#unless things get very bad
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i think procrastinating my work and playing video games for six and a half hours might have fixed me unironically
#(i started persona 4.)#for context im not really someone who is good at taking breaks. or resting when i still need to do work#i feel like i need to work until everythings done or i feel like i havent earned a break#part of that is just being very adhd so i set a rule for myself about that when i was a kid and im now unable to break it really#unless things get very bad#like rn where i was basically working almost nonstop besides sitting despondant on my friends couch for an eveninng#for like two weeks.#and it wasnt like i wasnt having fun but i wasnt engaging in hobbies that make me feel like a human being rather than a work output machine#yay i love video games#its stupid but i didnt have any hobbies outside of making something which is so inherently tied to my self worth and also like. now career.#sorta#so ive been trying to let myself have an actual hobby thats not about doing something for myself or others#and every time i start to lose that its like. oh no im sentenced to video games for an evening. actually flipped a switch in my brain#i am normal and functional and not programmed strangely in response to my brain#i am not a workaholic. affirm affirm affirm
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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every year people get angry when ao3 requests donations but honestly in a world where almost all spaces online are slowly being eaten by corporations which censor the content on those sites, having a fan-run fan-sponsored place where people can create gay art without fear is great
#ao3#i understand the frustration when donation posts are not getting funding#while ao3 does#but ultimately you can't control how people spend their money and having a space like this for#people to preserve writing even if its silly fanfiction is a good thing#archives are very useful and important and preserving a space of the internet for works created out of joy and passion#is not a bad thing#urging people do donate to any random donation post instead of ao3 is reckless when it's incredibly hard to verify#the source of the donation posts and whether its legit#unless of course you know the person in question
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"I don't enjoy solitude."
I was thinking about this line and I find the context of it really interesting because on the surface it suggests that Echo doesn't like being by himself, which is true, but the conversation wasn't about Echo being alone. Omega was asking him if he wanted to join in with some meditation, and that's when Echo said he doesn't like solitude. It isn't just being by himself physically. It's being left alone with his own thoughts that really gets to him.
And it's so much of why Echo never sits still. He's always with someone or doing something because it's how he escapes being inside his own head. The only time I can think of where Echo is just sat by himself, not actively doing something, is here
And it's not exactly giving "yay fun happy Echo times". It's more "depressed and thinking about all of his dead brothers times."
This is why he's always doing something. Not just to save his brothers but because the one thing Echo can't do is sit still and do nothing. He can't retire, he can't go and live a chill life on Pabu because this man hasn't found a way to temper his own thoughts. He just keeps going and going and going because stopping means confronting what's in his head and he is undoubtedly going to spiral.
And I think that's partly why Hunter is a little hesitant about Echo staying in the Rebellion. It isn't just about the fact that the Empire is too powerful, or that Echo has a chance of being KIA, it's also about the fact that Echo will just run himself into the ground. There's only so long he can keep it up for and one day he's going to hit his limit.
I don't know what the end is for Echo. The only way he's going to kick his feet up and retire is when he actually heals enough to not go into a depressive episode or a panic attack every time he isn't distracted. Yes, Echo is better than he was when he was first rescued, but realistically this man has done almost fuck all actual processing of anything he's gone through.
Because it terrifies him.
And that's so valid. But when everyone in the fandom is trying to work out where he is or what happens to him, I genuinely don't know. I strongly believe he will stay in the fight for as long as he can. But how his story ends? I can't say.
Edit: I want to clarify that I don't think Echo is only in the fight purely as an escape mechanism. I just think it'd definitely a big player in why he never seems to stop.
#sometimes working is the only way you can keep your mind off things#and it can bring a sense of normality#but never processing things isn't good#and echo constantly runs away from his own thoughts#don't get me wrong#he's very in tune with his motivations and his beliefs#he stands by his opinions and will definitely speak his mind#but when it comes to his past?#unless it's about how he doesn't want others to be in the same position#he very rarely talks about it#star wars#the bad batch#the bad batch echo#tbb echo#arc trooper echo#ct 1409
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ‘its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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looks like we've lost internet and i'll need to conserve my phone battery in case we lose power so i will be signing off for now. hopefully i will be back tomorrow morning to inform you all of my survival so until then. i love you all and will see you on the other side o7
#it's been raining pretty heavily since i woke up this morning and the wind has picked up in the last few hours#i'd say maybe tropical storm/cat 1 conditions right now?#so things are still not that bad really where i am#it's not supposed to actually make landfall until overnight though so i'm sure it will continue to get worse#as i mentioned before we are very safe from flooding so unless all the rain causes a sinkhole ir smth we're probably good on that front#anyway#with any luck i will check in again tomorrow
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Third time the charm?
I am back! @spotaus
Look I got the week off and I am sick. there is very little else I am going to do except game, write and watch vods. So here I am again!
Back to filling up the, in my mind, holes in the story so far before we continue on!
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
*------------------*
Dust looks at the many books before him as he tries to think of what to get for Nightmare. Nightmare meanwhile is being a good babybones and stays by Horror eating ice cream.
Dust continues to stare at the books. Trying to think back. What did six year olds have to learn at this point anyway? And how far ahead of that is Nightmare?
Dust knows that Nightmare is smarter than the average six year old. That is a given. Dust knows his vocabular and reading skills are also far above average.
Dust just isn't sure how far certain skills and knowledge got reversed for him.
"Still no luck?"
Dust blinks out of his staring and looks up at Horror "What?"
Horror nods to the books, Nightmare easily held in one arm against his shoulder. Nightmare looks even tinier in Horror's hold and Dust already thinks Nightmare is smaller for his age than he should be.
Smarter but smaller.
Dust shrugs and turns back to the shelf he had been searching "Not sure on his skills."
Horror hums and looks at the books himself. Dust turns back to the options and thinks. They are still moving and universe hopping a lot making it impractical to take too many. One or two at most. That way they can at least start with some classes.
Horror turns to him and Dust looks up to show he has his attention. Horror nods towards the shelf "test level?"
Dust shakes his skull "I could but to specific." if he happens to pick a subject Nightmare still knows about it would set Nightmare up for more difficult classes, even while Nightmare may not be ready for all of those.
Horror hums in understanding as he searches the shelf.
Dust turns back again and thinks. They should at least get a math book. Math is after all to train your brain and problem solving skills. Which would be helpful. Probably basic add and substractions. He searches the shelf and picks out the book that looks promising.
Horror looks at the book before nodding and turning back "What else?"
And that is the problem isn't it? Because most subjects are still too complex for Dust's taste to get. history and geography while both would probably interest Nightmare both are very universe depended and just teaching him stuff about a world they may not even stay in would just be a waste of time.
Horror nudges his shoulder and once Dust looks at him he nods towards the english section "He likes poetry."
Dust blinks and nods. Maybe that is fine? He is already for ahead with english anyway. Maybe giving him something to work and read which is familiar and liked by him while they struggle through math together will be good for his motivation? Dust nods to Horror and walks over there.
Dust frowns at all the titles. He knows very little about this kind of stuff. He searches the story and finds a store clerk and walks over to them "Hello."
The person jumps and turns quickly "oh! Hi! I am sorry i didn't notice you... euh... what can i help with?"
Dust nods to the poetry books "Want a book."
The person blinks and nods "okay.... are you looking for a theme? Or a certain writer? A specific age or focus?" they walk towards the right shelf and look back at Dust.
Dust frowns and glances over at Nightmare nad Horror. Nightmare shrugs and hides his face while Horror looks unsure himself. Dust thinks for a moment "Need a book for the babybones. He already has one." Dust can't remember the name or writer of the book.
The clerk smiles and takes out a thin book with easy rhyming "This should be fine!"
Dust takes it and studies it and it doesn't feel the same. he shakes his skull and hands it back "There was a line in the book... of a poem he reads a lot..." and Dust has read a lot to him. "It went something like 'The dark goes deep but it is no end. Because in the night broken things mend. A time to rest and time to heal, it is the moment when we have a meal.'" Dust frowns as he tries to continue "something something... then later 'The night holds and the night protects. hidden away with all its gems. Holding the stars and letting those shine. until...' and that is what i remember from that..." and he waits.
The clerk frowns "That kinda seems like a few writers from the great depression..." they search the shelf and pull out an older looking book. They hand it over and frown "It seems a bit complex for a tiny child though..." and they shoot a smile in Nghtmare's direction. Not that nightmare is looking at any of them.
Dust looks through the book and nods "I think this will work..." it seems more on par of the book that Nightmare has been reading.
They go to the counter and Dust pays for the two books.
Dust and Horror leave the store together. The person says something but Dust isn't paying any attention to them as he checks the math book. the poetry book already in his bag.
Horror looks a bit embarrased and Dust frowns "What is wrong?"
Horror shrugs and rubs his cheek sheepish "Just... the what that person said."
Dust frowns as he glares back at the shop "Something bad?" he can go back and make them pay easily enough-
Horror holds up his one free hand "no no! Nothing like that... just..." and he shrugs as he keeps a tight hold on Nightmare. Seems like Nightmare is getting fussy. meaning either he is tired or hungry and he goes to acting grumpy because that is easier to hide behind than admitting he needs something.
Dust blinks back and nods at Horror "If you are sure-"
"Horror! Dust! Wait up!"
Dust freezes and glares "Oh are you fucking with me." That are the fucking stars. shit. He looks at Horror and sees that Horror made the same conclusion and that Nightmare is frozen in his hold.
They share a look. Dust is holding unto too many things to do the same as he did before and he doubt he can use the same tactic twice to get them out.
They have both been spotted.
Horror looks at Nightmare and clearly gets an idea as he pulls Nightmare back a bit "Stay still and don't move."
Some confusion brekas through the panicked look but Nightmare nods and that is all Horror needed as he lifts his shirt and just puts Ngihtmare under it nad IN his ribcage.
Moments later horror has the shirt on normally again and Nightmare isn't in view at all.
Right. Nightmare is small enough to be hidden like that-
running steps and Blue and Dream stop by them. Blue pants "FInally! Am I happy to see you!"
Dust and Horror share a confused look and Dust frowns "Since when?"
Blue looks a bit sheepish and looks at Dream. Dream looks very uncomfortable as he rubs his hands "I... euh... I was wondering... euh..." he looks around and spots the books Dust is holding "oh! Getting things for your little one?" and he smiles.
Dust nods and only after agreeing he remembers what Cross said last time they came across the Stars.
Dream nods once he realises that Dust isn't going to speak "Right! Yes. That is amazing! I... I see everything is well? How is the little one?"
Blue nods "We realised you never told us the little guy's name..."
Dust knows he is glaring as he speaks slowly "He is doing fine." and he stops there. shooting them a challenging look.
Blue coughs in his hand before looking at Horror "sup!"
Horror however looks many times more annoyed then Dust feels. Probably because Horror right now feels the nervous and anxious magic of Ngihtmare a lot more directly than they feel when they are just holding him. Putting him more on edge.
Blue gives a slow nod and looks away "Right..."
Dust raises a brow "Did you want anything specif or just wanted to waste our time?"
Dream flinches before smiling "I... I did have a request... I was... I was wondering... If you guys could ask Nightmare to meet with me?"
Dust freezes for a moment before his glare gets worse "Why the fuck would we do that? Just so you can lure him into a trap? Hunt him down some more?"
Dream shakes his skull quickly "I just want to talk..." he rubs his arm. "It is... personal."
Horror crosses his arms "I remember this happening once before." Dust nods and glares himself. it had been a whole thing where Dream tried to stage an intervention about Nightmare needing to be better and see that there are other ways to continue on instead of this path of hate he had set on.
The fact Dream had gone it to an adult Nightmare was bad. The fact that they now knew that their tiny babybones boss was in there the whole time just makes it worse.
Drema looks pale and shakes his skull "It isn't liek that! and... I know i shouldnt have done that back then either! I... I didn't have all the facts and information but I need to talk with nightmare about it-"
Killer appears and has his knife right by Dream's chin "Don't bother. You try to go near Boss ever again and we will end you." Killer's voice is low and dangerous. "We haven't been doing shit to your precious multiverse. leave us alone."
Dust watches the standoff when Cross joins his side and looks him and Horror both over worried and anxious. A small whine starts to leave his throat when Dust signs that Horror has Nightmare hidden. making sure to use their personal coded signs for it. Cross relaxes and leans against him as the tension disappears.
Dust looks back at the standoff to see that Dream has backed up, still looking pale and now heartbroken as well. Blue seems to be trying to reason with Killer but you have more luck reasoning with a pig in the mud than trying to get Killer to stop doing what he wants.
Dust raises his voice a tiny bit "We are leaving." the other three nod and Dsut looks at the two Stars "Stop bothering us." this was already the third time they happened to be in the same universe and Dust did not want to make it a fourth.
They quickly leave and once out of sight make a portal somewhere else. They hide away and quickly check on Nightmare. dust watches as Killer coos and nuzzles Nightmare and feels a bit calmer.
It is fine. They will not let anyone get their babybones.
*----------------*
And the third time the Stars came across the gang and Nightmare! (one of which they didn't fully notice but it still counts!)
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#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#bad sanses#Cross Sans#Dust sans#horror sans#Killer sans#team as family#Blue sans and Dream sans make an appearance :D#The store clerk shouting after them “You three are a cute family!" which left Horror flustered and Dust just didn't register because he#just does not listen unless he deems it important. so horror suffered that flustering alone. nightmare was getting sleepy and so not#paying attention either. and then the stars happened!#Dream just really wants to talk with nightmare about the dreamtale book. but he doesn't know how much the gang knows#and the gang is VERY protective of their tiny grumpy nugget. that is their babybones now. no take backs! >:(#also me having to freestyle some poetry without any real skills in it “am i winning?”#but I think that should be the last 'hole' in the story tiemline i had until now!#which means i can write things later in the timeline now! :3 Poll incoming because i have IDEAS
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between#but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player#outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things#I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but#no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD#like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL#so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture?#where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses?#blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings?#and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like...#it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins#like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france.#like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever#that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS??#I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol#funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense#is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao#'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she'#'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp#you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol#but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general#about me#posts from twitter
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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"likes don't do anything" they do
"there's no algorithm" there is
"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do
"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.
#if I make art of my ocs who I'm personally fond of and spent a few days drawing just right and it gets 3 reblogs then it gets 3 reblogs#it's rational to feel a little disappointed sure. but I can't do anything about that. it's just luck#and I got Very lucky accumulating a few thousand followers on my main-turned-art-only blog off the back of when m.oomin was very popular#(tho realistically many of those users are probably inactive/passive followers now)#and having this number of people tuned into my posts Still only gets me a couple dozen notes on original stuff.#every 3 years or so something might blow up. like that bugs bunny comic lol. and I did Not expect it to#especially bc it happened about a year after I shared it as well.#it can happen any time. so don't feel discouraged when your art doesn't get noticed right away#the one advantage this website has is that there's far less of a fomo culture compared to other socials where trends come and go in a week#and people will still interact with older posts. especially bc it's easier to find what you want through the tagging system. sort of.#there's really no way to predict this or aim for large engagement! oh unless you're specifically catering to the current hot topic#like d.unmeshi is wiiiildly popular right now. I've seen comics get 5-digit notes in under 48 hours 'cause more eyes are on it.#but if it's not something you personally like and you're only creating things for the attention then you're gonna be unhappy#and people will inevitably move on.#I'd much rather swing my art back around every few months or so until it finds someone it resonates with#than make people who were never planning to engage with it feel bad for no reason
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Honestly with my understanding of how your cycles work it would be funny to see an interaction between a human and an ancient where they are like "Woe is us we are trapped in a cycle blah... blah (basically longwinded explenation of how it works)" and the person is just like "I don't see the issiue here that's cool as fuck"
yes, well... part of why the rebirth cycle (Small Cycle) became so despised *is* because of propaganda. originally the thing was seen as a gift worth worshipping and praising, but as most things usually do, it has some downsides that certain group of people latched on to to demonize it
most of those being the aftermath of waking from death. such as still feeling the pain of the injury that killed the individual. it's relatively fine if one gets a fast death like a Noot stabbing, but if it's death like bleeding out from dismemberment? waking up feeling the pain of it, the phatom body part aspect even though it's Right There and not being able to treat it until it fades on its own isn't so fun
then the mental scarring of going through something like that...
the raincarnation cycle (Great Cycle) became despised because of something like a spirit's depression/nearly chronic frustration. low karma Ancients (under karma level 7) experience those kind of feelings seemingly out of nowhere, detached from the situation happening in the physicality
one can be eating their most favorite food ever and suddenly Bam, feelings of anger, sadness and frustration all at themselves. this happens because the spirit is aware it isn't moving forwards in cultivation/towards natural Ascension as it is supposed to and that upsets it
and judging by the existence of Those -points at Iterators- not many people actually work on bettering themselves because Why would they? They have the Iterators to get them the reward for becoming a good person without them having to change anything
so the nearly chronic spirit frustration/depression is common
#spot says stuff#rw#once again reminder that the rw world is very different from ours not only in fauna and flora thats right in front of the player but also-#-in the spiritual (aka psychological [inserted by personal definition of the word]) aspects as well#a human could sympathize but stuff like the loud despair of soul just isnt a thing with us. the closest we could get is religions guilt-#-tripping people but while That is terrible the ancients' thing is more like a guilt for being a bad person detached from physicality#its an internal self-critique they cant escape. unless maybe they r just really That shitty 🤔 -pokes mural karma 1 attacker ancient- hmm..
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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You guys know that American Jews have nothing to do with the actions of Israel, right. You guys know that it's a sovereign nation with a government full of shitheads that has nothing to do with individual Jewish people in other countries. You understand this right. You get that Jewish people are not a monolith and don't unilaterally support Israel by virtue of it being a 'Jewish State', right. You get that being antisemitic at home doesn't remotely help the people in Gaza. Please tell me you understand this
#spitblaze says things#making my own post bc im not a zionist but also dont particularly enjoy hearing about the uptick in violent antisemitic hate crime#its not nearly as bad as whats going on with the ppl in gaza but theres a lot of idiots out there that dont realize that minorities#(and jews in particular)#are not a goddamn hive mind. so#maybe use some of that energy to demand action from the government or raise money or uplift palestinean voices#instead of being a shithead to people who may very well *AGREE* with you.#but ppl dont care bc jews are in charge of israel therefore all jews must agree with its actions (could not be more incorrect)#anyway im gonna...maybe have this be the only post on the subject unless ppl start getting REAL weird abt this#this isnt about us. this isnt about jews. its about the citizens of gaza. thats the fuckin point here
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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