#unsafe streets
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If You're Giving to Get, You Missed the Point
I was minding my Black ass business, leaving my house having just checked the mailbox, and was determined to throw out the junk mail I had just acquired, and then head up the block to the postal box on the corner. Its a blessing and a curse to live on a main street that is highly trafficked and usually very busy, for this reason alone, I usually try to handle my business in the wee hours of the morning, so I don't have to fucks with the riff-raff going up and down the avenue.
This was one of those days that I had to walk smack into the path of a Karen or at least a Karen-like looking woman. I wasn't really studying her, I was off to complete my main task, mail a letter. Taking the sojourn out of my apartment in the first place is so rare, I don't look forward to getting accosted the first thing out the door. But I knew it best to put letters in the box during the daylight hours because of recent mailbox theft, and also the temperature was at the highest it would be for the day, so a good time to make a secondary errand to the supermarket and re-up on my yogurt.
She's ooo'ing and ahh'ing over how beautiful my sweater was and I am like, I really don't need this right now. I knew I was cute before I left the damned house, I don't need you telling me what I already know. But I was raised well, and said in a low annoyance-tinged voice thank you. I am sure that mildly inebriated Black man who was closer to me heard me. But nano-seconds after her compliment was a nasty, well you're welcome. #😤 It took all my effort to NOT stop my forward motion and go back and whoop her ass! I had two errand to do, and none of them had anything to do with affirming a Karen.
So she expected to give something to get something, in my mind no different than a crafty pan-handler who leads with some creative line hoping it will get you to give them some money. Her attention was given as an acknowledgement or affirmation, but clearly something that was serving her ego and her own needs. I know this because I can feel the difference when someone is genuinely seeing me, and when they are just seeing what they want, the latter is where this Karen was at clearly.
I have no desire to get into her head, it doesn't sound like a very pleasant place to be, but in seconds she turned my initial moments outside sour, and irked me enough that I had a flash of wanting to commit violence because my personal peace had been violated with her unnecessary rudeness. This is exactly the reason I don't leave my mother fucking house. Can't I go outside with having to take on the burdens of whatever disposition or energy folks are carrying that day?
When I give a compliment to someone if I even verbalize it, because I don't always, its a nod or just making eye contact and a small smile, but if I do say something its to let that person know, I see you! #👀 My intentions come from a place of encouragement with no expectation of anything from that person.
Black women in my experience are very good at this, they have a cornucopia of affirming phrases they can say to you that lift you up, because you sense their sincerity and their unnecessary need of reciprocation. They give a gift, with no expectation of getting anything back. This is the kind of human I want to be, the one who spreads love, not necessarily expecting love back.
This Karen was like a sooty cloud darkening my doorstep, tripping over alleged good intentions masked in some personal need for recognition. As far as I am concerned, she could have kept her damned mouth shut.
I shared this story with a girlfriend and she reminded me that this was a form of street harassment, which is so curious because if anyone would know that walking down the street isn't a transaction you would think would be a woman.
This whyte woman's entitlement and self-absorption wouldn't allow her to see that she was wrong from the front to the back. As a queer person street harassment has been a part of life especially as a young queer. Its part of the reason I don't expose my body when going outside, folks don't know how to act. But it seems even when I am fully covered up, folks don't know how to act. It blows my mind that a protected group can cause as much harm and damage as the group that targets them, and not even be aware of it.
#street harassment#leave me alone#can I walk down the street#white entitlement#not a compliment#nasty remarks#Karen#hurtful behavior#unsafe streets#running errands#brooklyn#journal entry#i know I look good#sweater weather
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The very unsafe ‘Slingshot’ 50’s Dragsters
#The very unsafe ‘Slingshot’ 50’s Dragsters#modified#stance#tuning#retro rides#tuner#slammed#street#imports#lowered#50s drag car#vintage race cars#classic racing car#pro street#old photos
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The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know
#sometimes I think about telling certain people and then I'm reminded why I shouldn't <3#em rambles#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things#ableism#even the people who do know are still iffy sometimes like you may think 'I usually don't get along with autistic people' is a compliment bu#it just makes me uncomfortable lmao#idk it's just like. yeah I don't 'seem' autistic with great intentionality around certain people because they've shown#me how unsafe it is lmao#I just hate that people think you're just quirky and different until you put the autistic label on it then there's something WRONG with you#or say you couldn't be autistic because there's nothing WRONG with you you're not THAT bad you're not LIKE THAT#I mean like. ideally I would like me telling people to expand people's ideas of what an autistic person looks/acts like but the sad reality#is that it'll just end in either disbelief or bullying#most likely#you know in ratatouille when remi thinks humans aren't so bad and then his dad shows him that shop with the dead rats and rat poison and#traps and the next morning remi tries walking down the street and people scream and throw stuff at him and call rats disgusting creatures#and he says 'I was reminded how fragile it all was'#that's the vibe as a closeted autistic lmao#you find people who accept you and think maybe it's not that dangerous. maybe it'd be okay#and then other people remind you why you mask in the first place#my autism is the rat hiding inside my hat
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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom
#.txt#i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak#and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient#acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress#was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.
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(...they got six cop cars the next street over and a dang helicopter with a spotlight circling my block - y'all what is going on today???)
#police scanners are so difficult to understand like SPEAK UP FOLKS#it's just “grumble grumble STATIC grumble BEEEEEEP”#like#we're staying inside but i feel like someone should let us know what's going on if there's someone they're looking for???#i don't feel unsafe here but we did have a domestic/hostage situation down the street earlier this year#idk if it's la migra or what???#the helicopter is a weird touch
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Dick: I think you may have inherited Bruce's adoption problem
Jason:
#I'm pretty sure Jason just picks up kids from the streets if they feel unsafe or something#He probably tries to make sure they have existing family before adopting them#To the point he knows like half the Gotham youth#jason todd#red hood dc#red hood#dc comics#DC#batfam#headcanon#oh yeah he has a lot of pets too#Damian loves it
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The hipsters are truly descending on Leith. I thought this flavour of waxed moustache striped shirt pocket watch and sunglasses Coolest Kids At The Warehouse Rave Mr B fucker died out in like 2012 but no they're everywhere. moustaches waxed up to the heavens tweed in 26° spring weather.
my going theory now is that this style of hipster is just an inevitable symptom of gentrification at any point in history. assume when Londinium was first becoming a metropolis it was beset by moustachioed men in pinstripe toga with pocket sundials. twats.
#red said#it's possible that my kneejerk reaction to hipsters is itself a 2012 hangover#BUT. COUNTERPOINT. I feel exactly as strongly about the previous rounds of Gentrification Symptoms#which is to say: a proliferation of grey-decor coffee shops with industrial lighting fittings selling £4 coffees (~6 years ago)#an onrush of pricy vintage shops and independent art galleries (~4 years ago)#a rise of plant shops and plant themed cafes all decorated with endless monstera (~2 years ago)#and the current realisation that i can't fucking get a fryup in more than 3 places on this street bc everywhere is a goddamn brunch spot#selling £8.50 eggs on toast#meanwhile most of the independent grocers are shutting there's no more greasy spoons#oh and rent in the area has Literally Doubled at the lowest end. a 2 bed used to be in the 450-600 pcm range#now almost everything even the kind of dive i was in for £550 is £1k+ a month#instead of building more affordable housing they're building more student housing#and the vibe has changed. like ppl used to be extremely drunk and high but also very nice and i never felt unsafe here#that's still true but it's getting less true
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This is understandably, and reasonably, a fraught subject, due to general demographic make ups and the wider cultural issues like marginalized persons being unfairly accused of being "angry", the actual anger of persons of various marginalized groups being disproportionately stigmatized, etc. so I'm being careful with my words here. But. A lot of people in online lefty spaces genuinely have severe unmanaged pathological anger issues that they express publicly in extremely unhealthy and upsetting ways and I can't help but feel like that's a, uh, bad thing.
#sometimes i read posts and its like hey im not going to tell you that feeling this way about human rights violations is bad#but you sound like a school shooter rn#you can't graphically talk about how you want to gut liberals (ops definition of which bizarrely also includes most other communists)#in the street. thats very weird. on multiple levels.#but its very common in these social spaces or at least largely ignored and it makes me feel... something#some of this shit is like. if nothing else dangerous for the person posting like.#on top of you just generally creating a very rancid and unsafe feeling social space#this could be considered an actionable threat in court and your face is on this account like i know you're just venting but my god my god#shut UP!!!
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got hate crimed by street children today and it made me think 'oh so I should just grow my hair out long again so I don't look weird to people' but then I was like 'NO ACTUALLY! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I!!!!'
#sorry for not being the coolest guy ever but children having a loud performed disgust reaction to you is upsetting even if they are wrong!#I want to dress really feminine tomorrow to be safe and it’s pathetic.#funniest bit is I literally got street harassed by a man at a different point and he just saw me as Woman and in no other category#WHAT IS THE TRUTH.#I do not feel unsafe walking around near my house but this was at the top of the fucking road
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Every time I see a "there's a shortage of tops/doms" post I have to wonder, is there really a top/dom shortage or do you just treat people who top/dom like shit? Is there really a shortage or do you just have unrealistic expectations that no top/dom could reasonably meet? Is there really a shortage or do you just take no steps to put yourself out there or actively talk to people who you want to top/dom you?
Essentially, is there really a shortage or do you just refuse to put the work in on your end?
#not a yakuza post#kink talk#I'm writing this as an angry former switch leaning dom who was repeatedly treated like this and now wants fuck all to do with domming#The amount I was mistreated by entitled subs who thought just because I was masc and a dom that meant I was their sex and/or kink dispenser#Sex and Kink is a two way street#everyone involved has to put in the work for it to be safe#are you putting the work in? or are you being unsafe?
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Lost my bracelet I've had forever and now I'm contemplating digging through the biohazard bin I dropped it in ... It's just gloves and pipette tips in there... I'd wear gloves myself it would literally be fine. Probably. Maybe. I need to find an accomplice.
#or i dropped it on the street and someone picked it up#but i swear theres a good chance i threw it out with my gloves#unsafe lab practice 2 dig thru the biohazard trash but im Considering it
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i wish i could write meaningful poetry or even do comics properly to express ideas and things in my brain that haunt me a bit but i cant so im just left sitting on my bed staring at a wall and going Huh. Okay.
#today ive been thinking a lot about like. google earth of all things LOL#but specifically how id use it all the time as a kid and ofc id look up our house at time in the street view#but now as an adult more than a decade later when i go to our old street address in google eartb the pictures the same. it hasnt been#updated (understandably since its a remote shitty run down apartment in the outskirts of a remote small town in finland of all places#but still. i cant really describe the feeling of looking at a still of my childhood home taken by an outsider as anything but like. dread#because that moment thats still perserved on google earth is from when that house was the most violent and unsafe place in the world to me#and it just stays like that. frozen in time. something about ghosts caught on cameras maybe idk.#doesnt help that we dont have photos of the place really (no one felt like documenting it at the time lol) so its the only thing i have.#this completely From An Outsiders Pov still. its uncomfortable to look at. especially remembering being a child shortly after our street was#added to the site and looking at it during that time period. Man.#and when i do occasionally as an adult use google earth i always think about it too like everything i look at is Someones past
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I have such resentment against the 24% of voters who didn't show up. It was so easy to choose the lesser evil in a ballotage situation and make a commitment to fight against the bullshit Massa was going to bring to the table. It's easier to resist on the streets when the president elect isn't promising to repress using the armed forces.
#My friend is having a prolonged anxiety attack. Milei decals are so ubiquitous I'm starting to feel unsafe on the street.#l33chsp34k
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If I kiss a man in public and I catch a stranger recording us I'm throwing something at them
#why is it that people just like#think its okay to record gay people on the street being gay#im sorry but like i hate being recorded I've had bad experiences#why make it feel even more unsafe (or at least v uncomfortable) for gay people to exist in public?
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whatever it is that makes the happiness of cats that were homeless and we're then given a house is what i need
#incantations#in fact most of my cats have been picked up from the street#vaquita was picked up by mother who saw her near a big dog when she was like little enough to be unsafe#frankie was picked up from a park
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Love how in the 1920 au, everyone's problem solving skills are essentially just "get Uma".
#disney descendants#the 1920 mafia au#uma descendants#a child on your doorstep talking about corpses in their mother's basement?#seems kind of unsafe conditions for a child?#drag them to Uma#oh so you just killed a cult leader and also there is this crying teenage girl??#Uma will know what to do#need to be bailed out of jail?#Uma's got you#the streets are unsafe?#go to Uma anyway and hope she gets you to Harriet
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