#until it's not

[shmeemin]

i should be given a dollar every time someone comments something along the lines of "voltron in 2024???" on my art

[jaratedeguadalupe]

remus drawing i made half a year ago

[prismaticpichu]

Because I know you've at least had ideas about this:

Zack convinces Sephiroth to play Mario Galaxy. He did not think about the library that could potentially spark an early Nibelhiem incident.

SPACE MOM OH YEAHHHHH!!!!! (The prompt is phenomenal shhshshde thank you!)

~~

The two get into a groove almost immediately after the disc is inserted, with Sephiroth absolutely enthralled by the game’s celestial coating and Zack absolutely overjoyed that his buddy seems to like it. Seph is a quick learner too, grasping the controls and objectives as easy as pie, meaning they’re able to slide right into a comfortable system wherein control is alternated after each galaxy–Zack’s turns being nothing short of pacifist runs while Sephiroth finds catharsis in obliterating bloodless enemies. Time becomes nebulous as they play for hours on end, steamrolling through the levels and reaping the planets dry of star bits. They get into such a smooth rhythm, in fact, having such a blast zipping through galaxies, that they shoo away the pesky little pop-up that appears every time they collect a Power Star.

This eventually culminates in the credits rolling, Sephiroth not wanting it to end, and Zack remembering that they’ve yet to explore the library. 

It also means they read the story all in one sitting. Hooooooo boy.

 

Chapter 1 

“How many chapters are there?” Sephiroth quirks an eyebrow, reading the chalky text fading onto the screen. “And what is this music? A toddler’s lullaby?”

 “Oh hush, bud.”  Zack presses the button to continue. 

Our story begins a very, very long time ago with a young girl. One day, this girl spotted a rusted spaceship holding a small star child.

“She seems very nonchalant about it,” Sephiroth grunts, must having to point out the obvious. Now that is just ridiculous. He could accept the space bunnies, and the turtle’s quest for intergalactic domination, and even the whole bee persona (that one was still weird)—but to make him suspend his disbelief to the point where a little girl wouldn’t run away screaming in terror? What kind of little girl was this?

“Some people love the unknown, y’know?” Zack shrugs with a grin, flimsily answering his questions. “I’d totally check out a spaceship if it crashed in my backyard.” He doesn’t wait for party pooper Seph to counter that statement before flipping the page.

And there, pressing that single A button, may have just been one of the top ten worst mistakes he’s ever made.

"What's your name? Are you lost?" the girl asked the star child.

“I'm Luma, and I'm waiting for Mama. She's coming for me on a comet!" said the star child, who had been waiting day and night.

Uh oh.

Sephiroth’s chest twists at the words—the word—appears on the screen before him. It’s not a complete knot yet, not something tethered to the point of constriction. But it’s there. And he feels it.

“You okay, bud?” Zack blinks towards his friend, seeing the discomfort. “Do you wanna—“

“Keep going,” Sephiroth orders tautly. “It’s fine.”

Unconvinced, but not wanting to disobey his buddy, Zack flips the page.

“Don't worry. I'll wait with you," the little girl promised Luma. 

At nightfall, the little girl borrowed her father's telescope and peered into the sky. She looked and looked, but she saw nothing. Hours turned into days and then years, but still the sky revealed nothing.

Finally, the little girl sighed and said to Luma, "If we stay here looking much longer, I'll be an old lady soon."

But then she had an idea.

"Why don't we go out there and find your mother ourselves?"

The girl and Luma fixed up the rusty spaceship, and then the two set sail into the starry sky.

And this is how the search for the celestial mother began.

The word is almost ghostly on Sephiroth’s lips, almost like he isn’t even registering that it left them. It just cracked from his voice. Splintering from his heart.

“…Mother?”

By now Zack really notices the glazed look in Sephiroth’s eyes. He sets down the controller and scoots closer. Ifrit darn it… he knows the topic of family is an unhealed, sore, and raw subject for Seph. Why on Gaia would he ever make Seph play this part of the game? What kind of friend is he? A trashy one, that’s for sure.

“Hey, hey.” Zack wraps an arm around his buddy’s shoulders. “We don’t have to play anymore.”

“No,” Sephiroth protests. “I’m… intrigued by this story.” And he is. There’s a rift in him that has opened, a curiosity unveiled deep inside. A seed being planted by unseen hands.

Zack blinks, just as hesitant as before. But then he lets a smirk eclipse his face. “Even with the stupid opening?”

Sephiroth’s gaze floats towards him, staring longly. Numbly. Though a few blinks and the glass melts away, his friend’s words sink in, and a ghost of a smirk plays on his own lips. “I can forgive it.”

“Well okay then.” Zack scoops up the controller, ready to resume the game, but not before handing his pal the metaphorical wheel. “Just stop it whenever you want.”

Maybe it’s because of the arm wrapped around his shoulder, or the soothing music, but the next chapter turns out to be a much smoother ride. Seph even gets his devoid sense of humor back!

Chapter 2 

Before they left, she had packed all the essentials: telescope, butterfly net, stuffed bunny, bread, milk, jam, and apricot-flavored tea, but…

“I believe she needs some source of oxygen,” Sephiroth points out.

"I forgot to bring water!"

Or that.

At this, Luma burst into gales of laughter, and the girl began to pout.

"As long as I have Star Bits, I'll be fine," said Luma. "Want some?" The little girl couldn't stay mad after hearing this.

Luma continued to laugh, and the girl couldn't help but join in.

"All right, maybe just a nibble."

Leaning far out of the ship, the pair began to collect Star Bits with the girl's net. They almost fell out a few times, but they kept on collecting.

The Star Bits tasted like honey.

By the time the chapter is over, Sephiroth’s faint smirk has melted into a smile. He flips the page.

The smile doesn’t last for very long.

Chapter 3

A beam of light pierced through the ship's window. Thinking it was the morning sun, the girl peered through the window, only to find a turquoise blue comet shimmering at her.

The little girl shook the sleeping Luma awake and shouted excitedly, "We HAVE to get to that comet!"

The pair descended on the comet and found that it was made of ice. They looked high and low, but Luma's mother was nowhere to be found.

“Awww…” Zack frowns, saddened by the outcome. The outcome that takes Sephiroth’s chest and tangles it into a tight, serrated knot.

They have been searching for so, so long… Perhaps Luma’s mother isn’t there at all. Perhaps she never was. Perhaps she left for a reason—perhaps she doesn’t care. She clearly doesn’t, if she abandoned her son like that, if she left him to the mercy of the world alone.

The seed twitches.

Or, perhaps… she is there… somewhere… waiting.

He continues on.

Exhausted, the little girl sat down with a flop, utterly unable to take another step.

"Look!"

Peering down at the icy ground where Luma was pointing, the girl suddenly noticed clusters of Star Bits encased in the ice.

"Pretty good, huh? Finding Star Bits is my specialty!" said Luma, beaming.

"There's ice here, but it's so warm, I'll bet there's water here too."

The two decided to stay on the comet for a while.

Riding the turquoise comet, the pair continued their search for Luma's mother.

Sephiroth remains silent, numbly flipping the page. He hardly hears Zack’s check-in.

Chapter 4 

One night, the girl dreamed about her own mother.

"Where are you going?" she asked her mother's retreating back.

Abruptly, Sephiroth pauses the game.

“I… dream about my Mother.”

Zack cants his head, not exactly sure how to respond to such a statement. Seph’s shoulders have also stiffened to an uncomfortable degree—almost wintery, like the blood suddenly went cold. He removes his arm. 

“…What kind of dreams?” Zack asks delicately. Did someone turn the A/C on or what?

“…She calls to me…” Sephiroth says, that cold glaze returning to his eyes. “That I should find her. That she’s there. That she’s…” The man’s hands ball into fists, tightening, reptilian eyes narrowing as he spat out the last word. “Trapped.”

Zack shrinks back against the pillows, confused and chilled. “Seph, you’re scaring me. C’mon.”

“She’s there. Somewhere.” His lips curl into a snarl, voice honing, eyes daggerous. “My mother.” He glances up to the ceiling, as if he could burn right through it and be swallowed by the night sky. “You’re there, somewhere. I know you are. I know you are. You’re there—“

“Snap out of it, Seph.”

Without thinking Zack swipes a glass of water off the coffee table and sloshes it in Sephiroth’s face. The icy liquid claps his trap mid-sentence, and he sits there, paralyzed, water dripping from his damp bangs, the emerald eyes going wide and a myriad of emotions flickering through them. First shock, then anger, then confusion, and then… 

Sadness.

A noticeable light dims in the Mako-made irises as Sephiroth charges to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 

Zack sits there for Ifrit knows how long, enveloped in the silence, staring blankly at the closed washroom door. 

Seph looked so… crushed in those last few seconds, when whatever smog was there had cleared from his eyes. He looked so lost. So aching. And what is he doing here, holding an empty cup and watching. That’s his best friend in there!

Setting down the glass, Zack gingerly makes his way across the den to the bathroom, pressing his ear against it. 

Breathing. Sharp, rattled breathing. That’s what he hears.

“Seph…” Zack knocks against the door, two tender raps. “You okay?”

Upon hearing no answer, Zack waits a couple more beats. And when that also carries silence, he carefully creaks the door open, stepping inside. 

To be greeted by the sight of Seph tucked against the wall. His shoulders are quivering, sharp-nailed fingers digging into the ridges on his coat, the uneven breaths he heard through the door all the more audible now. It shattered Zack’s heart.

“Hey…” He slides down the wall beside him, wrapping his arm back around his shoulders, soft and thawed. “It’s okay, bud. It’s okay…” 

“My mother….” Sephiroth repeats… except this time, the words are nothing short of hollow. Broken. “I lost mine so long ago. I never even met her. I never will.” He sucks in his breath, a turbulent inhale. “She’ll never be there. No matter where I look.”

Zack rubs smooth, soothing circles along his friend’s back, through the gushing silver strands. There’s nothing he can say to make Seph’s pain go away. No magic words, no magic to assuage him. All he can do is listen, letting Seph know that he’s here, and that he cares. Cares more than anything. 

“I know, Seph…” Zack says quietly… pained, “I know it hurts.”

Sephiroth trembles. There’s no dam for his thoughts anymore, no hesitations. Not with his current presence. “Sometimes… I think that she abandoned me, like she did to Luma. Perhaps she didn’t want me, or perhaps I wasn’t strong enough, or…” He buries his head deeper, squeezing his eyes shut.

Zack squeezes him even tighter in reassurance. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, Seph. She wanted you, Seph. I know she did. And if she saw you now… oh man…” A soft, wan smile blooms on his lips. “You have no idea how proud she would be.”

Sephiroth lifts his chin, silent, blinking hazily towards his best friend, the catlike eyes wide and vulnerable as they drift in the emerald ponds. They let the silence blanket them for another swathe of time, the hum of the gaming system just barely there through the door.

“…You wanna finish the story?” Zack tenderly asks, like asking a rattled child if they can turn off the lights.

Sephiroth collects his breath, sighing deeply, unfolding himself from the wall. He brushes the spillage of locks out from his face. “…I’m an adult,” he tries to huff. 

The comment’s enough to make Zack smirk. “Yeah, but you’re still my bestest buddy. I gotta look after you.” 

They end up back on the couch minutes later, Zack practically smushed against his pal this time as he takes control of the remote again. Slowly, sparing a check-in glance to Seph, Zack resumes the story.

“Where are you going?" she asked her mother's retreating back.

Without turning, her mother replied, "Don't fret, dearest. I'm not going anywhere. I'm always watching over you, like the sun in the day and the moon in the night."

A wave of sadness washed over the girl.

"What about when it rains, and I can't see the sun or the moon?"

Her mother thought for a moment before responding.

"I will turn into a star in the clouds and wait for your tears to dry."

When she awoke, the girl's face was damp with tears.

"You have Star Bits in your eyes!" said Luma to the girl.

Wiping her face, the girl replied, "These are tears, not Star Bits. I'm crying because I'll never see my mother ever again!"

At this, Luma began to cry too. "Mama, oh, Mama... Waaaah!"

The faint, stifled sound of water plunking on plush catches Zack’s attention. Blue eyes lift, and that’s when he sees a single, glistening pearl rivering down his friend’s cheek. Zack’s heart bleeds with sympathy.

“Bud…” He reaches forward, dabbing the raindrop off with his hand. As Seph glances at him, the fragile piano music hitting its highest notes, a wobbly but true kind of smile forms on Zack’s face. “You’re crying star bits, Seph.” 

There’s something about the way he says it, or the derpiness of his smile… but it’s contagious; Sephiroth’s would-be stoic features get infected with a stupid smile of his own. A silent nod tells Zack to continue.

The pair traveled through the starry skies, and though they encountered many other comets, not one of them held Luma's mother.

Luma was despondent.

"Now, now, Luma. The rain clouds won't go away if you keep crying," the girl said, giving Luma a squeeze. "I'll give you a present if you stop."

The girl closed her eyes and said gently, "I'll take care of you."

With these words, she felt a small spark in her heart.

And so does Sephiroth, as he and Zack share another soft smile, realizing the rift is being sewn together by the second. Realizing the cement filling the craters. The warmth filling the ice. 

For the first time in a long while, if ever, it’s neither of them that initiates the hug. Zack pulls his best buddy close and Sephiroth holds him tight, resting his head against the boy’s shoulder as he lets himself be cocooned in the solace, the warmth, the love… love that is right here, right on the ground, alive and real and wanting to be beside him.

“Thank you…” Sephiroth mumbles. For everything…

Zack swells with warmth as he burrows into Seph’s collar in turn, his heart practically throbbing, the rhythm aligned like stars in the cosmos against his friend’s. “Gotta take care of my buddy.”

The rest of the story is smooth sailing. 

Suddenly, more Lumas began to pop out from the apricot planet. They were different colors, but they all shouted the same thing.

"My mama!" "My mama!"

The sight of all the shouting Lumas only made the girl laugh harder. "What am I going to do with all these children?!"

The two laughed in harmony, Sephiroth finally amused by the absurdity of it all.

Peeking into the telescope, a tiny blue dot floated into sight. It was smaller than a Star Bit.

"How strange... It's so far away, but it feels so close."

She twisted the knob of the telescope, and the blue dot grew until she could make out a grassy hill dotted with flowers. It seemed very familiar to her.

Zooming even closer, a terrace on the hill came into view.

"I used to go stargazing there when I lived on my home planet."

Even through the more tumultuous parts, Zack just clutched his friend’s arm tightly, letting them brace the tale together.

"I want to go home! I want to go home right now!"

The girl burst into tears, and the Lumas didn't know what to do.

"I want to go home! I want to go back to my house by the hill! I want to see my mother!"

The girl was shouting now, her face wet with tears.

"But I know she's not there! I knew all along that she wasn't out there in the sky! Because...because..."

"She's sleeping under the tree on the hill!"

Sephiroth’s chest tightens; Zack unties the knots.

Though usually quite cheery, one day the girl became sad again. Luma drew close and tried to comfort her.

"Mama, you still have me!"

"And don't be sad about your mama, because she's a part of you! That means she's always close by!"

"It's like me. I love Star Bits because they remind me of my mama."

Zack gives his friend one last squeeze, seeing Sephiroth’s face fall. “She’ll always be with you, Seph. Always. And hey.. I’m not so bad to be with, right?” Zack sticks out his tongue, blinking in the most innocent, derpy manner that always reaps a chuckle from Seph. 

Including now. “No,” Seph smiles, and spontaneously ruffles his friend’s hair. “You’re not.”

Moral of the story: ZACK IS SPACE MOM.

[cravatsandbonnets]

I give up

I honestly think I need to just take a break from trying to get in on the OFMD fan art phenom. My stuff is neither adorable enough or filthy enough to be noticed and that seems to be the two ends of the fan art spectrum around here and twitter. Which is fine -- honestly, I was feeling sorry for myself a bit this week but it's kind of a relief to just stop, sometimes? Stop worrying about what people will like and if I could sell some because that's always a big help when stuff sells, but trying to make something that sells inevitably ends up just fucking stressful. I was thinking about making my alphabet poster into a card deck because I can't get it together to mess about with an actual book. Formatting would be easier. But then I was thinking, how heartbreaking if I gauge interest, people say they would buy, I go through the process of finding a printer and doing layouts and then I put up a pre-order and sell 3 decks. Definitely had stuff like that happen before. All the work and hope I put into that sort of thing and then just having to cancel and refund and feel very out of sorts about it. I can't keep doing it.

[autumnsup]

Adagio

For @hdcandyheartsfest , written from the prompt "Soft." A bit NSFW toward the end.

“Harry…”

“I’m swear I’m not usually like this.” Harry’s tone was defensive, but the apologetic tilt of his eyebrows told Draco all he needed to know.

“Harry, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Harry let out a growl and shoved his face into his palms. “Why? Why now?”

They were lying in bed, mostly in the nude, and Draco couldn’t have been happier with the arrangement. Except -

“Let’s try again.”

“I’d rather try something else.” Draco let his hands do the speaking for him at first, running gentle laps along Harry’s body, circling at the fleshy parts and gliding along the firm lines of muscle and bone. “There’s nothing wrong with being soft every now and then.”

“But I’d much rather be – “

Draco silenced him with a kiss, slow and deep, and yes, it was soft, like he imagined how Harry must have kissed as a teenager, and it was so very sweet, lying together like this, and Draco wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.

“Mmmm,” said Harry. “That does feel nice.”

“Nice?” said Draco, with a leap of one eyebrow. “Can’t you think of a less generic word?”

Harry laughed and pulled Draco close. His touches were usually insistent, almost greedy, but Draco could feel that he was trying, slowing and smoothing out the movement of his hands to match Draco's, and it was wonderful.

“I’m imagining we’re in a sunlit field,” he said aloud, dreamily, while Harry continued the dance of his hands. “There’s no one around, of course, which means we can be as naughty as we like. Or, as you so astutely said, nice.”

Harry pinched at the crest of his hip, but he didn’t say anything, and Draco went on.

“The air is warm, and the field is thrumming with activity – flowers and grasses growing upward, wildlife going about their business, a breeze like a caress – and here we are, just the two of us, with no distractions.”

“Draco,” said Harry, propping himself up on his elbows. “Could I…?”

“I don’t – oh.”

Harry’s mouth was occupied for several beats, then joined by his fingers, and Draco’s thoughts grew more and more scattered amid the adagio con moto of Harry's movements, until…

“Unnnh,” he groaned, lifting his hips and flexing his thighs around Harry’s shoulders.

Harry lifted his head and grinned. “Guess what?” he said. “I’m hard again.”

[killanyone4you]

.

[chaostified]

i get distracted by every little thing sometimes and it's even worse when my brain decides "hey, adhd go!" like it's a pokemon or something

so now i'm here, unable to sit still and needing to type in a different language while also needing to write essays and stuff

i blame my dad for this. he has adhd, and my mom doesn't. it came from him so now it's his fault-

Don't do your dad like that man, he's suffering to.

[morggo]

I Will Not Apologize

Happy Pride, ya'll.

$3 download (includes version where you can color in your own Pride flag. Limited restrictions, mostly don't be a fascist or major company: https://ko-fi.com/s/ac6c284e8c

Prints: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/mxmorgan/

Shirts: https://mxmorgan.threadless.com/mens/t-shirt/regular

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[t00thpasteface]

got told at lunch "you feel like Tumblr Incarnate" and i had to tell them i've been here for 13 years and counting. i was here three years before dashcon happened. i saw the mishapocalypse. i survived the gigapause. i've been here longer than the shoelaces post. i've been here since it was hipsters versus fandom and i played both sides extensively by overdoing the sepia filters on everything and making my own flashing galaxy gif edits for my fandom posts. i'm every tumblr. it's all in me

[caleohateclub]

new reason to stay alive: outlive the trump presidency. In fact, outlive Trump. He isn’t immortal. We can live to see the day he's guaranteed to never be in office ever again and we can make sure he knows that he'll never have enough power to kill you

stay strong, friends, this isn't your fault

[dragoncarrion]

you tell a bitch to keep their cat indoors and suddenly their town is the first in the world to have eradicated every viral, bacterial and parasitic disease, they invented completely harmless cars, dogs and predators dont exist either but somehow the native songbird population is fine since the cats in this place have lost the hunting instinct, there's no pollutants or toxic plants and human cruelty has ceased to exist. and mr mittens has a chip in his brain that will explode if he doesnt go outside 10 hours of the day

[hamletthedane]

Thinking about him (the soldier in Poynter’s Faithful Until Death painting watching an apocalypse unfold around him with horror in his eyes as he tries to keep himself standing beneath a doorway, based on an actual 19th century archeological find of a man in full soldier’s garb under a doorway at Pompeii)

[marichankitty]

I thought of @milesmandel when I saw this but then I saw you had already reblogged it.

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[sillyguy-supreme]

white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already: