#unwell as usual

[strawlessandbraless]

5x18 Point of no Return // 15x18 Despair

The journey from I happened to him to I’ve got you

[shibopanda]

🫡

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[thiswildernessismyhome]

just. the way that everyone wrote lilia off as some harmless unserious weirdo in the way so many older women get written off. when in fact she was an incredible brilliant badass

[ribbittrobbit]

[itscherryterry-again]

it's you!

I don't know bingbong, let's ask the destroyed roomba

[intheconfessiondial]

12 Months of 12 - September

[deckoftrickcards]

“you said we’re not together so now when we kiss i have anger issues…. i know baby no attachments…” CHAPPEL WHAT! KLANCE WHAT! WHAT?!

[orb-weaving]

Recognition

[gunsatthaphan]

👁️👄👁️

[anna-scribbles]

“He was— He was my ‘buttercup’,” she sobbed out, and his hand gripped her far shoulder, “And I— I never even— I never got to tell him how much he m-meant to me— not even th-the stupid sun thing—”

“Oh… Marinette…” he whispered, his nose brushing against her hair, “The sun thing wasn’t stupid.”

this scene from chapter 6 of drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat has PLAGUED me since i read it i am deeply unwell

[transmascutena]

i was thinking all day yesterday about utena and how lonely she is and how she's never felt wanted anywhere and how all she's ever really wanted was a place to belong. her parents are dead, obviously, leaving her lost with nowhere to go but the coffin. if she has any extended family at all, it seems none of them wanted to bother taking her in, choosing instead to send her off to boarding schools and make her someone else's problem (not strictly canon, as we don't know what utena's life before ohtori is like, but i think a complete lack of any parental figure is the only way for the themes and her character arc to make sense). at ohtori she feels out of place too (you know how it is with being a gender nonconforming lesbian teenager). there are people who admire and are infatuated with her, but none of them know her. she doesn't have any close friends beside wakaba and later anthy, and as much as she loves them, for a long time neither of them are people she feels like she can really open up to.

akio is the one person to offer her this thing she's been longing for for most of her life, a place in his home and in his family. a place to belong. and of course this makes her happy. it's what she's always wanted. a family, and i think especially their family. but, aside from the obvious of it all being a way to earn her trust and make her feel indebted to him so he can groom and abuse her, does she ever truly feel like she belongs there? i think she wants to. i think she often convinces herself she does. but i think it is also absolutely akio's intention to still make her feel like an outsider. to make her feel deeply insecure in her position there, while still feeling like she owes him for it. utena knows that he could throw her out if he wanted to, that everything he gave her is something he could take away again. she doesn't want to believe he would do that to her of course, because she trusts him, but she knows, the way all children know, implicitly, that the adult is the one with the power, even if they haven't seen it abused yet. so she tries to make herself appealing to him. tries to make herself fit into what she thinks he wants her to be. tries to do what she thinks she needs to to be deserving of his love. because it isn't unconditional, the way we're always told family is supposed to be.

of course, the truth is, even though it isn't simple or easy, utena did have somewhere she felt she belonged all along: with anthy

[enden-k]

how did i as a gallagher lover miss this oh god oh my god o

[ilions-end]

got bodied by clytemnestra in sophocles' electra coolly arguing that agamemnon must have had an easy time sacrificing iphigenia, because as her father "he felt less pain when he begot her than I did when I bore her". just like how aeschylus writes her, she's both so savage and so clinical; she has a way of brazenly introducing sexual themes into a conversation, plus she forces both me and electra to envision agamemnon cumming. who does it like her. honestly

[necrotic-nephilim]

I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.

batman (1940) #618

And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.

batman (1940) #650

It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?

When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.

[sunn-mechanic]

[ID in alt]

Somewhere on the edge of Waterfall...