#v;; the little wife

[winepresswrath]

saw wicked back on my galinda/elphaba bullshit from high school i'm going to need 50 000 Galinda goes aus and an additional 50 000 Elphaba stays aus.

[twasbrillig71]

i know this is a jervis account but i just watched the long halloween movie and

he is my babygirl

and he's such a passenger princess

[thebeigelunatics]

standish's sad face after she lost david cartwright and thought river would be really disappointed in her 😭😭😭

[kirby-the-gorb]

[elemental-daddy-neos]

So he's wife material

[thechaosjunkie]

Ye ole tag dump

[impossible-rat-babies]

I’m realizing now that my da world state is just. wow tragic romance huh

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

A slightly less average day in Family Video

A girl with shoulder length blond hair and a huge stack of tapes goes to the counter. Steve, who had wrongly assumed that Robin could handle herself for ten minutes, tries to intervene. It is in vain. He is aware that it is in vain, even as he sprints towards them. Tapes clatter behind him on the floor. Unfortunately the noise is not enough to dissuade the innocent customer, who barely even pauses on her way to the ticking time bomb that is Robin Buckley.

He feels like in a movie, everything around him suddenly moving in an excrutiatingly slow pace. He is the only one who can see the incoming disaster, and yet there is nothing he can do but watch. Watch as Robin's lips twitch - not in the fun "I actually find your stupid joke hilarious but I refuse to laugh because it is so stupid and beneath me" way, but the decidedly more concerning "I am uncomfortable and overwhelmed someone get me out of this situation please". Watch as her nostrils start to flare in that particular way that means she is trying really hard not to burst into tears.

Oh dear.

Needless to say, the blonde does not take any of the tapes home with her. Steve watches in envy as she exits the shop. Ah, to be a free spirit, able to escape his soulmate's laments with no guilt or remorse or consequences. But alas, he has been cursed with a bleeding heart, a guilt complex the size of Indiana and a useless lesbian. And so, instead of doing the reasonable thing and escaping this hellscape, he goes towards the explosive variable. Dingus indeed.

"Hey, how about we take a break, huh?" Steve tries to recalls the rules about approaching wild animals - Dustin had a phase when he first got Dart. No loud noises. No sudden movements. Slow and steady. Take everything at the anima- at Robin's pace. (He'll have to tell her that one when she is less upset. She was literally named after a bird, so drunk on exhaustion Robin will find it absolutely and disproportinately hilarious)

He physically recoils when he catches a glimpse of Blondie's would-be haul. Dirty Dancing. The Princess Bride. Purple Rose of Cairo. Of all the days for a romcom movie night. At least Steve can rest assured that he isn't God's only favorite chewtoy. Isn't that what it means to be soulmates, after all? Doomed by forces beyond your comprehension together?

Steve looks at the evergrowing stack left behind on the counter (only one person managed to actually rent out the movies, and that was when Steve had sent Robin to her third break in two hours), the three movies still laying on the floor (please no one step on them please no one step on them by the love of god please nobody step on them) and prays nobody checks the security footage today as he leads Robin to what must be her sixth break. The shift is barely halfway over.

Now, Steve is neither a lesbian (he looks at boys a tad too long to only be interested in girls) nor a high school student (class '85 baby!). However, he is the unfortunate resident of a nosy and boring small town (seriously, fuck Hawkins), very aware of how draining it is to have to keep a big secret in said nosy and boring small town (if you think about it, are a person's sexuality and flesh-devouring monsters from a different dimension truly that different?), and has also morphed into one eldritch agglomeration with his bestest most favorite person of all times (Mike's words. Apparently the way he and Robin can read each other's minds is "freaky" or something), so he is very aware and sympathetic of their struggles and beliefs.

Such as this: the list of people you can cry on when your not-quite-girlfriend-but-definitely-something-more-than-friends-you-are-maybe-kind-of-in-love-with suddenly breaks it off is remarkably shorter than if said person was a boy. In Robin's case, the list is exactly one person long. Well, technically two, but it would be very awkward and painful to sob on the person who is the reason for your tears.

"It's s-s-so. So ssssstupid. I mean we were-weren't even a-an-any-anything. I don't know why I'm so u-up-up-p-p-pset"

Steve nods and rubs her back. He hopes his expression is as sympathetic and righteously mad on her behalf as the first time he heard the story.

"We used to kiss und-d-d-der the bleachers. The same b-b-b-bleachers we face whenevvvvvvver we p-p-p-practic-ssss-e in band. How am I sup-p-p-p-pposed to look at those stupid fucking b-b-b-leachers without thinking about her lips and her leeeegs and-"

"Such stupid bleachers", Steve dutifully agrees. He wonders whether one of the kids can maybe hack into the CCTV to delete the footage? Surely they can't be fired without any hard evidence, right? The last thing Robin needs right now is the inevitable stress that comes with job hunting.

"Howwww- how do you d-d-deal with it?!"

It takes a moment of Robin staring at him expectantly before he realizes that she went off-script and he is expected to actually answer her question. You know, like a proper sympathetic best friend and soulmate is supposed to act.

"How do I deal with what?"

"With the b-b-b-break-k-k-kkkk-kups? Me and her weeeeeeren't even-"

"Your emotions are valid" Steve shamelessly steals Robin's go-to saying whenever he is unreasonably upset about something stupid. She hits him, which is fair. Maybe he was being a little bit mocking about it. Sue him.

"It's like-", he pauses, searching for a more tactful way to say it. But then again, he has never been great at expressing himself and Robin always gets him anyways, so he just goes for it. "I mean. It's not like anyone is really upset after a breakup you know."

Robin blinks. Once. Twice.

"Wwww-wh-what?"

"I mean. You explained it to me. Sexism and all that shit. If a girl isn't upset and stuff she's called a slut. Boys don't have that, and they seem to always be fine. I mean, Tommy P. was making out with Alicia literally the same day he got dumped by Sarah. It's all just about peacocking and status and all that stupid stuff."

Maybe he was overestimating Robin's telepathic abilities, because she looks even more confused. "Sssso you just got together with all those girls because. What. It-t-tt was expect-ted of youuu?!"

Maybe Steve's own telepathic abilities are also failing him because like. Obviously?! What's the hang-up?

"So you decided yourrrrr girrrrrrrrrrlfriends based on what-t? Whether they were cheeeeeeer-cheerleaders?!"

"I mean. That's what everyone did, isn't it? Expectarions and all that crap." Steve starts wondering if maybe Robin has something stuck in her eye. "Like, of course I wouldn't start anything with someone if I didn't like them as a person. But the girls were cute, and making out is fun, and I like hanging out with them so like, why not. If it got boring after a while I just broke it off, no harm no foul."

"SSSSO YOU SST-sss-STAYED TOGETHER WITH HER UNTIL YOU FOUND A SHINIER NEW T-T-T-TOYYY?!"

"Hey, you don't need to say it like that. It's not like I was doing anything different from everyone else. Society is fucked, or whatever it is you always say."

A pause. "Steve.... if it sounds heartless....it's b-b-b-because it issss. I hate to say it but.... I don't thiiiiiink all of your girlfriends saw it the sa-sa-sa-same way you did. I mean, did you look at T-t-t-tammy? She looked devastated for wwwweeks. I remember I was so mad at you for that. You didn't even seem to not-t-t-t-t-no-notice."

Silence. It's Steve's turn to blink. Once. Twice. He starts to wonder if the thing Robin had stuck in her eye was knowledge. Or maybe tears. Regret?

"But. The slut thing-" "Steve. How did you feel about Nancy? Was it the same thing?" "No! It- I don't know. It was. She was- ...Oh."

In the quiet that follows, Steve swears he can hear his own heart crack in two.

"I mean, we weren't even together-together most of the time. Or some of the time, at least. Like-" (Robin, cheeks red from all the crying. "I mean, we weren't even anything". And maybe Steve didn't quite understand the reason for these tears, but he understood pain and he understood Robin so he held her close anyways)

"Wait Steve, no. I-I'm so- sorr-rrr-sorr-y"

And fuck. Isn't he an absolutely selfish and horrible person? Here he comes, finding out he hurt perfectly lovely girls, figuring out that the "heartbreaker" moniker is less a joke and more a warning, and then he has the audacity to feel hurt. He. Shame burbles up in his gut, multiplying until it comes leeking out of his eyes.

It's shameful and horrible. It is even more shameful and horrible because Robin is currently going through what they had probably felt, too. Tammy who loved singing to the radio. Layla who loved making friendship bracelets. Natasha who also had a love for basketball. He imagines them locked up in their rooms, trying to hold onto him even as they know it is fruitless, feeling like after that stupid halloween party - because of him. He wants to hurl.

And Robin, always overthinking, always overeager - Robin who is trying to nurse her own broken heart and doesn't understand what he is feeling but she understands pain and most importantly she understands him. Robin gives him a kiss on the forehead and holds him close.

"I shhhhhhouldn't have been so-so-so-ssssso harsh. I was frusssss-trated and I let it out on you I'm sorry."

Steve smiles sardonically. "My feelings are valid?" She flicks him on the forehead and laughs.

-> the gay crisis that wasn't

-> stobin partner tattoos (aka tramp stamp)

-> fighting the war on heteronormativity on the side of headache (ft. Tim Curry)

-> Hawkins has cryptids and they are movie snobs

[the-kipsabian]

[violetsgayhouse]

"Patience is a virtue, it's something both of us must learn." what wifey fails to consider is that me. want. more. MOVIE

[gingersnaptaff]

treat!

'"No. We leave tonight,” Rhiannon’s tone was ice. “We must evade the guards.”

“Yes, Mother," Pryderi huffed. "So you keep saying but I see no evidence of them.”

“Pryderi,” It was Cigfa who spoke and her voice was scratchy with sleep. “Just because you have not seen them does not mean that they will not have been sent out.”

Rhiannon hummed, “Ogrfan will spin the net about us slowly at first. We will not even see it coming until he finally wrenches it and traps us.”

“Ach, surely not! If he’d any sense he would've enacted such a thing now instead of waiting.”

“Your mother is right,” Cigfa whispered, pursing her lips. “The things that we witnessed in his caer would make your blood run cold. We must gather up what we can and go. We are wasting time squabbling like washerwomen.”

“There’s barely even anything to take!”

“Good!” Cigfa’s disdain was apparently even from my place on Manawydan’s lap. “Then it will attract less attention when I grab you about your beard and throw you into the river for being brainless. Truly you are your father’s son! Must I explain everything to you?”

“I am only stupid when it suits me." Pryderi insisted. "If it is your will that we go now, then we will. This has been such a roundabout conversation that I feel that I am far more blockheaded than when we started.”

“That remains to be seen but I am sure that it will become certain, of that I have no doubt.” Grass crunched beneath Cigfa’s boots, and I knew that she was getting up off the ground.

Pryderi and Rhiannon followed suit, both sighing in relief at the clicking on their bones as they rose too as Manawydan murmured in my ear that he would carry me for the journey.

“Don’t get too tired,” I slurred. “’M heavy. Father used to tell me that.”

“Yes, Gwyn bach, I’m sure that you are, but I am not your father. You can rest again if you wish. I will wake you when we arrive.” His blue eyes crinkled as he smiled.'

[hollenka99]

Artur V now has his great great grandfather as a rival for the title of 'emperor with the most unhinged family dynamic'.

[ccaptain]

@aguilareye: “I’m going to carry you, now, ok?” ( meme prompt. )

   From the sleepy mass in his lap that is Kaeya comes a really sad, heartbreaking whine.

   Given that poor Boothill has been trying to get up after not one, not two, but three rounds of morning cuddles and kisses, we can safely conclude that the Enigma is just being a bit bratty, this morning. Being picked up means that he'll be carried to to do their morning routine, the one he's so fond of that they developed once the cyborg settled down in Kaeya's Room. Their Room, now.

   But today he's so sleepy and comfy, the bed is so warm while Boothill is just that good bit of warmed-up-by-the-sheets side of tiepid that's still wonderfully chilly. In fact, mischievous Enigma was perfectly fine pratically plastered atop of him, cuddled in the scent of leather and faint gunpowder ( which quickly became his favorite one, would you look at that, ) when he was swept up by the other's sudden movement with a little squeep! of surprise. 

   Now poor Kaeya is in his lap, bare, long legs curled around his middle for support and arms secured around his neck in case the warning didn't came- his eyes are still firmly closed, a little dog-like whine pitching in for how much he thinks about starting the day. A wonderful concept, was one not so sleepy.

   ' I'm so nice and comfy and you pick me up from the bed, ' he protests, grumbling into warm skin of Boothill's neck, not so mean-spirited. Off his mouth, unfiltered, slips out ' worst husband ever. Ten bar zero. He bullies me because I'm cute as a button and tells me we're getting up, sugar but I don't wannaaaaaaaa. '

   A long moment of silence. Then, proounced solemnly and with an ominous voice-

   ' Revenge. '

   And he proceeds to raspberry the tender skin of Boothill's neck without an ounce of mercy.

   The Hunt loses a valiant Pathstrider, today.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[005mins]

/ those of u guys who write s.ervants or have f.ate s.ervant verses, would u let d.aybit be ur muses' m.aster-

[kresnikcest]

My impression of Julius @ Victor remains “you are baby brother forever”