#vaggie is getting that girl dick

[theyapper0]

If you couldn't tell I have so much art that I've been doodling on the side while I was making the meeting with Adam comic, Welcome to Heaven, and the finale

IM JUST GETTING IT ALL OUT NOW!!!!

[stawberrypimpsimp]

Alastor x Reader: The Radio Demon Enjoys a Treat

Word Count: 2,321

You were sick of working for Valentino. He was an asshole, a terrible demon. He has you working non stop but at least you aren't his favorite toy like Angel. You didn't have it as rough as him, he had it bad, but you two formed a quick bond. The mutual hate and restraints Valentino had brought you closer. Angel was able to escape Vals grasp just a bit. He moved out to a hotel, called the Happy Hotel, he said. You envied him. How you wish to escape the clutches of that monster.

Angle cared for you deeply. You wanted to ask him if there was room for you in this hotel. If you could have the temporary escape he gets. You decided to meet up with him at Consent, a sex club.

“Hey there sweet tits!” Said Angle walking up to you at the bar.

“Angle! How’s being a dick sucking slave going for you?” You said laughing

”Oh its great.. Vals got me doing gang bangs back to back. Fuck Im tired!!” Angle said, waving the bartender over for a drink.

“Two twink cosmos”

Next thing you know your 8 shots in and grinding on some random ass sinner. You forgot to talk to Angle about the hotel, to drunk to even remember what the night was about. Out of the corner of your eye you see Val. What the absolute fuck?! Can’t I get away from this sex fiend pimp. You dance your way over to Angel nudging him and slyly pointing out towards Val.

”Ugh.. I don't want to deal with this right now.. Let’s fucking go.” Angel says

You nod in agreement following his lead out, luckily you both sneak past without being seen.

“See ya tomorrow Angel!” You say walking away waving you hand and stumbling into a pole.

”Look youre way too drunk to get home and I'm pretty drunk as well. The hotel is right around the corner. You can stay the night there! I mean Charlie would be happy to meet ya.” Angel says grabbing your hand.

“Thanks Angel I owe ya one.” You say stumbling along his side.

He wasn’t nearly as drunk as you but hey at least you were able to let go for a bit and enjoy yourself.

You both walked up to the hotel, and oh boy was it a bad stay. Extremely disheveled and musty. Angel opened the doors for you and you both walked in. Inside wasn’t as bad as outside you guess but absolutely not what you were expecting when Angel talked about residing in a hotel.

A blonde girl in a red suit comes up to you grabbing your hand and shaking it profusely.

“Hello! My name is Charlie, welcome to the Happy Hotel!” She gets all sentimental and teary all of a sudden. “Angel, I can't believe you brought someone here!”

She was loud, a lot to take in but hey it helped you sober the fuck up but obviously still head ache inducing.

“Uhhhh Hello?” You said with confusion.

“Okay Okay let me show you around! Here we work on rehabilitation and bettering yourself. Let me Introduce you to everyone!!” Charlie said, overly excited.

”Okay sooo you already know Angel! So that introduction is off the list.. Hmm.. OH OH THIS THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN ALL OF HELL! VAGGIE! She is my girlfriend and here to help” The blonde demon said with pure excitement and love. She grabbed the hands of a girl with gray skin and hair that resembles moth wings.

”Hi.. Uh yes I’m Vaggie nice to meet you.” She says with an awkward smile.

Once Charlie stops looking and admiring Vaggie for a little longer she takes my hand dragging me over to what you can describe as a bar. It most certainly does not fit in with the color and decor of the place but you kept you mouth closed.

“This is Husker he is the bartender! He comes off all grumbly and grumpy but I swear he has a soft spot!!”

Husk who appears to be a cat like creature with a theme of playing cards to him. He looks up from the glass he is pouring then looks back down grumbling to himself. Oh well guess grumbly was the perfect word to describe him.

“Hello…?” You say hesitantly. He only gives you a look up again and a nod taking a swig of the glass of booze he just poured.

You look over and see a small little creature running with a knife stabbing bugs. You cant take your eyes off her as she takes the knife and impales a bug. Ew but at least keeping the place.. clean..?

”That over there is Nifty. She is the maid and in charge of keeping the place tip top shape.” Charlie says smiling avoiding watching her stab a few more bugs.

”Do you know any bad boys? You're just a girl.” The short girl said, wide eyed in excitement.

“Sadly yeah, work with a whole bunch of them but thats a topic for another time..” You say looking down trailing off your sentence.

Thankfully that stopped the conversation between you and her and she went back to stabbing bugs. Out of nowhere a black shadow witha green smile appears next to you forming into the shape of a demon. A handsome one at that. Tall and lanky in a striped red suit, a cane resembling a microphone right at his side.

“Well hello dear, I am Alastor the host of the hotel, an absolute pleasure to meet you!.” The demon says charmingly with a grin so wide it almost reaches his eyes, but his voice was off. It sounded like his voice was being broadcasted over a radio.

“Oh, hello?” You say a bit nervously as this man just came out of nowhere.

He grabs your hand bending down giving it a soft kiss. Everyone stopped and looked mouth open and shocked.

”What the fuck freaky face?! You ain’t never done that before.” Said Angel with a surprised look and then a laugh.

Charlie clasped her hands together and gave a long aweeee. You had no idea what was going on why everyone was acting so weird.

“Heh?” You say loudly looking confused and into Alastor glowing red eyes as you try to study what the schlock is about over him.

”Well I've never seen him be so… so gentle?” Charlie said still in awe with hearts in her eyes.

“Charlie my dear, I am simply just being a good host!” Alastor says keeping his smile wide and letting out a chuckle.

“Suuuureeeeee…!” Charlie says teasingly as if she could convince Alastor that she believed him.

“Now let me show our new guest around the hotel. Shall we?” He says in his static voice putting his arm out for you to hold onto.

You look at Angel and he gives you a wink and big grin. Looking at Alastors arm you grab it and begin to walk with him. Using his other hand holding his cane he starts to point out where everything is giving you a tour.

“..and hear darling we have my room!” Alastor says with a smirk.

You feel your face go a bit red. Why is he showing me HIS room?! You deal with horny men all day but this demon is getting you flustered. He opens the door letting you walk in first. There was a dark forest at the hall way point leading to who knows how far. Although it was beautiful. You stand here admiring it till you feel something behind you.

Alastor has his hand on your waist the other on your thigh. Slowly he slides his hand to your upper thigh, leaning into the crook of your neck.

”Well yes it's quite true I put everyone in awe over my affection, but I just simply couldn't stop myself. You are quite a cat my dear. Let me show you how a lady like you should be treated.” Alastor said with his radio voice but in a cooing tone.

Your face goes absolutely red. Shivers go up your spine all the way to the tip of your head. You could melt in his arms with how gently he is touching you. Shaking your head slowly you give a soft nod not even able to get out a word.

He glides his hand up your thigh to your crotch, he takes his hand and slowly starts rubbing it back and forth applying just enough pressure to have a decent amount of friction. The hand on your waist turns into him gliding his finger tips up your stomach making you do a soft gasp. He then reaches your chest and cups your breast. He slowly massages it in the same pace that his hand is going at. His face now buried in your neck kissing it softly. Then you feel a sharp pain letting out a small yelp. He lifts up his head slightly and whispers in your ear with a low radio tone.

”My apologies dear, I couldn’t help myself with how tender your skin is.”

He goes back to your neck licking it softly tending to the wound he left you. You didnt mind, it felt good and exciting. He moved his hand now to the rim of your pants.

“May I show you a good time darling?” He says in a static coo well running his fingers around the rim of your pants playing with them.

You give a simple nod. How does he have you in his clutches so easily? He takes his hand and slips it in your pants.

“Oh my, look how soaked you’ve become.”

He takes his hand and begins to feel your pussy. Running his fingers around your lips then pressing a finger on your slit going up and down slowly well his thumb rubs your clit.

God damn what the hell. You could hardly think, just focusing on all the sensations Alastor is causing you to feel. Your body entranced by the places he’s touching.

“Bed..?” Is all you managed to get out with a moan. You've been holding the moans in your throat as if they were trapped and couldn’t escape but that wasn’t because you weren’t feeling good it was because you were feeling so good. He raises his head to your ear once again.

”As you please my dear.” He says in a deep tone that broadcasted through your ears.

He removes his hands and swoops you off your feet. Holding you in his arms bridal style then setting you gently on his bed. You keep your eye on him, staring into his deep glowing stare.

“Let’s get these off of you shall we?” He says witch a chuckle.

Taking his finger he rips the seem of your pants making them fall off, now on to your panties. You look at him with lust as he returns the same look.

“Now be quite we dont want the other curious of the noise my sweet doe.” He says in his charming radio voice.

He gets on his knees and sets your legs on his shoulders. Alastor begins to kiss your inner thighs. Softly sucking on your skin then gliding his tongue up a bit to the next piece of flesh he is going to tend to. Unspoiled another sharp pain is felt. You knew what it was of course, but oh did it feel good. Between the bites, kisses, and licks he makes his wary up to your pussy. Extremely wet all ready for him to dine on. He wrapped his arms around your thighs digging his hands into them and leans his face in your aching wet crotch, not licking it just yet. He lets out a few heavy breaths causing you to shiver in delight, finally he takes a lick of your slit. His nose nuzzling your clit. He takes his tongue from the back of your pussy gliding it between your lips then finishing it off with a flick of his tongue on your clit. Quickly you took your hands covering your mouth choking back a moan you so desperately want to let out.

“Oh dear.. it appears you may need some help staying silent.”

Next to you a black hole appears on the bed and a tentacle slithers its way out. Black and slick it wraps around your mouth muffling the sounds you cant help but let out.

“Back to business..”

He thrust his head back between your legs licking your increasingly wet slit. Moans attempt to leave your lips but they cant. Arching your back indicating your about to cum he pulls away just barely enough to where you can only feel the tip of his lips.

”Not yet dear” He says smirking.

Damn that smile never leaving his face, that old times radio voice, he is driving you crazy.

Once he knows you won’t reach your peak just yet he wraps his lips around your clit. He starts sucking on it softly, nibbling on it unlike his hard bites, using his tongue sliding back and forth providing flicks. As he does so he slips two fingers inside of you. Dear god. Yes god, this is pure bliss. Alastor begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, now adding a curl to his fingers touching your sweet spot. He continues to pull them in and out. You arch your back and feel sweet realese. You cum on his fingers, him still sucking your clit and slowing down his pumps letting you ride out your orgasm. He pulls out his fingers and licks them clean.

”Im not usually one for sweets but this was a dessert I deeply enjoyed.” Alastor said standing back up looking over you taking in what he will now claim as his darling doe.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

Part One:

TW: Angst, Implied SA but it doesn't happen, More K-Drama BS

Description: Alastor and Vox both want you for themselves

The new normal at the hotel has been you doing everything you can to ignore Alastor while he tries to get your attention

Along with Vox showing up at the doorstep to make a point of seeing you or having gifts delivered to the hotel, gifts that you spurn harder than ever before

Which only makes Vox try harder and irritates Alastor further. In fact, their fighting has gotten downright nasty lately

But Alastor has definitely been trying to sweep things under the rug between you two while trying to discredit Vox at the same time

Usually, he saddles up next to you and is quiet for a good minute, making you relax slightly before he opens his mouth and ruins it

"Ah, did Vox give you that terrible contraption? Let me take care of that for you!"

In a flash the phone is snatched from your hands and being thrown away, the sound of breaking glass following

"MY WINDOWS!!"

It always ends in you leaving the room before Alastor even gets a chance to apologize because he can't just be normal about it

All his efforts to smoothly apologize to you just ends up pushing you away and things get more awkward around the hotel. For everyone

Alastor doesn't think to change his tactics because he thinks he has time to get you to warm up to him again

Unbeknownst to him though, the worse things get between you two, the more you feel like you don't belong at the hotel anymore

It's difficult to be around Alastor because part of you feels so drawn to him, but another part of you is still so hurt and angry at him

You had finally snapped at him one day after he had tried to dance with you to some tune on the radio, ripping your hand out of his grip and turning away

"Just leave me alone, Alastor. You've done enough."

You remember how he stopped in obvious surprise, his teeth clenching so hard that he drew blood as he struggles to get his next words out

"...As you wish, my dear."

And on top of that, you're feeling guilty for making things uncomfortable for everyone else at the hotel

So you say your goodbyes to everyone except Alastor and leave, something that's extremely hard for you to do

"Promise you'll come visit us, okay? We're gonna miss you so much!!!"

The poor girl is in tears, hugging you so tightly that you're afraid your body will break. Vaggie has to pull her off of you

"Charlie, please don't cry. It's not like I won't be around.."

It took everything in you not to let your gaze wander towards Alastor watching you on the banister with a tight smile on his face, his claws digging into the wood

You can't help but feel guilty as everyone hugs you goodbye and you make eye contact with him, his monocle cracking as you start to walk out the door

Just as you're about to shut the door behind you, you feel his breath on your neck and his hand on your wrist. You don't fight it as he slowly turns your body so that you're facing him

"Alastor-"

"Y/N, I know you want me to leave you be and I will respect that but please let me just say this..."

You match the intensity of his gaze, noses nearly touching, you can feel each other's hearts beating as hope starts to bubble up inside you

Hope that he'll apologize, that he'll ask you to stay and be here with him at the hotel, hope that swells even more inside you as he leans in

"Goodbye, my dear..."

The radio static in his voice glitches out from sadness, but it's nothing compared to how cold you feel as he takes off a bead from his monocle and places it into your hand gently

You stare at him as he folds your fingers gently over the onyx bead before ghosting his lips over your fingers as if sealing them

He's really letting you go? You can't help but stare at him, searching his face for a sign that he doesn't mean what he's saying

"Think of me from time to time, won't you? Consider this my parting gift."

Your cheek tingles where his claws brush against it momentarily before he's turning away and walking back into the hotel, a defeated aura about him

Watching him walk away feels like the air has been sucked out of you, your chest tight and eyes suddenly feeling hot

You've been trying and trying to get him to just leave you alone in the hopes that it would stop the pain you feel but now that he's truly done it you don't want him to

The moment Alastor is out of sight from everyone, he digs his claws into the nearest piece of furniture, his antlers coming out as he rips apart nearly everything in sight

He didn't want to let you go, but his desire for you to be happy outweighed his selfish desire to keep you

Now that he let you go, he realized the full extent of his feelings, that he had fallen for you and had hurt you deeply

And he's at a loss now of how to fix it

Falling asleep that night was impossible for you, you kept thumbing the bead Alastor had given you and thinking of him

You end up putting it on a piece of jewelry and wearing it, messing with it whenever you need comfort. Which happens to be a lot as you step into your new normal

You're walking back home one day when you're surrounded by thugs, all of them looking at you with ill intent as one of them grabs your arm

"I don't have anything to give you..! Let me go!"

One of the demons gives you an oily malicious look, pulling you up to his chest as you try to push him off of you

"Oh, I think you have plenty to give us, beautiful~"

You shut your eyes tight out of fear, knowing you're outnumbered, one of them grabs your face harshly and forces something bitter down your throat

"There~ Now you should be nice and pliant for us!"

You shudder in disgust as a tongue paints a horrendous smelling stripe across your neck, about to cry out when you're abruptly yanked away

Alastor!

You feel yourself pressed up against a firm chest, curled into strong arms, and instinctively wrap your arms around his neck

You hear static and shrieking but don't dare open your eyes for fear of tears falling and looking more pathetic than you already do

Once it goes quiet then you open your eyes, unable to keep the smile off your face at the thought that Alastor came to save-

"Vox..?"

He doesn't put you down, instead opting to carry you as he walks away from the bodies littered on the ground, a pleased look on his face

"Y/N, what are you doing out here all alone? You could've really gotten hurt if I hadn't stepped in!"

You do your best to quell the disappointment you feel and try to push off Vox's chest to look him in the eyes, only to find yourself overwhelmingly tired suddenly

You start to feel feverish, resting your head on his shoulder as your eyes grow heavy, a small part of you registering his hand on your forehead

"Don't you worry, baby. I'll take care of you."

You fist his shirt weakly as you start to lose consciousness, your free hand rubbing the bead Alastor had given to you

Your last thoughts are of Alastor and how you wish it had been him who saved you before everything goes to black

Vox carries you all the way to his home, letting the paparazzi take all the photos they want of the two of you and holding you close

It was pure luck that he happened to run into you, part of him can't help but think of how perfect it is as he lays you down in his bed

He strokes your cheek gently before pulling the covers over you, giving your forehead a gentle kiss before moving off the bed to go sleep in an armchair

Only to stop when he sees a bit of jewelry with a single black bead on it, taking it off of you for reasons he doesn't entirely understand

Reminds him of Alastor in a way he supposes

He orders some new clothes to brought up for you in the morning, settling down in the chair to watch over you

It feels right to have you here with him, after so much time and effort spent trying to convince you that you two would be good together

Hopefully after this you'll feel it too

As Vox drifts off to sleep, part of him hears you mumbling Alastor's name, but he chooses to assume you're having a nightmare

The next morning at the hotel, everyone is suspiciously silent when Alastor walks into the lobby, Husk quickly hiding a newspaper when he sees him

But he was too late, and Alastor zeroes in on him, his staff tapping menacingly on the floor as Alastor approaches the bartender

"Ah, hiding something from me, are we? My daily paper, no less!"

Husk nearly goes white when Alastor yanks the paper out of it's hiding spot, Charlie suddenly trying to distract the overlord

"Alastor! I was actually needing your help! Like right now-"

Alastor shoves her face out of the way of the paper, humming in slight annoyance at her outburst

"Now Charlie~ It's quite rude to interrupt someone like that."

Angel and Husk grab Niffty then dart out of the room as Alastor raises the newspaper to his face. Charlie and Vaggie watching nervously as Alastor's body tenses and there's an audible crack of glass

Suddenly, the newspaper is crumbled together, then violently opened again just to be torn apart

"Breaking News! VoxTek CEO has new beau? Love birds caught after wild night out!"

All the pain of missing you and the regret from letting you go finally boiled over as he read the headline. The photos made his blood boil, and Alastor knew he had to do something

The entire hotel shakes as Alastor abruptly stands up, his smile a twisted snarl as he pulls his coat on to leave

Charlie is the one who stops him, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a worried look

"Alastor! Where are you going?"

He has anger radiating off of him, Charlie can see that he's seething as he shakes her hand off and exits the hotel in a huff

"I'm going to get Y/N back."

Part Three:

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

With your posts about Vaggie teaching a Chaggie baby to fly via chucking, I now imagine her learning to fly much like how she learned to trust people (throwing them off a roof into an active battle), and apparently the exorcists make a hobby of throwing each other.

Lute: "Welcome to heaven, new blood."

Vaggie: "Heaven. So I really am..."

Adam: "You're dead and newbie ordained and shit. Congrats!"

Vaggie: "Thanks...?"

Adam: "Uh-huh yeah it's totally awesome here, great job not fucking up down there and you're welcome for existing. All my doing, by the way. The you as a thing I mean. First dick here, incase you wanna fall on your knees and thank me or whatever."

Vaggie: "...right."

Lute: "Right, sir."

Vaggie: "Sir?"

Adam: "Aw chill danger tits! Newbie's just sticking it to the man which is like, my brand! Anyway."

Adam: (picks teeth) "Any idea how to use those wings of yours?"

Vaggie: "No, sir?"

Adam: "Wanna get a sweeet flying tip?"

Vaggie: "Yes sir."

Adam: "Cool! Tip number one is-"

Lute: "Don't fall." (SHOVES vaggie off cloud)

Adam: "...."

Lute: "...."

Adam: "...weren't you supposed to fucking catch her?"

Lute: "Sorry sir. I thought you liked doing that part."

Adam: "Yeah usually I totally would- swooping in like a badass at the last sec is SO awesome! ....but I've got this stupid fucking seed stuck in my teeth...."

Lute: "I'm sorry to hear that, sir."

Adam: "Well fucking hey! Maybe she caught herself somewhere under those last few clouds! You did on your second try, didn't you?"

Lute: "Yes. But not every new girl can be a-"

Vaggie: "What's the next tip."

Adam: (SHRIEKING) "AAAA HOLY SHIT FUCK-" (punts vaggie off again)

Lute: "..."

Lute: "...sir."

Adam: "Yeah yeah whatever. You go fetch her, danger tits. I gotta to go floss with a divine guitar string or something."

-years later-

Vaggie: "...and that's how I learned how to fly, and how to brace for impact the second time around. And to dodge the third time I startled Adam. And that I can heal very quickly even after breaking every bone in my body."

Vaggie: "Then I met my sisters in arms and they taught me to constantly check if someone's sneaking up behind me whenever I'm near a high edge of any kind."

Vaggie: "That's, a pretty normal way to learn. Right?"

Charlie: "......."

Charlie: "....wellllll-"

Vaggie: "Don't tell me. Another trauma."

Charlie: "I think the blunt force of the impact that broke every bone in your body probably counts, yes."

Vaggie: "Did I traumatize our kid by throwing her off the roof, Charlie."

Charlie: "If she was any OTHER kid I'd again say probably!"

Charlie: "But you DID catch her and she just laughed, and now our darling baby keeps climbing up me to try launching herself off again, so I think we're good! Aside from my racing heartrate anyway- GAH BABY NO!!!"

baby: (launching self) "WHEEEE HEE HEE-!"

Vaggie: "Gotcha." (catches) "Sweetie, don't traumatize your mom."

Charlie: (clutching chest and hanging off of vaggie) "IM OKAY!!!!!"

baby: "Ooo... hee~"

[cat3ch1sm]

💚~ hi!! this is my first fic in so long, im so sorry for disappearing for almost two months ... idk I've been at a loss for motivation for a while. happy new years i guess😭. but it's a story based off of @a-hazbin-reader recent headcanons about alastor (first hazbin hotel writing!! exciting !!) i happened to come across it and immediately saw a fic idea finally. all credits to them and the person who requested the original writing (hope they see this too lololol) !!! also yes my anime writings will also return so yayy im officially back!!

heads up this is super long it's like 15 pages cause ya girl got a little carried away 😅 i hope you all enjoy and reqs are open for all!

🌲❦(๑˙❥˙๑)~ mentions of violence , abuse, bit of blood, alcohol, language, lewd language a little bit at the start, fem!reader

alastor x fem!reader

"Angel. Are you able to draw absolutely anything else?"

The aforementioned spider demon stared straight at Charlie with his brow arched and a shit-eating smirk on his lips. Beside his face he haughtily held up a sheet of paper with one of four hands, a drawing depicting nothing other than a giant penis.

"Nope." He popped the "p."

The hotel residents and employees, including Angel, Husk, Vaggie, Nifty, you, and Alastor were doing Charlie's usual scheduled feel-good activity. The devil's daughter had given out paper and pencils, gathered everyone in a circle and told everyone to draw something that made them happy. And of course Angel Dust, lewd as always, had spent a frankly concerning amount of time drawing the member currently on display on his paper.

Everyone just stared at the drawing in silence. Examining it while Angel continued to hold it up with not an ounce of shame on his face.

"Why is it... anatomically correct?" you finally questioned, tilting your head and squinting at the piece.

Vaggie, sitting beside her girlfriend, let out an exasperated groan, looking from the drawing to Angel with undisguised revulsion. "Angel Dust. First you drew pills, then you drew a liquor bottle, and for the last three goddamn turns we've given you, you've drawn a dick. Come on. Are you even trying-"

"Whadd'ya mean?" Angel asked innocently. "Charlie said to draw somethin' that makes me happy. Dicks make me happy. And as a worker here, you shouldn't be judgin' me," the porn star added smugly, making Vaggie let out an impatient growl.

Business as usual in the Hazbin Hotel.

"Well, I mean, you can't really say he didn't try," Husk deadpanned in a gravelly voice. "I mean, look at the vein-"

Ding dong!

"Oh, wow, hey, someone's at the door!" You'd never seen anyone move as fast as Charlie in that moment, and Vaggie was in close pursuit. In a split second, Nifty's tiny frame was flying after them both.

"Someone's at the door!" Nifty repeated in a high-pitched voice.

"Right. While they're distracted, I need a damn dick- fuck. Drink," Husk snapped, rising from his place on the floor. Angel immediately started laughing while Husk wasted no time lighting into him. "Shut up. You and your fucking anatomically correct dick got into my head," you could hear Husk snarl while Angel's taunting laughs never ceased as they headed off to the bar.

With those two gone, it was just you sitting in the circle, blinking. "Right," you murmured, standing up and dusting yourself off.

"Well, my dear? What did you draw?" came the oh-so-familiar drone of the Radio Demon's voice from the corner of the room. You couldn't help the smile that spread across your lips at the sound of it, and glanced up to see Alastor standing with his trusty mic stand, beckoning you to come closer. Of course, you obliged.

You scoffed a little, smile turned slightly sarcastic. "Well... I was going to draw you, but Angel suddenly became the Picasso of Penises and I didn't get around to it."

Alastor laughed good-naturedly, wrapping an arm around your waist and planting a gentle kiss on your head. "Ah, always the sentimental one, aren't you, my dear? Well, no matter. It's the thought that counts."

Your smile turned genuine again at his gesture and Alastor noticed. "There's that smile, sweetheart. Now, if you'd just keep it on your face at all times without fail, we could be quite the formidable pair."

You kissed your teeth with mock exasperation and lightly shoved Alastor away. "Oh, here you go again. And I thought we were having a moment. Alastor, my face just cannot stay like yours for that long-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Charlie came rushing back into the room, her sudden entrance startling you a little. She made her way up to you and Alastor. "Hey, um, Y/N? There's a woman at the door who says she's looking for you. She seems really upset."

Your face wrinkled in confusion. Someone looking for you? You weren't friends with anyone really outside the Hotel and those affiliated with it, so you had no clue who would be searching for you. You glanced at Charlie with a "What's going on?" look and with some reluctance pulled away from your boyfriend's grip to follow her.

As you neared the lobby, you heard a distressed-sounding voice in the door, and confusion growing you walked a little faster to the entrance. But before you could even register who the visitor was, she'd thrown her arms around you, fingernails digging painfully into your skin. But the stench of her familiar perfume wafting unwelcomed into your nose, into your mouth, smothering you and strangling you let you know the identity of this woman without even having to see her face.

You instantly stiffened, limbs suddenly like metal rods, not at all softening into her embrace. Your eyes went wide and you could feel your pulse speeding up.

"Mother?"

"My love! Oh, my precious girl!" she cried, pulling out of that suffocating hug for a moment to cup your cheeks in her cold hands, hands that no matter how gently they touched you their touch would always sting. She peered into your eyes with watery ones of her own, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I missed you so, my dear. This is where you've been hiding? I was so dreadfully worried!" Her eyes, always scrutinizing, ran up and down your figure in the way that made you want to tear the flesh from your bones.

"Oh, and I was worried you were starving somewhere. You were such a frail, skinny thing before on Earth. It's a great relief to see you've put some weight on your bones."

And the first stone was thrown.

"Mother." It was the only word you could seem to utter, fighting the urge to throw up, bile collecting in your throat. Her voice was like a slap to the face, and it was only your mother's grip that kept you from actually staggering backward. And how the others were just staring, awed, at the scene, Charlie's eyes sparkling with tears, Vaggie with a hand on her shoulder and a knowing smile, Angel and Husk watching contentedly from a distance, and Nifty clinging to Alastor who was smiling as usual. God, if you didn't vomit right fucking now, you'd be surprised. But you knew what they all saw in their clouded vision- a heartfelt reunion between mother and daughter. But really? It more closely resembled a predator at last capturing its prey.

You really couldn't hear what she was saying over the pounding in your head, but somehow you were in her arms again, and she was fawning and cooing over you like you were a child, showering you with kisses that burned like molten iron and rocking you back and forth. Always she loved to put on a show, loved being the center of attention.

It made you sick.

You managed to come out of your stupor long enough to shove your wailing mother away, unfazed by her crocodile tears. It was like waking up from a haze. She stumbled back slightly, and you backed away, your entire demeanor hardening. Your tone was flat when you spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

You apparently weren't doing that clean a job of masking your emotions, because the venom in your voice caught even you off guard. Your mother looked hurt- that act wasn't new to you, either- and your friends and partner surrounding you shot you disapproving and mildly disgusted looks that clearly wondered why you were being so cold to your own mother. You dropped your eyes to avoid the accusing stares, unable to slow your breathing and fighting the desire to lash out. Charlie looked bewildered and hurt, Angel Dust arched a brow, Husk appeared disapproving and Vaggie’s venomous expression said everything she wanted it to. How dare they look at you like you were the bad guy without knowing shit! She couldn't care less if you lived or died. She was here because she wanted something, and nothing more. Perhaps she heard about your role in the extermination of the Extermination and wanted a piece of the popularity you'd recently found yourself gaining. Or she came because she was probably destitute, the frivolous bitch, and wanted to suck up to either you or the powerful people you were now associated with. Whatever it was, you didn't care. You wanted her gone.

But it was clear she had no intention of leaving.

"All this time, and not one visit. And she never calls," your mother moaned in anguish, now addressing her new audience. "Perhaps I wouldn't have to track you down like a bloodhound if you would just come see your poor mother every once in a while." Her voice was overflowing with hurt and heartbreak you just could feel wasn't genuine. Before you knew it, she had broken down into sobs again, and you could only stand there stiffly, rage boiling, while the always empathetic Charlie moved to comfort the woman, rubbing her back soothingly while she sent Nifty off to get her tissues for her tears. The dirty look Vaggie shot you- "How cruel of you to do this to your innocent mother,” it said- sent heat rushing straight to your chest. Jesus fucking Christ, how could they fall for this shit? Your stomach twisted again, and this time you actually did nearly puke, suppressing a dry heave.

You did not pay any mind to your mother's display- you refused to give her the satisfaction. You turned in the opposite direction, arms folded, nails digging into your skin hard. You felt nothing seeing her cry but bitterness and icy detachment.

"I don't want to see you-"

"Well, now- who do we have here?"

Alastor appeared from the shadows with his sharp-toothed grin, glancing at you first and then your weeping mother. Before you could stifle it, a rush of hope surged through you- if anybody could get this infernal woman to leave, it would be Alastor. You turned towards him, hoping he would see how distressed you were- he was typically fairly perceptive when it came to you and your feelings. But alas, your mother caught his attention first, peering up at the Radio Demon standing over her with teary eyes and wet cheeks, a piteous expression on her face.

"The Radio Demon? Oh, well, a being like you mustn't worry about who I am. I'm just- a poor mother come to visit her daughter. But she... doesn't seem to want to see me." She sighed in a melancholy manner and slowly unburied her face from the tissue she'd been holding. "I suppose I will simply see myself out."

"Oh, nonsense. Y/N's mother, are you? I absolutely cannot allow you to remain on the streets. I insist that you stay." Alastor extended a hand out to your mother, his maniacal smile gone suspiciously gentle. It was disgustingly familiar; it was the smile he reserved normally just for you. "As... abrasive as your daughter may seem at the moment"- you felt him cast a look over at your back turned to him- "I'm sure she wouldn't want you suffering like this. Please, you're welcome to remain here."

You wanted to cry when he said this- could he really not see who this woman was? Did he really think you were just being testy? And when your mother took his hand and held it for much too long, you could take it no longer. And as everyone crowded your mother, showering her with welcomes and greetings and kindness, you pushed past everybody and walked straight out of the hotel doors, the last thing you saw being the tauntingly smug smirk on your mother's face before you slammed the doors behind you.

When you returned to the hotel, drunk, night had fallen. You hadn't seen any of your hotel mates since you'd left, and as far as you knew nobody went after you after your abrupt exit. Who the hell cared about that now, though? You'd talk to them about your deranged mother when you got inside, without her presence. Perhaps Alastor had just been being nice when he told her she could stay, and they hadn't actually been blind to why you were acting the way you were. Maybe they were just being supportive of a guest when they saw you acting out of the ordinary, knowing you usually were never snappy and stony, and still took her side. Maybe so.

You wished you hadn't had so much to drink.The pounding in your head was worse than when your mother had shown up earlier and your eyelids felt heavy. You had tripped a minimum of ten times on the way back and almost let two thugs take you in their car with them. You hated being drunk, but your mother you hated more.

With unsteady hands you pushed open the doors of the Hazbin Hotel, vision blurring a little. You weren't amazing with alcohol, and again, being drunk wasn't your favorite thing. But the moment you entered, you realized you weren't nearly drunk enough.

In the lobby sat your boyfriend, Alastor, enjoying a cup of tea with none other than your mother. The two were laughing together, which incensed you enough, but what made you wish you'd just blacked out at that bar was when you caught sight of your mother's hand on top of Alastor's as they shared a laugh over God knows what.

It didn't take long for the two to notice you in the doorway, a turbulent, unreadable expression on your face, standing as still as a statue as you took in the scene. Your mother turned to you and smiled, waving the hand with the cup of tea in it.

"Why, darling, we hadn't realized you left! Alastor is quite a charming gentleman. We were just having a moment." She slipped her hand from on top of his with a slightly mischievous smile.

Oh, she knew exactly what she was doing. You had no fucking clue how, but somehow your mother had discovered that Alastor and you were an item. She wasn't sitting here with anyone else but Alastor, drinking tea with him, laughing with him, holding his hand. And she was wearing makeup she hadn’t had on when she’d first come in the hotel- red painted on her lips, blush dotted on her cheeks and glitter on her eyelids in a display clearly meant to make an impression on Alastor and Alastor alone. It wouldn’t be the first time she'd gone after one of your partners, but it angered you no less- it was like the woman wanted to take your place somehow.

Alastor turned to you as well with a smile, but when he saw the look in your eyes, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. However, he made no comment at your slightly disheveled appearance and picked up his expression once more. 

“Why, hello, my dear. Your lovely mother was just telling me about her life before you,” Alastor enthused. “A lively woman she was! I’ve heard story after exciting story. Quite a wild one, indeed- rather unlike you, sweetheart.”

You gave Alastor what could only be described as what is called ‘the thousand-yard stare,’ expression flat, not knowing really what to say to that. Despite the fact that you were in a bit of a daze still, either from the alcohol or the fact that your mother was on a date with your boyfriend, the haughty, self-superior expression on your mother’s face was not lost on you. Nor were the cow eyes she was giving him, or how when Alastor reached for the teapot to refill his cup her hand was conveniently already on the dish, lingering beneath his for what felt like hours.

She turned to Alastor, looking up at him with that sickly sweet, beaming grin of hers that she always plastered on her face when she was really about to lay it on. “I’m still wild if you ever care to find out,” she purred, batting her lashes at Alastor with an unmistakable air of seduction. 

Before you could even register it, you heard yourself saying, “Get out.”

Both your mother and Alastor turned to face you, your mother’s face having dropped and Alastor’s eyes piercing into yours. 

“What?” your mother asked, looking at you with wide, glassy eyes. You truly saw red for a moment, knowing damn well those tears were as false as Angel’s lashes, and the twitching in your muscles to just lash out was almost painfully difficult to stifle. Alastor’s smile wavered a little as his eyes darted from you to your blubbering mother, who had already started her shit.

You advanced forward, your stride making your mother jump and Alastor stand, and without hesitation tore her hand from Alastor’s, yanking her arm with force that momentarily startled even you. She was pulled from her chair and forced to stand up. 

Her voice full of anguish, she pleaded, “Baby girl, what did I do wrong?” However, unmoved by her over-the-top performance, you’d already started dragging her out, not bothering to respond to her or explain why you were throwing her out. She already knew; you could see past the tears and wails and her struggles to pull away from you. Fueled by fury, distress and the afterbuzz of the alcohol, you hauled your protesting mother out of the hotel, pitilessly leaving her outside in the dark, and forcefully slammed the doors behind her. There were muffled screams of your name coming from the other side, her fists pounding on the door, but after a bit they faded away.

The moment she was gone you instantly felt as if a weight had been lifted off of your chest, slumping against the door with a breath of exertion and relief. But that relief quickly dissipated when you locked eyes with Alastor, who was advancing on you, his smile obviously strained. The way he spat your name at you made you shrink back slightly, realizing that he was actually not pleased.

“You cannot just throw your own mother out like that. Into the streets? My dear, that is no way to treat your mother. And frankly, it’s rude.”

You felt anger rising once more, but you didn’t want to start anything with Alastor despite the fact that he had no idea what he was talking about. Of course it looked simply like bad etiquette from his standpoint; he had no idea who your mother was. And somehow you didn’t feel it was proper to tell him- you knew how much he valued his own mother and mothers in general, and as sweet as you had always thought that was, you knew he and his rosy view of maternal relationships wouldn’t understand and perhaps not allow for your turbulent relationship with your own mother. And you didn’t want to be the one to tarnish his otherwise endearing perspective by explaining how abhorrent of a person your mother was. So despite how much you just wanted to scream at him, to tell him he had no clue what was really going on, you kept your composure, inhaling shakily.

“Alastor, please. You- you don’t know what you’re talking about. So just stay out of it, alright?”

“She’s your mother, not the devil, dear.” Alastor’s tone was back to normal, and he was speaking in his usual radio voice as if he was talking to just anyone, and it made your stomach churn. 

“She’s not innocent, Alastor, she’s in Hell-”

“Ah, but so are you and I, sweetheart.”

Your face crumpled, and you found yourself coming up short for a rebuttal. Before you could stop them, tears started to well in your eyes, frustrated that you couldn’t get through to him. Out of spite and pride, you blinked them back harshly. Alastor tilted his head and started to come towards you, his mic stand clacking on the ground as he walked, and for a moment you felt a glimmer of hope, thinking that he truly wanted to talk and get to the bottom of your animosity towards your mother. 

But the Radio Demon breezed right past you and, before you could stop him, opened the door, and your mother whom you’d thought had given up at last and left waltzed right back in, suddenly no longer the aggrieved mother you’d thrown out and back to beaming a mile a minute. The self-assured smirk she sent your way had your blood boiling with rage, and you felt powerless to act. You wanted to slap that smirk off of her face, but why wouldn’t she smirk? She had Alastor exactly where she wanted him, and both of you knew it. 

“I apologize sincerely for the earlier… incident,” Alastor told your mother with a note olf sympathy in his voice, and again he took her hand; you had to tear your eyes away, back to the scene.

“Aren’t you charming!” your mother exclaimed, voice pleasant and upbeat. ‘Don’t even think of it, I’ve already forgotten.”

“You’re too kind, miss. But in order to make up for it, I’d like to offer you to spend the night. I would hate to send a lovely woman such as yourself out on the streets of Hell after sundown. I implore you.”

Fucking Christ. You didn’t even have to see her to know the way she was grinning at you. Your shoulders tensed, rising to your ears, and the tears burned hot in your eyes. Not wanting to give her the satisfaction, you bit your inner cheek hard enough to draw blood so as to not make the slightest sound alerting her to your tears.

“What a kind invitation. It’s nice to know at least somebody wants me here.” An icy silence from you. “It’d be rather rude not to accept; I would be happy to spend the night.”

“Lovely!” Alastor praised. 

You couldn’t take any more. Unable to stifle your sobs, hot tears falling down your cheeks, you tossed back a cracked “I’m going to bed,” and stormed out of the lobby with your head down, rushing upstairs as fast as you could and ignoring Alastor’s calls of your name. Just as you slammed the door to your room, you heard your mother say, “Oh, don’t worry about her. Let her cool off for a bit, and then I’ll go after her. A mother always knows how to cheer up her child.”

It was quiet now. Hours ago Angel Dust had returned from his work and Charlie and Vaggie had locked up for the night. Nifty had been, though with much effort, put to bed by Husk who had then closed up the bar and retired himself. You didn’t know where your mother or Alastor were, and you didn’t want to. 

You were the only one up now, and you had finally run out of tears. Your head was stuffy, your eyes were sore and bloodshot, and you could feel the beginnings of a hangover coming on. It felt like days you’d spent just crying in your bed, unable to suppress the emotion you’d felt since your mother reappeared that morning. Charlie had actually come to check on you earlier, worried, along with Vaggie, but Alastor had told them to let you be for now. You’d heard their muffled conversation from outside your door.

You just wished Alastor would understand, that they all would understand. Your mother wasn’t a mother. She didn’t nurture, she didn’t love, all she did was belittle you, bully you, and take from you. Yet never once had you been able to figure out what you’d ever done to her. You had tried so hard to help and to please her as a living child, then teenager, then adult- tending to your siblings when she was out on the town, working multiple jobs to take care of the house while she spent the day blackout drunk and the nights in the city, and still desperately believing she would change, you sent her portions of your salary when you grew older and begged her to utilize the money, but she always blew it on material shit. And as if it wasn’t enough that you had to be the mother to yourself and your siblings, she beat you too, mostly when she was drunk but sometimes you felt it was just for her amusement or to make you feel small and worthless. As a teenager she did nothing but sabotage you- you couldn’t ever have friends over because she was always passed out on the couch or acting erratic and stinking of cheap liquor, and you had to fight like hell to get your siblings out of there after you left home for school. And yet you had still had hope for her.

That all changed when you came to Hell. It was the end of the road for real now, and you figured there was no point trying to reconcile with your mother anymore. So you’d left her in the past, thinking it was over, finally allowing yourself a little peace. But you hadn’t realized the extent of the resent you’d been harboring until she showed up at the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel. All those feelings just came rushing back.

Another hour or so passed and your swollen eyes were dried out and heavy-lidded. Exhausted from fretting about your mother and regretting the amount you'd had to drink, you turned over in your bed with a stifled groan and closed your eyes, hoping that sleep would finally find you and you could escape the events of the day at least for a little while. But just as you were drifting off, you were startled by the sound of your bedroom door opening.

You let out a moan that was half confusion and half sleepiness, and rolled over just a little to glance at the door through hazy eyes. “Alastor?” you mumbled questioningly, rubbing your eyes groggily.

But the voice that responded woke you right up.

“Not a chance, pet.”

You sat up instantly, knocking the bedcovers off. In the doorway, a shadowy silhouette in the dimly lit hallway, was your mother. A discordant note of exasperation sounded in your head; the woman couldn't let you be even at this hour? For the moment at least, you were more mildly annoyed than pissed like you were earlier, just wondering what in the hell she could possibly want now.

“Why are you even-”

You cut yourself off and immediately jumped out of the bed just as your mother lunged at you like a pouncing tigress; you'd sensed the attack in the way she had been moving and acted accordingly before she could maul you. It didn't mean it didn't still catch you off guard, though.

Your voice rising, you snapped, “What the hell are you-”

Again you were interrupted when she sprung off the bed and snatched your wrists in her iron grip before you could dodge again; her clasp was tight and bruising and you winced painfully. You caught a glimpse of her eyes in the faint light, and they were inflamed, wild with fury she'd probably been suppressing this whole time. It wasn't a new expression.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” she snarled, voice trembling with fury. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you demanded, tearing your wrists from her grasp and moving a distance away from her so she was on one side of the bed and you were on the other. By the bewildered look on her face, she was clearly not expecting you to break away so effortlessly; maybe thinking she could just abuse you like she did when you were a defenseless child.

Like hell.

“What the hell are you even mad at me for?”

Your mother, seething, launched more accusations at you. “You think you're better than me, now, is it? Saw your sorry ass on the news after that damn Extermination rebellion. Bet it took your ego up a few notches killing those Exorcists, huh? And now that you're in some fancy hotel, dating some powerful boytoy and hiding behind hell's princess, you think you can just get rid of me?”

“Apparently fucking not, because here you are. And I'm not hiding. I'm trying to get away from you.”

Your mother let out a bitter, droll laugh. “Oh, you think that's how this works?” she hissed in an icy manner, and even though you were already a good distance away you backed up further still. “Think again, whore. I'm the one who deserves to be here, not some ungrateful little cunt who just happened to fall out of me. If I have to live destitute in the back alleys of Hell, so do you.”

The heartless insults and vulgarities she hurled your way would have shattered the living version of you. But it was about time your mother learned that you were no longer the pleading daughter you’d been on Earth, and instead of piercing your heart the names merely bounced off of you.

“You might recall I spent my whole damn life trying to help you,” you answered with equal coldness. “And for nothing, too, because here the hell we both are. Don't blame me because you turned out to be the nothing you always were.”

Without warning, she lunged at you, rushing forward like a charging bull, and though you tried to dodge she managed to snatch a handful of your hair and slam your head into the wall. You let out a cry of shock and pain and spots exploded in front of your vision before you reached up, tore her hand from your head and shoved her forward. You advanced again, teeth bared and fists balled, unwilling to let her get up- but before you could swing, there was a crackle in the air- and what followed was a cacophony of static, crackling, and microphone feedback that would've deafened an elephant. But the sound wasn't new to you, and you weren't surprised in the least when you lifted your eyes to see Alastor, smile maniacal and glowing red eyes wild as he entered the room. The sudden explosion of sound made your mother flinch and clap her hands over her ears, and seeing your opening, you kicked her to the ground; her head hit the wall rather roughly and she lost consciousness, her body going limp. You were breathing heavily, staring at her body sprawled on the ground without pity.

Alastor's eyes lost their luminescence and his smile softened; and he came over to you, attempting to touch you, but you shied away. You weren't necessarily ready to forgive him; if he'd just done a little more pushing and hadn't invited your mother here with you, this could have been avoided. You dropped your eyes to the floor.

“I'm sorry, my dear,” Alastor offered in a voice that was sufficiently staticky. “I wasn't too kind to you today.”

You wanted to say, no shit, but held your tongue, back to him still. Feelings of resent still swirled within you, but admittedly, hearing his apology did make them dissipate a little.

“Why is it you didn't simply tell me she was like this?”

Now you were silent not out of spite but more because…you simply didn't know what to say? Where were you to even begin? How would you explain that you didn't want to somehow tarnish his view of mothers by explaining your history with your own? And that you didn't want him to feel guilty about having a good relationship with his mother while yours was knocked out on the floor in front of you? And that you didn't want him to lose his love of mothers because you were unfortunate enough to have a shitty one? 

Somehow you managed to splutter all of that into something coherent, because Alastor gathered you in his arms without waiting for your approval, which you didn't mind, finally feeling somewhat okay since your mother had first shown up. You felt his hands in your hair, taming the out of place strands, and he lifted your wrists to his eyes, tutting in disapproval when he saw the bruises beginning to form. He settled for wordlessly kissing the deepening marks gently, but when he spotted the gash on your head where your mother had slammed you into the wall, his smile turned positively venomous. His head did a full 180 on his neck, which always made you cringe, to glare at your groggily awakening mother, who froze in her position on the floor when she caught his alarming gaze.

Alastor turned back to you, static popping in the air, and his smile grew- if that was even possible. “Well, sweetheart? What would you like me to do with her?”

You were frankly tired now of fighting your mother, who had staggered from the ground, rage still evident in her visage but with Alastor present she wasn’t about to act. So with a weary sigh, slumping into Alastor’s chest, you muttered, “I just want her gone.”

“Anything you wish.” And within the next few minutes, Alastor had summoned Nifty, who was more than eager to take out the trash, and had the tiny janitor drag your mother from your room by her hair. You lost sight of the two after they left, but by the way Nifty was giggling the entire time she was hauling your mother, you had a feeling the next several hours wouldn’t be too enjoyable for her.

You’d been on edge the whole day, but you didn’t quite realize the sheer amount of tension your mother’s presence had placed on you until it was only you and Alastor inside the room. His hand traced soothing circles around your back, and you finally felt like you could breathe.

The morning, after what seemed like centuries, finally did arrive. You were already up although day had barely broken, and that was because the earlier commotion had disturbed the hotel residents and they had literally gotten you and Alastor (who had evidently felt bad enough to spend the rest of the night with you, which he didn’t often do for posterity reasons, kissing the side of your head where it was wounded and apologizing once more) up out of bed to barrage you both with an onslaught of questions (and Nifty remaining suspiciously silent save the occasional maniacal giggle). With some reluctance you gave the group a brief explanation of everything that had gone down, Alastor standing beside you with a protective hand on your shoulder. Long story short, everyone basically grasped that they’d fucked up by allowing your mother in and judging you harshly about it, and before long Charlie was in tears and begging for you to forgive her, Vaggie had admitted her remorse over it, Angel Dust was shifty-eyed and sheepish, and Husk apologized to you formally. You dismissed the apologies with a grateful look, and that seemed to satisfy them all except Charlie, who you had to tell straight out you truly did forgive her at least five times and that only set her off bawling again to the point Vaggie had to carry the girl out.

Alastor, although one couldn’t tell by his face, apparently did feel guilty about his involvement in the whole fiasco because he took you out for breakfast and spent the rest of the day with you, and by the time night fell once more your cheeks hurt from smiling so much and your spirits were significantly lifted. It wasn’t until the two of you were in bed together (again, your lucky day, you didn’t even have to convince him) that he broke the long, contented silence you two had been sharing to inform you curtly:

“You didn’t ruin my opinion of mothers, you know.”

You sat up at this, eyes wide with hope and relief. He rose along with you to meet your gaze.

“I didn’t?”

“Oh, no. My dear, I love my own mother dearly, but don’t think I’m not aware that others may not have the same relationship with their own mothers. I did admire your resilience, though, and though it really wasn’t necessary, I do appreciate your attempt to spare my feelings. If I do say so myself”- his hand came to rest on your lower belly- “you seem like you’d make quite a stellar mother yourself.”

“Alastor.”

“Merely a thought.”

[interestofthemonth]

Alastor includes himself on couples' dates.

He follows Cherri and Pentious on a date every now and then just solely to be a nuisance. Cause some mayhem on the night out. Kill a waiter here, blow up a building there. It nearly ruins the dates every time, but Cherri is a freak and finds positive twists each time. "That waiter was my second cousin who was a dick anyway, at least I don't have to see him at family reunions now." "I'm an arsonist, what part of the building exploding did you think was gonna be a turn-off for me?" He continues to tag along out of the sheerest of boredoms.

Going along with Chaggie is more common. Charlie can (and has) straight up invited Al on dates. Hell's princess takes any bonding opportunity she can get - especially with Alastor who is most standoff-ish during her redemption lessons. It drives Vaggie mad how he worms his way into their day, but she loves her girl because of that impossibly good heart of hers so she always allows it. Charlie is just so happy to have a second dad who is interested in her life the hotel's benefactor take an interest in their way of life. As a trio, they'll take walks around the city, visit art museums (i would love to see the type of art a museum from Hell keeps), and go on picnics together. Tame to the point of tedious, but Al still enjoys the company and Vaggie's sour face.

But when Husk and Angel start having actual dates? 8/10 times Alastor is with them. Mostly bc he lives to be an annoyance for Husk. Cause, you know, Husk actually tries to be romantic for Angel Dust. After a life of repression and an afterlife of abuse, Angel doesn't really have a sense of romance even though he has a longing for it. The former Overlord wants to give him everything he deserves. They go to carnivals, to the drive-in theatres, to the beach, ice skating, dancing, stargazing. However, a candle-lit dinner looses some flare when your cannibal boss orders toes as an appetizer for the table. But Angel is still smiling so Husk is satisfied. Without knowing it, Al being a creep ends up helping Angel get better into the rhythm of going on real dates. It takes some of the pressure off of him to be perfect - to not fuck things up like he knows he always does. Plus Angel kind of likes Al - they both have a certain . . . draw to entertainment. Can't be bored for too long. So every now and then, they team up to cause chaos have fun and the poor kitty hangs his head as he goes along with his boyfriend's and contractor's every whim. Occasionally Al will bring Niffty as his plus one, claiming he needs to air her out a little bit so she might as well join their fun. Those turn into the most hectic nights but also the ones with the most laughter. And, truth be told, despite how everyone thinks Charlie is the biggest Huskerdust shipper (practically crying rainbows when they first became official) Alastor can and will do everything in his power to keep these fools together. He gets far too much enjoyment out of the pair. Hell, he starts looking forward to Thursday night swing dancing dates. The Radio Demon third wheels so hard to the point that he is a salty, bitter bitch for weeks after finding out Angel assigned Fat Nuggets as Best Man for their (imaginary) wedding. His temper tantrum ends when the couple tell him he can be the officiant.

[maxiskindahere]

Hell is forever | Lute x F!Reader

i’ve become obsessed w Hazbin Hotel recently and well where’s better to write than Tumblr!

I also love x readers and Lute so this is a fun time xx

i also haven’t written in a WHILE so this is not my best work but i promise im better xx

————

CW: swearing, sexual comments

Lute was an interesting person, she wasn’t typically the type of person you’d get in with. But since meeting her & Adam, you are sure that your life has improved… to an extent.

——

“Hey, Y/N! Don’t you think Lute would so much better with less on?” Adam teases as you walk into his office “Adam, you are going to be the first man with no dick if you don’t shut up.” Y/N deadpans, plopping down beside Lute on the couch

“You’re no fun, Y/N” Adam complains, throwing his head back with a groan “I just know that if I agree with you, Lute is very much able to fuck me up.”

You know of the exterminations, and you know Lutes body count. Being on her bad side is not something you wanted.

“Please, Lute’s too busy st-“ Adam is cut off with a yelp as Lute throws something at him “Shut up, Adam.” She hisses, glaring daggers at him “Fine fine” He mutters, flipping her off as you look between them in confusion

“So what happened in Hell?” You decide to ask, knowing the extermination had happened just a week prior. “Well we had a talk with Lucifers bitch daughter today.” Adam begins in a rant about how “Charles” decided to talk about how she wants the exterminations gone and some bullshit hotel

“She seriously thinks sinners can be redeemed?” Y/N questions, leaning forward “What does Sera think about this?” Adam scoffs, rolling his eyes

“she doesn’t know, it’s not like it’s going to cause problems anyways.”

——

Adam was wrong. It was definitely going to cause problems, but that wasn’t her issue. So, she continued on with her day while waiting for the time to come when she’d meet Lute for lunch.

“Sorry!” A voice exclaims as Y/N feels someone crash into her “Fuck!” She yelps out, quickly spinning around to be met with two demons and Emily, the seraphim of joy.

The h/c girl quickly straightens up “Seraphim Emily! What… are you doing here?” She splutters out, glancing nervously at the demons “Oh hush, Y/N. You know you can call me Em when Sera isn’t around” Emily informs the girl with a happy smile.

“Right well.. Em, what is.. going on?” She questions the seraphim, still glancing between the demons “Right! This is Charlie and Vaggie! They’re representatives from Hell!” The girl cheerfully explains

Y/N’s eyes widen “Holy crap! You’re the princess aren’t you?” She asks Charlie, whose face flushes “Yep, that’s me..!” She says awkwardly before taking Vaggies hand in hers “This is my girlfriend, Vaggie” She introduces with a soft smile

Y/N grins “I knew gay people went to he-“ She’s cut off by Emily wacking her lightly “I’m kidding! That’s sick, congrats” She says softly, fluttering her wings

“So, you here about this.. hotel thing?” Y/N questions, crossing her arms together “How do you know about that?” Emily quizzes the girl who pauses for a second “Uh, Lute told me!” She quickly states, rubbing her arm

Emily’s eyes widen “please tell me you two are-“ Before Emily can continue, Y/N spots Lute approaching the four “Respectfully, your majesty please stop” Y/N hisses out as Lute reaches them

“Y/N, where have you been?” Lute asks the girl, anger clear in her voice “Sorry, I ran into these lovely girls and you know how I feel about ditching people” Y/N states innocently, smirking at the anger in Lutes eyes “And you know how I feel about waiting, finish up here and meet me in my office.” Is all the taller girl says before departing

“She seems.. nice.” Charlie says after a few moments of silence “Oh she is, I just don’t think she likes demons” Y/N comments, she knew Emily was unaware of the exterminations and she was not about to admit that she knew to anyone.

“I’m not sure why, you two are lovely” Emily pouts, causing Charlie and Vaggie to give her light smiles “But uh, I better go.. Lute will be a pain if I keep her waiting much longer” She says, excusing herself as she bids farewell to the trio and makes her way to Lute’s office

“Hey..” Y/N says awkwardly, walking into the unlit office before being slammed against the now shut door “I can’t believe you!” Lute exclaims, glaring down at Y/N

“What did I do?” The girl yelps out, feeling the pain rush to her wings “You’re talking with Vaggie! Of all people!” Suddenly everything made sense.

Lute was always fighting for Adam’s favouritism with Vaggie. She was better than Vaggie in every way, but until Vaggies betrayal Adam couldn’t see it.

Since then, the girl had some serious issues with abandonment.

“Oh cmon Lute! You know I don’t care about that failure” Y/N tries to reassure as she feels Lutes heavy breathing hit her face “I only care about you, I promise” Y/N says softly as she notices Lutes eyes soften

“Sorry.” Lute mutters, still holding Y/N against the door “I know a way you can make it up to me” Y/N mumbles, looking down at Lutes lips before glancing back up at her eyes which were wide in surprise before slowly leaning down and capturing the angels lips.

Y/N quickly reciprocates the kiss, wrapping her arms around Lutes neck and pulling her closer, desperate to have the girl closer to her.

But before anymore could be done, Adam suddenly barges in knocking the two away from each other

“The trials starting, come on.”

—

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Band AU: Hazbin Hotel

Because there's always a band AU.

-666 News Broadcast Theme Plays through the dive bar cafe from the small, flickering TV in the corner-

Katie Killjoy: Breaking News in the Pop industry today! Our sunshine and rainbows, Mandy Moore wannabe, and Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar, has come out with a new music video to help promote a brand new album that appears to have been conjured up seemingly overnight.

Angel: Hey, Vagina! (Elbows Vaggie) Ain't that your girl crush from the open band night down at Husk's Casino two months ago?

Vaggie: (chokes on her coffee) What?! Turn it up, Jackass!

Angel: (steals the remote from across the bartop and turns up the TV)

Tom Trench: And, boy howdy, this makeover is on par with most Disney child stars diving off the deep end!

Katie Killjoy: (spears a pen through Tom's hand) No one gives a shit Tom.

Tom Trench: MY HAND!!!

Katie Killjoy: Spectators and fans of our usually diabetically sweet princess feel that this sudden shift is caused by her breakup with Seviathan Von Eldritch just last month, ending the royal arranged engagement, after he mentioned how she refused to "put out" before marriage in an interview with Hell's High Class Weekly.

Vaggie: (bristles) The douchebag....

Katie Killjoy: Let's watch as our lovely princess makes her breakdown public.

-Screen shifts to Charlie holding a mic in one hand while picking a guitar in another, wearing 2000's Avril Lavigne glam rock attire (hot pink, baggy cargo pants, black leather studded belt, rainbow converse, black leather wrist bands, grey tank top with two black goats faced just the right way so their curved horns make a heart and tied together with a rainbow knot, and a black and red stripped tie) Razzle and Dazzle are playing drums and bass-

Charlie: Don't you know that IIIIIIIII- (flips off the camera and sticks out her tongue while mouthing "Fuck you, Seviathan" as the song reaches its climax) I don't give a daaaaaaaamn about you!!! I won't give it up, not for you!!! I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy. A guy who thinks he's all that!

Vaggie: Whoa! (Big smiles like when Adam got stabbed) Get it, Charlie!

Katie Killjoy: (as the screen returns to normal) Other songs on the album include "Behind These Crimson Eyes", "The Dick Who Blocked His Own Shot", "Smack a Bitch", "Since U Been Gone", and the gay community's rabid favorite "Dear Vaggie"-

Angel: (sucking down his third popsicle for breakfast) What now?

Vaggie: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Katie Killjoy: -The obviously plagiarized parody of "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato has unsubtle lesbian and bisexual overtones that specifically mentions Vaggie "the Steel Vagina". The lead singer and guitarist of the Power/Grunge Metal band, Fallen Angels

Angel: (wheezes as he laughs breathlessly and falls off his stool)

Vaggie: (steaming) Angel!!! ¡Eres un chupapollas, hijo de puta! Why would you tell the news that was my name?!

Angel: (ugly walrus gasps and giggles) Because it's better than I ever dreamed!!!!

Katie Killjoy: Fans of both artists are absolutely frothing at the mouth to see what Vaggie's response will be.

Tom Trench: Frothing at the mouth and other orifices, if you catch my drift. (Gets a pen slammed into his balls) GaaAhaHaaaaHaha!

Katie Killjoy: More on this story tonight at eleven.

Vaggie:

Angel: Soooooo~ Whatcha wanna doooooo~?

Vaggie: We're going to Tune Town, getting a copy of that album-

Angel: Ooooooooh-hohohoooooh~ I can visit dat nice glory hole they got there.

Vaggie: -THEN!!! We are going back to the apartment and making a response single.

Angel: Do you know what you even want to put in it?

Vaggie: (slipping on her jacket) I'll figure it out after listening to the album!

[kittykatthatbitesback]

Hey! I love your beach head canons, and I would love to see your take on the Hazbin Hotel characters on a road trip/maybe a trip to a theme park? I feel like that would be cute lol.

Yes of course! This sounds so fun but I decided to make it a road trip to wherever the reader decides (Theme park, wherever)! This actually works perfectly as a prequel/sequel to my Beach Trip! Headcanons I've posted. Hope you enjoy!

Hazbin Hotel Road Trip! Headcanons

Characters: Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Angeldust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Vox, Lucifer, Adam, and Cherri Bomb

Charlie 🐐🫶

Originally wanted to be the one to drive, but Vaggie figured her inclination to be distracted by anything on the side of the road would cause everyone to crash, so Vaggie refused to let her drive at any point

Doesn’t even have her license so she wouldn’t be able to drive anyways so

“Ugh fine! Well, then, I call shotgun!!”

Went from Princess of Hell to passenger princess hehe

Was upset at not driving but got over it quickly as realizing she enjoys the view more than driving

“Oh my gosh look at those deer! Wait there’s more over there! Wait. Did we just drive past the rest area, I need to pee again!!”

Constantly nags the driver by chitchatting to them, regardless if they’re listening

A bad habit of hers is playfully hitting others when Charlie talks, but she forgets to not do this when driving

A couple of minor accidents nearly occur but she is unfazed

Is so pumped and asks to stop and look at any roadside attraction

It begins to become a bit annoying after a while

Vaggie ❌🥀

Is the one who drives for the most part on this road trip

Is a bit grumbly because she was woken up so early by an eager Charlie to go on this trip and needs her beauty sleep

Is the only one who can handle Charlie’s constant nagging and pushing, and is also the only one with a license out of the whole group, so logically the ex-Angel is the one who drives

Only pays attention to the road and not Charlie unfortunately for maximum safety

Is sipping on a large Circle K cup that she filled with Monster Energy prior to the trip

This just barely wakes her enough to watch the road

Has a bit of road rage but these guys are from Hell, what can you expect

Refuses to waste gas so only stops for gas when the car is literally empty

Empty like everyone else had to get out of the car and push it to the nearest gas station that was three miles away, empty

“Come on guys, we’re almost there.” She’ll say smugly sipping her Monster from within the car in the AC

Alastor 🦌📻

Was invited on this road trip, but ended up driving on his own to their destination

Yes, he doesn’t have a license, but he’s the Radio Demon he does what he pleases

Mainly decided to drive separately so that he could listen to his radio in peace without complaints or extra unnecessary noise

Is listening to jazz, and keeps on repeating the songs: “Fly Me to the Moon” and “Sing, Sing, Sing”

Also prefers to be alone, he vibes better that way and is more in his element

Drives the coolest, red, vintage pick up truck ever

All the girls and guys at the stop lights are just fawning over him but the Radio Demon can’t see anything past the road in his shades

Drives super fast and only stops for gas, which considering the age of his truck, ends up happening often

Angeldust 🕷️❤️‍🔥

Wanted to get one of those party buses with the strip poles inside but now has to make do with the crew’s giant van

Enough space to do lines of coke so it’s okay

Obviously snuck in drugs and alcohol, this is a given, it’s Angeldust come on

“I call aux!!” and plays his playlist titled Cunty B*tch

It’s a bunch of Ayesha Erotica, Kesha, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, etc.

Screams all of the songs at the top of his lungs while hanging out of the window

“HE MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE HE GETS BITCHES, BUT HONEY THAT DICK WAS ELEVEN INCHES!”

Husk has to pull him inside but he’s just having the time of his life

Loud as Hell but provides the entertainment, and Vaggie appreciates his music taste

Has to get Vaggie to pull over and proceeds to violently throw up all the alcohol he chugged earlier on the side of the highway as Cherri films laughing from inside the van

Immediately falls asleep after this embarrassing moment as the aftermath of his “fun” takes a toll on him

Husk 🐈‍⬛🥃

Was planning to catch up on missed hours of sleep by dozing through this entire trip, but Angeldust made this quite hard

Is wrapped up in a blanket, eye mask on, earplugs in, headphones on, neck pillow propped, and stuffed toy snuggled (HE SLEEPS WITH A STUFFED TOY OMG)

It’s a miniature Pegasus he named after his favorite drink: Whiskey

Angeldust, Cherri, and Adam won’t stop making fun of him the entire trip

This, plus Angeldust’s music, Charlie’s nonstop talking causes Husk to EXPLODE

“IF YOU ALL DONT SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND!”

But his geared-up sleep ware makes him look a bit goofy as he shouts this, so everyone instead bursts out laughing

The feline just grumbles to himself as he decides to just stare out the window depressingly for the rest of the ride

Gets bored and ends up practicing Poker and Solitaire with the cards he brought

Is also keeping an eye on Angeldust who at first was off the wall

Once Angeldust passes out, Husk covers him with his blanket so he’s not cold (aww)

Sir Pentious 🐍🥚

Actually was the one who designed and crafted the van

The original van wasn’t big enough for the whole crew after Cherri decided to join in last minute, so of course the snake is going to build an ENTIRE new vehicle for his Cherri Bomb <3

Engineered the van for maximum comfort and refused Angeldust’s pleads for strip poles inside; “Thossse would be ssso uneccesssary!”

Instead, he included luxurious feet space, and AC and heater system throughout the whole van, seats with massaging for backs and feet, mini TVs on the back of each seat, and a fancy mini fridge for food

Also built miniature seats for his Egg Bois with built-in heating pads in case they get too cold in the AC

These Egg Bois have a really specific temperature range they can survive in, so those same heating pads were engineered by Sir Pentious to also work as cooling pads

“Anything for my babiesss”

Came extra prepared and was the only one to bring snacks and drinks to put in the cooler

Is constantly offering Cherri a water or coke whenever she is “looking a bit dehydrated”

Which happens to be every 2 minutes according to him

Is trying so hard to flex on her the fact that he built the van

“Ssssoo Cherri, how are you enjoying the back masssssage? I programmed it to perfectly meet the needsss of a beautiful lady like you”

Bro with 0 rizz somehow ends up charming her

Vox 🖥️⚡️

This TV ignores the mini TVs Sir Pentious built arguing they’re “not of top Vox quality”

Tries to hijack them to prove his point, but Sir Pentious is smarter than that and even his mini TVs are Vox-resistant

Ego bruised, now tries to hijack the radio to turn off Angeldust’s loud ass music, but Sir Pentious ALSO came prepared for that

Sir Pentious even shaped his seat and headrest to fit Vox’s big ass TV head perfectly, so Vox isn’t able to complain about anything

Now an upset Vox is left to sit in silence for most of the trip

Will chime in occasionally to the conversations but you can tell his pride was hurt

Spends his hours of silence to brainstorm ways to defeat Alastor

Lucifer 🪽🐤

Brought his rubber duckies to play house with them on the ride

To everyone’s surprise, knows all the lyrics to all of Angeldust’s songs

“What! I enjoy these too!” Proceeds to lip sync them in the most fruity way

Is Lucifer straight or gay? Bi? No one knows.

Is definitely that one person in a car ride to try to start a game of “100 bottles of beer on a wall” or the game of concentration

LIVES for these games

“20 questions” is his favorite

Tries to get everyone involved and yells at Husk once he sees he’s playing his own game of Poker

Husk suggests that Lucifer should play the silent game

Will try to convince the others to play by reciting them old dad jokes

This does not work

Adam 🎸🤘

Will definitely pig out on all of those snack Sir Pentious brought

“YO WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BEER”

Forces Vaggie to stop at a gas station 5 minutes into the trip to buy 3 twelve packs of beer

Is absolutely in his happy place with the massage chair, vast feet space, TV playing “Too Hot to Handle”, chips, and beer

Is the only one who manages to trash his space with wrappers, spills, and crumbs

Does not give a fuck

Has his window down, sunglasses on, and wind blowing in his face while he just yells

Shouts and catcalls to every hot chick they pass by

Brought an air horn to do that more efficiently while on the highway

Is seated next to Vox so is taunting and teasing him about the whole incident earlier

“Hmm not so tough anymore huh? Even these mini TVs are doing a better job than you!”

Is a bit of a menace

Cherri Bomb 🍒💣

Only joined last minute for the trip because she thought it would be lame at first

But Angeldust promised to bring along drugs and alcohol so she agreed

Made a certain snake sooo happy that she decided to come

Is constantly nagged by him throughout this whole trip but she has grown used to it

She even starts to think it’s cute how much he cares

Has to stop to go pee so often because of all the beverages Sir Pentious keeps offering her

Doesn’t wait for a rest area, will pop a squat on the side of the road

Sings along with Angeldust (and Lucifer??) to all the songs

Actually she’s the one who made the playlist and shared it with Angeldust ;)

“Ooh ooh skip this one, the next one’s even better!”

Brought an Erotica novel to read (she usually just skips to the good parts)

Is glad to be sitting next to Angeldust but still films him as he throws up so that they can joke about it later

Passes time with him playing, Fuck, Marry, Kill

She ends up answering Fuck to all the options

[tired-and-ticklish]

What Goes Around Comes Around

Third and finale part to Rough Day and Bonding Exercise.

Summary: Charlie is ecstatic her bonding exercise idea worked. Though, it might have worked a little too well, as she, Vaggie, and Alastor soon find out.

TW: Tickling, Swearing, Angel Dust being Angel Dust, Australian Slang and Swears

Disclaimer: I do not support V*v*z*epop, I simply like the characters and exploring their dynamics, usually in silly ways.

“Are you okay, Angel?” Charlie asked as she patted his side. Said spider was currently curled up on himself, trying to get rid of any lingering ticklish sensations.

“F-Fucking… peachy Charlie.” The pornstar replied, waving one of his many hands. “You’re both evil.”

“C’mon, like you didn’t enjoy yourself.” Vaggie teased, which made Angel’s face go slightly pink. “Otherwise you would have asked us to stop sooner.”

“Oh, fuck off!”

Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at the scene before her.

“Oh, you think this is funny, princess?” Angel Dust asked, a mischievous look in his eyes. “I’ll give ya something to laugh about!”

Before Hell’s Princess could react, the spider’s hands were already upon her, his upper ones tickling her ribs, while his lower ones squeezed her sides. The reaction was immediate, Charlie letting the giggles flow out of her. She kind of expected this retaliation, but it was okay. That was the point of the exercise!

“W-Wahhahaait Ahahahahangel!”

“Wait for what? For ya to tickle me again? Fat chance!”

Charlie squealed, kicking her legs out as she did. It was obvious to see that the Princess of Hell was enjoying this little ‘exercise’, laughing her heart out and not even trying to push the spider away. Vaggie couldn’t help but chuckle in response. It was no secret that Charlie loved silly activities like this, given the many tickle fights the two had during their three years together.

“Don’t bully my girlfriend too much.” Vaggie warned, getting a bit closer to watch Charlie.

“Oh, I won’t.” Angel said, removing the arms on his left side from Charlie. “After all, there’s two people I need to get back.”

That was all the warning the bodyguard got as both Angel’s left hands started tickling her. She jolted from the touch, biting her lip and trying not to laugh. Vaggie was the bodyguard of the hotel, for fuck’s sake, she couldn’t let anyone know (save for Charlie who already knew), that she was ticklish! But damn Angel and his extra hands! It was unfair!

“Didn’t think I could focus on two people at once~?” Angel asked, moving his hands toward Vaggie’s stomach. “Do you even know me?”

“Anahahahahangel yoohohoohhoh diihihihihck!” Vaggie cried out, causing the spider to gasp in mock shock.

“A dick? Now is that any way to talk to someone who’s making you and cha cha laugh~?” 

“Vahahahahahggihihihie beheheheh nihihihihice!”

“Sthahahahahay ohohohohout ohohohof thihihihis, Chahahaharlie!”

“Uh oh, the girls are fighting~”

It was completely unfair that Angel could tickle both of them at once! While the hands on his right side started moving to Charlie’s hips, the hands on his left went toward Vaggie’s ribs. The spider then decided to switch it up, using both his upper arms to slowly drag on the bodyguard’s ribs, while his lower ones drilled into the Princess’ hips.

The reactions he got were very promising.

“ANAHAHAHAHNGEL IIHIIHIHHIH’M GOHOOHOHHING TO FUUHUHUHCKING KIHIHIHIHLL YOOHOHOHU!”

“WAHAHAHAIT WAHAHAIT-” *bleat!*

“Oh my fucking God.” Angel’s face broke into a wide, evil grin. “You fucking bleated! Like a damn goat!”

“DOHOHOHOHON’T THEHEHHEEASE MEHEHEHEHE!”

“Hey, either of you ever heard the ‘itsy bitsy spider’ song~?”

"DOOHOHOHOHOHON'T!" Both girls pleaded.

"Man, you both make this too easy~"

—

“Well, Husker, I have to say that was quite entertaining!” Alastor mused as the bartender caught his breath. 

“May…Maybe for you, you sadistic asshole.” Husk said, glaring slightly at the Overlord, who simply shrugged.

“You can’t deny you’ve enjoyed yourself, Husker.” The Radio Demon teased, that smug grin never leaving his face.

“Well, I’m about to enjoy this a lot more.” The bartender said, still glaring at Alastor, but now with a malicious smile.

Before Alastor could react, Husk’s tail had wrapped around his ankle, dragging the taller demon over to him. The Overlord quickly realized what was about to happen, trying to free himself from the cat demon’s grasp.

“Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” Alastor warned, his normally terrifying smile twitching into a more nervous one.

“Big talk for someone who’s just as sensitive.” Husk teased, before poking at the deer’s sides.

The reaction was instant, Alastor freezing up before biting his lip. He really should have seen this coming, and perhaps he did. Afterall, if he truly hated it, he would have already teleported out of Husk’s hold, or mauled the bartender for even daring to try. Still, that didn’t mean he’d actually admit that, as he tried to shove Husk off him.

“R-Rehehehelease me at on-AHAHAHAHA!”

Husk’s hands made their way to Alastor’s hips, digging his claws into the sensitive area. The Radio Demon’s laughter poured out in earnest as he tried to grab Husk’s hands. The bartender simply kneaded his hands a bit harder into the deer’s hips, causing another scream of laughter.

“Damn, boss, no wonder you hate being touched.” Husk hummed “Imagine people finding out you’re this ticklish.”

“Huhuhuhusker! Dohohohohn’t tehehehease me!” Alastor exclaimed, kicking his legs a bit.

“What? You think I’m stupid enough to tease you?” Husk asked, greatly amused. “I’m just stating some facts, boss.”

Alastor attempted to protest, but he was cut off by the feeling of the feathered end of Husk’s tail tickling his stomach, making him shriek. He could feel it even through his shirt, the Radio Demon’s stomach was just that ticklish. Alastor mentally cursed Charlie for this ridiculous bonding idea, despite the fact he agreed to it.

Husk, meanwhile, hummed a bit as he poked and prodded at his boss’ hips, deciding to torment him there for a few more moments. Alastor then felt him stop, though the bartender’s tail was still tickling his stomach, before feeling Husk turn toward his legs. A screech of panicked radio static came from his throat.

“H-Huhuhuhusker wahahait! W-Whehehhe cahahaan tahahahalk about thihihihis!” Alastor attempted to plead as the bartender took off his shoes.

“Sure, you talk Boss.” Husk said, turning to give the Radio Demon a grin. “And I’ll tickle.”

The way Alastor howled as Husk slowly dragged his claws up and down the deer hooves was almost enough to make the bartender worry people would think he was killing the deer, until pleas of laughter burst forth, Alastor’s voice switching between radio static and his actual voice. It probably didn’t help matters that his tail was still tickling his boss’ stomach.

“You know, you can blame Rosie for me knowing this.” Husk told the Radio Demon, chuckling at his reactions.

“IHIHIHIHIH’M GOOHOHOHHING TOHOHOHOH EHEHEHEND HEHEHEHEER!”

“No you won’t.”

Alastor hated when Husk was right. He could never truly stay mad at the Cannibal Overlord for long, even if she had betrayed him and told both his ‘employees’ of his ticklish nature, and where to tickle to get him screaming. Despite it all, the deer could feel his tail wagging slightly under his coat, another reason he kept it hidden.

“Hey, you were giving me shit about my wings before, but your hooves are even worse off.” Husk mused, pressing into the pads. “Maybe I should tell Niffty about that~”

“IIHIHIHIH WOHOHOOHOHN’T HIHIHIIHIF YOOHOHOHOU WOOHOHOHN’T!” Alastor pleaded.

“Sure you won’t.” Husk chuckled. “You won’t directly tell her anything, but I know you, fucker. You’ll drop hints about it to her.”

“NOHOHOHOH IHIHIHIHDEHEHEHEA WHAHAHAHAT YOOHOHOHU MEHEHEHEAN!”

“Maybe I should tell her to clean your ears too, make sure you can actually hear shit.”

“HUHUHUHUHUSKER!”

—

Once Angel Dust and Husk had decided their revenge was thoroughly gotten, they had let their victims go. All five of them then met up with each other on the way back to the hotel lobby. Vaggie and Charlie had their hands on each other’s hips, Angel and Husk were walking close together, while Alastor simply strode close by, using his microphone as a cane.

“I mean, I also need to get Niffty back for tickling me in the first place.” Angel said, chuckling at the idea.

“Tough shit, legs.” Husk began, slightly amused by Angel’s confused expression. “She ain’t ticklish.”

“Bullshit!”

“I’m afraid it’s true, my arachnid companion.” Alastor butted in, twisting his head toward the spider’s direction. “Our darling little Niffty isn’t the slightest bit ticklish!”

“Dammit!” Angel huffed. “That’s just unfair! Someone small and dangerous like her shouldn’t have that much power!”

“Try telling that to him.” Husk said, nodding his head toward Alastor’s direction.

“I’m insulted you think it’s my fault she’s like this.” Alastor said, placing a hand to his chest in mock hurt.

“Remind me not to give her any excuse to try with us, then.” Vaggie said tiredly. “Also you want to talk about unfair? How about the fact you have four arms?!”

“Six.” Angel corrected, popping out his third set of arms, which waved to the bodyguard, before pulling them back into his body. “Be happy I didn’t decide to use them on you and cha cha.”

“Though, I assume for balance, all of your underarms are terribly ticklish?” Alastor asked, his grin spreading wider as Angel sputtered in response, the pornstar’s face turning pink.

Before Angel could come up with a good comeback, all of them heard the sounds of someone screaming. They ran toward the source, each ready to fight whatever or whoever was attacking someone, only to be surprised by the sight of Niffty, dusting off Sir Pentious like she had done to Angel earlier.

“Ssssoohohohohomeohhohone gehehehehet hehehher ohohohohff ohohohohf mehehehe!” The snake pleaded, trying his best to grab the agile maid.

“You’re dirty!” Niffty replied, moving the duster toward his hood.

“Miihihihihisss Boohohohohmb, pleheheheesssehehhe hehehelp!”

“Nah, you’re on your own, mate.” Cherri Bomb replied, the others having not noticed her due to Sir Pentious’ reaction. She noticed them though. “Angie! Ya bitch, care to explain why tiny here is on a cleanin’ crusade?”

“She’s always like that.” Angel told her.

“Bloody ace.” Cherri replied sarcastically. “Pen and I just got back and apparently the shelia’s offended by how ‘dirty’ we are.”

“NOOHOHHOOT THEHEHEHERE!” Sir Pentious squealed as Niffty got to his neck.

“Well, perhaps this is an opportunity.” Alastor said, grinning.

“For what?” Husk asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, our newest residents haven’t joined in on our little ‘bonding’ exercise!” Alastor said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It wouldn’t be fair to let them miss out, after all!”

“Oohoho, you hear that, sugar tits?” Angel asked, wiggling his fingers at Cherri, who immediately reacted.

“Angie, I’m fuckin’ warnin’ ya!” She said, going on the defensive. “I’ll make sure ya bloody regret it!”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“Especially since he won’t be the only one helping.” Vaggie said with a grin, immediately tackling the cyclops. “Consider this revenge for blowing up our wall last week.”

“You’re still whingin’ about that?!”

“It did take some time for us to fix it.” Alastor mused, though instead of heading over to Cherri, he instead made his way toward Sir Pentious. “Niffty darling, may Husker and I be of assistance?”

“Of course, Alastor!” niffty said excitedly, ceasing her ticklish onslaught temporarily.

Sir Pentious caught his breath. “T-thank you, misssster Radio Demon ssssssssir.”

“Oh ho, don’t thank me yet.” Alastor said with a teasing tone. “Consider this revenge for ruining my coat, and for trying to spy on us for the Vees.”

“He did what?!” Husk exclaimed.

“Oops, did no one tell you~?” Alastor asked.

“Now guys, we aren’t doing this to be mean.” Charlie tried to plead, but she couldn’t deny her own mischievous grin growing on her face. “Even if it is a kind way to punish them.”

“Oooh, Princess has a dark side~?” Cherri asked. “Kink- whahahaait!”

“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” Vaggie growled as she dug her hands into the cyclops’ armpits. “Only I get to talk to her like that~”

“Wow, you struck a nerve, Cherri.” Angel said with a chuckle, coming over and grabbing Cherri’s arms to pull them up and out of Vaggie’s way. “After you, vagina.”

“Getting you back for that later.” Vaggie threatened.

“Ahahahahanghiihihihe yohohohoohu cuhuhuhuhunt!”

Charlie gasped. “We don’t use that kind of language in the hotel!” She tsked, coming over to help her girlfriend and first patron. “Guess we’ll just have to tickle it out of you~!”

“Charlie, we swear all the fucking time.” Angel deadpanned.

“Well, not that word!”

“Now, Niffty.” Alastor asked as he held Sir Pentious. “Where haven’t you tried yet~?”

“M-Misssster Radio Demon, pleassssse reconssssid-”

“I haven’t touched his tail yet.” Niffty answered.

“Wonder if this would work.” Husk hummed, using the feathered end of his tail to stroke Sir Pentious’ own.

The results were much better than expected.

“WAHAHAHAIT NOHOHOHOHO!”

“Goodness me, quite a weakness!” Alastor teased. “Imagine your idols finding out about this~”

“Come on Boss, don’t be too much of an asshole.” Husk said jokingly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Husker!”

“Not going to call you a liar, only because I don’t even know if you sleep.”

“Your concern is duly noted.”

Charlie was happy everyone was having fun and getting along. She needed to remember to put ‘weekly bonding exercises’ on their hotel schedule. For now, however, she was enjoying herself as much as everyone else, laughing along and tickling people to her heart’s content. She was sure the residents of the Hazbin Hotel would be redeemed in no time.

[bloodreddemons]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7-8 (Finale) Hot Takes ~

I personally loved a lot of the Charlastor content in the beginning. So cute.

The deal Alastor purposed to Charlie was also very predictable. We already knew they were going to eventually make a deal but that deal in particular was just very predictable.

I think everyone knows this already but that "one little favor" that Alastor is going to ask of her is going to bite her in the ass. We don't know what he's going to ask but it's definitely gonna come back to haunt her.

She may even make a deal with him again possibly in the future, who knows.

I'm surprised Vaggie didn't know Angel's could be harmed or killed. Its weird that she also didn't know how to fight against one.

Rosie is a real gem and a wayyyyy better friend than Mimzy fucking is.

I love Carmilla & Vaggie's dynamic. I think they both are very much the same personality wise. I definitely can see Carmilla as a mother figure to her or at least a teacher to her, which she pretty much is.

To follow up, I loved Carmilla training Vaggie and helping her get her wings back. Out For Love was also really really good. I liked it a lot.

Never thought I'd hear Alastor call someone an old bitch but it was everything.

I knew Charlie was gonna forgive Vaggie regardless of anything but I love Auntie Rosie.

I didn't really like "Ready For This". I wish I did like it. Especially since it had Charlie, Alastor, & Rosie in it. Idk I liked Out For Love more.

Vox's commentary was funny asf but he's also such a hater. Not even a low-key one lmao.

The post-fight celebration and speech was actually very sweet. Although I wish there was more time and episodes that we could have seen more of the characters bond. I also wish there were more opportunities where we got to know them better.

I really thought Angel & Husk were gonna fuck this episode.

I wasn't expecting for Sir Pentious to say "I love you" to Cherri Bomb so soon and I also didn't need to know he had 2 dicks.

"More Than Anything" Chaggie version was pretty sweet. It'd be cool if there was a longer version idk if there is. They also kissed which was nice.

Adam & Lute are funny asf. Especially Adam. They may be horrible people but I just can't get over how funny they are. Even when they're about to massacre Charlie's people. Lol.

I wasn't expecting the war to be kinda epic. The shield that Alastor put up over the hotel kinda reminded me of the last Harry Potter. When they all put a shield around Hogwart's to protect everyone from the death eaters and voldemort.

Adam might just be the funniest character in this series dead or alive. Heaven or Hell.

It pisses me off how Charlie barely does anything in the fight. Like, this is her people and her fucking hotel as she keeps saying... yet everybody else but her is fighting. Wtf? Girl yo ass should be in Sloth.

I love Alastor & Adam's dynamic, their first impression of eachother is so hilarious. The fight between them was also very entertaining. I was really curious to see who would win.

I was actually kinda surprised that Alastor was defeated so easily. I honestly thought he was stronger than that, but tbh Adam is very powerful he's the fucking first man, extermination commander, and he already single handedly broke Alastor's shield.

People have pointed out Alastor's "normal" voice when his mic/staff breaks, because it's his voice without the radio filter. Imma be honest I wasn't that shocked at all, he just sounds the same to me, the radio filter just adds a cool effect.

Charlie really could have got tf up there and helped Alastor out. Idk if she thought he could handle himself or what but fuck.

SIR PENTIOUS KISSING CHERRI WAS AMAZING. WE WON. But then he "died"...

To follow up that sacrifice was anticlimactic at the same time. Mostly because of the way Adam just effortlessly zapped him out of existence.

I'm so disappointed in the "Charlie finally snaps" bit. I was literally dying to see this part in the series, where Charlie finally loses her shit and stands up for herself or whatevever....but it ended up being extremely disappointing and yet again, anticlimactic.

Charlie's transformation along with Razzle & Dazzle was kindaaa cool, however...her getting her ass kicked within like 0.3 fucking seconds was not. It was embarrassing for a demon of her status. I can understand Alastor, but seriously Charlie? You can't beat him? The clownery.

I loved the Vaggie & Lute fight. Let my girl Vaggie finally get her ones. Lute needs her ass beat disrespectfully for what she did.

Although...Lute was winning that fight, she was still holding her own and getting more hits in. I don't even think Carmilla's teaching's were working. Lmao damn. That bitch is fucking scrappy.

Vaggie should have just ended Lute. I know she's too good for that, but she really should have just killed that bitch. She left you for dead you should have just killed her.

Charlie stabbing Adam and standing her ground was badass, but that was kinda it. She still ends up almost getting choked out. Lame.

Charlie just isn't that powerful. 😒 Or at least as she's supposed to be. Maybe it's still not really shown to us, but so far she just isn't that threatening at all. Very disappointing.

Lucifer coming in kinda pissed me off. I wish Charlie could have actually handled everything herself without her dad having to come in and help her. I just feel like it'd be more impactful for her and her character.

Adam x Lucifer actually does seem kinda hot....just me???

Their fight was very entertaining despite already knowing who would come out on top. Hehe.

"All of Mankind came from these fucking nutts" is pure poetry.

Nifty is a menace and I have been saying it since the very beginning. If anyone should be running shit it should be her. Alastor is so feared but it should be herrrr.

I didn't like "The Show Must Go On" as a song but it was sweet in the sense that it was about Charlie and her found family helping her rebuild her hotel and still have the determination to keep going. Also it helps lead off into Season 2.

I'm fucking itching to know what deal is bothering Alastor and who he made it with. It's becoming more likely that it's with Lilith & that's who owns him.

I think it's obvious the deal possibly involve's Alastor to watch over or protect Charlie. Alastor is becoming bothered by having to do this because he literally almost fucking died.

I'm really worried about what Alastor is going to do when he's finally free and under no restraints from who controls him. I know Viv said Alastor isn't an antagonist but she could've just been keeping it a secret.

Alastor really might be a secret antagonist. He'll just be that surprise villain in the end that kinda comes out of nowhere but you still knew it was coming. I wouldn't trust him especially with what he said. Him pulling the strings can't be good.

I can't believe Sir Pentious got redeemed before Angel Dust, but still good for him! I'm so happy he got redeemed he truly is good and deserves it.

I was pissed asf when I saw Lilith in Heaven. Your daughter has been in HELL fucking struggling, while you've been sitting comfy up in heaven, the same place that is fucking YOUR people up!!! Helloooo??

My theory is that Lilith is Eve in disguise. I wholeheartedly believe that because something just feels off?? Y'all feel that too??? Lilith making a deal with Adam? Chilling up in Heaven? NAH MAN.

I also think it could be Eve who owns Alastor and that he knows of her being disguised as Eve, and is in Heaven. Like he's kinda in on it, but more so by force.

[mystic-orb88]

HAZBIN TRAILER OBSERVATIONS!!

Okay, so this shot tells us a lot about the geography of The Pride Ring. We see that the Hotel’s wayy out, really sending the message that the sheer concepts of hope, redemption, and everything it stands for is outcasted and rejected by the rest of the city. The Clock Tower is in the heart of the city, showing how it is the main cog in the machine. The Porn Studios building on the left, poooossibly the Cannibal Colony or Rosie’s Emporium on the lower right. There’s also a lovely balanced distinction of modernity shown in the absence or presence of neon lights dotting the buildings throughout various districts. This shows that the Sinners prefer to live in conditions similar to those of when they were alive. Heaven, as well as a weird red moon are also visible.

This looks like Cherri’s attacking the Hotel with one Hell of a pyrotechnic display (Seriously, how does one attain such a massive singular smoke bomb??) Possibly because she is aware that Sir Pentious is taking sanctuary there. Luckily Alastor’s Radio Tower looks like it came through unscathed.

Looks like Alastor and Charlie are taking a stroll in the same park in the Prequel comic.

I love how everyone looks so fake and nervous and then Razzle and Dazzle, Charlie’s lil’ protectors/assistants/plushies are just looking so pure and adorable. Actually zoom in on their faces, do it. Also, as soon as you see Husks face, the frame can officially get worse. Also there’s a bag of drugs or.. something on the table, I’m guessing PCP knowing Angel. It bears resemblance to the bag in the pilot.

It’s also here, on the right side of Lucifer. So we now know some sort of celebration was at the Hotel, and Lucifer visited. Decorations are still up.

Travis. What the Hell’s he doin’ there?? Love to see him back for a gag. Also, someone try and read that script. There’s a memo or mail box on the side that is overflowing. This building looks similar to a setting in R2NinjaTurtle’s Valentino Board Animatic. Same with Vox’s Tv Screen Lair Thingy.

Nice shot from the ‘Happy Day in Hell’ Song number of the Cannibal town with a lovely late 1800s-early 1900s theme. Bring back this fashion, or like a cool, modern-inspired version. Please. Also, there’s a lil’ Chimney Sweep who looks like this very Dick Van Dyke-inspired O.C. I drew a while ago (maybe it is him, you decide).

Alastor took the trouble of talking to this nice overlord chap while filming this nice man who is in the process of committing unspontaneous combustion.

This shrunken voodoo head is here, while Alastor and a nice lady with a dead fox scarf and an oversized version of Voldemort’s wand repurposed as a cane are in the background.

Just appreciation for how perfectly this frame captures their personalities.

Charlie: You’re doing awesome, my script is great, isn’t it? I’m so happy at this moment.

Vaggie: I’m too tired for this crud.

Angel: I’ve read some real interesting scripts in my time but none as terrible as this one. Also someone get me outta this coat, it’s filthy an’ it reeks of the 40’s.

Niffty: *gremlin* Seriously, stop looking at him like that girl.

Husk: How the f*** did I end up here?? It’ll all be over soon.

Alastor. How to sit like a sir while plotting unavoidable carnage.

Pentious: Lollypop, lollypop oohh lolly lollypop, lolly pop, lolly pop- WHERE DID HIS HAT EYE GO?? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT?? IS IT LIKE AN EXTENSION OF HIMSELF, LIKE HOW ALASTOR CAN MAKE HIS MICROPHONE DISAPPEAR UP HIS SLEEVE??

Nothing much about this one, it’s just one of my favourite frames in the trailer. I absolutely love how expressively and awesomely animated Alastor is here. Really captures his theatrical tone. And we get a snippet of Rosie’s voice!! Also the song is FIREE. It will hit so hard when it comes out and further context is given.

[nixie-writes]

Headcanons for Charlie, Beelzebub, and Vaggie with a mute girl S/O?

Charlie

-she already knows ASL so she can communicate with you quite easily. The issue is getting others to learn ASL so they can communicate with you. She taught the rest of the staff how to use basic sign language so they can talk to you on a simple level.

-being the girlfriend of Hell's princess has its benefits. Some demon was pissed that you weren't talking to them and you were trying to sign that you were mute but they took it as aggression. Charlie stepped in and told them to heck off (she refuses to be mean to a potential client) and told them calmly that you were mute. They flipped you two off and walked away.

-you looked down in the dumps from the aggressive demon. Charlie signed, "are you okay?" You signed back, "a little upset but okay". Charlie hugged you and signed, "I'll always be here for you".

Vaggie

-from the day she met you she was over protective of you. She went everywhere with you, the weapon brandished against anyone who dared mock you or piss you off for being mute.

-she took you to a coffee shop one day and it was your turn to order, and you signed for a pumpkin spice latte. The barista rolled her eyes; "oh god someone who won't talk, I can't handle this. Stan, get your ass out here!" She shoved a nervous looking employee your way. You signed again for a pumpkin spice latte and much to both of your surprise, he signed back "do you want whipped cream?" You nodded your head fervently, excited that someone else understood ASL.

-while you and Vaggie were enjoying your coffees, Vaggie signed to you "did she get to you?" You signed back "a little". Vaggie gave you a tight hug and signed "I'll always protect you".

Beelzebub

-Bee loved to throw parties with Vortex, and now that you were a part of the relationship, she threw a party for you too. Plenty of Beelzyljuice, plenty of music to dance to. She signed to you that the party was for you, and you signed back your thanks.

-while you were dancing with Vortex you accidentally bumped into another imp, who made a big stink out of it. He started yelling about how disrespectful you were for bumping into him and other demons started paying attention. You tried signing that you were sorry but he scoffed. "Your little hand movements don't mean shit to me! Talk dumbass!" Bee interrupted, telling the imp he couldn't talk to you like that and he backed away at the sight of a pissed off deadly sin. He pushed through the crowd and left.

-Bee hugged you tight and signed to you "are you alright?" You nodded your head, signing back "he was just a dick". Bee told everyone to go back to partying and soon it was like the conflict never happened. Bee kissed you on the cheek and Vortex signed to you "don't worry, we got your back".

[wolfoftheblackflames]

Hey, my misfits, who's hungry for more cute fluff, friends to lovers, and a tale as old as time?! Enjoy my Beauty and the Beast AU: Chaggie style!

The Devil and the Innocent: Pt.1

It was a long time ago, in a far-off place. A king had disappeared, leaving behind his daughter. The child was kind to a fault, but one day when the worst day of her life happened. She, in her fit of rage, brought hell upon her ex, the man had been caught cheating, locking herself away in her castle afterward, the Princess never came out again. “Why can't I find someone who loves me for me!” She would wail sobbing into her pillows.

Her cries were answered when an enchantress disguised as an old crone appeared at the door. Still in pain and distraught with none to comfort her, the Princess turned said woman away to the cold, apologizing as she closed the door. “Your heart has been shattered. You choose to live in isolation away from those you care about. Surely, this will help you find the one you seek.”

In a matter of moments the Princess crumbled forward, her body growing bigger and stronger. Her own workers also felt this change shifting into many different things to reflect the cruel joke the Enchantress placed upon the crew.

Thus was how the Devil and her mysterious castle came to be.

A sigh escaped the reader's lips, the Latina with the most beautiful shade of jade to her eye closed her book. “Thanks for reading to us, Miss Vagatha!” A child cooed smiling.

“Of course, now run along, I only said one story before your chores.” Vaggie smiled as the children giggled and scattered. She leaned back and sighed, wondering what books she could find or what her adopted mother Carmilla Carmine was making this time.

She got up dusting her beautiful white sundress off and hosting the brown leather bag over her shoulder. Vagatha or as most would call her Vaggie was the talk of the town, her elegant yet calm demeanor, her skills as a folk dancer, and the fact that she was the daughter of the King's best arms dealer Carmilla Carmine.

The people of Little Pride watched the woman walk through the streets.“Bonjour!” several greeted her smiling. Others watched her with skeptical looks.

“She's an oddball that one, she's beauty and grace despite the eyepatch that's on her face.” A woman spoke to her friend as they gossiped.

“Her face was either lost in dancing or pressed in a book.” The other replied as Vaggie paid no mind to them.

“She hardly ever has to look!” One child cooed seeing Vaggie effortlessly dodging the many carts.

Her stroll through the town was a simple one, she smiled softly entering one of her favorite stores, Angel's Archive, a bookstore run by the cutest south indian bookworm Emily and her mother Sera. “Hello Vaggie, are you here for the latest copy of Arms and Armor?” The bubbly browned haired girl asked, smiling.

“You know it.” The other girl replied, being handed the book.

“Thanks again for the continued patronage!” Emily grinned as Vaggie paid for the book. “My pleasure, see you, Em.”

---

Vaggie casually wandered through the town on her way home, she always loved the rustic architecture, and the knights that would rarely pass by in order to restock their gear. “Well well, hello there Vagasaurus.” A scratchy male voice smirked, his tall muscular chubby body towering over her as Vaggie had sat down on the local fountain to read her book.

Her eye narrowed. “Haven't I told you not to call me that Adam?” She growled. “Need me to kick your ass again?”

“Ooo I love a woman who can kick ass. You're just making me the dickmaster hard babe.” Adam grinned, making Vaggie get up.

“¿por qué tengo que lidiar con este idiota…” (Why do I have to deal with this dick head) “Seriously Adam, fuck off.” The Latina stated walking away.

“Ooo I love it when your accent comes out, so exotic.” He purred. “Bet you're also still salty you got canned from the Exorcist Platoon for losing your eye.” He smirked, poking an old wound.

“And you're bringing this up, why?” Vaggie growled, her head starting to ache.

“Cause even if you play civilian, that doesn't mean I'll not recognize one of my top girls when you're out of uniform Vagasaurus.” Adam laughed, twirling on his finger, her old badge. “Though ya might wanna trim that mop of yours.” He smirked, motioning to the knee-length hair.

Vaggie's eye twitched as she couldn't hold back her temper anymore. “Apenada Carmilla…” (Sorry) She muttered under her breath and decked Adam in his stupid face. The taller man stumbled back but he smirked.

“There's the killer I know and love.” He purred satisfied. Vaggie soon hurried home, her heart racing from adrenaline.

Home however was on the outskirts of the town, it was a large grey stone building with smoke coming out of its chimney. Vaggie quietly ducked inside not noticing the fact Adam and his band had followed. Carmilla was often crafting new weapons with the help of her daughters, Vaggie was grateful to the arms dealer who had taken her in when she was abandoned on the outskirts after a nasty skirmish.

That day made the ex soldier shudder, it was a raid Adam led on a small outpost, but said outpost was actually a town filled with aboriginal people living their humble lives. “You'll surrender everything to us or your lives are forfeit!” The blood thirsty ex coworker Lute had roared.

The people didn't surrender, it was a bloodbath, Vaggie went into one of the homes and found two children and their mother shaking. Seeing their scared eyes still haunted Vaggie. “Get out of here, go now!” She had spoken, sending the trio away.

This didn't sit well with Adam who had seen it. While the others were distracted, he had ordered Lute to punish the traitor.

Vaggie broke out of her trance upon hearing the doors. “Not you again!” She growled seeing Adam.

“What? I won't take no for an answer, you'll be mine and it'll be great. I am thee dickmaster.” Adam smirked casually sitting down and mansplaning like he owned the place.

Vaggie sighed. No matter how many times she said no, this douche kept pressing despite the fact she wasn't really into men at all or anyone right now for that matter. She smirked evilly when Adam started munching loudly on chips. “Oh Adam, could you scoot to your right please?” She batted her eyelashes.

The idiot grinned, finally getting his way moving to the right so she could sit with him. “That's more like it..” He licked his lips. Vaggie casually did her alluring dance heading over to a lever. “Wait what?!”

“You really are stupid, wow. Anyway get the fuck outta my house!” She pulled it and sent Adam tumbling out through a trapdoor.

“Fucking bitch!!!!!” He roared splashing into the lake nearby. He growled, poking his head out of the water as Lute shook her head. “Not a word Lute..” He snarled and left with her.

Carmilla clapped, surprising Vaggie who blinked. “Never liked that man. Well done.” She smiled with her own two toned brown hair up as demon horns. “Now come along, I need your help in inspecting some weaponry.” Her voice was warm and motherly.

Carmilla was in her casual black tunic and slacks, she even sported some white gloves, a white and red pouch on her side, and some beautiful white boots.

Vaggie smiled and followed her, relieved that some of her soldier days could be useful.

“I was asked to head over to Zestial's domain for some tea and a business proposal.” Carmilla spoke after sorting through several weapons. “I'll be gone for a few days as the trip there is long.” She added and looked at Vaggie.

“Alright, but isn't Zestial’s territory beyond the Hellfire woods?”

“It is, but I've traveled it many times, and I can take care of myself.” Carmilla replied casually tapping her feet. Vaggie always found it so cool that her mentor had blades in her shoes since it made the fools drop their guard. “Now make sure the latest shipment is ready for transport, I'm sure Odette and Clara will be back soon with their wagons.”

Vaggie saluted and nodded. It made Carmilla chuckle a bit, but she then smiled warmly. “Umm?” Vaggie blinked confused.

“Here, I heard you lost yours during the skirmish, ex soldier.” The taller woman handed Vaggie a beautiful looking spear.

It was no secret to the Carmine family that Vaggie used to be a soldier. Carmilla being the first to notice. The spear looked similar to Vaggie's old one but instead of one side with a curved blade, it was wider, sharper, and hooked on both sides. “R-really? Is it for me Ms. Carmine?” She asked as she was baffled.

“Of course, you've proven yourself time and time again with keeping my home safe, Vaggie.” Carmilla replied but blinked, receiving a brief hug. She laughed a bit and petted Vaggie on the head.

It was soon time for the taller woman to depart as she climbed into the driver seat. She easily took the reigns of a handsome black and white stallion named Diablo. “Good luck on your trip Ms. Carmine!” Vaggie waved as the other woman departed.

-----

Elsewhere in the local tavern Adam was sulking. He couldn't believe that bitch Vaggie managed to pull one over on him. “Sir, no need to be so hung up over that traitor. After all you're Adam, the first man to ever conquer a village of over fifty thousand people.” Lute stated annoyed by his sulking.

Adam grumbled looking briefly at his second in command. He had to admit despite the vicious nature which he loved, Lute did have the hotter look with the short black bob, pale peach skin, grey armor over her black bodysuit, plus those sexy white gloves and heels. “I just hate it when I don't get what I want.” He replied grumpily.

Lute smirked a bit and handed him his favorite instrument. “It's annoying sir to see you so down.” She started as Adam blinked. He smirked and started to jam with his favorite girl. “Who cares about that mop bucket piece of shit bitch. You're the Dick fucking master.” She hyped him up, making Adam laugh with glee.

The girls easily swooned over Adam since the man often exposed his sexy chest hair through his white and gold long robe jacket, his lavender tunic underneath alongside some casual black trousers and boots. If there was any word to describe this man it would be “bear”.

“I am the man with the best dick around, come on ladies let's get down!” He roared into song, jamming hard. Though after his fun tavern party Lute took him aside. “Huh what's up danger tits?”

“Want to get back at the cunt?” She asked evilly. Adam's reply was a huge evil smirk. “Alright then, here's what I have in mind sir.”

-----

On the open road, Carmilla's carriage made its way to the cursed forest, its soft red mist echoing that of entering hell. She found it amusing and liked the route since it kept bandits off her ass. Diablo, however, whinnied and started to fuss. “What's wrong boy, ¿Estás asustado por algo?” (Are you spooked by something?) She spoke softly, trying to soothe the stallion.

He stomped his hooves and tried to wrestle free of his carriage binds. “Ah!” Carmilla yelped, being tossed off as Diablo managed to smash the carriage into a tree. “Diablo?!” She blinked but growled stranded in the forest.

Through some exploration, the woman found something she'd never seen before, a white and gold castle with the skies reddening as she got closer. Cautiously she knocked on the large wooden doors which made the door creep open.

“Who the hell is that broad?” A voice spoke. “Someone whose lost their fuckin way dipshit.” Another answered. “Quiet you two dumbasses.” The third hushed them.

“Tch, I don't like this..” Carmilla looked around the grand red entryway, it had a red brick staircase leading upward with golden handles and railing. The floor was a more muted grey with it being decorated by a large carpet bearing the symbol of two snakes intertwining over an apple.

“Not another word outta you two got it? Seriously Angel and Cherri learn to shut the fuck up.” A voice spoke quietly.

“Look can someone please come fucking out already? I lost my horse and the town's too far away to walk back.” Carmilla growled softly. “I'm willing to pay you for letting me stay the night since I don't want to walk back with it being so dark out.”

“Oooh wow, a bitch with an attitude. I like her.” Cherri smirked watching the tall woman.

“C'mon Husk she's got no place ta go.” Angel replied as Husk groaned.

Carmilla blinked, turning her head around picking up Angel as Cherri who had been turned into a wind up monkey smirked. “Who the fuck said that?!”

“Oooh, check out the mommy dommy hands on this one Angie!” Cherri grinned as Carmilla blinked, staring at her. “Hi there.”

“What the fuck?!” The woman replied as she then looked over at the snickering Angel. He was a four armed candlestick with five flames.

“Hiya mommy.” He playfully snickered.

“Now you've done it.” Husk sighed, being a talking wind up tuxedo cat.

Carmilla just blinked at the two, clearly confused. “How the fuck are you moving?” She had dropped Angel only to pick up Husk, curious as to how a children's toy is moving on its own.

“Long story I tell ya.” Angel snickered seeing Husk being toyed with. “Hey, quit it!” The cat hissed but blinked, noticing a small bit of blood on Carmilla's head.

“Dios mio..” (Oh my god) Carmilla sighed feeling like she's lost it.

“Oy demon lady, you're bleedin’.” Angel replied, waving one of his candles. “Follow us and we'll get that looked at.”

Carmilla grumbled but followed the odd trio of objects into the next room, not noticing the looming shadow that watched her from above.

“Ugh you two are gonna piss off the princess.” Husk muttered but moved aside as a cart wheeled over to Carmila who had been led to sit down in a rather large red velvet chair. “And we don't need another one of those rage moments.”

“Care for a nice cup of tea dearie?” A warm voice came from the beautiful Victorian style red and grey tea pot.

“Oh.. Um..” Carmilla looked a little surprised when a coat rack was bandaging her head. “Alright?”

“How about some music as well my dear?” A voice came from a rather nice looking mahogany radio with black knobs and glowing green lights.

“Ugh you idiots are going to alert the Devil.” Husk groaned, but the radio chuckled.

“Oh no need to be in such a tizzy Husker, a little music doesn't hurt anybody. Right Rosie?” Two beating red eyes looked over at the tea kettle.

“Of course Alastor, music is quite a nice way to enjoy some tea dearie.”.

Carmilla picked up the cup and took a sip from it. “Nyeh, why am I against a lady's lips!” A shrill voice came from the red tea cup as two cute yellow eyes blinked at Carmilla.

“What the fuck?!” She blinked but looked over the cup.

Quacking was heard as a footstool waddled its way over lifting Carmilla's feet up. Though it was strange and felt like a drug trip, Carmilla didn't seem to mind the great hospitality.

The crew jolted hearing the door slam open off its hinges. “Here we go…” Husk gulped. Carmilla growled, getting up fast and ready to fight, however she was easily subdued by powerful black claws coming around her neck.

“Who are you, why are you here?” That voice came out low and growly. Carmilla stared at the figure before her, her eyes wide. “Doesn't matter you're not welcome here…” The beast snarled, dragging Carmilla off as the other tried to follow.

Carmilla couldn't believe her eyes, whatever had her by the neck with ease was a giant massive beast with blonde fur, a wolf like snout, cloven red hooves, deep white eyes with red sclera, two red horns sticking out of its head, and a long spiked black tail with a triangular tip. “El diablo mismo…” (The Devil itself.) escaped her lips as the beast growled at her.

“What the fuck are you saying? Are you staring at me?!” The beast snarled slamming Carmilla into a wall. “I bet you've come to stare at the Devil huh? Well you've found her.”

“Hey hey! Princess, you're going to kill her!” Angel stated, waving at her.

“I'd love to see the blood bath.” Niffty giggled watching.

“All I wanted was a place to rest for the night. Agh…” Carmilla felt that grip tighten.

The Devil narrowed her eyes and growled. “I'll give you a damn place to stay as you wish.” She dragged Carmilla to the dungeons and locked the woman inside. “Now stay there and enjoy your new home.”

“What?!” Carmilla snapped trying to get out to no avail. “Damn it…” She growled, lowering her head.

(Heyo, I hope you guys like the fic so far, I literally worked several hours on this part alone. I'm breaking this down into parts from Beginning Middle and End with the full version being on my Ao3 for all to read. Thanks for reading!)

[xxxedtxxx]

(Vaggie and Cherri playing video games together)

Cherri: I'm gonna fucking get you in this next match, I swear!

Vaggie: The only thing your getting is THIS DICK!

Charlie: But the only one we have still needs to be washed-

Vaggie: I know babe, just trying to keep up a tough girl persona here

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

My brain would not shut the fuck up for 2 seconds, so to satisfy it, have a compilation of out of context questions and shitty takes:

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

20. Be gay, do crime, eat boys up, idk, peace ✌️

—a very sleep deprived bird anon

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

"Boss will do just fine. And you can do as you please - I'm not like some, who require their souls to tirelessly work for them. I'll call on you if I have need."

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

"Uh, no."

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

"Not that I'm aware of."

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

"Um, no, I'm... not a goat."

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

"I suppose my flavor profile might bear some similarities to venison, but I imagine I do taste rather different. I don't experience rut, I can make different sounds, and no, my horns do not get stuck - I can shrink them easily. I have broken Vox's screen while fighting and when he's attempted to wake me up, but I wouldn't qualify either as a 'love tap'. And I do wish you hadn't shared that."

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

"Yeah, you're not the first person to share that. But Charlie doesn't know, and I'm keeping it that way until I get more answers. It would crush her."

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

"They're like family, and like most families, I get along with some more than others. Ozzie is definitely who I'm closest to, Bee's always fun, Levy's cool, Bel's great, Satan and I butt heads sometimes, and Mammon... can admittedly get on my nerves."

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

"I'm not telling you a whole story when you asked so fucking much. No, I haven't gotten him in a dress outside of the bet. Do you have any idea how much he hates deviating from his look? And no, my dick is not a cable, and I don't eat batteries. But yes, of course my simps are very creative. Right, Mel?"

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

"I haven't noticed that, and um... as I've mentioned before, I don't really have any memories before joining Adam's army. I used to think I was Heavenborn, but I get these flashes, and... I think I might be from Central America? I don't know. I do love tamales, I know that."

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

"They weren't even together yet. Alastor wouldn't have even known anything happened, if you idiotas hadn't gotten involved. Voxxy just would have chosen to stay with me, and their little budding romance would have fizzled out as it should have."

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

"I mean, I used to be a stage magician, so... yeah."

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

"Ooooh, Vox, I want to meet Baxter!"

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

"Everything I make is the best - how the fuck can I pick one favorite?"

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

"Haven't seen it, so I'll take your word for it."

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

"When I was alive, and uh... yeah, my family's Italian, but I'm from New York. Lived there my whole life. Neva' been to Italy."

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

"Niffty is my friend - of course I don't own her soul! And I was already a father-figure to Charlie, but I never seriously meant that she should call me dad."

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

"Uh... I don't think that's how that works..."

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

"Fuck off, my dad was awesome."

"And for the last time, I don't have 'daddy issues'. My mother did just fine on her own."

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

"I did, and New Orleans is indeed beautiful. I strongly recommend a visit! And I must admit, I don't speak fluent French. I can speak some Creole French that I picked up throughout my life. It was never something I studied, though. As for your last question, I'm afraid I don't quite know how to answer that."

Note from Mel: Please only send one or two asks at a time. This was a bit overwhelming, and it makes tagging complicated.