#this is not about me this is about a different blogger with waaaay too many people in her askbox

[fluffyblue-multifandommess]

"oh a brightness adjustment isnt working and you're really frustrated people keep suggesting that? i understand. have you tried a blue light filter" jesus fucking CHRIST people

[tellywoodtrash]

This might seem something random, but what do you think of ppl's freedom of expression on their own blogs? I know fandom culture is aggressive. But sometimes ppl take disagreement and debate to another (petty) level. Like if some blogger doesn't like SC for example, (using it 'cos ur currently into it), and blogs about why they dislike it, is it right to throw shade at them, instead of debating with them directly. I'm sending this ask to you since you dealt with fandom nonsense in past. Thanks!

Lol anon, it’s not that “random”, and you’re not just using SC as an example. I know you’re asking this because you’re getting flak on your opinions on the show; you asked the Mais the same question on her curiouscat, and were more direct about it there. 👀👀👀

Look, freedom of expression on your own platform is paramount. But you have to realise that no expressed thought exists in a vacuum. You put the thought out there for people to consume, and they’re going to have opinions on it. If you considered your opinion important enough to put out there, then you have to have to be okay with other people having their own take on it. It’s the price you pay for expression.

You’re free to not like things, but if someone counters you with a valid point as to why your reasons may not be sound (like the fact that perhaps you may not be catching the cultural nuances of the show because you are not a part of that culture, plain and simple. Side note: I know all of us, including I myself, tends to do it for the sake of convenience, but it’s important to understand that all of “desi culture” is not one big, universal, umbrella. There are waaaay too many variables, from language to religion to caste to economic strata, to be able to claim that we fully understand a social group that we are not actively involved with. Even within the same country we cannot pin down one “standard” experience, let alone another countries with completely different value systems than our own.) then use the opportunity to open yourself up to that concrit, listen to those who know more about the topic, and educate yourself. Issues are not black or white, it never hurts to get another perspective on them. And if it’s from someone who has more of an insight on the matter, then why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to learn more? At the least, you’ll agree to disagree with them; at most, they might end up convincing you of their side. Changing your opinions isn’t bad, or a “failure” of any sort. It’s GROWTH.

You’re also completely free to not like things just because you plain don’t like them. But then, just say it’s “not for you” and move on. No one can deny you your personal TASTE. But when you shroud a contrary opinion in pseudo “issue”-based reasons, that’s when people come up and engage with you about it and try to fight you. I can write a 4000 word essay full of “analytical” reasons as to why I don’t like a show like Naagin; but the plain and simple truth is that it’s just not a genre of content that I personally enjoy. Who’s to come and counter that and come FORCE ME to like it? So perhaps, really analyse WHY you dislike something before you put that opinion out there.

As for “shade”, not everyone is confrontational and wants to get into a lengthy direct back-and-forth debate, let alone with some faceless internet stranger. It’s exhausting and never EVER worth the time and energy. It’s their prerogative if they want to directly engage with you or not. Also, people countering you with articulate and valid points, whether directly or indirectly, is not “wrong”. It’s how the online community engages and the discussion grows. All you can control in this environment is your own actions and words; the rest is an unmanageable beast of its own. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[blschaos3000-blog]

It’s 2:45 pm

Welcome to another edition of “8 Questions with…..”

A couple of years back I decided to bring my interview series over to this blog. I had started it waaaay back on MySpace and had carried it over to Blogger where it had done fairly well. I had joined a group on Facebook called “UK Actors” in order to share and promote my film reviews and the group was very supportive of my work. It was here that I chose to ask if any actor was interested in being interviewed and I got a few who decided to chance with a Yank from across the Pond writing a small blog. Mercedy (Mercy to her friends) Purcell was one of the first to take a chance with me and in March of 2017,I posted our first interview. Two years later and I wanted to check in with Mercy. I like to keep up with everyone I interview and Mercy was no different except in this case,she was. I kept noticing that she was always volunteering at various functions,doing her part to help her fellow citizens. When I saw she was prepping her first single for release,I decided I wanted to catch up and share this remarkable artist with a whole new slew of folks. They say great things come in tiny packages and in the case of Mercedy Purcell,nothing could be better said about her. She is definitely a special young talent with a great heart…

   It has been a little over two years since we chatted. So what has been going on with you?

 In the last two years, I’ve been super busy – sorting out my vocal chords since performing musical theatre and damaging them a bit. Cleared out a lot of things that where just no good for my career! I’ve had to near enough build back up as an actress as I met some wrong production companies that just didn’t send me anything for show reel material. But on a positive good note, I’ve recently in the last few months been in three great films, such as.. “Spider Man” – (which is a fan film),a short film – “Book of Shadows” & a feature film called “Eleven” – about the last day of World War 1. They where all brilliant experiences and big productions to be involved with,working with stunt men, from Star Wars, Mission Impossible, etc…

After getting my vocals back on track, I have now recently just done my first track called “Gone” and is up for a major release late summer/September and I’m excited to be showing my music video for it. I have recently finished filming the video and its now being edited to be shown at my launch early September. I’m working with some talented  music producers, include Jorden Milnes, who has worked with many top recording artists in the world today. Building a great working relationship with Jorden also, who produced and made the music video for “Gone”. 

  You have been working hard on your music as of late and a have single getting ready to drop. Can you share any news about “Gone”?

Yes, that’s correct. My track “Gone” was  written by myself – in the memory of my friend, who was cruelly killed getting on 4 years ago. This is also my first proper track and after putting everything in a bag we created this track. This song is more of a pop track, down to me wanting it to be an uplift to it, because I wanted to help put some closure to the family, friends & myself and not think about what happened to her and think about more of her as a person, why this song become this style. After it was produced we had more of an idea what type of artist I am, my next song has a bit more of a soulful vibe also, but over all I’m very proud of my first song and music video. I’m looking forward to sharing this with everyone.

Has the acting business improved in the UK in the past two years?

Erm.. Good question, parts of it has and parts of it hasn’t. I think it’s getting far more harder to get into the acting business as well.. so many actors out their now, it’s getting more harder for opportunities also. 

You played a Viking warrior in a new short film called “Book of Shadows”,how did you like playing a Viking? What was the coolest part of the film for you?

This was a  great first time for me experience on a massive set with bombs going off, stunt men being lit on fire,etc..It  was awesome to experience it and wow,was it  SCARY! I was hoping the fire stunt went well, it’s scary to watch, but very interesting how stunts are done. I loved it on set for this also. Was a pleasure to work with talented, big industry stunt men from Star Wars too.

Being a warrior was definitely something new for me ha ha, With people normally seeing me in horror or drama type etc.. It’s been nice to try something new and exciting. I actually loved being a warrior,it was very fascinating ha!. The sword fighting is great also, I couldn’t wait to get started, I would do something like this again definitely.

The one thing that I noticed is you volunteer a LOT for various causes and charities. What motivates you into giving to others?

 I was advised to pick one or two Charities I am passionate about because as an artist etc.. its important to support one or two in your career. One of them was the “British Heart Foundation” because I was born with an hole in my heart myself and I consider myself so lucky to be here, this was one of them that is close to my heart,literally.     The other charity I went with was the charity “Strongbones Children Charitable Trust” I read into this charity and heard about them also and found them amazing for what they do for young people and children with physical needs and disabilities. I also started to grow a great bond with a few of them- especially two very special souls in Myles Sketchley & Ella Chadwick, They are really inspirational and that’s just naming two, there are many more. They have both done wonderful things and what they go through doesn’t stop them, they just keep smiling and caring on and very funny.     This is one of the reasons I was instantly attached to this charity.Also I felt I kind of related with #Strongbones because I have a muscle disease myself. I have done two charity events for Strongbones so far and raised a lot of money and awareness. Its a challenge for sure running your own events but its been good experiences and great to get awareness out there, as a bonus a lot of money too. Since helping Strongbones so far, I’ve started to really enjoy running events and attending charity events, most of all seeing loads of children with needs enjoy themselves, its awarding.

What scares you the most?

If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. It’s scary to think how big things could take off. But all career dreams should feel scary in some way. One thing that does scare me is big auditions for a major casting & huge audiences onstage.

 Where do you want to go next in your career?

I’ve always dreamed of being a singer since a young girl, but never thought that today singing would be my career. With me feeling not good enough one point, but after three years building up experience as an artist, I’m now more confident in myself and it’s coming more clear now that music is working for me so far. Would be nice to do well in this field and am sure acting work will follow in time, same with modeling. 

The cheetah and I are flying over to watch you sing but we are a day early and now you’re playing tour guide,what are we doing? 

I spend a lot of time in Nottingham, which the home of Robin Hood and also there is the world famous Nottingham Castle, Sherwood Forest and many more historical attractions. I stay on a boat when I’m in Nottingham on a marina and one thing I can definitely vouch for is the beautiful country side & scenery.

I like to thank Mercedy once again for letting me interview her.  Of course we’ll be waiting for “Gone” to drop here in the States as well.  Once it does,we’ll let you know where and how you can get your own copy and also take a peek at the music video.

You can follow Mercedy on Twitter. You can join Mercedy on Facebook. Mercedy can found on InstaGram.

Thank you for your continued support of both myself and the cheetah but of the wonderful people we get a chance to ask 8 Questions. Please feel free to drop a comment or three!

8 More Questions with……………singer/actress Mercedy Purcell It's 2:45 pm Welcome to another edition of "8 Questions with....." A couple of years back I decided to bring my interview series over to this blog.

[graciouslittlethings]

The Power of Small Things

For those of you who run small businesses, a really good resource which I highly recommend to manage your accounts is a free software called “WaveApps”. Recently, WaveApps did something which impressed me so much that I felt it worth sharing! (For the record, this is NOT a sponsored post.) 

I have been using WaveApps for about 2 years now. It’s free - and I get that free services have limitations so I don’t really have too high expectations. Despite that, they’ve continually put in efforts to improve their app / software, and that’s what’s made me stick with them thus far. 

This month, they made some changes to their Terms of Use and they sent out an e-mail informing their users about it.

This was a very run-of-the-mill e-mail. Nothing out of the ordinary, you know, the usual yada yada and then asking you to log in, click on a button and agree to their new terms. We get these all the time, right? 

Then, I came across this in the e-mail. 

Do you see the part which I’ve boxed out in red? Whoa, they summarised the changes? I thought that that was pretty interesting, so I clicked on the button and....

Haha, ok this is funny. Then, I scrolled down.

WaveApps actually summarised all that mouthful of a legal jargon into SIMPLE, STRAIGHTFORWARD ENGLISH so that I could quickly skim through the whole document quickly and painlessly! (See the green box.)

I WAS BEYOND IMPRESSED.

This was over-the-top service! I mean, come on, people, it’s FREE!

Now, if we really think about this whole experience, clearly, it isn’t rocket science. You or I could have probably thought of this fairly easily. Unfortunately, most of us don’t. When it comes to everyday matters, sometimes it’s just so easy to go along with the flow and do what everyone is doing. 

BUT when you just pause for a moment, and think about how to do just that little bit extra, it makes such a huge difference. 

Another example would be WhatsApp. When they introduced the “reply” function, it made chatting in groups SO MUCH EASIER. 

With the reply function, I can now easily comment or reply to a friend’s specific chat, even if it was from waaaay earlier, without confusing my friends in the chat group! This is another classic example of a simple solution which has greatly enhanced experience! 

In our work, or even our everyday lives, applying this concept can prove to be so simple but powerful. For instance, the plug for my mobile phone charger is located under my bed. Every morning, after unplugging my mobile phone from the charger, the wire tends to fall under the bed. When my helper vacuums or mops the floor, the wire gets pushed even further under the bed. When night time comes, and I’m about to charge my phone, it really is very irritating, having to dive under the bed, and dig the wire out. 

Finally, my husband suggested, “Why don’t you just slip the wire between the bedframe and the mattress? That way, it won’t fall to the floor or even under the bed.” 

It was such a simple solution, but it instantly removed my irritation and frustration! 

As with many things in life, it’s often the little things that build up and cause us to feel tired, frustrated, or even upset. Perhaps we often feel that improvements are a HUGE step and so we end up doing the same things over and over again, “until I have time to look into how to improve this further.” 

Sounds familiar? 

I know! I’m often a victim of this kind of thinking myself too. 

The key lies in changing our mindset, because really, it’s often the smallest and simplest things which we can immediately change, that prove most powerful. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and have a great week ahead!

As an ex-expatriate and management consultant in an international firm, Grace was a career-minded woman on a fast-track path in the corporate world. The birth of her first child changed her perspectives in entirety, and she made the life-changing decision of becoming a stay-at-home mum. In addition to being one of Malaysia’s top digital influencers on Nuffnang’s Bloggerati list, she is a Dr. Sears Certified Health Coach and also runs children-related businesses (links available below).

- Facebook: facebook.com/graciouslittlethings

- Instagram / Dayre: @graciouslittlethings

- Blogger Engagements: grace@bloggerati.me

- Shop Little Baby Grains: www.littlebabygrains.com

- Shop Petite Troopers: www.petitetroopers.com

[barbecuedphoenix]

200 Followers: 11 Things About Me

So I was re-tagged a week ago by @eldarya-scenarios. (I had no idea I tagged you twice, dear. ^_^ Having two aliases is awfully sneaky.) 

If you’re a little curious on who your friendly fan blogger is behind the Leiftan icon and the barrage of text-winks, feel free to read on. Watch out though: it’s a long post like everything else I write... 

And if not, please continue to enjoy this blog’s smart-assery and the text-winks. ;)

1) Why did you name your blog the way you did? ...Because that’s the screen-name I use for my main Eldarya account. I’m not very creative with names. :( Not to mention that it’s probably very politically-incorrect to say ‘Barbecued Phoenix’ in the faery realm. Huang Hua would not be amused. And my blog is guaranteed to be politically-incorrect as far as folklore and faeries are concerned. ;) My screen-name is actually homage to a Neil Gaiman short-story called ‘Sunbird’, which is still one of my favorites from its double serving of dark humor and culinary catastrophes. And it sounds really funny when you say it out-loud (at least that’s my opinion).

2) What was your last meal? *checks bowl next to laptop* Eh… a fruit salad I scraped together from some Rainier cherries and leftover cantaloupe slices. It’s summer here, and I enjoy my fruits. :)

3) Jeans or skirts? …I must have at least nine different pairs of jeans in my closet, half of which I don’t even wear most days. And just one pencil skirt. Because at least once in my life, I’ll need to go to a court room. So there’s your answer. :)  

4) What’s your favourite letter of the alphabet? In the English alphabet, ‘L’ is my favorite. It just rollllls off the tongue so nicely. :) 

5) Favourite fandom/shipping? I’m a mercenary crack-ship writer. Anything goes so long as characters are in-character. ;) *cough* Truthfully, I haven’t shipped anything in a fandom since I was eleven or twelve, and that was waaaay back when the cartoon series Avatar the Last Airbender premiered. I think that experience has inoculated me to serious shipping. So now, while I enjoy seeing a well-developed, well-paced canon romance (because it means the creators have really thought the story through), it’s never a huge concern for me who’s paired up with whom. Romance isn’t actually the selling point for me for a lot of stories; it’s individual character development and plot direction that counts.   And anyway… fan shipping is really a fabrication. With a bit of imagination, effort, and tactical writing, functional relationships can be spun between anything and anyone, and unraveled in the same way. Even when keeping all parties in character. So why blow a gasket over shipping? To each their own dirty little fancies. ;)

As for my fandoms… they’re a patchwork quilt of games, books, movies, TV shows, anime from a lot of different sources, and it changes every year. For the sake of time, I’ll give a rundown of just the fantasy/supernatural genres I’ve been following for a while (translating some of the titles to English when possible):  

Games: the Dragon Age series, Folklore (also called FolksSoul), Uncharted, the Persona series 

Books: Discworld, His Dark Materials, the Dr. Siri Paiboun series, the Temeraire series, The Tiger’s Wife, Brisingamen, pretty much anything done by Neil Gaiman… the list goes on. With a few rare exceptions, I’ve shifted from being a high fantasy lover (those tropes get old after a while) to an acolyte of more low-key genres like magical-realism, fantasy-historical-fiction, and satirical-fantasy.  

TV Shows: Supernatural  

Anime & Cartoons: the Fate series (even though my fanfiction ends up making fun of it 95% of the time, it’s still a really intricate universe), the Avatar series  

Movies: Practically anything done by Studio Ghibli and Tomm Moore, ‘Coraline’, ‘Corpse Bride’, ‘Therapy for a Vampire’, ‘Let the Right One In’, ‘Groundhog Day’, the very first installation of ‘The Hobbit’   

6) What’s your favourite sport? (You don’t necessarily have to play it) Favorite sport I can’t do, but love to watch: Surfing. Forget berserk football matches; give me a crazy Australian riding a tunnel wave any day. :D  Favorite sport I can do: Bicycling. I’m no Tour de France candidate, but my bike regularly takes its share of unreasonable hills and descents in the city where I live. Personally, It’s a great way to get around. ^_^

7) What’s your idea of a perfect day? Getting everything on my list done with minimal coffee and hair-pulling.  -_- Sorry… I’m still listening to the robot half of my brain. Switching over.  Start the day by making a difference and sharing a good time with both the students I see where I work, and the odd friends and colleagues I do have. Attend a really good lecture. Then take a quiet bus ride to the beach or an aquarium, where I can watch all the wildlife shenanigans I want. Tourists included. Cook something awesome for lunch or dinner, and eat it to discover that it’s still more awesome. End the day with a good book, an avalanche of blankets, and a conveniently-rainy night. And maybe a quick Skype/phone call with my dad.  ;( Oh there I go, listening to the sappy half of my brain. Switching over.  

8) What animal do you hate with all your soul? The logical part of my brain tells me I have no cause to loathe any animal for existing. But the cave-woman part of my brain still gets creeped out by a few of them…. Geckos especially. Because the house where I grew up was infested with them (like a typical equatorial house, actually). The geckos could be found on absolutely any flat surface, even the underside of the table and on the ceiling, so we always had to check right before sitting down that something cold, bug-eyed, and squirmy wasn’t going to drop on us in the middle of dinner. And they also liked to appear in other surprising places: like in your shoes (as my father found out one day while rushing to work), inside drawers, inside trash cans, crushed between door hinges, trapped in the kitchen sink, and inside the refrigerator a couple of times (worst idea ever, for a lizard).      One of the best things that happened to me on moving to this corner of the United States: no geckos anywhere. I can clean my apartment with an easy heart. \o/    

9) Can you dance? Besides some lingering muscle memory from my early days doing classical ballet... no. :(  I’d really like to take up Spanish Flamenco though. Generally, I do better with choreographed dances rather than impromptu club-dancing. As all my friends have told me. I’ve given them so many priceless memories on the dance-floor… 

10) What’s the name and age of your favourite character? (OC or otherwise) I can’t decide on a ‘favorite’ character in media; there’s too many of them. So how about a favorite OC instead? ^_^   Right now among the Eldarya OC cast, my favorite would have to be Zephania ‘Zee’ Tantiango because she’s a magnet for trouble as a protagonist very dynamic heroine to work with. (She’s 23, in case you’re interested.) Zee is actually the latest incarnation of the ‘funny-but-unlucky action heroine’ archetype I’ve spent years working on, and I’m happy with how she’s turning out so far. On one hand, she’s the typical small-town heroine who’s sharp, plucky, energetic, and more than a little kooky herself; the story never stops moving once she starts improvising in a tight situation. :) But there’s a strong undercurrent of tragedy in the way she continues to isolate herself through her pride and her decisions, especially because she’s allergic to either admitting that she’s in real trouble, or cutting herself some slack for her mistakes. There’s a lot of sadness behind that finger-snap smile. I’m still debating on whether to give her a good ending, or a bitter one. :(  No, that was not a spoiler for the fan-fiction that’ll one day hit this blog.

11) What got you into your favourite activity?(i.e how did you start?) Favorite activity? Like… a hobby?  Well the longest-running hobby I’ve ever had is writing (no guesses there). And it was more-or-less self-taught. As a kid, nobody could take me anywhere without a book in my hand, or some other adventure happening inside my own head (which made it awfully inconvenient to get my attention in a mall… but hey, I never wandered off). And writing short stories was always the most entertaining school assignment for me.  But it wasn’t until I started home-schooling at thirteen that I found the time and need to write something for myself, putting to paper those increasingly-complex sagas and fan-fictions that lived in my head (because my short-term recall just couldn’t keep track of all the dialogue and plot twists anymore; I needed to start recording my stories to make sense of them.)   And I haven’t stopped since. :)

Uh-oh. Here come… my questions. For @mentacomchocolate, @areyntheheartseeker, and @the-irish-hoor​. 

Why did you name your blogs the way you did? ;)

What would your honest personal reaction be if you accidentally stepped into a fairy ring, landed in a strange place, and got threatened by a fox-lady wielding fireballs?  

What’s your dream job in this life?  

Is there anyone you have a crush on that you’re still really embarrassed to admit? Would you like to mention them anyway? ;)  

If there’s only one book genre you could spend the rest of your life reading, what will it be?  

What are the top 5 things you geek out over? (Today, at least. ;) )

If you’ve been given a 24-hour advance warning that the world is definitely going to end (i.e. via Death Star), what will you do?

And if you’ve been given an exclusive two-person escape pod during above scenario, what/who would you bring with you to escape the planet? Would you want to?

If your friends can agree on one thing about you, what would it be? Do you agree with them? 

What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you this past week?  

What do you remember as your most incredible feat of endurance to date? Physical, mental, and/or social?

*looks up* ...All right, those are some weird questions. I won’t blame you at all if you ignore them. 

[heartlikethunder]

The Art of Healing - My Personal Initiatives to Face my Depression

I’m 22 and I have severe clinical depression as a result of many things including poor relations with my parents, school, and of course, the current political climate. I’m a pre-med and I have lots of things I want to accomplish. All of my relationships around me are becoming toxic because I keep poisoning them. And most importantly, I don’t like the person I’m starting to become. I don’t want to discuss in too much detail as to what has brought me to this point in my life, but I do want to talk about a few initiatives I’ve taken to bring me to a happier place. 

A little bit about me briefly – I graduate from college with a BS in Microbiology. I don’t have a job right now because I’m taking some time off to (try) studying for the MCAT. I live at home with my parents and used to commute from my house to school. I didn’t get my license until last year – I was 21 – and even then my mom continued to drive me to and from places. Finally I don’t have many friends. Most of the people I have met are in relationships and thus their significant other is all they need or they try to push them onto their friends as well or they are interested in drinking and partying – again, not of my interest. I’ve been forced into an environment which is very isolated from the rest of the world. I spend a lot of my time in my room with little to no conversation with anyone. I’m lonely. And my goals are so far away I don’t feel like I’ve gotten closer to any of them. 

Hence, I’ve started a few initiatives to help me overcome this moment in my life:

Drinking a lot of water. Water is a great healing agent and I drink many cups throughout the day – it completely revitalizes me. Avoid juice and sugary/oily foods. Keep things light and clean. Eat smaller portion sizes too to not feel “overstuffed,” which will help you to become more active and it’s easier to move around with none of that food slowing you down or jostling around in your belly. 

Sleeping on time. Sleep is the foundation to easing MANY mental health related diseases or illnesses. Sleep by 10PM and try to wake up around 9AM. Don’t forget to turn you phone on silent. I have an amazing Do Not Disturb feature on my iPhone which I can set up to activate automatically during a time frame. For me I have it turn on at 7PM and shut off around 10AM/11AM. I have a really hard time going to bed because I keep thinking that I didn’t do anything today, I didn’t accomplish anything, and I dread what tomorrow will bring. You need to stop this. Some of your worst thoughts come in the darkest hours of the day. Plus the next morning when I wake up my head is pounding and aching and my eyes are puffy, sore, and bloodshot. I can barely sit straight I’m so exhausted and I become very sluggish. 

PURGE. I have some much stuff I’ve accumulated that it’s literally falling all over me, all around me. My drawers are overstuffed, my craft supplies are spread out over 3 rooms, I have so many books in our “extra room,” etc. Minimalism can be very freeing and you can focus on items that you really love. I try to take the time every couple of days to purge items that I no longer love nor enjoy. I also try to organize everything so it has a proper space (a LOT of it is very unorganized) that is easy to get to and easy to put back and I try to clean my room/house. I’m definitely a stress cleaner and I love the look and smell of a clean living space. 

There is a reason that your mental health has started to suffer. This can be any memory or moment in your life. It’s important for you to find those memories, address them, and start picking them apart in a positive light so you can heal. One of the things I like to do when I’m emotionally overwhelmed by something in my life is talk to myself about it and my feelings or to write down my feelings. I just leave it on my PC or in my notebook and every once in a while I will come across it and I’ll snort at just how silly I was for being so upset about something that really wasn’t that big of a deal. You can also write letters to someone else (maybe someone you feel that has wronged you or that you have wronged to help you move on). If you don’t feel comfortable talking to yourself you can also discuss your problems with a friend or a mentor (like a therapist or counselor). However, I would tread lightly with sharing with friends, because you’ll find that many of them don’t know how to “handle” your depression or some of them will leverage that information against you. They might not understand what you’re saying and they might also give you some very unhelpful advice. I’m not saying all people are like that – there are those who are better than that and their blood runs as thick as yours, but you have to be careful. You’re already in a fragile state – don’t let someone else break you into more. 

I like to keep my mind busy. When I read or learn something new my brain comes alive. I like to study and learn new science, I really love to read but lately have not had the time (I’m trying to put all my energy towards MCAT studying but after I finish studying I do have a list of books I plan on reading), and I read a lot of fanfiction and pick apart the stories. I like to look at the different skills the author used to get their point across. The stories are usually shorter than a full length novel. And overall they’re intriguing and fun. Personally I read mostly Harry Potter fics (especially Drarry), but I have also read some really incredible stories in other fandoms such as Lord of the Rings, Teen Wolf (Sterek) Transformers, Teen Titans, BBC Sherlock, The Hobbit, etc. Let me know if you’d like me to share a few fic recs. Also manga – some of it is very beautiful and engaging. You can easily find translations online and flip through a couple of chapters to unwind while looking at the art. 

Avoid a lot of TV. I know that a lot of my recent changes and dullness has come from all the TV rotting my brain. I’m going to lump in movies, anime, and Youtube into this as well. TV now a days is complete garbage. There is such terrible acting (while I do participate in the Teen Wolf fandom, I absolutely hate the actual TV show. There are many great actors but I don’t feel like the writing of the series gives them a chance to really blossom. My favorite is Dylan O’brien as Stiles, but lately as he has picked up new projects, I’ve noticed a change in his on-screen TV performance), horrifying plots WITH SO MANY PLOT HOLES, and the writing is just bad with multiple innuendos and profanities thrown in to make it more modern and cool. I’m also tired of the love triangles (The Shannara Chronicles made me want to cry), the poor representation of people of color, lack of depth and character development, etc. TV is just complete shit. And there are WAAAAY too many seasons of shows that should have been put to rest. I’ve mostly enjoyed Shameless (lots of great plots and subplots with tons of great character development) though that has started to wane a bit as I find some of the characters’ stories dragging and How to Get Away with Murder. I’ll occasionally watch an episode of another show here or there, but honestly, it’s all garbage. Instead take that time to read or do something else. I like movies – I mostly watch Disney – but I have noticed that when I’m bored and upset I just sit there eating and rewatching old films. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, doing that every day is going to eat away at your mental health. I feel the same way I do about anime as I do about TV shows. A lot of it is empty and honestly the classics were so much better like Fruits Basket. Finally, YouTube is an amazing community. There is so much to learn and discover on this platform. I follow a lot of channels including cooking, baking, gardening, fashion, beauty, etc. I also follow a lot of fashion/beauty bloggers. Here’s my opinion – don’t do it. A lot of them treat YouTube and their blogs as businesses. They get sent a lot of stuff for free. They’re always trying new stuff. That is their job. And realistically speaking, you cannot go out every time they rave about a new product, just because they deem it to be the best thing on the planet when you’re still in the middle of finishing your current one or already have a significant collection. Don’t do it. Also, stop watching them. They's a lot of rambling and talking about nonsense for the most part. A lot of them have very empty conversations and chatter that it’s tough to follow. Makeup doesn’t even look that great on me, and I’d never drop $100 on some silly foundation - I certainly don’t need to be watching 10 different videos on how to apply eyeshadow. I understand for many people they watch or continue to watch because it’s fun and they enjoy it. And if that is you then great, go for it – in moderation of course. However, I will say, always keep it in the back of your mind that eventually this might turn into an obsession if day in and day out this is all you’re “seeing.” Youtubers can really twist your views of the real world. I for one can personally attest to that. I have a very strong and wise head on my shoulders. I can pick up discreet social cues/messages hidden in the media and scoff at them - I’m alert and observant. But when I watch Youtubers and see many of them showcasing the same things and lifestyles repetitively, I immediately begin to think this is the way it is for many if not all girls on the planet. Suddenly spending $1000 on a Chanel bag is normal – a necessity to blossom into womanhood. Don’t forget, there are people out there scraping to make ends meet. There are plenty, if not MORE, people in the world that are living comfortable lifestyles not filled with materialistic things and spending their money wisely. Just be smart and don’t let their channels twist your perception of the world. If anyone is interested I’ll be happy to share some of the blogs I follow for outfit inspirations (I mostly just glance at the pics and never am overly obsessed with getting the same things they have on – other than Extrapetitie.com because her picks are wonderful and reasonably priced). I also find less Youtube, the less shopping I do, and less of purchasing frivolous things. On the same note when you do go shopping, tune into your inner feelings and ask yourself is this something you need and then ask yourself if you really want it. Don’t settle. Pick things that you look great in and boost your self esteem. I’m overweight and I’m also short. Aside from my stomach sticking out and having thick thighs, I also have very thick upper arms. A lot of stuff that might look great on my sister and mother (who are both a lot taller and thinner), look completely terrible on me. I always give in and get them in the end because my mother emotionally blackmails me into it, but I don’t enjoy wearing them and they make me feel like shit. I’ve recently acquired a few new pieces that I think are much better suited for myself and will be wearing those from now on. If you dress well, and you feel good in what you’re wearing, and if you look good, you’ll feel good. 

Take walks – nature can unwind you. I walk a round around my neighborhood. I think all together it is roughly 1.2 miles? There is also a very small park with a swingset in the middle that I like to stop at and swing away till my heart is content. This is when I listen to the new music I’ve discovered and come up with story ideas. Try to hit the gym. Sweat out the negativity in your life and I promise you, not only will your brain feel better, but you’ll physically look and feel a lot better too. Just get out of the house. This is a bit trickier for me because of my poor driving skills and my parents don’t let me go out much. When I do go out it’s mostly for groceries. I don’t enjoy eating out that much, but going out to eat a small something at a restaurant can be a very relaxing experience. Don’t feel like you HAVE to go with someone or that you have HAVE to eat a heavy/full meal. A lot of restaurants also have great rewards programs or newsletters you can sign up for to help you save on costs if you are in a financial pinch. Olive Garden always seems to be bringing around their famous pasta deal and fast food places such as Baskin Robbins have great promotions such as on the 31st of the month, each scoop of ice cream is $1.31. It’s not a bad deal for a casual outing to treat yo self and freshen up. The general consensus is to take care of yourself and relax. Something I do on my personal time is give myself a skincare treatment at night - a lovely facial with a facial massage, masks, etc. 

I love to write but I haven’t written in forever and I don’t have a lot of unique ideas/prompts. I do have one novelesque fanfic idea that I’m really excited and crazy about. I’m slowly and diligently writing it, but I still want to keep improving my writing and brush up on my writing skills during the in between. I suggest finding a fandom that you love – and if you can’t I highly recommend the Harry Potter fandom, because it’s huge and there are so many more opportunities here than other fandoms in my personal opinion – and write prompts and challenges. There are a ton of communities dedicated to prompts, challenges, gift exchanges, fic fests, etc. If you’re interested let me know – I have a huge list of some popular Harry Potter fests and such. Also, join and follow users who are active in the fandom as they too will sometimes offer opportunities to join networks or challenges they have created. There is a user who has created a drarry valentine’s fic exchange which is so cute and I recently started nooreva’s trope bingo for femslash february.  I’ve also claimed a fic prompt from HP kink fest. They’re not too time sensitive, and there is enough direction to help me from feeling lost, but still enough room for creativity to explore my writing. Let me know if you’d like any writing advice as well. I’m thinking of trying to get back into poetry while I’m here. 

I picked up some “pen pals.” It’s very new to me and I’m incredibly nervous. Snailmail revolution is huge right now, where people all over the world send attractive letters to one another and with it small goodies such as stickers, stationary, etc. I found a few people through Tumblr and Instagram for now. I have no idea how this is going to go because I don’t have money to be buying cute stationary and gifts – I’m already going to be spending a decent bit on stamps because I have picked up A LOT of pen pals to keep me busy – but I’m trying to keep on a positive note. It’s honestly very fun to get personal mail and to peek in and see all the lovely things people might have sent. I have written one letter so far and I did a lot of doodling, homemade stickers, and printing. I’ll keep you all posted on my experience as other letters start to come in. There is also a group that is focused on craftier snailmail that I’m a member of. It’s called pretty postal swap and I LOVE it. They have a theme every month and you exchange letters with other members based on that theme. Of course the goal is to be crafty so it’s a bit of a mix of scrapbooking and cardmaking. It’s a lot of fun. Some of the pics I have seen do appear to be a bit more upscale than what I can commit to right now, but I’m hoping it will go well. This is my first month trying it and the theme is an icy cold snowy envelope, with a warm and cozy card inside. I decided to create a simple snowy backdrop on my envelope with a shadow of a row of houses. For the cozy interior I made a homemade card with a sketch of an image on the front that I colored with colored pencils, I printed out some journaling cards of polar bears and some cute sweater designs, I printed some teacups which I colored with colored pencils and made them into homemade stickers which I placed into envelopes made from this gorgeous teal birdie wrapping paper, I’m going to be throwing in a bag of berry tea, and finally, I made a simple tag of a polar bear wearing a sweater. The final result is obviously homemade and I’m not sure what the group is going to think of it, but I have my fingers crossed and I put in a lot of time and effort into my final product. I also am a huge lover of scrapbooking and cardmaking, and while I do get a hefty fix of it via my snailmail art, there are tons of swaps and swap groups you can join as well. You can swap pocket letters, tags, tag books, embellishments, etc. I applied to join one but I cannot seem to recall the name or find the original sign up page. I believe they will be emailing me to confirm if I’ve been accepted but not sure about this one yet. If you’re curious to see what snailmailrevolution is I highly suggest looking up the #snailmailrevolution on instragram. If anyone wants to check out some youtube videos on the idea and what some of the packages look like in greater depth, let me know and I can share some links.

Finally I’ve also really gotten into doodling. I’m a terrible artist – my proportions are all over the place, but I’ve found myself enjoying following along with youtube doodlers and then sitting down and coloring them in. I’ve done quite a few already for my pen pal letters and would be happy to share some of the channels I follow for help and inspiration. To help me explore this new interest, I’ve joined the #doodlewithus challenge on instagram hosted by @alexandra_plans and @christina77star. Basically every month there is a daily challenge with an overall theme of what you should try to draw that day. For February the theme is space and every day we will be drawing a specific planet, space ships, rockets, etc. it’s so lovely and takes hardly any time. I highly recommend joining in the fun.

Volunteer - give your time to someone else. Focus on becoming humble. Look at the life people are living around you and learn to appreciate what you have. I personally work at a nonprofit clinic on some Sundays where I work in patient discharge in filing and scanning in patient records into the charting software. Personally I would prefer something more rewarding, but it’s very flexible and such an easy commitment. Turn your negatives in to positives. Give daily affirmations a try. I tried it myself but it was a little awkward and uncomfortable giving myself pep talks. However it is still a very powerful tool and I would recommend it. You could also try daily thanks and make a list of what you’re thankful for which is something a little more up my alley. 

So those are some new things I’m going to be trying out. I’ll give you an update in a few weeks after getting some responses and testing things out. It seems like a lot of stuff and in hindsight it is, but I think this is a great way to fill in some of those quiet hours in between my studying. This is by no means a definitive list. There are clearly some things I need to be work on or have in my life that I haven’t addressed in my list such as actual in person human contact, but it’s just not possible for me at this time. I also know a lot of people will redirect my in getting a job, but the MCAT is a beast, and if I can have the time to study for it distraction free and comfortably, with only that exam in mind, I’ll gladly take it. Some of these things might not work for you at all, this will not CURE you by any means, but it’s a start and hopefully will give you some new ideas to try and to expand your horizon. In the future I would like to get back into watercoloring, take swimming lessons and learn to properly swim (I finished up to level 4 or 5 – I stopped just short of the actual swimming part because I had trouble keeping my form), try a pottery class (I took a one day workshop at my school and it was amazing and frustrating. I would really love to go back and learn how to throw on the wheel properly), and maybe join a bookclub.

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

6 Things People with Celiac Disease Need More Than Advice

New blog post! When you have a chronic illness, it's pretty common to get a lot of advice on how to feel better - whether you ask for it, or not. Living with celiac disease is no exception. I've been told stories about relatives with celiac disease healed through prayer. I've heard I can only thrive with celiac disease if I eat no grains, only soaked and sprouted grains or only nutritious whole foods. And when celiac left me quite underweight, even strangers gave suggestions of what I should or shouldn't eat.

Most of the time, this advice comes from a very kind and well-intentioned place. But that doesn't mean it's not frustrating - especially if the advice is not nearly as helpful as the speaker believes. That's why I thought it would be interesting to reflect on six things people with celiac disease really need waaaay more than advice! If you have celiac disease and are getting suuuuper tired of relatives' suggested "cures," I hope this post lets you feel less alone - and reminds you of people in your life who actually give you everything you need. And if you know someone with celiac disease and often find yourself giving advice...maybe this post will help you discover even better ways to help them thrive. So without further adeiu...let's dive on in! We - people with celiac disease - really need...

1. Understanding when we turn down dinner invitations or take forever to talk to the waiter about our gluten free meal.

Like I've written about before, we're not trying to be high maintenance when we take forever to talk about a restaurant's gluten free protocol or ask to speak to the manager before ordering our meal. We're also not being rude if we turn down an invitation to eat out.

Sure, I'm super grateful when friends offer to go to a restaurant with gluten free options so I can dine with them. I'm also not afraid to call ahead and ask to bring my own food to a restaurant that can't serve me safely, or eat ahead of time and just enjoy the company. However, sometimes, I just don't feel like going out to be surrounded by a bunch of food I can't eat...and it means the world to me when friends understand and just ask to hang out another time! And I've talked to many other celiacs who feel the exact same way.

2. Time to recover when we do get glutened - and forgiveness if we have to cancel plans.

I'm fortunate to say that I can't remember the last time I was majorly glutened. However, when it does happen, the side effects are anything but fun...and our recovery is a lot easier when we can cancel plans without worrying about letting people down.

(Source)

Everyone's reaction to gluten is different, and everyone will need a different amount of time to recover from being glutened. So the number-one thing you can do if a loved one with celiac disease gets glutened is ask what they need and be flexible with your plans! Sure, maybe y'all can't go on that epic 8-mile hike you planned...but that doesn't mean you can't watch Netflix together on the couch or get together for a delicious (and celiac-safe) homecooked meal. And even if we'd prefer to just sleep our way through being glutened and catch up on plans later, know that your offer to help is still majorly appreciated.

3. Greater awareness that our dietary limitations are not a fad or fodder for jokes.

I try to keep my blog and social media accounts positive and focus on the bright side of life with celiac disease (like all the ways going gluten free has made my life waaaay better). However, it's impossible to ignore the fact that we still have a loooong way to go before the average person on the street is educated and aware of celiac disease. Honestly, raising celiac awareness and connecting with people going through the same struggles and victories as me is the main reason I blog. But here's the awesome news: anyone can help raise celiac awareness in suuuuper small ways.

The next time a co-worker or a friend says gluten free options are "dumb" or "just diet food," remind them that people with celiac disease actually need to eat gluten free to survive. If you hear someone making fun of dietary restrictions or gluten free eaters, tell them their joke isn't actually that funny and move the conversation along. And if you hear someone ask what "the gluten free diet is all about anyway...", don't be afraid to give a short answer! This doesn't mean that you have to turn into a celiac superhero who advocates for the gluten free community every chance you get. But if an opportunity arises and you feel comfortable stepping in...do it. The 3+ million Americans with celiac disease will thank you!

4. More gluten free options...that are actually tasty and celiac safe!

One of my favorite parts about following gluten free bloggers like Erica from Celiac and the Beast or Taylor at Hale Life is that they always seem to have alllll the dirty details about new gluten free products. And when I first heard about Schar’s new gluten free puff pastry or Quinn Snack’s gluten free peanut butter pretzels or Canyon Bakehouse’s gluten free English muffins...I squealed, jumped up and down and immediately texted the good news to my gluten free mom.

‘Cause, yeah, I feel super fortunate with how many gluten free options there are nowadays. But there is always room for improvement. And especially as someone who was diagnosed with celiac disease as a teen, I can say that having access to gluten free alternatives to “normal” foods or old favorites makes life with celiac disease so much easier. So if you see a loved one with celiac disease fangirling over new gluten free products or a new gluten free, celiac-safe restaurant, know they're happy about more than the food. They're happy about having part of their old life back. And if you have celiac disease and feel a little silly getting teary-eyed over a delicious gluten free cookie...know that you ain't alone!

5. Less judgment and more fact-checking in many celiac support groups.

During my journey with celiac disease, there have been times when online support groups helped me learn about delicious gluten free alternatives or safe places to eat. It's also really helpful to be able to post about being glutened or having people not understand your "special diet," and have people respond, "Been there, done that! So get what you're going through!" Nowadays, though, misinformation and judgment can be about as common in online gluten free support groups as gluten in a traditional pizza parlor. Need some examples? I’ve seen people posting about all grains being “poison” to people with celiac disease or that envelopes contain gluten (this is a myth and not true). I’ve seen waaaaaay too many questions that should really be sent to a doctor, not posted for people on the internet. And many posts featuring processed gluten free foods (like corn dogs or freezer meals or cakes) have at least a few comments about how unhealthy those foods are and why people should never include them in their diet.

But here's the thing about eating a gluten free diet - or, heck, eating any diet: everyone thrives on different foods. As I've written about before, people can eat a gluten free diet in so many different ways, like by eating more plant-based foods or by eating paleo or by eating more processed foods. As long as people are eating in a way that's safe and healthy and satisfying to them (celiacs who cheat on a gluten free diet is a whoooole other topic to tackle), I say, "Good for them!" And I hope that in the future, gluten free and celiac support groups offer more encouragement and (accurate) information than judgment or criticism for not living and eating gluten free in a certain "right" way.

6. A cure...or at least improved protection against cross contamination. (And this need really is on the way to being fulfilled!)

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my boyfriend when he asked me: "If they invented some drug and you could suddenly eat gluten again...would you?" And even though that was not the first time I heard that question, I didn't have an easy answer. At this point in my life, I don't think I'd ever go back to eating gluten all the time. But one thing I really do want is protection against cross-contamination, and for my children (if I have any...and if they inherit celiac disease from me) to have fewer worries and more freedom with their food. And I know that many people in the gluten free community are equally torn but also excited at the prospect of progress in celiac disease treatments - or even a cure.

From my blog's Facebook page...

Which is why articles about therapies that could help people with celiac disease tolerate gluten again - like this one or this one - are blowin' up on my blog's Facebook page! So if you hear a loved one with celiac disease getting excited about the prospect of a vaccine, get excited with them! And until a new "cure" to celiac disease is available...help us thrive on the only "treatment" we have right now: a gluten free diet.

The Bottom Line of What People with Celiac Disease Really Need

Seeing a loved one suffer or struggle is not easy. So when you see someone with celiac disease not thriving on a gluten free diet (like I initially didn't) or struggling to deal with the social aspects of eating gluten free, it's a natural instinct to offer them advice on how to feel better or live more happily. And, yes, sometimes this advice is helpful - even life-changing! However, at least in my experience, I'm not looking for loved ones to "solve" my celiac disease. At least for now, celiac disease is a chronic, lifelong condition. And beyond that, everyone's body is different, so a diet or exercise routine or *insert any other piece of life-changing advice here* may work wonders for one person...but do nada for the next. Here's what we - people with celiac disease - really DO need from our friends and family. Things like:

Support.

Encouragement.

Flexibility.

A willingness to learn.

Understanding (or, at the very least, attempted understanding!)

Love.

And I can say from experience. Even giving us one of those things is soooooo much more powerful and helpful than hours of advice will ever be. What's one way someone has helped you thrive with celiac disease? Or what's one piece of "advice" about your health that you'd be happy to never hear again? Tell me in the comments! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2TaxpIT