#until they remember necromancy i suppose

[axvwriter]

Pirate captain Idia

Pirate captain Idia

Pirate captain Idia

Along with skele-hands Ortho!!

Dumb imagine:

Idia scoops someone out of the sea.

Ortho: “Oh this one’s still alive.”

Idia freaks out and tosses that someone back into the sea.

Ortho: “Nii-san!”

OH ANOTHER IMAGINE

Ortho taking Idia to a pub, insisting his brother socialize while seemingly oblivious to all the sinister energy of said pub. Ortho finds a card table and pushes Idia to join. Idia finds himself playing cards with Azul. Perhaps even beats Azul so now Azul has somehow roped Idia into meeting up regularly for card games. Thus the board game club prevails into pirate au

twst pirate au!!

the theme/idea for their dorm was basically like the flying dutchman from pirates of the caribbean so idias job as the captain is to deliver lost souls that died in the ocean to safety.

idia - became the captain of the ship purely just so that his little brother wouldnt be wandering the ocean lost in death and now ortho travels w/ him so theyre never alone </3. the veil he wears is both to make him look scarier than he actually is + he doesnt actually have to look into anyones eyes which is a bonus for him.

ortho - he is dead (shocker), ortho died at sea and wandered the oceans until his brother found him and then he joined his brother. some parts of his body like his arms are just bare bones and sometimes they pop off. ortho does most of the speaking for idia whenever addressing the crew, idia just kind stands there lol

anyways very fun and if i do continue w/ this au i might also refer to it as the seven seas au since not everyone is technically gonna be pirates and some characters might get aged up. (p.s their bandanas on their waists r matching)

[multiverse-menagerie]

Hey! I am not sure if your requests are open, but I would love to see you write following concept.

Astarion, Gale, Halsin (maybe more of six if you feel like it) with reader that falls asleep during their flirting/infodumping/obligatory night interaction because they're just so drained from all the fights and adventures.

Sponsored by all the times I stood on the long rest after 8 hour session only to be assaulted by all the flirting and friendly interactions

Thank you for your marvelous writing 💛

under a cut bc it a bit long 😘

Astarion

You had offered to help Astarion do some research on the Necromancy of Thay, so the two of you were sat side by side in his tent. You’d both been poring over books, offering comments to one another when pertinent. Mostly Astarion was soaking in the contentment that came from being at your side, his shoulder brushing yours.

…until you suddenly sagged against his side. Your fall was enough to wake you, blinking wildly as you tried to remember what you were doing.

“Am I really that boring?” Astarion said, plucking the book from your lap. He sat is and his book to the side.

“No, no, I just-“ You cut yourself off with a huge yawn, quickly throwing a hand up to cover your mouth, as if to hid it from Astarion. He rolled his eyes (playfully) before waving a hand at you.

“Go on, put your nightclothes on and go to bed already.” He shooed you off. He did the same so when you were ready he was already lounging in the bedroll. You pile up beside him, still heavy blinking, and offer him your neck.

Astarion freezes for a moment. This has become somewhat of a routine for y’all, sure, but he’d never seen the exhaustion catch up with you as it had today.

“Are you kidding me? You’re about to keel over as it is, one bite may do you in.” Astarion sneered. (He cares but he’s he’s trying to play it cool. He’s not very good at playing it cool).

“What a way to go.” You respond, words slurring together as you tuck your head against his shoulder.

Gale

Gale hadn’t exactly meant to go on a long winded diatribe about some sort of magic y’all had encountered earlier in the day. The two of you were sitting at a low table in your rooms, books and papers across it. You asked an innocuous question but Gale took off with it.

You were interested, don’t get me wrong. But a full belly and long day, paired with Gale’s voice was just the recipe for you to start dozing off. Gale notices after a few minutes of total silence from you is broken by small snores. He glances at you in surprise.

Your head barely held up by your hand, mouth half open (and definitely not drooling). Gale carefully nudged you awake.

“I will take it as a compliment that I can put you to sleep so easily.” Gale teased. “But you should’ve told me you weren’t up for a conversation.”

“I wanted to try.” You reply, rubbing a hand over your face.

“We can call it a moderate success, I think. You did better than most who listen to me ramble.” Gale helps you to your feet, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

“Mmm, if I get in bed, will you talk me to sleep again? Since you’re so good at it.” You teased him, though clearly just trying to convince him to stay with you.

“Ah, I suppose I can sacrifice my own bed in favor of yours.”

Halsin

When you’d returned to camp, just about dead on your feet, Halsin had insisted you sit while dinner was sorted out. He pressed a small mug of tea into your hands then when to help Gale cook. Scratch and the owlbear cub cuddled up to you immediately, as they always did whenever you sat down in camp.

He kept his focus on cooking, so when he headed towards you, he was a little surprised to see you completely passed out. You were leaning heavily against the owlbear cub and the mostly drunk mug of tea dangled dangerously from your finger tips.

Halsin plucked the mug from your hands, setting it to the side. He nudged you awake, grinning warmly as you blinked blearily at him.

“Dinner’s ready.” He said as he sat down beside you. Rather than hand you your plate though, he picked up a piece of veggie and held it out to you.

“I can feed myself.” You try to argue, but Halsin just raises an eyebrow at you.

“I know.” He replied, but kept the piece of food held out. You sighed and reached to take it from him but he pulled it out of your reach. You sigh more dramatically but open your mouth, letting him plop the piece in there while he seemingly ignored the blush on your face.

“I believe it’s your turn to relax. If you’re good and eat it all, I may even turn into a bear and join in on the cuddling.”

[fanfoolishness]

Failure (~680 words, Lucanis x Rook)

-

You have this.

It was something he used to whisper to himself when he was young, a push to keep himself going through training, through trials, through torture. The words echoed in his mind, his voice or Spite’s, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was both of them blurring together. You have this.

Yes. He had this. He was the Demon of Vyrantium, was he not? An Antivan Crow who never betrayed a contract? This was nothing like the slaying of a god. This was conquest. Romance. It was time he took control.

Lucanis took a step forward, drawing breath deep into his lungs. He tried to remember every crumb he’d ever gleaned from romance novels and Illario’s exploits. He fixed his gaze on Rook’s face, her pale eyes half-lidded, a smile playing about her lips. 

For a moment the nerves vanished as he gazed at her. Her smiles, her jokes, her kindness; they did banish the gloom he so often struggled with. Rook cared about him. She had made it clear between checking up on him after episodes with Spite, with how she had been attentive to him after his failure at Weisshaupt. More than that, there had been teasing smiles, a playful glint in her eyes. He wasn’t blind. He simply… had not been sure how to respond.

You have this. He drew near to her, his heart hammering within his chest, uncertainty crawling beneath his skin.

He rested his arm against the wall. He wasn’t tall, but neither was she, and here he had the edge. This close he could smell her hair -- the scent of woodsmoke and fine clean ash, hints of her Mourn Watcher rituals -- with every breath he took.

Rook was beautiful. He understood that. 

She… liked him. He believed he understood that.

There were steps he was supposed to take now.

He smiled, slow, languid, targeted like he’d seen Illario do a thousand times. Then Rook reached out, brushing her finger against his chest. Her magic lay in fire and necromancy, and yet it was lightning he felt arcing through his body. His heart stuttered. This was correct, wasn’t it? This was part of it?

Why. Afraid! Spite howled in the back of his mind. But fear wasn’t the right word for it. Lucanis didn’t have a word for it. 

He said something -- one of the lines he’d thought useful from a romance novel, about walking too close to the edge -- and Rook smiled, leaning towards him. He leaned a little closer in response, holding his breath. Yes. This was what he was supposed to do. She closed her eyes. Her mouth shifted, waiting for a kiss -- waiting for him --

You have this!

He pulled back abruptly, curling a hand close over his chest, his eyes stinging. “I… need to clear my head.” 

He turned away. He could feel her confused gaze upon him, but he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. “Excuse me.” He turned tail, quick sharp strides out of the narrow pantry, making for the kitchen. He took the side stairs up two at a time until he found himself out on the rickety platform, looking out at the endless white void. His breath tore in his chest.

He leaned back against the stone, one of the few reliable things in this world of the ephemeral. It felt real. Solid, cold, sturdy. He sank down the wall into a crouch and folded over himself, hands tucking tight beneath his arms, and bowed his head.

Ruined! Spite snapped. Why. Leave Rook?

“I wish I knew!” Lucanis growled beneath his breath.

Spite fell mercifully quiet. But the demon’s silence brought no respite, for now his own shame and confusion ringed viciously round his head, crueler than anything Spite could manage on his own.

Lucanis screwed his eyes shut, willing himself to let it go. He had survived torture and possession. He could survive this misstep. But he saw Rook’s face, hopeful and curious and leaning towards his own.

He wondered if she would forgive him this failure.

If he could forgive himself.

[kirkwall-tourism-department]

Extra Reading, Ch. 2

More illiterate rook x emmrich fluff

Opposites attract will always and forever be one of my favorite romance tropes.

Emmrich searched through the piles of books he had pulled from his shelves, all potential contenders to be the first book Rook would read. The gravity of the decision was not lost on him. Finding a balance between something that wouldn’t be too challenging at her current skill level and would actually interest her was a fine line to walk. Certainly none of his necromancy texts, nothing that assumed the reader was already somewhat knowledgeable on the topic, and nothing that overindulged in grandiose language. Which sadly precluded the majority of his library as candidates. He tried to think of everything he knew about Rook, and came up with a pitifully short list. She was a Grey Warden, she had spent time in the Anderfels, and she didn’t mind necromancy. When he had inquired if his magical practice would concern her and her teammates, she had just laughed and said “she had seen worse things happen to dead bodies than doing chores in the Necropolis.” Concerningly, she had not elaborated on that point. He paced the balcony of his room, repeating the words Grey Warden over and over in his head until they lost all meaning. Suddenly, the perfect book came to him, and he walked over to the bookcase that housed his choice for Rook’s first foray into literature.

The History of Grey Wardens in Ferelden by Ferdinand Genitivi. There was a reason he was one of the most popular authors in Thedas- his writing style was approachable, but engaging. And the subject matter was relevant, given Rook’s background. While she seemed to react to most things with amusement, when speaking about the Wardens, her demeanor changed. She spoke seriously, with passion and conviction, her connection in the institution clearly going deeper than ideology. Emmrich wasn’t sure what her life was like before joining the Wardens, or the circumstances that led to her recruitment. When he had asked where she was from during their initial journey in the Necropolis, she said she had trained in the Anderfels, but offered nothing about her origins. As curious as he was about Rook, he knew that if a Grey Warden didn’t freely offer information about their past, it wasn’t a good idea to inquire further.

A knock sounded on his door. He peered out over the balcony, searching for Manfred on the floor below before remembering he had left earlier in the night to watch Lucanis cook dinner. Tucking the book underneath his arm, he rushed down the stairs to open the door for Rook. She stood in the hallway, hands on her hips, a small smile on her face. Despite her diminutive size, her presence dominated whatever room she was in. 

“Welcome, Rook!” he greeted her, the excitement over having a new student starting to build in him. As much as he had been enjoying his time away from the Necropolis, he couldn't help but miss the comforting routine of academia. She strode into the room, taking in the mess he had left when finding the perfect book for her. Turning towards him, she raised a questioning eyebrow, and embarrassment began to burn over his face. In his single-minded focus to find a suitable text for Rook, he had neglected to clean up after himself. “I apologize for the state of the room, I suppose I lost track of time.”

“Professor,” Rook laughed, “I promise you I’ve seen worse living situations than this.” 

“Emmrich is just fine. This isn’t a setting that demands formality.” 

“But it’s such a fun word! And I’ve never gotten the chance to use it before!” Rook argued, putting on a playful frown. “Let me at least use it while you’re actually teaching me.” She took a seat next to his desk, staring expectantly at him.

“If you wish.” Emmrich gave a slight laugh before sitting at his desk, opposite to Rook, and handing her the book. As Rook stared at the cover, he realized he didn’t actually know how much she could read. Previously, she had simply said she couldn’t read “well”, but that wasn’t a very useful description. If he underestimated her abilities, he ran the risk of appearing condescending, which is that last thing a teacher should be. Overestimating her, on the other hand, would leave her without the instructional support she needed, and if she felt too shy to ask for help when she needed it-

“I don’t know what that says.” Rook said bluntly, interrupting his overthinking, pointing to the word Ferelden on the cover. “I know the words Grey Warden. Obviously. I’ve seen those enough. But I don’t know what a Feer-... a Far-...” she narrowed her eyes as she stared at the text, her finger running over the word as she tried to sound out the syllables. 

“Take it one part at a time.” Emmrich instructed, motioning for her to hand the book to him. He laid it flat on the desk, placing his hand over the word so only the letters “Fe” were showing. Once she read the syllable correctly, he moved onto the second, and the third. “Now string them together.”

“Ferelden... Oh! I know that, that’s where Harding’s from!” Rook grinned, joy from her accomplishment radiating off of her. Emmrich smiled, the familiar sense of satisfaction gained from watching a student succeed filling his chest. “One part at a time.” Rook reminded herself as she grabbed the book that lay between them and opened it to the first page. She settled back into her chair, tracing her finger over the lines of text slowly, silently mouthing the words to herself. Emmrich picked up his own book, a study of the aftermath of the Breach.

They spent the rest of the evening in a similar manner. Rook would stumble across a word or passage she struggled with, and would ask for help without hesitation or shame. After a bit of help, she would figure it out, celebrate for a moment, then dive back into the book. Eventually, Manfred returned, delivering a cup of coffee to Rook from Lucanis. A comfortable silence settled over the room, the only interruptions being the occasional question from Rook and the turning of pages. Emmrich peered out over the top of his own book, studying Rook. She was curled up in his chair, intently studying the book while hugging her cup of coffee, unaware of his observation. The contrast between the force of nature she was on the battlefield to who she was in the moments she thought nobody was paying attention to her was striking. He hadn’t gotten many chances to interact with her past the visit she paid to the Necropolis to recruit him. But here, without her armor and weapons, without the demands of the outside world, she radiated a sense of calm he had yet to observe elsewhere.

The colors of the Fade outside began to shift from pinks and oranges to a muted purple, which was the closest approximation to a sunset they got at the Lighthouse. As the light in the room shifted, the glow of his candles fighting off the falling darkness, Rook looked up from her book towards him.

“Emmrich… thank you.” Rook said gently. “Not just for teaching me, but for being so nice about it. I was never really embarrassed about not being able to read until I joined up with Varric and realized it was strange. So, thank you for not making me feel weird about it.”

“Of course! You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He reassured her, setting down his book to give her his undivided attention. “How are you liking the book?”

“It’s good! Makes me want to read about Wardens in the Free Marches.”

“Why the Free Marches?”

“That’s where I’m from. Grew up in the alienage in Tantervale.”

“I’m certain I can find it for you.” Emmrich smiled, gratified by Rook’s desire to delve deeper into the subject matter. 

“I should probably try to get some sleep. Would it be okay if I took this with me?” Rook tentatively questioned, holding the book up expectantly. He nodded, and she smiled, hugging it close to her. It was difficult to not be charmed by her mannerisms. Among other things. “You do realize I’m going to be bugging you with a lot of questions, right?” 

“I was hoping you would.”

[pruskita]

Does anyone remember this design!!?

Well I already have Lore about this design and what happens?

It all starts with Taranza, desperate for what happened to his wife, tries to bring her back to life, using necromancy and the remains of her that were left, and using the dimensional mirror to bring part of his soul back, Even though I was doing it in secret The people in the mirror told him it was going to be a bad idea and he ignored them.

He brought her love back to life, but she is no longer herself. She is now just an amalgam of everything she brought with her, a being in complete suffering who has no reason for herself, the only thing she wants is to accomplish ending everything. And creating terror in the mirror world and only destruction in the real world.

This is basically their color scheme, the flower is supposed to be based on the Dreamstalk Only since I didn't take the reference from her I was wrong in making it

Also her eyes/athens They are based on the parasite Leucochloridium paradoxum That infects snails and goes straight to their eyes Tot be attractive to their predators A pair of hands hold her tightly, which are the ones that guide the body.

The face or well what remains of it is actually the dimensional mirror, only it is fused to her body A pair of her hands tartan to tear it off in an intense to return her individual and They will always be taking out a black liquid

Basically it's a fusion of Sectonia (the spider and wife of Taranza), Joronia (the wasp and royal gardener in her life, until Sectonia killed her and used her body), the Dreamstalk That still preserves part of Sectonia's body, the dimensional mirror that had broken parts of Sectonia's soul and necromancy that Taranza learned when studying Necrodeus

By the way, don't let that fusion get close to Kirby, a large part of his "consciousness" has hatred towards her, that's why if he sees her the first thing he tries to do is make her pay for what she did to him and kill her, with Taranza, well he is devastated to see that his attempt to bring her back to life turned out to be a condemnation for his love.

[rogloptimist]

the gears are turning (bad)

okay. picture this for me. canaan house + project lyctorhood but i ruin it by adding rpf

dunno how it ends (or starts honestly because who am i gonna make god…) but uhh tadej and jonas consume each other and achieve partial lyctorhood and are existing in weird ass stasis in which parts of their souls are permanently embedded in the other

primoz:

9th house necromancer

he don’t got no cav because he’s super special

was born into the ninth as a non adept (non necro) when there were no necromancers left on the ninth except the reverend mother and father

raised with the sole purpose of becoming the 9th house cavalier with the expectation that a necromancer would be conceived due to his talents w rapier (this is the ski jumping btw)

in a last ditch effort to conceive a necro heir, rev. mother and father do The Ritual (they kill a bunch of babies to harness tre death energy to ensure that the child is conceived as a necromancer) with primoz as an anchor of sorts

do y’all remember how john killed everyone? picture that for me. primoz can feel the thanergy (death energy) bloom slipping away because the ritual starts going wrong, and in an act of desperation he grabs it and it basically radioactive spider’s him; the thanergy bloom turns him into a necro

HOWEVER he basically is being electrocuted with death-energy (thanergy) so he reaches out and accidentally puts the entirety of the 9th’s population’s souls in stasis by chucking them out somewhere unknown

freaks the fuck out and assumes position as reverend of the ninth and pretends everything is fine

brief detour he spends some time at the 6th (this is visma!!!) but the collectivist hivemind drives him insane and he wants out. now he’s alone seeking a necromantic solution to basically murdering his whole planet because he needs to prove that it was worth it (switching from ski jumping to cycling but not being able to quite touch the top, he didn’t do this all for nothing etc etc)

crazy crazy crazy relationship with god harrowhark style ! catholic guilt goes crazy

tadej:

8th house (i know it’s weird but trust) necromancer

adam is his cav- i will talk more about this later

specializes in soul siphoning, i.e. slurping up your cavalier’s soul out of their body and using the vacuum to generate power temporarily (cannibalism metaphors do you get ittt)

weird shit with consumption. he’s obsessed with transcending the limits of the flesh to become closer to god

first time he tried soul siphoning he actually killed the cav because he took it too far!

i also think it would be silly and fun if he consumed his own flesh ianthe/babs style while performing necromancy

sicko christian (everyone on the 8th thinks he’s a heretic, everyone else think’s he’s a nun, it’s actually a secret third thing somewhat adjacent to a communion kink)

controversial within his house for being too flashy (tl dr the 8th house is basically a cult with their interior design done by mr clean), ambitious and dangerous with his necromantic practices

rest of the necro’s don’t really know who he is? they all know he’s weird for an 8th, but not how or why. he’s also particularly intrigued by jonas

would be fun if he was god’s son like literally gideon style

jonas

6th house necromancer

cavalier is matteo (or wout? i’m conflicted. but also i want there to be a scene where matteo tells him you did everything that matters)

specializes in that thing where they read the bones and necromantic remains for death signatures. yeah rhat

born and raised on 6th, unusually high pool in his age group and didn’t show much promise for becoming a warden until recent years. was not expected to be heir to the 6th, people still haven’t gotten used to it (constant underdog narrative we stay winning)

people didn’t like him on 6th for supposed undercompetence, outside of the 6th they all think he’s a boring necro (too by the book)

he starts counting the doors first. just so you know

was friends with primoz while he spent his time on the sixth but grew apart after he went back to the ninth- still is unsure about tf is going on with him, also knew that he defo was not a necromancer before but keeps his mouth shut

tadej finds him particularly interesting, doesn’t buy the calculating librarian look that the 6th house puts forward. thinks he wants something more

remco:

4th house necromancer

from the second but family is fourth, was raised in the cohort

struggled with tight restrictions of the second, was hailed as a prodigy in combat as a child and wanted to serve first line w cohort but was sidelined in teens in command structure, returns to his father’s birthplace the fourth

there he learns the fourth specialty of using thanergy spikes to explode shit and gets really good at it very fast

climbs the ranks of the fourth and becomes heir, but is looked down upon by older cohort members for youth and hotheadedness

weird obsession with proving everyone wrong that needs to be studied in a lab

dunno who the cav is sorry 😔 i think it would be kind of hilarious if it was wout (viva la belgium) and he and jonas keep making eyes from across the room wishing to go back to their beehive days

mathieu/jasper

from 3rd house, jasper is necro and mathieu is cavalier

mathieu comes from a long ass line of cavaliers and was expected to become cavalier primary from basically birth. luckily he’s very very good with a sword but his dad is crazy!

jasper is a necro, born into 3rd royal family. is known for sheer power but also infamous for inconsistency

specializes in flesh magic, specifically loves working with muscle and tendons

mathieu+jasper raised together (is it brotherhood or are they just fucking. who knows. not them)

honestly very into bitch wife idiot husband why change the canon. keep jasper stupid 2024

adam not the one and only yates:

8th house cavalier

as per 8th practice was genetically engineered to be a match to a necromancies for soul siphoning

in this case, it was with his twin simon and i am totally so normal about the two of them !

however upon birth it was discovered that simon’s necromancy wasn’t perfectly compatible with adam’s- because he wasn’t heir material they didn’t care

but when tadej started as an adept and started sucking up people’s souls like a vacuum they needed someone capable of holding onto the shore of the river (wack ass spirit world) for longer and adam was found to be compatible

loyal to the end, but people all note that he looks faded when with tadej

will of steel or something

my various madman ramblings

[fangsandfeels]

Despite my continuous game criticism, I can't say I don't enjoy how Alruna is shaping up.

The crumbs of fraction interactivity (and companion reactivity) made it possible for her to be that friendly, yet sometimes awkward necromancer who has to learn on the fly and remember that people outside Nevarra have a very different understanding of necromancy, spirits, and magic.

Of course, once Emmrich joined the group, Alruna instantly reverted to her nerd mode, happily theorizing about the Lighthouse, the Fade, and gushing over Manfred until Harding pointed out that she speaks a lot more differently when she is with her colleague.

"I do not do such a--I don't do that"

(that was a nice addition, not gonna lie)

Alruna is certainly not ashamed of her background. She is proud of being part of the Mourn Watch, of what they do. However, she just knows that people won't get any more comfortable about her calling if she keeps talking about it all the time, so she prefers to be the listener, not the talker most of the time. Surprisingly, Emmrich wasn't an exception: Alruna didn't expect him to confide in her about his fear of death. And she wasn't sure how to comfort him.

She truly doesn't worry about death: she was found as a baby nobody expected to even be alive. Not crying, not breathing, going cold - with clear and bloody traces of somebody obviously trying to cut her open. She wasn't supposed to make it.

She doesn't remember it at all.

A couple of times, she eavesdropped on some of the Watchers, arguing about her origins in hushed tones: some theorized she was supposed to be someone's unethical experiment, but that someone might have gotten interrupted and decided to hide her deeper in the crypt.

Some said she might have been a result of an affair that some noble tried to bury in their family crypt - quite possible, the poor sod who was sent to do the deed, got themselves lost in the Grand Necropolis.

It doesn't matter to her, really. The Grand Necropolis was her home in life, it will be her berth in death - and that thought was comforting enough. In her life tending to the dead and performing the rites, Alruna found peace in the thought of joining that cozy alley one day. Maybe, becoming one of the curious wisps, messing with the newbies and following Watchers. Wouldn't that be nice?

Also, from her studies Alruna knows that there are things much worse than death. The kind that keep you suffering, contort and twist your body, while not letting you go. Never letting you go.

This is what truly terrifying to her.

But, she decided she will do what she could for not just a respected colleague and a fellow Watcher, but also a good and kind friend who reminds her so much of one of her mentors in charge of her training.

(Helping Emmrich also means keeping Taash and their juvenile prodding away from the good professor. Literally grabbing Emmrich's elbow and nudging him away for some urgent consultation, while giving them the "Don't talk to me or my great necromancer uncle or my skeleton cousin ever again" glare.)

[llamamamarisen92]

Grief in Waterdeep - Madness

TW: Grief, loss, anger, 18+, depressing

Gale gazed up at the shelves of books while he sat on the floor. He scanned the shelf. Eyes landing on an ancient tome. A grimoire they found on their adventures. He stood up, fatigue weighing heavy on his limbs. He grabbed the book and began scanning through the pages. Reading until he landed on a page with a familiar symbol. It was the resurrection symbol from Moonrise towers.

He read the page intently, it described an arcane ritual of resurrection. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as he contemplated the ritual. Perhaps.... no. He closed the book and set it down on his desk. It was a foolish notion. He set his ambitions for power aside when he surrendered the crown to Mystra.

He glanced at the space that used to house an altar for Mystra. His face hardened as he spat in it's direction.

"I sacrificed the crown. I did the right thing." He picked up his whiskey glass and threw it against the wall. It shattered dramatically. "She was supposed to live. She deserved a long and happy life. A life by my side as my wife."

He stalked menacingly around the room. Hatred and bitterness beginning to take root in place of his grief.

"My wife, my Helena. Stolen in a moment that should have been our greatest joy." He closed his eyes trying to block out images of her bleeding to death as she died in child birth. He shivered with the intensity of his building rage. He opened his eyes, looking again at the grimoire on his desk.

"If I was a god, perhaps I could have brought her back or granted her some form of immortality." He picked the book up again and settled at his desk. The crown of Karsus was not the only means in which to obtain the power to bring her back. He had never practiced any form of necromancy. Always making sure to keep his magic above board. He thought back to a memory of them entering the shadow lands for the first time.

"Could you perform shadow magic?" She asked him curiously.

"Now that, that's an interesting question. Of course I could wield it. I've not found a form of magic I was not a born natural at wielding."

He choked down a sob as he remembered the sound of her voice. Perhaps it was time for him to set aside his self righteousness and do something.

To be continued.

[tarot-winds]

Creature Fright.

What I did understand, was that we were forbidden as witches and always were. We were meant to be hidden. There wasn't a moment in time when we were free to express ourselves without the risk of death or exile. Which left me terrified of my existence as a witch. Not really original but mentionable. The rest of the students have left. Seemingly. Unbeknownst to me, a student was standing in the hallway. There they stood watching me sit stupidly. Almost calling out to me. However they held their tongue. I awkwardly walked up to the desk the professor occupied. Mr. Everett glanced at me and then smiled kindly; before asking if there was something I needed. I nodded my head and stammered out my question without thinking.

"What is a witch? I mean outside of something from tv or movies? I'm struggling to understand this stuff?!"

The way the professor talked about witches was as if we weren't human, but witch, a different thing than what I once knew to be true. As I was raised to believe I'm quite human. I needed to know if I was human. If not, what was it that I am?

"That's a very good question. One that we will answer throughout the semester. But if you are asking for my opinion. There is no reason to question that. You are a witch. Like me. Like everyone else here."

"Yes. But am I human?"

"DNA wise... maybe. However that question is rather complicated. Socially, outside of here you should try to assimilate to humans... well that should answer my view. I'm a witch. Not human. Fortunately."

"I was right. I was under the assumption I am not human. That's just great. I'm just some creature?!"

"Now I'll stop you right there! We aren't creatures. Don't ever say that again. We are witches. We must remember to separate ourselves from those that aren't like us. Especially things like, creatures. Pardon my tone. I just want to ensure that my students understand who we are and where we have been. I hope that my lesson helped with that."

"That sounds like elitism. Saying we are above creatures. But we sort of live amongst them? They do exist... which is mind boggling in itself. And where are they? I mean it makes no sense. "

"Don't worry about the creatures. They are not your concern. I can admit that we are elite, in my opinion. We aren't them. As many must love underground. But we aren't human either. There is a hierarchy at play. We are on it. If you were to ask me, we should be above it, but we are under humans. I'd spit, but that's unneeded. They once lorded over us. Tearing into us until we are nearly extinct. Were you listening to my sermon? I'd say they are creatures. They sure act like them. Killing us."

"Yes, sir. I enjoyed your lesson but it scared me even more. Especially because it drilled into my head that I'm to be hidden and scared for my life. "

"Especially for someone so new to this world. That fear you feel, as our ancestors felt, is your magic. We must be careful! But ultimately magic is meant to be wonderful."

"Between you and I, I fear that being a witch isn't exactly a great thing."

"Don't get me wrong; don't let my fear-mongering of the past get into your head. As long as you don't abuse your magic and get caught by the humans. You're good. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly has you so afraid of yourself? You're a witch for crying out loud!"

"Everything. That's what has me so fearful."

"Could you be more specific?"

"I'm not supposed to tell. But it's killing me. Sir. I'm a necromancer...as for how I got here, I experienced death. Its hands are cold on me. I don't feel well. This lesson made me feel worse. Our history is entirely different..."

"Ah, I see. I do apologize. That wasn't my intention to frighten you. Although. I shall say you of all people should be afraid. I have no prejudice against you or she. Speaking of the headmistress, you'd do better to ask her these questions as necromancy has a deep vein in our society as witches. However, I'm not equipped to discuss it off the top of my head and I don't want to. Don't worry I won't say anything to anyone. As unfortunate as your situation is, honestly do some research on necromancy and our history. Your craft was used to heal. It was feared greatly by the Roman Empire and was stamped out. If you'd excuse me. I do have other things to attend to." He eyes me wearily as if I'd catch flame. As if a witch Hunter would just burst in.

I promptly left that classroom and immediately bounded upstairs to my bedroom to unwind my thoughts.

The pair of ears that heard the conversation between the professor and I knew I was a necromancer. Once in my room, I held back tears. I'm the 'living dead'. I sound as if I'm being overdramatic about the situation. However, I'm not. I want my old life back...At the forefront of my mind was that I was not human, tears straining down my cheeks. An ugly hiccup burst from my chest as I sobbed. After about a good ten minutes I finally passed out with all my makeup smeared. When I awoke later, I wasn't alone, two people were in my room going through my closet. For a second I just laid there as they perused, tossing clothes this way and that way, all while they chatted quietly about the lack of fashion taste. What the fuck?!

There's that feeling again. The surreality of this situation made my head spin. I sat up and my head throbbed. They finally noticed me. The beefy man known as Sebastian turned to speak to me amusedly.

"Well, look if it isn't the death witch back from purgatory. Get dressed!"

The deaf girl, Luna, if I remember correctly, tossed something from my closet and made a loud annoyed sound. It was a pair of Madden platform boots. Sebastian ordered me up from bed and forced me into my bathroom where they went to work. Plucking and pruning at me until I resembled something they deemed worthy to be seen with. You heard me. I was going out. The student who overheard my conversation with Professor Everett was Sebastian. He immediately ran to discuss this with Luna. Tattling of a sort. Together they decided to take me out on the town after hearing my mental breakdown. Can't have a suicide case, Luna comments.

That and their wanting to ask questions. I felt odd but agreed. The night just beginning, our feet pounding the pavement of the French Quarter. The raunchy crowd began to gather. We ended up at some pop-up bar. While they began to liquor themselves up and let loose. I intended to listen to music and dance. Sebastian and Luna eventually caught on to me not drinking and slowed. We were leaving the pop-up bar in search of food. They were more than tipsy, so I was in charge of directing us around. We ended up in some alley where a food truck was selling bomb street food. I thought the night was ending after we scarfed down. Although Luna dragged us around the streets as music played. She was dancing and laughing to the beat of some drums. Almost as if she was possessed by the music. A partner caught her and joined her rhythm. Sebastian stood next to me with a cigarette billowing.

Without much care for niceties, Sebastian asked how I died. It caught me off guard. I choked up a bit on my words. My tongue is dry. I wet my lips and then retold the tale. Each moment passed as I spoke about my passing. By the end, Sebastian needed a second. He took my hand and led me to the center of the street. His arms wrapped around my waist and we danced closely together. His head craned down to whisper in my ear. He apologized for the pain I suffered and promised a night of remembrance. A kiss on my hairline and we were off. Luna, Sebastian, and I ended up at another bar. A jazz bar, filled with smoke and the stench of liquor. However, there was something different about this bar. I was told not to ask too many questions about the owner. When I asked why that was. Luna reiterated that I couldn't tell anyone that we were there. It's a secret that I promised to keep for them. They grabbed a booth but they ordered me to get their drinks. A whiskey sour, and a margarita. For me, I just wanted a club soda with cranberry and lime. As I waited to order, I was mesmerized by the bartender.

He was tall. Taller than expected. Thin and handsome. Long ponytail length auburn hair hung in waves. However, that's not what caught my attention. His eyes were mesmerizing. A pale smoke grey. His face was covered in freckles. A cute dimple. A crooked Roman nose. A small uneven pout. I glanced further down his appearance. A patch of red chest hair is exposed under a white v-neck. I was drawn to a linked chain that held a dog tag with an inscription of a name. E. Mason.

"What can I get ya?"

His voice rumbled along with the sound of the music. I rambled off my order and he carefully prepared each drink. I waved the others over and they appeared more than happy to greet the beautiful man. Sebastian paid the bill and we walked away. I held a small chuckle back as Sebastian commented on my flush. It was off though, he mentioned not letting the bartender see the evidence. Even though we were far enough he couldn't tell I was flustered by his presence anymore. We entered our booth and chatted

"So, what did you think?"

"Huh?"

"Of the creature? You asked Everett about creatures. Well. There's one over there and I know what I think of him. But I'd never dalliance."

"What are you talking about?"

Luna began to sign. Her hands moved quickly as she spoke to her friend and explained something. He reiterated himself and explained that I had just met a vampire. I looked around like they were insane. I mean a vampire? What? But they insisted. Apparently, this jazz bar is owned by such a creature. Sebastian heard about the place and he and Luna came to check it out years ago and ever since they come for the music.

"It's kind of our place. You know? We discovered what he was by accident. He keeps our secret and we keep his. As witches, we technically aren't meant to mix. Especially with, them..."

"Vampires?"

"Oh yes. They are a great enemy of ours back in the day. They are pretty much extinct too at this point I think. Vampire hunters. "

I glanced over at the bar again. He wasn't paying attention and was talking to another customer. I couldn't see anything that would expose him as a vampire. No fangs when he spoke to me before. He looked completely normal. He even had a slight tan under the yellowed fluorescent lights. I looked back at the two people across from me and questioned how they knew. Like what happened? I wasn't told anything until we left. So. One night. They were here until closing and saw something they shouldn't have seen. The man feeding on the neck of a poor skinny dog. Which is strange for his kind. It's true vampires feast on humans. Apparently, they feast on witches too. They were on the pecking order. At one point I think they were on top. We hailed a cab back to Blackbriar after walking a block away from the bar. Sabastian and Luna had keys. We entered sort of loudly but soon quieted down and departed our ways. Once alone in my room. Again. I saw the mess of my clothes and thought I'd rather clean it up now. All while I tidied. I felt the spinning thoughts of Mr. Mason tugging at me.

A vampire. Huh? Things are getting stranger and stranger around here. It must have been frightening to see a creature tear into a dog viciously. I couldn't help but imagine it and shudder at the remembrance of my dream. That strange beast? A vampire in its own right. Yet it was shapped much less human like. A monster. Its touch found me again. Chasing me amongst the swamp.

The dream changes each time now. Small things. Such as this particular iteration bog bodies exist. As I ran the bodies bobbed up and down. Occasionally I'd feel a hand brush against me. My screams breathless and rushed as I race against time. It caught me. The teeth of the monster tearing into me. I fought against it most nights but this one. I simply laid there. My body limp and lifeless as I drift under the water. Joining them.

The moments after waking. Left my heart shallow and thready in its beat. A ghostly figure retreating caught my attention. It was a split second but I swear it was a cat racing the floor. Skittering away with the same fear...

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

[windupaidoneus]

hi thistle ! idr if youve talked abt it before but what were ur ideas for hildemet post endwalker ? i remember u posted abt meteion and them after endwalker but i wanted to learn more abt ur thoughts or how the ship develops ! idk if this makes sense i hope it does LOL (@dmclr)

hiii clara :3 ohhh post endwalker. (lies down face first) this one's a real doozy bc i have yet to properly work out the timeline of events... there are two ways it could go & i dont know which i prefer. oh under the cut as per usual. this is actually probably my longest ramble yet LMAO

either hildegarde really did go through with bringing emet back with his own two hands (& aether. & magic. but like it's intentional is what i mean) or emet chose to have another pass at life bc the time spent during post shb/edw up until elpis gave him that want again, & his soul would've held on until a suitable vessel was nearby (so like, very likely one of the solus clones bc he'd rather not go for possession if he can help it lmao). fuck i also thought of the possibility of like... just it happening without either of their direct involvement, maybe something that kinda just happened because of emet's longing but not in the way that he would've actively orchestrated his return so to speak - his soul just doing that i suppose.? because of the power of love sparkle sparkle or something. they all have something good... um.. i started typing before opening the game i think but then i opened the game & now it's like 12 hours later & my head hurts BADDD but i want to answer this.

in the case of hildegarde intentionally bringing him back is. it being intentional is very yummies & good to me. in the sense of defying fate itself & whatnot to bring a loved one back. i am a lameeeee romantic so that shit always gets me..... but at the same time there is a part of me that like, thinks maybe at that point in time it wouldn't be narratively satisfying? since he has messed around with necromancy before then gave up on it it coulddd be interesting to ahve him go back to it bc like he's still a flawed character who does questionable things & all that but this one idk if i want it to be the case all that much. i like when he gets a little fucked up but i dont know about this specific flavour of fucked up... but i DO want emet alive for dt. so much to consider.

for emet willingly coming back... i mean. points at "i am a lameeeee romantic". additionally i think it brings something interesting into play - because the way i see it his death was intentional to start with, the only possible end for someone who had done so much to reach his goal & thus backing down would mean it was all for nothing yet at the same time the awareness all those things he's done were awful, unconscionable, & no amount of work he could've done in the hypothetical rest of his existence would make up for it, in which case death becomes the only suitable consequence for his actions. (there's also a layer of "emet is putting on a performance as a tragic antagonist & is aware of his role within the story to a degree, as he is playing a role of his own volition, making himself more detestable yet likable at the same time in very intentional ways". not all of his endearing traits in shb are intentional but some are, & them being intentional doesn't make them less... genuine? he pulls at the wol's heartstrings or attempts to, but that doesn't make his own longing for the unsundered world any less real, basically. but this isn't relevant right now)

with that in mind if emet were to bring himself back to life fully... well. it would say quite a lot about.. him. as a whole. just. choosing to live once more to be by hildegarde's side, going against his own previous implicit wish for death (which, beyond the whole guilt thing, he probably would've wanted anyway! he'd been alive so fucking long & all of it had been miserable! death was both something he deserved & deliverance.), tearing himself from something that was punishment & relief to trade it for a different kind of punishment & a different kind of relief. living with the things he's done as opposed to being able to just dissolve into the aetherial sea & no longer worry about it all i suppose, but being reunited on more proper, less high stakes & "we have to kill each other" terms with.. pretty much his soulmate. i'm not big on soulmate stuff necessarily but um (gestures at the entirety of the whole thing with emet & azem/the wol in canon) they make it so easy.

oh fuck i got distracted from finishing my custom deliveries before reset oops. well anyway i'm TALKING!

yeah that. he would get to be with one of his biggest motivations for doing all of this in the first place, & while the source is not a perfect world i do genuinely believe he is lying hard as fuck when he pretends he finds no beauty in it. the harsher he says it the more convincing the performance, for everyone & for himself. end of edw cutscene to me says that he does have an actual appreciation for the sundered etheirys, & i also think without zodiark's influence he would be more amenable to properly acknowledging the flaws of the unsundered world as well. now. would he think he deserves to have a happier "second chance"? probably not. but that's where hildegarde's feelings would sway him... how could he not be influenced knowing the one he loves is grieving him so desperately? hilde has lost many, many loved ones & never really learnt to properly deal with his grief because it's just too overwhelming for him to feel. he continuously drowns in it & that'ssss something he has in common with emet for sure. & emet, knowing how horrible it feels (though in his case it was probably worse. still, he's sentimental & also a tank so i know he's got that protectiveness in him ☝️), would likely want to spare hilde that trouble if even a little. he can't bring himself to bring other souls back to life (too similar to what he did with amaurot, probably something he'd like to take some distances from & not recreate too closely...) but he could at least bring himself back. make hilde smile. that would be nice.

now enter the "neither of them did anything about it it just Happened" path. this one is really just reliant on it feeling like an actual miracle. something that would probably bring emet some distress bc oh no he has to deal with all these things now & it's not on his own terms, buuuuuut... miracle of love 🫶 even if to be fair things would definitely be awkward at first. because they wouldn't really know how to approach each other after everything. they would work it out though, it's not unique to this potential timeline of events & they Will work it out no matter what. they have to! it'd be a miracle of love 🫶 all the same. ohh, maybe something kinda like sleeping beauty or something (loose comparison.) in which during the bit in garlemald in post edw hilde would look for the remaining solus clones in the imperial palace (not for any nefarious purposes if we're not looking at the "he does it himself" timeline it's probably just morbid curiosity at that point. also masochism a little honestly) & when chancing upon them emet's like... his soul would always be "near" hilde in some sort of sense, so maybe it could be made to inhabit one of the clones - kind of pulled into it? & yeah. bam. wakes up upon being observed. i don't know! it's an option. they're all options & they're GOOD & i haven't picked one & i don't know what to pick rahhhg. kicks a rock. Whatever... onto the actual answer to the ask now... (wipes forehead) this took a lot of .. preamble? not sure what i'd call that but the yapping before the ACTUALLY relevant yapping

the way they develop (chews on rocks) YAYYYY!! we got there!!! ohhh my god it's so AWKWARD in this room everyone is happy but wants to cry & feels guilty it's kind of beautiful.

emet keeps some reasonable distance & is actually decent at doing it this time since he's not tempered & not trying to get something out of hildegarde. came back for him but does not want to overstep by getting too comfortable too soon. hildegarde on the other hand really badly wants to have conversations & to be more open & vulnerable but he does not know how to even do that voluntarily. with anyone! he's really bad at being vulnerable! he's been able to do it "properly" with nero & cid (nero has big brother privileges so he's the one hilde & various other alters will run to if they are experiencing Too Much of life, & well. cid is cid. kind of cemented himself as an older sibling figure as well, even without taking into account the doozy that is cidnero) & perhaps surprisingly estinien (very detached & to the point, clear cut way of going about things, not judgemental the way others might be because he's not really giving a fuck abt that ascian business. his meatheadedness wins ☝️) but even then it was mostly him reaching a breaking point & having no one else to pretty much drop it all on.

the scions are great but busy all the time & while urianger probably would be best placed to hear of his troubles hilde rarely wants to tell him much of them because urianger's own problems always seem to far outweigh his own, & he doesn't want to put more on his plate. he's close to thancred but thancred would be the least understanding of his woes... & i think he really struggles with approaching y'shtola bc she hasn't exactly been vulnerable with him either. sucks bc he can tell she would probably be a fine person to be straightforward with but just... hasn't come up. he can be vulnerable with aymeric but aymeric is constantly busy & i do strongly believe if he hadn't been so occupied w his desk job they could've had something. he could be vulnerable with haurchefant but WELL. & the scions not mentioned are all younger than him so no way in hell he's relying on them emotionally when for someone as #unwell as him "relying emotionally" comes with SO SO MUCH shit.

i did ignore hancock & that's because i don't like him. (lying) no he can be vulnerable with hancock too on occasion. hancock is detached from this whole world so to be honest i don't think he gives that much of a fuck that hilde is mourning the loss of an evil immortal guy who was also the garlean empire's founder. on a moral level this has got nothing to do with him on an emotional level he's not sure when they ended up getting close enough for hilde to sob in his office about how he can't do anything right & so many people he could've saved he just didn't manage to & it's all his fault blablablah... but sure he'll do the comforting

but but, back to hildemet. it does happen eventually. hilde's not good at being vulnerable on purpose but he's also pretty earnest despite that... so without necessarily overwhelming emet with his emotions & thoughts he is at least capable of going, "hey. i want to talk. have conversations, about anything and everything. about the weather, about everything that happened. i am happy to come home and see you, and to know that i will come home and see you, but there is a gaping pit between us & i want to bridge it. i want to stand on that bridge with you & talk about the pit, how scary it is, & how we're going to overcome it anyway. can we do that? can i step closer to you, & will you return the embrace if i hold you?" which, he will, & he does. & maybe they even have a shared cry about it. emotions really catching up to them in the moment, not realising the extent to which they'd missed & love each other up until they get to really embrace each other fully. i know songs do this to me a lot i'll think i'm fine then suddenly BOOM i'm crying hard as fuck because holy shittt why didn't i tell myself this made me feel THINGS... horrible!

note that no matter the choice made earlier it's more than likely hilde did hold emet when they first reunited, in which case emet would've at most placed one hand on hilde's back without it being an actual hug. he's not really the "outburst of physical affection" type but especially not under such circumstances while he's Just returned & is parsing where he stands on what joys he deserves to experience in his newfound existence. because of course there's that too. he'll indulge if hilde reaches out for it but for a while it is only half-hearted & the guilt eats at him more everytime he leans into it, which fortunately isn't often by that point since hilde is working out how to go about everything. yay!! not very yay okay you got me

BUT THEY WORK ON IT they have to. the weird distance is unbearable & neither of them want it. they understand they now have a chance at this for real, & they have limited time to do it! emet does not have much of a limited lifespan still but he knows he's turning in the moment hilde dies. maybe he'll stay long enough to ensure hilde is remembered & honoured as he feels it should be but like that's It. hilde's gone he's GONE. & until then they get to learn to love each other all over again

which goes pretty great all things considered once the early stages of weird awkwardness are behind them. it would be easier & go faster if they were allowed to settle down properly but you know how it is when you're The WoL. hilde's wol duties can actually be a bit of a cause for concern for emet, which he himself was caught offguard by. probably chastised himself about it a bit too. being worried for the wol?? ridiculous. he's not capable of dying from unnatural consequences it's like he's got plot armor or something (looks into the camera). gets a bit embarrassed about his worries but they don't really go away, & it does lead into him attempting to keep hilde home more often & longer. hilde doesn't really catch onto it until it becomes a little too egregious to ignore but well. when emet expresses reluctantly that ooooo he cares & is worried about him & also a little bit lonely too it actually makes hilde laugh. because that man is CUTE 🫵 & he will in fact tell him just that. to which emet gets "offended" (did not expect a compliment of all things out of that, & compliments when he's not "in control" of a situation are the number 1 way to destabilise him in a harmless way. lest we forget he is the unsundered world's original tsundere) & denies & protests. & it's probably the point where they start acting genuinely more relaxed around each other, & subsequently emet gets less roundabout about keeping hilde around as long as possible.

he also gets the offer to tag along! which he doesn't want necessarily, it's a lot of effort & it would mean being around the scions (he doesn't hate them or anything but well if i was emet i would not want to be around thancred either. just like if i was thancred i would not want to be around emet either) who at this point in time are not aware of emet's presence in hilde's life & also more generally the world lmao. the twins, tataru & krile most certainly have bets on why hilde seems less available & perhaps even a bit flaky & while alphinaud is genuinely worried hilde might finally be crushed by the weight of responsibilities :( (buddy that was an expansion ago catch up) alisaie is like. scary close to the truth. she suspects hilde is trying to settle down but duty keeps getting in the way of it. this gets everyone involved very curious to potentially find out who he's settling down with of course because for some reason they're all willing to entertain that theory. tataru simply wishes hilde isn't trying to settle down with hancock of all people (close! It's Worse)

he takes it up from time to time. bearing a different appearance (keeping his face but he probably wears a face cover around the scions & doesn't speak much) & going by a different name to avoid being recognised, y'shtola absolutely works it out the moment she sees him buttttt that's why emet avoids hanging around if he knows she'll be there lmao her aethersight would clock him instantly

um. yeahg! my fingers hurt from typing this much & also that's like many paragraphs already oops. uhh. yep.! post edw hildemet. they have rough conversations about their respective places in the world & what they deserve & don't deserve to have. sometimes hildegarde gets very upsetting memories from lachesis' life & emet has to be there to ground him. sometimes emet is overwhelmed by the thought of his actions & hilde has to be there to distract him since ruminating won't really change anything.

they're also gossipy queens who go out to big fancy events to comment on the people they don't like there (in hilde's case it'd probably usually be lolorito & gegeruju honestly but it's fine emet can be irritated at minimum by most people for the both of them). they have to take care of each other delicately & they don't always get it right but they gotta keep trying so they do.

emet is a complainer by nature but he also complains in bad faith a lot & is quite unpleasant specifically when he's lying or dancing around the truth, which all remain true to his personality still, however when he allows himself to be entirely truthful & more open he is painfully romantic & loving. not without teasing here & there of course. it's very good for hilde though. getting to be flustered & giggly & just happy after the everything is such a breath of fresh air, very good distraction from the wol shit. he even gets to tease emet back & have it work! love can be so beautiful & augh! they make me sick

emet did not expect the many people hilde's adopted in a found family sense however. he does think he was a little foolish for not expecting it bc. lachesis. wanderer. the guy who makes friends everywhere all the time. but also how was he supposed to expect so many kids were out there calling hilde their big brother or sometimes even "like a dad"..... he's just pickin everybody up off the street at this point & emet's getting a little concerned about the amount of kids he's going to become a bad influence to just by following hilde around. lmao. & ofc the kids love him bc kids fucking love it when there's a guy who's kind of an ass

i keep saying "okay i stop typing there" & then i keep typing SORRY AHHH. i'm not even out of thoughts i just need to end the post somewhere sobs. i really need to sleep 😭 thank yoy so much for the askkkk wah

[just-some-guy-at-shiz]

Soooo… an AU where Elphaba’s emergency life-saving tin spell fails, and that’s it, he’s dead. Totally deceased. Full-stop. All over. No coming back from this one.

Until he does. Because of course he does. We wouldn’t have a plot if he didn’t.

Okay, so two people know about this death, and one of them wants to leave immediately for the Emerald City and leave the other one to clean up her own mess. Given that she’s been in love with Boq for years, Nessa can probably be trusted to perform a decent and respectful burial? And hopefully not do something stupid? At least not the kind of stupid that gets her arrested for murder. Tell people it was sudden spontaneous cardiac arrest, he had a medical condition, then shut up before you say something incriminating. She coulda gotten help with this, easy, but she decides to go out and bury him alone in a storm because she’s dramatic about her grief.

Which gets her out of her house at the time that it’s flattened by another house.

Don’t know how the lack of dead sisters and shoes to give away affects Dorothy and Elphaba and the A plot, don’t care.

Don’t know how Nessa gets her hands on that magic living powder stuff from later Oz books, don’t care.

She does, in fact, get her hands on some Powder of Life. Dunno if she seeks it out on purpose, dunno if she comes across it by chance and her eyes light up with excitement. But she goes out and does a little necromancy with her shiny new beginners’ reanimation kit.

So Boq’s back. He didn't get a chance to rot too much, and any rotting that did get done is healed pretty quickly by the Powder of Life because reasons. Still no heart, so no pulse, but I think we’re assuming that the magic gets all his other organs working normally again? It could be an interesting road to take if he’s still rotting, because again, you cannot have Boq without a little transformation body horror (unless you’re reading the novel I guess). How do you deal with literally falling apart while you’re still alive? Beyond the psychological effect, what are the practical difficulties? Looking from a scientific standpoint? But I digress.

If this went rather the same as in canon, with Boq screaming in horror and running and Nessa yelling that he should blame Elphaba, then we’re going to have to go with the rotting zombie option, and learning to deal with that is the plot. But if he’s back to normal (mostly) and feeling fine, then the plot is gaslighting.

Here’s how it goes. It’s a little too convenient, but stick with me. During physical decay, there’s a decay of memories, in reverse chronological order, obviously. So when Boq gets brought back from the dead, he’s lost all of the past like… how many years? Around three? It’d be a little too unbelievable for the last thing he remembers to be the Ozdust Ballroom, but at any rate, In his mind he barely knows Nessa, and he is supposed to be in an agriculture class right this second what is happening??

Nessa puts two and two together in the blink of an eye and doesn’t hesitate to take advantage of this. She tells him he’s got a head injury and apparently amnesia but it’s okay, she’ll fill him in on everything. And yes they’re dating, he asked her out in college and is very much in love with her and was probably about to propose, definitely. And no, she has no relation whatsoever to the evil Wicked Witch that is a thing now by the way, why would you think that? And yes you have a pulse, you must just be bad at finding it, it’s plain as day to me, don’t worry about it.

That’s it. That’s all I have for plot. Just a very easy opportunity for gaslighting. Nessa barely even has to try. I’m kind of hoping Elphaba is going to swoop in at some point and set the record straight. Maybe when she comes after hearing about the house-flattens-house thing, worried about Nessa. She’ll show up and see Boq willingly holding Nessa’s hand and know that something is very deeply wrong. And then she’ll remember that Boq is supposed to be dead, she watched him die, which makes it even more unlikely that he’d be standing there holding Nessa’s hand.

If I’m going to put Boq in this scenario, then the least I can do is send Elphaba to get him out of it once all the gaslighting has gotten as interesting as it can be and we’re ready to move on with the plot. Because it would be AWFUL if he never learned the truth.

But still. He doesn’t remember “the truth,” and he’s been spending weeks growing to love Nessa because he doesn’t have any reason not to. Even when he’s told what she’s done, he no longer has the emotions and experiences to connect that truth to, so they might not matter as much as what he knows he’s feeling right now. When he’s faced with an uncomfortable reality about the one person he trusts more than anyone.. is he really going to decide to do anything differently?

He’s always preferred a comforting lie…

[mareenavee]

For the positivity asks!!! I remembered!

3. One of the best takes you’ve ever seen 6. Ship or platonic relationship that you got into because of the fans 17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think.

OH HELLO FRIENMBD <3 Let me do a positivity one first today!

Positivity Asks from this game right here.

3. One of the best takes you’ve ever seen

Since I've been YELLING all over tumblr about their work all day, for some reason ( :> ) I'm going to talk about @paraparadigm and @polypolymorph 's Soul Magic in Gathering Souls. (It's NECROMANCY!!!!!! I said I'd yell with ya'll.) Actually. Let me just.... let me let it speak for itself.

From Gathering Souls, Chapter 8: The moth’s soul was tiny—the smallest of flutters, like a gust of breath on one’s cheek. The moment of absorption would have been easy to miss had she not been vigilant to it. It came in a brief flash—a world illuminated, wrought in light of impossible complexity, shadows infinitely richer and more nuanced than hers where its perception stretched beyond her human spectrum. It was pure, unmuddled will, or perhaps pure desire—the moth noticed, therefore it went, with no separation between the doing and the doer, the subject and the object. Its pain was keen, yet brief. There had been neither fear, nor surprise, and she had to keep herself still as a pane of glass to avoid smearing it with her own reaction. She cradled the little thing, the feeling of it like some precious splinter she was loathe to break even as it buried itself in skin and flesh, then deeper until it slowed, suspended in the vast void she only noticed when she came into contact with whatever it was that constituted a being’s soul.

Augh. Just read the series and thank me later.

6. Ship or platonic relationship that you got into because of the fans.

The fans? Hmmmmmm. It's a good one. I really have to think about this one because obviously LDB / or LDB & fics are very common. But less so NPC/NPC. So I'm actually going to talk about a ship I didn't know I needed, or that other people needed, and still am baffled ya'll were behind something that, yes, originally started out as a hellship. I'm talking about Teldryn/Athis. (Ceth, augh your art. I love it. It's here for those wondering.) This ship has spawned two and a half stories so far and I really hope more people pick this ship or platonic relationship up. It works in its weird little way and the people who loved them and read my writing (the fans!) make me want to keep writing more of that.

17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think.

I usually am pretty transparent about what I love in fandom. I suppose what I don't say often is that while I don't read pwp, there are a great many fics that feature some degree of smut that has to do with the plot of the story, most of the time. I'll usually read through it unaffected, though, to be perfectly frank. ("Ah yes, good on ya, woo, you did it, now what's the next part of the story...?")

People assume because of my aceness that it affects me in some negative way. It doesn't. I just find it generally incredibly dull LOL. But there are a few pieces where it makes perfect sense to be happening, for the characters. When it's not in there for shock value, then it's good. Even better if it's more psychological, ie -- the less actually said, the more vivid? If that makes sense. No ikea manuals here, pff. No thanks, I know and I'm more than over it.

[i-like-anything-water]

A bit sad you're taking a break from Chloenette, but I can get why. There's not enough love for it...

Anyway, since Chloenette's off the table, what do you think about a Wenclair AU where they end up becoming Superheroes (asks the Superhero fan)? For a bit of added irony (would it be irony?), it's all Wednesday's idea.

Hello

It's not really a break, more of me kind of cringing at myself because I keep seeing my own posts (nothing wrong, I'm just awkward xD) but I will keep on posting about them. They're my babies.

Funnily enough, Wenclair superhero AU is just them having a miraculous. Mlb x Wednesday fic, Chloe is an Addams although they're pretty far so she wasn't told about it until they had to meet for a very important event (still deciding on what it is).

Anyways, Chloe is still Queen Bee and Marinette is still Ladybug so I won't use that for the Wednesday squad. Here's my thoughts tho:

Wednesday with the Peafowl. I was thinking of the Butterfly but I find it more suitable for Shinobu (a character from a different fandom). Peafowl since Wednesday has vast knowledge about supernatural beings and well, she likes to experiment. She also likes anything with a 'monster' to it, taxidermy, necromancy probably, plus she can create a playmate or friend for Thing so win-win.

For Enid I'm confused. I was planning for the dog (lmao) just for laughs but the Dog Miraculous won't be too compatible with her. Although I can see her using it whenever she's forgotten something and she's too lazy to find it. The other miraculous for her would be the Cat Miraculous. She and Plagg would be hilarious, especially Plagg's love for stinky cheese and Enid has a very sensitive nose. But mostly because she's still queasy about her destructive habits and Plagg explains to her that destruction is important for it balances out the other concepts of the universe.

Also, the cat costume. I rest my case.

Yoko I'd probably give her Trixx. Personalities match plus she can have an illusion do her bidding like getting some stuff while it's hot outside or she doesn't feel like it. Also, my hc is Yoko knows people well (having to live longer than most people) and can easily copy others if needed.

Bianca I'd give her Sass. Observant, smart, leader type and a strategist. A perfect combination for the snake's powers. They'll have tea and discuss homework or history probably.

Also Sass may or may not let her use his power to insult her mother without her remembering lmao. "Bitch." "Excuse me-" "Second Chance."

Divina gets the Tiger miraculous. I hc her as someone who punches the living daylight out of anyone lmao.

Kent gets the Horse miraculous because he's needed a lot (esp by Bianca). Also, him and Kaalki go get boba and pedicures (Kaalki gets to choose the colors).

Xavier gets the goat miraculous. I will not say more.

Ajax gets the monkey miraculous. He's high most times so it won't really affect his powers (might even make them more ridiculous therefore more effective).

Eugene, best boi. Look I know he's supposed to get the Bee but that's for Chloe so I'm giving him the rooster miraculous. He's smart and just like Wednesday, knows a lot of stuff therefore can make up powers easily without affecting the other holders or duplicating.

Tyler gets no bitches. Jk. Hmmm, I'll probably give him the Pig Kwami. He's good with words, he suddenly gets the power to know people's desires. Bam. Master manipulator.

I think that's all the Wednesday squad. That's just my preference of the Kwami pairings of course, I'm curious about anyone's thoughts about it. Also, Chlonette isn't off the table. You can still send asks about them, I'm just gonna divide my time for all three of my ships because I feel like an absent father *sobs* forgive me, my children.

Anyways, thanks for the ask!

[serafiel-jacobs]

Porcelain (FANFIC)

New Chapter of my angst fic series 💜

Romeo screwed up, but he has no one else to blame but himself, he tried to convince Carlo to leave again, he hasn’t done it in such a long time and Carlo didn’t take it well, he was hysterical, even more than usual, until like aways he tires himself out to keep going, he finally ended up fainting, he carried Carlo back to their room and laid him to bed, he leaves him alone, he walks a few steps to the living room, where he sees Geppetto sitting, waiting for him, Romeo knows that he heard what was said.

He just stares at him, Romeo knows that he is in trouble and that he should have kept his mouth shut.

“Romeo please sit down, I just want to talk,” Geppetto says to him, Romeo obliges, he knows what Geppetto is capable of, he takes a seat on the large couch of the living room, looking directly at Geppetto.

“You aren’t in trouble”

Romeo wants to believe him but he is still skeptical.

“I know that the situation we are in is not ideal” Geppetto had started his speech. “But I can’t let the two of you leave, you know that”

He knows that he knows that he and Carlo are supposed to be dead and whatever necromancy bullshit Geppetto pulled on them wouldn’t be seen favorably by others.

“I’m sorry, I was just… frustrated” Romeo isn’t really sorry but he has to ask for forgiveness, he doesn’t want to make this harder on himself.

“It’s okay I understand, I know that at first the way I treated you wasn’t the best”

“Yeah, I didn’t like being locked in the basement” Technically he is still locked inside of here, he just has more freedoms, if you can even call them that.

“Please forgive me, I shouldn’t have done that” Geppetto is sincere and Romeo hates that, why can’t he just be an evil old man, why does he actually care about him and Carlo?!

Romeo lays down on the couch, he puts his hands up to his face, this is too much, he is feeling overwhelmed, and the fact that he realizes that Carlo feels like this all the time makes it worse because he deeply cares for Carlo and the thought of his friend constantly feeling like this makes him sick.

He can’t do this, he can’t act polite anymore.

“Why couldn’t you have just fucking leave us to die? Why couldn’t you have just let us stay dead?” Romeo doesn’t care that he is swearing anymore, he doesn’t care whatever punishment he decides to give him. “I hate you, I fucking hate you so much, why can’t you let us be free?”

Today is one of those days he really wishes Carlo would kill his father already.

Romeo expected Geppetto to be mad at him, furious, but he just looks at him with a smile, a sweet understanding smile, he gets closer to him and kneels down to his level, gently playing with his hair.

“It’s okay Romeo, I understand that you aren’t feeling well, I’m not mad at you” He isn’t mad at him, and Romeo now feels bad for saying all of that, Geppetto is such a kind man, he takes good care of him, maybe he really does see him like a son.

Romeo uncovers his face, he looks at Geppetto, he looks at his father, and he feels loved by him.

Dear Lord, I sound like Carlo now

But Romeo is starved for affection, so he lets Geppetto, he lets his father keep playing with his hair, he asks for a hug and his father gives it to him.

Romeo needs to feel the touch of others, he still remembers the petrification disease, and he still can feel the complete stiffness of his body, the cold, it was agonizing; he likes being hugged, it makes him feel warmth. He hates being cold, he remembers when, when-

When Pinocchio killed him

And how he felt cold, despite all the fire around him, he was freezing, he thanked him, Romeo thought that it was Carlo who had taken his life, and even when the ice cold of death was unbearable, he had at least died, the pain would be over.

But here he is again, alive, against his will.

He is starting to feel sick again, Romeo starts to shake, he feels cold again, his body is shivering, Geppetto, his father looks at him with a worried expression, and he touches his forehead.

“Mmm it doesn’t feel like you have a fever, but maybe you should go and rest”

Geppetto always does that, every time he or Carlo suffer the grueling pain of what it is to be alive again, and the many conflicting feelings that come with it Geppetto just sends them to bed, as if they are both toddlers.

But he really does need to rest, he is too tired and too cold.

——

Romeo is now in the basement playing with Carlo, he tries to follow along and pretend, but he still feels like he is freezing, Carlo gives him a blanket that was lying around, and he covers himself as well, both are together, Carlo says nothing, but he understands, as he was infected with the disease as well, they stay silent, there is nothing that can be said to make him feel better.

They stay quiet for hours until finally it’s Carlo who speaks up.

“I’m sorry, I… I asked him to bring you back, I shouldn’t have”

Romeo feels as if he was stabbed through the chest, “Carlo don’t say that, please never say that again” Yes this is painful, and he wishes he wasn’t here, he wishes he was dead again but this isn’t Carlo’s fault, and Romeo isn’t going to let him blame himself for it.

Carlo looks at him, he looks at him and there is a deep sorrow in his eyes, he knows why Carlo asked for him to be brought back, he was lonely and alone; no matter how horrible this situation is, he can’t leave Carlo alone, he can’t let him face this by himself.

Romeo only had two friends at Monad, Carlo and Sophia, and he didn’t see Sophia often, partly because their interests were too different and it was rare for them to hang out, especially when he and Carlo started to train to become stalkers; but also because when her parents died her uncle took over, and she was scared, Romeo had promised her that he would be by her side, and he broke that promise.

He has to stay with Carlo, he is and will always be his best friend, they even are brothers now. Romeo already failed Sophia, he failed to be there for her, so he has to be there for Carlo no matter what.

——-

“I… want to hurt myself” That’s a lie, Romeo doesn’t really want to hurt himself, even if he really wishes he was dead; but when Carlo says that Geppetto always gives him more attention, and it works, Romeo is in bed next to his father, who is confronting him and giving him reassuring words.

“You are a brave boy for telling me, for not doing it”

Romeo starts to feel less cold now, the more he gets praised, the better he feels. He never thought that he would have a family like this, he remembers back while studying at Monad how others would mock him for not having a family, he wasn’t the only orphan yet most of his peers had gotten adopted at one point or another, but no one wanted to adopt him, because he was a bad boy and did a lot of things he shouldn’t have, Romeo remembers others telling him how no one would love him because, how can somebody stand him and deal with him? He even overheard some of the faculty members say that he was a lost cause.

“You are my good boy Romeo”

He finally feels warm again, his body has stopped shaking, a deep weight lifted from his shoulders, Romeo wants, needs, more attention, so he asks to be cradled.

You are pathetic you know that?

Romeo knows that this is pathetic, that this isn’t normal, that he is an adult who should be able to care of himself, but at this moment he can’t take care of himself, he desperately needs someone to take care of him, and his father can do that for him.

——-

Carlo is trying to kill Geppetto again, Romeo is watching and for the first time ever he speaks up, he wants to tell him to do it, that if Geppetto dies then all of this will be over, to grow a spine and finally slit his throat.

“Please don’t do it”

Why did I say that?

Carlo stops and drops the knife, he starts crying, constantly repeating that he is horrible and that he is a bad boy. Geppetto is there for him, Carlo has his face buried in his father’s chest; Geppetto looks at Romeo, he looks at him with a smile.

Why did I stop him?

Romeo is freezing again, he wants to take it back, but he can’t take back what he said, Carlo is looking at him now too; Carlo doesn’t say it but he knows exactly what he is thinking, they hate him, they both hate him so much.

But they need him, who else is going to take care of them, who else is going to love them?

Romeo is crying now, he feels as if his body is made of ice, fragile, and about to break at any moment, his vision starts to fog, he closes his eyes and faints, wondering if his body will shatter into dozens of ice fragments.

——

Romeo wakes up, he can tell it’s dawn already, Carlo is sleeping next to him and he can see Geppetto sitting in a chair next to the bed, he looks extremely tired, he most likely hasn’t slept at all due to keeping an eye on both of them.

“Are you feeling better?” Geppetto asks him, he is concerned, unlike Carlo, he doesn’t pass out often, in fact, this is the first time he has lost consciousness.

“No” Maybe physically he feels a bit better, but mentally he hasn’t been this bad.

“Romeo sweetie, you can talk to me about anything,” Geppetto says in that disgusting sweet voice.

“Can you please stop treating me like a child? I’m not a child, I can take care of myself” Romeo doesn’t like being talked to that way.

“Can you really take care of yourself, Romeo?”

Geppetto’s words are simple but still have a cutting edge, Romeo starts to wonder if he is right, he sometimes gets confused like Carlo, he now feels cold all the time and he constantly has to endure being fatigued all the time, his body is stiff, it´s a chore to move even his fingers, they feel hard, it makes him feel rigid; and sometimes, sometimes he thinks this is rigor mortis, he is supposed to be dead after all. But he desperately tries to not think about that, he doesn't want to think of the muscles of his body slowly rotting from the inside.

“It’s not a bad thing if you can’t, it’s not bad to ask for help, and I’m here to protect you” Geppetto looks directly at him again, and Romeo is desperately trying to look for a sign that he is lying, that he an evil bastard who trapped them here so that they could suffer; but he doesn’t see that, why would he make his life harder this way, he is constantly doing his best to make them feel better, he doesn’t fight back when Carlo attacks him, he loses sleep to make sure that of they need help in the night he is there for either of them.

“I… don’t think…” Romeo is stuttering, he no longer feels confident in what he said before.

You are feeble, you are weak and fragile.

“I’m your father and I want to help you” Romeo really is weak because he feels sick and just wants to be told that everything is going to be okay, that all of this will be over soon.

Romeo feels like he is a porcelain doll, that he will shatter at any moment, a doll that needs to be handled delicately, otherwise he will break and he doesn’t want to be broken.

“I feel cold all the time” Romeo finally confessed.

“Then let me help you”

Can he really help him? Geppetto isn’t a doctor, he doubts that he can do anything about it. But Romeo is willing to accept anything at this point.

“Please help me”

——

Romeo has started to feel better, although now he wears a fluffy sweater all the time, it helps when the cold comes back; he tends to feel more sick when it’s deep into the night or when it’s dawn, but after eating breakfast it always dies down, his muscles are more relaxed.

Romeo isn’t stupid, he knows that Geppetto is giving him some sort of sedative in his food so that his body doesn’t feel stiff all the time, he thinks he should be angry at this, but he isn’t, Romeo is happy with just feeling better.

Right now, the three of them are resting on the couch, Geppetto is in the middle and Romeo and Carlo are each on the opposite sides, they are cuddling with him.

“I love you father,” Romeo says and Carlo says it as well, they both love their father.

Geppetto pulls them both closer to him, his precious boys know that they can always rely on him, they have been behaving so well lately, maybe he needs to give them a reward.

Maybe he can let them go outside, briefly, only outside the house, and he isn’t worried that they might try to run away.

He won’t let them run away.

[electionfraudking]

(Takes place several hours before xigbar is brought to bfd)

Xigbar brought the cloak this time. Leaving it behind before was a mistake he wouldn't make twice. Blanket was NOT fuckin' enough.

He hauled the last of the bodies up from the sort of. Morgue/freezer setup Showie had up to the makeshift lab he'd put together under the Kins Storage. He didn't know how far underground he was, but it had to be pretty deep. All the better for human experimentation, he supposed. Not like that's an above ground activity.

He dialed her number on his phone, and she picked up instantly.

“Hey.” She said.

"Hey, doll. Finally got all the bodies down here."

“Great. And you brought the cloak?”

"Yeah. Not doing this without it again. The blanket was nowhere near enough."

“Ha-ha. Got you to admit you didn’t bring the cloak last time even though you said you did.”

"Boooooooo. You suck. Run me through the steps again?"

“You got the body all laid out, yeah?”

"Well. More or less. Kinda just flopped. Carrying a bunch of bodies down here is hard work, okay? Leave me alone." He didn't mean it do NOT leave him alone.

“Okay, okay. Pick one and get it in a separate area. For this experiment we’re gonna revive them over and over and over to see what happens. Run your choice by me, though. No one valuable.”

"Well, the options today are…" He checked the bodies. "Jeremy Heere, Sasha Waybright, Default Mii, Qifrey, and Stede Bonnet. Figured it'd be a good idea to start with the freshest ones."

“Ooooh-kay,” She said, and he heard a tapping noise.

"What's that sound?" He asked.

“Stanley brought me my laptop! I’m taking notes!” Her voice sounded bright. “Anyway, let’s start with,,,,, Stede. Not a teenager and not a non-human. Looking at his historical file there is little of value to lose, memory wise. Additionally, he was in team We Cause Problems.”

"Damn, alright. So I just kill and revive him over and over? How many times, do you think?"

“Take notes each time, maybe ask a set of questions? Record his responses as you go. Maybe,,,, Do you know where you are, do you know who i am, do you know who you are, etc? And keep an eye on his physical form as well. Uh- the kins, they put everyone in hospital gowns, yes?”

"Yeah, they're in the hospital gowns." He looked over the bodies and shook his head in disappointment. "Man, I was hoping Sasha was gonna win that round. I like her. Kid's got guts."

“Well, nothings permanent when you have necromancy!” She said brightly. “We can exclude her from the subject pool and- oh, here’s an idea. Start with her, she’ll be our control. Bring her back once and then set her aside.”

"Works for me." Xigbar grinned. "Perks of being named vice showrunner, huh?" He pulled Sasha aside and set her up to be resurrected.

“Oh, definitely. When this is through we can make you a bracket and switch places.”

"I could make you election fraud queen- we can have matching sashes."

“Maybe that’ll happen in the couple battle? That tournament runner and I had a very nice chat just last night.”

"Ha- why does that make me nervous?" He pulled on the cloak. Gonna remember that every goddamn time now. Hell, he even brought a couple spares.

"Going silent for a minute. Gotta do the thing." He set up the sigil and then lit it. He heard Showie quietly counting down on the other end of the line.

“Okay, get ready~” She said.

The room filled with frigid wind. Most of which went around the cloak, like it had a- No Shit, Xigbar, of course it had a force field. Not like that was Showie’s specialty or anything.

She waited a few more seconds until the real cold hit, then said, “Well, it probably makes you nervous because we were talking about you!”

"You wha-" the words were stolen from his lungs when the Real cold hit. Damn you, Showie. Why does he even work for you. You suck.

“Oh, it was nothing bad,” She said, and he could hear her grin. “15 more seconds until Sasha begins moving!”

"Then why did you say it like that?!" Oh. Cheat code. Breathe THROUGH the cloak. The air is still cold, but it doesn't straight up hurt like that.

“Say it like what?” She said innocently.

Sasha begin to writhe, 15 seconds after that, the air returned to normal and she sat up, gasping.

“The questions,” She reminded him. As if he needed reminding.

"Swear to god, I'm gonna-" Ough. This woman. Xigbar cleared his throat. He grabbed his notepad off the table. "Hey, kid. Can you tell me who you are?"

"S-Sasha Waybright," she responded. Still seeming a bit out of it. Xigbar wrote it all down, the name and her condition.

"And do you know where you are?"

"It was…" Sasha put her face in her hand, like she had a migraine. "Some kind of tournament. White Boy Bracket? I was in a round and-" she looked up, pale. "I died?"

"Sure did, kiddo. But hey, who cares, right? Not like you're still dead!" Never talk to children again.

“That was a bit insensitive,” She said, “Check her physical condition? Mark down any changes you can see and then ask her if anything feels different.”

"Hi, yeah, no?" Sasha snapped, shakily getting to her feet. "No one's checking any of my physical conditions, thanks."

"Kid, chill. You're not getting touched. Just trying to make sure you didn't get fucked up in the resurrection, like some people. One guy didn't have a mouth for a while."

Sasha didn't look convinced. Still, she held her arms out in a T and turned.

"Great. Thanks. Not seeing anything unusual."

"Yeah, no, I could've told you that."

“I did say to ask her.” Showie said.

"Yeah, well, nothing's weird." Sasha rolled her eyes.

"See what I mean?" Xigbar laughed. "The kid's got some balls! Fuckin' love that! Just mouthing off to the Showrunner like it's no biggie!"

“Yeah, well,” Showie said, “There should be a room off to the side. New clothes, food, place to rest. Put her there.”

Xigbar gestured with his head the direction she was supposed to go in. Sasha rolled her eyes again, but went into the designated room.

“Alright,” Showie said, “Pretty successful control. Personality seemed intact, yes?”

"Most personality I've seen from a kid her age in a while." When it came to personality, Roxas and Xion were Not It. At least, not for a while.

“Oh, you should meet Annabeth. Percy, too. But they’re both solidly off limits. If Percy lost, I think I’d rig it. Anyway, onto Stede.”

"Right. So, rinse and repeat with what happened with Sasha, then just kill him again? Just to confirm."

“Yes. Avoid too much blood loss or head trauma, though, Blood loss would only frighten the others once it was their turn. Head trauma could muddy the results.”

"Cauterizing shot through the heart. Got it."

She hummed in agreement. He reset the ritual, this time using Stede, and relit it. Time for cold again. "So if the conversation wasn't 'that bad', then why did you say I should be nervous?" He chuckled.

A sort of evil giggle, “Oh, you don’t need to be nervous.”

Chuckle revoked.

"Okay, now I am nervous."

“No, no it’s fine! We just- you know, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to, so we talked! And it was fine! Now, the cold.”

He was ready this time.

"... You can talk to me-" That came out way more pitiful than he meant. Good job beating the poor little meow meow allegations, Xigbar.

“Not about this,” She laughed, “Anyway, did you put all of Team We Cause Problems into the match? Sasha, Stede- Virgil?”

"Nah, just Sasha and Stede. If I'm going purple, it's gonna be that Afton guy."

“Oooooh,” She said, “Oh, the effects of degradation on him would be fascinating. You know he’s already a living rotting corpse? That’s why he’s purple, he’s decayed! We might even do him a favor, reviving him. Set him right.”

"You want me to save him for when you get back, then? So you can see?"

“Hmm. Yes.” She sounded pleased, “It'll be interesting. He moving now?”

"Yeah, doin' the floppy thing." Don't make a dick joke. Don't make a dick joke. Don't make a dick joke.

“Pfft,” She laughed, “You know what else?”

"What? Did you just-?!"

“Oh, you know! Ah! He awakens!” She said, apparently she had the timing memorized, because Stede did, in fact, Awaken.

"Hang on- did you seriously just make a dick joke-"

“You walked right into it! Now, pay attention to our guest.”

Dear fucking god he was in love.

"Right, ah-" he cleared his throat, and rattled off the questions.

When Stede answered accordingly, Xigbar wrote everything down. Then, without giving him a chance to react, shot him right through the heart. Stede was dead before he hit the ground, and not a single drop of blood spilled. Goddamn he's good.

"Goddamn, I'm good."

“Yeah, yeah. Bring him back. Pretend like the first one didn’t happen, but ask him if he’s seen you recently.”

"Alright, fine."

Run through of the ritual again. Did it Have to be this cold? There is no reason anything should be this cold. Christmastown wasn't even this cold. Stede still answered appropriately. Seemed a little frightened.

Now for the good question.

"Have you seen me at all recently?"

"Y-yes, you just shot me."

"Oh, did I? My bad."

Bang.

Xigbar laughed like it was the best joke he'd seen in forever. It kinda was. I mean, the look on that guy's face? Absolutely priceless.

“Okay, okay, look him over for non-arrowgun damage and then bring him back,” She said, trying not to laugh, “Just turn him over with your foot or something.”

"Alright, alright, just- give me a second-" He needed to calm down. "Fuck, I wish you were here. You should've seen his face when I shot him!"

“I wish we could do video call, but then-” She paused, “But then tu-sais-qui would be able to hear you. And I don't mean, you know. Mon ex-mari. If only I had headphones.”

"Ah, well. When you're here, we can do this again."

Xigbar nudged Stede over, looking him over for wounds. "Well… He's missing an eyebrow, but nothing else."

“Oh, weird. That’s new. Mark it down- that’s near the head, so. Hm. Carry on.”

"Right."

Ran through it again. Still cold. Less bad though. Getting used to it?

From the get go, Stede looked scared. Especially once he laid eyes on Xigbar. Good. Be afraid. Xigbar had barely even opened his mouth before the guy took off running. He made it past him, but not much farther before he slipped and fell. In a moment of total clarity and definitely not panic, Xigbar may have. Accidentally slipped and shot Stede perfectly through the heart again. Whoopsie.

"Oops."

“What happened?”

"So. Totally normal, but uh- I may have jumped the gun. Literally. He tried to make a run for it. Knee jerk reaction, I killed him again."

“Oh. Well. Try not to do that,” She didn’t sound mad, “But we have the answer to at least one question. He definitely remembered you.”

"Tell me about it." Xigbar kicked the body- wait. No wonder he fell. "Dude's got two left feet. No wonder he ate floor."

“What, literally? Bizarre. I wonder if it’s just the degradation or if it’s how soon they’re happening, one after the other. Uh, hm. How unethical are we willing to get?”

"Doll, I'm willing to do a lot more than you'll make me. I'm ready to get downright heinous in here."

“Nothing heinous, just… perhaps a bit psychologically cruel? It would be interesting to see what would happen if we spaced the deaths out a little more. Once a day? Once a week? But I- I wouldn’t want to leave them in that sort of consistent, unending fear. Can you kill subtly? I don’t want them to see it coming. Perhaps we can hook them up to some sort of drip? We do have a hospital room adjacent to the lab… we could tell them that they’re hurt, that it’s a sedative? Pretend they’re in a hospital, so they don’t run? And of course I would work to undo any degradation they experienced once I got back.”

"... Good fucking lord." He needed a second. "You have no idea how hot that was, oh my god."

“W-well now I’m worried, was that worse than just killing them? I don’t want them to, like, sit in the fear!”

"No, no, you're fine. Just. Wow. I wanna study your brain." And also maybe. Yeah. Please laugh.

Small laugh, “That’s not very reassuring. I-is that a good idea or should we think of something else? Or, in either case, who should it be? Our test subject I mean.”

“Hm,” He checked his notes, “Washington?”

“Oooh, yes. I wouldn’t mind getting unethical with that creep. That came out wrong.”

"HA! You can get unethical with me anytime." The floodgates are open. Here come the sex jokes.

“Just revive him!” She said, laughing, “We can do this later!”