#vegan cyclist

[deadbilly]

Do people actually like squatters?

[sportsandlaughs]

[modern-inheritance]

Uh oh. More things are coming out about plants being intelligent (to an extent and not in the conventional sense).

Your move, Inheritance Cycle elves.

[walkingdetroit]

Tuesday Ride in North Corktown

Pink Flamingo has outdoor dinners every Thursday from 6-10pm at 2746 Vermont Street!

[sophisticatedgia]

Pink v neck shirt again and burgundy mauve cardigan, leggings, pinkish neck warmer. Still, empty, free. Birdsong surrounds me with ineffable essence. Cars passing by like crashing waves of the ocean. But don't worry, they aren't actually getting into crashes. Big tree, squirrel climbing. Another car wave. 🌊 Words of the world and inner life. Look! Another squirrel climbing! I love their bushy tails. What will I eat today? I need to buy meals. I'm thinking another vegan ravioli. Or maybe I should go for the vegan Asian dumplings. It's just a bit less filling than the ravioli. I know what I'll do! Daiya Alfredo with mushrooms. Mom got me mushrooms. Looking behind me as I cross the street, I peek pale orange, pastel yellow, and hot pink eroding arising the sky. Kinda like my hot pink shirt. I don't want to move out, I want to stay in place. But it's cluttered and disorganized and emotionally difficult to integrate. I wonder how it will be once we move into new apartment? There should surely be more structure and organization, less clutter. My boyfriend got an e-bike for transportation. I'm happy for him. I used to be a cyclist. It almost felt like surfing going downhill and onto main roads weaving in and out between motor vehicles. I used to want to be a surfer. It's my favorite sport but I've never practiced it.

[blubushie]

Disclaimer: none of this is to be taken seriously.

DNI IF YOU:

Are vegan (vegetarians are fine)

Are a cyclist (bikies, you're on thin fucking ice)

Don't like flanno

Are scared of snakes

Are scared of bugs

Unironically say "NAURRR" (Aussies are exempt)

Drive a manual (I'm jealous of you)

Scream when you're afraid or startled

Don't take your shoes off indoors (WTF is wrong with you?)

Have never loved the stars too fondly

Claim your favourite flower is roses

Like the colour pink

Don't wear a watch

Don't like vegemite (WTF is wrong with you? x2)

If you DO like vegemite, DNI if you eat it at level 6 or anything below 3

Eat vegemite plain off the spoon (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? x3)

Call all cattle "cows"

Use chapstick (let your lips split like a real man)

Weren't sacrificed on the altar of Victoria Bitter

You drink Foster's

Call thongs "flip-flops" (wrong) or "jandals" (inhuman)

Are a ranga

Wear neon colours (hunting orange is fine, safety green is only permissible for tradies)

Like wearing shoes

Wear socks and ESPECIALLY if you sleep with socks on

Like maths (you're an alien)

Wash your face every morning

Don't know how to change a tyre

Think heat above 80F/25C is "unbearable"

Have never ridden a horse

Don't know the difference between revolvers and pistols

Have, at any point, unironically uttered the phrase "assault rifle"

Are from M*lbourne (Victorians, you're on thin fucking ice)

Are from New Zealand (Aotearoans, you're fine)

Are French/speak French (Africans, you're on thin fucking ice)

Are Canadian (exempt if you're the TikTok lumberjack lady)

Are French-Canadian (double-wrong)

Are English. The rest of the UK, you're on thin ice.

Are from a city with a population higher than 1mil. People from cities with populations of 30k to 999k are on thin fucking ice. People from cities/town/shires/villages with less than 30k I love you.

Think "bogan" is an insult

Don't shave with a knife (people who use straight razors, you're on thin fucking ice, people who don't shave at all I love you)

Have never been sunburnt (only for people who can get sunburnt)

Don't like camping

Own decorative towels and ESPECIALLY if you get mad at people for using them. It's a bloody towel and I'm using it for its intended purpose

Believe in astrology

Have a skincare routine and/or wear makeup

Drive a Toyota Prius

DON'T love thunderstorms

Were born after 2023

Think catching toads to get high is "animal abuse" (the toads are fine unless they're cane toads, fuck cane toads, all my mates hate cane toads)

You microwave water for any reason

Have never been to a B&S ball

Don't believe in aliens

Are taller than 158cm/5'2"

Take multivitamins (aka you are healthier than me)

Haven't read my fic (minors exempt, do not read it)

Don't like bush ballads or sea shanties. I'm going to show up at your house and aggressively sing Waltzing Matilda at 3am outside your bedroom window

Think the term "blackfella" is racist

Would give me up, tell a lie, and hurt me

Don't bless the rains down in Africa

You shave your eyebrows

And the only LEGITIMATE ONE on this list...

People who think/call Sniper TF2 a Kiwi. If you'd call Sniper (who left New Zealand as an infant and spent his whole life in Australia and didn't even know his Australian parents weren't his birth parents until he was 30) a Kiwi, then you would call me an American because I was born in America and moved to Australia when I was two. You need to re-evaluate how you see migrants, relationships to culture, and adoptees.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Tumblr is not a popularity contest.

Followers and notes DO NOT matter!

Just post what you love and reblog fun stuff too!

It’s not that serious.

If you do get followers, take a couple seconds to verify they’re not one of those sex bots.

No one knows why they are even here, but if you just ignore them, their other sex bot friends will swarm you and you’ll have no real people appreciating your nonsense.

If someone is rude or crazy, just block them. This is a place for your joy.

Unless your joy is being crazy and rude, then rage into the universe and maybe you’ll find other crazy, rude people that would love to fight you.

Here at tumblr, anything goes!

You can be straight, gay, trans, non-binary and everything else there is! I am not leaving anyone out on purpose, I just don’t know them all, but you can be that here!

You can be any race, from any country, speaking any language. Language can be a speed bump, but we all love pics and can appreciate funny videos of animals doing something. They don’t speak your language either!

You can be an Olympic athlete, plus size queen, role player, fan fiction writer, student, chef, fire fighter, car hop, financial business analyst, train conductor, environmentalist, porn star, vegan, cyclist, soldier or any other thing in life and you’ll find your people here.

So don’t hold back! Be yourself and you’ll find others that appreciate you. Also, share those that you appreciate. A like is nice but if you think something is great, reblog it and spread the love. There’s no better compliment than when someone shares your little posts.

[blusbushco]

*pushes application forward- basic stuff. not a vegan or a cyclist, can sympathize bc of a burning hatred for rental electric scooters. knows spanish, not french.* I heard you needed some help with the bo- disposal. I know a bit about that. And dubious creachers. I have some of my own supplies too grins (Forewarning- I might hold onto some of the creacher bones. For investigation. If that's alright.)

Oho! Hired! Wait-

Where's my fucking "HIRED" stamp? SEVEN!

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Kinne Tonight - Say Cheese

Date: Jun 22, 2019

Wait on, I'll just ask this guy. Excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of us?

Yeah, no problem.

Thank you.

Okay, everybody say "cheese!"

Oh, actually, I'm a vegan. Could you please have us say something else?

Okay, everybody say "tofu."

Tofu's not actually as good for you as vegans think. Any crossfitter'll tell you that. It's bad for your testosterone levels.

Okay, I'm sorry, how about we all just smile?

Oh, if one more asshole asks me to smile.

Not really an asshole, taking a photo for you, so.

What's there to smile about anyway?

Okay... would you like me to just count backwards from 3?

Oh, would you like dyslexic people to just not exist?

My cousin has dyslexia so, offended.

Adopted. Don't even know who my cousins are so, more offended.

How about this? We all put a word we're comfortable with in our heads and I'll get the shot.

No, doesn't sound very inclusive though, does it? I supposed you'd like us all to stand a few meters apart would you, Stalin?

Jesus Christ.

Well, I don't see what religion has to do with this.

Well, I'm an atheist so, majorly triggered.

Is that a comment on the gun debate? Still trying to control people.

It's not just the people. Has anyone thought about the animals?

Look, this is what we're gonna do. Everybody throw up a peace sign and I'll take a photo.

Wow. Cultural appropriation is alive and well. Why don't you just ask us to say "kung-fu"?

Guess what, new plan. Group selfie. Ready, set, go. Boom. And looks awesome, you're gonna love it.

What?

Nice to meet you.

You took it with the front camera you stupid cyclist dick!

[jhoumous]

Vegan cyclists

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance: Earned (Short)

(A/N: Set a few days after Arya wakes up post-Gil'ead escape.)

~~~

Eragon sat beside the elf and passed her a bowl of the half warmed slop Brom had dished out. She muttered a distracted thanks and set it down, going back to digging in her pack.

“Trying to get to the other side of the Hells there?” Murtagh asked, popping a handful of dried nuts in his mouth. The ration packs they had pilfered from Gil’ead weren’t the most appetizing, but they had good snacks to supplement the awful meals. 

Arya grunted a noncommittal response, shoving aside a weapons cleaning kit. “It’s gotta be in here, I never forget to pack it.”

“Maybe someone took whatever it is out?” Eragon spooned some of the gruel into his mouth and winced. Highly nutritious, yes. Kept you on your feet, yes. But if he never ate another MRE in his life after they got to the Varden then it would be too soon. Through their link he could feel Saphira crunching down on a deer carcass not too far from their hidden camp. She swatted away his half serious suggestion she share.

“No, the pack’s locked with a print scanner, you can’t get in it unlessAH HA!” The woman let out a quiet triumphant whoop and, in an altogether uncharacteristic display of excitement, wiggled side to side as she pulled out a thin, palm sized package. 

The gathered men stared. Whatever it was, it didn’t look all that remarkable. Wrapped in brown paper, one corner torn and revealing a shiny foil below, it was only remarkable in how ordinary it looked. 

Completely oblivious to their deadpan stare, Arya let out happy noise and tore the packaging off before taking a large bite of the firm substance within. 

That’s when Brom let out a somewhat disbelieving scoff. “Chocolate? Really?”

The elf scowled up at him. “Shut up, I earned this.”

Murtagh and Eragon both leaned towards the woman when the word ‘chocolate’ came into play.

“Say, Arya.” The young Rider gave her his best smile, voice entirely innocent. “What do you say? Share with your favorite Dragon Rider?” 

“Yeah, that whole debt thing. Saved you and all that.” Murtagh’s fingers itched to grab the treat. He hadn’t had chocolate, real chocolate, in years. “Maybe you should pay up.”

“Hell no! Get your own!”

[the-gentleman-sockmonkey]

AAAAND VEGANS TAKE THE INSUFFERABLE FUCKS LEAD BACK FROM THE CYCLISTS

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

[shammadigital]

 Top 10 Energy Bars for a Quick and Healthy Snack

Energy bars have become a staple for anyone looking for a quick, convenient, and nutritious snack. Whether you're rushing between meetings, need a pre-workout boost, or simply want a healthy option while on the go, energy bars are a fantastic choice. One of the best options on the market today is the Adishtu Energy Bar, known for its high-quality ingredients and balanced nutrition.

Here’s a list of the top 10 energy bars that provide a perfect mix of taste and health:

Adishtu Energy Bar – Packed with essential nutrients, it’s ideal for anyone seeking a natural energy boost. Whether you’re an athlete or a busy professional, this energy bar is a great option.

RXBAR – Known for its clean ingredients, with no added sugars or preservatives.

Clif Bar – A popular choice among hikers and cyclists, loaded with carbs and protein.

KIND Bar – Made from nuts, fruits, and whole grains, this bar offers a tasty, healthy option.

Quest Bar – A low-carb, high-protein option perfect for fitness enthusiasts.

Larabar – Made with just a few whole ingredients, Larabar is a great natural snack.

ThinkThin – Provides a good amount of protein without extra calories.

GoMacro – Organic, vegan, and gluten-free, this is a top pick for health-conscious individuals.

Nature Valley – Known for its crunchy texture and whole grain content.

Perfect Bar – A refrigerated option that’s rich in protein and whole foods.

While there are many options available, the Adishtu Energy Bar stands out due to its focus on natural ingredients and balanced nutrition, making it a go-to choice for both energy and health-conscious consumers.

[aohoshiart]

Boost Your Strength with Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

When it comes to getting the most out of your workouts, incorporating pre workout vegan protein powder into your routine can be a game-changer. Unlike many traditional protein supplements, this plant-based option is designed to give you sustained energy without the digestive discomfort that some dairy-based products can cause. By using ingredients such as chia seeds, quinoa, and sunflower proteins, it provides a rich source of protein that is easily absorbed by the body. This helps to maintain muscle strength and stamina during even the most intense exercise sessions. Pre workout vegan protein powder is not just about protein; it often includes a variety of other performance-enhancing ingredients. For example, natural caffeine sources like green tea or matcha may be included to give you a safe and steady boost of energy.

Benefits of Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder for Endurance Athletes

Pre workout vegan protein powder provides an excellent source of energy for endurance athletes. Unlike traditional protein powders, which often rely on animal-based ingredients, vegan options are crafted from plant-based proteins like peas, hemp, and brown rice. These sources are rich in essential amino acids, making them ideal for muscle repair and recovery. Endurance athletes benefit from the sustained energy provided by the slow-digesting carbohydrates and proteins in these powders. Additionally, pre workout vegan protein powder often includes added vitamins and minerals that support hydration and electrolyte balance. This makes it a great choice for long-distance runners, cyclists, or swimmers looking to maintain peak performance while adhering to a plant-based diet.

How Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder Supports Muscle Recovery?

For those seeking quicker muscle recovery, pre workout vegan protein powder is a perfect solution. Packed with high-quality plant-based proteins, this supplement aids in repairing muscles after intense training sessions. It contains all nine essential amino acids, critical for rebuilding muscle fibers that break down during exercise. Moreover, many vegan protein powders are enhanced with ingredients like turmeric or beetroot, known for their anti-inflammatory properties. These added components help reduce muscle soreness, making recovery faster and more efficient. By incorporating pre workout vegan protein powder into your routine, you can speed up recovery times and get back to training sooner.

Clean Ingredients in Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

Pre workout vegan protein powder is known for its clean ingredients, making it an attractive choice for health-conscious individuals. Unlike many traditional supplements that may contain artificial flavors, sweeteners, and preservatives, vegan protein powders are typically made from natural ingredients. Popular sources of protein include peas, brown rice, and hemp, all of which provide a complete amino acid profile without the need for synthetic additives. Additionally, many of these powders are gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free, catering to individuals with dietary restrictions or allergies. With pre workout vegan protein powder, you can fuel your workouts without worrying about harmful chemicals or artificial ingredients.

Eco-Friendly Benefits of Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

Choosing pre workout vegan protein powder is not just beneficial for your body; it’s also great for the planet. Vegan protein powders are typically derived from sustainable plant sources, such as peas, hemp, and chia seeds. These crops have a smaller environmental footprint compared to animal-based proteins like whey or casein. Growing plant-based protein requires less water, land, and energy, making it a more eco-friendly choice. Additionally, many manufacturers of vegan protein powder prioritize eco-conscious packaging, further reducing environmental impact. By choosing pre workout vegan protein powder, you're supporting a more sustainable and environmentally friendly fitness journey.

Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder for Vegans and Non-Vegans Alike

Although pre workout vegan protein powder is formulated for vegans, it’s suitable for non-vegans as well. The high-quality protein sources used in these powders provide the same benefits as traditional protein powders, including muscle repair, energy boosts, and improved performance. Non-vegans often choose vegan protein powders due to their clean ingredient lists and the absence of common allergens like dairy or gluten. Whether you follow a plant-based diet or not, pre workout vegan protein powder offers a powerful, allergen-free alternative that supports muscle growth and recovery without compromising on taste or nutrition.

Choosing the Right Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder for Your Needs

Selecting the right pre workout vegan protein powder depends on your individual fitness goals and dietary preferences. If you’re looking to build muscle, opt for a protein powder that contains a complete amino acid profile, such as those made from peas, hemp, or quinoa. For those focused on endurance, choose a powder with added carbohydrates for sustained energy during long workouts. Additionally, consider any dietary restrictions or allergies when selecting your product, as many vegan protein powders are free from gluten, dairy, and soy. By tailoring your choice of pre workout vegan protein powder to your needs, you’ll maximize your workout results.

Improving Athletic Performance with Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

Pre workout vegan protein powder is an excellent choice for athletes aiming to boost their performance. It contains high-quality, plant-based proteins that provide sustained energy during intense workouts. The inclusion of essential amino acids helps in muscle repair, while added ingredients like BCAAs (branched-chain amino acids) support endurance and reduce muscle fatigue. Some powders even include natural stimulants like green tea extract or caffeine to enhance focus and energy levels. Whether you’re training for a marathon or lifting heavy weights, pre workout vegan protein powder can provide the fuel you need to perform at your best.

Conclusion

Pre workout vegan protein powder is an exceptional choice for both vegans and non-vegans who seek clean, plant-based nutrition to fuel their fitness goals. Whether you’re an endurance athlete, strength trainer, or simply looking for a healthy way to boost energy levels and muscle recovery, this protein powder offers numerous benefits. Packed with high-quality plant-based proteins, essential amino acids, and often enhanced with natural ingredients like BCAAs or antioxidants, it supports overall performance and well-being. Additionally, the eco-friendly and allergen-free nature of pre workout vegan protein powder makes it an excellent choice for those seeking sustainability and inclusivity in their nutrition. By incorporating this supplement into your routine, you can take your workouts to the next level while aligning with your health and ethical values.

[militantis]

Boost Your Performance with Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

When it comes to fitness, protein is key to building and maintaining muscle mass, but not all sources are created equal. Pre workout vegan protein powder delivers high-quality protein from plant-based sources that are rich in essential nutrients, providing your body with what it needs before an intense workout. Each serving typically contains 15-25 grams of protein, plus added superfoods, antioxidants, and digestive enzymes to further enhance your training results. What sets pre workout vegan protein powder apart from other supplements is its clean ingredient profile. Many formulas are free from common allergens like soy, gluten, and artificial additives. This makes it a go-to option for people with dietary restrictions or those looking to avoid unnecessary chemicals. Plus, the blend of plant-based proteins offers a slower release of energy, ensuring sustained performance throughout your workout. With pre workout vegan protein powder, you can train harder, recover faster, and feel great knowing you’re making a positive choice for your health and the environment.

The Importance of Amino Acids in Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

Amino acids are the building blocks of protein, and they play a crucial role in muscle growth and repair. Pre workout vegan protein powder is specifically designed to provide all the essential amino acids your body needs to perform at its best. Plant-based protein sources like pea and hemp protein contain a complete profile of amino acids, including the nine essential ones that your body cannot produce on its own.

Superfoods in Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder for Enhanced Nutrition

Many pre workout vegan protein powders go beyond just providing protein they also include a variety of superfoods to boost your overall nutrition. Ingredients like chia seeds, spirulina, and maca powder are commonly added to vegan protein powders for their health benefits. Chia seeds are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, fiber, and antioxidants, which help reduce inflammation and support heart health.

Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder: A Cleaner Alternative

If you’re looking for a cleaner, more natural alternative to traditional protein supplements, pre workout vegan protein powder is the way to go. Many vegan protein powders are free from artificial sweeteners, preservatives, and chemicals that are commonly found in whey-based products. Instead, they rely on natural flavors and ingredients, making them a healthier choice for those who prioritize clean eating.

How Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder Supports Lean Muscle Growth?

Building lean muscle requires the right balance of protein and nutrients, and pre workout vegan protein powder delivers just that. Plant-based proteins like pea, hemp, and rice protein provide all the essential amino acids your body needs to support muscle growth and recovery. These proteins are easily digestible and gentle on the stomach, making them ideal for those who want to build muscle without experiencing digestive discomfort.

Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder for Enhanced Endurance

If you’re an endurance athlete or someone who enjoys long workouts, pre workout vegan protein powder can be a game-changer. The slow-digesting proteins found in vegan powders, such as pea and hemp protein, provide a steady release of energy, helping you sustain your performance for longer periods. This is especially beneficial for runners, cyclists, and other endurance athletes who need consistent energy throughout their workouts.

Eco-Friendly Benefits of Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder

Choosing pre workout vegan protein powder isn’t just good for your body it’s also good for the planet. Plant-based protein powders require fewer resources to produce than animal-based products, making them a more sustainable option. The production of plant-based proteins like pea and hemp protein has a lower environmental impact, using less water, land, and energy compared to the production of whey or casein protein.

How Pre Workout Vegan Protein Powder Supports Vegan Diets?

For those following a vegan diet, getting enough protein can sometimes be a challenge. However, pre workout vegan protein powder makes it easy to meet your protein needs without compromising your dietary choices. Vegan protein powders are made from plant-based sources like pea, hemp, and rice protein, which are rich in essential amino acids and nutrients. These plant-based proteins provide all the building blocks your body needs to support muscle growth, recovery, and overall performance.

Conclusion

Pre workout vegan protein powder is more than just a fitness supplement it’s a step toward a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle. By opting for plant-based proteins, you’re not only supporting your body’s muscle growth and recovery but also reducing your environmental footprint. With added benefits like high fiber content, essential nutrients, and eco-friendly packaging, vegan protein powders offer a holistic approach to fitness. Elevate your workouts while contributing to a greener planet by making the switch to pre workout vegan protein powder today.

[blubushie]

can u explain everything in ur dni list and y u have it as dni? i think itd be funny

Yeah, sure. I think it'd be funny too.

Having to cut this in half cuz it's long.

Are vegan (vegetarians are fine). -> I can't stand vegans. Oh my god, can I not stand vegans. Every vegan I've met has been an insufferable idiot who doesn't understand that going on an all-plant diet is still destroying ecosystems. Growing their crops requires space, this space results in deforestation, the widespread use of pesticides and poisons kills billions of animals every year and results in that poison being passed down the food chain, killing animals that aren't the initial target of the poison. Vegans act like hunting is luxury while not acknowledging native land rights, while not acknowledging that for many people hunting is the only way for them to survive multiple months through the year, vegans consider themselves holier-than-thou and are sure to remind you of this. Too many vegans deny basic biology of human being omnivores--this is why we have canine teeth, pointed molars, and incisors in the shape we do--or they make the argument that despite being omnivores, there is no reason to eat meat as we live in the "modern world" and therefore supplemental vitamins are readily available. This is ignoring how expensive these supplements are, and how unavailable they are to many people. Also M*lbourne vegans chucked red paint on my car and I still find flakes sometimes between the slats. Cost me almost $200 to have it powerwashed off and to pay for a new advertisement sticker.

Are a cyclist (bikies, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Cyclists can't stay in their fucking bike path and keep riding in the street. What's the fucking path for if you're not gonna use it? Bikies are on thin ice because they're like cyclists but Cooler.

Don't like flanno -> All I wear is flanno

Are scared of snakes -> I love snakes and, as pest control, I'm tired of explaining to people that you're more likely to be bitten by a snake while trying to move/kill it and that you should just leave snakes be.

Are scared of bugs -> I love bugs

Unironically say "NAURRR" (Aussies are exempt) -> As an Aussie it's just... really fucking annoying. Get better jokes. This one's overused.

Drive a manual (I'm jealous of you) -> I cannot drive a manual because I always second-guess myself when I shift gears and then shift to the wrong gear or accidentally ride the clutch.

Scream when you're afraid or startled -> I don't do this normally except when I'm on the horn with someone and do it as a heads-up that I'm muting myself to talk to whoever's interrupted me. Also this'll kill you in a survival situation.

Don't take your shoes off indoors (WTF is wrong with you?) -> It's gross and rude.

Have never loved the stars too fondly -> I love astronomy.

Claim your favourite flower is roses -> Cliché.

Like the colour pink -> People always think this is a misogyny thing but no, it's a trauma thing. Additionally in the Australian mental facility I was in as a kid, my room was painted a soft pink and so now I just hate this colour as a whole.

Don't wear a watch -> I always wear a watch. It's dependable when your phone dies.

Don't like vegemite (WTF is wrong with you? x2) -> I'm an Aussie.

If you DO like vegemite, DNI if you eat it at level 6 or anything below 3 -> I'm an Aussie.

Eat vegemite plain off the spoon (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? x3) -> I'm an Aussie.

Call all cattle "cows" -> I'm also a stockman and this is annoying. Cows are female cattle who've had calves, bulls are unneutered male cattle, heifers are female cattle who haven't had a calf yet, steers are neutered young male cattle, bullocks are neutered adult male cattle.

Use chapstick (let your lips split like a real man) -> I don't use chaptsick and eventually my lips stopped chapping.

Weren't sacrificed on the altar of Victoria Bitter -> Aussie and bogan.

You drink Foster's -> Aussie and no one here drinks fucking Foster's.

Call thongs "flip-flops" (wrong) or "jandals" (inhuman) -> THEY'RE THONGS.

Are a ranga -> Rangas are redheads. Gingers are ok. Rangas don't have souls.

Wear neon colours (hunting orange is fine, safety green is only permissible for tradies) -> Eyestrain. Also people who wear neon make me nervous as someone who hates attention being drawn to myself in public.

Like wearing shoes -> I hate shoes.

Wear socks and ESPECIALLY if you sleep with socks on -> But I hate socks more! Autism no like.

Like maths (you're an alien) -> I am very bad at maths. I know enough to be a sniper but even then I usually use a calculator and/or my Kestrel app.

Wash your face every morning -> Exfoliate with sand like I do.

Don't know how to change a tyre -> Everyone should know how to change a tyre because you never know if you're going to need it. You might need it, someone else might need it, etc. It might save your life some day. Life skill.

Think heat above 80F/25C is "unbearable" -> I'm an Aussie, suck it up.

Have never ridden a horse -> I pity you.

Don't know the difference between revolvers and pistols -> It's annoying.

Have, at any point, unironically uttered the phrase "assault rifle" -> You don't know anything about firearms and don't have a leg to be standing on in conversation regarding them.

Are from M*lbourne (Victorians, you're on thin fucking ice) -> See the "vegans" thing. Also M*lburnians are largely up themselves and the whole city suffers from Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're not better than anyone, cunts.

Are from New Zealand -> Basically M*lbourne but a whole country. I'll admit a lot of my "hatred" is just for show, though. You're our dickhead little brother and we hate you and also love you. Nobody fucks with the Kiwis but us <3

Are French/speak French (Africans, you're on thin fucking ice) -> Bad experiences in regards to the language, but as far as nationality goes, see "pompousness."

Are Canadian -> Bad experiences with Canadians.

Are French-Canadian (double-wrong) -> Very bad experience with a pompous French-Canadian.

Are English. The rest of the UK, you're on thin ice. -> Pommy cunts. You're not my dad!

Are from a city with a population higher than 1mil. People from cities with populations of 30k to 999k are on thin fucking ice. People from cities/town/shires/villages with less than 30k I love you. -> I grew up bush in a town with a population of like. 5. And now there's zero.

Think "bogan" is an insult -> It's not.

Don't shave with a knife (people who use straight razors, you're on thin fucking ice, people who don't shave at all I love you) -> I shave with a knife in the bush and straight razor when I'm around people (because getting caught shaving with a knife is a good way to have your girlfriend yell at you for being stupid).

Have never been sunburnt (only for people who can get sunburnt) -> Get skin cancer like a real man (like I have).

Don't like camping -> I love camping.

Own decorative towels and ESPECIALLY if you get mad at people for using them. It's a bloody towel and I'm using it for its intended purpose -> This has happened to me too much and I get pissed every time. Why do you have it if you're not supposed to use it? How am I supposed to know it's not meant to be used?

Believe in astrology -> I don't trust people who judge others off their fucking star sign instead of their actions.

Have a skincare routine and/or wear makeup -> I don't like people who are vain. Life's so short, who cares about your appearance, go out there and enjoy life.

Drive a Toyota Prius -> You're probably a shitty and/or obnoxious driver, you either speed or drive too fucking slow, never use your indicators when changing lane, or cut people off.

DON'T love thunderstorms -> I love thunderstorms.

Were born after 2023 -> You do the maths.

Think catching toads to get high is "animal abuse" (the toads are fine unless they're cane toads, fuck cane toads, all my mates hate cane toads) -> It's not. The toads are fine (again, unless they're cane toads, which I kill because they're invasive species).

You microwave water for any reason -> Jostling microwaved water causes cavitation bubbles to burst, which can make the water itself spray you. This results in boiling water drenching your arms and probably face. This is how you get severe burns. Stop doing it.

Have never been to a B&S ball -> They're fun and I pity you.

Don't believe in aliens -> I refuse to believe we're alone out here.

Are taller than 158cm/5'2" -> Fuck you for being taller than me!

Take multivitamins (aka you are healthier than me) -> Fuck you for being healthier than me!

Haven't read my fic (minors exempt, do not read it) -> Please read it if you're an adult, I put my heart and soul into this shit...

Don't like bush ballads or sea shanties. I'm going to show up at your house and aggressively sing Waltzing Matilda at 3am outside your bedroom window -> I like sea shanties. And the sea.

Think the term "blackfella" is racist -> It's not, it's the preferred term for black (native) Australians.

Would give me up, tell a lie, and hurt me -> Get Rickroll'd.

Don't bless the rains down in Africa -> Get Tito'd.

You shave your eyebrows -> No eyebrows makes me nervous since I kinda depend on them for reading faces (autism)