#unparalleled reading experience

[htmlerror]

having put together that entire reading list.... midnighter is such a deeply weird character. it's like a car crash in slow motion. you think you've swerved out of the way and then you get rear-ended by 5 years of batman jokes and something so homophobic you wish you could go back to him getting called a faggot every few issues

[tediousmalcontentt]

So crazy how this whack asf scene actually invented sexual tension

[why-lamp]

i'm finally getting around to reading Killing Time by Della Van Hise.

you know, the Star Trek book that was so gay that it was recalled and reprinted with over 50 changes.

I got my hands on a first edition copy from Thriftbooks and decided to use a sticky tab every time something "spirk" happened

I'm only halfway through.

update its very fucking gay

[suttttton]

Writing lore-heavy fanfic for the robots series is so funny because Asimov literally just wrote down whatever thought came into his head and then never revised anything so pretty much every piece of the worldbuilding gets contradicted in some way. (Sometimes in the very same freaking book!)

So you either gotta accept that your fic is never gonna be fully canon compliant because CANON isn't canon compliant. Or you gotta get real creative with your Watsonian explanations.

For example:

On earth, there are solariums with glass ceilings at the top of the Cities that only the highest rating citizens get regular access to because real sunlight is treated as a luxury good. But also everyone on earth is so agoraphobic that the thought of being separated from the Outside by only a single wall is viscerally terrifying, and apartments at the very top of Cities are undesirable because of it.

(Watsonian explanation: There's a class divide where high-rating people who get regular opportunities to see the sun as children are less agoraphobic than low- and middle-rating people who very well could go their whole life without ever seeing the sky.)

(Side complaint because jfc Isaac 🙄: Elijah specifically says the top-level apartments are "low rent." But how can anything be "low rent" when Earth has a communist economy where every resource is assigned to you based on your rating??? No one is paying rent! No one has any money! [Anyway Watsonian explanation: Despite rent not existing for at least one full generation, and probably a lot longer than that, "low rent" is still a turn of phrase used to indicate low-quality housing assigned to people with low ratings. Maybe the medievalists brought it back idk.])

And then, of course, there's my favorite accidental retcon of all time:

Daneel has a built-in brainwave scanner that he can use to read humans' emotional states and receptivity to certain ideas. But only in the first book because Isaac forgor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Watsonian explanation: Dr. Fastolfe removed it between books 1 and 2. Maybe it's illegal on Aurora to have a robot like that. Or maybe having a quasi-psychic robot around was just really annoying for him idk)

[izzibeeb]

They should invent a staying up late that doesn’t make you tired the next day

[once-in-a-blue-moon-rising]

LOVE it for me that when I'm feeling sleepy and watching a silly Christmas film (A Christmas Prince [2017]) but start getting a little bit bored, I have the option to READ THE AU I MADE USING THE PLOT OF SAID FILM, just with my fave LCDP characters and my personal plot improvements adding in a bit of heisting and anti-monarchist sentiment (but keeping the kissing and lying)

it's great

(also if you want to read said AU it's right here on ao3!!! for free!!!)

[benevolenterrancy]

hm. started book 3. hm.

@fluffypurpleglitterdemon hey. hey. i just want to talk.

[potatosaresweet]

what the fuck did maggie stiefvater put in the raven cycle to make it feel the way it feels it's been years since i last read it but the experience was unparalleled

so many scenes felt like one of those dreams you try to recall the second you wake up but the details are already fading away, but the feeling of the dream is there and it has left you craving more

that's what the raven cycle feels like to me

[inafieldofstarflowers]

The Sunshine Court truly offers an unparalleled reading experience because you’re switching rapidly between being utterly devastated by Jean’s trauma & how little he understands about what it means to truly live and creating an unhinged conspiracy board with the scraps of information that slip out about Jeremy’s life to try to theorize what the fuck is going on with him

[wisesoultarot]

How will your future spouse make you feel about yourself?

Instagram | Tip Jar | Book a Reading with me now!!

🌷Image 1

Your future partner will envelop you in a warm embrace of respect, affection, and admiration, creating a safe haven where you can truly be yourself. They will celebrate your uniqueness and make you feel cherished in every moment, reminding you that you are deserving of love in all its forms. In their presence, your inner child will come alive, feeling liberated and joyful, as if the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders.

They will take the time to understand your emotional needs, offering support and encouragement that nurtures your spirit. With their unwavering belief in you, they will help you realize that your dreams of a fairy tale ending are not just fantasies, but beautiful possibilities waiting to unfold. Together, you will create a love story filled with laughter, adventure, and deep connection, where every day feels like a new chapter in a book you never want to end.

Their kindness and thoughtfulness will be a constant reminder that you are valued and appreciated, and they will inspire you to reach for the stars, knowing that you have someone by your side who believes in you wholeheartedly. How sweet it will be to share a life filled with love, joy, and endless possibilities! 🥺🩷

🌷Image 2

You and your future partner will share a profound and transformative connection, one that transcends the ordinary and resonates on a soul-deep level. It will feel as though you have known each other for lifetimes, as if you both belong to the same soul family, intricately woven together by shared experiences, values, and dreams. This bond will be a sanctuary, a safe haven where both of you can be your authentic selves without fear of judgment.

Their embrace will envelop you in a cocoon of warmth and comfort, creating a sense of belonging that is unparalleled in your life. In their arms, you will find solace and security, a refuge from the chaos of the outside world. It will be a place where you can let down your guard, allowing vulnerability to flourish and trust to deepen. This connection will be a source of strength, reminding you that you are never alone in your journey.

Being with them will invigorate your spirit, breathing new life into your days and igniting a passion for existence that dispels any lingering feelings of boredom or despair. Their laughter will be a melody that lifts your heart, and their presence will be a spark that ignites your creativity and enthusiasm for life. Together, you will embark on adventures that fill your days with joy and excitement, exploring new horizons and discovering the beauty in the mundane.

As you navigate life side by side, you will cultivate a vibrant bond that inspires you to embrace your true self. This relationship will encourage you to shed any masks you may have worn, allowing your genuine essence to shine through. You will feel empowered to pursue your dreams and aspirations, knowing that you have a partner who believes in you wholeheartedly. Their unwavering support will foster a strong belief in your own potential, encouraging you to reach for the stars and chase after your passions with renewed vigor.

Together, you will create a tapestry of shared experiences, filled with laughter, love, and growth. You will celebrate each other's victories and provide comfort during challenges, forging a partnership that is resilient and nurturing. This connection will not only enhance your individual lives but will also create a beautiful synergy that propels both of you toward your highest selves. In this union, you will find not just a partner, but a true companion on the journey of life, one who enriches your existence and inspires you to be the best version of yourself.

🌷Image 3

You might be an incredibly intuitive individual, perhaps even spiritual, psychic, or a medium, and you have a deep understanding of your own worth and values. Your self-love is already profound, rooted in a strong sense of identity and self-awareness. You are fully aware of how you feel about yourself, and no one can elevate your emotions to extraordinary heights because you recognize your own brilliance. This self-awareness acts as a shield, protecting you from the superficial validations that others might seek to offer. Your confidence radiates, and it’s this very energy that will attract your future partner.

As you embark on this journey of love, your future partner will undoubtedly pick up on this unique essence that you exude. They will be drawn to your authenticity and the way you carry yourself with grace and self-assuredness. What will they do? I sense that their romantic gestures will leave you breathless, as they possess a deeply romantic nature that resonates with your soul. They will surprise you with thoughtful acts of kindness, spontaneous adventures, and heartfelt expressions of affection that will make your heart flutter.

This partner will encourage you to explore your romantic side, gently nudging you to embrace the softer, more vulnerable aspects of love that you may not have fully appreciated in past relationships. They will create a safe space for you to express your desires and dreams, allowing you to open up in ways you never thought possible. No one before has truly shown you what love and romance can feel like, but with them, you will discover a new depth of connection that transcends the ordinary.

They will demonstrate that they are your perfect match, your one true love, by understanding your needs and desires on a profound level. Their ability to listen and respond to your emotional cues will make you feel seen and cherished. Together, you will embark on a journey filled with laughter, passion, and mutual respect, where both of you can grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple.

In this relationship, you will find a partner who not only appreciates your brilliance but also inspires you to shine even brighter. They will celebrate your achievements, support your dreams, and stand by you through life’s challenges. With them, love will feel like a beautiful dance, where both of you move in harmony, creating a rhythm that is uniquely yours. 🥰

[thatbadadvice]

Help! I'm A Private Person!

Neil Gaiman, Journal.NeilGaiman.com, 14 January 2025:

Over the past many months, I have watched the stories circulating the internet about me with horror and dismay. I’ve stayed quiet until now, both out of respect for the people who were sharing their stories and out of a desire not to draw even more attention to a lot of misinformation. I've always tried to be a private person, and felt increasingly that social media was the wrong place to talk about important personal matters. I've now reached the point where I feel that I should say something. As I read through this latest collection of accounts, there are moments I half-recognise and moments I don’t, descriptions of things that happened sitting beside things that emphatically did not happen. I’m far from a perfect person, but I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Ever.  I went back to read the messages I exchanged with the women around and following the occasions that have subsequently been reported as being abusive. These messages read now as they did when I received them – of two people enjoying entirely consensual sexual relationships and wanting to see one another again. At the time I was in those relationships, they seemed positive and happy on both sides. And I also realise, looking through them, years later, that I could have and should have done so much better. I was emotionally unavailable while being sexually available, self-focused and not as thoughtful as I could or should have been. I was obviously careless with people's hearts and feelings, and that's something that I really, deeply regret. It was selfish of me. I was caught up in my own story and I ignored other people's. I’ve spent some months now taking a long, hard look at who I have been and how I have made people feel.  Like most of us, I’m learning, and I'm trying to do the work needed, and I know that that's not an overnight process. I hope that with the help of good people, I'll continue to grow. I understand that not everyone will believe me or even care what I say but I’ll be doing the work anyway, for myself, my family and the people I love. I will be doing my very best to deserve their trust, as well as the trust of my readers. At the same time, as I reflect on my past – and as I re-review everything that actually happened as opposed to what is being alleged – I don't accept there was any abuse. To repeat, I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Some of the horrible stories now being told simply never happened, while others have been so distorted from what actually took place that they bear no relationship to reality. I am prepared to take responsibility for any missteps I made. I’m not willing to turn my back on the truth, and I can't accept being described as someone I am not, and cannot and will not admit to doing things I didn't do.

Dear Neil,

You, sir, are nothing other than fundamentally misunderstood — indicated in every sense by this, a smart and good post that you published on the whole-ass internet for literally the entire world to read.

The important thing is that you're learning! And you deserve infinite credit for that. Not nearly enough people appreciate how much you've learned about yourself in the course of ~ allegedly ~ committing sexual assault against multiple, probably crazy, women and the aftermath thereof. Less enlightened men would disregard the experiences of women who have highly specific and detailed accounts of being sexually abused, but you are open to the idea that the women who foolishly believe you assaulted them were simply mislead by your interminable charm! For which you cannot be held responsible! What a gift you are, friend; your generosity and open-mindedness are unparalleled.

Truly, whomst among us has not been where you find yourself now? Come, enjoy the company of friends who understand the brutal loneliness that results from being misunderstood by hysterical bitches who fail to appreciate the privilege of having your masterful fingers shoved up their asses without notice!

Again and again, women love men like you too much. They want you to be emotionally and sexually available! And that is just so, so much to ask. You have a lot going on! It's not a ding on them — of course they find you irresistible, being as you are an intellectual titan — and they may find themselves confused and intimidated by your sexual prowess, unaware that you exist in a world beyond pedestrian notions of consent. That is what makes your work so particularly meaningful and powerful.

You write about a man who does a bad thing, but you do the other good thing! You do a good thing, but in your work, a man does a bad thing! This is the stuff of sheer brilliance, capturing the sturm unt drang of the human condition — or, at least, of the humans whose conditions matter most, which is to say, men of your creative stature.

The sorry truth is that despite your best efforts, no one understands you, the author of 40-plus years of written work in which you had every fucking opportunity to emulate literally any character of your design who was not an unrepentant rapist. Whomst among us has not struggled with such quandaries? Whomst among us has not wondered: Should I rape women in the presence of my child, or should I just the fuck wait a minute and destroy my marriage by other means? Should I order a cinnamon bagel, or an egg sandwich? These are the questions men such as us must grapple with in a world where cancel culture has run rampant, and where people are liable to believe anything they hear from over half a dozen unbridled harpies (story idea! make sure Katee Robert doesn't see this, she seems like a bitch with designs) whose indeterminate fantasies have been aggressively fact-checked by risk-averse media legal departments.

You're right and everyone else is wrong, and that's exactly the take-away that everyone will have from reading this thing that you posted! Great work, great instincts, great writing. It's like Stardust, but hotter. You know what I mean.

A+ all around, no notes other than: you should share this with more people directly so they have the clearest possible idea of where you're coming from. Don't hold back, bud!

[deathbxnny]

Hey! May i request some abyss princess lumine, Skirk and Arlecchino x Jingliu! Reader? The reader used to be from the fallen nation of khaenriah, they were a legendary figure as they were known as the strongest swordman/swordswoman of all time. Their strengh and skilled with the blade could even rivals those of gods. However after the fall of their nation they were corrupted with the abyss. However it took a different effect on them, instead of rotting their flesh. It made them unhinged and unstable as they are ruthless and merciless. However they usually keep a blindfold as a way to surpress their bloodlust. However despite all of this they are kind and respectful until they are provoke.

I really loved writing this, Anon, so thank you for the requested and I hope you'll like this!<3

Content: Angst, mentions of death, reader is unhinged, can be read as either platonic or romantic, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not fully proofread))

》LUMINE

She pitied you, she really did. In a way, she even felt guilty and responsible for the state you were in. Lumine had met and seen you in your prime, back when you were revered as a powerful figure that reigned over battlefields with you sheer strength alone. And now, only a shell of that remains. A fragile one that's at risk of falling apart at any moment. It was tragic and yet another reminder as to why she was doing the things she did. It was important for her to prevail with her plans, if not just for you.

Your mental state was extremely unpredictable, something she learned to deal with over time. You were an even match, and that kept her bloodlust from attempting to kill her. For now, that is. She knows that she can never let her guard down around you, as much as she hates it. On most days, however, you simply calmly reminisce on a long gone past with her, perhaps out of necessity to hold onto something familiar.

Your relationship is filled with turbulent ups and downs that she always handles with ease. You may not be seeking a cure anymore to your deteriorating mental state, but she forever will look for one if it means to bring you back to your former glory.

》SKIRK

You knew each other. It's the first thing she claimed when meeting you, whilst you tried confirming it through a violent battle. It was a tie. And so, you began traveling through the Abyss together, wondering what it was that led your paths to cross. You apologized for your previous transgressions as well, something that piqued her interest greatly and hinted at your irreversible mental state.

She was careful with this fragility of yours and kept you away from the bloodlust by helping you train for it. It was natural to her to teach others, and surprisingly, you kindly accept her offer. Your condition may be incurable, but that doesn't mean that you don't understand the importance of discipline. You begin to learn that you two are strong-willed and very similar through it, a fact you enjoy deeply.

Once you open up about your past and your previous glorious life plagued by victorious battles and unparalleled power, you find yourself reflecting on Skirk's starting words to you. Was it perhaps the connection through the Abyss that made you familiar to one another? Or have you truly met before the fall of your home and nation? There was still so much to learn and experience at her side, that's for sure.

》ARLECCHINO

She has stern control over your chaotic state of mind. To some, this may be concerning, but to the both of you, this was a kind mercy. She helped you regulate the bloodlust and keep it away when it got unbearable. And you appreciated her deeply for it, especially as you knew each other for a long time.

Before your nation fell, she had heard and seen you in all your glory, fight against God's and mortals alike, making you a legend. Your stories had been lost to time by now, but that doesn't mean that she ever could forget them. You are a part of the home now, and the children are trained to deal with your unpredictability as well. They enjoy how kind and respectful you are and strive to be the same.

But alas, the pain and agony the curse had left you in made her secretly look for a cure. She was lucky not to be corroded by it in such a terrible way. And so she used her luck to help you out as well. She figured that she owed you at least that for sticking around with her here.

[thedemonofcat]

I've recently delved into the Witcher book series for the first time, and while I absolutely adore Jaskier and Geralt in the television adaptation, I must admit that their friendship reaches unparalleled heights in the books.

It's as if they both have this endearing perspective of each other, constantly thinking, "Behold this feral gremlin man I stumbled upon in the dumpster; I love him."

The genuine adoration between Dandelion and Geralt is an absolute delight to experience while reading. Their dynamic is filled with infectious joy and camaraderie, making it an incredibly enjoyable aspect of the story.

[evermoreness]

polyjuice incident | wolfstar

summary: sirius and james decide to do the ultimate prank, swapping bodies for a day. but things took a turn when remus confesses his feelings to the wrong person.

masterlist

Sirius Black leaned over the bubbling cauldron, eyes gleaming with mischief as the thick, murky potion swirled inside. James Potter stood beside him, arms crossed, skeptical but intrigued.

“You know,” James muttered, “every time you get that look on your face, I question my life choices.”

“Oh, come on, Prongs,” Sirius grinned, ladling a portion of Polyjuice Potion into two goblets. “This is genius. One day. Just one day as each other. Think of all the things we could do!”

James raised a brow. “And by ‘we,’ you mean ‘you.’”

Sirius scoffed. “Oh, come on, Potter. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“So let me get this straight,” James said, tilting the potion under the dim candlelight of the abandoned classroom. “You want us to drink this… abomination, swap faces for a day, and—what? See how long we can fool people?”

Sirius grinned. “Precisely.”

James huffed a laugh. “You just want to see if you can get away with hexing Snivellus under my name.”

“Not entirely untrue,” Sirius admitted. “But also, I want to know if I can make McGonagall like me if I act like you. And, of course, you get to experience what it’s like to be unbelievably attractive for once in your life.”

James snorted. “Right. Because I’ve always been dying to know what it’s like to have people either in love with me or terrified of me.”

Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “See? Educational experience.”

James sighed “Alright. Let’s do it.”

“Alright, mate. Moment of truth.” Sirius held out two vials of murky, bubbling liquid.

James smirked. “You sure about this? You do realize I’m about to become the most charming bloke at Hogwarts.”

“Correction,” Sirius said, tipping one vial toward James. “You’re about to become me, which means you’ll have the unmatchable humor, hair, and good looks of Sirius Black. You should be honored.”

James rolled his eyes. “And you’ll have the unparalleled genius of James Potter. Try not to ruin my reputation in one day, yeah?”

Sirius grinned. “No promises.”

They clinked vials and downed the Polyjuice Potion in one gulp. Instantly, their bodies twisted, bones stretched, and faces morphed. James felt his hair grow longer, his nose sharpen, and suddenly—he was staring at himself.

Sirius, now wearing James’s face, let out a bark of laughter. “Bloody hell, this is weird.”

“Merlin’s beard,” James muttered, running a hand through his new wind-swept, perfect hair. “You weren’t lying. Your hair does do that naturally.”

Sirius, meanwhile, had abandoned all sense of dignity and was poking at his glasses. “Prongs, how do you live like this? It’s blurry without these things.”

James rolled his—Sirius’s—eyes. “That’s why I wear them, you prat.”

Sirius put on the glasses, blinked, then smirked. “Oh, wow. You are uglier in HD.”

James punched him in the arm. “You are me right now, idiot.”

Then the real fun began. They strutted out of the empty classroom, each wearing the other’s face, already thinking up ways to abuse this new power. But, of course, things went sideways before lunch.

James had never realized how much Sirius acted around Remus. Because as soon as he bumped into him in the common room, things got... weird.

Remus was lounging on the couch, reading a book with his usual cup of tea. He glanced up when James (who looked like Sirius) dropped onto the couch beside him.

“Hey, Pads,” Remus murmured, taking a sip of his tea.

James froze. Pads. Yeah, that was him now.

He tried to relax, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. “Oh, hey, Moony,” he said, attempting his best Sirius impression—cool, charming, effortlessly flirty.

Remus smirked. “That’s new.”

James blinked. “What?”

“You usually say something dramatic, like ‘Ah, Moony, come to bask in my brilliance?’”

James internally cursed. He was being too normal.

“Oh. Well.” He cleared his throat and attempted to smirk like Sirius. “What can I say? I’m maturing.”

Remus smiled, clearly enjoying James’ discomfort. "Still want help with defense against the dark arts?"

James tried to be as nonchalant as possible "Uh, actually, no need"

"But you almost begged me to teach you last week" Remus said, brows furrowed.

Sirius had begged Remus to teach him? Since when? James remembered really clearly that Sirius knew the entire book of Defense Against the Dark Arts from back to back.

"It's because— I just remembered that..." James had to think, fast. "That Prongs actually taught me everything already!"

"James doesn't even pay attention to this class" Remus said, still confused. "He almost got detention for not doing any of the homework assigned in this class"

"Hey!" James remembered that day, but no need to shame him right now. "Prongs is a very intelligent guy, he just struggles a bit"

James was now far too close to Remus Lupin, who smelled like parchment and cinnamon, and was looking at him like—like—was Moony always this intense?

“You alright?” Remus asked, voice quieter now.

James swallowed. “Yeah! Yeah, just, uh—long day. Very Sirius day.” He winced.

Remus laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a disaster.”

James let out a breath. “You have no idea.”

Remus narrowed his eyes slightly, tilting his head. “You’re acting strange today.”

“Strange?” James forced a grin. “I’m always strange. That’s part of my charm.” He shot Remus his best attempt at a Sirius-esque smirk.

Remus huffed a laugh, closing his book. “Merlin, you’re unbearable. But I suppose that’s why I like you.”

James choked.

“I—I mean, who wouldn’t like me?” he stammered, trying to recover. “I’m charming. I have great hair. I—”

Remus suddenly leaned in, his voice dropping lower. “And modest too.”

James swore his soul left his body.

Was this how Remus and Sirius usually talked to each other? How was Sirius alive?

Remus leaned back, watching him. “Are you blushing?”

“No!” James said, very much blushing.

Remus grinned. “You are.”

James cleared his throat, desperate to change the subject. “Er—so, Moony, fancy any, uh, girls lately?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Girls?”

“Yeah. Y’know. The opposite sex.”

Remus stared at him for a long moment, then shook his head with a quiet laugh. “Merlin, what has gotten into you today?”

James panicked. “Nothing! Nothing’s gotten into me! I’m just—just making conversation!”

Remus’s eyes glinted with something unreadable. “No, it’s different.” He leaned in again, resting his chin on his hand. “You know, Sirius, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re nervous.”

James was dying inside.

“I’m not nervous,” he lied. “I’m never nervous.”

Remus smirked. “Alright, prove it.”

James gulped. “H-how?”

Remus’s smirk widened. “Kiss me.”

James nearly screamed.

He could practically hear Sirius’s voice in his head, shrieking in horror. This was not part of the plan.

“Wh—what?”

Remus leaned back, laughing at James’s obvious panic. “Relax, Pads. I was joking.”

James exhaled so hard he nearly passed out. “Right. Obviously. Ha. Ha.”

Remus tried not to smile. "You really seem a bit off today"

Oh, bollocks. James cleared his throat and leaned in, deciding to channel Sirius as best he could. “Maybe I’m just enchanted by your presence this morning, Moony.”

Remus blinked, looking slightly caught off guard. Then, to James’ horror, he smirked.

“Oh?” Remus said, setting his book aside. “That’s funny. Because I was thinking the same about you.”

James nearly choked. WHAT. NO. NO, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING.

“Oh,” he said weakly, because his brain was shutting down.

“Are you flirting with me, Sirius?”

James was dying. What was he supposed to do? If he didn’t flirt back, Remus would get suspicious. If he did, Sirius was going to murder him.

So, panicking, he gave Remus a wink and said, “Always, love.”

Remus’ smirk widened. "This is the Sirius I know"

Without warning, Remus just kissed him on the cheek, picked up his book and was already standing up. "Bye, Pads! See you at dinner"

James was screwed.

Sirius definitely would kill him.

Meanwhile...

Sirius, who was still giddy about successfully looking like James, had not anticipated being pulled aside by Remus.

“James, can I talk to you?”

Sirius blinked. “Uh, sure?”

Remus pulled him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind him. Sirius sat on a desk, pretending to be casual, but inside, he was panicking.

“So,” Remus said, running a hand through his hair, looking awkward. “I need to tell you something, and I don’t want you to be weird about it.”

Sirius squinted. “Okay…”

Remus took a deep breath. “It’s about Sirius.”

Sirius nearly fell off the desk. “What about him?”

Remus hesitated before finally blurting out, “I think I like him.”

WHAT.

Sirius barely managed to keep his face from exploding. He could feel heat rushing to his cheeks.

Remus misinterpreted his silence as disapproval. “Look, I know it’s probably stupid, and he’s probably not interested, but I can’t help it. He drives me mad. He’s cocky and annoying and—”

“—unreasonably attractive?” Sirius offered before he could stop himself.

Remus sighed dramatically. “Exactly!” Then he paused. “Wait, what?”

Sirius cleared his throat. “Uh. Nothing. Carry on.”

Remus huffed. “I just—I don’t know what to do, James. I feel like he flirts with everyone, but lately? He’s been... different. Almost like he actually means it.”

Sirius swallowed thickly.

James was flirting with Remus.

He was going to murder him.

Remus gave him a hopeful look. “What do you think I should do?”

Sirius felt like he was short-circuiting. On the one hand, he wanted to tell Remus, Yes, I like you too, I’ve liked you forever. But on the other hand—he was supposed to be James.

So, instead, he just sighed heavily and said, “Maybe you should tell him how you feel.”

Remus scoffed. “Yeah, right. And get laughed at?”

Sirius shook his head. “No. I think he’d—um—be surprised. But not in a bad way.”

Remus studied him. “You sure?”

Sirius forced himself to nod. “Yeah.”

Merlin, James was so dead.

Some time later...

It took less than two hours for Sirius (still looking like James) to find James (still looking like Sirius) and tackle him to the ground. Peter Pettigrew had heard all the conversation James had with Remus in the common room, and of course, told Sirius.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Sirius whisper-screamed, his hands fisting James’ shirt.

James wheezed. “Mate, you saw him! He started it!”

“You winked at him.”

“I panicked!”

“You called him love.”

“I. PANICKED.”

Sirius groaned, rolling off him. “I hate you so much right now.”

James sat up, panting. “Well, good news. Remus totally fancies you.”

Sirius groaned, flopping onto his bed, straight to his pillow. They were in their dorm, of course, Sirius thought it was a great place to murder his best friend if he needed to.

James smirked. “C’mon, Pads. Don’t be a coward.”

Sirius peeked out. “…You think he’d actually want me?”

James rolled his eyes. “He literally said to your face, idiot, when he thought you were me”

Sirius blinked.

“…Oh,” he said quietly.

James folded his arms. “Remus likes you. And unless he regularly goes around telling blokes he wants to snog them, I’d say he has it bad.”

Sirius stared at the ceiling, his mind still catching up to what James had just said.

Remus liked him.

Not just in a casual, friendly way. No, the absolute lunatic had gone and developed real, actual feelings for Sirius.

Sirius’s heart was hammering against his ribs.

James nudged him. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Sirius swallowed.

For years, he had convinced himself that his feelings for Remus were one-sided. That all their flirting was just banter, nothing more.

But now…

Now, he knew the truth.

And suddenly, the idea of doing nothing felt impossible.

James grinned. “You’re gonna kiss him, aren’t you?”

Sirius groaned, shoving him. “Shut up, Prongs.”

James laughed. “I’d hurry if I were you. He might try to kiss me next time.”

Sirius threw a pillow right into James' face

"Ow!" It really did hurt. James groaned, dramatizing. "Stop being so jealous, i like Evans, idiot"

“In the name of our dear Merlin, Prongs, if you so much as think about letting Remus kiss you, I will end you,” Sirius gave him a look.

James, still very much looking like Sirius, just cackled. “I am you, mate! If he kisses me, technically, he’s kissing you! Shouldn’t that be a dream come true?”

Sirius groaned. “I hate you. I hate everything about this. Why did we do this?”

James patted his back. “Because we’re idiots, Pads. Brilliant, beautiful idiots.”

“This is a nightmare. My worst nightmare.”

James sat up, stretching. “Well, unless you plan on hiding me in here for the rest of the day, I’m going to have to keep pretending to be you.”

Sirius bolted upright. “You cannot be trusted!”

James raised an eyebrow. “What choice do we have? The potion’s got, what, four more hours?”

Sirius grumbled, rubbing his temples. “Fine. But if he flirts with you again, do not encourage it. I don’t care if he backs you into a corner, if he sits on your lap, if he—”

“Wait, would he sit on my lap?” James asked, suddenly intrigued.

Sirius rolled his eyes, trying to change the subject. “Are you absolutely sure he likes me?”

James groaned. “For the last time, yes. He literally said, ‘I think I like Sirius.’ He said it to you, when he thought you were me. And, mate, you seen his face. He was serious—”

Sirius sat up, pointing a warning finger at James. “I swear on Merlin’s saggy underpants, if you make a joke about my name right now, I will hex you so badly your own mother won’t recognize you.”

James raised his hands in surrender, still grinning. “Fine, fine. But seriously—” (Sirius glared.) “—what are you going to do about it?”

Sirius flopped back onto his bed, groaning. “Die, probably.”

James threw a pillow at his face. “No, you absolute coward. You’re going to talk to him.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius muttered, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. “What if I ruin it?”

James scoffed. “Mate. You already flirt with him constantly. The only thing that’s gonna change is that you’ll mean it this time.”

Sirius thought about that.

And suddenly—annoyingly—his heart did this stupid little hopeful flutter.

Sirius groaned again, shoving a pillow over his face. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll talk to him.”

James clapped him on the back. “Atta boy.”

Sirius muttered, “If this goes horribly wrong, I’m hexing you first.”

James just smirked. “You’ll be too busy snogging Moony to hex anyone.”

Sirius threw the pillow at his head.

Keep going with the plan...

James barely lasted twenty minutes before Remus found him again.

This time, it was in the library, where James (as Sirius) had attempted to hide, hoping Remus would be too busy actually studying to seek him out.

He was wrong.

“There you are,” Remus said, dropping into the seat across from him. “I thought you’d be off terrorizing first-years or hexing Slytherins, but here you are, in the library of all places.”

James cleared his throat, forcing himself to lean back and smirk. “I happen to enjoy a bit of literature now and then, Moony.”

Remus snorted. “You mean smutty romance novels?”

“Hey, quality smutty romance novels.”

Remus grinned, resting his chin in his hand. “Alright, something is definitely wrong with you today.”

James tried to remain cool, but Remus’s sharp eyes were too much. He suddenly understood why Sirius was always a flustered disaster around him.

“Wrong?” James repeated, hoping he sounded casual. “Nope. Just my usual charming self.”

Remus hummed, tapping his fingers on the table. “You keep saying that. But your flirting is off.”

James nearly had a stroke. “What?”

“You’re usually more… effortless,” Remus mused. “But today, you seem—what’s the word? Flustered?”

James gulped. “Me? Flustered? Never.”

Remus’s lips twitched. Then, without warning, he reached across the table and trailed his fingers over James’s wrist.

James froze.

“So you wouldn’t mind,” Remus murmured, voice low, “if I did this?”

James’s brain exploded.

This was illegal. This was so illegal. Sirius was going to murder him.

But James had a job to do. He had to be Sirius. He had to act like this was normal.

So, summoning every ounce of willpower he had, James forced himself to smirk and say, “Course not, Moony. But if you want to hold my hand, you could just ask.”

Remus smirked right back. “I didn’t say I wanted to.”

James wanted to die.

“Tease,” he muttered, pulling his hand away.

Remus just chuckled. “Always.”

Meanwhile, Sirius—still trapped in James’s body—was losing his entire mind.

He had ditched his own attempt at hiding (which mostly consisted of sulking in the dormitory) and was now lurking around the library, peeking over bookshelves as he watched James flirt with his Moony.

“I hate him,” Sirius whispered furiously to himself, gripping the edge of a shelf.

“Who do you hate?”

Sirius jumped about a foot in the air, turning to see Peter staring at him in confusion.

“Prongs,” Sirius growled, realizing too late he was still wearing James’s face.

Peter blinked. “Er, aren’t you Prongs?”

Sirius groaned. “It’s a long, stupid story.” He turned back toward James and Remus. “I swear to Merlin, if he lets Remus kiss him—”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Wait. Remus might kiss you—I mean, him—I mean—?”

Sirius clamped a hand over Peter’s mouth. “Not another word, Wormtail.”

Peter made a muffled sound of agreement, and Sirius let him go just in time to see James standing up, stretching.

“I should go,” James was saying. “Y’know, places to be, people to impress—”

Remus grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back down. “Stay.”

Sirius almost fainted.

James, for his part, looked like he wanted to cry. “Er—okay?”

Remus tilted his head, studying him. Then, after a beat, he smirked. “You’re terrible at hiding things, you know.”

James gulped. “Hiding what?”

Remus leaned in slightly, voice barely above a whisper. “That you like me.”

James, for the hundredth time that day, nearly dropped dead on the spot.

Sirius whimpered.

Remus, appearing completely unbothered, just smiled knowingly and stood. “See you later, Pads.”

And then, just to make things worse, he winked.

James waited until Remus was out of earshot before turning in sheer horror to where Sirius was (badly) hiding behind a bookshelf.

“What do I do?” he mouthed.

Sirius just stared at him.

Then, very dramatically, he turned around, grabbed the book and slammed it in his head. This was a very traumatizing experience for Sirius, and he really wished to unsee it.

Sirius was spiraling.

James—in his body—had just been told by Remus Lupin that he knew Sirius liked him.

And worst of all? That bloody wink.

Sirius had always thought himself unshakable—cool, confident, devastatingly charming. But right now, he was gripping a bookshelf like it was the only thing keeping him from collapsing.

James was still staring at him in horror.

“Pads,” he hissed. “Pads!”

Sirius didn’t move.

“I think I’m going to die,” he whispered.

James groaned, marching over and grabbing his shoulders. “Get a bloody grip! We need a plan!”

Sirius snapped his head up, eyes wild. “A plan?! A PLAN?! The plan was to not flirt with Moony, and look how that turned out!”

James threw his hands up. “Mate, I didn’t try to flirt with him! He’s scary! I swear he can smell fear, and I was practically drenched in it!”

Well, yeah, Remus was a werewolf so this theory was not entirely false.

Sirius groaned, dragging his hands down his face—James’s face. “This is an actual nightmare.”

Peter, who had been standing quietly by the bookshelves, finally spoke. “Er… guys?”

“What?” Sirius and James snapped at the same time.

Peter pointed to the entrance of the library, where Remus had stopped just before leaving.

And now?

Now, he was walking back toward them.

James blanched. Sirius nearly screamed.

“Act normal!” Sirius whisper-shouted.

“I don’t know what normal is anymore!” James whisper-shouted back.

Remus was almost to them.

James did the only thing he could think of—he spun around, trying to look busy, grabbing the first book he could find and opening it.

Upside down.

Sirius, watching from behind him, whimpered.

“Hey,” Remus said casually as he approached.

James let out a noise that was somewhere between a squeak and a cough. “H-Hey, Moony.”

Sirius covered his face with both hands.

Remus’s gaze flicked to the upside-down book. “Good read?”

James looked down. Swore. Flipped the book over with a forced laugh. “Oh, y’know. Classic.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, then leaned over to glance at the title.

James followed his gaze.

Advanced Arithmancy Theories.

James nearly blacked out.

Remus grinned.

“You?” he asked. “Reading Arithmancy?”

James panicked. “Er—yeah! Big fan of…uh…numbers?”

Sirius gagged.

Remus crossed his arms, smirking. “Alright, what is going on with you today?”

James glanced at Sirius in desperation. Sirius shook his head violently.

“Nothing!” James blurted. “Just… having a weird day!”

Remus hummed, watching him carefully. Then, with the most infuriatingly amused expression, he said, “You know, I don’t mind this Sirius.”

James blinked. “This… Sirius?”

Remus smiled, tilting his head slightly. “The one that gets all flustered around me.”

James made a strangled noise.

Sirius, behind him, grabbed Peter’s arm in a death grip.

“I do not get flustered,” James tried to argue.

Remus’s smirk widened. “Mm. Sure.”

James could feel Sirius vibrating with suppressed rage behind him.

Remus leaned in slightly, eyes dancing. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re hiding something from me.”

James gulped. “M-Me? No! I don’t—why would you think that?”

Remus studied him for a moment, then gave a slow, knowing smile. “Alright, Padfoot. I’ll leave you be.”

James nearly melted in relief. “Right. Brilliant.”

Remus turned to leave, but before he walked away, he casually reached out—

—And brushed Sirius' long hair out of his face, well, James' face.

Sirius died.

James stiffened like a corpse.

Remus just chuckled and walked away.

The moment he was gone, Sirius grabbed James and shook him.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

James flailed. “I DON’T KNOW, HE’S A MENACE—”

Peter, who had been watching everything, whispered, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Sirius turned on him. “DON’T START, WORMTAIL.”

James, still reeling, exhaled sharply. “Well. You’re screwed, mate.”

Sirius groaned. “I know.”

“You have to talk to him. Properly.”

“I know.”

James nudged him. “And you have to tell him the truth. About your feelings.”

Sirius inhaled sharply. Exhaled. Then, begrudgingly—

“I know.”

The aftermath

The moment the Polyjuice Potion wore off, James let out a massive sigh of relief, rubbing his own face as if he had just escaped certain death.

Sirius, meanwhile, was pacing back and forth in their dormitory, running his hands through his own hair again. Thank Merlin. He felt like himself again.

“Okay,” James said, throwing himself onto his bed. “I’m free. My debt is paid. I am never pretending to be you again.”

“You think you’re relieved?” Sirius snapped, spinning to face him. “You didn’t have to watch yourself—me—getting bloody seduced by Moony.”

James snorted. “Seduced? That was barely anything, Pads.”

Sirius shot him a look so deadly it could have rivaled the Killing Curse.

Peter, sitting on his bed, shook his head in amazement. “Y’know, I still can’t believe Remus flirted with you that much.”

Sirius threw his hands up. His mind suddenly realizing. "Because he knew." He said in almost a whisper.

James and Peter blinked.

“What?” James said slowly.

Sirius groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “He knew it was you the whole bloody time! He had to! Moony is not an idiot!”

James sat up straighter. “You think?”

Peter looked between them, eyes widening. “Oh. Ohhhhhh.”

Sirius pointed aggressively at Peter. “Exactly.”

James considered this, then said, “Yeah, that actually makes way too much sense.”

Sirius flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “He did it on purpose. He wanted to humiliate us.”

James smirked. “Well, mission accomplished.”

Sirius groaned. “I hate him.”

Peter snorted. “No, you don’t.”

Sirius sighed, rolling onto his side. “I really, really don’t.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then James clapped his hands. “Right! So. Now that Moony clearly knows about your massive, embarrassing crush, what’s the plan?”

Sirius glared at him. “Plan?”

James leaned forward. “The plan, Pads. The confession. The I’m in love with you, Remus, please snog me senseless moment.”

Sirius made a choking noise.

Peter tilted his head. “Y’know, he did kinda make the first move. Multiple times.”

Sirius groaned. “That was him teasing. He wasn’t being serious.”

James smirked. “Well, maybe it’s time you were.”

Sirius sat up sharply. “You want me to tell Moony I like him?”

James nodded enthusiastically.

Peter nodded too. “Yeah, we’d really like to stop hearing you talk about it in your sleep.”

Sirius froze.

James grinned.

Peter, completely unbothered, continued, “Last week you sighed and whispered, ‘Moony, your eyes are like—’”

Sirius lunged at him. “SHUT UP, WORMTAIL.”

Peter cackled, dodging him.

James clapped his hands again. “Right. Enough stalling. Pads, you’re going to go find Moony, right now, and actually talk to him.”

Sirius hesitated. “What if he was just messing with us? What if he doesn’t—”

James grabbed his shoulders. “Sirius. Mate. He knows you like him. And he clearly likes you too. So get off your dramatic arse and do something about it.”

Sirius swallowed.

Then, without another word, he stood, inhaled deeply—

And walked out the door.

Moments later...

Remus was sitting by the fire in the common room, legs stretched out, a book in his lap, looking perfectly calm. Too calm. Like someone who had just set an elaborate trap and was waiting for it to be sprung.

Sirius stopped in front of him, heart pounding.

Remus didn’t even look up. “Oh, finally.”

Sirius blinked. “Finally?”

Remus turned a page in his book. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to grow a spine.”

Sirius gaped. “You knew.”

Remus finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Of course I knew.”

Sirius’s brain short-circuited.

Remus smirked. “I’m a werewolf, Sirius. You two could swap faces, voices, mannerisms, but you can’t swap scents.” He shrugged. “I knew the second James walked up to me pretending to be you.”

Sirius sputtered. “And you—you let him—you flirted with him!”

Remus leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand. “Oh, that?” He smiled sweetly. “That was just for fun.”

Sirius clutched his chest. “You’re evil.”

Remus smirked. “A little.”

Sirius groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Why do I like you so much?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You tell me.”

Sirius froze.

The fire crackled between them.

Remus’s smirk faded into something softer, something real.

“Sirius,” he said quietly. “Just say it.”

Sirius swallowed. Inhaled.

Then, voice steady, he said, “I like you.”

Remus’s eyes flickered with something unreadable. “How much?”

Sirius let out a breathless laugh. “Too much.”

Remus’s lips twitched. “Good.”

Then, slowly, finally, Remus reached for Sirius’s wrist, tugging him down until their faces were inches apart.

Sirius’s heart was hammering. “So, uh. What happens now?”

Remus smiled. “Well.” He tilted his head. “You could kiss me.”

Sirius barely had time to breathe before he did exactly that.

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

If you're considering snorkelling with orcas in Norway, please read this article first

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/25148486251319672?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3FV1YUYIkKXjFvRKQntdfnWgL8iOCZEMCNZ-CvWmp8BlvIh1a_cg4aYMU_aem_Psu0vb3dqr2ML5c0OzUAPw

"The opportunity to snorkel with orcas (killer whales) near the Norwegian Arctic town of Skjervøy is unparalleled globally, due to the absence of regulations prohibiting the activity, requiring licenses, or limiting the number of boats. Since 2017, the annual arrival of orcas and other large whale species in winter has been attracting increasing numbers of tourists, leading to crowding and sometimes risky situations at sea that are described as a ‘wild west’. Based on ethnographic fieldwork in Skjervøy across two winter seasons, the article first describes how whale watching emerged in this low-regulation context, and the consequences of the growing popularity of snorkelling activities. Second, it examines tourists’ self-reported responses to their snorkelling experiences, revealing that many people see encounters with wild orcas as a form of redemption or apology for the ways that humans have mistreated the species, particularly in captivity. The embodied experience of immersion in orcas’ Arctic habitat begins a process of recontextualisation, whereby a species understood to have suffered at human hands is imagined anew according to principles of freedom and autonomy. For other tourists, their awe at the opportunity to observe orcas up close is complicated by feelings of unease about their role in a sometimes-chaotic activity that can disturb the whales, shaped by the experience of sharing the sea space with numerous other tourists and boats. In the final section, the article suggests that these ‘ambivalent encounters’ undermine their hopes for a benign form of human-whale encounter, as the crowding creates an image of humans ‘chasing’ the whales."

What fascinates me about this article is the response of the participants in this unethical interaction with wild killer whales feel they have to "make amends" for orca captivity.

It's extremely egotistical to think that 1) you had any individual impact on the captivity industry 2) you could have changed the trajectory of an extremely lucrative capitalist venture and 3) that wild killer whales care about their counterparts in human care.

This very much reinforces my ongoing theory about how much the anti cap movement is centred around guilt and shame. As if "standing against" multi million dollar corportations actually do anything to improve welfare. And as if it's somehow a win to go and harass wild killer whales instead.

The idea that the wild killer whales "choose" to be there totally ignores that they actually have no choice when prey is centred around specific areas. They have to feed and they're already competing with fisheries for this food! Now let's dump a bunch of squirming, kicking and squealing humans on top of them so they can have an ~experience~.

Anyway this article is a fascinating example of how Blackfish and the anti cap movement have used guilt and shame to make people believe that wild cetacean interactions are always ethical and does not harm, when some of them objectively do.

[stevejobsbuysasamsung]

Why 'The Naked Time' says so much about Spock and Kirk's relationship

Okay y'all buckle up, because I'm 'bouta read too much into subtext and symbolism for my own good,,,

In saying that, I feel that this episode reveals so much about Spock and Kirk. It portrays their attitudes and feelings towards love, relationships, and... each other??!?!?!

The premise of this episode is that there is a disease transmitted through touch. It leads the victims the descend into a form of 'madness'. The disease's manifestation is related to the individual's inner psyche; Spock himself says it forces 'hidden personality traits ... to the surface'. This happens to Sulu, who starts to yield a fencing sword towards other crewpeople on the ship. Given his love for fencing, and that he is 'at heart a swashbuckler', the illness has responded to this. This is foreshadowed by the word 'naked' in the title: to mean bare, undisguised, as you are.

Christine Chapel soon becomes ill with this disease. She confesses her love for Spock and reaches out to touch his hands. Spock flinches at first but does not choose to resist as she continues. Significantly, she says she is in love with 'the human Mister Spock, the Vulcan Mister Spock.' Chapel finishes with, 'I do love you just as you are.'

Summarily, Spock becomes incapacitated in two ways; by the physical touch of Chapel, he has the illness; but also by the denigration of logic and surfacing of repressed emotions. I mean, why does Spock hold on to Chapel's fervourous touch and apologises to her profusely, multifold? By what logic would permit this? Surely no logic that abides by the teachings of his Vulcan upbringing.

Spock is visibly overwhelmed by the confession. That, not only is he loved, he is loved as a Vulcan and as a human - a dual identity that Spock struggles to live with.

Importantly, for Spock this disease reveals the unresolved tensions of these identities and the vigorous dedication he has to silencing his human side with Vulcan logic. Spock stumbles out, tearful, and plaintively cries that he is in control of his emotions. He grasps a computer of all things, the zenith of binary choices and answers, of perhaps Vulcan logic. Then, he assures himself that he is a science officer - a professional observer - an identity which would somehow negate the feelings he is experiencing. But even scientists, humans, and Vulcans can experience emotions, and this fact, coupled with the encumberment of this disease, causes Spock to unravel.

The height of this episode, for me, is when Kirk finds him. Through glassy windows of tears, Spock looks to Kirk and laments that he can never tell his mother that he loves her (because he is Vulcan). He then looks to Kirk and says, 'when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed'. The emotion that Spock is battling is not grief, anger, sadness, but, let's face it, love.

When they start slapping each other, they actually... tightly hold hands. To me, they're ferociously making out, full pash sesh, heaving petting.

And where, earlier, in a similar embrace, Spock found himself restricted by Chapel, Spock holds on to Kirk's hand for dear life.

This next bit seems like it runs unparallel to Spirk as a ship, but let me explain why it doesn't. Kirk contracts the disease from Spock, and also battles with the impossibility of love as the Ship's Captain. This love is dedicated to his yeoman. Immediately, it seems as if Spock has ... recovered? He switches off, begins to take control of the situation and the impending doom that would occur if they don't get power for something something sciency words something to do with engines. When Spock seeks Kirk in this state, it's as if he has responded to Kirk's lack of affection. The illness appears to recede.

Where this comes full circle is with the writing on the wall (literally). Spock observes, 'Love Mankind' on the wall.

This may relate to embracing his human side, and further his love for Kirk.

Kirk's writing on the wall? In the turbolift, upon finishing his comments about his love for his yeoman, is faced with:

What must Kirk repent for as a sinner? Can I be bold and say this might be about lying as a sin, perhaps?

Anyway. It is 1.30 am, I need to fight with the writers of this episode and I need to put my creative writing skills to use somewhere else, probably. I hope you enjoyed the mess that lives in my mind and my attempt to coherently collate what was a dozen voice messages sent to my best friends who are sleeping. I should probably sleep too...