#until they never went away
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Mingi at Coachella 2024 Part II, April 12th
#ateez#song mingi#mingi#okay KQ you can keep these coming#i will edit every terribly lit photo with bad blackwhite contrast#i don't care#give me all the mingi material#i will eat them up like an unwell cookie monster#wouldn't it be hilarious if one of those tattoos was real#and this was the soft launch#like how nobody believed any of jungkook's were real#until they never went away#and we found out they were ALL real lol#all 98 of them
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so one time i got bit by a brown recluse which is one of the only types of spider in my area that's actually dangerous and at first i didn't know what had happened to me, only that it was nasty. the swelling wasn't going down and the wound started to get ugly. i don't want to like get into the details because that's gross but it got to the point 2 weeks later that i was worried enough to go to the doctor, which i hate doing.
i am not afraid of spiders but other people are so i'd been covering it with this big ole square bandage (i needed more landscape coverage than a simple bandaid) and sat in the university medical waiting room, kicking my heels and playing BOTW. the nurse who admitted me was like, oh, we have got to get Tom to cover this one. she wrote spider bite under my ticket.
i waited in the near-empty building for like an hour and then nurse tom shows up in spiderman scrubs, out of breath. "sorry," he says, "i saw - your slip - and I had," he heaves in a breath, "to run home and. get. these scrubs. i literally. ran. felt like a job. for. spiderman."
i laugh. he puts his hands on his knees, thumbs-ups at me. fishes a pamphlet out from under his clipboard that basically says spiders can be scary but you don't need to be scared, there's very few dangerous spiders in new england. "honestly," he wheezes, "we probably don't need to get you into an exam room. just..." he waves his hand at the pamphlet, "read that."
i look down at my arm. then back at him in his scrubs. and then down at my arm. i like that he made an effort to make a joke, but now it does not feel like a good joke, because they are mistaking my calm for a lack of injury. "can i. like. at least show you the bite?"
he gives me kind of a weird look, which is fair, but then says. "if. i mean, if you have to."
i peel the bandage off. his face goes green.
"oh," he says.
"yeah, man."
"a... spider bit you?" his voice is high and tight and trembling. he backs up a few steps.
"i think a brown recluse," i offer. "i know it's nasty, sorry."
"excuse me for a moment." he looks over to the administering nurse on the other side of the small room. "i need to find someone else to take care of you."
the administering nurse smiles over to us with a degree of pleasure that is almost salivating. for a moment, like a window opening, i am briefly aware of what must be a psychic message floating amongst the in-between. her jaguar teeth all say this is like a party for me and i know exactly what i'm doing.
"oh no, tom," she says, grinning. "i gave her to you specifically."
#this is a real thing that happened#i then waited in an exam room for another hour until a doctor was similarly dismissive until he saw it#and then just gave me antibacterial cream which didn't help the swelling lol#it went away on its own like 4 weeks later#but that's like not the fun part of this story#i was just like. suddenly in the middle of someone else's work drama and GIRL#btw found this extremely funny#edit in the tags: oh ! i thought they were native to NE !!! ???? omg#i mean a real doctor really saw the wound and said ''brown recluse'' so i assumed he was right i never googled it#i lived on a mattress on the floor in a house of people who were always travelling#so like i guess it could have been ANY spider???#omg.....#the way this rocked my whole world
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fsa is placed at the end of the four swords subseries timeline and as such ganon canonically never breaks out of the seal of the four sword despite him being able to break out of seals in multiple other games. i like to think that the reason for this is because the four sword just straight up ate him over a long period of time. like from inside the seal
#i have a very theoretical spiel i could spin about WHY i think this. but to tl;dr it: we all know of vaati's mental deterioration#as the fs timeline went on. i like to think that that deterioration was caused by the four sword itself#and if he hadn't been killed at the end of fsa it would have continued to gnaw away at him until there was nothing left#a.k.a. what it would also do to ganon seeing as he never manages to break out of the seal#the reasoning for this has to do with the sheer power of the elemental magic infused within the four sword#and how it's a whole different beast from the light magic infused within the master sword#but again. tl;dr-ing it.#also it's just very funny to me to imagine a sword 'eating' someone alive. like yes girl slay maim kill etc. <3#fsa#txt
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love that charles is the brawn/protector when edwin's the exact opposite of a glass cannon
#dead boy detectives#edwin will walk off iron burns as a non-issue because it's small potatoes after hell#but he's incapable of throwing a punch#and doesn't bother flinching away because charles will step up as the first line of defense#until proven otherwise (my god i hope they have fencing in season 2) edwin's main attack is his tongue#cattiest bitch around#meanwhile charles does NOT just shake off iron but he does still immediately step up wielding his cricket bat#i want to know so badly how it went from 'i'm aces with other people' to 'i'm edwin's valiant knight and THAT is what i bring to the table'#'he's wearing your bracelet but i'm wearing his favor. we are not the same'#also having feelings about whatever that was in the pilot where it was edwin swearing that he'd make sure they'd never be separated#charles may not have paid attention to the myth of orpheus and eurydice but he was saving all his attention span for the tales of chivalry#'your loyal knight with his trusty cricket bat'#edwin: [amused but charmed despite himself]
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Most people find listening to the sound of falling rain relaxing.
Most people.
Not him.
He had spent too many nights huddled under awnings and tucked under bridges, unable to avoid the water that soaked him and what little he had to the skin.
Wet shoes and socks meant being barefoot, too numb with cold to notice he was stepping on broken beer bottles along the road. Wet clothes meant that he had only hours to find somewhere, anywhere to get warm or dry before he would get sick, really sick.
He wasn’t there, anymore.
He was safe.
He was home.
But that didn’t mean the sound of falling rain didn’t fill him with a bone deep sense of dread.
She didn’t understand exactly; she knew she’d been lucky enough to never associate the sound of rain with anything other than staying indoors. But she understood enough.
Warm blankets and dry socks found their way into his lap while the whistle of the kettle drowned out at least a little of the noise.
She’d close the curtains and put a movie on, loud enough that he could almost forget until the next crack of thunder would make him jump.
He didn’t hide under storefront umbrellas or overpasses anymore, but he did tuck himself further under her arm, as if out of habit, even now.
They both silently hoped that one day, the rain would be just rain. But until then, they’d wait out the storm together, in dry socks.
#it’s been raining a lot today#and though I’ve never been through anything nearly this bad#I was reminded that up until the last few months#the sound of rain would make me so anxious#because I had been living in a trailer that leaked#and when it rained that meant everything I had would get damp#my bed and my clothes and anything not tucked up in a sealed cabinet#I’m safer now and slowly the anxiety went away#but I figured I’d write this out so it could escape my brain#it’s fine to reblog without the tags and for whump reasons#whump#whumpee#caretaker#whump prompts#whump prompt#whump scenario#rescue#pet whump#environmental whump#pet whumpee#tw homelessness#just in case
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#went on a deep-dive re: brutalist + religious arch. a while ago but somehow never found this until looking for urbex locations today#like 1-2 hours away from me. what the hell#st peter’s seminary#log
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign
#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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#i went and got Examined and Cleaned at dentist and of course paid with my own money#which i save for these exact reasons! health stuff#and i feel much better after going... like in general#i needed a cleaning its been a while since my last one#anyway i get home and both my parents are acting like it was all a waste of time and money#which makes sense bc like. this is only my second time ever going to a dentist. ykwim#i never went to doctors growing up because Waste Of Money We Dont Have#so obvs they think that way#but it Affects Me. ykwim. like oh i really am going to have insane obsessive massive self doubt over every decision i make until i die...ok#like maybe i shouldtve gone maybe it wldve gone away by itself i dont knowwwww#joining the war on All The Men In My Family Dying Bc They Dont Seek Medical Care on the side of the Men#talkys
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Random life update let's go!
So, in my house we have an aread w a dinning table outside, next to our yard, and in this place there is ou beloved celling fan that we haven't used in years because it was too weak and the warmth here needed a strong mechanism to dealt with it
Those last months, we notices that a couple of birds we're making a nest on the... idk the name to be honest but its like a small metal bowl right above the fan and we were quite amazed because :D even tho we do have some trees on the yard it's been years since I saw a nest
S o
Recently they hatched.
How did we discovered it?
Because a small baby bird FELL ON THE TABLE OUT OF NOWHERE
Now we're making plans to place a safety nest somewhere below the fan because the ground is very, very hard (pure concrete) and the nest is very small for the two babies (that I've seen until now) and the mother bird. Oh gosh ajvahwvwvsvwjw good morning to all of us I guess
#my mom grabbed the baby w her bare hands and I almost died because!!!!!! bruh!!!!!! the risk of the feathered mother not wanting it back-#-because it smelled now Human was very high! we put it on a fabric that i held and hopefully kept warm until it was responsive again#i put on the nest because of Tall Privileges and now it seems like she accepted it back but I am not sure since I don’t know for sure how#much small birbs there are there so. high hopes i guess.#we already dealt w fallen birds plenty of times before but!!!! they were never so small!!! really! it didn’t even had feathers covering#the entire body!!! the other ones were at least big enough that we just gave them some seeds. put in a high place and listened to it sing#until the parents went back for them. this one would need to be fed and kept warm and i don’t have this structure now to deal w that aughh#so. safety net it is. I wanted to put RIGHT RIGHT BELLOW the nest but I am afraid of scaring her away so were putting it#above the table instead. well. we most held our meals at our living room so gactqfwjwvywdwyfw yeah#kanene being kanene
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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showed my friend their frank o'toole show appearance yesterday and she pointed out immediately that the melody playing in the background here is in fact a reworked version of youth culture killed my dog which I had somehow literally never noticed before!
#and im so happy I keep listening to it it's really so good . there's a similar thing with hide away folk family being played in the bg while#They plug their village gate show but that one I had noticed but I never realized this was youth culture until clara went#Hey it's youth culture!!!!!! Don't know how I missed it but I'm so happy she pointed it out to me#Shout out clara . If you see this hi ❤️#agh i know its wfmu and not wmfu btw it was a typo and now i cant change it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….
#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried#man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN#<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc#but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment#coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him#the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team#train them and critique them and lead them to victory#and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team#but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask#coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy#like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team#& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM#it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint#but also character wise for jay#like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay#oh it makes me crazy#damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things#im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2#I AM UNWELL#anyway. jesus christ#descendants#jay son of jafar#EDIT i’m not finished actually#do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle#but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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just got a notification from my phone calendar saying "It's almost alfo's birthday, do you want to plan something?"
#uhhh first of all i haven't spoken to her in 7 years. :(( second... she lives in Chile. so no...#i do hope she's doing well though. :(#once i guessed the song that was in her head with no clues#(the song popped into my head after she told me to guess) and we were both like 'WHAT'#she told me we were twin flames. i didn't know what that meant but i believed it.#we used to watch movies on rabb.it and she would complain about her mom. and i would tell her everything would be okay.#and she went on a trip once where she wouldn't have wifi and had her friend Tomas keep up our snapchat streak...#anyway thank you phone for making me sad i miss you alfonsina.#fuck now i'm thinking about old friends who don't love me anymore...#alfo and emilie and w and kiwi. ahhh kiwi...#the first person to ever have a crush on me!!!#that was amazing man#kiwi and their friend maggie tried to help me make a plan for getting away from home back then. it never worked. but it was nice of them#i still have asks from both of them in my inbox : ( sigh#emilie was nice until my life fell apart and then decided i wasn't worth talking to anymore (because i wasn't dming her about my problems?)#and w and i weren't super close but we were friends for a while. did a big bang together!#and there are a dozen others who've slipped away. lol...#anyway sorry but google assistant hath just wrecked me with a simple notification. and i don't even have them turned on... :((#diaerie
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post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.
#mine#tw: sh#i'll be a 30yo woman a 40yo woman a 50yo woman a 60yo woman and someday an old woman with SCARS ON MY ENTIRE LEGS?? like forever????#and i KNOW i broke through enough skin layers for these to never heal entirely like catscratches do#forever? for real? like the rest of my days? i'm never gonna have a healthy clean body like everyone else ever again?#it's THAT easy to just throw it away forever in a second?#i'm gonna be sick#what the fuck man#like both shoulders both thighs both calves entirely ruined#what the actual. fuck.#FUCK.#the awful part of the last year is over thank god#it was an episode lasting from like idk january until#august maybe#i think i'm finally feeling better#but i was really looking into legal psychiatric euthanasia there. drafting my fucking mail to the Dying With Dignity type companies#cause i went to a shrink who told me that i have bpd and while i didn't believe him#fact of the matter is that in some eu countries you're allowed to get euthanized for that. so .#but that doesn't matter i'm a bit better now i'm not thinking about it as much anymore#but it sickens me that#not only do i have to fucking take it alone#but i also have to deal with a lifetime of ridicule disgust “turn off” and pity afterwards#my own best friend told me to make sure to cover up when we slept at a relative's#and i felt it was ridiculous that anyone could even judge me negatively based on the scars when it's me who had to deal with this shit#not them!! and clearly it wasn't fucking easy!!! like if anyone it's not you who's getting hurt from this!!!!!!#i asked her whether she would ever be thrown off by seeing healed scars#and in the coldest tone she replied 'No but I would not know how to explain that to my kids.'#the relatives did not. in fact. have kids.
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do you guys ever think about how ed wouldn't intuitively recognise izzys steps anymore because ive been thinking about that a lot this week
#TAG RB AVAILABLE#an alternate (and worse) thought; that he still does recognise izzy from his walk but only because the cane is so distinctive#(every time izzy walks up to him he is reminded of what he did; of how he CHANGED izzy; he did that; why did he do that????)#he will never stop being reminded about what he did#anyway been thinking about this a ton this week. they have sailed together so long they know each other in ways they dont even know#themselves they are the only person the other trusts with everything they know their likes and dislikes and their strengths and weaknesses#they know their aches and pains (and how they got them) they know the sounds the other makes in their sleep they know the sound#of the others footsteps. until they don't any more#izzy cant walk up behind ed and be greeted as he once was. either his steps are not recognised and eds on guard for whatever comes next#or he does still recognise him. but is reminded every time of his worst moment how he broke the trust of his friend how everything#went to SHIT.#izzy never gets that relaxed greeting again#every time ed wants to apologise. he tries to. but it doesn't stop the guilt. it doesn't make it better. it doesn't make it go away.#everything they had. gone#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#the toe thing#whoops went off in the tags again. feel free to do a tag rb (or ask me to do one ':) djndb)
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