assorted genre playlist in my yesod cosplay right now doing my reaction paper for EAPP at 12:54 am philippine time. manager please execution bullet me

[meazalykov]

never meant to be

klara buhl x reader

summary: you couldn't take it anymore

angst, moving away, one-sided love

your feelings for klara had always been a closely guarded secret. 

moving from manchester city to bayern munich was a significant change, but meeting klara made it feel like everything was falling into place. 

over the years, you and klara had shared countless moments that deepened your affection for her, moments that made you fall in love despite your best efforts to hide it.

one of the earliest memories was from the day you first joined the team. it was a casual practice session, and you were feeling nervous and out of place. 

klara had noticed. she asked sydney if she could practice with another duo partner so she could help you fit in. when sydney said yes with a bit of convincing– klara approached you with her signature smile.

“hey, y/n,” she said, extending a hand. 

“can i be your partner for passes?” the german asks. 

“yes absolutely!” you cheered. 

you gave her the ball and she started passes. your feet had great chemistry with the ball. 

the look on your face seemed stressed though. you were trying your hardest to prove to the coaches that you belong here– being the newbie and all. 

“hey, relax!” klara giggles as she stops the two-touch passes. 

you relax your jaw and eyebrows, breathing as you sighed from the stress.

“I know this is a lot to take in, but you’re doing great. if you need anything, just let me know.”

“thank you. you’ve been so kind.” you respond.

her kindness and genuine offer of friendship made you feel instantly at ease. 

it was in those early interactions that you first started to admire her not just as a teammate but as a person.

another moment came during a long road trip for an away game against wolfsburg. the bus was filled with the usual noise of teammates chatting and relaxing, but you found yourself sitting alone, staring out the window. 

this is an important game for the team, and you made it into the starting lineup for the first time. this is two months into being at bayern. you’re determined to win but nervous to make any mistakes. 

klara had noticed your solitude and made her way over, sitting down beside you.

“you look like you’ve got something on your mind,” klara said softly. “want to talk about it?”

you hesitated, but her presence was comforting. 

“it’s just… a lot to adjust to. moving here– leaving everything behind.”

klara nodded sympathetically. “i get it. i felt the same way when i first joined from freiburg. if you ever want to talk, i’m here. sometimes, it helps to have someone to vent to.”

her understanding and willingness to listen were qualities that drew you closer to her. it wasn’t just about the big gestures; it was the small, thoughtful moments that made you fall for her.

one evening, after a particularly tough match, the team went out for dinner. 

you were feeling down about your performance against frankfurt. klara noticed. she took the seat next to you, her eyes filled with concern.

“you played really well out there,” klara said, nudging you gently. “i know you might think that it didn’t feel perfect, but it happens. don’t let it get to you forever.”

“thanks, klara,” you said, trying to smile. “it just feels like i’m not living up to expectations.”

klara’s smile was warm and reassuring. “you’re doing great, y/n. you’ve got talent, passion, and heart. don’t let this single game define you, we still got the three points.”

“luckily, i can’t believe i let freigang score through me twice!” you say in disbelief. 

“ha– don’t worry too much.. laura is a force.” klara talks about her best friend on the national team. 

the moments with klara, combined with her constant support and the way she seemed to understand you better than anyone else, were what made your feelings for her grow. 

you cherished these interactions and replayed them in your mind, each one reinforcing your unspoken love.

one day, during a break between training sessions, you and klara went for a walk in the park nearby. the conversation was light, filled with laughter and shared stories.

“you know,” klara said, tossing a pebble into the pond, “i’ve always wanted to go on a road trip across the continent. just pack up and drive, no set plans. it sounds so freeing.”

“that sounds amazing,” you replied, smiling. “i’ve always wanted to do something like that too. maybe someday, we could do it together during the summer break.”

klara looked at you with a playful grin. “yeah, maybe. but you’d better be ready for a lot of bad singing and questionable snacks with syd.”

you laughed, the sound mingling with the gentle rustle of the leaves. “i think i could handle that.”

it was moments like these—filled with laughter, shared dreams, and the easy comfort of each other’s company—that made your feelings for klara grow stronger. 

the roadtrip did happen, and it was the best time of your life. klara, sydney, sam, and laura went with you. 

a year later in 2025– you accepted that you were in love with klara. 

the thought of confessing your love felt like the right step, despite the fear of rejection and having to see her afterwards. you didn’t want to ruin your friendship– but you hated to hide your feelings at the same time.

the semi-finals of the champions league had been intense, and making it through was a huge accomplishment. 

you felt like this was your moment, the perfect time to confess your feelings. 

the night after the match against chelsea, you decided to take a deep breath and finally be brave. 

you had planned it all out: a bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt letter. you practiced what you were going to say in your head, trying to calm the nerves that were making your hands shake.

as you arrived at klara’s apartment, you hesitated for a moment. you could hear her laughter through the door, and it made your heart race. 

you knocked, trying to keep your composure. the door opened, and klara’s face lit up with her usual warm smile.

“hey, y/n!” she greeted, but her smile faltered slightly when she saw the bouquet in your hands. 

“oh, what’s this?”

“hi, klara,” you said, trying to sound casual despite the lump in your throat. 

“i, uhm, wanted to talk to you about something.”

before you could say more, a man stepped into view. 

he was tall, had curly brown hair, wore glasses, and had an easygoing smile. 

“hey, klara, i didn’t know you were having guests tonight.”

klara’s cheeks flushed. 

“oh, this is tobias. tobias, this is y/n, my teammate.”

you extended your free hand, forcing a smile. “nice to meet you.”

you lied.

“likewise,” tobias said, shaking your hand before giving klara a quick peck on the cheek. 

your eyebrows knitted together at the sight of klara blushing.

“i’ll just grab my things and head out.”

as tobias left, you were left standing there with a bouquet of flowers and an awkward silence hanging between you. klara looked a bit flustered.

“so, um,” you began, trying to fill the silence. 

“how long have you been seeing tobias?”

“not too long,” klara said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“we’ve just been hanging out. i didn’t want to make it a big deal with anybody on the team because… well, we’re not serious yet.”

your heart sank. “i didn’t know about him. we’ve been friends for so long…”

klara’s face grew more uncomfortable. 

“yeah, i know. i should have told you. but trust me i didn’t tell sydney or laura about this either– i just… i didn’t want to complicate things.”

“right,” you said, forcing a smile as you tried to steady your emotions. 

“well, i actually came here to talk about something. but it might not be the best time– or anytime really.”

klara’s eyes widened, and she looked at you with a mix of concern and curiosity. 

“what’s going on?”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. 

“fuck it,” you said to yourself before looking at klara. you had to tell her now. 

“I wanted to ask you out, klara. i’ve had feelings for you for a long time, and i thought you did too for me and we could've– nevermind..”

klara’s face fell, and you could see the surprise and regret in her eyes. 

“oh, y/n… i didn’t know. i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to… i mean, i wasn’t trying to…”

“don’t worry about it,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. 

“i should go. it will be fine.”

you turned and walked out of her apartment, the bouquet still in your hand. every step you took felt heavier, the weight of your unspoken love pressing down on you. 

as you drove home, tears blurred your vision, and the ache in your chest was almost unbearable.

the next day was a blur of defeat and sadness. 

losing the champions league semi-final to chelsea seemed trivial compared to the personal heartbreak you were feeling. 

every corner of bayern munich seemed to remind you of klara, and the thought of seeing her every day while trying to hide your pain was too much to bear.

she will never be yours, and you will never be hers. you needed to escape somewhere that you could move on-- somewhere that didn't have klara buhl.

the summer came, and you made the decision to leave. 

an offer from orlando pride in the NWSL felt like a lifeline, a chance to escape the heartache and start fresh. 

packing up your things was both liberating and sorrowful. you said your goodbyes, trying to keep your emotions in check. 

i will be okay, orlando is the best team in the united states, i will be okay.. you kept repeating to yourself. 

klara was wrapped up in her own world of training and preparation, and it wasn’t until after you had left that she reached out.

a few days after your departure from germany, your phone vibrated with a message. 

Klara B: hey, why did you leave without saying anything? 

Y/n: hi. it was time for me to move on. 

Klara B: already? you were at bayern for two seasons... 

Klara B: and what do you mean, “move on?” why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?

Klara B: sydney had to tell me after she showed me that you sent her a personal goodbye mesaage. lea and tuva got one too apparently. what did i do to you? 

Y/n: i couldn’t stand to see you with someone else, klara. it was too painful. i was in love with you, and i couldn’t stay.

klara read your message and didn’t respond for five minutes.

Klara B: I didn't know you felt that way. I knew you were trying to ask me out but I never knew that your feelings went that far. I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

Y/n: I wasn’t going to say anything originally. However, with the hugs and touches, I thought you liked me back. I had no idea that Tobias was in the picture.. 

Klara B: I didn't mean to lead you on. I never saw this as more than friendship. i’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. 

you sigh, your hands shaky as you reply back..

Y/n: I understand. It's just hard to accept. 

Klara B: I'm sorry, y/n. I really am. I hope you find what you’re looking for from someone in Orlando. you will make a great girlfriend to a lucky girl :)

you took a deep breath and typed out your final message. 

Y/n: i wish you the best, klara. truly. i hope you find happiness.

as you sent the message and put your phone away, a heavy weight seemed to lift off your shoulders. 

this was nothing you dreamed of or wanted. in another world, you got your love– which was klara. 

you accepted that the conversation was a step towards moving on. 

with your new beginning in orlando as a defender, you hoped to leave the past behind in germany and find peace– even if it meant letting go of a love that was never meant to be.

my masterlist is here if you want to read more fics, which include happy ones I promise!

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

A bit of a loaded question, I know, but do you have any TF ships you prefer and would like to share?

I need you to be aware that you're opening pandora's box here. The vibes range anywhere from "god this is hot" to "god this is cute" to "their dynamic is so fucking interesting and i want to study them under laboratory conditions" to "this hurts so much and I need the drama, I am CRYING" to smashing barbie dolls together. I have crackships you ain't even THOUGHT about. I throw ships at the wall just to see if they stick. I like a lot of ships. Arguably too damn many. So many that I'm putting this under a cut to spare people from the long post. So many that I have to sort them by continuity so you're not staring at an unorganized list longer than do you love the color of the sky.

TFA

shockbee I feel has a lot of the potential for shockwave fearing what happens when bee finds out he's not longarm. Like a lot of the scenes in auto boot camp read to me like shockwave really did want bee as an ally while he climbs the ranks, and there's some juicy potential for shocker starting out as just using him until he actually catches feelings. Especially in aus where bee really did join the elite guard. Like can you imagine the drama. The heartbreak. The trust issues. Bee realizing he never really knew the guy he could trust most. Wondering if he's even safe to be around. If anything was even real. Shockwave wondering the same things. Hhhhhhhhh.

I do enjoy shockblurr conceptually but I'm not crazy about how they're usually portrayed in the fandom bc I feel like we're all forgetting that shockwave is a ball of anxiety and murder, and Blurr is a straight laced fuckin nerd who can't shut his mouth. An overpowered, highly capable nerd, but a nerd still. I like what the artist katzske does with them a lot tho.

I'm also a blitzbee enjoyer but on a less "bee can fix him and itll be so sweet" level and more "god imagine how annoying they'd be together." Looney Tunes levels of fucking with people. Either that or bumblebee is just horny on main and really likes the thought of bagging a con, but then he goes and catches feelings.

prowlbulk owns my entire heart. They're so sweet on each other and prowl really respects and appreciates bulkhead way more than bulky's used to. And bulkhead admires so much of prowl's skill and perspective. They work so well together as a couple and it's fucking adorable. With a hint of tragedy bc. Well. You know.

Bulkbee is also incredibly cute bc I'm a sucker for besties that very slowly realize they love each other so much it makes them look stupid. Good in romantic or qpr flavors. Bee already climbs all over bulkhead like a squirrel, they're so fuckin affectionate and very very stupid in social settings.

I like Optimus and blackarachnia from a drama standpoint bc God. They are tragic. They are MESSY. I genuinely think there's no happy ending for them. The trust is gone. But they still miss each other so much and they just CANT move on, so they keep stringing each other along. They're just hurting themselves and each other every time one does anything nice for the other. It's the kinda shit that just slowly rips your heart out. OP please don't text your ex. OP pLEASE

Megop is a classic but I feel we as a fandom underutilize how much Optimus pisses off Megatron. He is an asshole cat knocking shit off the counter for attention. Megs lets him be worse when he is so so fucking tired of being good. He loves that he hates him and he hates that he loves him. Full on "my esteemed rival" "dearly detested." Fighting each other is cathartic and addictive. Megatron finds it infuriating but he can't deny how much he likes having a worthy opponent, how fitting it is that the cosmos sent him so deadly a nemesis, and yet how lame it is that he was so forgettable at first so now he feels dumb being mildly obsessed with him. Optimus is just glad he has someone who doesn't expect him to be perfect and nice and upstanding. He can vent out a lot of his less noble feelings or impulses that he's had completely repressed for ages. The pressure's off in a lot of ways. And I think in an enemies to lovers sense, watching them figure out how to make that setup and that very odd mutual desire to be in each other's lives into something healthier could be really compelling. Or tragic in a "why did I let myself need you? Why the fuck did I let myself need you?" way.

Beeprowl is funny but I only really like it in a "you annoy me SO MUCH let's make out about it" way. Nothing committed, just dispelling the tension without having to kill each other. It is just kinda nice seeing them have genuinely sweet moments though. Squidbob ass relationship.

Lugnut and Strika are the perfect Decepticon power couple and I love them so much. So very much. Lugnut loves his big terrifying wife capable of leveling cities, and she loves her sweet devoted husband who could throw her across the room. I think they break chairs over each other's heads for fun and have been trying to seduce Megatron into a threesome for ages.

Shockwave and Megatron are also incredibly good. The loyalty. The "I commit my whole existence to you. I am yours, in mind body and soul. I will go wherever you need me to, I will put myself in immeasurable danger for you, just please say I'm doing a good job" and "all my efforts would be lost without you. In a world where I have been vulnerable and terrified, where I have been stabbed in the back by people I thought I could wholly trust, I can look at you and know, unwaveringly, you won't do the same. I trust you completely." It's Delicious. It's absolutely codependent but god it's tasty.

Also honestly? Bulkhead and the constructicons could make a pretty cute throuple. He wants them to be better. They want him to be worse. He just wants them to do honest work and they want him to stop letting stuffy, elitist autobot society control him so much. They love each other, they're friends (even if the constructicons don't totally remember the first night they met him). And they really do enjoy each other's company. They're just guys being dudes. Just dudes being guys. Just guys being gays. (It's also just nice when bulkhead gets to be the smaller one, scrapper totally carries him around like a big ol' cat).

I really like prowl being torn between lockdown and jazz. They're the devil and angel on his shoulders. Lockdown tempting him into relapsing, feeling himself fall into old habits, forsaking everything he's learned about patience and respect and being conscientious of the world around him. Jazz picking him back up when he slips, making him WANT to keep being better. And prowl can't decide if he wants to be loved in spite of all his toxic traits or BECAUSE of them. It's got me in a chokehold, your honor.

Megastar is fun in tfa because 1. It's implied Megatron never actually abused starscream while they were on the same side (the first thing starscream says after waking up from being shot is "YOU DARE STRIKE ME, MEGATRON?" which reads to me like this is a new development). Megs doesn't actually hurt anyone working for him other than Sumdac, who he fucking hates (at least not on-screen), and the only reason he was as aggro to starscream post-revival was because he knew screamer is the reason he spent all that fucking time as just a severed head. He used to actually trust him, sort of, even if he was a scheming, sycophantic little weasel. And 2. It's pretty obvious they have history together. I genuinely truly believe they were exes and Starscream only planted a bomb on him because he couldn't be fucking normal about the divorce. You look at how they bitch at each other in deep space and then immediately fall into what is most likely their old dynamic of getting things done and shooting the shit and tell me they never had an intense romantic stint that went horribly wrong. Starscream calls him Meggy in his internal logs for fucks sake.

Oh also sumdac x megatron. It started as a crackship of mine but I really love the idea of sumdac feeling legitimately guilty for taking Megatron apart and unknowingly violating him the way he did, even if Megatron is terrible. Like the dynamic of "you lied to me" "if I told you who I really was, I would be dead. I don't owe you the truth when you held me captive. I was vulnerable. I was TERRIFIED. I did what I had to in order to keep myself safe. And you come to ME with accusations of doing you wrong? When YOU held all the power? And then when I'd taken back the power you left me without, made you feel what I felt, I'm a monster?" "I never meant to hurt you" "Well you did. And now you know just how much damage you did." Like it's such an interesting angle, ESPECIALLY when you consider that sumdac probably grew to legitimately care about Megatron while he was in his lab. He wanted to do right by him. He wanted to see him restored and thriving. He was his robot buddy that made a birthday gift for his kid once. Some part of him probably misses him after he's gone, some part of him probably feels guilty too, even through all the rage and hurt and fear and betrayal. That's complicated feelings!! That's juicy!!!!!

I like the thought of Shockwave and Optimus but that's mostly for sexy reasons. Something about a big, smooth talking, scary cryptid monster, very well spoken and elegant, seducing Good, Upstanding Autobot Optimus to The Dark Side. This is mostly because Optimus is a huge nerd and so is Shockwave. I think Shockwave could potentially pique his interest with uncensored versions of the history Optimus is already a huge dweeb about, and seal the deal with a few gentle touches and honeyed words. From Optimus's perspective this is Very Obviously a Honeypot Trap but the trouble is Shockwave is very hot and very sweet on him and starting to seem less and less evil so he's not sure how long he can keep his guard up when the temptation is this strong. He has a duty to fight Decepticons and shut out their lies but man. He's so tired. And Shockwave's berth is very warm. There is something satisfying about seeing him choose to be selfish after nearly a whole show of him taking the high road. (It's even better if he gets attached when eventually Shockwave's Cool Sexy Collected vibes falter and he sees how much of an anxious, panicky dork he actually is)

Ratchet x Arcee are also very very cute together. Old married dorks. Ratchet's so soft with her and he wants her to be okay. She genuinely likes him and he makes the nightmare she's subjected herself to bearable. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living!" They're both horrifically traumatized, they understand each other on a level most bots can't, and they can ground each other when it gets bad. God. You know they're slow dancing in the kitchen together. You know they're sickeningly domestic with each other. They are holding hands in the park on a comically small bench on earth right as we SPEAK.

I also just kind of like the idea of team prime being a polycule (other than ratchet, who is just watching the young bots having relationship drama and rolling his optics (the age gap and mentor role make me personally a little uncomfortable but I have nothing against people who do include him, they're all adults, its chill)). I like the thought of these losers getting home after a long day and collapsing into a cuddle pile, either on the couch or on the floor. They all love each other so much already, I think they should kiss about it, but they're super repressed so it's So Very Shy and Cautious and Sweet.

The same goes for the Decepticons but more in a "cons are pretty casual about sex anyway, they're in close proximity, and they tolerate each other at least so nearly everyone has a fuck buds setup with each other" way. I feel like the autobots are super repressed in that regard so the cons started leaning into being sluts to stick it to the mech along with all the other freaks shit they're cool with. God help Blackarachnia, she goes from Autobot repression to all her coworkers being sluts on main and she Does Not Know what to do about that (also it would make a lot of sense if that's why she started leaning into the femme fatale thing so hard)

TFP

Optiratch my beloved. Gay old men who would do anything for each other, even when they really don't agree on how to proceed. They're best friends, they're husbands, they're crushing on each other and they think it's unrequited, they just started dating, they've been married for eons. All of it works soooo well. They know each other well enough that they can communicate by just kinda grunting in specific ways. I need them to hold hands SO bad.

Megop is also Very Good here. Literally the most divorced robots to ever exist. Megatron NEEDS Optimus back and Optimus still holds a torch for megs, but it's so fucking funny because they're clearly on fundamentally different levels of "I miss you." Like Optimus is kinda sad and he does want the old Megatronus back, but Megatron does these whole fuckin elaborate stunts to get Optimus to pay attention to him again and then locks himself in his room with a pint of ice cream and dark energon to cry about him. Mans is NOT coping. Alternatively, Optimus is coping just as poorly on the inside and he really does still love Megatron just as much but he knows that's a selfish desire that he quiets with everything else he sacrifices about himself in the name of being a good leader. Least repressed Optimus.

Bulkhead and wheeljack should get to kiss on the mouth I think. If Arcee can call Wheeljack Bulkhead's boyfriend, and bulkhead does not deny it, logic dictates they should in fact French kiss sloppy style for a whole minute on live TV. It can happen. Only on the hub.

KOBD are adorable together, they are so unhinged and stupid and they love each other so much. Like the team rocket of the nemesis. Breakdown loves his husband soooo much and knockout misses him so bad when Silas gets him. And you KNOW they're freaks bc knockout is totally convinced that breakdown would've loved seeing how he torments Silas in bd's body. He's probably right about it too.

I also wholly support Ms. June Darby for trying to seduce Optimus. Me too girl, get that robo ass. Go get jack a new cooler dad. It's also very cute to imagine Optimus, the bigass 30 foot robot, the stoic leader of the Autobots who keeps stonefaced through just about anything, flustered and crushing on a very small and very flirty human.

For some reason the show was kind of trying to tease Bulkhead x Arcee for exactly one episode and then never again and like. Look. I understand it was a forced het ship that was there to distract people from how gay they accidentally made the show. I know it'd probably just be Arcee rebounding after losing Cliffjumper. But I think them having a fwb type relationship while she works through her feelings could be interesting. Though this could just be because Bulkhead is big sweet and comforting and him holding anyone and making them feel safe while they're Going Through it is enough to get me saying God I Wish That Were Me.

Bumblebee and Smokescreen appeal to me in the same way seemingly very hetero frat bros who are apparently a very sweet and affectionate gay couple do. It's an inherently funny irony and also theyre just both cute himbos.

TFP Megastar is horrifically unhealthy in general and there is absolutely no way in hell it could work out. Not pre-war, not post-megs-redemption, nada. Which is why it has my brain in a chokehold. This is one of the ships I like because it's fascinating and because god it HURTS. Like I have my gripes with how the show portrayed the abuse overall but there were some things they were cooking with. Starscream being an obvious victim but then turning around and inflicting it on everyone around him? Girl no, the cycle of violence and abuse!!!! Girl no, you're refusing to do the complex emotional work of accepting that what happened to you wasnt okay and thus you carry out the behaviors you've gaslit yourself into thinking are normal!!!!!! Girl no, society has failed you and you have no support systems to help you break the cycles, but you also simply refuse to try in the first place because your pride wouldn't allow it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cortical psychic patch was literally my fave showcase of their dynamic in the whole show. "I don't want to play this game anymore!" Like jfc ouch. Also the thought of post redemption Megatron lamenting how he treated Starscream, not having considered the damage he's done to him before now. Trying to make it right and only making it all worse by inserting himself into Starscream's life again and realizing how badly he's broken him, how fucked it is that Starscream seems to revere him after EVERYTHING. God. GOD. I'm in agony.

Speaking of starscream in the cycle of abuse, KOSS has postcanon potential. (Post Predacons Rising, rid does not exist 😌) Like. They've proven they feel some type of way about each other. "I've always admired your lustrous finish." "😏" But Knockout was the first person in starscream's life to set a boundary in a healthy way. And when starscream inevitably ignores those boundaries and knockout leaves, you know how much it fucking hurts starscream to realize how badly he fucked up. But of course, the pride. He can't apologize. Can't admit he's the reason knockout betrayed him. So he'll choke back the tears. He'll try to, anyway. But he can't stop the agony in his voice while he feebly spits out "Fine! I hope Unicron eats you too!!" You know the second they shut the door on him, the waterworks started, and so did the closest thing to self reflection Starscream's ever done. He Has the Potential to be Better with Knockout, but he NEEDS to put in the work, and the suspense of wondering if he WILL fucks my whole shit up.

Rescue Bots

It is so close to canon that blades and bumblebee are boyfriends. Hell I believe it pretty much IS canon. He loves that bug so much. He gets jealous when he hangs out with Dani and not him. He hugs him for a photo the first chance he gets. And since we know blades is confirmed as being into dudes, I think we all know what they were getting at. TFP bumblebee has an anxious twink boyfriend that lives in Maine and we have no idea whatsoever if the rest of team prime knows.

Graham and boulder pine for each other like you would not believe. Once again, pretty much canon. You can't just have boulder keep telling Graham "well I like you just how you are" when Graham's trying to impress a girl and expect me to not think he has a big stupid gay crush on his best friend. They love each other so much as partners and as friends, I know damn well they'd be SICKENINGLY cute together as boyfriends. They'd probably try to stealth it at first bc a human and a giant robot alien in love? What'll the others think?? Gotta keep it secret. Sneaking off into the woods so Boulder can work on his "art projects" but in fact they are kissing. They're not as slick as they think they are, Chief Burns 100% picks up what's going on but he lets them think they're sneaky. Nobody actually has any problems with it other than Kade making fun of them a little but don't worry that's just him projecting.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Heatwave and Kade are the worst fucking tsunderes about crushing on each other. Between heatwave refusing to let down the brooding tough guy persona and kade being so insistent on staying hyper masculine (to the point where mild internalized homophobia is inevitable), neither of them can just be honest about how much they mean to each other and they gotta resort to getting each other's attention by being mean in very low stakes ways. I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unloveable hand, except they're not drowning and they're just dunking each other in a kiddie pool repeatedly.

Heatwave and quickshadow are fun for similar reasons but with less shit lord pranks and/or lowbrow bitching, and more classy verbal sniping and sparring with each other because heatwave thinks it's hot when quickshadow kicks his ass. They're insufferably competitive and I think that could be very fun and incredibly messy, especially since they both need to learn how to communicate. Very bisexual, they are forced to share the brain cell, 10/10

I also just enjoy the idea of all the bots being in a polycule the same way I like the idea for TFA's team prime. They're very sweet together and they clearly care about each other a lot. Its just kind of nice when they all hold hands together, you feel me? They're sneaking off to kiss in the bunker bc they don't know if the humans know dudes can like other dudes. They are also not as subtle as they think they are.

Oh also doc Greene and chief burns dated once when they were teenagers and it didn't work out but they stayed besties, nobody can change my mind on this.

Beast Wars

Dinobot and Megatron are exes, 100%. Dinobot is probably the only being in the known universe that Megatron actually kind of cares about other than himself and his rubber duck. Otherwise he wouldn't keep trying to fucking clone him to make a version that will never leave him. There's also some implications here and there that Megatron really did want the world to be better for Predacons (along with the desire for power, anyway) and that preds are genuinely treated unfairly, so there's a pretty compelling angle of dinobot having been drawn to megatron because he saw someone with noble goals and a way to fix their fucked up world before becoming disillusioned with the dishonorable tyrant he turned out to be.

Dinobot and Optimus are also very good together bc it really truly feels like Dinobot finally found the guy with honor he thought he saw in Megatron. And he's infuriating half the time because he isn't nearly as bloodthirsty as he's used to, but GODDAMN does he make him Feel Things. The entire episode Gorilla Warfare has me obsessed with them. The bitching. Dinobot freaking the fuck out and Optimus tenderly removing the seed pod stuck to the back of his neck that was freaking him out and only laughing at him a little. Dinobot constantly trying to choose violence. The stupid smile when Optimus also chooses violence and Dinobot realizes he fucked up. THE BEDSIDE VIGIL. "It was my shift" AND YOU KNOW THEY WEREN'T TAKING SHIFTS. THE FLOWER ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE. "it is good to have you back." "Back home or back to normal?" "...both." THEY'RE HOMOSEXUAL, YOUR HONOR.

Dinobot (shit maybe I just really like dinobot) with Rattrap is good for similar reasons but the vibes are totally different. DoOp is all soft and sweet and patient and light ribbing, Dinotrap is talking shit at each other as a love language. Dinobot is a good guy but he's also, fundamentally, a bitch. Rattrap has proven he can match his freak by bitching right back. They love each other by pretending to hate each other. To the point where if Rattrap doesn't hear any comebacks he genuinely starts worrying because "oh, we aren't playing the game, why aren't you playing, are you okay?" They have so many soft tender moments where they prove they actually love each other. Their last conversation is talking shit!!!! "You're just a slag spouting saurian, but it's nice to know where you stand." "Upwind of you for preference, rodent." They loved each other!!!!!! Rattrap is fucked up over losing him!!!!!!!!!!! It's bittersweet, it's tragic, it hurts so bad and I love them so much!!!! They're stupid your honor!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much sillier side, I do love Rattrap x Rhinox. Rattrap kissed that man twice. On the mouth. On screen. Annoying little gremlin who goes "nyehhhh" x big stoic dude who goes "hn." And they're both tech guys so they probably work on projects together a lot. And they all survive and are fine bc beast machines isnt real 💖

I have my problems with Silverbolt in general but I cannot deny that he and Blackarachnia are pretty damn cute together. He loves his girlfriend, they trash her shitty ex together, she loves that he doesn't try to change her. She gets to be the bad girl and the sweet knight in shining armor still loves her. "Dark poison of my heart" like c'mon.

Airazor and Tigatron are also pretty cute AND they have the honor of being the first canon gay couple in the tf franchise bc of the Japanese dub, which made Airazor a dude but left the romance unchanged (the Japanese dub was also just generally fuckin insane tho so it's not all that shocking).

Waspinator and Terrorsaur are boyfriends for real and for canon, John hasbro told me himself.

RiD 2001

I ship skybyte with that one girl that lives in a state of constant talking-car-based torment. Why? Because when I watched rid with my roommate we had a running joke that eventually they'd meet and have a whole robotfucker romcom arc and it kinda just stuck. This is my only rid ship and I will not be taking criticism on it.

Cyberverse

Bumblebee, Hot Rod and Cheetor are in a polycule together and nobody can tell me they aren't. Just how it's gotta be.

I want Perceptor and Dead End to kiss so badly. They're technically canon already given how hard the creators ship them. They hold hands your honor. "only a bolthead would go out there... UGH I'm such a BOLTHEAD" HES IN LOVE YOUR HONOR.

Hot Rod and Soundwave are great as enemies to lovers, they're so annoying 💖. I feel like they'd start playing gay chicken and be married with three kids wondering when the other guy is gonna back out.

SHOCKWAVE AND WHEELJACK OH MY GOD. fellas is it gay to program your drones which are just tiny versions of your own altmode to dance funny to Tetris music specifically because it makes your lame ass boyfriend laugh and then keep that function eons after you break up and still remember exactly what the command is? Fellas is it gay to get kidnapped by your ex and then get really excited about all the cool shit he's been making while you were separated? I wish they could've gotten a happy ending man, they could've been so cute together.

I don't ship it romantically but I believe in Grimlock & Arcee qpr. They love each other so so much they would've readily died for each other. I love their dynamic, they're insane 💖

Same goes for Shadowstriker and Soundwave tbh. Decepticon besties, and Shadowstriker being aro kinda just feels right. I like to think they cuddle and talk shit about Shockwave while Sounders blasts heavy metal. They play cod as the most insufferable duo.

Megop in cyberverse is so good because it really feels like they Had a relationship but it was unstable and moved too fast and they just assumed they were on the same page about things without communicating properly until suddenly they were in serious disagreement, and TRIED to work it out in a mature way but they were simply Doomed From the Start. And then it culminates in a whole fucking war but it rages so long, and they are so tired of fighting, and they realize they want to try again because nobody was really to blame for how things ended because they both handled it poorly. I wish they got that chance to try again properly. I wish when Optimus retired to just fuck around and vibe, he could've taken Megatron with him. I wish they could've fallen in love all over again.

Oh also Slipstream and Windblade being lesbian enemies to lovers bait was Fucking Phenomenal and I Love it So Much. They're smug and terrible and I want them to make out. They can make each other worse 💖

G1

I have not seen that much of g1 but I do know a few things are absolute truth.

Soundwave is gay for Megatron. This is arguably reciprocated.

Shockwave is gay for Megatron. This is not reciprocated but it is taken advantage of.

Starscream vacillates between gay for Megatron and trying to kill him. Megatron seems to reciprocate but only a little bit. Enough to keep him alive because he's cute. But megs also gets a lot of cuteness aggression so he feels the need to chuck starscream against the wall every now and then.

Powerglide and Astoria are tied for the pinnacle of robot on human romance in the entire tf franchise with Tracks and Raul, and if none of them come back in ANY tf media, I will riot.

Cliffjumper and Mirage have fucked at least once.

Wheeljack and Ratchet are gay married.

Optimus is bisexual and he loves elita-1 but there is something distinctly homoerotic going on with Megatron.

Conclusion

I like when the robots kiss <3

[shhh-secret-time]

Star Park AU: Stan Marsh Edition

-> Lives on Tegridy Farms with his family. His dad sold their house and moved them out to the valley when Stan was ten. (They're essentially where Marnie is in game.)

-> Sparky is still alive but he's getting older, so he sticks to laying on the porch waiting for Stan to get back

-> Plays football with Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien! Kenny and Cartman will join in sometimes and he practically drags Kyle out to join them.

-> He works for Joja Mart with his sister. They'd both rather work there than be near their dad.

》 He's saving up to move back to the city, or so he says. Truth be told he can't leave behind Sparky or his Mom.

-> He bought his own chicken coop and has a few chickens of his own.

-> He goes to the saloon every night, most nights by himself

-> But on Fridays, after Jimmy's comedy act, him and his band will play!

-> On Sundays when everyone else is in church or doing their own thing. Stan and Kyle will go up to the summit past the railroad tracks and spend hours up there. Catching up and just unwinding.

-> He probably has a mini event that's kind of like Sam's 2 heart event, where he asks the Farmer what type of music they like.

Gift Guide:

Loves: Pizza, Survival Burger, Book of Mysteries, Frozen Tears, Beer (This changes after Heart Event 6)

Likes: Joja Cola, Apples, All Eggs, Void Esscene, Large Milk

Neutral: All Fruit (Except Apples), Coffee, Peppers

Dislikes: Fertilizer, Daffodil, Any Fish, Pink Cake

Hates: Rabbit Foot, Coleslaw, Clay, Beer (After Heart Event 6)

Loved: "Dude! Are you sure?! Man this rules!"

Liked: "Oh, uh thanks! Should I get you something back?"

Neutral: "Cool, I'll find a use for it."

Disliked: "What...is this? Why?"

Hated: "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Given any alcohol after Heart Event 6: "Why would you give me this?! You know I'm trying to stop!"

Heart Event @ 2:

Stan is throwing empty beer bottles at the passing train, they shatter just as the Farmer approaches him. He looks back at them with a grin offering one for them to throw. He mentions that he was drinking with his friend Kenny but he had to go, so now he's just passing time. He's not quite drunk yet but he's tipsy. When the Farmer takes the bottle and throws it he relaxes a little, says that he's glad they're not put off by the behavior. After a little bit of silence, he asks them why they moved to the Valley. There's not a lot of money in farming and then makes a comment about how he fucking hates it. How he feels isolated from the rest of the town sometimes.

-> Feels that way sometimes doesn't it? But at least you have your friends (+)

-> You're literally closer to town than I am, don't your friends come to visit you? (-)

If First Option: He mulls it over and decides you're right. He should he grateful he at least has them. Though lately it feels like they're drifting apart. Stan comments how you must feel lonely being new to town and all.

"Oh well. I guess we can be lonely losers together. Farmer buddies and all that."

If Second Option: Stan doesn't really appreciate the sass. He wasn't looking for a pity party, just wanted to kinda vent. He makes note not to talk about it again.

"Yeah sure. I guess, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."

Heart Event @ 4:

Stan and his friends are playing pool at the tavern, a rare instance where they're all off work and finally get to hang out. He leans over the pool table and sinks another ball, much to Kyle's annoyance. As the Farmer comes in Cartman makes a comment that Kyle is getting his ass kicked and bad. It prompts Kyle to snap at him and shake the pool cue at him. Kenny and Stan laugh a little before Stan realizes you're there. He smiles and gestures for you to come over! Now that you're here they have enough for teams. Farmer is confused because there's already four of them, they make five. Stan whispers in their ear, explaining that Cartman won't play with Kyle anymore. He lost one time and now he's convinced that Kyle cheated. Something about how there's no way Kyle would ever actually win a game fair and square. When you agree he gets excited and before anyone else gets the chance he announces that you'll be on his team!

"Awesome! We're gonna smoke these guys! Kenny wrack 'em! Farmer is with me!"

⚠️ TW: Attempted suicide ahead ⚠️

Heart Event @ 6:

Stan's drinking again. Right next to the railroad tracks but this time he's got one foot on the railroad, rocking back and forth. There's glass bottles around him, unbroken and too many to count. He almost stumbles down to the ground but he keeps himself up. Farmer approaches and that's when they hear the sound of the train coming in, and it's coming fast. Stan had no intentions on moving, in fact he looks like he's about to fall forward willingly. The dead look in his eyes tells them that much. Farmer runs across the field and tackles him into the ground, the train narrowly missing the both of them. Stan lays there having just had the wind knocked out of him. His head is spinning and he feels sick, but he also feels the Farmer on his chest and his back against the ground. He's not dead. Then it hits him, you almost died to save him. You who's kept talking to him despite everything, even when he was being an ass.

"You....you could have gotten yourself killed why would you do that?"

-> I couldn't just stand there and watch you die Stan!

-> Are you crazy?! You almost got us both killed!

-> I don't know...my legs just moved on their own.

-> (Just hug him)

If First Option: Stan starts crying and presses his palms into his eyes. He lays there and sobs, but he feels safe enough to do it.

"Hey Farmer...hic...can you help me to Kyle. I'm scared."

If Second Option: He grits his teeth and digs his hand into the dirt. Stan knows what he did was crazy, he can't be mad at you for snapping like that. You just saved his life. But he didn't ask you to.

"Fuck...I know. Look, just help me get to Kyle. I think I'm gonna be sick."

If Third Option: Stan doesn't know what to say but he thinks he gets it. He just closes his eyes and tries to stop the dizzy ride his drunken state is on. He doesn't want to move but he can't just lay here all day.

"Do you think Kyle is gonna yell at me...if I show up looking like this? Maybe if I just go to sleep I won't have to think about it."

If Fourth Option: Stan freezes he wasn't expecting the Farmer to do that. They should be angry with him, furious. But they're hugging him and clinging to him for dear life. His life. Stan wraps his arms around them and starts to cry. It's the most vulnerable he's been with anyone in a long time.

"Shit...fuck dude...just please don't let me go. I don't wanna go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Heart Event @ 8:

It's early morning when the Farmer steps out, they're greeted with the sound of music. Stan is sitting on their porch playing his old guitar, the acoustic one that's seen better days. When the Farmer gets closer he looks up at them for a moment, unable to look them in the eye for too long. After a moment of silence, he tells them that Kyle got it out of storage for him. Says it'll help him focus on something other than the withdrawals and that Kyle put him in contact with a therapist. He thanks the Farmer for saving his life, and apologizes that they had to see that. As he plays a somber tune again he makes a comment, this is the first time he's been on their farm. First time he's been out this way since they moved into the valley. He confesses that your farm is a lot nicer than his dad's and that maybe farming isn't so bad. Farmer sits beside him and he quietly continues playing, they've never heard him play this song before.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you. You and Kyle shouldn't have to take care of me, but you did. You care and I should remember that. Sparky would have been really upset if I never came home. So thanks...for everything."

When given the bouquet:

"!! I don't understand why you'd choose me, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. So I accept!"

Heart Event @ 10:

Stan is leading Farmer past the railroad tracks, he doesn't even seem bothered much anymore to be here. He leads them up the path that he's taken a thousand times. There he leads them to the summit, his favorite spot to be at. They sit together at the edge if the cliff with their legs dangling off the side. He admits to them that he liked coming up here a lot as a kid, when his dad and him would fight it was his little hiding spot. Then he brought Kyle and it became special. The days where he'd get stupid drunk he'd think about just falling forward like that day with the train. But it's because of those amazing memories with his best friend, he could never bring himself to do it. They're special and he wouldn't want to ruin them for Kyle. It's things like that, that remind him why he's alive. Things like you. He smiles at the Farmer and tells you this. Tells Farmer he wants to continue to make more memories with them so he has a reason. His hand inches closer to theirs, not quite touching. Before he can pull away, Farmer takes his hand and slides closer to him. They rest their head on his shoulder and look up towards the big illuminated moon that's in front of them. Stan wraps his arm around them and lays his cheek on top of their head.

"Every moment with you reminds me why I'm here. I'm not...perfect and I don't think I'll ever understand why you choose to stick around. But I meant what I said, I want you around me always. I can breath with you around."

Heart Event @ 14:

Stan's outside playing with Sparky and Farmer's pet, when he moved in he brought his beloved dog with him. Sparky seems to be getting better every day he's here and Stan couldn't be happier. Farmer walks up with hearts in their eyes, making him a little bashful. He rubs the back of his neck just as Sparky brings the ball back. He mentions that he really loved animals, and that he's always had a soft spot for them. Farmer questions him about his love for Survival Burgers, which he quickly points out that they're made of Cave Carrot NOT beef! After a little while of playing with the pets he sits in the field with them, looking over their hardwork. Stan turns red and starts ranting about how the last time he went to visit his dad, he started nagging him about grandkids. He's embarrassed because Randy has never mentioned it before and it makes him uncomfortable.

"He's such an ass! You'd think he'd stop trying to tell me how to live my life after I moved out. Why doesn't he bother Shelly with this?!"

-> He probably does. We don't have to have kids if you don't want them! I'm just happy you're here with me! Don't let him get to you!

-> Don't let your dad pressure you into anything you're not ready for. It's our relationship and we'll decide when and if we want kids. But if you're anything like you are with Sparky towards kids, I think you'd be a great dad!

If First Option: Stan grins and tells them they're right as always. He leans down and kisses the top of their head. Sparky walks over with the Farmer's pet and lays in their lap. Stan smirks and makes a comment about how they could just get another dog.

"Our farm is big enough for another one right? We could get one or two more puppies. They could help with the sheep and chickens! Help dig holes!"

If Second Option: Stan says he'll think on it. Later that night while Farmer is cleaning up the dishes and putting them away. Stan walks up behind them and wraps his arms around them. He murmurs in their ear that he's been doing nothing but thinking about what they said. The thought of starting a family with them is starting to sound appealing, plus it could be fun raising a mini them. He presses a kiss into their temple.

"You really think I'll make a good dad? I just don't wanna end up like mine...but if you're with me I think I could do it. And if they're anything like you, they'll be an amazing kid."

Random Marriage Quotes!!

"You looked really adorable asleep last night...you also drooled on my arm."

"Having a bad thought day...I might be a little off today. I'm sorry."

"Babe, you got dirt on your face. C'mere, let me clean it. Just let me take care of you butthead!"

"Sparky and I watered the crops today! How do you know how much to give them? I feel like I'm drowning them."

"Fed the animals! They're doing great! Would...you judge me if I took a nap out in the field with them?"

"Hey...real quick...I uh- I love you. I know I don't say it enough and I'm sorry, but I really do."

"Morning. Made you some pancakes! I stole the recipe from my mom! Why do you look scared?"

"Hey babe, I'm going to visit my parents today. Please feel free to come save me when you're done doing what you need to do."

"Are you coming to the tavern tonight? We're playing a new song tonight, I wrote it for you."

"You know, when I was a kid, when I got nervous, I'd throw up. You make me nervous sometimes but I- hey! I'm not going to puke on you, I'm not twelve. Get back here!"

Tag List: @hunnysnoops

[shotmrmiller]

Hello, is this the place anons come to vent about their life? No? Well, here's my current situation. A guy I really liked made me have a situationship with him and I didn't even know, we had been going around with him inviting me over to his house to watch movies or play video games etc. It would always end in sex, even when I was actually looking forward to the movie or video game. As soon as he came, he would go, "Oh God, look at the time! You should go home!" "Well that was great. See ya next time!" I never! In the two years this went on came not even ones!! Sometimes we didn't even had penetration! I just gave him half a blowjob and he would cum. It always made me feel really bad he would always "make it up to me" with taking me out to eat. But either way, it always ended in sex. Fast forward a few days ago he texted me saying he actually wanted to build a friendship with me and get to actually know each other. And that he was very sorry about everything and he wanted to keep talking with me. I said yeah it was fine,but he did actually make me feel like shit. We talked things through, and he agreed to take me out to eat the next day at around 8. He didn't. Didn't answer my calls or texts for the next three days. In fact, he deleted me out of every single social media he had added me in. A couple of days later (this past Thursday), I go to the wedding of a mutual friend we have, and guess what. He has a girlfriend which he already has like 9 months of dating! He had the balls to go the table I was sitting with a couple of mutual friends and introduce her to us! And she's so freaking pretty I feel so horrible. I want to strangle him so bad it's not even a joke anymore i feel like a fool and a complete idiot :'(

and you're not telling her??? that he was cheating??? ohhhh i'd be giving graphic detail of what that pathetic gummy worm looks like just in case she wanna side with that waste of oxygen. i'm saddened for you that it went on for this long. terrible sex, no orgasms and HEAD??? i wouldn't be giving head without reciprocity to NO ONE!! but then again i went through this exact heartbreak back when i was 15 so i saw the light a lot sooner i reckon. (don't) fuck him, fuck the girl he with and focus on ya self. he sounds the type to send you a 2 am wyd text in the middle of the week id block and move on. anytime he wanna slink back like the worm he is you can pretend you don't know the bloke. new phone who dis.

seriously though i'm sorry :( forget what she does or does not look like none of that matters. worthless boys like him will treat you like garbage even if you're beyoncé herself. you nor your looks were the problem here, he was.

wash your hands clean of that filth. good fucking riddance. your broken heart will mend with time but he'll remain someone even his mama grimaces while thinking about. i wish i could give you hugs 🫂 and if i was near you i'd drive around his house with the lights off cuz now it's on sight. hope he ages like milk left out in the sun, that stupid ogre.

much, much love. drink your water, take your meds if you have any and eat well 💗 this too shall pass.

[thebluestbluewords]

ball drop

I don’t actually think that Auradon would have the same cultural celebration that USAmericans do for NYE, but it’s fun to imagine!

*

"I'm going to get worse," Mal announces. "I've been nice for long enough. I tried the princess thing, I've done the whole good fairy routine, and I'm ready to get worse again. I think I deserve it." 

Carlos flicks a piece of popcorn at her. "We all deserve it. You do goodness about as well as a sea monster does spaceflight." 

"Wouldn't a deep-sea monster be well-adapted for space?" Evie wonders aloud, throwing a piece of popcorn up in a gentle arc. It gets stuck in the fairy lights hanging over the bedpost, which might have been her goal. Saving snacks for later is deeply important. "I mean, it's going to be well suited for an environment with deep pressure and minimal friction, right? Space can't be too different from the ocean, environmentally speaking." 

Carlos spins around. "E." he says, with a horror so deep that Mal has a single, heart-stopping moment where she's afraid that her mother is in the room with them. "No." 

Evie giggles. She's too pretty to be real, all bright and bubbly and lit up by the twinkling fairy lights they're not supposed to have in the dorm room. "Yes?" 

He glares. It's probably supposed to be intimidating, but Mal's been thinking of him as the baby of their crew since he actually was a foot shorter than the rest of them, and after facing down her mother, a measly little glare from a pretty boy is nothing. "Space is totally different from the ocean! Water can't exist in a vacuum! Does the term VACUUM of space mean nothing to you?" 

Evie twirls a piece of hair around her fingertip. "I mean, space is big and dark. That's a lot like the ocean." 

"Evie--" 

Evie's nails catch the light like tiny mirrors. She's always put-together, always polished and pretty and perfect. Her nails are still done up from the christmas party they'd attended over the weekend, and the gloss isn't even chipped yet. Mal watches, mesmerized, as she spins the tendril of hair into a perfect curl. A halo. Like one of Saturn's rings. "I like space. My favorite planet is Io." 

"Io isn't even a planet!" 

Evie giggles. "I know. I think I'm getting a head start on Mal's resolution." 

"Hey, you don't get to steal my resolution!" Mal cries. She doesn't really mean it, but there's something awfully fun about complaining just for the sake of it, so she's not going to hold back. "That's mean!" 

"Do so," Evie shoots back. Her tongue is red and wet and she sticks it out at Mal like a red flag. Wicked villains, do not kiss. "I'm stealing it because I'm wicked now. I'm being worse for the new year, and I'm already doing it better than you." 

"Rude," Mal growls, and launches herself up onto the bed. If her girlfriend is gonna start the year off by stealing her resolution, she's obligated to start her year off by being even worse, and stealing a kiss. Or ten. "I'm stealing your virtue this year. I'll defile you on every desk in the library."

"Ooh, will you," Evie sighs. "I'd love that, babe, but see, I'm going to get us banned from the library again. I'm actually putting salami in the vents as we speak, and you just think I'm here talking to you." 

Gods below, Mal adores her. "They'll never trace it back to us."

"They'll trace it back to me," Carlos complains extremely rudely, throwing himself up onto the bed as well and shattering all of Mal's dreams of having a lovely night alone with her girlfriend. "Librarian Falchion blamed me when somebody lit the stacks on fire, and I wasn't even on campus when it happened." He cocks his head in a suspiciously innocent gesture. "I wouldn't light a book on fire. I like books." 

"Boo hoo, baby. Listen," Evie rubs her index finger over her thumb, in a gesture that definitely doesn't make Mal think about what else she could rub with those gorgeous fingers. "Do you hear it? I'm playing the tiniest fiddle ever, and it's a sad song just for you." 

"Fuck off." 

"I'm gonna eat more pasta shapes this year." Jay announces sleepily. He's a fucking baby about staying up late now, and when they try and drag him out for late night mischief, he keeps spouting some nonsense about ""early morning practices"" and ""seriously, Mal, 6amconditionaing"". It's just another way that Auradon's deconditioned them. The forces of goodness are always interfering where they're not needed and ruining Mal's perfectly plotted time for staying up and scheming with her crew. "Fuckin' farfelle. What the fuck does that mean. M'gonna find out." 

"A quest for knowledge!" Mal crows, "A worthy resolution!" 

"Y'can't-- Jay yawns so hugely that she can see the neon blue sour gummies embedded in his molars. "You can't steal this one too. Not allowed." 

"I'll steal all your resolutions. It's part of being worse." 

Carlos kicks her. "I'm making a resolution to annoy Mal more in the new year."

Mal kicks him back. "You can't. You're already maxed out on annoying points." 

"Sure, but you can't steal that one." 

"Can so," Mal scoffs. "I annoy myself every day. Have you seen the shit I've done to get FG to tolerate us? The only thing I could do that's more annoying than sucking up to her in class is like, sucking up to her outside of class." 

"She's in an acapella group, you know," Evie says sweetly. "We could always stop by to see our favorite teacher's performance." 

"I'd rather throw myself out a bus." Mal says, horrified. FG in a sparkly costume is the last thing she wants to spend her free time looking at. Her usual school suits are pastel enough. And singing?? 

"I'd rather throw myself under Mal's bus," Carlos agrees, but it's muffled around his mouthful of popcorn, so he doesn't sound all that serious about it. "For real though, I'm gonna try and be better about remembering my library books this year. The more goodwill I can build up with the librarians, the better." 

Evie nods. "So they'll be less upset when you burn down the library, got it." 

"Hey!" 

She laughs. "No, no, I get it. Trying to build up favor with the librarians is a smart idea. I'm going to work on focusing my energy this year." 

"I have a crystal for that." Mal offers. "It's only a little bit cursed."

"IT BIT ME." Jay says, suddenly awake. "I HAD TO GO TO THE NURSE FOR THAT SHIT." 

"It only bit you a little bit, hush. You were sleeping." 

"Was not." 

"Were so." 

Evie raises her hand "Where was I when this happened?" 

"Debate trip. Agrabah. We went to a cave Mal found in the enchanted forest when you weren't around to tell us no," Carlos says cheerfully, because he's a bastard who likes causing problems on purpose. "Mal said she'd peel my fingernails off and feed them to me with cream cheese, like horderves, if  I told you, but she only made me swear until the end of the year, and I don't think she has time to peel all of my fingernails off before then." 

"What time are we at?" 

"Two minutes til midnight." Carlos reports. "Assuming we're still following Auradon Central time. If we want to switch to Atlantica time zone, we've got two hours and two minutes." 

Evie shoots upright, jerking her soft hair cruelly out of Mal's fingers. "We have to finish saying our resolutions! Serious ones, or else they won't come true." 

"I don't think that's how it works," Mal grumbles, mostly to herself. "They're not real anyway." 

"Shut up," Evie says, planting a graceful hand into Mal's face. "I'm resolving to focus my energy on the things that matter most, and stop spreading myself thin trying to do everything at once. If I'm going to be the youngest fashion designer the kingdom has ever seen, I need to focus more on my designs and my math classes." 

"Gross." 

"For finance reasons," Evie says sweetly. "I'm going to be a bazillionaire. Jay?" 

"Pasta quest. I'm eating every shape of pasta." 

"But not every sauce," Carlos says thoughtfully. "Or every kind of garlic bread. Feels like an oversight." 

"Shut up, library boy," Jay grumbles. "Get over here."

Carlos bounds into the blanket nest. "Make me." 

"That just leaves you, Mal," Evie says, turning towards her. "And you've got forty seconds left, so you'd better make a real resolution." 

"Get worse." 

Evie hits her. 

Oh, her court-appointed therapist is going to love this. Fine. 

"I...." Mal wheedles. "Am going to..." 

Ugh. 

"Work on...." 

"Mal," Evie whines. "Please. The countdown's starting."

"Telling my friends how much I love them," Mal says in a rush. "Ten!" 

"NINE! EIGHT!" Evie picks up the chant, even though she's looking at her with that stupid sappy face that means she's proud, or something. "I love you too, Mal!" 

"FIVE! FOUR!" 

The weight of two boys collides on either side of Mal, crushing her into Evie. 

"THREE! TWO! ONE!" 

"We love you too," Evie whispers, and crushes their lips together in their first kiss of the new year. "Happy new year, my dragon.”

[someprettyname]

＊•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚. ❗❗GOTTA PIN IT❗❗　˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚＊

BEFORE YOU INTERACT

⚠️ This user vents, yaps, whines and rants a lot. ⚠️

⚠️ HANDLE WITH CARE. ⚠️

[ This post is subject to change, everytime i add a point i will reblog it so y'all know ┏⁠(⁠＾⁠0⁠＾⁠)⁠┛ ]

>>> Mira/Nami/any pretty name

Just know that you'd have a special place in my heart of you assign me a unique nickname. That's what my URL and overall blog theme is about 😌 my name is the pretty name hehe :]

>>> I spam reblog often, i have a proper tagging system but just beware of that before you follow me.

When I say spam reblogging i MEAN spam reblogging. Fanarts, analysis, fic (self written and reblogs), interactions with mutuals and others, RPing with blue lockers and/or others, thirsting - EVERYTHING. I DUMP EVERYTHING on here.

>>> Late replies (advance apologies)

If I ever don't reply to something you tagged me in that's because I might've missed it among my other notifs, not because I'm ignoring it. { I try to reply to everything, I love interacting with people. Bear with me, please. } Sometimes, replying to certain things takes me days to a week. So that too. Saying this so you know what you're getting yourself into, i wouldn't want you overthinking my reply time unless we are in a conflict/argument.

>>> SUPER SELECTIVE follow backs.

Sometimes, I love a blog but don't follow it because you might be reblogging stuff I don't want to see on my dash. Just that. No hard feelings. Related to that : If I call you my moot YOU ARE MY MOOT. That's how it is in here, i don't have to follow you back for that. In my mind you are my sweet moot. Period. I'm a believer in "moots in spirit" concept 😌 I don't mind people asking me to be moots, but if I ignore your request please do take the hint. Also, if you're asking me to be moots always send the ask off anon so I can reply privately in case I'm saying no.

>>> DO NOT DM before asking me/until I do it myself.

If I've closed my inbox then comment on any of my post/pinned post to ask me but NEVER DM me before asking me/unless I've given a green flag beforehand. If my ask box is open and you'd rather communicate over DM just shoot me an ask and if I feel like it I'll DM you first. Point to note when you're shooting me an ask for DMing is to be considerate and put the ball in my court rather than making it a yes/no consent question. There's a difference. If you ever DM me without asking and you're someone I've never talked with in DM/discord before then I WILL have to block you. Don't be surprised. As much I'd hate to do that, you've already broken my boundary once and I'm not going to sit and hope you don't do it a second time. I have already compromised once in the past with someone and it turned out ugly.

>>> NOT SPOILER FREE

Don't come at me for not tagging the spoilers.

>>> I reblog NSFW, be warned.

Minors who interact with me, please be responsible. I don't really want to have a MDNI criteria for a few bad and irresponsible cases.

>>> I self ship with multiple characters, do NOT shame me in any way.

Self shipping/thirsting/simping is my way to show an appreciation for a character, it should be obvious that it does NOT reflect how I approach things in real life so when you shame me over it any way (yes, playful jokes included) it puts me in a tough spot. It makes me uncomfortable in my skin, don't do that. Don't be the one who spoils my experience here. I'll ignore such comments, and if you keep doing it again and again know that you'd only be DAMAGING your relationship with me. Period.

>>> Journaling personal thoughts.

This place is my safe space at this point so I'll often write out and post my personal thoughts here. #shitpost - is for general light-hearted stuff/ranting, thoughts that I'm fine sharing with others. #chatter - random passing thoughts (I'm mostly being crackhead in that tag honestly) , not meant for others to see but it's fine if you see and comment on it. Idm. #diary - self explanatory, can have heavy traumatic stuff under the tag, again - not meant for others to see but it's fine if you see and comment on it. Idm. If I don't want people to see something/interact with a particular post I'll mention it in the post!! Another pointer is that I'm a sanatani through and through so I'll post about stuff related to hinduism in general (occasionally), if that triggers you or you're not a believer feel free to block the tags #desiblr and #hindublr.

[shallowseeker]

Why is Dean so stressed in 14x17?

(We know why.)

Ahem:

The visuals of this are pretty goddamned painful

And WTF is UP with these foreshadowing lyrics??? soft country music -> Jackie Stewart's Maybe Tomorrow>

We had a quarrel Like lovers do Still I can't make my heart Believe we're through For I still love you With all my heart And life means nothing When we're apart Maybe tomorrow When comes the dawn Maybe the dark clouds Will all be gone Maybe tomorrow The sun will shine Maybe tomorrow You'll still be mine

etc etc

This could be foreshadowing...OR maaybe Dean n' Cas actually had a smallish weird fight about Cas leaving again.

I mean, Cas is lying about a ton of stuff (Empty deal, Felix the snake, searching for God), and Dean is pretty good at pinging that, even when he tries to swallow it down and overlook it.

///

And Dean?

Dean is so stressed out that not only do Mary and Jack notice, but they're taking actions to calm him down/cheer him up

Sam prooooobably knows why Dean is unhinged, so he quickly volunteers to get outta Dodge and pick up the food. (I feel ya, Sammy. You are me in this moment.)

Meanwhile, Dean struggles to win Mouse Trap. We get a closeup of the foot kicking the "audience" eye. NOTE that in the actual game, it's just a plain silver ball.

Or at least that's how I remember it and have always seen it. If anyone know of a version that was released with an eye, hit me up.

Otherwise I'm gonna assume it was completely intentional, and Dean is trying to have a normal family game night without "us" interfering. EDIT: It's just the sheen/visual trick of the light, but the metaphor still stands!

<Cue Dean screaming over sucking at the game>

He's, uh, wound pretty tightly today, actually.

We can see that from Jack and Mary's following convo, they're the ones tag-teaming to mollify Dean. (Dean, who is stressed because Cas is AWOL and acting cagey and probably not answering his phone again.)

JACK: "I thought this was supposed to relax him."

Ahahaha, oh Mary. "Let's give Dean a little game and he'll relaxies and be nicies to us!"

I'd wager that Cas definitely isn't answering his phone, and everyone knows something's up with them, and they're tiptoeing around Dean because of it.

///

Aside/// Tragedy: Jack & Mary get along really well!

Just gonna point out that Jack is actually VERY comfortable with her in general.

He spent MONTHS with her at war. She was his advisor. Given that he ran away from TFW a few weeks after his birth, much of his formative parenting was done by Mary Campbell Winchester, not Sam and Dean (nor Cas)!

She checks in with Jack, but she doesn't push. Result? Genuine, blunt Jack emotions:

(MARY is thinking "FUCK, first my oldest son is acting like a basket-case and screaming at a toddler's game and now my grandson is acting like this. FML. Cas, come home now. Plz for the love of all that is holy.")

Tragically, because of the trust and comradery between them, Mary offers something the others don't: permission to vent.

(MARY: Jack, if you wanna talk shit about everyone, I love shit-talk. )

Funnily enough, Mary doesn't use a lot of words here. It's a partially silent communication. "If you ever wanna vent..." (gentle head tilt like, 'y'know.')

JACK: You're here. I know. (silent appreciative looks, then Jack makes a head motion like 'c'mon let's go').

And ACTUALLY.

Jack reacts genuinely well to that. He and Mary...get each other. He feels comfortable telling her what he really thinks.

See, I think this emotional permissiveness that we see with Mary is devastating. Jack tends to get more genuinely irritable and say what he thinks with Mary (also Dean n' Cas). Even when he's soulless and working hard to "perform" soulfulness, his real irritation slips out with her.

Tragically, that means she was probably always more risk with Jack. Because he's more comfortable throwing his real, ugly emotions at them.

(Sam on the other hand is more cerebral and perhaps at times...unintentionally distant because it's all so eloquent, careful, scripted.)

///

DEAN: (swallowing his nerves and trying to be cheerful and teasing) All right! Winchester game night is a go! Soon as Sammy gets back with two double-pepperoni meat blasters...and a pineapple.

Jack seems appreciative of the banter here. He doesn't wanna be pushed right now.

///

Dean is weird when Sam doesn't pick up his phone right away

When Donatello lands in Nick-shaped peril, Dean tries to call Sam. ONCE. And it gets an...out-of-proportion reaction from Dean.

(It's also...a lot like John's voicemail in Phantom Traveler. "This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean. He can help.")

He's prickly:

SAM: "You've reached Sam Winchester. If this is an emergency, call my brother."

DEAN: Sam's not answering his phone. This whole damn town's a dead zone.

That's...not exactly true, as least what we've see so far in the series? They make calls from the bunker a lot.

*coughs* This lends some credence to the fact that his prior stress (the stress that Jack and Mary were working together to help) is about his, uh, phone. Phone calls. Phone calls not being answered, even.

READ: This is about Cas. Who hasn't been answering his phone. And Dean? Dean rationalizes that maybe his calls aren't landing because of where he is.

///

There's some truth to Dean's woes/anxiety. When Cas leaves, bad things tend to happen. And hey, they happen when Cas is there too, sure, but with Cas there, Dean can't help but feel more resilient, more equipped to take on whatever-it-is.

///

But yeah, it's looking like Dean and Cas maybe already had a little, reserved/restrained fight prior to Jack killing Mary. Dean was acting...really weird. Forced.

[space-blue]

I wish episode 8 hadn't dropped the ball with Vi. So many things in that episode that she should've been grappling with just do not get touched on. In episode 7, Ekko tells Cait that the enforcers are all in Silco's pocket. She tells him he's wrong and convinces him to go along with her plan to take the gem to topside. Except Marcus proves Ekko right by shooting him and snatching the gemstone. If Marcus had aimed for Ekko's head, he would be dead, and Vi would've lost even more of her family. You'd think Vi would be furious at Cait for this - it was her denial that Marcus could be working for Silco and her plan to walk the bridge back to topside, that got Ekko almost murdered. But none of this is brought up in episode 8.

Vi also discovers that Cait is a Councillor's daughter. For all Vi knows, Caitlyn's mother could have been on the Council during Vander's rebellion. She could have been one of the people who gave the order to massacre the rebels, including Vi's parents. Again, Vi does not grapple with this revelation at all. We get one comedic scene of her stunned face in the bedroom when Cait's parents enter and the realization hits her, but nothing deeper. It's not like it would be out of place or out of character for Vi to lash out at Caitlyn about all this either. By the time Cait returns to the bedroom, Vi has had plenty of time to let all of this stew - that Caitlyn has not only been hiding the fact that she's a daughter of a Councillor (again, possibly one of the people who sanctioned the murder of Vi's parents), but also unintentionally got Ekko shot, and was a big reason Vi had to leave Jinx and Ekko on the bridge and now doesn't know if either of them are alive.

And that's another thing. We don't get an inkling about what Vi thinks happened to Jinx or Ekko. Is she just crossing her fingers and hoping either of them didn't get blown to bits? She should be SICK with worry. So much good material to depict the fraughtness of Caitvi's relationship and plant the seeds for Vi furiously abandoning Caitlyn later. Their dramatic breakup scene would've hit a lot harder if it not only stemmed from Vi's anger at the Council's actions, but towards Cait's actions as well. Yet all we get is the "real monster showed up" scene where Vi opens up her heart to the girl who got Little Man shot and Pow Pow left behind. Will never not be disappointed by Vi getting butchered for Caitvi to happen. Sorry for leaving this long ask in your inbox, but you are one of the few people critical of Caitvi on here so I thought I'd vent ✌

But none of this is brought up in episode 8.

Vi also choses Cait over Jinx once she attacks them, which always struck me as strange, as Ekko is the one who wants to go to the Council, and Vi is the one Jinx wouldn't hurt. That's fine as a choice, but the way it is never addressed either—that Vi choses to stay for Jinx and immediately reneges on that decision—sort of makes her sound very hypocritical at the diner scene. If you wouldn't stay for Jinx then, why should she believe you'd stay for her now? It makes Silco sound absolutely right when he says Vi would abandon her as soon as she realises she isn't Powder. Silco is the one who never let her go even when she screwed his plans over and fucked with his underlings and consistently made his life harder. He knows what she's like and still loves her, something that Vi has never proven she can do. IMO Vi misses Powder and Jinx is really correct in the way she sets up the table. She feels it too.

My issue with the way this is handled and the examples you brought up is that the show doesn't seem to be self aware. It's backpedaling a lot and letting Vi coast on her stream of strange decision, refusing to give her an actually consistent drive.

One minute she's sacrificing it all for Jinx, the next she's throwing her under the bus to ZERO benefit in front of the entire council. Then she promises she'll save Powder, but instead goes to pick up a fight with Sevika? For no clear purpose than revenge. And after that she still has the guts to say they can run away and be all right?

I like hypocrite Vi. It's my canon reading of her. But I dislike that the show doesn't make it obvious this is what they're going for. She feels aimless in her character development. If the romance with Cait had been removed in favour of showing how unhinged and fucked in the head prison time had made her, Vi would be infinitely more enjoyable imo in these last two arcs.

Vi also discovers that Cait is a Councillor's daughter.

Yeah, I've covered that in my 'Why I don't really like Cait' ask that turned into a 'how to make a more compelling caitvi' meta. I recommend reading this version if you don't mind lengthy discourse, since my friend Coyote made some really interesting points

The relevant excerpt here is :

This ties into another aspect of Cait which I dislike, which is again completely involuntary and an artefact of the show's strict timetable. She doesn't share anything about herself. Not even to Vi. We virtually know nothing about her except that she likes to shoot guns and looks up to chief-ACAB Grayson (my beloved). Even on the bed scene with Vi, it's only ever Vi opening up and sharing. And you may say, "yeah but we only see a glimpse, I'm sure Cait shared stuff too". And yes, sure... But Vi is making a comment about the place when they break in... That reveals she has NO idea it's Cait's home! That's one of the thing I'd suggest editing out to give the impression that Cait has explained things and that Vi doesn't learn she's a Councillor's daughter until after breaking her into her own home. Cait learns about Vi's past, again and again, and shares nothing about herself. Even when faced with the Firelights, she "knows a friend on the Council" but fails to mention her mom is there too. In front of Ekko, I get, but... What does Vi know about Cait? Canonically???

(Nothing. Vi seems to know nothing about Cait, which means we have nothing but looks to go by as to why she'd feel attracted to her, a cop and a 1%ter).

For all Vi knows, Caitlyn's mother could have been on the Council during Vander's rebellion. She could have been one of the people who gave the order to massacre the rebels, including Vi's parents.

She's certainly among those who order Grayson to "squeeze harder" in search of Vi herself.

Again, Vi does not grapple with this revelation at all. (...) Caitlyn has not only been hiding the fact that she's a daughter of a Councillor (again, possibly one of the people who sanctioned the murder of Vi's parents), but also unintentionally got Ekko shot, and was a big reason Vi had to leave Jinx and Ekko on the bridge and now doesn't know if either of them are alive.

Hear Hear!!

Vi just completely ceases to have character development. She's angry, she punches, she betrays, and it's all mostly irrelevant and happens because the plot has to move forward. She doesn't question Cait's naivety even when following her massively backfires. She says things and then does the opposite. She uses her one opportunity to speak to the Council to entirely betray her sister despite Cait wanting to help, despite her entire character hinging on wanting to give a better future for her sister...

And the issue is that none of it feels like it's done consciously or voluntarily.

She should be SICK with worry.

But instead she is napping with a councillor-enforcer in her bed telling her stories of her childhood while apparently never minding not knowing the first thing about this girl in front of her besides 'she's pretty and utterly naive and her trust in Marcus nearly got us all killed 30min ago'. Yeah.

So much good material to depict the fraughtness of Caitvi's relationship and plant the seeds for Vi furiously abandoning Caitlyn later. Their dramatic breakup scene would've hit a lot harder if it not only stemmed from Vi's anger at the Council's actions, but towards Cait's actions as well.

What is there even to break up though?? I feel like the show would have greatly benefited from a different, much slower dynamic between them, with a dark Vi refusing and repelling a more just and shrewd Cait. If Vi spent 4 episodes building basic trust, it would be a lot more interesting if she realised she's grown to like Cait as a person when Jinx is demanding she kill her to get Powder back.

She could have her epiphany at a moment where her darker side should have rejoiced : one less enforcer in the world. Her family wronged me at every turn! Without the Kiramman, Vander might still be alive... And yet... And yet this girl has been nothing but principled, helpful, dedicated, and helped her, even if it helped her own goals of solving her investigation too. She broke her own society's rules to find out the truth (a flaw in Piltover pov but a compliment from a Zaunite, perhaps).

Leading Vi to realise with some complex feelings that yeah, she can't harm her, she likes her, which could prompt a touch more disgust on Jinx's part. Jinx hoping she might have read too much into it, that Vi wouldn't actually like an enforcer... A way of addressing that outrageous preference in a Zaunite as fucked and destitute as Vi.

They could have had Vi learn early that Cait is a Kiramman and resent her. They could have discussed that, instead of monsters on the wall.

They could have shown Cait be confronted not only for being a Piltie, but for being a Kiramman. Realising that her family inheritance isn't just one of wealth and tedious politics, but of death and enslavement, to others. That her lack of involvement, her escapism, just perpetuates the status quo in which all of Zaun suffers and people like Silco become their only hope.

But neither Cait nor Vi do much self reflection.

Will never not be disappointed by Vi getting butchered for Caitvi to happen.

Same, precisely because, as I started to show just above, I think a really juicy and compelling Caitvi dynamic exists, where they both change a lot through getting to know each other. It's just sad that the rushed romance ended up making them both weaker and the show left with Cop/Traitor as their main queer representation, and everyone guzzled it happily. Which is why idk how to feel about them ultimately. Is every representation good representation? Did we need more cop lesbians? How would the fandom have reacted if Cait was straight? If Vi flirted aggressively with Sevika instead?

Just thinking of this post constantly when Cait comes up :

Don't worry I gotchu for venting... Arcane season 1 is near perfect, and some character arcs just straight up are. But I feel like there's a real ball dropped in the last act, mostly around them bailing on their own politics. I think we all tend to be more nitpicky about criticism when a show flies so close to the sun and perfection.

We gush and gush and deconstruct it to atoms, only to realise then that there were better ways to do it once you get to rebuilding it yourself.

As per my other linked asked above, I think the team did their absolute best considering the density of characters, themes and storylines involved. It was also their first season, and it seems like a lot of learning was done in the process.

I have hope for season 2, but I'm not certain the enforcer issue will be addressed to our liking. I'll be going in there to see my other blorbos. Neither Cait nor Vi are a compelling drive to me, but it's fine.

[lunarstormsart]

Welp. I'm still stuck on what to post first due to...I dunno, a 20+ year worth of backlog so the decision paralysis is real LOL

So, to ease into things I'm gonna pinch an old OC meme I did back in 2017 from the DeviantArt days. Yes, it's old as balls but the blorbos are very much relevant and that you'll see regularly on this blog. Let's fucking gooooo

Your Persona!

Your character that represents you!

I've never had a "persona" or anything, but if I were to choose someone to represent me, that would one of my Naruto OCs, Hikawa Shinkirou. I've had him since 2010 and he's very near and dear to me due to the hardwork and intricacies that I put into his story, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that I really related to Shin. Being cut off from emotion, at risk of being destructive, affecting those around and keeping them away due to it. It just really hit close to home when I was struggling with my own expression of emotions back then, and I grew closer to him after that.

And then came the healing.

When I started to heal, coincidentally that was when we were talking more and more about their Part II, when he finally receives his own healing. Expressing his emotions, accepting them, not fearing them or himself. He obtains all of these things, and with them he finds the determination and passion to be able to go after what, and who, he has wanted all along. That's very symbolic to me, and I'm proud of us both.

Your 'Guardian Angel'!

You protect yourself through them, vent through them etc, they keep you strong. You probably have a deep emotional connection with this character.

Okay, he would literally be the shittiest Guardian Angel, but this position undoubtedly goes to the main character to one of my stories, Zenchi Tanren. At the time (2010) I never thought I'd really ever have a "vent" character due to wanting to make my characters separate from myself, but that all changed after made this kid, especially his development from then on. I've gone through a lot with this peanutbutter child, from using his story to express the personal pain of crushing guilt and self-hatred to establishing a happy ending for him that is filled with forgiveness, acceptance, and the chance to start over.

Like for my fiancee who owns his counterpart/love interest, Tan was a go-to character of mine for roleplay and art, and I put my absolute all into him. He, too, was the first that I really worked my hardest on compared to the mains of my other stories, and he was the first ever that I allowed myself to actually live through in order to, well, keep myself happy and safe in my darkest moments. It's been a few years since I've given him proper attention due to switching the focus over to my girlfriend's lovely stories, but he will forever remain significant to me.

Your Sunshine!

A character that never fails to make you smile. Maybe they have bright colors. Or maybe they are very cute. A character who's your own personal sun.

That, my friends, would be Matsunaga Rihto, the World's Biggest Texas Cinnamonroll.™ He's my main character from one of wrenandpaper's stories, which is a lovely slice of life that centers around her protagonist and the academy that they attend—where introversion and extroversion are interestingly a prime theme and divides the students into those factions to cater to their personalized needs.

Although he is one of the most popular attendees there, he is incredibly pure-hearted despite the internal struggles that he faces. Also, since I don't have severe anxiety nor have ever really experienced it to such extreme levels I had never given that to any of my characters until I created Rihto, and man, do I feel it secondhand whenever I'm doing anything with him.

I really relate to his overthinking and intrusive/deprecating thoughts, but in spite of what those thoughts are constantly telling him he's always trying his best and it just makes me really happy every time I think about him!

The Odd One!

The oddball character you're not sure why you have, but you treasure them deeply. Perhaps because they're just so weird?

It took me ages to figure out who to put here, but after a little help from the gf I decided to go with a character from one of my stories, Eguchi Funato. At the beginning he was never apart of the original plan for the story, I created him—while Wren created his best friend/love interest, Hayase—on the fly due to some inspiration from a UK show called Skins, but now, I absolutely adore him.

Fufu's so devoted and self-sacrificial despite some of his own shit that he has to deal with, and honestly, him and Hayase's story together is so beautifully tragic I love it so much. I never thought I'd get so attached to him, but Fufu is definitely one of my top favorites from that story.

The One of Sentimental Value!

Okay, now who has the most sentimental value? Maybe a character you received from a friend, or who you have fond memories of. Perhaps they're very old?

That would be Toshimitsu Miriamu, my main Naruto OC. I made her when I was about 13-14, and boy, has she gone through a lot. From originally being a self-insert Final Fantasy character, to more of a separate universal character when I was introduced to anime, to being an official Naruto original character. She's undergone a lot of changes throughout the years and although my attachment has wavered during certain hard points in my life, Miri has become a very precious part of my creative world.

Those edits (yes, kids, back in the day screenshot edits and bases were a huge thing in the OC/FCverse, and that was my prime medium at the time outside of traditional) on the right probably took me a whole day or two with my old program when I was younger, whereas the left piece took me only a few hours. I'm so proud to see how far she has grown and developed, and proud of myself for sticking with her, I'm excited to find out what the future holds for her! 💜

The Fancy One!

Your flashiest character! Probably the prettiest one or the one with the fanciest design.

This also took me a while to decide since I typically go with more casual/simple designs for my characters, but after a certain darling of mine puffed up and let her wrath rain down, I hurriedly went with one of my RWBY OCs, Eris Spindel!

I know the whole "gothic-lolita" thing isn't anything new, but it was new to me and from her style down to her physical condition she is probably one of the greatest detailed characters that I have—if not the most. Her design came out exactly how I pictured it and I'm just really super proud of her! I love my fancy, badass daughter!

The Rare One!

'The rarity'. How about a character you're so surprised you actually managed to get. You probably won't be letting go of them anytime soon!

Another one that took forever to decide fghjkl since any character that I create usually has purpose! But, after my dear elaborated the various ways that this rarity could mean, I settled on another character from one of her stories, Matsunaga Ryoto, who also happens to be Rihto's older brother!

I didn't think I'd get that invested in him since he was simply intended as an antagonist at the beginning—and still is mostly, but then y'know, even more development happened—but now I really enjoy him.

I chose Ryoto because he was the first psychologically driven/complex character that I had made in a few years since my own stories before switching over to focus on the wife's. I just find him really interesting, and I love his growth as a character. Also, I'm kinda proud of his design and his stupid hair that I somehow managed to achieve!! So yeah, I think that makes him a rarity! He'd think so too, as someone with inflated self-importance and ego would.

The Fandom Character!

You heard me! Everyone's got one, fork them over!

Well I mean...you've already seen a few, but I'll give you another! I typically focus on my own original story characters, but from the very limited fandoms that I treasure I have a ton of characters in them! Sooo, I had a lot to choose from, but in the end I decided to go with one of my fairly recent Naruto OCs, Mizuno Tsutsuji!

I...made her half on sheer impulse and half with purpose but I really, really like her! I'm really proud of Tsuji's design and creating her has helped me revamp and solidify one of my oldest clans—which includes the other older characters connected to it as well. She started a chain reaction! So, yeah, I'm excited for her, and her love interest's, development!

The Newbie!

Okay who just joined your family of characters? Let's see them!

Like my girlfriend, I have a handful of characters at the time that were in early stages of development, but Zarah was probably the most established out of all of them! Once again, she's a character from one of the beautiful stories that Wren's working on, and a member of the main group even if she's mainly concerned about her counterpart. She's down atrocious, your honor.

The amount of characters that I have with pink hair are close to none, so it was interesting having that color as a requirement to her concept, and, it looks really good with her other colors! I'm just really happy with her design and excited for her development when that comes around!

And there you have it! Some things have changed since then in terms of art style and many more characters having been added to the OC roster, but some has stayed just as they are. I hope you've enjoyed this little walk down memory lane with me and getting to know some of my babies!

[justoutsideofdoncaster]

21:11 19/03/25

Blog #24

The months going so fast. I feel very busy.

I am disappointed but not surprised. Hurt again. Angry. But I knew this was going to happen almost. There’s that victimising part of your brain that makes up these scenarios, and I tell myself to stop feeling sorry over things that haven’t even happened. Stop fantasising. But also, they prepare you. That’s really what a lot of it’s for. To prepare you for when someone hurts your feelings. So you can say I knew it. So you can brush yourself off. I don’t know. I’m just so annoyed because I forgot. I let myself believe there’s no way she’d do this. I would never do that to her. Out of everything that’s important she values this, so surely she’d know how important it’d be. That’s the only way she has any sympathy so surely this one thing she’d get. But no. She’s so so so selfish, self centred. How could I forget? That’s how this relationship works. She puts herself first, I put her first. I upset her, I apologise. She upsets me, I move on. Because she’s never wrong, it’s never her fault, I’m being dramatic. The worst part is is that I didn’t want her to come. I hate hanging out with her. I hate babying her. I hate when she’s drunk and stupid and winy. So I’m relieved she’s not coming. But it still eats away at me that I will never get vindication. I will never get an apology. “Don’t be mad” “it’s not worth it” not a single I'm so sorry. And then she has the nerve to say “I’d rather do something just the two of us.” “You know I’d be anxious-“ It’s MY birthday? How are you still making this about you??? Insane. She’s so blind to it. I’ve realised she’s my at-home version of A. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come either, but once again it would still hurt deeply. I keep letting this happen. People keep disappointing me and annoyingly I'm aware it’s partially my own fault. But at least I have self awareness.

sorry that was all a big vent. My heart felt so hot earlier. This has made me feel better. I know I'm going to have a good birthday. There’s a few people I know I can rely on, and I love them even more for it. I was thinking of going to the theme park on my birthday, I want to, but I don’t know if I’m going to be rushing too

Yesterday was amazing. It was really sunny, like actually close your eyes and feel the suns warmth sunny. Me and H drove up to the peaks with my dog and I took him on one of the walks I sometimes do with mum. Ended up making a great choice, it was beautiful! We had a really nice time, pub after. Today I went back home again, because I didn’t have uni and it was sunny again. I attempted to bake banana bread. Awful job. It was sort of edible, although I think my family would disagree. I’m usually pretty crap at baking, which sucks because I love it so much. Took my dog out again. Didn’t do much uni work, that’s a job for when I get back. On the train now! Home soon :)

I can’t stop eating! I hate my body! I’m back up on my weight again. My bday party is in three days. I’m going to starve. I don’t care. I want to be skinny for myself and also for him. He doesn’t eat much. And also her. She pisses me off. I want to be skinny so she can see that. I want to be 55 and I’m just not putting in any work. I hate my body at the moment. Back to ONE meal a day please. Please. The ball is in 9 days. I can drop some weight in that time. PLEASE LIL. PLEASE. I need to not only think this after I’ve binged. I need to think this when I’m hungry. In the mornings. Skip breakfast. First meal is hardest. Please please please please please

[ducknotinarow]

87 Mikey - Mun talks about the Muse

| Mun talks about the Muse. Send one of the following to ask the mun… (please specify muse for multis)

You think I pick one of the Mikeys I in truth love more or rather am far more familiar with but thats also why I wanna do 87 Mikey first personally speaking. I feel he's kind of the more different one out of all my Mikey's even back when I used to write for Rise before decided it was to hard to write for a series i just didn't like XD Anyway back to the original party dude uwu

✍ Favorite thing about writing the muse?

Compared to 03/12/SF and MM Mikey 87 Mikey to me at least feels like he's just a tad more mature he isn't really slotted into the 'baby' of the family roll that would become Mikey's placement later one. There is unofficially stated that Mikey may even be older, in terms of age order. Placing him as second oldest after Leo. But also still kind of given the usual role as seen as youngest based on how the others can treat him at times. Mikey still the goof ball of the family but this Mikey dose feel older like he kind of knows better when to goof off and when not. It just makes for a different vibe when i do write the 87 version of Mikey

👀Favorite thing about the muse’s appearance?

unlike later iterations 87 has nothing really to set the turtles apart when it comes to thier design outside weapons and colors. Which shows considering all the miss coloring mishaps in the original series XD

I do however like the more round look the turtles have often referring to them as being jelly bean shape seeing how they wanted to make this show more kid friendly that dose just seem aid in the design

🌌Favorite alternate version of the muse?

there is no AU versions of 87 Mikey

💕Favorite ship for the muse?

Mikey is like the one turtle I feel I mainly enjoy tcest ships for because outside that? I have no one else I like to ship him with even Mikey's cannon partner i just don't care for if im honest XD

that being said I preferer Leo and Mikey the most in 87 (and others but we aint talking about that) Mikey being more mature is funny because he's often more the voice of reason at times and far more sympathy to others. Leo's not weighed down by resonplibilty in the 87 series but you do see these two easily on the same page a lot. And I just enjoy that.

The only other charater in 87 I ship Mikey with? Is Mondo it's hard not to esp cause they legit were dreaming of each other? Raphael even calls that romantic sure he was teasing but come on? Mikey and Mono get along so well in the 87 series they just bring out a side of Mikey you would expect to see more it's like Mondo reminds Mikey he can have more fun

💔Least favorite ship for the muse?

Kala would be it XD I just don't really care for her if im honest shes very one off to me and I don't really see much else to come from here. Unlike Mona where I can see some potential for her coming back, Kala? not really XD and I hope she stays gone pfft sorry Mikey.

💢Something about the muse that annoys you?

imma be honest? I got nothing, I love 87 Mikey he really is enjoyable to me. I know he don't get much love on my blog but I really do just find him to a comfort to see on screen.

😈Worst thing you’ve ever done to your muse?

I think i've been very nice to 87 mikey if im honest? The worst thing I could say would when he got drunk and kind of flirted with Von. It wasn't even him meaning to flirt more him just being so annoyed at how she well lets Don get away with. Mikey was the one Don vented to about his heart break over April that lead to his blow out with Raph and then his stupid plan when Von was coming to see him. Only for Don to pretty much ignore her? It's not even like Mikey feels for her in that way he just hates seeing her allow it and Don not do a thing to fix it XD but it did make Don feel threatened by Mikey and he hates that in truth ;3;

😂Funniest thing that’s ever happened to your muse?

Being Casey's wingman, there is just something about Mikey and Casey relationship I love between them.

But the fact he picked up on Casey's own crush on Raph when this dude is well always wearing a mask for one and seems to only ever be focused on jaywalkers and the like I think its funny how quick Mikey pegged him for being gay uwu

Which in turn sort of bites Mikey in the ass cause hes now like the marriage consular for Raph and Casey, cause he helps them he also has the same role for Don and Von XD and I think it's funny in truth.

💡 What inspires you to write the muse?

in comparison to 87 Raph i'll admit that I do need to watch the show in order to really be able to pick up Mikey XD Or read the run of the comics going on those have helped a bit as well when I think about it. Mainly cause he is just a bit different for one so i need to have a good grip on his character before I go on in with any replies sent his way.

📷 Favorite picture/screencap of your muse?

His lil dance here, I love that its used in Shredders revenge as well. XD I dunno it's cute is all

📑 Favorite part of your muse’s backstory?

I haven't gone too deep on this Mikey in truth so really I guess that I like Mikey is far more sympathic towards humans Like Leo is. Mikey not only wants to do whats right by others but clearly wants to understand them. Maybe it's because he has spent his whole life consuming human media that it makes him have some idea about them or maybe Mikey just feels that showing empathy will someone get humans to do the same.

He's not all wrong they have some human friends after all who would even try and save them if they need it like how they help humans out all the time. Proving Raph wrong when he was being prickly over that same matter.

Mikey just truly is the heart of the turtles I feel and he shows it in many ways.

📝 Favorite headcanon for your muse?

Mikey being empathic to others, it just makes for him to be a good support in many situations I would say

Mikey is the cook in the family, hes often making Pizza so him being the one to be the cook makes sense and I feel it just gose well with him being empathic and such

Mikey knows the best thing to make his brothers when they are upset. Later he learns this for others Like Casey and Von and Summer and eventually Ariel as well ;3;

Mikey is genderfuild in this verse as well but it's not something he is aware of do to it not being made known at this time. Mikey dosen't think much on it he tends to think his gender stuff is turtle related so he hasn't ever really put a second to thinking about it. But shows in a few ways since he dosen't care if hes not refered to in male pronouns and such.

😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore?

at best his girlfriend haha XD theres like nothing else I can think of that comes close to being openly ignored is all.

🔮 What do you see in your muse’s future?

i'll be honest im not really sure? I think Mikey will keep trying to help people how ever he is able to. I think he generally loves doing it if thats as being a hero or just being a good friend it makes Mikey happy to feel he is able to be there for others I feel.

I think he'll love becoming an uncle to Summer and Ariel and will often offer to watch them at any chance given just cause he likes spending the time around the two babies ;3;

Maybe seeing how 87 humans are later aware of the turtles and having them run around with out covering up they are turtles is a thing Mikey can have his own pizza shop one day uwu I think he'd enjoy that making pizza for others uwu

🔥 Unpopular opinion about your muse?

XD I dunno tbh? maybe that the surfer dude vide dosen't fit him I think it dose considering his good vibes and such if you ever met a big time surfer person you would see how that fits with Mikey just fine. not quite like a hippe vibe though I see why people compare those but Mikeys just very chill and goes with the flow.

💭 Favorite memory of the muse?

Briefly mentioned but in general? I just love Mikey's friendship with Casey, where in like 03 Mikey is far more a like younger sibling to Casey in 87 it feels a bit different likely due to 87 Mikey coming off as older for one but Casey seems to see Mikey in a different matter in the 87 verse. Casey looks to Mikey for advice and help when it came to exploring his crush on Raph. Even letting Mikey dress him up again for his and Raph's first date.

Of course I can't ever forget how Mikey had Casey's side when it came to Casey being upset with Raph about the whole food matter. Mikey understood Casey being so upset with Raph and even explained to his brother how he was in the wrong about the whole matter and why Casey was hurt in the first place at that. So when Casey was feeling petty and brought brownies for Mikey to try? yeah he indulged XD

They have this very cute dynamic between them and I think it's nice that Casey has a friend among the turtles outside of Raphael uwu

😩 Hardest thing about writing the muse?

In truth the more tame nature this Mikey carries would be what I can struggle with at times. As stated before 87 Mikey is very different from the other mikeys on my page. Where he got some main points that match he dosen't have that bratty younger brother character trait to him so it dose tend to be trouble on what his reaction would be cause well he still very mikey he aint got that part of him. Which is a trait im used to so not having it can make it hard when writing him XD

⌨ What’s a situation you’ve always wanted to RP with the muse?

I know its been settled on Von's end BUUUT I would like to RP out the fall out of Mikey's drunk flirting with Donnie. Donnie got jealous of course and even upset with Mikey but we never explored that and I think we should uwu Sure Mikey fights with his brothers but he never real deals with any fall out with them. Like Raph and Don have but thats different cause well it's Raph and Don. This is Mikey so its not something that happens as often or can be easily mended I feel.

I think Mikey needs to be there for Casey with this Summer stuff going on, of course Raph is here but I think Casey needs someone outside of Raph, maybe in that between time from Summer first showing up to Casey coming into the lair. And since Casey tends to listen to Mikey or consider what he has to say? i think it be good for him ;3;

🎭 How similar are you and the muse?

XD oh literally nothing, outside liking pizza maybe? but thats like the best I can come up with XDD

[localgremlinboy]

some more silly rogues’ headcannons I thought of! Thank you everyone for the validation on the last ones, it made me smile! :D

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

- they all have a Minecraft server together that's utter madness! Riddler has perfected redstone and he makes puzzle riddle traps in game, it drives Joker INSANE. Ivy goes around planting giant trees and flowers without asking. And Bane has a nice little house and no one dares ruin it, it brings him so much joy.

- Scarecrow always has chapstick on him, it's mango flavored

- Riddler has a tamagotchi, he will cry if it dies. If you're the goon that has to watch it while he's in Arkham, be scared.

- Harvey still posts on his Twitter, Twoface has an invite only after dark account. He just reposts memes everyone else has already seen and overshares random personal information and middle school level poetry. Also Harvey & Twoface are currently in a four year long tweet war about an episode of Law and order

- Out of all the rogues, Joker owns the most shoes. He has a storage unit full of racks of different tailored costumes, shoes, and makeup. He wears an expensive french brand of makeup he has to ship to Gotham, and he doesn't do any crimes without wearing his lucky lipstick brand

- Scarecrow loves animal crossing, his island is decked out and Halloween themed. He hosts parties with the rogues on his island

- Riddler set up a VPN & free cable/wifi for all the rogues to use so they can stream whatever, but you have to answer a riddle to get the password. Joker hates it but he also needs to watch the new criminal minds reboot before Harley spoils it

- one time during a party, the rogues managed to convince a very drunk Harvey & Twoface to sing/reinact songs from phantom of the opera and later jekyll and hyde (Twoface is emotionally a theater kid)

- Harley and Twoface get really into murder podcasts together one time while in Arkham. Even after they all break out, they video call after new episodes drop to talk about it. One time they tried to do a podcast but it turned out Joker did the crime so like it wasn't much of a plot twist

- Harley streams her crimes sometimes & actually makes some sick side cash off it! Half the time her chat is just obsessing over her interactions with Ivy. Also Ivy is one of her top donors

- Catwoman is TikTok famous, she posts story times, how to do simple parkour and pick locks, and hauls from crimes. All of her money from sponsorships and stuff goes to charity (she gets sent a bunch of free cat food for her cats, it's awesome!)

- Joker scrapbooks, he did it for a gag originally but low key got into it and now he may or may not have a scrapbooking room. He tries to go to Michael’s incognito but like, everyone knows.. The employees are like “yo, the Joker is at the help desk asking about if we have batman scrapbooking decals? Do.. Do I ask if he wants to sign up for the rewards program? Is he allowed to sign up?” Yes he signed up for the rewards program

- Joker also often signs up for various rewards programs but when he doesn’t want their emails, he gives them scarecrow’s email. Scarecrow has a bounty for whoever stops the man signing up ALL his emails for the Chilies newsletter

- the rogues throw Harley a roller skating lasertag party, where they also learn Harvey can't skate to save his life. He's the dedicated party mom that's standing at the railing about to fall down while he cheers on the others doing tricks and he's in charge of everyone's coat at the table. Joker uses all of his tickets to buy bouncy balls and sticky hands. Catwoman is a god at laser tag, she nearly gave Scarecrow a heart attack when she dropped form the vents to snip him. At the end of the party, they all steal Harley the go kart that's worth like 10,000 tickets. Batman shows up to Harley doing donuts in the parking lot while all the other villains are fighting with sticky hands and bouncy balls

- Bane likes camping and takes all the rogues in hopes to get camping buddies, they all almost die out in the woods because it's a disaster but also he had a great time! The Joker brings a camera and the whole time is making dated Blair Witch jokes with Scarecrow, which Harvey doesn't find funny and not because he's scared of the Blair witch.. Riddler screams running off into the woods because of a bee "chasing" him, no one sees him until three weeks later when they remember that they forgot him in the woods. Clayface uses a survivalist persona/character the whole time they're out there but he knows nothing about survivalism, eating poisonous berries and telling them poison ivy is a healing herb. Ivy is probably the only one suited for camping and she has to make sure most of them don't die

- Harley collects pins! She has a pin board in her hideout. The other rogues give her pins they find/obtain around Gotham

- The Joker has spent 3 years trying to perfect confetti smoke bombs

[bratkook]

cozy thief. (m) jjk

pairing. jeon jungkook x reader genre. smut, fluff, mutual pining word count. 5.1k warnings. roommate!au, cuteness!! lots of kissing & heavy petting, hand in pants action and messy/needy humping from jungkook lol  summary. a rainstorm knocking out your power is the small push needed for confessions to come tumbling out author’s note. requested for #30 from this prompt list! thank you for sending this in 🖤 (requests now closed)

The bubbling water is the only thing you focus on as you rest against the countertop, hands tightly holding onto your fluffy blanket of choice to trap all of the warmth in before it could escape. The rhythmic pattering of rain against the windows has become background noise now, already accustomed to the sound that woke you up hours ago.

It’s therapeutic really, your fuzzy socks sliding along the floor as you pull out your favorite mug, grabbing the hot chocolate mix and mini marshmallows from their rightful spot in the pantry. You don’t even think about the ridiculous electric bill you’ll be getting from how high you currently have the heater cranked up, freezing to death was not worth saving a few bucks. 

Jungkook would agree, loving the fact that he didn’t have to worry about walking around the apartment in a snow coat and scarf. Sure you were currently bundled up as if the place wasn’t maintained at a steady 75 degrees, but from the time spent living together he had grown to learn that the minute there was rain or snow you would pull out the coziest blankets regardless of temperature. 

“Can you make me one too?” He speaks up as he leans against the mini island, smiling when your blanket clad body jumps at the unexpectant sound of his voice. 

The spoon clanks against the mug as you stop stirring the hot chocolate, turning your head back to take a peek at your roommate. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Jungkook laughs now, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt as he rounds the island to grab himself a mug. “What, should I wear a bell around my neck to let you know when I’m nearby?”

“Yeah actually, you sneak up on me all the time. You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day.” 

You eye his mug of choice, a Friends one that actually belonged to you, a little hard to believe considering it was the one he always used without fail. It was admittedly your fault for forcing him to binge watch the whole show on Netflix before it got taken off, but for someone who claimed he couldn’t stand it all he sure did cradle the themed mug with utmost care. 

“You’re easy to scare, can’t blame me for seeing an opportunity and taking it.” Sliding the mug in your direction he rests on his elbows, observing you as you pour in the hot water, mixing the cocoa powder and smiling when you get the first inhale of it. 

“Scare me some more and I’m revoking this mug privilege.” Jungkook knows it's an empty threat, the roll of his eyes calling your bluff so you just sigh, clutching the bag of mini marshmallows and bringing them close. “Yay or nay for the marshmallows?”

“Yay, what do I look like, an animal?” He scoffs, hand urging you to top off his drink with more sweets, a charming smile spreading out onto his face when you slide the mug over. 

Just as he’s about to take a sip you walk off, both hands cupping your drink as you slide your way out of the kitchen. “Wait, where are you going?”

You freeze at the doorway, turning around with a confused face, “To binge watch some movies in the living room? The vent by the couch makes it the best place to get toasty.”

“Mind if I join you?”

The audacity of him to ask as if he didn’t regularly crash your binging parties, still you nod your head before turning back around and continuing your trek, hearing the soft patter of his bare feet against the floor. 

“Why did you beg me to get you those cow slippers for your birthday if you refuse to wear them?” You wonder as you settle onto the couch, adjusting your blanket to circle around your lap as you bring your knees up. 

Jungkook sighs dramatically as he sits beside you, bringing his bare feet up and shoving them underneath the pile of blanket around you, laughing loudly when you yell at the feeling of his cold feet against your silk pajama pants. “Because they’re cute, besides I don’t need slippers because my roommate has the best blankets.”

Accepting your fate you simply glare at him, detesting the way he could look as good as he does while attempting to push your buttons. The smug smile against the rim of the mug shows that he knows he can get away with it, a playful wink being the icing on top as he reaches for the remote. 

You ignore the way your heart skips as he clicks onto your profile, already sorting through your favorite movies, knowing they were starred and saved under your list. As he passes Legally Blonde you gasp, almost undetected but he had been waiting for any reaction to know what to pick. 

“You know, this has become one of my favorite movies now.” He quietly confesses, pressing play and setting the remote down onto the coffee table. 

“Seriously?”

Jungkook hums as he takes another sip, eyes focused on the beginning scenes of Legally Blonde. This was definitely one of your comfort movies, even if he didn’t end up crashing your movie night he could still hear each scene from his bedroom, almost knowing every single line from how often you played it. 

He proves his point as the movie continues, the two of you slowly sinking further into the couch, no longer caring about him using your blanket as makeshift slippers as you laugh each time he recites a line, adding his own commentary as he goes. The mugs of hot chocolate are drained dry, pushed onto the coffee table, freeing up his hands that somehow wind up playing with your own in a mindless motion, slowly tracing down your fingers to gently clasp them together before pulling apart and repeating. 

Just as Elle Woods takes the floor to question the witness, the entire room goes black, Jungkook’s hands freezing on top of yours as you wait for a moment. With the loss of power you instantly feel the warmth begin to fade away, the vent right beside the couch no longer providing you the toasty escape you wanted. 

“It was getting to my favorite part.” He groans out, resting his head back onto the couch, something you can just barely see in the darkness. 

“Fuck is the whole block out of power?”

Jungkook pulls his hand away from yours as he stands up, knocking his knee into the coffee table and laughing as he tries to navigate through the dark living room. His silhouette makes it to the window, peering through it to see if maybe it was just your building that was shit out of luck, but the entire block is in fact dark. 

“Yup, it’ll probably come back soon though.”

After two more hours and another mug of hot chocolate it became very clear that the power wouldn’t be coming back any time soon. Both of your phones lay screen down with the flashlight on as you finish up your drink once more, tightening the blanket around you now that the cold is becoming more prevalent. 

“We’re gonna freeze to death.”

“No we’re not, it's a rain storm not a blizzard outside. We should probably call it a night though, the floors are getting cold as fuck.”

He had still refused to put on his slippers, allowing the cold tile from the kitchen to turn his feet into icicles. “You act like you don’t own socks or slippers.”

Jungkook merely waves you off with a laugh, grabbing his phone from its spot on the counter. “Let me live, good night!” His flashlight sways with every step, illuminating the trail before he disappears behind his bedroom door, leaving you with no other option than to retreat into your own room. 

The door shuts behind you with a soft click, the rapid pattering of the rain against the window filling up the space and its no longer as therapeutic as it used to be now that you can feel the cold it brings with it.

Lighting up the candle on your nightstand, hoping the smell of gingerbread will convince your mind you’re not freezing, you settle into your bed. The feeling of your cold sheets against you has you whining, quickly pulling up the blankets at the end of the bed to warm you up as you ball into yourself. 

It's only a few minutes later that you hear the gentle knocking against your door, the top of your head just barely peeking up from the mountain of blankets as Jungkook peers inside your room. The words he wants to say leave him when he takes note of the way you're being swallowed whole by different patterns. 

“Holy shit, can you even breathe?”

“You wish you were this comfortable.” You laugh, tightening your grip on the blankets and pulling them snugly under your chin. 

He shuts the door behind him as he steps further into your room, smiling when he gets the whiff of your candle. “That's actually why I’m here, can I steal a blanket?”

The idea of parting with even one of your blankets sounds like a sin, a frown etched onto your face as you contemplate it. “If you think I’m gonna give you one of these after you refused to use the slippers I bought you, you’re crazy.”

“C’mon,” he whines, sitting on the edge of the bed and toppling over to bury his face against the warmth, fingers clutching on when you try to wiggle him off of your legs.

“No, if you take one you’re gonna fuck up the balance I have going on right now.”

“Fine,” he grunts, but just when you think he’ll give up he starts to crawl over you, long limbs making their way to the other side of the bed. You feel the cold instantly as he peels off the comforter from the right side, making himself right at home as he slides underneath it in search of warmth. “We’ll share then.”

With the way he shimmies around, finding the best position to get comfortable, you know there's no way you can shake him. He smiles into the sheets when you grumble out a fine and turn over, not trusting yourself to be able to stare at his face from a close proximity and do something you’d regret. 

A soft exhale leaves your lips as you force your eyes shut, ignoring the pounding in your chest as he inches closer so his legs don’t slip out from the blankets. You and Jungkook were roommates, and friends now underneath it all, but before you had crossed into friendship territory you realized you had a teeny tiny crush on him. 

When you had first moved in he had a girlfriend, a girl you rarely ever saw since he preferred to go to her place, so it helped tame down the crush. But once they broke up and he began spending all of his time at home, the small bursts of his personality you would see lit that crush back up. It was always hard to tell if the way he behaved around you was just the way he normally acted or if he maybe had a small interest in you as well. 

Forcing your mind from wandering deeper into fantasyland you nuzzle further into your pillow, pulling more of the blankets with you as you try to fall asleep. Jungkook feels the cold nip at his exposed ankle, huffing and flipping over to look at you with a small smile, the stolen blankets bundled around you nice and tight. 

“Steal the blanket again and I’ll put my cold feet on you.” Is the threat he makes as his fingers clutch onto the top layer of blanket and tug it back. It's a threat you don’t take lightly, gaze narrowing as you turn your head to glare at him. 

“You wouldn’t…”

His brows raise up at the challenge, jaw ticking out as he looks at you and before you can even react, he’s attacking, maneuvering himself around until he’s skillfully slipping his cold ass feet underneath the hem of your pants. You feel the cold instantly, a squeal of protest leaving you as you try to kick him away. 

“Who the fuck sleeps with no socks in this weather!”

“Me, which is why I need the blankets you thief!” He laughs out, continuing to try to yank the blankets back now that you were distracted, pulling the soft fabric out of your fists as you start to admit defeat. With a small cheer of success he pulls the warmth up and over the both of you like a little fort, his eyes crinkling up in a smile as he stares at you, now positioned right on top of you. 

Small pants escape your mouth as you slow your breathing, wide eyes blinking up at him as he refuses to move. The bed dips on either side of you as he holds himself up, lips still spread out in a smile, getting wider when he sees the way your eyes flicker down to them before looking back. 

You wanted to kiss him, he knew this, had known of your crush since the very beginning. Jungkook had taken note of the way you would stumble over words whenever you spot him leaving the bathroom with just a towel around his waist, enjoying the flustered look on your face, that being the main reason he did it so often. 

You thought you were slick, letting your eyes trace over the lines of muscle until it slipped behind the towel, but he simply let you get away with it, meeting your flustered gaze with that bunny smile you had grown to love. But as he hovers over you now there's no way he can pretend he doesn't notice the way your starry eyes stare at him, how you subtly lick your lips over. 

With a small tilt to his head he finally breaks the silence, whispering gently inside of the little cocoon he had made. “I really want to kiss you.” 

That gets him the reaction he wanted, the small gasp filling the air as your mouth drops open a tiny bit. “What?”

“Your lips look so soft, wanna kiss them.” His voice drops to a murmur, slow and husky as the words drawl out. 

He wants to kiss you, something you’ve been dreaming of for months, and now your mind is betraying you as it struggles to unscramble the words needed to respond. 

“Can I?” He asks, soft eyes looking directly at you and when you nod your head he tsks in disapproval, “Need to hear you say it love.”

The pet name makes you melt into your sheets, finally giving him a response as your brain releases your voice, “Y-yes, please kiss me.”  

Jungkook smiles in appreciation before slowly inching forward, nose gently nudging against yours as he swoops in. Your eyes flutter shut when the softness of his lips press against yours, kissing back instantly at the first touch, your mind whirling at the intoxicating feeling. Jungkook can feel his heartbeat quicken when you let out a small sigh, your shy hands gaining courage and sliding up his sides until you’re cupping his face. 

He winces at the icy feel of your fingers on his cheeks, the soft breaths of his laughter making you smile in between kisses, teeth knocking together as it begins to turn messy, the two of you just wanting more of each other now that the line has finally been crossed. 

Jungkook lets you bring him in closer, balancing on his elbows as he slots himself between your thighs, the soft smacks of your lips blending in with the light crackle of the candle and the rain from outside. 

A gentle nip of your teeth on his bottom lip earns you the first groan, the second coming when you trace your tongue along the seam of his mouth, slowly licking your way inside until it’s gently tangled against his own. Jungkook can feel his heart thrumming in his ears now, the realization that he was finally kissing you making his entire body warm up. 

The way you had behaved with him, calling him bro, punching his shoulder whenever he told jokes in an act to force yourself from ruining the friendship, made him believe that this would never happen. He didn’t want to come across as the typical cocky boy who swore he could win everyone over but the way you’re gasping into his mouth, fingers moving to grasp around his neck to bring him even closer when he unconsciously rolls his hips into yours makes him feel like he just did. 

Your wishful thinking had been true, the sweet gestures he did in day to day life stemming from the small inkling of a crush, something that had been planted the minute he started spending more time at home and around you. At first he thought nothing of it, chalking it up to enjoying spending time with his new friend, but soon enough he discovered he preferred to stay in with you, join you on your random quests to hunt for a new place to eat at, ignoring any other girl who showed any interest in him. 

As the two of you continue to kiss inside the small makeshift fort, the air becomes stuffy, Jungkook pulling away with a small laugh. “Wait, can’t breathe.”

You let go of his neck and paw the blankets off your faces, the cool air of your bedroom finally being welcomed as you catch your breath. 

“Better?” you question, smiling when he nods at you. “Good, now kiss me again.”

He doesn’t need you to tell him twice, lips cutting off the end of your sentence urgently, feeling the way you smile against him, your leg hooking over his hips like second nature. Jungkook feels like his head is spinning, the way your fingers move to rake along his hair, the soft gasps and sighs passed between you, he feels like a goner, the tipping point being your hips rutting up into his. 

Both of you pause at the sensation, Jungkook moaning into your mouth as your clothed core grinds along the slowly growing erection pressed against you. “Y/N, don’t tease me.”

“Why?” you breathe out, pressing kisses along the side of his mouth and jaw as you repeat the motion, the usual fear of him not feeling the same long gone from your mind. 

He drops himself further until his face is buried in your neck, goosebumps flaring out as his breath hits your skin when he speaks. “I’m trying to be sweet.” he murmurs, kissing your neck softly. 

“You are being sweet,” you whisper, tightening your grip around his hip, smiling when he groans while you once again rut up into him. “Am I not being sweet? Just wanna make you feel good, Kook.”

Of course you were sweet, you always have been, it was the main reason his heart started to skip around you, why he clung onto your mug like a safety net, wanting to keep a small part of you with him. If you wanted to make him feel good he was in no position to refuse, wanting to reciprocate the sweet gesture instead. 

Jungkook lifts his head up, dark waves falling over his face as he stares at you, wanting to see the look on your face as he gives the first roll of his hips into yours. He sees the way your teeth bite down onto your lower lip, pillowing the soft flesh out, mouth opening up to let out a gasp as he repeats the motion. There's never been a time where he’s been more thankful for a power outage than right now. 

“Keep going,” you urge him on, sighing beautifully when he rocks against you again, hips nudging the leg hooked around his waist higher up with each slowly thrust. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He sighs, taking a moment to fully admire you laid out underneath him, eyes sparkling as you stare up at him, mouth slightly parted as you groan at the small tingles of pleasure starting up inside of you. 

“Wanna feel you.” The confession hangs in the air for a second, the trailing of your hand down his covered chest, fingertips tickling along the sliver of exposed skin above the waistband of his sweats, is what finally brings him back. His moment of admiration being broken as your hands slips past and gently grasps his hardened cock, the expected feeling of his underwear nowhere to be found because not only did Jungkook refuse to wear socks he also refused to wear underwear. 

Your eyes widen at his size, already a nice handful and slowly growing the longer you hold it in your palm. As you give him a small pump you feel the exhaled grunt he lets out fan across your skin, his eyes falling shut as he pants out your name. 

Jungkook gasps as your palm rolls over the head of his cock, thumb rubbing along his slit and dragging the beads of precum down his length. With a shaky hand he trails down your chest, slipping past your pants and underwear. A pleased hum escapes him as he feels how wet you are, fingers sliding along your folds, collecting your arousal before coming back up to circle around your clit. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, hips jutting up at the tiny jolts of pleasure that spark each time his fingers circle around your bundle of nerves. This was definitely not how you thought your night would play out, still partially thinking you’re dreaming with your roommate asleep beside you but each time you blink the visual of his face inches from yours only gets clearer. 

“How's this?” he whispers, eyebrow cocked up as he waits for a response, the tantalizing motion of his hands making your mind scramble once more, back arching up towards him as he applies a bit more pressure. Jungkook knows what he’s doing, the way his fingers find the right rhythm to leave you whimpering only to slow down right after, just because he likes the frustrated look etched onto your face. 

A pout forms on your lips, your hands tightening their hold on his cock as you give him the same treatment, and as you slowly glide your palm down and back up, fingers refusing to go near his tip he groans in vexation. 

“You’re not being nice.” Is what you manage to gasp out just before he picks up his pace once more, lips coming back down to yours in a hungry kiss, swallowing each moan as you let them out. Each pant through his nose is felt against your cheek as your own hands pick up the pace, the two of you working in tandem as the desperation starts to grow within you. 

Jungkook wishes he could see you fully, not cocooned under a mountain of blankets, and for a split second he wants to suggest pulling them off entirely but the way the cold nips at your faces kills that idea on the spot. This would just have to do until the power came back. 

“Ah shit,” he keens out in between sloppy kisses as your hands trail further down to fondle his balls, the beginning feelings of his climax creeping up embarrassingly fast. He couldn’t help himself, for months now he had wondered what it felt like to kiss you so this whole situation put his mind into overdrive. 

You were on the same boat, the warm sensation spreading throughout you as his fingers continue to pinch and roll around your aching clit. “Wait, fuck I’m close,” you whimper out, chest rising and falling rapidly as you pull away from his mouth, a small string of spit connecting you together. 

“Really?”

“Shut up don’t make fun of me,” you protest, gasping when he starts to kiss and suck along your neck. 

“I’m not,” he mumbles, his hips rutting into your palm, fingers fisting the sheets beside you. “I’m close too.”

The whiny tone to his voice has more wetness gushing out, further ruining your underwear and Jungkook feels it as he fingers glide against your skin. That's enough to spur him on, quickening his pace with just the right pressure until your limbs are tightening up, back arching as your free hand clutches Jungkook’s shoulder. 

“Don’t stop,” you plead, and he has no intentions to, smiling against your neck as your hand stutters along his length as the pleasure you feel coursing through you. Each roll of his fingers has you seeing stars in your dimly lit room, whines getting breathier each time until you’re finally coming undone with a cry of his name. 

Jungkook feels the mess you make against his fingers, gently biting your skin as he starts to rut into your palm, the small twitches your body makes as he continues to tease your sensitive nub only making his need to cum grow. 

“Y/N,” he mewls, pulling his hand out of your pants once you hum at your name, your palm trailing up his shoulder and into his hair to gently run through it. “Wanna cum.”

You bite your lips at his words, pulling your own hand out of his pants and he cries out at the loss of contact, face lifting up from your neck and the prettiest pout on his lips that you kiss away. “Cum, use me Jungkook.”

He eyes you for a moment, a subtle nod of confirmation being all he needs to slide down his sweats a bit until his cock slips out, a small sigh filling the air at being released from its confines. He licks his lips over as he grasps his cock, resting it along your core and sighing at the smooth feeling of your pants, the silk slightly cold against him, the small wet patch along it only making him shut his eyes. 

When you widen your thighs for him to slot more easily he starts to rut forward, leaning back over you with his palms beside your face once more. Jungkook pants at the sensation, the gliding of his cock against your covered pussy, the small whines you let out each time he nudges against your clit, it kickstarts his climax once more. 

“Feels good,” he grunts out, head bowing forward and pressing against your chest as he picks up the pace, hips knocking into you each time, beads of precum dampening your silk pajama set and mixing with your own arousal. 

Jungkook doesn’t care how needy he looks right now, humping you like a desperate teenager because that’s exactly how he feels. 

“Yeah, are you gonna cum for me Kook?” you whisper, caressing his hair until he’s looking at you once more, face screwed up as he teeters close to the edge. 

When he nods eagerly you hook both legs around his waist, his mouth dropping open as he moans out unabashedly. “W-wanna feel you fully next time,” he grunts, jostling your body from the force of his thrusts, your pants wrinkling up around your thighs. 

“You will,” you confirm, wanting nothing more than to actually feel his cock without the confines of clothes and blankets. “Once the power comes back.”

He chuckles at that for a second, smiling at you through the dull glow the candle provides but then his face twists up, brows pinching and jaw going slack as his hips grow sloppy. 

“F-fuck,” he drawls out as his orgasm washes over him, hips rutting against yours with less grace than before, spurts of his warm cum splashing along your pussy and onto the small patch of skin above your waistband as he works himself through it. You sigh at the feeling, cupping his cheeks as your thumbs soothe him down. 

Jungkook continues to rock against you until he’s whimpering in overstimulation, panting as he stares down at you with the dopiest smile. He turns his head to kiss at your hand by his cheek before bending down to press his lips against your in a gentle kiss. 

“Did we just get to third base?” he whispers against your lips after the two of you fully come down, laughing when you swat at his side playfully, your own laugh filling the air as he pulls back to stare at you once more. 

Suddenly your room fills with light, the two of you squinting at the brightness, the sound of the heater kicking back is followed by the warmth from the vents beginning to flow through. 

You don’t even have to look at him to know what face he’s making, your promise of letting him fully feel you once the power came back flooding his mind. “No Jungkook,” you laugh, pushing his face away from yours as he inches closer like a child. 

“Why not?”

“Because you ruined my favorite pajamas.”

He laughs freely now, kneeling up until the blankets slide off his body, his eyes staring down at your pants and analyzing the mess the two of you made. “I mean, you ruined them first.”

Okay he has a point, but instead of agreeing you simply raise your foot up and nudge it against his chest until he topples to the side, allowing you to stand up from bed with no fear of the cold attacking you. Jungkook smiles against your sheets as he watches you grab new pants and underwear before slipping into your bathroom, emerging a few minutes later with a pair of snowman printed pants instead. 

“You wanna go finish Legally Blonde?” he asks, head perched up by his hand as he lays on his side, that charming smile on his face. 

“It’s like two in the morning.”

He shrugs, not caring about the time at all, just wanting to spend more time with you, already knowing the two of you would most likely end the night having a discussion about more than obvious feelings after what just happened. 

After staring at him for another moment you smile too, reaching your bed for the same trusty blanket you hand earlier and wrapping it around your body. But as he stands up from your bed you extend your covered up out for him to join you, a smile of success gracing his face. 

“Wow, you’re actually sharing with me.” he coos, leading the two of you back out into the living room. 

“Watch it, I’ll take it back.”

Jungkook simply wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side before you sit onto the couch. “I know you will you cozy thief.”

[lovinkiri]

I totally want some rough, angry, BDSM NSFW with Quirkless hero Reader and Villain Deku, please! Maybe they’re arguing about S/O’s safety, like the more she helps people and becomes more famous due to being Quirkless, the more danger she encounters. This eventually escalates to a lot of stress and anger being taken out in the NSFW form, though I would like it if you made dom Deku for this one! I totally live for Dom Deku! Especially the villain flirty version!

Need It Rough

Author's Thoughts: You guys love your villain Deku 👀 Not that I'm complaining, I do too

Warning: Choking, Spanking, Hair Pulling, Degradation, Cursing, Angst, Wrist Binds, Fingering, Etc.

You really didn't want to argue. It'd been a long day, for the both of you, and you just wanted peace.

But Izuku had too much on his mind to keep yo himself.

At first, he simply asked how work was. There was a certain edge to his tone and you knew this would start something, so you answered stiffled with a "It was okay".

"I saw you on the news today. That fight was really something."

"Yeah, it was, huh."

Izuku could tell from your short responses that you knew exactly what the problem was. So why dance around it?

"It was also really reckless, you know."

You sighed and let your head fall back against the pillow. There it was. "Oh my god, not now Izuku."

"Not now, not now, not now. You always say that, Y/n. So when? Tomorrow? The day after? A year, maybe ten?" He turned to look at you from his desk. "You need to be more careful."

Scoffing, you sat up again and gave him a mild glare. "I know what I'm doing, Izuku."

He gave a dry laugh, shaking his head. "You have no idea. Its getting more and more dangerous every day. There are a lot of people who'd love to see the 'Impossible Hero: Quirkless' fall. They've already tried taking you out, and the won't stop."

"Well what do you want me to do? Quit?"

"No! Just lay low for a while, take a vacation or something. Its not worth it."

"Izuku you know as well as I do that I can't just slow down. I'd be behind everyone again, I have to secure a spot in people's hearts and minds. I have to earn their trust. Stopping won't do that."

The argument only grew from there before moving onto something unusual more intimate.

Maybe it was how close Izuku had approached you. It could have been that defiant look in your eyes.

But the frustration became too much. Both you and Izuku seemed to have the same thing in mind, and so you didn't mind him suddenly crawling over your glaring form.

<3 <3 <3 <3

"Why do you have to be do fucking difficult, Y/n?"

His hand roughly roughly smacked against your dripping pussy. You cried out in pleasure, tears of frustration from being teased like this fell onto the mattress under your chin.

"I swear, you can be such a goddamn brat. Don't listen to a thing, do you?" Another smack against your clit had your body twitching. "I said do you?" Then another.

You quickly shook your head. "No..! But I don't have t-to.. I'm grown.."

Izuku tilted his head at you almost curiously. "Oh? Well, yeah, 'course you are." He slid his other hand from your rear to your leather binds holding your hands behind your back, stroking them. "A grown woman. You can do what you like."

You suddered under his touch, his hands old as ice. His hands moved to continued up north, tangling in your hair before giving it a yank.

His free hand meanwhile began toying with your cunt, pumping his fingers in and out of your desperate core. His fingers curled with every squeeze of your walls and you began to whimper.

He'd gave an audible scoff. "God, you're so independent aren't you?"

You simply gave a nod, hands balling into fists.

Then his movements ceased all together. You started to squirm, to whine. Attempting to move back against his fingers, he watched your hips wiggle in desperation.

"No, no.." He removed his fingers and you held back a sob. "Well, Miss Know-It-All. Miss Independent. Get yourself off."

You didn't even try. There was only so much you could do with bound wrists and your chin against the sheets.

"Oh? Are you kidding me? There's something in this world even the great Y/n can't do herself?" He feigned shock and you could feel the humiliation weighing you on. "Do you need me?"

It was hard to swallow your pride, you had so much of it. But you needed him, badly. You were practically shaking with want, squirming with it.

"Yes.. Need you.." You muttered weakly. Izuku gave your hair a yank, causing you to squeal.

"Yeah? You gonna be a good girl and start listening?"

You remained silence, refusing to say that. You knew his words had a double meaning behind them, and you weren't agreeing to anything outside the bedroom.

Izuku shook his head but nonetheless, you felt the tip of his hard cock sink into your folds. "Fine. Wanna be a disobedient slut instead? We can play that game."

His hips snapped against yours and you cried out as he filled you up.

Izuku used your hair to yank your body back into his thrusts, his skin slapping against your hard enough to mark your skin the next day.

"You like that game though, right? That game where you stop being my good girl, when you're just a relentless, naive little hero. Can't get enough of it, can you?"

Your breathe hitched in your throat at his words and you quickly buried you face into the mattress yo muffle the noises falling from your lips.

He noticed immediately and the hand gripping your hair snaked around your neck. Easily, he lifted your upper body by the throat and whined at the loss of air. Your back fell against his chest and his thrusts remained fast and brutal.

"Ehat, now you're just ignoring me? I gave you exactly what you wanted despite your disobedience and you can't answer a single question? Ha! Selfish little whore, aren't you?" He growled into your ear, almost animal like.

It was going to be a long night. But what better way to vent out your frustrations?

[mae-gi-writes]

Calling... | Juyeon (tbz)

Juyeon tbz! x f! reader 

Summary:

Long distance is hard, even for people like you and Juyeon. 

Genre: angst, some fluff, LDR relationship

A/N: some self-indulgent angst because I’ve been feeling low these days and have nowhere/no one to vent it to. 

-----

"We’re going to get through this, Y/N. I promise.” 

That promise. You’re not sure whether that’s a curse or a blessing. Every single day becomes a torturous game between wanting to give up everything that you’ve built with the man of your dreams and pushing forward towards the happy ending you’ve always hoped for. 

It was easier in the beginning. Maybe because you were both so new to the prospect of love, that you didn’t know what you were missing from each other. It only grew harder the more the years went by and though some people said that the pain gets easier, you’re not quite sure whether they’ve supposedly missed out the part where you keep falling deeper in love with him every day. 

Maybe if you didn’t love him so much, it would hurt less. And god, you wished that would happen. You wished a miraculous cure would numb the swell in your chest every time you had a spare moment to think of what Juyeon was doing. You wished that it would stop the familiar burn of tears tearing your throat apart every time you forced yourself to keep down your choked cries for the sake of not crying. Because you were sick of that too.

This kind of pain is toxic and unsurmountable, to an extent that you start wondering whether life would be easier without Juyeon around. 

"A few more months Y/N,” Juyeon says, face taking up your phone screen as you put the device onto your nightstand in favour of curling your knees up to your chest. You’re trying very hard not to cry, and hope that he can’t see the silent tears slipping past your lids, “it’ll go by quickly, I--” 

“Yeah yeah, I know,” you mumble out, having already heard this mantra over a thousand times. It’s the same thing, after all. A few more months, a little bit more time, just a little-- you’re so fed up of all this waiting, of everyone telling you the exact same thing. 

You’re so sick of it. You can’t even look at the camera anymore.

"Where...Where do you think we stand?” comes his question. A little hesitant, but without any stutter. And when you look back at his face, you notice the downward cast of his eyes, the saddening turn of his lower lip. 

It’s hurting him just as much and you hate it. You hate how guilty you feel about dragging him into this when he’s only just a victim. 

“What do you mean?” you ask softly. 

Juyeon takes a soft breath, exhales, “like...do you think we have a hundred percent chance? Or...fifty percent? Or...” 

He trails off, but you understand what he means, and shrug while scratching the back of your head, “definitely not a fifty,” you say, biting your lip, “and...there’s nothing that can make me say we’re less than a hundred, but...” 

You’re not certain what to say there. It’s touchy, and you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend more than you are at this particular moment. 

If you had been asked a question a year earlier, there is no doubt your answer would’ve straight up been a hundred percent. And you’d say it with confidence too, Juyeon knows that.

But it hurts so fucking much.

It hurts so much that it’s the only thing you can think about every day. 

It makes you sad. It makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry because there is literally nothing else you can do to take your mind off it. 

"Do you...are you--" his voice wobbles, then breaks off without courage of actually saying the words out loud, "I--"

You shake your head, lips trembling as you murmur, "I'm not--I`m not gonna do that, Juyeon."

You fear that saying the words out loud might make it come true. And you don't want to imagine what that would be like, even if you entertain the possibility at the back of your mind.

The silence overcrowds the distance between you and the phone. For a minute, you can't bear to meet Juyeon's eyes. Your fingers start picking your nails apart, a nervous habit you've manifested whenever you get anxious.

When Juyeon speaks next, his words are laced with pain and he doesn't even try holding back a sob, "please," he exhales shakily and even from your tiny screen, you can see the redness lining his eyes, "please don't break up with me."

Your heart aches at the sadness etched onto his features, "I'm not," you repeat it more firmly then, "I won't."

He doesn't answer. But then again, you've probably shocked him to the core.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," you say quietly.

"No, it's okay. I--" running a hand through his dark locks, you note his jaw clenching, "I didn't know you felt this way. I'm the one that should be sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"It is, though isn't it?" He chuckles emptily, "I guess I...I'm not doing enough."

"That's not it, Juyeon. It hurts a lot. This, everything. And I'm just tired. I'm tired of always crying. I'm just so fucking tired."

And then you burst into ugly sobs.

----

The weather has gotten warmer now that June is in full swing. Your final semester is over and that means a little bit of freedom before starting your job search. It is enjoyable and peaceful, walking across town with your friends, meeting up at odd hours of the day and finding new treasures that your town has to offer.

You are currently in the middle of parking your bike next to the harbourfront when your phone suddenly buzzes in your pant leg.

"Hey," you say as you pick up the receiver, "what's up?"

"Hey," there's a little bit of static before Juyeon'a voice comes through, "I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm at the harbourfront. Getting some air."

"That's nice," a pause, then, "how was it?"

"I think I might have enjoyed it more than I should've," you tell him as you walk up to the edge of the harbour. The water lolls peacefully against the edge and it calms you down, as the talk has earlier, "it helped. A lot."

He breathes out softly, "that's good to hear. How...how do you feel?"

"Surprisingly serene."

"Woah, fancy description."

You can't help but laugh at that, "thanks. I try."

A comfortable silence fills the air and you lean down, hand outstretched to catch some of the waves lapping up along the edge, "and you?" It's been a while since you've managed to speak to Juyeon properly. You miss him, "how have you been?"

"Oh you know," you hear him shuffle, "keeping myself busy. I started working at a skateboard shop. It's been...interesting."

"Do you even know how to skateboard?"

"I can stand straight on one. Does that count?"

You giggle, "no, you goon. You actually have to be able to skate on it."

You talk for a little while longer as you enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with a breathtaking view. Even more breathtaking as the sun slowly sets over the horizon and giving bloom to hues of orange and salmon pink bleeding into the clear blue sky.

It has been nice to talk to someone. As per Juyeon's request a few weeks earlier, you had decided to sign up for a free counselling session. You weren't a big fan of people poking around your thoughts and feelings, but the consultation had actually been really enjoyable. To unleash everything that you've been carrying in your heart is a weight that has suddenly lifted off your chest, and you feel shades lighter as you spend the reat of your evening roaming through town, getting your groceries, walking along the pavement back to your flat.

"I gotta go now," Juyeon says as you unlock your front door, "Changmin's been bugging my ass for thirty minutes."

"Well please tell him I have nothing to do with this."

"You had everything to do with this."

"Lying will get you nowhere."

"And I will tell him anyway," he singsongs, causing you to chuckle good-naturedly. That is, before the next words come to shake up your heart a little.

"I miss you."

You smile softly, sadness combing through your chest, "I do too, Juyeon."

"Stay safe, okay?"

"You too."

"Talk soon Y/N," his voice is filled with a gentleness that makes your heart sing, and you repeat back the said words, a mixture of melancholy and fondness blooming inside your chest.

Ending the call and setting down your groceries atop the kitchen counter, your eyes find the date circled in red.

Your lips curl into a smile.

----

"Flight A472 has arrived. Travelers, please make your way to the luggage section.“

The intercom buzzes with static to repeat the earlier statement and you feel your heart flutter in your chest as you slowly get up from your seat. You've been waiting at the nearby fast food joint until now, and it's no surprise that your butt feels numb and flat.

Stretching your limbs and picking uo your bag, you sling your navy coat over your shoulder and make your way towards the arrivals. The airport is deserted at this time of night and you're grateful, for it gives your heart more time to prepare for the man you haven't seen in over eight months.

Eight months. Eight months is a long time. It's almost the time it takes for a baby to be born. You flush at the thought, wondering whether Juyeon sees you in his future just as permanently as you see him.

"Who are you waiting for?" Your head swivels to see an older woman, in her late fifties, with a handbag slung over her shoulder and a burgundy scarf wrapped around her neck.

"Oh, uh--" heat travela up the back of your neck, "someone close. And you?"

"My daughter. I haven't seen her in over two years," the woman smiles fondly, "it's hard, isn't it? Not being able to see your close ones every day."

"Yeah," you mumble, "it sure is."

Your gaze is now fixated on the sliding doors now that people have started walking out. One by one, you watch as strangers hug their families, laughing and smiling. A couple is embracing in a nearby corner. And the old woman brightening up and waving at the sight of her daughter pulling up her luggage.

Your chest can't help but swell with emotion. What a beautiful thing to be admire the magic of a reunion. Tears rush to your eyes, suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of love radiating through your veins and bathinf your limbs in warmth.

"Y/N."

You freeze. Slowly, you turn around and see Juyeon.

Your Juyeon.

He stands there, backpack on his shoulders and hair ruffled. A luggage at his side and sporting a grin.

Your heart explodes.

Heat rushes through your face, mouth opening in a soft 'oh'.

"Juyeon," his name rolls off your lips.

You're breathless. Everything falls out of focus.

Juyeon. Juyeon is here.

Everything happens so fast. You blink and you're in his arms, his warmth engulfinf you, his scent making you light-headed, his lips permanently pressed against your temple as your hands unconsciously scrabble to hold on to his hoodie like he's a dream you don't want to let go.

It's magical. It feels like a goddamn miracle.

You can't help but burst into tears.

"Oh god," Juyeon's chuckle echoes through your ear. He tightens his grip ever so slightly and kisses your forehead, the corner of your eye while stroking your back.

You cling to him like he's your only lifeline, "I missed you," you sob into his shirt, "I missed you so much."

"It's okay," he cooes into your ear, one hand coming up to smooth over your head, "I'm here now, Y/N."

"I--" emotions rush through you like a dam broken down by the tides and suddenly you're babbling everything you've kept hidden in the grooves of your heart, "I'm so sorry for everything, I-- I was hurt and scared and lonely. I didn't think about how this distance affected you too and I'm sorry I made you go through all this when you did nothing wrong, I--"

Your words get muffled by his lips pressing onto yours to stop any other protests and you melt into him like coming home with open arms. His arms pin your middle to his chest, parting your mouth with his and taking your breath away with every suckle, every nibble. It makes you gasp, clutching his shoulders and returning his kisses with just as much vigor.

"You," he breathes against your parted mouth, "are everything I want," pulling back to press his forehead to yours, he continues, "so don't you dare think for one second, that you're in this alone. You're never alone, Y/N."

"I love you," you murmur, nose brushing his. He kisses you once more, heat lingering between you and claiming your affection for him, "I love you too."

You know that this isn't the end. A path of tears and pain and struggle still await you. The mountain is high and steep, a tough climb that makes youe legs tremble.

But you know now, looking into Juyeon's eyes and seeing the magic in there, the dripping affection that makea your fingers tingle, that this is it. There's nobody else, nothing else you want than Lee Juyeon.

Because if there's one thing for sure is that Juyeon's hand is the one you want to take, to make that climb happen.

"Wanna get out of here and tell me everything I've missed out about you?" Juyeon whispers upon finally detangling himself, though still holding on to your shoulder as he gently pulls you towards the exit.

"Only if you tell me everything I've missed about you," you reply.

He chuckles, before pressing another lingering kiss over your cheek, "deal."