#used to be I couldnt look at pictures of them without freaking out

[sandymybeloved]

doctor who doesn't really scare me anymore, the one exception to this is the waters of mars, which reduces me to a nervous wreck for it's entire run time

[happys-crazy-queen22]

I'm The Right One For You

Gif credit @spooky-cory.

Requested by @stellarosedutton. I hope you like it Thanks for the request.

"Rip, Rip, babe"? Snapping your fingers in front of Rips face. You were trying to talk to him about the kids but he seemed like he had something more interesting on his mind and in his sight.

"What"? Rip, huffed turning his head to look at you.

"Where are you right now? I'm talking about the kids and you're off in lala land".

"I have lots of shit on my mind. I cant be talking about the kids, right now". Rip grumbled and grabbed his beer off the table and walked out the door.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you watched the kids play with their uncles. You knew this job was hard on Rip but you thought it would be easier if you and the kids were there to help out.  But it just seemed to make things worse for Rip and you.

"You okay"? Lloyd came over and sat down in Rips spot.

"Yeah. I'm good".

"You know, ever since you and Rip got together. I could tell when you lie. It wasnt very often but when you did, you always said "I'm good". Not your normal bubbly self. So what's up"?

"I think, Beth Dutton has finally sunk her claws into Rip. She has been awfully flirty with him and he just shrugged it off at first but now I think they have something going on".

"Why do you think that"?

"He's distance. He never comes home at a descent hour nowadays. We havent had a conversation longer that "get to work". I'm starting to worry.  We havent had sex in months. We use to do it every night".

Lloyd couldnt hold in his laughter. "I'm very aware of that. We could hear you miles away. But dont think to much into it. He's just stressed and hes working to hard". Lloyd tried to reassure you but it didn't help.

"I know. But something is wrong and he wont talk to me". You sigh running your hand through your hair.

"You need some sleep. Why don't you take the kids and head to bed. We'll be quiet".

"Yeah. Thanks for the talk, Lloyd".

"Anytime, sugar". Lloyd sent you a wink as you grabbed up Carson, your 2 year old son and Neveah, your 3 year old daughter with Rip.

Carson was already asleep when you hit home, just a walk down the trial. Neveah was a little chatter box. Opening the door on the house, you got a not so suprising shock. Your suspicions were right. Quickly covering Neveahs eyes with your hand.

"You cheating fucking bastard". Your voice made Beth giggle and Rip freak when he saw you.

"Its not what it looks like". Rip tried to explain.

"Did you slip in shit and went dick first into Beth's pussy"? You asked sarcastically.

"Dont cuss in front of the kids".

"Oh so you can cheat on their mother in front of them. Because this right here will scar them for life before me saying dick and pussy will. You fucking asshole". You grabbed up Neveah and headed back to the bunkhouse.

You kicked the door open as Rip was behind you. Everyone got quiet as you came in.

"Did you all know"? You asked everyone staring at you.

"No". Lloyd looked at you then to Rip with a disappointing look.

"Can you watch them so I can cool off and figure out what to do? Because I'm not staying here". You handed Ryan Neveah and laid Carson down on the beside him.

"Yeah, no problem".

You started outside and grabbed a sledgehammer on your way out that leaned against the house.

"Y/N, what are you doing"? Kayce heard the ruckus and came running out of the main house. Rip didnt follow you. He was probably getting a ear full from Lloyd and the others. They seemed to care about you more than Rip did.

"Stay out of this Kayce". You growled, going up to Beth's car and smashing her back windshield.

"Oh fuck". Kayce exclaimed, his hands going to his hair.

You smashed in her side windows and then her windshield with ease. You were beyond pissed.

"No no no". Kayce went to waving his arms.

Then you went on to Rips truck, you climbed on to his hood and smashed his windshield.

"That's my truck". Kayce yelled his neck vein popping out as the moonlight hit him.

You looked in the truck, there wasn't two carseats for the kids. "Why didn't you tell me beforehand". You screamed back.

"What does no no no mean to you"? Kayce dramatically through up his arms.

"Sorry". You got down from the hood of the truck and walked over to Kayce, who was having a nervous breakdown over his windshield.

"Where's Rips truck"?

"At your house, I'm guessing. Damn it, Y/N. Why did you do that for"?

"I caught Beth fucking Rip in our house".

"Shit, I'm sorry. You can continue on her car if you want"? Kayce chuckled, he tried covering his crying as he went up to his truck. "I love this truck".

"I'll pay for the windshield. Well, Rip will".

"Yeah, okay". Kayce sniffled and turned around to you. "You wanna talk about it"?

"Nah. I'm okay. I saw it coming. It was just a matter of time. I just wish that Naveah hadn't seen it". You handed Kayce the sledgehammer.

"Oh no. I'm sorry. That sucks".

"Yeah, so I'm going to go get the kids and go home. Rip can fuck off. Sorry again about your windshield".

"You need help? Um carrying the kids"?

"Sure. Thanks". You slightly smiled and went to the bunkhouse. When you got in the kids were asleep. Rip was gone and the guys were quietly playing poker.

"Thanks for watching them. I appreciate it". You told Lloyd and the others as you scooped up Carson.

"Any time. We're sorry about you and Rip. We gave him a lashing.  He's sorry".

"Yeah, well. Fuck him. Thanks again".

Kayce and you started walking down to your house. The lights were out so you knew Rip wasnt home.

"You sure you want to stay here? You know, after what happened"? Kayce asked walking up the stairs, Naveahs arms wrapped around his neck.

"Shit. I didnt think of that. We'll just avoid the couch. Just put the kids in their beds". You chuckle as you opened the door. You averted your eyes and headed to Carsons room.  Laying him down gently and kissing his head, before stepping out. Kayce met you in the hall way.

"Before you go can you help me"?

"Sure. Anything".

"You want me to touch that"? Kayce gagged as you laughed. You wanted the couch out of the house.

"Just grab it and let's go".

"They were naked. Doing the nasty".

"I thought you were a country boy. Not afraid of anything. Not some wimp".

"You've seen Rip naked and shit. I havent. I dont want the mental picture and his DNA all over my hands".

"Quit whining. I didnt want to see your sister balls deep on my boyfriend but I did. You can handle a little Rip jizz". You say with a laugh as Kayce dropped his side on the ground quickly wiping his hands off on his jacket with a disgusting face.

"You alright there"?

"Peachy".

"You alright"? Kayce asked.

"Surprisingly well. I thought I couldn't live without Rip, but after catching him. I dont want anything to do with him. Every time I see his face my skin crawls". You say putting your end of the couch down and dusting off your hands.

"Want some coffee"? You asked Kayce.

"You want company"? He replied.

"Yeah, I wont be able to sleep so might as well stay up with you". You snicker as Kayce playfully nudged your arm.

"Gee, thanks. I'm so glad I can keep you company".

"Um, when did you know Beth was after Rip"? Kayce questioned when you set his cup down in front of him.

"Months ago. When we all went to the rodeo. I took the kids to the bathroom and when I came back she had her head and arm laying on him. He just shrugged her off when he saw me. So I knew something would happen or had already happened". You gulped down the steaming hot coffee in your mouth.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not my place to say it but you're better without him".

"What you mean"?

"I mean no disrespect but what does he exactly do for you and the kids? He's hardly ever home. I've never seen him take the kids riding or even play with them. The horse hands do more than he has since you been here. I just dont know what you saw in him". Kayce felt he was treading on thin ice when he said that.

"When I met him, he was drunk. He's funny when he's drunk. We started dating, had Neveah then Carson and everything after changed when we moved in with him. Like we're stepping on his toes or something. Now he doesn't talk to me. So I guess what I saw in him.... I'm not sure anymore".

"You're a single mom basically. Now you're a single woman. What are your plans"?

"I dont know. I guess I can move back to my old house. It hasn't sold yet. Put the kids in daycare and still work here. But then Rip wouldnt want that and I dont want to see Beth all over him. So I'll have to get another job".

"You're really going to leave"? Kayce acted crushed.

"There's nothing here for me".

"I'm here. The guys are here". Kayce licked his lips as he looked at your lips.

"They dont want a mother with two kids here, weighing them down. Especially you, you dont need that".

"What if I want that"? Kayce looked into your eyes.

"Kayce, stop".

"What? I know you feel this connection between us. It's been there". Kayce stepped closer to you. His hand reached for yours on the counter top.

"I just broke up with Rip. You really decided that this was the perfect time to confess your love for me". You nervous chuckle.

"There isn't a better time then now. I want you. I may not be the man Rip is but I'll take care of you and the kids. I'll treat them as my own. You can move in with me and smother me with your toys and love". Kayce grinned.

"They do have lots of toys". You say looking around the house.

"What about Rip and Beth"?

"They have each other. Why cant we be happy together"?

"I dont know, Kayce".

"We'll take it slow. How about this Saturday, we go on a date. The guys can watch the kids and we'll get to know each other. I'm funny without being drunk,  I have other great things about me. Plus I'm cute and you can't say no to this face". Kayce pointed to his face with a smirk.  

"Okay. I'll go on a date with you. I don't want to hurt the kids if they get attached and we dont make it".

"I understand. But I have a feeling we're going to make it. I even see a little Dutton in our future". Kayce pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Is this you being funny or have you lost your mind"? You laugh, putting your hands on his chest.

"I'm just sure that we'll be together. We're going to have a great future together". Kayce leans in and captures your lips with his.

This all took you by surprise. You didnt know Kayce felt this way about you. But deep down you felt in your heart that this all happened for a reason and Kayce was meant for you. You just took a detour, a bumpy road and went off a cliff but was rescued by a cowboy named Kayce Dutton imagine that.

[bridgyrose]

Requesting more of agender!Ruby committing more gender crimes 🥺👉👈

It all started with a smile. That damned smile that Neo and Emerald gave her. And at first, everything started gradually. First came Ruby’s haircut, buzzing the sides of her shoulder length hair. At first, she wasnt sure of it, but once she saw the smiled Neo and Emerald gave her, she couldnt say no. And a week after, it all finally looked natural to her.

Another week passed and then came the change of wardrobe. This was the strangest change to Ruby. Its not as if any of her clothes were tossed out, no, but clothes were added. Hanging in her closet with her skirts were a few pairs of black jeans. She wasnt entirely sure who put them in, but she swore she’d never wear them. That promise only lasted for a few days. After a slight wardrobe malfunction, she had to wear the pants that were waiting for her. Once again, Neo and Emerald gave her that same smile and she figured she’d give it a couple days. Now she wouldnt dream of going back to wearing skirts without jeans underneath.

Ruby sighed as she started running through the camera roll on her phone, looking at the pictures she took of herself over the years. Sure, she was never really a feminine kind of girl, but on the other hand, the more she looked at herself from even a year ago, everything felt off. She still couldnt place what she was feeling, but she couldnt seem to recognize who she used to be anymore.

“Hey, Rubes!” Emerald called out from the other side of the apartment. “We’re going to be late if you dont finish getting dressed-”

“I’m not going.”

Emerald poked her head into Ruby’s bedroom. “I’m sorry, did you, Ruby Rose, say you’re not going to Beacon for their annual Computer Science and Technology convention? Why?”

“I’m not feeling well right now.” Ruby sighed and laid back, moving her phone above her and keeping her eyes glued to the old pictures of her. “I’ll just go next year.”

Emerald sighed and sat down next to Ruby on her bed. “Ruby, what is this about?”

Ruby slowly lowered her phone to her lap. “I dont recognize myself anymore.”

“And why is that keeping you from going to the one convention you never shut up about? Even I want to go and you know how I feel about all of this.”

“Its… complicated.” Ruby sat up and let out a sigh. “Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself from a year ago, maybe two years ago and wonder who that was? I know it’s only been a couple months, but… I just… dont recognize who I used to be. And I’m a bit… self conscious about it.”

“And why is that keeping you from going out?”

“I… what if someone there recognizes me and makes a huge deal out of this? What if I find someone else who knows me and thinks I’m a freak?”

“A freak for what? Dressing with how you feel comfortable?” Emerald shook her head and pulled Ruby close. “Who cares what others think. When you came out to Neo and I, sure, we were confused, but its not like we stopped loving you for you.”

Ruby nodded slowly. “Y-yeah, but… it’ll be different if Nora or Mercury see me.”

“Why? Afraid they’ll confuse you for a guy?”

“No, but… I…”

“Then what’s the worry?”

“What if they dont accept me for me anymore?” Ruby let go of her phone, letting it slide off her lap and onto the bed. “I use whatever pronouns suit each day, I dont dress like a boy or a girl, I’m going in for top surgery in a week… what if they dont want to know me anymore because of it?”

“And I think you’re overreacting.” Emerald pushed Ruby over and smirked. “They’re your friends. Ones you’ve been avoiding for the last six months. At some point you’re going to have to tell them about who you really are. But only when you’re ready to.”

Ruby sat up again and sighed. “I know, but… that fear is still in the back of my mind. Sure they’re both trans-”

“Then what exactly is there for you to fear?” Emerald stood up and smirked at Ruby. “Just go to the convention, run into them, talk to them, and I’m sure they’ll be more excited that you’re finally trying to reach out to them again than be angry at you for whatever gender crimes you’ve been committing.”

“Do we really have to call what I’m doing a crime?”

“Hun, everything you’ve been doing since you’ve come out to Neo and I has been a crime of some sort. Not that it makes you any less attractive.”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, I’ll go. But if Nora or Merc are there-”

“You’ll talk to them like the grown up you are.” Emerald quickly grabbed Ruby’s hand and started pulling her off. “Now lets go! Neo’s waiting for us out in the car.”

Ruby stumbled a bit as she was pulled by Emerald. “W-wait! I need a few minutes to make sure I’m ready!”

“You’ll have that time in the car! I refuse to let you put this off any longer.”

[mythiccheroacademia]

Can you please do a fic where kirishima and kaminari turning into babies and reader have to take care of them but kaminari dont like reader for some strange reason and them resolved it🤩 sorry for bad English 😅

A/N: this was such a cute request! the characters as babies just makes my heart 😚🥰😍 I hope y’all enjoy this one! and your english is great btw!

Warnings: cuteness overload? and some cussing bc bakugo’s here. what do you expect?

Kirishima Eijirou: 

when you woke up to bakugo banging on your door, you knew it was going to be a weird day 

bakugo was notrious for being an early bird, but he usually kept that to himself. so why was he screaming outside your door at 6 in the freaking morning?

“y/n! you have ten seconds to open this fucking door before i—“

you swung the door open with the meanest glare you could muster, ready to cuss him out

“what the hell do you want—“

your voice catches in your throat when you see a sleeping black haired child, no older than two, curled up in his arms 

you stare at the baby

then you stare at bakugo

bakugo stares back in confusion

then it clicks

“IT’S NOT MY FUCKING BABY!!” he explodes

“LANGUAGE BAKUGO!”

“STOP FUC--I MEAN FREAKING ASSUMING THINGS”

you didnt get a chance to respond before he shoves the baby in your arms and tells you it’s kirishima who got hit by a quirk during his internship 

the teachers knew and left him with katsuki, but he couldnt take care of him today bc he had to go to his intership, and he didnt trust anyone else with the child

so that’s how you ended up alone with baby kiripima 🥺

you find out very quickly that kirishima was as energetic as ever, even as a baby 

the minute he wakes up, he nearly jumps out of bed and declares to the entire room 

“g’ mornin’!” 

then he glomps you with the biggest hug 

“y/n! we swol too-day!!”

you figured out that he knows who you are but that’s the extent to which he does 

either way, he’s very excited to spend the day with you 

he’s still extroverted even as a kid and loves being around his friends

when you took him around to meet everybody, he just gobbled up the attention. most importantly, he just loved your attention

he such a show off for you omg 

he’ll be “ultra manly” and clean his mess all by himself 

or when you try and help him wash his hands, he’ll stop you with a determined pout and go “i can do it!” and concentrate really hard on scrubbing his hands clean 

when you’d praise him for eating all his food he’d give you the biggest shark-tooth smile and cutely blush from your words

he still kind of stumbled when he walked but whenever he saw something cool, he’d take your hand and basically drag you with him, excitment in his steps 

and when you showed him the gym?

he was in L O V E 🤩

you may or may not have taken a couple pictures when you saw him attempt to lift a five pound weight 

bath time is fun and easy bc he’s too busy pretending to be a shark to really think about the fact that he’s getting clean

when you tell him it’s bed time, he doesn’t wanna sleep at first. but then you make a sad face and he instantly drops what he’s doing and hurriedly says,

“okay! okay! i sleep! see!?”

goes and gets his blanket and curls up in your bed bc he’s the goodest boy and it’s unmanly to make a pretty person sad!

he looks so small and fluffy that you literally wanna bawl your eyes out 

ahhh he’s just the cutest!!

you lie next to him and decide to take a nap too bc it’s been a long day 

before you fall asleep, you feel the small boy nuzzle into your chest and wrap his arms around your neck 

“night night. luh you,” he whispers before he starts to snore 

like 🥺🥺🥺

you could seriosuly die happy 

the next day, you wake up with a heavier arm around your shoulders. it’s so heavy that you can barely move and it confuses you 

when you open your eyes, you see that kirishima has gone back to normal 

and usually you’d be freaking out bc you may or may not have a small crush on him and now that he was normal sized, you were staunchly reminded of it

but when he pulls you in closer to his embrace, you can’t seem to care rn

for now, you’ll just enjoy this moment

Kaminari Denki:

“Y/N!! watch out!”

you were all kinds of confused when kaminari jumped in front of you to protect you from a villain’s quirk and he disappeared

and just when you were about to freak out, you heard small whimpers and cries 

you looked to the ground and saw that kaminari hadnt disappeared

your best friend just turned into a freaking two year old child 

and you dont think he likes you 

at all 

once you two were brought to safety, it was like denki finally took a good look at who was holding him and just

flipped shit 

he gives you a firm (but cute) frown that makes you blink in confusion

then he suddenly pushes his hands against your chest to try and get away 

“no! stop! i wanna go!”

at first, you thought he was scared so you attempted to soothe him but it’s no use

he’s admant on throwing his tiny temper tantrum

although, when recovery girl takes him to go get checked, he instantly calms down and smiles as she tells him how cute he his 

you can’t say you didnt feel your heart break just a little 💔💔💔

but youre determined to win over his affection bc wth? you’re supposed to be best friends! 

(read: you had a crush on older denki and you couldnt handle the fact that these might be his true feelings towards you and he might actually not like you)

so the entire day, you’re doing everything you can to make the kid at least acknowledge you 

right now, it’s the bakusquad that’s collectively taking care of him for the day, but you’re there to help

you try to tell him jokes babies could understand and he’ll just look at you and turn away 

mina told you that food was the best way to a guy’s heart so you made him his favorite (soft) food as a peace offering

and you were absolutely crushed when he stiffened up and refused to eat it until bakugo scared him into eating 

he turns away and you just 💔😞

after that, you sighed and gave up

you sorrowfully accepted the fact that denki just didnt like you :(

at least you now know your chances of being with him was nonexistent

you made up some excuse to leave the room bc you coudlnt take the heartbreak

everyone pretty much bought into it

all except denki who might have been a child, but he was still as perceptive as ever 

unbeknowest to you, denki didnt really dislike you 

the reason he was acting like a jerk was bc you put yourself in danger during the mission and he was so angry about it 

he didnt know how to confront these feelings so he just ignored you 

but when he saw the silver tears line your eyes, he felt so bad 😭

he didn’t know how to emotion™️

pls don’t leave him :(((

the emotions overwhelmed him so much to the point that he bursted out in tears and wasn’t cosoled by anything 

“come on, bro! what’s wrong!?” sero anxiously asked 

“y/n! i want y/n!”

he didnt have to say it twice 

the group basically shove him in your arms and youre confused when denki latches onto you like a life line bc did he just hate you three seconds ago?

despite your saddness, you comfort him by whispering sweet nothings in his ear and denki is instaneously consoled solely by your voice 

the crying takes a lot of energy from him and he can barely keep his eyes open

but before he sleeps, he softly says, “i wa’ scare-d. sowwy y/n”

again, you’re confused, but you were too tired to think about it so you decide to go to bed and deal with this tomorrow

it’s the next day and your face-to-face with a normal kaminari who’s obviously been awake for some time and looks petrified 

now that he’s older, you’re reminded of everything he put you through and you’re salty af about it

“you still hate me?” you sassily say 

denki’s face erupts in an embarrassed blush and youre surprised when he buries his head in your neck, holding you close to his chest 

without looking at you, he explains his true feelings for you in a really round about way

you pull his face back to look at him and as he sputters out apologies to you, you kiss is nose 

“you idiot. i like you too if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

denki stares before short-circuting and you just laugh as he mumbles happily to himself 

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

[littlenahsstuff]

In love, I swear.

A/n Literally my first time writing actual fanfiction. This might be a flaming dumpster fire idk. I will persevere and cringe later, but for now, enjoy.

supreme!Cordelia Goode x reader

TW:nothing much, just a big old fluffernutter sandwich. A little angst. Swears I guess.

Synopsis: Cordelia has just recruited you to be a counselor at Robicheauxs and it's safe to say you are head over heels for the supreme. Unfortunately, you aren't the one to tell her.

You always thought that you weren't too special of a witch, you had the basic witchy spells down and specialized in the people who struggled on the inside... but in a more witchy sense. You also helped the witches who needed to get their powers more developed or who ones that are just behind in school. A sort of glorified counselor you suppose. It's sorta funny, especially since you aren't the most confident, how you can talk to all of the girls. When it boils down to it you are just a witchy gal searching for love. Specifically Cordelia's. It could never happen though.

Your love life wasn't the only area you lacked in before Robicheauxs, you had been struggling to find a job suited for your interests. Let's just say that you have a lifetime ban from one of the Mcdonalds in Louisiana. Fire and grease doesn't mix.

Of course, if it wasn't for dear, sweet, precious, Cordelia, you would be living on the streets. Luckily that didnt happen and so here you are today, three months in to your teaching position at Robicheauxs.

Oh, the moment, "You're hired. I look forward to expanding the academy's family and getting to know you better especially," left the Supremes lips, the better off you were.

And yet, even with all of the joy that comes with finally getting paid, there were the challenges as well. For starters, everyone was extremely nice to you, even though you kept mostly to yourself, there was this one person that made this heaven more hellish. Madison the bitch witch Montgomery.

You had been warned by Zoe, your closest confidante in this new place and also Madisons freaking girlfriend, that she was no pleasant peach. Never in all of your doubtful thoughts, had how bad it actually was crossed your mind. It was never the cockiness that got to you, you had a different appreciation for it than most. Found the confidence refreshing almost. No, no no no no. It was in fact, that she was constantly trying to dig up dirt on you.

"You're too much of a goody two shoes y/n," she once stated with a glare. The same day you had heard Zoe squabbling about something and your name came up. Your name and the fact Madison had stolen your wallet to look at your license. It turned up later on your bed stand.

Madison's a lover of Zoe and drama you've come to find out.

It's harmless though really, you dont mind the extra bit of attention that comes with it. Its flattering so no need to complain to anybody, especially not Cordelia.

Cordelia, mmm, yeah now shes the biggest threat here. She is the reason you got this job and might be the reason you lose it.

She once caught you with your doodle journal. It was a harmless question,

"Y/n, what're you drawing?" She looked over your shoulder. You almost jumped out of your skin and your sketchbook went flying.

"Oh dear, are you alright?" She worried her lips a bit. Her big, plump, kissable lips. Come on Y/n, get out of it.

"Yes," you squeaked. Sinking farther into the sofa. She chuckled her beautiful chuckle and sat on the couch arm.

"So, what was my favorite school counselor drawing just then?" She questioned. Glancing to the thrown book.

Your face went red.

"Uh-" you paused, come on you're making it a bigger deal than it has to be, "you." You couldn't look into her eyes.

She gazed at you at you and it felt like a hole was being burned into your skull.

"Okay," Cordelia said, leaving it at that. Stood up and made to walk away.

"Wait!" She paused and turned back to you, seeing you scramble to get your sketchbook.

"Yes?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I- don't you want to see it?" You said and you slapped yourself mentally for about the hundredth time she walked in.

She smiled softly at you, "Of course, I thought you didn't. You looked scared to death, like bambi."

"Okay," you flipped back towards the page and cringed. It wasn't your best peice. You could never capture her beauty right.

Her eyes scanned over it, widening before squinting with her grin.

"It's so good!" She gasped.

"Yes, that is Cordelia Goode," you joked in a monotone manner. She slapped your shoulder jokingly, making you snort.

"You nerd, I didn't mean it that way. Either way, you did a fantastic job! I wished I looked as good as you make me seem," she muttered the last bit, bit you heard it. It saddens you to remember the damage Fiona did.

"Hey, Cordy," you started. You realized that you used a nickname that Madison did, but she doesn't seem to care.

"You know what I think? I think that you're wrong. You see I just can't for the life of me get your soft proud loving smile right. Your eyes aren't as warm and glowing as they are in reality. I couldn't manage to picture the right placement for those worry lines or crowd feet you have. You might not like them, but to me they show that you worry and care and that you laugh at the stupidest of things, which is a trait I adore. You are more perfect than any Davinci or Van Gogh," you say. You don't like when your friends feel bad about themselves.

Cordelia's tearing up a bit and wiles it away. "Didn't know you were a goddamn poet too?" She joked with a giggle, "thanks y/n, sometimes I need to hear something like that."

"No problem Cordelia," I can't help it, you're my muse, is what you want to say.

"Well, I have some paperwork, but it was nice to see ya," she hurriedly excused and rushed out.

Unbeknownst to you, Madison was watching. She knew exactly how to get dirt on you now. She had something all along.

The next week you spent daydreaming about Cordy...elia, you couldnt help but go back to that conversation. You needed to be more discrete, way more descrete.

So you made sure to draw your crush no more. That didn't change the fact you forgot to destroy the evidence in writing.

You had slept in a little too late, so in a rush you were to get to your office. The reason you had being you daydreaming about Cordelia and yours faux life together a little too long.

A bunch of new juicy stuff for Madison as she snatched it from your bedside table. It was too easy really.

She opened it up to the first page. It acted like a normal diary, just stating checklists of things to do and things you did. The size was fairly large, so skipping a few pages till she got to the juicy stuff and the part where you actually did know Cordy wasn't harmful.

It was a barf fest of emotion. "Oh Cordelia is so awesome, oh I'm so lucky to work with Cordelia, oh my, I won't ever get a chance with Cordelia, she's the supreme!"

"Ew," Madison groaned, whipping out her phone.

Then she found it, the goldmine of confessions. It was all the way in the back, meaning you had wrote it recently.

"Dear, myself

Cordelia today caught me drawing a picture of herself and said something I didn't particularly enjoy listening about herself. I can't believe Fiona would send her into such a deep hatred of herself that even with her gone she's hurting. She's no mother. Cordelia is the love of my life, even if I'm not hers, she deserves all the love I can give. She's not broken, but she just needs someone to love her and I do. I promise to give her as much love as possible without her finding out what kind it really is, I'm in love, I swear.

Sincerely, Y/N."

So she snapped a picture of the page.

After school was over Cordelia was not expecting Madison to barge into her office. Let alone with something regarding YOU of all people.

"Cordy, I've got something to tell you about y/n!" Madison sang out, waving her phone in front of Cordelia's face as she sat on top her desk.

Madison was just careless with others and too carried g about herself. It was the perfect storm. The only person who could ever take it too far to just prove a point. That there was something wrong with you.

If Madison Montgomery had taken one moment to actually think about it, she was just jealous. Jealous that another person at the coven was better than her to Cordelia. She was one spoiled bitch growing up. Guess it backfired.

"What?" Cordelia questioned in concern, "Is she okay? Madison what did you do to her!?" Her thoughts raced, Madison's pranks often went a little too far. She did kill Misty.

"Now now Cordy, don't get your panties in a twist. Here read this," Madison demanded to her supreme, she shoved it into her face and Cordelia grabbed it.

Her eyes expected headlines on the news or a mugshot, but she realized it was just your writing.

"Madison," she warned.

"Come on, I know you can read!" Madison poked Cordelia's forehead, prompting a slap from the Supreme.

Ms. Goode exhaled, "Fine."

Her eyes fluttered over the words, brows furrowing with every sentence. She couldn't comprehend, could she read?? It seemed to her as if her brain was creating what she wanted to see, but no, you wrote it. Unfortunately.

Everything's silent. Then the thought flits across her head, you like her back.

"In love, I swear."

Oh she's mad. Not at you, no, she could never. Madison on the other hand better,

"Get out of my office right now," Cordelia whispered. Madison's smile faltered.

"What, didn't you want to know your feelings are reciprocated? Come on, I'm just trying to get you two to speed up the process." Madison hopped of the desk and sauntered out.

What has she done.

Cordelia was wracked with guilt for awhile, with no way to tell you either. How does one even go about telling someone they read their deepest darkest secrets. How!?

She couldn't, so she did what she could. She pulled away from you and into her work. All of those lunches spent together stopped. The nights in the green house gone. Reading together on the weekends by the fire, gone.

And it left you empty. You had no idea what you did, but you must've done something.

So you decided to confront her, you hadn't gone much sleep since, so you were literally and figuratively tired of all of this shit.

Your knock on the door startled Cordelia, but your presence startled her even more. Both of you looked like wrecks.

"Oh, Y/n! Please, come in," Cordelia gestured and you did, closing the door behind you.

It was then that you finally broke down.

"What did I do Delia!?" You sobbed, falling to your knees. Yes it was dramatic and not even you expected it but you were holding your emotions for so long.

"Oh," Cordelia briskly moved over to you, concern painted on her face. She was watching you carefully, you looked so fragile. Just like she had felt at times.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, "What did I do?" Her hand tilted your head towards her, but you still couldn't look into her brown eyes, opting for the floor. If you did, you probably wouldn't be able to look away.

"Y/n look at me sweetie," the nicknames never failed to make your heart soar. It was your weakness, your eyes met and they were glued there.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing nothing!" She took a deep breath, "I saw a page from your journal."

You froze, terror crept up your spine.

"Oh my god. Um Cordelia I am so sorry, you, wow I- god I'm so creepy! It's perfectly fine if you want to not be my friend or fire me. I didn't do it to be weird, it was how I expressed myself. I was trying to hide it I promise, i dont even know what happened!?"

"I'm gonna kill Madison, faster than my mother did," Cordelia groaned.

"Wh-" your brain malfunctions. Is-Is Cordelia kissing you? Right now?

Indeed she was and just like you dreamed about, her lips were so soft and her kiss gentle.

Maybe Madison could be forgiven... but not without a harsh talk.

"In love, I swear," she repeated in a whisper against your lips.

[petewentzisblack1312]

What got you into fob? I've seen your posts a lot and I always wonder how some peeps found the boys

ok so we have to start when i was about 6 ish years old, 2006 thereabout, when some show comes on and i see some dude on the screen who has like. eyeliner and straight black bangs and i dont know why but this freaks little me the fuck out and i knew 1 thing and it was that this dude was like an example of a cliche rock and roll guy so i decided right then and there i would NEVER get into alternative music because i did not under any circumstances want to look like that.

so fast forward almost a decade, i have just learnt albums are a thing that exist with maroon 5s overexposed (this is so sad alexa press f) and my best friends and i go to the movies to watch big hero 6 bc i thought itd be fun, and i realised Holy Shit I Love This Movie And Also Want To Be An Engineer, and then the scene plays (you know the scene) and my friend and i turn to each other and agree, this song? a banger. hard as hell. love this shit. and i left the theatre and i couldnt get the song or the movie out of my head so i subsequently watched big hero 6 like 2 more times (very major for me, a person who doesnt really watch movies) and listened to immortals by playing the music video (i use the term loosely) on loop for like 2 days. and then i realised, boy. i sure do like this song and i think its my favourite song and i cant even parse the lyrics. i should listen to some other stuff. so i listened to other stuff off ab/ap, on shuffle, and i loved it a lot and i realised immortals wasnt even my favourite song anymore. so i was like dang, if thats the case i should listen to another album by them (because rememver id just learned albums exist) so i listened to save rock and roll, again on shuffle (because it didnt really occur to me that order mattered yet, one foot in the door) and i realised again, liked this even more than what i last listened to. so then i went to folie a deux, and im not sure if i hit shuffle, because the first thing that played was disloyal order. and i thought for a moment something was wrong, because it was quiet, but then there was the click of what i now know to be billiards balls, and the organs, and patricks voice, and i think i met a god when i heard that. i think that did something to me.

from then on i was hooked. im still hooked, mind you, but i have the benefit of not being 14 now. so everything i did had to be related to fall out boy. hell i could play the 7 degrees of fall out boy if anyone would humour me. i was obsessed. so then, a few months later, my art teacher gave us an assignment to draw facial details, but i didnt feel comfortable asking my friends because i wasnt used to having good ones yet so i thought theyd say no, so i decided, hey. google pictures of fall out boy. so i did, i opened google and searched 'pete wentz' and was looking for good pictures to use as a reference and then i came across the exact picture of him that scared me into avoiding alternative music for my entire life up until that point. i honestly dont know which one it is anymore (i THINK it was him in the full band portrait from ioh?) but i still think that its fucking hilarious that seeing pete wentz kept me from realising im a fan of pete wentz. 6 year old dils would hate my style so much til i explain that ironically our exact philosophy is entailed by those scary rock and roll type people. like to a T i was straight up an anarchist (and kind of a communist too?) without even really understanding what that means. its hilarious.

anyway thats how i became a fall out boy fan.

[zmayadw]

Hello :) 

It’s time for the next part :)

Thanks again to all who read it so far!

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 3

I woke up with the sun already out, making my eyes adjust to the light again. I checked the clock above doors. 9.45. Huh, nice, I tought, the nurse didnt lie when she said the pain meds would make me sleep better. I felt more rested today, but still pretty sore. I managed to get up and go to bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror -I looked like hell. I hoped Jessy would come today with my stuff, I needed some fixing up urgently. As I was leaving the bathroom, my phone beeped with new message. My heart jumped with excitement,only to see it was Jessy. „Hey hey, sleeping beauty, im sorry, you will have to manage without my awesomness today, but dont worry, i'm sending the next best person to keep you company! ;D Call you later ,kisses!“ I smiled as I layed back to bed. That sweet nurse from before entered my room smiling. „Good morning, hun, hope you slept well“. „I sure did, thanks.“ I replied, while she settled the food tray with breakfast on the stand. She helped me make myself comfortable in bed, and putted the tray in front of me, when a voice came from the door. „Doris! My favorite nurs!“ It was Dan, and Doris chuckled as Dan came over to the bed. „Oh my, hun, if I knew who your friend was, I would have brought you something stronger then this tea“ I laughed, while Dan made a gesture with his hands, stabing at his heart. „Awww, c'mon Doris, dont be so cruel, you know you like me!“ Doris just waved her head as she went for the door. „If this schmuck starts to bother you too much, you just yell hun.“  I smiled at her „Thanks Doris, I might just do that.“  Dan looked at me. „Is that a 'thank you' I get for coming here?“ he siad, being dramatic as Dans always is. I grinned „Ofcourse not! But its entertaining to see you all squirmy.“ „Tsk,tsk, sure, pick on poor Dan.“ He grabed a chair and sat next to the bed. „You look like shit, Maya.“  „Gee, thanks Dan, thats really what I wanted to hear.“ I said, even tho I knew he was right, I did look awful. „Hey, dont get mad at me, I just say it as it is! Luckily, Dan is here to the rescue..again.“ he said handing me my backpack. „ Jessy went through your stuff, and filled your pack with what she tought you might need the most. She said to text her later if theres anything else you need so she can bring it.“ „Thanks Dan.“ I said taking the backpack from him. „And I mean thanks, not just for this.“ Dan looked at me, and I could read a bit of worry on his face. He quickly tried to hide it „Hey, no need to thank me, I told you once before, if theres a damsel in distress, im here to help.“ „Damsel“ I snorted. „Doubt that a damsel would act so stupid as I did.“ I felt that awfull feeling of guilt taking over me again. „Look Maya, i'm really not the one to judge you here. Yes, what you did was Incredibly stupid, and lets be honest, you almost got yourself killed. When Lily called me and told me everything, I was so pissed at both of you, well you mostly, but also kinda excited that someone actualy took the matter into its own hands.“ I looked at him with awe, I didnt quite expect it. He continued „And frankly, I kinda expected something like this from you sooner or later, well at least the part of you coming to Duskwood. As I was running to my car, calling Thomas and filing him in on everything,I got really angry at you for not turning to me for help. You know I would help you no matter what, I told you that hundred of times before.“  „Yes Dan, I know you would.“ I said, even more of that guilt creeping in. „But you didnt! Then I tought, maybe afterall you didnt trust me enough as you said.“ „I did trust you, I do trust you Dan, you have to know that.“ Now even tears started forming in my eyes. „I know, Maya, its just how I felt at the time. And when I got to the mine, Thomas was already there, with this cop who was close by and responded to the call since I told Lily to inform that inspector guy. He said we should wait for backup, but stuborn as I am, I just rushed in, Thomas yelling after me, but I just kept running. Good thing they went after me, because God only knows what would happen if they didnt.“ I couldnt keep the tears anymore, and I just burst out crying. Dan got up from his chair, sat next to me on the bed, hugging me. „ As I said im not here to judge you, or make you fell more guilty. Heck, I might have done the same thing, or something worse. Things wer starting to get us really nowhere, and something happening was kinda of a kickoff for me. And im not mad at you any more Maya, just to get that out in the opet.“ „Thanks Dan, I really appriciate it.“ I barely managed through my tears. „Yeah,yeah, im awesom, I know.“ He grined at me, as i looked him with eyes full of tears. He huged me a bit tighter, and I rested my head on his shoulder. „You got me really freaking scared there in that mine, Maya. When I saw you like that..“ he paused.  „I cant say how much im sorry about all, Dan. I did more harm then good, and I betrayed all of you guys again.“ „Well, at the end, you did find Hannah, so im sure Thomas wont have that much of a grudge.“ He grined at me, handing me a tissue, wich made me relax a bit. „Yes I did. And how are our little love birds doing?“ i asked wiping the tears, as Dan moved back to the chair. „Oh, theyr fine. Thomas is not letting Hannah alone for one milisecond, wich is a bit too wooshy mooshy if you ask me.“ He mad a face of gaging. „Oh, c'mon mister tough guy, that picture Jessy sent me of you two from last night was quite mooswhy wooshy in my eyes.“ I said teasingly. „If you ever say that to anyone about me, and I mean ANYONE, i swear Maya...“ I didnt let him finish, I just grined „Dont worry, your mooshy wooshy secret is safe with me.“ „Good, good. So when are they letting you go from this shit hole?“ „Oh, come on, its not that terrible here: food is not bad, room is nice and quiet, and I have a killer wiev, what's the hurry?“ „I promised you some whiskey.“ he grined „And Jessy wont let me drink, but when you get out she wont be abel to say no.“ „ You really ARE scared of Jessy.“ I said laughing. „She might be small, but the woman is a dynamite when serious!“ I laughed so hard, the tea I just sipped when out through my nose. „Thanks Dan, I needed this.“ „Dan to the rescue.“ He smiled and winked. „Sooo...“ he starte, and I got a feeling I knew what he gonna ask me. „Did the 'hackerboy' contaced you by now?“ „His name is Jake, could you please not call him that anymore.“ I said a bit too stern maybe. „All right, all right, no need to get all serious on me now. Did 'Jake' contacted you?“  I hesitated for a brief moment before answering „No, nothing yet. And to be honest, might be better like that. I myself am not too eager for that talk .“ „Heh, I can understand that. If I was that much pissed at you back then, I dont want to imagine how much 'hac..' , sorry, Jake is pissed at you right now.“  „Well, I guess I will find out soon enough..if he still wants to talk to me at all.“  Dan putted on his serious face, but with a little grin on it „Hey, if he talks bad to you, let me know, i'll show him off!“ „Ohh, im sure you would enjoy that..maybe even to much.“ I said, him grinning even more. „But thanks, Dan, again, for everything.“ „Yeah,yeah, dont you get all wooshy mooshy on me now also.“ he said, getting up. „Well, I gotta go. You get better soon, and call if you need anything.“  „Thanks, Dan, sure will.“ I replied, and waved him goodby. Doris came shortly after Dan left, and got me off the IV, suggesting I take a shower. I grabbed the pack Jessy sent me, and went through it. I took out some underweare, clean shirt and sweatpants, grabbed the shampoons, tooth brush and paste and headed for the bathroom. The shower did feel nice, but it took me ages to finish it, since I was still quite sore. A big bruise at my ribs was still making me short breathed at the times, and all the other cuts and bruises didnt help with easing the pain either. I had a  cut on the back of my head, wich was the reason my head still throbed a lot. I brushed my teeth, looked myself in the mirror, and already could notice some color coming back to my cheeks. I got back to bed and took my phone, might aswell check those messages and emails, its not like I'm have anything smarter to do. Most emails wer not important, I answered a few I needed, and switched to messages. Most of missed calls and messages wer from the night of the incident, so not much replaying needed here. Cleo sent a message saying shes happy im ok, and she will come to visit soon. Thomas also sent a message, thanking me for everything, emphasising tho that I was reckles and how all could have ended differently, but still no grudges from his side. He was just too happy Hannah was back with him. Ofcourse, they all wished me to get well soon, and they cant wait for when I get out so we can all meet properly.I replied to both, thanking them for good wishess. Staring at my chats screen, I opened my conversation with Jake. He was offline, ofcourse. I stared at the blinking pointer on the text space, but I didnt know what to write. My head was blank, I couldnt think of anything. After few minutes I exited the chat, settling the phone aside, and turning the tv on. Maybe some movie or something will get me relaxed a bit. I switched through channels, till I found something acceptable to watch. I ajusted myself on the pillow, and before I knew, dozed off.

[thehopeelias]

More tutb art? Big shocker 🤣🤣

@maybemayura read the first half of tutb for her first time recently so I felt like I got to relive some of my favorite parts! One chapter that I ended up going on and on about was chapter 22 when Nathalie tried to leave. I realized just how much I loved this chapter and thought I’d share some of my analysis from it!

Before you keep reading, there’s obviously huge spoilers here so if you haven’t read Throwing Up These Butterflies by @mymayura then go do that first!!

The main thing that gets me is when she couldnt zip up her sweater bc she was getting so much bigger! its such a small detail but mm was able to make me feel so hard with nathalie’s inability to ZIP HER SWEATER. like there she was trying to leave the man she feels she is burdening and ruining his life. she wants to be capaple of at least sparing him her troubles. and she cant even zip her freaking coat because of HER mistake. HER stupid wish that caused all these problems to begin with. but how can she be mad at her stomach? she WISHED for it! she wants it more than anything! thats why the wish happened. its her deepest desire and the very reason she is leaving and the very reason she cant. zip. her freakin. sweater. its this endless loop of emotions that happen in such a meaningless task.

ive reread it quite a few times 🙈 and have focused on each of their sides during the scene. i love the complexity of nathalie’s side the most from that scene because of the overwhelming amount of emotions she is facing from all angles. she’s hating the man she loves on top of ALL of that. but gabriel’s side is incredible too! and reading it from his side, he is so desperate to keep her because he WANTS her. but he is SO afraid of losing her. she is walking out of the door because of HIM and if he pushes or does something wrong, the fear of her and his child dying is on the brig. not the right word but just right there. all he can think about. this scene was so pivotal because it became too much for gabriel. the fear of losing her from his house and losing her from his life just pushed him over the edge. in ch 23, when fu left and Gabriel was sobbing at her side. he was sobbing because this scene pushed him to it. all that emotion, the intensity, SO GOOD

So those are my general thoughts 😆 If you don’t want to read my line by line (nearly) analysis then yall can keep scrolling 🤣

~~~~~~~~

Gabriel running two steps at a time down the stairs. ive already mentioned his desperation to stop her but BRUH!!! and when he gets between her and the door! i can just picture nathalie glaring at him in frustration while he basically spreads his arms across the door keeping her from leaving.

Then him trying to stop her for “her own safety” as he claims, pisses her off because she thinks he’s lying! and not just lying but lying about having an ounce of care for her! she’s convinced she’s a burden and that he would be better off without her. to hear him lie about caring for her well-being just seems like he is mocking her. a glance at what she wants but thinks can never achieve.

when she calls him cruel. i know she means it but man that hurts. even now she still loves him and still wants his love but she thinks he’s humiliating her and trapping her and just being awful. seeing someone you love in a “cruel” way like this, hurts.

“She got your personal number?” “Yes, somehow. I wonder who could have given it to her.”

sarcastic witty nathalie still shines strong in such an emotional scene like this and i love it.

‘Nathalie, it’s not what you think.” She laughs bitterly. “Of course it’s not. Look, sir, I couldn’t care less about the implied infidelity as we’re not together”

THE SIR WAS ITALICIZED (i think... i read it that way at least) and if i remember right in ch 20, gabriel made it a point for her to call him ‘Gabriel’ as he is the father of her child now. but she SPECIFICALLY calls him sir here. she’s just like ‘lets cut the facade, the fantasy, the bs dream, and remember how this relationship works. ur my boss and thats all this is ever going to be” which im sure stung gabriel a lot seeing how he doesnt want her to think of him as ‘sir’

THE DATES!!! ok it was like a super dumb idea by gabriel but “good intentions with horrible actions” is kind of his thing 🤣 its so sweet tho thinking he was doing that to try and protect her! i also liked in another chapter he admitted to himself he felt bad for leading some of the women on. he was really using them but he still had that empathy and i thought that was actually sweet. Gabriel might be an idiot but he can still be sweet 🤣 back to the point, can u IMAGINE nathalie’s reaction to seeing those pictures? gabriel JUST found out she’s pregnant with his kid and she feels horrible about it. he’s never moved on from emilie and she never thinks he will. she loves his devotion to emilie afterall. so seeing the pictures, not only was it hard to see him with other women but also hard to accept that he CAN move on and HAS moved on. not only has he not moved on with her but he didnt even take his unborn child into consideration. Not to mention, Victoire telling Nathalie to leave and spare gabriel of her burdens just confirmed everything she had been dreading, crying, and fearing for 5 months.

oo oo i loved how gabriel said “You’ve had to deal with her before.” something i love about gabenath is that they have so much chemistry. YEARS and YEARS of chemistry. and u can see that here. Gabriel points it out cuz nathalie really has been apart of his life long enough to know victoire’s a snake.

Super small but: ‘Nathalie winces. “She paid a visit to the house.”’

I can visualize that wince SO much. the pieces are coming together and she’s starting to feel awful about assuming the worst.

‘“Exactly. Adrien and I have been trying for weeks to get her off our backs. We thought — I thought that...’

I love that he was about to have adrien share the blame but was like NOPE! this is all on me. im dumb and my son is wise. 🤣

she asks if the dates weren’t real. again with the dates. pretty much the biggest issue here. the unspoken conversation happening between them, we the audience can hear so loudly. yes she asked that, and she’d never assume he would be loyal to her in that way but we KNOW she wants that. we know that she doesnt truly want him with another woman. Gabriel denying it but also wanting to yell OF COURSE NOT BC IM IN LOVE WITH YOU! its just such a cool thing.

They FINALLY break the tension and “somewhat” resolve the tension. i feel like gabriel had ONE sigh of relief and then Nathalie’s coughing got out of hand and the tensity instantly explodes again. he was already blaming himself for causing her to be upset and now she might die because of it. like AGH SO GOOD!

And that’s the end of my analysis for the section in ch 22 😂

[thenervousmedic]

I had a minecraft dream last night...

This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.

I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.

It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.

To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.

I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...

The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.

I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.

Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.

On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.

By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.

You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.

The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.

Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.

Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.

Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.

When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.

I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.

By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.

I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.

Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.

Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.

George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.

Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.

And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.

Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.

We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.

Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.

I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.

I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.

Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.

Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.

Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.

Dream never got over it.

Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.

Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.

George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.

Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.

Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.

I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.

Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.

Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.

Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.

Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.

I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.

Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.

Bad descovered a joy for cooking.

Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.

Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.

Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.

Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.

I never knew what I looked like...

Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.

Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.

Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.

I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.

George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.

I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.

Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.

That's all I can remember...

It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.

I hope I return to that dream someday.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

[royalreef]

@fullofschmidt​ inquired:  OH HOW THE TURN TABLES! Aaaaaaaall is them!!!!!!!! @collectathon​ inquired:  answer ALL the NSFW asks as payback for also playing 91 questions with all of us B) 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔩𝔶 [ℜ𝔈𝔇𝔄ℭ𝔗𝔈𝔇] ℌ𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰 - Not Accepting

      “ ... Well, if you’re both that eager -- ”

1: When did you lose your virginity?

      “I am still a virgin! And I do plan to remain so for a long while.”

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

      “Is both not acceptable? I favor taking it gentle some days, and some days I wish for something more. Variety is the most pleasurable of all.”

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

      “That depends! Landfolk have much different standards for their norms, I’ve noticed, and some things are more common in certain areas of my kingdom than others...”

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

      “ ... In a horrid little backroom that I think was supposed to be an employee breakroom. Do not ask.”

5: Favourite sex position?

      “Any that involve pinning my partner below me.”

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

      “Dominant.”

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

      “ ... Decline to answer.”

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

      “Bed if it’s gentle. Floor if there’s blood involved. The couch is far too limiting for a range of movement.”

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

      “Yes.”

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

      “No one that can speak of it.”

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

      “Am I supposed to have just one? Artisan pairs are so unique and individual! I could never decide on just one pair!”

12: How often do you have sex?

      “ ... Often.”

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

      “I am sure there are those out there I’d say yes to - but no one who I know the name of. That would... require discussion, and understanding, and a grasp upon certain things that I’m not prepared to bring up yet. Conceptually, I would enjoy any and all of my friends, but... In practice, they nor myself are ready for the knowledge of some issues.”

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

      “Why must I have a preference? They’re both enjoyable.”

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

      “Nothing that you can prove.”

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

      “Oh, that depends upon my partner and the activities! I have whole playlists for each flavor, as you do.”

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

      “See above. Though... When it comes to landfolk music, I do have a favorite.”

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

      “Absolutely - it’s a fun way to set the scene and truly improves the experience! I have false copies of several of my proper regalia for such a purpose, and of course I do have other outfits for different strokes, and even merely getting into undergarments that are a tad more showy than usual goes a long way.”

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

      “Replace ‘ bath ’ with ‘ any pool of proper saltwater ’ - freshwater baths cannot do and they do more harm than good. Showers are better, but being in the ocean is superior to anything done on land.”

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

      “Without consequence or prior explaining? Well... Perhaps Molly, she’s remarkably cute... Or Aaravi - she’s fun enough to fluster that I would love to see her below me! Or precious, handsome Liam... Or Calculester, or Scott, or Damien, or Liam, or Polly, or Zoe, or Val --- ” Okay that’s enough of Miranda’s harem talk.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

      “I’ve had more than a mere three at once!”

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

      “I do.”

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

      “Not that you can prove.”

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

      “Yes? What an odd question.”

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

      “Typically - go into aftercare, usually involving cuddling or cleaning up, tending to any wounds that may have been sustained. Some nights... Well, I have no other option than fall asleep.”

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

      “I do not share my secrets that easily!”

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

      “Both lazy mornings and passionate nights.”

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

      “ ... What?”

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

      “I don’t understand?”

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

      “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

      “See question three.”

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

     “Yes - I think I taste about the same as most others.”

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

      “If you’ve discussed it beforehand and all parties consent? What type of question is this?”

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

      “I don’t eat.”

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

      “During royal duties.”

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

      “Of course! Only a fool would not.”

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

      “When it interferes with your life and duties?”

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

      “When you’re Crown Princess, many compliments come your way. What really counts is when you look down and see them staring up at you with utter adoration.”

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

      “Finplay and gillplay.”

40: What do you wear to bed?

      “For colder nights on land - soft, comfortable sleeping garments. On warmer nights - undergarments. Underwater - nothing at all.”

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

      “Decline to comment.”

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

      “None that you will ever see.”

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

      “Recently.”

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

      “I have.”

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

      “I have had more than three at once.”

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

      “Why would I ever require an ordinary object and not something more dedicated to the task?”

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

      “What is... Less bean?”

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

      “Why would you not? If you’re both clean and safe then there’s hardly an issue.”

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

      “They’re one of the selling points, are they not?”

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

      “Eventually. Not now. One day, I shall have to give mine up as well.”

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

      “I do not eat.”

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

      “Neither - I am a princess. Why would I ever forfeit my title for any other position?”

53: Do you watch porn?

      “Not particularly - I’d much rather experience it myself.”

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

      “I have, by no one who you can prove exists. I will not discuss the why, even in those cases where I understand why. Especially not in those cases.”

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

      “Of course?”

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

      “ ... Encountering hair is always... Unique, as you can imagine it’s a rarity in my kingdom. I work through it, even if it is... strange, to have that, in those locations.”

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

      “I do.”

58: Booty or Boobs?

      “Why fight? Both are so nice...”

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

      “No. Never.”

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

      “ ... Other sex?”

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

      “I have.”

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

      “They have.”

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

      “ ... I don’t wish to speak of this.”

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

     “It depends upon the day, but I tend to handle it wholly myself.”

65. What is your bra/penis size?

      “A cup. You’ll have to guess, as to the length.”

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

      “None any more unusual than the available equipment.”

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

      “Some time ago? I cannot recall.”

68. When was the last time you had sex?

      “Recently.”

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

      “I can’t remember when - it’s been too long.”

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

      “My first... A simple thing, a good place to start. Latest... A specialty set of pearls.”

71. Guys:Circumsized?

      “ ??? ”

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

      “ ... Fins and gills, of course. Lips. Neck. Thighs.”

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

      “Outer folds.”

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

      “No? Can landfolk do that?”

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

      “What’s Tumblr?”

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

      “Several months ago by now, I believe?”

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

      “ ... It involved ice cream.”

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

      “Was this question not already asked? Yes, theoretically I would be open with being intimate with any and all of my friends.”

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

      “I have met more than a few. Most are not worth my time.”

80. Favorite sexual position?

      “Yes, I am fairly sure I have answered this before.”

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

      “A what?”

82. Are you into any BDSM?

      “Absolutely.”

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

      “ ... All the time. For the usual issues that come with my title, and... for reasons that would have to be discussed with them anyhow, if it did occur.”

84. Do you like dirty talk?

      “What is intimacy without it?”

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

      “Compared to most landfolk, I’ve discovered I can be quite loud! I think I’m fairly average, though, in my kingdom. Perhaps even on the quieter side.”

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

      “Yes, but you can’t prove how it happened.”

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

      “I don’t find it particularly enjoyable nor engaging.”

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

      “No.”

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

      “Yes - that’s the most common reason for it, is it not?”

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

      “Do not ask me about this again.”

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

      “Having friends at all is a wholly new concept to me that I am still adjusting to. It seems the sheer act of being friendly is a benefit.”

[grayson-22]

Navy and Scarlet

Warnings

Sex mention

Implied homophobia (blink and you'll miss it)

Intruxiety

I gave up on a word count because this is pretty long for my writings so....imma go eat a cookie.

It was thursday. Or maybe wednesday? Oh who cares. It was close to the end of the week when he came up to me. He was gorgeous. His eyes were a dark blue, his skin was light and looked soft, his jawline was so sharp I felt like if I touched it I would get cut. He was so professional looking, his hair slicked back, his glasses pressed neatly to his face, his tie around his neck tightened. He looked so professional, minus his navy blue hair.

I had just gotten my hair done as well, a lovely shade of red, dark near the roots and a blazing scarlet at the tips. When he came up to me and started flirting, you couldnt tell where my face stopped and my roots started.

I was sitting in the salon, fiddling with my pin. It was June, pride and i was determined to go with my best friend Patton. I guess he noticed my assortment of LGBT+ pins, or maybe i just gave off the energy, but he came up to me, placed his hand against the wall i was standing against and spoke softly.

"Is it safe to guess that you're more than an ally?" There was a soft purr in his voice. My face flamed up, "uh...yeah. I'm super gay!" He chuckled, "well I'm Logan." I blushed more.

"I mean...yes I'm gay...does that mean you are too?" I asked, trying to pull myself together.

"Is it that easy to tell?" He smiles he leaned against the wall with me. I sighed, "maybe it was the shameless flirting with a stranger?" I added.

"Well you dont have to be a stranger. I told you my name, what about yours?"

"Roman." I said with a smile.

We chatted for a bit, it was cute when i told a flirty joke and he laughed. Not long after the first interaction though, our friends came up to us.

"Lo! We need to head out before my mom finds us!" A boy with purple and black hair pulls at Logans arm. I know him from somewhere, his name is on thr tip of my tongue...

"Virgil! You're Virgil Storm, right?" He looks at me with bewilderment. "Uh...yeah, and who the hell are you?" He sounded annoyed.

"Roman Kingsly. We went to high school together. You were friends with my brother Remus." I said as i remembered their weird sleepovers.

As if the mention of my brother made his skin crawl, Virgil backed away slowly. "You're...i gotta go." He yelled out, as he ran away, pulling Logan with him.

~

I was at the hair salon. It was annoying how i got wrapped up in this mess...my friend Virgil got invited to a pride parade with his ex, and he dragged me along as well.

I decided if we were going to the parade we might as well look the part, we decided on hair dye.

Virgil had blond hair when we arrived, but left with black hair and purple highlights.

I went with a simple navy blue, not the most practical of choices, but one i could get away with. I arrived after him. I saw him sitting there, chatting with the hairdresser. His hair was blonde, most likely a bleaching first.

I watched as the hairdresser put red color in, i dont know why...but i was captivated by him. I went in after him, getting my hair done before making my way to him.

We talked, i learned all the proper information that i would need to know to continue this courtship: his name, his sexuality, and most importantly...that he was going to pride.

As i was being rushed out by Virgil, who found out i was talking to his ex's brother, i looked sadly at Roman, upset that I didn't get his number at least.

Virgil freaked out in the car, "why did we even come?! Its not like i miss him...why is his brother here too?!" I sighed.

"Well we didnt have to come for Remus. We could just stay because we are both gay. If we run into Roman and Remus....then we can have a chat and be on our way." I said slyly. I didnt think my dark companion knew that i had been, what some might call, flirting with Roman.

"Yeah, you'd looove to talk to my ex and his brother." Virgil rolled his eyes. "Yes, actually I would." He blushed slightly.

"Shit...did you hit it off with Roman? You realize he's the jock type...right? He's the kind of person who would beat you up in school." Virgil said as he groaned.

"And how would you know if he beat students up?" That made Virgil go quiet.

I sighed, "I see." He said softly. "I'm sorry. I will no longer bring up the matter." Virgil nodded slowly.

Later that day, we were decked out in our LGBT apparel, head to toe in rainbows. Although I looked ridiculous, I quite enjoyed the queer aesthetic. Pun intended.

I made my way out to see Virgil, who was trying to leave with his hoodie on, but I did not allow that to happen, knowing he would die of heat stroke.

I drove us to the parade, excited to see Roman, not really for the parade itself. I think my excitement showed a little too much, because not long after we parked and started our walk to the beach that held pride, Virgil gave me a concerned look, "Lo? You Okay? You're smiling. You never smile."

He was right, i never smile. What changed? Why was I smiling when I never smile? Roman. I was smiling because I saw Roman across the way.

~

I had gotten ready with Patton, my brother Remus, and his best friend Deen. We all decided on a very fem look, and by that i mean Deen bought us georgous skirts that I could never deny.

I took the dashing red and put it on with my rainbow checkered shirt tucked in. I decided to wear sandals instead of my pumps too, mostly because this was on a beach and there was going to be a lot of sand.

Patton wore the blue skirt and a baggy crop top, pulling it together with rainbow suspenders and tennis shoes.

Deen wore the yellow one with a black shirt that read, "move, I'm gay." On the back in rainbow as well as his converse.

Remus. The revolting creature...wore the green skirt, a rainbow dildo hat and no shirt, fishnet stockings and rainbow flip flops.

I tried to ignore him, i was on a mission to find him. Logan, i didnt know why I felt so...willing to just throw everything away for him but I did and i would if I had to.

Luckily...all I had to do was turn around. When I did I saw him there with Virgil, who had been glaring at me. He probably remembers high school now. It seemed that Logan had seen me, because he was walking towards me, he looked hesitant when my brother came up to me though.

"Remus, go away!"

"But I see Virgil, wanna go say hi?!"

"Not with you looking like that."

"Better this than what I had planned before this." He laughed, "one word, mankini!" He laughed more.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Logan, "hey...come here often?" I asked feeling like an idiot. He just gave a small smile, "oh yeah, all the time."

God he was adorable. He blue hair shining against the sun, he was covered in rainbows, deffinatly gay. Which meant I had a chance. We walked away from Remus and Virgil, which I felt bad about doing...poor guy was not ready for Remus's...quirks.

~

As soon as we left Virgil with Remus, per his request, i decided to try and flirt with Roman again. He was wearing a skirt that made my head spin and my heart pound in my chest.

"You look rather dashing." I said softly, looking over to him to see that he was blushing, it was adorable, and it was clear he was a bottom.

Then he said something that snapped me right out of my thoughts, "can I get your number?" It took me by surprise, but who was I to deny him his request? "Of course, handsome."

He hands me his phone, open on the contact page, although he did accidently switch it to his gallery that had a picture of Roman with his shirt pulled up, held in his mouth.

"Oh? I think I accidentally found something." I said with a smirk, i will admit it. He was hot. He looked at the phone and took it away quickly, "you weren't meant to see that!"

"If not me, then who?" I asked, i felt something new inside...jealousy. "Well no one really...its more for myself." He looked down with a blush.

"Well, maybe I can see all that in person soon." I said with a wink as I finally put my number in his phone. I knew I was being what Virgil would call 'smooth as fuck', was I using my ability to know what to say and when to say it to get me a date? Of course I was.

~

I started freaking out when he asked about the picture, I'm lucky he didn't decide to scroll. Although I do like how I look in these pictures, they weren't just for me...i sent them to my ex. I felt lonely, and he texted me...not that I would ever tell Logan that.

Anyway, after the photo fiasco, we walked around for a bit. We watched the drag show together and just had a fun time. It was clear he was flirting with me the whole time, and i flirted right back.

Remus had texted me asking if I was coming home tonight because Virgil wanted to come with, i decided I would make do with what I had. I was going home with Logan, if he would let me.

~

Not even a minute after Virgil texted me that he was going home with his ex, i had Roman against my car, his thighs around me. I was kissing his neck and lips, it was sloppy in the best way.

I had his shirt opened up so I could feel his skin, i was going to wait before I tore off his clothing, but it was hard.

We did manage to get to my house without killing the mood. Kissing and flinging clothes around as we made out way to my room.

~

He threw me onto the bed, crawling over me to reclaiming my lips, he tasted like cinnamon, sweet and intoxicating, i couldn't get enough.

He pulled at my skirt lightly enough to signal that he wanted to go underneath, before realizing he could just lift it up.

~

His moans were passionate and full of love, not lust. I realized afterwards that this was not going to be a one night stand like I had thought.

Later that morning I heard the door slam, realizing it was Virgil, i panicked slightly. Romans and I's clothes are all over the living room and I'm naked in bed with him, with my door wide open.

"I see you got princey." He groaned out. "Well, i guess it's not too bad, it's not like you're the only one." He said with a dark smile creeping on his face.

"Could you uh...bring our clothes in here? I forgot to grab those earlier. " I asked as I sat up, keeping the covers over most of me.

"Whatever specs." He called out as he went to grab our clothing, throwing it in my room and closing my door. I sighed happily as I look over at Roman, he looked so perfect, even after a night like the one we had. His hair was messy now and sweat covered his entire body.

I put a hand against his abs and laid back down, i was fit, but I didn't have rock hard abs like him. I didn't look perfect, even after bottoming for nearly an hour. I was nothing like him, i was a nerd, i was healthy for the sake of being healthy, i wore glasses, i was a serious person. He was perfect...and he still asked me for my number, he still let me take him home.

~

I woke up in his arms, his big strong arms. I was over heating a bit, but there was no way I would let this moment go. I rolled over to see him better. "Good morning sleeping beauty." He said before placing a kiss on my lips.

"Morning." I said in a breathy way. He was georgous, the sunlight hitting his face just right to make him look like a god. Although he was godly in bed.

He smiled at me before kissing me again. The cinnamon taste didn't leave his lips, they were still sweet. I placed my hand on his cheek pulling him slightly closer to me.

Suddenly there was a hand on my thigh, "are you asking for round two already?" I called out teasingly as I pulled away. He chuckled, "considering my roommate just keft for work, deffinatly." He kissed me again, trapping me from leaving, not that I wanted to though.

"One more time...and then I need to start going home." I said softly before kissing him needingly.

Within minutes, I'm a mess of moans and too much grabbing. It was clear I was trying to grab onto any part of Logan I physically could, and he loved it.

It took another hour to finish, and then nearly half an hour for us both to get dressed. That had more to do with him not wanting me to leave, pulling me into his lap, kissing my neck, at this point I thought I should just move in.

He kissed me, pulling me back into his house before I told him that I had to leave. He offered me a ride, i thought for a second. I decided one ride home wouldn't kill me.

~

I drove him home, kissing him at the door, normally I would let them leave in the morning, but there was something about him that was so dofferent than the others.

He was strong and confident, handsome and god knows I took it all in. He was the perfect human being. I didn't want this to just be a one time thing, so I texted him all night, and the next one...and all next week. For months we were texting, there were more pictures than words though, and occasionally he would ask me over, or ask to come over. Those were my favorite nights.

About 3 months into this, i decided I wanted more than sex. I wanted a relationship. I asked him over.

'Let me get ready and I'll be there in 10.' That was his text, sent with a wink.

'Actually. I would like to take you to dinner. Please wear something nice, i can pick you up, you can pick me up, or we can meet there if you would like to.'

30 minutes passed before I finally got an answer. ' Meet me there then. Sorry, my brother stole my phone.' I smiled and got ready, sending him the address.

We went to a fancy restaurant, he looked handsome in his nice black shirt and pants. His hair was in a messy on purpose look, still red. He sat down in front of me.

I wore a nice blue shirt and black pants, hair slicked back. "You clean up nicely." He teased up. I laughed nervously. At that point I realized that I loved him.

"Is there a reason you asked to meet at a restaurant instead of just your house? That's where your bed is." He said softly, i nodded.

"Roman, in the past few months, i believe I have fallen in love with you." His face lit up "Logan...i love you too." He said softly. "With that said...would you like to be my official boyfriend?" I asked in a near whisper.

"Oh my god yes I would!" He was trying not to tell, but I didn't mind. I was happy.

That night was celebrated with a few glasses of wine and two margaritas, as well as him coming home with me, the first time as my boyfriend.

Ask to be put on my general writing taglist!

[m4isofia]

The very last semester

I don’t know how many times I have typed for this post.Technically,I had finished composing the entry but accidentally deleted the tab without saving it to draft....but first let me tell you guys how much i have put myself in the past yesterday just to recall everything to make this post feels very nostalgic.I try my best to put myself in everyone’s shoes because I want everyone to know how much we struggled for spm last year.SPM year was one of the best years for me like I want to repeat all those times again without sitting for spm OF COURSE cus I swear it was tiring as heck.

Nonetheless,please excuse my grammar mistakes as I have barely write anythinh now so I kinda think that my writing skills is getting rusty.

I don’t remember the exact date we started our final semester but all I know is,we were struggling for trials.We kinda made our teachers proud for trial right? mrsm tpg was below us and I can’t help myself but to remember how proud cikgu masyitah was when we managed to get number satu for sejarah trials spmrsm! geng,we all were so happy ~ even though addmaths spmrsm reminds me of how stupid I was ~ zaman trial was tiring,it felt as if we were in endless battle.To be very honest,things started to get more serious after trials ended.A week before spm starts,we had our last class in the class sebab after that,we had gemilang almost everyday at surau and classes could not be used as the form4 students used them for igcse exam.Basically,surau was our second home/dorm.Imagine staying at surau the whole day?? we literally left our belongings and books all scattered in the surau sampai kena marah dengan ustazah :/ especially when we (form 5 girls) had our very own spot at the surau so i guess leaving all my stuff could be safe?? and i was so lazy to bring all the books to dorm after all nanti kena turun balik surau,so it’s just the same,the bad thing was,surau looked messy because of us hihi.

As I mentioned earlier,we had gemilang everyday at surau,even after gemilang habis pun,some of us would stay back and sambung study.That was how much we were scared to sit for spm.The pressure for spm was real,dengan the endless handouts for every freaking subject and most importantly,the 10 set handout sejarah ( I swear we all were stressing out because of this haha).When I said that this is an endless battle,yes it is,after habis trials pun i still keep reminding myself that the battle hasnt ended yet mai,hold on a little bit mai,this will be over soon.LIKE LITERALLY EVERYDAY.Countdown to spm was terrifying,to see how fast each day went by,dengan the mental breakdowns some of us had because of addmaths,everything went so fast.Sometimes I felt like i didnt want spm to start so that we can always study together at surau.

Even during riadah hour,girls in my batch started to turun awal surau,we sacrificed our golden hour to nap just to revise more and more.Even if it’s mrsm that we are talking about but that does not mean we are guaranteed to get straights A+,even most of us are the stuggling students that need to work our ass off barulah score.At surau,gelegam became more closer that I remember,gelegam is the girls in our batch,we called ourselves gelegam sebab the name of the whatsapp group is gelegam,so honestly I don’t know where that came from??anyway i still remember how chaotic the surau was when gelegam turun awal surau.Everyone was literally stretching up their muscles on the field while some of us rather studying in the surau.I remember when some would ask “sape tahu dinner apa”,,,,”weh cafe bukak tak sekarang”,,,,fuh i never thought i would come to the point that i would miss those kind of questions.The voices are always lingering on my mind to be honest.I remember how I nganjing nad almost everyday cus she’s gonna sambung study kat utp so i kept nganjing her everyday,our hakak utp :) hahaa see now nadirah is a freaking utp student! proud? yes i am.

During the spm month,the time was slowly arranging its pace but at the same time everything was so fast that I couldnt catch a breath.During those trying times,parents and teachers played a very important role.I am grateful to have teachers that endlessly motivating us despite all of our worries towards spm.Remember when unit sejarah,(cikgu masyitah + cikgu rohaya +cikgu azizan) pesan to us before we entered the hall for paper 3 sejarah,

“kamu bertarung untuk kertas tiga dalam dewan selama 3 jam,cikgu cikgu akan masak kenduri untuk kamu selama 3 jam,kamu mula je 3 jam tu nanti maka cikgu cikgu sejarah kamu pun akan mula memasak”

weh i literally heard cikgu masyitah’s voices in my head! hahaha,truth to be told we had no idea what’s the kenduri gonna be like,makan apa,minum apa.BUT,after we finished the freaking 3 hours,and bukak je pintu dewan,there were two long tables with bihun goreng + sirap ais on it.WE WERE ALL SHOUTINGGG AND CARI CIKGUUUU! wow that was the best times i ever had in mrsm pt *cries a river*.I would never forget the taste of the bihun goreng (anyway sumpah lapar after 3 hours in the hall),i would never forget how lega our sejarah teachers were sebab sejarah battle is over.Aaaa I miss.Anyway not to forget,cikgu masyitah was there for us since day 1 of spm! she was there right in front of the hall,bila dah nak start pun,tak kisah lah subject apa pun she was still gonna be there depan dewan tunggu kita beratur except for physics sebab cikgu balik kampung.Other than that guys,what’s funnier is,cikgu masyitah literally the only warden that woke us up during the toughest month yet especially bila hari takde exam! tahajjud semua entah ke mana haha,trust me bila ada gap spm tuu fuh heaven but stress at the same time cus the subject coming up usually makin susah.Cikgu masyitah would literally turn off our kipas dorm and on lampu besar!!!!!!! see how chaotic.

Two weeks ago,we eventually ended our battle geng.The long-awaited day has come.Pagi pagi lagi as usual takde selera nak makan.Group whatsapp batch has been filling up with spm 2019 stats,press conference kpm.Everyone was literally freaking out and excited sebab lama tak jumpa kan.Sekali jumpa,ha satu dewan bising.Truthfully,I will never fully prepare for result’s day.Bila dah masuk dewan,the place we all used to sit for spm ,is now the place for us to receive our spm result.Vermillion,congrats guys,congrats for the flying colours and uxpected result.We even made it to the news! One of the mrsm yang achieved gps below 2.00.That was incredible.Everyone was at their happiest time ambik result and I thank Allah for that.Some of us were hugging our teachers so tight because we managed to get A.Some of us were talking to cikgu about our batch ranking.We made it to top 5 guys! top 5 mrsm semalaysia,thats crazy sia.

Before I hit the sack,I really hope our path cross again someday and i can’t wait to see each of us become the woman and the man of our dreams.I hope everyone gets to pursue in the course that you guys have been dreaming for.I pray that we will have a stable life,financially stable,physically and mentally stable.Things that happened in maktab taught us a lot and I really hope we could bring the best out of it.All those things,would teach us in so many possible ways that we couldnt imagine.If you find yourself lost in the middle,please reach out to someone,remember what teacher naza said to us,pilih kawan yang baik baik,solat jaga,jaga diri.

I end my entry with a few pictures of my one and only batch,vermillion.

thank you,thank you vm fam,for these 5 years.

[cloudywithachanceofwatering]

Plance au where it hurt

I warned you . I really warned you .

Also , the ending is rushed . Sorry , my patience is low . I truly am a failure .

Edit : maybe it wont hurt so bad

Plaance god tier au where pidge and lance hooked up in the club and pidge got preggers . Unfortunately , the child died under mysterious circumstances during the third trimester . Lance had been with her the whole time , so he tried his best to comfort her even when she pushed him away .

The next year , lance left to pursue his career in the garrison in hopes to forget his pain . Pidge had left to recooperate , unsucessfully . She ended up avoiding meds and fell into anxiety and depression . They avoided each others interactions because they felt like they were the reason the child died .

The following year , lance and pidge had met in the same club again . This time , they were drunk enough to hook up again for real sad sex . A lot of tears and love , but in the end it was a one night stand . The next morning , lance left the motel without telling her . He didnt want to hurt her any more than he already did .

After realizing she was pregnant after a month , pidge hit the road with little to nothing . All she had was ten thousand dollars from stashing money for her baby , most of which her parents and brother had given. Pidge decided to get a cheap van from the scrapyard , got a liscence for the car , ditched everything she had inside and with her little driving skills , went off to somewhere she didnt know . All she really had was a driving liscence to prove her identity . She hid it away .

In the end , she only had a five thousand left . Yes , this was a time where everything wasnt real . This is a fic . Do not take things too seriously .

She literally disappeared overnight - nobody really knew where she went . All they had was a bought cheap van to go off on . How far couldve she went , people asked . Shes just a child , everyone said , unable to find her within a twenty mile radius the next day .

Pidge had driven for days , trying to get to the rural countryside as fast as possible . She found a little village after being lost for hours on end on a obscure forest path - and decided she was going to stay .

The villagers immediately noticed her van . Soon , a crowd formed and when she stepped out of the van , they crowded around her like scavengers looking for prey . They spoke in french , oddly enough - a mix of it . Italian , french , spanish was what she heard all at once .

A red hair girl put up her fist , silencing the villagers . " Hello , " she spoke in french . " Can i have a house ? " " No , " the red haired girl said . " The only house left are in the fields . It is dilapitated . " " Then can i have it ? " The villagers thought about it , buzzing even louder for a while . " Yes . We can help you fix it , " pidge heard from a few people at the front . It seemed to be agreed .

The villagers buzzed around for a bit , discussing their next move . Eventually , they asked a old lady to take her in while they went to look for items to fix up the house with . The red haired girl , with a thick french accent , told her in english : " We will help you . Come with her , she will feed you . "

And oddly enough , it felt like home . Their hospitality - it mustve come from a lack of visitors and her odd way of entering , their curiousity - but pidge was too tired and hungry to be cautious . It was the best human interaction she had for days . The red haired girl proceeded to bring out her items for two guys to take int othe home of the old woman .

The old woman , she was called " old rosa , " had no name . So she took in the name old rosa . She could speak english fluently , although she tripped over her words a bit . " My dear , come and eat , the villagers will help bring in your items . I suppose theyll make your van a bit more hospitable for you . " " Where are you from ? You speak english quite well , " pidge had asked . " Britain , my dear . Although i dont know where . But i do have a postcard with a picture - me and my parents . Everyone says it is a place in Britain , the english folks did . It was a baby me . But now , i cannot remember for the life of me where i am from , my name , my everything . The villagers , they took me in . Incredibly kind of them , " old rosa told pidge fondly .

" Why have you come ? " she had asked pidge . " Because i am pregnant , and to run away , because my relatives will speak to me unkindly if they knew , and i did not want to disappoint my parents and everyone around me again , " pidge sighed . She crossed her arms , unsure if she made a good decision or not telling her . Old rosa simply smiled , wrinkles becoming even more prominent . " I have a child myself - she has a baby boy . She can help you , if you want . The doctor is her husband . They can help you , but they might get a bit too excited about a new baby , " old rosa laughed . Pidge giggled , despairingly remembering what lance said about her giggles and laughs . How cute and bell-tinkly they were .

Oh , how she wished he was here to help her , but only the crevices of her mind said . She had long pushed him away , for the sake of her sanity . Her eyes welled up a bit nonetheless , and she gently thumbed over her stomach . That day , she had woke up alone and cold - perhaos it was for the best . At least you didnt pay for the motel room , a tiny thought sparked . It didnt help much , but a shimmer of hope tugged at her heart . Maybe she could pull through , with or without lance .

Old rosa present a bowl of rice and two poached eggs inside . " I really couldnt do much - i just wanted to make something quick for you my dear . Besides , the resources man hasnt arrived yet . On sunday he will , and on sunday we can go visit him for food . Yes , we are self-sufficient , but the doctor needs items . The resources man is very kind . He gives us what we need for free . I think the government set aside money for us - very kind of them . "

Pidge quickly came to realize her chatter as she ate . She smiled , breaking the poached egg and deciding to mix it with her rice . Old rosa just kept smiling , talking on and on about everything . It felt so nice - like her brother and mother fussing over every little thing that happened to pidge every day .

Another flicker of sadness - how lonely she was . If only she had her family , her lance - no , not her lance . He was just a little crush . That is all . But homesickness struck - how far away was she from her family ? It was selfish of her to leave .

The red haired girl came back in . She spoke in their mixed language - " The van , we tried to make it more homely , rearranged items but kept in sight . You do not have much , so we gave you some blankets and a mattress and pillows and clothes . "

Yes , this wasnt home , but pidge could deal with it .

As the year went by , pidge quickly upholstered her van-home into a much homier place . She made a few good friends . Connor , the fabrics person , he was incredibly kind and sweet , came over often to check on her and drown her in soft wools and cashmeres of all colours . He felt oddly motherlike , perhaps because of his feminine preferances . Old rosa became increasingly motherlike too , taking more and more care of her . The red haired girl , osara , she made sure pidge had priority to make sire the baby would be safe , along with her .

Old rosas daughter , maybellina [ yes , maybelline the makeup brand however you spelled it played a part in this ] , was very kind and loving , like her mother . Her husband , tom , made sure she had checkups every now and then , sometimes popping over randomly to check on her .

Sometimes she would visit connor - he had a huge old castle as a house , his family hadi t for generations . Although he was lonely as the only one , it was fine by him . They were walking up a whole lot of stairs to his sewing and looming room thing , when he had abruptly asked : " Pidge , i was wondering , do you know someone called katie holt ? You come from somewhere else , right ? I have told you before , i study at the garrison . Someone called katie holt , she had disappeared . I heard her parents , her brother and his boyfriend , they have been searching endlessly . They do not know where to find her anymore , " connor said . Oops , yikers ! Haha , no good . Thats all pidges mind provided before shutting off .

So she just stared at him blankly , before connor being the huge softie he is , started blushing and buried his face into her hair , murmuring something along the lines of " im too soft for this . "

And that , my friends , is how the start of something more than a friendship begin . Perhaps pidges mind shutting off helped .

_______________________________________

Lance had firstly , freaked out after pidge went missing and secondly , spent his weekends trying to find clues of her anywhere . So when connor , the nice guy [ actually nice ] asked him what he was doing in the middle of class , he decided to just spill the beans for the sake of his sanity and his already sad heart . " She used to go by the name of pidge . Pidge gunderson . Shes the fu-ing cutest girl youll ever see , " lance had ended . Yes , he self censored himself . Connor was still pure .

Oddly enough , connors eyes seem to be interest at the name of pidge . And even more weirder , he asked lance to be his teammate for this science project on fabric tendancies . The garrison is weird , dont question it . So connor invited him to his home , which worked out well cause all weekend lance just went pidge mode . And he decided to pry more cause he seemed to know a bit .

So that weekend , he saw a girl with long hair that vaguely looked like katie holt . " This is a pidge i know , " connor said . And oh fuck , it clicked in his head - connor's brain shut off after realizing what he did .

Pidge had changed - her hair became longer , more fluffy . Lighter coloured too , from spending time outside . And the most prominent change - she had a baby . With curly blonde hair . And blue eyes .

In lances mind , he couldnt fathom why he had ever decided to leave the motel room anymore . And neither did pidge .

_________________________________________

In the end , everything ended with a flurry of kisses and love , before night struck , and the next morning lance had left again . He had to go to school , which was logical of him . So she didnt put it against him , just helped him get ready and said bye at the door , albeit sadly .

_________________________________________

The years went by . Her little dilapitated house was finally put together . What little she had , pidge tried to make the best of it . She slept with her two children to keep them warm .

Yep , child uno numbero two . I dont know spanish , sorry . I am trying my best on duolingo , though .

Connor still checked up on her , lance still asked about her . He was like the middleman . Poor guy had a affinity for both of them .

One day , lance showed up randomly with a nice suit and a sexy , sleek black car . " Pidge , your parents . They are trying to pry anything about you from me and connors cold , dead hands . Just go back to them , please . Im sorry i didnt have the heart to come visit . "

For whatever reason , it sounded so halfhearted for both of them . Maybe because lance didnt want to make her leave her home and talk to her about it . And they both knew it .

Pidge , she felt hostile .

So she made sure her children never spoke to him if he came .

The next time , he tried to coax her to leave with him to go home . Not happening .

The third time , lance got hella pissed , and started packing up their things . " Lance , why are you doing this ? I dont want to go back . "

And lance softened . " Because i want to take care of you . I finally found you , finally get to see my children , and i finally have money to take care of my family . "

Pidge dragged him out . " Ill consider it . "

_______________________________________

The next time he visited , pidge was ready to leave . " Ive said my goodbyes , said ill come visit . Dont let me down . "

The first thing they did was pack up her items . Put it in her old refurbished van , and while pidge drove his car , and lance drove her old van .

They went to the village , said one last goodbye , and with heavy hearts left . But something inside of pidge lightened . She was finally going home .

__________________________________________

Osara , old rosa , maybellina , tom , connor , they all came to visit pidge and lance when they got married . Their children - samantha for the older curly blonde and girasol for the younger straight black haired - were the little bridesmaids . How cute .

When matt and shiro got married , everyone came back again to celebrate .

Years went by . The village finally got internet , so lance and pidge got the occasional call , and called here and there . Connor and pidge and lance were still as close and cutesy as ever . They visited the village , watched it grow and expand . Helped pidges old friends out . They dragged connor out of a abusive marriage that firstly , left him with seven children , and secondly , a lot of freedom .

And life was nice . Even though pidges family were heavy pissed , they got over it within minutes and only had love left . Even when times got rough with connor when his family was slowly falling apart because of his wife , he managed to kick her out . Very nice .

And a lot nice things happened that lead them to a nice little marriage again , with a epic threesome . Yay for me wanting fluff ! Yay for connor , poor guy !

Fin

__________________________________________

I warned you , the ending was rushed .

Heres the original draft [ read for loss of braincells ] :

DURING HIGH SCHOOL LANCE AND PIDGE DID THE DEED , PIDGE GOT PREGGERS , LANCE SAID BYE AND SO PIDGE ENDED UP MOVING TO A RURAL AREA CAUSE SHE WAS SCARED HER FAM WOULD FYCKING HATE HER DUMBASS SO SHE PACKS UP AND GETS MONEY FROM WHEREVER SHE KNOWS OF AND THEN SHE JUST TAKES A BUS RIDE FAR FAR AWAY SOMEWHERE SO SHE COULD SAVE MONRY AND BE SELF SUFFICIENT IN A RURAL SHITHOLE AND ALL SO SHE LIVES IN A SHITTY DILAPITATED COTTAGE WITH HER KID WITH VIRTUALLY NOTHING LILE LITERALLY NOTHING ALL THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ITS FROM DUMPSTERS IN THE CITY AND THERES ONE FUCKING MATTRESS IN THE ONE ROOM AND LIKE A TABLE WITH TWO CHAIRS THATS IT BUT PIDGE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO WEASEL MONEY INTO HER FAMILY AND ALL AND ONE DAY LANCEP ULLS UP YEARS AFTER IN A FANCY FUCKING CAR AND SAYS HEY SORRY SHES LIKE NO FUCK YOU BUT LANCE COMES BACK THE SECOND TIME AND PIDGES LIKE KID DONT COME OUT IF THUS CUNT COMES BUT EVENT7ALLY THE THIRD TIME HE WRANGLES HER INTO HIS CAR BY LITERALLY TAKING THEIR SHIT AND SAYING YOURE MOVING AND HE ASKS HER KID TO FOLLOW HIM AND THE DUMBASS KIDS LIKE UH MOM LOL OK SO THEN PIDGES LIEK WHAT THE FUCK AND HE FORCES THEM TO HIS HOUSE SO THEY CAN LIVE A BETTER LIFE AND HIS KID WONT BE FUCKING UNEDUCATED AND UNVAXXED AND EVERYTHING AND HE CAN ACTUALLY MAKE IT UP TO PIDGE AND THAT PIDGE CAN GO HOME TO HER FAMILY SO PIDGES LIKE WHY AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND ME AND LANCE JUST SAYS HE SPENT FUCKING YEARS GOING FULL ON SHERLOCK HOLMES TO FIND HER DEADASS SO BECAUSE HER KID LIKES LANCE SHES LIKE FUCK OK SO EVENTUALLY THEY KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE BAM END YAAAAS

HWEN I SAID GOD AU I MEANT IT THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR MO N T H A

ANYWAY ELABORATING ON KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE HE GETS THEM A EPIC NICE HOUSE AND NEW CLOTHES AND SHIT AND CHECKS ON PIDGE AND HER KID EVERY FIVE SECONDS TO MAKE SURE THEYRE OKAT AND HE PLAYS WITH PIDGES KID EVEN WHEN HE HAS LITERALLY NO TIME LIKE HES WEARING FANCY CLOTHES AND HAS A CONFERNECE AT 3PM BUT ITS 255 AND HES STILL PLAYING WITH HER KID NADP IDGE HAS TO FORCE HIS DUMBASD TO LEAVE AND DO THE MONRY MONEY SO PIDGES LIKE HEY KID DO YOU LIKE PLAYING WITH HIM HAHA HES YOUR FUCKING DAD AND SHES LIKE WOOOAAAHHHH CAUSE SHES A DUMBASS KID SO DUMB KID LOVES LANCE RVEN MORE AND PIDGES LIKE I TILD HER YOURE HER DAD OKAY ILL GO COOK POTATOES NOW AND LANCE IS HAPPY HAPPY SO AFTER THE HAPPY HAPPY LANCE GOES INTO THE GUEST ROOM TO TALK TO PISGE CAUSE THATS HER HOME NOW AND THEY JUST DECIDE TO PUT AWAY THEIR UNDERLYING ISSIES FOR THEIR KID AND BECAUSE SEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER THEY HAVE SEX AND WOW LOOK PIDGES PREGNANT AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE SO LANCE TAKES CARE OF PIDGE LEGIT NOW AND GETS PIDGE A FUTURE JOB AFTER SHES DONE WITH CHILD OUT AND ALL SO ITS ANOTHER DUMB KID WHOOPIE WOWOWOWOWWO WHO FUCKING KNEW SO NOW HER FIRST KIDS LIKE TWO YEARS OLD BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL KID THAT SHE AND LANCE FUCKED WAS DEAD YEAH IT DIED BUT SHE WENT TO A CLUB AND FUCKED DRUNK LANCE AGAIN AND LEFT OR SOMETHING GOD ONOWS WHAT HAPPENED CAUSE LANCE SURE AS HELL DOESNT SO NOW PIDGE IS LIKE OH MAYBE HE ISNT A SHITBAG AND LANCES LIKE HEY HOT MARRY ME AND SHES LIKE LOL OK SO THEY KISSED KISSED FALLED IN LOVED

[xxxxtaehyungxxxx0]

1-91

Kinky Questions

Idol verse

1:When did you lose your virginity? Back in high school

2: Rough sex or soft sex? whatever matches the mood/partner

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? Not really. Depends on what one might consider unusual.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? In a public bathroom

5: Favorite sex position? Doggy Style.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I like to match the style of my partner, then go from there. I am very versatile.

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? I suppose I have.

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? All three

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? Yep.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? No. Thank god.

11: What does your favorite sexy underwear look like? I don’t have any. Haha.

12: How often do you have sex? Not too often you know..

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? Sureeee.

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? Both.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? Taking too long to find a condom. 

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? Nine Inch Nails -Closer

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Robin Thicke- Lost Without You

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? Depends on what I’m dressed up as.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Probably shower so large heaps of bathwater doesn’t get all over the floor.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? Oh jeez. I’m gonna keep quiet on that one.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? Only if it was no strings attached afterwards...maybe.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? I do not currently, however there’s always the first time for everything.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? No. 

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? No.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) I eat and feel refreshed.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? Dominance. Whether that is me being dominant or my partner.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Both.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Boobs and ass.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Thighs and abs.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: I have nothing to hide.

31: Weirdest sexual act someone has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: Can’t think of one.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] Nope. I think I’m okay. Haha.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: ....sometimes it’s nice.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: chocolate.

35: Worst possible time to get horny: during a funeral

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Yep, very much.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping: Is too much a thing?? The limit does not exist.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: I’m very considerate during sex.

39: Favorite foreplay activities: Oral sex, nipple teasing, spanking...etc.

40: What do you wear to bed? In winter, flannel pajamas, in summer, my boxers.

41: When was the first time you masturbated: When I was 11

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? No.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? Yes, in my final year of high school.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? Yes.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? No.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? Just my hand, man.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Almost all porn is good porn.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) Yep. It feels good to get it and also to see the reactions of my partner.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Not opposed to them.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? Some people feel funny about it but...I would just try my best to make sure it’s not a scary first experience and that they were satisfied.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Mayonnaise?

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Porn star.

53: Do you watch porn? Yep.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Nope.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Sometimes.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? Well, I’m not going to lie. As long as it’s not overly messy, it shouldn’t be a problem.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? No.

58: Booty or Boobs? Both.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) No. Why? Because I’m not that type. I’m very much a faithful person.

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? I would play with my boobs, explore the lady parts, hope I don’t get a menstrual cycle that day, eat whatever I want, and try on pretty outfits.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Only on porn.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? Only for like a second.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? Nope.

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) Just a man and his hand. I’m also not gonna lie and say I’ve never tried a bit of fingers.

65. What is your bra/penis size? If you want to know so much, you can come find out.

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? Nothing weird.

67. When was the last time you masturbated? A while ago. I should do it soon.

68. When was the last time you had sex? Recently.

69. When was the last time you watched porn? Also a while ago. I need to get on the ball.

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? Nope. Not in a rush.

71. Guys:Circumsized? Yep.

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? My back.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? My dick? Haha.

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? n/a

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? Yep.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? Last week.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? Half the time I don’t remember my dreams. I just wake up and find a surprise.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? Sure.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Emilia Clarke or Doja Cat

80. Favorite sexual position? This was already asked, was it not?

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Depends on the person/situation.

82. Are you into any BDSM? Light BDSM. Nothing heavy.

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? Yeah. There are certain friends who I find sexually attractive but because I treasure our friendship so much, I won’t do it. 

84. Do you like dirty talk? Yep.

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? I’m more on the quiet side, I’d say. 

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? No. That would be the day...

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I could have sworn this was already asked as well...

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? In middle school, yeah.

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Yeah, sadly.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? Yep and Yep.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? Yeah. They are.

((I have based this questions off of my second AU verse for Taehyung! Thank you! And also, your patience is appreciated!))

Reply for @pxtech