#unsafe streets

[xtrablak674]

If You're Giving to Get, You Missed the Point

I was minding my Black ass business, leaving my house having just checked the mailbox, and was determined to throw out the junk mail I had just acquired, and then head up the block to the postal box on the corner. Its a blessing and a curse to live on a main street that is highly trafficked and usually very busy, for this reason alone, I usually try to handle my business in the wee hours of the morning, so I don't have to fucks with the riff-raff going up and down the avenue.

This was one of those days that I had to walk smack into the path of a Karen or at least a Karen-like looking woman. I wasn't really studying her, I was off to complete my main task, mail a letter. Taking the sojourn out of my apartment in the first place is so rare, I don't look forward to getting accosted the first thing out the door. But I knew it best to put letters in the box during the daylight hours because of recent mailbox theft, and also the temperature was at the highest it would be for the day, so a good time to make a secondary errand to the supermarket and re-up on my yogurt.

She's ooo'ing and ahh'ing over how beautiful my sweater was and I am like, I really don't need this right now. I knew I was cute before I left the damned house, I don't need you telling me what I already know. But I was raised well, and said in a low annoyance-tinged voice thank you. I am sure that mildly inebriated Black man who was closer to me heard me. But nano-seconds after her compliment was a nasty, well you're welcome. #😤 It took all my effort to NOT stop my forward motion and go back and whoop her ass! I had two errand to do, and none of them had anything to do with affirming a Karen.

So she expected to give something to get something, in my mind no different than a crafty pan-handler who leads with some creative line hoping it will get you to give them some money. Her attention was given as an acknowledgement or affirmation, but clearly something that was serving her ego and her own needs. I know this because I can feel the difference when someone is genuinely seeing me, and when they are just seeing what they want, the latter is where this Karen was at clearly.

I have no desire to get into her head, it doesn't sound like a very pleasant place to be, but in seconds she turned my initial moments outside sour, and irked me enough that I had a flash of wanting to commit violence because my personal peace had been violated with her unnecessary rudeness. This is exactly the reason I don't leave my mother fucking house. Can't I go outside with having to take on the burdens of whatever disposition or energy folks are carrying that day?

When I give a compliment to someone if I even verbalize it, because I don't always, its a nod or just making eye contact and a small smile, but if I do say something its to let that person know, I see you! #👀 My intentions come from a place of encouragement with no expectation of anything from that person.

Black women in my experience are very good at this, they have a cornucopia of affirming phrases they can say to you that lift you up, because you sense their sincerity and their unnecessary need of reciprocation. They give a gift, with no expectation of getting anything back. This is the kind of human I want to be, the one who spreads love, not necessarily expecting love back.

This Karen was like a sooty cloud darkening my doorstep, tripping over alleged good intentions masked in some personal need for recognition. As far as I am concerned, she could have kept her damned mouth shut.

I shared this story with a girlfriend and she reminded me that this was a form of street harassment, which is so curious because if anyone would know that walking down the street isn't a transaction you would think would be a woman.

This whyte woman's entitlement and self-absorption wouldn't allow her to see that she was wrong from the front to the back. As a queer person street harassment has been a part of life especially as a young queer. Its part of the reason I don't expose my body when going outside, folks don't know how to act. But it seems even when I am fully covered up, folks don't know how to act. It blows my mind that a protected group can cause as much harm and damage as the group that targets them, and not even be aware of it.

[marvelsmostwanted]

January 16, 2025:

January 29 & February 4, 2025:

January 31 & February 4, 2025:

Hmmmm

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know

[summer-horror-party]

mannnn the whole family-situationship between the dreemurrs & holidays reminds me so much of a thing my family had going with my sister's former best friend's family through most of elementary school

[snowcoming]

ever so often i remember the time my friends and I went for trick or treating for Halloween, and this neighbor we already thought was creepy said come into our house and ill give it and WE WENT and then he went to the basement and WE FOLLOWED like bro 💀😭

a group of 7-11 year olds should not be allowed to roam around alone who allowed this 😭😭

i also remember that on the same day we followed another person into their house they gave us candy for Halloween and it was all good but we split up like three of us outside three inside like wow we had great ideas

and i know like you get to know your neighbours especially if uve known them ur entire life but im talking about the two houses who id never met the owner of or the owner was creepy af 😭😭😭

[bloomingonionbitch]

(...they got six cop cars the next street over and a dang helicopter with a spotlight circling my block - y'all what is going on today???)

[hetheymerrill]

This is understandably, and reasonably, a fraught subject, due to general demographic make ups and the wider cultural issues like marginalized persons being unfairly accused of being "angry", the actual anger of persons of various marginalized groups being disproportionately stigmatized, etc. so I'm being careful with my words here. But. A lot of people in online lefty spaces genuinely have severe unmanaged pathological anger issues that they express publicly in extremely unhealthy and upsetting ways and I can't help but feel like that's a, uh, bad thing.

[generalmelchett]

got hate crimed by street children today and it made me think 'oh so I should just grow my hair out long again so I don't look weird to people' but then I was like 'NO ACTUALLY! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I!!!!'

[thatevilenby]

Every time I see a "there's a shortage of tops/doms" post I have to wonder, is there really a top/dom shortage or do you just treat people who top/dom like shit? Is there really a shortage or do you just have unrealistic expectations that no top/dom could reasonably meet? Is there really a shortage or do you just take no steps to put yourself out there or actively talk to people who you want to top/dom you?

Essentially, is there really a shortage or do you just refuse to put the work in on your end?

[cuntstable]

i wish i could write meaningful poetry or even do comics properly to express ideas and things in my brain that haunt me a bit but i cant so im just left sitting on my bed staring at a wall and going Huh. Okay.

[ophthalmotropy]

I have such resentment against the 24% of voters who didn't show up. It was so easy to choose the lesser evil in a ballotage situation and make a commitment to fight against the bullshit Massa was going to bring to the table. It's easier to resist on the streets when the president elect isn't promising to repress using the armed forces.

[vonlipvig]

my dad's driving and he's blasting the f1 theme song we're gonna crashhhhh

[dashinghealth]

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[oripeau]

This week in Nantes: n°636 | Unsafe at all, by Piotr Gryz ↦ POL

More → oripeau.art Submit → oripeau.art/submit Playlist → open.spotify.com/playlist/4R7PXexzD8ifWlzb7YiH76

This project is supported by jba.archi

[vivid-vices]

do you still go out for 2am eggrolls despite the ✨️difficulties✨️ ?

i've moved since then and am no longer a block away from the 2 am egg roll place. (very tragic, they were so fucking good.) but i do occasionally go grab a 2 am milkshake.

[enfinizatics]

dear americans,

as a polish queer woman and human rights activist, i know exactly how you're feeling right now and what to expect from these elections. i lived through the 2015-2023 regime of pis, a right-wing populist party that divided families in the same way trump did. i’ve experienced the rise of fascism in poland, the influence of far-right parties like konfederacja, and their “santa’s little helpers”—ordo iuris, an ultra-conservative catholic organization (banned in many countries, mind you) that helped enforce a near-total abortion ban and runs anti-queer campaigns in public spaces. i supported the black protests in 2016 as a middle schooler when they first tried to ban abortion. as an adult, i actively participated in the 2020 women’s strike, running from police tear gas daily after they finally passed the ban. i supported friends who faced charges.

i’ve lived through intense homophobia in poland as a queer teen and adult. i survived the first pride march in my hometown, where far-right extremists threw stones and glass at us. i endured the anti-queer propaganda spread by the ruling party in state-owned media. i survived the “rainbow night,” poland’s own stonewall moment in summer 2020, when police arrested around 50 queer activists following the arrest of margo, a nonbinary activist. i survived the "lgbt-free zones," the targeted violence, the slurs from strangers on the street, and the protests i held against queerphobia. it was hard as fuck, but i survived.

but just because i survived, it doesn’t mean others did. many women died because of the abortion ban—marta, justyna, izabela, dorota, joanna, maria, and many others who didn’t survive pis’s draconian anti-abortion laws. milo, kacper, michał, zuzia (she was 12), wiktor, and other queer and trans kids and young adults took their own lives because of the relentless queerphobia.

despite all of this, our experience in poland can serve as a guide now. here are some tips for staying safe and how we, polish queers and women, organized under the regime:

safety first, always. if you know someone who’s had an abortion, no you don’t. if you know someone is trans, no you don’t. if you know people who help with safe abortions, no you don’t—at least not until you know it’s 100% safe to share. if you are queer or have had an abortion, only share this with people you trust fully. most importantly, not everyone has to be an activist just because they’re part of a minority. if it feels unsafe to share that you're queer, trans, etc., then don’t. it doesn’t make you any less queer.

use secure, encrypted messaging like signal for conversations on potentially risky topics, such as queerness, abortion, organizing counter-actions, protests—anything that might be used against you.

stay anonymous online. if you want to research or report something without surveillance, do not use regular internet. get a vpn (mullvad is affordable and reliable), download the tor browser (for both onion and standard links), and if you plan to whistleblow, consider using a riseup email account.

organize and build networks. community is everything now. support each other, foster independence, because your government won’t have your back. set up collectives, grassroots movements. create lists of trusted professionals—lawyers, doctors, etc.—who can offer support.

to lawyers and doctors: please consider pro-bono work. this is what got us through poland’s hardest times. your work will be needed now more than ever.

for protests or risky actions: always write a pro-bono lawyer’s number on your arm with a permanent marker.

get to know the anarchist black cross federation and other resources on safety culture: "Starting an anarchist black cross group: A guide"; Still We Rise - A resource pack for transgender and non-gender conforming people in prison; Safe OUTside the system by the Audre Lorde Project;

for safe abortion info or involvement: get familiar with womenhelpwomen.

stay radical, stay strong, stay informed: The Anarchist Library

if i forgot to (or didn't) include something, don't hesitate to reblog this post with other resources.