#because I had been living in a trailer that leaked

[justbreakonme]

Most people find listening to the sound of falling rain relaxing.

Most people.

Not him.

He had spent too many nights huddled under awnings and tucked under bridges, unable to avoid the water that soaked him and what little he had to the skin.

Wet shoes and socks meant being barefoot, too numb with cold to notice he was stepping on broken beer bottles along the road. Wet clothes meant that he had only hours to find somewhere, anywhere to get warm or dry before he would get sick, really sick.

He wasn’t there, anymore.

He was safe.

He was home.

But that didn’t mean the sound of falling rain didn’t fill him with a bone deep sense of dread.

She didn’t understand exactly; she knew she’d been lucky enough to never associate the sound of rain with anything other than staying indoors. But she understood enough.

Warm blankets and dry socks found their way into his lap while the whistle of the kettle drowned out at least a little of the noise.

She’d close the curtains and put a movie on, loud enough that he could almost forget until the next crack of thunder would make him jump.

He didn’t hide under storefront umbrellas or overpasses anymore, but he did tuck himself further under her arm, as if out of habit, even now.

They both silently hoped that one day, the rain would be just rain. But until then, they’d wait out the storm together, in dry socks.

[stevieschrodinger]

So here we have Eddie Munson, wild child, irresponsible Omega.

Gets himself knocked up, because of course he does. Isn't even sure who the Alpha is.

Eddie Munson; father to an hours old pup. Eddie Munson is still in highschool because he fucked senior year royally. He lives in a one bed trailer with his uncle that is not, in any way, equipped for a pup. Eddie Munson who already has an arrest record and is quite clearly still slinging drugs on the side.

Absolutely not; CPS takes his pup before she's a day old.

Eddie Munson rails against it, screams about it, cries about it, has a fucking come to Jesus moment with himself at three in the morning and he's still wearing the godamn stupid pants from the hospital because his ass is leaking and his tits are sore and god dammit he's getting his pup back.

He sells the last of his stock the next day, drops highschool and job hunts like his life depends on it. Still needs a place that's not the trailer; no one will rent to an unmated single Omega. He won't get his pup back as a single Omega.

Enter Eddie's best friend: Jeff. More importantly, Alpha Jeff. Who does Eddie an absolute fucking solid and agrees to move in with him. So they do. And they pretend to be a couple to get Eddie's pup back.

Unfortunately, Steve Harrington has seen it all before and sees through them in about thirty seconds flat. They even have two bedrooms and one is clearly Eddie's and one is clearly Jeff's and they confidently lie to Steve's face and tell him they had a friend stay last night, that's all, this will be the pups room.

There's an actual crib in Eddie's room already; Steve doesn't say shit.

Because the thing is, Steve's fostered pups from actually abusive homes and neglect ridden situations, and this isn't that.

And the few times he sees Eddie and Jeff together, pretending to be a couple it's just...painful. Jeff puts his arm around Eddie one time and Eddie actually pulls away instinctively,, a 'what the fuck is this?' expression clear on his face until he realizes and makes himself sink back into it.

They tried to hold hands one time. It almost turned into a thumb war.

Eddie might be lying through his teeth, but he's a desperate Omega who just wants his baby back. So Steve starts the process, signs off on the supervised visits, and spends eight weeks watching Eddie Munson be the best parent anyone could hope for.

Inconveniently, Steve spends those eight weeks falling in love.

And they go on like that, until Steve bumps into Jeff and his girlfriend somewhere, and Jeff fucking panics and drops the girls hand line it's on fire, and the girl gets the most offended fucking look on her face and it's everything Steve can do not to burst out fucking laughing. And Jeff is trying to sputter an explanation which is turning his girlfriend incandescent with rage, "you said you were just friends! Is that your pup??!"

And Steve is actually frightened for Jeff at this point because this girl looks like she is ready to start throwing down so Steve has to just admit, that he knows. He's known right from the start.

Eddie nor Jeff can't lie for shit.

And he talks the girl down, "so Jeff is actually a really great guy, he's just been trying to help Eddie get his pup back," and the girl melts at the story.

Eddie doesn't. Eddie fucking freaks out. Thinks he's about to loose his pup all over again.

But Steve has an alternative suggestion, and it starts by asking Eddie "what are you doing this Friday? Can I take you to dinner?"

[firstkanaphans]

Not gonna lie I’ve been waiting for you to wake up - please share all your thoughts on the trailer ❤️

Ellie! I was not prepared. I had almost 400 notifications when I woke up and was immediately like, “Something FK has happened here.” Sorry for the delayed response. I had to watch the trailer a couple hundred times before I was able to form coherent thoughts.

I really enjoyed it! There was both more bondage and more dancing than I was expecting. I was pleasantly surprised by the bondage, but a little wary of the dancing. Joong’s dance, at least, seems to be a strip tease though, so I guess I’ll allow it.

What the trailer really highlighted for me is that, at its heart, this is a love story between Bison and Fadel just as much as it is a love story between either of their romantic partners. They’re polar opposites. Bison is soft in real life, but rough in the bedroom, and Fadel is rough in real life, but soft with Style. But despite their differences, they both love so deeply. Just in the trailer, we get these two lines, which speak of a forever kind of love. 

(Also look! The paintball scene from 10 Things!)

I think Fadel and Bison have been craving unconditional love and affection their whole lives and have finally found it in Kant and Style. (Which is why it’s going to hurt even worse when they find out there are, in fact, conditions.)

I had already been spoiled about the BDSM by novel readers, but I’m still shocked they put it in the trailer. I think that’s going to be a very fun aspect to explore as consensual BDSM is still rare in BLs—or in any media, really. I talked a bit about why I love this character detail for Bison here, but I also love how it works to balance the power dynamics between them. Kant might be pursuing a relationship with Bison at least partially for nefarious reasons, but giving Bison the metaphorical “power” in their physical relationship makes it feel less exploitative. 

But oh my god. Fadel??? He has my whole heart already. He’s so broken and sad and I hope Style can help make him feel whole again and show him that he’s capable of being loved for more than just his ability to kill people. And although I’m not 100% sure this is what’s happening when Fadel is going down on Style in that storage closet, I’m kinda obsessed with the idea of them playing gay chicken. Like he doesn’t think Style actually likes him so he’s going to test him by giving him a blow job. It’s so perfect. This show is a fanfic writer’s dream.

What I really love about all of Jojo’s productions is that you can just tell he had a blast making them. He puts his whole heart into each and every one and even if there are a few bumps in the road, I appreciate someone who is passionate about their work because you’re going to get a better product that way. I also have a sneaking suspicion this script is strong just based on some of the parallels in the trailer and also that leaked plot summary which I was very impressed with, but I still don’t know for sure because no one will tell me who wrote it.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Nother idea: Wayne & Eddie coming home from a long ass day, tired & stressed, both of them arriving at their trailer at the same time. Both of them taking a deep breath knowing that they'll have to clean up & prepare dinner but both are exhausted. But when they come in their trailer is sparkling clean. The floors swept & mopped, dirty clothes put into the wash, clean clothes folded neatly on the couch in piles for both Eddie and Wayne. Their trailer smells clean & fresh, they turn towards the kitchen & see Steve humming quietly to himself along with the radio on low as he pulls fresh made supper from the oven, on the counters are baked goods cooling. Wayne & Eddie realizing that Steve not only cleaned up their home but he prepared them easy to reheat meals, cleaned up their space bc he knew they'd be exhausted & both of them like the trailer to be clean, but neither had time. So he did it because they are his family & he loves them & wants them to feel safe and cared for in their new home.

MY LOVE! So I kinda ran with a somewhat different background plot, just because it kind of felt like I needed to show that Steve ain't slackin'. I also moved this one ahead of another request because I needed to write Wayne in a sappy way after chapter 2 of demon Steve. Steve was born to be a housewife with guidance counselor tendencies and I don't make the rules. ENJOY! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

Eddie felt the exhaustion fully hit him as soon as he put his van in park.

He’d been working more overtime over the last month to save up for the down payment on the house he and Steve fell in love with.

The government money helped, but it mostly went to medical bills and a new van when his old one had become government property.

Wayne told him to keep as much of it saved as he could. “You never know what life will throw at ya,” he’d said.

Steve had been working a lot too, but was focusing on his classes at the community college, trying to set up a better future for both of them.

It meant that Eddie was pulling a lot of the financial weight right now, that Wayne was doing as much as he could for them so they could actually save up, but it would all be worth it.

Wayne knocked on his window and he blinked his eyes open again.

When had he even closed them?

Eddie opened the door and stepped out, groaning at the ache in his knee. It still wasn’t 100%, probably never would be as long as he was doing physical labor, and today had been particularly rough at the shop.

“Alright, bud?” Wayne asked him, hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Just tired,” Eddie replied.

“You and me both. Let’s go relax a bit.”

But relaxing wouldn’t be on the table until they fixed dinner and cleaned up a bit and Eddie knew the faucet had been leaking when he left this morning and they didn’t need a leak like that running up the water bill, so he should probably try to fix it before bed.

He let Wayne go in first, as always, knowing he’d take longer going up the porch steps.

He could handle walking just fine most of the time, but stairs were a bitch.

He nearly walked right into Wayne when he walked through the front door, the older man standing stock still right in the entrance.

“Wayne? You good?” Eddie asked, his mind suddenly filtering through any number of terrible reasons for his sudden frozen demeanor.

And then he could smell it.

Cookies.

Someone was baking cookies.

And then he saw it.

The living room was completely cleaned and organized, magazines stacked neatly on the table, no crumbs on the couch or carpet, the weird mud stain from Eddie’s boots no longer on the rug by the front door.

He heard the record player going, though the volume was low enough that he could also hear Steve singing in the kitchen.

“Looks like your boy’s been busy,” Wayne smirked over his shoulder at him.

“I don’t-“ Eddie started to say.

“Eds? Wayne? You guys home?” Steve called from the kitchen.

Before they answered, he walked around the corner with an apron on, his glasses perched on his nose, and a beaming smile on his face.

“I just put the lasagna back in the oven to heat up a bit for you. Had to wait for the cookies to come out,” Steve said as he walked towards them.

He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck and kissed him on the lips quickly, then pulled away to give Wayne a quick side hug.

“I made some lemonade that should be nice and cold by now. You want some?”

Eddie and Wayne blinked at him, surprise at what was happening rendering them speechless.

“Is everything okay?” Steve’s tone shifted to concern, the smile dropping from his face as he took in their stillness.

“You cleaned?” Wayne asked.

“And cooked?” Eddie asked.

“And baked?” Wayne added.

“My afternoon class was canceled and Keith said he wouldn’t approve overtime for me, so. I came home?” Steve still looked concerned, like he was waiting for one or both of them to start yelling at him.

“Where’s your car?” Wayne asked.

That was a great question. Eddie just realized it wasn’t in the yard, which was half the reason he’d been shocked to see Steve here at all.

“Oh! Max needed to go to therapy. I was already in the middle of baking so I told her she could just use it as long as she was back by eight.”

“So you’ve been cleaning and baking and cooking all afternoon? For us?” Eddie asked, biting back as much emotion as he could.

He was tired and overwhelmed with love and he knew he would start crying if he didn’t contain some of it.

“I just wanted to take care of you guys and take care of our house. You worked all day and I had some free time to do it,” Steve shrugged.

Wayne collected himself first, moving toward Steve and squeezing his shoulder.

“Thanks, son. You don’t know how much I appreciate ya doin’ all this,” he said, voice slightly choked up.

“It’s no problem, Wayne,” Steve replied, face red.

“Mind if I go grab a shower first?” he asked Eddie.

“Fine with me,” Eddie responded.

Wayne nodded once, smiling at them both, and walked to his room to grab clothes for after his shower.

Steve looked up at Eddie shyly.

“Lasagna will be about 20 more minutes if you wanna grab a drink,” he said quietly.

Eddie smirked.

“Some of that lemonade sounds nice,” he played along, knowing exactly where this was going.

No matter how tired or sore he was, he wouldn’t turn down the chance to get his hands on Steve or have Steve’s hands on him.

Steve led him into the kitchen by his hand, tugging him along as he excitedly explained that he’d found the lemons at a farm stand on his way home from work yesterday and considered using them for a cheesecake, but decided this would be better.

Eddie smiled at him fondly, just happy that Steve is happy.

“I’ll get you a glass, just wait right there,” Steve said, pushing him against the counter gently.

But Eddie didn’t let him pull away yet, fisted his shirt and pulled him against his front.

“Eds!” Steve yelped as they made contact.

“I’m sure the lemonade is perfect, but I want a taste of you first, sugar,” Eddie mumbled, leaning down to press his lips against Steve’s.

Steve melted against him, letting Eddie’s tongue past his lips and letting out a low moan when Eddie’s hands squeezed his ass.

“What’re you doing?” he whispered against Eddie’s lips.

“Touching you,” Eddie answered before kissing the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jaw.

“Wayne though.”

“He’s already in the shower. We got a few minutes.”

“We can’t do much in a few minutes,” Steve said, trying to stifle another moan as Eddie’s fingers untied his apron and slid to the front of his jeans to undo his button.

“You underestimate how hot it is to see you like a little housewife, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckled.

Steve slapped his arm.

“Not a housewife.”

“No? You sure seemed happy about cleaning up and cooking for me,” Eddie said as he slid his hands into the waistband of Steve’s boxers.

“Eds,” he gasped, but didn’t stop him as he wrapped his hand around his half-hard cock.

“Get me out, Stevie. Don’t have much time,” Eddie groaned.

Steve did as he was asked, but still seemed hesitant.

Eddie paused.

“You wanna call it?” he asked.

If Steve truly didn’t want to, he knew what to say to stop, and he knew Eddie would stop, no questions asked.

But he shook his head, biting his lip to contain a whimper as Eddie looked down at their cocks and spit.

“Gotta stay quiet, still. Don’t wanna be caught,” Eddie whispered as he leaned in to kiss him again, keep his mouth preoccupied so he didn’t give them away.

He knew Wayne would be at least another 10 minutes, but they both liked the idea of having to stay quiet and be quick.

And quick it was.

They both came in barely two minutes, Eddie riled up from Steve just being Steve, Steve being riled up at the fact they were doing this in the kitchen.

“I just cleaned this floor, you better not have gotten anything on it,” Steve smirked at Eddie as they buttoned themselves back up.

“Promise I’ll clean it up myself if I did.”

“You better. Gonna go shower next?” Steve tied the apron back up, walking over to the fridge to finally get the lemonade.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sore today. Hot water will help.”

Steve turned to him with a furrowed brow.

“You should’ve said, baby. You need some Motrin or something?”

“Nah, maybe after I eat. Got a dose of you to help,” he winked obnoxiously.

“Alright, keep it in your pants,” Steve said as he poured a glass for Eddie and a glass for Wayne.

“You’re the one who had it out a minute ago!”

Steve just gave him a dead-eyed stare before handing him his lemonade.

“Get out of my kitchen.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Eddie saluted.

He took a few sips of the lemonade as he walked towards his bedroom to grab clothes.

It was delicious, as he expected.

Just like coming home to Steve every day.

[blipblepbloop]

i havent watched markiplier in a hot minute but im still really excited for edge of sleep to come out where i live, however this whole thing amazon is doing with the show is not only pure evil but it makes me wonder if they've done it before. how many tv shows and movies made by smaller creative teams did amazon agree to put up on their streaming service, but give zero marketing or promotion and then say they had to get high ratings upon release to be renewed for another season, or for other projects to be released? like i cant help but wonder because this feels like such a calculated move by amazon and the only way the show is doing well is because both markiplier and the edge of sleep podcast have a big enough fanbase already that they've been able to rally together to get the show in the top ten. what would've happened if that wasn't the case? like the only trailer that exists came from a leak and was uploaded to youtube by some random person. how many other shows has amazon thrown out into the void just to say they did put the show up on their streaming site and it just wasn't popular enough?

[honeyangelkiwi]

Coachella Weekend 2 | H.S.

Plot: A bet is made on whether Harry will address his album being leaked during his second set at Coachella…

Sexual content: fingeringish (f receiving), grinding, teasing, subrry

Word count: 3.1k

I started writing this the day after this performance and then set it aside and got distracted haha. I don’t remember exactly what he said on stage, and quite frankly I don’t care to look it up. You’ll get the gist, it’s only a few words here and there. Maybe posting this here will finally get me to finish the second part.

I wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to top last weekend. His performance for weekend one completely blew me away. He wouldn’t let me see anything, saying it had to be just as much of a surprise to me as it would be for everyone else, which was very annoying. I’ll admit though, it made the performance so much better.

I almost forgot how much of a flirt he can be on stage. The little smirks, smiles, and not so subtle touches that drove me to so much pent up frustration that I jumped right on him when he came off the stage. I have a feeling tonight will be much more exciting.

The vibe from the crowd tonight is so much better. It’s been vibrant and buzzing all day and we all know why. Weekend two is nothing but harries. The lineup hadn’t been announced yet when weekend one tickets went on sale. However, as soon as the lineup dropped and everyone realized H was headlining, they came in full force. Nothing impresses me more than his fans and their dedication to him.

That leads us up to right now. H and I are sitting in his trailer in the artist village just lounging around while everyone else is out watching artists across the site. We wanted to stay back though, knowing he would get too much attention no matter where we were out there.

We’re sitting on the couch, watching the piece of shit YouTube live stream, but not really paying any attention to it. He’s laying back against the arm of the couch with one leg up on the couch and the other on the floor, my back pressed to his chest while he rubs soft circles into my left hip.

Both of us lay in robes, too lazy to get fully dressed even though he is on in two hours. That wouldn’t matter anyways because he, again, won’t let me see what he’s going to be wearing tonight. Knowing Lambert and Alessandro it will be nothing short of amazing and mouth watering.

“What do you think you’re doing H?” I question when I feel his left hand start to pull my robe open a bit and slip under it. He doesn’t say anything and continues his hand up, gripping the thin band of my barely existent panties.

Just the feeling of the pads of his fingertips on my skin heats up my body like a wildfire. I know the game he’s playing, he does it often. The game where he loves to work us both up, teasing not just me, but both of us, to the point it almost physically hurts. Just for him to go on stage and act like a whore in front of the world.

The result usually ends with me begging him to fuck me as soon as he gets off of stage, dragging him to the nearest secluded…ish spot so he can finger fuck me until we can get somewhere more private. He may act like a whore on stage, but behind closed doors we’re both filthy.

I gasp sharply when his fingers dip down to brush my clit lightly. My hips involuntarily shifting up to chase his fingers when he starts pulling his hand away. “Harry, please don’t do this tonight. I have a feeling I won’t be able to handle it.” I plead softly, knowing that since he’s already started I don’t want him to stop.

I feel his chest move as he chuckles at me. “C’mon babe, I know you don’t want me to stop. You were wet before I even started.” He whispers into my ear. His lips brushing up and down my neck with his breath tickling me, sending goosebumps erupting across my entire body.

I let my head fall back onto his shoulder, exposing more of myself to him. His lips start planting soft kisses up and down my neck, stopping to suck a bruise where it meets my shoulder.

His left hand moves up my body to my breasts, taking a handful while his free hand pulls the tie of my robe and lets it fall open, completely exposing me to him. I only had on panties, and a shiver ran through my body when my hot skin was met with the cool air conditioning of the trailer.

While his left hand starts playing with my freed nipples his right pulls my underwear to the side, and he runs his fingers from my opening up to my clit, spreading the arousal around between my legs. I couldn’t help the whimper that fell from my lips at the all of the stimulation he was giving me across my body. Enough to start a knot forming in my belly, but not enough to be chasing a release.

The soft sounds coming from me cause his hips to shift up and grind into my backside, allowing me to feel how hard he was from the little bit of work he was doing. Knowing this is what he loves doing I open my eyes to glance at the clock and see he has to leave shortly.

Mad at myself that I let him play his game I grab his hand that's still running up and down my heat and press his fingers to my clit, forcing them to rub in quick, harsh circles. Immediately my eyes shut again and a loud moan fell from my lips, drowning myself in the pressure that I needed to push me towards my end.

Harry, being the man he is, let me do what I wanted for all of a minute before pulling his hands away from my body. I wanted to scream, but before I could he was already flipping me over to straddle his lap, slamming his lips to mine.

I couldn’t help the moan that escaped passed my lips and into his mouth, the way he tastes never getting old to me. His hands grip tightly onto my hips, pulling them further into his lap, allowing me to feel how hard he is through the little barrier between us.

I weave my fingers into his hair and tug on the roots as I roll my hips into his to get some more friction. I know he can feel the wetness seeping through my panties. The slippery fluid dampened his briefs and surely let him feel how much he’s worked me up.

He groans into my mouth, pushing his tongue into mine and licking into it like he’s searching for more of the taste. A hand comes up to the back of my neck pulling me into him more and he obscenely starts sucking my tongue between his lips.

He pulls his mouth from mine and moves his face into my neck, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses, and starting to suck a bruise into my sweet spot. “Baby, please.” I beg, knowing and not knowing what I’m asking for.

My head is so far into the clouds that I don’t realize he’s pulled his mouth off of my skin until he’s gently pushing me off him. As he stands up he looks down at me with a smirk I could slap right off his face.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me H!!” I huffed angrily at him. I know I’m more angry at myself for falling into his trap again, but I could help it. He’s irresistible.

“Sorry babe. It’s about time for me to go get changed and make sure Lizzo gets her coat for tonight.” He shrugs like he hasn’t also worked himself up. I raise an eyebrow at him and glance down at his hard cock before looking back up at him.

He just smiles at me, popping those dimples out laughing. “Nothing I can’t take care of love.” And truly, fuck you, Harry Styles. As I’m about to snark back some quirky comment an idea pops into my head, and now I’m the one smirking.

“Are you gonna mention the leaks tonight?” I ask and watch his eyebrows furrow. “I am, why?” He responds back, confused because we’ve already talked about this yesterday.

“I bet you won’t. You’ll get up there and chicken out.” I taunt him. He’s too predictable. I know what I’m doing. If he wants to play games, then we’ll play games.

“Babe, I’ve told you already. I’m going to bring it up. I would never be rude to them, but I want to say something.” He sighs, rolling his eyes. He’s probably tired of me bringing it up, but I know he won't say anything. He would never make his fans feel bad, even if they did listened to the leaks.

“How about if you say something you fuck me and if you don’t… I fuck you tonight.” I say with the biggest smirk on my face. I know Harry can’t turn this down. Mister cocky and confident until he’s the one under me.

The shock on his face is something I wish I could have gotten a picture of. He stands speechless for a minute, mouth falling open and snapping shut a few times before he finally answers… or whimpers. From that alone I know I’ll be winning this bet, but it’ll be fun to see how he attempts to win anyways.

He walks up to me with a big smile on his face, like he didn’t just let it slip how much he would like to be the one bent over tonight. However, I also know he can’t deny a good competition between us. “Looks like we have a deal baby. I hope you’re ready for what I’ve already got planned.” He says and gives me a soft peck on the lips.

He steps away and turns towards the bathroom, undoubtedly to take care of the issue he caused himself and to get dressed and meet Lambert. I sit myself back down on the couch, thinking about the ways in which I will have him begging for me.

I’m pulled from my thoughts as he comes back fully clothed… kind of, in small shorts with a tee shirt layered over a long sleeve shirt. His hair is hidden under a bucket hat and his clip firmly attached to his shirt. It never ceases to amaze me how good he looks in something so simple.

Without any shame I slowly drag my eyes down his body, letting him see the look I’m giving him. When I get back up to his face he simply smirks, steps up to me and gives me a kiss to the forehead. “I’ll see you in an hour, love.” He states and heads out the door.

********

Harry Lambert and Alessandro have really outdone themselves this weekend. The pink leather, the cherries and strawberries… and the initials on Harry’s ass have me ready to drop everything and suck his dick right on stage in front of everyone.

He truly has no business looking as good as he does. The way his abs have been flexing as he dances around on stage is disgustingly attractive. During Carolina he came over to the side of the side stage where VIP was and gave me a big, teasing, cheesy grin.

“This is for you baby!” He yells at me. I couldn’t hear him since he yelled it away from the mic, but I could make out what he said. He does that often when he’s on stage. He turns around and gives his focus back to the crowd and continues on into Woman.

After Woman the high energy dies down a bit as Elin, Sarah, and Nyoh come up to the front of the stage to sing Boyfriends with Harry. His little speech last night ran through my head and made me laugh.

He steps up to the mic with his guitar and clears his throat. He takes a glance over at me and smirks, raising his brows playfully. I gulped nervously because I really didn’t think he would be saying anything. I catch Sarah nudging Elin and giving her a look with wide eyes. I guess I’m not the only one surprised by him.

“Respectful kings and queens…” he starts and trails off a bit as the crowd goes insane by the way he addresses them. As they continue screaming I see it. The hesitation flashes across his face and he looks over at me again with wide eyes and a nervous twitch of the lips. I feel the smirk spread across my face realizing that, even though there is still half of the show to go, I’ve won this bet.

He visibly gulps and shakes his head chuckling. “We’re going to play a new song for you, one that I’ve only performed once. Here’s Boyfriends.” He spares another glance my way, this one being much darker with his face on fire.

I quick a look towards Sarah and Elin and see them trying not to laugh and I know for sure that they had a bet on if he would say something or not also. The rest of the show goes by fairly quickly and the anticipation to get my hands on him has been growing and spreading like wildfire through my body.

The stage goes red and the old Kiwi intro starts. I am so glad he brought it back because there is no other feeling of the build up during this. He goes to grab a water bottle and all of the fans start going crazy knowing what’s to come.

He looks at me as he comes running down the catwalk, smirking and pointing at me. “You better not throw that water on me Harry!” I shout at him. I know he can’t hear because of the in ears, but he can read my lips. He simply laughs and turns to throw it on the fans opposite of me.

As the bridge comes around I take it as my cue to head to the side stage to meet him as he runs off. 10 minutes later and he’s finishing Sign of The Times and running off stage. As he approaches me I open my arms and let him pick me up, swinging us in a circle.

“I still can’t believe that was my first festival!” He shouts over the still screaming crowd. He leans in to kiss me but I pull back. When I look up to his face and see him pouting I chuckle at him. “I think you need to go shower and change baby, you’ve got a long night ahead of you.”

His face drops even more, eyebrows raising and lips parted slightly, wet and shining from having licked them. “Oh haha, you remember that little bet.” He speaks lowly, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact.

“Mhm baby, I do remember. It seems like the band thought the same thing.” I say laughing and sliding my arms down to his hips, giving them a squeeze. “What happened? Why’d you back out at the last minute?” I ask, rubbing circles into his ferns.

“I don’t know. Just kind of choked up I guess.” He shyly mutters and I can’t help but give him a quick peck to the lips. He may seem overly confident on stage, but he's still just a cute little baby most of the time. He smiles down at me and kisses my forehead, wrapping his hands around me to pull me in for a hug.

For a moment we just stand like that backstage, embracing each other, forgetting that there are 50 people around us running around to deconstruct the stage and get everything set up for tomorrow. His face is buried in my hair, his sweat is sticking to my skin and he smells, but I don’t complain. Moments like these are meant to just live in for a bit.

After a few moments I slip my hands from his hips to his plump ass and give a firm squeeze. The whimper that came from his lips was low enough that only I heard, and it went straight to my core. I could feel him harden against my lower stomach already.

“Go get showered baby. Be a good boy and wait for me on the bed naked.” I whisper into his ear. His hips shift and rub against me and he moans softly, only for me to hear. “Hm, maybe you purposefully didn’t say anything because you wanted me to fuck you tonight.” I say to him, my voice having dipped down and dripping in honey.

“And if I did?” He says and steps back with a smirk. I cock an eyebrow at him, glancing down to the bulge in his pants. He unashamedly looks down and rubs his hand over himself. “I would say you better do what I say if you want my cock in your ass tonight.” I snapped at him.

His mouth drops open and his hand snaps back to his side. He turns around and starts walking away, but not before looking back at me with eyes blown in lust to tell me loves me. I look around and catch eyes with Sarah and Elin and see them laughing, knowing they saw the encounter.

“See you guys tomorrow!” I yell over to them and we all share a look. They know how H and I are. Not by choice initially, but when Harry came into rehearsal the first time a few months back with red cheeks and a limp, the whole band kind of guessed and teased him about it.

They waved back and I turned to make my way back to the trailer. Taking my time knowing how worked up he’s gonna be by the time I get there.

bully me to finish the second part

[toxicanonymity]

Shooting Practice

1600 words, raider!Joel x f!reader

mood board by @milla-frenchy

A/N: FLASHBACK TO BEFORE YOU ESCAPE.. This isn't what I was working on 🚬🤡. WARNINGS: I8+ inner conflict, dubcon p in V (captivity), angst. plz suspend disbelief about shooting, etc. Raider Joel Master List, His trailer

FLASHBACK / IMAGINE

Between "Stash House" and "Failed Escape. "

Joel leaves you in his trailer sometimes if he isn't taking you on a raid. His trailer is nice compared to the stash house. Especially because his men aren't there, but it's also a little cleaner. You sense he’s a practical man. He doesn’t have things he doesn't need, aside from whiskey. He could sleep on the ground with nothing. The fact that his bed has sheets and a blanket–no, the fact that he even has a bed and lets you sleep in it–feels like a luxury. He doesn't just let you sleep in it. He holds you. It feels more protective than affectionate but you feel safe.

Joel only uses the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. When you come in the front door, you enter into the eating area, and turn left for the bathroom and bedroom. But if you turn to the right, there’s more. It’s a small galley kitchen. There’s a pantry full of ammunition and cabinets to your right, a utility closet, a closet, and then a room you’ve never seen Joel use.

In the living room, the carpet is scratched through in some places. It’s dusty. There’s an old forlorn sofa. The roof leaks on that end of the trailer. There’s a giant spot on the thin, blue, speckled carpet.The carpet is full of stains with various items scattered around. A dust buster. Two empty pet bowls in the corner, covered in cobwebs. There’s a TV/VCR combo and a radio. There are shelves with warped and faded books.

The first time you notice the children’s books, it makes your stomach turn. You ask Joel who used to live there. Hell if he knows, it was empty, the whole trailer park was. Most of the trailers are gutted, their insides destroyed by a fire. This one had been far enough away. You try not to think too much about who used to live there. You try spending time in the living room and it feels like your own space, but it's also spooky.

Joel has one of his men keeping an eye on you from down the hill, but it's for protection--to stop any of his men from going up there. You're allowed to go outside. When you have an opportunity, you explore the immediate area around the trailer– the top of the hill, and the woods. There isn’t much to see, and you don’t go far, afraid he’ll come back and think you’re trying to escape.

When you're hungry one afternoon, you try to forage for mushrooms in the woods. You find a collapsed, faded tent with a lump under it. Your gut tells you it’s a body. The next day, it’s in the same spot. You’re probably right. Joel always says it’s too dangerous, you shouldn’t go in the woods, and now you know why.

----------

One day, you’re feeling particularly restless, but you stay inside. When Joel gets home, he grabs ammunition from the pantry and is about to do target practice outside. You overhear him shooting when he does it.

“Can I watch,” you ask.

He glances at you skeptically, then mutters “yeah okay.”

You walk around back with him, the opposite side of the stash house, to the opposite ridge of the hill, facing the trailer park, with the woods on your left. There are shells of abandoned cars scattered behind the trailers.

The two trailers you’re looking at are marked up with spray paint, x’s, o’s, stick figures. One of the stick figures has a gaping hole in the head and smaller holes around it.

Joel sets up his rifle and gets down on his stomach, which gives you butterflies to watch. His triceps flex as he gets into position and his shapely lower body holds an interesting pose as he peers into the sight of his gun. He takes a shot and you don’t see where it goes.

“What’d you hit?”

Joel glances at you. “Trailer”

“Where?”

“See that guy with the hole in his head? went through that.”

You settle in to watch, legs folded to the side, fingers exploring a clover patch while he shoots. You pluck the little white flowers and consider making a crown out of them, but you would feel silly in front of Joel. You tear them to pieces instead with a lump in your throat.

Joel takes a few more shots, then asks, “wanna see?”

He scoots over and you swallow your emotions. You get on your stomach next to him. When you peer through the sight, you can see right through the trailer to the next one where he’s shot a large hole in the middle of an X. “wow,” you marvel. “all the way through?”

“yep”

“you’re really good at that.”

He cocks an eyebrow at you. “Wouldn’t keep ya if I wasn’t. Someone’s gotta keep ya safe, sweet pea.”

You nod and give a small smile.At this point, you’re still unsure where you’re better off.

You get out of his way. He takes a couple more shots while you pensively look for four-leaf clovers.

There’s nothing waiting for you back home, but sometimes, the way Joel plucked you out of your life doesn’t sit right. You didn't get to choose.

—------

Joel lets you watch him most days when he does target practice, and one day he asks if you wanna try.

"Look, uh, you don't need to be usin' a gun like this okay?"

"yeah, I know."

"but if ya wanna try it, right here with me. . .I can show ya."

"really?" He showed you his pistol before but didn't offer you could shoot it.

Joel nods for you to come over. You've shot a pistol before, in your old life, but never a long gun. You lay on your stomach, trying to emulate his stance. He moves your legs into position for you and you can feel the air on your inner thighs as your dress bunches up near your hip on your right side.

Joel cages you to the ground with his body, laying his chest flat against your back. He puts your hands on the gun and keeps his hands over yours. “You’re gonna wanna look right here.” He points at the sight then returns the hand to yours. “And hold the gun real steady. It’s gonna jump back at ya.”

“Okay.”

“Ready? I'll squeeze it the first time”

“Yeah.”

He squeezes the trigger and his arm muscles flex against you as he fires. It goes straight through the hole to the x. With Joel holding it steady, it doesn't jump back. The next time, he lets you pull the trigger while he holds the gun steady. When he shifts his weight in between shots, you can feel him getting hard. Each time, he puts less and less of his strength into it until he thinks you’re ready to do it on your own. He gets up off you and watches.

You line up the shot and take it. The recoil startles you even though you knew it was coming. The bullet pings a blank spot on the trailer next to the stick figure’s neck. You’re disappointed but Joel says “Good girl, look at that.”

-------

He takes the gun from you and puts it aside. Then he cages you to the ground again. He lowers his hips and you feel the shape of his stiff cock through his thin jeans. “my gun looks good on ya,” he murmurs.

You’re still up on your elbows. He put his weight on one of his forearms and reaches his other hand under your arm to cup your breast. He rolls his hips into you and gropes you. You’re getting wet. He does it once more, and you sigh.

"Not here," he says. "too exposed."

He begins to push himself off, and you feel the cool air against your damp panties as he sits back on his knees between your legs. He mutters, “fuck" and defies himself by reaching between your legs. He slips a finger under the cotton and when he feels how wet you are, he inhales sharply then mumbles, “gotta be quick.” When you hear his zipper, a wave of arousal hits you.

He hovers over you resting on his forearm again. "relax, sweet pea." You put your arms down and rest your head on top of them. "want it here, right?" He presses on the damp spot.

"Yeah"

He pushes your panties to the side and nudges his tip into place. You're wet but not quite wet enough. He spits on his hand and adds saliva to his tip before returning it between your legs.

He lines himself up and shoves into you, his girth splitting you in two. Your body rushes to catch up but he doesn't allow much time to adjust. He slowly brings his cock back, then slams in with a grunt. Then he goes at a jackhammer pace, breathing vocally and railing into you until he moans "ohh, ah–" and slows his hips.

He plunges to the hilt and sighs in relief as he fills you with his cum. You whimper on the edge, almost there yourself, but you don't know how he'll react if you touch yourself, so you don't.

------

Maybe you'll have a moment to yourself later. Or maybe--you catch yourself wondering--maybe, he'll fuck you later and take his time. You shame yourself for the thought.

There's no mistaking what your body wants. It's always wanted him, but there's something that scares you now. You're beginning to fear it's not just your body anymore.

-----

Thank you for reading

she's afraid her desire/acceptance isn't just physical anymore

Next would be Failed Escape

the last line:

she's afraid her body belongs to him and not just herself

[powdermelonkeg]

I’ve noticed that a lot of people have some problems with the Totk narrative and was wondering what you thought about it! I’m personally pretty neutral but I can see why people don’t like it. Have a wonderful day!

Okay so controversial opinion here from me:

TotK > BotW

WITH A CAVEAT

I enjoy games IMMENSELY more when I'm not spoiled on them. Skyrim mesmerized me because I flat out was not expecting an actual execution in the first five minutes. I love exploring things for myself.

I went into TotK with ZERO proper spoilers, on purpose. All I had was my own speculation from my trailer breakdowns, and the barest glimpse of Sonia from a leak. The world fascinated me. The physics engine was insanely fun to play with. I got super excited with the return of caves and dozens of collectables. I loved discovering new recipes. I LIVED in the Depths. And the slow horror of figuring out what exactly Zelda did to herself—I saw Tear 3, felt a sinking feeling of dread, rushed into the Depths of the castle to break down that last mural, then panicked as I raced around Hyrule trying to get the rest of the memories. I got the final memory, and I stood on top of Zelda's head for half an hour in shock.

BotW, on the other hand, I spoiled myself on, and was let down by in terms of what I expected out of it. I think the story would have captivated me had I stayed off of Youtube and actually bought the game (was broke at the time, didn't get it until 2019) and experienced it as intended. But I KNEW all the cutscenes, so I didn't have a drive to chase them. Which left the mechanics of the game on their own for me to get used to; I liked cooking, I loved getting a house. I hated how few enemy types there were, I missed my pieces of heart and secret caves and collectables. It's a secret to everybody? Wrong. 85000 shrines.

I started Zelda with Twilight Princess. That's been the bar for me since the beginning. If lighting two unlit torches doesn't give me a secret chest, or beating a challenging minigame doesn't give me a better quiver, it doesn't feel like Zelda to me.

Everything in BotW felt samey because I'd taken the narrative out of its natural habitat and experienced it as a movie rather than as a game, and the most variation enemies really had was a color or elemental difference. No Redeads in the desert, no Toadpoli in the lake, no Freezards in the ice. Also the bosses had no individuality.

Now, I 100% understand why people who love BotW don't love TotK. A lot of what was set up in BotW was undercut in favor of telling the story of Ocarina of Time again. There's no moving past the cycle like BotW implied there would be, and the refusal of the devs to so much as show the ruins of the last game's pivotal pieces feels like they didn't want to commit to anything. It's like if Four Swords and Four Swords Adventures were said to be direct sequels; they've got the same flavor, the same mechanics, but why does NOTHING have continuity?

(I've kind of microdosed on this frustration myself in regards to the timeline; all that effort to say BotW was at the end of all three timelines and do away with the mess they released in Hyrule Historia, and they add Zonai tech in on top of the Sheikah tech with no continuity??? Rauru and Sonia vs Skyward Zel??? Rito existed at the dawn of time. What)

As a continuation of BotW's narrative, it fails. Not egregiously enough for fans to be able to disconnect them and call them their own stories, but badly enough that the overall story feels like it was meant to be two, not one. That's a frustrating point to be in; too much is intertwined between them to break them off and create for them separately, but it's also not intertwined enough that you can't see that it's fraying at the edges.

Anyways...

I liked it. A lot. I think the whole dragon plotline and worldbuilding is fascinating. I have my gripes with dialogue, as one always does with Nintendo games, but you know.

[starsxblazing]

Iridescence

I was listening to Iridescent by Linkin Park and all of the ideas for this AU were impossible to get out of my brain so this is what I pumped out within thirty minutes

Summary: Living in the slums of San Antonio, your train wreck of a life with your abusive boyfriend seems to be never ending. A new neighbor slowly pulls your attention towards him.

Warnings: descriptions of domestic violence, drugs, abuse, violence, description of blood and gore, death, personality disorders, depression, angst. So much angst.

Azriel x Reader

You sat in front of your full-length mirror propped on the floor, flinching when the front door to your trailer slammed shut, before examining the bruises covering your face. It had been a miracle that you had learned how to use makeup enough to cover up the evidence so that no one asked any questions. There were no longer any voiced concerns from anyone that you worked with or the only person that you had left in your life that you could consider a friend and it was a small relief.

Memories and thoughts turned over in your mind as you started the task of covering up the bruises adorning different parts of your face, searching to figure out where things went so wrong. Your relationship with James had been going on since you were sixteen and it had been tumultuous at the very least. He had always been on a downward spiral but you always kept the hope that he would be the person that you knew he had the potential to be.

His attitude had gotten even worse since the move. The small town that you both grew up in had a high crime rate that always made you afraid to do anything and there was a terrible problem with the lack of jobs. The latter was the biggest reason that you had moved to San Antonio once you had been accepted into one of the colleges here. You had been in the top five of your class, more than earning your bachelor’s degree in business. Despite your majors of finance and human resources, you struggled to find a good job in a good company.

Your two minimum wage jobs were barely enough to keep you afloat which resulted in the tiny, rundown trailer park that you now resided in. James refused to find work of his own and when he did, his employment never lasted long. It didn’t take a genius to know that he was purposely sabotaging his opportunities and making a bad name for himself but there wasn’t anything that you could do about it. 

The fight that started as soon as you got off of work had lasted throughout the entire night all of the way up until he finally just left to do whatever it was that he did. You were exhausted and didn’t know how you were going to make it through your eight hours in the factory and then the retail job that you had immediately after. 

Your car was just as bad as your home, nothing but a simple rust bucket that decided on its own some days to not start. Every wrong noise came from it during your commute to work and you couldn’t help but wonder just how long that it would last. The thought spiraled your depression further because you didn’t have the money to make any payments on even the cheapest of cars, unable to even afford to get any repairs that needed to be taken care of. 

You forced the thoughts away while throwing on the simple t-shirt and a pair of jeans before slipping on your steel toed shoes and looking around your room, unable to linger on the many holes in the walls. The entirety of the small area constantly smelled of mildew, the leak in the roof from rain that followed the dense dry heat only making it worse by the day. What you could tell was once white carpet was now brown and littered with black spots that caused the putrid odor. 

The bed, if you could even call it that, wasn’t in much better condition. The mattress, which was second hand, sat on the floor since you weren’t able to afford any form of a bedframe. You had gone without eating for almost a week simply by buying your also second hand couch that was barely usable. The small journal that was now on the floor from James’s violent outburst had been knocked from the tiny dresser and caught your eye just as you were about to leave. 

As you flipped through it, your heart dropped at the list of bills and the ones that were due in just a few days. Your bank account had been drained yet again by your boyfriend and there was no way that you weren’t going to be past due. The thought brought tears to your eyes because it would only cost you even more money that you didn’t have. You cursed the horrible economy and the overpriced hell hole that you lived in.

Making your way into the small living room/kitchen combo area of your trailer, you stopped to look at the thermostat. A snort left you at the irony because it didn’t belong there. It wasn’t like it had worked since you had moved in five years ago. The common sight of a scurrying mouse from the corner of your eye pulled your attention to it just before it ran across your feet and through a hole at the bottom of the wall. A variety of roaches scattered across the walls from your presence but that was also nothing new. 

Dirty dishes were piled in the sink, causing you to sigh because that had been another point of your argument from the night before. James didn’t work or contribute anything to the house. Not even cleaning. You were hardly ever there so it wasn’t like any of it was your mess to begin with. It was a never ending futile battle but it never failed to bug you at the end of the day in your exhaustion.

Your next task was searching for your phone and car keys, which had been thrown somewhere in the process. It had been hard at the time to know what he did with them since your vision had blurred at the time from where James had elbowed you in the nose. To the best of your knowledge, your keys were in the front yard somewhere but your phone was a different story. The broken window that overlooked the backyard told you enough. It was probably somewhere amidst the tall grass that was past due for a cut but your lack of a lawn mower made that impossible to do. It would die soon enough anyway since the cooler air of winter was slowly moving in.

Just as you suspected, your phone was in the damp backyard with the battery completely drained. There was also a new crack on the screen but you couldn’t be bothered to worry about it because it was too close to time for you to leave. Your keys took a bit longer to track down since there were no obvious signs of where they landed.

The sight of a moving truck at the front of the trailer next door pulled your attention away from your task, the new emotion of curiosity a welcome one. Your neighboring trailer was the nicest one in the park but it was far from being considered homey. It was a one bedroom just as all of them were and extremely overpriced for the condition that it was in. You had looked at it before moving into the one that you now lived in and it was in complete working condition, a far cry from being similar to your own.

Your gaze on the sight next door was enough to have you stumbling over the very item that you had forgotten about, nearly causing you to tumble to the ground right as someone was exiting the home. Heat rose to your cheeks when your eyes connected with the man’s across the small yards that you both had. You weren’t sure if it was because of the fact that he almost saw you fall or because he was the most beautiful man that you had ever seen. 

Shaking your head to clear it, you snatched up your keys and hoped that you would make it to work without any problems.

@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @wisdomofthebrain @nighttimemoonlover

[lifea16]

Ghostfuckers thoughts [Live]

Blitz is coping badly [Buying 100 taxidermy owls to burn to stop thinking about Stolas ain't exactly normal]

Is Moxxie going to be out of commision because of MATHS [Actually it was buisness bankruption but still]

Okay.. Blitz is doing horribly

How are the shorts showing him okay when HE'S COPING BY SPENDING A SHITTON OF MONEY AND JUST LIKE NOT OKAY

'We're bankrupt! FUCK' /ref

...Blitz has been stuck in his office this whole TIME [Actually living in it is this where he sleeps most of the time bc there's a bed here]

......Blitz u okay [obviously not but still]

Millie what do you think he's been doing when he's been DROWNING HIMSELF IN WORK

Overeating is a sign of clinical depression

I know it's only been 3 minutes but I WANT TO HUG BLITZ NOW

This sinner is so pretentious xD /pos

TIME TO REENACT THE GHOST SHOW

But, how will we get to this plot

Blitz being hyperfixated on ghosts because he's watching Ghostfuckers to cope is not something I was expecting

Aww Millie made an 'Unconditional Support' ticket <3

Aren't y'all bankrupt, take any job y'all can get =/

Blitz is Horny✨

Okay.. I don't think going that insane is normal... I mean ya it was a bankruptcy but don't break ur windows

Loona and Moxxie subplot is happening!

Did Blitz just make a Mean Girls Reference ?? /pos

Blitz.. stop watching the ghost porn, you are supposed to kill the ghost

Millie let him stay in delulu so that he doesn't stay in catatonic grief

Blitz is going to need a second job after this like sheesh

Sudden costume change is sudden. like, did they change in the wild open or smthn?

BLITZ WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MIMICING THE GHOST PORN

Blitz, you'll have to be an assassin today, not Angel Dust

Oh.. Blitz is flashing us.. BESTIE HOW'D YOU GET THOSE EXTRA SCARS

Millie must clean both hotel and van fluids today

BLITZ YOU ARE NOT BEING FILMED UNLESS YOU CAN SEE THE FOURTH WALL AND IF SO LISTEN TO ME

..Also why can't they say fuck in the porn show?? [Unless that was some other f word]

Iconic scene from trailer is Iconic [its the 'prepare to get sucked on by the astral plane' one]

Whoopsies ig

Blitz stop annoying the hotel guests

Okay.. Millie is actually annoyed at Blitz

I swear I'm getting Deja Vu from the 'Who needs you anyway'

And here come the ghost shenanigans!!~

Slenderman but make it Millie

Okay the hallucinations be happening all at once

Is there actually a ghost or is Blitz having a panic attack/ hallucinating all of this?

BABY WE BUILT THIS HOUSE ON MEMORIES!!~ /ref

oh fuck oh fuck BLITZ I AM GOING TO HUG YOU NOW

It was a panic attack! [Also Blitz here's your 3rd hug]

Where was Millie this whole time? As far as I can tell Blitz fell out the vent and had a panic attack but what was Millie doing?

We stan supportive Millie! <3

Flashback time!!!

Those who said that Blitz and Millie shared a hit were correct!!

WAIT IT WAS ACTUALLY MOXXIE FIRST [Our headcannons were lies!]

This combat style is so unique! I love it!

Millie suffered from internalized racism back in the day

You have only seen the first of it Mills

No, she'll love him, so much that they are now married

Oh look! 'We deserve worse' buddies! One helps the other whenever their low! :3

Internalized Racism is Internalized

Aggressive love, the best kind for all demons

You saw potential in Moxx in the prison break, mention that!

Where had the pendant gone that Millie found it?

Fuck ya! Blitz feels better now!! >:3

WELL FIGURE IT OUT

Oh! Envy residents are 'Infesters!'

Ghost shit! For real this time!

Time to get possessed Blitz!!

Or.. Not

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Welcome to the trauma slideshow!

MILLIE HE'S GOING TO THINK YOU MADE HIS PANIC ATTACK WORSE WHEN THIS IS OVER COMFORT HIM AGAIN AND TELL HIM THE GHOST FUCKED IT UP

Oops, the opposite way, it's gonna ruin Millie's POV

FUCK I THINK THE LEAKS ARE GONNA HAPPEN

Both Blitz and Millie are gonna need hugs

I WILL MURDER YOU RONALDO DON'T YOU DARE RUIN THE BESTIES

Ronaldo probably wouldn't even be able to taste Blitz's insecurity if he pushed Millie away because Blitz wouldn't be around anymore

I'm sure Millie can tell it's the ghost, right? Why would she trust the ghost

FUCK YES MILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My girl!!!

Did Blitz actually change his last name to Demon-Dicker xD /hj

That was.. easy

'i never had a real friend that i didn't wanna fuck' How did Blitz just say the most loveless aroallo thing ever

Alright! He's confessed that Stolas got to him and doesn't want a threesome anymore!

Glad they can both agree they wanna fuck Moxxie xD

MOXXIE SOLVED THE PAPERWORK!!! YAYY

Overall, not what I was expecting, but loved it nonetheless!!

[heyheyitsjae]

So the trailer for The Minecraft Movie (sorry, “A Minecraft Movie”) came out a couple days ago. I had a lot of thoughts upon seeing it, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, and have been combing through other people’s takes the last few days, so I’ve been itching to talk about it. The trailer is currently sitting at 500,000 likes vs 900,000 dislikes, so obviously it hasn’t been received well. Even the official Minecraft channel hasn’t uploaded it, only linking to WB’s upload. I thought I’d go back to the beginning and give my thoughts on progress as stuff from the film came out. 

So the first major red flag for me was when they announced the film was going to be in live action. I could not for the life of me fathom that decision. Minecraft has such a goofy and stylized world that it would only really work in animation, and we’ve had plenty of excellent Minecraft animations over the years to prove that. The Fallen Kingdom Pentology, Villager News, Cas van de Pol’s shorts, Kelpilox’s memes, Hapico’s stunning 3D shorts, and of course the official update trailers. Time and time again Minecraft has proven that both hilariously funny and epicly badass content can be made in its world, often by the fanbase. 

And yet, they chose to make the film in live action. The only way I could possibly think of this working would be if they entirely ditched the blocky aesthetic, and made it a high fantasy like Lord of the Rings, The DnD Movie, or even The Princess Bride. There’s plenty of fantasy elements like Creepers, Endermen, and Piglins that could keep something like that grounded in Minecraft’s world, even if it would be an odd choice. 

Then the birthday short came out. For those of you that don’t know, as a part of the 15th anniversary of Minecraft they put out a short on YouTube and Tik Tok of Jack Black and Jason Momoa cutting a cake and wishing Minecraft “happy birthday.” The actors weren’t even wearing any sort of outfit or costume for the film, and their acting felt very strained and terrible. I had my fingers crossed that they just cheaped out because it’s a promotional short, but it was still a bad sign. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2f0fPzZNPWw 

Then concept art started to leak for the film. While there were a couple of designs I did find cool like the Spider and Elytra, others like the Pig and Villagers concerned me and looked pretty doofy. These were obviously created by a variety of artists, so there was no telling who’s vision they would go forward with, and I saw it as a bit of a coin flip. 

Then the actual trailer came out, and… oh boy… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE2YZhcC4NY&t=1s 

For a start the opening shot didn’t seem all that bad to me. Yeah real life Minecraft is still a weird concept, and that archway looked unnatural, but at least some level of effort seemed to have gone into it. 

And then the actors showed up and all hope dropped. Their implementation into the film felt really awkward and lazy. Every shot they’ve got an awkward glow around them, either a result of being poorly green screened or needlessly backlit. They often feel out of scale with the environment and there’s a decent amount of shots where they don’t even cast a shadow. They feel so unnatural in this world. It makes you wonder, if all the backgrounds and mobs are gonna be done in CGI anyway, why not make the humans CGI and the whole thing an animation from the get go? 

The wardrobe of these actors is also a strange one. One that stands out as odd to me is Momoa has blonde hair, a brown beard, AND a pink jacket? At least make his hair and beard the same color it just looks awkward. 

And of course the king of awkward stand-outs is Jack Black as Steve. They didn’t even try, they just threw a blue shirt on him and called it a day. They could have at least trimmed up his beard. It’s especially odd they went with Black given Jason Momoa is right there!? Momoa has the perfect skin tone, right beard shape, and roughly the right amount of muscle mass to be Steve. The only thing that doesn’t really line up is his hair is a tad long, but if they were gonna put him in a wig anyway that’s not a hard fix. 

Most of the delivery in the teaser also feels pretty stiff and none of the jokes land. So far it’s got a strong “gulp, he’s right behind me” vibe that I’m not digging. 

Before we get to the moment you’re all waiting for, a couple of little side complaints on minor things. 

Something I noticed in the trailer that super bugged me, but I’ve only seen one other person mention so maybe I’m overreacting, is the logs on the scene where they meet Steve. For some reason the bottom railing has the logs rings facing up toward the crenelations or sideways into each other, but the crenelations have the logs facing sideways toward the camera!? Not only does it look really bad, but that’s the kind of thing that would take a lot of extra effort to do in-game, placing and breaking two extra blocks for each bump, only for it to ruin the build. 

And then there’s the crafting table. This scene was a bit quick, blink and you’ll miss it, so I didn’t give it much thought on first viewing. I just assumed Mamoa put two buckets and a chain on the table… but he didn’t. He threw like, six iron ingots and five cobblestone, onto the table and it somehow worked. The items on the table weren’t even lined up with the crafting grid. It’s the literal fucking name of the game and they couldn’t get it right!? HOW, HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY!!!

Okay now we’re on to the REAL bad bit! The mobs in this film are a train wreck. They are a shining example of what I mentioned before, either you make this film entirely animation or entirely live action. This awkward halfway point just creates an uncanny valley feeling that’s disturbing to look at. Most of them feel A.I. generated. 

The Sheep and the Llama are obviously the worst contenders. They look like something a parody YouTuber would throw together for a grossout short in 2013. I’ve heard some people try to defend this movie by saying “it’s just for kids, don’t be so hard on it.” I can’t think of a single five year old that would piss their pants crying in fear if they saw this thing pop up on screen. They are horrendous. 

Then there’s the Wolf. The Wolf doesn’t look as bad in comparison. There’s something off about its lips and hind legs, but I think obscuring it in shadows is saving us from the brunt of whatever the hell could be going on. 

And then there’s the Creeper, which is an… interesting choice. A lot of people have complained that it’s fuzzy, but looking at the poster it seems a bit odder than that. It looks like its skin is made of a dirt like substance and its fir is grass, which is… a choice. For those that don’t know, the original description we were given of Creeper skin was that it was “crunchy like dry leaves.” This has led to basically everyone assuming Creepers are plant-like creatures, with most people giving them scaly skin. I suppose grass fir fits with being plant-like, but it’s not scaly or dry at all. To be fair, a lot of fan theories have suggested Creepers could be made of peat moss, and it looks a little like that, but it’s still off. 

That then brings us to the Piglins who… honestly don’t look that bad. I think a combination of smaller eyes, less fur, and not being based on a real life animal makes them a lot more digestible than the other mobs in the film. I also like the use of Ghasts as airships. That was a concept we saw in one of the Fallen Kingdom songs that Minecraft almost implemented into canon with Minecraft Legends. While these Ghast airships are nowhere near as cool looking as either of those examples, at least it’s something. But there’s a lot of stuff to talk about with the Piglins aside from their appearance, so let's get into it. 

The first is a common complaint I’ve seen people make: how they’re able to breathe in the Overworld, when normally this causes Zombification. We *might* have an answer to this. In Minecraft Legends the Piglins tried to invade the Overworld. They brought with them huge Nether Spreader devices that spread Netherrack and heated the air, while the Horde of the Spore bred and spread mushroom fungal spores into the air. The spores made the air breathable for Piglins, and the heat presumably killed off the virus. 

Now that made sense for Legends, but doesn’t really make sense here. After the Piglin Invasion, the Horde of the Spore was hit hardest by the war. While survivors of the Horde of the Hunt remain in the Crimson Forests and the Horde of the Bastion remain in the Bastion Remnants, Piglins have since abandoned the Warped Forests, with Hoglins even developing a fear of the Warped Fungi, leaving the Horde of the Spore extinct. 

During Legends the Piglins had giant machines and an entire third of the army dedicated to making the Overworld breathable, while this trailer seems to show the much smaller modern Piglin army, so I have no idea how they are keeping alive. 

The other big issue that rises with the Piglins being here is… why? In Legends the Piglin Invasion at least sort of made sense. In the base game we had the Ruined Portals revealing travel between the two Dimensions was once more common, and the Bastion Remnants hinting that Piglins were once more populous and militaristic. Legends answered both of these by implying that the Piglins once tried to invade the Overworld, but after their four abusive kings were killed the few survivors split up and determined the Overworld not worth their efforts. 

The Piglins went from a militaristic and imperial force determined to conquer, to a small band of tribes that, while territorial, are ultimately friendly. They’ve become far less united and greedy (assuming they even were that greedy, Legends is a story written by the victors after all.) Based on the outfits, and Steve being alive, it seems the Piglins in this film are the *modern* Piglins. The chill dudes that give you enchanted boots for gold and compose fire mixtapes. The whole turning an entire race in your story into mindless evil monsters for Legends was already something that didn’t sit well with the Minecraft fanbase, especially with how adorable Piglins are, so using the friendly version of them as the bad guys in the film is an odd choice. We already have a group that raids villages, the Illagers, and a group that's yet to get the story spotlight, the Undead, both of whom would’ve been more logical and interesting villains for the movie. 

That brings me to another minor point that I think is worth bringing up here. I’ve heard some people complain about the portal at the start and while I agree it shouldn’t be blue, it's not for the same reason they do. A lot of people claim the portal should be purple, which is actually not true. Purple is the color of the Nether Portal yes, but we know from Minecraft Story Mode and the Infinite Dimensions April Fools Snapshot that that portals in this world can be basically any color, with each Dimension getting its own color, so the idea of the human world not being purple makes sense. 

But I think this shade of light blue is a bad choice, for one simple reason. The plot of Minecraft Legends was: Piglins decided to invade the overworld, so heroes from a far off land were brought in through a light blue portal to fix it. So far, the plot of this film seems to be: Piglins decided to invade the overworld, so heroes from a far off land were brought in through a light blue portal to fix it.

We’re just doing Legends again, which I cannot fucking fathom. Why the hell would you make a “Minecraft” movie and then base its plot on something exclusive to one of the sequels. Where’s the logic in that!? It’s especially baffling that Legends of all things was the one they decided to go with. Filming for this film didn’t start till earlier this year, sometime after February, meaning that things like actor schedules, lot rentals, and creating props probably weren’t set in stone until like, last August. 

That was well after Legends was the biggest critical and financial flop of any Minecraft spin-off (sans maybe Earth, but that never really came out.) This film had already been delayed time and time again, presumably because the script wasn’t up to snuff, so one more delay after it had been proven that people didn’t want to see that story wouldn’t have been that big a deal. Then again, Legends wasn’t officially canned until a couple months before filming and Black and Momoa probably have busier schedules and had to be booked further in advance. But it still feels like a poor choice that they had time to course correct on. 

Although there is ONE thing that sets this story apart from Legends. It appears to be going down the Jumanji route. Now while you could argue Legends already was an Isekai story, at least in that case it was someone traveling from a Minecraft world to another Minecraft world. Here we’ve got another fucking instance of a bunch of people being sucked into the videogame world. 

As people have mentioned before, having Jack Black in here is automatically giving Jumanji vibes, but even ignoring that I’m so damn sick of every single videogame movie being an Isekai. It is so annoying that game worlds aren’t allowed to exist as their own thing. The protagonist always has to be some outsider from the real world sent to this strange and kooky realm, and it’s just annoying. Videogames are fun when they have rich, fleshed out, and lived in universes, and reducing that to either “I’ve been trapped in the game” or “I’m unfamiliar with this world at tall” robs them of a lot of their wonder. The Mario Movie did it, the Monster Hunter Movie did it, the Sonic Movie did the reverse of it. We need more Detective Pickachu type films, where we explore people from a far out place in that far out place. 

Now let’s shift gears into less of aesthetic annoyances and more into potential spoiler territory. 

Something that I didn’t notice while watching the trailer, and I’ve only seen one person point out, is that The Seer from Minecraft Legends shows up at one point, surrounded by a crowd of Piglins. Now I would assume this movie is non-canon (it’s not made by Mojang and previous stuff not made by Mojang, like Story Mode, have been non-canon.) But if it IS canon, The Seer being there has interesting implications for the series lore/timeline. 

First and foremost is the idea that the Seer and Steve are alive at the same time. Steve is in both the base game and Dungeons, both of which were agreed to happen in a similar time-frame anyway. (Dungeons has both statues of the Ender Dragon being alive during the Arch-Illager’s reign and statues of her getting slain.) But Legends is agreed upon taking place hundreds if not thousands of years prior to the events of the main game. None of the ruined and abandoned structures of modern Minecraft are in it and it depicts the origin of most of the series main races/factions. 

In order for The Seer and Steve to be alive at the same time it either means The Seer is immortal and has been hiding in the background for a while, or Steve is both immortal and MUCH older than we thought. Of the two the first seems more likely, and creates interesting potential for The Seer. They’re the only major antagonist from any of the three main games to not either be befriended or killed (I’m sure someone in Story Mode survived I’m forgetting about) and so their story is unfinished. They also serve as a great explanation for the Piglin army.

The Piglins only attacked during Legends because they were ruled by tyrannical kings who borderline enslaved their people and had a might-makes-right mentality. With all these kings dead, and no army left to maintain their rule/order, of course the survivors would become more independent and less militaristic. It was a logical way to transition from how they’re depicted in both games. If anyone was going to revert the Piglins to their old ways, it would be the ancient hag who advised that cruel council, the only one their violent king showed an ounce of respect or fear to. Seer’s reinstating the old ways, the only question is why now? What took them so long to strike? 

But there’s another potential wrinkle in this plot that could make it more complicated, in an honestly annoying way. Throughout the trailer we see the main kid in the red hoodie is holding a strange glowing blue cube (that totally isn’t just the Tesseract from Marvel.) What this device is hasn’t been explained, but I’ve seen two popular theories going around. 

The first is that it’s a Beacon. In which case, sure, whatever. The other is that it could be the Orb of Dominance and this is the Orb’s origin story, of how it became an all powerful evil artifact. That would make this film a prequel to Legends, establishing how The Seer got their hands on the Orb and got their good standing with the Great Hog’s council 

I… don’t like that. For two main reasons. The first is that this would just exacerbate the Steve is immortal problem, you’re really gonna tell me he was there for EVERYTHING!? The second is that it really drags down the Orb of Dominance’s cool factor. The way it's depicted and talked about in Dungeons implies it's some sort of manifestation of an eldritch entity hellbent on destroying or conquering everything it comes into contact with, who has been vying for power since the dawn of time. Now it’s… something(?) that the humans brought with them. While still mysterious, I suppose, it sounds a lot less cool now (although let’s be honest, it was always a little dumb.) 

Also slightly off topic but I just want to mention, PhoenixSC made a video reviewing the teaser, and WB copyright struck him and forced him to mute a portion of the audio. Now you might think “oh well they own the trailer they’re allowed to do that” but no, it wasn’t anything from the teaser they took down. You know what it was? A couple minutes of a fanmade Minecraft short-film Phoenix was praising for being better than the official thing. Not only is that footage they don’t own any right too, but reviewing things is well and truly covered under fair-use. 

That’s an absolute scumbag movie. Combine that with the recent controversy Jack Black is getting into and I say please, just don’t watch this film in theaters. It’s clear not an ounce of care or love went into making this. It already looks like such a by the numbers and cheaply put together thing. They can 100% do better and we 100% deserve better.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

TOO GOOD

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader Summary: Eddie's loves having sex, more specifically with you. Warnings: mentions of unprotected sex (piv), giving head (blow job) mention of denied orgasm. Notes: based on 'Sex On Fire' by Kings Of Leon

he laid where you laid, in the back of your car.

he didn't mind if anyone saw the shadows in the window.

and he knew you were too focused to care.

his hand was placed over your mouth, trying to silence you from your screams, so you don't make a sound so sinful, people walking by could hear.

all the commotion, in such a small pace.

all the grinding and moans and heavy breathing made it hard to breath in such the small area.

it seemed like you were playing around, the way you two both laughed breathlessly at each other, smiling like idiots.

you've both done this before, and apparently been caught cause the next day, people were talking about it, staring at the two of you weirdly, as if they saw you glued to each other in his van, grinding selfishly.

it started by giving him head while he was driving back to his trailer, but he couldn't help but pull over to an alley, the dark faded streetlight being the only source of light.

he pulled you up from him, moving to the back seat, pulling you with him.

"I don't wanna crash your car" he said, placing you on top of him, holding your hips, rubbing gently

it was late at night, at least 10. you had came back from a date at the movies, were you spent most of the hour and a half making out.

your plump lips were open and your knuckles were pale as you gripped onto the objects around as he grinded up into your hole.

it felt like he was dying as he reached his orgasm, it felt as though he was in heaven, feeling the bliss of releasing in your pretty mouth.

sex with you to Eddie was hot, sensual and sinful.

as you lifted yourself up, you swallowed his juices, a few beads of his cum leaking from your lips and dripping down your chin.

you kissed him, and he could taste it.

as you pulled away, he chased your lips, capturing another sloppy kiss

every time you guys make love, Eddie makes it last and he makes it count; something to remember because he want it to be the best sex you've ever had, even if it happened to your last time together

but, together you two were the greatest. and every time you two touch one another is the greatest time.

it's an understatement to say that Eddie was obsessed with you.

he loved the way you made him feel

he craved the way your touch felt

the way your body moves against him makes him crazy.

he was utterly infatuated and completely in love with you

he moved your hips to meet with his as you sat up, your figure slightly bent to not hit your head in the roof of your car.

he positioned you before letting you sink down on his dick, his eyes rolling back as you immediately started rolling your hips, you had no need to adjust anymore, you had already done this so many time before, it was almost as if he fit you like a puzzle piece.

he was usually on top, or, in a lot of cases, behind you

but god he just loved seeing you bounce on him, your tits jumping along with your movements aa you clawed at his chest. it was one of the best sights to see, and in this closed proximity, he was bound to hit his head on the roof if he was on top.

these are the things Eddie found comfort in, something he found to want regularly.

having himself deep inside you, watching you as you squirmed around in place, growing tired and drunk on his cock.

he lived for the way you whimpered, moaned and screamed for him, they was his favourite sounds, other than the sound of your body's slapping together, or the wet, sloppy sounds of your juice being pushed back into your core by his deep thrusts.

it always gets him going.

it's too good. no one could ever beat the way you feel, tight around his twitching member. occasionally squeezing your walls against him, making it harder for him to hold it and keep grinding up. it was all too much.

you always challenged how far he could go, sometimes showing a dominate side and denying his orgasms, although none of you had labels in bed, you were both free to get off on each other.

no one could ever be as good as you. not that he tried comparing, or imagined someone else.

he wasn't a virgin when you got together, but he wasn't not a virgin either, it was confusing to you when he tried explaining it.

but he loved having sex with you.

it was hot.

and it was too good

------------------------------------------------

[unclewaynemunson]

Some more Clarkson content (I think it’s democratically decided that that’s their shipping name now) for all the 4.5 people going feral about them with me:

Wayne met Scott Clarke once or twice back when Eddie was in middle school. The man was always up for a chat, even if Wayne didn’t exactly excel at small talk - Mr. Clarke made up for that with an admirable ease. After Eddie moved on to high school, he would run into the man at the grocery store every now and then, and they’d always greet each other - Mr. Clarke with a smile, Wayne with something no one but Eddie can recognize as a smile - but they never really talked much.

Then, Wayne finds a body in his living room. Eddie goes missing, reporters are crowding his home, and the police is more than ready to accuse his nephew of the most horrific things imaginable. Wayne spends his days practically going out of his mind with worry, and on top of the all-encompassing fear about what happened to his nephew, he has to deal with dirty stares and whispered conversations behind hands wherever he goes. The man who raised a murderer. That’s all he has become to the general public of Hawkins.

So when Scott Clarke knocks on the door of the vacant trailer he’s been moved to because of that weird leak in his ceiling, he’s about ready to shout at the man and slam the door in his face. Three excruciating days have passed since he found that girl and the powerless fear is eating him alive, and he is more than done with all those sensation-seeking nitwits - he just wants to be left alone so he can come up with some kind of plan to help Eddie, even though he has no clue where his boy is or if he’s even alive.

But Scott Clarke isn’t looking at him like all the others - he’s holding a casserole in his hands and his smile is gentle and sympathetic.

‘I remember your nephew from when he was in middle school,’ he says. ‘I’m so sorry about what happened. This whole situation must be terrible for you. Thought you could use a home-cooked meal and a listening ear - if you want to.’

And all his anger instantly melts away when he sees the genuine look in Scott’s eyes.

He opens the door further. ‘Why don’t you come in, Mr. Clarke?’

Scott looks around, takes in the bleak environment that is Wayne’s temporary home. But there’s no judgement in his eyes, no contempt, not even pity. He takes a seat and Wayne makes them some coffee, and he listens to what Wayne has to say in a way that no one has ever listened to him before: he gives him the time to think about his words, he nods and hums in agreement, he asks questions without being prying... And Wayne tells him all about Eddie; he finds the words he couldn’t find when that curly-haired reporter girl asked him about his nephew, when he couldn’t manage more than a grossly oversimplified “It just ain’t in his nature.” He tells him how Eddie always feeds the stray cats - and even an occasional raccoon - that wander around the trailer park; how he always makes Wayne fresh coffee when he goes to bed right before Wayne has to start his night shift; how he keeps an eye on the kids around Forest Hills whose home situations are less than ideal; how he came to Wayne broken and scared in escape of a father who used to beat him in attempts to make him less soft; how he cries at sentimental commercials and how loudly and unabashedly he shows his love for his friends.

Wayne hasn’t cried yet, not as long as there’s still hope. But when Scott looks at him all understanding and tells him he had a soft spot for Eddie ever since the boy set foot in his classroom, in his last year of middle school with a black eye and bruises on his arm, he finally breaks down. And the touch of Scott’s hand, covering Wayne’s with his own, while he sits quietly beside him, is the first comfort he has felt in a very long time.

[jiminsass-istant]

https://www.tumblr.com/jiminsass-istant/757347061963374592/who-watched-the-leaked-trailer-from-disney-hotstar?source=share

I did lol when i saw ppl saying it's released in my country but of course i didn't say anything to anyone 😂

Funny thing is it's first found by a jk (closeted or full on tkkr who doens't like jm) acct @97ARCHIEVES. And now mfkrs(tkkrs) are posting pics cropping jm out and using one part of jk saying "I miss our members" as a gotcha moment 😭 like y'all say u won't watch the show yet the first one in line to tune in?? Going"i think this was unscripted guys 🥹" Lmaoo. It's a big jk acct btw found under TK kissing fan arts going "omg" so you know how that works. This jk acct didn't even retweet travel show announcements or promotions just has been using jk's pics cropping jm to post since the first time the show was announced, mfkr had no problem going "Jungkook with taehyung??" When tae dropped those pictures but sure won't post a single jm pic. Has history of being jm and jkk anti anyways with 320k+ followers

Lol. Thanks for summarizing all events of past 1 hour, anon. I was fully online and saw everything live.

Of course a tkker LOL. So tuned in. Are they from india too? the big jk page? No wonder they saw it first. So tuned in.

The "i miss members" XD XD. I just knew they would use THAT. They will ignore all the wholesome moments because they are hungry for screenshots taken out of context. That's what they do. It's kinda funny seeing their struggle since the travel show was announced. Actually since they enlisted..no wait..actually since they travelled together in NY.

Anyway, I'm not gonna entertain too much TKker discourse unless there's good material to troll. Insignificant Spoilers ahead:

___________________________________________________________

[myfandomrealitea]

actually, I’ve been thinking about pet evacuation recently and this reminded me of how I’m about to start trying to get my cat to go into his crate (or at least allow me to get him in easier) because I’ve started to overthink about scenarios where we need to evacuate. Not trying to start an argument or make a snide comment, I just find the timing of your post interesting

There is no argument. Anyone who does not yet have these plans and this training in place or is preparing to is being irresponsible. Even if you don't live in an area known for natural disasters, you literally never know what could happen.

You could have a house fire. A sinkhole. A burst pipe. Gas leak.

Anything could happen that means you need to get your pet out and you need to get your pet out now. It could literally mean the difference between life and death for both you and your pet to have these things in place.

I've seen so many heartbroken stories about how people lost their pets in things like housefires because they didn't know where it was hiding or didn't have a carrier to get it outside or it wouldn't go in the carrier because it had never been in one before.

You need to practice these things. You need to have a plan in place. You need to teach your pet that in an emergency you are the safe place. No matter how sure you are that you know your pet or you'll never be one of those people who needs to do it.

All pets where it is realistic to do so should be trained in:

Not freaking out if they wind up stuck or tangled in something. Especially prey animals like horses who can severely injure themselves and anyone trying to help them by panicking this way.

Evacuating the location in an emergency/rush and in the transportation method available. Trailer, carrier, ect.

Taking medicine, being inspected and treated for injuries.

Having their faces/eyes/ears/noses covered in the instance you need to do so to prevent them from inhaling something, getting something in their eyes, ect.

[cuntfan]

Okay guys theory time!

(this has references to the NYCC clip from last year which I didn't see but I've heard the audio and the description)

So in the NYCC clip from last year when Crowley enters the bookshop he says 'This is ridiculous, why don't you go by trains, you love trains' to someone while holding plants. And from some leaked behind the scenes photos as far as I remember there was a photo of Aziraphale driving the Bentley. So given today's sneak peak what I'm inferring is that Crowleys been living in the Bentley and so his plants are in the backseat as seen in the trailer, but zira needs the car to do some work ( potentially something related to bringing the girls together maybe or maybe something Gabriel related) so Crowley has to temporarily move in to Ziras bookshop.

And I think this happens post Gabriel discovery and post the ' I'm back' scene which I think is also the scene where Crowley proposes they work together to solve the heaven issue which he learns about from Shax in the beginning . I also think the reason Crowley says I'm back is because they've maybe had a bit of a falling out (cuz the arrangement isn't there anymore maybe) and maybe that's why Crowley seems all existential in the sneak peek and hence they propose a new mission (getting the girls together/ get rid of Gabriel)to get back into their friendship.