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crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer · 5 years ago

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Love Never Dies is not the fix-it fic I was expecting

Recently, I found out there was a sequel movie to that 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie with Gerard Butler in it. And since I’ve been on a Phantom kick... I watched it.

It's called Love Never Dies and it basically reads like someone's "fix-it fic" where Raoul turns out to be an abusive gambling drunk and Christine actually DID have sex with the Phantom once and WHOOPS the son Raoul thinks is his own is ACTUALLY the Phantom's son and in the end she fucking dies, so her dying wish is for Phantom to raise the boy.... and I guess kiss her corpse one last time because That Happened....

ALSO ABOUT 30 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE PHANTOM AND CHRISTINE START SINGING ABOUT HAVING SEX, SO I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW AND BE PREPARED FOR THAT BECAUSE IT IS BOTH HILARIOUS AND EXTREMELY AWKWARD.

Seriously, I had to keep pausing the movie to laugh because I swear they started having sex with their voices by the end of the duet. My major question after all that is... when did they actually HAVE time to do the devil's tango during the first movie? Like... at what point exactly did this take place? What did I miss? XD

Bearing all that in mind, I’m going to take anyone interested in this on a little adventure through the highlights of this movie. Because I already essentially live blogged this to several people as I was going through it and I feel like it’s worth sharing.

There is a plot twist at the end of this “fix-it” - trust me it’s worth it, please keep reading you’re in for a treat~

~.~

WELL ANYWAY THIS IS THE LOOK ON PHANTOM'S FACE WHEN HE REALIZES FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT CHRISTINE HAS A SON

This, mind you, is directly after the scene in which they've just sung a duet about how they bonked each other way back when.....

Like... they literally transition from "GRAPHIC VOICE FUCKING" to "Sing for me again, Christine! I'll pay you double what you were offered by that Hammerstein fellow!" to "OH HEY LOOK A CHILD!" asdhklf

That's not the face of a man who's like "OH SHIT I HAVE A SON"

That is the face of a man who's like "OH SHIT MY RIVAL GOT MY CRUSH PREGNANT, NOW I HAVE TO KILL THE BOY" because he hasn't fucking figured it out yet and I'm cackling this is awful.

Flash forward a few short scenes and

THIS!!! THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO JUST REALIZED "OH SHIT THIS IS MY SON!"

"this boy... this music... he plays... just like me" he figured it out... because... the kid plays piano.... I just

Breaking News: latent piano talent is hereditary Amazing XD

Meanwhile, the kid’s just:

"uh, dude? you okay over there?"

Also, I feel like I have to mention that Phantom's hair is all sleek and black and full right up until he discovers he has a son, decides to test him to see if this boy could truly be his.... and then takes off his mask to the sound of his son SCREECHING BLOODY MURDER BECAUSE APPARENTLY ACTUAL DEFORMED HUMANS IN GLASS CAGES ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT A BUBBLE SUNBURN SCAR FACE IS THE MOST HIDEOUS THING THIS CHILD HAS EVER SEEN WITH HIS 10-YEAR-OLD EYES.... and that's evidently enough to make Phantom's hair go thin and grey and start falling out of his head because he looks like he's Been Through Some Shit right after that.

Poor dude can only take so much rejection, it seems. That child aged him by at least 50 years all in the span of a few minutes.

Meanwhile, I'm still vexxed by the fact that the Phantom in this movie is somehow still convinced his non-birth deformity couldn't possibly NOT be genetically passed on to his child.... because it's... you know... not a genetic deformity in the Phantom cinematic universe of these two movies unlike in the original source material...

His bubble sunburn scar face was obtained through abuse he received while being caged for a freak show since his childhood... so why is he somehow convinced that it's impossible for his offspring to be born without a deformity? I mean, I get what the movie is trying to go for with his initial denial that he could produce something so beautiful... considering he has internalized the idea that his outward appearance is ugly, he could never be beautiful, and it's the reason for his loneliness... but I'm just too distracted by this discrepancy.

I mean...

Movie Phantom: *is surprised non-genetic deformity isn't hereditary* Also Movie Phantom: *thinks latent musical talent/interest is hereditary*

Aah, yes. It all makes sense now. Everything is genetic but actual genetics itself. How foolish of me. XD

~.~

And then the second half of this movie is really something.....

16 minutes in to the second act and Raoul has gambled his wife away because he was drunk and Phantom saw the perfect opportunity to swoop in and hit him in his "manly pride spot"

Phantom, out here in full fuckboy mode: "Alright, Raoul, let's settle this once and for all, you drunken bastard. How about we take a gamble?"

Raoul: "Dammit, you know I can't resist a gamble!"

Phantom: "If Christine does the singing gig she's being paid to do, it means she loves me and you have to disappear forever! But if she decides to drop her career for some reason, it means she loves you and I'll leave you alone."

Raoul: "Sounds perfectly reasonable to me! So, I'm going to charge right into her dressing room 10 minutes before she's due to sing and then beg her to drop her entire career for me without informing her of this stupid bet we've just made! That'll totally win her heart and not come back to bite me in a classic misunderstanding at all!"

Phantom: "Excellent, you stupid boy! You go do that!"

Phantom then proceeds to convince Christine that Raoul is a selfish bastard who wants to hold her back from reaching her potential like the shitty sexist husbands of the time.

Raoul:

~.~

Now it's the end of the movie, Christine is dead, their son is sadly laying in her lap.... and Raoul just arrived on the scene, so Phantom lifts his hand off the boy's head after trying to have A Moment and does THIS

I don't even know what this face is, but I fucking love it. Ben Lewis’ facial expressions make this whole movie, to be honest. XD

Phantom literally just.... doesn't know what to do with his hands. He just removes himself from the scene, hands Raoul back his dead wife like "okay, here's your family back, sorry I got involved" and then cries at the ocean for a while asdhklf

Then the son goes up to the Phantom, hugs him, takes his mask off and DOESN'T SCREAM IN TERROR THIS TIME.... because he finally accepted this man as his birth father and understands that beauty comes from within and all that jazz.

So, what I got out of this ending here..... is that Christine is dead...... and Raoul and Phantom are finally going to put aside their differences to raise their son (now that their mutual love interest is out of the picture). And now I'm kind of wondering if.... this "fix-it fic" actually had a different ship in mind the entire time and they just really needed to find a feasible way to get Phantom's DNA into the mix. XD

So, in conclusion, my only question is this: Where is the sequel to THIS movie, Andrew Lloyd Webber?! Where is my sequel where Raoul and Phantom have to share the domestic responsibilities of raising their son together???!!!?!? WHERE IS IT, YOU COWARD GIVE ME MY SEQUEL WHERE THESE TWO AWFUL MEN HAVE TO REFORM THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILD AND A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE! YOU BUTCHERED THEM, SO NOW YOU HAVE TO FIX THEM! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

#Phantom of the Opera #Love Never Dies #random thought #if Tumblr flags this because of my swearing I really really hope someone has to sit down and read this post with their own human eyes #validate my suffering please XD #the character assassinations in this sequel were horrible they all deserved so much better than this

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rikusoma · 2 years ago

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This is in no way a hate ask- it's just kinda good to talk about it lol

I think a lot of the times another ship's fandom interacts with bkdks, it's always to be angry at us for "stealing moments" and not only is this confusing, but also??? Stealing how and what moment. But then i realized the moments they're talking about were either moments that went for bkdk or that had a connection to them in some way.

Ex: the kr///bk hand holding at Kamino, they didn't like the way we were talking of Deku and his insecurity over Bakugou taking his hand, or how Kirishima said that out of all the people in the room he was the one suffering the most. They really didn't like that.

(I dislike the kr//bk ship simply because of how some of the shippers are, but also, I understand the appeal of the ship. Please understand that this isn’t an anti kr//bk post, this is more plot and relationship analysis) So, I can kind of understand this, and I sympathize with it. They ship something and they want canon content, not just fics and fanart.

But then they get a crumb of something that makes them happy and then realize the purpose of it was something entirely different, and they see it as taking away the importance of something they latched on to (cause a moment only matters if it specifically furthers a ship, right?). When Kirishima was the one to reach out to Bakugou, it really was a great moment of showing that there was that level of trust and that Kirishima didn't threaten Bakugou's pride. But THE POINT of that moment, confirmed by Hori himself, was to showcase the pain of Deku deciding to pass up the chance to reach out to Bakugou himself, because at that point, either Bakugou wouldn't accept it (which would put him in more danger) or he would but it would push him even further away cause of his hurt pride. And chances are it would've been the first.

Deku gave up something his desperately wanted to ensure Bakugou's safety and it's very obvious that it's a painful moment for him. It wasn't a kr//bk moment like it seemed to have been at first and that kind of baiting is bound to make some people upset, and their feelings are valid. But they need to deal with those feelings and accept that their ship just doesn't have any chance at being canon. And that's ok! Your ship doesn't need to have canon evidence to be a valid one, even crackships deserve respect.

It just gets me when these people who ship something that has absolutely no canon evidence turn around on bkdk shippers and tell us we shouldn't ship it cause it's not gonna happen, as if kr//bk has any chance at all. And for some reason, some of them think jumping onto the post of another ship to try and debunk it is somehow going to give them the content and ending they want, as if the shippers who scream the loudest are heard by the author (Hori has been setting up bkdk since chapter 1, episode 1, literally the beginning. Bkdk wasn't a choice he made later cause he saw that people were shipping them and wanted to pander, and I reeeeeally need some people to get that through their heads.).

Shippers need to learn to respect other ships in general. I really don't want to make this any longer, but it makes me think of how this how ship war parallels the pumpkin spice latte discourse XD if you want to hear my thoughts on that, just let me know.

#bkdk #bakudeku #antis #bakugou #deku #kirishima #anon answer #anonymous #pumpkin spice latte mention

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fairestwriting · 4 years ago

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Omg! Can I request an hc with floyd, jade, idia, malleus and riddle when their s/o plays too much otome games? XD like she's gushing about the otoge boys too much lmao. Thank you and have a good day 💘

shes so valid for that tbh. thank YOU for the rq i hope you have a good day too!!

+ ko-fi link, if anyone feels like financially supporting my writing

Floyd Leech

When you mention one of your favorite boys for the first time, he thinks you’re talking about like... an actual person. He goes dull eyed and his voice drops, asking you who the hell that person was.

You hurriedly explain that it’s just a game character! And Floyd goes back to normal, though he isn’t really pleased about it. Why are you playing games about dating pretty boys? You don’t have to do that, you already have him!

When he sees you playing them, he wraps his arms around you and pouts, whining about how his Shrimpy’s giving all her attention to these cartoon boys while your very real boyfriend’s right there.

Jade Leech

Also kind of jealous about it, but in a much more discreet way than Floyd.

He outwardly treats it like any other of your interests, asking you questions about it and gladly listening to you talk about it. He’s happy that you’re having fun! Though, if you need any attention, you should go to him -- But well, he won’t say that.

Lets you have your fun, mostly. Yet everytime you’re playing or talking about it, Jade gets noticeably touchier, prone to pulling you close to him and staring at you with that vague smile as you’re busy with either gushing or gaming...

Idia Shroud

Oh, he understands you so deeply.

Idia probably plays otome games himself. They’re not his favorite genre, but he can’t resist a good one from time to time... he probably was hooked on Mystic Messenger when it came out.

He’ll be willing to try out the games you’ve been playing lately, also. You guys can suffer together.

Listens to your rambles, then rambles back if he knows the game. He always has a favorite character too.

Malleus Draconia

Canonically does not understand technology so I’m guessing this extends to otome games.

It takes him a bit to understand even the concept, but once he does, he doesn’t really mind it. He thinks it’s cute how you get so excited about your games. He listens to your gushing with a smile on his face.

Probably asks to try one of the games at least once, but that’ll be a mess. You have to be by his side, walking him through everything, and it’s still unlikely he’ll get the game’s mechanics, which he will sulk about for a bit.

Riddle Rosehearts

Doesn’t get the appeal of them, really. What’s so good about fictional men?

He’s not exactly jealous, but he feels a little weird about it. He’ll listen to you talk about your interests, sure, he cares about what makes you happy, but hey, your boyfriend is right here, you don’t need to talk about how you wish this one cartoon man would hold you. Riddle can do that.

He’ll let you have your fun, even if he doesn’t understand it -- If it’s distracting you and keeping you from completing your school duties, though, you bet you’ll earn one of these Riddle scoldings you’re probably already familiar with.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst x reader #floyd leech #jade leech #idia shroud #malleus draconia #riddle rosehearts #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #lis writing

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friezagirl · 3 years ago

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So, so… Let's talk about Jake in the last episode. :3 Frankly, the first time he appears in the sixth episode is to protect, as always, the system. Marc is in danger, he suffers from Ammit's magic stick, Steven can't do much more and then they see that Layla is also at gunpoint. In short, here is a chaotic, stressful, heavy, agitated and dangerous situation; so Jake had every reason to lash out at everyone and kill them. He remains in the violent character even though he always does it only to protect the system and to save Layla and, in this case, the world, that's it. Instead, much more difficult to frame is the post credit scene, both because not much is explained to us and because things are shown to us in a mysterious way. We see Jake take Harrow and head outside, he's the aggressive type so he kicks the wheelchair, so far so good, the problem is I can't understand why he killed the nurses and the guards. The only reason I can think of is that maybe they were Harrow's followers, maybe they were just there to get their leader back; because if this were not the case it means that he killed innocent people for no valid reason other than just because they didn't let him through. I don't even understand why the nurse allowed Jake to leave with a patient without making sure everything was okay, but okay, good for Jake that he can be so amalient (?), ahahahah. Maybe she thought he was a relative, but boh. Oh, maybe, actually, since they'd let him in anyway and no other doctor or nurse seemed to object to it, she too decided it was okay. After all it's a psychiatric hospital and they don't let everyone in without a reason, so the nurse must have understood that it was a family member, also because it was always Marc or Steven who brought Harrow to that place, so they had already seen him. Now, instead, speaking of the limousine, it's a nice quote to the comics, as well as Khonshu who has an elegant dress, but he put me a couple of doubts: in the comics, it's Steven the rich one, playboy and all Bruce Wayne style with a Alfred butler, etc; even if the plaque shows the surname Spector there too in the comics; but, I mean, why does Jake have a limo? If he has the plaque with Marc's last name and Marc knows nothing about it, it means it belongs to Jake, so is Jake rich? XD I realized it's a comic book quote, I really appreciated it, not to mention Jake's confirmation that he literally made me scream with joy, but I also want to understand the meaning of the scene, hahaha. Jake only drives a taxi, he likes to be discreet, not to be noticed because he takes information, but if he now he has a limo he means that he does a different job, right? I'm curious, please, give me a second season, a third, a fifth, a trilogy of films… Everything.

Oh right, I was digressing too much and forgetting the main point of the scene that I appreciated because of the meaning I decided to give it, which is Jake killing Harrow the same way they were killed by him. Two gunshots straight into his chest, and so I see it as a clear symbolism where Jake wants to avenge Marc and Steven; Harrow made all three suffer, with those two gunshots he was aiming at Marc and Steven, so Jake felt right to give them back. In my opinion, Jake must have felt all the pain that Steven and Marc had to go through in death reliving all the memories again, and then Steven ended up in the Duat, and then they came back and all, but they suffered, they had to relive again all their psychological pains, and Jake sure must have watched as aloof and not physically present. Jake must not have appreciated, either for himself or seeing his alters suffer again. They are a system, even if we didn't see Jake, he was there, because I mean, only Marc and Steven went through the gates of Osiris, but despite this Jake went with them, so he must have witnessed all of theirs torments as they saw the memories. And Jake blamed, of course, on Harrow, because he was the one who had brought them all to that place. Of course, it was a psychological journey that helped Marc deal with pain, accept it and overcome it, same thing for Steven, who also discovered and faced reality. But Jake's in charge of protecting them, in my opinion he's a self-imposed task, huh. He lets them live their lives, he doesn't intrude, he doesn't talk to them, he's like their guardian angel; he only intervenes by order of Khonshu and to help his alters. So he decided to take his revenge for them by killing Harrow. I reiterate that I would really like to know more about his story about him, about what he must have gone through, and when he appeared. In the comics Jake came right after Steven, so it must have been because his mother beat Marc too much and couldn't take him anymore, so, without knowing it, he created an alter who could handle him. Sad. :C

Beyond all this then, the most obvious reason is precisely that Harrow killed them, and Jake has to protect the system, he has to help them, must take revenge, so, in my opinion, it was more a personal motive of Jake rather than Khonshu, even if the two things crossed each other. By this I mean, then, that if it wasn't because Jake wanted revenge, I doubt he would have killed him. And it's just a hypothesis of course, knowing the Jake of the comics at least. I want to clarify that I am speaking like this, giving a sense to the scene but from my knowledge of comics where I was able to read and understand Jake's thoughts and motivations, my knowledge of DID is not much, I just read wikipedia and saw some videos of people who have it and who explain it but I'm not an expert at all. In this post, as in the others where I talked about Jack, I have discussed just trying to make sense of Jake's behaviors, right now I'm not referring to their disorder, okay? I'm just analyzing the character. If I have said wrong things I apologize and I will be happy to read any answers and explanations about it. :3 Lastly, I find it interesting that each of them can speak two different languages: Marc can speak Arabic and American, Jake can speak American and Spanish, and Steven can speak English and French, as well as to the Egyptian hieroglyphs. Nice, really cool, I wonder how and where Jack learned that language. And I hope I have explained it all decently, I don't wish it had been chaotic.

#Moon Knight #Spoiler #Jake Lockley #Steven Grant #Marc Spector #Khonshu

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jessamine-rose · 4 years ago

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Sebek Zigvolt’s Fae-Human Identity and Why He Deserves All the Love in the World

Author’s note:: It is I, Jessamine, back with another simp essay--this time, for Sebek Zigvolt!! But unlike the Leona post I wrote for EBG, this is an actual analysis of Sebek’s character following the recent Pomefiore update. The casual info drop about his half-human ancestry ended up explaining a lot of preexisting lore around our lovable Diasomnia bby, and I plan to list down all of those connections I’d made in the past three hours!! To all of the Sebek simps and Twst writers, I hope you all enjoy reading my messy (over)analysis ヽ(｀Д´)ノ

♡ 1.1k words under the cut ♡

♡ Sebek is half-fae and half-human - As soon as Silver brought that up, a lot of Sebek stans started crying on Twitter. I mean, think about it--can you imagine what kind of identity crisis our cucumber bby must be going through?? In the world of Twisted Wonderland, Sebek is a mixed-species character who has presumably rejected his human ancestry yet still suffers a disconnection from his fae identity. His ancestors are split between two different species, and Sebek can’t fully identify as either despite having the blood of both. Sure, he’s probably more in touch with his fae side and family since he lives in the Valley of Thorns--but he can’t call himself a pure-blooded fae, much less a human ;-;

♡ Sebek’s perception of humans - Okie, we all know that Sebek is harsh with humans, especially if it concerns Malleus. That’s why his half-human identity is so important because if you think about it...when Sebek looks down on humans, is he actually projecting his hatred towards his own humanity?? Maybe that’s why he acts more fae than human--because he doesn’t want to directly admit his perceived inferiority or his fragmented sense of identity :0

♡ Sebek’s identity as Malleus’s retainer - Sebek‘s character practically revolves around his wakasama, to the point that he’s even known as “The Ardent Draconian” in Night Raven College. His grandfather had probably contributed to his admiration for Malleus, but there could be a more personal reason as to why Sebek values his role as a retainer so much:: When Sebek becomes a full-time guard for Malleus, he will finally have an identity which he can take pride and comfort in. He won’t be known as a fae-human hybrid but as an honored knight of Malleus（��ﾟДﾟ）

♡ Sebek’s need for praise and validation - I’ve already explained why Sebek is so devoted to his role as a retainer of Malleus. But this is going to be a separate point because the third point is already pretty long sksksksk xD Okie, we all know that Sebek seeks praise from Malleus and Lilia. His Alchemy Lessons even feature this important voiceline--Please praise me. Why is he so weak to praise?? I believe that the reason for this is because Sebek’s main source of validation is the acknowledgement of his efforts. He won’t be praised for being a fae or a human--and he probably wouldn’t be happy if anyone acknowledged that--but he can be proud of his hard work and his subsequent individual achievements ╥﹏╥

♡ Sebek has a history with Silver and Lilia - We don’t know much about their past, but we do know that the Valley of Thorns is a land of fairies and magic. But Silver and Lilia are unique in the sense that they have deep connections to humans. In an environment where he doesn’t fit in and has less magic capability than the fae, Sebek probably felt a sense of kinship with a human like Silver. Could that be the reason why they grew up together?? What I do know is that Lilia didn’t take in Sebek just so that Silver would have a childhood friend. He likely did it because Sebek is the living embodiment of Lilia’s greatest wish. In Dance and Wishes, Lilia wishes for the different species in Twisted Wonderland, particularly the fairies and humans, to live in harmony. Those two species are still at war in Sebek’s identity, but his birth originated from peace <3

♡ Sebek calls everyone by their species - One thing I’d like to clarify about Sebek is the fact that he addresses almost everyone by the name of their species. The clearest example is “ningen” for all humans and “neko” for Lucius. But Sebek...can’t do the same for himself. He can’t call himself a fae nor a human because he is a mix of both. As of now, Sebek is the only mixed-species character in Twisted Wonderland, and his speech mannerisms are another allusion to that ٩(× ×)۶

♡ Sebek’s hobby is reading - It’s ironic that an extremely loud character has such a quiet hobby. While we still lack much Sebek lore, we do know that he has an affinity for literature and that he has a problem looking for subjective answers in Art. So how do those two character traits exist simultaneously?? My headcanon is that Sebek likes reading because it helps him understand the languages and feelings of the two species he belongs to. Literature places you in the perspective of another person, and reading qualifies as a method for Sebek to feel closer to his own two species (°◇°)

♡ Sebek’s favorite food is salmon carpaccio - Am I the only one who was introduced to salmon carpaccio by Sebek?? At first, I assumed that it was his favorite food because salmon is part of French cuisine and Disney’s Sleeping Beauty was set in France. But after the new update, it finally clicked--salmon is an anadromous fish which can survive in both freshwater and saltwater. Furthermore, no matter the long distance, the salmon is able to navigate its way back to the stream it was born in. If I were to connect the dots, Sebek (the salmon) has assimilated into the Valley of Thorns (the sea) but in the end, he needs to remember his human roots (the stream) (ºΔº)

♡ Sebek’s least favorite food is black coffee - Here’s another sh*tty analogy!! Sebek’s favorite food is pretty sophisticated, but he lacks the same sentiments for black coffee. I originally thought he disliked it simply because he’s still bby, but now?? Black coffee is just coffee without milk, sugar, or any additives. Since Sebek is mixed-species, his beverage counterpart could never be black coffee, because he is neither a pure fae nor a pure human. And if the illogical superiority assigned to black coffee drinkers has any additional significance to his character…SEBEK I LOVE YOU PLS DON’T FEEL SAD ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY (ಥ﹏ಥ)

♡

Okie, that’s all I can say for now!! Those Sebek crumbs rlly turned out to be a vital piece of information about our precious bby and I hope that Yana-sensei sheds more light on this in future stories. What I can personally say about Sebek’s fae-human identity is that…it hit me on a personal level. Sebek is a character whom we can’t understand as of now, but his fragmented sense of identity and heritage is something which some players can sympathize with. We don’t know yet if Sebek is truly burdened by his mixed-species identity but there is a struggle and it has explained a lot about his character. And that mutual pain was what upgraded my love for Sebek from a cute cinnamon roll to a comfort character whom I ended up crying over. I hope my analysis actually made sense to all of you, and let’s keep showering Sebek with the love and validation he needs!! ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

Tag a Sebek simp!! @twsted-caramel @momochiiiiiiiiii @ji-yaaan @lys-hazuki @twistedwonderlxnd @mobagehelllocal

#sebek zigvolt #twisted wonderland sebek #twst sebek #twisted wonderland #disney twst #SEBEK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU #jessamine-writing

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 years ago

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Wedding Day Memories

Words: 5090

Betaed by: @shinobimagpie who helped me every step of the way and supported me in making this ridiculous monster fic, even giving me some ideas I would not have thought of on my own. I adore you <3 <3 <3

for: @strangeinternetwasteland who requested an Everyone lives AU with Kakashi and Gai announcing their marriage or getting married and gets a 5000 word fic cuz my brain went OFF with excitement XD

A celebration of their union with all of their friends present to share in their joy. Not a handful of friends, or a carefully selected list of their closest friends. All of them. No matter how annoying or embarrassing they were, they would be invited. That was Gai’s one request when Kakashi finally gathered up the courage to get down on one knee and propose to him. A request Kakashi had happily agreed to at the time, but now that their wedding day was here he was beginning to regret it.

“Did we have to invite-”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t even let me finish. You have no idea who I was going to ask about.”

Stabbing his fork into Kakashi’s slice of cake, Gai sat back in his seat with a triumphant grin and some extra cake to enjoy. “Regardless of which name you said, the answer would still be yes,” plopping the cake into his mouth, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sweetness that had made Kakashi cringe. “Also, Obito is setting up a video for us. I think it’s obvious who you’re talking about right now.”

A valid point. It was hard to be upset with anyone else while Obito was smiling like a fool talking about his ‘epic gift’. All of that plus the video projector he brought out could only mean one thing.

Danger.

“If I wanted to deal with embarrassing shenanigans I would have let my dad plan the wedding,” there was no one in the world more embarrassing than his father. Obito wasn’t far behind in the running, but he had a long way to go before reaching ‘dorky dad’ levels of embarrassment. Maybe if he and RIn ever had a child he would finally rise in the ranks, but until then he was only the third most embarrassing person in Kakashi’s life.

“At least he’s trying,” Gai offered a pittance of comfort past a mouthful of more of Kakashi’s cake. “He could just be sulking in a corner.”

“Rin would never allow him to sulk at a party,” sliding his plate over to Gai, he cracked a smile when his boyfriend immediately dug in without restraint.

No, not boyfriend. Husband.

It was official now. They were married and nothing could take his joy over that fact away. Not even Obito and whatever terrible plans he had up his sleeve.

“Alright!” With the setup finally complete, Obito turned towards them with a blinding smile stretched across his face. A sure-fire sign he was up to no good. “Ready?”

“No,” Gai elbowed him in the side. “I mean, go ahead.”

Whatever suffering awaited him, he would have to sit through it with a smile. A small price to pay for the honour of marrying Maito Gai.

Feeling a hand settling over his, Kakashi glanced down at the table to see Gai’s hand there offering silent support in his time of need. “And, go!” Obito shouted as the crowd cheered behind him. With a worrisome clank and a very long pause, the video sprang to life on the projector screen.

Obito and Rin standing in front of the Dango shop, a stick of Dango in their hands and a face-splitting grin on Obito’s face.

“Congratulations, Kakashi!” Obito holds his treat out in front of him as if he were making a toast. “I Didn’t know you had it in you to last this long.” he yelps when Rin pressed a hand against the back of his head and pushed him down.

“Ignore him,” she beamed directly into the camera, acting as if Obito wasn’t currently struggling against the weight she was applying to the back of his head. “Congratulations you two. Don’t forget to make time for yourselves and please try not to break the wedding hall with whatever competition you inevitably do to prove your love for each other!”

Leaning into Gai’s personal space, Kakashi grinned when his husband dared to look his way. “Rin said-”

“And Rin tells you what to do now?” there’s judgement in his gaze. “I thought I was marrying a brave man. The courageous Hatake Kakashi, who stands up and faces all challenges.”

“You misunderstood,” Kakashi fires back. “I’m not suggesting we listen. I think the next video would be a lot more interesting if we watched it while we were doing handstands on the table.”

Gai’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “First one to fall loses?”

“Deal.”

The room erupted into a chorus of groans when the two moved everything off to the side and clambered on top of the table. Only Naruto and Lee stood out among the rest, chewing when the newlyweds flipped themselves into a handstand.

“This is exactly what I said not to do,” Rin complained in the background, groaning when Kakashi manoeuvred himself so that he could still see the video and gave her a wink. “Why are you two like this?”

Obito simply offered her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and waited for the two of them to get comfortable in their new position, continuing the video as soon as the grooms were ready

Iruka is sitting on a stool in front of the bar at Ichiraku. A steaming bowl of ramen is placed in front of him by Ayame, who waves at the camera before disappearing, and Iruka looks at the camera with what appears to be a bit of a forced smile on his face.

“Congratulations,” he lifts a glass towards the camera. “Must be nice, huh Kakashi? Having the hottest guy in all of Konoha?” The next words are mumbled, too quiet for the camera mic to catch. “Anyways,” with renewed energy, he straightens himself up. “Don’t forget to spoil each other every chance you get, and make sure to tell your husband you love him every night before you go to be- Oh, Captain Yamato!”

Watching the video upside down was a whole different experience. One that had almost ended when Iruka called Gai the ‘Hottest guy in Konoha’.

It was difficult to keep his position while processing the fact that Umino Iruka, local hot-headed Academy Sensei, had a crush on Gai. The most outgoing, over-the-top energetic man to ever exist.

His Gai.

“You’re thinking too much, Rival,” Gai teased, a bright smile on his face when Kakashi glanced his way. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

“You are,” regardless of how anyone else felt, Gai had chosen him, flaws and all. “Still, are you sure you don’t want-”

Gai moved swiftly, closing the distance between them and pressing a kiss against his masked lips while the room erupted in cheer. When they parted ways, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile. A warm, comfortable feeling settled in his chest as he stared deep into Gai’s eyes.

“Yes,” Gai answered with a softness in his voice that Kakashi had come to understand as being for him and him alone. No one else in the world got that tenderness from Maito Gai and he would guard it jealousy for as long as Gai allowed him to. “Always.”

The camera cuts to a tree, from which Tenzo slowly extracts himself. With the lower part of his body still melded inside of the tree, he waves toward the camera.

“Obito-san says I’m supposed to congratulate the new couple,” there are sounds of protests off-camera, but Yamato ignores whatever it is and continues unbothered. “Well, congratulations Senpai. Though your choice in men is rather questionable. Speaking of,” his gaze shifted to the right as if he knew just where Gai would be sitting when they watched the video. “If you break Senpai’s heart, not even the eight gates will be able to save you.”

More commotion from behind the camera followed Yamato’s threat and then the camera flickers off, leaving Yamato’s clip short, sweet and to the point.

It was Gai’s turn to almost lose their little competition, his elbows giving out from under him with Yamato’s little threat. With a last moment of strength, he managed to keep himself upright.

“Did he just-”

“Yep.”

The two shared a look, amusement sparkling in their eyes.

“You know what this means, of course, right?” Kakashi rolled his eyes. Gai’s solution to Yamato’s threat was going to be over the top and would no doubt leave Yamato questioning why he subjected himself to their friendship at all. It would be messy, extreme, and so perfectly Gai.

Part of him couldn’t wait. Yamato had brought it upon himself after all, and he might rescue his Kohai if things were getting too out of hand.

Maybe.

“Are you two done yet?” glancing Rin’s way, Kakashi offered her a mischievous smile, which immediately earned him a light smack to the arm. “One day. You couldn’t be normal for one day?”

“If I was, you would be dragging me to the hospital accusing me of being sick,” if not her, Shizune or Tsunade would do it. “Besides, normal is overrated.”

“Of course, it is,” with a dramatic sigh she turned her back to them. “Try not to eat dirt when you inevitably lose.”

For someone who was his teammate, Rin never seemed to cheer for him in his competitions. A fact that was starting to wound his ego a bit.

Tsunade and Shizune appear on the screen standing just outside of Konoha’s biggest pub. Tsunade is holding a glass and looks like she had already enjoyed a few drinks.

“Kakashi! Gai!” Shizune ducks just in time to avoid getting smacked in the face by Tsunade’s arm. “It’s about time!” “Lady Tsunade,” Shizune sighs when the other woman decides her job was done and turns around to return to the pub. “I-fine,” turning her attention to the camera, she beams. “Anyways, congratulations to both of you. Please, for my sanity and everyone's safety, do not supply any sake at your wedding. Lady Tsunade does not need it,” Tsunade can be heard calling for Shizune in the background, but Shizune ignored her in favour of giving the camera a little wave. “And don’t forget to cherish each other. Though, I have no doubt you two won’t need reminding to do that.”

Kakashi snorted when the clip finished. Leave it to Tsunade to get to the point and return to more interesting things.

“Shizune must be upset with us,” Gai commented, wriggling his legs a little when his balance started to waver. “There is far more alcohol than she would like at our wedding.”

Shizune being upset with them was never a preferable outcome, but considering the options they had was an upset Shizune or an upset Tsunade…

Well, Shizune wasn’t about to destroy a wall because they had alcohol available at their wedding. Her temper was far more under control than some others that the pair knew.

“Ma,” He shrugged his shoulders, regretting the movement immediately when his balance started to falter. “If I have no alcohol how am I supposed to get you drunk enough that you’re forced to let me carry you home?”

Gai laughed, bright and boisterous so that all of Konoha could hear. A sound that Kakashi couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life listening to.

The Hatake residence flickers onto the screen, followed just seconds later by both of their fathers leaning into view from either side.

“Congratulations!” they yell in unison, blinding smiles stretched across both of their faces.

“We already said this,” Sakumo chuckled, settling a hand on the back of his head. “But your friend asked us to do it again for his little video.” at his side Dai gave the Obito an apologetic smile and patted Sakumo’s back.

“It’s not a bad thing to say it again,” he reassured his friend. “Our sons are in love. They are enjoying the springtime of their youth together. It’s an event that should be celebrated as often as possible.”

“I guess you’re right,” with a goofy smile on his face, he elbowed Dai gently in the side. “What advice do you have for them?”

“Advice hm,” taking a moment to think, Dai ultimately shrugged his shoulders. “I think what they are doing already is perfect for them.”

“R-really?”

“Yes! Their bond is full of passion. That is what is important!”

“I think understanding and kindness are also pretty important for a relationship to work,” Sakumo offered in place of Dai’s endless enthusiasm.

“And I think,” Yua appeared behind the pair, a hand settling on both their shoulders and herding them off the screen. “You two are taking up all of poor Obito’s time.”

Off-screen Obito can be heard laughing. The sound of something crashing was a signal that he had most likely fallen onto his ass.

“Now,” turning her attention to the camera, Yua offers a smile. The same smile that one would see from Kakashi, with closed eyes and the smallest upwards twist of her lips. “Don’t forget to cherish each other. Even- no, especially at your dorkiest.”

The room erupted with laughter when Kakashi’s mother appeared on screen and shoved both of their fathers away. That laughter only increased with her last few words, with at least half of the room curling into themselves wheezing from the sheer force of their glee.

With a close look, Kakashi could even see his father hiding his face behind his mother's shoulder, no doubt attempting to hide his amusement from the world and a move that earned him a poke in the side from the very woman he was trying to use as a shield.

“Gai?”

“Yes, rival?”

“Will you have me, through seriousness and dorkiness?”

Gai snorted, lifting one arm so that he could poke Kakashi’s nose. “The minute you are serious about anything that is not battle or teamwork, I’ll know that you have been switched with an enemy.”

“And you’ll rescue me?”

“If I have to,” he agreed. “Though, I’m sure I’ll arrive to find you have electrocuted your captures until they could no longer move, thus freeing yourself.”

“Mmm,” it was always nice to know Gai had endless trust in his abilities, even when he sometimes didn’t. “So you’re not going to be mad when I win this competition?”

“Of course not,” Gai beamed. “Because it’s me who’s going to win.”

Cherish each other even at their dorkiest. Somehow, Kakashi didn’t think that would be a problem for them.

Ichiraku appears on the screen. Directly in front of the little shop stands Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Sai. Naruto and Sakura smile and wave at the camera, Sasuke stands half-hidden behind Naruto with a blank expression, and Sai stands to Sakura’s right staring at something off-camera.

“Kakashi-Sensei!” Naruto cheers. “Congratulations on marrying bushy-brows Sensei!”

“It’s impressive,” Sakura adds, the smile still plastered on her face. “The fact that you managed to keep a relationship long enough to get married.”

“Sakura!” Naruto turned to her, a look of horror replacing his cheerful smile.

“What? Most people would have called it quits when he was two hours late for the first date.”

Naruto opened his mouth, preparing to rebuttal. Except no words left his mouth. He simply stood there staring at Sakura with his mouth hanging open and a dumbfounded expression.

“Are we done?” Sasuke interjected. “I have better things to be doing.”

“Name one,” Sakura challenged, a triumphant smirk pulling at her lips when Sasuke simply glared at her. “Congratulate them and we can go.”

“I am not doing that.”

“This is supposed to be a team effort,” clasping her hands behind her back she leaned in towards Sasuke. “Kakashi-Sensei taught us that teamwork is important, remember?”

“You were just insulting him,” Sasuke huffed.

“After I congratulated him,” she clarified. “Come on. You can do it,” Sasuke simply stood there glaring at her. “Don’t make me pull the Naruto card.”

His eyes widened.

“The what?” Naruto looked between the two, clearly confused. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing.” turning back to the camera, Sasuke took a deep breath and muttered something under his breath.

“Sorry,” Obito called from behind the camera. “I didn’t catch that!”

“Congratulations,” he spoke a little louder this time, huffing when Naruto wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “What about Sai? Isn’t he supposed to say it too?”

As if just remembering that Sai was there with them, Sakura and Naruto turned their attention to him.

“Sai,” Sakura groaned when she noticed he wasn’t even paying attention to the video they were trying to record. “We’re supposed to be doing this as a team, remember?”

“Hmm?” dragging his eyes away from whatever had caught his attention, Sai offered Sakura a smile. “I apologize. I noticed Captain Yamato making out with Iruka-san and got distracted.”

“With who!?” Naruto burst forward, shoving Sai out of the way as he rushed off camera.

“Well,” Sasuke vanished into thin air, leaving only Sakura and Sai in view. “Congratulations again, Sensei.”

“Yes, congratulations,” Sai finally smiled into the camera. “I hope your sex life is fulfilling and-”

Sakura’s fist came out of nowhere, striking Sai across the face and sending him flying off-camera just seconds before Obito manages to cut the video off.

CRASH

Pain radiated through Kakashi’s body. Bruises already forming along his arms from the impact of his falling into the table.

Expecting some form of bullying from his pups, he had prepared himself appropriately to avoid this exact outcome, but there was no amount of preparation he could have given himself for that twist at the end.

Sai’s last few words hadn’t even registered, his mind too focused on the idea of Iruka and Yamato being so indecent in public. His kohai of all people, making out with the strict hard-headed Umino Iruka.

How had that even come to be?

“Rival?” Gai landed in front of him with a worried expression on his face. “Are you alright?”

“Iruka…”

“And Yamato, yes,” the ease with which Gai responded caused Kakashi to whip his head back, cracking it against the table painfully. “Rival!”

Rin appeared in an instant, a finger coming up in front of his eyes as soon as she knelt in front of him. “Follow.” doing as he was told, he followed the finger in every direction it went, even though at the moment all he wanted to do was glare at Iruka. “You’re fine, just dramatic.”

“I am not-”

“Yes,” she patted the top of his head and stood. “You are.”

Giving his head a shake, he turned his attention back to Gai. “I guess you win.” it wasn’t a loss to be proud of, but he still had the pleasure of going home with Gai when all was said and done so he wouldn’t sulk over it for too long.

“Don’t worry, Rival,” his husband extended a hand towards him, grinning when he reached out to take it. “We’ll have another one later so that you can try and catch up.”

Usually, he would complain. Remind Gai of their ‘one competition a day’ rule and take the loss with an aloof attitude as he always did. Today was their wedding day, though, and when Gai pulled him to his feet and planted a kiss right atop his nose, he couldn’t help but give in.

Just for today.

“After the video finishes,” he added quickly. “And something a little less dangerous, perhaps?”

“I’ll choose a competition we can do sitting,” Gai promised with a wink. “But as you said, we should finish the video first.”

Neji, Lee and Tenten appear on screen in a training field. Behind them are practise dummies full of Kunai, and on the ground are some open scrolls with seals written on them.

Gai’s students stand side by side, and when the camera focuses on them they each throw a hand full of cherry blossoms into the air. “Congratulations!” All three of them cheer in unison, though Lee’s voice is an octave or two higher than his teammates.

Throwing up a peace sign, Tenten sticks out her tongue.

“Charming,” Neji sighs, placing a hand over his eyes.

“Congratulations on convincing Sensei to marry you, Kakashi-Sensei,” she continued without concern for Neji’s comment. “Please use this advantage wisely and teach him how to sleep in past five am.” Lee and Neji share a look behind Tenten, the type of look that reads as both disbelief and concern at the same time.

“Anyways,” Neji rolled his eyes. “Please try to refrain from any embarrassing competitions on your wedding day.”

“But, Neji-” Both Neji and Tenten slapped their hands over Lee’s mouth to prevent him from finishing whatever it was he wanted to say.

“No competitions,” Neji repeated into the camera. “For one day.”

“It cannot be that hard to be normal for a single day,” Tenten sighed. “No one wants to go to a wedding to see grown men acting foolish.”

As the camera cuts out, Lee can be seen struggling to free himself from his teammate's restraint so that he can get a final word in.

Unfortunately for him, he does not succeed.

Kakashi snorted when he heard Neji’s request. A request that they had already failed spectacularly to grant.

“Why does no one want us to have competitions?” Gai sighed, flopping back into his chair while Kakashi took the seat at his side. “Do they not understand the passion of our rivalry? Without competitions we are nothing!” The fiery rage that burned around Gai was enough to turn the place to ash if left unattended for long.

“Husbands,” Kakashi corrected him, a warmth blossoming in his chest when he thought of what that word meant. How he had enlisted himself to a lifetime of ridiculous competitions and inescapable rivalry with the bonus of Gai’s endless, overwhelming, beautiful love. “We’re husbands now. It’s official.”

The fire in Gai’s soul sizzled, turning to a light warm glow that shone through his eyes when he met Kakashi’s gaze. “Husbands,” he agreed, chuckling a little. “That we are.”

Husbands and eternal rivals. Kakashi couldn’t think of anything better than their weird little rivalry turned to love.

Asuma and Kurenai appear on-screen standing inside their kitchen. Asuma is smiling at the camera and has an arm resting around Kurenai’s shoulders, while Kurenai holds a banner out in front of herself with ‘Congratulations Kakashi and Gai’ written across it.

“Don’t forget to have lots of alcohol at the wedding,” Asuma grins. “It is my duty as your friend-”

“It is not.”

“To make sure Kakashi can’t walk out of the building on his own-”

“Asuma, no.”

“So Gai has every excuse to carry him out bridal style.”

Kurenai rolled her eyes, a look of disappointment directed at Asuma. Behind the camera, Obito can be heard cackling, the sound of something crashing to the ground covering his laughter for just a moment.

“We didn’t invite you inside so you could break our stuff.” Kurenai scolded him.

“Sorry.”

“Anyways, rustling sounds echoed from behind the camera as Kurenai focuses back on the current task. “Before Asuma got embarrassing-”

“Hey!”

“We were going to say, don’t let your wedding be the main event of life. There are still a lot of things left to look forward to.”

A soft, fond smile spread across Asuma’s face, his arm moving down to Kurenai’s waist and pulling her tight against his body.

“So much to look forward to,” he agreed, placing his free hand over her belly. “There’s an entire future still waiting for you two. Make sure to savour it.”

Gai leaned into his side, a look in his eyes that screamed trouble. “So do you think-”

“No.” Asuma had lost his mind saying something like that. Had he forgotten just how easily Gai would get drunk compared to him? Were all of those nights the three of them had spent drinking together a blur to them? “I already told you it’s me who's carrying you home.”

“But, Rival,” Gai pouted, jutting out his bottom lip for extra effect. As if that was going to work against a man with eight hound summons. “It would be cruel to deny Asuma the opportunity to do his duty as our friend.”

At no time in his life had he ever heard ‘get your friend smashed at their wedding’ being one of the requirements of friendship. If it was, he needed a chance to redo Asuma’s wedding so that it was all fair and everyone was upholding their part of the deal fairly.

Still, he wasn’t cruel enough to deny Asuma some fun. It simply wouldn’t be him getting blackout drunk.

“I’m not saying I won’t drink,” he clarified, rolling his eyes when his husband immediately perked up. “I’m simply reminding you that when we drink together, it’s me who carries you home.”

Every

Single

Time.

For it to turn out the way Asuma wanted Gai would have to abstain from drinking at all and giving whatever drinks he received to Kakashi.

“I’ll be the one standing tonight,” Gai straightened himself up. “I give you my word as your eternal rival.”

Somehow he didn’t think that would be enough. Still, with a dismissive wave, he turned his attention back to the video. A small smile tugged at his lips when Gai threw an arm over his shoulder and pulled him tight against his side.

The Namikaze-Uzumaki household appears on the screen. In front of the building stands Minato and Kushina, both smiling and waving at the camera.

“Congratulations you two!” they cheer together, Choza appearing behind them and planting a hand on each of their shoulders.

“Make sure to have lots of food at the wedding,” the Akimichi beams. “Oh, and don’t forget the golden rule of marriage. Never go to bed angry or hungry.”

Kushina snickers behind her hand while Minato shakes his head.

“That’s your advice?” Minato teases Choza, grunting when the hand on his shoulder grips him a bit tighter. “I just mean…surely you have something more useful?”

“And what is your advice, hm?”

“Oh,” Minato and Kushina share an evil look. “That’s easy.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I.”

“Sensei!” Obito whines from behind the camera. “Please, innocent ears are here.”

The pair ignore the complaints they receive and return their attention to the camera.

“Our advice is for the honeymoon,” Minato starts laughing when Kushina gives him a wink.

“Sensei…” Obito doesn’t need to be seen for his discomfort to be obvious. It can be heard clearly in the way his voice wavers when he speaks. “Please.”

“We’re just reminding them to keep hydrated,” Kushina argues, snickering when Obito lets out a relieved sigh. “It’s very important to keep hydrated you two. That means drinking lots of water throughout your day and-”

“Making sure the lube is water-based,” Minato cuts in with a grin. “You don’t want any unfortunate accidents during your honeymoon.”

Silence blanketed the room, except for the stifled giggles that could be heard from the far right where Kushina and Minato sat huddled close together with matching smirks on their faces.

Not a single person dared to say anything and instead chose to watch Kakashi and Gai. waiting patiently for their response to the pair's advice.

Far too used to the pair's shenanigans, and unwilling to give his sensei the satisfaction of a response, Kakashi decided instead to focus on Choza-sensei’s piece of advice.

“You hear that?” he grinned up at Gai. “Never go to bed angry or hungry. That means you can’t get mad at me for reading Icha Icha in bed. It’s bad for our marriage.”

Catching onto what Kakashi was doing, Gai chuckled. “Well, in that case, I’ll just have to make us lots of curry for dinner. To ensure that we are not hungry when it is time for bed.”

The grin dropped off Kakashi’s face. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

The two sat there staring each other down, daring the other to make the next move while everyone watched with bated breath. Knowing stubbornness wouldn’t win against Gai, Kakashi chose to bargain instead. “We could read Icha Icha together,” he negotiated. “Cuddled up under the blanket with the lights down low.”

“Are we going to need water-based lube for this activity?” Kakashi’s pride shattered in an instant, his Sensei’s laughter ringing in his ears.

Never, in all the years he had left to live, would he ever hear the end of his Sensei’s horrible life advice. Maito Gai would make sure of that.

“Come on you two!” Obito called out, raising his glass towards the ceiling. “Forget about our weird Sensei and kiss already!”

“Ya!” Jumping up from his seat Naruto threw his hands up into the air. “You haven’t even shared your first kiss as a married couple! Kiss, Kiss, Kiss!” At his side Sasuke sunk into his chair while Sai and Sakura joined in chanting ‘Kiss’ until the grooms caved to their wishes.

Tilting his head back, Kakashi smirked. “Well?”

“We can’t deny them such a request,” Gai chuckled. “As long as you’re alright with it, of course.”

A kiss, in front of a room of prying eyes. Not his favourite situation to find himself in, but he was willing to suffer for one night.

For Maito Gai. His husband.

“Ma,” lifting a hand, he tapped a finger against his mouth. “Just one.”

Taking the hint, Gai swooped in for an over-the-mask kiss while a chorus of protests echoed around them. Kakashi’s pretty sure he even hears Sakura breaking a table in half with her fist, but he pays it no mind.

For today it is someone else's problem to deal with. His only concern is Gai’s kiss and the bright, beautiful future he has to look forward to. Absolutely nothing else mattered to him at this moment.

Well, nothing except that conversation he was going to have with Iruka in a few days, but he had time to think about what he was going to say to the husband admiring, Kohai kissing Sensei.

“Kakashi…” Gai pulled away, narrowing his eyes in a judgment expression. “I’m kissing you and you’re not even paying attention?”

Oh, that was bad.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. “Try again?”

Gai huffed. “One more time,” he agreed, leaning in for another kiss only to stop when Kakashi held a hand between them. “Kakashi?”

“A proper kiss.” tucking a finger under the top of his mask, he pulled the cloth down swiftly and swooped, planting his lips against Gai’s before anyone could get a really good look at his face. Unfortunately, judging by the celebratory sounds that erupted from Team Seven’s table, he had failed spectacularly.

#kakagai #Everyone lives AU #Teen rating for sex jokes #also Kakashi's having the best day of his life and a bad day at the same time #because why not #Mentions of ObiRin #Mentions of YamaIru #Team Seven is the bain of Kakashi's existence #yet they're still not as embaressing as his own father #and no where near being as embaressing as his Sensei #why can't he have a normal sensei?#why did GAI get the normal sensei?

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1-800-i-ship-it · 4 years ago

Note

How could anyone simp for KDJ. I call him pretty but it's like: pretty (self-delusion) or pretty (lies). Even pretty (derogatory) once or twice.

Please tell me why people simp for him so I can write it down. 📝 - bi panik YJH anon

MNDNDNDNNDDNBDBDJKKDKKS njkhsdjlfkjls ahahaha pretty (derogatory) is very valid

i cant speak for other people (also, totally free to disagree with me) but i okay well i honestly dont even know where it started LMAO but i simp for him cause i really like his personality including the bastardry ahaha but hes also really relatable cause like binging webnovels and stuff is a big mood, also i think his character as a whole is very interesting, like morally grey ish i suppose lmao im about to pull a “hes not like other mcs” but hear me out, its nice that hes not like other mcs with like ig insane powerups? even though he does get special skills w/ fourth wall and bookmark kinning etc like its bc he read the webnovel and stuff and its interesting to see how hes a “reader” but hes still like, real if that makes sense; its not like he does everything effortlessly and i like that, and even tho hes highkey oblivious at times, hes like very self aware of what he does, i guess? like his intentions and actions etc and he doesnt blame it or put it on other people

ALSO hes so fucking funny like. i love his sense of humor and how hes highkey done with everyone but at the same time cares about them, like the dynamic he has with other characters is absolutely chefs kiss haha esp with yjh hes always like “shit, this [insert handsome, pretty, gorgeous] bastard, again?” and its so funny i cant lmao and hes also super big brain and risky af but also a dumbass at the same time and i love that about him <3

and of course lastly,,,,hes such a pretty bastard AND omg i love that frickin smug ass smirk he does lmao

alright um so the screenshots kind of went out of hand...just a bit...in my defense personally i think i was enabled to spam pics so :P and im sorry if like none of that made sense LMAO i tend to go on tangents a lot oopsies i hope it was a satisfactory answer at least haha

a happy boiiiii

hehe a smol

<33

OMG hes so pretty here

<33

LOVE THIS PANEL

i love his smirks

the duality of my king

DEF ONE OF MY FAVE PANELS HES SO CUTE

$50 gift card so relatable hes adorable

i love him xD

pls his thoughts r so funny i love them

please consider taking some time to hear kdj the scammer™️ out

he said decolonization 👌

YES ANOTHER BASTARD GRIN

the smilleeee

smug smirk ftw

HI HOW R HIS EYELASHES SO PRETTY

ANYWAYS LOVE MY DRAMA KING 👑

thanks everyone who had no choice but to scroll(ed) down till here ahaha hope yall enjoyed my kdj screenshot spam :D and if not LMAO im slightly sorry for the suffering ;)

ty for the ask anon!

spoilers for the webtoon past the free ep under the cut:

HELLO HIS EYES HERE AJDLKFL

HE BLEP

a sulky smol!!

i swear hes drawn more buff without his armor stuff jkfdsl xD

ANYWAYS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

#bluris answers asks #bi panik yjh anon #kdj #kim dokja #orv #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #screenshots galore #KIM DOKJA SIR #ASDKJFHHLJK #omg also his name is so cute #kdj screenshots #anyways uh i totally am not working on this during a meeeting LMAO #i love himmm #hope this satisfies ur ask?#im horrible at using periods lmao so i never talk in complete sentences unless im like writing a paper jsdkalkhf #hope it was somewaht comprehensible at least xD

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strictomiles · 3 years ago

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It’s my munday, and i’ve chosen to get things off my chest. I’ll probably delete this but, sometimes you need a place to rant. To get things out and become free.

I’m tired, you’re tired. We. Are all tired. But when did fatigue begin to become a place of giving up? Of saying, yes. I’ve done the right things but, now i’m bored. So, to hell with rules? To hell with helping people and staying safe. I’m bored. So i’m done.

Canada’s covid climate has gotten worse. So many people I’ve work with have gotten it. And they brag about how it’s validated them in their quest to say it’s all bullshit. All the while spreading it around to everyone else without a care. People scream peace! All the while berating, scaring and harming others.

And you can’t get away from it. Everywhere you turn, things are getting worse and still. Selfishness reigns supreme. To the point where I question if i’m going crazy. Am I the one who’s wrong for being conscious, for still not gathering but–- going about my day to day life safely. For not booking trips or saying to hell with it all. For trying to stay well? So many people have given up. It’s hard to not feel like you’re alone in trying to keep being safe.

And then there comes the internet. A quick 180 of my thoughts. Another rant. Another reason to go off. Why my creativity feels empty and I shy away from a lot right now.

Everything seems so hollow. Watching the world implode whilst emojis reign supreme to mask real emotions or to put at the end of passive aggressiveness. I think to these two posts. both, rather funny in my opinion and one that just really exemplifies how i’m feeling as an exhausted person in my late 20′s.

Now, these, just make me laugh i’ve been meaning to post them on Gladio for ages. And as a purveyor of the ‘xD’ still in 2022, It’s well and fine. But damn, Does my head hurt some days with all of it. As if an sentence can’t just be what it is anymore after the 17th emoji when do we stop? That’s just some salty crust mind you. People are allowed to have fun and if that’s your vibe. That’s your vibe.

I’m trying to cultivate my internet and tumblr experience as a whole into things that I enjoy rather than people pleasing. That will only get you so far and then, the creativity does suffer. The bottom line is. I am so tired. And it feels like everything when, really. I’m sure it’s a few large scale issues just beating at my brain until it’s whittled down into nothing but, unimpressed nothingness.

My selectivity comes in putting myself first finally but, there are just some things (ships, interactions) that I just don’t care to see which i’d formerly just turn my head away from. But, I think it’s now time that I start using the removal feature.

I don’t know dudes. I’m sure none of this makes sense. I’m just feeling old and tired. And these past few weeks have been the brunt of feeling bad. Maybe it’s the new year blues. Maybe its a lot of things.

#get your head outta your ass || ooc

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

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ANOTHER HOUSE HUNTERS STORY:

Family of four, Mom, dad, set of twins under five one girl one boy, budget of 800k. Mom wants Mudroom, sunroom, living room, dining room, and four bedrooms.

Dad wants a panic room, a theater room, an on suite, and thinks they could get by with just two bedrooms. Fights with mom about how the twins could share and how this is the only house he's buying her. Mom states if this is the only house they're ever getting, then they are at least getting a three bedroom one.

Wife gives up the Mudroom, sunroom, dining room, so kids can have their own bedrooms once they're older. Husband gets his panic room (really more like hoarding room, since it's just a basement bedroom he says he's going to full with survival gear and canned food.) Theater room, but doesn't get the on suite and is very upset about having his bathroom accessible to everyone.

They were under budget though. Am glad the mom stuck to her guns and got the twins their own rooms too.

Please never stop feeding me these I fucking love them.

This is all mad.

Okay so fun fact the title (mudroom; or: the things my mother used to wish for) comes from the fact that she desperately wanted a mudroom in our house, but it just didn't work out that way. (The "my" there is proverbial but it does include me, Matthew, xd.)

I'm glad they got the kids separate rooms. Personally, I think an en suite master bath is a valid request, if only because it means kids also have their own space. That's not a vanity thing either, it can stop kid borne diseases from infecting the whole family. Or in my case, my brother uses the master bath for some unknown reason and I escaped a lot of grody child illnesses everyone else had to suffer through. I'd pick that over a theatre room any day.

#ask #anon #mine #house hunters #seriously pls don't stop I love this

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twilightknight17 · 4 years ago

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We’re at the end of the road, folks.

And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD

So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.

Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.

So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.

After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?

Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.

We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.

Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.

Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.

I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.

But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.

And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.

That is certainly a persona.

I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.

Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”

I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.

Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD

Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.

The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!

Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.

You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.

I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.

The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.

I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD

I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.

We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.

EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.

The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.

...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.

One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.

Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.

Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.

Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.

After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.

I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.

That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.

But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.

The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.

Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.

Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.

I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD

The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D

Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.

This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.

Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.

I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?

#Li plays P5Scramble #one more post incoming

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