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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

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in which harry stumbles across your livestream.

a/n: alright lovelies! here is my submission for bificathon hosted by my two lovely friends @bopbopstyles & @harrysclementines !! my prompt is ‘harry accidentally stumbles upon a livestream of her and her friend’ and let me tell you, I SNATCHED THIS SO QUICK! its my first time writing gxg smut, so pls be nice :’). also september is bi awareness month, so happy bi month babies! you’re so all beautiful and valid <3

enjoy 4k words of bi/camgirl!yn x roommate/best friend!harry filled with girl x girl smut/filth

come into my inbox and send feedback and let’s talk about this!

pls rb to share! <3

It was Harry’s usual Thursday night when he found himself lying in his bed with his laptop on his lap and a plate of his dinner in his hands.

He was binge watching interior home designers on Netflix, letting out an ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ as they revealed the finished homes, practically envisioning his future home the same way.

Thursday nights were practically the start of his weekend as he didn’t have classes on Fridays, and usually his friends and him would hang out, but he really just didn’t feel like going out nor did he have the social capacity to hang out and get drunk when he’s probably going to do that on Friday and Saturday.

He simply just wanted a break, and that included staying inside and watching interior designers flip a house completely different, and eating his dinner. And he wasn’t ashamed that he enjoyed it.

After a few episodes and an empty plate, Harry paused the next episode before it even started to put his plate away and grab a glass of water. As he was washing his plate, he heard the door open and close, followed by hushed giggles and whispers.

“Shh. Harry might be asleep,” a voice said, but he knew it was you. You knew that he liked to sometimes sleep early, but he thought it was too early to be asleep, seeing as it was only eight p.m.

“I’m actually in here,” he chuckled, making himself present with his voice.

“Oh!” You said surprisingly, and another laugh was heard.

You made your way to the kitchen, your guest following behind you as you saw Harry in just a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

“Hey, H,” you greeted.

“Hi, love. Have fun tonight?” He asked. You had went to the bar to chill out from the many essays you had to write and exams you had to take, and Thursday nights were also a start to your weekend as well, so fuck it.

“Yeah, I did, thanks for asking. This is Daniela, by the way,” you introduced the girl you had met at the bar.

You had seen Daniela right when you walked in as her and her friends were sitting at the table right next to the entrance, and she immediately caught your eye. She looked right back at you, giving you some flirty eyes herself as you were dragged away by your friends and straight to the bar.

After a few drinks and rounds of dancing with your best girlfriends, you saw Daniela walk over to the bar and order some drinks, so you decided that it was your chance to go up to her.

You two had immediately hit it off, getting to know one another. She told you that she was a lesbian, and you proudly told her that you were bisexual. You also found out that you’re both in the same bio-chem class together, which definitely raised the excitement as she suggested studying together and you happily said yes. Then there was dancing while you two were both buzzed, completely forgetting your friends as you grinded against each other and kissed, not caring that you were practically putting on a show for everyone around you.

And when you suggested that you took her home, she immediately said yes, and you dragged her outside as you waited for the Uber you called.

“Nice to meet you, Daniela. I’m Harry,” he introduced himself, shaking her hand. “Her roommate and friend-”

“Best friend. C’mon, Harry, don’t put yourself lower than that,” you corrected and he smiled.

“Alright, alright. My bad,” he laughed.

“So, we’re gonna go to my room,” you winked him as Harry said ‘have fun’ before cleaning up a bit in the kitchen.

He was glad that one of you was getting laid. He also noticed how happy you were, which he absolutely adored, and he thinks it has to do with the fact that you came out a year ago, and you’re now living your life to the fullest and happiest, and that’s all he wants; is for you to be happy with yourself and in general.

Harry met you at the end of freshman year of college as your friend groups met up with each other at a bar. He was a bit more shy than the rest of his friends, and didn’t immediately mingle with everyone until a few drinks in. But as you introduced yourself to his friends, you noticed him sitting down at the bar, not interacting with anyone. You were also somewhat on the quiet side, but was able to handle introducing yourself, so you completely understood why Harry acted the way he did when you two met.

“Hey, not feeling it tonight?” You asked, taking a seat next to him.

“Eh, not one for going up to people and initiating a conversation,” he said nervously.

“I get that. Makes me nervous to go up to someone and talk to them, but I’m trying to get over that, so here’s me trying,” you chuckled as did he.

“Well, we gotta drink to that then,” he said, and it took him by surprise that he was able to make a joke and laugh.

It could have definitely been the liquid courage, but he was starting to warm up to you; joking around and becoming less tense as you two talked and drank. But that was because you were making him comfortable, to which he appreciated very much.

Since then, you two have been by each other’s side. He told you that your friends kind of intimidated him because they were very out there, and that made you laugh slightly because it was very true, but you made sure to be by his side whenever your groups hung out.

The group hangouts turned into one-on-one hangouts with just you and Harry. He was definitely more comfortable with you, and he really enjoyed your company and presence.

Both of your friends had expected you two to end up together, but you two realized that you were better off as friends—who knows if you two will end up together, but for now, you were happy being best friends with him as was he.

It was a year, the end of sophomore year, when you wanted to move out of the dorms. It wasn’t like you didn’t like your friends and roommates, but sometimes you wanted your own space and that didn’t help when there’s two other people in the same room as you.

So Harry suggested that you both find a flat together since he was on the lookout for a flat anyways, and it’ll help him a ton with bills and whatnot. You excitedly said yes after you asked him if he was sure that he wanted to move in with you, and if he was extra sure that he wanted to since you’d be there when he would take home people. He laughed, and said that he didn’t care and wanted to live with you, saying it’ll be fun. You both had gotten quite close throughout that year and practically told each other everything, so it’ll be even better to live with someone you both trust.

Junior year of uni, he noticed that you always came home with a sad frown on your face, briefly saying hi to him before going straight to your room and locking yourself up for hours. Harry tried figuring out why you were in such a mood all the time, and tracked his steps, seeing if he said anything wrong that made you upset. But he couldn’t figure it out as you both always had light and fun conversations during breakfast and dinner.

And the frown went on for months until you both came back from Christmas break, and you told him that you had to tell him something very important.

“Love, you can tell me anything, you know that right?” He said, reassuring you.

“Yeah. It’s just…I’m nervous to,” you said, shaking your leg. Harry really wondered what happened during break that made you so anxious. He was worried that you wanted to move out and not live with him anymore, but he had to remind himself that it was probably not even about him as he told you to take your time.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he said, and you nodded, giving him a smile before you walked off to your room to gather your thoughts.

An hour later, you came out of your room and found Harry sitting on the couch, watching a film. You sat next to him, and he immediately turned off the TV, giving you his full attention.

You took a deep breath and started, “What I was trying to say earlier was that something about me has changed, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I was still figuring it out, but I was just scared of what you would think,” you said. Harry started to get concerned, but he let you finish talking before he said anything. “So, I’ve always had an attraction towards girls, and I thought it was just me thinking a girl was pretty, but when I started to get nervous and flustered when a girl would talk to me, I realized that I really like them, and I would find myself flirting with them and longing to have something romantic with them. And then when I went back home for break, I met up with a childhood friend, and somehow…we kissed. It was so magical that it made my stomach flutter.”

Harry had smiled softly as you told your story; knowing where this conversation was going, but of course, he stayed silent and let you talk.

“So what I’m trying to tell you is that… I’m bi,” you had said nervously, hands shaking in your lap. You were trying to contain your tears from falling from your face as you shook your leg.

“Love, I’m so happy for you,” he replied, opening his arms to comfort you from the anxiety you were feeling from telling him. You had softly sobbed into his shoulder, feeling the weight on your shoulders disappear as you had finally told the person you were closest to and who you trust the most.

“R-Really?” You said as you pulled away from his hold.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? I’m happy that you can be whoever you want to be and I’m here to support you,” he said, holding your arms and running his hands over your skin.

“Thank you, Harry,” you smiled at him, feeling ultimately grateful for your best friend and his acceptance.

Harry smiled at the memory as he heard giggles through your door, and he chuckled as he finished cleaning before heading to his room. He was feeling a bit tired and despite it being a bit earlier than his usual bedtime, he decided to call it a night a try to get some sleep, deciding that he could go on a run in the morning since he was sleeping early.

But after an hour of tossing and turning, he gave up trying to get a restful sleep, and opened his laptop to put on some Netflix, hoping it would lull him into a deep slumber. He was comfortably watching a random show until his hand grazed his crotch, and he realized he hadn’t relieved himself nor had he had sex in a while.

So, he pushed his boxers down his legs, kicked them off the bed, and took off his shirt before he grabbed some lube and pumped his cock as it immedately hardened in his hand. He began touching himself in the darkness of his room as he quietly groaned out and threw his head back on his pillow.

Realizing he doesn’t have some kind of visual, he stops to search up cam girl sites on the internet so he can get a mental image in his head to get him off. He finally settled on one user that was doing a live stream called ‘KISSYPLS’ as the preview was a girl going down on another with a purple ambiance to the room. The room was dark, but not dark enough where he couldn’t see the two girls.

The sound of the moans from his laptop were quite loud and he didn’t want you to hear it all the way from your room, so he grabbed some headphones from his bedside table, plugging in his earbuds into his ears as the sounds of the girls moaned and talked dirty to each other.

“You taste so fuckin’ good,” the girl that was doing the eating out said before she crawled her way up to the other’s body.

And the slightest moment as Harry was watching, the girl on her back had shifted down a bit as they kissed, and Harry’s eyes flew wide open once he glanced. He saw the face that he wouldn’t have expected he would see.

His roommate. His best friend. It was you.

You were being eaten out on his computer screen by Daniela, and he was in complete shock. He honestly hadn’t expected to find you because it was just a random scroll through the site, but holy fuck.

You hadn’t had your account for very long—maybe about three months. But you thought it was a good way to make some extra money because the bills were stacking up and they had to be paid off somehow. And you loved the idea of getting off in front of a camera for random strangers who pay to see that shit.

And of course, Harry didn’t know you were a cam girl at all. He hadn’t seen that coming when he was looking for something to get off to. But he wasn’t complaining. He just didn’t expect you to be the one on the other side of the screen. But there you were, showing your body and having sex with someone on camera for the (as shown) 27 people watching who are also horny as fuck.

You as a person are already beautiful, he knew that, but your body was something else. The way your tits were shown so clearly on his screen with your tattoo that was inked right next to your left tit; as the purple light hit your skin. He wanted to take them in his mouth and devour them.

You were sprawled out onto the bed, naked as Daniela was kissing you, and he couldn’t stop looking at you as your face looked while kissing someone. He was in complete shock that he stopped stroking himself, his dick in his hands as he watched you two make out. But once his cock twitched from the sight of your ass sticking up, getting a view of your glistening pussy and ass, he continued.

You flipped Daniela onto her back, making her squeal in surprise before you started kissing down her body, leaving small and sweet kisses to her soft skin. You took her nipples into your mouth, sucking on it lightly as she moaned. Once you were lying on your stomach between her legs, you gave her inner thighs a kiss before licking one long strike up her pussy. You generally loved the way girls taste rather than guys, so your mouth salivates more when you’re with women, eating them out and tasting them, and pleasuring them to their orgasm.

You tongue focused on her clit, licking her sensitive bud relentlessly as your arms were looped under her thighs, and your hand reached up to grab one of her breasts, taking her nipple in between your finger and lightly pulling it.

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned. Her voice was much more high pitched than normal, but you think it’s hot as fuck. “Like that.”

That encouraged you to continue sucking on her clit, and you brought your free hand to plunge two fingers into her wet pussy, curling up to meet the soft spot inside of her. Daniela’s back arched off the bed as her hair was spread out onto the pillow as she grabbed a fistful of your sheets into her hands. You pulled your mouth away from her to place your hand on her clit, rubbing it fast as you continue to finger fuck her. Daniela was an absolute mess above you, chanting that she was going to come as a way to manifest her orgasm.

“C’mon, beautiful. Cum for me,” you encouraged her, the sound of your voice had made Daniela and Harry moan out with how sultry and seductive you sounded. Daniela’s peak washed over her as her hips bucked up, but you placed your arm on top of her thigh to stop her from moving as you calmed her down from her high. You licked her up once more, collecting her juices on your tongue before climbing up her body to connect your lips with her. Daniela could taste herself on you, and it turned her on even more despite just having an orgasm.

Harry watched as you two kissed for a while. She wrapped her arms around your back, pressing her body against yours as you two made out, swirling your tongues together. Harry fondled his balls, intensifying the feeling before going back to stroke his cock. He gripped on his long hair with his other hand, so it felt like someone was in the room pulling his hair for him, and he closed his eyes. With the feeling of his orgasm coming, he was about ready to pump faster so he could get to his peak, but he heard your voice again.

“I’m not done with you yet. Wanna cum again?” You asked her, and she nodded eagerly. “Want you to cum when I say so,” you told Daniela, and she nodded. Harry slowed his movements down as if he felt like you were personally talking to him, even though a lot of people on her live stream felt the way he did once she said those words.

You fixed the laptop, pushing it back a little but still pointing it down to your bodies rather than your face. Giving Daniela a kiss, you situate yourself, putting one leg over her and the other under. You reach between you two, inserting your finger in her wet hole and bringing that wetness to her clit, and she does the same to you.

Slowly moving closer to one another, you touch clits, rubbing it against each other as you two moaned out. The sounds coming from both of your mouths were loud enough that Harry had heard them from his room, and it genuinely felt like he was in the same room as he was also watching it on his screen.

“Fuck, I wanna cum,” he groaned to himself.

“You wanna cum?” You said, rubbing yourself on her and she whimpered out a ‘mhm,’ and you proceeded to grind faster.

“Yeah, please let me,” Harry moaned.

The feeling of both your wetness rubbing together was sending you over the edge as you felt like you were going to explode. Your moans had gotten louder, and you really hoped Harry was wearing some sort of headphones with loud music because you felt bad that you were being this loud, but you couldn’t help it.

But little did you know that Harry was listening to everything.

You felt like Daniela had waited long enough to release, so you grabbed her face gently, giving her a kiss. “Go ahead. Cum for me,” you said breathlessly as you were going to let go after she was done.

Once Harry heard those words, he sighed in relief, letting out a loud groan as his orgasm was released onto his stomach. His abs clenched and his hips bucked into his hand. He grabbed a pillow and bit on it, concealing his moans as he came down from his high. With his chest heaving up and down, he looked over at his laptop to see you breathing deeply and he knew that you had just orgasmed as well.

Your orgasms had hit both of you hard as you were left sprawled out on the bed, laying on opposite sides as your legs were still entangled with one another. Daniela sat up, pulling your body towards her, and she kissed you deeply, still feeling entirely breathless.

“God, you’re amazing,” she said against your lips, and you smiled into the kiss. The live stream was still going on, so Harry continued watching you two interact with one another post orgasm. “Kinda wanna use that dildo of yours on you,” she smirked, and you chuckled, nodding your head eagerly.

“Like a threesome, but with a dildo,” you joked, and she laughed.

“Maybe we should have one?”

“What? A threesome?” You asked, pulling back, and she nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah, why not?”

“With who?”

Just on cue, a knock was heard on your door quite loud, making you and Daniela turn your heads towards the door. Before you even had the chance to even get up, the door opened, revealing Harry in just his boxers. You couldn’t help but look down at his crotch area and see his cock hard.

“Done with the show ladies?” He asked, smirking. The two of you were still completely naked, but neither of you cared to make an effort to cover yourselves.

“W-What?” You stuttered and looked at Daniela as she had no clue what was going on either.

“Watched your live stream,” he finally said, and your eyes widened.

“How did you find it?” You asked, moving towards the edge of the bed, and Daniela stayed behind near the headboard.

“By coincidence, I swear,” he said, walking towards you. “Was just scrolling and I was horny as fuck, and I stumbled upon it.”

“D-Did you like it?” A nervous tone came with your words, and it was strange because you’ve never been nervous with Harry, except the time you came out to him. A huge part of you wanted him to say he liked it and that he enjoyed the show, and you really hoped he did.

He stood in between your legs and looked down at you as you looked up. The sight below him was just something that irked him; you looking up at him with wide eyes, acting innocent and him looking down at you with a raging hard on, begging to be touched by you and your mouth. He placed his hands on both sides of your face, caressing your warm cheek as he studied you for a moment. The smear of mascara that laid under your eyes and your flushed cheeks made his cock twitch.

Just from watching your live stream, he noticed that you were quite dominant in bed with girls. But with how you’re looking at him, wanting validation and reassurance from him, you’re submissive with men (or just him in general).

His stare was intimidating, and the dark purple light illuminating your room didn’t help. He’s never seen you naked and bare, so that added to the stress of if he likes what he sees. But you were surprised that you didn’t want to cover up in front of him. Throughout the years of being best friends and roommates, you two have never fucked. Although you have kissed multiple times, it was purely platonic and sometimes you just needed a kiss every once in a while. And as your best friend, Harry was happy to help.

“Of course I fucking loved it. Wanna know my favorite part?” You smiled softly, nodding slowly as you looked at him with big and innocent eyes. He bent down, matching your eye level before he whispered, “Well, first of all you, of course. Looked so damn beautiful, I swear.” You blushed, and he continued. “But the part when Daniela suggested a threesome just a minute ago. If you and her are up with me being a plus one, then I am. Your wish is my command,” he said softly, kissing your nose.

Daniela gasped behind you, a big smile on her face as she crawled to the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around your waist and kissed your shoulder before she spoke.

“Well, looks like we’re gonna have a lot of fucking fun.”

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years

Text

paralyzed;

full masterlist

Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers x female!reader

Word count: 2,032

Warning: SMUT!!!! non-con, degradation, humilation, oral sex (male & female receiving), murder, mention of blood, kidnapping. (MUST BE 18+)

Summary: Steve Rogers broke into your house but not for your money.

a/n: i’m back on my dark!steve rogers bullshit.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

"You should be grateful." He stared down at your writhing form, with a knife in his hands that he had just wiped clean from the blood of her wimpy boyfriend. "I could've killed you too if I wanted to."

The tears of terror flowed from your eyes as you miserably attempted to free yourself out of the robes that were bounding you but to no avail. You wanted to scream for help as loud as you possibly could but all that could come out of your tapped lips were pathetic whimpers.

You wanted to run on your wobbly legs as fast as you could even if you knew you were going to stumble to the ground and scrape your knees and it would only make it so easy for him to catch you but at least you had that fleeting sense of freedom, an ephemeral glint of hope that you could actually save yourself from this psycho.

But it was hopeless. He was too strong. You stood no chance trying to outrun him, all it would lead you to was only in a worse scenario.

But hey, at least you are not dead yet.

Steve Rogers had been watching her and her pantywaist of a boyfriend for months now. Every day, he would sit in his RV for hours and he would park it across their house. He watched him leave to work every morning and she would peck him a kiss on the lips before he entered his car and drove away. He never understood what a girl as hot as her was doing with an average, tedious guy like him. She could do so much more. She should be with a man like him that could satisfy her in bed.

It started when she called for a plumber and the first time he saw her, he was instantly captivated by her beauty. "Fucking hell, she was gorgeous," he thought. She was only wearing a white tank top and booty shorts with a cardigan over her shoulders when he arrived. Her cleavage that was peeking through her shirt and her creamy thighs got him and jerking off at the thought of fucking her into the mattress that night. but he remembered the silver ring around her finger and the pictures of her wedding day in the living room, and he didn't like it. There was nothing that he hated more than what he couldn't have.

And so, a nefarious plan was forming in his head. he waited patiently for weeks, camouflaged himself in a baseball hat and hid in his RV. He observed her from afar, he learned her routines and broke into her house once when she left to the grocery store to memorize every corner and every room. He did it so neatly. He was ready, at another Friday night when it was nearing 12 am, after her husband came home and slumbering next to her, he snuck in through the back door with a dark mask covering his face and he tiptoed into the master bedroom.

He was as silent as a ninja that it was way too swift and a way to easy. He stood over the edge of their bed, he watched their peaceful states and he admired how divine she still looked even when she was deep asleep and the lights were out.

He walked to her husband's side of the bed and put his glove covered hand over his mouth and slit his throat. his eyes bulged as soon as he realized what was happening but he couldn't speak or scream, he could only thrash around until steve cut off his windpipe.

And in a matter of seconds, the schmuck was laying lifeless with his eyes wide open, the splash of his blood tainted his white sheets. He dragged the body off the bed to the floor and the thud woke her up.

It took her a few seconds to realize the gory calamity that was happening before her and before she could scream and run, he held her down on the bed and covered her nose with chloroform dipped handkerchief until she went unconscious.

That's how she woke up an hour later, bound and bare. her head was dizzy from what felt like hours of staying still in the same position now and the fear just kept rising and rising with every movement and noise he made. at least she was sure that he wasn't going to murder her just yet.

You had so many questions swirling in your brain, you began searching for the people you might have had done wrong or any suspicious behaviour that you might've had neglected... Not a single one had given you a valid answer.

"You must be wondering who am I and what do I want, huh?" he scoffed. "Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you or for your money, I'm here for you."

You could feel the bed dipped with the weight of his arms behind you. He loved the view of your ass up in the air, face pressed to the blood tainted sheet and your limbs knotted with ropes. the things he was going to do to you...

"Remember when you called me to fix your sink a few months ago? Boy, you looked miserable as hell. knew it since the first moment I saw you that this guy doesn't have the guts to fuck your brains out. well... Didn't would be more appropriate." he smirked. "I met a lot of housewives and most of them practically begged for me to make them cum but, none of them was as sexy as you."

Gou could hear the clanking sounds of his belt being unfastened and him pulling down his pants and underwear just enough to spring his cock free. He pulled you down harshly to the edge of the bed, your skin burned against the friction.

You tried to push him away with your feet but he overpowered you by keeping you in place. "Don't fucking move, bitch. Or we are gonna do this the hard way, you want that?" You didn't fight back or resist by keeping quiet... not that you could do much anyway. "good."

He bent down his knees and dipped his head into your core, he licked a stripe over your entrance to your clit and lapped on your juices. He devoured you like a famished man and the squelching noises were deeply humiliating.

His beard unpleasantly tickled you and you knew he was gonna leave some beard burn later but that was your least concern right now. "Mmm, so fucking sweet, just like I imagined." He groaned at your taste, sending vibration to your core.

You moaned when two of his fingers intruded you and his thumb was circling your clit. Your body betrayed you by producing the wetness that you resisted. He curled his digits and brushed the spot that made you lose your mind. You sighed when he pumped in and out of you, scissoring your walls. “Look at you dripping all over my fingers. Can’t help it, can you? You need to be fucked hard by a real man so bad.”

The tears in your eyes had blurred your vision. His filthy words made you squirm. “Don’t worry, little slut. I’ll give you what your wimpy husband couldn’t.” He was amused by your reaction as he kept rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves. You mewled through your muffled mouth.

You felt your orgasm approaching, an unwanted eruption. But you were so close to the edge and when he moved in and out of your walls faster, you were pushed over the edge, making a mess all over your captor’s fingers. “That’s it. Go ahead, bitch. Show me what a dirty little slut you are.”

Your legs trembled and you were coming down from your high when Steve turned you around and now you were face to face with your captor. You wanted to curse this debauched man for ruining your life but all you could do was plead with your eyes to stop and let you go.

He stroked his cock and grazed it along your slit and milked it with your wetness before violating your body by pushing it to your entrance. “So fucking tight.” Steve began moving in and out of you, stretching you wide open with his cock. He began by pulling out until only the tip was in and impaled you deeply, jolting your entire body.

He repeated this motion and accelerated his pace. He kept his eyes on the way your breasts bouncing with every thrust. He untied the robe around your ankles and lifted them up onto his shoulders. You could feel him deeper than before and it hurt. “Take it bitch, take my cock like the fucking whore you are.”

Your visions were getting hazy by second. You were locked in your own body. All you could do was lay there and take it until he was done. He sped up, trying to chase his own release and the coil in your abdomen tightened. No, please no, not a second one. You spasmed and you exploded, this one was bigger than the last. Steve only chuckled at the sight while still ramming in and out of you vigorously.

“Fucking whore. Acting like you don’t like it but you’re so desperate to cum, huh? I’m gonna fucking wreck you.” Your walls clenched around him and Steve’s cock throbbed. He threw his head back and groaned and pulled out of you to dump his load all over your body, your breasts and your belly were covered in his thick, white cum.

You felt numb, you could only lay in an uncomfortable position with the robes digging into your skin with tears flowing from your eyes. You didn’t know if you could ever recover from this molestation if you were lucky enough for Steve to let you live… You’d be left with the pieces. At this point, you didn’t know if him ending your life would be a better or worse option. At least, you wouldn’t have to bury your husband or tell the police, your friends and family about what happened.

Just when you thought he was done, he turned you around so your head was hanging on the edge of your bed. “You didn’t think I’m done with you, yet, did you?” He stood tall above you, his face was like a demon creeping up in the dark, ready to pounce on you. “Please, just stop, please. I can’t- I can’t take it anymore.” You stammered through your ragged breaths. “Open your mouth.”

“Please, I’ll give you whatever you want, just, please, let me go.”

“Open your fucking mouth, bitch. Or I’ll do it for you.” He threatened.

You cried as you parted your lips slowly, but Steve was impatient. He propelled the tip into your mouth and he hit the back of your throat. You whined at the pain but the reverberation only aroused him even more. He gripped your breasts and used them as handles and fucked your face. “Gonna use you like the cockslut you are.”

He shut his eyes and grunted, profanities falling from his mouth. Tears were falling from the corner of your eyes and your gag reflexed. You could taste yourself around him. He pinched your nipples and you shrieked. “Suck my cock, slut.” He taunted. You swallowed around his shaft. It didn’t take long for him to drive his hips faster and he was ready to burst at any second.

He convulsed and drained his fluids down your throat. He stayed there for a few more seconds until he had no more drop to give and withdrew. You felt void, used and paralyzed. Your body wasn’t yours anymore and no matter how many showers you were going to take, there was no ridding his traces all over your skin.

“Let’s not waste any more time, yeah? We’re going to your new house. I’m gonna keep you as my personal sex slave. You’re gonna have a new life as my fucktoy and you’re gonna learn how to serve me. Get on your feet.”

#steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers angst #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #dark!steve rogers au #dark!steve rogers smut #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x you #dark!steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfic #dub con #non con

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jtrbluv · 4 years

Text

hell-ish | pjm

summary: can be read as a separate oneshot or a continuation of ‘we’re not really strangers’“

“But do you remember when we went on a field trip to that amusement park in 8th grade? Around halloween time? … Yeah, I think that’s the moment I pretty much fell in love with you.“

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, humor, establisedrelationship!au

word count: 7.7k+

warnings: profanity (they are beyond terrified), inaccurate depictions of amusement park shenanigans, neurotic clowns (but they’re acting)

A/N: IM SO SRY ITS LITERALLY NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN ANYMORE GOODBYE DD; in my defense they typically have these typa things open after halloween ends... miss rona just isn’t allowing it this year ofc ;w; a special thanks to @viopera , @koushiningg, and @bangtans-peaceful-piegon for letting me use their likeness, i love u all. and i hope you enjoy this late halloween fic right before thanksgiving break!

The car rolls to a smooth stop. The man in the driver’s seat puts the car into park—turning towards you while placing a reassuring hand on your thigh.

“Hey,” he says, a small close-lipped grin painting across his features, “you excited?”

You reposition in your seat so you can face him, or more specifically, your best-friend-turned-lover—the sight of him smiling causes you to elicit one of your own, your nerves slightly subsiding.

“I am actually,” you admit, “how long has it been? Six? Seven years?”

“Around there I think, but we should probably get going. The lines are probably going to be stupid long like always,” he suggests, his hand leaving your thigh only to ruffle the hair on top of your head, "Here's to new memories Y/N."

You step out onto the pavement—the crisp, cold night air nipping at your cheeks and nose. The cooler temperature serving as a reminder that winter was yet to come and autumn was about to come to a close. You form an O-shape with your mouth, exhaling sharply and seeing your own breath swirling and blending into the air around you.

Footsteps approach you from the side as you shut the car door. Your head whips around to see Jimin walking towards you with a dopey grin plastered on his face. In response, your eyes playfully loll back, a stream of air huffing out of your nose.

You shift your focus back towards in front of you, eyeing the roller coaster that intimidatingly loomed beyond the fence of the park, the drop tower that appeared just as high, and the other neighboring attractions that towered significantly enough to be seen from afar. The whole stretch of the park emitted a red glow, from what you could assume was from the large-scale lighting and technology that was spread out across the expanse.

A soft hand slides its way from your forearm down to your palm, intertwining all in one smooth motion. It was warm and comforting much unlike your frozen, almost entirely numb ones.

“Someone’s a little cold aren’t they,” he teases, using his other hand to attempt to rub more warmth into yours.

“You know my hands are chronically cold,” you pointedly whine, causing small clouds of air to shoot out of his mouth and nose due to his laughter.

He locks the car and you two begin making your way towards the entrance—from what seemed like a mile, in reality, was only a block away. There was practically no gap in between the two of you the entire time, taking advantage of each other’s body heat amidst the numbingly cold weather.

The wait wasn't too shabby, but you knew it was because time always seemed to pass by so much faster when you were with him, most of the pastime consisting of talking about how your past week has been, the fuckton of assignments you two had gotten, and the dangerously high intakes of caffeine you two had consumed as per usual.

The conversation ceased after a while, and it was just the two of you pressed side to side in comfortable silence, hands still intertwined. It was interesting to see such a vast variety of ages all around you—the most common age range were teenagers or people of the same age as the two of you, which wasn’t a surprise. After getting past the ticket booth and security check, you

two finally make it inside.

The first thing you notice is the large, antique carousel that hadn’t changed in the tiniest bit since the last time you were here.

The meticulously decorated entrance—brought to life by the fire torches, heavy-duty fog machines that didn't allow one to see after 10 feet ahead of them, bright lights that were replaced by either no lights at all or a faint red tint, and just the whole ambiance—had greatly juxtaposed the simplicity and familiarity of the carousel that stood in the eye of it all.

The heat of the fire torches allow you to regain some warmth back into your body—you create a small gap in between you and Jimin, in which he pouts and lifts your intertwined hands up to his face, pressing a kiss into the back of your hand.

“So, where do you wanna go first?” He asks, swinging your arm back and forth after passing through the gates.

“I’m fine with whatever,” you enunciate a bit loudly, the usual noises of amusement park shenanigans hindering your hearing.

“You sure about that?”

You click your tongue, “Jimin please, I’m a college student now, not a puny 8th grader anymore,” you argue, watching him turn away as he tries to stifle his laughter, “I swear!”

“Alright! Alright! I’ll believe you,” he eventually caves, frantically waving his hand to dismiss your concerns, “But I won’t believe you until I see it.”

“Oh, so we’re gonna play that game huh,” you retort, brows furrowing as a smirk creeps across your face, “Alright, so what do you think about riding that?” You ask innocently, motioning up towards the drop tower that forced one to crane their neck all the way back just to see the top.

You break your focus as you look back down and turn towards him to gauge his reaction. His jaw dropping down to his knees—eyes widened in complete bafflement and horror.

“Y/N. I am literally going to fucking die if I ride that shit. Oh my god.”

“What do you mean? It’s totally safe! I’ve been on it so many times.” You attempt to console him, knowing it’s futile because of the piercing glare he gives you right after you say that.

“And that’s supposed to make it better how?!"

You soothingly rub the back of his hand in an attempt to ease his nerves, “Of course I won’t push you if you don’t want to, you know.”

He sighs, “Well, now you’re just making me sound like a puny 8th grader.”

“I can assure you that you very much, are not Chim.” And he smirks at that, tightening his grip on your hand, making you wish that you didn't give him that ego boost in the first place because he surely didn’t need any more of that.

You take some time to mull over your options, but instead, go with whatever your gut feeling was initially leaning towards, “Okay, so what if every time you take me to a house, I have to take you on a ride. You get to choose the house and I get to choose the ride.”

He nods in acknowledgment, “I’m listening.”

“Does that sound valid?” You inquire.

He bites on his bottom lip, taking a moment to quickly cogitate between the options you had given him, and at last, he nods, "It sounds like a win-win."

"Or a lose-lose." You chuckle, and he mirrors.

He shakes his head, “I know you like rollercoasters and all that scary shit, but there’s also a ton of stuff that they’ve added since we’ve last been here.” He replies, thinking out loud, while making you feel more content with your decision, “You got a deal ma’am.” He affirms at last—releasing his grip to offer you his hand to seal the deal, in which you confirm resolutely by shaking it.

Just like he said, the amusement park most definitely stepped up their game ever since you both were middle schoolers, navigating the large expanse with a bunch of other measly and equally puny peers.

The deeper you two make your way into the park, the more themed attractions lined the path. At this point, you could barely make out the bottom half of your legs due to the thickness of the fog. Actors were running around left and right—faces decorated with FX makeup that you could barely discern because of the dim lighting—effectively scaring others, clear by the amount of ear-splitting shrieks you've heard in the past ten minutes that was enough to make your eardrums burst.

Jimin takes note of your slight tenseness. He wasn't oblivious and he knew that you were trying to feign nonchalance—but the razor-tight grip on his hand and lack of chatter on your end was saying otherwise. But just like everything you do, he thought it was cute anyway.

He promptly squeezes your hand, making you turn to face him, "Do you want the first pick?"

You hum, "You can have it if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yess," you drag out exasperatedly, "how many times do I have to tell you that I'll be perf– !" You abruptly halt as a zombie (that very much isn't real is what you keep reminding yourself) whizzes past you, brushing against your shoulder and making you jump and trip over your own two feet.

The man beside you is quick to react—leaping in front of you with his arms out so you could fall into his grasp. And you do, gripping his arms to better steady yourself and stand up. As you attempt to straighten yourself out, your head sinks into his chest, laughter erupting out of the two of you to the point where his knees almost give out.

You detach yourself from his chest, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes from laughing so goddamn much. Finally regaining your poise, you immediately slip your fingers back in between his. He cards a hand through his locks with his remaining hand while taking deep breaths.

While tugging him away from where you two were standing to avoid another ruckus... granted that you were at a haunted amusement park, you shout into foggy air, "I'm fine, I'll be fine Jimin! Let's go!", hoping that maybe if you spoke it out into the world, you could manifest it into being true.

Well, weren’t you wrong.

A rare and near impossible feat is what you were able to accomplish: forcing Jimin to make a decision. Despite him already being a trademark libra, you always believed that one of his most standout and consistent libra-esque traits was the fact that he was so indecisive. To which had resulted in him forcing you to make decisions instead of him most of the time, whether they had been trivial or not.

The moment you realized that this "feat" wasn’t much of a feat, after all, was when you two had finally reached the entrance of the first haunted attraction he had chosen, his impulsive and most likely ulterior-motivated driven decision causing you to retract all preceding moments in which where you were being stubborn and indignant in him making the first pick.

Just your luck, his explanation behind his decision (and your almost near-death experience) is that he says and you quote, “Start off with a bang! We get the worst over with now so it’s all smooth sailing for the rest of the night. Trust me.”

For some context, you had a very rational fear of clowns. The year of 2016 was already bad enough as it was—a time in which you had gotten out of your first serious relationship, afterward giving yourself the most horrendous haircut in your entire life because you were emotionally strung and the scissors… well they just happened to be within an arm’s reach.

Later on in said year when you had become a junior and assignments had been piling up higher and higher without any shits given whatsoever, your minuscule fear of clowns had been blown out of all proportions—ultimately fueled by the number of clown sightings around your town and one altercation that you still think about until this day. Four years later, you can still vividly recall the time where you were coming home after studying all day at the local library and on the other side of the street, you had spotted a clown—feet planted to the cement sidewalk, body immobile besides their head that would keep its focus on you as you continuously made your way down the street. As you began to quicken up your pace, the clown began to reciprocate your actions from across the way, and you came to the conclusion that you didn’t really wanna die that night so you sprinted the entire rest of the way home.

And here you two were, at the front of the line standing behind the black curtain entrance—next to a rugged wood sign with the words, CLOWNEUROTICS, inscribed with a dripping, rich red liquid which you surmise was fake blood and not Kool-Aid.

“I cannot believe I let you have the first pick and you do this to me” You quip, chewing the chapped skin of your lips, breath shallow and bated.

“Y/N, you’ll be just fine. I’ll be here right beside you, remember?” he assures you once more, giving you another tight squeeze on your hand.

The curtains swish open, the employee in a simple all-black ensemble motioning the two of you to come inside. You close your eyes, taking one deep and steady inhale before stepping in.

You can barely make out your surroundings, let alone Jimin, who was standing right beside you. The worker’s voice hollers over the deafening noises of the tent. “Follow the path, don’t go backwards, or else you'll hold up the line. And you see that green light?” He asks while pointing to the tiny green bulb that was down the hallway in front of you, “Take a right from there.”

Jimin replies, knowing that you’re too fear-stricken to form coherent sentences at the moment, “Alright, thanks.”

The man nods, and Jimin tugs on your hand as he begins to walk forward. You follow closely behind, reminding yourself to take breaths before you flat out lose consciousness.

As you reach the end of the hallway and the green light bulb the man mentioned, Jimin pauses and turns around to stand in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, I know you hate my guts right now, but I’m sorry in advance and just know that I love you, okay? You have full permission to torture me after this.” He reassures with a wide grin.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too,” you grumble, lips downturned and head hanging low.

You feel his soft lips graze over your cheek, leaving a chaste peck before giving you an airy, irresistible smile that you can’t really help but relent, even though it already feels like your heart is about to implode on itself.

Taking a right, the setting of the attraction comes into periphery. White walls and floors—reminiscent of a hospital, are tainted with blood, a disarray of medical equipment, and severed body parts. You take notice of the vacant hospital beds, sheets crumpled and stained with red. Framed pictures of medical staff were hanging by loose nails, glass shattered, bloody splatters and smears all over the frames, walls, and white tile.

You two reach a doorway, next to one of the hinges was a sign that clearly said, Psychiatric Ward. Well, I guess that explains the neurotics part.

In an attempt to swallow down some of the fear in your throat, you tighten your grip on Jimin’s hand while opting to slither your remaining hand around his bicep.

He takes notice of your actions that were propelled by your increasing fear, and naturally, he can’t help but feel bad, “Hey, you know I’d never let anything happen to you.” He tells you, shaking you out of your slight daze, “You can hold onto me the whole time and stick your head in my shoulder just like you did years ago, I won’t mind,” he teases while booping your nose.

“Alright, let’s just get this over with, please.” You huff out, determined to somehow put on maybe not a brave, but a braver face than what he expects from you.

You manage to fail in a whopping, record-breaking, ten seconds of going inside.

The first jumpscare was so entirely predictable—the thunderous pounds against the wall, the trudging and supposedly neurotic clowns (although clowns are already neurotic enough as they are) had all built up suspense until a head of a clown had shot up from around the corner. Their usual clown features distorted with gashes in their skin and blood dribbling out of the corners of their mouth, clothes ripped and stained. Your entire body violently spasms, a shrill shriek, and an embarrassingly long string of curses leave your lips in a matter of mere seconds.

You don’t even notice the man you’re holding onto folding over in laughter because the clown is still very much still following you even after you turn the corner, but before you can recalibrate and trek forward another clown materializes just sparse inches at your side. Your entire body forcefully jerks back, knocking into Jimin, but the force doesn’t phase him in the slightest as he swiftly brings his arms around your frame to prevent you from falling back.

Next to you, the man’s laughter hasn’t ceased a bit the entire time, and as you quickly dash forward and away from the clowns that you oh-so-wanted to knock a tooth out of, while clinging onto his side, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “Hanging in there?”

“I think I’m gonna murder you before I murder any of these clowns.”

“Noted!” he chimes while playfully bumping his head into yours.

As you two turn another corner, the sight of more clowns banging against vacant windows on either side of you has you wincing, and you could swear you could feel your left eye start to involuntarily twitch. You come to the indubitable realization that amidst dozens of clowns, you are evidently the biggest one here.

The sounds that blaringly elicit from your lips are the nearing equivalent to keyboard smashes with a variety of curse words in between. In short, if you had a swear jar, you’d be practically penniless at this point.

The clowns are quick to take note of your cowardly conduct, using it to their advantage and targeting you specifically—reaching and intruding so eerily close that you’re almost convinced that they’re actually touching you. You cower in their presence, squirming and sinking deeper and deeper into Jimin’s hold as you make your way down the path.

Beads of cold sweat began to assert their own path down your forehead—heart ricocheting against the walls of your chest, straining the cords of your throat because of your never-ending shouts and shrieks of terror upon terror. Your whole body was convulsing and shivering without fault, even when accompanied by the body heat of the man next to you, the harsh lighting of the overhead lights, and the lack of ventilation in this shoddy tent proved to be no match against your bodily functions that were going completely haywire. If you were an Amazon package, you would have a large ‘Caution: Handle With Care’ sign slapped right onto the box.

The pea-sized amount of pride that remains within you is the only thing stopping you from completely losing your shit.

Jimin's laughter—airy and unwavering, tickling the shell of your ear was the only thing keeping you grounded, serving as a constant reminder that at the very least when you might have lost all your pride and composure, you still had him by your side.

Without much forethought, he continues to lay kisses along your temple, clutching you close to his chest and keeping you upright as your knees constantly buckled under the weight of your looming fear, crumbling composure, and the grisly clowns that were most definitely preying on your downfall.

The ten-minute duration—which to you, had felt like a whole lifetime-and-a-half had finally come to a close. Once you were able to discern what you thought was the exit of the tent—the small opening leading to what had looked like signs of civilization, you booked it without hesitation, hastily tugging Jimin with you to the point where he nearly tramples over his own feet and crashes to the floor due to the sheer and sudden force.

You two finally pass through the exit. Feeling as if you had just ran a timed mile in five minutes, your body caves immediately—hunching over, briskly bringing your hands to your knees to support your deteriorating physiological state. The sound of your heavy breathing gets disrupted by Jimin’s laughter. You stand up, straightening yourself out when you realize that other people were starting to make their way towards the exit too, and you two were clearly blocking the way out.

Jimin takes you by the wrist and swiftly pulls you aside as more people start to trickle out of the tent. You two lean against the metal fence, comfortably silent as he lets you catch your breath.

You huff out, taking deep exhales as you speak, "Holy fuck, what even was that?"

"The funniest thing I have ever seen," he shoots back with a smile, slightly breathless as well.

You blink rapidly, body slumping against the fence, still completely cynical and disbelieving in what you had experienced. Biting the inside of your cheek so hard you're pretty sure you left teeth marks, you wipe your sweat with the hem of your sleeve.

"You okay?" he asks softly, closing the gap in between the two of you.

You nod, affirming your composure in hopes that it would solidify it for real. Giving him a smile to ease the nerves you knew he had, you visibly saw his smile widen, and with that, you ruffle his hair, take his hand into your own, and walk a few steps forward before announcing brazenly into the chilly autumn wind,

"Drop zone time."

"Y/N PLEASE—!"

"Don't do this, anything else but this please." He pleads, lips jutting out while childishly tugging on your sleeve.

You groan, "Bub, we had a deal."

He presses his lip together, "I know... but just look at that! How does that even look remotely safe enough for one to ride?" He tries to reason with you, staring up at the attraction that he believes should not even be labeled as an 'attraction' in the first place.

You chuckle softly, shaking your head, "If it was that much of a safety hazard, it wouldn't even exist Chim."

"I will never understand why people ride this out of enjoyment and pleasure. This is insane," he says, his eyes trailing to the long line of people behind the two of you.

"It's three seconds, I swear. Three seconds compared to my ten minutes of cussing and wanting to punch a clown in the face is very reasonable in my opinion. You’ll be just fine, I’ll hold your hand the whole time," you add on.

He quietly freezes in place—eyes fixated on the tower, hands leaving the fabric of your sweater. You feel his warm hand come in contact with yours, the back of his hand grazing your knuckles. Lacing your fingers in between his, he meets your eyes, giving you a timid, lopsided grin. A silent affirmation that had said more than words could’ve. I trust you but I’m still scared shitless.

“You guys are next,” the worker announces, opening the gate and gesturing you two to come inside. Jimin’s smile dissipates, face contorting into a look of mortification at the man’s words—eyes widening to the size of what would be considered as utter shock and lips curling into a form of disgust.

Tugging lightly at his hand, he whips his head towards you, waiting to speak until you two have passed the gate, “Y/N, I’m literally gonna piss my pants like I’m not even joking.”

“Jimin!” you say in a hushed yell, “Please don’t, I know your pride is too precious to you for you to annihilate it by pissing on a ride that even kids go on.”

He scoffs, “Okay fine… but we’re getting churros after this.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, smiling at his tone, “Why would I argue against churros?”

“Hello, miss? Come this way, please,” another worker greets, leading the two of you to two vacant spots of the ride where you presume were going to be yours.

You nod, making your way towards the two seats, hearing Jimin splutter incoherent words and sounds from behind your shoulder.

He immediately plops into the innermost spot, refusing to be on the outermost seat that only had one accompanying seat on one side, albeit it truly didn’t matter. And of course, you don’t tell him that.

Smiling at his overt signs of apprehension, you slide into the spot next to him, beginning to put on the seatbelt over your lap.

Drumming his fingers on his knees, he already has his seatbelt buckled and his over-the-shoulder restraints locked and secured into place.

“Ugh, can these things go any tighter! I can still move under here,” he tuts, vigorously trying to push the restraints closer to his body, yet his attempts are proven to be in vain.

“Bub, they still want you to be able to breathe,” you remind him with a small giggle, your head popping out of the U-shaped bar to look over at him—his brows knit in concentration, nose scrunched, lips tucked into his mouth.

In a final attempt, you hear the man beside you take a sharp and deep inhale, only to hear a tiny click emit from the restraint shortly afterward.

He releases his bated breath, only to come to the realization that he can’t extend his stomach all the way forward, the bar forcing it to come short. He splutters, bringing his hand to cover his face while he coughs only to realize that his arm can’t fully reach around the bar to meet his face.

You watch this entire scene unfold out in front of you—wishing you could do something to help the poor guy, but you already knew your attempts would be pointless in the end as your arms are physically incapable of extending that far. You sink back into your seat to make sure he doesn’t see the fact that you were trying so hard not to laugh.

“Jimin, deep breaths, in and out,” you instruct him as the worker starts to make their rounds around the ride, double-checking for seatbelts and secured restraints.

“Y/N, that’s the problem, I can’t.”

“Try scooting back into your seat,” the worker suggests to Jimin, giving him an empathetic smile.

“What do you mean–oh, erm, thank you.”

She nods, shaking Jimin’s restraint a little more energetically to reassure the man of his safety.

As she leaves, he says to you, “Y/N, I can’t believe you convinced me to go on this.”

“Me too, honestly. I’m really proud of you Chim.” You admit, reaching out a hand towards him in which he takes.

“Three seconds, right?” He reiterates.

“Give or take, yeah.”

“Y/N—!”

Your seats suddenly clatter, signaling the start of your long ascent. Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens substantially, causing you to groan out in pain.

He quickly takes note of the noise, loosening his grip ever so slightly, “Oh my god, sor- oh fucking hell, there’s no going back now?!”

You chomp down on your bottom lip before another sound could escape your mouth—his grip on your hand tightening the higher you two go, “No, no you’re fine, it’s okay..”

“HOLY SHIT WHY ARE WE ALREADY THIS HIGH UP?!” He yelps, kicking his feet against the air—people’s heads starting to look as small as ants, the rest of the park coming into view as if you were experiencing it from a drone’s point of view.

“Dumbass, don’t look down!”

“It’s too late–what the hell, why can I see the whole damn city from here?!” He sticks his head out of his restraint, looking up and trying to find the top, “wHen the FUCK does this shit stop please, Y/N, I cAn’T do this?!?!”

“Chim. Breathe. Deep, steady breaths, okay?” You say while audibly taking breaths so he can do the same.

“Okay, okay,” he says, voice cracking but following suit.

After you think that he finally manages to get a grip on himself, you decide to try to take his mind off the situation at hand, “Jimin, look at the view.”

His breath softens as he begins to take in his surroundings. He could see everything. To him, it feels as if he had the city in the palm of his hand. The rollercoasters that reside next to the tower were practically reaching eye-level to him, and despite the lack of color due to the theme of the park, he thought it was mesmerizing anyway. He marvels at the fact that he could even see past the park—catching a glimpse of the cars zooming on the main highway, minute specks of light emitting from the windows of skyscrapers, people living in their own little worlds in each one, And of course, the envy of it all, the night sky—the dark depth littered with a multitude of stars in their own little patterns and worlds of their own as well.

The overhead speakers trumpet, ripping Jimin out of his trance-like state, “Welcome to the drop zone brave newcomers. I hope you’ve had an enjoyable trip on the way up here. And I hope that your descent is just as enjoyable as well. We will be dropping in... “

Jimin heaves out, “Now that’s just plain rude at this point.”

“Ten.”

“Are you okay?”

He scoffs. “What kind of question is that Y/N?!”

“Nine.”

“Jimin, you’ll be just fine,” You reassure for the umpteenth time.

“I swear if this is longer than three seconds–”

“Eight.”

He frantically kicks the air. “Fucking hell! I can’t believe I’m doing this right now, I miss the ground.”

“Seven.”

“We’ll be back down to earth sooner than you think, I’m telling you.”

“Six.”

“Oh my fucking god, oh my fuck–!”

“Five.”

“Oh fuck, holy shit–!”

“Jimin, I’ll be right beside you–”

“Four.”

“–the whole way.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD?!”

“Thre–!”

Before the countdown can finish, you two plummet, plunging down at great speeds—a feral-sounding squawk leaving Jimin’s lips when it all happens.

He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to see what was going on—letting go of your hand, he opts to hold onto the other handlebar on the restraint instead. His breath is caught in his throat, the ride is moving so fast that he can’t even produce any noise, let alone move his body.

Just like you have been saying this whole night, the ride ends in a blink of an eye. Or more specifically, three seconds, give or take.

Jimin slumps in his seat—fingers still curled so tightly around the handlebars that his knuckles turn pale.

You stick your head out of your restraint, craning your neck to look at him beside you, “Jimin, it’s done, it’s over.”

“Are you sure?” He mumbles.

“Open your eyes.”

His head slowly rises, eyes remaining shut. Cracking one eye slightly open, he loosens his grip on the handlebars before opening his eyes and letting out a deep sigh of relief.

"That wasn't so bad, right?" You beam, waiting for the restraints to be lifted.

"I wouldn't know, I had my eyes closed the whole time," he shyly admits, lifting the restraint off of him and unbuckling his seatbelt.

You two jump out of your seats, heading towards the gate and bidding the drop tower goodbye, juxtaposing afterthoughts lingering in the air.

"That felt so weird, I don't know if I wasn't able to move or if there wasn't enough time for me to react," he chuckles dryly while twining his hand with yours once again.

You smile, "Probably a little bit of both," you suggest, eyes scanning the park for any signs of a churro stand, "but hey, you survived!"

He smiles at that, teeth out and all, "We both did," he assures earnestly, "and now as an incentive, we are getting churros."

Your eyes light up—the sight of the bright neon sign being the next destination of the night. Jimin notices your sudden reaction, quickly looking in the same direction as you and pinpointing the small churro stand from afar.

To your luck, the line isn't very long—people are most likely preoccupied with the multitude of attractions that are only going to be available for this appropriate time of the year, taking advantage of the opportunity before having to wait for an entire year before getting to experience it all over again. But you and Jimin weren't like most people, and you two strongly believed that churros should be indulged in at any time during any situation. And right now, it was being utilized as a form of consolation, just in the shape of a deep-fried pastry sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.

After obtaining your consolation desserts, you two resume your journey around the park. Too preoccupied indulging in your churro, you’re temporarily able to block out the commotion that was occurring around you, keeping four out of five senses focused on said churro and churro only.

“You feel better?” You ask, taking a brief moment to dust off all the cinnamon and sugar off the corners of your mouth.

“Mmhmph,” he incoherently mumbles, after shoving half a churro into his mouth. He abruptly pauses, cheeks puffed up and eyes wide, realizing he can’t talk and instead he nods with a grin as wide as his mouth would allow him to stretch out.

You giggle at his actions, taking your focus off of him to take another bite.

A few moments later, when most of your churros noticeably nowhere to be seen, you ask, “Where should we go next?”

He cinches his brows together, “We probably shouldn’t go on anything to extreme, considering we just ate. How about the ferris wheel?” He suggests, pointing to the attraction that was standing in front of the two of you.

You nod, “You’re right, these workers already go through enough. And we shouldn’t add cleaning vomit to the list.”

He chuckles, “Agreed. Let’s go, the line is pretty short!” He exclaims jubilantly, flashing you a mega-watt grin while pulling you along with him towards the gated entrance.

Leaning against the gate, you two wait for the round of riders that were currently riding to finish, mindlessly scrolling on your phones to pass the time.

The gate entrance opens, tearing your focus off of your phone and back to reality. The enormous and dazzling neon wheel that stood boldly enveloped your vision in replacement of your dim and dark-mode setted phone screen, making you blink a few times to adjust to its harsh hues.

One of the carts comes to a halt, doors releasing as the group of friends inside it begin to grab their belongings and head out. The worker in charge motions you to step inside after they leave, the two of you following suit. When you two become situated and seated, they press a few buttons on their control panel, the doors promptly swinging close. A few brief seconds after, the cart jolts before moving just enough so the other people behind you could board onto the next cart.

The carts reminded you of the teacup ride at Disneyland—built in a circular shape, seats lined around the border with a small gap made for the entrance door, but of course, it was void of steering wheels in the middle. Now that would just be a recipe for disaster, and a solid segue into Jimin vomiting all over you.

He nudges your leg, “It’s so funny to me.”

You turn to him, “What is?”

“Out of all things to do while being here, and we’re riding the ferris wheel,” he beams, a light chuckle leaving his lips, “I don’t know whether to pity us or not.”

“All my pride has left me already and I’m okay with it,” you tut, lips unwillingly curling upward as you replayed the scenes of what had happened earlier at the drop zone, “I wouldn’t talk too much if I were you Mr. ‘I’m gonna piss my pants.” You tease, poking him in the side.

He scoffs, squirming slightly where you poked him, “I am still proud of myself, I didn’t think I was gonna make it up there.”

You turn away, holding in your laughter, “I didn’t think you were either.”

“Hey! Don’t even get me started on you,” he says, nose scrunching and brows furrowing, “those poor clowns were about to get their noses punched in if it wasn’t for me being there. I think your screams and threats were starting to scare them more than they were scaring me.” He fires back, giggles erupting in his throat and interrupting his words.

“I’m not even gonna argue against that. We are so sad,” you say—laughter flaring up in your chest as well, the two of you keeling over so hard the cart begins to swing back and forth.

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Easy there,” Jimin yelps as you two take notice of the movement and immediately cease your actions, hands grabbing the ends of the cart to try to stabilize it.

Just as your cart has moved up enough for you to start seeing an overhead view of the park, he whips his phone out before saying, “Lemme take a picture of you, the view is so nice here.”

As he whips out his phone, you scoot to the other end of the cart as he brings his phone up to his face and focuses it on you. Naturally, you bring your hand up, hand changing to a trademark peace sign as you flashed a smile for the camera. He brings his phone down many lock screen worthy pictures later, happy with the result evident from the grin etched onto his face.

“Your turn,” you say, motioning you two switch spots as you take your phone out of your pocket.

Jimin, infuriatingly photogenic, simply sits while staring off into the distance, jaw on full display as you begin to rapidly snap pictures. Hearing your camera clicks he changes his position—turning towards you as the chilly wind blows through his hair, eyes crinkling and dazzling smile on full display that you can’t help but smile at the familiar yet all too breathtaking sight.

Placing your phone in your lap, you scoot closer to him—leaning your back against his shoulder, you prop your legs up onto the seats. Turning towards you, he snakes his arms around your waist as his chest comes in contact with your back. You let yourself sink deeper into his grasp, conforming into his body as warmth spreads to your fingertips. Your head lulls back, falling into the space right below his collarbones as you stroke the back of his hands gingerly with the pad of your thumbs. He rests his chin on top of your head, the two of you simply admiring the view below.

The ride still hasn’t started—people still boarding the ride as the carts momentarily halt and move from time to time.

Not long after, your cart reaches the very top.

Head peering over the edge, he turns back, “See, why did we have to go on the drop tower when we could’ve went here instead,” he grumbles, the peak of the tower standing nearly just as tall as the highest point of the ferris wheel to the point where you could stare directly ahead of you without tilting your head.

“Well that takes all the fun out of it,” you tease, making him frown, “Hey! You keep forgetting what you made me go through before that. Don’t think I’ve gotten over it that quickly.”

Looking displeased at your answer, he quirks a brow, “You seemed to be fine when we were riding the tower.”

“What can I say, you make a very good distraction.”

“I think I could say the same for you,” he proposes, “I swear I saw some of those clowns turn away and start laughing every time you threatened them. I was like ‘Yes! That’s my feisty girlfriend!” he cheers, pumping his fists into the air. You cower down in embarrassment, grinning to yourself while trying to swat his arm away.

“I feel so burned out already though,” you say, head falling back into his chest, “I think it’s ‘cause we’re here at night.”

“And because you track-starred your way through that entire maze,” he adds.

“That too.”

“I feel it too, we did more walking than anything else to be honest.” He says, which is very much true. The drop tower was all the way on the other side of the park and the churro stand took you guys a whole twenty minutes just to find.

You hum, “Should we head out after this then?”

He rests his cheek on top of your head, “Yeah, if you want to.”

“I feel bad though, it feels like we just got here,” you admit, chuckling into his arm.

He shakes his head, hands reaching over to play with the ends of your hair, “Don’t feel bad, I think we’re still hungover because of midterms. And besides, I’m hungry and I don’t wanna eat a ten dollar hotdog after just eating a stale ten dollar churro.”

“Yeah, we can just eat one dollar ramen, we’re still college students above everything.”

And you truly couldn’t argue with that. “Of course.”

Taking your hands off of his, you prop a hand onto the cart to sit yourself up onto the seats. He releases his hold on you, his arms returning back to his sides as the warmth of your body dissipates to his dismay.

You adjust your sitting position so you could face him—reaching out to take one of his hands into your own. Your eyes bore into his, gazing into the pools of honey that were his irises. The view is slightly obscured as his eyes crinkle.

He smiles, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You don’t even register that he’s speaking to you until he leans in slightly, his features starting to appear bigger as he starts to close the gap between you two. You shake your head once he gets so close in proximity that you could see each crinkle that etches themself on the sides of his eyes each time he grins.

Your eyes flicker to his lips, taking notice of the action as you quickly revert back to his eyes. He smirks

“Thank you for taking me here,” you say as your eyes intently gaze into his once more, “above all the trepidation we’ve put each other through tonight, at least we’re here together.”

He nods, gratitude evident without him having to utter a single word. It’s as if time is frozen, everything around you stagnant and still, eyes boring into each other because nothing could just quite compare to this. Not even the surreal view of the city or the ability to see all the bustle within the amusement park or even the stars that littered the sky.

You press your lips against his. Although you initiated the action, the sensation of his lips against yours, regardless of how natural, sends a flurry of shockwaves down your spine. Your body tingles—as if you’re floating and the cart you were sitting on wasn’t even there to support you.

And he kisses you back. His lips are warm, welcoming, and comforting—like wrapping yourself in your favorite blanket in the comforts of your bed, the indescribable bliss as the fabric consumes your body and runs over your skin.

Kissing him felt even more blissful than that.

The kiss isn’t fervent, but it’s full of longing. It’s as if he’s communicating to you, through the way his lips mesh against yours, that he plans on making up for all the lost time. Time that could’ve been spent doing things like kissing you, loving you wholeheartedly and unashamedly, was spent pining for each other with the label of being ‘best friends’ standing in the way for far too long. He wants to make up for it just as much as you do.

He slides his hand under the crevice of your knee, pulling you closer to him as he continues to kiss you. You bring your hand up to his neck, entangling your fingers into his hair as you lightly scratched at the surface of his scalp.

He kisses you like he’ll never get to again, which isn’t completely false—the fact that you two were so high up in the air to the point where the stars look tangible, basking in each other’s presence and each other’s presence only.

Frustrated at the abnormal layout of the seating, he hooks his arms under your legs—hoisting you up and placing you in his lap so you were straddling him—incognizant of how the cart was starting to dip due to the unequal distribution of weight.

The gesture makes you squeak, and you can start to feel him smile against your lips. Before you could do anything else, the cart totters—rocking a few times before moving, signaling that the ferris wheel is finally beginning its journey.

“Oh fuck—!”

“Oh shit—!”

The two of you immediately detach from each other as you take notice of the unbalance, hurriedly leaping onto opposite sides of the cart while gripping onto the sides for dear life, the cart rocking back and forth at a concerning extent. You sneak glances at each other, your faces painted with the same expression of shock and distress.

Seconds pass and the cart steadies—laughter instantaneously taking over the two of you.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” he says, a little breathless while his body hunched over his seat.

“Remind me the next time we kiss to check if we’re less than a foot above the ground first,” you tease, playfully swatting his knee.

He grabs your hand, pressing a kiss onto your knuckles before shaking your intertwined hands up in the air—obnoxiously shouting into the frigid autumn wind, “Yes chief!”

MASTERLIST

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

#c!tommy critical #c!wilbur critical #my asks #curious anon #long post #history #tw torture #tw manipulation

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amelialincoln · 4 years

Text

Notion

“Hey.” Link was breathless as he brought the final bits of outdoor furniture into the kitchen. It was supposed to rain tomorrow and Seattle had become covered in a thick layer of fog that seemed to cling to him as he closed the door to the backyard.

“Everyone headed out?” Amelia asked, scraping the last of the kid’s leftovers into the compost. Link nodded, placing a lingering, cold kiss on her forehead that made her shiver.

“Seemed kinda awkward between Jackson and Winston.”

“Well, it’s not Maggie’s fault that Jackson’s dated every person in a fifty mile radius,” she responded bitterly.

“This is true,” Link nodded.

“What’s going to make things worse is that she’s going to have to explain that all of us are mourning her other ex’s death,” she added grimly.

“No,” Link’s voice was soft. “I thought he pulled through.”

“Richard just called me to see if I wanted to join a meeting on zoom tonight, everything fell apart and Teddy and Owen couldn’t save him.” Tears were starting to fill her eyes. Deluca hadn’t spent much time on her service recently but he and Sam were pivotal when she was working on Kimmie’s tumor. When it came to her own tumor, she was surprised how much Deluca had shown his support.

“So, he’s just gone?” Unlike Amelia, Link hadn’t experienced a whole lot of death.

“Yeah.” He pulled her into his chest and rocked gently. It almost hurt how nice it was to see the few people that had come over today. Despite the house they were living in being chaos, the couple had never felt more isolated and alone. “I had to tell Zola that Mer might possibly not wake up.” Amelia whimpered. “She was so strong. She doesn’t want to worry Bailey and Ellis so she told Maggie and I not to tell them. If anything happens to Mer, Derek made Kathleen their godmother, I can’t watch these kids get shipped off to New York, they’ve had it hard enough.”

“I know, babe,” Link sighed, pulling her in closer.

“I have to go feed Scout, my boobs are gonna explode,” Amelia finally shed herself of Link’s arms after a couple of blissful moments. “Can you read to Zola and Bailey? I can handle Ellis because she’ll get like five stories out of you if I let you go in there.” Link chuckled.

“You’re probably right.”

[][][]

“Auntie Amelia.” Amelia was relieved to be greeted with a sleepy voice as she stepped into the pink monstrosity that was Ellis’ room.

“Hi Elle belle.” She smiled in response to the little girl’s arms reaching towards her. “Come on sweetheart, let's pick some pjs.”

“Can you make it a surprise?” Ellis asked in a way that made Amelia’s ovaries explode and she found herself wondering what Link would think about trying for a girl. Hormones, Amelia, focus. “What about these?” She suggested, holding up a pair of pastel blue Moana pajamas. Ellie nodded happily, squealing as Amelia tugged them over her pudgy arms.

“Can we read the cookie mouse story?”

“Of course,” Amelia grinned. “It’s not like we haven’t read it every day this week.” She lowered herself gently down onto Ellis’ bed. Recovery hadn’t been the easiest when chasing three children around the house and caring for a newborn. Link had pulled out Amelia’s stitches the night before, using his phone’s flashlight, since neither of them wanted to go to the hospital and then go through the trouble of getting tested. She had tried to hide the pain for Link’s sake, tired of him expecting her to be constantly resting, but she hadn’t expected the pain. Link was an incredible ortho surgeon but when it came to the little details, he was sometimes a bit careless.

Amelia closed the door to Ellis’ bedroom as quietly as possible, trying not to chuckle at the little figure sprawled out across her twin bed. For such a small girl Ellis was notoriously known as the most impossible person to sleep with, taking up spaces three times her size. She walked past Zola and Bailey’s room, hearing Link’s animated voice through fits of giggles. He definitely outdid her in the storytelling department, and really in every department, which she tried to not think too much about. Scout was babbling as Amelia entered the familiar room.

“You hungry, big guy?” To Amelia’s relief, Scout had progressed past his grumpy and problematic eating phase. She hugged him into her chest, breathing in his sweet and comforting soft lavender smell from the bubble bath they’d used this afternoon. “My beautiful boy.” She was still in disbelief, even staring down at him in her arms, that he truly existed. As he’d gotten bigger, he’d started to become a perfect combination of his parents. With Link’s strong features, like his nose, and what Amelia could tell would be his jaw, along with her dimple and piercing blue eyes.

“Hey mommy,” Link’s amused voice came from the doorway. “You feeling better?” Amelia wasn’t sure whether he was referring to the soreness in her lower half or the news about Deluca.

“He makes everything better,” she sighed, fumbling with one of the buttons on Scout’s onesie.

“You going to go to that meeting?” Link asked, she could tell he knew something was bothering her. “I already missed it.” She shrugged, glancing at their bedside alarm clock. “I’ll probably just feed him and then pass out.”

“Do you want me to grab the baby wrap, you were lifting lots today already with the furniture.”

“Sure,” she nodded, not feeling like having a conversation about how perfectly fine her arms were. Link nodded, placing a soft hand on her back before rummaging through their closet for the wrap. She was happy to find that Scout latched on easily and without protest, feeling a little guilty about the lack of attention that he’d received today. She knew that people were suffering way more during this time and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for wishing that she, Scout and Link could be spending quality time in their apartment for their maternity leave like planned.

“Lift your arm a bit.” Link ran a soft hand along the side of her forearm as he tied the piece of fabric around her shoulder and managed to wiggle Scout into it, without removing him from her chest.

“Thank you,” she smiled tiredly.

“No problem,” he yawned, practically collapsing into bed beside her. “Fuck, Amelia I’m exhasuted.”

“Me too.” She ran a gentle hand through his hair, tugging out some of the frequent knots that had begun to form since his hair had begun to grow out.

“Is your incision site healing okay,” he groaned into the pillow, melting a bit as she massaged the root of his neck.

“I haven’t checked,” she admitted with a yawn.

“Want me to grab some polysporin?”

“It’s okay, babe, it feels fine.” She sighed slightly, playing with the idea of bringing up a topic that has been bugging her but not wanting to cause an argument that neither of them were up for. “You started drinking pretty early today.”

“Amelia,” Link groaned tiredly. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It was just unnecessary, no one wanted...I’m just worried.” She shifted Scout to the other side uncomfortably.

“It’s not my fault you see addiction everywhere. I had like two beers.” Silence hung thickly in the air and after a couple of minutes Link turned to face her. “I’m sorry. I know it makes you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t really seem to care,” she answered honestly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He replied defensively, tiredness had seemed to leave his body momentarily. “I don’t--”

“The fridge is stocked, Link. It’s like a reminder every time I go to make food. There’s a cooler in the garage for a reason.”

“How am I supposed to know,” he sputtered. “Meredith downs tequila in front of you like this is a frat house. You hang out with our friends when they drink all the time.”

“It’s different when you're surrounded by people. When I’m alone and just staring at a fridge filled with booze it’s hard to not want to take one.”

“Amelia, you haven’t relapsed in years, why would you even--”

“Because I’m an addict, Link!” The increase in volume of her voice caused Scout to shriek in protest. “Don’t you understand that? It doesn’t get easier. It’s a fight every fucking day. And when my boyfriend starts drinking every day at three o’clock in the afternoon, it makes that fight ten times harder.”

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way,” he grumbled.

“Are you serious right now?”

“About what,” he shot back.

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. I thought you’d be considerate enough to validate my feelings instead of acting like I’m being dramatic but instead you’re being a child.”

“Mia,” Link groaned, slamming his head back into the pillow, looking as childish as ever. “You’re--”

“What? Overreacting? The fact that you don’t see this as an issue is concerning.” Scout’s shrieking turned into a full on meltdown as their “perfect” son burst into tears. “Oh, baby, no. It’s okay.” Amelia sighed, finding tears of frustration begin to build at the sides of her own eyes and let out a tiny whimper as she held back any sobs that attempted to be heard. Of course Link noticed, as always, and rolled over to witness the upset state that both his girlfriend and baby were in.

“I am sorry,”

“Show me then,” Amelia hissed through a clenched jaw, wiping away some stubborn fallen tears. “Cause right now I don’t believe you.”

“I’ll put the packs in the cooler tomorrow,” he promised, with a hint of resentment. Amelia shrugged, finally giving up on feeding Scout and bringing him tightly into her chest.

“Hey, it’s okay, mommy and daddy fight sometimes, but everything’s going to be okay. Don’t cry Scout. We love you so much,” she murmured into the crown of his head, causing Link to melt a little inside.

“Are we going to be okay?” Link asked, receiving a teary glance from his girlfriend.

“Not if you can’t get this sorted because I cannot be his mother and also be passed out in a ditch somewhere on opioids.” Link nodded, moving to tug her shirt back into place and took Scout into his own hands, marvelling slightly at the little miracle they had created. “I don’t want to screw him up.”

“You won’t,” he promised her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before grazing her slightly chapped lips. “You’ve been a mother for a month and have already proved that. That’s the last thing we need to worry about right now.” He patted his chest. “Now come to sleep because if we stay up any longer I feel like I might end up on the couch,” he chuckled.

“Don’t give me any ideas,” she replied with a yawn.

“I love you,” he sighed.

“I love you too.”

what did u guys think of 17x07? i did find the beers at like 12 a bit weird and with the upcoming episode’s synopsis “Jo, Jackson and Link play a drinking game” I wonder if Amelia and him will have a conversation about her addiction bc I feel like they haven't really talked about it. lmk what u think!

#amelia shepherd #AmeliaShepherd #amelinkfanfiction #amelink #amelink fanfiction #link #Atticus Lincoln #atticus link #greysanatomy

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seattlesea · 4 years

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Why Solangelo Isn’t A Good Ship (Sorry)

The amount of love I see for Solangelo is honestly kind of surprising???

1. It was only for publicity. The House of Hades- which is when Nico came out as gay- came out late 2013, and the spike for LGBTQ+ supporters and allies was mid-2013, and there was absolutely no foreshadowing or even hints to Nico being gay beforehand. Riordan only confirmed Nico gay to avoid backlash. And in The Blood of Olympus, Nico is openly gay to the readers, Reyna, and Jason, then comes out to Percy and Annabeth afterwards. Then he’s introduced to Will and- in the very next book they’re seen in- they’re in a loving relationship. It’s as if Riordan didn’t believe that having Nico come out as gay was good enough but had to give him a boyfriend to ‘validate’ or ‘confirm’ his sexuality like so many assholes ask LGBTQ+ people to do.

2. It happened way too fast. Will and Nico meet for the very first time and start dating within only five months. What? Not only is that too fast for normal people to actually get into a legit, real relationship that isn’t something out of a cliche high school movie, but Nico came out as gay after being scared to for years, just started slipping out of his isolated and depressive state, literally had to learn how to socialize after being alone for 3+ years, just came out of a war and even Tartarus with truck loads of PTSD that would take years to fully recover from, and just started gaining a family and friends and had to learn how to accept help and comfort from others. Tell me- how many soldiers who just came back from war are concerned about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend/datefriend? Nico’s story in BoO should’ve been about his recovery, not getting a boyfriend. I mean, he met Will for the first time and immediately started liking him, and they didn’t have any meaningful conversations whatsoever. All they did was bicker. Even in The Tower of Nero, they didn’t show any actual mutual understanding of or true affection towards each other. They didn’t talk about anything deeper than the shallow end of a pool, about each other, or even how they got to be in a relationship. They were just kind of there, reminding the readers that ‘Hey, I’m Rick Riordan and I added a gay couple to the main cast! I’m great!’

3. It was too fast for the readers. People often forget that the speed of relationships in books aren’t only about canon, but what the readers see as well, cause what good is a relationship if the fans didn’t see any of it? That’s not going to help us like it, it’s just going to confuse and annoy us. We want to see how the relationship formed, grew, and developed from a platonic friendship, acquaintance, or ally into a mutual romantic liking. If we don’t see that, the relationship is just boring and dull. Seeing the development of the relationship is what helps the readers gain a true connection and emotional bond to it. If we don’t get that, the relationship is as good as a blank page. And it’s not only that, but it’s also flat-out bad and lazy writing. Will and Nico met for the first time in BoO, talked like twice and only bickered and argued (as if that’s the start of a super healthy relationship), then in The Hidden Oracle, they’re suddenly a loving couple? What?

4. The mental illness problem. I’m sure most of you know of the disgusting and ableist stereotype that the struggle and trauma of people with mental illnesses (especially depression, anxiety, and PTSD) magically wash away after they meet their romantic partner, right? Like the teenage girl who’s having a panic attack in school, gets noticed by her crush, and is all of a sudden fine cause he touches her hand and they make eye contact? Or the girl who’s super insecure about herself but gains confidence after her boyfriend compliments her? Or the person with depression magically gets happy again after getting a partner? The same thing happened with Solangelo. At the end of The Blood of Olympus, Nico isn’t yet fully happy, but has gained the things that can make him so- a family, friends, acceptance, support, love, etc. But, after talking to Will (who’s a doctor, may I add) for the first time, all of Nico’s negative thoughts, anxiety, sadness, depression, etc. vanished and all his thoughts were replaced with ‘Will this’ and ‘Will that’. And in ToA- only five months after the war with Gaea- Nico is perfectly fine? As if all that pain and trauma could wash away in only five months? And this isn’t the first time this has happened in HoO. The same thing happened with Leo- he struggled with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. but after he met Calypso all those internal struggles magically washed away and he was happy only after getting a girlfriend, so it’s obvious Riordan isn’t exactly avoiding this hurtful stereotype.

5. It ruined their characters. Before meeting Will, Nico had a lot going for his character, a development that didn’t need to be completed with a love interest. He was realistic, relatable, and overall one of the best written characters in HoO, and his trauma and struggles were actually really well-written. But, after he met Will, the entirety of his character was ‘Will Solace’s boyfriend’. That’s all Riordan wrote about after he and Will communicated for the first time. Nico didn’t even talk to Reyna, Hazel, Percy (besides telling him he had a crush on him, which- again- is just another part of his love life), etc., and the only time he did talk to someone else (Jason), all he thought about was Will and how he was ‘disappointed’ that it wasn’t him. All of Nico’s character arc, struggles, relatability, and everything else Riordan worked up to his character was destroyed to make room for his love life. As for Will, he was actually quite a cool character- driving around Manhattan on a motorcycle, fighting in the Battle of Manhattan, protecting Camp Half-Blood, sewing Paolo’s severed leg back together, healing Annabeth’s poison knife wound, etc., plus all the cool powers he must’ve had as a son of Apollo. Even his personality was interesting- extremely caring, too dedicated, intelligent, calm, patient, etc., and I was really hoping to see him at his full potential in HoO. But Riordan ditched all the potential Will had for ‘Nico di Angelo’s boyfriend’. Even their personalities were washed away for cute pet names and teasing.

6. The fandom ruined their characters. This was really annoying. At first I mildly disliked Solangelo, but after the fandom’s take on it, I couldn’t stand it. The fans completely destroyed Will and Nico. I mean- is there any post about Will that doesn’t involve Nico in it at one point or another? And there are barely any posts about Nico that doesn’t involve Will or some other male character like Jason or Percy or that doesn’t mention his sexuality. I get that they’re dating, but that doesn’t mean they’re completely dependent on each other now. Another problem is their personalities. The fandom portrays them extremely inaccurately. Will isn’t a super upbeat, cheerful, bright, outgoing, happy-go-lucky guy. He’s actually a serious and determined hard-worker who just cares a lot about people. Just because he’s the son of the sun god and has blond hair and blue eyes doesn’t mean he’s the definition of ‘happiness’. As for Nico, the fandom just gave him a whole new personality as well. I mean- Nico swooning or blushing cause Will called him ‘Sweetheart’ or some other cliche pet name? What? Since when? Solangelo was bad on its own, but the fandom just ruined it completely.

7. Y’all only like it cause it’s gay. Sorry to be the one to say this, but if the majority of you hate Jiper after reading a whole series on them where they actually talked to each other besides about their physical health because it happened ‘too fast’ (which, I agree, it did) but love Solangelo after barely two paragraphs? Why aren’t any of you guys complaining that that went too fast? The reason is pretty obvious. This is a problem most fandoms have- they only like ships (especially canon ships) no matter how unrealistic, unhealthy, or toxic it is because it’s gay. If Nico was straight and Will was a girl but everything else went exactly the same, y’all would’ve hated on it in a heartbeat, but because it’s two guys... yay Solangelo???

I’m gonna get cancelled-

#solangelo #heroes of olympus #percy jackson #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo isn't that great #stop acting like it is #just cause its gay #ship

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marvelfansince08love · 4 years

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“If this is your attempt at pushing me away, it won’t work” - Cordelia Goode x Reader

Word Count: 2724

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt 30 - “If this is your attempt at pushing me away, it won’t work”

A/N: @regal-roni I hope you enjoy this love! Also, I’m apologising in advance because uhhh- hehe I may have made this angsty as fuck. Thanks @imnotasuperhero for giving me your angst approval and I’m sorry I made your heart squeeze.

Warning: Hold onto your hearts people, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

Tags; @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @muted-stoneheart @saucy-sapphic @coconutlipss @witchxaf

Also enjoy this foxxay gif that I do not own!

Prompt 30

You met Cordelia at your coffee shop one late evening just before close. A figure dressed in black with the most blinding smile and bouncy golden locks rushing towards you.

“Oh no! Are you closed?” She had asked, slightly out of breath. You could see the tiredness in her chocolate browns and the brush of a darker shade under her eyes indicating the lack of sleep. If you weren’t paying such close attention you probably wouldn’t have noticed due to her beautiful pearly whites; as she throws you another smile.

“I’m afraid we are.” You confirm with some sympathy. This woman clearly needed a coffee or two. The now small frown and grimace on the strangers face makes you backtrack hating to see such an expression on a beautiful woman. She smiles her thanks and begins to turn away but before she can leave your brain caught up with itself.

“But the pot is still brewing inside, if you would like a cup. On the house.” You rush out, not wanting this mysterious woman to leave. She turns back around and sighs in relief and whispers “Thank you, I’d love that.” before following you into the shop. One cup turned into three and before you knew it the night had gotten darker and the usual busy streets of New Orleans had grown quieter. .

“Oh god, I’ve kept you from finishing. I’m so sorry please let me at least pay for the last cup.” She insisted, digging into her purse. You place a hand gently on top of hers pausing her search.

“It’s okay, I much preferred the company over sleep anyway.” You reassure, with a teasing smirk. She bites her bottom lip softly as she eyed your hand.

“Okay, well at least let me pay for dinner. Tomorrow night?” She offers, copying your smirk.

“Oh so forward, Ms.Goode. I could be in a very committed relationship for all you know.” You joke, watching her laugh loudly her hand landing on top of your own across the table.

“Darling, if you were in a committed relationship. This spark between us wouldn’t be glowing as bright as it is in this very moment,” She states, confidently. Her fingers brushing lightly across your own making you blush at her statement, knowing how true it is.

“So tomorrow night?”

That was over a year ago and things had been getting better and better with each passing date and heated kiss. You had discovered during that first meeting that Cordelia runs the academy for gifted young witches across town as headmistress which you still tease her to this day for.

“Oh do you have an office, headmistress. I’ve always wanted to have sex on a desk.” You’d teased her a few months back making her laugh and shake her head at your vulgar comment but you saw the lustful glint in her eyes.

The dates had turned from dinner to late evening drinks to sleepovers at your apartment downtown whenever Cordelia could get away from the school for the night. However, whenever you mentioned staying over at the house while you lay next to each other in your large bed, Cordelia was quick to reject the idea and would change the subject. You knew about the school and its purpose, everyone did since Delia aired it all on television but you masked your hurt and put it down to having so many girls running around the school and with her being headmistress it didn’t give the right impression to have a woman sneaking out in the early hours.

Some of the older girls knew about your relationship with their friend/supreme and would come by the shop most days for their daily coffee run, apparently teaching young witches everyday requires a lot of caffeine and they got to meet you, which in their opinion was bonus as it was nice to get to know the woman who’d been keeping their friend/supreme in a daydream with a secret smile on her face most days around the academy.

“She just has this light glow around her whenever we mention you… it’s pretty gay if you ask me but whatever, you’re kinda cool so I guess it’s cute.” Madison had commented one day in the shop, fighting back a genuine smile.

Over the last few weeks though, you started to feel that Cordelia had been avoiding you in some way. Your usual meet up twice a week at the coffee shop seemed to stop, the reasons valid as she did run a school after all but when the texts stopped or where the bear minimum and the other cup across from you grew colder after every passing minute you realised her not turning up wasn’t just because of her duty as headmistresses, she was avoiding you. That’s when you decided to show up at the academy, determined to speak to her in person and not through rushed phone calls. You approach the black gates cautiously, the aura around the building so strong you feel an overwhelming sense of power before even stepping foot onto the grounds.

‘Maybe this was a bad idea.’ You doubt to yourself as the gates begin to open in front of you.

You approach cautiously to the front door and knock, hoping that Cordelia answers. The door creaks open revealing one of the familiar faces that you’re used to seeing at the shop. Zoe stands by the door looking a little sheepish.

“Oh, hi Y/N. Does Cordelia know you are here?” She asks, her eyes darting around looking at anything but you. You frown at her sheepish behaviour. Usually, Zoe is the first one to approach you at the shop with a welcoming smile.

“Uh, hey Zoe! No, but I was hoping to speak with her, if she’s here?” You inform, trying to look over her slender shoulders into the hallway. Zoe begins to speak but the familiar voice of your lover beats her to it.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Delia asks, as Zoe slips away back into the house.

You take in her tired figure, her eyes no longer holding that sparkling glint. She tries to hide the wince as she leans heavily against the doorframe making you frown with worry.

“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced, I just needed to see you. I’ve been worried about you and clearly I was right to be,” You murmur, eyeing her slouched posture as she keeps a protective hand across her waist. She smiles reassuringly at you, trying to ease your worry but you know her too well now to be so ignorant to her quiet suffering.

“Delia, what’s wrong?” You question, leaving no room for protest. She shakes her head softly, again dismissing your concern.

“It’s nothing, darling. I haven’t been feeling well, is all. I’m sorry to have worried you.” She brushes off, reaching her other hand out to brush against your cheek. Her teary eyes dart across your face, as if taking in every detail lingering to memorise every freckle, every lash.You lean into her touch, craving the contact from her. Your eyes lock with her honey browns, searching for answers to her behaviour but she remains silent for a moment her lips twitching into a small smile before leaning in closer.

“How about a coffee?” She questions, removing her hand from your cheek and quickly wiping her own. “ I’m sure we have lots to discuss.” She states, stepping back into the house allowing you access. You step into the school and gape at the tall white walls full of aged paintings and grand staircase, wringing your fingers suddenly feeling inferior by the powerhouse that your lover runs.

A soft hand wraps gently around your own stopping your nervous habits before pulling you further through the oddly quiet house. Her hand is tight around yours, as if needing it to anchor herself, but you decide not to ask about her health again knowing you won’t get the answer you are after, the truth.

“Where are all the girls today?” Cordelia smiles gently and side glances at your awe expression as you take in more of the mystery house.

“A school trip with Myrtle and Queenie and some of the other girls like to use their free time shopping in the town centre. If you ask me, they just like to get out without me hovering over them.” She jokes, squeezing your hand to regain your attention from an old black and white photo showing a group of young witches.

“Those girls adore you Delia, I’m sure it’s just teenage girls wanting some freedom on the weekend like every other teenager.” You comfort, smiling knowingly at her mother hen instincts and how protective she can be over her own. She bumps her shoulder lightly against yours for teasing her a little before pushing open a large door.

“Is this your office?” You murmur, looking around the large room with glass panelled windows behind a wooden desk. You raise your eyebrow at the desk eyeing Delia, who stands by a drinks cabinet, pouring the brown liquid into two whiskey glasses. She smirks at your subtle nod at the desk joke you made a few months back as you walk over to her, taking the offered glass before sitting on the long white plush sofa gestured to your right. Delia sits elegantly in the oval chair across from you, confusing you at her attempt to keep some distance. Her eyes follow your movements as you take your first sip of the brown liquid.

“I want to apologise again for not messaging you, Y/N. I was being a coward by avoiding you and thinking it would work. I didn’t take into account your feelings and that was wrong of me.” She apologises, before taking a quick sip of her drink for dutch courage. You place yours onto the glass table that fills the gap between the two of you.

“Cordelia, I’m not a child. If you wanted to stop this, you could have just said so instead of stringing me along. I really like you Delia, like a fucking lot actually. I thought we were going somewhere with this,” you confess, your voice quiet and full of doubt. Thoughts spiral in your mind, doubt creeping in as you come to the conclusion that Delia may not reciprocate those feelings.

“I… Y/N, I like you a lot too. But I... I don’t think this is going to work. We are two very different people and not to mention your human.” She pauses as she processes her next words, her eyes full of sadness. “ I don’t think you realise just how fragile that makes you and I can’t always be around to protect you Y/N. So, I think we should end this before we get in too deep. I’m sorry darling.” Her chin trembles as she fights back her tears, her regal posture slouches as she leaves her chair and moves to crotch in front of you as you continue to stare at the white wall trying to collect your thoughts as tears fall freely. Her forehead rests softly against your knees as you blindly place your hands on top of her blonde locks.

“You knew this from the beginning… Why did you bother pursuing me? Did you think it would be funny, see if you could get the boring ol’ human girl to fall in love with you?” You say, suddenly feeling angry by her words. She lifts her head back shocked by your accusation and stands abruptly making you copy her position, leaving you both standing off to one another.

“You know that’s not true, Y/N. Don’t be so childish, I’m just trying to be realistic here. We tried and it didn’t work, why is this so hard for you to understand?” She spats, her hands gesturing wildly. “You know, you are just proving my point Y/N. You are so ignorant to everything around you, I’m the fucking supreme that comes with a lot of enemies and I can’t be concerned about you while also trying to protect the coven. I’m sorry you can’t seem to take this break up in a mature way.” She huffs.

“Why are you being like this?” You whisper, hands sagged to your side, defeated.

“I’m being a realist, Y/N. Maybe you should try it sometime.” Her words are harsh, as she holds your gaze, no longer showing those sweet signs of affection. You hold her gaze a little longer hoping to see her falter and retract her hurtful words but nothing else is said, which leaves you with your answer. You laugh humorlessly before heading for the office door, your hand wraps around the door handle before pausing.

“If this is your attempt at pushing me away, it won’t work.” You inform, loud enough for her to hear.

“Y/N, I’m not..ugh.” The painful groan that fills the room makes you turn quickly towards the source of the sound as you watch in terror Cordelia hunching over in pain, holding her stomach area tightly.

“Delia!” You launch forward ready to help her settle onto the long sofa you were previously sat on.

“Hey hey, you're okay. That’s it breath for me Delia, that’s my girl.” You comfort, whispering softly while brushing wild strands of blonde hair from her now pale face. Her eyes glossy as she watches you move to fill a glass of water for her. You gently tip the water into her mouth while she holds onto your wrist delicately whispering her gratitude, you stay crouched in front of her keeping a close eye on her as you take away the now empty glass.

“What’s going on Delia, I want the truth this time.” You enforce, brows furrowed in worry. She drops your gaze as she plays with the rings on your fingers, collecting her thoughts.

“When a new supreme raises the other must fall.” Her words full of strength and sorrow as free falling tears spill onto her pale cheeks.

“I.. I don’t understand. You’ve only been supreme for what five years, you must have gotten it wrong... No, no this isn’t happening. We gotta talk to Myrtle, she’ll know different. You can’t die Lia you… you-” The soft hand placed on your cheeks stops your rambling, knowing eyes fall onto your own broken ones as silent tears fall between you both.

“But we haven’t had enough time together,” you whisper weakly, leaning into her touch. The feeling of her skin against your own giving you the only comfort that’s available while Delia regains her strength from her dizzy spell. She smiles tearfully, brushing her thumb over the escaped tears.

“Then let’s make the most of it, I don’t want to spend my last how many months on earth avoiding you and regretting it.” Her eyes full of thought as she processes her next thought. “Let’s go somewhere, anywhere. I’m just so tired of all these negative thoughts and feelings, I want to fill these months with good, happy memories, with you and my girls, but I understand if you want to let this go now to avoid the hurt later on...” She murmurs leaning her head into the cushion, her face turned towards your own, suddenly vulnerable. The sudden urge to protect her and give her everything she wants overwhelms your instincts, making you launch forward to capture her wet lips with your own in a silent promise.

“I am going to make you the happiest woman, Cordelia Goode. I’m not going anywhere, you have me for as long as you are breathing and walking on this earth.” You vow against her salted lips.

There are still so many things left unsaid but in this moment you are willing to savour your time with this woman and be with her, to remember every twitch of her nose, every sparkle in those brown eyes and most importantly, giving her every reason to smile that breathtaking smile until she can no longer bear it. Because Cordelia Goode deserves all the happiness in the word and if the world can no longer keep her in it, you will be damn sure to give her everything in it and more for as long as you walk on it with her.

I’m sorry🙃x

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #cordelia foxx x reader #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson #ahs apocalypse #my work

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potterology · 4 years

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fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee

- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)

- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute

- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools

- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way

- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)

- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~

- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too

- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure

- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!

- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’)

- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head

- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh

- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)

- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe

-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl

-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream

- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls

- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol

- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)

-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)

- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before” I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy

- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT

- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god.

-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me

- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE

- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)

- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it

-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee

- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute

-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW

- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)

- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!

- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’))

- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love

#do you like Brahms?#do you like brahms #there are more scenes and I will prob go back and add them #I'll shut up soon but I need to talk about it as a form of release lmao #anyways if y'all got dylb thoughts feel free to talk to meeeeee hehehe #also making this list made me realize that Kim min Jae really lives in my head rent free #HIS ABSOLUTE POWER OVER ME #and of course eun bin was just oh so good #I added more #sorry if u reblogged already but I keep remembering more scenes that I love #Audrey

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tomspancakes · 4 years

Text

This Way: Part 5

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 4557

Warnings: Dickhole Tom

Summary: Uncharted filming is postponed and Tom comes back home.

A/N: Please lmk if you’re enjoying this series or have any constructive criticism for my writing! Don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the taglist (if i can even make it work lol) Enjoy part 5, loves :)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

+++

“What the fuck. She’s actually crazy! We have to do something about this. I mean she’s literally blackmailing Tom into staying with her!” Harry said loudly.

“Shhh, I don’t want the other boys to hear.” You said trying to quiet him down, “I know it’s crazy, but Tom and I said we’d figure out a way for her to stay quiet or something I don’t know. But the only thing we can do right now is let him stay with her.”

“But-”

“No, Harry, if you do anything she’ll expose Tom and I. E-even though we’re broken up I’m not ready for people to go digging into my past life. We’ll figure something out I promise.” He nodded understanding how much you cared about your privacy.

“Hey Harry and y/n. You guys down to-” Haz came into the living room and saw your puffy eyes and bruises forming on your left arm where Allana grabbed you. It was still a mystery that she was able to bruise you, “Oh what the hell happened, are you ok y/n?” He said very concerned and picked up your arm to examine it.

“I’m ok,” You laughed, “Just a little accident when we were coming into the house.” You said trying to not mention Allana.

“Oh it was definitely far from an accident. Allana came looking for Tom and she was-”

“Harrison! We have to go outside! Allana is going psycho on y/n and Harry!” Tuwaine came running down the stairs to show Haz the security footage, “Oh, oops… I thought this was going on now…” You all laughed.

“Anyway, Allana is way crazier than we thought, guys. She was trying to accuse y/n of trying to take Tom, calling her a ‘stupid whore’ and such. Well you can see it in the security footage. We can’t let her near y/n if she comes back.” Harry said and the boys nodded crossing their arms like they were your body guards and your heart melted.

“Aw you guys are gonna make me cry, love you guys,” They smiled at you, “but I can take care of myself. She’s just being a jealous girlfriend.”

“Uh no. more like a fucking psychopath.” Harrison said sassily and the boys agreed.

“Ok whatever she is, it doesn’t matter. You guys also can’t tell Tom what happened. We all know he’d come back in a heartbeat if he finds out.” The boys looked at you with a face like, ‘what the fuck?’.

“He left to have some time for himself so we’ll give it to him. Plus he’s gonna start filming in a few days so we can’t distract him from his work.” The boys agreed because you made a valid point.

“As soon as he gets here though I’m gonna tell him to break it off with her.” Harrison said sternly and you got a little nervous about that.

-*One week before lockdown*-

It’s been a few days since Tom had left. Tom tried to reach out to you a few times, but you wouldn’t budge.

You were beginning to get nervous hearing about the restrictions of travel to the US and your manager, Stacy, called.

“Hey y/n how’s it going?”

“Well, I’m sad filming was cut short, but I guess I could use a break. I’m trying to find a plane ticket home, but they’re so hard to find since everyone is trying to go back to the states now.” You said nervously.

“Yeah, y/n, here’s the thing. I don’t think you should come back home.”

“What? B-but what about my family?” Your manager sighed.

“Look, you were gonna be gone from home for a few months already, if you stayed it’d be like the same thing. And who knows? You may even start filming in 2 weeks like they said. Plus it’s really not safe to travel at this time. I don’t want you to get sick and I’m sure you don’t want to get anyone in your family sick.” Stacy was making really good points, you sighed and nodded, “I’m sorry, y/n, just try to come to terms with it.”

“Ok will do, Stacy. I’ll talk to you later.” She gave you an apologetic smile and hung up. You were upset, but at least you wouldn’t be alone right? Quarantining with 4 other boys was going to get real interesting… especially when one of them is your ex.

“Everything alright, Y/n?” Harry sat next to you on the couch. You shook your head and rested it on his shoulder.

“I can’t go back to my family because of the virus.” He looked at you apologetically and rubbed your back.

“It’s gonna be ok you have me, Harrison, Tuwaine, and Tom will probably be home soon.” You nodded and felt a sense of comfort knowing Tom would be back soon.

- In Berlin, Germany-

Tom got a text from the producers for the entire crew to meet in the hotel lobby. Tom already had an idea of what was about to happen. As soon as everyone got there the director, Ruben Fleischer spoke.

“Thanks for coming down everyone, I assume you already know what this announcement is about. We’re going to have to postpone all production of Uncharted until it is safe to return. I suggest that you make your way home soon since travelling restrictions are getting worse.” As soon as he finished talking Tom got a text from his assistant, Ben, saying that he already booked Tom a plane ticket last night because he heard the news beforehand somehow.

Tom was sad that he’d have to leave doing what he loves most, but he was excited to go back home and see you and the boys. He thought of this as a nice little break, then he remembered he had to deal with Allana and he sighed.

He sent a text to a groupchat called, “y/n and divs,” (which consisted of everyone in the house) saying he’d be going back home now.

- Heathrow Airport -

Tom tiredly tried to hail a cab until a familiar car pulled up in front of him.

“Hey, Tommy.” Tom's eyes widened. How the hell did she know he was coming back? “Hop in, baby.” He gulped and walked into the passenger seat.

“How’d you know I was coming back?” Tom asked, a little freaked out.

“I had Ben update me since you weren’t responding to any of my texts or calls for three fucking days! Which we really need to have a chat about.” She said getting mad, then she breathed out trying to calm down and cleared her throat, “I’m just worried about you, Tommy.” She smiled at Tom and kept driving.

“Sorry I was really busy with work and they needed me to come to set early.” He lied, hiding the fact that he was trying to get away from her. He texted the, “y/n and divs,” group chat,

Tom: Hey, just landed. Allana picked me up. She's taking me back to her flat, I’ll try to be home before 8

Harrison: Oh shit good luck lol

Tom looked confused at the text. Did Harrison know something?

Tom’s heart sped up when he saw that you texted, but in a private chat.

Y/n: Make good decisions… Be safe please x

It’s the only thing you’ve said to him in a few days. He knew you’d come around eventually and your concern for his safety made him smile. ‘Wait, why is everyone texting me like embarking on a dangerous adventure?’ He thought.

“Who’re the texts from?” Allana asked.

“Oh uh nobody.” Tom quickly deleted his messages with you just in case Allana would see.

“Bull shit.” She said sternly and snatched Tom’s phone, “Ugh why does Harrison hate me so much?”

“Allana what the fuck you’re driving! What the hell is going on? You’ve been really cr- uh different since the dinner.” Her mood went from mad to sad in 0.0002 seconds as she pulled over. She sighed and said innocently,

“I-I’m sorry, Tommy. I-I guess I’ve just been so insecure ever since y/n showed up and I don’t want to lose you because you're such a great guy. And it really hurt that you left without telling me because it was our 5 month anniversary.” Tom’s eyes widened because he forgot about that and began to feel bad and sighed.

“Allana, why didn’t you just tell me that? You have no need to worry either, Y/n and I aren’t getting back together.” Tom hurt himself when he said that. He wished he could get back with you, but you just wanted to be friends. Allana perked up right away and leant over the console to give him a long kiss, but Tom cut it short, still not able to trust her. She cleared her throat and began to drive again.

“I’m going to use the loo really quick, then we can go pick up some dinner.” Allana said. Tom nodded and decided to check his security cams since he hasn’t in a while. He casually scrolled through the usual footage of the mail men and people coming into/ leaving the house, that is until he saw a video of Allana going to sit on the porch and noticed it was from the day he left. His blood began to boil when he saw Allana yank you back and say all those mean things to you.

The driver door swung open, “Ok, ready to-”

“Allana what the fucking hell is this?” Tom hissed and showed Allana the footage. Her eyes went wide,

“First off you left me without any warning. I’m your girlfriend, Tom! Second you didn’t answer any of my texts or calls on our 5 month anniversary. Third it really seems like you weren’t trying to stay away from y/n, don’t even think for a second I didn’t see what Tuwaine posted.” Tom looked at her confused, she groaned and pulled up the picture of you laying across all the boys. “Care to explain? Because I’m very close to exposing your little secret.” She said darkly.

“Allana, jeez that was before you started this insane ‘deal’ of yours. I swear.”

“Hm, you got lucky this time Tom.” She snarled. Tom was getting fed up,

“That’s it. You called y/n really rude things and would have hurt her. I can’t do this anymore you’re insa-”

“Ohp stop right there, Tommy, if you’re trying to break up with me right now remember that the ball is in my court.” Tom furrowed his brows in anger, “If you do I’ll make the story worse. I’ll go straight to TMZ and along with your past relationship I’ll tell them that you and y/n were fucking behind my back. I’ll make sure to ruin both of your careers.” Tom stayed silent.

“Oh, Tommy, don’t look so sad.” She said in a baby voice.

“I need to go. I can’t be around you right now.” Tom got out of the car and retrieved his luggage. She yelled behind him,

“Don’t forget about what I can do, Tom. I want you back at my flat tomorrow.”

Tom walked to his friend Connor’s house which was only two blocks away and knocked on the front door.

“Hold on I’m coming!” The door swung open, “Tom? Mate, it’s been so long you ok?” They bro hugged before Connor let him in.

“No actually, I uh came here for some info…” Connor raised his brow, “about Allana.”

“Oh shit, Tom. I told you you should’ve left her as soon as possible.”

“Yeah I know. I-I don’t know why I didn’t listen to anyone. I guess I just wanted to be with someone.” He sighed and his mind went to you as he plopped down on the couch.

Connor patted his back and sat next to him, “It’s ok you’re not the first guy to have troubles with Allana. Well, what’d you want to know?”

“Every single detail of her last relationship.” Tom said sternly.

“Thanks for giving me a ride home and for telling me everything, mate. I owe you.” Tom said, giving Connor a bro hug over the console.

“Don’t even worry about it. You already got yourself in quite a pickle.” Tom laughed tiredly and turned to walk to the house.

“Hey guys I’m home.” Tom said in a very unenthusiastic way. Nobody came to greet him or anything, he heard voices upstairs and decided to check it out.

“Bro, that’s sick! Do it again.” Harrison said amused.

“Haha alright I will, give me a second. Y/n, are you recording now?” This time it's a familiar American voice that’s coming through the phone. Tom walked into your room to see all the boys huddled behind you at your desk. He knocked on the door frame and everyone turned around.

“Aye look who’s back. It’s Tom!” Tuwaine cheered. Your heart skipped a beat with excitement.

“Oh, wait a sec not yet.” You said as all the boys went to greet Tom. You sat there afraid that Allana might be watching the instagram live.

“What’s going on here?” Tom asked, coming to look at your phone. He saw you were on an instagram live with Gavin Leatherwood. His heart dropped and his body began to heat up with jealousy.

“Hey, Tom! Long time no see. I was about to do a double front flip. Did you just get back from filming?” Gavin asked nicely. Tom had a straight face the entire time. You could sense Tom was not happy and you watched him closely afraid he’d do something bad.

“Yep. Filming got cancelled for me.” He said seriously and stood straight up to walk away without letting Gavin respond. ‘Well that went better than expected.’ You thought. The boys looked at him apologetically, but went back behind you to watch Gavin flip.

“Uh, Gavin, why don’t you do that flip and that’ll be the last thing because we gotta go.”

He nodded and did the flip, sticking the landing perfectly. The boys cheered and everyone in the comments went crazy.

“Nice, mate, you’re so good at that!” Harry said, clapping still. Gavin laughed,

“Thanks it took a lot of time for me to get that down. Alright you all gotta go now?” You nodded,

“Yeah sorry, it’s around dinner time here now.” You said.

“No worries! It’s breakfast time for me anyway. Text me and send me the video.” You nodded and both said your goodbyes to everyone watching the live.

“Man that was dope. Y/n, you have to get him to hang out with us when this is all over.” Haz pleaded before speaking with Tuwaine. You giggled and nodded in agreement.

“Y/n, I don’t think Tom was very happy about that.” Harry said sticking with you as Haz and Tuwaine walked ahead.

“Yeah no shit, he had a straight face the whole time. Should I talk to him?” Harry shrugged.

“Maybe? I mean it seems like he’s already had a really rough day.”

“Yeah I just don’t want to make his day worse-” Harry cut you off pointing at Tom sitting at the dinner table. He was drinking a beer and had an empty shot glass next to him,

“Looks like you should talk to him, hear him out or something. I’ll help Haz and Tuwaine cook dinner.” Harry sighed and walked to the other boys.

You nodded and made your way over to Tom rubbing his shoulder before sitting down, “Not even 20 minutes here and you’re already trying to get drunk?” You joked and he scoffed. Oof. “Wanna talk about anything?” You looked at him concerned.

“Hm yeah I do. I’ve got a lot to talk about actually, but seems like you’d much rather drool over Mr. Leatherwood instead of listen to poor old Tom.” You sighed and gave him a sad look.

“Tom, Gavin just joined my instagram live because he was bored. We were just entertaining other people.” You didn’t want to say anything more because you were worried Tom would only get more upset.

“That’s fucking bull shit.” He hissed taking another swig of beer, “He was literally just trying to impress you with his stupid flip, which isn’t even that impressive. You know I could do that too, y/n. He’s not special.” His jealousy was beginning to show. You smiled a bit at him and nodded,

“I’m sure you can do that and more, but he’s just my friend and he knows that’s all he is to me.”

“Does he really? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better? Who decided to break up first in the relationship?” His voice was raising a bit and Harrison and Tuwaine kept looking your way.

“Maybe we should take this conversation to the liv-” You said already standing up. But Tom lightly pulled your waist back down to the chair.

“No we’re going to talk about this here and now. Who decided to break up first?”

“L-like I said, it was mutual.” You said softly

“No that’s bull. I can tell you’re lying.” You shut your eyes stressed and sighed,

“Ok, I was the one that suggested it.” Tom sat back looking satisfied taking a sip of his beer.

“Ya, that’s what I thought. You don’t like staying tied down. Did you also tell him you still wanted to be friends so that you could fuck him when you’re feeling lonely?” You stared at Tom in disbelief.

“What the hell, Tom?” He snickered darkly and shook his head.

“Oh my god, you’re not even fucking denying it. You probably go around telling guys that you’d be their friend instead of straight out rejecting them so you can fuck around with their feelings and have some sex when you feel like it.” Your vision began to get blurry with every word Tom said, but you refused to cry.

“You of all people should know damn well that I’m nothing like that, Tom.” You spat

“Do I really though, y/n?” Tom said, his voice booming. The other boys all turned to you two now. “You couldn’t even tell me the truth about you and Gavin and then I see the shit Allana did to you a few days ago? Well actually none of you fuckers bothered to tell me about it.” He said turning around and pointing at the other boys. “Damn it this is my house as well!” You stared at him with apologetic eyes.

“Hey, Tom. We didn’t tell you what went down because you said needed to leave for space and we gave it to you. Don’t blame y/n for anything.” Harry said standing up for you now. Tom scoffed.

He turned back around and looked at you straight in the eyes, “What, are you getting into my friends’ minds now? I left for you, y/n. I left so that I could fix shit and all for what? Fucking lies. That’s all I get in return, and you never even communicated back to me. You were probably being petty because I left. Which again was for you damn it!” He was beginning to turn red and getting angrier by the second. Nobody was prepared for what he was about to say next.

“You know what? You’re a manipulative snake and get everyone wrapped around your little fucking finger so that they can do your work for you. You never probably even thought about how I felt about this situation or how I felt when you wanted to hide our relationship.” Tears rushed down your face now, “And you know what? I’ve fallen under your spell, but I can’t do it anymore, I’m done with your shi-”

“Tom! You fucking dickhead. You don’t even know half the shit y/n has been through after you broke up. You can’t blame her for anything when she reached out to you and you couldn’t even work up the damn courage to simply reply.” Harry walked over to you and pulled you up as he glared at his brother. “Let’s go y/n. I’ll have the boys bring us food later and we can start a movie marathon now.” He comforted you as you walked away from Tom.

“See, Harry? You’re falling for her shit too!” Tom said and Harry flipped him off. That made your heart break even more.

“Fuck!” Tom yelled and slammed his hands on the table. Haz and Tuwaine walked over to him and sat him down. All the words Tom said to you replayed in his mind and he immediately regretted saying them.

“I fucked up didn’t I?” He asked his friends with his head in his hands.

“Majorly.” Tuwaine said.

“That was really harsh, mate.” Harrison said, “Why didn’t you tell us what was going on? You never even told us how you felt after you guys broke up. You kept saying you were fine when we tried to reach out.”

Tom sighed, “That’s because I’ve never felt that much pain before. I didn’t even know it, but I’ve been numb the whole time she was gone. I-I think I stayed with Allana because she distracted me from my heartache, and look how that’s going for me now.” He looked up at his two friends with tears in his eyes.

“W-well mate I mean anyone who was born yesterday could even see that Allana was just there to keep you busy…” Harrison said and Tuwaine slapped his neck while Tom groaned.

“God, Harrison, you’re shit at this. Tom, don’t pay attention to him. The only way you can fix this is by confronting the pain, not ignoring it. No matter how painful the feelings and memories are you need to bring them out and come to terms with it.” Harrison nodded.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who’s felt pain before. You know I’ve been numb after a bad breakup before, and you were there to help me heal. It’s gonna be difficult to get over it trust me on that, but you have us here and your family to help you. Now if you don’t mind, why don’t you tell us what you’ve felt the past 6 months so we can help now.” Tom cried more and hugged Harrison and Tuwaine.

“I feel very vulnerable right now, but thanks, you guys are the best.” They smiled and sat across from Tom to listen to his troubles.

“It’s ok to feel vulnerable sometimes.” Tuwaine said.

“Wow, I feel like shit, but also a little free.” Tom said sniffling, his eyes were beyond puffy, and they were hurting a bit. Both Haz and Tuwaine cried a bit as well.

“Yeah that was pretty heavy, but I know you’ll get through it, mate. You’re strong.” Tuwaine said with a smile and Harrison agreed,

“I think you should talk to y/n about this though. She needs to know what you’ve been feeling. Oh and of course apologize for what you said to her.” said Harrison.

Tom nodded and asked, “Do you think y/n will ever forgive me?”

“From what I know I think she’ll come around eventually, but you know her the best, mate.” Tom agreed and hoped to a high power that you’d forgive him even if it takes weeks. Tom was determined to win your trust and friendship back.

“Here take this food up to her and Harry as well.” Haz said, handing Tom two plates.

Tom lightly kicked your door because his hands were full. Harry swung the door open and clenched his jaw a bit when he saw Tom, but his expression softened when he saw how puffy and red Tom’s eyes were.

“Well you look like shit.” Harry joked, making Tom smile a bit.

“I feel like it too.” Tom said softly.

“Is that for us?” Harry asked looking at the two plates in his hands.

“Y-yeah,” Tom handed Harry the plates, “I wanted to apologize to you for being a dickhead, I get now why you guys didn’t tell me what happened.”

“We’re a bit at fault too, we should’ve thought about how you’d feel.” Tom nodded in agreement, “But you shouldn’t be apologizing to just me. You really hurt y/n’s feelings.”

“Yeah I know. I need to talk to her now.” Tom said sternly. Harry peaked back into your room and said,

“Sorry she doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“Y/n? Please let me explain everything. I-I didn’t mean what I said to you down there.” Your heart began to beat faster. The door was opened wider and you saw Tom’s tired and sad face, your heart ached, “Please, y/n, I-I need you.” You wanted to give in, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to and you shook your head.

“Tom, I’m sorry. I’m not ready to talk yet. P-please leave.” You said as tears rolled down your cheeks again, his heart dropped.

“W-well then, I’ll wait out here until you’re ready to talk.” You watched as he began to cry again and sit against the wall across from your door. Harry gave his brother an apologetic look before coming back into your room and shutting the door. He set the plates on your desk and gave you a long hug. You sobbed even more.

“H-Harry, I’m hurting.”

“Shhh, I know. I can tell Tom is hurting right now too.” He rubbed your back.

“I-I think I should leave.” You said and Harry detached from you.

“What? No you can’t do that, y/n. It’s not safe to leave the country a-and Stacy said you can’t remember?”

“No, I mean leave this house. I know it’s gonna be hard to find a place, but I’ve only caused problems and I don’t want to cause anymore conflict.” You looked at Harry sadly.

“I’m not gonna force you to stay, but running from your problems doesn’t solve anything. Remember when you told Tom that?” You nodded your head sadly. He was right, but you felt like a mess and you didn’t want the boys to have to clean you up.

- Hour and a half later -

“Love, I’m going to go to bed now. I can stay and sleep on the floor if you want.” Harry said.

“No no. It’s ok I’m feeling a lot better now. Thanks for making me feel better with Harry Potter.” You smiled at him, your eyes hurt a bit.

“No problem, love. Don’t hesitate to come to me if you need anything later tonight.” You nodded and he kissed your forehead walking away with the two empty plates. When he opened the door your heart melted seeing a sleeping Tom with an empty plate next to him.

Harry looked back at you and chuckled, “He really did wait. You want to talk to him?” You thought for a bit before sighing and nodding your head. Harry nudged Tom with his foot and he stirred awake. Tom looked surprised at you before getting up. He thanked Harry for taking his plate and walked into your room.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry-”

“Tom, before you say more, I’m going to move out.” Tom’s heart broke. He couldn’t let you leave again, not after everything he told Haz and Tuwaine.

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wherepoetswentodie · 4 years

Text

This is a thing I’m working on that will not see the light of day for ages because I feel guilty for being bad at updating and also this seems to be the only thing my brain likes to write at the minute so

----

Connor McKinley did not see the point in health class, virtual baby dolls (that might have been possessed by Satan himself, or at least a close friend) and going to BYU in the fall. What he was going to do, however, was go to health class, look after a virtual baby doll (that might have been possessed by Satan himself, or at least a close friend) and pretend he was going to BYU when (if) his parents asked, but actually get into the University of Michigan.

But as he sat in health class - a class of six people, so he wasn’t sure it could even be called a class - he was beginning to think that maybe he’d prefer to be at BYU. Which may or may not have been a death sentence for him. He had never quite worked out how homophobic it really was and hoped that he never would have to.

“Do you think this teacher is ever going to turn up?” Nabulungi, his best friend and ‘girlfriend’ when his aunties were curious, asked.

“I hope not,” Connor sighed, “I don’t trust babies,”

“They’re not real babies,”

“Somehow that makes it worse,”

He glanced around the class, trying to remember if anyone there had ever thrown homophobic abuse his way. Chris Thomas and James Church definitely hadn’t, considering they were his best friends and Chris was practically sat in James’ lap. He looked towards the back of the room and immediately groaned, shocked that he hadn’t heard Arnold Cunningham before he’d seen him. Or maybe his best friend, and unfortunately attractive republican, Kevin Price had finally worked out how to keep him quiet.

Connor might have actually tried to talk to him if it weren’t for the fact that his dad was the (incredibly homophobic) Governor of Utah

“Arnold Cunningham is in this class,” Connor muttered to Nabulungi who immediately brightened up and turned around to grin at him.

“He’s cute,” she whispered.

“No.” Connor said, “Nabulungi. No. Don’t. No. Don’t even look at me. I can’t believe - him? You think he’s cute?”

Nabulungi rolled her eyes and suddenly had a coughing fit that sounded an awful lot like “Steve Blade,”. Connor tutted and turned back to the front of class, if not just so he could pretend that his best friend didn’t have a crush on Arnold Cunningham of all people. He thought that he’d be able to deal with her liking Kevin, and that would probably come with a healthy dosage of hate crimes for all involved.

“You know if the teacher doesn’t turn up in 15 minutes we’re legally allowed to leave,” Arnold piped up.

Connor rolled his eyes and Nabulungi had the nerve to laugh and turn around to talk to him. Deciding that he should try and stop her before things got too serious, Connor turned around, only to lock eyes with Kevin who was looking between Nabulungi and Arnold like he’d never seen them before. Or maybe he was just shocked that someone was actually showing interest in Arnold. Perhaps he was just glad to find someone who might take Arnold off his hands. Connor had never really understood why the two of them were friends.

“You know Naba likes Arnold?” Connor whispered to Chris and James.

James frowned at him, “Who do you think she was out with when she couldn’t come out with us last weekend?”

Connor gaped at him, “Seriously? Are they - Are they dating?”

“I hate you,” Chris said, “Do you ever listen to any of us? That was their first date!”

“I thought she was joking,” Connor muttered, slumping in his seat and trying to block out the sounds of his best friend flirting with someone who dressed up as Luke Skywalker when he went to Comic-Con.

God, he hoped that Nabulungi wasn’t going to start going to Comic-Con with him. He was pretty sure that he’d have to stage an intervention. A little bit like the one that she had staged for Chris after his sugar addiction had stopped being a cute personality trait and had become a genuine health concern.

“Did you ask me to take this class because of Arnold?” Connor asked quietly.

“No, I asked you because someone needed another class to graduate or someone won’t be tap dancing around Michigan next year,”

“Are you going to Michigan, buddy? So’s Kevin!” Arnold said excitedly.

Connor froze and turned around to look at Kevin, who’s eyes were also wide, “University of Michigan or Michigan State?”

“University of Michigan,” Kevin said quietly, “You?”

“Same,” Connor mumbled, “I’m guessing you’re not doing musical theatre?”

“Probably economics. Or business. Or whatever else it is republicans do,” Chris said, “Oppress minorities?”

Before Kevin could argue back, presumably to tell them that he wasn’t going to be majoring in oppressing minorities because Connor didn’t think that was a valid major (if it was, he was definitely going to the wrong university), the door opened and their teacher, Mr. Name-Connor-Couldn’t- Be -Bothered- To- Learn walked in.

And even though Connor wasn’t going to bother to learn his name, he was thankful that he was their teacher. He was old, and retiring that year, which meant that he was long passed caring about actually teaching and would most likely pass them all without even looking over any of their work. They had basically signed up for another free period, and Connor was already planning on using this hour to work on his book and maybe even convince James to take some new headshots for him. Surely looking after a fake baby doll wasn’t going to be that hard. There was probably an off button that Connor was more than prepared to utilise.

“Get in pairs,” the teacher grumbled at them, “I don’t care who,”

Connor turned to Nabulungi with the intent to ask if she would grant him the honour of being the mother of his baby, just as she turned to Arnold to ask if he would be the father of her baby. He watched in horror as Arnold gleefully nodded his head and proceeded to stand behind Connor’s chair in a way that he understood meant ‘Please move’.

“Chris,” Connor said quickly, “Wanna-”

“No can do, buddy!” Chris said brightly, “Price needs a partner though,”

“I hate you both,” Connor told them before sitting in the seat that Arnold had previously.

The fact that Kevin didn’t seem all too excited about their predicament didn’t make Connor feel much better. Sure, he didn’t want to partnered with Kevin, but that was because he didn’t want to work with a raging homophobe and Kevin probably didn’t want to be partnered with him because he didn’t want to work with a raging homosexual.

Not that Connor really thought that he was a raging homosexual, but he had long since learned that homophobic republicans (Governor Price sprang to mind), didn’t see a difference between the tiny pride pin that Connor dared pin to his jackets and the Drag Queens that worked in gay bars. It was oddly progressive, in a way.

“Can you at least pretend to not hate me?” Kevin asked, “It’s not my fault Arnold’s dating your best friend,”

Connor rolled his eyes, “Can you actually not hate me? It’s not my fault I’m gay,”

Kevin glared at him for a second before he stood up to go and grab a baby off Mr. What's-His-Face’s desk. He completely bypassed the lone ginger baby in favour of one with dark hair, which Connor took as the first hate crime of the project. Perhaps he could do a second, smaller project on the side where he kept a tally of how many hate crimes Kevin committed over the next week.

And when Mr. Name-Connor-Really-Should-Learn told them that they would have to stay over at each other's houses in an attempt to really drive home the experience of parenthood, Connor predicted that the final total of hate crimes would be a lot.

“Sir?” Kevin said, sticking his hand in the air, “Why do we have to stay at each other's houses?”

“Because, Callum, we don’t want to encourage single parenthood,”

“My names Kevin,” he said impatiently, “But you’ll encourage gay parenthood?”

“He didn’t mean it like that!” Arnold said quickly, turning around to glare furiously at his best friend, “He just - He meant...He meant from like a Mormon point of view,”

“So still a homophobic point of view?” James asked lightly, “I’m not gonna sit and listen to him whilst he constantly attacks who I am!”

“I wasn’t attacking you,” Kevin snapped, “I’m just - my dad would-”

“-kill us all given the chance?” Chris said.

“My dad wouldn’t like it if he knew!” Kevin said quickly.

“Don’t tell him, Corey. What do you think he’s gonna do? Kill you?” Mr. Connor-Wanted-To-Say-Brown said, “You’re practically an adult, sort it out yourself,”

Connor sighed and slumped in his chair, glaring down at his desk. He wasn’t sure what was worse; spending a week with Kevin at his own house with his homophobic parents, or spending a week with Kevin and his homophobic parents at their house. Both seemed equally as bad and a very good excuse to throw himself in front of the school bus.

“You’re not staying at my house,” Kevin said quickly.

“Cute that you think I want to stay there,” Connor said, “I’ll give you a ride home,”

“I’m at swim practice after school so I’ll meet you there,”

“I have rehearsal,” Connor said, “I’ll meet you at my car. It’s the-”

“I know what your car is,”

“Oh,” Connor said with a frown, “Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll...I’ll see you later,”

--------

“Do you think I could steal this dress once we’re done?” Nabulungi asked, twirling around in her Belle dress.

“When are you ever gonna wear a bright yellow ball gown again?”

Nabulungi shrugged, “Target?”

Connor snorted and turned to stare at himself in the mirror. Playing the Beast was fun, but the costume certainly wasn’t. He blew some fur out of his mouth and turned to glower at Nabulungi, as though his quite terrible costume was all her fault.

“I’m uncomfortable,” he said, taking the mask off and dropping it onto a chair, “It’s really annoying that I can’t turn into the Prince halfway through instead,”

“That defeats the point of the show though. She falls in love with him when he’s a beast, not when he’s a Prince,”

Connor scrunched his face up, “That feels illegal,”

“It’s not real,” she reminded him.

“Never realised that, thanks,” he muttered, eyes darting around the room until they came to stop where they always did: on Steve Blade.

When talking to any of his friends, Connor assured him that he was very much over Steve Blade and was not at all bitter about the way that everything ended. In reality, he was very much not over Steve Blade and was extremely bitter about the way everything ended. It made playing the Beast opposite his Gaston extremely easy; their fight scene never felt forced and Connor felt like he didn’t need claws to rip his head off. Spite was enough.

Nabulungi tutted when she saw where he was looking and punched his arm.

“No.” she said, “Stop thinking about Steve Blade!”

“I’m not!” Connor exclaimed before very casually adding, “He text me last night,”

“If you text him back-“

“I didn’t,” Connor said, lying effortlessly, “I ignored him. I’m not gonna go back to him,”

Nabulungi huffed a little, “Good. He got what he wanted from you,”

“My virginity?”

“Yes,” Nabulungi said bluntly.

Connor sighed and turned away from Steve, thankful that he hadn’t done anything that suggested they had been talking for most of the previous night. Though that might have been because he was terrified of Nabulungi, Chris and James and didn’t want to get on the wrong side of them. (Again).

Not that Connor himself wasn’t scared of his friends, sometimes. Especially where Steve Blade was concerned. Still, there was nothing quite as terrifying as an extremely irate Stage Manager in the form of Chris Thomas. The only person he hadn’t shouted at all day was James, even though he was extremely behind in his set painting duties. Connor had gotten one entrance wrong and Chris had described, in great detail, how he was gonna murder him.

“Oh my god,” Nabulungi said in a hushed voice, “Did you know Elizabeth was still choreographing?”

“Huh?” Connor said, “I thought someone else had taken over. Chris said she was too ill,”

“Well, she's here,”

Connor glanced over at the door and unintentionally winced as Chris wheeled his twin sister in. She looked worse than the last time he had seen her, and even then he had found it too difficult to look at her.

The school had invited her back to choreograph the show (an unspoken “one last time” hanging in the air), and she had gotten through the first two weeks of rehearsal before she had to leave. Now, with only one week to go before their first performance, having her come back seemed pointless. As he thought about it, Connor realised it only seemed pointless to him because he (hopefully) had more shows in his future. It was very unlikely she had any.

“Hey, Liz!” Connor said cheerfully as Chris wheeled her over, “How are you?”

“Dying,” she said bluntly.

Connor froze, immediately looking up to Chris for some help. Elizabeth laughed and rolled her eyes.

“It was a joke,” she said, “Sort of. How are you finding the choreography?”

“Fine,” Connor said quickly, happy to steer the conversation away from death, “Yeah, fine,”

“‘Fine’ unless we’re talking about Tale as Old as Time,” Nabulungi said, “Which is really all he needs to do,”

“Drop me in it, why don’t you?” Connor muttered.

Admittedly, Connor was terrible at ballroom dancing. If he wasn’t tripping over his own feet, he was tripping over Nabulungi’s feet and if he wasn’t tripping over Nabulungi’s feet he was tripping over her dress. It only served as a reminder that he probably shouldn’t have been playing the Beast. He would have been more than happy with the ensemble, or maybe LeFou at a stretch, but Nabulungi had convinced him to audition for the lead, just because they’d probably never have a chance to play opposite each other again.

“I prefer tap dancing,” Connor said after Nabulungi had finished explaining that the rather large bruise on her thigh was a result of Connor falling right on top of her when he had tried to pick her up.

“Come on, then,” Elizabeth sighed, slowing getting to her feet, “I’ll help you,”

“Uh, what are you doing?” Chris asked.

“Teaching Connor how to dance, why?” she asked, taking Connor’s hand.

“You can’t! The Doctor said that-“

“-I still have 6 months,” she reminded him, “What’s one ballroom dance going to do?”

“Drop her, and I’ll kill you,” Chris snapped, before rushing off to snap at the poor lighting techs.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the back of Chris’ head as she placed Connor’s hand on her waist and began counting him through the steps. It was a lot easier, being taught by someone who actually knew what they were doing (the new choreographer had not offered much help outside of ‘smile!’).

“You are good at this,” she told him once the song had ended, “All you need is more confidence in yourself,”

“I don’t think ballroom dancing is my thing,” Connor sighed, “and also not dressed like this,”

“Dancing is your thing, Connor,” she said firmly, holding onto his arm as she, if possible, grew paler, “By the time you finish college, you’ll be top of your game,”

Connor smiled and helped her back to her chair, hoping that Chris wasn’t going to commit a crime because he had tired her out. Not that Connor could blame him for being so overprotective; he couldn’t imagine watching his siblings slowly die, and he didn’t even like them that much.

“You didn’t have to be here,” Connor said, sitting next to her and watching a run through of Gaston.

“I know, but Christopher can’t say no to me anymore,” she said, “and he always drives me to McDonalds afterwards. Plus-“ she broke off suddenly, frowning, “I can hear a baby crying,”

“Wha - oh, shit,”

Connor jumped to his feet and hurried underneath the bleachers. He had hidden Brigham the baby underneath there in the hopes that he wouldn’t be too loud. Kevin had point blank refused to take him to swim practice, and Connor was starting to think that he would be learning what it was going to be like to be a single dad.

“Sorry,” Connor said, awkwardly rocking the doll, “It’s my baby,”

“Health class?” she asked.

“Yep,” Connor said miserably, “He’s called Brigham,”

“Who’s your partner? Naba?”

Connor scoffed, “I wish. No, it’s Kevin Price,”

“The Governor's son?”

“Yeah...”

She stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, “I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny but - oh, sweetie. Are they still doing the thing where you have to stay with your partner?”

Connor sighed and nodded, “I’m not going over to his house. Lord knows I don’t need to meet Governor Price,”

“So...he’s going to yours?” she asked in a small voice.

“It’ll be fine,” Connor said hurriedly, “My parents don’t need to know,”

When Connor finally got out of rehearsal and spotted Kevin awkwardly hovering by his car, he thought that his parents probably wouldn’t be too angry if Kevin was the boy he brought home. As this thought crossed his mind, he remembered exactly who his parents were and what they expected of him. They’d probably get angry if Joseph Smith himself was the boy he brought home.

Not that Connor would want to bring Joseph Smith home. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal with the whole Prophet thing.

“How are we gonna bring him home?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know. He’s a doll. We’ll just put him in the back,”

Kevin tutted, “You can’t drive a baby home like that! I’ll hold him,”

“You know he’s not a real baby, right?” Connor asked slowly.

“I’ve never failed a class in my life, and you’re not about to make me,” Kevin snapped, taking Brigham into his arms.

“Alright, chill,” Connor muttered, “It’s not that deep,”

Kevin spent the majority of the car journey to Connor’s house glowering out of the window, Brigham held tightly in his arms. If it weren’t for the fact that Kevin was also male, it might have been the closest that Connor ever got to being straight. He had lost count of the amount of couples he had seen (mainly at Church), who so obviously resented each other but had had a child together so that they could live up to the Mormon standard.

It was probably the life that Kevin was going to live, and Connor felt sorry for him until he realised that he was homophobic and suddenly couldn’t care less.

As soon as Connor pulled up outside of his house, his mouth went dry and his palms became sweaty. This was not at all unusual, but it was even worse with Kevin being there with him.

Taking a deep breath, Connor got out of the car and waited for Kevin to do the same. He was taking an awfully long time, holding Brigham close to his chest as he carefully got out, and Connor wasn’t sure he could last a whole week without committing a felony. Or if Kevin could last a whole week without committing a hate crime.

“Are you gonna come in?” Kevin asked.

Connor’s neck snapped up to face Kevin, who was standing on the front porch.

“Get off there!” Connor hissed, lurching forward to grab his arm and yank him backwards.

“Watch the baby!” Kevin yelled.

“Shush!” Connor whispered, glancing up at the house and dragging Kevin around the side of the house when he saw someone inside - probably his mom - start to pull the curtains back, “Don’t yell!”

Kevin frowned at him, “What the heck is your problem, McKinley?”

“How long have you got?” Connor muttered.

He walked around the back of the house to where the basement door was, quickly unlocking it and shoving Kevin through it before one of his parents made an appearance in the back garden. And he couldn’t help but curse his best friends, because it would have been beyond easier to have just moved in with Naba or Chris for a week.

Kevin stood awkwardly in the middle of the middle room and it suddenly occurred to Connor that he was probably used to places that were more...grand.

“Is there a reason we’re in your basement?” Kevin asked, “Are you going to murder me?”

Connor tutted and walked over to his makeshift kitchen (a mini-fridge, kettle, toaster, microwave and mini-grill on top of his chest of drawers), beginning to make his usual after school snack of two Poptarts and a can of Redbull. If this was also occasionally his dinner, no one needed to know.

“Do you want anything?” Connor asked.

Kevin shook his head as he gently laid Brigham on Connor’s bed, “I brought something,”

“You don’t trust my cooking?”

“I follow a strict diet,” Kevin said, “I’m a swimmer, remember?”

“Oh, yeah...” Connor muttered, dropping down onto one of the beanbags that Mr and Mrs Thomas were kind enough to donate to him, “There’s an airbed for you. I’ll blow it up later,”

Kevin nodded and perched on the edge of Connor’s bed, his eyes darting around the room. Connor picked at his Poptart, feeling increasingly awkward. He would suggest that Kevin stay at his own house and lie to Mr. Teacher-That-Connor-Would-Probably-Never-Know-The-Name-Of, but he had a feeling that Kevin was not one to ever break the rules.

“Why are we actually in the basement?” Kevin asked, “Shouldn’t you tell your parents your home? And that I’m here?”

“No,” Connor said, “If it were up to them, I wouldn’t be in the house,”

“Um...”

“I’m gay, they don’t like it, they moved me into the basement because it makes them feel less guilty than if they actually kicked me out,” Connor shrugged, “on the rare occasion that I do actually see them, they remind me that once I’ve left for college, that’s it. I’m out, for good,”

Kevin stared at him, his mouth hanging open. Connor clenched his jaw and looked back down at his Poptarts, wondering if there was a worst person to have this conversation with. He didn’t even like talking about it to his friends, never mind someone he barely knew and who definitely hated him in the same way that his parents did.

Thankfully, Brigham started wailing and Kevin was too distracted to ask Connor anymore questions.

It was definitely going to be the longest week of his life.

#fun fact: I don't realy know what governors do but I am going to find that out before I publish this #I feel like America has too many political offices #Like calm down #For the sake of most of the world #and my fanfiction #kevin price #connor mckinley #elder price #elder mckinley #my writing #tbom #tbom musical #bom #arnold cunningham #elder cunningham #nabulungi hatimbi #arnaba #churchtarts

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ask-the-good-creeps · 4 years

Note

I’m curious to how they would react to my character who is like a mini version of slenderman in a way yet if angered can be just as big and dangerous. Here is two pictures showing normal look vs their larger form. (Btw the guy is their proxy) you can choose whoever to respond to this!😊

//Notes about this character from the creator: “Anon tends to roam freely in forests but sometimes goes to watch people as it reminds them of their human childhood. They are only 18. Anon isn’t the kind to do anything bad but tries to avoid making a mass murder when they are feral and hungry, their proxy is actually their boyfriend but somehow managed to get a proxy side out of him. They mainly try to fit in as best as possible with people but as Anon is young and struggles with control it creates problems. When they meet others like them, pastas or creatures they try to make friends as they struggle with friendship. Other than that they are Normally rather friendly and a little shy but protective and dangerous if angered, hurt or if anyone tries to badly injure their proxy. Their normal height is 5’9 but in monster form it can range from 9’11 in a house to 15 foot outside. An interesting fact though, their proxy bf was actually suicidal but they saved him with friendship that slowly became love.”

------------------------

Pasta Reactions:

Slenderman: Initial reactions will be confusion and worry. He and the other two slenders should be the only entities like this in the mortal realm; he’d be confused on how this came to be and worried about what they plan to do. The new entity would likely be under close observation by himself, the other slenders, and/or the proxies if deemed appropriate until it was confirmed that no threat is present.

Trenderman: Like Slenderman, he’d be concerned...especially considering all that happened with Offenderman way back when. He would be wary of this newcomer and subconsciously be ready to strike should they turn out to be another rogue entity.

Splendorman: Like his brothers, Splendor would have some concerns. However, he’s also be curious and trusting as he normally is; he’s the slender that would be most likely to approach for a face-to-face conversation first, and he’d be the one who really sticks to the whole, ‘innocent until proven guilty’ mentality.

Masky: Oh my god, not another one. These words would be this proxy’s first thought on the matter. As someone who is already partially overwhelmed by the idea that three slender entities exist in the world, another one showing up - especially one that hasn’t yet been concretely determined ‘friend’ or ‘foe’ - would make him anxious...especially since the other slenders weren’t aware of their existence at first.

Hoodie: He’d be on high alert for a long while. After the whole mess with Offenderman in the past, he’s not happy with the idea of another slender entity. He’d be extremely cautious and would be in perfect agreement with his partner when Masky suggests keeping good distance and avoiding the new one.

Toby: If he catches sight of the newcomer before someone tells him to be aware of them, it’s likely he’ll end up debating with himself whether this is a hallucination or not. Part of him will say that if there’s a new slender, his boss would’ve said something so this can’t be real; and another part of him would say that normally when he’s hallucinating he doesn’t question whether what he’s seeing is real or not, so he must be lucid. He won’t interact unless it’s necessary and his first move would be to find Masky or Hoodie and talk to them about it to try and validate his experience as real or imaginary.

Kate: In all honesty, Kate comes off as rude and cold to just about everyone, whether she knows them well or not and regardless of how she views them. She won’t actively try to approach, but she won’t go out of her way to avoid/observe either. If she crosses paths them, she’s just gonna keep walking past. If they try to interact, she’s gonna be the same Kate everyone else sees and behave with her callous attitude. Social situations are not her forte, which is why her main mission type is all the stuff that involves slaughter and leaving no witnesses.

Jeff: Jeff is gonna keep his distance. He doesn’t regularly interact with anyone but BEN, Smile, and the Puppeteer (and occasionally Liu or Nurse Ann) anyway; he’s not the type of guy to go making new friends or poking his nose where he feels it doesn’t belong. If he sees something from the newbie that’s cause for concern, he may report it to Slenderman just to be sure nobody innocent is in danger.

Liu/Sully: Oh, heck no. Liu has made a deal with Zalgo in the past; Zalgo and the Slenderman may not be bitter enemies anymore, but he still has an instinctual reluctance to go anywhere near something that seems like a slender. This is one of the few things that Liu and Sully agree on - if they run into this guy by mistake, Liu is gonna let Sully handle it, and Sully (much like Kate) ain’t gonna play nice.

Jane: She’d defer to Eyeless Jack. Jane will be the first to admit that she is terrible at reading into other people and their intentions, so she would ask her trusted demon friend (who is a notoriously good judge of character) for his opinion on the new entity. She won’t be overtly rude or cruel if she runs into them, but she’ll be fairly untrusting until either Jack or her own observations of solid proof that they’re an okay individual lead her to loosen up a little around them.

Clockwork: She’s pretty much gonna be with Jane on this one. Slender entities are known to be powerful and intimidating and their motives are never completely clear at first. Unless she has solid evidence that they can be trusted or someone she already trusts decides to vouch for them, she’s not gonna get all buddy-buddy here.

Eyeless Jack: As stated, he’s known to be a good judge of character thanks to his demonic instincts. Also, since he is unable to see people as we do, he’s not taking his impressions of people from how they look; his sense of who someone is comes from their actions and emotional responses to everything. He’s also naturally introverted, though, as you would expect from a demonic doctor. At first meeting, Jack wouldn’t be on guard or untrusting like the others but he wouldn’t be super friendly, either. He’d kinda be neutral like he is with innocent strangers unless a friendship formed over time like it has with Jane, Clockwork, and Nathan.

Nathan the Nobody: Nathan naturally prefers to isolate himself. The only pastas he’s willing to visit and hang out with are Eyeless Jack and sometimes Jeff because those two helped save his life in the past; he’s started warming up to Jane and Clockwork because they’re usually there with Jack when Nathan shows up to the MedLab, but he’s not interested in conversing or spending time with anyone else. Long story short, he won’t interact without a damn good reason. If they cross paths, he’s just gonna ignore them and keep walking unless that option becomes impossible.

Laughing Jack: Our favorite monochrome clown admittedly doesn’t spend much time in the mortal realm, and when he’s here he’s not hanging out in the woods. The chances of him meeting the newcomer are slim, but he’s likely to hear about them from Candy Pop (because his jester friend seems to know everything about new creeps). If they ever did come across each other, it’s unlikely Jack would stay long unless the new slender managed to do something to really pique his attention.

Candy Pop: Perhaps the only one that would actively attempt to seek out and converse with the newcomer. Pop has no sense of shame or fear, so even if the new slender’s intentions aren’t known he’ll still let his curiosity guide him to interact with them in order to gain more information about who they are and possibly make a new connection to add to his network. If he determined that no threat was present and this person seems entertaining, he’d likely be willing to spread that conclusion to those he knows and possibly introduce them to pastas he’s closer to.

Candy Cane: Unless the newcomer gets in her way somehow, they aren’t likely to have an extended interaction. Candy Cane hangs out with the other Carny Pastas and is alright spending time with others who happen to be in the same area; however, she’s not a social butterfly like her brother and spends most of her free time home at the Candy Circus or with Jack and company at the clown’s carnival. If they run into each other, it’s likely while she’s on her way to do something so she’ll give a quick, ‘yeah, hi, how are you, gotta run, bye’ and not pay anymore mind to it unless it seems to post some type of problem for her.

Jason the Toymaker: Just as Jane would turn to Eyeless Jack for insights into the new person, Jason would ask the Puppeteer for his opinion before doing anything. He’d be wary of letting the newcomer anywhere close to the children he works with until he had a confirmation that this entity wouldn’t be a threat to them.

The Puppeteer: Like Eyeless Jack, the Puppeteer is an excellent judge of character thanks to his natural power of empathy. He’s also not worried about a potential threat unless he sees proof that he should be worried; he’d be willing to have an extended interaction, so long as he had the time for it between visits with those he’s counseling. The Puppeteer is a naturally calm and friendly entity, so the interaction would go well assuming the newcomer also remained calm and friendly.

Helen: Not unfriendly or cold, but naturally distant and uninterested in things like this unless there’s direct consequences in his or Dina’s life as a result. Helen will be cordial and fairly quiet around the newcomer as he is with most people, but it’s unlikely he’ll think of them as friend material because he knows Dina doesn’t like new people and she’s with him most of the time.

Dina: As stated, she doesn’t like new people. She seem rude or irritated if she runs into the new slender, or she may just pretend they aren’t there - it depends where she’s at with her mood and how the situation plays out. Repeated attempts to interact with her (regardless of whether or not there are positive intentions behind the attempts) will make her angry and may even provoke her to attack. When she says, ‘leave me alone’, it’s in everyone’s best interests to do so.

Kagekao: Kagekao would be curious more than anything. He wouldn’t be as carefree as Candy Pop and attempt to engage in conversation immediately, but he would stalk them for a while and likely pull a couple harmless pranks to gauge their reaction. If they get angry over the minor inconveniences he causes, he probably won’t stick around long.

Nurse Ann: She doesn’t run into other pastas much unless they are specifically trying to seek her out. If she crosses paths with them, she’ll be pretty neutral about it as she is with most. If she doesn’t have business with you, she doesn’t see a reason to stick around - she won’t be rude or dismissive, but she won’t be that talkative or social, either.

Hobo Heart: He gone fly away. Hobo Heart is a complete loner, totally antisocial in all circumstances. He’s just gonna go somewhere else if he comes across this guy, or anyone, really.

BEN: He’d start looking for information, first and foremost. He likes to be prepared to interact with new entities and learns all he can about them before making contact of any sort. If the Internet yields no information he can use, his next step is to consult Candy Pop due to the fact that the jester has an uncanny ability to uncover uncommon knowledge (and also because BEN knows the Pop would likely have been the first to interact with them).

Sally: She’s gonna stay away. Unless you’re a sick p*dophile that she needs to dispose of or someone that’s been introduced to her by a trusted friend (such as Masky) she automatically assumes you’re a potential threat...especially if you appear to have power like a Slender would wield.

Lacy: Keeps to herself anyway. I doubt there’d be much interaction here.

Lazari: Like the Slenders and proxies, she’d be concerned about a new Slender entity thanks to the Offenderman issues that occurred in the past (way to ruin it for everybody, Offender - ya goddamn serial r*pist). She’d observe and start trying to get a lock on how powerful this entity is, in hopes that she could eat them if they ever showed intentions of causing problems.

I think that’s all the pastas on here so far. Keep in mind, Slender entities are known by the creeps as being the strongest among them...a new entity of that caliber that nobody knows anything about isn’t likely to immediately be seen as an ally by many of the pastas. They’ll be regarded as a potential threat until proven otherwise (again, mostly thanks to the experience they’ve all had with the rogue slender years ago). //

#ask the good creeps #ask creepypasta #creepypasta #all the pastas #submission #long post

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happykawa · 5 years

Text

[ goldfish ] t.k

afsghjkdls ive got some writing juice i gotta use before it expires shdjhskj everyone’s 18+ and in college and this isn’t proofread sorry if its long

You help clean the volleyball court as the rest of the members pack their things. Today had been a fairly good day for training. Everything went smoothly, well, as smooth as things could go in the team.

You say your goodbyes to your seniors before you head the opposite way with Tadashi and Tsukishima.

“Say, y/n-chan,” Tadashi starts and you turn to him.

“Hm?”

“How’s it going with your crush?” Tadashi asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Tsukishima remains nonchalant, though he does turn to you.

You feel your ears turn pink and you look away, afraid your eyes may reveal something clandestine.

“Nothing, still. I haven’t gathered up the courage to confess.” You chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of your head. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Tsukishima look away in disinterest, and you feel your heart break a little. Just a little though.

Tadashi sighs. “Maybe if you just told us we could help you!” He pokes your side with his elbow.

“N-no, no thanks. I feel like that would just make things even more complicated, and I wanna do it on my own terms.” You give Tadashi an apologetic smile, letting your eyes glance over to a certain blond for a split second.

That was an understatement. Telling Tadashi would make things much much more complicated, considering your crush was none other than the snarky blonde on the opposite side of your small group.

“Okay, I can respect that.”

The rest of the walk is silent, and Tadashi eventually branches off to his street, leaving you alone with the one and only Tsukishima.

You could never really pinpoint when you started having a crush on Tsukishima. Next to Tadashi, you’ve known him the longest, so it’s definitely hard to say when it exactly started, given all the time you’ve spent together.

However, if you were asked, you’d probably say sometime before high school. When you realised it, you were terrified to say the least. Falling for the crankiest person you know isn’t exactly ideal.

Furthermore, Tsukki never really showed interest in romance, so for all your years of friendship, you don’t know anything about his preferences or his tells.

Recently, you’ve grown hyper aware of your emotions, due to spending even more time with him as an assistant manager of the volleyball club. It’s quite the miracle that you’re not a tomato now given your close proximity to the him.

“Oi, don’t think too much, you might use your last brain cell.” A cool voice breaks you out of your reverie.

You huff and pout. “Tsukishima, you’re so mean. I have more than one brain cell you know. I can afford to think.”

“I’m surprised you even have one left, with how you were looking earlier with physics.” He snickers.

You slap his arm. “Well not all of us have an unlimited supply, you know. I have to make do with what I have.”

“Two brain cells?” He snickers once again.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yes, thank you very much.”

“Both working?”

“Okay, now that’s just mean.” You cross your arms over your chest. “I can’t help it if one of them decidedly thinks about–my crush.” You quickly save yourself the slip up of nearly saying ‘you’. You give yourself an internal pat on the back.

Seeing as you’ve entered the topic of your ‘crush’, you take the rare opportunity to subtly ask him about it. “Say, Tsukishima, if a girl were to confess to you, how would you want it to go, ideally?”

“I’d want her to make me king of the Japan, before gifting me with an Ankylosaurus army to take over the world with. Maybe a torture chamber for the king and the shrimp.”

You scoff. “That’s ridiculous, you can’t even ride an Ankylosaurus, how the hell would you use it to take over the world?”

You hear what you can only think of as a chuckle from Tsukishima. “It’s more plausible than the question you’re asking me. Of all the people, really. Do I look like a person who cares about that stuff?”

“Well, I just thought, you’re a guy, you ought’a know, right? I’m sorry for assuming the best of you.” You huff out again.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s all gonna end the same anyway.”

“How’s that?”

He smiles positively, and your heart is filled with hope, confused hope, but hope nonetheless.

“I’d happily reject them.”

Your face falls. “You really are a horrible person.” You grumble.

“I don’t really care for romance. I think it’s useless and burdening, all that obligation and responsibility and for what? Just so you can feel validated by another person? I can do that for myself, and it’d be cheaper too. Plus, it’ll save me from all that nasty crying once we break up.” He replies coldly, and you feel your heart shatter.

The way he says it doesn’t help. He says it with so much disdain that you can’t help but think about how stupid you are for thinking that that you could ever have a chance with him.

You manage to keep your tears in and your face straight. You can’t look him in the eyes without bursting so you opt for the road ahead of you instead. You feel relief as you catch sight of your house in the distance.

The walk there is filled with nothing but uncomfortable silence. Tsukishima has his headphones on and his face is the same.

‘So that’s how he feels…’ You can’t help but replay his words over and over in your head, and you feel your heart break every time. The only thing keeping the dam together was the embarrassment you now you’d feel if it were to break right now.

With your house only a few paces away, you quicken your steps. “See you tomorrow, Tsukishima.” You manage to say goodbye without stuttering and you don’t dare look back, for fear that he’ll notice the welling tears in your eyes.

‘…useless and burdening…’

‘…it’ll save me from all that nasty crying once we break up…’

You run through the door. Too focused on not sobbing, you don’t notice how Tsukishima’s gaze followed you as you ran, nor the concerned look in his eyes.

Turns out, you may have lied to Tsukishima. You didn’t see him the next day, or the day after that, or the rest of the week for that matter. Well, technically, you did. But you avoided all interaction with him at all costs.

What he said really stung, and while you know it’s not really his fault maybe his parents’ but that’s for another story and it’s not exactly fair to just start ignoring him altogether, it’s also not fair that you fell in love with possibly the world’s most emotionally unavailable man but you aren’t complaining are you? Okay, maybe you are, but that’s besides the point. You’re not ready to face him yet, and you won’t until you are.

The classes you had together were spent with you surrounded by many other people. During volleyball practice, you always arrived when they were deep into training, and you left early as well, with the excuse of having to take care of your brother. You stopped walking home with Tadashi and Tsukishima.

Even during their breaks, you’d be so engrossed in something, be it homework or strategy that they couldn’t even disturb you, which they found strange since you never really were the most diligent student (read: you’re a known lazy ass).

All of the members, save for one particular blonde, tried to talk to you, but you simply waved it off as stress from school. None of them believed you, you know, but they got the message and decided against bothering you for more information.

It’s Saturday and your solid plan of sleeping in is effectively ruined by your phone ringing.

“I swear, I turned off all my alarms, who the fuck calls at–” you glance at your clock, “–six o’clock on a Saturday morning.”

You groan and grab your phone. For a moment you consider throwing it against the wall and going back to sleep.

“Hello, you’ve reached the Devil, how may I help you?” You croak. “Oh, you want to go to hell? Why, stay on this line and you will soon!” You hiss out and look at the caller ID.

SnarKei (+81) 22 37632

Okay, you admit, you feel a certain satisfaction at snarking him. Just a little.

“Aw, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?” He replies in a mocking cutesy voice. “Did the inevitable happen? Have you already been rejected?”

That stings you, and you mumble to yourself. “Something of the sort.” You’re not sure if he hears you though, and you really don’t care. Nope. Not. At. All.

You are met with silence, so you assume that he didn’t hear you, or else he most likely would have poked more fun at your still-bleeding wound.

“What do you want, Tsukishima?”

“Of course you’d forget. You have the memory of a goldfish.” Tsukishima comments bluntly. “We have Saturday training today, goldfish.”

“This early in the morning? Why don’t I remember this being announced?” You yawn and get up from bed.

“Yes, this early, because a big match is near. And you’d remember if, aside from your goldfish memory, you’d actually stayed until the end of training to hear announcements.” You can practically feel Tsukishima looming over you with his scary deadpan.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Tell coach I apologise for being late. I’ll be there in–” You yawn once more. “30 minutes.”

“Make sure you shower well. I can smell your stink from here.” Tsukishima’s infamous smirk pops in your mind and you subconsciously sneer.

“You’re just smelling yourself.” You retort and end the call. You feel your heart ache, and sigh. At least it’s been reduced to a dull ache now, however troublesome.

‘I’m sure I’ll get over this. Maybe in a week or two.’ You think to yourself as you enter the shower.

You believe you just lied to yourself.

You hear no sound from the gym, and the lights are off.

You check your watch just to be sure.

7:30 am

‘Okay, what the hell?’ You peek through the windows, maybe they’re practicing with the lights off? That wouldn’t explain the lack of squeaking shoes and balls dropping, though.

“You’re late.”

You jump and turn around. You’re ready to grab the pepper spray in your right boot when you identify the would-be-predator as Tsukishima.

“You scared me.” You breathe out, putting a hand on your racing heart in an attempt to calm it down. It doesn’t stop racing though.

Tsukishima feigns hurt. “What, with my beautiful voice?”

You roll your eyes and fight a smile. “Why’d you tell me there was training?”

“Because otherwise you wouldn’t have come and I wouldn’t find out why you’re avoiding me.” He states it as if he were talking about the weather, rather cheerfully. But you sense the hostility behind that cheerfulness, as any person would.

“I don’t know–” You start talking, but you stop as Tsukihima walks slowly towards you. He stops when he’s only a step away, and you’re suddenly extremely aware of your closeness and his unjust height advantage.

“…what you’re talking about.” You continue in a smaller voice, feeling yourself overwhelmed by Tsukishima’s presence and size.

He continues to loom over and look down on you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You tentatively look into his eyes, and immediately look away. His golden-brown eyes are intense, and you’re scared that if you look for a second more you won’t be able to look away.

“Because I don’t like liars.”

You snort instinctively. “That’s ironic. Part of your role is deceiving.”

He shrugs. “Deceiving and lying are two different things.”

“Lying is deceiving.” You point out. You don’t notice that you are able to meet his eyes as you challenge him.

“But deceiving is not always lying.” He smirks back, and the two of you get into a staring contest.

You stare into his eyes and you feel yourself getting lost. You look away first, afraid of what might happen or what you might say if you don’t. You fail to notice his faltering smirk.

“So, I assume you didn’t just bring me here for semantics?” You cross you arms over your chest. Your previously calmed heart starts racing again.

Tsukishima takes a small step closer, and you instinctually take one back. “I told you, goldfish, I want to find out why you’re avoiding me.”

His gaze never leaves your face, and you’re painfully aware of it, so much so that you will your eyes to look at anything but his. You’re tempted to look back, but you know once you do, all your walls will fall.

‘This is so unfair.’ You think to yourself as you start over-analysing Tsukishima’s shoes.

“Why don’t you look me in the eye? Afraid of what you might say?” He taunts you. He’s testing waters, and by the looks of it, he know he’s hit the bullseye.

“N-no. I’m perfectly confident with my words, thank you.” You reply, swallowing the bile in your throat.

He scoffs. “Prove it. Look at me.”

You feel your ears tingle and you attempt to resist, but your pride doesn’t allow it. Reluctantly, you meet his eyes, and you immediately regret it.

They’re fierce and intense, his golden eyes, even more so than before. Your breath is taken away and you forget what you were about to say.

“Let’s try this one more time,” Tsukishima takes another, larger step forward, and you take one back, or at least, attempt to. Your back hits the wall, and before you know it, you’re cornered. His places his right arm next to your head as he leans over you. You can almost feel his minty breath on your face.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice that he doesn’t place his left arm on the other side.

‘He’s giving me a way out.’ You think, and you can’t help but internally smile. He doesn’t want to force you into anything you don’t want, but he’s putting pressure on you. You bit your inner cheek in an attempt to ground yourself.

“Why have you been avoiding me since we last walked home together?” His voice is softer this time, but his intensity doesn’t waver. An emotion flashes in his eyes, you’re not sure what it is. Uncertainty? Hurt?

You swallow the bile in your throat. You feel like you just ran a marathon and your face seems to think so too, if the rising heat in your cheeks is anything to go by.

“I–I…” You fumble around for words, unsure of what to say. The golden irises staring into your soul surely isn’t making it any easier.

‘So much for my two working braincells..’ You say to yourself.

Your brain nearly overheats in attempting to make an excuse. Instead, it settles for giving your irrational courage to confess once and for all.

Knowing what you’re going to say, you are unable to look him in the eyes and deflate

“I was hurt…” You whisper softly, feeling the tears well in your eyes. “…by what you said.”

“Why?” He asks, quieter this time.

You sigh defeatedly. There’s no point in delaying it now. You feel all the “healing” you went through in your time away dissipate into thin air. The once dull ache is now a stabbing pain in your chest, but you soldier on.

“Because I like with you. And I idiotically thought that maybe you felt the same way. Yes, it’s dumb. You don’t have to reject me, I know what your answer is, you’ve made yourself perfectly clear about it and–”

You’re interrupted by a pair of lips pressing against yours. It takes a second for it to register. Until it does.

You hear yourself internally screaming as Tsukishima slowly rises from his awkward position and straightens his back, forcing you to turn your head upwards and tip toe.

Tsukishima realises this and smirks. He straightens up even more, just a touch too high for your lips.

You don’t even notice that your eyes are closed until you open them to see Tsukishima’s annoying smug face.

“I never grasped how small you are until now.” He teases, and you feel his cool breath brush against your skin.

You’re too flustered to make a retort, and you’re pretty sure your face is red. You take another moment to let the previous events sink in.

‘Tsukishima…. Kissed… Me…’

He snorts. “Have your two braincells short-circuited?” He gazes down on you, and you see, behind his teasing, is genuine worry.

“You kissed me…” You blink multiple times, and a smile forms on your face as Tsukishima raises a brow. “…first.”

A giddy smile takes over your face, because of the fact that you just stated and the fact that Tsukishima is blushing right now. For once, you aren’t the one avoiding eye contact.

“You kissed me first.” You teased, tipping your toes even more to get a closer look at his blushing face.

“Only because you were putting words in my mouth and you wouldn’t stop.” He mumbles, giving you a sideways glance before looking away as he blushes even more,

You giggle. “Technically, I was putting your words into your mouth. Besides, what was all that ‘I don’t care for romance’ stuff you said?” You poke his warm cheek playfully.

“It’s called lying. And techinically, you confessed first.” It’s your turn to blush and Tsukishima’s to smugly smirk as he pokes your cheek back.

“So, what does this mean? And since when did you figure it out, given this whole set-up?” You mumble, fiddling with the edge of your white shirt with a red “shut up” written on it.

“It means I like you back, even if you have a goldfish brain, goldfish. And you weren’t exactly subtle with the way you got upset last time.” He pokes your cheek once more. His face is back to it’s regular nonchalant state, but you see a twinge of playfulness in his eyes.

You cross your arms over your chest and pout, sneering at him. “I don’t have a goldfish brain. How could I forget something that never existed?”

“You can’t. Who said anything about training not existing?” He raises a brow.

“Didn’t you call me here to get me to confess?” You deadpan at the memory. “Coward.” You mumble under your breath.

Tsukishima smirks. “I did. But there is training, just not for the university.”

As if on cue, you hear a loud bickering noise.

You both turn to the source and find the old Karasuno team, complete with Hinata and Kageyama bickering.

You beam at the sight and turn to Tsukishima. You nearly tackle him into a hug, regardless of how he may feel about hugs.

He looks away with a light blush dusting his features once more. He uses his free hand to pat you on your head.

“Happy birthday, goldfish.”

fagdhefjks;laLKSJH i dont think i captured tsukki well here, and the part feels rushed. sorry for that idk where this went gg

#tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima kei #tsuki #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu tsukki #haikyuu reader #hq imagines #hq #hq tsukishima #hq images #haikyuu headcanons #tsukishima kei x reader

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bts-imagine28 · 4 years

Note

Hello! I love your page!! Can I request a 8th member (maybe poly honestly what ever u feel like) about either their life on tour or their life in quarantine. Thxxx!! ❤️❤️❤️

This is a whole mess😂 it kinda starts with settings and then goes into the members thing and then I don’t like that as much so I did a scenario type of thing at the end. I’m so sorry if you don’t like this one because I don’t know if I’m crazy over it either 💜

Also very much unedited 😂

* Soo this is going to kinda be a flex because we stan rich people

* And idk what their house actually looks like but I’m kinda gonna base this on he free starrs house of you want a reference 😂

Overview thing that could be added he to individual members areas but also kinda like setting plot and also just ot7 and idk what to call it😂

* So every night you guys have slept together in some form

* Whether that be in a bedroom where you all have a custom made bed that will fit everyone

* Or falling asleep all cuddled together in the movie theater area during a movie night

* But because you have all of this free time you have all made sure to strengthen your relationship and grow closer

* For dinners you guys usually order dinners in because none of you are as concerned with your diet right now

* There are just a bunch of cuddles that are happening right now

* Everyone is deeply saddened by not being able to tour but being able to rest and freely give affection without cameras watching their every move is nice for a change

Jin

* He doesn’t wake up as early as usual-no one does let’s be honest-but he still makes everyone breakfast(brunch at this point)

* And then he will go around to wherever everyone fell asleep and wake them up gently

* With kisses and cuddles and gentle whispering(don’t worry he brushed his teeth already)

* You all wake up all tangled together because Jin had woken up early in the night and grabbed a bunch of blankets for everyone if you were in the movie theater area

* And even if you did already have blankets he added more because it’s soft

Yoongi

* He still does go to his studio in the house instead of the one at BigHit (again idk there living place so idk where there studios are or how many they have)

* He never locks the door either right now

* He doesn’t feel as pressured to get things done because it’s almost like a vacation

* Of course he knows how serious the situation is and is very saddened by not being able to tour but he’s grateful for the extra time he has with the loves of his life

* He also can hold anyone’s hand whenever he wants

* Which usually leads to full on cuddles

* Because who can refuse his pouty face

Hoseok

* He still does go to the studio that you all have in the house(near the gym and spa in Jeffree stars house)

* Usually accompanied by someone in the maknae line (in my imagination you are the youngest😊)

* He does make “schedules” for everyone where they should go to the dance studio at least twice a week

* But he’s not as strict about it

* And everyone usually does go because they know it’s important to keep up with their dancing

* Plus after the dance practice he makes everyone get a shower before they go to the spa area and relax together

* Sometimes in the jacuzzi (with swimsuits one because I’m not making it nsfw however this is your imagination so 🤷‍♀️)

* You guys don’t want anyone else in your house even if social distancing wasn’t being encouraged so not having masseuses there isn’t a problem

* So you all are more than willing to massage each other (again nsfw but imagination if you want😂)

Namjoon

* At first he tries to make sure everyone has a schedule and gets up at a reasonable time but that gets ruined quickly

* No one wants to go to bed before midnight or get up before 10

* And he gets convicted with cuddles and movies nights (and nsfw if you want😂)

* So he realizes quickly that since he can’t beat them he may as well join them

* And his loves can be very convincing

* The company also decided to let them all choose what they do

* They trust them enough to not go crazy but still have fun

* So he’s not nearly as stressed

* And enjoying a few spa visits in his own home definitely helped

Jimin

* He’s giving and getting cuddles left and right

* No one will be sad during quarantine right now

* No bad mental spaces where he’s concerned

* Just like the others schedule practices for dance or vocals he has scheduled meetings with his loves

* To talk

* About anything and everything

* Whether it be about how they feel because of the virus or the postponement of their tour

* And everyone validated what they feel because it’s more than ok to not be ok

Taehyung

* He’s been enjoying spending time with yeotan

* And he’s convinced everyone to help him teach tannie new tricks

* But most of the training time turns into cuddles with taehyung tannie and whatever member or members were there at the time

* But don’t worry it’s like everyone has a connection and can tell when cuddles are happening

* So it’s a full blown cuddle session

* And he’s not complaining about that

* Or any other cuddle session that occurs

Jungkook

* He’s getting back into video games

* Not nearly as much as he was before but he likes playing them still

* Plus he loves the little arcade are they have

* And he usually drags at least two or three members with him to the arcade area

* It has ddr pinball and a tv to play on gaming consoles

* One of his favorites right now is dance dance revolution though

* And he competes with everyone on it

* He’s actually gotten really good

* But his biggest competition is you so more often that not he’s playing against you

* Because he loves competition

BTS

* You wake up surrounded by the loves of your life

* Luckily tonight you fell asleep in the big custom made bed instead of the theater area

* Jins already gone down to make breakfast

* You look over the time and see it’s already 9:40 so really it will be brunch

* Taehyung pulls you back down to the bed so you aren’t sitting up anymore

* “Stay until breakfast baby”

* And you can’t say no to that face or the softness of the big bed

* So you drift away and wake up with Jin kissing your forehead as he gently moves your hair out of the way

* Jungkook quickly grabs you away and carries you bridal style to the kitchen and dining area

* Brunch is a quiet affair

* Everyone is smiling and leaning into each other as you all quickly finish the pancakes

* And then it quickly dissolves into something not as quiet

* Taehyung announces he wants to do a dance dance revolution tournament

* So you all race towards the arcade area

* Jin and taehyung go first

* As you watch Jimin back guys you as Hoseok leans into namjoon

* Jungkook is whispering with yoongi about who he thinks will win

* Which is Jin

* And be jungkook steps up to challenge him

* Everyone erupts in giggles at tae pouting and jungkook trying to sabotage Jin

* However sabotage or not jungkook won the tournament

* For dinner you all order a pizza

* And then go to the movie theater to watch a movie as you eat the pizza

* Not really caring about your weight right now

* After the movie you decide you want a spa evening

* So you all grab your swim suits and change into them before heading in

* You all grab your robes and slippers and put them up by the jacuzzi

* You all head in and relax together

* All calm and satisfied

* You all get out after a while and lazily massage each other in a very sfw way 😂

* You are all tired from the long day of cuddling at this point so hoseok decides that another movie would be a great idea

* And yoongi disagrees

* Because everyone knows that now you will all fall asleep in the movie theater instead of the perfectly fine bed you all have

* But he still follows as everyone goes to the movie theater

* Which is surprisingly comfortable as you all curl around one another

* And inevitably fall asleep

* But it’s ok because you are surrounded by the people you love unconditionally

#bts #bts poly cuddles #bts poly #bts imagines #bts 8th member moments #bts 8th member fluff #bts 8th member #bts eighth member #bts cute #request #anon

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪 like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

#JudeJournals

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