#unnecessary ramble but it’s grand

[sivavakkiyar]

big find for me tonight, can’t recommend it highly enough, kinda freaking out. this one’s a collab between the “A” Trio, the ‘oldest free improv group from Lebanon.’ They’re fabulous, a lot of their albums still have the meditative quality that the opening of this one does but also a lot of fun, all worth hearing (I really liked “A Tower With No Imam” off their album Folk). They’re playing here with AMM (Eddie Provost & John Tilbury) who were one of the first and greatest British free improv groups (ridiculous body of work amongst each of them and the AMM itself, Tilbury is one of the best performers of Feldman and definitely Cardew in my opinion.)

anyway that’s the nerd history pitch mostly this stuff is beautiful, really leaves you with something. If you like noise when it’s ‘quieter’ and don’t mind instruments (that’s a joke), if you’re into stuff like this at all, and maybe even if you’re not—-I think a thing like this could turn people onto it. wow. cool shit.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying

(Wolverine (2020) #3)

[tvrningout]

tbh both kaiya and cyrillo are not huge fans of the grand city for a few reasons. both of them grew up closer to nature or the sea -- cyrillo lived in a city, but it wasn't built up like the grand city, and he could easily travel far enough to the beach and be alone with his thoughts. both of them miss the sounds of birds and wind whistling through their hair.

neither of them are too fond of the people of the grand city, though there are exceptions ofc!! but while both kaiya and cyrillo are naturals at navigating polite society, they do prefer the company of those who aren't so concerned with titles and wealth and pushing their own agendas. they prefer to not always have their entertainment personalities turned on, if they can help it.

but they stay in the grand city bc it's home. it's where their friends are. it's where they've made the greatest impact for their kind, and it's where they must stay if they hope to continue making progress. so they might daydream of another home, a place they hope to return to one day, but they might never leave the grand city until someone trustworthy can take their places.

[romanscool]

MAXIEL #9 KISS PROMPT OMG

#9: a kiss to shut them up - maxiel: sfw!

this was so fun to write, thanks a lot for the ask!!

anyways, enjoy.

->

Daniel knows he shouldn’t have trusted Max on this one. Not when it involved Max promising he wouldn’t get mad after a game of padel.

Because, the thing is, Max is shit at padel. He’s always been, and most likely will always be, because it’s been almost ten years of playing every Grand Prix week end and he still hasn’t won a game yet. Even against Lando, which says something. But. It’s not like Daniel is any better, though he often finds himself to be flexier than Max is, catching balls that his padel-teammate would never have, and Max does have a habit of pointing it out after. That Daniel is very souple. 

But, anyway. All this to say, Daniel should definitely not have trusted Max when he said that padel was always fun, even if they lost. Definitely even less when Max added maybe they might even win this time. Yeah, that should have been a hint for how this was going to end. 

They lost. Obviously. Except now, Daniel has to deal with a very frustrated Max who, when in this state, finds rambling very relieving.

« -d you even see what he did? Fucking Pierre always with his snarky comment, distracting us. He was very obviously cheating, I cannot believe he would even do that in that way. But, he was teamed up with Charles, so really, I shouldn’t even be fucking surprised ‘cause those two always do weird shit when they’re together-, »

Daniel always notices that Max’s accent pops out more when he’s angry. His red plushy lips lets out more lisp, and all the ‘th’ become ’t’, which makes him sound a little funny, and also a little harsher than he probably means to be, though right now, Daniel thinks he’d like to actually spit those ’t’s as Pierre and Charles. Fucking padel pair that always wins. Daniel should really, really have seen this one coming. 

They’re walking through the paddock now, about to get into their separate garages to start he Singapore qualification session, and apparently, Max still isn’t over their little game of padel last night. He’s been shooting death glares at any Alpine employee, which isn’t very fair, but it’s very Max, so Daniel didn’t comment on it. Since 10pm last night, he has let Max make big ranting gestures in front of him and explain everything that has been wrong with the way Pierre and Charles have played, how their strategy were ‘not fair play, and pretty fucking trying to fuck them up’ - Max’s words -. 

And Daniel is still listening and listening, trying to get into race mode, but he can’t, because God, he’s starting to understand where Max is coming from, because Pierre had made that little racket move to Daniel, that little wave just before he hit the ball, and that had distracted Daniel from the game, and god, why is Max making sense right now-

« -no, ‘cause, like, he should not have hit the ball this way, » Max is still gesturing angrily at whatever in front of him, eyes fixated on the ground, then the ceiling, then Daniel’s face and again on the ceiling, « because it made a little curve that no one could have ever thrown back! It’s so unfair, and Charles has always been this way, always throwing dirty moves that make us unable to fight back, always pushing me off track when I was beginning to win, and we were going to win last night, I felt it, but Charles with his fucking Pierre were so-, » 

Daniel kisses him. Like, hands on either side of his neck, tongue pushing past his lips and hips flush against each other’s kissing, and God, Max is still trying to speak when Daniel pulls away, so Daniel kisses him again, just to make sure he’ll shut up, because Daniel can’t keep listening to this and risk getting into unnecessary fights with an impossible opponent that is Ferrari and a team that’s been at the back of the grid for most the year, he’s supposed to be right at the middle, sandwiched between them. Not fighting. 

Max is the one to break the kiss this time, eyes big and round, breath a little panting from either his rant or the kiss, and Daniel really wishes it’s the kiss, and his lips a slightly parted, red and blotchy just under the freckle that sits so prettily, but they’re starting to move again, to form words, « Daniel, I do not-, » so Daniel has to kiss them quiet again. Max keeps trying to talk, gently but actually not very so, almost biting into Daniel’s lips as he does so, so Daniel puts a hand to his scalp, just behind the ear, rubbing soft circular motion there, and-

Max melts a bit after that. Daniel feels his shoulder slump slightly under his touch, his knees bend just a little and one of his hands settle in Daniel’s curls, and the other on his waist. He’s not trying to pull away anymore, not trying to speak, to argue, if anything, he’s pulling in, in, in, taking Daniel in his arms fully, touching everywhere, and now Daniel pulls away again, because he suddenly remembers they’re minutes away from qualifications and he’s got to get his head in race mode, not go easy on a Red Bull that he will most likely never cross, but who knows. 

Daniel has got to stop being so easily distracted. 

ps: might do an nsfw version of this prompt to post on ao3 for kinktober, let me know if you'd be interested!!

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: descriptions of past toxic relationship/cheating; consumption of alcohol; anxiety; mentions of sex/sexual situations; Jake being an asshole; Reader takes an extra Melatonin (doctor's advice)

Chapter Word Count: 8.1k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: wooohooo! we have come to chapter 2! 

please forgive me for how long this took to be posted. i am a school teacher, and the end of year is the most hectic. 🫠 so, busyness combined with my need to make sure i personally feel good enough with a chapter to post it. . . it’s not a good combo. lmao although, summer is right around the corner! and i promise when it comes, covet will get much more of my attention!! 

reminder that this is a ~slow burn~ in its truest form. 

i <3 and appreciate you all!! i truly can’t say thank you enough for the support and kind words (it means so much, esp w/ this being my first gvf fic). i love hearing feedback from each and every one of you!! 

alright, i will be done w/ my rambling. i apologize on behalf of myself. lol

hope you enjoy, my loves. 

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

-🌼🌼🌼 -

Chapter 2

The first month of living with Jake went about as smoothly as one would expect. 

His first full day in the apartment, you’d woken up, ready to be nice. Really. You’d tried your hardest to forget about how he’d acted when he had made his grand entrance. 

But he wasn’t giving up on his act. 

When you’d been standing at the coffee maker in the kitchen that first morning, loading your K-Cup, he’d stopped at the counter. You didn’t know what for, but when you noticed him there, you had tried to start a conversation. Some meaningless small talk to try and break the ice he’d created. 

And his only response? A barely audible hum. 

You did give him credit for glancing up to at least acknowledge your presence. Although, that’s the bare minimum of basic human decency. So, you didn’t give him much credit. 

But, that had been it. And then, he’d left for the day. 

It had instantly caused you to be pissed at everything. Including the coffee maker’s little unnecessary spurts as it poured coffee into your mug. 

Every day since then had gone about the same, sometimes with even less interaction than that. And to you, the lack of desire to even try to associate with you was offensive. 

After all, you were the person who had literally given him a place to live.

To make things worse, he was that kind of asshole that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. It really just confirmed how truly repulsive he was.

You had gotten an idea midway through that first month to begin compiling a list of apartment rules. 

Initially, it had seemed pointless. Then, you reminded yourself that you were worth better treatment. You knew you deserved for Jake to show at least a sliver of respect towards you in your home.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You decided to tell Josh of the rules you’d crafted. 

“I will be very honest, I really don’t know how well those will go over, Y/N.”

He was giving you a look that instantly made you go into defense mode. 

“Joshua. It’s been a month,” you matched his look with one of your own. You wanted your point to be known. You were going to make damn sure that Josh understood why you wanted to do this. “Josh, he still barely even looks at me. I think rules would give us some sort of common ground. And it would force him to show the place—and me—some respect.”

“Jake has never been one to want to follow the rules — do what he’s told,” he scratched the buzzed side of his head, right above his ear. 

You stood with a hand on your waist, right under your thrifted crop top. You eyed him, making sure he knew he needed to elaborate. 

You didn’t know much at all about your roommate. 

You’d been waiting for Josh to share more, but he didn’t share much. He claimed that it wasn’t his place. You were desperate though. All you knew about Jake was that he was your best friend’s twin, what his record choices were, that he had been in an apparently crappy relationship, and the fact that he was an ungrateful asshole. 

Josh relented slightly. “I’ll tell you this story because it involves me as well. And we were so young,” he leaned with his back against the checkout counter, facing away from customers. “When we were in our freshman year of high school, he played soccer while I participated in theatre. He enjoyed it and he was actually quite good at it, you know,” Josh smiled, obviously replaying memories. “But, high school classes grew increasingly harder. We both struggled, honestly. We love to learn more. . . I mean, you know this about me. He’s the same way. But we really only enjoy doing it most when it concerns the subjects for which we’re passionate. 

So, high school work being less than interesting to us both, our grades dropped. Big time,” his eyes widened, once again reliving it all. At this point, he was staring into space to tell the story. “Our parents and teachers came down on us hard. They told us we would be kicked out of our extracurricular activities if we didn’t raise our grades.”

You shook your head, looking around the store. A couple of regulars were perusing. You knew them well enough to know it would be awhile until they were done. “I know exactly where this is going.”

You both made eye contact then, and as he looked your way, he gave a little closed-mouth grin that made his eyes crinkle. “Yeah? Guess.”

You smirked at your friend. “You, being you, were determined to show that you had what it took to make the grade. You cared enough about theatre to continue it,” he nodded at your words. “And, in the time I’ve known you, you’ve never been one to say no to a challenge. It’s why we are friends. I love a good challenge.”

He made a noise of agreeance. Then, his eyebrows raised and his lips turned down. The look he gave you told you he was impressed. “You know me well,” he continued. “Now, how well do you know your roommate?” 

You scoffed. “As you know, not fucking well. But I know he couldn’t give two shits about what others think of him,” you pointed to yourself. “I’m a shining example. So, —.”

“Essentially, he said ‘fuck it’ and just decided to continue on with what he had been doing in his classes, which was jack shit,” Josh had finished for you, wanting to complete the story he’d begun.

“How did he even pass high school?”

He gave you a deadpan stare and raised his  eyebrows. You rolled your eyes. At the same time, you both said:

“Girls.”

You rolled your eyes even harder this time. “Good God.”

Josh nodded, lips turned down, his eyes still held a little glint. “Yup. Get my point now?”

“Yeah, but like I just said, I’m not one to turn down a challenge. Just like you, Josh,” you smiled at a customer who was finally walking up to the counter, a few records in hand. “And your brother. . .I’ve learned he is nothing if not a challenge.” 

He nodded, he knew you were right. And he’d known you long enough to know that you did indeed enjoy overcoming any problem life may hand you.

In this instance, you hoped he understood your current challenge/problem was Jake.

And you needed to know how to fix it. Josh was your only source. You just had to get him to break for more information. 

Again, you really liked a good challenge. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

The shift rolled on. The two of you had been working the closing shift that day. 

So, as the day shifted to evening, and with about an hour before the store closed up, you started nightly duties. Josh went about straightening vinyls, fixed the ‘Featured’ wall (his favorite), and re-folded the shirts the store carried with the Black and Gold’s logo. 

Meanwhile, you swept and dusted the store. 

You hated to admit it. You really did. But you couldn’t help how the conversation from earlier had piqued your interest even more than before. 

You were now hooked. You wanted to learn more about your mysterious roommate. 

You debated how you were going to ask Josh for more information. What was a way you could ask that would convince him to tell you more about his twin? 

Ever since Jake had moved in, you’d tried so desperately to get information out of Josh. 

And he just refused to budge.

You were putting the broom away when you’d settled on how to ask him. 

You were going to be a jackass and use manipulation. 

You sucked, you knew this. You were just dying to know more about this person with whom you shared your home. And, to reiterate, it had been a damn month of knowing next to nothing about him. 

So, when you joined Josh behind the counter as he balanced the register, you were ready to play your hand. 

“Alright, so, Elsie still isn’t sure if she wants to be in your movie.” There it was. A complete lie using your sister— the one he was completely smitten with. In truth, Elsie had agreed on the spot. 

But, again, desperation had led you to this. 

You didn’t look up from your task of watering the plants that sat at the window. Just keep talking. “I have a proposition for you. You tell me more about Jake and I will convince her with everything I have to star in your film.”

You still didn’t look over to him. You were afraid of rejection. Then, you heard what seemed to be a sigh of defeat out of your best friend. You looked up to him, his eyes still reading uncertainty.

“Y/N,” he sighed. You knew he was about to say the same thing he had said for the past month. 

“I know, Josh. It’s not your story,” you moved forward to be standing right next to him. You balanced your elbow on the counter, you needed to say your piece—needed him to understand. You locked eyes with him, pleading. “Come on, Josh. I am desperate. He won’t offer anything up. He is silent. It’s been a month. He refuses to acknowledge my presence, hence me forcing him to notice me with the rules,” you paused, suddenly looking to the ground. You needed Josh to bend to your vulnerability. “But, I just need something else. You told me that one story earlier,” you urged. “Just something else small that might help me know him a bit better than I do now.”

You looked up. You were anticipating another rejection from him after you’d finished babbling. Though, his eyes seemed to open more at your apparent state of helplessness. 

He knew that it wasn’t fair what Jake was putting you through. He had to acknowledge that. You knew he felt most things with you. And you knew he was someone who had enough integrity to want to help you out. He knew this situation had been less than ideal.

He just had to loosen up on his stance of not wanting to tell his brother’s stories.

He released one more sigh. “Fine,” he looked you in the eyes. “And please try your hardest to get your sister convinced to star in my film. The role was created for her.”

You nodded. You looked to the ground once more at that last part. You felt guilty for using that little white lie. “You’ve got it.”

“Y/N.”

You looked up to him after he’d spoken your name in a tone that was much more serious than his usual. 

His brown irises were intent as he spoke. “You have to know I’m breaking a big rule of mine,” he continued. “I don’t like speaking to stories that belong to other people. Our experiences are unique to us. They deserve to be told by those to whom they happened.” 

You nodded. You understood his point. You totally knew why he felt the way he did. 

“Josh, you can just tell me childhood stories that involve both of you,” you grabbed his arm. You needed him to know you were being genuine. “I don’t want to make you betray your principles.”

He patted the hand you’d placed on his arm. “I appreciate that, Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just think you need to know some of the—,” he spread his hands out to emphasize, then clapped them back together. “The bigger pieces of him. At the moment, he won’t let himself show you who he is. He really isn’t a bad person. He’s just been through a hell of a lot recently.” 

All you could do was nod your head once. There wasn’t much left for you to say. You would let the curly headed man begin when he was ready. 

He eyed the clock. You looked with him. Only thirty minutes to eight o’clock. 

You looked down to your palms, wiping them on your jeans. They were suddenly getting clammy at the prospect of what information could be hitting you within the next 30 minutes. 

“I’m going to begin by saying that as his five-minutes-older brother, I’m glad that Jake gets to finally live life for himself without having to worry about being hung up on a girl,” he looked to the two folded chairs that always sat behind the counter. “Let’s sit.” 

You followed him to the chairs. And as he sat in the right chair, you sat in the left. He looked into space, contemplating what to say next. 

“Jake is seriously going through something he has never experienced before. I mean, your significant other being unfaithful to you sucks anyhow. But she’s been all he’s known for so long. . . This is a complete life upheaval for him, of sorts,” he pauses. “He and this girl — they truly were together for a long time. What are he and I . . . 24 now?” 

You nodded.

“Well, they got together when we were juniors in high school. That would make this relationship about seven years old,” he sighed. “Long time to be together—and it began when they were really only kids.”

You nodded again, coaxing him on. 

“So, since they were together that long. . . there was a lot that happened between them in high school alone, but then you have post-high school when he set his life plan on the back burner for her. We had these plans — big ones. A dream we’d shared. All of us. Sammy and Danny included.”

You were wondering what the dream could have been. “What was the dream?”

Josh shook his head. “It was Jake’s first. We all followed along behind him,” he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “It wouldn’t be right for me to share.” 

You were left wondering at that, but you did understand why Josh didn’t want to share. There was honor in that. And he wouldn’t be Josh if he didn’t show his honor, especially by showing loyalty to those he loved. 

“So, his dream. . .,” you exaggerated the word by using your hands as jazz hands. “It went down the tubes?”

Josh gave you a look. It was a look that told you to take a step back and try to understand. 

You relented. 

You knew it was only right to put your grumpiness with Jake aside for this story. Josh was showing vulnerability on his brother’s behalf. Plus, you’d been the one to force Josh out of his moral values to divulge Jake things. It wasn’t right to act anything but respectful to these tellings of Jake. For Josh’s sake alone.

And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to hear more. Learning of Jake’s past was like satisfying this raging itch.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was quiet. 

The edges of Josh’s eyes wrinkled as he gave you a reassuring grin. “It’s okay,” he patted your knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know why you’re blunt about him. I know the man’s entire range of emotions. He acts like a child when he— when his emotions are so big and bad.”

“And right now,” you started. Your heart was growing slightly soft. “He is feeling the most emotions.”

Josh shook his head to agree. “Though, this girl was always a pill,” he rolled his eyes. “I liked her a lot at first, truly. But she started flirting with me an awful lot to be dating my brother,” his body shook as if to shake the memory. “It’s honestly not a shock to me that their relationship ended the way it did.”

Though, as soon as the last words had left his mouth, he looked down to consider them. He was weighed down by an emotion he didn’t need to speak out loud for you to know. Guilt.

It was your turn to reach a hand over to touch his knee. You just sat your hand there and told him. “You cannot blame yourself for any of this.”

He continued looking down. “I should have talked to him about how she would make advances. . . To warn him. Maybe he would have never gone and he could have—.”

He placed a palm to his forehead, eyes closing. He was going to get lost in this thought if you didn’t stop him. 

“Josh, she was a terrible person all along,” you placed a hand on his back, rubbing his right shoulder blade. “Jake isn’t a stupid person. He can’t be. You aren’t. And he’s your twin brother. He could have noticed the signs if he wanted to. It was his responsibility to drop her when he had the chance,” you gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Before any of this happened. Apparently he just loved her too much to fully acknowledge what he needed to do.”

You gave him a couple of minutes to really think about that. Then, finally, he lifted his head. “He wouldn’t have listened to me anyways,” He had a gleam in his eye. “My brother is a stubborn asshole,” he chuckled a little. “If you haven’t noticed.”

You gave him a look that said ‘No? Really?’ That turned a few more giggles loose from his chest. 

He continued, letting his tone become serious again. “So, our senior year, Jake really started getting serious about his dream. We all made these real plans, but they were ruined,” he paused, his mouth becoming a straight line. He was remembering a moment that caused a particular annoyance. “That was until she brought up how she wanted him to move with her if she got accepted to this prestigious school in Illinois,” he cleared his throat. “It makes me angry that she asked, but I also get wanting to ask your serious significant other to move with you. It was different—more than that, though. 

Her selfishness was so prominent so often; I think that’s why her asking rubbed me so wrong then, and still does now. She knew if she asked, he’d go. He’d leave his own aspirations in the dust for her. She knew what he wanted—what he’d always wanted. But still, she deemed her choices, her career, more important.”

You nodded, completely seeing eye-to-eye with your best friend. “I think there’s this sense of justice in you for your brother that he hasn’t always seemed to have for himself.”

“Yes!” Josh’s expression was one of relief that you understood. “And the thing with Jake is

. . . He’s always—girls have—,” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “As soon as his hormones kicked in when we were younger, he started noticing girls. He indulged himself in all of that,” Josh lifted his eyebrows. “He really has a strong appreciation for women, I’ll say that.” 

You rolled your eyes, nodding and then crossing your arms, sitting back. Your stomach leaped in a way you chose to ignore at the mention of his appreciation for women. To you, it was ludicrous that he couldn’t appreciate you in some capacity. If he needed sex in order to appreciate a woman, you were not the one.

“A big piece of him changed when girls started becoming involved. He lost a piece of himself. It’s almost as though he didn’t see himself as worthy without one. And now—.”

“And that’s why it’s so hard for him right now,” you finished the statement, bringing yourself back. “He’s lost a sense of his identity. . .

having to find out who he is without a woman.” 

Josh clicked his tongue, a smirk showing with a dimple in his cheek. “Precisely. It’s been a while for him,” a little spark caught in his eye. “On the drive moving him here, I told him that he needs to take a fucking break from women until he starts understanding what it means to think of what he wants first,” he rubbed at his forehead. “I know it seems like a terrible thing for me to say, but I think it’s important for him to put himself first for once in his goddamned life. He deserves to know who he is without a woman claiming him as her own.”

“Because he is worth knowing himself for who he is,” you concluded.

“Aw, Y/N. . . You growing a soft spot for Jakey?” Josh smiled smugly at you.

You held eye contact with him for a few seconds and then laughed outright at his statement. “You’re funny,” you looked to the clock, realizing you were only a couple of minutes from closing. You got up from the foldable chair and went to grab your purse from a hook behind the desk.

Josh followed your lead, but stopped to look for his phone. He tapped at all of his pockets.  Then, coming up short, he looked around the register and the checkout counter. 

You helped him look. But, the sound of Gloria Gaynor belting that “she will survive” helped you locate it easier. You saw it light up, sitting atop a box of new records at the back of the shop. 

You groaned, already walking to get it for him.

“Josh, you have got to be better about keeping track of your phone.”

Josh tsked at you, “And you have got to be better about not bossing me around,” he turned off the lights around the register. “I refuse to be a slave to such a tiny device that doesn’t serve any purpose to my spiritual healing.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, though you knew he was right. As you approached his phone, you got one final glimpse at the caller ID picture. It had been a picture of Jake. 

Even though you had just taken a deep dive into Jake’s past and grown a tiny fraction of sympathy and understanding for him. . .his picture still made you want to punch things. 

As much as his recent past had sucked, he  treated you with such blatant disrespect for someone who had offered their home to him. 

When you traipsed back over to Josh, he was waiting for you at the door, hand already on the doorknob to leave. “Jake called you.”

Josh turned around. His back was facing you and a thumb pointed behind him. “Pocket,” he said.

You snickered a little bit and did as he told you. Josh was choosing you over his prick of a brother and, quite frankly, you were bursting at the seams. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were not ready to go home to more awkwardness and Josh could tell as much, so he invited you to get a quick drink after work with him. 

He filled you in on everything else he deemed necessary as you drank a couple of margaritas on the rocks, him settling on just one Salty Dog.

Josh told a few finishing details about how much it had sucked to be separated from his womb mate for so many years.

“It honestly felt like I was cut off from him.”

Your heart hurt for him. “I’m glad he is nearer to you now,” you paused, curious. “Did he miss you that much too?”

Josh set a look on you, “Who was the first person he called after it happened? He was ready to be with me again,” he put a hand over his heart. “Came back to his understanding, sensitive twin . . . every moon needs its sun.”

You gave a conceding nod and shrug. “Fair,” you smiled. “You're obviously the sun.”

“Obviously,” he flashed a smile your way. “He might not admit it right now, but he was not at his happiest with her,” he stated. “As ironic or untrue it may seem with his moodiness, I think if he isn’t already, Jake is on his way to feeling the most free he has in a long time. I’m glad to have him back with me. Being away from each other wasn’t good for either of us.”

Your heart swelled for the tenderhearted man next to you. You watched as he looked off into space with what could only be described as a soft sort of pensiveness. You were happy for your friend, despite how Jake was acting or made you feel.

You felt your head get slightly light from the alcohol on an almost empty stomach from being at work nearly all day. You were still so curious, you wanted to know more.

“So, how did it happen?”

“Well, all I know is she was getting quite distant for a while, but Jacob thought she was only distracted by her job. Gave her the benefit of the doubt, let her do her thing and just followed along,” he gave you a look. “He did that much too often. My brother isn’t a puppy dog, but he followed her around like one,” Josh’s jaw clenched and he scratched at his bare chin. “One would say that he loved her. But as his twin, if my telepathic brain is worth anything, I believe that more than love, Jake shared so much with her when they were young that he felt obligated to follow her lead. . .no matter what.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Oh, quite,” he continued, eyebrows bunched together. “The way he put it when he told me of the situation was that it was as though she was,” he held up air quotes. “‘Shooting the shit.’”

“Just told him like it was no big deal?” You shook your head. “That’s harsh.” 

“More than that, told him in a way that made it seem like she was already done. Essentially, his reaction meant nothing to her. She just needed to tell him in order to end things,” he continued. “She told him it had been going on for quite some time and that she didn’t think they could make it work after it all.”

“What did she do after she told him? What happened after?”

Alcohol was interacting with your senses. Otherwise, you wouldn’t show open curiosity like this. You were sure of it. 

“Well, she left,” He chewed his lip lightly. “Left Jake to deal with the aftermath — the knowledge of it all — by himself. She went to stay with a friend and he had exactly a week to get his shit together and move out. So, being the decent and thoughtful person he is,” you made a sound. Josh gave you a look. “He respected her wishes and got the hell out.”

You really had no words for the situation. It was horrid for Jake, you had to admit. You felt bad for him. You really did. Even though he pissed you off beyond belief, you still knew he was deserving of better than any of what she had put him through. 

You just wished he wouldn’t react in a way that made him become an utter jerk. Due to his attitude, you couldn’t claim that you knew the person who seemed so selfless and loving in Josh’s stories. 

The person you knew was the opposite of the one told in Josh’s tales. 

You only knew a self-centered jerk who held absolutely no respect for you in any way. 

You hated to admit to yourself just how much you wished to know the person Josh had told you about this evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Josh dropped you off at the stoop to your apartment that night, he shared with you an idea that had come to him. 

“This weekend. We need to do something this weekend.”

You quickly agreed, “Yes! I’d love to have a weekend that’s just us. . .like old times.”

“Actually,” he scuffed the bottom of his white sneaker against the stair step he stood on. He eyed you. “How about we involve Sammy and Danny?”

You could be okay with that. Then suddenly, your stomach flipped. “What about Jake?”

He met your eyes. “He would join. All of us. Game night.”

“Josh,” his name came out like a child’s whine. “Why?” 

He put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It will be good for both of you. He’ll get to be around you with others and you’ll get to be around him while he’s with people he already knows and feels most comfortable with,” he squeezed lightly at your shoulder. “It will be great. He’ll come out of his shell, and surely he’ll act a little more like himself if he’s around myself and the other two.”

Your stomach rolled at the idea of actually spending any sort of time with Jake. 

Establishing rules? Sure, you could do that. It might take 10 minutes max. But an extended amount of time actually hanging out? 

You agreed to it before Josh left you that night, even though you had your hesitations. 

You wanted to bring some joy to the man that had been there for you through so much. You were also desperate to look like the bigger person in this situation. And, surely agreeing to this would make Josh see that you were trying when Jake wasn’t. 

You needed Josh to see the trueness of your heart in all of this, no matter how much bitterness his brother had caused you.

When you’d entered your home that evening, the lights had all been off. Jake’s door was closed. He was asleep. Thank God.

As you stood at the bathroom mirror taking off your makeup, you convinced yourself it would be fine. You could find positives. You’d hung out with the other three before. You all got along very well in a group setting and honestly always had a great time. That part would be all right.

You just had to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t ruin it by simply being there with his persistent little dark cloud of distemper. 

By the time you tucked yourself under your covers, you decided no matter what, you would have a fun time. If only for the benefit of the other boys and yourself.

You were also determined to show the best parts of yourself to Jake. A darker part of you wanted him to feel slightly (very) guilty for how he’d been treating his simply incredible roommate. 

But before game night, you had to talk to him about your rules. You weren’t looking forward to him blowing you off. You had a terrible idea that would be the response you’d get to you speaking to him. 

But you still had to try.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You thought through the best time to go over the rules with him, and decided the day before your night with the guys was the best option.

Your mind had settled on Jake taking two possible routes with the conversation. You figured going over them on that Friday before would work for both of these possibilities. 

One possibility was that he would sulk and pout and react like an asshole, and doing it on Friday would give him an entire day to do so. The second option was that he could very possibly just straight up ignore you like he usually did. And, you thought it best to do it a day before he would be forced to associate with you. 

It also seemed fitting to do so on the day that marked almost an entire month of him living with you. You were only one day away from it having been a whole month of him sharing your home. What a perfect time to actually acknowledge and officially, really talk to you. 

Time for him to realize all you were was a super kind person. A person who offered him shelter when there was virtually nowhere else for him to go. 

He needed to respect you and your hospitality.

You had gotten used to him usually arriving home by six every night. So, you loomed in the living room until he got home around six that evening. 

And almost right at 6 o’clock, you heard his keys jingle in the lock. 

As soon as he walked in and saw you leaning against the couch, he stopped to stare at you. It was an awkward-ass stare that made you want to slap him right across the smooth skin of his tanned cheek. 

He was just infuriating. 

“Hey,” you started, trying to sound easygoing. You didn’t know why you were nervous, but you were. 

“Hi,” his response was spoken as a question. 

You knew that you standing there probably seemed extremely odd to the man.

You didn’t care if it made him feel uncomfortable. He deserved it after making you feel edgy for the last month in your own home.

He started to move on from you, already deciding to disregard you. 

“So,” you started, sticking to the assignment. And, surprisingly when you spoke, he stopped in his tracks. “I think I’ve decided it might be a good idea to make some apartment rules.”

With his back facing you, you saw him shake his head. His wavy locks caught the streams of the evening sun’s yellow glow, making the head shake that much more offensive. 

When he still didn’t turn around, you continued. “You can go change your clothes if you want,” you folded your arms tighter to your chest. “I’ll wait out here.”

He then turned, crossed back to the kitchen counter and dropped his keys in the key bowl you’d had since Elsie lived at the apartment. Then finally, he faced you. 

Your stomach did a little flip. Why were you nervous to establish these rules for your apartment? You just needed to get it over with. 

He raised his eyebrows and gave you a look that said ‘so?’ 

His face showed that he was already irritated. It was like the mere act of standing across from you was too much. Being forced to interact with you was a hassle. 

And instantly, you were irked. Could he be any more ridiculous? 

Admittedly, you were also already done with this talk. Screw him. You heatedly whipped your phone out of the back pocket of your jean shorts. You clicked through to your notes, where you’d started the rule list. 

You started with the most agreeable rules.

“The first rule: don’t go in each other’s rooms. I think that’s common sense, but just in case it needs to be stated,” you moved on. “Number two: if we buy food or drinks, they belong to us and only us. I was thinking we could even make two separate sides of the fridge. One side for yours and one for mine.”

You looked up when you heard him take a breath. You looked at him just in time to see him breathe out a tight-lipped sigh, a mocking smirk on his face as he bugged his eyes. 

You chose to ignore him, blatantly rolling your eyes and looked back to your phone. 

“Rule number three: do your own dishes and do your best to keep the sink empty. Rule number four: keep our common spaces clean. You know, kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom. . .clean up after yourself,” you glanced at him, seeing that he was looking into space, eyes still huge. His arms were crossed across his chest as yours had been. “Rule five: do your own laundry. And I think switching off every other day for whose laundry day it is would be a good idea. I get Monday, you get Tuesday, I get Wednesday. . .and so on.”

You paused, giving him room for notes if he had any. His face held a look you couldn’t quite read. 

“Any thoughts?” You questioned. 

He gave a little chuckle that seemed to mock the same air you’d just spoken the rules to. It was insulting. Still, you wanted to hear from him. So you waited. 

And after a solid two minutes of just standing there, he loudly exhaled. His hand combed through the front of his hair, pushing it back. His eyes blinked a couple of times afterwards. “You seem to have it all nailed down, roomie.”

“Well, thanks,” you hesitantly responded. You were pleased that he was okay with what you’d shared so far. But his mention of the nickname seemed more snarky than anything.

“No, I mean,” he cleared his throat, rubbing at his chin. “You’ve got it nailed down. Like, you left no room for any ‘notes.’”

You scoffed at the air quotes he gave the word. “I’ve hardly ‘nailed it down’,” you gave your own air quotes for his words. “These are just an outline of ideas I have.”

“Just keep going,” he sighed as though he was completely exasperated and tucked both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I have a date in like an hour.”

“A date?” 

“And it’s your business how?”

“You just told me,” you argued. “That’s how.”

“Didn’t mean you could ask questions about it,” he bit back. “I was just telling you so you would know I don’t have time to just stand here and listen to you drag on about these ‘rules’.”

You shook your head, shocked at how rude a person could be. Completely in awe of the man, you decided you would continue. You were ready to be rid of him. 

“Fine,” you angrily pressed your phone back on. “Speaking of dates. . .Rule six: when you have a date over, please keep them out of the common areas and remember the walls are thin. . . In general, no especially loud music, no loud. . .,” you cleared your throat and your skin prickled with embarrassment. “. . .  anything else.”

“Oh,” he seemed interested. Figured. If it had to do with a woman, his interest was suddenly piqued. “That also applies to you and Josh, I assume?”

“What?!” You were suddenly very disturbed at that statement. “Josh and me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He tilted his head down, his eyes sticking onto yours, hair falling to swing next to his face. “Seriously? You apparently know the walls are thin as shit. And our rooms are right next door, so I can hear the two of you stay up all hours of the night talking,” he looked to the side, his eyebrows raising. “Who knows what the hell else you both do after I fall asleep. You are both touchy as fuck with one another, so I’ll just let my mind wander with what happens behind closed doors.”

You started laughing hysterically at the whole statement Jake had just made. You couldn’t even gather your thoughts. Shocked was an understatement for how Jake’s assumptions left you feeling. 

“Are you kidding me?” You stepped towards him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Of course you would assume a friendship is more than what it actually is. Hopeless fuckin’ roma—.”

You stopped yourself. You had almost called him a hopeless romantic. How would you even begin to explain that you knew enough about him to call him that?

He took a step forward, his jaw clenched. He crossed his arms across his chest again. His chest seemed to continue to rise with his irritation. His fingers were digging into his biceps, clad in his light blue button-up.

“No, finish. Please.” 

Your blood pressure was rising, you felt your skin prickling with embarrassment and guilt. Your heart was racing. You shouldn’t have exploded and almost exposed what Josh had told you. You couldn’t betray Josh’s trust like that. You were being errant. You knew an anxiety attack was on the horizon if you didn’t stop soon. Betraying someone you love was known to bring you to tears quicker than almost anything else. 

You also couldn’t deny how bad you felt for referring to something that was probably still a sensitive topic to your roommate. As much as you despised him, you didn’t have to be so overtly uncool towards him in a hard time.

“Let’s just keep on with the rules,” you tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t need to have an anxiety attack in front of him. That was the last thing you needed. “Please?”

He seemed to catch on to your nerves. And luck seemed to be on your side with how he relented so quickly. He still seemed a little irked, but his eyes were softer than they were before.

“Go on.”

You breathed in and out once, then situated your nerves the best you could to finish. 

“I, um, I thought it would be cool to add a little something that would help keep us accountable for getting to know each other,” you didn’t want to meet his eyes, so you kept yours glued to the screen of your phone. “We both love music, so I was thinking. . .Rule seven: we switch off every other night and play a record on the record player. One of our own choosing. It would give us a good idea of who we’re living with.”

“Because the music we love really says so much about who we are,” he agreed honestly. 

You looked up after he’d spoken, and the look on his face as he looked down said he hadn’t meant to speak it out loud. His eyebrows knitted together like he had conflict within himself. He didn’t want you to know he thought similarly to you, you were sure of it. He’d let his precious little guard down the slightest, smallest bit. 

You couldn’t help it when a teeny-tiny grin landed on your lips. You shook it away before he could possibly see.

“Yep. Totally,” you said very quietly in response. But you knew he heard you when he blinked a couple times and then ran a hand through his hair, bringing his head back up in the process. 

He was making you feel very antsy, and his date would be here soon. So, you tried to finish quickly. 

“And finally, rule eight: we keep a work schedule posted to the fridge so we’re aware of when the other one will be at home. It will be helpful to know if the other one is at work; just in case of an emergency or anything, I thought it’d be helpful.”

You looked up as you finished, he was now leaning back against the kitchen counter. His amber-brown eyes stayed locked on yours earnestly for a bit. You felt your cheeks heat. Then he asked, “And you’re sure there’s not anything else?” 

You shook your head ‘no’.

His previously haughty tone was coming back when he spoke next. “How do you expect me to remember all of these things? And we'll post our schedules on the fridge?”

You couldn’t help it as your heart leapt the slightest bit. He still wasn’t completely rejecting any of the rules. In fact, unless he was somehow being sarcastic, he even wanted a way to remember them. 

“I—I’ll print it all out at work and put everything on the fridge,” you shoved your phone into your back pocket. “I’ll even include a place for our phone numbers, just in case we ever need those.” You added, "And we can just post our schedules when we get them every week."

He nodded once. He looked up at the ceiling then, obviously done with the conversation. You didn’t blame him. You really were too. 

You were suddenly longing for him to ignore you again. His presence was making you tense. You didn’t know how to act around him. You hadn’t had that problem with anyone for a long time. 

The last time was probably middle school when no one knew how to act around each other. 

But now as an adult woman? You hated that someone made you feel like this. 

And in your own home, no less.

He pushed off the counter and started to his room. Then, only steps from his room, he turned on his boot to face you, he held a look of blatant vexation. 

Ugh, what now? You thought.

“Do we really have to have our own sections for our food and drinks in the fridge? Why don’t we just put our initials on things that belong to us?” He reasoned. “I’ll even buy the damned Sharpie.”

You couldn’t find a way to dispute his suggestion in the moment. You could agree with that. “Yeah, sounds good. Good idea.”

He gave an almost-smile (couldn’t show too much cordiality), “I have a few of those every once in a while.” 

He then got a smug grin on his face, “Oh, and you might want to get some earplugs for tonight. . .paper thin walls and all that.”

“Jake,” you were stunned at the audacity. Your shoulders tightened up. “Seriously?”

He set his head back, raising his eyebrows up. A smirk raised his lips, “Nowhere on that rules list did you say I’m not allowed to bring women over. And I really can’t control whether or not I make them scream,” he set you with a stare, raising a brow. “And I’ve gotta say, that’s always been a pretty normal occurrence,” he paused. “And I most likely wouldn’t have been too keen on following a ‘no women’ rule anyway, so.”

“Asshole,” You scoffed, your thighs quivered. The disdain he caused you floated through your whole body. “A little full of yourself?”

“Alright then, don’t plug your ears,” his smirk only grew. “You’ll hear for yourself tonight. Post-breakup recovery fuck, y’know? Gotta get some of this lingering tension out of my system,” he shook his shoulders and arms out to emphasize his words.

Your skin grew angry goosebumps at the thought of everything he’d just said to you. You were amazed by him. Truly. 

Not in a good way. Not amazed in the sense he’d wanted you to be.

He turned on his heel to continue the walk to his room, and you just stood in your spot. Your bare toes dug into the carpet, waiting to hear his door click. 

Once finally alone, you let out a breath you’d apparently been holding. You shook your head at his repulsive words. You were utterly shocked that he would say any of that to you. What the heck? 

This interaction had shown you that it was obviously too much for him to be a pleasant human for an extended period of time.

And he had no issue making you feel completely on edge. 

Distasteful son of a bitch.

You wanted to go hide in your bedroom for the night. You didn’t want to chance running into him again.

You stomped to your room. You had had enough of Jake Kiszka for one night. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You downed the recommended 2-pill dose of melatonin that evening, but snuck in one extra with a giant swig of water. 

Jake had left about an hour prior and you’d be damned if he woke you up with any sex-related noises. 

You were ready to get some sleep anyway, completely tired after the stress you’d dealt with. Your doctor had suggested melatonin to induce necessary rest after any anxious episodes. 

You knew you were to blame for a part of the stress, sticking your foot in your mouth the way you had. But Jake was the main culprit of the stress.

And you were done with him ruling your emotions for the evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

And of course, the next morning, Jake was stuck in your head. 

You hated it. It wasn’t because you wanted him there. It was thanks to a ridiculous dream that had plagued you during the night.

Your sleep had graced you with a reminder of the moment you’d almost outed your knowledge of his past. But in the vision, you weren’t feeling the onslaught of nerves you’d originally felt in the moment anymore.

No, in this version of it, all you could focus on was the vision of his chest, how it had been heaving in the midst of his irritation.

And it wasn’t even a covered chest that haunted your dream. No, it was his chest that seemed to be persistently bare. The bronzed, silky-smooth chest you’d seen one too many times in the month he’d lived with you. 

You couldn’t understand how he was 24 years old and still didn’t know how to button his shirts past two buttons. It maddened you that he didn’t know how to button his entire shirt. His toned light brown, sun-kissed chest was distracting in a way you wished it wasn’t.

All you wanted was to escape your roommate. And now he was literally haunting your dreams. 

You had chosen to deny how you’d woken up with sweat on your forehead, hair stuck to your equally sweaty face. You weren’t going to let him have that control over you. Not even in your dreams.

And now, you were completely dreading spending the evening with him in any capacity. 

You just hoped Josh came armed with damn good booze for game night. You desperately needed to get out of your head.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: next chapter is game night! we’ll finally get introduced to sammy and danny <3

there is sooo much to come. i can’t wait to share more with you all. like i’ve previously mentioned, their story is quite the rollercoaster. our beloved roomies are both very stubborn . . . it’ll make for a grand ‘ol time! lmao

i hope you enjoyed!! plz message me & let me know what you thought! hearing from you guys is just so wonderful! let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters!! <3

taglist:

@joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @jaketlover, @writingcold, @jessicafg03, @gretavangroove, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @reesetrippingthelight, @lallisonl, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @Fretaganvleet, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @whollyfreeamongstthestars, @llightmyllovee, @sacredjake (even if it seemed to refuse to tag, i still tried - ugh! i apologize for any weirdness of the tagging. if i missed you, please let me know! i think i included everyone, but it's def possible i accidentally left someone out.)

[tarot-junkie]

Unnecessary brain dump:

My son has watched trolls band together probably 100 times.

Ariana grande ….while insanely talented….shes someone I could not be a fan of.

I’m tired of Olympic gymnastics coverage (coming from someone who used to be very into it). Done. Over it.

Fandom/unrelated/no one asked, no one cares, ramblings:

-timelines shift/change (it doesn’t matter, as long as conversations continue to happen). It’s two years, “awhile,” “fall,” “weeks ago,” etc.

-you don’t hear anything until someone has work to do. Then little snippets happen. Nothing else (really). Shut down of IG seems to in one part bc of how the coupling was received, and I can imagine that it’s easier to shut stuff down (as you enter a new phase), versus keeping it open and potentially navigating drama. It doesn’t seem all that unbelievable considering he wasn’t a social media fan when it didn’t work in his favor.

-the purpose of dropping some real, some fraudulent details to tumblr folks is to build a rapport (same reason to comp con tickets), utilize these small cost outlets. Sometimes the information is legit or true -ISH, sometimes it’s not. (Bc who is admitting they talk to tumblr as a celebrity).

Bearing in mind things can be very much real with these above scenarios. It’s just that the seemingly reactive nature of things, bungled launch, etc makes everything come off as inauthentic/inorganic.

There’s some whacked out things being said. And some people need absolute mental health checks.

[textbookz-n-sketchbookz]

Textbooks and Sketchbooks :)

Heyo!! It's me Marly/Scrunkly (Main blog is @scrunkalicious), and this is the writing blog for a story called "Textbooks and Sketchbooks"! MARTOR NATION RISE UP,,,,,,

This will be the official story/lore for Martor, Marly x Viktor WOOOWWW... and this will also be the easiest way for me to export lore to y'all :3

The story will take place before Arcane starts, and will eventually follow the episodes story when they happen (I CANT WAIT FOR SEASON 2). Sooommeee divergence from canon but we ball

The story follows an art student from Piltover's Academy, Marly!! Energetic, friendly and loud, Marly is always ready to chat and make new friends. She soon meets Viktor, intuitive and witty (i loooovee viktor). Blah blah they do stuff become friendz and they like art & science and maybe kiss and cuddle later on

Uhhh those like fanfic tag things that tell you what the story contains: Fluff (a lot), angst (a lot later), strangers/acquaintances to friends to lovers, maybe a bit of academic rivalry, some violence, discrimination (will add/edit as time goes on!!)

There will be some racism/discrimination scenes based off my own personal experience (I'm Filipino!!) sooo yeah,,,

ALSO. This will be an entirely SFW story. I don't plan on things getting too suggestive, but if anything happens to get a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 than I didn't originally planI WILL LET Y'ALL KNOW DW <33

UUUHHHH the story usually follows Marly's viewpoint but I may sometimes change the POV to Viktor sometimes!! When changing I'll use these fun lil borders that I drew <3 (they're so unnecessary but whatever, everything execpt the plush on marly'z border drawn by me, but the hexcore/gear/boat on viktor'z are directly from the arcane show)

Border for when changing to Marly's POV:

Border for when changing to Viktor's POV:

I will NOT be doing a taglist for this blog/story!! If you wanna be notified for new chapters just turn on notifications on this blog because I'll only be posting chapters here!

{MASTERLIST}

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

under the cut is me rambling abt this story lmao

UUUHH IM SO HAPPY TO FINALY BE PUTTING THIS OUT HERE,,, YALL GET THE FULL LORE <333 ill be writing as i go so im literally making up the finer detailz as time goez on lmao,,,

One thing I like about the Martor story is that, in the grand scheme of things, I'm getting you interested in a side-story. Compared to the story of Arcane, all things considered, Marly is a side character. Someone who just happened to know be in the right place, right time, right characteristic to end up knowing Viktor. With Arcane's plot, she could be considered a character maybe comparative to Mel (heeyyy gorgeous). I may or may not have seen a video a few days ago about video games that have you play as a side character okay anywayz YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY

[goodluckclove]

I migghtt start bombarding you with writing asks now, you don't have to answer them all! /pos Okay next one is about scene writing and transitions. It seems that anything longer than a few paragraphs, let alone a full story, starts winding off it any which way and slowly loses the themes and character writing, despite how much I plot. How does one go about crafting scenes that have good arcs and themes and everything and don't spiral off into hard-to-finish tangents? (I guess specifically what happens is that I feel like I have good ideas but my execution doesn't fully do them justice 😅

Also transitions! Specifically, within a scene, when one needs to cover one point and flow seamlessly into the next, even though with plotting it seems like there is a cause and effect, in writing itself I find it.. quite difficult, and any help would be much appreciated! thanks! <3

Prepare yourself for a lot of questions from my new colleague Unknowable, because they are deeply curious and I intend to hit all their points.

You'll notice a common theme in the next few answers that I'll just say right here. Consider it a thesis statement: it is very likely that you have been saturated with an influx of unnecessary, and often incorrect writing "advice". The process of writing is far vaster than what can fully be captured in an objective, comprehensive, bulletproof plan of How to Write. This is scary, maybe. But it's also good! It's a good thing!

Because you know how you worry that your scenes sort of peter out? Maybe your writing feels a little wayward and self-indulgent? Yeah man, that's fine. If it happens it happens. As a rule, I allow my first drafts to be very much as self indulgent as I want them to be. Just keep myself open to change and to exploring every angle that feels fun to me. And it does end up being very fun! Not everything I write in the first draft stays in the second, but it's all important.

I remember in the first draft of my last book I had to strike a lot of rambling, internal flashbacks that drew attention away from the moment. I don't regret writing it, though, because as I wrote it I learned more about the characters and it helped me find the path. It's all important and there are no rules! Your execution probably isn't going to be perfect the first go around and that's totally okay!

It could be someone strayed you in a weird direction in terms of plotting, because how you describe it is different from the flow of scenes - at least how I do it. You can watch a movie and note how each scene transitions. Maybe two lovers are meeting in a diner booth, having a rough conversation, maybe breaking up, and as one leaves the other watches them walk off through the window. Then we see them lying in bed, alone, later that night. There's a transition. Maybe you can consider it less of a plot-related cause and effect and more an emotional or tonal cause and effect.

Plot is a grand-scale thing though. Also most people's conception of plot is truly baffling to me. A plot can be very little things. A plot could be meandering until you reach a destination. That also counts. That's good too. But that's beside the point!

[our-future-is-up-to-us-2]

The Jackal

Whooaaaaa we're almost caught up I swearrrr WHOOAAA living on a prayerrr (Fic number 8 and it is currently the 9TH!) @narcosfandomdiscord

Enjoy <3

Prompt #11, Book Of Pit Stops: Rush

Word Count: 1.1K

Relationships: Charles "The Jackal"/Nuria

Warnings: SPOILERS! Spoilers galore!! Episodes 1-5 of this show have been watched by me, and thus, a patchwork of spoilers throughout this rambly fic! Beware if you're a spoilerphobe!

~ Read the fic under the cut ~

The Jackal lives in secret. He hides from everyone and everything.  

He dons disguises and becomes people who he’s not meant to be, for example, a certain Herr Thirsk, who, to The Jackal’s knowledge, may or may not be real. 

Passports are essential if he’s globetrotting. No one bats an eye at the switches, at the effortlessness of it all. If it says he hails from Germany, that’s where he’s from. Then France? He’ll be a Frenchman for a day, who cares?! 

The information is proper, organised, and it looks legitimate. That’s all that counts in The Jackal’s line of work: Efficiency, quality, and legitimacy. 

After all, someone is set on hiring him, paying him grand amounts of money to make as many kills as possible. A hitman does what he needs to do, whatever it takes to target the best of the best. 

He uses bespoke weaponry and state-of-the-art prosthetics. His materials, his safes, all of it, are top-notch. There’s nowhere in the business that he can fail, except for his own human error. 

He trusts his gunmaker to the ends of the earth, he trusts his aim to make the kills, and he trusts others to give him whatever he requires. 

Because, as he tells Nuria one sunny day in Cadiz, it’ll hurt the brand if people don’t pay him what he needs. It’s not all about the money, though, and even worse if people don’t follow his orders. 

If he sets instructions, they’ll be met. If someone fumbles, then they’re out of the game. 

The Jackal avoids taking unnecessary phone calls and explicitly warns his loveable Spanish relatives not to post whatever photos they take of him. As beautiful as celebrations and warmth and memories may be, he simply can’t risk being exposed. 

***

After the ordeal with Manfred Fest, a very classy and striking ordeal if he does say so himself, he’s attracted attention. Or, at least, a ‘killer’ has done so. A killer could be anyone, but only someone of his expertise could make the shot from 3815 metres away. 

He travels in taxis from one place to the next, keeping his language fluency intact with every country he visits. He passes Nuria after she’s dropped him off at the airport, but is his cover blown? 

If he’s not answering his phone, then it won’t be. 

Besides, he has a tingling, almost unwelcome feeling that his wife will find out. And, if she does? If the other Charles, Jackal’s in-law, helps her, then he’ll know.

He doesn’t have a safe without passwords, a lock without a key, or a room full of secrets without protection. 

A camera inside a prosthetic face. A marvellous touch. As his wife snoops around, horrified by what she’s seeing, he’s seeing her right back. 

It’s harmful to the relationship, detrimental, in fact, but he’ll just class it all as ‘industrial espionage’. You know how it goes, Nuria, a bit of spying, a bit of illegal activity, and… 

A lot of murder, but The Jackal doesn’t reveal that much.  

***

It’s so satisfying to see people at his mercy, to watch their trembling hands as they kneel before him. Whatever string of ‘oh, god, spare me, please, no!’ that escapes people’s mouths never deters him. Unless there’s something more to offer, The Jackal will do away with them. 

Man, woman, guilty, innocent… Doesn’t exactly matter. If they’ve misunderstood their obligations to him, then, their time is up. 

***

The Jackal bites back a laugh as he gets wind of recent news: A girl, one named Emma, dies in custody. The police are legally responsible. Whoever sent her into custody is feeling guilty for the rest of their lives. 

Isn’t it perfect, for the authorities to be in the wrong? In their attempts to catch a criminal, a killer, a hitman, they misstep. 

Well, they don’t just misstep. They’ve killed a daughter. They’ve ruined a mother, a father, a family. All of the girl’s friends will be devastated, all the good she hoped to achieve in life has been thrown into the gutter. 

He stares at the article for a while, never once losing his focus. He laughs, and laughs, and laughs. 

When Nuria catches him in the act, swiftly barging into his study, he hums and settles. The rush almost becomes too much, but he closes his laptop. 

Her gaze implores him to talk, so he does. 

Still, he demurs and deflects, “No, no, it’s nothing, really,” A certain twinkle in his eye reveals everything to her, “Well, if you must know, my work has just become very interesting. ” 

“You’re in that place again!” She hisses, but he remains unfazed, “You’re always there, and never here… Come on , Charles. Come back to me.” 

He leans back in his chair and shrugs, “I’m here, darling. I’m here. ” 

“You don’t get it,” She shakes her head, “Because, sometimes, I look at you, and I just see–” 

“What?” He intervenes with a lazy smile. A gentle tilt of his head. Charm, suaveness, everything in between, “Tell me. What do you see?” 

With a sigh, she decides she can’t help herself, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She holds onto him, lets her smaller body sink into his lap. 

“I’ll tell you what I see,” She whispers, “I see a motherfucker. ” 

“Oh, fuck you!” He replies, equally as quiet, and their lips meet not long after. 

It’s just one of the many games they play. Teasing, banter, time alone, they cherish it. Nuria can tell when he’s drifting away, off with the fairies of business and stocks and, well, whatever he actually does. 

So, it’s her job to bring him back to reality, to remind him of the people he has: It’s her and her love, it’s little Carlito, turning two years old tomorrow. 

He goes for long periods of time, doesn’t come back for a few days, then a week, then two. He tells her, over and over, the same sentiments: People are too inconsiderate, they have no empathy, he’ll be back as soon as his shifts are over. 

Whatever he does, the majority of it is out of her control. 

She can only hold onto him when he’s physically here, when Charles is in her reach. 

Otherwise, she is full of doubt, confusion, and emotions that extend beyond herself. Her family can only calm her so much. 

She needs Charles, the lover, the husband, the family man… Not Charles, the sketchy, flighty businessman. 

Not Charles the hitman, Charles the plotter, Charles the ruthless manipulator and assassin. 

‘Industrial espionage’ is all it is. And hopefully, that’s all she’ll ever know. 

[allmydokkuns]

the brainworms have decided it's time for another ramble so on tonight's menu is Lan Qiren, no not like that please do not consume someone else's fictional uncle without said fictional uncle's consent. Vague spoiler alerts for character backstory and plot IG?

The running motif (might be the wrong word? Coincidence maybe?) of "younger uncle having to step in to parent the next generation because someone died or is Otherwise Unavailable" is really obvious with Lan Qiren. Very unfortunate for him, and I don't get to see a lot of interpretations of him in fandom that expand beyond the "stickler for the rules suffocating teacher ish figure" that we see of him re: the Cloud Recesses arc from Wei Wuxian's perspective. Therefore I'm just gonna slap some text into this post about all the things we don't really know about him but some stuff I assume or infer based on some shit in my brain yeah.

Lan Qiren, birth name and age unknown, is the younger brother of Qingheng-jun (name and age both unknown), and the paternal uncle of the Twin Jades of Lan. We know this cause both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji address him as "shufu," which is the more formal version of the "-shushu" WWX uses for Jiang Fengmian. In the absence of any other known siblings or close blood relatives of the main branch of the Lan clan, this also automatically made him, from his birth until the birth and successful upbringing of (at least) his elder nephew, the sect heir to Gusu Lan. I say this because it's important context for the role he plays in both the sect and his nephews' upbringing.

I'll talk a bit about Qingheng-jun and how the choices he made re: Xichen's and Wangji's mother/their marriage completely ruined Lan Qiren's and his son's lives. I don't think we know much about Qingheng-jun and Qiren when they were younger until Qingheng-jun apparently meets his wife-to-be and the situation escalates until he married her to protect her from execution (?) and proceeded to punish their whole immediate family by choosing to go into seclusion as well. You might argue that it was a good thing he recognized what a disaster this all was and took some kind of punishment for it, but. But. As the oldest son and older brother, he serves as the future sect leader, role model for the disciples, and has the duty to not only lead the sect but also guide any siblings he has from "taking the wrong path," so to speak. His choosing to go into seclusion is a punishment, yes, but was completely unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. Even assuming his now wife was a guest cultivator of some kind, he would have been well within his rights to step back and allow the rules to run their course once she committed a crime, to be startled out of his infatuation (?) with her into realizing that maybe she wasn't a good choice (or the only choice) for the future sect leader's wife, do his penance, and then move on. So why didn't he? Love, panic or obsession?

His choice to be secluded himself with her can mean different things depending on how you interpret the Gusu Lan practice of seclusion. Is it physical seclusion only, or did he take it to the extreme and was completely hands-off for everything from sect affairs to his children's upbringing? Obviously he had kids with his wife but that would be allowable since you know, marriage and heirs. The fact that the kids' monthly visits to his wife are mentioned but none to him kind of suggests that he had a minimal role in his sons' lives. Also it's super weird in the context of filial piety and the importance of a father in that role ethic. Fortunately for plot purposes, this role (and the duties thereof) he so very conveniently vacates can also be fulfilled by Lan Qiren.

The visits to their mother could be excused under the guise of letting LXC and LWJ exercise their filial piety, i.e. their respect for their mother. But all other duties normally carried out by the husband and wife as well as the sect leader and sect leader's wife would fall on Lan Qiren and whatever sect members/servants/caretakers were appropriate. E.g., as a man, Lan Qiren cannot nurse his nephews until they're weaned, but can choose nursemaids and servants who have the right skillsets to care for very young children. When they're older but still not old enough to be granted courtesy names/live in their own households, he is the obvious choice for them to live with, so they can be taught the rules, proper etiquette, how to read/write, etc. Again, as an elder, this would be part of his purview as their uncle, but he would not be primarily responsible for these things in their lives if it weren't for the extenuating circumstances of his brother's disaster of a marriage. Also important -- it seems he's also the face of the sect and is entrusted with handling politically significant intersect matters such as the guest disciples and the whole incident with WWX punching Jin Zixuan, which tracks with him being the only other candidate in the main family to lead the sect in his brother's absence.

Politically Qingheng-jun would have been doing Qiren a favor because he wouldn't be as important otherwise as a second son, if it weren't for the fact that Qiren gets all of the thankless work with none of the recognition. Qiren's significance as sect heir expired as soon as his sister-in-law gave birth to two healthy sons, at which point he's just a placeholder until Lan Xichen comes of age, UNLESS both of his nephews die with no heirs. And by all visible criteria, he's done a fucking good job too! If he was power hungry and coveted his brother's position, he didn't have to do such a damn good job of raising his nephews that they became the first and second highest ranked young men of their generation, you know?

Speaking of heirs, why is Qiren raising his nephews alone? Given the familial and sect obligations he has on his plate, it would have been reasonable for the sect to shore up any instability by finding a good match for him posthaste, which would have the added bonus of giving any potential nephews a maternal figure in their everyday life to handle the manners and etiquette bit, at least. Depending on the amount of time between marriage drama and Xichen being born, I can think of a couple of reasons:

Gusu Lan came out the other side of marriage drama and collectively went, we're not doing that shit again, and conveniently does not give Qiren any marriage prospects.

The rest of the jianghu hears rumors about the marriage scandal and maybe isn't as eager to marry off daughters into Gusu Lan as they might have been otherwise (yes, Qiren isn't as attractive a prospect as a first son, but he's still unattached, unless he has a reputation that dissuaded prospects in the first place)

Lan Qiren came out the other side of marriage drama and internalized that trauma, or maybe wasn't the marrying kind anyway (see marriage dynamics of the other sect leaders in the Big Five), and went "oh fuck no"

Gusu Lan's elders saw that Xichen had a lot of potential from a young age, and decided marrying Qiren off with the obligations of his own wife, children and household would be distracting him from nurturing the sect heir(s once Wangji is born) that they already have, with special emphasis on Qiren teaching them The Right Way To Be A Lan and maybe even fobbing more stuff to do on him so he never has the time to court and get married. Normally such things would be under the watchful eye of Qiren's parents, or Qingheng-jun once their parents were dead, but as we've already established, sect and familial duties don't seem to be a priority for that guy so.

Depending on how shitty you wanna believe the Gusu Lan elders are, maybe Qingheng-jun made a deal with them that he would have no part in raising any children from his marriage to help protect the woman he loved, idk. Can you tell I'm not very sympathetic to him? As far as I can tell, he trapped his wife, his sons and his brother into the consequences of his own actions and is basically the whole reason for LWJ's tragic backstory™ because God forbid any sect heir in this series have a healthy father-son relationship, am I right?

And then Qiren has to watch his younger nephew get whipped to within an inch of his life for finally breaking the rules (that he taught Wangji) they lived under so disastrously, and then his older nephew is so torn up about all the fun, fun revelations from Guanyin temple that history repeats itself and Xichen shuts himself away and Qiren can only hope that time will help Xichen heal, because Wangji's gone as soon as he possibly can to chase the man he almost died for once already, and he's older and tired but he might as well be young again and holding A-Huan for a walk around the courtyard until he stops crying for all that everything else has changed.

Anyway. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk about Lan Qiren, Gusu Lan's original Lan er-gege and Tragic Lan Backstory™, I'm gonna drop some headcanons about him and y'all feel free to reblog, reply, whatever with y'all's thoughts.

Lan Qiren's likes, in no particular order:

Respectful students that are diligent and work hard.

Hearing his nephews play music together.

A good pot of tea after a long morning's work, just before training and between meetings, paperwork, etc.

Copying over manuscripts/poetry/what have you in his spare time

Poetry

Lan Qiren's dislikes, in no particular order:

People that rely solely on luck, talent or family background to gain accolades

Things being wasted, food, potential, time, etc.

The gentian house.

Having to wait until it's almost curfew to meditate in the rabbit meadow.

Splinters

[actualbird]

uh hey man u don’t gotta answer this ask but i wanted to send it in after seeing that post about like hobbies. i feel the same a lot about trying to do things and it’s incredibly frustrating. but idk if it’d help to tell you or not since it doesn’t help the “getting a good grade” aspect feeling, but i thought it was maybe worth it to tell you you’re one of the reasons i decided to pick up writing for tot and create a new writing blog and try to go back to doing something i love so much. your work has long inspired me and i hardcore look up to it, so to speak. but recently the other side of that coin was actually the fact that the breaks you take from writing inspire me more. i sometimes start to fret that i haven’t written in a while but then i think and think about how one of my favorite authors also takes breaks, sometimes really long breaks, and that it’s okay to take time between writing (or doing anything) because it’s not a competition or an emergency or really important in the grand scheme. i tend to not be the best at giving myself time to recover or take breaks when i start to not do as well, but the fact that you do has really helped me a lot.

idk if this was pointless or like um unnecessary to send but i wanted to tell you that something that’s been upsetting to you has still in some way been helpful and positive toward others, even if it’s just me, in hopes of maybe lightening that load a little from your shoulders. um im sorry again for sending this in and u don’t have to answer it or anything, but i thought maybe it could be helpful to tell you that something that’s been a struggle to you has still had a positive + slightly more healthy impact on me by showing me that if someone i look up to can take breaks or stop doing something entirely and fans like me will still stick around eagerly to see literally *whatever* you post and share, people would be willing to do the same for me and it’s okay to just take breaks from things or let them exist as hobbies and not goals to fulfill or deadlines to meet.

idk uhh sorry this got a bit rambly but i just wanted to tell you that in hopes it could maybe be something positive. thanks for consistently being a blogger i can be excited to see things from, and whatever u want to post or share or pursue it’s still something worthwhile. uhhh sorry again lol

anon oh gosh. first off, youve got nothing to apologize for cuz real talk, reading this made me tear up. like, literally, and it’s 5am here. tear up in a good way, i assure!!!!

im beyond honored that the stuff i make cld help you get back to making stuff yourself. a bunch of people have told me similar things in the past, and it never stops knocking me to the ground because god!!! GOD!!!!!! im so happy for you all, thank you for making stuff!!! and thank you so much for telling me. because so much of the time when i Do make stuff i constantly wonder what the point is or if anyone even likes it. so this means so much to me, it always does.

though nobodys ever told me that when im Not making stuff is similarly important. thats…..it's quite literally Never crossed my mind and it’s making me super duper emotional right now. whenever im not Making Stuff™, at best, i feel like im disappointing everyone who does find joy in the stuff i make, and at worst, i feel like ive Actively Tricked Everyone who has come here due to my writing and i shld be burned at the stake for not fulfilling my end of the transaction (yeah i have uhhhh NOT THE BEST view, to say the least, irt myself and online fanwork creation HJVSFHJSDVFJ im working on it) so u must understand……..this ask is this is the exact opposite of pointless to me. it means so so so fucking much to me.

im pretty sure im always gonna be battling the horrid Less Than Healthy Views Demon of “NO, KEEP MAKING STUFF ALWAYS ALWAYS” like til the end of time, but man, it seems like we’re all battling that. so if me taking a break can help u and maybe even others see Taking A Break as okay, then that makes me really really happy.

take a break if you need to, or if you want to. dont be scared to make stuff thats not the stuff people “came” to you for, just make whatever makes you happy. telling this to you and also to myself

thank you for sending this ask, anon. it's helped in more ways than i can coherently word :'3

[bourbon-ontherocks]

big up à redbones, bandit au grand cœur, who so graciously informs morgane her father’s in danger before drawing his last breath. pas rancunier pour un sou 👍 

big frown à klaus (btw, klaus? were they concerned we’d forget where he’s from if he didn’t have the most german name ever?) for traumatizing morgane’s entire family 😭😭😭 my heart was hurting so bad for the kids!!! brrrrrr. 💔 (in my head there’s an alternative version of this scene where klaus leaves before revealing himself because he didn’t pack enough bullets to eliminate everyone 😆) 

plot-wise, though, I’m concerned about serge’s hearing if he didn’t hear the handyman get shot from the attic 🤔

Hahaha, I guess Redbones had nothing to lose at this point, but yeah, it didn't make much sense he'd protect Serge lol!

And as for Morgane's family, I'm with you on this, it was absolutely uncalled for to bring the whole family in this, especially when they literally bring the whole family in, it's not like they were already there when Klaus happened. My theory is that, unless they were just aiming for gratuitous trauma, which is already despicable, this is a setup for a losing-her-kids-custody arc in season 4, which is even more awful, but eh, at this point I'm expecting any kind of terrible writing, gratuitous angst, and unnecessary trauma from this hell of a next season 🥺

@hemerae-ramblings 's catharsis bingo has never been more appropriate... 😈😩

And re Serge's hearing, maybe Klaus used a silencer for the handyman?

[theocrabalar]

Is the Browning Hi-Power relevant today?

The venerable Browning Hi-Power, arguably the very definition and first of the so-called "Wonder Nines" from when double-stack 9mm handguns started hitting the scene. Developed for the French Army Pistol Trials of 1935 where the requirements were to be able to hold more than 10 rounds and kill a man at 50 meters (55 yards) The GP35, Grande Puissance meaning "High Power" in French was the name given as it had such immense firepower of being able to hold 13 rounds of 9x19 parabellum, which was quite hefty in those days. But this isn't Forgotten Weapons, this is just me rambling and double checking with the Wikipedia page that I'm right.

Today we'll be looking at what the BHP brings to the table in modern terms.

For actual shooting, we can start with how the trigger is mushy, like pushing your finger into almost frozen wet sand. God knows how many pounds that trigger pull is. And that is after removing the magazine disconnect which makes the trigger pull significantly lighter. Yes, this gun comes originally with a magazine disconnect, which makes it so that you can't make the hammer drop if you pull the trigger without a magazine inserted. The magazine disconnect can be easily removed, but it's reduces your out of the box readyness and is an unnecessary hassle in the modern day. And modifying the trigger today requires a steady hand and a file, far from the modularity and ease which comes with say a Glock 17. The magazines are also another peculiar quirk for these guns. 20 rounds and bigger magazines have been made, but have fallen out of fashion, so they are quite difficult to find now. For my own journey of BHP ownership, I happened into a 20 round magazine one time and sold it again before I knew better, never to have seen one available again. The original magazine capacity is 13 rounds. Today, I'd argue the standard capacity of the pistol is 15 rounds, provided you use modern produced MECGAR magazines. They appear to be identical, except, with a shiny finish and a shortened follower making up most of the effort to increase capacity, which makes the modern magazines still seat flush like original magazines, but you end up with a +2 boost in capacity which is real nice. MECGAR also makes +2 basepads for their pattern of BHP mags, which now bump you up to 17 rounds of capacity, which makes you now reach something resembling modern capacity. Still requires seeking out these mags and basepads in specific, whereas for a Glock 17, 17 rounds is your standard. G17 magazines will in expensive areas run you about $45 / €45. MEC-GAR BHP mags + the extension gets you to $99 / €99, and there's very little of extending the magazines even further. So again, the BHP has fallen to wayside. The hammer bite of the gun, can be a turn-off for some, and a turn-on for others. My second BHP has a no-bite hammer installed from when I bought it used. It removes the issue, but it's yet another $100/€100 part that you don't even need to think about today.

With my kinda big hands, I still get a slight marking from the hammer when I fire in excess of a 100 rounds a day. As for disassembly, I can never agree with myself if I'm putting in the recoil spring upside down or not. Meanwhile with a modern handgun, like an M&P or the Glock, it can't be installed that wrong. Now depending on which model you have, you might be stuck with a fixed front with, which means you can't install your favorite fiber optic front sight that easily. And if you want a red dot, as far as I know, no one makes a red dot mounting plate for the BHP. Some companies do cut BHPs for optics, MKIII Firearms in Las Vegas have put out plenty of good work on their youtube and instagram of them doing fantastic work on BHP pistols, but again, this is custom work, we prefer user-serviceable out of the box solutions here. Any modern 9mm pistol today will either have optics plates available, have an optics ready variant available or in some cases even come with the dot already mounted. My person BHP sights look like they are cut out of a toilet paper tube someone stuck on top, requiring two screws to be adjusted if I want to adjust windage. Now, for the modern day, we see more and proliferation of equipment to make fighting and shooting in the dark more easy than ever before. On a stock BHP, you don't get night sights, you can't mount a gun light, you can't mount a red dot nor light. Meanwhile modern bargain bin sketchy turkish import pistols will have those features, showing how basic and necessary they are today.

Threaded and or ported barrels are also a specialty item, yes, they are out there, but you are going to be looking quite a bit more and dealing with longer wait times.

Are you a left or a righty? If you are left handed, you better start practicing even more to be right handed. As far as I know, the magazine catch is right hand only (left side of the gun) and so is the slide release. The safety can be modified to be ambidextrous tho.

Holsters. So for a Glock/M&P/Sig 320, you are going to get holsters out the wazoo for ever possible solution and operation.

For a Browning Hi-Power, I can't even recall ever seeing a kydex holster. This severly limits you in how you can carry the gun. Surely, there are specialty shops who can custom make you that kydex holster with the Taylor Swift pattern on it for your BHP, but it's still not an off the shelf solution. I personally use a Bianchi M12 or a Hogue Powerspeed holster whenever I'm out on the range with my BHP.

And with the advent of chassis based pistols like the SIG P320, or the new modularity of the Glocks with the 45 and 47 pistols being or being close to full size, but using G19 recoil spring assemblies, allowing you to mix and match slides, so you can perhaps nestle that compensator tighter, or run a short slide for a faster cyclic rate but still a full size grip for use with an optic. Out of all of these options, on the Browning Hi-Power, you get nothing. Again, custom jobs are possible, but now we are reaching into really far out there territory where people rarely go.

As for the rails. Yes, the Recover Tactical sleeve/frame/grip thing exists. But it looks butt-ugly and crashes with your style. I also don't know about any holsters that will fit it. (running a Black Hawk Omnivore holster) might circumvent this issue.

The tiny safety as well, yes, after market safeties are available. But Due to the weight of the trigger pull, you could almost pull the logic of revolvers and argue that the safety can be completely deleted. But what about FNs new gun?

You are still left with a very barebones gun missing many features. And the new BHPs have even less of an aftermarket since they are re-engineered to be slightly better, leading you to unfortunately distancing yourself from what is already an established aftermarket for the BHP.

But what about Girsans gun?

They seem interesting, but with foreign imports that add features, holster compatibility seems like an afterthought that hasn't hit them just quite yet.

What about Nighthawk?

I ain't got that kinda cash, fam.

What about Springfield?

I have very little experience with them, but they seem to fall in the same category as the old ones and the new ones from FN, still a barebones gun.

Conclusion:

If you think the Browning Hi-Power is a cool pistol and you want one as a historic relic or a range toy, I am 100% supportive of it. But as a modern duty/combat pistol, it is surpassed in every single way by the most basic of low budget handgun. I am after all on my second Browning in the journey that is ownership of slightly out there handguns. I shoot my 1977 produced gun in competitions still and thoroughly enjoy it despite all of it's glaring flaws.

[atbgauge]

writing this on my phone and so naturally i'm gonna ramble hope its coherent... anyways thoughts on wuwa yaaay

there are story spoilers for 1.0 so do not bother reading if you have not completed it yet

i wonder what the hell they were even thinking in regards to releasing wuwa the way it did this year. i remember when rumors about the may release date were coming around and i didnt believe them because i felt like that'd be too soon, and that they'd probably release june earliest but around september latest but look where we are now HRRKFJFKF

i knew to keep my expectations low especially after participating in the beta and idk i dont think they'd rewrite and then have to reprogram & rescript and reanimate according to the new writing. i am very disappointed they went with the mass appeal route rather than giving us uhmmm something good and new. i know someone out there is gonna say "well its a mobile gacha game" but idgaf thats not really an excuse to me and i still think you can make something worthwhile and still deliver an interesting message

i dont think i'm ever gonna get the same creativity that f7d had but it'd be nice if these gacha game developers tried like... also like even pgr was more creative and this kinda isnt the post for it but i liked the beginning chapters idgaf. anyways idk i just wish they kept the original gloomy atmosphere as they teased wuwa and maybe get rid of rover or like. idk just dont make them self inserts for us and just make them actual characters or something. i'd rather see yangyang as the main character like we see how capable and knowledgeable she is and then she gets thrown to the side. oh well idk because of its format and its shift towards mass appeal and following the trends of today... we got this kind of game instead

genuinely there are some really cool moments in terms of animation, environment/set design, technology, 3d modeling but idk it kinda ends up being a mess for me because of the really poorly written story

acts 1-4 are idgaf central except 3/4 i guess because thats when scar appears or whatever and then we confront him and then we get that grand reveal that we'll be facing jue soon. scar..... idk i think he is definitely interesting and the fractsidus thing is cool too but we only really get to know them on a surface level and how they want us to join their side to cause the end of the world basically and they want to be in control and they want to worship whatever lifeforms that come from bringing the lament but idk just seems. not that all interesting

5...... is our introduction to black shores with a brief fan service moment which was kinda weird as fuck and then the second half is the experiments the savantes were creating for the tacet rain (whatever the fuck thats called) and i kinda didnt care for it too much because it just reminded me of earlier acts and its just more background on the lore and the 3 million terms it throws at you

6........ okay i actually sorta kinda liked this one because we kinda just got right into it but it still felt off to me. the game does literally tell you that an outbreak is gonna happen but it kinda just happens too quickly for me? i guess we got that brief moment with aalto looking outside and the retroact rain was forming and then cut to jiyan and getting more lore on him and the history of huanglong (which is a nice set up for his character quest later) and then it jumps back to us helping out in jinzhou's defense lines and everybody is there so it Feels like we're all contributing to fighting off the tacet discords

and the. there's the one part where we create a battle plan basically and that just felt so unnecessary like. what is the point of making rover do that just let it be an animated scene where they all discuss this together?? also jiyan YOURE THE GENERAL so YOU can do that yourself and those irrelevant npcs like that was a waste of time and if you select the wrong choice anyways rover talks it out in his head why thats the wrong thing and expects you to choose the correct one so its all very stupid

i mention this to say.... there are some very unnecessary cuts like this throughout all acts. like the heron fight before getting into dreamless' domain has a fade to black just for jiyan to say a singular line like "ok lets move foward" basically then fade to black and then back to gameplay like... why could that not have been a simple voice over line like in other quests. and again for that battle plan thing was just very unnecessary just animate that shit out or whatever. the cutscenes in this game are actually surprisingly very nice and they cut into gameplay pretty well sometimes so i dont understand why they just... didnt do more of that. i dont know why theyre not considering the execution of these things and the intention as well

idk hopefully they do more creative things, they've done that with pgr and i know pgr was made with unity and wuwa is unreal but idk like... we couldnt have finetuned things more??? we cant take more time to create some cool set pieces for this game and have cool animated events and cool programming/scripting???

i also hope kuro addresses optimization and localization issues too. i am amazed they still managed to screw up this games launch in the same way they messed up pgr's launches in all its servers its kinda amazing really

anyways stopping here because its late and this is getting long heres to hoping 1.1 is good and thanks if you read this far HRFGJHDJF

[higheldertala]

the star beast commentary

a bit of a mixed bag! some bits i liked, some bits i didn’t! but i wouldn’t be a dw fan if i wasn’t complaining so let’s go ✌️

the opening is awful!!! omg this is so bad. the directly talking to camera for exposition is 😖😖😖 cringe…

and the full shot of david tennant just standing on a green screen to the left of screen 😭😭😭 what is going on??

they could have just done a flashback montage? surely it would have been better than this?? idk i don’t care about new viewers what can i say

‘once upon a time lord’… cringe 😖 shut up

also this is all so pointless because fourteen literally repeats all of this exposition to shirley later!!!

title sequence! they are okay. maybe slightly overdone on the animation, i don’t know if the logo fits in well with it? will it grow on me? idk

the rtd1 era title sequence is still the elite one for me.

camden market! been there 😉

i feel like the doctor runs a very long way to help what would be a stranger with some boxes, i think the bumped into person gag would work fine (sorry this really nitpicking isn’t it)

the ‘what what what’ gag doesn’t get any funnier the more you do it russell 😭

‘never trust a man with a goatee’ the master brainrot in me says this is a reference to delgado!master

‘woman in the shop’, ‘man in the post office’ it’s all the master, i’ve connected the dots 😏

‘you can wear a suit that tight up to the age of 35 and no further’ 😂😂 russell you are so unserious

‘grand master/ mistress‘ more master reference 👀👀👀

also great to see we’re still making jokes about the doctor’s gender, im so glad we carried that on from the previous era(!) shut up boomers!!

the legacy of nerys 😂

living in london must be a nightmare if you live mortgage free and still can’t afford to live 😭 cost of livves crisis indeed

the deadnaming of rose was awful and really just unnecessary. like we didn’t need to know that knowledge at all

i understand the sentiment of wanting to show the existence of transphobia in society but idk i don’t think we need to see it in every piece of media that features a trans person (not to say this doesn’t exist, im sure there’s media out there!). i think trans people deserve to watch media where they don’t have to be reminded of the horrible discrimination they face daily. especially with shows that are escapism like doctor who

lovely to see donna being a fiercely protective and supportive mum tho

the sonic creating a screen and interface is so silly. whyyy 😭 it’s not necessary. i don’t actually mind not seeing a visual of the sonic readings the doctor sees

maybe the exposition dump of the doctor getting his old face back and the donna situation would be fine if this aired a week after potd but we’ve had this same ass conversation for the past 13 months and im so sick of hearing it

maybe this is just preference, but sometimes i feel like we treat different incarnations as different entities to an extent? i don’t know i don’t think it (regeneration) would be such a big deal to timelords themselves. but that’s my opinion, we know russell think very grandeur-ly of regeneration. i guess it doesn’t matter and i think this dialogue probably fits in as exposition for audience about the previous incarnations of the doctor so idk ignore this rambling i guess

i will say i don’t like the reducing incarnation down to a single trait. and 13 just being referred to as ‘woman doctor’ 😖😖😖 same vibes as people referring to missy as ‘woman master’ 😭

when i say i want doctor who to talk about/ explore gender… this ain’t it

sylvia slapping 14 is awful and unnecessary. the companions’ mums slapping the doctor gag still isn’t funny russell, it’s just assault.

‘space rat’ ‘ferret from mars’ ‘mad paddington’ i love donna 😂

it’s so sad to see them talk about wilf in context of bernard cribbins passing away. i thought he might have had a dedication at the end of the episode. maybe he will for the giggle if that’s the episode with his scenes in?

it’s such a boomer thing to do the whole gen z accusing ’you’re assuming x pronouns’ 🙄

the sonic creating shields. FUCK. OFF. this is silly!!!! why is sonic so fucking overpowered now it’s ridiculous!! please stop with the sonic pleaseeeeee. this is worse than 13 using it to scan everything constantly 😭

the doctor giving donna the sonic subconsciously was very cute though

‘resonating concrete’!! i love this reference very good very good

the meep running across the doorway was funny

the barrister wig is so cringe 😖 please stop i know it’s a reference to the 4th doctor but uhhhh… just no. it’s almost as bad as the sontaran chocolate joke 😖

the sonic can now teleport people as well? 😭😭😭 paiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

so glad to see everything can be solved with a wave of the sonic, nothing fucking changes there then(!)

im not sure what to think about the weapons in shirley’s wheelchair, i think it would be best to consult wheelchair users on what they think on this

donna calling him the doctor 🥹🥹🥹

a glass wall dividing the middle of the room is such a plot contrivance… what?? why on earth would this ever exist on a ship??

‘who cares about me? i do!’ 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

there’s so much technobabble in this climax, uhhh it’s way too much to me, it’s overkill it really is

on first viewing i nearly cried at donna ‘dying’ knowing full well she lives 🥺 it’s so great to feel something again watching doctor who

14 cradling donna’s body is so heartbreaking and then him not caring if he dies 😭😭😭

i was so happy to see the meta crisis had passed onto rose, that was cool

i don’t understand the ‘binary/ non-binary’ bit, it doesn’t add anything to the explanation, just rose being donna’s child makes sense enough

‘the doctor is male and female’ i don’t get this at all, i feel like we’re adding gender to where it doesn’t need to

‘and neither and more’ i agree this sentiment more.

i would presume the boss is the toymaker, but the in-vision commentary for the episode says david doesn’t know their identity and idk if they were just joking or if this boss is someone entirely different

‘it’s a shame you’re not a woman anymore cause she’d have understood’ first of all… cringe, second god such a fundamental misunderstanding of 13’s character 😖

every reference to 13 in this episode is just to bring up that shes a woman 🙃🙃🙃

‘something a male presenting time lord will never understand’ shut! up! boomer! this is one of the cringey-est lines in the show omg. also so stupid to think the doctor has immediately forgotten their perspective of the world as 13??? literally doesn’t make sense, time lords wouldn’t see gender this way?

this make much better sense by just saying the doctor wouldn’t understand ‘as a time lord’ and not a human, i mean the resolution is still naff but this would make it slightly better by not adding this gender aspect for like no reason

the resolution of the meta crisis of ‘just letting is go’ is so stupid!!! this completely undermines the ending of journeys end!! at least the trend of undermining previous events in anniversary specials carry on(!) at least russell only doing to this to own work this time… but still

why can’t just spilting the meta crisis between two people be enough? i’d buy it.

so by ‘letting go’ donna and rose aren’t part time lord anymore?? do they still have the memories/ knowledge of the doctor?? slightly unclear

14 and donna making pouty faces at sylvia 😂

i said it before but yeah tardis interior bad 😖😖😖 why is it all white? 😭

at least 12’s interior can sleep at night knowing it’s still the goat

very cute to see david tennant doing zoomies tho

14 and donna fangirling aw ☺️

donna spilling coffee on the console was so funny 😂 honestly might be my favourite bit of the episode

booooooo disney logo at the end :/

concluding thoughts: it was good, i did enjoy it, although there was quite a lot of cringe in it for me. and i think the gender stuff was very clumsy done (even if rtd has good intentions), it really didn’t land and just didn’t add anything. seeing the doctor and donna again was very comforting, there was definitely a warm blanket of nostalgia that certainly carried the episode, i would guess the story might not appeal to me as much without them im sure. i didn’t notice the directing, so it did a good job, very glad to see that!! i liked rose, it certainly great to see a trans woman in doctor who and im so happy for that! im sure she’ll definitely be a good addition if (when) she comes back for ncuti’s run. i love donna of course! always and forever my queen, such a joy to see her! i didn’t expect anything less. the other negatives ive discussed, the sonic being wayyyyy overpowered is certainly annoying and the tardis reveal was underwhelming for me unfortunately. but im very excited to see the upcoming episodes, hopefully it will only go up from here. will be clowning myself this week that either sacha or peter will be in the next episode! 😅

have i done ratings out of 10 before? idk this would probably sit around a 7? maybe. could have been tweaked just to bump up the rating but what can i say, a massive improvement from the ch*bnall era and for that im certainly happy!

[moiraiinesedai]

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I just have so many feelings about soft!Moiraine and soft!Siuan in their hut. Please forgive my rambling but I needed to get this out.

Moiraine’s been trained to be this stoic person. Not unfeeling. Not cold. But just someone who cannot show emotions. This would’ve meant something bad happening to her in the Sun Palace. She was then brought to the White Tower where again, showing emotion is so taboo and frowned upon. This state of mind… of being really, has been engrained in her for the longest time. How would she know how to act like anything else?

Through the course of her stay in the Tower, we see that she develops the most unlikely friendship with a fisherman’s daughter. The girl is light, open - able to speak freely and not afraid of doing it. Curses like a sailor, but this just endears Siuan to her more. Siuan shows her what things could be like. What life could be like. She didn’t always have to feel as if she was playing political chess. Life didn’t always have to feel like something she was fighting, but something she was living.

On the other hand, we get Siuan who experiences the total opposite of Moiraine’s life. She’s a daughter of the River. She is free, she is outspoken. They don’t have much, but she is alive. Come that unfortunate day she’s separated from her father as he sends her off to Tar Valon. In The White Tower, Moiraine always reminds her that behind the grandness of this place is a menace - there are plots and tricks and mindgames. So many things you need to navigate to be able to survive. You couldn’t always speak your thoughts. You couldn’t always do what you want. One wrong move could be your downfall. Developing powers aside, this training helps her rise to the position of Amyrlin Seat where the need to maintain this alternate persona is imperative to keep detractors at bay.

The strain is great on both of them, but entering their hut where it’s just the two of them, the masks, the pretense… these are all unnecessary. There is no Moiraine Sedai or Siuan Sanche, the Amyrlin Seat. They are just simply Siuan and Moiraine.

Light as feathers. Bright as the sun.