#until it's safely removed
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As you all may have seen, my mother passed away on September 3rd in a very sudden way. We held a funeral service for her on the 10th and laid her remains to rest on the 11th. Needless to say, I am still grieving, and a lot of changes are happening in my life currently on top of that. For one, I lived with my mother as her caretaker, and am now moving in with my grandparents for the time being. Admittedly, I may find myself leaning on my role-play blogs to get through this difficult period in my life if and when I can find the time for myself, but at the same time, there are still various things me and my family still need to take care of and that takes priority naturally. I'm sorry to have to say again that I will not be around or even in messages much, at least in the beginning, but I hope you guys can understand. Thank you.
#✰ — 𝒉 𝒐 𝒔 𝒕 𝒆 𝒔 𝒔 ,#✰ — 𝒏 𝒐 𝒕 𝒊 𝒄 𝒆 𝒔 ,#𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑢𝑒𝑑 ♥#𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴:#death#irl death#parental death#funeral mention#mother mention#[#i'm also still helping my (other) grandmother#with the whole fire incident#they found asbestos in the house#so the contractor can't even begin to work#until it's safely removed#]
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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Very cool and not heartbreaking at all for the PJO show to emphasize that Percy is an outsider not only because he's new to the whole demigod thing, but also because he doesn't know the rules of being a traumatized kid with all the daddy/mommy issues possible
#Percy all the time: wait I treated them with kindness and didn't do anything bad#why am I not being treated kindly in return#absolutely everyone else: why on earth would you be entitled to basic human decency?#(and for the kids it's 1000% down to trauma and how they've been raised#so many of the foster kiddos I work with do the same thing#they either have to be so good and perfect (Clarisse and annabeth) that they can't be ignored which works until the parent moves#the goalpost and they're left in the dust with a perfect report card that doesn't get them a second glance#or they have to be so bad that their parents have to intervene (Luke) because#and say it with me folks#bad attention is the same as good attention if it's the only kind you ever get!!#watching this and revisiting TLT specifically has been crazy because they're kids who have been removed from home at their core#that's what our main cast of demigods are#all the year-round kids are removed from home and Percy's ability to go back home and love it just as much as he loves camp is something#that separates him throughout the series#he has a safe place to land during the TLO summer and he's using it and no one else seems to have that#Percy has a stupidly hard life but he has a home base to go to and most of those kids can't even comprehend that as an option#Percy's home is his greatest strength and it'll also forever be something that sets him apart from his peers#I just have thoughts on pjo and foster kids guys#silence emily#percy jackson#pjo tv#I'm arguing this isn't even a spoiler because it's been a running theme. fight me
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I strongly agree that there are world events that deserve much more news coverage and resources than the Titan because frankly it should’ve been immediately assumed they were dead when sonar couldn’t find them and communication was lost.
However, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to compare the EU coast guard and the US and Canada's various first response teams that responded to the Titan. Because they’re separate entities.
Do I think people should care more about the refugee ship that capsized due to alleged incompetence of the coast guard? Yes. I do. And I hope more survivors can be found because that was a genuine tragedy.
Do I think that it should be getting the same kind of attention as the Titan? Not really. Because people are just memeing on the Titan, and the average tumblr user has around $0.20 to their name and maybe 400 followers so this isn’t a very good platform for getting meaningful help for those affected by that situation.
This isn’t even a “you can care about two things at once” situation, because again with the Titan you should be very amused by 4/5 of those deaths whereas there’s nothing funny about what happened to that fishing ship. These are very different niches in cultural awareness and your ire should be towards media companies over random people on social media.
#Idk it just feels like getting mad at someone for posting spongebob memes instead of signal boosting that a genocide is occurring#like sure if someone genuinely thinks the Titan is more tragic just because it’s rich white people then yeah#please do clown away#but it’s just a bit weird to act like people don’t have compassion for the migrants who died just because they’re mocking rich folk for dyi#guy who intentionally removed any and all safety features getting crushed into paste instantly by his own hubris#is objectively funny and I will continue laughing at Stockton rush until I die#especially since he talked up how safe it was and then named it after the titanic only for it to share the same fate#perfect set up and punchline#genuine R.I.P. to the innocent guy on board but the others were absolute morons to do it to begin with#The contract you had to allegedly sign to go on the trip? Absurd#it wouldn’t have been a good view even if successful#and it was disrespectful to make a mass grave into a tourist attraction#so I’ll toast to the death of Stockton rush and his idiotic name forever
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THIS IS WHO HE IS AT HIS CORE: A MAN WHO GIVES OTHERS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. his heart has been warring between cold blue-gray hesitancy & the fervid desire to help. what could he have done? refuse his ex-friend a safe place to land, leave her to roam these streets, hunted by the very people who want her gone? the same streets where every corner breathes the decay of crime, where one wrong move could seal her fate? Dick is not stupid — he’d seen the headlines, the seedy rumors circulating her name, all twisted around the brutal killing of a corporate giant whose hands were no cleaner than her own. whether she did it or not, he isn’t one hundred percent sure. all he knows is that she cannot afford to be seen; the city is too eager to paint her guilty. in his apartment, she’s safe from prying eyes & suspicious glances.
what’s a little more danger when he’s already neck-deep in it? after all, Dick’s always had a knack for turning the tables, for finding a way to make the chaos work in his favor.
he returns home via the well-loved fire escape. it feels as though he is suspended in some disorienting dream until he presses down on his shoulder, where he feels the telltale throb of a bruise forming. he grounds himself in the reality of pain. frustration gnaws at him; unbidden, his thoughts has wandered during patrol, and that distraction has cost him. tonight’s rewards are sore muscles, stiff joints, and the odd bruise. lately, there’s another constant reminder of this new chapter: an extra toothbrush sits in the holder on his bathroom counter, right next to his own. a spare key is on the hook by the door, ready for hands that aren’t his. there’s even a row of notes, tacked to the fridge with mismatched magnets, reminders of his schedule scribbled hastily but left intentionally, each one proof that he’s not in this alone.
absentmindedly, he scratches the underside of Haley’s chin, the spoiled pup responding with eager nudges for more. ❛ You two had any fun while I was gone? ❜ he says, gaze fixed on Haley, but the question is meant more for Kira than the pup. Dick needs to know what clock he’s outrunning. ❛ I’ve got some good news and some... less-than-good news. ❜ he approaches her with the same restraint he uses for cornered animals. which, alright, fair approach, given their circumstances. but that’s not him. that’s not the person he wants to be. ❛ Which one do you want first? ❜
A STARTER FOR SHIROGANE KIRA * @wistrea
#MUSE: DICK GRAYSON * it’s always been about catching people when they fall.#wistrea#bro did not even remove his suit yet straight to business#his heart is compassionate enough to welcome her to his apartment and allow her to rest on his bed as he crashes out on the couch#but still shoutout to logic he treads extremely lightly & carefully to this entire thing#rumor has it that one of the notes pinned to the fridge has a small smiley face at the end#and it reads:#“I’ll be out from about 10 PM until late morning. Patrol stuff. I’m also going to try to gather some intel on the case.#I know you’re great at staying hidden but my advice? Don’t move. Just stay safe. That’s all I really want.”
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my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me
#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your#ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it#*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like#this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask#if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had#fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your#fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your#swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my#abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of#gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up#for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how#hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know#how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy#am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other#organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it#get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to#get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
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FUCKIN GAMING
#AAAAAA im free!!!#until the next main story chapter at least lol#im glad to be back @ 100% stage completion though. at least for a bit#my last change was yato alter out for shining#which made everything a lot tighter since i had one less safety net#no bombs becuase i didnt feel safe removing an operator to move one#arknights
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff
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We did it folks graduation achievement unlocked >:D
#class of 2024 hs grad#okay but I feel like I just had a character growth moment tho#just last week I was avoiding all discussion about it and pretending it’s never gonna happen#putting on a stoic emotionally detached mask to remove myself from how distraught the end was making me#but then proceeding to silently cry in the car under the weight of never making connetions like this again and the inevitable struggles#then a couple days of being bitter that everyone wanted to celebrate my graduation when I wanted it to be miserable#aaaand then this week I’ve just been like ‘meh yeah why not’ lol#just totally nonchalant and treating it like an average day#but after getting some last casual conversations in there and simply chilling/hanging out with these people I’ve known#can safely say graduation was a good experience#and honestly far more pleasant then the initial heartache I anticipated for months#I mean yeah the concept of everyone I care about being ripped away from me is still enough to tense my throat#but overall I’m far more accepting of the transition and even relieved that it’s over with#especially after today and realizing ‘yeah wasn’t too bad could do again’ jksjsksp#accidentally came to terms with it in a satisfactory way in the span of a singular day how about that#and will be fine until the moment someone starts antagonizing me about getting a job 🙃#also thank you mom for taking a grainy photo resolution to save my identity hehe (was unintentional)#also this is unrelated but the amount of people who decorated their caps was incredible. Genuinely such talented people out here#they personalized the hell outta those handmade designs and I applaud the attention to detail#update#random#personal thing
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ZOOKS U HAVE TUMBLR?? HOW DID I NOT KNOW I RLLY NEED TO BE MORE ONLINE
#i'm obligated to call you a coward until you remove that anon tag#i feel like i know who it is but oh god#i'm not ready to go back to my real life yet please no#this is my safe place dammit#i won't survive out there#ama#ask me anything#anon ask me anything#anon ama
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Have I ever expressed how much I hate the phrase 'Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss'? Cause God I fucking DESPISE it so fucking much.
#screaming.to.the.gods#just kinda disliked it until that whole housing situation in college#when two of my housemates went WILD and got removed from the house two weeks in. Cause they were gaslighting us. And that was their favorit#phrase ever. To the point they made a sign and ON THE BACK was the most CULTY shit ever. Like we photographed it and took it to the dean to#be like HELP PLEASE THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT SAFE FOR US TO LIVE WITH RIGHT NOW PLEASE#God me and my irl bff went through some shit together those five weeks
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white ppl who say they're (specifically appearance wise) the irl of nonwhite characters are fucking strange to me tbh -
#vent#guys im entering my hater arc#where I do nothing but am bitter and hate until I am banned from tumblr#I am also sick and impulsive rn so uhhh#may remove most of my followers and mutuals :'p#*if we haven't really interacted before#(if u have ever messaged me for anything or follow me on priv dw ur safe)
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the thing about charoum and the illusion of free will is that he's completely uninterested in (read: irrationally nauseated by) examining to what extent his life is actually his own. he intentionally leads his life in such a way that he's in constant pursuit of pleasure and entertainment, and having the agency to do that constitutes free will to him, because a deeper examination of why he derives pleasure from the things he does unearths a coercion of his person that would send him into a deeply reactive spiral.
he enjoys his life to the extent he feels he's the one controlling other people, because there's a scared animal inside of him that knows it's being kept on a chain, and the only thing he truly has control over is who he gets to bite as they attempt to approach him.
#which once again plays a big part in why he likes gortash as much as he does#he doesn't mind when gortash does it because gortash is a specific person doing it to him#(even if it's done successfully enough that charoum doesn't realize he's been manipualted until after he's done what gortash wants)#so even if he loses control - he knows who's taken it from him.#it's like. instead of a chain staked in the ground it's the realization that there's a leash in someone's hand.#you can always bite a hand. but it's impossible to remove the stake.#so even in the loss of control he feels he's gained a measure of security back.#...talking about charoum like okay so what you have to understand is that he and gortash get along#because the only way charoum can safely contextualize anything is by sublimating his fears into kink.#charoum
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'im doing great!!!' <- had to read through old messages from their [????] to remind themselves that was a legitimate thing that happened and not just a delusion
#tw for tags- allusions to kidnapping and abuse and grooming and various sentiments around that. a vent.#genuinely had myself questioning if it actually occurred or if it was all in my head like the recurring kidnap Thoughts#i dont honestly remember much that occured around that time so#retraumatise urself a little to remind yourself how fucked up that was#i put ??? because i honestly. dont know what to call him. now stalker; then? abuser? groomer?#i honestly struggle w words because i struggle to give myself the grace about what happened.#but i spent some time with [removed because they could see this + Who holds no relevance] and i just. it really clicked here#what the fuck i was a child. i look at them and i see a baby and they remind me so much of myself and i was a child#and they are older than i was!! what the fuck#i struggle to give myself the grace because i know i made a lot of mistakes and i was stupid and i knew better but also what the fuck#sorry syrry. looking at them and thinking who would ever. fucked me up#and then i started questioning if it even happened or if i made it uo#and im deeply upset now rereading all of this and theres more than i remember becuase i went looking to find something with another person#acknowledging it happened and i. i dont remember it and i dont know why i did it and hes still following me and i want him to STOP#i want to feel safe again#i want my actions as a 15 y/o to not be held against me until he dies#im fucked up#but i think i needed to say these things. to put them out into the world. i feel a little better. ill probably delete this later#nyxtalks#jesus this is a swing from my last post sorry guys#ik nobody read this far but i feel the need to say it. this is not the kind of person i want to be online
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You guys, I know who the spy is in "The Spies"
Spoilers for episode 23 of The Mandalorian below the cut...
It was Hux.
No, not Commandant Hux, whom we saw holo-speaking to Moff Gideon this week. I'm talking about little 5-year-old Armitage "Armie" Hux, the bastard, unwanted child of said Commandant.
Little Armie Hux infiltrated the Children of the Watch and has been reporting on their activities to his father in a bid to win his affection. How did he do it? Well, you know Paz Viszla's son? The one who spent an entire night inside a giant bird? That was Hux. Hux killed little Paz, Jr. offscreen before the bird attack and has been pretending to be him ever since (which is pretty easy when your religion requires you to never show your face). Ironically, had Bo-Katan not led a rescue mission and pulled lil' Hux out of that bird, he would not have been able to tell Daddy Hux about when the Mandalorians had headed out to Mandalore, thus making Bo-Katan once again responsible for the near total destruction of her people.
Does this theory make sense? No, but it certainly tracks with the level of logic this season has been operating on so far, and it does connect The Mandalorian to the sequel trilogy, because we just can't enjoy a series based on its own merits anymore; everything has got to be a part of one big fucking thing now. Disney + is losing money, people are getting tired of Marvel, and it's going to be years before those new Rey-led films come out, so let's franchise-ify the one thing that HAD been working on its own because we don't know how to do anything else.
Also, Hux is a spy in The Rise of Skywalker, so this establishes how he became good at spying.
#the mandalorian#mando season 3#god this season is dumb#the Mandalorians finally have an actual home on Navarro where they can live openly#free from giant bird attacks#but instead Bo-Katan's all MANDALORE NOW#And everyone is just#okay let's remove our ENTIRE community where we know that we're safe#and just hover over this abandoned glass ball until it's safe enough to come down#where we will be completely vulnerable to attack#go team
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#/vent#personal#internets#like you can see the attempts to not vent and focus on the positive availed me nothing#this is just really annoying how people are outright not seeing the hypocricy of the whole thing#i perpetually feel like i've finished a quest people normally take years on early and now i just... wait here. all alone.#for other people to catch up with seeing the Whole Thing.#unfortunately you only really GET this when either you face this attitude or someone you know does#there is just an illusion that if you sit quietly and nod along the witch-hunters will not touch you#but honestly the only way to really be safe is to become just like them#because again autonomy is a reason to lose interest in being your friend at least and reason to shun you at most#ugh... i really really REALLY do not know what to search for to make me focus on GOOD things#it boils down to bugging my friends to send me good drawings or funny memes to reblog#or to urgently shutting internet down because over two vents per day is kind of an overkill#i just do not understand why the hypocricy of the witch hunters is not painfully obvious#how much more obviously bad things can get than the pure desperation to remove the person for merely the failure to control them?#the silver lining i guess is that trying so hard means i really get on their nerves.#i am just frustrated#how many years should pass until people come to me and say 'hey you was right and btw they bullied me too xD'#like they kept coming to Mico after having previously tossed him away too#they always come back but it is always too late and always at the expense of them facing the witch hunt too!#what it takes a mf to learn from mistakes of others and not their own?#i will just... stay here. and wait. until people realise the corruption of the Whole Thing.#sometimes i wish i myself had more time to be naive
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