#vanya may or may not be joking in this

[vanyafresita]

asking people if they want to go to the cinema with me is humillating, so i'll be going to see a film alone again ! my social anxiety may be strong, but my rejection sensitivity is stronger !

[rappaccini]

okay. i've already autopsied tua but a final overview may be in order. i'll do it one more time.

season one was the only good season of umbrella academy. it had issues, but those issues didn't yet compromise the story or the themes. season one had a stylized production, great cast who at that point were still playing their characters instead of themselves, strong story that mostly carried (though there was some filler), and fantastically coherent themes. the cracks in the foundation were always there. but they could have been fixed.

season two was bad, but entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had a bigger budget, glossier production value, more action, a cool new setting, more Fun Moments, enough momentum from the source material to mostly fill up the season, and the character assassination didn't have time to reach its consequences yet so everyone acting like the fandomified version of themselves worked for the people who were just here for the fun. it also dropped in the summer of 2020, when people were desperate for escapist entertainment, and there was little superhero fare to compete with (and when the protests happening that summer had people wanting to Say Something about civil rights without actually wanting to change anything). the bar was lower, and season 2 cleared it. but season 2's story broke. look back at the actual story, and you'll see it.

season three was bad, and not entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had some interesting ideas and good moments, but the whole thing was a slog. the pacing was terrible, the character assassination couldn't be denied anymore, and the momentum from the comics ran out and left the writers to their own devices, which revealed they had no plan, no substantive creative backbone, and no understanding of what they were making. season three could have saved the show with a hail mary of tight writing to pick up the slack, but quadrupled down on the problems and guaranteed it was past the point of no return.

season four was terrible. somehow with a reduced episode count it still dragged, every single character has no growth, the basic logic of the story is missing and the continuity is a mess. and ending the story about abuse victims trying to heal on them concluding that they should all just kill themselves makes the story both pointless and rotten. at this point it was a given. you can't recover from two bad seasons back to back. season two shot the show in the gut, season three let it bleed out instead of healing it, and season four kicked its corpse a few times for a couple klaus jokes, then confirmed that its very existence was a mistake. very meta.

so. what were the cracks in the foundation.

the lack of respect for the source material. as soon as they tried a plot that had no connection to the original comics, they were fucked. but even before season four, they were all over the place. in fact they still haven't adapted most of the comics. john perseus, calhoun, deever, dr terminal, the academy at war with each other in the 1960s, the actual purpose of hotel oblivion, the chimpanzees everywhere, the 1980s period setting, clarissa and oscar, the coming of the squid monster, carla the sparrow, grace having her own secret agenda, the actual character of jennifer? just not here. even the raygun gothic aesthetic is watered down and eventually barely even present.

the spinelessness of the creative team. as early as season 2, they were throwing character arcs and themes in the trash to beg the fans to love them. they had no plan and just wanted cheap thrills.

the lack of internal rules. the time travel mechanics don't make sense. viktor's powers just do whatever. lila's powers eventually just do whatever. the central reveal that vanya's medication had been repressing her powers, set up by klaus using drugs to do the same, is undone by season 2's climax revolving around vanya somehow using her powers despite being drugged. the 'marigold' reveal about their powers makes no sense (why does luther get his body back? we don't know.). there are no stakes with no clear world limitations.

the good victim bad victiming. as early as season 1, the show was arguing that harold jenkins is irredeemable for killing his abusive dad. that should've been your first warning that they were going to try to redeem reginald and have the academy basically kill themselves in the end.

the lack of continuity. as early as season 1, the writers forgot number five had a time travel briefcase sitting in the library, or that helen cho's body was in harold's house when he, allison and diego search it. then they forget when luther got disfigured in season 2. then they forgot how the powers work. then they forget literally everything about the story.

the racism. all the characters of color get the worst plotlines in season 1. allison loses her narrative in season 2 and gets it replaced with a civil rights plotline that concludes that 'hey, there's a black president someday!' diego and lila prance through the jim crow south without dealing with segregation as allison is hatecrimed every episode.

the sexism. look back at how all the female characters are treated. look back at how allison's mistreatment of patrick and claire is glossed over, and lila fully gets away with manipulating diego. look at how vanya's 'redemption' is all about finding maternal instincts she never had until season 2. look at how allison's assault of luther is dismissed the way it never would have been if the genders were swapped. look at how sloane is juxtaposed against allison.

the homophobia. the queer characters were either stereotyped or used as glaad award bait. the queerbait of ben and klaus's entire dynamic.

the ableism. in the comics, luther has mobility aids and his disfigurement is treated like a debilitating condition, not a punchline. his eating disorder isn't mocked. vanya's in a wheelchair after she's shot and goes through months of physical therapy and is still never the same. allison is an amputee. diego has one eye and severe ptsd. everyone's mental illness is taken seriously, including and especially klaus's addiction. in the show these elements are downplayed, absent or fuel for quirky moments.

the show is full of filler. the murder mystery plot, the meritech plot, allison following leonard around, the day that was/wasn’t…. even in season 1, there wasn't enough material to make ten episodes. there was never enough for a ten episode run for any season. and yet somehow the one season with the right runtime still drags.

the spectacle. in season 2 they fully lean into it over substance. case in point: the dance sequence.

actually i'll go into that in detail because the dance sequence sums up the whole show and its downfall.

in season one, the pilot's iconic i-think-we're-alone-now dance sequence was an emotional moment that symbolized how all the characters feel isolated and disconnected from each other, but are secretly interconnected and far more in sync than they realize. the song was catchy, but "i think we're alone now" is literally a commentary on the story it's playing over: now that the academy's abuser is dead, they can finally unwind and love each other, and they can fix their problems by literally "running as fast as they can, holding onto one another's hands." -- and how does the season end? by them doing just that.

in season two, allison, klaus and vanya's salon dance is meaningless because vanya has no clue who these people are, klaus has never given a shit about vanya before (watch season one. he doesn't care.), and allison should hate her at this point in the story. it's just there for fun... but if you swapped vanya with ben it would work as a joyful reunion between these three people. the concept of the dance is fine, but the decision to make it a fanservice moment throws it off.

in season three, the dance sequence comes out of nowhere as a ~wacky random fun moment~ to call back to the first season. the footloose song has nothing to do with the story, it's just fun and catchy. there is no substance to the spectacle anymore. it's just dumb fun.

and season four ends in 'i think we're alone now' for no reason other than to ask the viewer to remember when the show was good. no fun, just dumb.

... let's look back at the themes season one sets up.

the road to recovery takes a very long time, and you will fall off it and have to climb back on.

corporations don’t have your back. they’re soulless and they want to suck the life out of you.

abuse does not make nice people. abuse does not make happy people. there are no good victims or bad victims. (except leonard, i guess.)

it’s difficult to tell where programming stops and free will starts; toxic behavior begets toxic behavior, and we have to own up to it, stop it, and resolve to be better.

redemption is possible. the bad things you did in the past don’t define your future.

you're better together than apart. 

time. changes. everything. it isn’t too late to have the life and the love you wanted. it isn’t too late to realize your talents, or become a better person, or free yourself from a bad situation. it isn’t too late to get together, or to make up or to change your mind. there are no lost causes. the world is worth saving. your enemies are worth showing mercy to. your relationships and friendships and broken families can be salvaged and reshaped into something new and better.

things are fucked, but if we give it everything we have, we can save it, and it’s worth taking up that fight, because nothing is set in stone.

fuck it, be happy. 

remember those?

i'm gonna get into it character by character:

luther.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing he was abused, disavowing his abuser and finding his confidence to become the leader he never got to be and go after the love he lost with allison and make a family with her and claire. that was his starting point.

and the fandom hated him rabidly. they said he was just as bad as his father, insisted that he had no redeemable qualities, made fun of his body and his traumas, took the situation with vanya and removed all the moral grays to call him evil over it, and insisted that he was Somehow Abusing Allison.

in season 2, luther has conveniently disowned and confronted reginald offscreen before the plot starts.

he immediately apologizes to vanya, who is an amnesiac and can't actually hold him accountable for hurting her, and the situation is never mentioned again.

his body dysmorphia is played for laughs.

his intelligence and leadership qualities are gone and he's just a bumbling idiot. remember when luther was an astronaut who effectively kept up a faulty space station for four years on his own? could you believe this dumbass was that guy?

he's a punching bag for the fans who hated him.

and season 3 seals the deal. he's still an idiot, he's still hideous.

his romance with allison is destroyed as offensively as possible to reassure the fans who hated alluther.

his romance with sloane is a clumsy attempt to keep the payoff he and allison should have had into the story as they're placating the fans who hate them.

and in season 4, he's... a stripper. he never finds a way to love his body, he just conveniently doesn't have it anymore, and he's still treated like a joke for it.

he never meaningfully takes command of the academy, he just stops trying to.

the wife season 3 insists he loves so much is gone and he doesn't give a shit.

he never even confronts allison for assaulting him, or reconciles with her and has a significant relationship with claire.

he decides to just die.

his entire character trajectory was aborted after only one season. he spent 75% of the runtime with nothing to do, because the fandom hated him and the writers were too cowardly to follow through with his character.

diego.

his entire plotline was meant to be about letting go of his aggression issues by finding his place in the family, reforming his rivalry with luther into a deep friendship based on mutual support and unpacking his 30 year history with vanya in order to finally be happy and in love with her after facilitating her redemption.

and his character's arc is dependent on others....

so in season 2 when luther's arc was canned, so was diego's journey towards letting go of his ego and finding a way to support luther after spending his whole life being pitting against him.

in season 2, when allison's arc was canned, diego ended up with the commission / jfk assassination plot that was never meant to be his. his entire dynamic with number five was hers.

in season 2, because klaus took his vietnam plot in season 1, diego doesn't have one anymore, so there's no way to meaningfully unpack how he feels like his only purpose is violence. instead, his anger issues are totally ignored.

and in season 2, when vanya was split into elliot-page-playing-himself and lila, the romance went out the window too. yes, diego falls in love with lila, but he barely knows her, and all she's done is manipulate, drug, kidnap and hurt him and the academy... yet all that bad behavior is totally ignored in the Show About Abuse And Trauma, because they have chemistry. there's no deep, complex history between them that could have anchored the relationship. the redemption arc itself is rushed and undeserved.

oh, also, he doesn't feel upset about eudora anymore. never mentions how he got her killed, or that he loved her.

then in season 3, diego has nowhere to go but deeper into his romance arc. he has no tension with luther to resolve (and with the show assassinating alluther, there's no 'we both love our girlfriends and want to make it home to tell them that, so let's get over our bullshit and help each other get there' revelation like in the comics). his relationship with lila gets even weirder, with her... deciding to babytrap him, getting a kid killed in the process, and it being framed as quirky and hot. and no eudora again.

and in season 4, diego is a family man who doesn't give a shit when his kids are wiped from existence, whose marriage is about to implode. who decides to just die.

there's just... nothing. he's just himbo #2.

allison.

her entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how culpable she is in the abuse of her family, unlearning those manipulative tendencies and figuring out how to exist authentically, making amends with the people she hurt-- especially vanya and her ex-husband and daughter-- and restarting her life with someone she can love: luther.

allison isn't formally character assassinated until season 3, but she was wrong from the start.

because in season 1, they had her be already past all those things in the pilot episode because they're too sexist to let women be messy. allison is conveniently totally in control of her behavior and has already decided not to use her rumor anymore. she already accepts responsibility for hurting her ex and daughter.

and the writers refused to let her and vanya be angry at each other because ~we don't believe in girl hate~. leading to allison forgiving her for slitting her throat and leaving her to die.

in season 2, the writers wouldn't give her the commission plotline from the comics. allison was the protagonist of the dallas arc, who had a complex story about being willing to alienate her loved ones in order to save them, being ruthless enough to belong at the commission, making deals with the devil to get her powers back and save her the academy.... and unknowingly creating a paradox where she is responsible for the traumatizing incident of watching someone be killed when she was a girl.

instead, allison is saddled with a c-plot about how you have to be nice when you protest, and how fighting back violently against the racist who tried to literally hatecrime you yesterday makes you just as bad as him. rewatch that scene. look at how it’s framed. that’s the takeaway.

and throughout allison's time in dallas, none of the academy check in with her on how she's doing. no one cares. even when she was attacked at a protest they all know she was at, no one asks her if she's okay.

instead of showcasing allison's ruthlessness and dedication to her family, we meet her having conveniently moved on after her daughter was killed, happily settled into dallas with a new relationship, and having given up on ever finding a way home.

instead of showing allison learn to adapt to life without her rumor, we meet her having already figured out how to get a job, make friends, and have a relationship without it. she doesn’t even have to find the courage to join the activists because she did already.

instead of allison learning how to live without a physical voice, she can just talk again. her power's just... back.

instead of allison being rightfully furious at vanya for disabling her, depowering her, stranding her alone in the jim crow south for years, and killing her child... she instantly forgives her. dance party! no girl hate here!

her romance with luther is intact, but the writers know you hate it, so they're trying to please you by giving her a romance with a man who she doesn't trust with any information about her, who doesn't trust her, and who allison doesn't hesitate to abandon five days after luther shows up. but hey they have chemistry, so they were Truly In Love, apparently. no seriously, the raymond romance is bad.

season 3 tries to do the heavy lifting with the messier aspects of allison, but this happens too late, and it mostly functions as a way to assassinate her character to turn her into an angry black woman stereotype so they can kill her romance with luther as meanly as possible, and set sloane up to take her place.

she suddenly cares that her daughter is dead and that viktor technically killed her after an entire season of not caring. and her decision to alienate the academy to save her rings false because she spent two years not caring. why now.

her romance with luther implodes when the writers decide to just do what the fandom wants and make it Toxic All Along, after two seasons of framing it in the most positive light possible. and allison sits front row at his wedding to a woman he barely knows, smiling through it like that wasn't supposed to be her, or like she didn't just assault him.

because viktor and allison have had such an artificially nice relationship, there's no payoff to them learning to love each other again, like viktor encouraging the group to sympathize with allison afterher betrayal.

the effect of this is that at the end of season 3, allison has regressed into the person she was before season 1, but do you even want to see her get better or get along with the academy after she tried to assault luther, killed viktor's stepson, and sold everyone down the river to live in a fantasy world?

good news! all that doesn't matter in season 4! luther and viktor never confront allison for doing that to them. the whole family's over her betraying them. raymond? oh, he's just gone. yeah, he left between seasons. we won't even unpack the implications, or that allison's right back to being a divorcee whose husband abandoned her after learning what she did with her rumor, trying to live without that power. oh and don't worry, she isn't dependent on her power anymore. yeah, we just solved that offscreen again.

claire's here, but is there even a point.

allison and klaus's relationship is intact, but because the show won't seriously examine klaus's addiction, we can't discuss how they enable each other, or how allison's manipulative tendencies or klaus's flightiness and addiction might be affecting claire. no more intergenerational trauma discussion here.

allison has nothing to do because slowly learning how to admit how much harm she inflicted on her loved ones, live without her power, and earn vanya/viktor's trust back was her arc and it's... all over the fucking place.

then, she decides to just die.

klaus.

his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how much damage his addiction has done to himself and his family, getting clean and conquering the crippling fear of his power that made him an addict in the first place.

then in season 2, he's clean offscreen. no exploration of klaus trying to stay on the wagon for the first time in decades. we're just three years into him being totally fine sober. no complications.

and his relapse is played for laughs instead of treated like a devastating moment.

in season 2, his grief over dave is glossed over. yes, we see dave for five minutes, which is more than the three minutes he got in season 1, but klaus is Moved On Already. no discussion of what this relationship meant to him (... or how ben was affected, being the third wheel). no rumination. just a quick 'here's dave to shut the fans up' and on we go.

in season 2, klaus's excitement about exploring his powers' potential is gone already. yeah, he figured them out offscreen.

his cult plotline replaces his comics story of being a clubkeeper in vietnam and becoming a father (yes, klaus has a baby in vietnam), and the entire plotline is a mean-spirited metanarrative about how dumb the writers think his fangirls are. like. fucking look at the narrative. they're making fun of you.

and yet there are no serious consequences to the implications of klaus immediately turning into his dad the second he gets a little power. he isolated a bunch of people from the outside world, derailed their lives, tattooed them, got them hooked on the idea that The End Is Nigh and Only He Can Save Them, got them to have sex with him, and only stopped manipulating them because he was bored. not even because he realized it was wrong.

his relationship with ben is queerbaited to hell, and has no resolution.

he spends the entire season deliberately keeping ben isolated from the rest of the academy, and this is never meaningfully examined. klaus is an absolute bastard in season 2, and the writers don't acknowledge it.

by season 3, he's just a joke machine and a flamboyant stereotype. he never has a substantive interaction with sparrow ben, or struggles with his sobriety or his addiction in a way that takes it seriously. even his meeting with his mother feels empty.

and in season 4, the mothers of agony plotline from the comics is so disjointed that it's meaningless. in the comics, this is his lowest low, that ben helps him come back from.

any depth to the implications of his immortality is gone. it's just funny that he's a germophobe.

(... immortality? how'd he get killed in the first season apocalypse timeline then. no answer? okay.)

any potential in his relationship with allison and claire is gone.

like luther, his crucial development is skipped over and he spends half the season wandering in circles making jokes.

and he decides to just die.

five.

his entire plotline was meant to be about learning to trust the academy and work within them as a team member rather than running off and doing his own thing. and about slowly learning to be a person instead of a vehicle for the mission.

in season 2, he inexplicably lets the commission go and trusts they're Good Now thanks to new management, after making it clear in season 1 that he can't ever trust them.

in season 2, his antipathy with vanya is transferred to lila. he never accepts responsibility for his role in leading to her isolation.

in season 2, instead of trying to get the family together, he's still working on his own.

in season 3, instead of riding hard for viktor and sympathizing with him, he calmly tells him he'll put him down if he ever steps out of line again and ignores him the rest of the time.

for three straight seasons, he's the plot driver. but three seasons in with no other characters having a coherent arc, the plot driver became all he was. he couldn't slow down or have an emotional moment because he's the only thing moving things forward and all the people who can bring out those emotions are so ooc that it won't work.

then in season 4... oh boy.

he's not the plot driver anymore because there's no plot.

five slowly trying to embrace domesticity could have been interesting... but boy does it fall flat.

five created the commission! no, we won't discuss the nature of him being responsible for his own abuse, or perpetuating the cycle that led to the apocalypse and the academy's misery.

five falls in love... with his brother's wife, who he hates, who hates him because he hog-tied and tortured her parents to death in front of her when she was a little girl. okay.

then he decides to just die.

ben

his entire presence in the story was building to a reveal that he's only staying with klaus because he's in love with him.

in season 2 they queerbait that connection for ten episodes by framing him as a literally possessive boyfriend, give him a 'love interest' in jill that makes no sense, kill him off in a scene that makes no sense because that's not how their powers work, and have the vaguest 'by the way he was in love with you' reveal via vanya that feels like an afterthought.

klaus keeps ben from talking to anyone in the academy for the whole season for no reason. he never mentions why, ben never gets mad at him. there are no emotional consequences. ben spent an entire season able to talk to the academy and inform the world and nothing ever comes of this.

in season 3, ben's a totally different character. none of the umbrella academy have emotional reactions to seeing him alive.

not even klaus.

and he feels nothing for them.

he also feels nothing for the sparrows, who drop like flies around him without him giving a shit.

in season 4 he's a completely different character again.

no interest in reuniting with his sparrow academy mates, or the umbrella academy.

he's a crypto bro for some reason.

the south korea subway ending stinger? idk where that went.

the show does use the comics' likely endgame of ben being the portal through which the final antagonist arrives. but they do it in such a strange, meaningless way.

the romance with jennifer comes out of nowhere and makes no sense. it's unclear why he'd want to become a blob with her. there's no emotion anchoring this plot.

also, jennifer was a large, dark-skinned black woman in the comics and... isn't here. (it's also unclear if jennifer was romantically involved with ben in the comics, or if she might have been one of the kid's mothers. so uh. we'll see how that ends up.)

his tentacles come out of his back sometimes. huh?

the reveal that he was killed by their father and they were all brainwashed makes no sense. especially given that allison has brainwashing powers that are never used to cover this up.

there's never a meaningful payoff for ben as a character.

and vanya/viktor…

to start, seasons 1-2 will call her vanya because that's how the character was written, performed and received. seasons 3-4 will refer to him as viktor. that's why the name/pronouns switch back and forth in this post. those are two different characters.

alright i'm gonna say it: the show basically killed off vanya at the start of s2 and split her into two characters: lila, who's the white violin from the comics-- and has vanya's style, punk musicianship, romance with diego, mutual hate with five, alliance with the commission, status as the most powerful character, and role as the antagonist who needs a redemption arc that rejoins her with the family-- …. and the character that would become viktor, who's just elliot page playing a flattened version of himself for token queer points.

the show literally got rid of its main character one season in, sped past all the conflict with the academy to the part where they're all besties again, and gave all the interesting shit to an oc. and they did it because they cared more about profiting off of elliot page's queerness than trusting him to do his job as a professional actor, and supporting that performance in the face of a fandom that only saw him for his sexuality/gender identity.

season 2 skips over vanya learning to use her power and lose her fear of it. she's just good at it now. also, the character will never use the violin to channel her powers again, and will never again acknowledge her love of music, because elliot page didn't like playing the violin. like, sir. what are you doing playing a character called 'the white violin' then.

season 2 skips over her rage and hatred of the academy. instead of being afraid of them, avoiding them, and being hostile whenever they interact, she's instantly cool with them, dismisses their years of mistreatment and dismissal, and is part of the family with no friction despite trying to kill them, blowing up the world, and killing their niece.

season 2 totally resets her personality. amnesia! she's nice again! we know you hated her when she was angry, so don't worry about that!

season 2 gives her a romance with someone who she has chemistry with, but who fundamentally doesn't understand her. the entire relationship is just fanservice. remember the lesbian vanya truthers who thought elliot page could only play characters who were lesbians because he identified as a lesbian at the time? remember their "give vanya a girlfriend" whining? this entire plotline was for them.

season 2 hands the moment where the academy understands vanya and empathizes with her in a moment of superpower meltdown.... to harlan.

in season 3, diet elliot page just becomes overt. it's great that page's transition was incorporated into the show at his request, and at this point the damage to the character's so massive that at least they're being honest about the character just being a different entity from vanya entirely. like, fuck it. you already gave all of vanya's character to the oc. might as well.

though it's great that the transition is quickly incorporated into the story, it happens so quickly that a very easy plotline for viktor in s3 is just rushed past. he has so little to do, the transition is such an obvious fix, and they just... don't do it.

because viktor magically has full control of his powers, there's no more growth from him. and at this point his powers just do whatever. who even knows what his abilities are. the show sure doesn't.

viktor is a beloved member of the academy with no friction whatsoever, even though they're trapped in an alternate dimension because of him

allison's anger at him is demonized instead of deconstructed.

the harlan plotline certainly exists. very funny that the show casually reveals that vissy ruined sissy's life and never goes into the emotional consequences of this.

in season 4... yeah this character has nothing to do. he never expresses anger at allison over killing his stepson. his powers are even more vague. he's in canada for some reason, just to complete the transformation into elliot page.

then he decides to just die.

the main character of the story was essentially killed off one season in. the whole thing became adrift because without vanya, there's no main character anymore. no central antagonist with history with the academy, no emotional weight to their connection, no payoff to a slow redemption arc that unfolds over multiple seasons. just shenanigans.

lila

took over the vanya storyline in season 2.

lila is vanya from the comics.

vanya's hatred of the umbrella academy and antagonism towards them? it's now lila's.

vanya's alliance with the commission to destroy the world? nope. lila's the commission's ally now.

vanya's status as the most powerful character? now it's lila.

vanya and five's mutual hate? now belongs to lila and five. even the fiveya vibe rubberbanded into That in season 4.

vanya's slow redemption from a hateful villain of the academy into one of its most crucial members is handed to lila. who barely knows these people, has only ever hurt them, and yet is treated with more empathy with them after three days than vanya received in thirty years.

vanya being set up as the character who'll save the umbrellas from the sparrows? nope, that's lila now.

vanya's romance with diego? that's lila's now. no, it doesn't make sense but they have chemistry.

then in season 3... oh god. instead of unpacking lila's severe mommy issues from being abused by the handler, she's just over them now.

the academy immediately trust and embrace her even though all she's ever done is hurt them.

and for some reason, this character who's shown no maternal instincts randomly decides she wants to be a mom because her one night stand with diego, who she knew for a few days, got her pregnant.

and she tries to convince him a little white boy is their kid to test if he'll be a good father and doesn't give a shit when that child turns to dust. what are we doing here.

then in season 4, their romance doesn't even mean anything. neither does their family. they're already on the verge of a divorce. which... yeah, follows, given what their romance actually consisted of.

then she hooks up with number five, who killed her family in front of her when she was a girl. what.

.... and then we die.

the whole thing came apart in season 2. you just didn't notice yet.

and here's where i get cunty and set aside my belief that writers have an inherent responsibility to never kowtow to their fans no matter what, because the fandom is a big part of how things went wrong, and someone has to talk about it.

the umbrella academy begun as a complex metaphor for recovering from abuse, using superheroes in a gothic-adjacent setting. every single character's power is allegorical of an attribute one may take on from living in an abusive home. (and part of the missed potential in lila is the failure to fit her into that metaphor too). and the metaphor is literally in the name: the umbrella academy.

it's an academy. not a family. the characters are only adoptive siblings because reginald needed a legal way to bind them to him. they grew up in a twisted boarding school, which they explain again and again, and call each other siblings out of habit, which they also explain. and they are choosing as adults to overcome the trauma that pitted them against each other to become a found family.

... i'm gonna say it. the pseudoincest is a vital part of the story, the same way it is in the comics. that was how they were going to love each other. their ability to love each other was the sign that the brainwashing failed, and the found family was, like actual found families, going to involve some of those people pairing off romantically. allison and luther. ben and klaus. vanya and diego-or-five. that was the story.

the umbrella academy is both a giant metaphor for healing from a dysfunctional family, and for finding a queer found family (... it's the umbrella academy. that's the part of the allegory that's still unfulfilled. everyone in this story is queercoded, not just klaus and vanya/viktor. the show massively dropped the ball in not exploring this deeper.) and the fandom screamed, whined and harassed their way into having it scribbled out of the story, and the writers were cowardly enough to do it for you. if you're wondering why they kept trying to sneak alluther in through the back in season 2, still had a harcest couple get married in season 3, and pivoted to shipping lila so hard, that's why. it's the most important thing about the story, and you hated it. is it any shock that the story ends with all their relationships stunted, and no love between them.

remember all those themes from season 1? remember how you guys hated them? remember how you concluded that luther is an irredeemable monster, and klaus is an innocent little baby, and vanya is somehow both and neither? remember how you were completely uninterested in watching everyone redeem themselves, and wanted to skip to the Fun Sibling Moments? remember how you immediately dismissed half the characters as lost causes, and directly demanded that the writers not let the characters love each other? congrats, the writers were listening!

the umbrella academy comic is meant for adults. the show was made for a wider audience and the writers were totally unprepared for the fandom of antifan teens they got. and they overhauled the show to make it what that fandom wanted. more fun, less substance. making luther a bumbling idiot and sidestepping his entire arc. making diego a himbo. skipping allison's complexities until it's time to demonize her for them. making klaus into the cartoon version of himself. making vanya into diet elliot page and handing all her storylines to a new character. dismantling the show's core tone to make it a fanservice carnival. creating vissy, allmond and dielila in the first place, and coining the ship names before the fandom even chose them. making alluther toxic all along, and swapping her out with a white-passing replacement. it was all for you.

then when they ended the show, they flipped off the fandom on the way out. of course it was going to end like that. you spent five years playing oppression olympics, making bigotry self-righteous, and declaring you didn't want a transformative ending for these characters. the writers gave the fandom the hopeless, nihilistic, meandering, substanceless, nonsensical ending it was demanding all along.

so. where do we go from here.

first of all, to ao3, for those of you who haven't moved on.

next, to the comics. assuming way ever wants to finish them, now that he's received an overwhelming message that the audience for his story hates it and prefers the bastardized versions of his characters. i get the sense he'll probably leave it unfinished. i don't blame him.

then... the umbrella academy was a massive success. it's going to get a reboot someday. in 10-15 years, we're gonna get it back. my hope is that

whoever has that responsibility has a clear vision and the talent to pull it off, the backbone to stick with it, and more loyalty to the source material. no subverting expectations for the hell of it. no kowtowing to antifandom. make a plan and stick to it and have confidence in it. hopefully, the next showrunner won't be a terrible person.

the next version of tua will be mature. so the adults who will watch will hopefully be old enough to understand what they're seeing. this truly isn't a show for kids. the fandom has proven that. let's not do it again.

that it'll be animated. the incredible visual aesthetic of the show and its edgier elements could never have been captured in live-action. and now that adult animation's starting to arrive, including on netflix, maybe in a decade or two we'll finally get the umbrella academy fully realized.

anyway. that's my piece.

[atom-writings]

Can you do small scenario about ivan and short s/o (like below 160 cm that's me for sure)

I think he will help and tease at the same time (and others nation will joke about RIP s/o pelvis 💀)

(HWS Russia X Reader) Short S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N all my fellow short kings / queens we are in this together. We can unionize against the Talls (also again for reference whenever i write ivan i have him as 6 8 )

Trigger Warning: Suggestive implications in the last bit, but that's it.

Anon, you’re so right.

On one hand, he loves lording his height over you. Constantly patting you on your head, picking you up like you weigh nothing… he’s very infantilizing. He’d infantilize any S/O he has, but if you’re short, he can’t stop himself! I mean, your head barely meets his shoulder. He almost has to kneel down on the ground to kiss you. (Which he will do if he needs to, by the way. He is not embarrassed about it either.)

He will absolutely make your life just that little bit more frustrating because you’re short. If you live with him, his house has been modified over the years to fit his massive frame, so many completely normal tasks have that extra annoying step. Literally. He permanently has a step ladder in his kitchen for you. (Although sometimes he’ll misplace it, just so you have to ask him for assistance-) 

The first night you two stay together at his home, he considers buying you your own pair of pyjamas. But then you walk in wearing his shirt, which hangs out your short frame like a robe, he knows that he can never allow that to happen. Almost nothing in the entire world is a happier sight than you, wearing his clothes. Items that cling to his chest uncomfortably, but drape over you loosely, more a blanket than anything else. He’d do anything to protect that sight.

One of his favourite things to do with you is compare hands. Even if you’re muscley or plus size, his hands will still dwarf yours.

“Darling. Look at me, please?”

You turn around in your office chair, looking up at him curiously. He looms over you, his broad shoulders giving the appearance of a statue. But he quickly gets down on his knees, so his eyes meet yours. He smiles softly, looking at you like nothing else exists.

“Put up your hand,” He commands, but you know it’s a question. But nonetheless, you obey, sighing and bringing one of your hands up, realising he’s just fulfilling his routine.

Slowly, he brings his hand up as well, pressing it against yours. His palm is cold, but it’s inviting as always. At first, the rough texture of his calloused fingers made you shiver, but it soon became smooth like silk to your own.

He hums softly, “Just as small as last time.” His hands shake for a second, looking at you in surprise as you giggle at his stupid comment. The sound of your joy makes him shiver, his heart beginning to run a mile a minute.

Before you can realise what he’s doing, he’s intertwined your fingers, wrapping his large hand around yours. He pulls your hand towards him as he leans forward slowly, watching your reaction intently.

“What? I-” You start to say before being cut off by his lips crashing against yours. For just a second, you stare at him in shock, before succumbing to the intoxicating sensation of his body against yours.

A moment later, he pulls away, grinning like he’s a kid again. He lets go of your hand, preferring instead you wrap his arms around you, pulling you against him tightly. Too tightly.

“Vanya- I love you but uh- please let go.” You mumble against his chest, which had engulfed you easily.

“Hm, what was that? I could not hear you because you are simply so short and small in my arms!” 

“VANYA-”

But yeah, he will be incredibly protective of you also. He may have never been small physically, but he knows what it’s like to be intimidated by those who are bigger and stronger than yourself. But now, since he is the big and strong one doing the intimidating, he always makes sure you’re safe. If anyone EVER tries to pressure you or makes you uncomfortable at all… he always inserts himself into the situation. (“Oh, you want to creep on my precious little S/O? I will crush your head in my fist,” is all he can think of saying. Please remove both you and him from the situation as soon as possible. He is serious.)

And if you ever need to leave a situation as soon as possible, he has been known to grab you and carry you out against your will. Very embarrassing in the moment, but it usually ends up being the right decision in the long run.

If anyone ever mistook you two for father and child because of the height difference, he would be SO freaked out. Like he’s already insecure about looking like a creep, especially considering the thousand year age gap, and now people are thinking you two are RELATED? Horrifying. He needs to go home right then and cry in your arms for reassurance that he isn’t making you uncomfortable.

He really does love how short you are though. You perfectly fit cuddled up against him, like a puzzle piece. And he’s never letting go.

Oh, and yeah. Everyone is definitely gonna make that joke. I mean, they’re right. It’d probably be real uncomfortable the first time. Russia is the biggest country in the world, after all. Lucky for you, he’s also one of the gentlest. Unlucky for you, he really doesn’t understand that blood not being in the body is a problem, regardless of circumstance.

[ilikethisacompletelynormalamount]

It feels like Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal are lifelong friends, even though they insist their bond formed while working together on All of Us Strangers, the new drama from Looking and Weekend filmmaker Andrew Haigh.

On a Friday afternoon in Los Angeles in November, the pair remain in their own world. A cacophony of publicists and camera operators swirl around them, in the thick of a string of media interviews, but Scott, 47, and Mescal, 27, sit calmly shoulder-to-shoulder in a press room having their own private, whispered conversation. It's difficult to make out, which only makes you want to know what they're saying that much more. And when you pry, they shrug it off.

Perhaps this was what Haigh was talking about when he said, during an awards-season Q&A for the American Film Institute, that the three of them went to a concert in London together and his actors "completely ignored" him most of the day. "We didn't!" Scott insists. "That's not true," Mescal adds, laughing. "That's a little bit of hyperbolic directorial license," Scott says. "We need to have a word with him." *

*(emphasis entirely mine, because, seriously Andrew Haigh, wtf was that interview)

It's no wonder the internet has fallen for the bond between these Irish gents, fawning over photos of Mescal attending Scott's birthday party at a club.* The pals say they only knew of each other "a little bit" prior to All of Us Strangers, but "not as well as we know each other now," Scott quips — alluding to the sex scenes they shot together for the movie. "We know everything. The whole kit and caboodle!" However, once people see the film — part romance, part ghost story — it's their emotional bond they forge on screen that stands out... and often leads to overt sobs from the audience.

*(a club that was definitely NOT in Spain, no matter what you may have read on Twitter, just so we're clear. It was also the wrap party for Vanya, which had just ended that evening in London, so unless he has super powers, Spain's not possible. Also, Andrew was surrounded by other friends and practically everyone involved in the play, not there with just Paul FFS. Sorry, sorry, carry on. )

...

Scott and Mescal joke how it was their Irish heritage that helped them understand what Haigh was going for. "The means to express is something that we as a culture are still processing," Mescal says. "I think that's why Irish actors, generally speaking, are good at playing the stuff beneath the surface. A good healthy dose of repression helps the ol' acting." The connection these actors forge through performance is palpable. It was a surprise even to them how affected the audience became when they attended their first public screening of All of Us Strangers in Los Angeles earlier in the week. "I was balling," Scott recalls. "We had to do a Q&A afterwards. I was really emotional."

...

"To play being in love or falling in love with someone, it's the best, completely wonderful thing to be able to do," Scott says. "We were starting to get to know each other [as people], as well. Beyond our preliminary friendship, it was like both of those experiences were coexisting."

This was a very good article, you should absolutely click through and read it all so that EW knows that we are interested in this film and these actors!

(Thank you for indulging my asides, I just had some things I needed to get off my chest 😆)

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Okey same person who asked about thranduil baby daddy’s here.

By the way loved the explanation, makes sense. But I would love to hear more about Ingwe and his adopted relationship to thranduil.

Especially your opinion on how would have thranduil reacted seeing how ingwe turned out? in the sense that in valinor he was all “pease,art,music and the serving the valar”.

Also do you think if given the chance to return to middle earth after going to valinor, the we’s would have returned? And would they have brought their children with them?

I love hearing questions, so dw!

So, first things first: little reminder that everything i have to say is about my au, and is not always canon compliment.

So Ingwe actually calls Thranduil his ada. If you ever hear him talking about his Ada he means thranduil. And everytime someone tries to interfere and say “don’t you mean ingen?” After they started living in valinor (ingen and Alehalen(ingwe’s mom) went with the vanyar) ingwe point blank tells them no, they aren’t his parents.

It’s actually a point of tension, bc valinor elves don’t really understand the concept of adoption, just like they don’t really deal with divorce/remarrying/everything that happened between miriel and finwe. So a lot of elves don’t actually acknowledge that Ingwe has disowned Ingen and Alehalen. Including his younger sister Indis, who was born in valinor (yes, in this au indis is his sister) and his wife, who keeps insisting that he should mend his relationship with them.

And thranduil just treats him like he came from his body. Which isn’t difficult bc Ingwe and Lasgen could be twins tbh. Lasgen and Ingwe are genuinly close, btw, and will call each other “twin”. Thranduil is, however, ready to throw down with Ingen and Alehalen the moment he catches even the faintes whif of them treating him like shit. It was a lot of comforting a crying elfling way back when. Tbh, because custody arrangements and such didn’t really exist then, Ingwe actually just generally spent a lot of time with thranduil and his family, especially as he became older.

This actually what kind of kickstarted the bad blood between the two families. I mean, when ingen ding-dong-ditched thranduil, they were annoyed but moved on oretty quick (especially when they don’t think that loosing Ingen was any real lose) but the way ingen proceeded to treat his kids, and the way in which thranduil “stole” his sone from him really sparked the fire between the two families. Which is why ingwe doesn’t understand how Finwe, who is a Miriel simp, could possibly cheat on her with Indis, of all elves.

It’s complicated. And the drama started long before the Miriel/Finwe/Indis debacle was even thought up, though most elves don’t realize it/forgot.

So, idk if you know this, but i joke on here that Ingwe “started a cult” to deal with his emotions/gain power. Except then he lost control of the cult. To his parents. And sister. And wife. And to an extent his son. Yeah Ingwe’s just having a bad time. He also is very scared that after the thousands of years since he’s seen thranduil that thranduil no longer thinks of him as his son.

Dw, the moment thranduil is in valinor (through whatever means that may be) he pretty much immediately tracks down his long lost son and demands he comes for a family diner all while hugging the stuffing out of him. Thranduil genuinly wouldn’t care how Ingwe turned out as long as he’s happy and not an ass. Sadly, it’s sad vanya elf hours and ingwe’s been lowkey miserable for millenia and this 👌 close to snapping.

The thing about cuivienen elves, is that in general, i think, they deserve to have their own classification bc, by virtue of being the ones who discovered everything/created society/etc. they all have their wires crossed. And it’s not that they dislike peace, but most of them feel a bit stiffled in valinor. Furthermore, i feel like they feel at least a little disassociation with other vanya/teleri/noldor born elves bc cuivienen elves didn’t actually grow up in that culture, and a lot of those distinctions between elven ethnicities happened after they were kids. They feel a little lost, a little out of place at times.

I actually hc that none of the we’s were actually planning to stay in valinor or lead their people but somehow ended up in that role anways and they’re kinda pissed about it. They just wanted to explore, ok, they did not know it meant signing up to be king.

I feel like all of them want to return to middle earth, if they get the chance, but they also don’t want to abandon their people/families, nd they feel it would be unfair to ask it of their families, when a lot of them are clearly happy in valinor.

In short, in my au, the -we’s feel more or less trapped in their role.

Especially when they have to constantly behave civil, when they’re all a little unhinged. Ingwe’s actually pretty bloodthirsty when it comes down to it. It’s something he shares with Lasgen, Willow (other older sister from another mother) and indis. This drive to be ruthless and almost cruel when dealing with any type of opposition is something they inherited from Ingen, though none (bar indis) likes to acknowledge that that is where they get it from.

Also, just a thought:

Thranduil: *steps foot in valinor*

Ingwe, finwe, elwe, and olwe: finally, an adultier adult.

Might have gotten a bit side tracked, but i hope this answered at least most of your questions.

[eldritch-hall-after-dark]

What is it like with Vanya bottoming? I bet Octavian loves seeing Vanya’s tits bounce as he fucks her

Under the cut.

When Vanya bottoms, you'd better believe she's being a brat.

Teasing Octavian. Grinding against him. Pressing her tits against his chest.

Talking back to him.

"Wanna be a good girl and get on your knees for me?" "Make me >:)"

To the point where he'll just flat out refuse to fuck her (even if his dick is getting, like, painfully hard).

Instead, he'll just sit on the bed, with his strong legs open. And invite her to hump his leg instead.

"You wanted to act like a little bitch, may as well get off like one," he'd joke.

But she'd take it entirely serious. Grinding her gushing pussy against his calf, whining, trembling with lust.

It's only when she's tetering over the edge of an orgasm that Octavian moves his leg away, leaving Vanya whining for more. Her pussy glistening with arousal.

...and it's at that point that Octavian starts treating his girlfriend like the queen she is.

"C'mon, baby... you’ve been so naughty... May as well make you happy" growling as he fucks her brains out from behind (with a condom on - wrap it before you tap it!).

Holding her hips, gripping them so hard his knuckles turn white. Kissing her neck, biting her skin.

Making sure everyone knows that it's him that makes her tremble like this.

It's him that has her screaming like a cock-drunk whore.

It's him - and only him - that makes her feel this good.

And as Vanya cums, squeezing his cock, he can't help but roll her onto her back, fucking her through it again and again and again.

Until all she can think about is how good he feels inside of her.

(And yes, he does enjoy watching his girlfriend's boobs bounce, but that's besides the point-!)

[brxxksazars]

[ shayan sobhian, cis-male, he/him ] - was that BROOKS AZAR i saw by the lighthouse today? i heard that the TWENTY-SEVEN year old who has been in nightrest for TWELVE YEARS and works as a LATIN TEACHER AT WARDWELL has a reputation of being OUTGOING, but also UNORTHODOX. they reside in LOW POINT & people in town usually associate them with A SCHOOL RECORD OF VISITS TO THE HEADMISTRESS’ OFFICE, A PERPETUALLY UNMADE BED DRESSED IN SHEETS LEFT OVER FROM CHILDHOOD, & SUFFOCATING SILENCE FILLED WITH FINGERTIP DRUMMING. let’s hope the killer doesn’t go after them next. 

tw: strained familial relationship, smoking mention

It had been clear early on that Brooks was different from the rest of his family, the black sheep even before he hit puberty. His parents, Javad and Vanya, were successful in their careers as a psychiatrist and chemical engineer, respectfully. His younger sister, Nessa, had practically come out the womb an overachiever: saying her first word faster than he had, excelling at diving and earning a scholarship to multiple Ivy's. He on the other hand, was the sort of kid teachers described as a distraction to the class. He was smart, make no mistake, just not exactly the most responsible. Brooks had forgotten to either do or bring his homework multiple times in a week and he was perpetually late to class, usually having lost track of time talking to one friend or another. Sometimes even too busy sweet talking the lunch lady.

Figuring what he needed was structure, his parents got him into Wardwell and shipped him off his sophomore year. While their intentions may have been for the best, it only proved what Brooks had thought for years: he was too much for his own family. He used the distance as an excuse to fall out of touch, calling maybe once every two weeks. When they came for parent weekend, and they didn't seem to notice the shift in his feelings, well that just solidified everything. Family by blood , nothing else.

Brooks has always been social, almost collecting people into his found family. At Wardwell, the door to him dorm had been open 90% of the time. And now, with his own place in Low Point, that sentiment remains. He thankfully retired the old futon for a semi-decent pull out couch that has been known to host friends and the like after a night out or fight with families or partners.

Applying for the position at Wardwell had been a Hail Mary of sorts. With his track record from back in the day, he figured it was an immediate no but went with the good ol' motto of "fuck it." To this day he still jokes that they must have been desperate. While being at the school brought up complicated emotions, it was still kinda home to him. Or maybe it was because he was a big fish in a little pond. Either way.

Latin was a required course at Wardwell when he went; something about being good for the SATs and all those tests. Brooks didn't care much about that, instead liking the non-language aspects of it all. The myths, the stories, the history. It was much more fun learning a language that had you translating people turning into cows and trees than simply figuring out how to ask where the bathroom was.

He doesn't always see eye to eye with the Headmistress, however. The structure his parents at sent him away to find... yea, fuck that. He's the sort of teacher that'll move class outside if it's nice enough, let the conversation veer far off course from the lesson plan, and accepts out-there project ideas. Just last semester he had a pair of girls present on the Battle of Thermopylae with a detailed puppet show. While not the best teacher with the best results, he's fairly popular with his students. They know he's also the type to say yes when others won't, which is how he's landed himself as the advisor to Coffee Club and Bigfoot's Army, a more unusual club that bounces back and forth between nature walks, discussions on Mothman, and general conspiracies.

Brooks is the type to tell you that coffee is considered a meal. Already not a morning person, he is practically useless after getting up until he's had at least one cup. He's a loyal Daily Dose customer and does actively judge those who make the trek to Dunkin.

Aside from getting his coffee fix, Brooks is also a regular at C's, seeing as it's down the block from his apartment and since moving to the Northeast has developed a major love for all things seafood. Spirits on the other hand... less his scene. Firstly, he thinks the whole haunted thing is stupid and, despite growing up well-off, he can't fathom spending double digits on a cocktail. Besides, he's not much of a drinker anyways, left that behind him in college. Now he much more prefers smoking (and is usually down to share).

Brooks has four tattoos, all done at Permanent Record and all impulse decisions: a bigfoot on his calf, a sad party balloon on his forearm, a man riding a fish on his bicep, and, for some reason he can't fully recall, the word 'pluto' on his side.

wanted connections:

best friend(s)

friends

old friends

old roommate a wardwell

someone he went to college with - did not establish where

smoking buddies

someone he grabs coffee with

exes

fwb

one-night stand

enemy/do not get along

someone he annoys

found family, people he considers to be like his siblings or even aunts/uncles, parents

parent of one of his students

neighbors

there’s plenty more i just cannot think atm

[sunlitsorrows]

Looking up the name Vanya because I have always loved it has fallen me down the rabbit hole on Eastern European names

The twins are named after their biological father and step father respectively, and right now im feeling a special kinda warm and fuzzy about Ivani and Ilya (or Vivi and Yaya, when they are very small); the Vanya to Ivani pipeline is easy, because it’s just a reversal of irl’s Ivan to Vanya, but Vanya would have been given a longer “higher” name when he was brought to court… may have to come back to that.

But Ilya is likewise pretty simple, Ilariya is a real name, and I think something like Ilariys suits the Prince very well.

Ilya the son of Ilariys Something-Or-Other-Royaly-Sounding.

Ilariys Something-Or-Other The Second

But back to Vanya’s court name… past name ideas have started with an R—Rem, Ren, René, So maybe an R name that Vanya could be derived from? Ravani. Revani? Obligatory Ravioli Joke Goes Here. Renevani? ROSENANTÉ! No. Renevandis

Ivani the son of Renevandis?

[verumfm]

is that … MAJIMA HATSUO & VANYA SVETLA VYACHESLAVOVNA returning home after a journey? the town of cynefin welcomes you, pb. please be sure to review our local laws before you settle in.

the following faceclaims & positions are now taken: nesrin cavadzade, yusei yagi, the professor of human biology (etc.), & muse 20.

( yusei yagi, demi man, he/they ) — the halls of verum academy is home to MAJIMA HATSUO, the twenty-six year old student of decomposition. listen to the whispers that follow them through the door of the death of superego classroom, the ones about there's a laugh that echoes in the funeral parlor, but you can't point out who it belongs to.  was it mirth?  was it jolly remembrance?  you cannot place it  /  the greater self is within grasp, but a certain manner of death is required to reach it. death of the ego. transmutation of self. metamorphosis is a constant within mortal life. he doesn't fear this.  /  regret is not easily shouldered, but what of those who don't feel it? not out of malice, but out of good-natured intents.  why should someone regret an earnest attempt? /  a joke at the wrong time,  a joke at the right time.  there is always a wit to be held.  without it, all color may be lost, once they graduate, their legacy will be one that is persistent and witty in nature, but the records will not mention that they are known to be tactless and morbid, too. they are, after all, the future of verum. ╱ PB, 26, he/they, cst.

( nesrin cavadzade, nonbinary, she/they ) — amongst the faces lining the staff portrait wall, you recognize VANYA SVETLA VYACHESLAVOVNA, the fourty-one year old professor within the school. having spent nine years as a member of the verum staff, students say that they’re reminiscent of the harsh winterb but of the cold, but the warmth you seek within sanctuary ; beauty of the early morning frost, how it glistens and shines under soft sunlight ; the first flower after a brutal freeze,  winter has not yet relented its grasp, but the color is returning to the lang /  a lover above all else, but a bitter taste lingers against their blushed lips. their nurturing and honorable temperament brings color to these halls, but be warned, you may also find them to be martyrish and verbose. regardless, hopefully they’ll remain when it’s time for verum to open its doors again. ╱ PB, 26, he/they, cst.

[aspenmissing]

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚢 𝙺𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 (Pt 1)

Elizabeth is stood in a revealing uniform.

"So what's this new outfit for?" She asks.

"It's the tavern uniform" Y/N is holding a mug of booze, shaking her head.

"Way to put your pervy thoughts on display on there dude" Hawk says. Meliodas looks at Elizabeth from different directions.

"If I may ask, why doesn't Lady Y/N wear this uniform" Meliodas shrugs.

"I'm normally in my wolf form, to help set people straight and have a second think about fighting" Y/N hold the mug close to her mouth "And because Meliodas knows I will hit him to the next kingdom if he even brings up the idea" she drinks her booze.

"Oh, right. While I'm waiting on tables, you want me to keep track of rumors and collect information about the possible whereabouts of the Eight Deadly Sins, right?"

"Some intel on the Holy knights would be okay too" Meliodas then goes behind Elizabeth and lifts her skirt, she blushes "Oh, don't worry. I just need to conduct a size check" Y/N grabs Meliodas by the collar and pulls him away, hutting him hard on the head. She gives him to Hawk as poofs into her wolf form, protecting Elizabeth; growling at Meliodas.

"You moron, you scaring away the one person who can bring people in," Hawk says. Minutes later, Y/N is back in her human form. Standing next to Meliodas.

"Excuse me Sir Meliodas? Lady Y/N? There's something I've been wanting to ask you?" They look over at her "The Eight Deadly Sins, are you that wicked? Are you all terrible criminals like the rest of the world said? And if you are what awful crime did you two commit?"

"Our crimes, huh," Meliodas says, sharing a look with Y/N "Well..."

"Seems to me that they just don't understand what kind of people you are. After all, you two made the effort to save me even though you have no idea who I was"

"The truth is...10 Years ago, I traveled through Liones, stealing every pair of panties I could get my hands on"

"And I went to every tavern in Liones and drunk their booze dry, nothing left for months.

"Y-You've gotta be kidding"

"We are," Y/N says. Elizabeth's sweat drops.

"Okay, what I did was stalk 1,000 pretty girls with perfect boobs and groped them all"

"And I went outside of Liones and drank all their booze supplies, leaving nothing"

"Groping? Drinking? Those are just joking right?"

"They are," Meliodas says. Elizabeth's sweat drops again.

"Please stop messing around, or is the truth that you two committed a crime so terrible that you can't put it into words"

"Maybe," Meliodas says. The Tavern suddenly launches to the side and Elizabeth falls. She's "Luckily" caught by Meliodas who has his face in her boobs "Careful"

"Knock it off," Y/N says.

"Hey, we're here," Meliodas says "This is our next wellspring of information, Vanya Village!" They get down from the big and watch as she goes into the ground, leaving nothing but the tavern.

"We usually buy all our liquor from wherever we can find it, but Vanya's stuff is special" Y/N says as they make their way to the village "Best water you can find is here in this village"

"And with the gruit going down by the river, it's used to brew Vanya Ale. It's got fans far and wide" Meliodas says.

"Number 1 being right here" Y/N adds. Her hands behind her head. They look over the edge of the bridge.

"Well it used to," Hawk says "Now those famous waters of there's is bone dry"

"Look, those herbs along the bank are dead," Elizabeth says. Y/N looks down to where the water should be. She puts her hands down to her sides.

"No, not my Vanya Ale"

"What's going on?" Meliodas asks. They walk further into the village till they come to the center where there is a large crowd. Elizabeth laughs.

"Just look at all the people out here in the square. Think it's some kind of festival?" Meliodas walks over.

"Hey, what's up guys," He says. Elizabeth, Hawk, and Y/N follow.

"Oh, it's the bad kid and his guard"

"What's this festival for today" The two men look down at him with surprise.

"This looks like a damn festival to you. We're trying to pull out a sword some Holy Knight jabbed in the ground" They watch as many men try to pull the sword out.

"Stuck in the ground?" Y/N asks "Why'd he do that"

"Days ago a holy knight brought his wrath down upon us" An elder man explains "He infused his sword with mana, pierced the ground and locked away the water under our village"

"If we don't do something about this soon, we'll lose our water and our fruit too," A villager says.

"Then we won't have any more Vanya ale, Damn," Another villager says.

"No more Vanya Ale supplies, aww," Y/N says, looking down.

"A Holy Knight? Think it might be that man you two defeated the other day?" Elizabeth asks.

"Who? that Twigo guy with the mustache? No, not a chance. He wasn't a Holy Knight"

"Trust us, the reals ones are a whole lot worse" Y/N adds.

"Only a Holy Knight has the power necessary to draw a sword belonging to another," The elder man says "Breaking the news isn't going to be easy. But I'm afraid this village is done for"

"Oh no!" Elizabeth says.

"Aw, give me a break," A young boy says, walking past Meliodas and Y/N. They look at him "What's the deal with all this moaning and groaning?"

"It's Mead," A villager says. And they look at him.

"A holy knight's sword stuck in the ground is nothing. My buddies the Eight Deadly Sins we're here, that sword would be gone by now" Y/N looks at him with slight amusement.

"Quite Mead!" A woman says "And who's fault is it that we're all in this predicament in the first place! Of all the things to say, do you have to mention those criminals too!"

"Yeah, she's right! We don't need to make the holy knight angrier!"

"Do you have a grudge against us or what kid"

"No! Come on! That's not the reason I did it!" Mead says.

"We've had it with all your mischief and all your lies!"

"Your suck a jerk" A little girl throws a rock, which hits Meliodas in the face. Y/N laughs.

"I hate you guys!"

"Yeah, well guess what. We hate you, even more, Mead" A boy says. They begin throwing rocks. Y/N gets Mead under her arm and Meliodas in the other and rushes them back to the Tavern. Rocks are still being thrown off both of them.

"I hate you! Your nothing but jerks!"

"Stop it! All of you!" The elder man says.

"Sure looks like we picked a lousy time to come down here and hang out," Hawk says.

"Deep down inside, he's an honest, well-meaning boy"

"Well, we've done things that sucked less," Meliodas says to Mead who's resting his head on a table. Y/N is sitting opposite him, drinking a mug of booze.

"You weren't getting hundreds of rocks thrown at you, you just got one" Y/N says.

"Tell me, kid, why did they all"

"Don't call me that, you're a kid too" Y/N snorts.

"No, I'm not actually"

"You act like it," Y/N says, drinking her booze.

"What is this, a tavern?" Mead asks.

"Yeah. The Boar hat, it's our place"

"Well, I'm hungry"

"if you answer our questions, I'll make sure you get some food," Y/N says. Mead puts his hands behind his head and smiles.

"Nope, food first" Meliodas groans before giving him. Later, a plate with food on it is in front of Mead.

"That look's great! I can't wait to dig into this" Mead takes a bit of the chicken leg(?-I think). He instantly spits it back out. Meliodas is at the bar, filling two mugs with booze.

"I never claimed it was going to be any good" Meliodas goes back over to the table and places two mugs down, one for himself the other for Y/N. He sits next to Y/N.

"So, is it true?" Y/N asks "All that stuff about you being friends with the Eight Deadly Sins?"

"Your food gave me amnesia" Mead sniffs before looking at them. Y/N sweat drops.

"This is why children annoy me" She mutters, taking another drink of her booze.

"Wait a minute are you two drinking Vanya Ale?" He watches Meliodas take a drink "Hey, should a kid your age be drinking that"

"I already told you, I'm not a kid"

"Man, it tastes really good doesn't it"

"Yep," Y/N says, drinking the ale.

"It's the best, sweetest full-bodied...Oh, so I hear from the adults" The door opens and in walks Elizabeth and Hawk, who closes the door.

"You two made it back," Meliodas says. Elizabeth leans down to Mead.

"So Mean, I hear you quite the prankster with a bad sense of humor," Elizabeth says, "The chief in your village told me so"

"What's it to you? Who do you think you are, my mother?" Elizabeth smiles before kneeling on the floor.

"When I was young, I used to get scolded by my father for pulling pranks"

"Yeah, and that means what to me?" Elizabeth continues to smile.

"I wanted his attention. He wasn't the father I was born to" Elizabeth says. Y/N and Meliodas look at her with curiosity "Then one day, when I was a little girl, I climbed a tall tree in the garden, hoping to give him a real scare. He turned pale as a ghost and started up the tree to try and save me. This man, who has never climbed one in his entire life. Then he fell out of the tree and hurt himself, but luckily it wasn't serious" She pauses "But still, I remember every minute of it like it was yesterday. If he died, I know that I could have never forgiven myself" Mead puts his hand on the table.

"I don't do this kind of stuff, because I don't feel for them, they're all good to me" Elizabeth places her hand on his back, smiling.

"Then why do you?" She asks.

"My mom and dad were always going from place to place, I was even born on the road. But when we stopped her in Vanya a few years ago, there was an epidemic, they got sick and died. That's when the people of the village took me in and raised me as one of their very own. And I was so thankful they did, but I wasn't a part of anyone's real family" Mead starts to tear up "I got jealous 'cause I knew I would never get what they had" He starts crying "I started lying and pulling pranks" He wipes his tears.

"Is that why you put the bug in the Holy knight's drink, too. Cause you were upset"

"No" Elizabeth pulls her hand back as he slams the table "I did that because the knight treated everyone in the village like they were crap" Meliodas, Y/N, Hawk, and Elizabeth look at him surprised. He told his story "We just care so much about it, everyone put their heart and soul into making that ale. But he insulted them. Holy knights are no-good bastards"

"Okay? What about saying your good friends with the Eight Deadly Sins?" Y/N asks.

"Well, I-I lied"

"Too bad, you gotta admit, I kinda had my hopes up," Meliodas says.

"What made you tell a lie like that?" Elizabeth asks. Y/N and Meliodas drink their ale.

"The Eight Deadly Sins are wanted by the Holy Knights, aren't they? If the Holy Knights are going after them, doesn't that mean the Eight Deadly Sins are the good guys?" Hawk and Elizabeth share a look before looking at Y/N and Meliodas who are drinking their booze.

"What?" They say in unison. Elizabeth laughs. They hear loud voices outside.

"That's coming from the village," Mead says.

"Mead! Wait" Mead runs out of the tavern.

"Yikes" Y/N mutters finishing her booze.

In the village, two knights are standing on either side of the sword, staring at the people of the village.

"Now, listen up you peasant scum!" The tall one says "If you haven't pulled out the holy knight's sword by sundown, then we're gonna charge you 10 times the normal product tax"

"That's insane"

"With all the water dried up, we can't even make one bottle of ale, much less 10 times that amount!"

"That's your punishment," The small one says "Not only did you insult a holy knight, you also claimed to be friends with those know criminals, The Eight Deadly Sins"

"Damn! If Mead hadn't pulled that stunt none of this would have happened!" Mead then runs past the villager to the swords and tried to pull them out, shocking the two knights.

"Mead, no!" A woman says.

"The little big mouth, it isn't going to be very fun if he's the only one"

"So we're gonna charge 20 times the tax now!" Mead tries harder.

"You know you can't pull out that sword!"

"Stop it, Kid, your only making things worse for us!"

"Alright, that's enough!" The elder man shouts. Everyone stops and looks at him.

"Chief?"

"Who insulted our great skills and wounded out pride as ale makers?" He asks "Was it, Mead? No! Wasn't that boy only expressing the feelings we were all having deep down inside" Mead continues to struggle with the swords until a woman goes over to him, placing her hand on his back and hand.

"Auntie?" Mead asks.

"The chief is right about this, you weren't the one to blame Mead" A little boy and girl run over to them. The men in the village begin going towards Mead.

"Hey! You people hear what we said!" The tall Knight shouts "Pour the beer out of your ears" Mead, the woman, and the two kids try to pull the sword out "It's 20 times now!" The big men of the village walk over to them.

"You just leave this to the men now" Mead continues to pull.

"Okay, Mead" The men share a look of determination.

"Okay"

[xviruserrorx]

Title: "The Rain Before The Rainbow"

Chapter 7/7: "If I'd Stay Up With You At Night, Had I'd Known How to Save A Life"

(Prev Chap-Edited) (Next Chap-Edited) • (Prev Chap-Non Edited) • (Edited Chapter) • (Story Masterlist)

This fic was originally written around late 2019-early 2020 ish, but was abandoned for reasons and now I'm gonna re-write it to but I have a no-delete rule so I'm posting all the original drafts here for anyone who still wants to see them. "But Virus these are terribly written" you may say and, yeah I know, this story was one of the first things I had written after a 5-6 year writing hiatus... But here they are terrible Grammer and all!

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Tv & Comics)

Relationship(s): Five | The Boy & Everyone

Character(s): Five | The Boy, Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Vanya | Viktor Hargreeves, OC - Ymir Cyprus

Important Tag(s): Alternative Universe - No Sparrow Academy, Comic Book Elements, Time Traveling, Five-Centric

Rating: Teen and Up

Warning(s): Major Character Death, Cannon Character Death

Word Count: 3,873/41,006

The Hargreeves return from 1963 and find they have averted the initial Apocalypse. The siblings return to life as it once was but now together and not expecting impending doom. Five begins to adjust to life with his siblings how it used to be but knows something is missing. By something, he means someone. What happens when Five decides to jump back in time and try to save Ben. Is he successful? Or will he face the consequences of his actions?

"The End To The Beginning, The Beginning To The End" - Tumblr | Ao3

->Next: N/A

Continue reading below or read the edited version on Ao3

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Klaus/Diego(POV)

A month 

31 days

And Five still hadn't came back  

Everyone blamed themselves for what had happened.

Especially himself, he had lied to the others and to Five about Ben, yet he still hadn't come forth to everyone. Diego never brought the topic up to him again knowing what had happened that night with both brother's cuddled up in one another.

"You know this would be the last thing he would want you to be doing Klaus," Ben hovered over him as he threw back what might've been his 9th shot of whiskey.

"Shut up, Ben," He tried pulling his coat further over his head to block out his ghost brother but with no prevail. He finally caved in to talking to his brother he had been trying to ignore the whole day

"Come on Klaus, 3 weeks down the drain everyone's worried about Five but you can't stay intoxicated until he comes back." 

"Watch me," his words were beginning to slur as he tried to order another shot. Klaus raised the shot glass and signaled to the bartender as he slammed the glass back on the bar, black lipstick smeared where he had drank from.

"No can do Klaus, that was your last call, cut off time already so you get water," the bartender knew him personally much like his friend whom was a paramedic.

"Is it at least flavored water," he asked as the glass was placed in front of him.

"I can make you a non-alcoholic drink if you prefer that to water," he was leaning against the counter talking to Klaus. It was a slow night and already 1am. 

"When do I do non-alcoholic, Matt?" Klaus joked as he laid his head down on his arms.

Matt shook his head at Klaus, "is someone coming to pick you up? Brother, sister, girlfriend,  boyfriend if you have one yet." 

"He's right Klaus you can't walk home all fucked up like that, at least let him call Diego for you," Ben's voice was laced with desperation to his older brother.

"No one's coming, just me, Myself, and I tonight, Matty," Klaus was given a questioning glance from the bartender as he took a drink of his water.

"You sure, I practically have your brother's number memorized. I can call him for you." Klaus frantically shook his head, "he's gonna be mad at me." Words he would never say slipped out due to his nine plus whiskey shots he drank minutes ago.

"Klaus, Di is never mad at you as long as he knows you're safe," Ben's words passed right over Klaus as the séance ignored him.

"He usually seems almost relieved whenever he walks in here to take you home, seems like a good big brother." 

Klaus smiled to himself, Diego was a good brother he couldn't deny that. But for him he never considered himself a good brother in return. More often than not he felt more like a failure compared to everyone or a bother than an actual brother. He was always just the druggie or junkie brother who could see the dead.

"He is, just I never told anyone I was going out so they're probably all frantically looking for me like ants when they lose their line." Matt laughed at Klaus' comparison for his siblings.

"Well, like I said I know his number I can always call him up for you, I don't mind." 

Klaus gasped, "Matty do you like my brother?" The bartender chuckled and looked at Klaus, "Cute, but not my type." He finished polishing a glass before looking at his watch. 

"You think my big brother wouldn't bottom for you," Klaus chuckled as Matt's eyes widened.

"The way he's dressed, Definitely not… are you implying something Klaus?" 

Klaus shrugged his shoulders as he stood from the bar stool, "I mean my little sister is possibly bi, kinda always thought at least one of the other 5 were, you know…. too." 

"Well I think you and me can both agree your brother doesn't look like the one to hook up with someone that looks like me nor you."

Klaus started moving away from the bar slowly, his strides wobbly and staggered, "You never know Matty old pal." He pushed open the bar door slipping out into the dark night.

"What are you gonna do… Walk home Klaus!? It's almost 2 in the morning and you're drunk out of your mind." Klaus waved his hand to shoot Ben away as he staggered down the sidewalk.

The alcohol already was hitting his system as he made his way to the familiar place he spent most of his adult life. A guy about his height stood at the end of the end of the dark alleyway as he made his way over to the familiar guy.

Klaus dug in his coat pocket and waved a wad of cash in front of the guy while the man pulled out a small bag filled with pills that his body was craving. They both exchanged items as Klaus quickly made his way out of the alleyway and walked down towards a busser area. 

Young women and men alike stood at a designated place. Almost all of them were dressed in clothes similarly to how he was dressed walking up to cars that would stop and pass by. Some climbed in the cars that stopped while others would walk back to their group of people as the car's drove away.

Eye quickly glued to him as he walked past the area. His chest was practically bare with the black lacy see through crop-top he had on along with his tight leather pants and leather heeled boots. His fur coat hung from his shoulders as he brought up his finger to fix his black lipstick, had been drinking not through a straw he knew it was probably smeared in most places.

He took notice of some cars that slowed down as certain windows were rolled down as he paid no attention to them. He wrapped his coat closed and crossed his arms over his chest and walked faster out of the area Klaus knew exactly what it was.

"Hey, love wanna head back to my place?" A man, about his age asked. He was leaning against his opened window with one arm while the other hung over the steering wheel. He Slowly followed in his car while Klaus picked up his pace and walked faster away from the creep.

"Sorry, my body's not for sale tonight." Klaus could hear the clicking of his boots as he reached into his pocket pulling out a lighter and a cigarette. Lighting it he noticed the humming of the engine that belonged to the car no longer sounded like it was a parrot on his shoulder. He succeeded in taking in a puff from the cancer stick before he heard Ben gasp behind him. A hand grabbed his upper arm spinning him back around.

The guy was now in front of him as his car was parked a few feet back, "then what's a cute thing like you doing dressed like this and in this area?" The man moved his hand to grab Klaus' wrist while his other one snaked to his lower back. The cigarette previously in his hand had dropped to the ground as surprise stunned him for a couple seconds.

His eyes roamed Klaus' body as Klaus tried to pull away out of the man's grip with no prevail. He noticed the situation caught the attention of some of the other men and women in the area as they looked over, some watching to see how far it goes.

"I was just passing through and this is how I always dress." His words slurred slightly, enough for the man to realise Klaus was drunk as the hand on his lower back moved slightly south and he was pulled closer to the man. His body was pressed slightly up against the perverts with his face lingering close to Klaus' ear.

"Well I can just give you a ride to where you're going, yeah? That way a pretty sweet boy like you is not in this area anymore and mistaken for something you're not." His words had this hidden white lie behind them and we're spoken with a lightness as if to not scare him away.

Before he could get his drunk, drugged induced body to cooperate he was tugged slightly to the car. He tried to pull away but his body was like jello and not listening to his brain. He heard chatter grow more amongst the group of people, some yelling things while he heard Ben doing the same, unable to physically do anything though. He was tugged closer to the car before he heard heavy fast footsteps near him.

"Hey!" 

'Thank goodness'

"Let go of him." The voice was familiar to Klaus.

A arm caught his weight as the man pushed him away scurrying to his car before driving away. He felt the presence of a taller man as the hand holding him up gingerly wrapped onto his petite frame. Klaus turned his head towards the hand that was still gripping onto him as he moved his gaze up to a familiar face.

"Matt….?" 

The 6'3 bartender in front of Klaus pulled him gently in the direction of his car and slid Klaus into the passenger seat before sliding into the driver's seat. "Are you okay?" He saw his eyes glance over Klaus before moving to start the car up.

"What-Why are you here?" Klaus didn't know why the guy he only saw when he wanted alcohol was here saving him from some creep.

"You know Klaus a 'Thank you' would be in order for him?" Klaus ignored Ben's comment as he continued to look at Matt.

"Because I called your brother to come pick you up…..I didn't realise you ventured off that far in such a short amount of time." Klaus didn't know what to say, he didn't want Diego to come pick him up and be a bother to his brother. Yet in the same way he wanted to go home he also wanted to stay out on the streets where he could obtain all the drugs he wanted. His rested head on the window felt heavier and heavier, probably from the drugs and alcohol in his system but also due to the fact it was 2 in the morning. 

"It's always today…….. did something happen on this date, Klaus?" 

Klaus wanted to close his eyes and pretend the last month maybe few were all just a fever dream. The apocalypse coming twice, spending 3 years in the 60s and forming a cult, vietnam and meeting Dave, then meeting him again only to further insure he would get killed. Five coming back home and then finding out little sweet Vanya had very deadly powers probably more than all of them combined. 

Then Five left again this time no one knew for how long and once again the family was falling apart. Certain siblings acted as glue and once the glue left everything else crumbled and fell to the ground. He looked up to the rearview mirror seeing where Ben was sitting in the middle back seat.

"Yeah, something did...a long time ago." 

~

Diego chucked a file onto his desk startling the rest of the team that were in today. Everyone turned towards him as he ran his hand over his face before talking.

"10-year-boy, went missing 24 hours ago, was last seen at the park downtown by his 19 year old sister…… the case was handed off to us because nearby surveillance cameras caught him leaving with a man in the same grey trench coat and top hat as the 7-year-old girl who went missing four weeks ago in her own front yard." 

He threw the other file in his hand on his desk as he circled around and grabbed another file from the cabinets. His throat felt dry as he began to speak about the next thing.

"A 13-year-old boy that went missing 10 days ago was found this morning by some tourist in the middle of a forest…. The MO is consistent with our guy. He was sexually assulted and mutilated on many parts of his body." 

He put his weight against his desk as all the others started reading through the files. He didn't know how he was getting sleep at night with everything going on. If he could consider one to two hours sufficient sleep.

The sun had set hours ago as only ceiling LED lights and lamps kept the place illuminated. They all had loved ones waiting at their individual homes for them to return home to. 

"Hey, Hargreeves" his head shot up at his last name with Nico waving him over.

"The cap wants you in his office," he gestured over towards the office up against the wall by the far right. He nodded his head as he made his was over to the door, letting himself in and closing it behind him.

"What's up Lupo?" 

"The thing with your brother….have you had any leads on it." Diego took a breath and sent his gaze to the floor.

"Were not sure where he's at exactly, but nothing has drastically changed so we know he hasn't messed with the timeline yet." 

"And that missing persons report you filed on him?" 

Diego shoved his hands into his pockets, "Just a precaution in case anything did happen to him." A moment of silence passed by till Lupo spoke.

"You know Kraken you can take a day off every once and a blue moon, i've known you for sometime now and one thing I learned about you is that you never take a break." 

Diego scoffed, "a break is the last thing I need right now Lupo, what I need is to find this bastard doing all this and get my little brother back home." 

Lupo lit a cigar in his mouth taking a puff out of it, "tell everyone to head home it's getting late, you guys are on this case like a pack of bloodhounds sent to track a sent." 

Diego turned around towards the door with his hand on the doorknob, "If only we were as good as the bloodhounds." Diego stepped through the door letting it fall back into place as he stepped out to the team. 

Moving feet followed by lights flickering off and goodbyes were sent each other's way as they all made it to their individual cars. Diego slid into the drivers seat as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He started the car before taking a glance at the caller ID.

He pulled the phone to his ear, "what's up Allison." 

"Did Klaus tell you anything about him leaving to do something today or where he was going." Allison's voice sounded bothered, almost frantic in a way.

"No why? What happened?" Diego had his hand on the steering wheel waiting for Allisons response.

"He just disappeared a couple hours ago without telling anyone, I thought he had been in his room the whole time but apparently not." 

Diego cursed under his breath as he started to drive to the academy, "by a couple of hours how long do you mean?" 

"I don't know six maybe seven?"

He gripped the steering wheel tighter as he turned the corner, Klaus ...... "I'll be there in a couple minutes. Did you check the rest of the house?" 

He heard Allison talking to somebody then redirected back to him, "Vanya's checking the last of the places right now." 

Diego was worried and frustrated at the same time yet all he could tell them was he was on his way.

----

"So you're just gonna let our little brother be out when we know he could possibly be hurt or other worse things!" Diego brought his hand up running it over his face.

The three eldest siblings were gathered in the living after they had searched the house for Klaus and no one could find him. Vanya was checking last places that she knew he might be which left the three alone with each other.

"Diego we don't even know if he's out doing something or not." Allison tried to argue with Diego as Luther stood beside her.

"Al you know exactly what he is doing right this second, don't play dumb!"

"She has a point, Diego, we're not gonna waste our time searching the city for him." Diego clenched his jaw at Luther's words as Vanya stepped into the room.

"Klaus isn't a waste of time you asshole." He tightened his fist as Vanya interrupted the conversation which Diego was glad she did.

"I still can't find him……. I'm really worried." Diego walked over, hooked his arm around Vanya and pulled her closer to him. He felt her arms wrap around him as he kept his hand on her back.

"Of all day's Luther, I think you'd at least care a bit…..just on this day." Diego's urge to try to knock some sense into the eldest sibling was held back by his sister hugging him.

"It's not that I don't care Diego, we all know what Klaus does!" Diego bit his lip trying to gather his words before speaking.

"What Luther?! What exactly does he do since you apparently know everything despite you hardly caring about him?!" 

"Diego...please don't." He looked down at Vanya as she laid her hand on his arm.

"He goes and gets high off his ass, we all know this Diego." Diego crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah and? Do you know about all the times he's OD? Or possibly all the times he's been pushed around in the streets… he actually tries Luther, he's the one that checks himself into rehab not anyone else, he wants help but because he's surrounded by ghosts all the time it permits him from getting clean." 

He moved away from Vanya out of fear of hurting her if he got mad and slightly paced up and down the small area where they were standing in the living room.

"Yes Ben died t-today, why do you think Klaus went out in the first place….when everything with Five happened he kept relapsing because what do you expect! If Five actually did fucking die this time I don't think he would want to know that!" He noticed when his voice slightly cracked when he brought up Ben and Five.

Silence brooded over the room with only the faint echo of Diego's voice still ringing in everyone's ears and the cracking of the wood in the fireplace. Allison moved over and sat in one of the chairs by the fireplace with her hand over her mouth, While Vanya slowly sat down on the couch behind them eyes trained to one spot on the ground. He saw the realisation hit them all that Five could indeed be gone forever.

That afternoon after they had run into his room, he had gone into the station and put in that missing person report. He didn't want to risk something else that happened to Five getting mixed up with them thinking he just time traveled somewhere. Even though they were all guaranteed that he time traveled somewhere, the fact that he was already gone for a month made them all more on edge.

The fear that crept up on him causing his mouth to go dry and his hands to become clammy made him sick to his stomach everytime they found a young boy's body dumped somewhere. The anxiety would leave but the thought of Five still being out somewhere in time or even possibly locked away somewhere would bombard his mind. 

"I'm going out to look for Klaus, It's your guys choice to join me if you want." He walked out of the living room gathering his keys and coat before exiting the Academy.

Something hung in the air that he couldn't quite place his finger on but knew the feeling too well. The inability to take a deep breath, like everything kept moving around him but he was in a standstill. Or exactly the opposite, the world was moving too fast and he couldn't catch up. Lights sped by as well as different establishments. This sparked a feeling Diego hated and wanted to get rid of 

The city quickly became ingrained into his head like a language, every twist and turn felt automatic. Searching the streets for their youngest brother relentlessly tired him out the first day he was gone. The second day felt like he was denying everything and anything. In a way he wished he was still in the same year somewhere where he could be found. Diego wanted to find him and wanted to bring the small boy home. 

He continued to search and look past different bars or clubs of any kind. At this point he didn't know if he was looking for the séance or Five. He hopped down at several places, most being able to say if they had seen his brother and they automatically knew who he was talking about. Others he pulled up a picture of Klaus on his phone and showed bouncers or bartenders. In the end he got a no in return or reference of another bar or club to check.

The shut his car door and slipped into the leather seats pulling his seat belt across his chest. After the 5th bar and the 3rd club he still hadn't the faintest clue of where Klaus was. A part of him wanted to turn back around and go home knowing their brother might return in the morning. But the word 'might' scared him and forced himself to keep driving. 

The ringing of his phone startled him as he started to doze off at the wheel, accidentally swerving into the other lane. He pulled into the nearest rest stop and took his phone looking at the caller ID.

It was someone of not much importance that he didn't bother to spend the ten seconds to put it into his contacts. But enough that he recognized the seven digits that were displayed on his screen.

"Hello?" He answered the phone unsure if the voice on the other end would be familiar or it was his sleep deprived brain telling him that the digits in that order made sense.

"Oh Diego right? It's Matt the bartender from the bar your little brother comes to." 

Everything quickly clicks in his head as he switches his turn signal on, pulling out of where he stopped momentarily and into the turning lane.

"Yeah, Is he there?" Please let him be there.

"Not at the moment, he left a minute or two ago. But I can go grab him before he wanders too far or gets hurt." Even though this was just some bartender he could hear the slight worry in his tone for Klaus.

"Thank you, I'll be right there." The line ended abruptly on both ends but he didn't think about it, only trying to remember the way to the bar his brother frequented so very often.

[alexiethymia]

Five: I don’t play favorites with my siblings, but if I did, Vanya would be my favorite, and I’d be hers. 

Vanya: actually-

Five: What?

Vanya: Allison’s my favorite. Yay sisters?

Allison: Awwww, you’re my favorite too!

Luther: </3 :’( 

Klaus: *probably drunk and sloshing his glass* I object!

Diego: Don’t worry bro. If I was into that mushy stuff, you wouldn’t be my most hated. 

Klaus: Aww, thanks Antonio.

Five: *in a high-pitched voice* Fine. (It’s Allison, the only other one in the family with half a brain, so it’s fine) Second-favorite then. (Not that he cares or anything)

Vanya: Um..Ben.

Ben (in heaven): *does a fist pump* 

Five: (Ben is dead and did help her stop the third apocalypse, so that is fine, absolutely fiiiiiiine) *with grit teeth* I am at least - at least - your third favorite?

Vanya: Of course...tied with Klaus. 

Klaus: Awww Vanny, that is so sweet.

Five: *actually choking*

[tua-hottakes]

I’m sorry but I feel like vanya has the most white favoritism💀 five is a murderer, yeah, but he only kills when he feels like he has to, although I’m not saying it’s justified. Vanya was literally killing because she pissed😭 someone HONKED in front of her and and she killed them😭 and pogo😭(no hate to vanya tho, I like her)

Ok first things first: "only kills when he feels like he has to" ?? I feel like I have to kill about 10 times a day lmaoo, doesnt mean its ok to do it. Five murders intentionally, Vanya kills when she loses control. I think this is a significant difference to make, if entirely irrelevant to the issue of white favoritism.

//im sorry i kinda went off the answer to your ask is bolded under the line//

The way I understand the term white favoritism here (correct me if I’m wrong English is my second language) is the writers/producers or fans treating a white character better than they would a character of colour. We see it in white characters receiving more screentime, more complex and thought out storylines as well as better development both in canon and in fan works. We also see it, as others have pointed out, fan reactions such as Lila getting dragged for being a brown girl version of Five.

However, where fans are concerned, I think it gets a little more complex than “Person A doesnt like this poc character, but likes that white character, this is racism”. See, fandom likes to think they are gods that take canon and play with it as if it’s a piece of clay, but tua is an extremely well-crafted visual media, these characters have a lot to them, their presentation, the way they are written, and their development dictate the audience’s response. Most of the responsibility with avoiding something as subtle as white favoritism, imo, falls on the show’s creators; you cannot expect/rely on people having good enough analytical skills to recognise both the creators bias and /possibly/ their own.

Do you think that Robert Sheehan’s wardrobe choices are accidental? Or the fact that teenagers are in love with Aidan Gallagher? Both characters are designed to be attractive to certain demographics (LGBTQ+ community/ horny kids that dont have a one direction(those two do overlap)). The issue here isnt so much about which character does the worse thing and is forgiven by fandom. The issue comes down to the fact that fans are more willing to empathize with characters that are better written (to be likable) and better presented. Not nicer or more moral.

The whole Point of the show is that there aren’t objectively good or bad people, but if there were, all of the sibling would fall into the bad category. That’s why it’s a good show, it makes you empathize with people who do awful things. That being said, Vanya is a well-written character, but she’s literally the Big Bad of season 1 and a red herring big bad in s2. Shes way too central to the plot to not be given the required attention. But in terms of fan-reception ( and this is a very difficult to say for certain, as it’s impossible to measure) I have noticed that people tend to not care for her as much? When i say she’s a “smoll bean”, ya gotta notice the irony, I am fully aware she murdered people (although how much of that was her fault is up for a Very Long Discussion), she was by no means a likable character until s2 where she got to date Sissy (and i think this was also very intentional of the writers).

So, to get back to the point of your ask: Although there is always some racial bias behind every creative decision, I don't think shes that big of an example of favoritism on the side of the creators here, she needs to be a compelling character to perform her function, but at no point do i think, “man, Vanya is just so perfect, what a wonderful person, truly a model human being i want more of her and only her.” And this might just be my experience, but i haven't noticed her being much of a fan-favourite. In fact, I think she’s the second least liked character after Luther. People argue a lot about if she shoud be forgiven, she’s definitely not viewed in entirely positive light. The people who love her, mostly find the positives in her relationship with Sissy and the wlw representation. Which is a neat trick that Steve pulled, ngl, he got us there, he really knows his demographic(oh boy but thats another long topic right there). I don’t see much fan content about her on her own? Idk I could be wrong or too desensitized.

[marshofspades]

As much as I’m happy about us getting some amazing trans rep (from what I’ve heard from the reviews), I’m low-key pissed at the fandom and how they’ve been handling Viktor’s transition. I seem to have noticed a slight shift in the way people view Viktor, with a lot of people kind of infantilising him (did I use that word right 😭). A lot of people are starting to say stuff like “Omg he’s like the youngest sibling” which I get are meant as harmless jokes/comments, but I would like to remind you guys that Viktor is still a 30 year old, and Elliot Page (the actor who plays Viktor) is 35….

I get why some of you guys say that, since it’s really common for transmasc people to look younger because they usually have slightly more feminine features, HOWEVER this still doesn’t excuse it. Please treat transmasc people a little bit normally, cause I can gaurentee none of you guys would’ve said this about s1-s2 Viktor (who was known as Vanya at the time if you haven’t watched TUA which I’m assuming you have lol) no one would’ve been saying “omg Vanya is like the younger sister of the group” (also may I add that Klaus also exists, and if you really had to assign anyone as the “youngest sibling” KLAUS IS RIGHT THERE? HE LITERALLY HAS SO MUCH YOUNGER SIBLING ENERGY ISTG)

TL:DR : People infantilise (again, not sure if I’m using that right 💀) Viktor ever since it was revealed he was gonna come out as trans and it’s not a coincidence

[har-grief]

Preferences ~ They see you cry

Luther (Number 1)

- He would be the most concerned man ever.

- He'd hug you close to his chest, not saying anything, but just letting you cry it all out.

- He's not much for words at times like this, so he'll show how much he cares in other ways. Making you coffee, playing your favorite movie, things like that.

- He wouldn't force you to divulge what made you cry, but if you choose to vent, he'll be a great listener.

Diego (Number 2)

- Diego would take one look at you and be ready to kill a bitch.

- The first thing he would do though, would be to crouch down in front of you and wipe your tears away gently, while asking who or what made you cry.

- If it's a person that's made you this upset, Diego would definitely track them down and have a nice chat with them...

- After that, he'd come home to you and you two would spend the day cuddling in bed.

Allison (Number 3)

- Allison would make such a fuss out of you. Get ready for her to go into full mom mode.

- When she first sees you crying, she coaxes you into bed and will climb in after you.

- It's then that she listens to what happened. She'll be very patient and coo and gasp and comment at all the appropriate places.

- You'll probably fall asleep after that from the motion of her hands weaving through your hair.

- When you wake up, she'll be right there with lots of your favorite snacks and candies to cheer you up.

Klaus (Number 4)

- When Klaus sees you crying, his heart cracks.

- He'll ask you what happened, and then gently cradle you in his arms, all while pressing sweet kisses on the top of your head.

- Will definitely tell you lots of jokes in an attempt to get you to laugh, it always works.

- He tries to distract you by telling you about his day. Maybe something stupid Ben did.

- He may try to get you drunk, because he knows that at the very least, you'll be happier. Much to Ben's disapproval, if he's around

- He will not leave your side until he is 100% certain that you are okay.

Five (Number 5)

- When Five sees you cry, the first emotions he feels are a mixture of concern and rage.

- Concern for you, his sweet, precious darling.

- Rage towards whoever or whatever made you cry.

- He will seriously not hesitate to murder if he discovers that somebody harmed (or tried to harm) you.

- Will most definitely make you a margarita.

Ben (Number 6)

- You are Ben's world, and when he sees you as a sobbing mess, his world shatters.

- He clutches you tightly to his chest, and whispers words of comfort in your ear.

- He will not ask you to tell him what happened, but you do it anyway. All the while, he will be a polite listener, not interrupting you, but trailing lazy patterns on your skin as he hums.

- He will mother hen you after your vent. He'll make your favorite food, and you will binge watch your comfort show while cuddled up on the couch.

Vanya (Number 7)

- First thing Vanya will do is confirm you are okay, and not physically hurt.

- Then she asks if you need any space and if she should leave you alone. You almost never ask her to do this.

- She is more than happy to cradle your head in her lap and wipe away your tears as you talk to her. She'll talk back, and make you feel at ease.

- She'll probably run you a bubble bath to relax you, because I feel like that's a very Vanya thing to do.

- After your bath, you'll sleep like a rock, and she'll spoon you the whole time.

[messers-moony]

Mine | F.H

Paring: Five Hargreeves X Fem!Reader

Summary: Five pushes himself to the limit.

Prompt: Feeling their temperature

At times stress can be so deafening that it repels back. It takes over your body and shuts it down as a sign to stop. Most people would stop at the first signs. Five Hargreeves is not most people. He pushes himself to his very limit - until his body completely shuts down and leaves him with nothing. Multiple people noticed his body, giving him red flags of its nearby closure, but he denied them.

Allison saw the incapability to keep his hands steady. Diego noticed his clothes getting messier and tousled - at first, he thought it was because of his girlfriend - turns out it wasn’t. Vanya observed the lost look in his forest-green eyes. Luther noticed his excessive fidgeting. Klaus began to see him secluding himself back into his room. Y/n noticed everything.

Five’s brown hair became greasy and matted. Eyes dull and lack of any shine. Hands shaking and unable to keep still. Pencils not following his hand's movements because of his repeated shaking. Clothes were thrown all over the bedroom. Chalk covered the pale green walls - bed unmade. Coffee mugs going unwashed. Papers askew throughout the room. Manilla folders scattered on the dresser. Blazer no longer being worn, and instead, Five wore his shorts with a white button-up, occasionally a tie.

He loved to push it, didn’t he? Not listening until one day, he collapsed. Practically fainting while staring at his walls full of equations. The siblings and Y/n downstairs until one of them heard a clatter from upstairs. They shared a look of concern. Y/n placed a bookmark in her book, standing up and setting her book on the side table.

Y/n sighed, “Well, I should go see if that was Five.”

They nodded in response. Quickly Y/n made her way up the large stairs. Eventually, she made it outside Five’s door. Knocking on it gently, she called to him and got no response. Taking that as an okay to open the door, she found Five laying on the floor - sleeping?

Y/n scoffed, “You love to push it. You’re gonna kill yourself like this, babe.”

Carefully she lifted his body to the bed. Y/n placed the blankets over him. Five’s face was blossoming with a magenta color. Y/n took the back of her hand, placing it over his forehead. His temperature was high. Five had a fever because he couldn’t take a break. It killed her to see him like this, but karmas had its way. Leaning down, holding her hair back, she kissed his forehead before laying beside him.

Hours later, Five woke, his body curled around someone’s leg as they sat with their back against the headboard. He felt nauseous and groggy. Sweat began to pile at his hairline, and it was rolling down his back. Nosing the person's thigh, he tried to get closer. They reached their hand down to his hair and began to scratch his scalp. A noise - one that could only be described as a purr - erupted from his throat.

“How do you feel, love?” Y/n asked softly.

“How did I end up here?”

“You fainted.”

Five glared up at her, “I’m not joking. I was downstairs with everyone else until we heard a clatter. I came to check up on you, and you were on the floor.” Y/n defended, putting her hands up making Five whine at the absence of her hand in his hair.

“Am I dying?”

Y/n chuckled, scratching his scalp once more, “No, you’re sick.”

“How am I sick?” Five retorted bitterly, “You got too stressed.” Y/n answered.

Five narrowed his eyes at her, “Too much stress weakens your immune system, therefore making you more conscious of catching a cold. Which you indeed caught.” Y/n explained softly as Five laid his hot cheek on her thigh.

“My nurse.”

She snorted, “Might as well be.”

Five fell asleep moments later, hoping to sleep it off. Her hand in his hair felt heavenly. It had been so many days of no affection being in her presence felt so calming. It was slowing his heartbeat into a steady beat instead of his racing. His breathing was turning even - a symptom of falling asleep soon. For once in the past week, he felt at peace curled around his girlfriend. Knowing that he could let down his guard and feel safe. Softly Five left a kiss on the top of her thigh before falling asleep completely.

The following morning Five woke up to an empty bed. It left him pouting. Minutes past and Y/n walked into the bedroom with a tray. Groaning Five pulled himself into a sitting position, back against the headboard as he watched his personal angel. Y/n smiled at him, possibly making his fever worse.

Y/n looked beautiful. Golden rays from the sun reached her body, making her look ethereal. Her hair was ruffled, and her eyes still not fully awake. Clothes askew, but god, did she look beautiful. Her e/c eyes may not be fully awake, but they sparkled in the golden glow. Full of life, love, and adoration for him. That’s what made his throat swell. Y/n was his, all his.

Lightly Y/n placed the tray on top of the bed. Five saw breakfast placed on it along with two mugs of coffee and a tiny cup of pink liquid. Quickly Five’s hand gravitated towards the dark brown liquid, but Y/n moved his hand away with a small smile. Instead, she handed him the little cup with pink liquid. Five took it and smelt it cautiously - it made him grimace.

“It’s supposed to make you feel better.” Y/n stated, cupping his cheek and kissing his forehead.

“It smells gross.” Five replied childishly.

Y/n smiled sympathetically, “I know, my love, but it’ll make you feel better.”

He looked at her and then the cup repeatedly. Eventually, he took the liquid like a shot. Five reached hastily for the coffee, and this time Y/n didn’t stop him. She took her place beside him and placed a kiss on his temple. Five set the coffee cup back on the tray and leaned against her shoulder, picking at the food she brought upstairs.

“Thank you.” Five said suddenly, “For what?” Y/n questioned, kissing the top of his head.

“Taking care of me.” Five answered, kissing her shoulder and playing his temple back on it, “You’re mine to love and mine to take care of.” Y/n stated, making Five’s face light aflame.

Oh, he was so going to marry her.