#unless it's being suggested to people
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#polls#tumblr#i'm curious because a lot of people say they don't like it#but i think a lot of people actually do have it on#because my posts sometimes get caught on it#i do not have enough followers for it to make sense where i reblog something and then it gets 1000 likes#unless it's being suggested to people#(also i know they are being suggested i've seen it)#so i'm curious
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The whole framing of Lestat as the sole symbol of patriarchy that fandom is so desperate to put him in doesn't work unless you deliberately ignore how he was also a victim of rape and abuse before he was turned. People want him to be fit into this strict role of "father figure/violent husband/perpetrator" that is only that and not even a whole person, and in doing so they need to push aside the fact that despite being his family's provider, he was also pushed into that role when his father forbid him from joining a monastery or gaining an education that he wanted. Lestat wanted to run away with a theater group as a kid, and actually managed to do so once Gabrielle gave him her blessing and monetary support in order to go to Paris. He didn't always want to be the provider, he was forced into that role and became despondent when he thought he would never get a chance to leave his home.
His new life prior to being turned is pretty much the antithesis to the whole "Lestat is a manly man who would sooner throw up than be compared to a woman" spiel: he lived with another man in Paris while also being an actor, having left his family and "responsibility" to them. The only family member he was ever close to was his mother, all the other male members shunned or ridiculed him. Add onto that the fact that his turning firmly placed him within the role of the damsel/victim: he's kidnapped from his bed by a stranger, taken into a tower and left to rot while being fed on for a week, before then being raped and violently turned all while never even being asked if he would consent to it in any normal circumstance. But you of course have to ignore all of this if you want him to only represent the aggressor/patriarch while Louis is the helpless unhappy matriarch of the family.
My issue isn't that I think Louis isn't a victim, it's that it's not unrealistic for Lestat to be an aggressor/abuser while also displaying traits that aren't regularly assigned to stereotypical depictions of male characters. He's abusive to Claudia while also having been a victim of abuse from his own family. He's not a good maker/teacher, but he also didn't even have one when he was turned. He's the provider/attempted protector of the family and seemed to like being that, while also having run away from his own family prior to this to act in a theater in Paris. He's a rich white man while also being obviously effeminate in public spaces, even to Tom's own bigoted humor.
Like Louis' own complicated story with being his family's benefactor and provider, you can't firmly place Lestat as being one thing or another in terms of gender ideals without deliberately ignoring parts about him that don't fit this. And I don't think it's an absolute necessity, when even in Louis' own story, Lestat isn't stripped of his effeminate mannerisms or behavior while also being the abusive maker/father/lover.
#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#like even Louis doesn't try to act like Lestat was only ever the powerful 'daddy' of the house#if he was I doubt he'd even feature Lestat wanting to be king of mardi gras and doing that extremely flamboyant display#to the public's chagrin/disgust#the only people in awe of Lestat's peacocking are the women in ep7 like that man was NOT accepted by other rich men like Tom#and I don't point this out in order to dismiss the notion that he could be abusive/horrible#rather that it's completely possible for both things to be true?#also to the people that will likely go: but how does him being a victim of abuse negate him being a patriarch#idk maybe redirect your question to the Edwardian wife fanatics that think that no male character can be a victim unless he is assigned#the female while he is in a relationship with another man 🤷♀️#I'll never forget how someone was also like 'Lestat fakes his femininity for the public' why? no one likes his effeminate ass anywhere#he holds more power by being white + rich than by being effeminate in order to ''''hide'''' his power which he never has or cared to#when Fenwick suggested to Louis to get a business under Lestat's name it's because Lestat being white could pass segregation laws...#not because his effeminate mannerisms grant him more favor.....
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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal
#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical#like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core#these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group#whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang#and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely#they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear#imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like#they just don't react the way you would expect#which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well#the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane#rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn#i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have#and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here#just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other#on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood#but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of#glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on#dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes#its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself#which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy#but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week#they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i#ada speaks#untagged
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Me: I'm going to get back into writing fanfiction for a fun creative writing outlet, while I work on other humanities and social sciences in classwork :) Also me: Has now read at least one official medical study, multiple interest/support group and government reports, and several online testimonials re: House's possible amputation vs. non-narcotic pain treatments sans amputation, and now has a pretty good mental chart going of decidedly STEM things.
I have been tricked into researching STEM. Creative writing has betrayed me.
#house md#gregory house#fanfiction#hatecrimes md#if anyone is interested my research so far: it seems like while phantom limb pain is likely#it is manageable using the same things he would otherwise use + other things not otherwise available#and is more likely to go away and/or be less severe#the study conducted using data from people who suffered multiple kinds of chronic pain shows 81% were glad they amputated#not to mention that the House TV show “we create medical fact” ethos suggests House has a random cure for phantom limb pain#based on that one s6 episode#I now know many weird medical things that I only sort of understand but could possibly be used in writing#Is this what being a House screenwriter feels like?#This explains why some episodes are medically dubious: a bunch of humanities majors with loose grasps of medicine just rolling with it#Anyway I'm still unlikely to write a longer fic about this specific issue unless I do more research over time
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william "me and my Perfect Societally-Idealized Family" af.ton vs. jayne being a polyamorous lesbian who regularly scandalizes people on purpose and knows william is bullshitting himself ( even if he won't hear it )
#☽—— ⸢ ooc ⸥#f n a f /#okay this is very my-william-specific lmao. unless it's not. winks at other williams.#anyway i'm not suggesting william didn't love elise/mrs. af.ton OR that he didn't want kids#what i AM suggesting is that like. some part of him was like.#wife? check. money? check. two story house with a white picket fence? check. sons AND a daughter? check.#and then was like. okay. perfect. i've achieved Normal Human Man and now i'll be respected IT'S SO BAD#which is why i talk abt the divorce being like. yes he's genuinely hurt. but so much of the anger is ''you embarrassed me''#and ''you ruined my ideal family''#meanwhile jayne is like ''hey guy what's up i just got back from my two girlfriends' place & i literally go anywhere i want whenever''#and some part of william that he's buried SO far down is like ''FUCK i want that''#not like. exactly that. just. you know. the freedom. the Not Giving A Shit What People Thing. the being openly queer.#anyway. hits him with a bat again. i think it would be funny writing jayne trying to explain having TWO gfs to the kids ngl#the idea that she's JUST explained she's a lesbian and now has to explain polyamory is FKDHSFSAKDJ#btw i'm not like. opposed-opposed to writing jayne in monogamous relationships but she heavily leans poly#they CAN be closed relationships but she's a big fan of open poly relationships#fuck i can't delete this post i added too many headcanon tags#uh. don't ask what time i wrote this btw. schedules it.#☽—— ⸢ scheduled ⸥
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I love the brand of neurodivergent that’s like “I have very specific ways of doing things and if I don’t do these things in those specific ways I will no longer be able to function in any way and I will have a mental breakdown. But I am horrible at planning and sticking to schedules or anything. So I’m random and sporadic, but there’s my specific things that have to be done specific ways or I’ll cry”
#Examples being. My coffee has to be made very specifically and I wouldn’t trust anyone to make it#My blankets have to be a specific way when I sleep#My clothes have to be layered in the way that it won’t feeel like my skin is being stabbed by a bunch of tiny knives#Small and subtle comfort items are a must. Fidgets or my beanie or my earbuds or a necklace#Clothes have to sit a specific way forme to be okay wearing it.#Bedtime routine has been the same for five years now and I cannot ruin the routine bc then I won’t be able to sleep#I regularly loose my mind when people suggest or do something to ruin my little specific things#Gotta always have two chapsticks but can’t wear hair ties on my wrist#Socks get tucked over leggings bc comfier and minimizes sock sliding down. And leggings always layered under pants unless heat will kill me#Shoes tied specifically#I’m normal.
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savvie i wanna commission u so bad
Aww thank you! 🥰 even if i close commissions, anyone is free to dm me and see if I'm free. If I'm not working on anything or if it's just something I'm doing for fun, I'll drop anything I'm doing currently to work on the commission 😅 I just try not to open it when I'm working because then I don't get enough sleep cuz I'll just wanna work on it
#mutual ask!#im always accepting requests too but i use my own interpretations of the characters unless i get references#funnily enough i like being told what to draw or at least getting a suggestion what people would like to see
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as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.
this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.
#a lot of people literally refuse to even eat ham or pork#not even for like religious or health reasons#just because they think eating anything but beef and chicken is 'weird and scary and gross'#every time i hear people going on en masse about how 'weird and an acquired taste' something foreign is i go and try it and i'm just like#what the fuck were all of you smoking. where is the unbearable weirdness i am supposed to be experiencing#shoutout to that time i kept hearing about how bizarre a flavor milkis soda is and how intimidating and acquired of a taste#then when i actually try the stuff. it's just fucking peach soda. it's peach soda with a faint tangy yogurtish taste. it makes good floats.#how in the absolute fuck is anything even remotely weird much less gross about this?#unless your concept of what a 'soda' should be is poisoned by a lifetime of the entire soda aisle being filled with nothing but brown sludg#from the same 3 brands that all taste like what would happen if they could distill the concept of diabetes and artificial flavoring syrup#i don't know if other countries have this but there's this weird cultural like mandatory rejection of any 'unusual' food here#way more intense than i've seen from anyone from any other country (though that might just be inexperience with other cultures talking)#people react to the mere suggestion of any food outside a very narrow range with outright disgust and genuine fear and horror#and there's a huge amount of unspoken peer pressure on everyone to also do the same#like you're expected to agree with them and you've breeched some sort of silent social contract if you don't#it's seen as *immoral* almost it feels like#it's difficult to describe unless you've noticed it yourself#americans react to the mere suggestion of eating anything outside of the same 2 meats and handful of fillers the same way#that pearl-clutching aristocrat grandmas react to hearing that people in foreign countries do.. basically anything#it doesnt matter if you're suggesting eating ube cake or suggesting eating live bugs because people will react the same way#everything that's not chicken/beef/ect is as good as bugs to people here#hate this stupid blandass country and how impossible it is to afford any food other than burgers if you're not rich#or blessed with relatives that have any idea how to cook and are at all willing to teach you#cause nother weird thing i've noticed about food culture-or at least wasp food culture-that i haven't seen anywhere else quite the same way#is that if you DO have any relatives that know how to cook then nine times out of ten they will jealously guard their recipes like a dragon#and refuse to share them with anyone#thus taking whatever little cooking knowledge was in the family to their grave#so the opportunity other people usually have for family bonding via passing on recipes? pffft no.#for some reason we seem to actively go out of our way to prevent these things from being passed on#i don't know what the fuck is up with that but i suspect it has something to do with 50's dinner party oneupmanship
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Ranting in my server how much it saddens me mechas impact on Japan is unknown in the states even now because most people don’t know of the old shows that brought up the genre especially when the take of “Evangelion is a deconstruction of mecha” is still a take I’ve unironically heard in this year-from one of my fucking irls no less-because I learn more and more how crucial this genre was to Japan-
but than I turn around and ago “yeah I watched maybe 4 mechas and don’t have the desire to really watch more even if there’s some I should probably get too” and I wonder if this makes me come off as a worse “umh actuahlly” person or this is showing how awful my commitment skills to anything as of late have been given there’s NON mecha anime I still need to watch.
#meg text#mecha rambles#this one was a lot shorter but the tags won’t be#I really don’t mind the idea of people fighting in big robots but I think I realized I like the robots being sentient#getter does it in such a compelling way no other mecha has hit for me even if the animes gloss over it#jeeg has its fucking pilot become the mech but that was only one mc and it never gets shit#and I have dabble into transformers but haven’t gone back to it bc I was hit with episodic formula#also I’m not kidding when I say it’s a struggle for me to watch anything even when it’s reasonably short#I started Android kikadier which is 13 eps + a 4 ep follow up ova and still HAVENT GONE BACK TO IT#my ass will never get through a Gundam unless someone watches it with me but fuck if I know where to start#(this is also not a mecha suggestion post I literally never get back to do anything unless I’m fixated)#starting to think I’m more hyperfixated on history and influence but than I come to actually watching a show and I go “yeah no”
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I get so tired of people making dumb friendly reminder posts when it pertains to fandom topics
#it's always something trying to shame people into paying to a character more and said character is being paid attention to just fine#or they're saying something with the clear sentiment that they want to force everyone to agree with it#or they're just stating the obvious and acting like no one else noticed#and like---- unless that person is a background character; they are getting attention FOR SURE#and just because you have a take ; no one has to agree nor do you need to insinuate they are wrong#for not sharing your sentiment---#you know you can talk about specific characters/moments/themes without doing so with the tone of suggesting No One Gets Them like you#or talking down in your phrasing#just talk about the thing you're enthusiastic about without being pretentious please 🙄
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My toxic trait is like I mean Blink is good but I can't wrap my head around it being the highest rated episode of Doctor Who on IMDb. Top 30 fine but #1?
#it's not my favorite episode it's not my favorite RTD era ep it's not my favorite s4 ep it's not my favorite RTD era ep written by Moffat#it's not my favorite Weeping Angels episode (though I will say that it's the best) it's not my favorite Doctor-lite episode#it's certainly not my favorite episode of TV of all time and I also would say it isn't the best either#I don't think about it unless someone brings it up I don't watch it unless I just watched Human Nature/Family of Blood and let it play#it's not /bad/ it's just. meh.#full respect to people that love it but I don't get why it's above Heaven Sent she is a cinematic masterpiece#actually what I really don't get is The Husbands of River Song being /46 out of 198/????#how is THORS one of the lowest rated (bottom 5 of 15) episodes that River is in. this is homophobia just like the lack of a 12river kiss.#sorry I saw the post about it being one of the best episodes of TV of all time again & there's people arguing about other things on my dash#& I've taken my meds but not actually started anything & I'm actively avoiding what I need to be doing#thus I am saying things I would not say in a fully public Discord server per usual#also sometimes I see people suggest it as a first ep to watch (not a 'if you only watch 1 ep' but a 'watch this first') which is a dif rant#like I'd show my dad Time Heist because I don't expect him to get into the show but I think he'd enjoy that one#but at the very least go with en episode thet follows the formula if you want to get someone into the shoe#*show#so that they know. whether they'd like the show.#personally I'm a big ''start with Rose'' fan but I have many biases including I don't like consuming media out of order#but like. there is someone I want to make watch s8 and s9 and I'm not necessarily going to make her watch 1-7 first#like Deep Breath (a Doctor's first episode) is a reasonable starting point to me#a Doctor's first episode/a companion's first episode/an era's first episode are what make the most sense to me for a first ep ya know?#bonus for all three.#but like would you start SPN with Changing Channels as a ''do you like the vibes of this show?''#or Hush or Tabula Rasa for Buffy? (I outsourced that one so if it doesn't get my point across not my fault I am buffyless)#anyway.#someday I'll watch Buffy someday I'll start arguments on the internet about more important things that sharing an unpopular DW opinion#and someday I'll start things on my to do list with less than 3 hours of coaxing#okay have a nice day. 👍#i speak#kasteraxilkemeryapheshexerindaikyat.pdf
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changing Sparrow’s given name because I can, and also debating about changing her wish at the end of the game to Love because this whole playthrough she’s inhabited the middle ground on purity/corruption and good/evil, so would she actually have it in her to make that ultimate sacrifice if it meant having her family back...?
I mean, I’d probably go with it not going Quite Right and Alex and Thane remaining dead because Sparrow was so changed by the Spire that she couldn’t love them like she did before and so the Spire said ‘welp you don’t love them so they don’t count lmao’ but she gets Rose and Archie back. Except Rose is still a young girl and Archie is an old dog, and nothing is the same anymore. A few years later and he passes away all over again.
And sure, she fulfills Rose’s dream of living in a castle by taking over Castle Fairfax, but the tower haunts them and Rose can’t stand seeing all of Sparrow’s guns. For Sparrow, being a gunslinger is reclaiming her power from Lucien and turning it on him, but for Rose, guns remind her of the night she died and they’re terrifying to her. And eventually she grows up and sets out to make a life for herself, and Sparrow is alone again in this castle that she hates.
She wished for love only for it to slip through her fingers.
#fable 2#sparrow#rose#i'll update sparrow's tag when i settle on a name but i just wasn't feeling aya anymore#but yeah her morals are 'don't be an arsehole. unless it gets in the way of kicking lucien's ass. then fuck morals do whatever you have to'#i don't think bringing people back even crossed her mind until theresa suggested it and her first thought was the people she loved#but yeah i have a lot of thoughts on sparrow's post-spire marriage with alex and fucking hell they should have just gotten divorced#alex spent ten years raising a son and waiting for a wife who wasn't coming back#sparrow came home. realised she wasn't the same anymore. and instead of breaking things off#she just. let him carry on hoping that the woman he married might come back#because she couldn't let go. because she hoped that maybe once lucien was dead that it would just go away#that maybe he could love her like he used to even though she was different#but he couldn't. and she couldn't. and thane's caught in the middle not understanding why his father isn't head over heels for this woman#like he is for the woman in his stories#and why sparrow can't quite look him in the eyes and disappears so quickly after coming back#he barely knows her when he's killed for being her's and fuck me if it's not all just so fucked up
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Hi! This may be a bit of a rant but there is something I really wanna share with someone so I hope you don't mind.
I have a friend who I knew 'cause we were in the same club at uni. He's very eloquent and smart, so I really respect him (but mostly from afar 'cause I was shy lol). And then I saw him post about ST season 4, and about Will in particular so I mustered up my courage and messaged him "hey have u seen the parallels between Will and Vecna?". And we started talking about other ST-related stuff. We even ranted a lot about vol 2 after watching that lol. We also talked about books and TV shows and overall, I was glad ST helped me make more friends.
When the free Palestine movement became popular last year, I was not surprised when I saw him post about Gaza or Rafah 'cause well... he's just like a typical queer, chronically online, twitter user lol (both complimentary and derogatory, sometimes I find his humor funny, sometimes I just wanna roll my eyes). We have never talked about this topic and honestly I really don't feel like. I just simply carry on sharing posts and stories about discrimination against Jewish and Israeli people and anti-Hamas stuff.
And then recently I saw him posting overtly anti-Israel things, like "u think this is hot now, wait til you go to hell for supporting Israel". Not gonna lie, I chuckled when I saw that 'cause first of all, I am an atheist so whatever man I don't believe in hell anyway. Second, I don't know what other non-Jewish people who support Israel (as in 'its existence is legitimate and the people there deserve peace', not the government itself) may feel about hell, but as far as I'm concerned, Jewish people don't seem to put that much weight on the concept of hell and heaven, right?. So like "bro you should have choose something else more menacing than that lol"
Now I can scroll through that post but what irks me the most is what he chose to share today.
https://x.com/redstreamnet/status/1841561550378651724
I find it so freaking ironic how after everything that has happened in Iran recently (and how many Iranians have spoken out against the Islamic republic), this is the first Iran-related thing he posted about. Like I'm so close to just forward to him a video of Iranians celebrating the death of Nasrallah or comments/posts of Iranians thanking Israel for it, or overall just people between these two countries wishing each other peace and freedom. I'm not sure if I can call what I'm feeling "anger" 'cause it's not exactly strong as when I see people deny October 7. But there is surely a sense of resignation.
I don't see those pro-pal people as bad or evil. I actually believe that most of them have good intentions, but to me, they are too caught up in their self-righteousness and black-and-white views to acknowledge the grey area of this whole mess.
I saw you own up to your own hypocrisy a few days ago and ngl I admire you for that lol. I only think of humans as "paradoxical by nature" so a person saying conflicting stuff is normal to me. But it's annoying as hell when someone doesn't think they are capable of hypocrisy or double standards.
Anyways, have a great day. Thank you for reading all this. Sorry it's kinda long. Being concise is not my strong suit lol.
hey anon, let’s hug. if you want?
i rly don’t have much to offer bc my brain is currently mush, you probably just wanted to vent and that’s ok. i just didn’t want to leave you on read. 💚
look, i’m using jquinn even though he annoys me atm but i just couldn’t resist, lmao. like yeah, #me.
#beth answers#i hear you and everything#also your friend. ask yourself if you’re happy with him. whatever that means. it sounds like you’re willing to agree to disagree but#he may not?? like some people just can’t compromise on some issues and that’s ok. but tbh the whole geopolitics in the middle east is#complex and has a very long history. it’s not as clear cut as saying israel is a product of western imperalism or white supremacy#nor is every arab country having similar values/democracies. even islamic terror orgs don’t always align#like consider the situation with that woman who was kidnapped by the isis and she was being held in gaza even though isis and hamas aren’t#exactly allies. and people suggest gaza is some sort of criminal outpost in the middle east#which could be true to an extent but it’s important to recognise it’s not fair on the civilians. even if they share hamas’ values bc of#their upbringing. but we gotta be careful bc we can’t steer towards racism of low expectations bc arabs are very capable and intelligent#like it’s obvious to me hamas are seen as noble savages but referred to as freedom fighters. i just think it’s important to be balanced#people can say israel is a safe haven for paedos and sex offenders which is bullshit and based in antisemitism (thanks jeffery epistein)#in every community there are bad people and they shouldn’t be held as the standard. which should be applied to ~bad orgs/states too#it’s just not easy! even geopolitics experts struggle. otherwise we’d have world peace but lmao#hey looks like i managed to say something after all#umm tldr you know your friend but you know yourself too and it’s important to have boundaries#but not to let something get in the way especially if it doesn’t concern either of you personally in the grand scheme of things#if that makes sense. like i’m not gonna ditch a friend if they think the moon landing is fake#unless they make it their whole personality and it gets in the way of our relationship#so you know. go with your gut. look at the big picture but details are important too#which i recognise is a privileged position to have and possibly ignorant#but i have to consider myself and the people i love. then my community and the place i live. then the country#then everything else. even though i want to help with things out of my control but i also feel like i shouldn’t have to feel like this?#like i’m not someone who signed up for this. ppl who have should be able to do so to the best of their abilities. i’m just not that person#ok i’ll shut now lmao mwah#sorry this is late btw
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"oh a brightness adjustment isnt working and you're really frustrated people keep suggesting that? i understand. have you tried a blue light filter" jesus fucking CHRIST people
#this is not about me this is about a different blogger with waaaay too many people in her askbox#and far too many of them are being absolutely cabbages#if you thought of it within 5 seconds of learning of the problem you should absolutely assume the person in question has already#thought of it and everyone around them has also already thought of it#unless you are an expert in this particular field and your solution is based on very niche knowledge#blue ramblings#rant#vent post#seeing this blogger deal with this bullshit gets to me because#while i dont have nearly the same amount or severity of health issues#i have suffered from insomnia and general disordered sleeping for a Very long time#and people continue to make thee most asinine suggestions#and it really gets to me#because they're “well meaning” so i'm not supposed to get mad at htem#except their “well meaning” is just very self serving. because they didn't actually -think- about MY problem#they ONLY thought of how -they- could ''''help'''#and so their 'advice' is completely detached from the reality im dealing with#fifteen years my dude!!! you think you're the first to think of herbal infusion in fifteen fucking years???#shut the fuck up for ever actually
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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To help everyone understand the gravity of the situation with Unity's recent bullshit, here are some games made in unity:
Cult of the Lamb
Bendy and the Ink Machine
Untitled Goose Game
Road 96
Cuphead
Power Wash Simulator
Genshin Impact
Getting Over It
Inside
Tem Tem
Kerbal Space Program 1
Kerbal Space Program 2
Rust
Rimworld
Outer Wilds
Dream Daddy
Thomas Was Alone
I Am Setsuna
Tunic
Night in the Woods
Pony Island
Return of the Obra Dinn
Among Us
Pokemon Go
Hollow Knight
Ori and the Blind Forest
Ori and the Willow of the Wisps
Vampire Survivors
Two Point Hospital
City Skylines
The Long Dark
Firewatch
Oxenfree
Subnautica
Subnautica: Below Zero
Fall Guys
Many, MANY MORE
Unless you only play tRIpLE A titles this will most likely affect a game you like. Hell, it can even affect really big games like Pokemon Go.
For a long time, starting years and years back, a lot of people have been talking about the preservation of games and being against moving to digital only games for reasons like this, and how the greed of various big companies in the game industry will negatively impact access to games and their preservation. It's happening. This will impact games that are already out. This will impact games being made. This will impact games made in the future. So if you care even a teensy tiny bit about a single game made in unity, or you care about the future of game development period, I suggest you pay very close attention.
A good article from an indie developer detailing the changes and exactly how it screws devs over:
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