#until I go numb again and then I can't feel anything
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bowsers-sweaty-asshole · 1 month ago
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#I keep trying to cry it out but I'm so fucking numb#permanently disassociated and I can't control when it stops so sometimes I'm just at work and suddenly I'm back in my body and remember how#awful everything is and is going to be and I have to hold it in so tightly so no one knows I'm unraveling#until I go numb again and then I can't feel anything#I know my brain is just trying to protect me from the trauma but I'm so out of control#I can't control whats happening to me and I'm not in control of myself#everything hurts all the time#my skin hurts#my jaw hurts#my spine hurts#I'm so fucking tired I can't even sleep more than 45 mins at a time without waking up in a blind panic#my nights are just a bunch of micro naps and I'm losing my grip on reality#things I think have happened and I mention them and everyone looks at me weird and I have to laugh it off like “oh lol must have been a#dream“ while I'm sitting there panicking cause I don't remember what's real and what isn't and what hasn't happened#did I mention I'm having to navigate the healthcare market during all this as well as manage and remember all my upcoming appointments?#I know I'm going to have a psychotic break I just don't know when exactly so I can't plan for it#maybe if I'm institutionalized it will be better because I won't have to do everything by myself#someone else can make my appointments and apply for insurance and subsidies and all I have to do is cry about getting this surgery#no more jobs or anything all I gotta do is focus on not dying#at this point I'm hoping it happens soon because having to hold it together for everyone elses sake sucks#I'm surrounded by support but I've never felt so alone#why do I have to be strong for everyone? why can't I let myself cry? why am I not allowed to lament my situation but everyone else is?#all I hear is how hard it is for everyone else to go through seeing me like this#and I'm over here like.. bro uh imagine how I feel maybe?#like you're not the fucking people who will be crippled and on a liquid diet for months with a breathing tube and feeding tube#you're not the one who has to survive 8 hours of surgery and then an 11 day hospital stay#I have nothing. I am so fucking alone.
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sherlock-is-ace · 10 months ago
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#not to be depressing in new year's eve but i feel so shit right now...#all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything#and what i do manage to enjoy takes up like an hour of my life and then it becomes disappointing#that's how i would describe the past few months... disappointing#everything feels flat#I can't manage to hold on to a good feeling for more than an hour or two#i have absolutely no hope for the future and I don't even care about that anymore#nothing feels worth anything anymore#and what's really solidifying that feeling today of all days#is the fact that every year since before I was born my family celebrates new years eve#a few years ago the celebrations changed since my extended family decided to cut us out a bit but my mom brother and i still celebrate#we get yummy food play fun games and just spend the night together until midnight when we toast and go to bed#well this year it's 10:30 and we're already in bed doing the same things we do every day#being on our phones or watching a movie or whatever on our own#and it's just disappointing again#idk if it's the break of the tradition or the fact that the new year doesn't feel important this time#but i feel so fucking sad and numb and depressed#i hate it#I don't even feel like saying the usual ''hope 2024 is better'' shit#i just don't care and i don't think it's gonna be better... it's gonna be the same old shit and it's gonna be disappointing#nothing matters anymore and i don't think anyone fucking cares#i feel so numb...#i don't even know what the point of this post is... sorry about that#hope y'all's new years eve is better than mine (or new year's day idk your time zones)#angel talks#personal
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ssahotchnerr · 8 months ago
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yes! i do!! you have jj’s role and an unsub is shot dead infront of you and his blood literally soaks you and you’re shaking and speechless and aaron’s focus is to get to you and keep you safe and bring you back to earth 🥲🥲
stay with me
cw; fem liasion!reader, protective!aaron, multiple blood descriptions, panic attack descriptions, no established relationship but aaron and reader are close, there's also one small mention of aaron's shirt being big on reader, fluff <3 wc; 1k
your ears are ringing. whether it's from the gunshot or the blatant shock, you have no idea.
you're frozen in place; everything's fuzzy, your body is buzzing and your lips, hands, everything is numb.
you're not used to this. this isn't what your job usually entails. you look at pictures like this, you don't live or experience it.
in the haze, someone's approached you. someone's talking to you. someone's embraced you. there's a hand on your back, an arm attempting to shield you away. but your feet don't move. internally, you're screaming at them to move.
why won't they move?
"hey," it's aaron. you don't hear him, or process that it's him, until he shakes you ever so gently and again, he says, "hey."
you don't want to be used to this.
"i..." you rigidly stand there, staring at the unsub laid in front of you, the pool of blood around him growing as the seconds pass. you think you're articulating words, but you're not sure.
aaron follows your eyes - he opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. a swirl of emotions fill him - first and foremost, relief you're safe and unscathed, but also horror at what you just encountered - what you shouldn't have encountered.
"it's on me." you manage to choke out, feeling rather lightheaded as you view your shaky hands, and then your blouse, both spattered with red. it's on your neck, your face, and it's like you can feel every singular dot, singeing into your skin like it's bound to be permanent. a new fear fills you - will you ever be able to not feel it?
"don't look, just look at me." your head whips towards aaron, finding his gentle and concerned brown eyes. the sight allows your chest to loosen, finding the smallest bit of normalcy when it comes to breathing. you're remembering how to breathe.
aaron wants to bring the cuff of his sleeve to your skin, to wipe away the residue but he can't. he fears it would make it worse, and remind you again that it's littered on you - the last thing you needed. he wanted to calm you, not further panic you. "or better yet, just close them, sweetheart."
the term of endearment goes right past you, as you grip onto his vest, the sleeves of his shirt, anything your fingers can hold onto as he's guiding you out of the house. he's talking to the rest of the team, relaying instructions, but you only focus on keeping your eyes shut.
"it's okay, you're going to be just fine." aaron assures you, his voice low and even, soothing. "hear the leaves crunching under your feet? there's a cool breeze tonight, too. can you feel it?"
you nod gingerly. the sound is distant, but it's there. and just as he stated, you feel the cool air hit your cheeks, the wind also tousling your hair. it feels colder than cool, though, due to the stream of tears trailing downwards - have you been crying too? "i can hear it in the trees."
"that's good. how about smell, can you smell anything?"
copper.
aaron realizes his mistake the second the sentence leaves his mouth, your face paling as well as his.
"your aftershave." you blurt out, surprising yourself. despite the sheer panic, it was fairly easy to redirect your mind to him. your fingers clutched onto the fabric of his shirt more forcefully. "it smells spicy, sweet too. it smells like you. familiar. safe."
you resist the urge to tuck your face into him, but after a moment's thought, you do. you need it. you need him.
and to further secure you, aaron holds you to him, his large hand spanning the side of your head and keeping your face buried close to his chest.
your eyes open when you reach the suv; when the two of you come to a stop, when aaron's hold is suddenly absent, the sound of the door opening deeming it safe - far away from the scene.
but at the loss of his contact, involuntarily your eyes fall back to your blouse. it's stuck to your skin, soaked by the... blood.
"stay with me." aaron manages to grab your attention before you begin spiraling again, his hands lifting and hesitating. "may i?"
you nod, frantically and this time, you can feel the tears resurfacing. "please get it off me."
first, aaron unvelcros his vest, and then removes his tie, his dress shirt, leaving him in just his white tee. he drapes it over the passenger seat - at the ready.
aaron ushers you closer to the interior of the car so the open door fully covers you, blocking any view that isn't his. he unbuttons your blouse with gentle fingers, acting rather quickly as well. and respectfully, he averts his eyes - either looking strictly at his hands, the buttons on each shirt, or your face, checking in on you.
he helps you into his shirt, holding it open so you can slide your arms in. it envelopes you, and just as fast as he unbuttoned, he fastens it shut.
it feels as if a small weight is lifted off your shoulders, and aaron tosses your soiled shirt onto the ground in the backseat. he leads you to sit sideways in the passenger seat, facing him.
"i don't want to be alone." you don't know why that's the first thing to exit your mouth, but it is. your eyes lift to his, frightened and pleading.
aaron nods as he gets down on a knee, cupping your cheek with his hand. "you're sleeping in my room tonight."
"with you?"
with a stroke of his thumb, overtop those bloodstains he's desperate to wash and rid you from, he nods again. "with me."
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rottiens · 2 months ago
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contents. satoru gojō x fem reader, alcohol consumption, all the characters are adults, secret relationship au.
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"How many shots would you have to take to kiss Gojo?" Nanami asks the group as his eyes are on you, you laugh against the bottle stumbling against your lips. 
The question isn't out of place since you just answered that you would kiss Principal Yaga after taking at least about five shots out of respect and how nervous he makes you feel. However everyone knows what your relationship with Satoru is like, so the question catches you off guard. 
"Zero." Shoko answers for you and Satoru looks at her over the sunglasses, clearly displeased. "There's not enough alcohol in the world to make her kiss him." 
"Oh, no, no, wait... she's really thinking about it!" Haibara points an accusing finger at you and you can't help but laugh again, you feel the skin on your cheeks stretch and burn from the silly grin you can't wipe off. Satoru's stalking gaze feels like a torch on the back of your neck. 
You pretend to think it humming out loud, though the answer is clear to you. "At least about ten," you say, tilting the bottle up to your mouth, getting the group around the campfire to laugh filling the beach with echoes. 
"Heeey." Satoru pinches your forearm which makes you look at him, a tiny pout is later replaced by a couple of wrinkles on his forehead.
"What?" you ask softly and have to force your hands to stay still and not reach out to touch him. 
"Ten shots? That's almost an alcoholic coma."
"There are actually many things that could influence an ethyl coma," Kento clarifies.
"You can't explain much about alcohol to a person who doesn't drink." Your numb brain is sure that was Hibara, too lazy to check since your eyes were still on Satoru who was still indignantly staring at you. 
"What?" you repeat almost in a whisper. 
"Nothing." His attention returns to the campfire, the heat from the fire burns his pink cheeks and the bright flame dances on his face making his eyes look much lighter mimicking the shade of the sea at midday. 
Satoru pushes his glasses up on top of the bridge of his nose, hiding his eyes completely. 
"I'm going to get more beer," you say looking at the group, then tug on Satoru's arm to help him up, who does so reluctantly. "Can you help me with the box?" 
He walks beside you without adding anything else, shaking the sand out of his red shorts and pushing his hair out of his face. 
"Are you really upset?" The answer was obvious but you had to make sure, Satoru walks silently, sinking his feet aggressively into the sand until you reach the parking lot where your toes have never felt more grateful to touch solid ground. "Hey?" you tug on his hand and stop your steps, standing still in front of him. 
"Hhm?"
"Are you really upset?" 
"No," Satoru assures, avoiding your eyes.  
"Satoru, did you really want me to tell them that I would kiss you sober? Without a drop of alcohol?" 
You see him licking his lips battling with himself on whether to stay annoyed with you or understand your point. 
"I know."  
"I thought we were going to go slow..." 
"I know!" His hands cradle your cheeks tenderly, bringing his face up to meet yours to leave a kiss on your lips. "I was dying to touch you." 
"You know we didn't go public for you." You remind him, letting him rest his forehead on top of yours. The artificial taste of the strawberry beer he drank earlier sneaks into your mouth in little gasps. 
"Let's do it when we get back to the city," Satoru murmurs, brushing his lips over yours. "I think they know anyway." Oh, you're sure they know. You're both too obvious but you didn't want to push your boyfriend when he told you he wasn't ready to admit in front of everyone to officially having a partner. "But I don't like having to hold your hand on the sly or sneak out of meetings so I can kiss you and God, I'm just addicted to that watermelon gloss you use."
You laugh giving him fleeting little kisses, taking advantage of the position to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. 
"Just admit you're addicted to me, Satoru." 
"Maybe I am..." He says in that tone that indicates danger. That voice that tells you you're not going back to the group you had run away from. 
Satoru squeezes your waist possessively, his fingers trace on your sun-toasted skin and you moan between his half-opened lips the moment he asks for your tongue silently, his nose stumbling against yours. 
"We should get back..." you say in a whisper, remembering this fact more to yourself than to him.  
"We can disappear for ten minutes..." Pause. His lips move to your collarbone and his warm breath tickles you. "Fifteen minutes..." Pause. Small bites along your jaw take him to your neck. "Twenty..." His tongue dances over your salty skin, gently licking what he can reach and has to physically force himself not to suck. 
"It's never ten minutes..." you say between a choked moan, tugging at his strands sweetly until he's looking at you again. Dark sunglasses hide his eyes from you but his mouth is at your disposal, half open, red and appetizing and the tiny freckles that bathe his nose make your stomach knot. 
He grunts, as if battling with himself to understand that you are right. Satoru brings his face to the line of your neck and sighs heavily, leaving one last kiss to pull away from you against his will. 
"Let's go back then," he says resignedly. And he had never wanted the weekend to pass as quickly as he wanted it to now, being the impatient person he is, he didn't want to wait to have your hand entwined with his and fill his chest with raw pride where he could finally admit in front of everyone that you were his.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 7 months ago
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sparkling juice
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words: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ only!!!, p in v sex, unprotected sex, virgin!reader, dubcon, drugging/tricking reader into drinking, established relationship, innocent/shy!reader (at least at first wink wink), kinda dark!rafe but really he just wants to bang reader reaaaaal bad
“this is so sweet, rafey.” you coo, your hand held firmly in his.
“anything for you baby.” rafe pulls you along the path, further out into the meadow until you get to a shaded area under a tall tree.
“here is perfect.” rafe says, setting the picnic basket down and draping the large blanket he brought with him.
“thank you.” you tell rafe, pulling him in for a sweet kiss before sitting down.
“i brought all your favorites.” rafe says, taking a spot next to you and opening up the picnic basket.
you let out a little squeak in excitement and seeing all your favorite foods before your brows scrunch together as you point at a bottle. “what's that?”
“that's um… sparkling juice. that's all, baby.” of course, rafe knows that's not all it is, but you don't need to know that yet.
rafe pulls out some food for you to snack on, not hungry himself, happy to watch you nibble on crackers and bite into juicy strawberries.
“wanna try some juice with me baby?”
“mhm, of course rafey.” you watch his large hands as he fills two plastic cups, handing one to you. “drink slow.”
you nod in response before taking a sip, pulling away and sputtering. “ew!”
“oh, baby.” rafe pouts. “do you not like it? im so sorry i thought you would.”
“let me… let me try to drink it again. i think im just not used to the carbonation.” you take another sip, able to control your reaction better. “it's not bad!” rafe can tell you're lying, but he lets out a fake sigh of relief and smiles at you.
“so glad, baby. we can keep drinking while we talk, yeah? tell me about your day.”
rafe knows the easiest way to get you distracted is to have you talk, and so as you describe your day, which leads into your plans for next week, which leads into how much you love rafe, you keep taking sips as rafe refills just your cup.
“i… my head feels kinda fuzzy.” you frown, setting the drink down, realizing your fingers are also slightly numb.
“uh oh.” rafe pouts, drawing his thumb over your cheek. “maybe it's the heat. why don't you lay down?”
“yeah.” you nod, laying back onto the blanket, surprised how plush it is from the soft long grass underneath it. “im-” you let out a sudden giggle. “im like really in love with you, rafey.”
“im really in love with you too, kiddo.” rafe adjusts himself to lay next to you, propped up on his side to keep an eye on your reaction as the alcohol you didn't know you were drinking slowly takes effect. “that's why i planned out this whole picnic for you. and brought you special juice.”
“was there-” you hiccup, words slurring slightly. “anything special in the special juice?”
“hm.” rafe sits up, picking up the now half empty bottle. his eyes widen in fake shock as he reads the label. “oh no baby! i must have grabbed the wrong bottle! i meant to get us sparkling juice but i got us sparkling wine!”
“im… im drunk?” you put together what rafes words mean, mind working slowly.
“im so sorry.” rafe moves to hover over you, cupping your cheek. “will you forgive me?”
“course.” you nod quickly. “was an accident.”
“you're so sweet baby.” rafe brings his lips down on top of yours, kissing you wildly, mouths and tongues a passionate mess.
“should we go get some water to help… get rid of this feeling?” you ask rafe as he shifts to kissing your jaw.
“that's so smart, baby, but i can't drive us home drunk, and you don't have your license.” 
you knew how to drive well enough, but in your 20 years of life, never felt the need to actually get your license. your parents drove you around as a kid until you started dating rafe a year ago, and then he drove you around everywhere.
“oh, right.” you nod, letting out a small gasp as rafes kisses move lower, exploring your neck. this is where you usually stop him, pull his head back up to kiss your lips and remind him you want to wait. not necessarily until marriage, but a bit longer, until the time is right.
“we should do something to pass the time, baby. until the alcohol is out of our system.”
“doesn't eating help?” you try to remember what you heard your friends talk about, since you're not a drinker yourself. “we could share the rest of the crackers.”
“i was thinking… we could finally make love.” rafe suggests, pulling back to look in your eyes, watching the way your brain is fighting against the alcohol in your system.
“well, you did take me on this nice picnic…”
“mhm.”
“and we have been dating for over a year now.”
“yes.”
“so… i suppose we could.” you shove down any doubting voices in your head, letting the looseness of your inhibitions guide your actions as you lean forward to kiss rafe again.
“thank you baby.” rafe repeats his words between kisses, his weight shifting to his elbow as his other hand holds your waist, before moving up until it's cupping your breast.
“oh!” you gasp, surprised by how good it feels. rafe smiles, tugging at your dress until the material is below your bra, pushing your breasts up.
“what if someone sees?!” you hiss out. it's not likely someone would come by, but rafe doesn't want to ruin his chance to finally have you.
“okay.” he pulls your dress back up, settling for touching you over the material as he distracts you with soft kisses once again. “ill just push your dress up. that way if anyone comes by you can easily cover yourself up.”
“mhm.” you nod, eyes sliding shut, head fuzzy from the alcohol and now from the pleasure building in your system.
rafe reaches down to pull his cock out of his pants, leaving himself mostly covered as well. he begins to slowly stroke himself, already halfway hard just from the excitement.
“oh!” rafe hadn't even realize your eyes had opened up until your outburst.
“it's okay, baby.” rafe says. he's well aware this is your first time seeing his cock as he waits for you to form a reaction.
“i… i want to feel.” you reach down, cautious hand, still numb at the fingertips as you stroke over rafes length, eyes widening when you realize how hard it truly feels..
“can you… can you not look?” you ask shyly, hand still slowly moving as you speak. “at me.”
“baby, you know i find you beautiful. all of you… but if that's what you want, okay.” 
“just… look away for a minute.” you wait for rafes gaze to turn to the meadow, watching the flowers sway in the breeze as he hears you shuffling around on the blanket to take your underwear off.
“okay.” you say.
rafe looks back to you, smile growing as he realizes you're laid back down once again, dress pushed up to your thighs, just enough to hide your privates.
“ill be nice and slow, okay? and you tell me if anything hurts.” rafe moves over you, waiting for you to nod before reaching down with one hand to grab his cock. he keeps your skirt as far down as he can while tucking his dick between your thighs. he moves until he bumps skin, letting out a breath when he realizes you are wet.
he rubs his cock through your folds, watching the way your face twists in pleasure, brows pulling together and mouth dropping open.
you let out a moan when rafe hits what he assumes is your clit. he focuses the head of his cock on it for a moment before sinking lower to your entrance.
rafe manages to keep his word, pushing in slowly. he may have been buttering you up for an entire year just to get in your pants, but now he wants more than just once, you're well and truly his, and he plans on exploring with you until you're transformed from innocent girlfriend into personal slut.
“oh! oh, rafe!” your hands move to grip his shoulders. “that… that feels really good!”
“doesn't hurt at all?” rafe can tell he's stretching you somewhat, but clearly by your rapid shaking of your head no, you're not feeling any pain.
“gonna f-make love to you now then.” he swings his hips back before pushing forward, and soon your moans are filling the meadow, being carried away by the wind as he thrusts into you.
“so, so good, rafey.” you cry out, back arching off the picnic blanket. rafe smiles. your first time, and you're already behaving like this. he's going to turn you into a whore sooner than he thought.
“fu-fudge!” you shout out, making rafe chuckle softly as you use your curse word substitute just like you prefer doing.
“you feel so good round me, baby.” rafe says, bending down to kiss your neck. “love the way you're squeezing me.”
“harder.” you whine out. rafes eyebrows raise, but he doesn't question your demand, pushing his hips faster, slamming into you more. your dress pushed up from all the motion to reveal rafes cock burying itself inside your pussy.
he lets out a moan as you grip onto the blanket, not caring about him being able to see you as you feel a high building inside of you.
“i think im close.” you say.
“cum for me baby. ill cum with you.” rafe says, bringing a hand down to your clit, your moans doubling as he rubs over it with his thumb.
your high hits you suddenly. it takes a perfect thrust from rafe a long with his thumb flicking over your clit and your wall breaks with a scream, hips rising off the checkered fabric as you cum, pussy clenching around rafe as he spills inside of you with a moan of his own.
you both collapse in a heap, faces flushed and chests rising and falling rapidly.
rafe pulls out of you carefully before flopping onto his back.
“that was really good, rafey.” you cuddle into his side, resting your head on his chest.
“thank you for trusting me enough to do that with me, baby.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
“of course.” your eyes are on rafes cock, still halfway hard despite just cumming. you reach down, ghosting your fingers along his length before swirling your fingertip over the head then against his slit as rafes hips twitch from the overstimulation.
“do you think we can do that again? and then maybe when we get home? after you're good to drive, of course.” you look up at rafe with what he thought were big, innocent eyes, but he's quickly realizing you've got a different side just below the surface.
-- six months later --
“ugh, rafe!” you groan as he presses buttons on the controller, eyes firmly on the screen. 
“promise baby, will be done in five minutes.” he says, barely glancing to you.
you're tired of being ignored as you pull off the only clothing you are wearing, a big t-shirt of rafes to cover yourself. rafe glances over, realizing you're now completely nude as his fingers freeze.
“i want to fuck. if you're not gonna help me, im gonna go help myself.” you shrug.
rafe tosses the controller onto the floor, a proud smile on his face. you've become just who he's always wanted you to be. “of course im gonna help you baby, come get on this dick.”
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wildernessuntothemselves · 3 months ago
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Every time I think I am free of the hybrid brain rot he pulls me in again 😭
Warnings: fem!reader, dog hybrid!gyu, cat hybrid!reader mean dom!reader, desperate horny gyu, ?unrequited love, dry humping, somnophilia, handjob, cumming in pants
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Kitty!you (ofc) lives with rambunctious but very fluffy big dog hybrid gyu who you try to avoid most of the time because he just doesn’t seem to get how big he is, still thinking he is a lapdog and ends up smothering you everytime he tries to cuddle or groom you. He is always hurt when you reject him and his trembling wet eyes give you pause but not enough to let him come near you
Until your poor owner runs into financial trouble and can't afford to keep the heating on as much as usual and you find yourself regularly getting too cold to sleep. Beomgyu seems mostly unaffected. In fact he seems to like the cold, his large normally overheated body welcoming the change as usually your owner will have the heat cranked up very high just for your sake, leaving poor gyu forced to splay out on the floor, limbs spread in all directions and touching the cool ceramic floor (the only cool surface in the house) with his tongue lolling out as he pants the heat away
You always turned up your nose at him, feeling like it's inappropriate for him to lay out like that, shirtless and with his privates barely covered by his thin shorts but when you had complained to your owner, they sweetly but firmly reminded you that he's only like that because the heat has been turned up for you and that if you want to keep your eyes from being assaulted by the sight, you can always put the heat down.
Of course you didn't. Instead you scoffed and muttered something mean about the digusting view, hurting the big pup even more but you didn't care.
Well now the tables have turned, and you're left freezing even under all your blankets while he is happily sleeping in his bed with just a thin sheet covering him up. Bastard. You can practically feel the heat radiating off him and you yearn for it so badly you might actually make yourself suffer through the inconvenience of being near him just to get to it
You try to hold off as much as you can but between your shattering teeth and numb hands and feet, you can't help yourself. You stalk towards his bed with your blankets, not bothering to ask his permission before you curl up into his side and cover your bodies with the blankets.
"Huh?" Beomgyu wakes up confused, a bit of drool seeping at the corner of his mouth from deep sleep. Ugh.
"I'm cold. You're warm." Is all the explanation you give him and beomgyu does not ask for more. He doesn't want to mess this up, just happy you're finally accepting his touch even if begrudgingly.
You groan as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tighter against him, burying his face in your neck to take a big whiff before letting out a satisfied sigh.
"It's okay. I'll keep you warm, kitty." You ignore the way his deep, husky voice right against your ear and the way his large hands wrapped around your frame makes you feel. This all doesn't mean anything. You're just cold and he is basically a free heater.
You try to ignore the noises he makes in his sleep--his little whimpers, his garbled moans, even the little urgent whispers of what sounds an awful lot like your name.
You ignore the feeling of something hard pressing against you at night, you even ignore the sometimes small, sometimes harsh rocking motions of his hips against you as he cried and whines about something in his dreams, pathetic voice calling out for someone to "please, please, i'll be good"
You ignore the way that makes your body tingle and your underwear get sticky. This is all just to keep warm.
But what you can't ignore is the startled way he wakes up almost every night and rushes to the toilet, spending 15 to 30 minutes at a time in there and leaving you to freeze again. No, this simply won't do. This defeats the whole purpose of your new sleeping arrangement. What good is it to get all warmed up in his embrace, wrapped in his large arms, feeling his heated breath panted against your neck, if he will rip it away from you and leave you for the cruel elements to ravage and reclaim your body in the middle of the night?
So when he starts crying in his sleep again and his hips begin to rut against you, you move your hand between your bodies to take a hold of his hard member that has been poking you for countless nights.
It takes a few seconds of coaxing before he realizes what's going on, a few seconds of his moans almost reaching a fever pitch at the sudden unexpected stimulation, before he wakes up with a gasp, his already big eyes massive with shock at finding you with your hand down his pants and jerking him off.
"Kitty, w-what--" you cut off his slurring words with a twist of your wrist that leaves him keening.
"You think you're so slick? You think I can't feel you humping my ass every night? You think I don't know that you run to the bathroom to jerk this stupid cock off so i don't wake up covered in your dirty cum?"
"I'm sorry. Can't help it. You smell so good." He cries out pathetically, his hips moving to meet your tight fist as you jerk him off. "Please don't be mad at me. Please don't stop sleeping with me. I can be good, I promise. I'll do better. I think I'm going into heat. I'll tell master to take me to a heat center so I can get it out of my system and be a good dog again. I promise I am not a perv. I know this is bad. I know I shouldn't do this. I'm sorry--"
"God, do you ever shut the fuck up." You growl, bringing his face to your and kissing him roughly, and despite all his emphatic proclamations, he immediately opens his mouth and lets you push your tongue in, moaning and sucking on it like the perv he claims he is not. He chases after your lips over and over again, all while his hips never stop fucking your fist, until you push his face away to catch your breath, strings of saliva joining you wet lips.
"You wanna go to heat center and fuck a pretty little bitch? You think any bitch would let a sick mutt like you who lusts after kitties near any of their holes? That's disgusting." You don't know why you’re so mean to him but you know that the thought of him breeding a random bitch at a pay to fuck facility makes your blood boil.
"I'm sorry. I know I'm bad. Just don't want you to be mad at me." He cries, real tears dripping down his long lashes. "I'll do whatever you want. I'll use my heat toys every night before we sleep so I can get it out of my system and be good for you. Would that be better? Please?"
"No need." You tell him, acting nonchalant but burning inside at his desperate need to please you, thriving off of it. Fuck this is so wrong but it feels so good and you can't stop. "I'll deal with your problem myself. You can't help it that you're a sick little mutt. I'll take care of you but you have to keep this between us. Master can't know or he'll take me away from you to protect me."
He whimpers at the last part and shakes his head, fucking desperately into your hand as if it will be taken away any second. "I won't. Just between us. I'm not a bad dog, not dangerous, just... just..."
He trails off in a whine, looking at you in frustration, his eyes trying to convey something to you that you're not sure you want to know so you pretend you don't see it.
"Just needy. Right?" You tell him sharply and he gasps, nodding, his fluffy puppy ears pressed down to his skull anxiously. "Yes. So needy."
"I know. Let me take care of you. Let go for kitty. I know you want to. I can feel you drenching my hand like a bitch in heat." You chuckle, rubbing your thumb quickly over his leaking head, making his breathing pause and shudder. "Well, i suppose you are. So come on, cum for me, my little bitch. But keep it down, we can't let master see you like this."
"Yes. Yes, pretty. Anything for you." He whines, and you ignore most of it, just focusing on the way he bites down on his lip so hard it breaks the skin just so he can keep his slutty cries at bay as he cums, shooting long ropes of warm cum into your hand and his pants, soaking both in his release that goes on and on until all that is left of his is a slumped, sweaty, drooling mess in your arms.
"Fuck, what a mess." You scrunch your nose, bringing you hand up to show him just some of his milky cum covering your hand.
"I'm sorry." He slurs, barely conscious. "I'll clean up."
He tries to get up but you hold him down firmly. You're not going to let go of your free heater after all you've just done to stay warm.
"Just clean up in the morning." You tell him, wiping your dirty hand on his pants.
"But I'm all sticky and gross."
"Good. I want you to sleep in your cum so you remember how nice I am to a disgusting perv like you."
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collecting-dustbunnies · 4 months ago
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The longer I play Obey Me, the more I feel like Obey Me is a story about how the MC, in their quest to seek acceptance by the people they care about, ends up destroying themselves in the process and losing the very thing that made them so special and loved in the first place.
In the beginning of OG, they started off as just a normal human who got whisked away to a weird ass world where literally nobody respects them. Despite this, they recognised from the beginning that these demons and angels were not so different from humans. MC's ability to see the demons as actual people and not just beings controlled by their sins was what allowed them to form close bonds with them. They had good intentions to reunite the demon brothers who had undergone centuries of misunderstanding, resentment, and pent up grief. Even though they were excessively nosy, MC's unique position as a complete outsider allowed them to see just how much love the demon brothers had for each other, and how they can become closer if everybody would just better communicate with each other. Serving as the bridge to better improve the brothers' relationships was what convinced the demon brothers to also see MC as a member of their family.
But as the MC became more involved in the Devildom's problems, they started to adopt the same toxic traits that had created wedges between the brothers in the first place. From relying heavily on their pacts to subdue the brothers, to allowing a curse to control Barbatos (even though they had the ability to break it), to going along with the brothers' manipulative scheme to trick Satan into reconciling with Lucifer when Satan ran away to the human world -- it's almost like MC has unconsciously picked up on some of their loved ones' behaviour. Gone are the days where MC brings in a new perspective to problems. Now, they just embrace the chaos and their more darker traits, for that is what is expected of them to survive in the Devildom. And since everyone within their circle puts them on a pedestal, this further affirms to the MC that this is how they should be.
Dealing with the affairs of the Devildom had also caused the MC to grow more apathetic. In the beginning, they had been actively taking steps to form pacts with the brothers and were generally very invested in freeing Belphie from the attic. They remained true to themselves and insisted that they form a pact with Satan based on mutual trust and understanding, and not just as a means to smite Lucifer. Despite being in a helpless situation, MC never refused to give up their agency. But the longer MC gets involved with these shenanigans, the more they grew... numb to everything.
Solomon bringing me back to the Devildom unannounced? Oh, sure. Diavolo and Solomon hiding the reasons for my sudden return? Not my problem.
Simeon facing a problem to the point of having a quarter of the cast acting as his bodyguards? Eh, I'll just ignore it until I can't anymore.
Watching and waiting. That's what they have resorted to doing.
And that mindset of kicking problems down the line until it lands on MC's doorstep and they have no choice but to act -- that's exactly how they have been acting when they were stuck in NB, hasn't it? MC didn't bother forming pacts with the past version of the brothers until they were given an ultimatum, and even then, they simply relied on the convenient timing of each brother struggling with an inner crisis to swoop in, resolve the situation and tick them off their checklist.
MC in NB seems like an unfortunate culmination of everything they faced so far. They're too apathetic to care about getting sent to an unfamiliar place once again, too desensitised to life in the Devildom to reclaim their agency, and too desperate to earn the love of their former family to even think about anything else. They became so co-dependent to the demon brothers that they seem to think they cannot live without them or their affection, even if the ones they are living with in the past are different people from the ones they grew to love in the present.
The phrase "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" fits way too perfectly for the Obey Me MC. After all, MC keeps getting rewarded every time they try to get themselves killed (or even when they actually got killed). Maybe that's the only way they know how to resolve problems.
So if they can't die as the hero, they'll just learn to live as the villain.
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chiscaralight · 26 days ago
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Can we have a bunny!hybrid reader with ratio smut please pretty please with a cherry on top 🙏
Where it’s the first time he’s been with a hybrid and he wants to explore your body and which parts are sensitive for “research” ;) I have an unhealthy obsession with your fics and ratio
LIVE LOVE LAUGH chiscaralight
i too, am obsessed w mr ratio…
dr ratio x reader nsfw . bondage. might not be exactly what u asked but!
“veritas, is this really necessary?”
“you were moving around too much, it’s getting in the way of my tests.”
and you writhe against the intricately wound ropes, whimpering as they feel like they’re tightening against you. he’s been prodding and poking at your body, under the guise of studying your body. you've told him time and time again, it's the same as anyone else's, just adorned with ears and a cute cotton tail, but it's not enough for him.
it's a simple set of experiments this time, he's just looking for certain areas, erogenous zones across your body. well, it’s simple for him, much less for you. you’ve endured countless minutes of him brushing his fingers and occasionally even his tongue against different parts of you, getting nothing more of it than a hum and him shifting to his scattered pieces of paper to write something down before shifting back his attention to you.
this whole thing is a pain. coupled with your inherited sex drive of a rabbit plus the way he’s feeling you up, it was almost set in stone that that wet spot on your panties would grow, dampening your entrance as you continue to attempt to brush your thighs together for some, any type of relief.
of course ratio notices, there’s no need for him to go on, but he does anyways. as well as testing your body, he’s testing your resolve. how much you think you can hold back, counting the seconds until you crack and your weak voice mumbles out his name.
which honestly isn’t very long, because you’re practically moaning out his name once his rough fingers come in contact with the base of your cute ears. he thinks it’s interesting, more interesting than it should be, because his cock is jumping in his pants at the lewd noises you’re letting out. he’s softly scratching at your fuzzy ears, and each scrape of his short nails has you wriggling against the restraints, whining about how good it feels. he’s not even touching anything else and you’re already so worked up, what if he tries a different approach to this ‘test’?
your lips are wrapped firmly around his cock, bobbing your head so easily as you moan hard around him. his short nails are still brushing at your ears, and you can only shift in your spot, your body still held back by the ropes he insisted on keeping you in. ratio's eyes are trained on your every reaction, trying to keep a clear mind. but you're just doing so well, he's almost forgetting you're supposed to be running a test! you don't seem to find though, because your tongue is dancing expertly on the underside of his cock, rolling with ease around his length as you keep up a sickly sweet pace. but it's much too early to cum, and he has one more experiment he wants to try.
face pressed hard into the sheets, ratio wastes no time in fucking into you hard, his large hands are keeping your hips in place, snapping up and into yours at such an alarming rate you can barely keep up. it's like nothing you've ever felt before, your mind is numb from the pleasure and you're moaning into the sheets. but it's when his hand finds your cute little cotton tail, softly tugging on it that your head flies up.
now, you're a mess, back arching hard as you try to reach back and grab his arm, but to no avail. his grip on the soft fur is just tight enough that it's way too much for you, and you're sobbing at the sheer amount of pleasure coursing through your veins. your eyes are crossing hard, and you're feeling lightheaded with the way you're orgasm is rushing into you like a waterfall. you can't even warn him first! but the way you start to shake under him and your essence that's shooting against his pelvis is just as good a warning as any other. you're not even sure when he cums, but he keeps going, helping you to ride out those last few waves of pleasure as your body starts to come down. you're weak and fucked out, fully ready to give yourself away to the spirit of sleep after such an intense orgasm. but the test results are in, and ratio can finally free you now. he's found his favorite one.
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thehusbandoden · 5 months ago
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He Doesn't Realize How Much he Needs You Until You're Gone Part One- Dabi
A/n: 100th writing I've posted :3
I hope you like it haha.
General info:
Genre: pure angst \\ wc: 2,425 \\ female reader \\ posted: 06/06/24
Warnings!: arguing, neglect, pure angst, crying, yelling, screaming, hurt, feeling betrayed, injuries (reader gets burned- not by Dabi), pushing your partner away (both parties), feeling worthless, feelings being discarded, mention of therapy, thoughts of leaving, thoughts of death, fear of a loved one dying, numbing your emotions, Dabi raging (burning things), leaving, partner being very tsundere, mention of blood (Dabi's tears), regret, guilt, becoming a husk, I think that's all haha. Pls lmk if I miss anything! <33
I will post two endings, one with angst and one with fluff. Lmk if you want to be tagged!
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Tears roll down your cheeks as you spam Dabi with texts. You had just gotten into an argument with your beloved when he stormed out, cursing you out.
"Please." You quietly plead, your voice broken with sobs. "Don't leave me."
All of your texts remain unread. All your calls declined. You were having a panic attack by now, yet nothing seemed to get the villain's attention.
Just as you're about to completely lose it, you hear footsteps. Your freeze, listening with an indescribable intensity. The window opens. Your eyes dart to the activity.
Familiar black combat boots peek through the gap, falling to the floor. Your eyes travel up the familiar torn jeans, the worn out t-shirt, the burned neck, the crooked frown, and finally to the comforting turquoise eyes.
You let out a sob of relief as you see your Dabi standing in front of you. He looks down at you, grimacing.
"What happened to you?" He scoffed.
"I-I was worried." Your voice was hoarse and broken from your sobs.
"Worried?" He grunts. "You're more idiotic than I thought." He groans, grabbing the sandwich you made before the argument.
"I-I thought you were leaving me."
"I'm not gonna leave ya. No matter how annoying you are." He scoffs.
Annoying....
Your mind repeats the word several times, your face stiffening as you numb your emotions.
"Sorry..." you mumble.
"Don't start that pouty crap." He scoffs, shooting you a glare. "I'm tired of you being such a bother. I have so much to deal with. Your pathetic emotions isn't on my list."
You quietly fold your arms, moving to the couch. You watch Dabi silently, taking deep breaths to contain your emotions.
"I'm leaving for a mission tonight. I'll be back before next week."
His voice was less harsh, but nowhere near as warm as usual.
"O-okay.." you mumble, fidgeting with your sleeves. He rolls his eyes with a scoff, stomping into your shared bedroom.
~~
"I'm leaving now, brat."
You scramble to your feet, swiftly moving to his side. You lean up, hoping for a kiss as you ever so slightly pucker your lips.
You know your husband. He will notice... won't he?
His cold eyes move down to your lips. He grunts, turning around and leaving. "See ya later, brat. Don't be pouting when I get home, you hear?" He mutters, hauling himself through the window.
He always came in and out through the back window... it would be bad if your neighbors caught a highly wanted villain in your apartment.. hence the sneaking.
You've lived together for over a year now, you've moved four times now.
"Wait-" you call out, reaching out to your husband. His cold gaze burns into you.
"Um- a-aren't you going to... going to.."
"Spit it out, woman."
"Aren't you going to.. kiss me?" You blush. Dabi scoffs.
"Don't expect needles privileges after your attitude yesterday."
"Attitude?! Do you mean our argument?" You protest.
"Here it goes again." He groans. "You're always complaining and refusing to take accountability."
"Thats nonsense." You clench your fists, trying to suppress your emotions. Tears burned your eyes, but you refused to let them shed.
"What's nonsense is your attitude. You can't even keep me around now can ya? Your attitude always drives me off! I wonder why I ever married you in the first place. You give me attitude and then act like I'm the victim. Pathetic."
Tears well in your eyes. You bite your lip. "I won't ask for anymore from you." You whisper.
"Good. Keep it that way." He lands outside, shrugging his shoulder before walking off with an nonchalant attitude.
You close the window, leaning against the wall as you try to slow down your breathing. Tears fall down your cheeks as you curl in a ball, feeling hurt, angry, betrayed, and worthless.
The days pass by as you wait for Dabi to return. You didn't hear from him, and he was gone far longer than he said he would be. Every text was left unread, every call ignored, every voice-mail left un-listened to.
Eventually, you stopped trying. You got a therapist, and ended up deciding on what was best for you. When he comes home, if he doesn't treat you better, if he doesn't even listen or try to change, its better for you to leave. Even if it was just for a little bit.
Days turn into weeks, and weeks blur into months. Many nights you lay awake, doubting yourself. Doubting your worth.
It killed you inside. Your self esteem plummeted. You stopped going to therapy. All you wanted was your husband. Your husband's love, his validation, his touch, his mere presence.
Curled in a ball, you stared at the wall with a blank expression. Horrid scenarios went through your head as you imagine your poor husband alone, injured, and dying.
Tears blur your vision as you imagine him already dead, his loving soul leaving this world without even telling you goodbye. You hadn't even gotten a kiss. Or an I love you.
The tears don't stop. And they didn't as the hours slowly pass by. You felt like ripping your hair out, screaming, hitting, throwing things- anything to get your mind off of your husband's doomed death.
The window opens. Your eyes dart towards the unlocked glass pane. Combat boots pokes through. You gasp in relief.
A worn, exhausted, injured, and in pain figure follows the boots. Revealing your beloved, Dabi. You let out a small sob, launching yourself at him.
You close your eyes in relief as you feel his warm chest, the familiar staples bringing you comfort. As you move to open your eyes you feel a hand to your shoulder, your backside hitting the floor.
You look up in shock, Dabi looking down at you in disgust.
"I thought you said you wouldn't ask anymore from me." He scoffed. You grab your arm, holding it to your chest.
"I-" you start.
"I really don't want to hear it. Just let me rest." He groans. You slowly lift yourself off of the floor, silently moving into your shared bedroom.
You curl in a ball, hiding under the sheets. You hear him walking around outside of the room, silently listening. Tears blur your vision once more. You cover your mouth, tightly closing your eyes.
You shake with sobs, doing your very best to stay quiet. You can't help but feel worthless. Tears stream down your cheeks as you listen to your husband's familiar footsteps, glad he's safe at the minimum...
Hours pass by as you cry yourself to sleep, your stray tears staining your cheeks.
~~
Dabi's POV
Dabi strolls into your shared bedroom. "Oi, make me a sandwich will ya?" He grunts. Yiu don't move, irritating him.
He moves to your side, snatching the blanket. "I said-" he stops as he sees you asleep, tears stained on your cheeks. A strange pain dtabs at his chest. Shaking it off, he drops the blanket.
Staring at you, he gently cups your cheek, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. He pulls away, caressing your cheek. "I've missed you. Even though you're a pain." He whispers before pulling away.
~~
Your POV
The next morning
You blink open your eyes, rubbing at the lingering sleepiness. Yawning, your eyes lazily run over the room. The curtains were hiding the small bedroom from sunlight, the entire room encompassed in darkness.
Sitting up, you rub your puffy eyes once more. Dabi was no where near sight. Sighing, you absent-mindedly trace the bruise on your arm where you fell.
Your heart aches as you remember your therapist's words. This isn't healthy. It needs to stop...
The door opens, revealing Dabi. "Finally awake, sleepy head?" His voice wasn't the cold growl like last night, but it was no where near gentle.
You nod, timidly. Afraid of upsetting him once more.
"I'm starving. Want to make breakfas..?" This was his way of asking you to. If you agreed, there would be no thank you, for you "wanted" to.
If you said no, he would be irritated for a while. He won't cook, no matter how many times you beg him to while you're away, so he will oftenly go without eating if you're unavailable or refuse to cook.
Biting your lip, you nod. He gives you a short grimace, something similar to a small smile before walking out. Standing up, you yawn, stretching your arms. Your eyes ache from all the crying, but you push that to the back of your mind.
You walk out to the kitchen, beginning to cook. You feel Dabi's eyes on you, but you don't pay much attention. You were guarded, unsure why he's acting so differently this morning. Cautious of unleashing the monster once more.
"Dabi?" You murmur. He grunts in response.
"I talked to a therapist when you were on your mission..."
"A therapist? What for? Did you leak my identity?!" He snaps.
"No, I didn't. I was really struggling for a while and needed someone to help me."
"So you relied on a stranger?!"
"You wouldn't answer. I called, texted, I left voice-mails."
"Oh so you think that your crappy attempt to get my attention justifies getting help from a stranger!? Was he a guy?! Were you sleeping with him?!"
"What?! No! I would never!"
"Then what were you doing with them?!"
"I was getting help for my mental state, Dabi!"
"Oh poor baby, you think being lonely justifies that?!"
"You're being unreasonable. Dabi she told me it was best for me to leave you if you keep treating me like this. I'm telling you this so you can wake up and change. This isn't okay." You snap, taking a deep breath to calm yourself.
"Leave me?!" He laughs. "You wouldn't. You can't live without me."
"You've been making me live without you for months, Dabi. You don't tell me you love me, you don't show me affection, I'm lucky just to have you not yell at me!"
"You're being dramatic." He spits. "You're a spoiled brat. I've been working my arse off for you and you're this ungrateful."
"You've been working for revenge! It's not for me, it never was! I have my own job that pays for all or our bills Dabi!"
"You're listening to a stranger's advice and plan on leaving me?!"
"Only if you don't change Dabi!"
"You knew what you were getting into when you married me, y/n. Stop playing the victim."
"You didn't treat me like this when we first married."
"Keep telling yourself that." He spits, putting his jacket on.
"Where are you going?!" You cry, the food far from recovery, you hazardously shove the pan into the sink, burning your hand. You cry out in pain.
"Y/n!" Dabi yells, hurrying your side. He aggressively graps your hand, making you cry out once more. "Idiot! Why did you hurt yourself like that?!"
"Just leave me alone!" You try to yank your hand away but Dabi yanks it back.
"Stay still!"
"Let me go Dabi!"
"Y/n just sit still!!"
You push him back, protectively pressing your injured hand to your chest. "I said to let me go!"
Dabi's face scrunches up as he looks down at you. After a few silent moments he turns away. "I'm over you and your dramatic act." He mumbled.
Walking to the door, he pulls his combat boots on. "Don't leave!" You cry, coddling your burning hand.
He ignores you, moving to the window. "Dabi! If you leave without us finishing this I'm leaving."
"Go for it. I don't need you. I never did." He sneered.
Your heart throbbed as your beloved husband jumped through the open window, not looking back. Falling to your knees you break into sobs.
You cry over the absence of your beloved, you cry over the pain, and you cry over the dreaded feeling of being completely alone.
You don't stop for hours. It goes on and on until your completely out of tears, numb to the feeling of utter loss. Your hand aches. Your eyes aches. Your heart aches.
It all just- hurts.
You slowly drift to sleep, the cold kitchen floor being the only thing that grounds you from the pain of betrayal.
~~
Dabi's POV
Three days later.
Dropping from the window Dabi nonchalantly glances around the room. It seemed unusually cold an empty. Paying it no mind, Dabi hazardly tossed his jacket and boots towards the front door.
"Y/n, I'm home." He calls, running his hands through his greasy hair, his roots were growing out. Rolling his eyes, he opens the fridge. It was... empty.
"Y/n!" He calls once more, huffing in annoyance. "I get home and can't even eat?!"
No response. "For Pete's sake you petty brat! Get out here!"
Silence.
Anger fills his being before he remembers your words before he left. A strange pain shoots through him, his eyes widen as he runs into your shared bedroom. Everything of yours was... gone.
His heart quickens as he searches the entire house for you. Nothing. Not even a trace. His breathing quickens as he pulls at his hair. Taking a shuddering breathe, he shakes his head.
"You'll regret this y/n... you'll be back and I'll laugh in your face!" He chuckles, losing a bit of his sanity. "I DON'T NEED YOU! YOU'LL SEE!" He screams, activating his quirk as he knocks over a chair. He let's out a scream, lighting anything and everything in sight on fire.
Months pass by. Dabi has turned into a shell, simply surviving. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work... a "good" day is when he remembers to eat or drink. A shower or change of clothes is out of mind.
Walking through the streets, he walks inside the charred apartment. Stepping inside, he closes the door. He doesn't care about his identity anymore, or anything really.
His turquoise eyes scan the apartment, his eyes landing on a photo of you and him. His heart strangely aches once more. "Y/n..." he murmured, his fists clenching.
Falling to his knees, he lets out a broken sob. His eyes burn, tears would be running if they could. Blood drips from his charred tear ducts. He falls to the floor face first, nothing but his beloved wife on his mind.
How could he be so stupid?! How could he be so utterly retarted?! He lost the one thing in this world that actually loved him. Grasping his phone, he dials your number.
Please. Please pick up... please... I need you...
~~~~~
Part two (coming soon) | alt. ending (coming soon) lmk if you want to be tagged!! <33
Dabi's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | Tips<3
Reblogs make me smile (bonus points if you tag) and comments make my day!!
~~~~~
Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way, minus reblogging. 
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sssssecret · 5 months ago
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While I'm doing the omo dungeon, I want to talk about a fantasy I've been having recently.
My dom is a bartender in a pretty popular bar, and I would be the sub and the bar urinal. I would have a funnel in my mouth and a catheter in my bladder with a funnel. A patron would come in and piss in funnel leading to my bladder. I would also have people pissing in my ass and pussy, with plugs in both so it can't get out. My dom would come in and I'd beg to go to the bathroom and empty myself. I would be begging so hard, I wouldn't even realize I was saying "please let me flush, your toilet is so full". He would tut and smack my bladder, saying that I need to be better at holding.
He would stick a ridged metal sound in my urethra and say if I push it all the way out, I'll be allowed to piss, but I can't stop for longer than 5 seconds, and if I did, he'd push it back in. He made it this way, knowing I would lose. I start pushing it out, piss coming out around it. I'd keep trying, but I'd pause to take a break, and it lasted longer than 5 seconds, making him push it back in. This would continue for awhile before he rips it out and I piss everywhere. He sighs, and says "We have to train your piss hole so that it can leak whenever I want it to, and be wide enough to fit a cock so I don't have to have ugly funnels. Patrons should be able to stick their cocks in your bladder and relieve themselves." My dom would then grab a thick catheter and plug it up inside me.
When I would be forced back out, there would be a small sign on it that says "Hole closed for maintenance" and my mouth open wide with a o-ring. A patron would walk in and sigh, disappointedly at that sign and stick their cock all the way into the back of my throat and piss, so far back I can't even taste it. I would be sitting there for days, my dom opening my pisshole up more and more until it's gaping. There would be a ring on my inner bladder that would make it so that I can't voluntarily piss without him activating an app on his phone. Even then, I would only be able to piss at most, 10 seconds at a time, not even enough to dent the big bulge inside me. I would beg and beg to be flushed, and he'd just sigh and say that my bladder capacity needs to be better, that I shouldn't be begging to be flushed every day. "Toilets should only need to be flushed every other week".
He'd take me away again and into a surgery room. He would press on my bladder and massage it, feeling how full it would be. He'd sigh again, and let me completely empty myself. I'd sigh in relief, but he'd still be talking. "I've custom made a sleeve to go over your bladder that will allow it to expand without bursting. It would also make it numb until your bladder is about to explode." He injects an IV into me and I start falling asleep.
I would wake up again in my usual place in the bar bathroom, but I wouldn't be able to feel my bladder. One by one, people come in and empty themselves into whatever hole they want. Most people would pick the catheter so they could piss directly into my bladder. It would take at least 3 days until I actually felt my bladder, and it would be full. I knew better than to beg though, so I would wait. It wouldn't be until Monday before the bar is opens when I'd be emptied. It would be after the weekend, and so many people would've pissed inside me, so I would be squirming while he opens the little device inside me and the piss runs down my legs and into a bucket, as toilets don't deserve to piss in anything else. I'd be so relieved, but not for long as the bar would be opening soon, and then I'd be filled with piss again.
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queer-n-here · 6 months ago
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C..can i be Anon 🍷? Also i have a lil request, chuuya overstim + edging if u can 🙏🙏
Ofc bro! Welcome to my annon fam! (I did add you to the annon fam thingy on my pinned post earlier hehe) But look:
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Same same. So here's the fic.
Also... Who wants a Loki x reader fanfic? Cuz I was watching Thor: Ragnarok yesterday and I have a scenario in my head that I can't get out. Lemme know if y'all want it!
(Read the Loki fic here)
Contents: Edging and overstimming Chuuya
Warnings: Smut, top male reader, biting, mentions of nipple play, edging, dacryphillia, overstimulation, rough sex with gentle after care.
Fuck, Chuuya couldn't take it anymore.
You'd been at it for hours, for fuck's sake. You kept fucking him, over and over and over again, and not removing your hand from the base of his cock, not letting him come.
And even now, holding the back of knees and pushing his legs further apart, you kept going.
Chuuya, his face stained with tears and throat already hoarse, couldn't even think anymore. He just pushed his face into the crook of your neck, sobbing and begging senselessly for the release that you were holding away from him.
"Please, please, please, please, [Name], please..." It became his mantra, begging you so pathetically, even though he could barely form words with that brain of his turned to mush.
"You wanna cum, Chuuya?" You said, teeth gritted against the feeling of him clenching around you so hard it was getting hard to thrust in and out. "You wanna cum so bad?"
He nodded furiously, sweat-soaked hair sticking to his forehead, eyes puffy and red from all that crying. His entire body was covered in hickeys that you'd left him, and his nipples were still swollen and erect.
"Hmm... Should I let you?" You muttered, slamming your hips into his with such brute force that his head hit the headboard.
Chuuya cried out, fingers gripping your shoulders so hard that his nails had long sunk into your skin.
"Go on then," You took pity, finally, finally, and let go of his dick, placing your hands on either side of his head instead to support your weight.
He came from the third thrust, his body jerking and spasming under you as ropes of come shot out of his dick, painting both your abdomens white. He fell back against the bed, arms falling limply on either side as he huffed and panted, bruised chest heaving.
But fuck, you weren't done with him yet.
And by the time Chuuya realised that, he was already crying again from the overstimulation, feeling your dick continue to rearrange his insides, hitting all the spots that were even more sensitive and sore now. He whined, thighs trembling as you wrapped them around your waist before thrusting in again.
A couple rounds of sex later, everything beneath Chuuya's waist was so numb he couldn't hold himself up on his legs for the life of him. You'd ripped orgasm after orgasm from him, up untill he was shooting blanks. You didn't look like you were stopping anytime soon, but Chuuya felt like he would pass out if this went on anymore.
"[Name]," He said, voice hoarse from all the abuse. "[Name], I can't... I can't go on anymore..."
It was too much.
You could tell from his blown out pupils and the way his soft dick faced down that he was right for once. He genuinely couldn't take anymore. So you pulled out, jerking yourself off till you came over Chuuya's already cum-stained thighs, and then lay down beside him.
He was a mess. You took him to the bathroom to clean up, and he fell asleep in your arms inside the bathtub, letting you wash the bodily fluids off of him.
You knew you'd been tougher than usual on him today, so you didn't say anything, cleaning him up gently and pressing chaste kisses into his temple even though he was asleep. After drying him off, you took him to your room and tucked him in in the clean sheets.
"I'll go clean up your room, too, okay baby?" You pressed another soft kiss against Chuuya's forehead, watching him sleep peacefully.
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ashen-char · 7 months ago
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i say that i hate you with a smile on my face 🔞
ship: amber freeman (scream) x gender neutral reader
warnings: explicit smut so minors get out. hate sex, sex while driving
summary: amber is furious after seeing you with another girl at a party. the only way to deal with her jealousy is to fuck it out of her.
word count: 2700+
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By the time the party ends, it's almost 3am. Early hours have always felt so strange to you, so mysterious that liminal time past midnight and before the sun rises. Everything feels slower. Less alive, almost. There aren't any other cars on the street, aren't any lights on in the houses you pass as you make your way back to Amber's.
The radio is off and the streets are quiet. You almost wish that Amber would go right back to yelling at you because at least it wouldn't be this mind-numbing silence. You're so tense, shoulders stiff and defensive, your grip a vice on the wheel.
You had danced with another girl, sure.
Chad had introduced you to some new girl that Liv had befriended and told to come. You can't even remember what her name was. When Liv got roped into a night shift and couldn't go, she'd told her friend to stick to a familiar face.
Really, you think that Chad just wanted to ditch her on you so that Liv wouldn't tear him a new one for leaving her friend while he got wasted. You owed Chad a solid for helping you score a reservation at some fancy restaurant for you and Amber's anniversary after you forgot it, and you didn't see the harm. That was your first mistake.
Amber's expression is unreadable, her grip white-knuckled on her knee as she stares out the window of your car. Speaking first would feel like you lost—you still don't think you did anything wrong, feel that Amber's reaction went way too far. And you're stubborn. But Amber is even more so. And your relationship is more valuable than winning... whatever this is, so
"I didn't do anything," you say for what feels like the hundredth time that night.
"You hear how you sound right now?" Amber snarls, her own shoulders tensing up. "That's what everyone says when they're caught. I didn't do anything," she imitates your voice in a whine.
Mocking you? How mature.
Letting go of her knee, Amber folds her arms over her chest, looking away from you again. You can see her roll her eyes and scoff a “whatever” under her breath.
You grit your teeth. Possible responses whir through your brain—a joke, an apology, something to diffuse the situation. You know what you should do, know that Amber’s only jealous because she’s desperate for reassurance from you. But God is it exhausting navigating Amber's complex emotions when she doesn't even care if she hurts yours.
Tonight was supposed to be fun for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to go to a party and have a blast, not get into another stupid argument.
Amber hasn't apologised a single time since you two started dating. She hasn't once promised she'd be better like you always do for her. She had yelled at you the second you two left the party, fighting from the porch all the way to the car. She wouldn’t hear you out even once as you were vehemently denying her accusations. You truly believe that you shouldn’t be the one to apologise. Not this time.
So this time, you don't do that. Your hand reaches out, sliding over to the passenger seat until you're grazing Amber's thigh. "What did you think you saw me do, huh?" you say.
“What are you—"
"You think I touched her?" Your fingers trail their way up. The fabric of her leggings is thin, so you can feel the heat of Amber’s skin as you caress her inner thigh. It’s a tease, a war of nerves, wondering when the other will give in. "Like this?"
Amber's still worked up, blood still pumping; the adrenaline from the argument is rushing through her veins. But you know that no matter how pissed off she is at you, there’s no way she’d push you away. You swear she actually moves closer.
“You would,” Amber challenges. “You know, if I knew you were gonna be another unfaithful piece of shit, I wouldn’t have agreed to go out with you.”
You can tell from her tone that she’s trying to rile you up on purpose. Like she’s enjoying getting under your skin. She wants you as heated as she is so it becomes a level playing field. Amber does this whenever you two have a fight, like she's just waiting for you to blow up at her so you feel as insane as she does about you. You know it's all coming from the same place as the jealousy does. She feels so fucking much about you that she's begging for more. Needs retribution so bad. Needs to feel something.
"Sometimes I swear you start fights out of nowhere on purpose," you say. On her upper inner thigh now, your hand squeezes, almost hard enough to bruise. Your thumb runs up down, up down, never quite getting close enough to where she wants it. "Because you like when I touch you while you pretend to hate my guts."
"You're an idiot. Why would I want you to touch me?" Amber clenches her thighs, holding your hand in place, preventing it from slipping back down. You can hear how her breathing gets laboured. She's too stubborn to admit that she wants you to keep going, but you both know it. She can't help the mix of hatred and lust that fuels her veins right now. "I do hate you. I hate you so goddamn much."
A red light. You breathe out in relief.
Finally, your attention doesn't need to be split between the road and this argument. You can see the smile on her face as she swears that she hates you. Good. That wild look in her eyes tells you that you can be more aggressive with her. Amber loves that. 
Your hand slips up right where she wants it, until you're cupping at her center. Only a thin scrap of fabric separate your fingers from the cunt you love so much. You could do it. You could tear through her leggings and fuck the shit out of her. Amber's legs part for you and you swear you hear her whimper.
"What would you do if I did flirt with her, huh?" you say. "Would you break up with me?"
"Fuck you," she spits, though with her shortness of breath it sounds more like a plead. "I bet you wanted to get her to some spare room. You're desperate enough. Were you hoping to get your fingers wet with some other bitch even when you went there with your girlfriend?"
Her mouth is so filthy. You should do something about that. Amber shouldn't be allowed to talk right now. "What's your fucking problem? I was with you all night!"
God, this is fun. Amber's grinning and her eyes shine, the golden light coming in from the streetlights and making everything glow. You squeeze. The meat of your palm is grinding up against her clit but it isn't enough. Not with all that clothing between you. She moans, clenching her legs once more, needing more pressure there.
"You're my problem!" Amber shrieks.
Fuck.
The second you're about to leap in and devour Amber in a kiss, the light you're stopped at turns green. The car behind you honks and you're forced to turn your attention back to the road. Amber lets out a frustrated groan at that, that stupid honking throwing the moment entirely.
"You know what, screw this," she says. You hear Amber unclick her seatbelt, and before you can tell her to strap back in she grabs your hand.
"What are you—" You barely get the words out before your hand is shoved down into her leggings.
Amber's soaked. She's as sticky and warm as the last time you touched her, and you know just how good she'd taste right now too. It isn't your dominant hand—that one is busy on the wheel—so you actually haven't touched her with this one before. It's unfamiliar territory and the same all at once. She pushes her panties to the side with her own hand but it'll be yours that she makes do all the work.
"Shut up. I need this." A low guttural sound escapes her lips as she finally, finally feels your hand where she wants it. Her head tilts back and you feel her thighs squeeze at that first sharp sensation of pleasure. "Shut your mouth and drive," she practically hisses.
You have to focus on the road. The guy behind you is already pissed from how slow you were to keep driving after the green light, and how Amber had given him the middle finger. He's driving so close behind you know that a single slip up could mean a crash. You're so fucked. Especially your fingers, which Amber is sliding her slit up and down on, collecting her wetness with a satisfying shlick.
"Amber," you try to warn. As hot as this is, you do not want to get into an accident because your girlfriend was just so horny during a fight.
Her mouth hangs open in pleasure as she rubs her clit against your palm. It's so much better when you can feel her. You wish you could turn to look. But you can feel Amber's eyes on you, probably still glaring at you with the same hateful glare she had earlier.
"She wouldn't be this wet for you," she tells you.
The girl at the party could not be further from your mind right now. "I don't give a shit about her," you admit. "God, you're so wet, baby." You can feel your own excitement between your legs, can see how your windows are starting to fog up as both of your breaths heat the air.
She lets out a moan, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. "That's right. Because you're mine." Her nails dig into the flesh of your forearm, a threat to scratch you up if you so much as attempt to move away. 
Your fingers slip inside. Two at once. Amber normally likes to play the long game and build up to more, letting you tease her with one sliding in and out until she screams at you for more. But the thrill of the danger and anger and jealousy is getting to both of you. Her hips grind and wind as she rides your fingers, while your other hand desperately grips onto the wheel as you will yourself to concentrate on the road.
"Say it," Amber breathes out. "You're only mine."
A part of you thinks that'd be no fun. "You should've trusted me," you say instead. It's so much more fun when she's seething. It's like her anger is heating up her insides. She feels different. You curve your fingers inside her and she cries out.
"Fuck!"
"Yeah? You loving my fingers in your pussy?" You wriggle the two until you're pressing at the spot that always drives Amber crazy. But it's clumsy. You never use this hand and eventually it'll cramp up and get tired. You know you're doing your job well when she digs her nails in even harder and her hips thrust. Neither of you give a shit when the car behind you honks and overtakes you.
She's too wound up right now, too far gone. Her mouth twists into a vicious smile that you can't see, but you can hear it in her voice. "Y-you wish," Amber struggles out. "You think you're so good. I'm using you here, not the other way around."
She rides your fingers like that for a few minutes. As you had suspected, the lack of practice means that your forearm is already getting tired. As hot as this is, you can't pump as easily as you could if you were on a bed, not worrying about driving. You can tell that Amber is getting frustrated. Maybe that's making it better.
Everything is a blur of rage and lust until you realise you've driven right past her house. Whatever. You're dying to stop the goddamn car and set Amber right. You slam the brakes now that there's no car behind you to hit, sending the car lurching to a stop. Your fingers slide deeper into her cunt with the movement and it makes her scream.
You pull into a residential side street, one even quieter than the rest. Finding a spot to turn off the engine and throw the car into park is easy enough when your brain is putting I need to fuck her right now over safety.
The second that ignition goes off, Amber is already on you. You slip your tired hand away, the other going to her leggings and slipping them off. Her expression is still twisted in that rage that never quite goes away—she hates you, she hates you, she hates you—but she loves you so much when you shove three fingers into her.
You feel her tongue invading your mouth, probing and searching, while her hands continue to grip and claw at your clothes. It's like she's trying to claim you; she wants to take away all evidence of you being your own person, to take away your control.
"Is this what you wanted?" Amber whispers against your mouth. "Why do you make me feel like? You want to see me like this? Huh?"
It's reckless and out of control and perfect. You don't even care that any second you could get caught. You could lose yourself in this moment, in this golden haze that illuminates your fogged up windshield. The car's starting to sway with your movements.
"How do I make you feel, baby?" Her pussy feels so good as you surge your fingers in deeper. "Tell me."
"Like I'm going crazy," she whispers, her voice breaking a little with emotion. It's too much. It was too much then at the party, when she saw you dancing with some other girl, too much when you started touching her. 
Everything about what you're doing to her is bringing Amber closer and closer to that point of no return. "Like you're making me crave you." Her hips rock against you again, her breasts soft as they rub against you too.
This is Amber making you feel the way you make her feel. When you dance with other girls, when you don't text back for hours, when you forget your anniversary. Every time you brushed off an insult and didn't let a fight escalate, this is what she wanted. How pent up she must have been, swallowing down the rage and accepting your apologies.
Amber whines when your thumb grazes against her clit. Every bit of her feels like it's tingling and she's practically soaking your lap at this point. "I hate you but I can't live without you." Amber sounds like she's on the verge of tears. "It scares and excites me at the same time. I—I've never cared this much."
You keep pumping right back into her, never stopping, only growing more and more intense. Her body trembles but you're holding her. Amber's hands grasp at your forearm again, like she can't decide whether to push you away or pull you in. You don't know what to say. She was enjoying the fight earlier, instigated it even, but she's so vulnerable now.
"You're the only one I want," is what you end up settling on. Your thumb stops those teasing grazes now, rubbing against her clit proper. Her wetness makes it so easy. "And I am yours."
This is what makes Amber shudder and dissolve in your arms. The tension finally breaks and she starts squirming against you, fingers lodged so deep into her body it's like you're grazing at something deeper, body shaking violently. She's so close, so impossibly close, a moment of pure ecstasy that lasts seconds before falling apart in a burst of heat and pleasure.
"You're mine!" This she shouts so loud you'd be surprised if the entire neighbourhood didn't wake up.
You two fall silent for a moment, both taking slow, shuddering breaths. Amber can feel her brain is still short circuiting, trying to calm down; it's like her stomach has been replaced with a ball of fire.
"Still hate me?" you whisper, leaning in to kiss Amber.
"Just shut up, okay," she murmurs, kissing back happily now, her voice still raw from the edge of tears and the intense orgasm that had wracked her body. "Don't ever do that again."
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fuckyeahdindjarin · 8 months ago
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Voicemail
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A Seams oneshot, but can be read independently of the series
{ Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }
Rating: T
Summary: You find Joel's old Nokia at the back of a drawer.
Warnings: Angst, description of a panic attack, grief, comfort, no use of Y/N, reader has a nickname related to her job, reader has no physical description, definitely incorrect description of how mobile phones work, very lightly edited.
As always, Seams oneshots are set on a relaxed timeline. Voicemail can be considered to take place at an unspecified time after Part IV.
Word count: 1.8k
Notes: I don't know if anyone has written anything similar, but I've always wanted to write something about Joel's Nokia (the idea for Butter actually came from the phone scene in episode 1 - can't you tell? lol). This idea took me by surprise one night and didn't let me go.
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Important note: I know voicemails don't work this way, but let's pretend that they are saved onto the mobile phone itself and can be accessed decades later, and that a Nokia can indeed survive the apocalypse.
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After the outbreak, after Sarah, after missing his shot - he doesn’t remember much of those early, blurry days. Tommy barely managed to drag his catatonic ass to an abandoned house somewhere on the outskirts of town, where he had to punch him in the face to snap him out of it. 
It being a cocktail of shock, grief, pain and numbness that should’ve killed him, could’ve killed any man. And for the longest time he wished that it did.
It was in the aftershock of that punch, left cheek snapped to his shoulder and his eyes downcast, that Joel saw his Nokia was still clipped to his belt, by some miracle unscathed when everything else had fallen apart.
And he keeps it all these years.
He hadn’t meant to take it with him when he packed up his meagre life to leave Boston behind. But the grubby afternoon light glanced off the screen when he was grabbing maps and hammers from under the dusty floorboards, and with a fuck it, he shrugged and shoved it into the bottom of his backpack. 
If he was being honest with himself, it didn’t feel right leaving it behind.
And so the phone made it to Jackson, and survived the detour to Salt Lake City, largely forgotten. Joel was almost surprised by the sight of it when he finally unpacked his bag in the house that was now his and Ellie’s. 
With a wry smile, he tossed it into a nondescript drawer in the garage, never to see the light of day again.
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Until one weekend, Joel asks you to help him find some obscure screwdriver in his garage, not able to get up from where he’s on his back, stemming the flow of the perpetually leaky sink in Ellie’s bathroom.
The space is cool, the shutters down and the air dank from the lack of sun. Under the flickering fluorescent light, you go through a frankly ridiculous number of toolboxes without sighting the elusive screwdriver. With a sigh, you try the middle drawer in the workbench, which is clogged with what looks like everything under the sun. 
Your lips twitch - Joel Miller is a messy man.
Digging around the random clutter, you startle when your fingers brush the long-forgotten, yet instantly familiar plastic case of the Nokia.
Wrapping your hand around the rectangular frame, you smile, in disbelief that you’re holding a mobile phone. You had a similar one that got lost in the confusion of the first days of the outbreak, and you haven’t seen one in the years since. At least not one in such good condition.
Joel’s faraway voice jolts you out of your thoughts. ‘Found it, sweetheart?’
‘Just a second!’ you call back.
Tucking the phone back where it came from, you grab the nearest screwdriver and hope for the best. 
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It takes you a few days of asking around town, poking around dusty storerooms and untangling twenty year-old electric cords, but you eventually find what you’re looking for, and there’s a spring in your step as you cook dinner that evening. 
Joel seems to pick up on your energy, and he grins, amused, when he brings in the empty dishes after you eat.
‘You’re buzzin’ out of your skin, sweetheart,’ he teases, grabbing you by the waist. ‘What’s up with you?’
You cock your head to the side. ‘Well, I have a surprise for you.’
‘Is that so?’ he hums, then lets his voice drop an octave in playful insinuation. ‘What kind of surprise, hmm?’
‘Not that kind of surprise,’ you huff with a smile. ‘It’s - it’s hard to explain.’
‘Try me.’
Twisting out of his grip, you open a cabinet and pull out something that fits neatly in your palm. Joel frowns, confused by what looks like - a charger.
When you speak, it’s slow, as if you don’t want to startle him. ‘There’s a whole warehouse of wires and things down by the canteen. A patrol stumbled across an electronics shop in a nearby town a few years ago.’
He gives you a crooked smile. ‘And what am I s’pposed to do with it, sweetheart?’
You take a moment, making sure that his eyes are on you before the words come out. ‘I found the Nokia in your garage the other day, when I was looking for the screwdriver.’
You watch as Joel processes your words, and he goes still, stiller than you’ve ever seen him. 
Then he blinks and shuffles his feet, glancing down at the charger. ‘I - I didn’t expect this.’
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. ‘I know. And you don’t have to do anything with it, really, but I just wanted you to have it.’
He nods, slowly. ‘Ok.’
Hesitating, you stutter, ‘So, um, do you - want to take it -?’
Joel holds his hand out, calloused palm quietly upturned. You half expect him to jump at the contact, but he doesn’t move a muscle when the black wire lands in his grasp, and his thick fingers curl around them.
‘I got the dishes, if you want to go first,’ you prompt softly.
Joel swallows, then nods. ‘Yeah, I think I’ll do that. If y’ don’t mind, sweetheart.’
‘Of course,’ you smile, pressing a kiss to his lips.
It’s cold outside, but he doesn’t feel it, not when the charger seems to be burning a hole in his hand. When he gets back to his house - empty, Ellie is at Lucy’s for dinner - he heads straight to the garage, and tugs open the drawer.
The Nokia stares back at him, screen blank.
Flinging the charger into the drawer without seeing where it lands, he shoves the drawer close with a snap.
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Weeks pass. It hangs in the back of his mind like a spector, even though you don’t bring it up again, and he doesn’t either. 
He’s not sure if he’s afraid of it, or dreading it, or worst of all - hopeful of what he would find on it.
It’s been twenty years. Electronics don’t last that long. It’s gotta be wiped clean.
One Wednesday night, Ellie is upstairs, music blaring, doing ‘homework’ or whatever she does on a weeknight (he doesn’t believe in helicopter parenting), and Joel finds his thoughts drifting to that damn drawer.
Feeling reckless, he reaches for the top shelf in the kitchen, pours himself two fingers of whiskey, and charges into the garage.
Hopping onto a workstool, he takes a big gulp of liquid courage and sets the tumbler on the work surface. Before his resolve slips completely out of touch, he yanks on the handle, and he winces when the drawer yawns open with a screech.
The Nokia feels foreign to the touch, like he’s forgotten how to hold a phone. It was, of course, glued to his ear almost all hours of the day and night once upon a time. He turns the plastic case over and the other way around again, smoothing the pad of his thumb over the buttons.
There’s no putting it off forever.
In goes the plug into the electric socket, and he looks down, phone in the left hand, the end of the charger in the other.
He thinks he’s seeing double until he realises that his hands are fucking shaking.
In one determined motion, he slots the charger into the bottom of the phone and drops it like it’s acid.
Then he downs the rest of his whiskey.
He’s not sure how long he stares, the very air around him as unmoving as himself, and he feels the alcohol spread its warm fingers through his veins. 
Just when he’s about to look away, it happens.
The battery sign appears on the screen.
Joel almost chokes on a chuckle. He can’t fucking believe it. You really can’t kill a Nokia if you tried.
It doesn’t take long for the familiar home screen to pop up, the time on the top right corner, the battery in the bottom right. The bright green glare casts a cool glow in the dim. Joel picks up the phone, only to be nearly knocked backwards off the chair when the words flash across the screen.
1 NEW VOICEMAIL.
He’s sure his heart has stopped, it definitely feels like it, a deadweight in his chest sinking into his stomach. But he hears it, the relentless beat of it, pounding violently in his ears. Too fast. Gripping the edge of the work surface, he tries to breathe, mouth open, but air isn’t getting in.
It could be nothing. Could be a voicemail he missed from a client that night, or a junk call.
He’s not sure if he’s afraid of it, or dreading it, or worst of all -
He’s trembling so badly that he needs both hands to hold the phone steady, just so that his thumb presses the selection key.
He doesn’t hear the pre-recorded message, his brain skips it entirely. Then there’s five seconds of silence, and his life flashes before his eyes at the familiar beep -
Dad, are you on your way home? Please tell me you remembered the cake. Uncle Tommy bet me ten dollars that you won’t and I kinda need that lunch money tomorrow. See you soon, love you dad -
And everything goes white.
When Joel comes around, he’s on his knees, the empty tumbler in crystalline pieces around him. The phone is no longer attached to the charger, clutched so tightly in his hands that he feels the imprint of every button in his palm.
He won’t know that his face is wet with tears until you thumb the streaks off his cheeks on your doorstep minutes later, no memory of how he got there. You draw him into you, but your embrace barely contains his broad frame.
You can’t get him far in his state, whiskey on his breath and shivering all over. You drag him across the living room and onto the couch, where you curl up against him, warming him up with your body heat, cradling his head on your chest. The candlelight bounces off the phone screen, which glows green in his grasp.
It will take him weeks to get his head around what you have given him. And when he does, he will ask if you want to hear Sarah’s voice - shyly - as if you would ever say no. 
Watching him watch you, Sarah’s warm, fun-loving voice in your ear, the seams of your lashes sting with tears as your heart clenches, swells, breaks for him - and then put together again by his hand finding you, fingers filling the gaps between yours.
But for now, he lies prostrate, his weight pinning you to the couch, as you comb soothing fingers through his hair, anchoring him to you.
‘I got you, Joel,’ you whisper in his ear, and his eyelids droop and his breathing evens out, as if he’s run a thousand miles. ‘I got you.’
As he drifts off to sleep - his baby girl's love you dad echoing between his ears - he knows that you do.
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More notes: I don't lean too hard into angst in my fics as a rule, so this took me places I haven't been for a while, but it's ok cos Pin's got our man 🥺 Thank you for reading, as always! ❤️
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narcissistshandler · 1 year ago
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Not very specific buuut bottom!miguel o'hara and squirt? thank u, love your blog
𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗
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✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 male reader x miguel o'hara
✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 top!amab reader, bottom! miguel, anal sex, squirt
✧ 𝖠/𝖭 I won't be reviewing this here anytime soon.
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With shaking hands he grab the base of your cock, firm legs keeping him aloft, semen dripping from him as Miguel aligned the head of your cock against his convulsing hole.
As him sink down, inch by inch, his body overstimulated from four orgasms trembles with the mix of pleasure and a tinge of pain. The familiar stretch and the delicious fullness, sends waves of ecstasy coursing through him, his dick only half-hard dripping with need in response.
You hold Miguel's hips firmly, letting him take his time until he is sitting on your hips in a new position. Miguel's entire body shivers at the sensation of having his ass filled all over again, a combination of pleasure and pressure that bother his arachnid senses. You asked him if he wanted a break, Miguel denied, too embarrassed to say that even though he could barely get hard again and his skin felt so sensitive it was itching, he still wanted more, much more.
He began to move, bouncing on your cock with a desperation he later liked to pretend never existed. His entire body trembling with the pressure and sensitivity, eyes flashing between red and brown as your cock stretched his sensitive hole and hit his prostate almost violently.
The bed rocked beneath you, creaking and hitting the wall, the sound almost muted under the animalistic growls Miguel didn't notice was making, mind too hot, whole body hot, so hot and stinging and wanting even more, deeper, stronger... And there's a strange feeling in his stomach that Miguel takes a long time to notice, a pressure and uncomfortable feeling that he blames on overstimulation and sensitivity on his overloaded senses.
Miguel can't stop or contain himself and with a purely animalistic growl as he rides your cock with need, he comes onto your stomach.
Your fingers dig into his waist and Miguel barely understands your 'you're making a mess' words laden with erotic amusement. This causes Miguel to blink, redirecting attention from the ceiling to you under him. His cock spilled screwily, like an open faucet, spurting clear, thin liquid onto your stomach and chest, which dripped down them and onto the sheets. A real mess.
Miguel's face burned, eyes glassy watching one of his hands shooting out to grip his cock, trying to stop the leak, as if none of the moves belonged to him. But the liquid continues to leak through his fingers against the sensitive head, now in small amounts that drip with a low, slow sound that sounds a hundred times louder in his ears.
"It's okay," you seem to say, licking your lips as you try to dislodge Miguel's hand. "You can let go."
Tomorrow Miguel would be so ashamed of this that he would throw the sheets away, pretend that nothing happened and shut you up if you made any attempt to bring the matter up. But today... Without thinking too much about it, with a whimper, Miguel complied and stopped trying to contain his half-hard cock squirt out what like pee or water and pressed the wet hand against your chest, going back to working his hips in sensual gyrations, enjoying each drop of pleasure and discomfort your cock brought him.
There was something primal about it, as Miguel knew that his scent would be impervious to your skin and even after you showered, his spider senses would still recognize you as his. His. His. His.
Miguel's thighs contracted so hard it hurt, the orgasm ripping through his overheated body like a knife slicing through the inside of his stomach. He stopped moving so suddenly his entire body shook in response, hole tightened around you, but Miguel still wanted more, he wanted you inside him until the pleasure left him numb and unable to reason with anything other than your dick.
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fcthots · 1 year ago
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jason x depressed!reader with "Do you want me to wash your hair?"
You're in your bed, trying to take a nap. You were exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep, and even if you did, it wouldn't go away. Picking up your phone and seeing all the missed texts and calls made it worse. The tv was on some show that you used to love, but now it was just pissing you off. Sleep wouldn't come and everything was making you upset or angry, but you also felt numb. Everything was stupid and you felt trapped in your own head.
Until you heard the door open.
You weren't worried about it being an intruder or anything. Jason made sure your apartment was equipped with oracle approved safety measures when you moved in, but that meant that there were very few people it could be.
You don’t move from your spot, only your eyes and greasy hair peeking out from the blankets. Maybe you didn’t have the energy to get up and run to the bathroom to get ready, but that doesn’t mean you particularly liked anyone seeing you this vulnerable.
He gently opens your bedroom door. The lights are off so he can't tell right away if you're awake or not. He squints until he spots your eyes watching him. He sighs.
His footsteps feel louder than they are. You avert your gaze from his and instead focus your eyes onto his feet walking closer to you.
When he finally makes it to his destination, he doesn't look at you right away. "I'm gonna turn on the lamp."
You shut your eyes and reopen them after you hear the click of the lamp. You squint at Jason's feet again.
His voice holds no judgment or accusation. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"
You want to respond, you do, but you have no excuse to offer him. Your mouth feels heavy with the weight of your guilt. You worried him. He has other things to do and now he's checking on you because you wouldn't pick up the fucking phone and send one text message. And why? Because it was too stressful for you?
He lightly peels the covers back from your face.
"Come back to me. Don't lock yourself up in there. I'm not mad. You didn't do anything wrong. Stop trying to punish yourself."
You finally look at his face in order to squint at him in faux offense. He knows you too well.
He trails his thumb gently up and down your arm. "You good to answer questions?"
You think about it for a minute and nod, despite the fact that you don't exactly feel like like answering questions, afraid of what they will be, but this is Jason after all. He's always mindful of your limits. The hand stills.
"Cool. Do you know how many days it's been since this started? Ballpark?"
You avert your eyes. You feel shameful for not telling him when it started, knowing he asked you to tell him when it happens.
He starts trailing his thumb again. "Try and stay out your head for me. I promise I'm not mad, I'm just trying to figure out how bad the episode is."
You sigh. "Three?" Your voice comes out cracked from disuse.
He watches his hand move against your arm. "Close enough, although I think it may have been 4 days, maybe 5."
You grunt in acknowledgement.
He sighs, not out of exasperation, but in thought. "Do you want me to wash your hair? Like in the sink."
"No. The rest of me is gross too, I don't wanna wash just my hair."
"Well do you feel up to a full shower?"
You feel like you want to cry, but you won't. "No...but I don't want to just wash one part. I don't wanna use all the energy I have left only to get one thing done, but I don't have energy for the rest."
He softly brings his hand to your face. His thumb trails over your cheekbone. "That sounds overwhelming" after a beat, "and exhausting."
You groan and try to hide yourself under the covers, dislodging his hand.
He peels the covers back again. His voice holds sincerity. "How about I give you a bath then? You don't have to do any of the work. I'll do everything. How's that? Sound good?"
You take a moment before tentatively nodding your head.
Jason takes his time helping you up. He supports most of your weight which seems silly because you can technically walk just fine, but you don't pull away all the same. His arm feels warm around your waist as you walk.
"I'll make you something to eat after you get out, assuming you haven't eaten in a while." He's right. You nod. Something eats away at you.
Your steps get slower as you feel heavier with guilt. "You know it won't fix me, right? None of it can." You don't look him in the eyes as you speak.
You watch the furrow of his brows from the corner of your vision. He stops walking so he can look you in the eyes. "I don’t care. I don't care if I have to do this every day for months at a time. I don't care if I have to cook every single meal for you. I'll do all of it and more because I care about you."
"I'm already too much of a burden, I won't allow you too do that for me"
"But you can't make yourself do it right now so what's the plan? To rot away? No. Not happening. You are not a burden. I want to help you. Let me help you."
For him, you'd do anything.
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drunkenbagel · 29 days ago
Text
day two: size kink - könig
kinktober masterlist
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Pairing: König (CoD) x f!reader Content/warnings: +18 CONTENTS MINORS DNI! size kink, praising, dirty talking, v fingering, p in v, use of pet names, creampie
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König knew he was big. Most of the times he even tried to make himself smaller around other people, but there was just something about knowing he could easily manhandle your much smaller sized self.
Something about how you blushed when he towered over you, trying his best not to cum on the spot when you tried to take him in your throat, eyes prickling with tears at both the length and girth of his dick in your mouth.
“It's not going to fit” you said with wide eyes the first time you saw him in his full naked glory.
“You can take it, Liebe” he said as he got a big finger inside of your already soaking cunt. “My good girl can take me over and over, we just have to work you up a little.”
You whined at his words, a gasp falling from your lips as he got another finger inside you, working in and out of you, getting used to the size. When he added a third finger and curved them to brush the sensitive spot, it wasn't long until your legs trembled and heat started pooling on your lower belly.
“That's it, Liebe, cum for me so I can fuck you nice and deep” he said with a grumble as he kissed your neck.
It didn't take much longer until you snapped and gripped at his biceps while gasping his name as you came in his fingers. He brought them up to his lips and not breaking eye contact, he licked them clean.
“Can't waste anything, can we?” he said in a low voice as you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment and need.
He positioned himself between your legs, getting his fat tip into your soaked folds, pushing inwards. You gasped at the sudden intrusion and gripped the sheets, your body tensing up.
“Relax for me, liebling” he said hovering over you, leaving soft kisses on your jaw and your neck.
You could feel him pushing farther, feeling like your insides were on fire at the feeling of his big dick making its way, molding you.
“Look at you, taking me so well” he gasped, barely containing himself when he saw his dick disappearing inside of you. “Your pretty little pussy is swallowing me. Doing so good for me.”
You whimpered at the praise. You would be lying if you said it didn't hurt, but it was a burning sensation that felt just too good.
Just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, you felt his fat tip pushing against your cervix, hips clashing with another. König stilled, breathing heavily and trying not to cum at the sight of your lower belly, swollen with the outline of his dick inside of you. He moved back, taking almost all of his length out before clashing your hips together again, making you cry out in pleasure, burning sensation growing in you.
“Fuck, you're taking me so well, liebling, you feel so good. God, I could fuck this pretty little pussy of yours all day” he gasped at every thrust inside of you, each faster than the one before. It was mind numbing, the feeling of his dick making way in and out of you, molding you to his will and ruining you for any other. “Meine schöne Liebe”
You couldn't think straight. The praise, the overwhelming feeling of his cock fucking you relentlessly, the feeling of his soft lips and wet tongue on your sensitive spots in your neck, it was all too much.
You felt the coiling sensation growing back on your belly as he stroked your clit.
“König, please- I need to- I-” you stammered, trying to finish a coherent sentence, but your fucked out brain couldn't make any.
“I know, liebling, me too” he said, gasps and moans mixing each other in your mouths. “Cum with me, darling. Let me feel you come around me”
You squeezed your eyes shut, mouth open agape as you loudly moaned, his name escaping your lips ever so lovely. He didn't last much longer as he felt you tighten around him, pussy gripping his dick until he came with a long, low grunt, filling you up to the brim until cum leaked out of you.
He couldn't help but get hard again at the sight of you, cock drunk and fucked silly, string of cum and juices connecting his tip with your leaking cunt. You yelped when he thrust his full length inside again, his name coming out between gasps and breathy moans. He couldn't stop looking at how his dick made your belly swollen, mushy walls of your cunt squeezing him.
”I'm just getting started with you, liebling.”
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