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another-lost-mc · 6 months ago

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When MC Needs Surgery

Featuring: The Demon Brothers, the Dateables (most briefly/vaguely mentioned) + gn!Reader

Content/Warnings: Mentions of unspecified health problems, surgical procedures and medical devices. Relationships with the cast are intended to be platonic but may be interpreted as romantic in nature (friendship was the focus here rather than romance). Word count: 3.2k.

A/N: This is dedicated to surgery!anon who requested something for their upcoming surgery. Based on the vague details mentioned to me, I assumed there might be some overlap with my own experiences which is what this is loosely based on. I guess I wrote what I would've liked to have read before my own procedures. I hope this provides some comfort to you as well.

PRE-OP

Some of the demons might wonder why they can't just find some spell to fix what's wrong with you, because how tricky can human anatomy really be? But after Satan does some research and helps you explain to the others (in easy to understand terms while being sensitive of the private details you might not want to share), they realize that perhaps your medical care is best left to the professionals after all.

Lucifer, Diavolo and Barbatos handle the logistics of your care before and after your surgery. Details from your appointments with your medical team help them get a better idea of how long your recovery will be and where you should stay once you leave the human world hospital.

There is some disagreement about whether you should stay at the House of Lamentation or the Demon Lord's Castle. There are pros and cons about staying at the House of Lamentation.

Pros: all of the demon brothers are there to help you when you need assistance.

Cons: all of the demon brothers are there.

One of the concerns – and it's a reasonable one, if you ask anyone but the brothers themselves – is that they might be too demanding of your company in your condition or inconsiderate of your privacy, and possibly neglectful of your need to rest comfortably and quietly.

As the other alternative available to you, the Demon Lord's Castle has spacious rooms so that you'll be able to have everything you need. Your friends are welcome to come and go within reason, but their visitations will be limited to prevent you from being overwhelmed. Ultimately, the choice is left to you.

When you start attending your pre-op appointments, Lucifer goes with you if you don't ask one of the others to go in his place. He's one of the best choices despite his unfamiliarity with the medical ordeal you're about to go through. He quickly picks up on the details of your procedure and the types of support you'll need during your hospital stay and once you're discharged. He helps you prepare a list of questions and concerns for each appointment; the doctors and nurses can't brush your questions aside easily, not when Lucifer is there to ensure that the answers you're given meet his satisfaction.

Later on, Lucifer provides updates to his siblings and your other friends who are keeping tabs on these developments. It's best that they're all aware of what to expect and so that they can help you prepare for what's to come.

In the days leading up to your surgery, everyone does their best to ease your nerves but do a poor job of hiding their own anxieties. It doesn't really register as a real thing that's about to happen until you get notification that your surgery is only a couple days away, and suddenly it feels very, very real.

Lucifer prepares for your long-term absence from RAD and makes sure that any of your obligations – your clubs or student council duties or your part-time job – are dealt with. He buys anything and everything the doctors recommended for your recovery once you return home. If any modifications are required for your bedroom or private bathroom, he plans to have those completed during your hospital stay. (He's grateful your room is already on the first floor of the house, although he would've built one for you if he needed to.)

Mammon and Levi spend as much time with you as they can when they're not busy with other things they try to keep secret: Mammon's new job so he has extra money to buy you get-well presents (bigger and better than all his brothers) and the games and movies Levi has been ordering since he anticipates your recovery will be boring. What better way than to pass the time (hopefully with him?). Satan wanted to go to your appointments with you but he kept grumbling things like, if someone cuts you open, I'm going to cut them open. He's been focusing his efforts on researching which sorts of potions, elixirs or spells might help you recover faster and obtaining the materials he needs for them.

Asmo took you shopping (more than once) to pick up the items on your pre-op checklist of things to bring with you to the hospital: comfortable loose-fitting clothing, slippers, basic toiletries like your toothbrush. Everything he picked for you wouldn't fit in three overnight bags, let alone the single duffel bag you planned to take with you. He just put everything in your dresser and closet and insisted they'd be useful once you were discharged and allowed to come back home.

Beel was curious about your diet recommendations when you come home and he realized that the spicy Devildom foods you like are probably going to be too difficult for you to eat for the foreseeable future . He spoke to Lucifer and Barbatos about his concerns, and they plan to stock the fridge and pantry with all the recommended foods that would ease your recovery and reduce the risk of complications later. Beel took you out for dinner one evening, as a sort of last hurrah. He felt guilty that he didn't realize how serious this was and he admires you for being so brave about something he can't imagine going through himself. He offered to follow your post-surgery diet with you as a show of support because he doesn't want to be insensitive and eat all the delicious foods you won't be able to.

Belphie gets a bit irritated that his brothers take up so much of your time leading up to your surgery date. If you've been feeling tired or unwell leading up to your surgery, you put on a brave face for their sakes but he knows better. He can't take away your pain or discomfort, and he certainly can't fix you the way these human world doctors claim they can, but he can help you relax after a long day of appointments and preparations and pretending you're not as nervous as they all are. He can sense your anxiety rising as the date of your surgery draws near: you're not sleeping as well as you used to, tossing and turning into the late hours of the night and showing up to breakfast looking worse than you did the morning before. Fortunately, that's something he can help you with. He leads you to the attic to sleep and tries not dwell on how long it'll be before after your surgery when you'll be able to climb those steps again. He lulls you into a comfortable, dreamless sleep so that you can as much rest as possible leading up to the big day.

The evening before your surgery, the brothers are practically vibrating from nervousness. Everyone seems on edge and distracted. Asmo ruins his eye makeup from getting teary-eyed and he's especially clingy. Dinner is awkward when the brothers remember that you can't eat your regular diet anymore. You're limited to bland fluids in addition to the jug of prep you need to drink. You drink the powder mixed with ice-cold water and gulp it down – after the first pouch, you disappear into your bedroom. Eventually you come back and rinse and repeat, drinking and refilling that jug until its as empty as you are. (Beel was curious and drank a bit of it despite your warning that he probably shouldn't – his stomach made the strangest sounds the rest of the evening.)

When it's time for bed, you expect to collapse onto your mattress and toss and turn until your early-morning alarm goes off. What you don't expect is for Lucifer and his brothers to lead to you his room with the giant bed that happens to be big enough for all of them. The mood feels somber and you can tell they're as nervous as you are – even Cerberus spends the night in Lucifer's room, lifting his heads up once in a while to check on you while he keeps guard at the foot of the bed. It's the Devildom's most awkward cuddle pile, but eventually you fall asleep surrounded by seven very worried demons who can't manage to sleep themselves.

THE HOSPITAL

Your alarm goes off early that morning – far too early for your liking, but you're eager to get this entire thing over with. Most of the brothers are already awake and finalizing preparations to accompany you to the hospital. You have time for a quick shower and toss on a comfortable shirt, sweatpants and slip-on shoes – you don't need to look good where you're going, and you won't be wearing these clothes for very long.

The others arrive so Barbatos can summon a portal for everyone to take. Despite your many reminders, everyone insists they want to come and support you, including your friends from Purgatory Hall and Diavolo himself.

(What you suspect but don't know for certain is that Diavolo arranged for your care in the human world hospital you'll be staying at. There were concerns about visitor limits and securing the largest and best private room for your recovery, but a generous donation from the Hotel Corvo corporation helped ease some of those administrative hurdles.)

You're only allowed one support person to accompany you to the surgical unit, so the others grab coffee and pre-packaged muffins and slowly make their way down to the waiting area. Lucifer – or whoever you asked to accompany you instead – sits with you while you wait for your name to be called.

Time passes in a blur. You put on a starchy hospital gown and housecoat while you tuck your belongings into a plastic bag and carry it with you. The nurses direct you to a chair and go over the standard medical questions you've answered a million times before. You look away when the IV goes in, and on the other side of you, warm fingers squeeze your hand.

You're tired and nervous and there are too many thoughts racing through your mind, but you sit in silence while the clock ticks down. You shuffle awkwardly down a sterile hall with too-bright lights when it's finally time, and you hope the smile you shoot over your shoulder at your companion is convincing. (It's as unsteady as you both feel when you disappear with the nurse who leads you to the operating room.)

Maybe it's the exhaustion or the empty, upset stomach distracting you while you sit on a table and ignore the cool fingers and pinching sensation in your back while they prepare the epidural because you barely feel it. You lay on a narrow table with a blood pressure cuff on one arm and your IV in another, and when the medications quickly pull you into a dreamless sleep, you feel a last-minute sense of comfort knowing that your friends are waiting close by and they won't let anything bad happen to you.

While you're in the OR, your friends make themselves comfortable in the visitor's lounge and they wait for news. Four hours, six hours, eight hours later – none of them want to leave until they can see you're alive and well with their own eyes. You warned them all it would be a long and boring day and they insisted they wanted to come no matter what.

Some of them fidget in their seats and pace when their nerves get the best of them. Levi's handheld beeps and the buttons click noisily as he plays his game, and Satan tries to focus on a paperback he picked up in the gift shop. Mammon spends way too much money buying Nevada tickets from a vendor in the hospital lobby (“It's for charity, ain't it?!”) and rubs it in Lucifer's face when he actually wins something. Asmo frets with embarrassment when he sees the SCENT-RESTRICTED FACILITY poster on the wall and covers the scent of his expensive fragrance with a dampening charm to avoid upsetting the staff (and makes note to skip the heavily-scented body products for future visits). Belphie accompanies Beel to sample the cafeteria's food, multiple times.

Throughout the day, small groups take turns leaving the waiting room to grab fresh cups of coffee or sandwiches to snack on. Diavolo and Barbatos confirm with the hospital staff that your private room is ready with the special amenities they requested for you, including a cot that an overnight guest can sleep on. You chose your preferred companion in advance, and none of the others dared voice their petty disappointment that they weren't chosen instead. What matters most is that one of them is with you at all times to assist you in your weakened state (they called it protecting you, but you tried to reassure them without success that they were being too dramatic). The others are free to visit as much as they like, as long as you're comfortable with it of course.

It feels like eternity before news reaches your friends as your surgery ends, and then another update a couple hours later when you're moved from PACU to your hospital room. The nurses have already gotten you settled into your accommodations by the time the first visitors hesitantly step inside to see you. Despite the preparations and expectations and warnings, they're still not prepared for the machine humming and beeping at your side as it pumps various medications through your IV. There's a remote looped around the bed by your arm that lets you administer more pain medication through your epidural.

It's gotten late and the surgical ward is quiet except for the ambient sounds of nurses chatting quietly at their station or other machines beeping in nearby rooms. Against the standard-issue hospital linens and the thin gown you wear, you look more vulnerable than they've ever seen you, their perfectly imperfect human who’s gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Perhaps it's a good thing that you're overcome with exhaustion and only have fleeting memories of your friends' worried faces when they each came to see you before bidding you goodnight with a promise to come back in the morning. Some struggle to contain their emotions more than others, and there's a collective understanding between all of them that perhaps they've taken you for granted because they never want to see you like this again – not if they can prevent it.

Your nighttime companion sits at your bedside most of the night and watches over you in case you show signs of discomfort or pain. They pull the cord to alert the nurses when you wake up queasy and you request something for your upset stomach with your scratchy voice and dry throat. You can't eat or drink yet, but the nurse leaves a small plastic cup of ice chips at your bedside – it's enough to remove the cottony feeling from your tongue and throat, and you can sleep once more.

Your demon friends aren't familiar with modern medicine and none of them know what the bags of fluids hanging next to your bed are. RINGERS scrolls across the screen of the IV pump but it’s anyone’s guess what it means. All they know is that it seems to be important as it’s one of the last medications you stop taking before your IV is eventually removed. Tonight and throughout the days that will soon follow, the machine beeps loudly – and often – when the bag runs dry. They remember which button to hit to turn off the awful alarm so that the disturbance doesn't wake you while they wait for a nurse to come with a replacement.

RECOVERY

The first few days are some of the most challenging, but all of your friends are there to support you as much as they can. At least one of them is present when the surgeon and his residents make their early morning rounds. You can't bear to look at the staples and incisions hidden under the thick dressings that cover a large part of your lower belly, but the surgeon and nurses all claim that things look fantastic. You can't help but snort at the odd feedback, and Asmo reminds you that there's plenty of creams that can help with minimizing those scars later, if you want them. (He prefers you exactly the way you are, scars and all, but he keeps his opinion on that subject to himself.)

Your post-surgery diet is severely restricted until you're able to tolerate basic fluids again, and solid foods are introduced slowly too. Beel reads over your daily menu selection and glares at the abysmal tray of hospital food that is delivered to your room. He tastes some of the dishes and wonders how they can make something as simple as broth or cream of wheat so unappealing. Barbatos sips the lukewarm mug of tea on your tray that you ignore with each meal; you warn him that it's not good, and the pain in your stomach is worth it when you shake with laughter at the offended grimace that sours his expression. He promises to bring you drinkable tea from now on, and he and Beel both bring acceptable alternatives to your hospital fare in accordance with your current meal plan.

One of the most challenging things you didn't expect – and it catches your friends off-guard too – is how difficult it is to get up and walking again. After a few days in bed with the epidural numbing you to the worst of the pain and being mostly stationary aside from some breathing exercises, it's time to get up and take the literal first step towards your journey home.

Your friends scoff at the idea of a physiotherapist coming to help you, until they hear the first cry of pain when you sit up on the edge of the bed and breathe heavily like it's the most ardious feat you've ever accomplished. It's another reminder that this was a tremendous thing for your delicate human body to go through, and even though they can't just take away your pain or fix things magically (no matter how much some of them might want to), they'll do what they can to help.

They don't tease you when they slip your shoes onto your feet, and they don't stare or ask about the various bags of fluids hanging from the IV pole you lean on for support while you shuffle your way around the ward one lap at a time. They match your pace and are ready in a moment's notice to support you if you lose your balance, and as soon as they sense you're pushing yourself just a little too hard, they help you back into bed where you fall asleep not long after.

Things carry on that way until the surgeon announces tentative plans for your release. By now, you're bored out of your mind and eager to be anywhere but in that bloody hospital room. Your friends are eager to have you home again, and the air is charged with excitement for the first time since your surgery. Everything you need for your recovery at the House of Lamentation – medications and supplies and your diet plan and anything else you could possibly need – are ready for you.

On the day you're finally discharged, they help scan your room to make sure all of your personal items have been packed away for the trip home. One of them carries your duffel bag for you while a couple others carry boxes filled with the numerous gifts, cards, and vases of flowers that filled nearly every available space of your room. (The human world flowers have started to wilt, but the arrangements from the Devildom and the Celestial Realm, including the bouquet you received one day with a note signed only with “M”, are still blooming flawlessly as ever.)

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echantedtoon · 6 months ago

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YANDERE DEMONS AND BRIDES

Been thinking about this for a while now and I don't know if it counts as yandere but it is how the demons take a bride (or husband for the lady demons unless you also want to imagine that it's a lady.)Yeah. I know old trope but I really like this trope and I wanted to make headcannons for the Upper Moons. I think they'd all have a certain main element fueling that desire for their specific Bride(or Groom for the ladies).

When it comes to the lady demons like Nakime I'll leave Y/n's gender up in the air for anyone to interpret if the ladies also get a wife or if you prefer them to get a husband.

Warnings for yandere-ish (???) themes, kidnapping mentions, possibly death mentioned, mentioned wounds and scars, mentioned illness, mentioned bad vision, etc.

If any of these warnings upset you pls don't read. I will be including Daki/Ume in the line up as part of Gyutaro's part but she will be strictly PLATONIC yandere!! Absolutely NO romance between her and reader!! And her parts will be minor.

KOKUSHIBO:

HARBORMENT

-You have to be a very specific kind of person to attract this man's attention. I think it'd most likely be one of two things that guarantee his bold interest. 1. you are a reincarnation of his wife or 2. you remind him of someone he used to love long ago but never could have especially if you were close to/was with Yoriichi. But whatever the case he finds himself taken by your familiar being.

-He doesn't even know why he bothers with it. But he can't help but watch you from afar. The old feelings resurfacing. He tells himself that it doesn't matter anymore. Most likely you wouldn't remember him even if you were a past lover, and even if you did you'd most likely believe him dead by now or want nothing to do with him.

-He is perfectly content with just watching you live out your life. He's learnt so much about you through just secretly watching. He learns your favorite tea, you love long walks at morning, you work just around the corner at a tailor shop.

-He's content until it no longer becomes enough. He starts to wonder. Do you still smile the way you used to? Do you still wear the same sweet perfume you did back then? He walks into your work one day in disguise. You weren't there being so late, but he ends up buying a Jacket you personally tailored.

-Muzan definitely knows about you. He knew the exact moment Kokushibo saw you. He just doesn't care and sorta lets Kokushibo get away with it being his most loyal demon. He doesn't allow his obsession to interfere with his missions and in turn Muzan is idgaf.

-He is a very traditional man and believes in courting a woman before marriage. In his mind you both are still married/together, he just needs to make you aware of it again. So he starts leaving small gifts for you when you're not around.

-At first you're confused but you think it's just a harmlessly sweet gesture from a secret crush. A few flowers on your doorstep every other night, maybe a small gift of a necklace or hair pin, however your quickly get freaked out when the gifts get TOO personal.

-You came to work one day and was freaked out when your boss handed you a decorative vase an 'admirer' left you for you after he overheard you mentioning it. (You only ever mentioned it once to you boss in private with no one else around.) Your boss is also slightly confused since they also hadn't mentioned that to anyone.

-You freak out more than ever when you come home and find a pair of wedding rings and a shiromuku(wedding kimono) laid out perfectly on your bed.

-Kokushibo sees nothing wrong with his behavior. As in his mind you both are still together, you are still his woman, and he's going to reclaim what is his own. This is just letting you know what he expects. He can't comprehend you'd be against this.

-He's not allowing you to go, especially after he lost you last time to his brother's affections. Whether these affections were platonic friendship or romantic lovers is up to you, but his internalized inferiority, jealousy, obsession, and greed won't allow him to let you go.

-You shriek when you first see him reveal himself. He doesn't understand why you're reacting like this. Don't you recognize your husband? You can't get away. He's holding you to him in an embrace as you freak out.

"Death may have stolen you from me..but I will deny the reaper of his claim to you once again."

DOUMA:

EMOTIONS

-Again you have to be very specific for these men to even consider taking you as a bride. For Douma, it'd be because of the way you make him actually feel things.

-However this ends up happening or when it does is entirely a thing all of its own but for the sake of not making this a mountain of a post, we'll leave that part up to whatever you interpret for now.

-The problem is that he has legit NO idea of what he's even feeling. He's never felt adoration, anger, happiness, etc so how is he supposed to know what this fluttery strange feeling in his chest is?

-So for a long while even he's not aware of his growing obsession with you. He just knows these feelings are not bad. He knows these feelings are coming from you. So somehow he deduced that you are the problem for his new predicaments.

-For this reason he has you looked over by the cults resident healer in case you're using some kind of sickness or chemistry stuff on him. Gets more confused when you are perfectly fine. Nevermind that demons couldn't get sick.

-You become weirded out by how clingy and stalkerish he's suddenly become overnight. He's not even aware he's doing it and if he is he doesn't care really. He just knows you're the cause of the fuzzy warmth in his chest and he's starting to like it.

-The only chance for you to escape is now while he's still confused on what he's feeling. Afterwards it's too late.

-EVERYONE notices his behavior and there's a mixed reaction to it all. Some congratulate you which you're so confused on and some express their happiness to their founder. Douma is just even more confused at it all. Eventually someone notices his confusion and asks him about it, then proceeds to explain what's he's feeling because he's not so sure himself.

-This revolution is mind blowing to him. He's literally the shocked Pikachu meme.

-In his mind as he thinks about it, technically he's been already courting you for nearly a year now. Showering you in affection and gifts and treating you like the goddess you were. So the next logical step would be marriage and that thought actually has him giddy at the thought of you in a shiromuku.

-You've been giving him subtle hints that you're uncomfortable the entire time but he either flat out ignores it or it just flies over his head.

-He randomly wakes you up in the middle of the night and asks if you're not busy the next day.

You blink at the shadowy creepily happy smiling figure too tired to comprehend the gravity of the situation. "I think?"

"Alright." He's silent for a moment. "I made us an appointment with a local priest."

You mumble a nothing response, still on the brink of sleep.

"Just remember to take the day off," he presses. "Hello? Are you there?"

"Uh huh." Your eyes won't even stay open.

"It's settled then. We'll get married tomorrow." He claps happily as he makes his leave. "Go back to sleep now, Lotus blossom."

He leaves and you breathe a sigh of relief as you snuggle into your bed again-

You jolt up. Did he say married?

AKAZA:

FAMILIARITY

-Akaza has never, has not, and never will harm a woman. He himself is unsure of his past where this stems from but he feels a familiarity to something deep but distant when he first meets you.

-You either are dealing with a similar illness Koyuki experienced, or you're a demon slayer whom had to retire due to injuries. Let's go with the second option for this one.

-Akaza had randomly heard recently that a demon slayer had to retire and was currently in the area he was in. He's always looking for a good fight so it's not a no brainer he'd seek you out. What he doesn't know was that this particular retired slayer was a woman. He doesn't realize this even when he first sees you until you horrified and scared seeing a demon in your home confirms that you are indeed the person he's looking for.

-Akaza is shocked. Not at the fact that there's a lady slayer (he's seen plenty of strong lady slayers) but at how you look. He's never seen a woman covered in so many wounds and scars even amongst other slayers. He's so stunned he asks you about it. You're more confused on why he doesn't outright end you, but you answer his question to avoid provoking him. An entire gang of demons has ganged up on you and if it weren't for a Haishira you'd be dead. However your current state left you unable to continue.

-He's angry. About a lot of things. How dare those lowlifes! HE'S obviously not gonna be getting a fight here. There's no way to release this anger- You're stunned as the angry demon just leaves without another word, but he takes it out on some rocks some miles away.

-Akaza ends up swinging by much to your growing horror and worry. He never comes close or makes threatening actions towards you, but you've seen him multiple times staring into your window or you'd see him in the distance barely visible through the darkness. It always freaks you out.

-Akaza doesn't mean to scare you, he just can't help but be curious about you. He finds himself thinking about you and your poor condition a lot. For some reason it pangs his heart seeing you limp about knowing it's permanent to your walking pattern or get angry when he sees people stare at you funny. He even ended a man who insulted your beauty by calling your battle scars unattractive not that you had any idea. He just..feels an odd need to give you care. It feels so... familiar. Second nature.

-He's just so entranced by you. Your smile, your gently nature, your kindness- Despite your losses and bad treatment you still treat everyone so gently. It makes his heart race with something so familiar yet so foreign.

-Reality shatters for him when he hears of your arranged marriage. After returning you had to move back with family who were all horrified to your condition. Their logic was that you needed to get married like a sensible woman and you should be grateful someone was willing to put up with you as a wife.

-In Akaza's view no one would ever treat you like you deserved. He knew he could care for you like he did for-... Someone that makes his head fog. HE CAN'T LET HIM TAINT HER SMILE. If you needed a husband to provide for you then he's happy to step in. Don't be surprised when you wake up to him carrying you out the window.

"Anything that is gold is often buried beneath where everyone's minds skim over without a second thought. You won't have your gold tainted to rust by another."

GYUTARO(+PLATONIC UME/DAKI):

EQUALITY

-Let's be fair. Gyutaro (and Ume/Daki) were never treated as an equal. He was always treated like a piece of garbage (and Ume a pretty doll) so he's gotten used to the fact that he's just destined for that.

-So he's surprised when his sister just starts yapping about another girl in her workplace. It's not out of the ordinary for her to talk about other girls mostly complaining about them or demanding he do something about it. But he's surprised that she's not complaining but gushing about how she made a friend....What?

-Gyutaro.wav is confused af

-She proceeds to proudly gush to her brother about how this girl 'actually knows her place' and 'knows how beautiful Daki is without even needing to know her.'

-Gyutaro.exe is VERY confused af

-She notices his blank stare and scoffs in annoyance. "She's visually impaired you dolt! Honestly it wouldn't be much of a difference if she was actually blind." Oh. Well now he's less confused. Turns out you're new to the house Daki is currently working in and she had originally planned on eating you outta jealousy, however changed her mind when you complimented her voice.

-Daki.wav is now confused. She was used to being complimented on everything from her beauty to her hair to her walking even but her voice? It was then she learnt you weren't blind but you might as well be with how bad your vision actually was seeing everything in colorful blurs. This confuses her. Confused her enough to spare you that night and instead you both just sorta awkwardly talked casually. You politely asked her what it was like to be a famous oiran and if she had any tips for make up as you couldn't see well enough to tell if yours was good.

-You had spoken to her without fear, or condensending, or even any flat out adoration. It was just as if she was another person on the street and not a cannibalistic monster. Honestly it was ..nice. Hella confusing but actually nice for once being treated like another. She decides she will not eat you. After all it wouldn't harm anyone if you couldn't see the red flags in front of you, and you believe her anyways when she said she's beautiful.

-She decides you are her default friend and you now listen to all her problems and tantrums whenever she wants. You gently listen awkwardly sometimes with a frown after you hear she had punished another worker. However there's very little people here nice to you and her reputation alone has kept troublemakers away from you so you decide her friendship is worth more than the cons of not having it.

-She's very territorial over her one friendship. Almost toxically so. If you want something you had BETTER get it within the day or there's hell to pay! If there's a customer you don't particularly like he had BETTER find another girl. No is not an option. Even the house master is scared of her so all complies.

-Gyutaro has legit no idea of what to think of this but his logic is whatever his precious baby sister wants she gets so if you make her happy being her friend then he'll leave you alone and leave her too it. He hasn't met you yet tho. Most of the time he's either out hunting or asleep dormant in Daki's body. Sometimes he heard you two talking but tuned it out as it was mostly boring or his sister complaining to you again. You two completely meet by accident.

-One day he came back from hunting, the two had to split as it'd look suspicious if she suddenly disappeared, so as usual he went to go clean up the mess. The two were just talking when the door suddenly opens and they both freeze as you stand there smiling. Turns out you had just come to say good night to Daki and didn't even see the demon in front of you. However you are barely able to make out a second blurry figure in the darkness. It prompts you to apologize for interrupting her and her customer to which both relax from their tense posture remembering you couldn't actually tell there was a six foot something demon in front of you.

-Daki is prompted to scoff and explain that it wasn't a customer but her brother visiting. In turn Gyutaro is stunned as you genuinely smile his way and greet him like he was another friend. It quickly becomes awkward as he just stares. His brain can't compute a girl(a pretty girl at that) was smiling and talking to him normally. He answers in grunts and quickly leaves the awkward scene.

-Is later shocked weeks later when his sister informs him that you sometimes ask her how her brother is doing. He's not used to having anyone think of him so nicely even as a second thought. The way he reacts gives Daki the idea of making her brother come out to again meet you. (She forces him out and doesn't let him merge until he meets you again.) He's shocked at how you still genuinely are kind to him offering him tea and asking if he'd like to hear you play the shamisen.

-Man becomes fastly smitten by you. With so much touch starvation and affection denial he has it was inevitable. You suspect he might like you by the stutters of his floundering voice but out of respect to your friend you remain casual and never bring it up to either of them when they visit you.

-You've got two demons utterly obsessed with you for both two different reasons. Daki is unwilling to lose her only friend. In her mind NO ONE is allowed to be friends with you! She's the best! So she's your best and only friend! She's very possessive over things she sees as hers and you're no exception. She even was jealous of Gyutaro's affections for you at first but quickly realized it would be easier to share her big brother with you. They share practically everything else anyways. She still gets annoyed when he takes your attention for too long tho. You were her friend first!

-Gyutaro is obsessed with the way you treat him. The way you don't back away from him when he gets close. The way you smile at him. The way you don't treat him like the scum of the earth. He's a very possessive man, even more than his sister. Any visiting customers you have are never seen again. Any present or past he finds out about are quickly taken as his dinner for daring to touch what's his.

-If he doesn't get them then Daki will. She eliminates any threat within the house. Any servant who stares at you with disdain or someone who gets too friendly is swiftly delt with.

-You're hella confused when the house master says he is cursed with many runaway workers.

-Both absolutely FREAK when they return to the house and You're not there anymore. Daki realizes this first when she goes to see you and finds you GONE! All of your belongings are gone and your room is empty. Practically tears the house apart looking for you and calling your name. Her panic wakes up her brother concerned she's in danger but also freaks out when she informs him you're GONE! She goes to the house master after not finding you anywhere else and DEMANDS they tell her where you are with murder in her eyes.

-Turns out a man had bought your marriage contract after watching a show of yours playing the shamisen and singing. You were relieved to be leaving and had left with him after waiting for an hour to say goodbye but your friend never showed up.

-Both are HORRIFIED and ENRAGED!

-Daki ends the house master in a rage as her brother appears. It's not too hard to find you being lead by your soon-to-be husband leading you towards the train station. Had they been ten minutes late then you would've been completely out of the E-District.

-Instead you're quickly absorbed into Daki's belt as her brother violently rips the man apart in a blind rage. You aren't going to leave your best friend behind and he wasn't going to let another man have your hand.

"I'm your friend! Don't you get that?!"

"I'll cut down anyone who tries to hurt my precious sister or take you from me. You're mine."

KAIGAKU:

GREED

-This man and Kokushibo are similar. Both have inferiority issues against younger brothers(Ik technically Zenitsu n him aren't brothers but bare with me) being better than them in swordsmanship one way or another. With Yoriichi and Kokushibo it was more complicated. Between Kaigaku and Zenitsu it was that ONE Thunder Breathing technique he never conquered.

-His inferiority and greed has caused him to make so many bad decisions (if you've read the manga or read his wiki then you know what I mean). He's not one to want to be out done even if he has to resort to underhanded tactics.

-You both met when he was still human and training under Master Jigoro. You were a simple healer often just helping patch him and Zenitsu up after training. He's annoyed and often doesn't give you a second thought that is until Zenitsu starts running his mouth obviously. He asks you to marry him ten minutes after you both just met.

-Kaigaku has known you for a few years longer than Zenitsu because he's older and came to train here before Zenitsu but you both have never been close before. He's short with you when you talk otherwise he's usually quiet. You talk to him anyways even if he never answers back. You're used to it.

-He hates how you just patiently laugh off any and all attempts Zenitsu makes to you. Why are you tolerating that idiot?!(Nevermind you also tolerate him and his stupid attitude.) He gets jealous of your interactions and how Zenitsu is just finding over you before he meets Nezuko. He barely sees you after his final selection and becoming a slayer but his furious mind boils over at the thought of you spending more time ALONE with Zenitsu before he too goes to his Final selection.

-With both Zenitsu and Kaigaku gone, and Jigoro insisting he can take care of himself, you're reassigned to a different residence where multiple slayers pass through. Ironically it's where Kaigaku is. All good and bad feelings punch him at once seeing your smiling face again as you stitch up his most recent wound.

-He likes you so much and how you treat him, but he's internally enraged when you share that kindness with anyone outside of him. Hearing you speaking to him about Zenitsu and your other patients only enrages that boiling point. However it only reaches that point when you inform the ever silent man about your own slayer fiance you met through your patients.

-You're sad when one day Kaigaku stops showing up for a long while. News of his betrayal and Jigoro's death really hadn't reached a lot of people with all the Haishira and slayers training for the final fight in the Infinity Castle. Your slayer fiance included.

-You do however receive news of your fiance's mysterious gruesome death at the hands of a demon. You're more heartbroken when you also hear of Jigoro's death. Devastated and crying your heart out over your loss. However those sobs turn to screams when you're face to face with blackened eyes of death as a sinister smile.

"What are you crying for? It's his own fault."

NAKIME:

SHARED INTEREST

-(Ok. Bare with me. Ive never written for her before and even researching her backstory this is probably not going to be very long and ooc. Take as platonic or romantic.) Let me start by saying that she does not get out much. Like at all. So you two really don't meet face to face.

-She discovers you by accident when she opened a door in a busy street and happened to see you sitting on the side of the road also playing a biwa for money.

-She hasn't seen another fellow biwa player for a while and decided to keep the doorway open for a while to listen.

-You are not very good with the biwa. Your playing isn't bad it's just not the best. Nakime knows this but considering she's never met another person or heard another instrument for a long time she can't help but get interested. Learns quickly that you are a lot better playing the shamisen than the biwa and always opens a small window or doorway on nights she knows you're gonna be sitting on your corner playing.

-She starts to think about teaching you how to play the biwa and doing a duet as you play your shamisen next to her biwa. Starts to really like the idea of permanently having your company in the castle.

-She doesn't really abduct you until after a show a drunk patron steals your instrument and smashes it on the ground laughing at your crying face.

-A loud strum of a biwa is heard as both you AND the drunk man is teleported. You're shocked to suddenly find yourself on a platform with a woman sitting right across from you. The drunk man was also teleported. She teleported him to where she knew a gang of newly turned hungry demons were.

"Apologies for the sudden introductions however it seems you need a change of residence."

GYOKKO:

CREATIVITY

-(I don't like him too much but ik there's a lot of people who do and can't find content for him same as those who like Nakime so I'll include him too for all you Gyokko fans.) Mans is a baby. Very sensitive to his projects being insulted even if they deserve to be called that, most either are 'too dumb to notice his great skills' or always insult him. When in reality his art is so gruesome that people can't help but he horrified by it or insult him. The only one who seems to get him is Douma which is why he gifted him the pot but they aren't really friends.

-He meets you by complete accident. He was out too late and ended up deciding to hide in a pottery worker's shop. He likes to sneak around and spy on other artists anyways. His pot was sun proof and all he had to do was duck inside and wait until night again. However he wasn't counting on being bought.

-You had come in looking for a new vase to decorate your table after your old one accidentally broke. You happened to spot Gyokko's and completely fell in love with how pretty it was! The purest white you've ever seen with beautifully perfectly painted flowers and leafy vines. The pottery worker doesn't even remember making this piece but a paying customer was a paying customer so he sold you Gyokko's vase.

-Gyokko is absolutely offended by the pottery worker claiming his vase as his own and plans to end him later...But he also is very intrigued by the bold compliments you gave so he decides not to end you yet.

-When night comes he sneaks out to find quite a sight. Turns out you are also an artist sorta. You make custom jewelry and clothing for people, and baskets on the side. He's intrigued and extends his body around to look closely at all of the fabrics laid about, and written patterns, and little pieces of jewels ready to be put together for a simple but pretty piece to wear.

-He ends up going from the back of your shop to the front finding a lot of finished pieces of yours displayed and ready for sale. He's very intrigued by the kimonos. All of the patterns are individually sewn on. Cherry blossoms, storks, flowers- All are sewn on thread after thread by hand. It's like a canvas but made of fabric with thread as the paint. He's seen a LOT of kimonos but the attention to detail and precision to the likeness of the real thing was truly remarkable. For a woman.

-He decides since you really hadn't been a nuisance and complimented his work then he'll not end you for taking his pot. Instead of taking his pot with him, he leaves it and teleports to a different pot that way he can still sneak into your home without a problem.

-This goes on for two years. He'll pop in every so while when you sleep and look around for an hour or two before leaving. There was always different dresses displayed with different beautiful scenes sewed into them or he'd see one you were working on on your workshop bench. The needle paused in sewing the stripes of a tiger or the veins of a leaf.

-One day he comes back but hides in the pot because you're working late and tending to a customer who needed a dress for a ceremony. As you both talk the customer compliments 'your pot' and asks why you never put flowers in it. You answer- "I don't want to damage it by filling it with water or having rose thorns scratch it's inside. Besides it's beautiful enough by itself."

-As if this man didn't have enough of a big ego- This happens around the start of the second year and he ends up fond of this fellow artist. He gets the idea of gifting you another case to gage your reaction. This time you find a deep blue pot with waves painted onto it. You're unsure of where it came from but you might up moving it by the first vase mumbling to yourself about how pretty it was! Man's ego skyrockets.

-You are confused when you thank your friends for the pretty gifts only to be told they didn't make any of the ones you have. You get more confused when you start finding pots left on your doorstep two or three times a month. You never see who leaves them but you're so taken by how each one is so pretty that you never complain. Just assuming it was a secret admirer. Gyokko's ego boosts higher when he sees you had gotten two big shelves and placed them up to be displayed. He loves seeing you light up when you look at them excited for when the next one arrives.

-You're happiness seems to be improving your work too as Gyokko ends up find you making full on landscapes on your dresses. He notices you've suddenly become happier and giddier lately and blushing even but he doesn't think it's anything other than your adoration for his craft.

-Confused when one day he finds no new dresses being made except for an absolutely beautiful shiromuku in the process of being made. He assumes you've been paid to make a bride her ceremonial dress. He has absolutely no idea of the real reason behind this behavior until he comes back earlier one night and is shocked to find YOU wearing the dress to try it out as another friend of yours does your makeup testing out what colors would look best with you in the dress.

-Seeing you in your own homemade bridal piece and your face dolled up is like he's looking upon living artwork. He's in awe as you both giddily talk about your wedding-..Wait. Wot? You're telling your friend all about how the pottery maker you had originally bought your first vase from had fallen for you and came forward to be your secret admirer leaving all of the vases as gifts.

W H A T?!

-Gyokko is ENRAGED!! How dare that lowlife claim his precious skills as his own!? More so how dare he use it to trick this beloved artist into letting him marry you?! He was claiming all his hard work!! He's becomes more enraged when you mentioned that your fiance wanted you to retire from your craft and be a stay at home wife after you marry. A mantra of "Oh over his dead body" is repeated over in his head as he temporarily disappears to take care of a problem.

-Soon after your friend leaves you're smiling at yourself in a mirror only to freeze in horror and shriek out as something monstrous comes clawing out of the first ever face you've ever gotten. People are horrified and shocked when they find your fiance dead and you no where to be found.

"Art is a beauty in of itself. However there are few people who can truly appreciate you as such."

Hoo boy that was a lot. I'm gonna do a part 2 with Hantengu since that guy needs to be tackled along with clones on his own post and a part 3 with the lower moons. Hope you all enjoyed this.

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thevagueambition · 2 months ago

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My feelings on the slash ships vs male friendships argument that occasionally pops up is that if other people shipping two male characters with each other genuinely ruins your ability to appreciate the intimate male friendship depicted in canon, that says a lot more about your personal anxieties and insecurities than it does about shippers or culture at large

The argument is typically about devaluation of friendships, right? that imposing romance/sex on these canonically non-romantic, non-sexual relationships between men implies that friendship without those elements is "lesser" or "not enough"

And I am sympathetic to a fruatration with devaluation of friendship and I do agree that the language shippers use or the argument they put forth in favour of why their ship is a valid reading of the text or going to become canon or whatever, that this is sometimes language or arguments that imply the superiority of romance and sex over relationships without those features

But the thing about it is that

1) the canon version of the relationship in question typically is a non-sexual, non-romantic one, the mainstream version of this story is one that puts emphasis on and values male friendship, which is proof in and of itself that there is no danger of stories about the importance of male friensships drying up

2) this is an issue far, far more prevalent in the depiction of relationships between men and women, like there actually is a lack of stories that center non-romantic, non-sexual male-female friendships, there genuinely are people who see every non-familial male-female interaction in the light of romance, yet it's the slash ships that get hit with this accusation of devaluing friendship

At the end of the day, how other people interpret a piece of media really doesn't have to affect your own relationship to a piece of media. It's perfectly fine not to like a ship! It's not homophobic to prefer a male friendship to a gay romance. Getting angry about other people engaging "incorrectly" with a fiction relationship is immature and in the case of the "devalueing male friendships" argument it is also homophobic

I have a straight male friend who really values Frodo and Sam's friendship and who doesn't personally read it as romantic, who indeed is a man with intimate, non-sexual, non-romantic relationship with other men and thus find that interpretation personally meaningful. But he's not immature or a homophobe, so he doesn't feel the need to complain or argue if someone else makes a reference to them as a couple in his presence. We all agree that the relationship is important and endearing, why would we have to agree on the particulars of whether they fuck or not?

If you find shippers annoying, that's perfectly reasonable because shippers often are annoying (I say as a shipper). But at the end of the day, the only reason to position slash interpretations and platonic interpretations as enemies is homophobia

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cookiekitkat8484 · 2 months ago

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It has come to my attention that people who haven't read the comics don't realise Wallace was the one who harassed scott into being his friend. Like he saw that nerd at uni and went oh yeah that's my guy now. This bitch would not shut up and showed up at his house uninvited to hang out till scott gave in and befriended him, then they got suuuper drunk and scott let him crash at his. He comes to family dinners, is best friends with his sister, and chats to his mum.

He despises envy more than anything and is furious when she tries to mess with his life again and scott gets hurt, so he cooks him breakfast and comforts him. He coaches scott in fighting and helps with strategies so he doesn't get his ass kicked. He bullies him to leave the house because there's a heatwave and he wants to make sure he doesn't get heatstroke. Like they're close enough Wallace walks around in his underwear (though scott whines about it).

I've seen people assume Wallace supports scott out of pity but that man is a bitch and morally questionable (affectionate), I do not think he would put up with it at all if he didn't want him around, especially given he can barely afford to support them both. When they stop living together he doesn't just kick him out it's because their landlord kicks them out, he actively enchorages scott to move in with Ramona out of care for him and offers to stay with him if he needs it, though ends up signing a lease with his boyfriend (in his defence scott didn't ask for him to stay and decided to try make things work with Ramona) but still let's him stay at the new apartment with them when Ramona kicks him out.

Yeah he's mean to scott sometimes and makes fun of him/is brutally honest but he basically became part of Scott's family and part of that is calling people out when they're being a total jackass and teasing them, he's that kinda guy and scott knows that he doesn't actually hate him or something. Yeah scott will do puppy dog eyes if he wants something but wallace is frequently nice to him on his own initiative and scotts not a suck up to Wallace, he can be a bitch right back at him.

They're a really important part of each other's lives. though I can understand people not familiar with the characters who watched the show thinking Wallace doesn't care about scott being gone, literally all the characters reacted super casually. Bryan has tried to clarify his way of trying to cope is him "being a jerk"/disconnecting/acting apathetic. Also in the show o'malley basically confirms Wallace had feelings for scott and that was why he had the affair with Todd and you can quote him on that, aswell as scott admitting how they became roomates was "somewhat gay" in the comics, so there's definitely some weird more than friends emotional mess tied in there.

comic panels i reference under the cut

TLDR wallace lives with him because he cares about him, whether you read that as still somewhat romantic or now platonic, with either interpretations fitting better with different versions of the story

#scott pilgrim #this comic means a lot to me if you cant tell #it made me less scared of growing up reading it for the first time in middle school and countless times since #because it makes it clear that yes scott starts off as an immature selfish self centered asshole #it is made very clear and if the reader still idolises him imo it is 100% on them and a reflection of them as a person #but the comics give him the time and care to give him real character development and shows him realising all the shitty things he's done #he learns from and owns up to and faces his mistakes and in turn matures as a person #and I know mid 20's isn't old but to 13 yr old me I was supposed to have my shit together by 18 man #so seeing him be shitty and fail as an adult and still become a better person meant I wasn't doomed if I messed up #also that relationships suck sometimes and thats ok #you can fix it or move on #anyway #ig this includes scollace ?#scollace #wallace wells

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olderthannetfic · 14 days ago

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Of course we know for AO3 tagging / is for romantic and & for platonic, but what about a fic where it isn't clarified and could be read and interpreted either way-- either as pre-slash or as friendship/bromance/etc?

I have this thing where I don't always need a certain pairing to be romantic, and I write a lot of pre-slash/ambiguous works. Tagging / doesn't feel quite right, since they're not explicitly in a romantic relationship and it wouldn't be incorrect to read them as platonic, but tagging as & doesn't feel quite right for the same reason, because it could very easily be read as pre-slash, and as the author I genuinely don't have a distinctive preference or intention either way-- I'm more interested in the dynamic than whether or not it is or may end up being romantic.

All I can tell you is that I would tag by intent... and as a reader, I want you to have an intent.

Other readers may disagree.

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priestess-of-yuri · 1 month ago

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A PICK-A-PILE FOR THE QUEER GOTHS 🔪🥀🩸

(and really, anyone who wants to play)

WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LOVE?

rules: feel out the vibes of each set of images. you can take as long as you like, you can choose more than one or all if you want, either way it's better to go with your gut instincts. then read the corresponding info under the cut. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, have fun! 🩷🖤❤️

also note that this can be interpreted however you like. it doesn't have to be romantic love; it can be any kind of love -- platonic, familial, spiritual, or some secret other thing. anything you like. your limit is your imagination.

Pile 1.

Pile 2.

Pile 3.

Pile 1.

You are holding onto something or someone in your heart that is blocking the flow of your emotions. Whether this be a person in your life right now, a ghost of what was, or more like a collection of memories, God is encouraging you to let go. You don't have to forgive or forget, but moving on is essential for opening up yourself to new love. You need to make the space for it.

You need to remember that you are growing at your own rate, and that's okay. Comparison is the killer of joy. Allow yourself to breathe, and be kind to your own being, as you make progress.

You have someone you want to be closer to, and you could very well be if you pursue it. It's important to take the initiative. You never know unless you try, and you only increase your chances of love if you try.

You need to practice being assertive to be loved. Asserting your boundaries is an important aspect of healthy relationships and the key to being loved the way you need. You need to teach those around you how to love you, even if there's already an emotional connection. Real love takes effort.

You've been pushing yourself too far and too hard as well. Maybe you've been taking care of others without letting yourself be cared for in the process. You need to relax and take a breather! Let yourself regain your energy, because you need to learn how to love yourself amongst learning how to love others, too.

Pile 2.

Things feel chaotic in your love life right now, but instead of shying away from it, try leaning into it. Try looking at things upside-down. You might like what you see.

You've been reaping the benefits of your sown harvest. Your emotional capacity is plentiful and abundant, and so you could try giving where others are in need! What you give to the world returns to you tenfold; this is how the world and God's part in it works.

Your appearance is unassuming, perhaps... but you know the strength you hold within. This is a gentle reminder to not let the opinions of others sway you when you know that you are surrounded by love, warmth and prosperity.

You're nearing the end of a cycle. You'll be collecting the fruits of your harvest, and you can take time to enjoy them; the good and the bad and the in-between; learn and live. You will see another spring just like this one.

A difficult decision is to be made, but you know what you're going to do. You need not hesitate, and you will feel relief in the fallout. You will find your way forward from this, it will not last forever.

You have things you've been keeping from people, and not maliciously -- but it would do you good to get it off your chest. The other person might have something to share too, and you can grow closer through trusting each other.

Face your enemies and stand your ground. You don't have to sacrifice your agency for them. You don't owe them that. You're facing these difficulties because of them, and it is not your fault. Be good to yourself by allowing yourself to be heard.

You've been facing so many situations that are outside of your control, but the way you behave is not outside your control. You know what you need to do, and being good to yourself is part of the journey. Pick your battles. Listen to your inner voice that knows which ones to fight.

Recenter yourself. You've been wearing thin because of these struggles you've been facing, so take time for yourself. Find that balance, reacquaint your body and your mind. It will help you when you need it most.

Pile 3.

Seeds remain dormant for many years waiting for the right conditions to sprout. Now is the time to bide your time. Wait until you're sure you're ready.

You're plentiful in emotional energy right now, bountiful and steady in ways, but someone around you could be struggling. Who haven't you heard from in a while? Maybe you could check in with them.

Your needs are being overlooked by others right now; consider communicating to let yourself be heard. If you have communicated multiple times and it's never gone well? Consider cutting out that which doesn't help you prosper. It's courageous to choose yourself first and foremost.

Taking a break from love is not weakness, it is strength in its own right. You need time right now. You need time to process, to meditate on things. And that's okay. So take all the time you need and know your worth.

Take a step back and soak up some restful energy in the sunshine. You need to tend to your anxieties and worries; soothe them, or try learning how to soothe them. Become acquainted with yourself and how to self-soothe; it is essential that you relax right now.

You're grieving right now. Whether that be the loss of a relationship, a life or a connection entirely, this is a gentle reminder that you are not alone and that the love you cherished will return to you in a new form.

Thanks for playing! :) Please reblog and let me know how it resonated if you enjoyed! 🩷🖤❤️

#i've noticed a lack of queer readers in the divination tags so i'm coining my own tag #divine lesblr #queer #queer reader #divination #oracle readings #free oracle readings #pick a card #pick a pile #aroace #lesbian #love reading #spiritual healing #gothic aesthetic #aroace lesbian #why did this take so many tries to post hello #woc

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bugsbenefit · 9 months ago

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genuinely still baffled by the "they don't need to address Mike's sexuality, all that matters is that he's in love with Will" crowd. especially when people say it who claim to care about Mike's character (when you could also just say you don't really care for that part of the show, which would be fine, no one cares about all characters/arcs)

because Surely you realize how him being gay or bi would change his entire character, right. whether he's attracted to girls or not would change the way all his actions up until now are to be interpreted. not even making a statement on his sexuality here, this is generally speaking

if he was actually attracted to El you'd have to address when and why he suddenly stopped loving El since in fiction "it just happened" isn't usually a satisfying answer to breaking a multi season couple up. Why is Will it for him? he's been acting weird for ages so when did he realize? and what made it click he fell out of love with El for good? you'd have to give some explanation for why he was able to proclaim his love for El accidentally in s3 and then fail to do it in the same season while looking uncomfortable with kissing her and so on since his pov was so majorly withheld

if he's not attracted to girls his arc in s5 needs to focus more on comphet and how dating El affected him/why he felt he couldn't break up with her/homophobic attitude in his surrounding slash Hawkins. or the idea of platonic and romantic love in general. there would be no how he got from point A(El) to point B(Will), like what the focus of a bi!Mike s5 arc would have to be on to explain what happened, but a focus on how he ended up at point A in the first place and why he was stuck there/how it affected him

and even core moments of the series would have entirely different meanings depending on if he's attracted to girls. "it's not my fault you don't like girls" being a peak example. if he's gay it's easy to explain it with projection. if he IS attracted to girls though it would read as a much more intentional (even if blurted out) act of homophobia, since it would be him pointing something out that Will genuinely does (not liking being around girls) but he himself can't relate to

and that's all just the surface level differences. Mike being attracted to girls or not being attracted to girls would give his arc an entirely different focus in s5. AS WELL as make his past actions have entirely different meanings. the idea that "it doesn't matter for his character" is so insanely wrong it's wild how many people confidently peddle it

#Mike being gay is the better writing choice imo in case some people don't know my opinion on it and the post isn't really about it #because making him bi would contradict major parts of what they already wrote and the coding they gave his character #would also be more conclusive with other themes the show already has like platonic vs romantic love #good example of a character where it's the exact opposite is Richie Tozier from the original It book btw #specifically when people try to make him gay in adaptations/fanworks which always derails his character and requires massive #changes to the way he's interpreted and things to be ignored/written out #because he was specifically BI coded in the book and not gay coded #so any gay interpretations take away from his character massively

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purple-plum-petals · 10 months ago

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⊱ TWST Characters and the Orange Peel Theory ⊰ || Multiple Character Scenario

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮ Character(s): Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Riddle Rosehearts, Jack Howl, Ruggie Bucchi, Leona Kingscholar, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Azul Ashengrotto, Jamil Viper, Kalim Al-Asim, Epel Felmier, Rook Hunt, Vil Schoeinheit, Ortho Shroud, Idia Shroud, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver, Sebek Zigvolt, Malleus Draconia (Twisted Wonderland) Reader Type: Human, Ramshackle Prefect (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Nothing! I also always use the Japanese TWST Terms (Dorm Leader instead of Housewarden, Madols instead of Thaumarks, etc.) in my writing. Genre: Scenario, Fluff, Attempt at Comedy Word Count: ~1530 words Scenario: What do the TWST boys do when you randomly turn to them, holding an orange in your palm as you ask, “Could you peel this for me?” Author’s Note: I’ve been having a hard time motivating myself to work on requests as of late and, given the state of some of my friendships irl at the moment, I wanted to write about the TWST boys and whether or not they would “pass” the Orange Peel Theory relationship test (probably because I need some comfort right now lmao). For those who don’t know, the Orange Peel Theory is a theory that, if someone loves and cares about you, they will do the smallest of tasks for you with no fuss; this “test” is supposed to show whether or not the care and respect in a relationship are mutual (another one of these “tests” I saw was asking your friend or partner to tie your shoe for you). This was written to be read as platonic, but it can be interpreted as romantic if that’s your jam.

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡ ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Looks at the orange in your hand before giving you a warm smile in return, taking it from your grasp and peeling the outer rind with no comment. He even offers to feed it to you, holding one of the pieces of fruit between his pointer finger and thumb as he gently brings it to your lips. Will only take a piece for himself if you give him explicit permission to do so; after all, he doesn’t want to ask to have some of your lunch since you looked so excited to eat the orange when you asked him to peel it for you (you were more excited about the fact he agreed to peel the fruit for you rather than the orange itself). Passes the test with flying colors.

Silver

Peels the rind from the flesh of the orange with a small smile while continuing to talk happily about whatever subject you two had been discussing prior to your question. He doesn’t ask why you suddenly needed the orange peeled since it doesn’t really matter to him; you asked him for help and he was happy to deliver (he was even touched you were comfortable enough to ask him to do that for you). Passes the test perfectly.

Kalim, Rook

Peels the orange with a level of perfection you didn’t even know was possible. You’re left absolutely astounded when he returns the newly-peeled fruit in your hand with a smile, not a single ounce of pith left on the flesh of the orange slices; it was the best orange you’ve probably ever eaten in your life. He passes the test and you honestly couldn’t ask for a better person to peel an orange.

Ortho

Is a bit curious as to why you asked him to peel the orange for you since he’s seen you do it before, but he doesn’t say anything as he takes the fruit from your hand to peel it. However, he ends up overestimating the amount of strength needed to remove the outer rind from the flesh, so now the both of you are splattered in orange juice and pulp. Your laughter at the ridiculous situation makes what happened a fond memory rather than something to be embarrassed about. While he technically passes the test, you now have no orange to eat (it has been reduced to atoms). It’s the thought that counts, though.

Jack, Malleus

Agrees to peel the orange for you, but he does want a couple pieces of the fruit in exchange for his services; he doesn’t just do things for free you know. He peels the orange for a price, but it’s a reasonable deal at least. You agree to his terms and watch as he happily and easily peels the orange, humming all the while. Once the rind has been removed from the flesh, he takes three slices of the fruit for himself to snack on before giving you the rest. Even though he peeled the orange for you, he technically fails the test since he wanted something in return.

Ruggie, Azul

Plucks the orange from your palm, but asks why you’re not able to peel it yourself. Are you not feeling well or something? He then begins to ask if you’re eating an orange because you need extra vitamin C as he proceeds to ask if you’re coming down with a cold; he definitely overthinks why you asked him to peel your orange for you. So, while he does peel the orange and successfully passes the test, you’re starting to think that maybe he cares about you a little too much with the sudden worry about your well-being.

Deuce, Riddle

Demands to know why you’re asking him to peel your orange for you since he’s seen you do it plenty of times before (keep in mind, he’s asking this while actively peeling your orange for you)! He then proceeds to ask if you’ve been eating properly and taking care of yourself if removing the rind from a piece of fruit was too strenuous on your human body; he even offers you to come and join him while he trains since his vigorous routine would be sure to give you enough strength to peel the orange on your own. He passes the test, but is the lecture something you truly want to have to sit through?

Sebek

Knows and is aware of the theory since he has seen it circling around on social media as of late, but he’s happy to peel the orange for you nevertheless. He even thinks it’s super cute how you asked him out of all your fellow classmates to try this viral test with (he’s actually kind of honored)! He of course passes the test since he already knew about it, but he would have gladly peeled your orange for you even if he didn’t know about it; you’re just that special to him.

Cater

Also knows about the theory from social media, but doesn’t really want to get his hands all sticky and potentially ruin a nail while trying to remove the outer layer of the fruit. Thankfully, he came prepared in case you asked him to do this “test” since he’s not one to disappoint, pulling an orange peeler from his back pocket as he separated the rind from the flesh. However, if push came to shove, Vil wouldn’t be against ruining his nails or getting his hands sticky with orange juice if it meant he could show you how much he cared for you. Passes the test since he doesn’t mind getting a little messy if it means he can express his appreciation toward you through small gestures such as this.

Vil

Takes the orange from your hand to peel it for you, but will be teasing you about it the entire time. Why are you suddenly not able to peel an orange, hmm? Why didn’t you ask another one of your friends? Were you waiting specifically to ask him of all people? My, now aren’t you adorable! He technically passes the test even if he’s kind of mean about it. Keep in mind that he will bring up your strange and sudden inability to peel your orange up in the future to tease you.

Trey, Jade, Lilia

Agrees to peel the orange, but is a little curious why you picked an orange to eat for lunch since you usually preferred having one of the apples he’d bring (he even started bringing an extra one just for you). A little bit upset you didn’t want an apple today, but he peels the orange for you with only a single comment about your lackluster choice of fruit for the day. Passes the test and peels the orange with no problem, but he’s kind of disappointed you didn’t want an apple; he can peel an apple faster than he can peel an orange.

Epel

Straight up says no and that he knows you’re capable of peeling it yourself. Why would he bother getting his hands all sticky just for you to be able to eat some fruit? If you want it, you can go through the mess it takes to get past the outer rind. However, he immediately notices your shoulders sag in disappointment as you bring the fruit to your body before you begin to peel it yourself. He rolls his eyes and lets out a huff before snagging the orange from your grasp, peeling it himself before handing the fruit back to you without a word. Technically fails the test, but at least he peeled it for you after seeing how downtrodden you looked.

Ace, Leona, Jamil

Nods his head and takes the orange from your hand but, alas, he can’t even peel the orange. You both knew he wasn’t exactly the strongest or healthiest individual on campus, but neither of you thought it was this bad. After his pride is wounded and his face is a deep shade of red, you gingerly take the orange from his grasp and peel it yourself, offering him a piece of fruit in the hopes it will cheer him up. Passes the test even if he was unable to garner enough strength to actually peel the orange; he makes you promise not to tell anyone about this.

Idia

His reaction truly depends on how he’s feeling at the moment. If he’s in a bad mood, he’d either tell you no or – if someone had done something that day to really piss him off – crush and/or throw the orange. If he’s feeling a bit playful, he’d pluck it out of your hand and hold it high above your head while you pleaded for him to give you your snack back. However, if he’s in a good mood that day (and if he’s not trying to hide his slight soft spot towards you), he’d gently take it from your hand and peel the orange with ease, handing you back a perfectly peeled fruit for you to eat before asking if he could have a piece. He either fails the test exponentially or passes it with flying colors; it honestly all depends on his mood at the time.

Floyd

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reyesranch · 4 months ago

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“tommy is not even enthusiastic or excited to hangout with buck like he is eddie. he spends the entire episode laughing and smiling hanging out with eddie and whether or not that interest is romantic or platonic—“ im gonna stop you right there.

that’s THE difference. with buck and tommy currently dating, it’s 100% safe to assume tommy had only platonic intentions with eddie (because its kinda weird to think a gay man will automatically be into every guy they meet and can’t just be friends with them) but he’s romantically interested in buck. therefore the approach with buck is going to be much different.

does tommy even know if buck is queer? he definitely picked up on the vibes in the loft scene. but while you may interpret it differently, we can also interpret that tommy could be just as anxious to be the one to contact buck first to hang out, possibly in fear of rejection/reading the room wrong. the vibe of the harbor scene is flirtatious, maybe it’s difficult to see it the first time because hey, it’s two guys, but watching it back a second time it’s there and you can practically see tommy trying to feel out the vibe himself. he also tells buck to hit him up at the end. we didn’t get to see tommy’s side of it all. it could be implied tommy was also fishing for information about buck from chris, that tommy could have been hoping eddie would invite buck to hangout, we simply don’t know! but what i do know is that if tommy was to be a bad guy in the story, we would have known by now. 911 doesn’t exactly shy away from showing you who the villains are in the story.

furthermore,

why else would tommy kiss buck? because buck’s a dude and tommy’s desperate? the excuse that tommy is just wanting to get to the 118 is overused and ridiculous. he already has the 118. he’s friends with hen, chim and eddie outside of buck and bobby was his boss before too. is he getting a little small found family in return? sure, but to think tommy’s some evil mastermind about is… definitely a choice.

saying that tommy letting buck set the pace means he making buck do all the work is also just, completely fucking wrong. tommy letting buck set the pace means he cares, because he doesn’t want to pressure buck, he wants to make sure they’re moving at a speed buck is comfortable with. buck is a newfound bisexual, it’s actually pretty considerate for tommy to let buck take the reigns of the relationship.

then, to even imply tommy only might want buck for sex is also just, gross. if that’s all he wanted he would have been gone after their date. he wouldn’t agree for a second chance, he wouldn’t put in the effort to show up for buck. he could just go on grindr, it’s fucking los angeles dude. this is a guy ready for a steady, committed relationship.

im once again begging you guys to actually watch the show without any biases. you’d be able to understand and pick up on what is truly happening on your screen if you did.

addition: also to act like tommy has never smiled or laughed around buck… be for real.

#bucktommy #911 abc #fandom discourse #so tired of ppl acting like tommy is some suspicious evil mastermind when gerrard and the councilwoman are right there!!!

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syrupgirl · 2 years ago

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this is a request lol but i havent seen really anything on the ATWOW characters and a chubby!human reader. like would they like her belly? would they like how “squishy” she is? what are your thoughts on this:)❤️

a/n: wasn’t sure if I should interpret this as a full fic request or just my thoughts so i mixed the two and turned in more of a hc direction! I also tried to keep this written in a way that could be perceived as either romantic or platonic (Tuk is most definitely platonic tho) :p

The beautiful bodies we are in -assorted ATWOW characters

As a general rule of thumb, I think all of the characters would be a lil curious, as all Na’vi we have seen have been quite slender. But I truthfully can’t see anyone of them being anything but generally indifferent towards readers body type :)

JAKE

Jake wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

๑༄ ‧₊˚Like I said, I can’t see anyone being feeling any type of negative way about a reader’s body and that applies to Jake, too. If, for whatever reason, you were insecure about your body because of your weight or size, he would comfort you the best he could.

NEYTIRI

Has you in high regard because she believes you’re absolutely stunning

๑༄ ‧₊˚Don’t ask me where this came from, but I just think Neytiri would find you absolutely gorgeous. Not in the ‘awwww so adorable like a puppy’ way but ‘Oh my goodness you are ethereal’

NETEYAM

Fascinated but then just treats you like he would anyone else :)

๑༄ ‧₊˚ Depending on whether you grew up with the Sully’s (like Spider) or you met them later in life, they would have different ‘first impressions’ when it comes to your body type! Growing up with them from a young child, he would probably just know that human bodies behave differently to Na’vi bodies and that’s normal. If you were introduced when he was a bit older, he might ask a few questions, like, is there a reason for it? but after you explained that it is just how your body is for no particular reason, he would just say okay! and happily move on with his day

KIRI

Small, silent, fascination to respect and love

๑༄ ‧₊˚My homegirl Kiri, hard to get a read on her tbh. Again, NOTHING negative. EVER. She might ask if it is an evolutionary thing for humans? To which you would answer no, not really, just how my body grows and she would understand that and stop the questioning. Would hate to make you uncomfortable in any way or make you feel alienated or estranged so probably doesn’t comment on your body much after that or at all.

LO’AK

Possibly less…restrictive with his questions but not less respectful in the end

๑༄ ‧₊˚He probably runs the risk of asking an innocent question in a direct way that is really fkn rude like ‘why do you look like that?’ when what he really means is ‘hey, why is your body different than mine? that’s interesting’ If he could see you took offence, he would immediately apologise and try to formulate his question better. Much like his mother, I think he adores you and your body to no end. I also feel like he would say ‘there’s more of you to love’ and would like to be touching you all the time. Likes to lay on your tumtum and talk to you

TUKTIREY

she’s just a babyyyy my babbyyyy

๑༄ ‧₊˚ Whether or not you were around since she was small(er) or not, I don’t think she would have any types of feelings since she’s so liddle. Maybe a frequent series of hugs now and then and a you’re so warm and soft muttered into your stomach while she’s smushed there but that’s just normal for her.

TONOWARI

This man…I love this man and he loves you

๑༄ ‧₊˚Like Neytiri, you would be his deity. Maybe it’s me projecting how I want to be worshipped by this blue alien but good golly miss molly. He loves every little bit of you and just wants to hug and squeeze you all the time. I have to stop before I gush over him too much (also yes, it would be hard to take this in a platonic sense even tho i said i would try to keep it neutral 💀)

RONAL

I don’t have a good grasp on m’lady Ronal

๑༄ ‧₊˚She is just a skeptical lady, you could probably catch her looking at you out of the corner of your eye and she doesn’t even bother looking away once you’ve caught her. Her interest about your body isn’t based on anything negative ofc just complete fascination.

a/n: while writing this, I tried to not alienate the reader because of their size as I know that just isn’t on. I truly hope I didn’t cross any lines <3 If you would like this same concept with a specific character, feel free to send in a request :p

#avatar fanfiction #avatar #avatar x reader #avatar imagine #avatar way of water #neteyam x reader #lo’ak x reader #jake sully x reader #neytiri x reader #ronal x reader #tonowari x reader #neteyam #lo’ak #jake sully #kiri #tuktirey #chubby!reader

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cancerstanople · 4 months ago

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As someone who used to identify as aromantic, I used to (and still do) struggle to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction, here's my best explanation.

It's very similar to platonic attraction. You want to spend a lot of time with a person, you want to get to know them, you want to express affection for them.

The difference is in the intensity of it. With romantic attraction, you want to know their deepest secrets and show your affection for them RIGHT NOW. The feelings of love and attachment to this person are overwhelming and powerful clouders of judgement, especially at the onset of a crush or the start of a new relationship.

For the asexuals, this is why romantic and sexual attraction are perceived to be the same thing for most people, because sex is often thought of as the highest form of intimacy; it's a very intense, vulnerable, and physically close form of physical affection. But regardless of whether sex is a factor, the basis of romance is the desire to connect with someone as intimately and as quickly as possible.

Another difference is the duration of it. Feelings of friendship are generally very consistent, and can last long periods of time with less maintenance on the relationship itself. However, feelings of romantic attraction, while strong, are more short-lived. After the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship is over, the powerful, intoxicating feelings start to dissipate, and the lovers face a choice:

break up because the loss of the feeling means you're not motivated to keep the relationship going anymore

stay together and resign themselves to a more comfortable, platonic dynamic (I say "resign" not to mean that it's lesser than a passionate romance, just not as dramatic)

keep rekindling the fire, keep finding new ways to express affection or new things to discover about each other

When I explained it to myself in this way, it helped me understand why there are so many seemingly nonsensical rituals and customs surrounding dating and relationships: it's an attempt to regulate it. Romantic attraction is a very volatile feeling; it's strong, it blocks off your rationality, and it doesn't last a long time with the same person if you don't know how to keep it up. This means it has the potential to cause a lot of strife and maybe cause physical pain if there are no rules of engagement (engagement lol, pun not intended). So we have practices of dates, and marriage, and social mores about how to interact with each other in order to pace ourselves.

This is how I interpret it, at least. Other allos, feel free to add your own perspectives or shit on mine if yours is completely different. I'm still young, so my view on it is probably immature, but I think it's a good basis for future conversation, at least.

For the aros reading this, I hope it was helpful!

#aromantic spectrum #aromanticism #asexual #aromantic #lgbtq #queer #gay pride #gay #lesbian #bisexual #transgender #nonbinary #pansexual

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fishfingersandjellybabies · 9 months ago

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Honestly I always thought jondami stan were joking about Jon being obsessive with Damian, but then I start to read Jon comics and OMG THIS GUY IS NOT OBSESSIVE HE IS COMPLETELY DEVOTED TO DAMIAN

I'm not joking you guys were not joking Jon really kept some devotion to Damian

I don't say it in some romantic way or platonic way the only word who really works in this case is devotion

Even now when jon is basically almost an adult he still keeps this devotion for Damian in heart, Nakamura call Damian a demon? Jon got mad at him! Someone doesn't respect Damian? Jon don't like you now, grow up! Is Damian mean to him? Yep, I deserve it, I should not have done it/said it

I say devotion instead of obsession because Jon still has a life without Damian on it but YET he still put Damian on his thoughts and heart, not in sexual or romantic way more 'i need to care for him, I need to protect him, I need to remember him I could die for him'

And the best part of this devotion? Jon can be consumed by it. He can fight with anyone if he needs and everything is inconsistent, he put Damian on this pedestal without realizing it and no even Damian understands what Jon did

Jon is 100% sure that no one no single soul will care for Damian in the same way he did, then he needs to be the one who cares for Damian and tries to protect him from any injury because no one appreciates Damian as they should, don't get him wrong, Jon loves Jay Nakamura, jay was perfect but Damian is the most humanity thing Jon already see (the gentle part together with the anger; the hope even with all those mess)

Probably Damian caught this after a while when he started to recognize Jon's behavior is dangerous too similar to his grandpa subordinates....

I think that's what I love about Damian and Jon the most, is whether it's interpreted romantically or plantonicly, it's simple - they are soulmates. No one will care for each other like they care for each other, and that's just a plain fact.

I have always felt that it was because, despite their rocky start, Damian was the first and only person to ever see Jon. Not the perfect son of Superman, not as a leader, not as an always happy person. But as a real, flawed, angry human. Jon makes mistakes? Damian shrugs and says 'okay nerd let's keep going.' No one had done that for Jon before, and no one has since.

Meanwhile Damian still can't believe it, because he probably believes he's lesser than Jon. That he's the grunt who needs to always be watching Jon's back and protecting him from the darkness and dirt that the world tries to throw at this optimistic spirit.

#jondami #damian wayne #jonathan kent #asks #anon

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franklyimissparis · 7 months ago

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mr schwartz: a line-by-line queer-coded lyrical analysis

warning: this is quite long but mr schwartz is one of my favourite songs off the car album (and one of my favourites of alex’s in general) and i’ve ALWAYS read it as super queer but have yet to dive into precisely what makes it queer and the themes within it. it’s TRULY such an understated lyrical masterpiece.

Put your heavy metal to the test

- this is a play on words of the phrase ‘test your mettle’ which basically means to see whether or not someone will carry on through something that is difficult. immediately, this indicates that the relationship between alex and the other person is a difficult one and requires strength/determination to move forward with

- it also could refer to heavy metal music (which isn’t a very traditionally romantic genre) as is played off of in the next few lines

Might be half a love song in it all for you

- the phrase “half a love song” is particularly interesting to me as there are many ways to take it: it could be half a love song because it is unfinished or because it isn’t fully a love song (and both interpretations tie into other lyrics in the song)

- if we go down the route that it’s only half a love song because it isn’t fully a love song, it implies that there is more to the relationship than romance or that the song/relationship isn’t meant to be viewed (solely) through a romantic lens (but the other person may see it as such)

- whereas the idea that the song is unfinished could either suggest a lack of passion or the feeling that the story isn’t done yet.

- it could also communicate that the someone else needs to finish the song for alex - which is somewhat implied in the previous line. this could also indicate that, like alex, the other person gets musical inspiration out of their relationship

Timing wise, it’s probably for the best

- the use of “timing” ties in with the musical references but also highlights that the relationship is heavily tied to the timing of what’s going on in their lives (invoking “right person, wrong time” in a way)

- alex is acknowledging that because of forces outside of their control (i.e. time) it’s probably best they don’t pursue a serious relationship (or, like the previous line, a “full” love song)

Come here and kiss me now, before it gets too cute

- he’s asking his lover to quickly kiss him before they can let the moment become sweet, implying that, while he is fine with the physical aspect, the emotional side of things makes him uncomfortable

- musically, he also wants to avoid being cheesy or overly sentimental which ties in thematically with the ultracheese as well

- it’s important to note that this is also the only explicitly romantic line on the entirety of the car album: this (and the half a love song line) is the only line on the album that cannot possibly be read as platonic

Mr Schwartz is stayin’ strong for the crew

- here we switch to discussing the persona/character of mr schwartz, which as seen later, is obviously meant to be an extension/alter-ego of alex himself

- the reference to “staying strong for the crew” directly after talking about his lover implies that there is a conflict between the two: that staying strong for the crew entails keeping an emotional distance from his lover

- he recognises that those around him rely on him to keep up his persona to do their jobs (in this extended metaphor of a film set)

Wardrobe’s lint-rollin’ your velveteen suit

- alex is known to emphasise his personas via clothing choices and the velveteen suit is representative of that here. the crew removes any imperfections, like the lint, off of the suit (the persona)

- this also ties into alex’s obsession with perfectionism and control and how, though he is wearing the suit (i.e. persona), there is a mutual reliance between him and the “crew” to maintain his image

- also have to mention that velveteen is a rather untraditional material choice for something as traditional as a suit, there is a bit of a clash here between the two (a fully velveteen suit could also be seen as quite camp - and is also very 70s, which ties into eycte’s aesthetic too)

And smudgin’ dubbin on your dancin’ shoes

- dubbin makes leather softer and waterproof: again, others are trying to prevent damage from occurring to the persona

- this could also refer to the musical direction that the band has gone to in tbhc and the car: their music is softer and more contemplative than it was before, especially since ‘dancing shoes’ is also a song off of their first album. this could be commentary on how alex’s personas have evolved and the mixed reactions he’s gotten from his audience over it

Gradually, it’s coming into view

- we move from music imagery to film imagery with the line “coming into view”.. things were blurry or unclear before but he (or the other person) are slowly coming to realizations about their situation

It’s like your little directorial debut

- having a directorial debut suggests that this is the first time they are taking control of a situation and telling others what to do, they are directing someone else instead of being directed - with the word little being used to emphasise that this isn’t a massive change yet

- but he’s also directing himself to behave in a certain way: alex is directing his new persona, mr schwartz, in his debut

As fine a time as any to deduce

- to me this line also implies that this realisation has sort of been a long time coming, they’ve been through this cycle so many times that they might as well come to the realisation now

The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

- going into the next verse as well, this hints that alex and his lover have had struggles with seeing where alex ends and the persona begins and have also never been able to get their relationship right as a result

And if we guess who I’m pretending to be

- here he is confirming what is obvious: alex is mr schwartz and the persona is clearly differentiated from himself as “pretending”. alex and his lover are both keenly aware that mr schwartz is a persona which almost becomes a joke to them in the next line

Do we win a prize?

- alex pokes fun at how obvious it is to him and his lover that mr schwartz is a character but i think he’s also pointing out here: do we get anything out of the persona that i’ve created?

- he’s questioning, perhaps for the first time, if in the end keeping the persona up will be worth it to him and his lover or if it is all meaningless

Having attempted twice, both incorrectly

- okay so obviously the majority of us reading this are immediately going to go to a certain side project of alex’s and the two albums they’ve released (with talk of there being a third to complete the trilogy)

- this suggests that there have been two attempts at happiness between him and his lover but both times there was something fundamentally wrong with the relationship that caused them to drift, which is likely related to the act that he is putting on

Do we get a third try?

- the phrasing on this line is interesting as well as alex doesn’t ask his lover directly like “can we have a third try?” instead, he poses this question more existentially: will a third try be given to the two of them? it implies that he and the other person aren’t in control of their situation to some extent, they have to rely on being given chances by others.

- though this also could be interpreted as alex shirking responsibility of the situation onto others instead of being straightforward. he simultaneously wants and does not want control.

The gloved hand’s reachin’ in to hit the switch

- by wearing gloves, there is the desire to avoid leaving fingerprints/evidence of the relationship. and because the hand is gloved it is intentionally anonymous: is it alex’s hand? mr schwartz’s? the other person’s? or someone outside of things meddling in the relationship?

- interesting also that a switch is a binary thing: either on or off (gay or straight, platonic or romantic, alex or mr schwartz) ignoring the possibility of things being on a more complicated spectrum as is implied earlier (“half a love song”)

- hitting the switch is sometimes used as a euphemism for triggering a permanent change but can also be seen as a temporary action (the switch can be endlessly turned off/on), highlighting the back and forth in their relationship.

There’s not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

- this is the only time alex curses in the song which highlights how frustrating the persona and lack of power can be

- he feels stuck in the situation, just continuously flicking the switch between persona and reality, and indicates that his lover is also likely frustrated at this too. though they want to help fix the situation, they can’t, or at least they feel like they can’t

But Mr Schwartz is havin’ tea with the grips

- again, he’s switching back and forth between the real him and mr schwartz: while alex is frustrated and insecure about the lack of control in his life, mr schwartz charms those around him and takes hold of the situation

- more film imagery with mentioning the grips (those who help with camera and lighting equipment on a film set): to me, this line is fascinating as we’ve seen that everyone (including the crew) is working towards keeping the mr schwartz persona up and through the metaphor of the film set they are creating something imaginary, however, behind the scenes the grips still get to be real people with real families while alex, or mr schwartz, has to continue to keep the persona up.

Askin’ after all the wives and the kids

- the use of the phrase “askin’ after” instead of “talking about” etc. implies that the question is not mutual: mr schwartz is not being asked about his wife/kids because he does not have any and the others know it. yet he knows that it is important that he shows interest in their nuclear families. this is also clearly commentary on how alex is the only unmarried and childless member of the band

- it could be seen as him directing conversation away from his personal life: focusing on others and letting them talk is more comfortable than discussing yourself honestly and breaking the act

It’s at the heart of what the business is

- the final line of the song breaks down the essence of why the persona is kept up: ultimately, it is a business decision. alex understands how closely tied together business and personal lives are as a celebrity and is invested in the persona to keep the two separate, though by choice or force is up for debate

- also poses the question of whether or not he’s genuinely interested in their lives or if it is just business to him. it could be read as bittersweet in the sense that the heart of the business is human connection, but if you don’t conform you aren’t allowed to drop the act without punishment

- finally, this line also ties back to “staying strong for the crew”: he has to keep up the persona so that the ‘crew’ can continue to work and take care of their families. and hearing about them is both a reminder of what he is denying himself and what is at stake for the others.

to summarise: alex is torn between putting on the straight persona of mr schwartz and being truly himself within the fractured relationship he has with his lover - which has been heavily influenced by external and internal pressures. gee i wonder who the song is about (rhymes with schmiles schmane.)

#may do some other songs bc this was fun #it took me way too long though 😭😭#if you made it to the end you’re insane and i love you #if anyone has any requests let me know lmao #alex turner #the car era #the car album #arctic monkeys #miles kane #milex #the car #mr schwartz #tlsp #lyric analysis #queer-coded lyrical analysis

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