#vasectomy details

[jakeperalta]

is emily Henry’s people we meet on vacation called you and me on vacation in the uk??? 😮

yes! I have no idea why, surely if they were trying to make it more uk-friendly they'd change the word vacation? maybe they wanted to be sure people knew it wasn't just about a holiday romance??

her publishers clearly think uk and usa audiences want very different things though. there's the different title and all the different covers obviously, plus in the uk edition alex doesn't have a vasectomy whereas in the usa edition he does?? (this shocked me to learn lol). also beach read has a different ending here. wild!

[astonmartinii]

fatherhood looks good on you | george russell social media au

pairing: george russell x fem albon reader

there comes a point in the relationship where you take it to the next level

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 783,409 others

tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: looking so good i want to give you a baby

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user1: WHAT

user2: we really be saying anything on the internet these days

alexalbon: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE LITERAL ONLY RULE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THAT YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELVES

yourusername: gosh a girl can't have baby fever in peace these days

alexalbon: unless that baby is coming by stork you can put that talk on hold real fast

yourusername: just because lily is busy does not mean you have to take it out on me and george

georgerussell63: alex is it illegal for a man to be handsome?

alexalbon: if it's illegal to be handsome, you'd have the cleanest record known to man

yourusername: STOP RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT LYING IS A SIN

alexalbon: i'm not going to say YOUR boyfriend is hot, no.

yourusername: just because i got in there first 🙄

user3: i don't think she's serious but also george with a baby is just too cute not to happen

user4: george is the perf instagram boyf like he's so ready to pose

landonorris: well that definitely is something we all want to know

yourusername: i know you would LOVE to know ALL the details norris

georgerussell63: she's never going to let your crush go lando, you gotta just hold it

landonorris: i was THIRTEEN

yourusername: you don't love me anymore? 😕

landonorris: i don't know why i always get in these arguments with you

user5: i love how george just instigates things for y/n lmao

user6: your boyfriend should always support your mess

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georgerussell63

liked by lewishamilton, alexalbon and 1,209,458 others

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georgerussell63: fatherhood is a different beast

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user8: alright i am so confused

user9: there's no way y/n can actually be pregnant i saw her down at least three pornstar martinis in hospitality this weekend

alexalbon: this better be a joke or i'm gonna kick you so hard you get a free non-reversible vasectomy

yourusername: stop the violence!

alexalbon: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GLEE REFERENCES

yourusername: someone is channelling some serious sue vibes right now

georgerussell63: let it be known i like my reproductive systems the way they are

alexalbon: that's kind of the point of a threat, you aren't supposed to want it

yourusername: he likes threats if they come from the right person

alexalbon: i am about one more comment away from knocking down your hotel room door and throwing george from the balcony

yourusername: and deprive our child from a father... alex i expected better from you

alexalbon: that's it i'm on my way

georgerussell63: @mercedesamgf1 PLEASE PROTECT ME I AM PRECIOUS CARGO

user10: these bitches got me actually combing through tiktoks and hospitality menus to see if y/n was actually drinking

user11: i'm gonna be real angry if this is all a big joke

user12: i know kimi antonelli is young but this is NAWT the way to announce him for 2025

charles_leclerc: guys i need you to spell everything out i am confused

georgerussell63: no can do charles you gotta follow the breadcrumbs just like everyone else

yourusername: it's right there sharl

charles_leclerc: actually alex, wait, i'm coming with you these hoes are annoying me

landonorris: don't forget me

yourusername

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tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: our baby is here!

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user15: A CAT?

user16: i just knew george russell would be a ragdoll girl

georgerussell63: they were right i AM a girl dad

yourusername: finally dilf status

georgerussell63: a title i do not take lightly

yourusername: i can confirm libido has gone UP since becoming parents!

landonorris: shut THE FUCK UP

yourusername: you'll understand in time lando

georgerussell63: you just found yourself at the bottom of the babysitting list

landonorris: i don't want to look after it

yourusername: IT? IT? HOW DARE YOU?

georgerussell63: she can hear you lando that's so disrespectful :(

landonorris: ??? i'm not saying sorry to a cat over instagram comment

georgerussell63: expect the same courtesy when i take you out first corner next weekend

user17: i fear that was not a threat but a promise from george

user18: it's kinda hot

liked by yourusername

alexalbon: NEW ALBON PETS LORE AND NONE OF YOU TOLD ME

yourusername: ella can't wait to meet the gang

alexalbon: no offence but ella is kinda a shit name

yourusername: short for mozzarella

alexalbon: i take it back

georgerussell63: cause she's the lil pearl of our life

alexalbon: i love her already

user19: so we went through all this tomfoolery for a cat? a cat called mozzarella?

user20: you have to agree it's iconic

alexalbon

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alexalbon: i knew @albon_pets would get george at some point

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user22: i love how alex became the chill guy again after it was revealed he was not yet an uncle

georgerussell63: hard on the yet

alexalbon: too soon george

user23: the albon pets signature of approval is a bigger sign that george is in the gamily than if he actually proposed to y/n

user24: they've got a baby now he's an albon

yourusername: horsey is going to kick off over having to share george with me and mozzie

albon_pets: bring it on - horsey

yourusername: alex i'm not arguing with you pretending to be horsey, this ain't roscoe and lewis

lewishamilton: rude

roscoelovescoco: meanie

yourusername: did you just call me mean as your dog?

lewishamilton: you were extra mean

yourusername: fine lets let mozzie and roscoe scrap it out at silverstone - she's got the sass of both me and george btw x

lewishamilton: stay AWAY FROM MY DOG

user25: the merc garage gonna be a whole petting zoo at silverstone i can't

user26: you wanna catch up with red bull? sell meet and greet tickets to the petting zoo

maxverstappen1: this is my official invitation to a play date with jimmy and sassy

yourusername: WE'LL BE THERE

maxverstappen1: is mozzarella civilised?

georgerussell63: of course my child has manners?

maxverstappen1: you crash into people all the time, i had to check

georgerussell63

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georgerussell63: all of the family here for the home race

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user27: y/n wearing mozzarella in a baby harness i need to be put down

user28: that really is their child oh my

yourusername: make our baby proud georgie

georgerussell63: anything for you two xx

alexalbon: why do i never get these nice comments

yourusername: they're transmitted through our genes x

yourusername: also george more important 👍🏻

alexalbon: i'm literally your brother? your flesh and blood?

yourusername: george cuter

georgerussell63: can't argue with that

alexalbon: well of course he is this ain't alabama. (sorry logan)

logansargent: i'm from florida?

yourusername: even worse, my condolences

georgerussell63: can we get back to talking about how dashing i am?

yourusername: yes!

alexalbon: NO. SAY GOOD LUCK Y/N

yourusername: good luck y/n

alexalbon: what if i crash and you never said good luck, think about it y/n

yourusername: good luck alex (you're an asshole for weaponising the sport (and you being shit at it))

user29: i think i had about three strokes trying to follow this argument

user30: poor logan is just a victim of the albons at this point

landonorris: have a baby and forget about the rest of us, i see how it is

yourusername: you will never measure up to mozzie lando i hope you know that

georgerussell63: what y/n means is that i love my friends, but a child is a gift from god

landonorris: it's a cat. she can't even talk

yourusername: and yet she makes better points than you, makes you think

yourusername

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yourusername: fatherhood looks good on you

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user31: mozzarella is so big already 🥹

user32: maybe i'm worse than them cause i'm attached to mozzie as well

georgerussell63: no one else i'd rather be cat parents to

yourusername: you're such a romantic

georgerussll63: such a pleasure to take this next step with the love of my life

yourusername: i love you more

georgerussell63: not possible

alexalbon: you being gross about mozzie was better than what ever the fuck this is

yourusername: @lilymunhe does he not treat you right?

lilymunhe: he's a romantic really, he's just exhausting the protective big brother act until george finally proposes

alexalbon: sue me

maxverstappen1: still waiting on the play date ...

yourusername: monaco?

maxverstappen1: done

yourusername: jimmy, sassy and ella will be like the charlie's angles reincarnated

georgerussell63: can't wait for you to see her IMPECCABLE manners

maxverstappen1: okay princess george

yourusername: hey only i can call george princess

maxverstappen1: you keep that to yourself

user33: disappointed that with all the tomfoolery around mozzie that there was no maternity photoshoots

yourusername: oh do not give me a challenge...

fin.

note: NEW SERIES ALERT? i'll create a masterlist after i post this. i hope you enjoyed, this one is more of a tame brother's best friend take but dw they can get more beefy and more sassy - send me any pairings you might like to see! thanks for reading x

[the-whispers-of-death]

(nonbinary) reader with tokophobia x Simon "Ghost" Riley?

I've never seen any fics where reader has tokophobia, and I have been getting FAR too many pregnant!reader fics on my dash to be comfortable😭😭

don't need to write anything abt this if you dont want to, by the way! :)

It's fine, I just hope I write this as best as I can to properly represent tokophobia! Gender neutral Reader who has a uterus, coming right up!

For as long as you could remember, you felt sick at the thought of childbirth and being pregnant. There were people around you who didn't want kids, but they didn't have the same fear about childbirth as you did. You knew how risky pregnancy could be, how there were so many ways things could go wrong. And it all terrified you, every single detail about childbirth.

So whenever you were asked about kids and pregnancy, you said you never wanted kids. And the response you got were people telling you that you'd change your mind or, and this was the real kicker, that your partner was going to want kids—expect kids from you.

As the years went by, your dating pool was limited. You only dated guys who didn't want kids, but the thing was that some of those good guys eventually talked about the possibility of having kids. So you came to a period of your life where you cut off dating completely, your previous experiences suggesting that every guy who said they never wanted kids would eventually want kids.

Until you met Simon.

Simon at first scared you, not because he seemed unapproachable, but because he was a military man. Military men weren't known for not wanting kids. Even if they weren't planning on having kids, they ended up doing so because they were more likely to be risky with sex and using protection. So you were afraid he'd want kids or would accidentally knock you up.

Still, you let him take you out on dates and you soon found yourself falling in love with him. You two had sex, always with a condom, and you always took the morning pill. You weren't taking any chances.

One day, Simon asked you why you were so hell-bent on not having kids. He wasn't judging, he was just curious. And it was his gentleness about the subject, the way he was just so genuinely curious, that it made you pour your heart out and talk to him about your fear of childbirth and pregnancy.

After you did so, Simon frowned and you were worried he was going to brush off your fear or worse, try and convince you to bear his child. Instead, he told you to he was going to get a vasectomy, just so there was another extra layer of precaution in case your plan b pills didn't work and/or the condom broke.

You thought he was just saying it to make you feel better but lo and behold, the next day, he came back after having a vasectomy. And he didn't even try and tell you that you should stop taking the plan b pills or that you two should do it without the condoms, no, this was purely just another way to ease your mind.

Because he didn't want kids, definitely not, and he much preferred helping your fears be at ease.

[zosa95]

Gemma had been to the loo three times tonight. If this kept up, she’d be wearing diapers by the time she gave birth. She rubbed her belly, trying to soothe her rowdy child.

Gemma: Settle down, little man. You’re confusing Mum’s bladder for a football.

Mak: Nah, he’ll never make the team.

Beatrice: You are so wrong!

Mak: Money where your mouth is!

Everyone laughed, and Jude rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Daisy: When are you due, Gemma?

Gemma: February. I still have all the holidays to get through.

Mak: (teasing) If you get snowed in, Jude can deliver the baby in his barn.

Gemma shot Jude a “you said something” look. Jude’s eyes widened, and he shook his head slightly. Mak caught the exchange.

Mak: Oh-ho. What am I missing here?

Jude gave Mak a “fuck off” look.

Jude: Nothing.

Mak had a nose for sniffing out amusement and the tenacity of a bull terrier.

Mak: (gleefully) Oh, I disagree. And you look flustered. You never look flustered.

The entire group was now listening to the exchange attentively.

Jude threw up his hands and looked at Gemma.

Jude: He’s like a dog with a bone. Go ahead and tell him.

Gemma: Excuse me? Sybil is your daughter. Why do I have to tell him?

Mak clapped his hands and cackled.

Mak: If it came out of Sybil’s mouth, it’s gold. Gods, I love that kid.

Jude: (grumbling) You just wait until Greta gets older.

Mak: She’s too demure like Eva to embarrass me. Alright, Gemma, tell me, or I’ll start guessing. And each guess will be more embarrassing than the last.

Gemma: You’re a complete asshat, Mak.

Mak: I know. So, tell me.

Gemma buried her face in her hands before facing Mak. She deliberately avoided looking at anyone else.

Gemma: (rapidly) The other week, at the park, Greta and I ran into Jude and the kids. Sybil asked when I was due and if I knew how babies came out. She then suggested how Jude might assist delivery with specific lambing details. Details that I will not repeat. And if you try to guess, you won’t need a vasectomy because I will hurt you so bad.

Mak laughed until he was gasping, and tears streamed down his face. Gemma looked at Jude and scrunched up her face playfully. Jude shrugged and grinned. Both Beatrice and Markus noticed the silent communication between Jude and Gemma. Coincidentally, they were the only two of the group - besides Gemma and Jude - not howling with laughter.

[succcession]

Maybe you could do a Connor Roy Smut Headcanon??💗 Really been living your work

Currently rewatching and I forgot how much of a genuinely sweetheart he is!

Sweet Connor who is always buying you insanely expensive gifts imported from all over the world but hidden in each item would be a page long handwritten love letter explaining every detail of why he chose it for you.

Despite claiming to be an old fashion type of guy, I think he would loveeee sexting! Send him a random picture of your ass, and you would get a 2 min long voice message back from him describing how hard you make him and how lucky he feels.

His lap is actually the comfiest place to sit.

Wants you to sit in his lap while he sucks and teases your nipples and you play with his hair.

Innocently sitting on his hips right below his lil squishy tummy as you two chat about your day. But would quickly becoming your grinding on him as he squeezes your hips pulling your tighter to him

I believe with my whole heart he is amazing at foreplay. He spent year fucking girls just for his own pleasure, now he really likes to take his time. Covering your face and neck with kisses before he was even trying to get your shirt off. 

This would occasionally lead to him almost ruining the moment. You would be begging him to put it in already, and he would dramatically  respond something like “I have to take my time…i don't know how much i have left”

Really Really likes lingerie! Especially if it's super feminine, anything with lots of lace, flowers, and pink

Always coming home to some lacy set placed on the bed with a little card :,)

Please give this man some praise. Tell him how good he feels inside of you, how nobody can fuck you like him, and as basic as it is, pleaseee tell him he's the best you've ever had. He won’t be able to stop blushing and will hide his face in your neck but you can tell how much he loves it as he starts pounding you harder.

Gentle loving sex 70% of the time

Intense passionate pounding the rest

I think he would probably want you on top a lot. Of course he has no problem being on top but loves watching you ride him as you use his cock to make yourself cum, his large hands squeezing your ass helping to guide you up and down 

Also loves doggystyle!

Wouldn't get rough with you too often but when he did, he was usually taking you from behind one hand pulling your hair as the other wraps around your neck. Not squeezing just using it as leverage to fuck into you harder

Shutting him up from conspiracy theory rambling by unzipping his pants and pulling his dick out

Would get a vasectomy just to cum in you as much as he wants

I don’t think he would be a big fan of degradation, calling you his little slut would make him feel “like your pimp” he would state

Aftercare would sometimes be you holding him in your arms reassuring him how much you love him and how happy he makes you as you lightly scratch you back with your nails. He just gets so worried that he doesn’t truly please you so your soothing voice reminding him would almost make him cry T_T ugh he's so cute

[no-stupid-questions-official]

🍆🍒✂️

I'm getting a vasectomy in a few months, and I need to talk to my work about it because I'll need a week off for the surgery and recovery. For context, I'm under 30 with no kids. I'm not embarassed, but I don't want to talk about it at work so I'm not sure what to tell them. I'll have to tell them it's for a medical procedure because of how much time I need off for it. Of course, I don't have to give any details besides just that it's medical. However, we are very much a "work family" 🙄 so someone will ask and I worry keeping it vague will make it seem more serious and invite more questions. Any advice on what I could tell my work? Like what's a good surgery to lie to them about?

-

[icystorm76]

Lauren’s comments on Ep 4

My sister has now watched Ep 4, and again I wrote down what she had to say. She has never read the books and has no idea about basically everything. Anything in parentheses is my comment on her comment.

Her reaction to Ep 3: https://www.tumblr.com/icystorm76/753858454799761408/laurens-commentary-im-forcing-my-sister-to-watch

“The title of this is “I want you more than anything in the world”, which GREATLY concerns me”

Claudia’s performance

“Wow, she in the show”

“Ok this is kinda creepy”

“Yes, slay Claudia”

“Claudia must hate this. It’s like her biggest pet peeve, being treated like a child”

“His face!!!”

“Ok, that ghost thing is kind of cool”

“Ok, that is abuse again”

“So what happens if Claudia falls in love with another vampire who was turned as an adult”

“I want someone to edit that scene with “it’s a small world” but it’s just Claudia on stage”

Coven meeting after performance

“Anne rice you kinky little bastard”

“It’s funny because she doesn’t like windows when they close but I don’t like Louis boyfriends when they abuse”

“He’s kinda daddy with those muscles”

“Abuser. Victim”

“Understand his commitment issues. Please.”

Louis and Armand

“Wow, eww, keep that gay stuff to yourself. Yes. Thank you. One time I’m with you Lestat.”

Dubai

“He has sad eyes. Daniel does. He looks like the restaurant guy from ratatouille”

*Extreme sarcasm* “Thank you Louis, that cleared it up”

“I feel like his face would be fun to sculpt”

“What? Fire at the theater?!”

“PTSD awareness too. That’s crazy”

Claudia and Santi’s convo in the wet room

“That moment when trying to be a cottage core bitch comes back to bite you”

“Awwww, they’re going to be friends!”(NONONONONO CLAUDIA AND SANTI ARE NOT GOING TO BE FRIENDS)

“Daddy vamp?!?!? I’m using that”

“Marketing campaign, she lays on the ground like she’s fucking dead”

“When are they going to notice she doesn’t age”

Dinner with the coven

“I love how they’re like “we need to get far away from Lestat, who has a French accent. Let’s go to France!””

“Awww, she’s smiling!”

“Du ponte du lac, say his full name”

“Theoretically, if him and Lestat got married he would be Louis Du Ponte Du lac De Lioncourt”

“You know what I need? Lestat drawn by the same person who did Miku binder Thomas Jefferson”

“Why don’t vampires have Orgys?”

“Don’t put all my sexual comments in here. People are going to think I’m oversexual, tell them in not oversexual!”

“That’s kinda gay”

Les+Lou and Claudia+Madeline

“This feels like a scene from a marvel movie, the way it’s shot”

“Is he a goat?! Hello?”

“Oh God, I knew he was going to say that. I knew he was going to say that. You vain bitch”

“Yeah, I think we learned from your last family that thats not always good.”

Art gallery

“Wow, that is doing to much.”

“Look at how bored Lestat looks”

“I love how it’s been years and years and none of the vampires are over their exs”

“I feel like I’m in therapy”

Louis and Claudia’s arguing and Lestats goodbye

“She keeps repeating things. It’s like in books when they do that Oh. Oh. OH. Thing. It was nice the first time but after that it felt like she was looking for things to say.”

“I like the detail that he’s not getting wet because he’s not really there”

“Yo butt gonna get wet. People gon think you peed yourself”

“Oh my god he’s imagining Lestat with emotions”

“Oh my god the snap just happened”

“Ok. Idea. Daniel fucked Santiago.” (She is really stuck on the idea of Daniel fucking a vampire, she just keeps choosing the Wrong one)

“Is the dark gift really just a vasectomy?”

“There it is!”

“I am… so confused. What just happened?”

[dumb-doll-lips]

How was the date?

It was a lot of fun. I’m sore from rough sex (mostly shoulders from being pinned down and a couple ouchy bites) and a little hung over.

Not feeling that up for sharing more details as w the us right now tbinking about what if my birth control fails is a lot more terrifying. Being afraid of getting pregnant at a bad time was enough of worry. But now it feels like it could be literally be life threatening if there were complications. I’m now very pro guys w a vasectomy.

[architect-2015]

Can i request a Roman Reigns imagine where the reader is like Heyman’s daughter, and a very respected and powerful figure in WWE. Roman and her have their own reality show basically detailing their marriage and life as superstars. They have 2 sets of triplets together and she’s like that’s it, but then they have a surprise baby which is journalised through the show. R is like if it’s triplets imma kill you, and it’s like twins or quads and Roman is like at least it’s not triplets lol. The imagine showcases that and her wanting him to get a vasectomy, and her pregnancy journey and backstage intense and cute moments. Thank you!!!! ❤️ I know it’s long lol

OMG i absolutely love this idea, i’m literally gonna start drafting some paragraphs for it now. It should be posted at some point this weekend because it will be on the longer side.

[drabbleitout]

OC In Fifteen

Tagged by @kaiusvnoir in this really neat game I haven't seen. Thank's my dude! Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Doing this for Garnet

"A meeting? With computers? Talk about could have been an email."

2. "Yeah, up yours, buddy. I am king of the Pittsburgh left!"

3. "So, what's the story on the HUD vasectomy?"

4. "Hey, how good's your insurance?"

5. "You got, uh, you uh, you got a girlfriend? You got a boyfriend? You gotta they/them? Do they know how to fight –answer quickly. Asking for a friend."

6. "Lieutenant's line –you like it rough, I've got the cuffs."

7. “You’re being super brave about this, bud. I’m proud of you.”

8. "I don't even know what you're trying to say, but it sounds like your breath stinks really bad."

9. “Oh, yeah! I agree with you. In fact, that’s why they don't usually call me out to these kinda things. Because I’ve got really shitty diplomatic skills. But see, that’s Officer Beau's job, and he does it exceptionally well. But we gotta problem when someone disrespects him and doesn’t let him do his job. Because then I gotta come out here and –believe me– no one wants that."

10. "Coño!"

11.  "Let's get it, Shitbox. Either way, give'em hell."

12. "I made a choice to go out there. My whole job is to make a difference. And I didn't make shit of a difference! Okay?!"

13. "Ooh, they always say that when they're guilty,"

14. “What an Orient Express clusterfuck.”

15. "What? I'm not gonna lie about it. I didn't hit him though. I never hit him. I threw him around a bit, but I didn't hit him –And I wanted to."

tagging: @sleepy-night-child, @ashen-crest, @abalonetea, @artdecosupernova-writing, @pertinax--loculos, @ratracechronicler, @concealeddarkness13 and anyone else who woud like to join. As always, please don't feel pressured or rushed!

[missbaphomet]

got any hot takes or interesting perspectives about the Human Pet Guy (more specifically his actual fantasy)?

My hot take is that as long as all parties are consenting insofar as various amputations go (or such other 'surgical modifications' as mentioned in the original post) then fuck dude not really my place to say he can't do it. There are extremists in everything, and kink is no different. While I personally am not willing to permanently disable myself for fetish purposes, there are likely thousands of others who are or already have.

If a grown adult wants to seek out a professional for the described procedures (safe), is able to pass a psych eval (sane), and wants it to happen (consensual) then more power to them. Good luck finding a safe way of accomplishing the surgeries though.

As an aside, it fascinates me that he refers to getting a hysterectomy/vasectomy as getting spayed or neutered.

Full disclosure, I'm into pet play and exhibition (among other things), but some of the more elaborate details are absolutely hard limit territory. Kink is not one-size-fits-all, and sometimes it pays to shrug and throw your kink tomato at it.

My main concerns with the scenario listed in the infamous human pet post is the long term joint health of the submissive, as well as the implication of snipping the vocal chords of the submissive. Humans are bipedal and are not meant to walk on all fours for extended periods, which is why recommended safety equipment for such play includes knee pads, soft flooring, and breaks as needed. Furthermore, with cut vocal chords, the submissive can no longer communicate if something is wrong or if they ever need to safe word. In a 24/7 TPE as described, communication is not only non-negotiable (as it is such in all relationships, even vanilla ones) but even more important than ever. With amputated fingers and cut vocal chords, you have removed all possible routes of communication and that is inherently unsafe. If that is something that both parties want to explore, there should only ever be one or the other.

That being said, this specific cocktail of a scenario will narrow the pool so severely I would be amazed if all eligible candidates (IE wants and consents to all aspects of the scenario without alteration) could fill a standard classroom. As purely a hypothetical, it is absolutely something that you would have to have layers upon layers of redundancy to ensure the safety of all involved at all times, but assuming those hurdles are accounted for, YKINMKATO. In a purely realistic sense, it will literally never happen in any conceivable way without SERIOUS modification to the scenario that fundamentally make it something else. Simply the cosmetic amputations are questionable enough that no surgeon worth his scalpel will touch it. If they did, you should run away very quickly.

[katareyoudrilling]

Hi Kat,

I know you love a good spy novel - would you ever write a spy inspired fic?

Also - Who do you think out of the P boys would make the best old school spy? And the worst?

(Let’s not count Jack because he had the obvious advantage of being an actual spy)

Much love,

Al 🖤

Hi Al! What an interesting question. I do enjoy a good spy novel, though the true stories are sometimes even better!

I don’t think I could write a spy inspired fic. It would be absolutely incredible to be able to do that. I am so impressed by writers who can weave those types of stories. Sadly, I spent six months trying to figure out a crime that could be solved by finding out about a vasectomy and couldn’t figure it out lololol

I think if I ever dipped into the spy genre, it would be on the periphery where the actual spying is not important to the story.

As for Pedro boys as spies…. I think a lot of them have the skills. Javier Peña, Dave York, Frankie Morales, and Marcus Pike all coke to mind with their military or law enforcement training. But I’m not going to go for an obvious choice…

I think Dieter would be the best old school spy!

In reading about spies in WW2, it was often wealthy socialites who were recruited and very successful at spying. They didn’t seem like serious people so they weren’t taken seriously and as a result, they found out a lot of information. I think Dieter might be a lot smarter that how he appears to us and would flit his way through a dangerous situation, taking in all the details, but not giving the appearance of it. Wouldn’t that be a fun story???

As for the worst spy… Javi G. Everything that man is thinking shows on his face lol He is tougher and braver than he seems at first glance, but I still wouldn’t want to risk it lol

Thanks for asking!

[fortune-maiden]

I love your three tumors drabbles, ling wen going from ignoring being sick to initiating a group body burial session was great, love your mind! And you're right, we all know that woman is running herself into the ground to make herself irreplaceable without ever feeling like she's achieved it.

If you're not sick of them yet, 45 or 48 for my favorite horrible trio? Whichever inspires you more

Thank you so much!! >.< I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed my drabbles :D

I could never get sick of these clowns haha :D

I hope you enjoy these!

45. (modern au)

“What do I do?” Pei Ming repeated yet again, as he paced through the apartment. “She’s trying to trap me! How could the condom have a hole? My condoms never have holes! You know how careful I am!” They knew. Pei Ming hid condoms like a grandparent stashing money under the mattress. Ling Wen and Shi Wudu ate breakfast, passing the coffeepot and scrolling through headlines, trying to focus. When Pei Ming’s pacing brought him close again, another whine of “what do I do?” had Shi Wudu grab his belt. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.” Ling Wen nodded furiously.

48. (different modern au)

For some, learning that two members of a friendship trio went out on a date would fill the third with dread, but Pei Ming, self-proclaimed god of love was delighted. Right up until he heard the details. “So after dinner, you… went home?” he asked in disbelief. Shi Wudu nodded. “No stroll along the shore? The park? Anywhere? Did you at least walk her to her door?” “She lives in the safest neighborhood in the city.” Pei Ming’s head met the table. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…” (Ling Wen’s account of the night wasn’t any better.)

[teecupangel]

This is gonna be long, honey soooo… buckle up.

We have Desmond linked to the God of Wine, Dionysus / Bacchus with this fic (show some love and kudos this please, I adore this concept).

However, what if Desmond by chance ( Isu bullshit)  that he absorbed when he touched the Eye as he time travels back In the Renaissance before the Auditore family execution event, it manifested in him having demi-god traits but with two Gods I have in mind.

1. Aphrodite or Venus, goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation. Accidentally becoming a matchmaker for people like Des incidentally shoved a man by mistake who the man then bumped into a woman, BOOM! the two madly fell in love at first sight and married with children or his charm increases, making people fall in love with Desmond. This adds angst if Desmond discovered this power,  He has low self-esteem and is severely traumatized (fuck you William for that). He would believe they really don’t love him especially the assassins and it’s just a illusion they do. Actually they do, the power only boosted his charisma but Desmond doesn’t know this shhhhh.

2. Eros or Cupid, god of carnal love. 16 year old Desmond with his newfound freedom after running away from the Farm. It’s no surprise he could be a sexually liberated man especially he’s a hot bartender to hook up in the back alley of Bad Weather. He might dabbled in BDSM, he’s a switch, but preferably doms. He also got a vasectomy to avoid impregnating a woman no Elijah in thishe believes that he shouldn’t have children, after having narcissistic father and possibly an emotionally neglectful mother can do that. An ability to sense lust or desires of a person in eagle vision could be possible.

With that being explained, regardless of which God, these abilities have pros & cons. Desmond when he is in the Renaissance, he’ll be low-key but he can’t stand out and without the currency to have a peaceful life, we needs a job. By some gift of the universe or it hates him. He ended up as a bodyguard of Rosa in Fiore by saving some courtesans from aggressive drunken men while in his clothes devolved in rags by the heat of the Eye when arrived, making him look like a beggar, good thing it was night time so his face wasn’t seen by the girls.

Its been weeks doing this job, Desmond have saved plenty coins but not enough to buy land far away and live his life maybe as a farmer or open a tavern. Lately, he been feeling unwell, no matter he drank to quench his thirst, his throat is dry as if he been in dessert with no water survive and started having hot flashes. It could just because of the clothes he donned, not a single silver lining of his skin is shown except the upper part of his face and hair but he was assumed it was if it were the fact he started having wet dreams, from memory of his many hook ups in New York or some constructed with people with no faces. He gets aroused, yes, but he has self-restraint but he also frustrated and losing his rationale.

“Dezmund~” Bianca, a courtesan who been attempting to lure him to bed. The other courtesans entertaining the patrons who had too much wine, too busy to notice the two, giving them a sense of privacy. “Bianca” he nodded with one brow raised at her. Bianca practically started to entice him with her usual flirting to him. You know what, fuck it, he thought, he proceeded to ———————

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Yeeeaaaahhhh…i won’t be too detailed so it won’t be overbearing. So giving you the mental picture is that Desmond used his knowledge of BDSM, blindfoled and tied Bianca and used her mouth to empty his frustration while he is still completely clothed. He gave her sweet aftercare and realizing his symptoms are gone and his mind is clear and —- oh fuccccckkkkkk he unintentionally created a chain reaction after this event involving himself more to the Brotherhood, the Auditore family and Leonardo

Anyway, thanks for reading this till the end, mwah <3

======================================

Additions by teecup:

… that sounds like Desmond has the curse of an Incubus, needing to ‘unload’ his pent up energy to another person.

And you know who would be fascinated by it?

Leonardo Da Vinci.

Perhaps it was during one of the times that Leonardo went to a brothel to find ‘inspiration’. Maybe it was because he had been nursing a crush on Desmond who was unattainable to his eyes, a simple bodyguard meant to keep everyone safe.

He would see the complicated expression on his face. The frustration in his eyes.

And the flushed cheeks.

Oh, Leonardo would be smitten but he’d try to act like a friend, as any attraction he might have pales in comparison to his worries concerning Desmond’s wellbeing.

Desmond sees him and finds himself being unable to lie to Leonardo.

He needed to tell someone about his problems and he trusted Leonardo.

So Leonardo listens and…

Things start to snowball from there.

At first, it was simply Leonardo trying to help Desmond while studying his ‘affliction’.

Then it became more for the thrill and pleasure they would receive from one another.

Desmond becomes Leonardo’s muse and sometimes his model…

Maria Auditore saw Leonardo’s potential and started commissioning him…

Federico comes in to get one of the finished commissions and… finds Leonardo and Desmond in a very compromising situation.

Instead of leaving… Federico decided to join in.

And Desmond knew that Federico was hiding something but it would be a while before he realized that during this time, two years before the fated day that the Auditores would be executed, Federico was already on his way to becoming a member of the Brotherhood…

…

Also… maybe Leonardo and Desmond have an open relationship which will give us more option for Desmond to ‘partner’ up with (like maybe… La Volpe??? XD)

[idiosyncrasy-mha]

AU RULES/LORE

[AskBox is Open]

-ILL ADD TO THIS AS I THINK HAHA-

25%: Only 25% of people on the planet have quirks and they mostly are in the same areas due to social standards and the fact it’s spread through bodily fluids. If a quirk user sleeps with someone who is quirkless, their child will have a quirk and there’s a 50/50 chance the quirkless person will become sick or just grow nasty horn spots…or maybe they’re just immune? Rarely happens.

THE LIST: A public list naming all names and details about dangerous quirk users.

Quirk.com: A public website to view anyone who has a quirk or who has been in physical contact with someone who has one. Names quirk/name/Crimes/etc.

The Separation: When quirkless people started treating quirk havers like animals there was a separation between the two groups. There’s often “quirk free areas” to ensure safety and hopefully stop the spread of the disease causing quirks in the first place. It’s controversial to speak on.

Quirk Doctors: Basically anyone who works with quirk users, Doctors/Therapist/Etc. A lot of bad eggs on the quirkless side will try and get into this position to pass unfair laws for quirk users.

Bone Structure: You can tell if a baby will have a quirk because they have a different bone structure and 99% of the time they will have Fangs when born…not 100% of the time though!

STRIKES: Quirk havers are allowed three strikes of committing crimes before harsh punishment. Quirk related crimes spike it up to two points and anything under that is only one point. Anyone on The List will be sent to Tartarus (Bakugo/Mic/All Might/Etc.) and less dangerous quirk havers will be serving normal jail time (Nighteye/Aizawa/etc.)

Quirk Registration: If you have been infected by the Disease or have any quirk whatsoever you have to register so your name can be publically accessible. If you don’t it’s a 2 striker and you’ll get in deep trouble, especially if you’re eligible for The List.

Show Ponies: A degrading term used for Pro Heroes. They are seen as flashy and sell a lot of merchandise/used for pushing beliefs in a fun and goofy way. A lot of pros don’t even do hero work and it’s like The Boys where Homelander takes credit for fake scenarios.

Quirk Items: Items quickly designed for quirk havers to stay safe. Quirk beds/Gloves/Muzzles! They have em all. Hopefully the people designing these things are taking peoples feelings into consideration.

Quirk Enhancement Drugs: Causes a boost in quirk capability, but is extremely dangerous! Causes violence/Irritation/overactive quirk use/etc. and is only sold underground. Sometimes sparks quirks in non-quirk havers…but most of the time they aren’t given quirk factors and will burn to death or something. Not recommended.

John Doe: There was numerous “accidents” caused by quirk users throughout history, but you can’t blame anyone under 18 for not controlling themself properly and instead of publicly naming them for a crime, they put them under a John/Jane Doe alias to make people aware of the crime but not who did it.

AFO: The first quirk haver and notoriously hidden by media. He has ran through hundreds of cities and murdered thousands with his stockpiling quirk. He is someone to avoid…

Vasectomies: For a four year period of the American president at the time, they passed a universal law that every quirk child would be getting a vasectomy to prevent quirk birth. The law was reformed when they realized how unfair this was. Positive/Useful quirks such as Aizawa’s were excused, but anyone else who developed a quirk during these four years was denied access to having children.

[goodhickey]

i actually haven’t seen steve-o’s bucket list…. do you wanna give me reasons to watch it? :3

YES OF COURSE....

well first of all. about half of it is steveo live on stage, and I think he's a really great story teller. I'm pretty enraptured when he just sits down and starts telling a freaky ass story because he can just say the wildest shit without taking a breath

also, some of the jackass guys are in it! preston, dave, ehren, pontius, and tremaine ^_^

NO MTV MEANS NO CENSORS! we get a whole lot of steveo dick, and an up close of his nuts while he gets a vasectomy 😭😭😭 which actually wasn't as graphic as I was anticipating but was still pretty gnarly

and my favorite bit of all, that he teases at the beginning of the special but doesn't show till the end: sky jacking..... it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like - steveo jerking off to completion as he jumps out of a plane 😭 there's more details to it than that but. I will let you watch and find out....