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aerospectrum · 5 months ago

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starter for @homelander-rp-blog

Blue eyes snap open; they’re sticky and tinted red, almost shifting towards a sickly pale green color as the hallucinogen moves through this system, blinding lights of the lab shine down on him. “I’m scared…” his voice trembles and tears slide down the sides of his face. “Please I don’t wanna do it again please!” He begs screaming.

The seal of the chamber bursts cool air against his skin when it opens and the doctor enters with disappointment.

“Castiel, look at me.” He barks. “Look at me, right now.” Castiel reacts in a way he never has. He latches sharp teeth around his wrist. He bites harder and harder until another scientist rushes in and body slams him to the floor. Cas turns his rage on him, clamping down on the inside of his bicep and rips the man’s arm open, bursting the arteries and veins showering him in a spray of red.

Castiel’s chest heaves up and down furiously. A scientist presses an alarm that bathes the room in flashing lights. Castiel grows more agitated- feral, the louder the alarms blare. Tyson gets up cradling his bleeding arm and Castiel lunges, sinking his teeth into Tyson’s neck and tears it open; blood gushes like a geyser— a waterfall and he spits chunks of flesh out and stands with his hands clenched in fists at his sides. His screams overpower the alarms and the power goes haywire. Machines fizzle and smoke, the lights shatter and crack apart; he blows every fuse plunging the lab into darkness while the emergency generators fail to load the systems back online. Naomi knocks him in the back of his head rendering him unconscious before a bigger bloodbath can be had. When he wakes up he’s spotless, tidied up, fresh clean clothing in the enochian warding room, but there’s still blood on his lips. A purposeful reminder of his “bad-ness”. His shirt has a bumblebee embroidered on the pocket and Naomi watches him from behind the reinforced glass with a sharp smile. He stands at the window, but Naomi doesn't flinch, she turns to a woman named Barbara and smiles at her with a curt nod looking down at the young blonde boy she has with her “John, why don’t you go into the room and meet your new friend.” She presses the lock seal and the door clicks open for John.

#homelanderrpblog #c; homelander (why am i not good enough for you)#c; castiel ( the abandoned son)#v; god what have you done #/i hope this starter is ok for you!#tw blood #cw blood

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moeblob · 9 months ago

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There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.

She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"

Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.

#my characters #also i just think it would be so funny to have him walk into the bar when karen and the boys are all there #and she sees him and is like OH MY GOD ITS MY GUY AND HE HAS A WOMAN WITH HIM I have to go congratulate him #and she jumps out of the booth to go say hi to him and the rest of her group is staring with wide eyes because whomst #and then her shoulders drop and the guy looks nervous and then karen is just gesturing to her group #and she walks him over and is like hey this is my guy and his cousin i hate my life #and then introduces rick to her friends/coworkers in the worst way ever like.... so lackluster #thats right and hes gay and pining and possibly dating #thats brent and hes pining and possibly dating #thats chris and he might have a divorce on his track record (HEY!) but we still love him #and thats paul the disaster bisexual currently pining #she sighs then points to the bar and goes AND I GUESS ILL INCLUDE the pining hot bartender in the introductions #everyone meet rick and his cousin and rick is like oh ! paul! hes your best friend!#cause he KNOWS that name from their ONE DATE that they both pretend didn't happen #and paul is just sunshine and flowers and beaming like oh ?? OH ??? KAREN? BESTIE? MY BEST FRIEND?#and she blushes and glares at rick because DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT CAN HANDLE COMPLIMENTS YOU JERK look what you did to him #and rick is v sorry and feels bad about it cause hes really just some random polite guy and thats why it would never work #hes too nice for karen and she CRAVES the teasing THE BANTER THE LANGUAGE and no hes just nice bye #so he leaves with his cousin to get some drinks and walks back over after hes done #and stares at paul as he says wow the bartender really is pining like you said in response to karen and paul wants to melt into his seat #therefore karen will forgive her guy for telling paul he was her best friend (its true tho) bc he made paul embarrassed #and he smiles at her and says bye and she just nods and is like yup talk to you next time we match #and its never romantic its always platonic #they are always going to match but its NEVER going to go beyond friends #though they do become friends and hang out eventually!#yes you can tell i thought about this A LOT on the drive #oops i fell in love

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garciapimienta · 2 months ago

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fuck someone just reminded me that this was finally mats' time with germany too............................

#what has he done to you @god #what have I done to you #he doesnt deserve this HE WAITED FOR AGES #mats #marc andre ter stegen #fcb #vil v bar #barça #fc barcelona

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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years ago

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Why is B’Elanna Torres the cutest girl in the world?

#she's adorable....IMMEDIATELY she's like 'THIS ROBOT'S GONNA DIE IF I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!' and everyone around her's like B'Elanna....whocares #Hehehehhe nooo they're being sweeter than that #Harry-B'Elanna and Neelix-B'Elanna moments at the start were V sweet <3 #Harry being annoyed and tired but still willing to stay there and work with her if she wanted him to #Also Harry/B'Elanna should have been a thing. Harry says in season 2 what Tom didn't know until B'Elanna was LITERALLY breaking up with him #when she got so excited she just ran out of the medbay while still theorizing <3<3 #when she smiledsobig and shyly at being complimented by the robot <3<3 #Also LOVE Chakotay saying 'Tom!!!! Don't go alone it'll be dangerous.....for the shuttle :)'#I fucking love how everyone on Voyager's trying desperately to save B'Elanna and the robots are threatening to kill her and the crew #but B'Elanna and this robot are kinda just chilling and being cute friends together...god I hope they don't die #'I believe you can do it B'Elanna Torres.' / 'Hey! Don't send me flowers just yet >)'#'we did it!!! We actually DID IT~!!!!!' / 'YOU did it B'Elanna Torres.'#This robot is B'Elanna's biggest hypeman get him on the ship #OOOOHHHH I LOVE THAT LAST SECOND PLOT TWIST~!!!!!!#YEEEAAAH B'ELANNA MAD SCIENTIST EPISODE~!!!!!#'My GOD what have I done????' <- sexiest thing a woman can say v_v #I love no harm no foul episodes where it's just like 'hmmm WELL!'#episodes where something weird happens and will probably just keep on happening somewhere in space #B'Elanna Torres

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infinitelystrangemachinex · 7 months ago

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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!

yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS

#ask me #so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support #BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that #I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times #-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country #and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity #what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech #and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor #what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet #there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1 #and that she can't ignore the undercity forever #also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently #the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change #so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her #and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream #however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves #but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down #I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol #like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her #I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win #which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet #also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter #but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK #also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too #I am super normal about her can you tell

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deeisace · 8 months ago

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..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

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chiropteracupola · 1 year ago

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If it strikes your fancy, for kiss prompts-A king and a herald, 19? (I'm not in any of your other fandoms lmao)

19. a kiss for luck

#em draws stuff #h5 #henry v 1989 #le roy d'armes des françois (dit montjoye)#mille fleur tapestries were not a really a big thing until much later in the fifteenth century but What Ever #thank you for this request it took me FIVE DRAFTS but it was fun for literally all of the time #this version is heavily based on 'god speed!' by edmund blair leighton (a painting I am sure we all know on tumblr dot com)#the composition of which I have squished together for 1) more touching and 2) not having to draw the horse #imagine the horse. a horse is implied but you're not going to get to see it.#...a significant amount of this was put together while staying up until 2am watching fall out boy amvs. yes it's 2023.#I have done a significant bit of Goofin' It on this one but also I have not drawn these fellows in a while. need to get back into practice.#also would you believe it I was looking back on my (wretched and blurry) screencap collection and montjoy's gloves are blue?? neat!!

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merlinmerlot · 9 months ago

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I could play one of the most beautiful well crafted video games on the planet and it will never be as appealing to me as one that kind of sucks shit but has soooo much potential

#merlin.txt #just finished cyberpunk #i feel like they could have done sooo much more with the concepts they had #the game showed us a bit of everything in the world but i dont think they explored any one topic enough #and they pulled a ton of punches. the ending did not feel like this big 'grab your allies and fuck the corpos' thing it shouldve been #it was mostly just tying up johnnys loose end. one big loop. which i fuck with; but it wasnt rlly anticapitalist at all in that sense #i have a bunch of other thoughts on johnny but ill save it #but god. the beginning (act 1 and the first bits of act 2) where just soooo fucking good #and it rlly felt like it was going to gear up into this huge thing instead of just being one last hurrah for rogue and johnny #AUUUGHH theres just So Much Potential. goddamn #imo i think the major thing is that at some point it stopped being v's story. it was everyone elses #he has Very little agency. which is interesting but man this guy deserves better #when it comes down to it the game Is really shallow. whenever there is any sincerity in themes its very centrist #the fact is you dont rlly meet many characters in game who are Truly working to take down corps except for johnny and he doesnt rlly count #and if there Are its usually played for irony and laughs (looking at kerry) or theyre flat out kind of awful.#judys story is probably the best of the companions bc shes actively trying to help sex workers and its played very positively #i also think two of the main themes (letting go of the past; what it means to die) are Majorly helped by some incredible emotional beats #and w/o some just Really Really good scenes and good repetition of lines and motifs its very tropey.#ok i wasnt going to write a full thing. but let me be clear: i fucking loved this game. i would not be writing so much if i did not love it #the sun ending was Still soooo vindicating. v is still kicking and that's all that matters to me #(it helps that v is a Great protag like one of the Best voiced rpg protags next to hawke da2)#(which is kind of a funny comparison since i think both protags suffer from a lack of agency)#ok im done now

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hella1975 · 9 months ago

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just watched liverleaf! i will never be the same

#OH MY FUCKING GOD????#whenever tiktok gets a hold of a film i always assume the worst but the liverleaf trend was sooo sick #and i was so curious about what the fuck and hell was going on with the camera/crossbow #so i decided to give it a go bc despite the trend giving it more attention now it's still a pretty unknown film #and it had a v low budget (what i would GIVEEE for it to have had a bigger budget omd)#AND IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. LIKE ACTUALLY #THE PLOT? JAW DROPPING. THE CHARACTERS? INSANE. THE ACTING? PHENOMENAL. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY? BEST OF ANYTHING IVE SEEN LATELY #LIKE ALL OF THE SCENES WERE SO BEAUTIFULLY DONE THE FAMOUS CAMERA ONE FR IS JUST ONE OF DOZENS AMAZINGLY SHOT #THE BLOOD IN THE SNOW THEME THROUGHOUT. YOU AGREE #THE CHASE SCENE THAT INSPIRED JJK (at leats ive been told it did. if not then liverleaf needs to sue mappa bc they did it first)#i will say the gore/violence scenes were such victims of the low budget like they were downright laughable at times #BUT I SAW THE VISION! and the rest of the film more than made up for it #god i want to EAT this film. it has CANON TOXIC YURU #liverleaf summary by hella1975: average teen homoerotic friendship breakup #liverleaf #film rec

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airbenderedacted · 2 years ago

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What was the beta s2 villain design? I haven’t heard or seen abt that one n im curious

,,,,Bombshell my bbygirl,.

#she is So fucking cute & as a standalone design i love her but #for WOYS2's main villain.. for WOY's MAIN CAST........ bro absolutely not this is literally just 'hrjfdf woman hot' villan and nothing else #swapping this out for manic hot topic gremlin bastard lesbian was where they struck gold like. ty god hrjbhsdjgfbng #not that the way they used dominator was /perfect/ by any means #bc believe you me there's a few things in the show that were ehghhghhh at best & stuff from the crew that pisst me AWFF at worst but #overall dom was really solid. the purpose her character served and the writing & character building choices for her were all *chef's kiss*#there was a lot about her whole vibe that was communicated REALLY WELL through her design alone imo #(and a lot about her personality and motivations that you could gleam from JUST her first out-of-suit appearance on its own #i just really wish they'd given WAY fewer fucks about her being pewtty or conventionally attractive or Whatever bRO IT'S HOLDING YOU BACK!!#i dont think Any of that stuff was prioritized when brainstorming for bombshell here 😭 maybe they hadn't fleshed out those ideas yet #bc with Bombshell? the only things her design communicate are that she's hot & apparently that's Important + she has a bug theme going on #& i GUESS that she's ostentatious & goes for v loud clothing. those pauldrons command a room #so you can get ''commandeering'' and MAYBE even ''powerful'' from that #but for a MAIN VILLAIN meant to majorly challenge the main cast & shake up the show‚ THat is extremely milquetoast!!!!!!#again there's rlly nothing here to take away from her design overall other than that she's sexy. why define her that way for being a her #it's such a big ''nah man''#it's tired it's been done to death #the read you get on her from Overall Vibes alone are very bland!!!#i have to wonder at what point they really started to get the ball rolling in the right direction w/ their S2 big bad to end up w dominator #wondering if maybe it was when they figured they should make her a punk to contrast wander being a hippie?#do you think maybe they just got input from women #grateful every day for the absolute bastard supreme we ended up with #finalhaunts

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lilworms · 3 days ago

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I need to complain

#so my current job is with 3 people that I know from previous jobs #our staff is 6 people #I love my mg as a person but she is so. oh my god.#the company is pretty removed from the stores (within reason) but p much as long as our numbers look good they don’t hover. our dm comes #v rarely and only checks in w mg once a wk-ish. so my mg takes full advantage of this. we r a relatively slow store dgmw but she straight up #ignores shit that needs. to be done? like shipment will just sit there for DAYS and she will do the bare minimum and sit on her phone allday #and go in the back for 15 mins for no reason and then come out on the floor and steal sales and then leave work early and do nothing to help #anyone else make their numbers and then she always has to brag abt things in our district group chat that she like #barely fucking contributes to and like literally EVERYTHING in the store gets done by my AM and I. I am not any type of mg in this store and #I accepted this job fully ok w that. I wanted a break from management. and yet I am constantly stepping up to do shit bc our mg doesn’t #and it’s basic operational shit that we’ve LITERALLY DONE. AT OUR LAST JOB. WE ALL DID THE SAME. FUCKING THINGS AT OUR LAST JOB #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT JNOW HOW TO DO A FUCKING CHANGE ORDER. HOW DO WE NEVER HAVE CHANGE AND IM ALWAYS THE ONE TAKING CASH TO THE BANK #WHYYYYYYYY AM I PLANNING BLACK FRIDAY AND DOING EVERYTHING W MY AM TO PREPARE WHILE SHE LITERALLY GOES “’there isn’t that much to do?’ldhdga #WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. THERES LIKE 20 BOXES OF UNTOUCHED SHIPMENT FOR NO FUCKING REASON EVERYTBI GS A MESS WE NEED TO DO SK MUCH #HOW ARE YOU SITTING THERE. WATCHING REELS!!!!!!! AND THEN STOPPING US WHILE WE’RE GETTING THINGS DONE TO SHOW US MEMES #IM GOING TO HnbHsndvdhwjf #my poor am is in the final weeks of her semester trying to do hw and shit on top of cleaning up the mess our mg leaves and hovering over her #to make sure things get done and it’s just like #You should not Have To Be DOING THAT #I’m just so blown. like she lies so much and just does whatever the fuck she wants w no consideration and then we have to reality check her #and she’s like oh you’re right I’m sorry #and then it changes for a fucking day and goes right back. I’m just.#And then she has the audacity to say ‘ I stepped back to see if you(am) would step up to do things’#LMFAO GIRLLKJKLLGBFBS FUCK YOU THATS SUCH A KINE OF BULLSHIT YOURE SO LAZY PLS FIND A HUSBAND AND BE A HOUSEWIFE FASTER #STOP TERRORIZING WORKPLACES PLSSSSSS PLS PS Sslslsldbxvsj #fr talking to her is talking to the wall.#like I would prefer to just look at the floor and say things than say it to her bc she does not listen #but like sitting w her and bullshitting when downtime she’s chill and funny like I love her. just she sucks at working.

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perenlop · 1 year ago

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man. hate to say it but i finished karma files and idk how i feel about it

#its very impressively done like the gameplay is great and i like most of the new lore #but… god i kinda… dont like the whole thing with the renegade route having already happened before no matter what you do #like whether you already had a file or not #because now characters learn and we hear all these people talk about what a fucking asshole we are #and like… thatd be welcome if i DID do a renegade route. ik im planning one rn #but it just feels strange and confusing with not only one more alternate timeline but the world hates you #cause apparently ‘’we’ve betrayed them before’’ when like. i havent done shit yet my guy!#idk it just feels weirdly guilt trippy for the route where you do as many things possible to help people #idk like. maybe if it was a different interceptor entirely thatd be interesting? like if crescent somehow led to the bad timeline #and bc of that experience the world is starting to crumble and rely on you #and you can either save or destroy them #as of now im just. ??????? at all of it and not in a good way #again no hate to the team or anything like again this had to be a shit ton of work and thats impressivr. the story just rubs me the wrong wa #way #echoed voice #rejuv lb #the ana sidequest also felt nice but V getting misgendered constantly kinda took the fun out of it for me

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months ago

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I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above

#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day #sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier)#but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing #i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing #the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d #like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing #now… now i can’t even think of her. again #it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN #what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up.#that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life #the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades #i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke #and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know #i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel #i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint #cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies #off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat #and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere #and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on #i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now #so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing #i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable #like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need #mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol #personal

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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago

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🦋

#LMAO I FUCKING CANT.#so missionaries came to my doorstep-- which is literally just hilarious. even more hilarious? one of them was from hawaii.#they ask about my religion&i tell them bc i dont see any point not to&the yt man speaking to me tells me #he was a surfer back in the day so--&this is a literal quote-- 'i went to hawaii&heard it all as a haole on the beach'#remember this is literally entirely unprompted from a missionary who knocked on my door in response to my answering a question #about my religion. so why did this come up? probably the same reason that he then went to on to ask me what would happen if HE wanted #to join my religion&when i answer 'you would probably have to handle that yourself as religion is entirely personal'#he literally stands there w no answer before going 'well our church accepts EVERYONE no matter what theyve done'#&--again this is a direct quote-- 'we have ppl who have done blood sacrifices to their ancestors who have found the REAL god' LMAO.#he then started talking about how the neighboring apartment complex has a primarily east european community?#like with actual statistics bc appartently he just knows that the next apartment complex over is 80% yt immigrants?#not entirely sure how they had anything at all to do w anything so thats around when i stopped laughing openly at him #&told him my neighbors were coming up the stairs&i found taking up the entire staircase to be incredibly rude #so they needed to get the fuck out lmao&the missionary from hawaii-- who had said almost nothing the whole time lmao--#wouldnt look me in the eye while telling me thank you for my time probably bc he now had to continue doing missionary work #w a man who spent a solid five minutes trying to prove im racist&exclusionay as a default #literally ONLY bc im hawaiian v traditional about it&proud as FUCK about all those facts #whiiiiich only made him look&sound. fucking TERRIBE lmao.#anyway its good to know that several hundreds of years later&a move away from my colonized home where yt missionaries destroyed my culture #i STILL cant fucking get away from yt missionaries&their ABHORRENT behaviour lmao.#i need to start checking who the fuck is at my door before opening it.#or at the v least start letting roxy just fucking tear ppl like this to shreds like she wants bc their vibes are so rank #my dog can't stand at my side w/o her ridge going so far up she doesnt NEED to growl to get the point across lmao.

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labradorite-princess · 1 month ago

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Why am I getting sadder than normal rn!?!?!?!? It is the middle of the day! This should only be happening when it gets dark outside/night.

#v true #this is so fucking unfair #why do i have to be sad all the time #what have i done #god what have i done to you?#why did you make me this way #questions that float around my head all the time #shut up nicki

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