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mrrcury · 5 months ago

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SEPERATION ANXIETY ☆

written by mercury ٩(ˊᗜˋ)و✰

childe x gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns used like, once, otherwise no pronouns used

cw : anxiety, (obvi) blood, genshin spoilers, violence, drowning

authors note : wrote this based off a brainrot i posted a long time ago. this gives major undertale vibes btw have fun reading

You heard it.

A large splash, it echoed throughout the great walls and cliffs of the Abyss. It ringed in you ears, and caught your attention immediately. Who wouldn't wanna check out something as mysterious as that, right? So like the little child you were, you left.

Footsteps crunched under the hard ground, as you observed your dark surroundings. You never exactly went to this part of the Abyss, as your mother told you it would not be worth it. But, curiosity killed the cat.

When you approached the lake that was inside the vastly cavern that you live in, you saw the water glimmering and rippling, as if freshly touched. All you had to do was look a teensy bit closer. Was that,

A human?

You were surprised, to say the least. Humans haven't dared to come down here for a while, at least quite rarely. You could see the boy falling deeper into the water, his bright ginger hair flowing in the water.

So you jumped in, grabbed his hand, and dragged him out with your abyssal claws that were the tiniest bigger then his.

He was a little bit lighter then you expected, and you could see all his features while pulling him up. You could see the star-like freckles that adorned his face, similar to the ones in the sky. When you got him back onto the land, he didn't seem to be breathing. Oh no. Did you have to do that one technique where you put your mouth on-

cough cough

Oh, nevermind, good!

You stared at him with big eyes as the boy hacked up water from his lungs. He looked up at you, eyes with a deep blue likened to that of Enkanomiya. They were intriguing, beautiful even.

"Wh-who are you? Where am I!" The young boy shrieked with terror. He didn't seem the happiest to be here. I mean, you wouldn't either. Maybe.

"Oh, I'm [Name.]"

"Also, you're in the Abyss." You muttered, with a hushed voice. He got up from the ground to where you were crouching. "The abyss?" He said quietly. You nodded.

"I don't really know how you ended up here, but good luck, you're not getting out."

"Wait, what?"

He looked at you again, you could see the fear in his eyes, his pupils just slightly shrinking.

"Yeah, this place don't let people out freely. You have to make it out. Prove yourself, basically."

You could see his body to slightly shake, tearing his eyes off of you to observe where he was at. You looked with him, taking another glance at the dark cliffs you've grown to be so familiar with. It was home to you, but a soon to be nightmare for the boy.

"How would I, y'know, prove myself?"

"Eh, you gotta fight for it. Ever fought a hilichurl before?" You looked at him again.

He shook his head with slight hesitance.

"Okay, let me show you how to do it."

☆

It's been about a week since you found the boy. You decided to introduce him to your mother, Skirk, as he couldn't exactly be left alone with no shelter in a place like this.

You figured out his name was Ajax a little after you met him. He told you with a smile on his face, and how he was named after a great hero.

Skirk was a lot harder on him then you were. To you, he was just a boy. You treated him like a friend, someone equal to you. After a bit, you genuinely started to care for him.

Skirk however, was stricter. She treated him a only a little meaner then you, however it was mostly when he was getting trained to fight by her. He did kind of have little to no experience in this field.

You taught him the basics to fight, how to wield a sword correctly, proper stances, basically enough to be able to fend yourself from a couple slimes or a hilichurl. Skirk taught the more advanced stuff.

When he was down here, he felt like a best friend to you. He told you stories about him and his father ice fishing, and his siblings too. He had a new one on the way at the time he came down here.

He talked about his family and Snezhnaya with stars in his eyes, it made you admire him.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask. What exactly are you? You don't look human, or really sound like it either" He said curiously.

"Im an Abyss Herald. In training, at least. I'm not fully grown yet."

"That sounds cool! Do you guys have magical powers or anything!"

"Ah, does abyssal magic count?"

"Yeah, yeah! Show me some!" He looked at you, about to burst with excitement.

You giggled, a toothy smile spreading across your face. "Okay, but i'm not showing you much."

"Awwh, why not?"

"You'll find out why later!" A smug look appeared on your face. He snickered in response.

☆

Its been a month, and you guys fucked up.

You ran around with Ajax a little too far around in the Abyss, and you ended up just entering a teensy bit too far into a beast's cavern. Both of you knew how to fight, but were no match for the beast you just had to have encountered:

This was a foreign feeling to you but, you were afraid. Afraid of what might happen to the both of you.

The two of you have opposing opinions on what you should do about this. You wanted to run, to just not get hurt and to get away, as you were smart enough to know you wouldn't be able to beat this monster.

However, Ajax had a different opinion. You noticed how the longer he's been here with you and Skirk, the more his, personality, has changed.

Just a month ago he was a timid boy, barely knew how to fight and only had a shortsword and a loaf of bread with him. Almost like a defenseless puppy.

But, now that he's gotten a point in training, he's become.. Violent, to say the least. Battle-hungry was a more accurate word for it.

He changed, and you knew it.

Back to the point, when you ran into this beast, Ajax acted recklessly. He pulled out his sword and charged head first into the beast while you tried to stop him. Clearly, his plan didn't work. He did get a couple of hits onto the beast, but in trade he was injured.

"Ajax!" You called out, arm stretched in failed attempt to stop him from killing the wretched beast. You knew this was a bad idea, yet you couldn't prevent it.

You heard that terrible scream, the one you dreaded ever since he became close to you. And you knew what you had to do.

☆

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Skirk scolded Ajax for the incident. For him just running straight in without any proper strategy or skill for the battle. She didn't let you off the hook either, as she was also angry at you for not stopping it.

Both of you were clearly ashamed of what happened back in the fight.

"Did you seriously think that was a good idea? You are only human, and [Name,] you know damn well better." Skirk hissed and seethed as she bandaged Ajax's wounds. Ajax looked at her, tight lipped.

Suprise to you, Ajax showed little to almost no remorse for charging into the fight. You could guess he didn't regret it, despite the gaping wound on his body. All you could tell was his deep, dark blue eyes, which no longer held so much light to them.

They used to sparkle, like that of the moon, shining above the rest. It was what you took note of the most.

But as of now, they lost their shine, slowly and carefully.

You wondered if they would ever shine again.

☆

It has been 3 months ever since you found the boy in the lake by the cliffs.

Ajax made significant progress in becoming a fighter, if you compared him now to the boy you first met, it was almost unbelievable, and impressive. However, you win some and ya lose some. With that fighting ability he gained, he also lost a part of him. A part that gave him humanity, you could say.

You wouldn't quite call it insanity, but that part of him changed and shifted, into something that wasn't really normal anymore. Something that almost scared you.

But, the time was coming. Ajax had to leave.

The long awaited day arrived, and as it seems, the Abyss has seen Ajax worthy of returning to the surface levels. He had a family to go back to, and even though you two made a great bond, you were filled with dread knowing this day would come. It made you upset.

Wait

what?

This has, really, never happened before.

You had never so much as been phased when friends of yours cane and went. Things worked differently in the Abyss, life was different. You couldn't expect people to stick around for too long.

So why were you affected by him?

Why were you affected by Ajax leaving?

He held a place in your heart, the memories you made together, how you and Skirk taught him his ability and even taught him a special tool, you called it Foul Legacy. A trick, which was used by you and your mother, you also gave to him.

But the only true thing you could do was wonder, on why a human teenage boy made you feel so much as even saddened by his leaving.

When the day came, you told him to follow the Northern Star, or Polaris. The star would lead him to the exit of the Abyss, should that it would let him leave.

But, you wont forget that looks in his eyes.

Ones that seemed to have lost their innocence, look at you with almost a sense of longing.

Or words that would ring in your head for the rest of your life.

"Ill see you again, [Name.] I love you."

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life-is-unreal · 4 months ago

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Stranger Danger~ {Genshin x reader} Teyvat Chapter 12 - The one and only Holy Lyre

*long chap

"Y/N! Y/N! Wakey wakeyyyyy!"

You groaned, pushing a certain fairy's head away. "Paimon, your hair is tickling me."

"We're going to meet up with Venti after dinner, you wanna go to Good Hunter's? Ooooh, Paimon loves their food!"

Abruptly opening your eyes, you shot up. "Dinner? It's night time already?"

Paimon crossed her arms, "Did you seriously sleep through the entire day? What were you doing when me and Aether were away?"

"Stuff. Yeahhh, let's go to Good Hunter's, I think I have enough money for a fried egg."

Aether popped his head in through the door. "Umm, are you sure? I can pay if you want?"

"Yeah! It's not healthy to just eat one egg for an ENTIRE day!" Paimon yelled, "Paimon would've eaten a hundred fried eggs if she could only eat eggs!"

"No seriously, I'm not hungry." You pushed Paimon out, "I'm gonna change, give me a minute girly pop."

The feeling of dread settled in your stomach when you read the clock, it had been over twelve hours and you, a gigantic foodie, still wasn't feeling hunger. "I would've eaten two burgers already." you grumbled, were you modified by the game? It would make sense since characters only needed to eat when they needed to heal or when they just felt like it. However, Paimon's words made sense for once. It wasn't normal. Would your body in Earth fail due to starvation and fatigue?

"I should probably eat..." You couldn't afford to return back to Earth and find that your body was already dead and you also couldn't afford Paimon or Aether noticing your weirdness.

"I thought you were only ordering for a Teyvat fried egg?" Paimon gaped at your third meal.

"I was joking." You cried silently inside, all your mora that you've earned by climbing walls and running around roofs were all gone. You were seriously considering to go to Leila and ask her to find you a job. "I need to finish the job quest quickly, Imma starve at this point..." you mumbled.

"Huh? You say something?" Paimon scratched her head.

"Must be your stomach rumbling. Go eat some more Paimon, you're a growing fairy you know." You pushed her towards Aether.

"Ooooh Aether! Can you get me another Mint Jelly? They're sooo goood."

"Paimon! That's your fifth Mint Jelly! We already have no mora for tomorrow!" Aether side eyed you.

Ignoring his eye daggers, you smile innocently, "But Aetherrrr , you could just pay up when you have enough mora..."

Sara who just happened to be passing by nodded, "Yes, we allow our customer to be in debt. They get to pay it on their next meal, however no more than ten thousand mora is allowed to be in debt. Should I write it up?"

Giggling, you stood up, "Aether, I'd be by the Cathedral. Toodles Paimon!"

-.-.-.

"Heeyyy Venti." You whispered next to his ear.

"Gahhhhh!" The boy yelped, choking on his dandelion wine. Venti wiped his mouth, glaring at you softly.

"You knew that I was there the whole time Mr Anemo Archon." You rolled your eyes, swiping a bottle of dandelion wine from his hand.

"I wasn't expecting you to whisper in my ear! Hey! That's my last unopened bottle!" Venti gaped at you as you guzzled half of the bottle down.

"Thank you, I will be keeping the entire bottle." You ignored his protests, the bottle disappearing in your hands as you placed it in your inventory. You didn't bother to put it in the infinite capacity bag from Skirk, Venti was a god. Why the fuck would he bother asking?

"So uhhh, how did you find out?" Venti giggled nervously, taking a cautious sip of dandelion wine.

You snorted. "Mr Anemo Archon, there is a big ass statue of you right in front of us. I don't know how your citizens don't notice but it's quite obvious that you are you."

Venti leaned closer, his turquoise eyes sparking in amusement, "And you never doubted that I purposefully made it so that no one would recognize me?"

You shrugged, "Why would I doubt it? You're Barbatos. You do whatever shit you want and that includes casting random voodoo shit, oh, and stealing your own lyre."

The god snickered hysterically, "Voodoo? Of course not. Why would I ever cast Voodoo? However, I must say that I'm quite surprised that you noticed immediately. The power of my spells are quite strong. As for the lyre..." He hummed quietly.

"Blub."

"What the fuck. Didn't I put you in the closet?" Your eyes went wide as Bob landed in front of you.

"He was in your hair the whole time. Did you not notice?" Venti raised your eyes.

"What the- Nevermind." You glared at the little cryo slime. "Next time. Stay put."

"Blub." Bob's eyes turned teary, little icicles dropping on the stone floor.

"What- Hey. Hey! Don't cry! Bob!" You cradled the little cryo slime in your arms.

Venti stared at the two of you in confusion. Were slimes supposed to act like this? But ever since you and Aether's little group had been sighted, things had been getting weirder and weirder. Not to mention his occasional forgetfulness and moments when his memories get blurrier and blurrier.

The bard raised his brows as he noticed two jarring figures in the distance. He sighed, finishing his bottle of wine, the glass bottle crumbling under his touch before turning into gusts of wind.

Unaware to him, you were staring at him the whole time so the glass bottle literally folding into itself like some origami made you make a mental note on not to piss Venti off.

Bitch is definitely not the weakest Archon. If he is, I'm doomed.

"So... 'The Holy Lyre der Himmel' is..." Paimon waved at you before turning back to Venti.

Venti crossed his arms, "One of the most treasured items in Mondstadt. It's the lyre that Barbatos used to play."

You coughed, hiding the uncontrollable smirk that was creeping up your face.

Aether looked at you weirdly, he was still salty on you leaving him in Good Hunter and making him pay for the bill. Gosh, Paimon's five mint jellies, three honey roasts and two chicken skewers would be his nightmare.

"With it, perhaps I can help Dvalin draw his gentle nature back out of this nightmare he's going through."

"Will it really stop Stormterror from causing more damage?" Paimon raised her brows, ohhh, she was soooo suspicious of this green bard. She was going to give him an ugly nickname.

Venti puffed his chest out, "Of course! I'm the best bard in the world. There's not a single song I do not know, no matter if it's from the past, present or future."

Gee, wonder why...

"Look me in the eyes, do you not find me trustworthy?"

We met for a few days mate. If Aether wasn't Aether he wouldn't have bothered with anything.

"...Just what is that in your eyes!?"

"Soooo how we gonna get it?"

"Why do you think we're here Paimon?" You ruffled her hair. Goddd it was sooo fluffy. Were you jealous? Yes.

"It's in the Cathedral?"

"Aether, please don't tell me you're turning into Paimon."

"HEY!"

Venti coughed, "I'll go take a look around, you can come if you want."

You rolled your eyes, "Hurry up. I'll be waiting outside." Pushing the doors open, you threw the three of them in. You weren't going to embarrass yourself or get second hand embarrassment. No. Just no.

It didn't take long for the trio to emerge again. Around five minutes? Maybe three minutes.

"Y/N! That bard want's us to steal the lyre. STEAL IT!" Paimon hissed in your ear.

You snickered softly, "Paimonn, it's fine. You're going to do a lot more abnormal stuff." The last part was whispered.

"So uhhh, we're going to wait for some time before sneaking back in." Aether pulled Paimon back.

The time function should work now right?

"Wait a second Aether." You rushed off, pulling your phone out, you tapped the glitchy Genshin App. Or the creepy Gen shit as you call it.

"Timmmee function. Ok, fast forward for two hours..."

Suddenly, you were yanked backwards by an unknown force. "Holy-"

Holy shit indeed. You, Y/N L/N, was looking at yourself, from a third person view.

You watched, mouth agape as the 'you' started to talk with Aether and the five of you started going around the city as Venti gave you guys a little tour. Since everything was happening double the speed, you had no idea what they were saying nor the details of the little tour.

"Yo Y/N. You there?" Paimon crossed her arms. "You're blanking out again."

Your eyes gradually focused, a surge of memories attacking your brain. It was all the events that had happened the past two hours. They were all very vague, as if you had actually been there.

A dark thought flitted across your mind, what if there's someone who could control time out there? People would be acting the same and no one would notice it. Except the unfortunate person would have to watch themselves do random stuff from a third perspective and then get attacked by memories depending on the time. It's almost like someone's possessing you but that someone is 'you'.

And if someone managed to control time on someone that wasn't themselves, could it be possible that they could watch their entire life or even worse possess someone else's life? Ohhh, and if they had the ability to wipe away memories...

"Y/NNNN!!!!" Paimon screeched. "Are you even listening to me?!" Paimon could feel her eyes twitching, she called you for a million times and you were just standing there like a statue.

"My bad. We're going to rob it now right?" You petted her head.

Paimon sniffed snidely, "Duuuhh. They're already inside, Paimon's only out here waiting for you because you're Paimon's friend."

"Awwww. That's actually so sweet." Paimon reminded you of a certain annoying pinkette that was actually pretty sweet if you ignore her arrogance.

"Let's head inside." She avoided your eyes, dragging you into the Cathedral.

"Don't be shy. Go." Venti beckoned the three (four if Bob on your head is considered) of you towards the basement.

"Why's there so many fucking stairs." You grumbled, you thanked mihoyo for not implementing the flights of stairs that it took to enter the basement, you counted up to a hundred and twenty before giving up. Basements were not meant to be this deep.

"We're here." Aether whispered.

"Let's separate. We have too many people. That's a big target." You whispered back, "Imma go that way. Bye bye."

Why's there so many guards? It seemed like half of the city's knights were all crowded in the basement. And yet there's barely anyone on the outside...

"Who're you!"

Oh well, they're there. You hurried to the chamber holding the Holy Lyre der Himmel.

A cicin mage stood there, she placed a finger to her lips.

"Sshhhhhh."

And with a bright flash of purple, she was gone.

"She...disappeared?!"

You heard footsteps. "Aether, on my mark."

"Freee! What are you doing here?"

"Go!"

Earning a few startled gasps, the three of you managed to escape the cathedral with ease. Probably not the best decision to only have knights in the basement.

"Venti! We're busted! Run!" Paimon screamed as the stampede of footsteps started to get louder and louder.

"What? Follow me!"

With a wave of his hands, wind currents appeared. A wing glider appeared and he zoomed off.

"Y/N. You don't have a wind glider..." Aether yelled.

"I can fly if I want to. It's fine, I know where he's going!" Wind currents, unfortunately didn't work on anything that wasn't a wind glider but it didn't matter. You didn't go to the bar just for drinks yesterday. You found several routes and knew where people were scarce.

"Why walk when you can fly?" you muttered as the knights finally got out of the cathedral.

You snickered as one of them noticed you. "B-byeeee!" You jumped down from the railings, directing a gust of wind to catch you right before you were going to fall to your death. Your health stats were still pretty low due to zero artifacts equipped.

"You- You're here before us?" Aether panted. You and Venti were already in front of the tavern. "When you were away, I walked around."

Venti glanced at you suspiciously, he definitely didn't say that he was going to go to Angel's Share but he didn't bother asking.

"Master Diluc, this is the account's for this week."

"Hmmm, the disaster has greatly affected business." a monotone voice made your eyes light up.

"Bitch is stunnninggg." Truth be told, Genshin's designers fucked up realll bad when the Diluc in game and this Diluc looked sooo different.

There was this urge to just poke his gorgeous face and mess up his floofy hair.

"Hi, we'd like a seat at your, uh...least conspicuous table."

"Umm...The second floor has fewer customers. You'd be less conspicuous up there...But aren't you a bard? Why not sit front and center?" Diluc frowned slightly.

"Hahaha, let's save the paid performance for next time. We'll be heading up now, see you in a bit!"

"Hey, keep an eye on them. There's something strange about that bard. I'll go ask around." Diluc's eyes never left from your little group.

"Ask who, exactly?" Charles asked.

"The 'protectors' of Mondstadt."

Diluc noticed the girl from the group stopping at a crowded table when one of the guys waved at her.

"Oh! Master Diluc, that girl came yesterday. Not that the information is valuable." Charles mentioned.

"Ah, Master Diluc. Have you seen three thieves around?"

You and Aether gazed down from the second floor when Otto and Miles approached the man.

"What happened? Why have you mobilized so many guards?"

"Haven't you heard, Master Diluc? Two thieves were trying to steal the Holy Lyre!"

Diluc frowned slightly, he could feel the gazes from other customers in the tavern. "Oh? How odd."

"Isn't it? The holy lyre is a treasure that was played by the God of Anemo themselves. Such a precious piece of cultural heritage-" Miles was cut off by Diluc.

"Why would one want to steal something they can't sell off? Would pay better to steal from my cellars..."

"..."

"Huh?"

Diluc waved his hand, "Sorry, off topic. Believe they headed that way."

"Understood. Thank you, Master Diluc!"

After the knights left, the four of you headed down. "Today I think I'll have a glass of..."

"You can put down that bottle you stole from behind the counter."

"...something cold."

Diluc raised his brows.

"Right. I want answers."

Blahblahblahblab. You were considering to go to a certain group of people who were eavesdropping on the conversation.

You were cued the moment you lifted your foot. "Hot shot? So you two and the bard are close friends?"

"We're not close, actually."

Diluc nodded slightly, "Well...Despite only being passing travelers, you still offered your help to Mondstadt in its time of need." his eyes narrowed slightly, "A shame you joined the Knights."

"Nah, we did not." You shook your head firmly.

"You did not." Aether corrected you.

"Yeah. You, are helping out of the goodness of your heart. I'm helping for mora and rewards. Me and the Knights have a fat grudge." You scowled.

"Wait...So they actually threw you into prison?"

Diluc coughed, "So you were that person who they thought was a fatui spy."

"The Knights of Favonius...Inefficient right from beginning to end. And towards the Fatui? Weak and conservative. Forget it. I don't feel like talking about it."

"Imma agree with him on this one. It's pretty much just the vision holders doing their work. There are some good non vision holder knights that are good but most of them are just doing their own thing. Like those three bitches that landed me in fucking prison because of my clothes." You snarled.

"Seems the two of you don't really like the Knights of Favonius." Venti commented.

"Try going to prison man."

"Just differences in approach is all. I have my own hopes for this city." You raised your thumb.

The security of Mondstadt was basically from: One, Jean and the vision holder knights. Two, Diluc the Darknight Hero. Three, other vision holders like Diona and Sucrose. Four, adventurers and good Knights. Five, Knights that barely do shit. Six, civilians and shitty Knights.

"Now, answers. Why did you steal the Holy Lyre?"

Ok this shit gonna take a long while.

"Aether, Imma go talk to some people. Bye."

With that, you plopped your ass next to Leila.

"Wowwww, when I meant get yourself a job. I did not mean steal the Holy Lyre." The blonde looked at Diluc before focusing on you.

"Someone else stole it though. The fatui to be exact." You accepted the glass of dandelion wine. Quite refreshing after all those stairs and running.

"Fatui? Lemme guess, a cicin mage." Jace downed a shot of vodka.

"How'd you guess?"

"Being a treasure hoarder means that we have to fight off any beings that wish to steal treasure that we've stolen. Some fatui fight us when they're low on mora and let me tell you. Loads of treasure hoarders die when they're up against them. The cicin mages and the burly ones are especially annoying. The cicin mages just teleport and teleport. I almost died to one a few years ago. I would prefer fighting other treasure hoarders."

"Other treasure hoarders?"

"Oh yeaahhh. You might not know but there's gangs. Probably not the official name but some gangs are allies, some gangs are rivals. Me and Jace are with different groups but we're allies and we're also pretty high up in terms of ranking. Normal treasure hoarders have no breaks. They're basically like servants and meat shields. Gotta work your way up or you'll die by blocking a blow." Leila clasped her hands together.

"Y/N, you should go. Your lil friend group's leaving. Remember to find us to get a better job." Raye shooed you away.

"It's not my job-"

"Yeah yeah. Shoo."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teyvat Chapter 13:

https://www.tumblr.com/life-is-unreal/760038607699542016/stranger-danger-genshin-x-reader-teyvat-chapter?source=share

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serenexdreams · 3 years ago

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LIGHT | YAN! CHILDE X SKIRK! READER

TW: SUICIDE, KIDNAPPING

Pt. 1

IN TEYVAT, pure living beings never died; they simply returned to the earth, bodies shattering into glass fragments of gold, and lead by the winds to Celestia.

But when the 'filth' of the earth passed, their bodies crumbled to ash; absorbed by the soil of the earth and deposited in the abyss, where the gatekeeper disposed of them. Those who fell were to never return or see the light of day.

Known as the gatekeeper and the one who cleaned up the abyss, you, Skirk, took pity upon a little boy who had accidentally fallen into the darkness. When he finally returned to the world above, you never expected to see him again; however, to your surprise, he returns--with the intent of bringing you back with him, even if it meant resorting to force.

~~~~~~

HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

How long has it been since you've seen light?

YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Letting out an exasperated sigh, you brought the hilt of your blade down, effortlessly shredding the dark shapes lunging at you, to pieces. Celestia's voice rang through your head, the image of the sustainer flashing through your head.

"Skirk--forgotten shadow star, the former holy sword. I bring orders from Celestia, whomst wish for you to take control of the unending abyss of monsters."

As the millennia began to quickly fade and mash together, time was no longer of essence to you. Roughly calculating, one month equated to one day in the world beyond the abyss. Your former comrades, acquaintances, and companions were no longer with you; all of them had perished from the archon war or eroded with time.

And you could sense that your end was dawning upon you. The once sharp edge of the divine blade you wielded with a forgotten passion, had become dull. Your vision faded to ash; your once glimmering, gold pupils a dull grey. There was neither anything to see nor a need to, after all. Nothing could escape or enter the abyss, nowadays; not even a ray of sunshine from the world above. Celestia made sure of that; after all, garbage should stay in the dumpster.

Plunging your blade into the last of the unruly monsters, you wavered for a moment--before feeling exhaustion take its toll on you. There was no sense of time in the abyss; only darkness. You slept when you were tired, and woke when there was trouble. That was it.

You thrummed your calloused fingers against the worn, makeshift wooden fences surrounding a small, dusty cabin. Placing your hand against the crudely carved lock, you fumbled for a moment--before the door flicked open with a gentle click. Within the cabin, were the bare necessities; a cot, a desk, a chair, and a small fire pit for cooking. A stack of books and a quill remained untouched, gathering dust on the surface of the desk. Unfinished paintings had been carelessly tossed around the room, brilliant splashes of vibrant colour delicately stroked onto the canvases.

All of which had gone to waste, after you lost your sight.

Pushing your thoughts aside, you let out a weary yawn, instinctively falling onto your cot. Beneath the mattress was a spare; that hadn't been used for god-knows how long. It had been centuries since you last had a visitor--though, in the world above, it may have just been a mere few decades.

Your thoughts trickled into an endless stream of water, before you quickly placed a dam over them. Memories of the warm sunshine, billowing grass, and puffy white clouds washed over your mind; long forgotten views, that were faraway from you.

Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to be engulfed in the world of distant, ethereal dreams; in hopes that you would never wake up again, and be forced to face the harsh reality of the abyss.

GOLD SUNSHINE poured from the sky, washing over you. You blinked in surprise before you closed your eyes; relishing the moment. Leaning back against the trunk of a Yumemiru tree, the fragrance of cherry blossoms swirled around the scenery.

Your eyes gleefully drunk in the sight of the azure sky. The smell of fragrant jasmine tea hit your senses, as the sound of laughter whisked around you. A fragile smile curled across your lips. It was your favourite dream.

"Skirk--what are you waiting for? Drink up, you lost the bet." A playful, yet gentle voice interrupted your thoughts, as you blinked in surprise, blearily turning to face an old friend.

"Yes, I know, Makoto." You retorted, eyes glossing over with tears. It had to be at least a millennia since you had last seen your friend. Next to her, Furuyama airily hummed a soft tune as he brewed more tea. You took a sip of the hot, tingling liquid, warming you from head to toe. The sound of idle chatter struck a nostalgic chord within you, as you quietly absorbed the moment.

Perhaps this was a parting gift from Celestia--to thank you for your hard work, and allow you to pass away in a forgotten dream of the past. Nevertheless, you were grateful. Placing the cup of tea down, you gently pushed your hands together, sending a silent prayer to the sustainer of heavenly principles. It was your time to go.

Strength fading away, you watched as the tips of your fingers began to disintegrate to chalk, and the remainder of your divine power slowly departed from you. The world around you remained stagnant, as Makoto and Kitsune Saiguu remained unaware, excitedly chatting away about everyday topics; the latest trends, Celestia, etc.

Relief coursed through your veins. If there was one thing you regretted, perhaps...

Perhaps it was not being able to see that child--the one you had rescued from being mauled to death by monsters, after falling into the abyss. Bits and pieces of information had floated downwards; that the Tsaritsa had taken him in, that he had become of the Harbingers--news that had greatly disturbed you. The last thing you hoped for, was to see the child in the abyss once more--as an evil being, cast down instead of being led to Celestia's golden gates.

Suddenly, you were engulfed in darkness. Like a mirror, the enchanting dream before you cracked and shattered into shards of glass, scattered away. Your vision darkened, the once dazzling dream chipping away to a distant memory once more. Frustration and confusion began to well up within you, as a scream of anger erupted from your throat, tearing through the dark abyss.

"REALLY? YOU JUST HAD TO RUIN IT, DIDN'T YOU?" Fury coursed through your veins. Had you not done enough for Celestia? Were you not loyal enough? You had obeyed their every word, cleaned up their messes, controlled the abyss; now, you wanted a release.

If they weren't going to let you go, you would do it yourself. You closed your eyes, summoning a blade, before plunging it towards your chest.

Suddenly, a tight, unwavering grip interrupted your attempt, a hand wrapping around your wrist. "Let go." You angrily clenched your teeth, hackles raised and baring your teach. Adrenaline rushed to your head, as you turned it, the image of the sustainer's disappointed and infuriated face flashing through your memories.

Dull, cerulean eyes met your unresponsive grey ones, slowly absorbing your appearance. A soft cry of relief rumbled through the assailant's throat, before they drew closer, as your mind swirled with confusion.

Childe's eyes lit up with unadulterated joy, as his other arm snaked its way around your waist, clutching you closer. A mop of coppery, ginger hair buried itself into your neck, grip still unyielding, tight on your wrist. "Master Y/N...is it really you?" He trembled, voice shaking with insanity.

-----------------------------

aaaaaaaaaaaand cut! sorry if that was a bit confusing, here's a short summary.

reader is skirk, the god of the abyss, and the one who controls the realm of the dead--though, you do not have absolute control over it. you are merely a guard, or a pawn, stationed by Celestia to watch over the abyss, where the souls of the ones they deem 'evil,' go to after death.

one day, when ajax accidentally fell into the abyss, through a portal ripped open and unattended to by the rifthounds, you took pity upon him, before deciding to teach him how to survive. after he managed to escape, you slowly began to lose your vision, due to unknown reasons--sucking the little joy out of your life simultaneously

lmk if you want a part 2! <3

#yandere childe #childe #genshin imapct #yandere genshin x reader #abyss #skirk #serenexdreams #yandere #kidnapping

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haitaniapologist · 2 years ago

Text

YOU DIDN'T TEACH ME HOW TO FORGET YOU. ( childe x reader, part two )

╰┈➤ you never thought your lover was hiding something so cruel from you.

pairings — childe / tartaglia x fem!reader.

warnings — reader is a ragnvindr (not specified whether adopted or not, so it's up to you), reader have an anemo vision, reader and childe are 20, kaeya is older than diluc (personal headcanon of mine lmao), lumine is the traveler, HEAVY ANGST with some small amounts of fluff, yandereish behavior, possessiveness, a battle, injuries and scar mentions, violence, suggestiveness and smut descriptions.

word count — 8.5k

notes — phew, this was a long ride!!! don't worry, there will be a part three coming soon to your dash and more genshin fics from me too !!!!

find part one here.

if anybody told you what would transpire when you agreed to go to liyue with the traveler and paimon, you would’ve laughed on their faces without a second thought.

seeing ajax again had always been a fever dream — sometimes you thought he was a fever dream, but the lost pair of your mother’s earring was the reminder that he existed in your past. in your memories, once, but now he was here, and you were with him. you could feel his warmth beneath your palms, feel his breath in your neck whenever his arms held you while you prepared breakfast, you could look at his eyes and memorize every shade of blue present on his orbs to never forget again. you could hear his voice whispering soothing words in your ear every night before sleep, hear his melodic and boyish laugh and be infected by it, following in with your own happy sounds.

but, just like his vision, he was just water reflecting your own face — it didn’t matter how much you tried to reach, you never could reach him. the ajax you met when you were only eight, the little boy who helped you find your family. you understand that boy had already been killed by life just like the little girl you were once was when crepus ragnvindr died in your brother’s arms, but you still saw that boy when ajax was ajax.

it was fitting for someone with two names to be two different persons.

childe and ajax were two different persons, even though they were the same. childe was charming and arrogant, reckless and confident in his abilities. you liked that version of him, with his confident smile and smooth words — it made him look like the knight in shining armor of the stories your mother used to read for you, and childe always managed to make you flustered and sigh like a young girl in love. but you preferred ajax, the side of him that only came out when you two were in the confines of his house, skin to skin, breathless whispers of declarations of love and desperate kisses. he was there when your head was on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while his hands were drawing circles on your skin, lips open to tell you about what happened in the years you two were away from each other.

you learned how childe was born in a night like that, when ajax told you what happened when he was fourteen.

your heart hurt and bled for him, hearing him tell how he fell into the abyss and was rescued and trained by a swordswoman named skirk, while his hands played with your hair while the moonlight hit the both of you — he didn’t tell you much about what happened in the three months he spent there, but you could imagine how tourtours it was for a fourteen-year-old child. it was the same age when your brother rose to be a captain in the knights of favonius, and you remembered how much he changed after that. it wasn’t the best comparison, but it was what you could relate to. he also told you how his father wanted him to join the fatui, as a way to tame his actions, but ajax wanted to conquer the world by himself, without the help of any organization.

but the fatui recruited him, nonetheless, making him work at their bank as some kind of mercenary, always ready to attack those with unpaid debts. he didn’t mind, he told you, as he loved the thrill of battles and that was an excuse to train to become stronger and stronger and achieved his dream of conquering the world and be an adventurer — but you could feel that something was wrong, but you couldn’t pinpoint what, and didn’t want to bring more sad memories of his to surface. ajax was glad you weren’t looking at his eyes, because he knew you would be able to see the guilty reflection of them, see the outline of the lies leaving his lips. but he needed you at his side, even though for a short amount of time. he was ready for the day when his lies would be discovered, his heart already healed of the heartbreaking he would go through when you started hating him.

it was what he deserved.

that night, too, he heard about how you gained your vision.

it hurt to see how open and sincere you were with him while he built lies above little truths, but his heart felt even more heavy knowing how much his peers affected your life. you told him how you left your home, worried about the lateness of your father and brother, only to find your father nowhere to be seen, while both of your brothers were fighting, ice against fire and your heart shattering for your family. you tried to scream and stop the fight, but nothing seemed to work — only when the wind in all mondstadt stopped and it seemed to be commanded by you. you only wanted to make them stop, but your wind was also what broke them apart and took kaeya away from home, and what took diluc on his mission to uncover his and yours father’s death.

it was a delusion what killed him, you told ajax, even though he knew everything about crepus ragnvindr’s death — he didn’t mean to pry in dottore’s papers, but what he could do when he saw your father’s name there? he still couldn’t understand why killing him was important, but his heart broke when he read number two’s reports. your name was there, signaling your relationship with the target and your new vision and, when your brother’s name became a discussed matter between his harbingers colleagues, he tried to stay away from it as much as he could.

you finished your story with your arms tightening around him, afraid that he could disappear just like your father once did — and he brought your face closer to his, kissing the tears away and whispering sweet words of comfort. it was all that he could do, already knowing that someday you would need such a comfort again but because of his actions. but he didn’t want you between another man’s arms. you were his and would always be, even if it was just an illusion, even if it was just the ghost of a memory like you always had been.

what would he do when you finally discovered the truth?

—

you almost did, once, and he was sure you knew by the second time.

the first time was when you and zhongli met.

childe wasn’t happy to take you to meet another man. not that he didn’t believe in your love for him, but he knew how beautiful and charming you were — and zhongli was handsome and charming too, and maybe he was insecure and afraid that, for some perverse reasons, you would see that the older man was a better match for you. he was so lost in his own thoughts and scenarios, that he never thought about warning zhongli to not say a word about his involvement with the fatui. however, they still need to meet, and ajax couldn’t leave you alone at his house.

he didn’t know when you were going to leave him, and he needed to make his time with you as best as possible.

but he couldn’t help and feel a sense of pride when strolling with you through liyue harbor’s streets, all the eyes, from the elderly to the youth, eyeing you two. of course, you made a beautiful couple — both you and ajax were young and strong, and in love. everyone could see the feeling intertwined with every single one of your actions. from the side eyes, to the touches and to the words, love surrounded you and childe like a shield.

however, he wasn’t sure if he liked the look on zhongli’s face.

he couldn’t decipher it and, while you introduced yourself to his acquaintance, he tried to not dwell much on it. “y/n ragnvindr, it’s a pleasure to meet you, mr. zhongli. childe speaks highly of you.” sometimes zhongli appeared in the anecdotes he told while your head was resting on his chest and his hands playing with your hair, just like the night you both shared your biggest secrets. he tried not to get into details that could speed up the inevitable end of your relationship, but the giggles and curious sounds that escaped your lips whenever he told you about his day always made him tell more than he was intended to.

“ragnvindr?” the curious tone on zhongli’s voice made your eyebrows raise and your head to tilt slightly to the side, which made childe’s chest to rumble with a chuckle. “you are, perhaps, the heiress of the dawn winery?”

you giggled, and ajax needed to fight the ugly green monster of jealousy. though, your giggles for him were more sweet and genuine, sounds that could rival columbina’s singing. “i’m, indeed! my older brother, diluc, is the current head of your family and i’m his heir.” you answered, exciting shining in your eyes. even though he was jealous, childe loved seeing you like that, too — talking and interacting with others. “have you ever drank dandelion wine, mr. zhongli?” it was a question you always asked when meeting new people, ajax came to learn. it was cute and endearing, how you cared that much for your family’s legacy.

he, on the other hand, couldn’t ask people if they ever had fished on ice.

“of course. i have some acquaintances back in mondstadt, lady ragnvindr.”

the chat progressed to your hometown, a place where young ajax always dreamed to conquer first, just to see you again. though, as much as zhongli was entertaining you, business were always business, and his attention slowly changed to childe — he tried to explain as much a he could the transactions without giving this true identity away, but zhongli almost spilled about his position as the eleventh harbinger.

“i hope your harbingers colleagues will find this business as formidable as i did, childe.”

he bid farewell to you two, and childe noticed that you were a bit more distant in the way back home, his eyes widening for a fraction of seconds when realization hit him of how you interpreted zhongli’s words.

“y/n, my beloved.” he made you both stop under the moonlight, placing your hand over his heart. “why aren’t you smiling at me? are you having doubts about my words because of what zhongli said?” you should. you really should have, because ajax was nothing but a liar. he watched as you averted your eyes to his chest, your cheeks rosy and lips forming a pout.

“no… i just… i would never forgive you if you lied to me, ajax.”

too bad, wasn’t it? your words resonated inside him while he kissed you and held you against his chest, soothing and reassuring words leaving his lips as if his heart wasn’t being eaten inside out by guilt.

—

the second time was even more dangerous.

it was on a warm night, when lumine and paimon were already back from their journey to search for the adepti to prove their innocence, now helping zhongli to the rite of parting. you tried to be of help, too, but both lumine and zhongli said they were fine without help, so your hopes of having a daily adventure were crushed by gentle hands. you resorted to your normal life in liyue, helping citizens and exploring nearby areas — sometimes, now, with paimon and the traveler as your companions — and then waited for ajax at home, wondering what he had planned for you two.

however, he was late. later than he ever was, the stars already in the sky and your heart hurting from worrying about him.

whenever he knew he was going to be late, he always sent a messenger to meet you, normally one of the kids playing near the sea, to inform you of what was happening in his job and what were his plans. but no child approached you during the day, and you now found yourself at the familiarity of his house, a place that you grew to be comfortable with, that now had the same sense of home the hard walls of dawn winery had. you were restless, of course, and when the moon started to shine on the bed you shared with your lover, you knew you had to do something.

your feet led you to the northland bank, yet your heart beat with both fear and excitement with the thought of entering a fatui lair.

it was a place you knew that you were never supposed to go in, but you remembered it. your father always climbed up the red stairs that led to the bank, even though, at the time, neither you nor your brothers knew what it was. your father only told you three he had business with the men inside the place, and never in your wildest dreams you would think it was a fatui bank — and you couldn’t understand why your father needed them. the winery and the tavern were enough to make your family rich, as you knew from helping diluc with some paperwork.

maybe it was power he wanted. you couldn’t blame your father for it, as a man without a vision in teyvat needed other ways to assert dominance over his peers, and maybe the fatui were the ones who could give him what he wanted. but the same power he wanted was the power that took his life, according to diluc’s and kaeya’s testimony. a device that pretended to be a vision was what your father used to kill a deadly monster to save your brother, even though diluc was one of the most skillful swordsmen you ever knew.

fathers would always be fathers, it seemed.

just like snezhnaya, the northland bank was cold, and you could feel it from the outside, even though liyue was hotter than mondstadt, a fact that you enjoyed pretty much. however, the goosebumps weren’t because of the chilly air — you were nervous. it was dead in the night and nobody was in the street, probably inside their homes enjoying a warm meal with their family. the fatui guard eyed you from head to toe and, even though your heart was imitating a drum’s beat from how quickly it beat, all the etiquette’s lessons you had in your childhood were playing their part. you knew how to hold your head high, high enough that no question was asked before the guard opened the door, just a nod that made your earring tingle in your ear.

maybe he recognized it. only one person in teyvat had the other pair.

you stood in the middle of the room, eyes scanning the architecture of it. you weren’t well versed in snezhnayan culture — maybe for the lack of it in the books of your home, due to the closeness of the region, or because your father was too afraid his children to know his obscure business — but the inside of the northland bank was mesmerizing. though you couldn’t appreciate much of it before someone was clearing their throat in front of you, a smile too sweet adorned a woman’s face. she wore a fatui uniform, her eyes hidden due to her mask, and you assumed her to be the bank’s receptionist.

“may i help you, ma’am?” you smiled back, all the years of etiquette lessons making you polite even to your enemies.

“yes, of course.” you answered in a neutral voice, your eyes fixed on her form — too fixed on her to notice another figure approaching you two. “i’m looking for childe. we live together, you see, and he hasn’t returned yet.” you didn’t try to say the word worried, but you were sure the receptionist understood your motives. the smile on her face became even sweeter, which made your gut to shrink.

“oh, master childe just returned from a mi—”

“is this tartaglia’s little pet?” if you found the receptionist's sweet smile to be unpleasant, just that feminine voice brought despair to your bones. the woman before you seemed to freeze to, and you turned your head siglithy to the side, being met by a vision of a fatui woman — and, by the way she walked and talked, and judging by the receptionist reaction, she was probably a harbinger, or someone with a high rank. you tried to smile at her, maintaining the façade of lady ragnvindr for a little while.

“i wouldn’t say pet, ma’am.” you tried to reason, turning your body towards her. “lover should be more appropriate for what we are.”

her eyes were as icy as her voice, and, if you were not mistaken, she had the same characteristics as the woman who attacked lumine and venti a while ago back in mondstadt — she was, indeed, a fatui. probably la signora, if you weren’t mistaken. however, you were there to retrieve childe to yours and his home, even though the name she called him brought more questions to your heart than it should have.

“a pet from mondstadt, on top of that.” you had to slightly lift your neck to be able to meet her eyes due to her new proximity, noticing that the receptionist was nowhere to be seen now, hopefully going to notice childe of your arrival. the smirk on her face was a bit frightening, blood-curdling even, but she was just a woman — like yourself. she could be more powerful than you were, of course, but you still had some chances with your vision and sword training from your youth. “tell me, how is that bard faring?” at the mention of venti, you gritted your teeth, hand ready to summon your polearm, wind tickling in your fingers, the power that celestia granted you burning through your veins. you didn’t understand what were the motives of the fatui to attack him, but he was special and a target for them. “don’t even try it, foolish girl. i wonder what he’ll do if i kill you, hm?”

before you could react, she had your jaw between her cold hands, pointy nails digging holes in the soft flesh of your cheeks, blade pressed to your neck and warm blood coming from a small scratch — only superficial, but a warning. however, as soon as she started to press her blade deep in your flesh, you heard his voice.

“let her go, signora.” ajax was there, bloodied and injured, the receptionist trailing behind him. she gave you a worried look while your lover walked to where you were, his voice imposing and commanding, a tone you never heard coming from his mouth before. it made you wonder if he was only just a civilian working in the bank, but you were fearing more for your life now than for the questions in your heart — though you hoped signora couldn’t see the fear you were feeling reflecting in your eyes, but instead the stupid bravery every ragnvindr possessed in their hearts.

she scoffed. “what are you going to do, childe?” even though she was complaining, she took the blade from your neck, her pure strength making you fall to the ground when she let you go from her hold — maybe it was the position you were always supposed to be in. you weren’t diluc and would never be. what was in your head to think you were able to go against a fatui harbinger?

you put a hand over your chest, feeling it rising and falling with your breaths, tears glossing your vision — you needed to calm yourself, because you were alive. ajax would never let anything happen to you, you knew that, of course you did. but what if he hadn’t arrived in time? you would die without the proper goodbyes to your family, without seeing him once more, just like your father.

too focused in trying to calm your erratic heart, you failed to notice the interaction between the two fatui in front of you.

signora had a hand on tartaglia’s shoulder, her lips a few inches away from his ear, as if she was telling a secret to your lover. but anybody in the room could hear her words. “end the ragnvindr pet, tartaglia. do with her what dottore did with her father, and what pierro should’ve ordered one of us to do with her brother.”

ajax didn’t even wait for her to end her words before he was rushing towards your form, his strong arms and warmth enveloping you, his hand bringing your head to rest on his chest. you were alive, alive and well, and he couldn’t ask for anything more. when he saw rosalyne with her blade on your neck he feared the worst, and he was ready to kill her if she did anything to you. “i’m going to kill her, i’m going to kill her for you, don’t worry. she’ll never touch you again.” he whispered in your hair, his lips pressing kisses and murmuring words of comfort until you stopped shaking between his arms.

you took one of his hands to rest on your chest and he felt tears glossing his vision when he felt your heartbeat between his fingertips, your forehead now resting against his and your warm breath tickling his cheeks. “i’m alright, ajax. i’m alright.”

you both knew it was a lie.

—

you didn’t remember how you arrived at home.

you were doing everything on automatic, allowing him to guide through the harbor’s streets, his big coat over your shoulders to hide your injury, the now cold air of the lowest hours of the night still making your nose and cheeks cold. you couldn’t think of anything else but what happened, of how foolish you were — maybe diluc was right. maybe you weren’t supposed to ever leave dawn winery, the world outside of it too dangerous for you to survive alone. but you weren’t alone and, for the second time, ajax was the one who saved you.

when your consciousness returned to you, you were sitting at your and his bed, ajax towering over you with a wet cloth cleaning your neck. signora hadn’t injured you that badly, just a superficial cut on your skin, the bleeding had already stopped, but it had stained your skin and ajax couldn’t support seeing you like that. you were hurt because of him, because he didn’t remember to fetch some of the kids to send you a small note, or even go himself to where you were to tell you he was going to arrive late. his own injuries were now numb, and he couldn’t care about his wellbeing.

as soon as he was finished, he sat at your side, his hand enveloping your own, his thumb feeling your pulse — an indication that you were alive. “i’m sorry.” you blurted out, voice small as if you were a little child again, asking forgiveness for your father after you had cut diluc’s hair with a pair of scissors after he had screamed at you.

“you’re alive, my beloved, and that’s what matters to me.” he kissed your knuckles, the words tickling your skin as if they were small needles made especially to hurt you. you knew, now, that ajax was part of the fatui and a harbinger, too. but it was an elephant in the room that you didn’t want to talk about, that loomed over the two of you, doomed to end the beautiful relationship you two had.

but not now.

you started to unbutton his shirt, frowning at the winces leaving his lips due to the pain of his own cuts and hematomas. how could you have been so blind? all the scars he wore like a champion, all the training he did, all the prestige he had at the bank — it was obvious that your ajax wasn’t just a civilian who hunted down debtors, and you should’ve known that. but love was blind, and you were sure the love archon especially blinded your eyes to all the signs of his lies and the non liveliness of his blue orbs.

after all, he was one of her most loyal subjects.

you took the damp cloth from where he left it and started to clean his skin, fingers tracing amorously the white lines over his pale skin, feeling the skin tighten with the soft ministrations of your fingertips, kissing the freckles of his shoulders. his back was now facing you, his chest already cleaned of any dry blood, but a new scar adorned his back — big and now as the same color of the wine produced in your family’s winery, another scar to his collection. “i’m going to kill whoever did this to you.” you murmured against the skin of his neck, your hands around his shoulders and face hide on the crook of his neck. his whole body vibrated with a chuckle, a sound that was both mocking you and encouraging you.

how could you kill something that managed to hurt a harbinger when you couldn’t even defeat one?

and you didn’t even know who you would kill. the one who gave him the new scar or the one who made his eyes so lifeless, so different from the ones you remembered from your childhood?

you kissed his neck before getting up to get bandages to his injuries, watching his face. would that be the last time you ever saw him, now that you knew the truth? not everything he was hiding from you, but the most crucial parts. would tartaglia let you live now, or would you meet your end in the hands of the one you loved the most? you were sure you were now an enemy of the fatui, just like your brother was — however, would any connection your father once had with them be able to save you of whatever insult you committed against signora?

the questions in your mind made your hand work slower, but ajax couldn’t care. he knew the time with you was now limited, and he would make sure that you left liyue as soon as you could — he couldn’t bear the idea of you dying by his sword, or any sword, and, if saving you meant becoming an enemy of one of his colleagues, he would gladly accepted what fate had estoraged for him. you finished tending to his wounds and he sighed, his strong arms bring you closer to his chest. you nuzzled at his bare skin like a kitten, and he tightened his hold around you, afraid that you could disappear in the air just with the first sound of his voice.

but he needed to try.

“i love you.” he felt like the same ajax he was before he fell into the abyss, the same ajax his father was afraid was too weak for the world outside the family’s cottage. his voice was small and quiet, so unlike him but, at the same time, so endearing too. he waited for your protests, harsh words and screams — but all he received was kisses and tender words, and he couldn’t believe how unfair he was to you. he should’ve told you the truth as soon as you told him about your father, but the fear of losing you clouded his better judgment and mind. now, he would lose the best part of himself by his own fault.

“i love you, too.” you whispered against his lips, your hands holding his face while his were placed on your waist, both of your bodies so close to each other as if you were just one.

that night, you never felt ajax so desperate.

he had always been feverish for your touch and your body, ever since you gave yourself fully to him. he always enjoyed having his face buried between your thighs or between your breasts, especially when he seemed to have a hard day at work — before, you thought he had to collect the debts from either dangerous or vulnerable people, but know you knew it was the work of a harbinger the culprit of his feelings. or was the guilt consuming him? you didn’t care then and you couldn’t even care now, not when he drew moan after moan from you, when he made you feel so full of his seed that you never wanted to be separated from him ever again.

that night, too, he held you tighter than usual, afraid that you would leave him in the middle of the night. his kiss, something you were so used to before bed, now was suffocating, as if you were under a column of hydro vision, just like his own.

even though you wanted nothing more than to return to your home in the winery, the air inside his house was too suffocating because it smelled like him, you couldn’t. your love for him was what kept you caged between his arms, like the deadliest curse the tsaritsa herself picked especially for you.

—

ajax drowned himself in his work, and you couldn’t blame him.

he was too kind to ask you to go away, you thought. or he loved you too much, or he enjoyed the way you still spoiled him. he always had a package of lunch waiting for him when he left before the sun rose, and he had a plate of dinner waiting for him whenever he arrived when the moon was high in the sky. sometimes, you would wake up to ajax fingers caressing your skin, his arms loose around your form. you would always scoot closer to him, trying to enjoy the warmth you were being denied by the circumstances of your situation on a daily basis.

you wrote to diluc, once, telling him about your journeys and the fact that you would return home sooner than expected. you said nothing about what happened, because it was clear that your brother would know something happened as soon as he looked in your eyes when you returned.

your only solace was your newfound friendship with zhongli, and lumine’s and paimon’s presence during the day.

they all knew something had happened you and childe, denounced by paimon’s question as soon as you appeared in front of them without the familiar glint of happiness your eyes had and the smile adorning your lips — but zhongli, being the gentleman you discovered him to be, changed the subject as soon as your eyes started to shine with tears. he knew, of course he knew. even the traveler and her flying companion knew about childe’s involvement with the fatui, and you wondered how blind you were.

but zhongli always managed to take your mind out of it whenever you started to dwell in your thoughts, always asking about mondstadt — you came to know, in one of your strolls in the harbor with him, that he and a well-known bard in your brother’s tavern were acquaintances, and he managed to coax a laugh out of your lips in the expanse of venti, the sound now strange and bitter in your mouth.

however, not even the bit of normalcy and happiness that zhongli gave you was enough to keep you glued to liyue, and you wished to leave it as soon as possible. lumine and paimon were aware of your decision and, even though they were sad to see you go and the thought of traveling the continent together was crushed, they still understood.

“paimon will make him feel the wrath… the wrath of the paimon, y/n! don’t worry!” it was the last words you heard from her, lumine at her side with a sorrowful expression on her face — though her eyes were understanding. you were sure you would meet them again, or even send letters whenever you could. they were your friends, after all.

but it seemed that fate wanted to play with you, as the day you chose to return home was the day an ancient god was unleashed over the harbor.

you sighed, watching the once clear skies now a dark shade of gray, the faint sound of crashing waves now much closer than normal — childe’s house was closer to the bank, in the more lively part of the city — but that wouldn’t stop you. you needed to leave before ajax arrived and saw your leaving form, a letter being what would explain to him what was in your mind. you knew that, at the first pleading that could leave his mouth, your resolve would break and you would stay.

and you couldn’t.

you looked back once more, watching the door of the house that you called home for almost two months. it was strange, how quickly things could change, and how much something could affect you. the fact that ajax was a fatui, let alone a harbinger, wasn’t even a problem anymore — by the calculations you did in your head, he wasn’t in the organization when your father was killed by them, and, if he was, he didn’t have anything to do with it — but the lie was. you kind understood where he was coming from, but what else he was hiding from you? what else would he hide from you if you decided to forgive him?

you needed some time to think, and that time won’t be fruitful if you were in his presence.

a small smile formed in your lips and you turned around once more, eyes down and itching with tears glossing your vision. the pain in your chest was worse than any other heartbreak you ever experienced in your life — death was always sad, yes, especially unexpected ones, but it was easier to come to terms with such a situation than the one you were going through now. grieving a dead loved one was far easier than mourning one that was well and alive, with their heart beating and chest rising and failing with each breath they took.

ajax would always be a part of you, but now, perhaps, a part of you that would never be yours again.

“y/n? where… where are you going?”

you closed your eyes, fighting the urge to look back at him. if you did, you knew you would run straight to his arms.

“home.” that was what you could muster to answer him. “i left a letter for you explaining my—”

“your home is here.” he cut you, a coldness in his voice that you were sure could rival the snowstorms of his homeland. “your home is here, with me.” it was, once. but now you weren’t so sure if it had been, or if it would be again.

“my brothers need me.” you need them, too. you needed to feel the safety and the comfort the company of kaeya and diluc brought you, the warmth of diluc’s arms holding you safely between them and the easy laughter that kaeya always managed to coax from you since your father welcomed him in the family. you needed to be in a place where you knew who the people walking besides you were, and not to think everyone was an enemy.

“and what about me, y/n?”

nothing could ever prepare you for the hurt that laced his voice, though it felt more like a whip in your bare flesh, wounding it to the point of no return. you took a deep breath, turning your body to look at him — he deserved a proper goodbye. his eyes looked even more lifeless now, the small glint of shine it used to have on it whenever you were around was long gone now. “ajax…” you didn’t know what to say, only wanting to leave liyue harbor as soon as you could.

but, taking another glance at his appearance, you couldn’t help but worry about him. it seemed that he was freshly out of a battle — though you didn’t have a good feeling about who he was fighting — and you suspect he wanted to arrive home and find your waiting arms to soothe him. “don’t go. don’t leave me, please.” he wasn’t one to beg, but he didn’t know what to do to keep you at his side anymore. childe took an hesitant step towards you, heart clenching when he watched you taking another one back.

that wouldn’t end well. the remnants of the foul legacy were still running through his blood, making him angry at you for reacting that way. ajax was protecting you from your own foolishness — as soon as rosalyne knew you were not within his protection anymore, she’d lay her claws over you and take your life. and he couldn’t lose you, he couldn’t. why weren't you seeing that? why you wanted to leave him, like you did all these years ago, running straight to your father’s arms without looking back at him?

was he not enough for you? would he ever be enough for you?

before he could think better, his dual blades were already being summoned, the scared look on your face only fueling his anger. it was an ugly feeling, boiling and burning inside his chest. however, on the outside, all you could see was your beloved ajax with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, his brows furrowed and his blades on his hands.

you weren’t a fool. you had angered him, and even though fighting with him was a foolish decision — he was a harbinger of the tsaritsa, after all — you wouldn’t be able to escape such a fate. dropping your bags to the ground and deep a deep breath, you soon felt the weight of your polearm in your hand, the weapon that diluc gifted you after you received your vision and physical training was required. jean was the one who trained you all those years ago, and you couldn’t be more grateful for her now.

“i love you.” you whispered before indulging in his desires, anemo and hydro vision shining on your bodies.

“i love you, too.”

—

the sound of polearm against sword wasn’t a strange thing for you, but anybody could see how less experienced than your opponent was. childe was used to dueling with his enemies more than you, a girl who was sheltered her whole life by both father and brother, who only received training because of a vision earned when she saw herself faced with more despair than she ever felt. his experience was shown in the way he moved gracefully, how his swords seemed to be at home between his fingers — unlike your polearm, that still felt strange whenever you wield it.

you tried not to think too much, focusing on the teachings jean passed down to you.

keep your head clear, just trust your body and everything will be fine.

however, those words weren’t helping you. you couldn’t help and not feel the gut-wrenching feeling of sadness that had installed in your chest when you noticed he would never let you go alive, your thoughts clouding your best judgment. you couldn’t hurt him, the idea of being the one to give him another scar to his collection making you sick — though, it didn’t seem like ajax shared your thoughts. you already had a cut on your cheek that you knew it would scar, and more wounds all over your body that you were sure none of your brothers ever had received being knights. him, on the other hand, just had a bit of blood coming down from the side of his face, and you didn’t know if it was the consequences of his other battle or caused by you.

you cried when you felt one of his swords cutting your flesh, anemo elemental energy throwing him away from you. “ajax, please, stop.” you tried to plead, hand traveling down to press on your thigh to try to apply pressure to your new wound.

but the adrenaline of the battle was still running on his blood, and his hand was in your neck in no time, pushing your body until it hit the nearest wall, your feet some centimeters away from the ground.

you start to trash around in his touch, hands unsuccessfully trying to get yourself free from his hold. was he really going to choke you until death? you couldn’t understand what prompted him to hate you that much — was that all a plan to attack your brother, due to his status as an enemy of the fatui. did he really love you? or did the fatui explored his connection with you in the past to bring their vengeance to life?

however, the sadness shining in his eyes told you otherwise.

“please.” you tried to say with the last breath that you had, black points already appearing in your vision and his face blurred by the tears in your eyes.

you could see the outline of a sad smile on his lips. “i’m sorry, my beloved.” you felt a pair of lips on your forehead, the hand that wasn’t on your neck caressing your now scarred cheek. “i will always love you.” you couldn’t see the tears dripping down his lifeless eyes, a feeling that ajax hadn’t felt in years. when it was the last time he cried? when he thought he was going to die when he fell down in the abyss? he couldn’t remember.

now, however, seeing the life leaving your body was enough to make his frozen heart to melt and break. rosalyne’s words resonated in his head — it was better to die by his hands, a slow and painless death, than to hers. tartaglia knew she would let all of her rage fall upon you, and he couldn’t bear to see what was going to happen if you became her victim.

“what is happening here, childe?”

a deep voice startled him, his hand leaving your neck to welcome one his swords again. you body fell limp to the ground, though ajax still could see a faint rise and fall of your chest. you were still alive — your body wouldn’t be another one on his count.

when he turned around to meet the owner of the familiar voice, ajax was met with zhongli’s startled face, his eyes widened, rage dancing on them like a foreign dancer presenting their talents, and brows furrowed. and it seemed like his senses came back to him, no trace of foul legacy inside him anymore, and he noticed what he had done. his tears were now falling freely from his eyes, his heart break and twisting and making breathing more difficult.

he was sure the archons sent zhongli to meet you both. because now you could live.

he took your body between his arms, trying to enjoy the last time he would hold you as close as that, walking towards the older man. “take her, please. i beg you, zhongli, take her and send her back to her mondstadt.” he pleaded, holding your body close to his chest. “i’ve committed the highest sin, and i can’t let the destiny that was bestowed upon her become a reality.”

it seemed as if zhongli understood what he was saying, though not entirely if his slightly furrowed brows had something to say, his arms ready to welcome you. ajax, albeit reluctantly, passed your body to zhongli’s waiting arms, your blood now a dark spot on his shirt and jacket, staining his hands and fingers — he always had enjoyed the sight of blood adorning his skin, especially those from his enemies, but your blood was like a venom corroding his skin until it was only bones. the smell was nauseating, and he felt like throwing up. “please, go. you will understand when the time comes, zhongli.” he couldn’t bear to see the state that he, himself, had put you in. hadn’t he promised to protect you until the end of time? that was his protection?

the other man only nodded, in a loss of words, walking away from childe, hurriedly, with your body between his arms. he knew childe could be quite bloodthirsty and feral, but never with you. his dead eyes even gained a spark whenever he was around you, and the smiles that adorned his face in your presence were the most real ones zhongli ever saw on the younger man's face. in all his almost four thousand years, morax had never witnessed a lover almost killing another — though he suspected childe’s work as a fatui had something to do with his sudden change in behavior.

you only started to give signs of being awake a few meters away from the harbinger’s house, though you didn’t try to trash around or get away from his hold. you seemed defeated, as if you had already accepted death. “... where…?” your voice was hoarse, probably from the choking childe had put you on, the mark of his hands still visible on your skin.

“it’s zhongli, my dear. i will take you to a safe place. you are safe now.”

—

it took you some hours to regain consciousness again, your mind a mix between remembering what happened and dreaming that your lover was still with you, holding your body close to his and whispering loving words in your ear.

however, when you finally broke free from the state you were in, the unfamiliar mattress under you and the coldness of the blankets over your body were a cruel reminder that your dreams were only that — feverish dreams of a time that you weren’t sure were true from ajax’s side. because your feelings for him were, the most truthful sentiments you ever felt in your entire life, and now they were providing you the most sorrowful emotions a human being could feel. your heart wasn’t broken, as it was crushed. crushed to the point that it was just dust now, and even if you wished you could mend it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

“here, have some tea.” zhongli’s voice took you from your thoughts, and you only nodded, not knowing if he had said anything before it. “are you feeling better? i am not the best healer, as you can see. i am afraid some of your injuries might form a scar.”

“it’s alright” you answered, not sure about what to say. you could feel the bandages all over your body, the pain all over it, but you tried to drink the tea, nonetheless. zhongli was being kind enough to take care of you, and you would never make little of his efforts. “a scar is the sign that i fought back.” you remembered your father once telling diluc that, on his first years of sword training — but it was a completely different circumstance, and you weren’t sure he would approve of his only daughter now having an imperfection on her face.

“i am sure it will not affect your beauty.” those words managed to bring a faint smile to your face, though not as bright and big as it used to be. zhongli missed the sight of your smiles, but he was happy he was able to bring the ghost of it to your face once more. he was well versed in the ways of having a broken heart, and a true smile would take some time to adorn your lips again.

he watched as you drank the tea, taking the cup from your hands gently, while you adjusted yourself once more on his bed. he was already in contact with lumine, who was probably in contact with your brother, to find a way to bring you back to your hometown safely and quickly. zhongli was intrigued by childe’s last words — what sin had the younger man committed, and what fate was bestowed upon you? the archon couldn’t think about anything that could make the harbinger to try to kill you, but your fate seemed to be worse than death on childe’s eyes.

he thought his last contract was with the tsaritsa, but it seemed that one of her followers managed to steal such a place in the god of contract’s existence.

“zhongli?”

your voice was small, as if it was the song of a caged bird. he turned his golden eyes to your form, impressed by how young you truly were — in many nights he was kept awake, eyes facing the same ceiling you were now, thinking about how much you remind him of her. of how your smile was the same as hers, how the wind in your hair made the same movement it used to do with hers. but you were young, and you didn’t have the same wisdom and knowledge as her, but you had enchanted him the same way.

he wasn’t sure if reincarnations really existed, but, if it did, you and guizhong shared the same soul.

“yes, my dear?” he tried not to touch your face like he used to do with her, but he got up from the chair he was in and sat on the end, his hands a few inches away from your resting body.

“have you ever had your heart broken?” zhongli understood why you were asking that. you were away from your family, away from your friends in a foreign nation, and you needed guidance. and he was beyond happiness to be the one to help you — if he could, he’d share with himself the pain you were feeling so you could feel better.

you watched as he nodded. “i did, once.”

“and how did you heal from it?” it was a personal question and you knew it, but you didn’t know who to ask. diluc and kaeya never had a great love that ended in sour feelings as far as you knew, so they weren’t options. maybe lisa? you didn’t know much about her past as a student in sumeru, but you would be too ashamed to ask her something like that.

zhongli stayed silent for a while, and you almost lost hope that he would answer you, before he started. “i do not think i ever healed from that. but time proved to be an efficient helper.” though the curiosity to know what happened with him numbed your pain a bit, you wouldn’t be able to ask. it must have been something really horrible if he still wasn’t able to get over it. “and my friends and family, too. the key is to not be alone at those times when you can’t think about anything else but them.” but her, he wanted to say, her that is so much like you that it pains my heart to see you suffering like that. “love can only be cured with love, y/n.”

you nodded, pinky finger intertwining with zhongli’s one, as a way to comfort him for the pain you made he remember. he chuckled, and it seemed like the sound reverberated through the whole earth, a sound that could make mountains turn to dust and flowers to grow.

but home was calling you, and you couldn’t ignore the song of freedom calling you back, nor the wind almost dragging you back to a place you knew nobody could ever hurt you.

a big kiss to @ajaxstar

#childe x reader #genshin impact #tartaglia x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #childe angst #genshin angst #childe #tartaglia

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