#vegan pulled pork

[vegan-nom-noms]

BBQ Lettuce Wraps With Avocado Aioli

[hearts-guided-key]

A week ago I've decided to try to go vegan for health reasons and holy crap. Groceries are already so expensive here but daaang. Now I know why vegans are so skinny. They can't afford to buy enough food lol

[koravelliumavast]

Why is choosing a recipe so hard ugh

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for saying not to invite someone who doesn't eat meat because I will not accommodate them?

So context I, (19 turning 20) has invited my two friends to allow a plus one each, totalling the guest up to about 11, including me, my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister and her fiance, my two best friends, their plus ones and a guy whose a mutual friend.

The idea is a "bring your own dish"/potluck with us providing the main dish- pulled pork sandwiches. This is because we're dealing with food stamps here.

However one of my friends' friends is a vegan. I don't actually care about that but the fact we already decided on our contribution, the fact I don't actually know them, and it's my birthday makes me hesitant to actually allow them.

However I'd hate to exclude them if my friends decide to invite them.

What are these acronyms?

[germhammy]

“Driving to the Addams mansion”

Enid: what was that? -asking upon hearing Anna’s knock from Frozen-

Wednesday: Kent texted me. He made that tone for himself

She pulled out her phone

-hey! D and I are at Epcot. We are in the Norway pavilion. I found these mugs! Do you want me to get them for you and me?

-oh! Yes. Thank you. And that gives me an idea of what to give you. I will give it to you when we return to Nevermore

-deal. And um? Happy Hanukkah? Feliz Navidad? Merry Christmas? Happy Holidays?

-All of that. Same to you.

Enid: -trying to look at Wednesday’s phone- hey. Why so secret?

Wednesday: do you let me see all your texts with Yoko? -Wednesday did not want Enid to see that she wanted the Elsa cup-

Enid: okay. That’s fair. Did you get me a Christmas present?

Wednesday: no

Enid: WHAT? -pouting-

Wednesday: I was planning on getting you something when I got home. There is a shop that is two floors of plushies of all kinds. Now it’s even better. I can take you there and you can pick what you want

Enid: oh!

Wednesday: I can take you before or after Christmas. I also made dinner reservations for us after Christmas at the 212 Steakhouse in New York. Bet your cheapskate mother has never allowed a trip to get real Kobe beef? There are five places in San Francisco

Enid: oh my god! No! She orders Omaha Steaks for home.

Wednesday: not even a butcher? Even once in a while?

Enid: oh heavens no. Too expensive!

Wednesday: does your family only eat beef?

Enid: well mostly. Pork sometimes. When I go out with my friends I love a good salad or a vegetarian or vegan meal.

Wednesday: have you ever had kalua pork cooked in an imu?

Enid: no. What’s that? An emu?

Wednesday: no imu. It is a Hawaiian way of cooking. It is too cold to do it now. But basically you dig a hole and bury the whole pig with hot coals and banana leaves

Enid: wait. Wednesday? You’re not going to feed me anything really gross right? I mean the Thanksgiving dinner was pretty traditional.

Wednesday: There will more than likely be things you might not like. I will make sure to point them out. But you should try them before judging them. You might find you like them. I will let you try some of mine? Or if it is something I dislike I am sure my father will be more than happy to let you give it a try.

Enid: okay. I mean, I am totally willing! That’s how I tried some Korean dishes when out with my friends. That totally would not fly at home

Wednesday: it baffles me how close minded your mother is. There is more to food than your standard meat and potatoes. You are really missing out.

Enid: I am beginning to see that now. Oh god. I just realized. I am not prepared for a New Jersey winter.

Wednesday: tomorrow we can go shopping for some winter clothing.

Enid: does it snow in Westfield? I’ve never been in snow

Wednesday: you have not been in snow? Like ever?

Enid: nope. My mom hates it. Evan has gone snowboarding with his friends. But I’ve never been. I really want to build a snowman. Oooo! Do you think we will get a white Christmas?

Wednesday: it snows and maybe. Pugsley and I always build snow demons in the front yard.

[everythingwithwasabi]

Vegan Pulled Pork Sandwich

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 12

Hello! I managed to get this finished before bed. So tada!

Steve and Eddie aren’t on the same page yet, and Eddie fucks up.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11

***

As he drove Robin and Erica back to her apartment, (Robin refused to be in the same room as them because of how absolutely gooey they were around each other) Steve’s anticipation for tonight was ramping up. He had stopped by the store to get all the ingredients for tonight.

He pulled out his best wok and washed the rice, getting it started cooking before he did anything else. He cleaned and chopped the vegetables, getting them in the wok first. Once they were about half way done, he pulled them out and set them to the side.

He then cut up the chicken and started cooking it up. Then he made the sauce in the wok with the chicken pushed to the one side and then he mixed them together. He added the vegetables last, warming them through so that they had a crisp but not hard bite to them. He was tossing the mixture in the sesame seeds when the doorbell rang.

He dashed over to the door and opened it.

Eddie stood on the other side, hands shoved into his pockets and big smile on his face. “Hey-ya, Stevie!”

Steve blushed. “Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way. “You’re right on time. I just finished making dinner.”

Eddie slipped past Steve and into the apartment. “Smells great. I can’t wait. I’ve been telling the guys about it all weekend. They are insanely jealous by the way.”

Steve smiled. “What? Can none of them cook?” He led Eddie over to the table where he started to plate up the chicken.

Eddie grinned. “Sadly, their talents lie in music and not cooking.” He sat down. “Gethin, Gareth’s twin can bake, but that’s really not the same thing as cooking.”

Steve chuckled. “No. Cooking once you know the basic rules can be tweaked in all sorts of ways. Don’t eat pork, dark meat of fowl like chicken or turkey will work. Or tofu if you’re vegetarian or vegan. Baking though? Gluten intolerant? Fuck you then, because you have to replace more than just the one ingredient you have to find three things to replace it so it acts the same way.”

Eddie nodded. “I call baking alchemy and cooking art.”

Steve smiled. “That sounds about right. Chopsticks or forks?”

“Chopsticks if you have ‘em,” Eddie said.

Steve went to the drawer and pulled out four black chopsticks with a silver band on top. He handed two to Eddie and kept two for himself.

“These are nice,” Eddie said, immediately digging into his food. “Wow. Shit, dude. So good.”

Steve blushed and took a bite of his food. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Where did you learn to cook so good?” Eddie asked around a bit of food.

Steve flushed. “It was either learn how to cook or eat take out every night when my parents were gone.”

Eddie looked up through his lashes. “Yeah, how often were they gone?”

Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I think a better question would be when weren’t they gone?”

Eddie frowned. “What do you mean?”

Steve set down his chopsticks and sighed. “Look, you went to high school with me, you know I was famous for the ragers I threw. Do you know why I could throw those parties?”

Eddie half shrugged. “I never really thought about it. I was never on the guest list.”

Steve snorted. “Like I had any control of the guest list. That was all Tommy and Carol. Seriously. After my second concussion in two years that had me benched in every sport I was in except swimming, I realized they didn’t care about me. They only cared that I had absent parents, a cleaner that came every other day, and a huge house with swimming pool in the back.”

Eddie winced. “Is that why the parties stopped that last part of your senior year?”

Steve nodded. “So yeah, I learned how to cook to prevent myself from getting into bad eating habits and I just kept it up. I enjoy it. Not like tattooing but it’s fun.”

“Sorry,” Eddie murmured. “I sometimes forget that high school was almost a decade ago. You look so much like you did back then that I forget that all that shit is just water under the bridge. But I’m trying.”

Steve smiled softly. “And I appreciate it. I really do. Actually, one of my apprentices actually went to high school with us, too.”

Eddie tilted his head to the side. “Yeah, would I know them?”

“Would you know head cheerleader,” Steve said with a smirk, “and then girlfriend of the captain of the basketball team you final senior year?”

Eddie leaned his head forward. “Chrissy? Chrissy Cunningham? Are you shitting me right now?”

Steve shook his head.

“Hell yeah,” Eddie said with a grin. “Of course I remember her. Great girl. Glad she broke it off with that Carver kid though. He was one of those Christians that forgot the main principle the dude taught was to love everyone.”

Steve nodded. “I hear he’s one of those wackos that go around to public streets and harass poor people about religion for YouTube views.”

“Fuck, really?” Eddie hissed. “I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. Lucky dodge for Chrissy then. You thinking of snapping up that girl?”

Steve felt as though a bucket of cold water had been dumped right over his head. He thought that this was a date. He had done it again. Presumed too much.

“No,” he said softly. “Robin has a better chance with her then I do. Apparently she is a lesbian.”

Eddie furrowed his brow a little, wondering about the sudden mood switch.

“Good for her,” is all he said.

The night got awkward and stayed that way until Eddie got up to go home.

“See you tomorrow?” Eddie asked trying to at least salvage some part of the evening.

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you’re starting on the sword tomorrow, right?” Eddie asked, heart in his throat.

Steve confusion clears. “Of course! I can’t wait. I’m really excited to start working on it.” He gives Eddie’s wrist a squeeze. “I thought we made plans that I had forgotten about. No. Of course I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eddie relaxed a little bit and nodded.

Steve closed the door gently behind him.

*

Jeff was brushing his teeth to get ready for bed when there was a pounding on his door. He looked over at Mandy and frowned.

“You expecting anyone, babe?” she asked, after spitting into the sink.

Jeff shook his head. He rinsed out his mouth and padded to the door. He opened it to reveal a jumpy Eddie.

Jeff rolled his head from side to side. “You do know Mandy’s got work in the morning, right?”

Eddie nodded. “I fucked up with Stevie and I don’t know what I did but I really need my best friend right now.”

“Come on in,” Mandy said from behind Jeff. “I’ll get you two a beer.”

Eddie sat on their ratty sofa, his knee jiggling with restless energy. Mandy handed them the beers and kissed Jeff’s cheek.

“Don’t stay up too late.”

Jeff watched as she walked back to their bedroom. Once the door was closed he turned to Eddie. “Right start at the top. What do you mean you fucked things up with Steve?”

“I don’t know, man!” Eddie said after downing half of the bottle in one go. “Things were going great, dinner was amazing. It got a little awkward when he said he learned how to cook because his parents were never home and then bam! The bottom opened up and I left earlier then I expected because the air was so thick with tension you could cut it with a knife.”

Jeff closed his eyes and then opened them again. “Tell me everything. Leave nothing out. Knowing you like I do, you probably said something you didn’t think was important, but really, really was.”

Eddie sighed and went through the whole conversation.

Jeff buried his head in his hands and groaned. “Dude, tell me you really didn’t ask Steve if he was going bang one of his apprentices, you know one of the people that work for him?”

Eddie scoffed, waving his hand. “I was joking.”

“Did Steve know that?” Jeff prodded.

Eddie opened his mouth and then closed it. He opened it again, but no sound would come out. He snapped it shut and frowned. “Maybe not?”

Jeff waved his hand at him. “Also seriously, dude. What kind of messed up fucker asks his crush if he wants to bang some chick?”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “Oh shit.”

“Look I don’t know this guy,” Jeff said. “Not well enough anyway. If this was Gareth or Brian, I could tell exactly what he was thinking. But I don’t and you don’t either. Which means you didn’t just fuck up, Eddie. You fucked up bad. So you’re going to have to grovel. And I do mean grovel. Flowers, dinner, the works.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said breathing out a shuddering sigh. “Yeah, man. Fuck. What if I messed things up with for good?”

Jeff shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess endure the most awkward thirty hours of your life?”

“Shit.”

*

The first thing Eddie did that morning was call the shop.

“Royal Pain, this is Robin, how can I help you today?”

“Birdie,” Eddie greeted. “Is Steve around?”

Robin sighed heavily. “He’s working with Chrissy at the moment, I can take a message?”

Eddie sighed. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s actually you I wanted to speak to anyway.”

“Is this about last night?” she asked.

Eddie blinked away the tears that formed at the thought that Steve had told her about it. “I’m trying to grovel and need a list of his faves so that I make it up to him for being an absolute ass.”

Eddie could feel Robin’s grin through the phone. “Right. Where do you want me to start?”

They talked for a good twenty minutes before she said, “Look, I’ve got another call coming in. That should be enough to start with. Hop to it, doofus. I want to see it, capeesh?”

“I read you loud and clear,” Eddie said.

“Good.”

***

Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18 Part 19  Part 20  Part 21   Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25 Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Epilogue

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk​ @renaissan-vvitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @aizawa-emma @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @yikes-a-bee @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @archermightbegay @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx

[mushroomgay]

London, UK, October 2023

Blackening polypore (Meripilus giganteus)

This large, common polypore can be distinguished from its (luckily entirely edible, or simple inedible rather than poisonous) potential confusions by its distinctive bruising - press hard on its surface (or simply handle it and wait a few moments) and it bruises a dark brownish black.

It's one of my favourite wild edibles. Some people complain of its somewhat sour taste, but I find boiling it in water and (vegan) butter and then draining it removes this entirely. It has a pleasant, fibrous texture, similar to meat or dried mango, and I like to use this to make a vegan pulled pork, here served in homemade bao buns. It was my first time making them - they were denser than they're meant to be, unclear if that was because they were gluten free or I over-proofed them. They're delicious as a vehicle for bbq sauce, though.

[underworld-park-offical]

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: You

TWEEK: Mister

TWEEK: Tinfoil

TWEEK: Hat

TWEEK: Guy

KENNY: Stan

TWEEK:  What

KENNY: His names Stan

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: I'm not gonna remember that

TWEEK: You said you had

TWEEK: Like

TWEEK: A bunker

TWEEK: Right?

STAN: Yeah

CRAIG: Dog shit covered ahhh barn 💀

TWEEK: Why is he saying Skull emoji out loud

TOLKIEN: Not even WE know at this point

KYLE: We gotta get him to stop that

KYLE: It's more annoying than KYLE: ….Whatever….. Stan's got going on

CRAIG: Omg not you slandering me 💀

CRAIG: Don't even rn you look like the Goodwill shat you out

KYLE: Fuck you

KYLE: You know that Supreme hoodie isn't even real Supreme, right?

CRAIG: Lmao what

CRAIG: Me when I lie

KYLE: Nonononono

KYLE: Look look look

KYLE: It says “Souprem”

KYLE: It's fake merch dude

KYLE: Its as fake as those fucking yeezys

CRAIG: ….

KYLE: …Dude?

CRAIG: No that's my other hoodie

KYLE: Are you fucking serious

KYLE: You aren't even rich stop acting like you are

CRAIG: Nuh uh

KYLE: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH????

TOLKIEN: Kyle, just give it up

TOLKIEN: Trying to convince Craig he isn't rich is like trying to convince a toddler to wipe their own ass

TOLKIEN: It's not worth it

CLYDE: …. CLYDE: Why do I feel like that was directed towards me?

TOLKIEN: Because It was, Clyde

CLYDE: OH COME ON I WASH MY OWN ASS

TOLKIEN: NO THE FUCK YOU DO NOT YOU SMELL LIKE A TACO BELL CLYDE: FUCK YOU CLYDE: AT LEAST TWEEK LIKES ME TOLKIEN: OH SURE SURE SURE TOLKIEN: TWEEK DOESN'T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU TOLKIEN: THERE'S NO WAY SOMEONE LIKE TWEEK WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO AFTER YOU, YOU FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUELED SHITSTAN

CLYDE: THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING I'M TRANS BUT FUCK YOU FOR INSULTING ME

TOLKIEN: YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, FUCK YOU TOO

CLYDE: YOU KNOW WHAT?? I BET YOU 30 BUCKS I CAN PULL IN TWEEK WITH MY MANLY AWESOMENESS

TOLKIEN: I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS YOU CAN'T

CLYDE: FINE

TOLKIEN: FINE

CLYDE: LETS FUCKING GO

CLYDE: I'LL ASK OUT TWEEK AND IT'LL BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER

STAN: Hmmm

STAN: At my barn we could like

STAN: Use my dad and my sister

STAN: As like

STAN: Food

KYLE: Dude no

KYLE: I am not resorting to cannibalism

CARTMAN: Kahl, you’ve eaten animals, that's basically like eating people

KYLE: Okay mr “forty big macs in one day”

CARTMAN: Uhm, actually they're vegan chicken patties KYLE

CARTMAN: ALSO did you just ASSUME my GENDER????

CARTMAN: YOU ARE GETTING C A N C E L L E D

CARTMAN: I WANT A TEAR RIDDEN UKELELE FILLED APOLOGY RIGHT NOW

KYLE: Oh my GODDDDD

KENNY: Actually studies show that most human meat is similar taste wise to chicken

CRAIG: I thought it was pork

CRAIG: Like

CRAIG: Deadass

CRAIG: Like pigs

CRAIG: Like deadass pigs

KENNY: We know what pork is CRAIG 

STAN: Yeah

STAN: So we’re fucking set

CARTMAN: Uhhh no thanks, i’d rather be one with the animals and eat dirt and hay

STAN: We don't even have animals

CARTMAN: I’ll just eat the weed then

STAN: What

KENNY: What

KYLE: What

CRAIG: LMAOOOOOOO IM DEADDDDDDD 💀 💀 💀 

CARTMAN: What???

CARTMAN: It's like eating catnip

CARTMAN: Besides its environmentally friendly

STAN: What's your source

CARTMAN: Wikipedia

STAN: Ooooof course it is

STAN: The internets lying to you, you know

CARTMAN: Fuck off, Stan, Queermo

STAN: IM TELLING THE TRUTH HERE

TWEEK: HhhhuGiyhvfdeiohjd

TWEEK: OKay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: We’re set on a TOTALLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION

TWEEK: Awesome

TWEEK: Great

TWEEK: Dandy even!

TWEEK: Everyone

TWEEK: Lets hold hands

CRAIG: I am not touching Clydes fucking shitstained hands

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: I’ll hold Clyde's hand

TOLKIEN: Why do you wanna touch Clydes hands thats fucking nasty

CRAIG: For real

CRAIG: Preach 🙏🙏🙏

TWEEK: I don't care

TWEEK: It's just for a bit TWEEK: I can wash my own hands afterwards

CRAIG: EWWWW FAGS

CLYDE: Aww… really?? :D

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: Sure

TWEEK: Whatever

CLYDE: Nobody other than Tolkien has wanted to hold my hand before! :DD

TOLKIEN: Was that before or after I figured out you don't wash your hands

TWEEK: Who else is fine with

TWEEK: Touching Clyde

CRAIG: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Playboi Carti

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: I don't

TWEEK: I'm not

TWEEK: Just

TWEEK: Hold hands

TWEEK: You all have socks on

TWEEK: I think

TWEEK: So it's not gay

CARTMAN: Uhm erm erm erm

CARTMAN: Actually

CARTMAN: That's a homophobic statement

TWEEK: CRAIG SAID A FUCKING SLUR?????????

TWEEK: WHAT???????

TWEEK: IM TWEEK: HUH TWEEK: WHAT TWEEK: OKAY

TWEEK: JUST TWEEK: JUST HOLD HANDS TWEEK: STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME

CLYDE: Wow

CLYDE: I forgot CLYDE: What holding hands felt like

KYLE: Woah

KYLE: This reminds me of the first episode of My Little Pony

KYLE: Where

KYLE: Twilight and her friends

KYLE: Find the friendship trinkets or whatever

KYLE: And they reverse the curse on them that turns them into stone

KYLE: And they used them to like

KYLE: Defeat Nightmare Moon

KYLE: Turning her back into Princess Luna

KENNY: That was so fucking gay

KENNY: I feel like I'm gonna vomit rainbows because of you

CARTMAN: Kenny stop being homophobic

CARTMAN: I will cancel you again

KENNY: Fuck off I know that blue hair you wear online is a wig

CARTMAN: BITCH-

TWEEK: SHUT UP

TWEEK: ALL OF YOU TWEEK: MY SATAN

TWEEK: CAN YOU ALL GO LIKE TWEEK: TWO MINUTES WITHOUT FIGHTING AND OR DEGRADING EACH OTHER

KENNY: ….

CARTMAN: …. KYLE: …..

LITERALLY EVERYONE: …..

CRAIG: Slllaaa-

TOLKIEN: Dont

TOLKIEN: Just

TOLKIEN: Do not

TOLKIEN: Actually, you’ve lost speaking privileges

CRAIG: 😡

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Is

TWEEK: Is everyone holding hands

CRAIG: yeah its like Kumbaya frfr

TOLKIEN: Stop talking

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Alakazam

TWEEK: Alakazane

TWEEK: Im sending you off this mortal plane

KYLE: Wait wha-

CRAIG: Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe!

KENNY: Yoooo

CRAIG: Like and Share! Like and Share! Like and Share!

TOLKIEN: Haaaaa

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: Was that

TWEEK: Magic Trick

TOLKIEN: What

TWEEK: Hey you have a lot of free time when you live in a dumpster

CRAIG: Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link!

TOLKIEN: Whatever, please for the sake of our brain cells, never do that again

KENNY: I dunno

KENNY: I thought that was pretty cool

CRAIG: Kombucha? I LLLOOOVVVEEE KOMBUCHA! Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Humans

TWEEK: Freaks

TWEEK: Whatever your names are

TWEEK: Get in the fucking barn

TWEEK: Now, quoting the safety psas from Estella,

TWEEK: Don't open the door for strangers, Don’t investigate any random noises, don't take any offers from strange men in white vans, don't help anyone, if anyone says they're friends of your parents do not trust them

TWEEK: And for goodness sake,

TWEEK: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM

CRAIG: I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis!

STAN: One, what are we, five?

STAN: Second

STAN: It's a backup bunker, not  a barn

TWEEK: WHATEVER! JUST- GET IN

TWEEK: DO YOU WANNA LIVE OR NOT????

STAN: No

TWEEK: …

STAN: …

TWEEK: ….

STAN: ….

TWEEK: ….

TWEEK: O….

TWEEK: Kay…..

TWEEK: Just…..

TWEEK: Get in the barn

STAN: Fineeeee

STAN: Whatever

STAN: Fuck you

CRAIG: [ Gotta sleep in fucking pig shit this sucks fuck this ]

CLYDE: Hey

CLYDE: Hey CLYDE: Hey Tweek

TWEEK: Arrrghhh…What….

CLYDE: Do

CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think

CLYDE: Do you think we CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think we could

CLYDE: Maybe

CLYDE: Like

CLYDE: Go to like

CLYDE: Dennys

CLYDE: After this???

TWEEK: Whats

TWEEK: What's Dennys?

CLYDE: Oh

CLYDE: Uh

CLYDE: Maybe we could like

CLYDE: Go to Olive Garden then?

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What's an olive?

TWEEK: And

TWEEK: And what's a Garden?

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: Oh you poor

CLYDE: Sweet

CLYDE: Summer child

CLYDE: You know what

CLYDE: I'm gonna take you to the Olive Garden

CLYDE: And you're gonna have the time of your fucking life

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: O

TWEEK: OKAY?????

CLYDE: Alright

CLYDE: I’ll see you there babe

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: UHHH

TWEEK: WHAT

TWEEK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE TWEEK: WHAT???

TOLKIEN: Don’t fall for that shit

TOLKIEN: He doesn't wash his hands

TOLKIEN: Or his ass

TWEEK: Why's that relevant?

TOLKIEN: IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING?????

TWEEK: CHILL OUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD

TOLKIEN: YES IT IS??????

TWEEK: …Whatevs

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????

(edits made by @pissblanket)

[cyberbeast99]

Wolf in the City: Part 1

"You're kidding me. NOTHING in the fridge?" I stare into the empty depths of my refrigerator with the realization that I'd eaten my way through two weeks worth of groceries in only nine days. That full-moon werewolf bingefest a few nights ago had really taken a toll on my provisions. My second transformation hadn't been as eventful as the first. I still hadn't worked up the courage to go into the woods and hunt, so I'd stayed at home, watching movies and consuming enough food to make Nikocado Avocado jealous. I sigh, knowing I have to bite the bullet and go grocery shopping today. "Welp, might as well just get it done." About an hour later, after showering, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, and calling an Uber, I'm pushing my cart through the local supermarket. The thousands of scents of fruits, vegetables, meat, and scores of people overload my olfactory senses. I ignore the produce aisle and beeline to my new favourite area of the store, and soon enough my cart is loaded with a vegan's worst nightmare. I'm pretty much buying an entire butcher shop here: a few steaks, a roast, pork chops, a package each of chicken breasts, ground beef, bacon, and sausage. It's a no-brainer that I've become a bit of a carnivore. I move up and down the aisles, picking up more items: a jug of pulp-free orange juice, a box of frozen chicken nuggets, a few bags of Doritos, a dozen eggs, and a frozen cheesecake. I'm getting a few stares from other customers, but they're because of my spiky red Mohawk and my vintage leather jacket. I've heard of other therians having meltdowns in this grocery store due to attracting too much attention but I'm not too worried. The only way people could possibly tell that I'm not human is by noticing my yellow eyes or my pointy ears. I'm making my way towards checkout when CLANG! My ears explode with noise. I whip my head around and see a little boy, probably about eight years old, pull a shopping cart back from the wall, back up to the other end of the aisle, then charge his cart directly into the wall. CLANG! I clap my hands over my ears. It's so incredibly painful it draws tears from my eyes. The noise is probably just an annoyance to the other shoppers, but with my superhuman hearing, it's torture. The pain is so much that I don't notice the itching begin to spread across my body. My ears are still ringing when the little brat slams the cart into the wall again. CLANG! I feel a hand tap me on the shoulder. A woman asks "Are you alright-" I snap my head around and growl at her. She retreats. Where the hell did that come from, a small part of my brain wonders. But the rest of my brain is too preoccupied with the pain to answer that question. A pain that has begun to spread throughout my entire body. CLANG! I drop like a sack of potatoes and begin to writhe on the ground. "Call 911, he's having a seizure!" a man shouts. The screams start as the fur sprouts and my face twists into a canine snout. Bones crack. My clawed paws rip through my shoes. My mind is screaming at me in complete shock and panic. This isn't supposed to happen! The clanging stops. The world becomes silent, save for the dozens of thudding heartbeats and panicky breaths. The air is redolent with the stench of fear, a hundred times stronger than when I smelled it from Candy. I open my eyes as the pain fades. And glance around at the horror I've wrought. Everyone in the store is crowded together in a ring around me, though nobody's close than two meters. Their faces show various expressions of shock, terror, and fear. Half a dozen people have their phones out, recording the sorry scene. The little brat who caused all this is sobbing into his mother's shirt. She looks at me with absolute horror. Every muscle in my body activates at once as the panicked animal in me takes control. I leap to my feet and start to run. On all fours. And I don't stop. The crowd parts before me like the Red Sea. The automatic doors slide open. And then there's just the wind rushing through my fur, the thud of my paws on the pavement, and the tears rushing out my eyes.

[vegan-nom-noms]

Vegan Taiwanese Gua Bao

[morethansalad]

Blackberry BBQ Pulled Jackfruit Sandwiches + Cilantro Pepper Slaw (Vegan)

[yjhariani]

hiii dear!!

how are you? i hope that ur fine:) i really don't know if ur requests are open, please ignore this if it's not. could you maybe make a oneshot about Ghost seeing reader for the first time and he gets to know that she is muslim (how would he react?)and how would their small interaction turn into something more....

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day!!🫶

Thank you!

For the record, I don't think I'll ever open request, but if you send me an ask and I can work with it, I might. Also, if it's Ramadan/Eid related stuff I'll post them during Ramadan and Eid since we're almost there.

When you entered the restaurant, you found your friend, Gaz, already there with his squad. There was an extra seat on the table.  None of them noticed you until you arrived at the table and took a seat.

“Hi,” you greeted, looking around the table.

Eventually, your eyes stopped at the mask wearing man. You knew this would be the infamous Ghost and you just saw half of his face from the nose bridge up.

Your seat was placed next to him. Facing the wall. It might be because he did not want to be seen by the majority had he sat facing the other side. This way, you would not be able to actually look at him unless you turn your head towards him.

“Uh… this is my friend from intelligence,” Gaz chimed in. “The one I’m talking about. We can call—”

“Me classified because I just broke a bunch of rules,” you cut Gaz off. “I know who you guys are, no need for introduction.”

“You said you have information about the man we’re after?” the captain proceeded.

“Yes,” you nodded and put a file case on the table.

A pause.

“We’re about to… place our orders, maybe you’d like to order something?” Soap offered.

“Are there halal options?” you asked.

The men on the table exchanged glances.

“Elaborate?” Soap replied.

“Something that doesn’t have pork or alcohol. Or not cooked using the same utensils as something that does. Even meat is kinda complicated. I should’ve probably said vegan, it’s easier for people to understand,” you explained and ended it with an awkward chuckle.

There was another halt.

“Um… never mind. I’ll have water,” you said.

“I’m pretty sure I read salad on the menu,” Ghost said, eyeing Gaz as if to blame the sergeant.

“That’s my bad. I should’ve probably told them that you have a religious diet before we picked the restaurant,” Gaz said.

“I’m here to make sure that you’re being provided proper information before you leave, so food is not really my concern at the moment,” you said. “I mean, I could lose my job, but, sure, I’ll have a salad.”

There was a second where you and Ghost were looking at one another.

“So, what’s this?” Captain Price gestured at the file.

With that, you started explaining what you had. After hearing what you leaked, they were quite expressive towards how much they disliked your superior.

The squad started talking with you about your intel and eventually doing it whilst eating. It was hard not to keep looking at the man sitting next to you every now and again because he pulled his mas down whilst he eat. You made sure to give him his space.

By the end of your meal, everything was caught up and they seemed more eager to get their current mission done with.

Before leaving, the captain excused himself to take care of the bills. At the same time, Gaz left to go to the toilet. That left you, Ghost, and Soap.

Ghost tossed the car key towards Soap, telling him to ready the car. Soap eyed the two of you for the first couple of seconds, but took off anyway. When he did, you gathered yourself and was ready to leave.

You looked at Ghost and found him already looking at you.

“Halal food, you’re a muslim?” Ghost asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“I picked the restaurant. If I’d known, I would’ve picked a different one,” Ghost said.

“It’s alright. As I said, I’m not meeting you to eat,” you replied.

Ghost only looked at you after that.

“Well, good luck on your mission,” you said as you stood up. “I better leave, too, else I’m gonna miss my prayer. Hopefully we won’t have to meet in this circumstance again.”

“Thank you,” Ghost said.

“It’s alright,” you said. “Bye.”

You had already stepped away when Ghost called, “Wait.”

Hearing that, you stopped and turned your head around. You stepped back towards the table. Ghost stood up.

“Under different circumstances, in a different restaurant, at an appropriate time, maybe you’d like to, uh… eat with me?” Ghost carefully asked. “I would’ve asked you for a drink, but I know I can’t do that, so—I mean, if you like tea or coffee, that’s….”

Ghost did not get to finish his sentence, but he saw you smiling and nodded once, taking that you understood what he was saying.

“Yeah,” you said. “Totally.”

“Great,” Ghost said. “I can get your number, then? Your name? I don’t know your name. Unless it really is Classified.”

“It is,” you chuckled.

Looking at the table, you saw a clean napkin and took out your pen. You wrote down your number and name as quickly as possible. You gave it to him. He folded it in half and put it into his jacket pocket.

“Thank you,” Ghost said.

“No, thank you,” you replied.

By then, the captain returned and witnessed the exchange.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Additional intel. It’s not that important,” you said. “I really wish you guys luck for this mission. Have a great week.”

“Good luck to you, too,” Captain Price said. “Don’t get caught.”

[ratsoh-writes]

Mirla looked at him like he just said spiders are bugs.

Mirla: Wha- why would he want that?

Poor summer baby doesn't know what is coming.

The fight between the fire katana mage and the cat did not interest her, so she thought it was a good time to pull out all the food that she brought for the occasion. She gave Mutt a vegan burger, Pesto and Gold got mini shepherd's pies, Snow some risotto, Sir got dumplings with pork filling, and Dove a non-vegan burger. She told them that they could change if they didn't want anything.

......

...........

Oh, and she brought food for herself too. It was a tofu dish that she saw on YouTube.

Mutt: y’ gonna need more calories than that sweetheart~

He brought food too, some energy balls of honey nuts and chocolate and puts two on her plate. Seeing this, gold and snow whisper to each other gushingly lol

He’s quite happy to receive his burger though and bites into it

Pesto: … ah are you… vegetarian..?

Out of all the brothels, mirla noticed that mutt seemed almost warm with pesto. She isn’t sure why but it’s nice seeing two of her friends being friendly

Ok so the brothels rolls with mutt: gold: 14, butler: 10, sir: 9 Flambe: 17, pesto: 18, weasel: 7 lol, snow: 14

Mutt: not really, meats just never my first choice. It’s always too heavy feelin’

[afterdarkprincess]

Hi lovely 💕

For the sleepover questions:

- Tell us your Solo/Sami headcanons.

- Tell us your CM Punk/Drew headcanons.

- And for good measure please add your Sami/Jey & your Ambreigns headcanons as well while you’re at it.

FMK: Roman, Seth, Mox

FMK: Solo, Sami, Jey

FMK: Punk, Drew, Cody

FMK: Jade, Naomi, Bianca

FMK: Rhea, Liv, Becky

Questions, questions, questions:

- What’s an accomplishment/ thing in your life you’re very proud of?

- Name three things you love about yourself?

- What makes you furious in fandom spaces (your fandom pet peeves so to say)?

- Who was your first celebrity crush? Who’s your latest?

- Who do you adore on this website (aka tumblr crushes)?

- What do you find attractive in a person (physically and personality wise)?

- Favorite story you ever wrote?

- Favorite story someone else wrote?

- Your current favorite song?

- One ingredient/ dish you love and one you despise?

This or that:

- Cats and/or dogs?

- Coffee and/or tea?

- Hiking, cycling or swimming?

- Pizza or pasta?

- Mexican, Chinese or Indian takeout? Or something else?

- Cooking, baking or ordering in?

- Quiet night in or a night out socializing with friends?

- Cold weather or hot weather?

- Pants, skirts or dresses?

This got a little out of hand oops 😂

Feel free to answer whatever you wanna answer and skip whatever you don’t. Or answer everything. Up to you. Happy sleepover!

Hugs and kisses 💖

AHHH Thank you!!!!! I've been so excited all day to get home and hae time to answer these!!

Gonna answer under the cut because I'm sure this will be long lol 💖💖💖

💕Solo/Sami headcanons

I feel like a LOT of my headcanons on Solo and Sami come from one specific fic on AO3- The Solo Man

I love Solo as being selectively mute and/or very shy. I haven't really gotten to explore this with Solo in my fics very much, but I'm really looking forward to doing so.

I do feel like Solo has such a soft spot for Sami (I mean I have eyes) Sami was a real source of kindness for him when he really didn't have that from anyone.

💕CM Punk/Drew McIntyre headcanons

oh noooo my brainrot lol

They're TOXIC as fuck, they bring out the worst in each other. I can't find anything sweet or soft in them, it's obsession, it's raw, it's violent. Possessive and Obsessive.

And they fuck nasty obviously. I tend to prefer Bottom Drew, something so fun about subverting their size difference but I'll eat up anything.

💕Samijey headcanons

Ahhhh I just love them- I feel like a lot of my headcanons POP out in my fics. I feel like Jey Uso is an acts of service guy. I think he does anything and everything to make sure that Sami feels taken care of. This shows up really early on in Devil in the Details and uhhh fun fact I wrote the first part of that fic before I knew that Sami was vegan, hence why there are SO many references to Jey cooking chicken for Sami. It was too integral to how I was having Jey show his affection to take it out, so for that one fic Sami is just no pork not vegan lol

Sami talks ALL the time, and Jey pretends to be annoyed but the constant stream of consciousness is actually so comforting to him. He very rarely has to worry about what Sami is thinking or feeling because he will just tell him.

Jey cut those crop tops so Sami would look at him.

From You're My Keeper (Pull Me Deeper):

“You really like my waist, huh?” he murmured. 

As if to prove his point, Sami sank his teeth into the soft flesh under his bellybutton. “Can’t stop looking at it,” Sami whispered into his skin. “So fucking perfect. Those stupid crop tops are fucking killing me, dude.”

“Really? Hm, I thought so.”

Sami’s head shot up. “You knew?”

Jey blushed. “I guess, I kinda knew you were like… Looking. I guess I thought… Nevermind, this is fucking embarrassing.” He clapped his hands over his face. 

“You thought what?” He felt Sami tugging at his fingers, and Jey reluctantly let his hands get pulled away. Sami had the worst look on his face, smug and bemused. Didn’t he know this was absolute torture?

“I don’t know, I thought maybe if I cut the shirts shorter, then like… You know… You’d look at me more,” Jey pushed out through clenched teeth. Scratch that, this was the worst look. Sami positively beamed, fondness radiating out from him in shameless sunshine rays. If he was a dog, he’d surely be wagging his tail like a maniac. Jey tried not to linger on that thought too long.

“Jesus you are so fucking cute,” Sami wheezed, burying his face into Jey’s chest.

Literally one of my favorite fics ever- I reread it all the damn time. (If the author of this fic is on here?? let me know pls & I'll tag you��)

And I do think that Sami/Jey switch up who tops and bottoms, but I'm always here for bottom!Jey, sweet pillow princess.

💕Ambreigns headcanons

OO this is a good one- I typically go for Ambrolleigns (bc they all have two hands) or Ambrollins because of my donut sister @elementaldoughnut12 I feel like where Dean and Seth have that very turbulent high passion love, Dean and Roman have a level of like rock solid devotion?? Someone that they can always rely on, coming even closer together after everything fell apart with Seth.

Even more than Seth's betrayal, Dean leaving spurred on the creation of the Tribal Chief. Roman, alone and brokenhearted, left by the man who he thought would never leave him, turns himself into something cold and cruel. Makes himself monstrous, surrounds himself by a cheap copy of what they had.

He wants Dean back, wants it more than anything, but some part of him is terrified that Dean will reject him, will detest what he has become.

💕Fuck, Marry, Kill

FMK: Roman, Seth, Mox

Fuck: Roman (I'm gonna need that tongue baby good lord)

Marry: Mox 100%, I'm gonna need to hit that multiple times, and also I feel like our personalities are really complimentary

Kill: RIP I'm so sorry Seth, please keep serving even in Death

FMK: Solo, Sami, Jey

Fuck: Solo- and he needs to bring the gloves okay? 🥵

Marry: Jey 🩵

Kill: Sami :( I hate to kill my hubby's hubby though

FMK: Punk, Drew, Cody

Fuck: Cody (he's hot, IDK that I'd wanna deal with him all the time)

Marry: CM Punk.... listenn

Kill: Drew- would need to take him out to marry Punk anyway

FMK: Jade, Naomi, Bianca

Fuck: JADE- HELLO?? PLEASE???

Marry: Naomi- Jimmy can come too

Kill: Bianca

FMK: Rhea, Liv, Becky

Fuck: Liv

Marry: Please, please Mami, I'm-PLEASE?

Kill: Becky, RIP girlie

💕Questions, questions, questions:

- What’s an accomplishment/ thing in your life you’re very proud of?

90k words posted on AO3 as of today has me feeling really good. I challenged myself at the beginning of the year to get to 100k by the end of 2024, but even where I'm at now... a year ago I would have laughed at you if you told me that. I've been writing in spits and spurts my whole life, but I really lacked confidence to do anything with my fanworks. I usually didn't even finish them. Before this last year, the most I had written was 2 NaNoWriMo attempts, both sat at around 25-30k and were never completed. And now with the all the support I've gotten here and on AO3, I've had the most creative period in my life. It makes me tear up thinking about it honestly.

- Name three things you love about yourself?

My passion, my sense of humor, and my tits lol

- What makes you furious in fandom spaces (your fandom pet peeves so to say)?

The only pet peeve I really have is like being rude and giving people shit for what they like and don't like?? Like I've been around since the days of Don't Like, Don't Read. If you don't like something, it's not for you, it costs zero dollars to shut the fuck up.

- Who was your first celebrity crush? Who’s your latest?

Oh gosh, so many. I mean the first would definitely be Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon 💖💖 Daniel Radcliffe when I got a little older and realized I wasn't going to be able to marry a cartoon. Right now? I mean all of those hot Samoans first of all. Rhea Ripley, obv. Moxley.

- Who do you adore on this website (aka tumblr crushes)?

EVERYONE lol this list is gonna be so long @feelschicken who has been my IRL bestie for like 20+ years at this point, who allowed me to drag her into Wrestling via several hour long conversations in the car where I would literally yell about the Bloodline

@elementaldoughnut12 my donut sister who has inspired so many of my fics and cheered me on through so much of this last year. Love you so much punkin 🥰

@harmshake my beloved tumblr gf, a constant source of positivity in my life 💖 Not to mention she writes the HOTTEST fics omg

@southerngirl41 who's been on the tag squad since the BEGINNING and I appreciate her comments so much

@jeysbvck Shan 💙 because we're both unhinged and feral for Jey- she just gets me

@imabillyami of course you too obviously- you are so sweet and not to mention your fics are amazing

@rollinsland who keeps my dash FULL of content of all my faves, and is so so sweet

@shanie-the-komania-toyaddict my Zowens connection, and another amazing sweet person

@motherknuckers I think we share a braincell for real

@samijey because like... A Way With Words is THE Sami/Jey fic, not to mention her amazing gif skills 😍

@thlayli-ra who definitely gave me the Punkintyre brainrot

@who-do-you-want-to-be MY SWEET KOALA FRIEND

@jeyuwuso WHOSE FIC I LINKED EARLIER, literally love all their work!!!

@taydaq her ART, especially Samijey 🥹

I know I'm missing people, I could be at this all night: @crxssjae @hypno-bear-tini @rosiel77 @mzv11 @theninthwonder @dontletme--cavein @codyswhitebelt @jobikinn if I missed others I'm so sorry 😭 and if tumblr messes up these tags I'll scream

- What do you find attractive in a person (physically and personality wise)?

Humor, they gotta be funny. They gotta make me laugh or we're not gonna work. We gotta be silly goosing.

- Favorite story you ever wrote?

Ours is still my favorite

- Favorite story someone else wrote?

oooo yay it's rec time!!! Already called out a few but here's some more:

Green - my favorite Candy fic

Losers and Loss - a Zowens fic that melted my brain into absolute goo I said The Solo Man already but also Pretty which spurred on my love of bottom!jey and Jey in pretty lingerie

Sticks & Stones and also Green-Eyed Monster - both by the Zesty Bean, all of their works are great but those are my favorites

Silver Knight and Little Clover - my donut sister knows how to make a rarepair that I'll go nuts for

And I could not forget I've got you to lose ... of COURSE 💕 maybe gimme a heads up before you post that last chapter so I can get all my favorite snacks and be prepared.

- Your current favorite song?

Guilty as Sin? - Taylor Swift

- One ingredient/ dish you love and one you despise?

Oo good question- I'm a big fries and ranch girlie (the midwest in me popping out) and for despise??? mmm it's gonna be pickles, they're gross to me.

💕This or that:

- Cats and/or dogs?

Cats 🐈

- Coffee and/or tea?

Coffee ☕️

- Hiking, cycling or swimming?

Swimming 🌊

- Pizza or pasta?

Pizza🍕

- Mexican, Chinese or Indian takeout? Or something else?

For takeout specifically it's gonna be Chinese

- Cooking, baking or ordering in?

Cooking!

- Quiet night in or a night out socializing with friends?

I love a good night out once in a while, but I prefer a night in

- Cold weather or hot weather?

Hot weather ☀️

- Pants, skirts or dresses?

DRESSES 👗

---

whew.... that took a while but it was so fun honestly 😅

[daffodilhorizon]

Vegan Masterpost

Want to make a change for the animals, for the planet and for your fellow humans? Here's how to start: 1. Replace your favorites with plant based ones. Look up vegan recipes + your fav meals. Stop buying animal products and start buying alternatives! That's basically it! You're probably going to start getting exposed to a bunch of new plants and flavors to cook with. Embrace the fun! I'm not going to lie, you will probably crave animal flavors and textures at first. There's nothing wrong with having these cravings, just accept they are normal and will go away. 2. Look up vegan nutrition needs. You will probably need to supplement with B12 (found in fortified foods, such as fortified cereals or nutritional yeast). This is fine. Supplements are a good things! We put iodine in salt, and most carnist cereals and cow's milk are fortified for a reason. Take advantage of modern efficiency and accept that fortified foods and occasional supplementation is normal and healthy. My doctor recommends everyone where i live to take vitamin D daily, due to the lack of sunlight. Getting nutritional needs met in the most efficient and cruelty free way is good, actually. If you have specific needs around allergies or are dealing with an eating disorder, talk to a vegan nutritionist if you can afford it, otherwise consult with the vegan community and do your best.

3. Start using a cronomoter if that feels okay for you mentally. A lot of vegans don't eat enough at first! We need to load up on those delicious carbs and protein rich foods and keep consuming fats. 4. Integrate yourself into the community! Join vegan facebook groups, vegan hobby groups, vegan book clubs, follow the vegan tag. Follow animal sanctuaries on every social media. Seeing animals as animals and not objects is a big step in being vegan and seeing how happy these animals are in fulfilling caring environments is a positive reminder of the difference you're making. The hardest part of being vegan is the reaction from non-vegans. If you feel supported through the vegan community, you're much less likely to feel strong in the face of non-vegan pressure to conform or "cheat". A lot of us are genuinely pretty welcoming, probably because vegans are more likely to be liberal, poor, nonwhite, and lgbt+ than average. 5. Educate yourself! Read through vegan books, watch educational videos about what animals go through, and/or look at the vegan boot-camp. You are not required or expected to put yourself through watching animal violence, but if you have trouble connecting to the animals and think you can deal with it, it can help you realize how horrible and violent their lives and deaths are. I personally have not seen Dominion nor do i plan to, i have no need. The only people who need to be watching that stuff is non-vegans who are dismissive of the suffering animals go through. 6. Prepare yourself for a lot of unprompted excuses and defensiveness around non-vegans! Here's some lists of common "gotchas". You'll have them memorized within the first 3 months because of how often you'll hear them. There's also vegan debaters on youtube if that's your jam. Remember, you can always disengage and say "honoring my personal values is important to me and you should respect that" if you don't know what to say or don't want to argue. NOW FOR THE FUN PART Replace WHAT with WHAT? TEXTURES: make sure to get extra firm tofu! ground beef -> textured vegetable protein steak -> seitan steak recipes shredded chicken -> jackfruit sliced chicken -> soy curls, Tofu Fish textures -> watermelon (seriously) Unagi -> eggplant Bacon -> Tofu or rice paper Popcorn Chicken -> breaded soy curls lunchmeat -> vegan lunchmeat, or make your own with seitan/tofu Tuna or chicken salad -> chickpea salad Fried Chicken -> Fried Oyster Mushrooms or Tofu pulled pork --> Jackfruit Cow's milk -> any non-dairy milk! You can also make your own very easily Butter -> margarine Cheese -> vegan cheese, or make your own! Eggs -> Tofu, or mung bean egg, eggy yolk recipe In Recipes: Replace eggs with flax seeds or yoghurt, aquafaba, silken tofu, applesauce, banana, pumpkin, chia, baking soda & vinegar Flavors! Beefy -> Basically just salt with some umami Chickeny -> kinda salty, kinda herby Bacony -> liquid smoke, salt, and some sweetness Eggy -> use black salt Cheesy -> nooch please! Sweet -> maple, agave

7. If you drink alcohol, check barnivore to make sure your wines and beers weren't processed using fish guts! 8. Don't purchase any new products made from taking from animals. This means looking for cruelty free grooming items, cruelty free textiles, and avoiding animal exploitation like purchasing from breeders or riding horses. Obviously, necessary medication is the exception. 9. Be extra kind to animals in your real life :) They deserve extra love. Learn to put spiders outside and how to deal with "pests" by preventing them. 10. You are now vegan! Welcome! We're happy to have you! :D You will probably stumble a little bit or not know things like how some sugar is processed with charr from animal bones! That's okay, just keep learning and keep your eye on the positives.