#unironically this motivated me to actually start

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

sassy jealous best friend (to lover) bob???😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

This...I might write different things surrounding this concept

You dating someone else was fine. Totally fine.

Bob had mastered the art of pretending. He clapped when you said you had a date. Smiled (sort of) when you gushed about your new relationship. Made exactly one snide comment about the guy's cargo pants before coughing to cover it up.

Sassy? Sure. Petty? A little. Jealous...Bob? Never.

it was totally fine. Until it wasn’t fine. Until this new guy — Greg... Craig... fuck Bob didn't know he just knew it was something aggressively beige, reached across the table and stole Bob’s joke. You’d just made some sarcastic comment under your breath, something sharp and clever like you always did, and he had the audacity to reply with Bob's line before he could. The one Bob had been saying to you for years. His joke. Your eyes crinkled. You laughed but it wasn't your true laugh. Bob picked that up immediately.

And Bob felt it — that weird punch to the gut like something private had just been aired out in public. Afterward, he cornered you in the hallway like a man on the verge of a minor breakdown. “You can’t let him do that.” You blinked. “Do what?”

“Steal our material,” Bob snapped. “That line? That’s our bit. That was born during a Taco Bell drive-thru at 1 a.m. and you know it.” You stared at him like he was saying the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. “Are you seriously mad that my boyfriend made me laugh?”

“I’m mad he’s cosplaying as me,” Bob said, arms crossed. “And doing a shit job at it.” You raised an eyebrow. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” he said too quickly. “I’m just… possessive... of quality banter. That’s rare. We have a system. We have rhythm. You can’t just teach that to a man who unironically uses the phrase 'no cap'” You laughed despite yourself. “Bob.” His voice softened. “He doesn’t know you.” This completely took you back, you blinked up at him. “What?”

“He doesn’t know what your laugh sounds like when it’s real. He doesn’t know how you ramble about bad plots to the shows you rewatch even though you've seen the episode a million times or that you pretend not to cry at commercials, but your nose always gives you away. He doesn’t know the scar on your hand is from trying to rescue a cat that bit you immediately.” He swallowed and took a deep breath. “I know.”

Your heart flipped. You tried to keep your voice steady. “So what? You gonna say something?” Bob looked like he was about to. He stepped closer — but you could tell he had to force himself to stop. “I don’t want to make things worse,” he mumbled. “Not if you’re happy, you deserve to be happy...actually happy.”

You reached out, fingers catching his sleeve to start fidgeting with it like you do when you're nervous, Bob picked up on this quickly and moves his hand for you to fidget with his fingers instead. “I was... But now I’m thinking about how I've never had inside jokes and drive-thrus with anyone that isn't you and the fact that I still sleep in your shirt you let me 'steal'.” He blinked. Your voice dropped. “What if I was just waiting for you to say something?”

Bob looked like you’d hit him with a revelation and a sledgehammer all at once. Then he smiled. Not cocky. Not smug. Just real. “Well,” he said, stepping in, “guess it’s time I get my joke back.” And when he kissed you — soft and sure — it felt like the punchline you’d both been building toward for years. Bob felt like he was floating with you in his arms, on his lips like this for the first time, and now he will never be able to let you out of his arms.

As always if you like my work, please let me know! Reblogging, commenting, and liking are huge and easy ways to let me know you're enjoying my work, and it keeps me motivated to post way more!!! Requests are open <3

Tagging:

@msfirth

@my-name-is-baby

@metalarmsandmanbuns

@live-love-be-unique

@disillusioniary

@you-bloody-shank

@sarcazzzum

@itsjustisa

[iz-star]

Zayne: Hidden Motive - The hidden meaning behind these two images and other thoughts about this card.

Warnings: NSFW talk, personal interpretation about this card, some analysis (probably overanalyzing lol).

I've already mentioned this quickly over twitter, tho I have to admit that I hate to write down my thoughts over there cause it's already difficult for me to put my ideas in order, let alone writing them in threads (and not even in my native language, my brain can't do so much). So I'm going to try to explain this here better, especially cause I've seen a lot of people not so sure of what happened in this card, if what Zayne and MC did was straight up dry humping or if it was all just the movement of the chair without actually touching each other.

Of course, this card was wild just for the already suggestive (let alone, stimulating?) work of the camera when MC is on top of Zayne, but this game is not even rated +18 so they have to be careful about what they show. Sex isn't anything new to this game, however it all depends on the way it is portrayed and showcased. Most of the times, sex is always implied; there are spicy moments but it has never been anything overly explicit, most cases the sexy scenes are more like foreplay, what leads to actual intercourse/sex, the last part being left to the imagination. If they were going to be wild with this card, they had to be soft at portraying it, unironically. In order to do that, they had to resort to certain storytelling resources, in this case: the rocking chair, the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

The rocking chair's purpose I think it's quite obvious and it was to not to blatantly show MC and Zayne rocking against each other, it was like the perfect excuse to put them on such a situation without the characters doing it willingly, or so so cause it's already too much to know that MC is sitting on top of Zayne, however this is not new to the game, right? MC sitting on top of Zayne's lap is actually quite normal, she's done it several times; here they just had to give them an excuse to move and when Zayne pulled MC towars him, everything started. I seriously praise the masterminds behind this scene cause they literally gave us Zayne and MC starting to dry hump in front of our very eyes in a very subtle way.

Again, the camera direction is the most risky thing they had done to showcase a sexual act so far, and I'm not mentioning this to downplay any other sexy scenes from Zayne or the other LIs, it's simply bc the bouncing movement it's too explicit and induces quite strong sexual ideas related to it, to go further seemed to be impossible at this point, however it also looked like they wanted us to be sure of what was happening here somehow, that it wasn't only the rocking chair making us seeing things, so in order to confirm what our minds were thinking and it wasn't only the sound of Zayne's kisses filling the room, they resorted to metaphors: the leaf and the fabric over the couch.

Maybe this is my dirty mind speaking, but is so suggestive the way this image was showed right after Zayne asked MC "Do I look like I can work right now?" with all the movement of the camera going wild and he resuming to kiss/suck MC's neck. It literally started to rain in this very moment, and the drop running down the leaf seems to be a metaphor of MC's arousal. Yes, she was getting wet down there. For this one, I think that the reference is quite easy to understand and there's no need to explain more, except to say that I actually loved the subtle yet beautiful/elegant way to refer to her arousal.

But what about the fabric over the couch?

If the image of the leaf was a reference to MC, then this one is a reference of Zayne's own arousal. What this image has is a disheveled fabric that's hanging from the edge of the couch, so there's two things:

The couch → Zayne's thighs/legs (isn't it a common joke within the fandom that Zayne is MC's favorite chair due to all the times she sits on his lap, anyway?)

The fabric → Zayne's robe.

Did you notice that among the four LIs, it was Zayne's robe the only one with the loosest tie and both sides of his robe do not even cross? like this thing it's barely keeping together somehow.

Which is genuinely surprising coming from Zayne, the Zayne whose towel outfit has the safest tie, the Zayne whose workout outfit covers his body from head to toe, the same Zayne who has dressed five (or was it six?) layers of clothes in the past (Master of Fate), the same Zayne who is always wearing long coats and suits and literally the one who makes us feel like victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time lol.

I definitely think they did this on purpose. Give him easier access? Hell yeah. What this image is intending to say is that he was already opening his robe down there, making the contact with MC's wetness closer? Maybe that's why after this, she told him not to be too intense? Hmm...

Now, this probably is my overanalysis, it's up to you if you choose to believe this or not. For some people, media is about what is explicitly told, but narrative resources say a lot most part of the time, it helps the writers to give the readers hints about certain foreshadowing or, in this case, to reference to certain things that are impossible to address due to censorship.

Personally, I loved this card so much, but at the same time, it leaves me with a sense of dread. Did you notice how emotional, bittersweet or even sad/nostalgic was Zayne's bgm during his kindle? I saw some people uploaded the recording of his kindle without the bgm just to appreciate the naughty sounds (no blame here cause I did too ngl ahaha), but it made me want to listen to the music alone and good lord, the music made me so emotional. After watching the kindle with the music on again, I realized of how emotional this moment becomes when the bgm is playing. It gives vibes of something so intense yet so fragile. Go listen and appreciate it alone, you'll see what I'm talking about:

I noticed that they used two new songs for these cards, one was this one and the other was used in Rafayel's kindle, for Xavier and Sylus' kindles, they used bgm that was previously used in other memories. It's also interesting that the art direction of Zayne and Rafayel's kindles has a bit of a somber mood to them, like even their scenarios make sure to use cold colors and emotional backgrounds, while Xavier and Sylus' use more warm and romantic colors, (tho at least Xaviers bgm music was also intense even if the song is not new).

I feel like the bgm wanted to give a sensual yet emotional feeling to most scenes (except Sylus' since this one was the most chill, which is normal considering that he's new), however, we can't deny that Zayne's song feels like something is about to break somehow, idk how to explain. Someone in the comments section of the video said that it was angsty and beautiful just like Zayne is...

I've been feeling like Zayne's latest cards have been really emotional an intense. In Snowy Serenity is Zayne the one who is in danger, in Hidden Motive, it's MC the one in danger and both cards showcase how far are they willing to get in order to secure each other's safety (and also how much they lie to each other about their own safety lol).

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne and MC get emotionally closer, in Hidden Motive they get physically closer and yet both cards have a bit of both themes too, emotional and physical intimacy on another level.

In Snowy Serenity, Zayne knew that he might not be back so he asked MC to see him off the airport and gave her a hug, even if he never said goodbye, and in Hidden Motive, he tells her that she's not allowed to leave him without saying goodbye. Then he tells her he'll like her as long as she's alive and well. We also have the Adventure above the clouds chapters where they talk about ther lifes in 50 years in the future and how they'll be together still relying on each other. In Dawnbreaker's anecdotes, MC gets to celebrate Zayne's birthday with him and tells him that from now on, she'll always celebrate his birthday with him.

It feels like they're starting to look into the future a little too much, like making promises too soon, it feels too perfect... as if something bad is about to happen and rob us from that bright future, you know?

Do you know who made promises before a tragedy?

I've been thinking about this since I finished Hidden Motive cause... my first thought was... Now what can top this? A lot of us got really surprised by Zayne's card cause the spice was unexpected and I think it's needless to say this, but even the kindle felt a bit different from what we are used to see normally, even some ppl said the kindle was a bit longer than normal. Why would they feed us so much good/emotional/intense content of Zayne lately? And how are they going to keep it up? My brain tells me that something sexual being released too soon after this might feel repetitive so in order to create a bigger impact after this they'll resort to angst. I don't think they'll make Zayne's bday event sad, however, they also announced that more main story branches are going to be added from September to December and Zayne's probably gonna be the first to return, since he was the first one to disappear from the main story.

I just can't help thinking about this, I have this bad feeling that I hope is just my stupid brain overthinking and that we will have happy sweet memories with Zayne from now on even tho the story seems to keep hinting that something bad is going to happen, ugh.

Anyway, sorry for my rant, I actually have a lot of thoughts about this card that I don't know if I'll get to write cause I've been really busy with work lately, however I wanted to at least get this out of my chest.

[chigsprincess]

The sound of your heart

a/n: hii, everyone! this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i finally finished it. i promise to get back to writing requests soon, but finals week was exhausting, to say the least, and i need to find my motivation to do anything lol.

when you write a love song dedicated to them -h.chigiri, m.kaiser, y.isagi, m.bachira

Chigiri Hyoma

The song is a lot more intimate and heartfelt than your usual music, but your fans are obsessed with it.

You captured his essence so well that you couldn’t even deny it was about him. Not that you wanted to.

He acts like a diva on the field, so the fans love that you pointed out his more tender side. Now everyone knows he blushes when you call him cute nicknames.

It became a ritual for him to listen to it before every game. It’s his new religion.

He definitely teared up when he first heard it but made you promise you wouldn’t tell anyone.

Even the people praying for your relationship’s downfall admitted defeat after hearing it. They just accepted that you are taken for life.

His teammates have called him ‘lover boy’ ever since. At least they finally switched up from ‘princess’.

Kaiser Michael

It’s not the first song you wrote about him, but it’s definitely the most impactful one.

It’s sweet, it’s adorable and it’s the complete opposite of his vibe on the field and during interviews.

All the fans who thought you were too good for him shut up really quickly after listening to it.

The internet is buzzing with comments like: ‘If I was her ex I’d never recover.’

He actually flashes a genuine smile when he gets asked about it in interviews. He is obsessed with the song and even more obsessed with you.

He doesn’t understand how can you love him so much. It’s actually beyond his comprehension, but he tries his best to live up to your feelings.

He also listens to it before every match. And when he wakes up, and when he eats lunch and when he has an ounce of free time on his hands, so basically all the time.

He vowed to himself that no matter what happens, he wouldn’t mess this up. He won’t lose you.

Isagi Yoichi

You described him like a literal piece of art in the song, like the most valuable thing you ever had and he is bawling when he first hears it.

This man is absolutely clueless about how attractive he actually is, so you definitely surprised him with some of your lyrics.

It’s a warm and emotional song that focuses on the small moments of life and highlights how grateful you are to have him.

It’s definitely the love song of the decade, everyone and their mother heard it at least once.

His fans became obsessed with you. It’s not like they had anything against you before, but after this, you basically became the soccer significant other.

His teammates are done with him, he literally never shuts up about you or the song. They can just simply ask him about his day and he still finds a way to bring it into discussion. They are all just jealous anyway.

Bachira Meguru

The song is upbeat and bouncy just like him, but it’s also very sweet.

When he first heard it he was driving and had to pull over to the side of the road to start an insta live to bawl to his fans about how beautiful it is.

Genuinely so grateful for you. You are all he ever wanted and more. He feels so special after hearing it.

“‘You kissed me mid-sentence ‘cause you ‘just couldn’t wait.’ Is so real! I always -insert small kisses- do that!”

Wears your merch unironically. Proud supporter of you and your work.

Still tears up whenever he hears it on the radio.

He holds up cardboard signs at your concerts that say things like “MARRY ME (jk unless???)”

Fans call you the chaos duo, but you two stole the title of power couple of the century.

word count: 645

[trianglesimpfordpines]

you see the thing about ford is that he doesn't necessarily believe he is better than everyone. he believes he has to be better than everyone. and the fact that he holds himself to such a ridiculously high standard is arrogant in the sense that obviously he wouldn't be holding himself to a higher standard if he didn't see himself as more capable, but it gets realized more often as self-loathing than self-aggrandizing.

notice how when ford pushes people away, his reasoning is almost always doubt that they genuinely want him around. he starts with "there's no way this person is actually just being nice and enjoying my company, they must want something, they must have ulterior motives," and then moves on to "they'll just drag me down anyway, i don't need them, i don't need anyone."

and how he makes excuses to spend time with his family. the cycloptopus. fixing the light. the apprenticeship. bill's funeral. clearing up the aftermath of weirdmageddon. if ford isolates himself because he thinks other people aren't worth his time, why does his behavior suggest it's the other way around? shouldn't he be prancing around like the other pineses should be grateful for his presence? why would someone who isolates himself out of a (real) belief in his own superiority feel the need to overcompensate like that?

it's like that post where it's like....he would fucking say that but he would say it as part of a façade that he obviously doesn't actually believe and you guys are interpreting it way too unironic and genuine. ford thinks the only options are that he's isolated either because he's above society Or he's isolated because he's unworthy to be included in society so of course he'd rather tell himself it's the first one.

[jasper-book-stash]

May 2025 Reading Wrap-Up

I spent most of this month chipping through one book between various problems going on. And then several books through various, worse problems going on.

1/10 - Why Did They Publish This?

None applicable.

2/10 - Trash

None applicable.

3/10 - Meh

None applicable.

4 to 6/10 - Mid-Tier

Joy At Work: Organizing Your Professional Life | Marie Kondo, Scott Sonenshein

So, this book sucked and didn't suck to a far lesser extent than it sucked.

For the most part, in the Marie Kondo portions (except when talking about specific other people) Marie will use a lot of "we/us" and "me/I", while Scott will use a lot of "you" (direct you, not general you) and "he/she" in the narration instead.

Another thing that got me about this book is that it's...privileged, I guess is the word. The example people and the authors are all well-off enough that they can just quit their jobs and work solely because they want to work in whatever field, rather than having to keep an eye out for making sure they can cover all of their bills.

It also has a pretty heavy focus early on about making more money for the company being a motivator for tidying up around your work space, which also puts me off.

Most of this book was the Scott asshole. Ultimately, I think it comes down to this: The ex-Silicon Valley tech bro who's now a professor should not have been involved in the writing of this book. He was grindset-focused rather than paying attention to Marie Kondo's own lessons in the book.

Overall, 4 out of 10. There are some helpful things in here, but it's not worth it overall. Read Marie Kondo's other books on tidying instead.

7 to 8/10 - Good With Caveats

The Dharma Of Star Wars | Matthew Bortolin

So firstly I want to say that this book is actually meant for fans of Star Wars who are interested in a Buddhist analysis of episodes one through six, and that it was published in 2005 (well before most modern Star Wars stuff, obviously). My passing knowledge of Star Wars via the LEGO adaptation of it and pop culture understanding via Tumblr memes and shitposts managed to get me through it, but this was still a hefty little book that I struggled to get through. Regardless, I have come away from it with a better understanding of Buddhism, so...I guess I win anyways. Ultimately I would rank this as a 7 out of 10.

Devout: An Anthology Of Angels | Freydis Moon, Dorian Yosef Weber, Angela Sun, Ian Haramaki, Tyler Battaglia, Daniel Marie James, Morgan Dante, Cas Trudeau, Aurelio Loren, Rae Novotny, Rafael Nicolas, Emily Hoffman, Quinton Li

DISCLAIMER: Watch this video about Freydis Moon, consider it required watching because of all of the brownfacing.

If you like angels in a really horny way and don't mind a lot of heavy themes, this is the anthology for you. Each work has its associated content warnings at the top of the chapter so you can skip ones that don't interest you. It's mostly stories, but there are also poems and a few pieces of art. Overall, I give this an 8 out of 10.

9/10 - Very Very Good

Destroy All Humans. They Can’t Be Regenerated, volume 3 | Katsura Ise, Takuma Yokata

Yes, I'm continuing this series, and yes, I still love it. Honestly I'm living for the drama.

A Sign Of Affection, volume 1 | Suu Morishita

This is a series that I started because I saw it recommended in a BookTube "what I read this month/quarter/year" whatever video and it seemed interesting. Deaf characters aren't something I often see portrayed in manga, and the narrative respected the female main character and didn't shortcut past any of the realistic problems she would have.

10/10 - Unironically Recommend To Everyone

None applicable.

[andrevasims]

I can't be convinced to switch OSes from Windows - NOT because I don't think it's a good idea, but because you severely underestimate my ability to drag my feet on doing things I don't feel like putting in the effort to do lol

I didn't switch to Windows 10 from 7 until May 2023, and that was only because Steam was going to completely stop functioning on 7

yes I know I'm vulnerable to viruses and my computer is going to explode, but my internet connection is wired ethernet and I'm the only person using it, so I'm only a danger to myself, nobody else. and if my computer bricks from a virus then that is genuinely the larger motivating factor for me to update my OS than actually doing the "right" thing beforehand lol

unironically I have had to start from scratch due to a bricked computer twice in my life already. not from a virus though just from shitty hard drives :P (not laptops either, desktop PCs that my dad helped me build)

[azurefaire]

it came to me whilst i was overthinking:

as nicky little's alleged biggest fan and ex chronic migraine haver during my formative years i should put it out there nicky's equivalent of ziterella would be migraine aurora. (migraine aura + aurora from sleeping beauty) ziterella is afraid of her self image over a small blemish and runs away from herself (note: that doesn't read well but my point is she thinks she's cinderella but really isn't) migrane aurora was both blessed and cursed from birth and has her own needs dismissed often. migraines are one of the most overlooked chronic pain conditions. i'm making this the title of my unironic nicky focused pepper ann lost episode creepypasta now or a title to be used in a nicky series... if i actually write it.

i feel like if i had more time, motivation etc i would actually DO it but i would want to go full out on this lost episode/story. like the way this story looks and would be presented i have an idea all in my head and that gives me motivation to maybe actually be an artist/creative one day. we all have to start somewhere. many of these lost episode stories can be sort of... repetitive anyway. and making a short horror story or series based in lived experiences and character driven stuff would be interesting. even if a "migraines creepypasta fic" sounds really weird or really bad. but like imagine giving a cartoon character a migraine aura paralleling it with the other concept of an aura- like a psychic/magic aura, is interesting to me. and the idea lf those concepts being combined together is interesting to me. and why make nicky little have weird auras for a surreal only half satire pepper ann story? cause that's what i want to do...

but i feel like in full sincerity one day in the distant future i could make something that sounds really weird and just make it work and make it compelling i just need a couple years. if i actually post this idea as a story like as soon as possible it wouldn't be anywhere with what i want it to be. i sort of want to grow as an artist as well

[g0lightly]

*me tuning into HOTD back in 2023 bc of that negroni spagliatto vid*: "god imagine caring enough about this show to have a favorite dragon" *me in my notes unironically in 2024*: see above

based dreamfyre's only bodycount is from trying to escape the dragonpit (the only one to break free from her chains thats my bbygirl 🙂‍↕️) which 1) was self-defense 2) in freeing herself to break the dragonpit dome dreamfyre also effectively sacrificed herself to do more for the in-universe equivalent of nuclear disarmament than... anyone else?!

it's simply impossible for me not to stan dreamfyre and her dragonriders! rhaena rode her around the realm to bond with her girlfriends and to search for her missing daughter! probably the only time helaena ever felt remotely free in her life was on dreamfyre! the fact that the dragon that arguably embodies some of the most important themes of the series (other than balerion though i feel this also enhances her as a foil to him) is basically absent from the show is a damned tragedy in my opinion.

theory under the cut, TW discussion of a character's suicide.

i have a theory that helaena's suicide -- described as mysterious by the maesters -- may have had more to it. it's easy and frankly, reasonable to understand it in the text as a tragic and all too common example of the way women's mental health has been historically neglected. however, as we're seeing in the HOTD adaptation, halaena is a dragon dreamer. GRRM has even said that show helaena is "a richer and more fascinating character than the one I created in FIRE & BLOOD," specifically citing her gift of prophecy as a major component of that compliment. as he explains in the post, helaena in the books is has few personality traits and her close bond with dreamfyre is one of them.

what if helaena lived a second life in dreamfyre after her death? even in the book where she is not intended to be a dragon dreamer, her motivation to do this could be to regain the freedom she enjoyed while riding dreamfyre or to simply use her power to end the violence. or perhaps it just happened because their bond was so strong. in the show, i wonder if helaena will do this because she sees in a dragon dream that it is the only way to end the most brutal ravages of the war? especially given the way that helaena spoke of the way lowborn women must lose their children more often than highborn women, i imagine that the grief of the mothers around helaena is weighing on her in addition to her own grief.

what if helaena intentionally sacrificed herself and dreamfyre to prevent more death? in the text, i think it's significant that dreamfyre was noted to be blinded in one eye before she broke the dome. this mirrors the loss of aemond targaryen's eye, arguably the event that set the war into motion. thematically, dreamfyre's sacrifice in death seems to represent the end of the cycle started by this eye for an eye mentality that led to so much death and destruction.

if you'd like some extra tin foil hat with your theory, i also wonder if dreamfyre actually didn't get crushed and managed to escape but the maesters said she died with the other dragons when the dome fell because it would look really bad if she didn't. she's one of many dragons whose remains are unconfirmed however she is the only dragon that broke free from her chains in the dragonpit.

even if dreamfyre did physically die, did she psychically die? she previously lived at harrenhal with rhaena targaryen; could dreamfyre be the dragon that alys rivers was reported to hold at harrenhal? rhaena appears to have been the first to be called a "witch queen" at harrenhal; could this have been her plan for dreamfyre all along, a plan dreamfyre understood due to the depth of their bond? i love helaena and rhaena the fuck DOWN on their own so obviously this idea of them having a psychic suffering witch queen bond through the ages via dreamfyre makes me rhaegar levels of emo tbh

[the-way-astray]

hate your lover, love your hater, and be studied by her friend: pt.4

For almost two weeks, no word came from Keefe.

On one hand, Stria was understandably relieved. For the first night in the last few days, she went to sleep without Keefe on her mind, and thus found herself more relaxed. In all good conscience she couldn't forget about his existence, since it was so very...worldview-breaking, but given that he wasn't pestering her anymore, she could certainly ignore it. As days went by without his messages, Stria started to hope. Maybe he's cut off contact for good and I can move on with my life in peace, she dared think. Maybe I'll even be able to read cawtulk again without fixating on the fact that they're real. She'd never be able to fully ignore it, of course—no one would. But maybe she'd be able to set it aside.

Of course, such an optimistic situation could hardly last. One fine evening, when the groupchat she'd made all those days ago on a whim had been buried under an onslaught of more recent texts, only some of which were Katie being concerned about Keefe's well-being, her phone pinged. Stria reached for it absently, opened the message, and then registered the sender: Keefe.

A direct message, too.

I've been thinking about it, he texted. A long gap followed.

Sadly, Stria replied, you haven't yet come to the conclusion that I don't want to be bothered and thus you shouldn't bother me. One can only dream that you'll get there one day.

But I NEED your advice! She could practically hear the whine, but truth be told, Stria had almost got used to it. It was unpleasant, yes, but the same sort of unpleasant as the noise of rattling pipes you eventually learned to fall asleep to when living in hastily rented lodgings. There were always worse problems, like musty curtains or light fixtures that mostly didn't work. I'm worried about Sophie.

Of course you are, Stria replied dryly, though she did feel a modicum of sympathy given that she quite liked Sophie during her good moments, and that she was real. No doubt you've gone and been nosy about it?

A moment passed. Then: I haven't, actually.

Stria actually gasped out loud.

So you're telling me you didn't actually go and pester her or try and take a reading of her or something like that?!!!! That was...progress! Astonishing progress, in fact. It was possible, of course, that Keefe was lying. But what motivation would he have? She knew he wouldn't seriously fall in love with her: Sophie was still alive, and so long as that was true, he would be devoted to her, and she would be safe.

Which meant that he most likely wasn't lying. Keefe character development! Actual! Development!!!! she thought. I never thought I'd see the day.

She looked back at her screen. I haven't taken a reading, no, he replied. The typing bubble flickered for a long few seconds, then disappeared again. I just...I noticed that I do this thing where I shove myself in with her where I'm not wanted.

It was no news to her. Stria stared at the screen impassively.

It was because of your rant, actually. There it was! Stria smirked in vindication. These bits, when we were going to Alluveterre:

“‘They’ll have to keep their faces very close together,’ Mr. Forkle noted. ‘Foster and I volunteer!’ Keefe shouted.” (59) Volunteering someone for a very uncomfortable experience without their permission, ah yes, my favorite. And yes, Dex does it too, and so do Fitz and Mr. Forkle. I’m not exempting any of them from the blame. I’m just saying that this was something Keefe unironically said (and he said it first, too). [neverseen] “He leaped from his pleisosaur to hers and prodded Sophie’s eckodon to swim away from the rest of the group.” (63) Shannon forgot to add “without Sophie’s permission and without giving any thought to breached personal boundaries” to the end of that sentence. Seriously, he just leaped onto Sophie’s eckodon with no sign she wanted him to, just because . . . he wanted to? Sophie’s wishes? Never heard of them. [neverseen]

And I've been doing that recently too—you must have read it or whatever. On the island?

Of course—while Stria hadn't got to Stellarlune in the second part (or indeed to Unlocked, in which Keefe had grated on her even more terribly than he usually did), she could guess what he meant. Sophie had picked Marella, Maruca, and Fitz to come with her to Stellarlune, and found Keefe coming with her too. Without her having either chosen him, or included him in the deal with Vespera.

I've read it, she replied, begrudgingly appreciating the fact that he'd realized it on his own. What about it?

Well, it's been a while since that, and she still seems tense, he texted. We barely got away, and now...things have changed.

Stria wanted desperately to ask for spoilers, but she didn't. It wouldn't feel right without Shannon's writing style as an intermediary. And you haven't pried into her secrets, whatever they are?

No, he replied, but I want to ask. Carefully. Without probing or prying, just to see if she's alright. Because Sophie...she doesn't share, because she doesn't want us to take the burden.

That was in fact an interesting, well-considered point. Now look, began Stria, I'm not your couples counselor or something like that, nor do I care exceptionally about your love life. You should take this to Katie if you want sympathy. But if you're really so desperate for my two cents, tell her she can tell you but don't force her to. Given how much you usually force her, the gesture will probably mean a lot more than you think.

A beat of silence. And then: Thanks, Stria. I'll talk to Katie about it too. You've helped a lot, really.

The earnestness, the serious talking, was so un-Keefe that Stria almost started to wonder if his phone had been hacked into. Until: Bye, Hater-Girl.

There it was. Still the same Keefe. Just...emotionally maturing? Perhaps? With the evidence taken into consideration she could dare to hope somewhat.

Stria sighed, texted him a gruff 'good, now don't bother me', and went off to bed.

When she woke the next morning, it was to several enthusiastic messages from Katie, most with the word 'Keefe' in them.

She smiled, and started to read.

*

Part 4 is here! Just wanted to let everyone know that this fic will remain SPOILER-FREE FOR UNRAVELED for the most part, and anything spoilery will either be unintentional or a very mild hint/reference. Please don't try to go look for them if you haven't read it yet and don't want spoilers. Note also that I may or may not start hinting at my self-indulgent Book 10 predictions in this fic eventually :)

As for the reference to the end chapters of Stellarlune, I did not have access to a copy at the time of writing, and Keefe sort of shoving his way onto the Sophie-Marella-Fitz-Maruca team is only something I remember vaguely from having noted it in a fic I wrote about Vespera a year and a bit ago. If it isn't accurate, please do not come for my blood, and I would have loved to check it if I were able to.

Hope you enjoyed this, and part 5 will be written when this one's out, as usual!

—@worldsunlikemyown/meta anon (feels wrong to send this off-anon)

PS: The word count is now just above 5k, rant included. Do with that what you will.

parts one, two, and three as always

two weeks without keefe . . . too good to be true . . .

literally the second i start daring to hope that keefe will never reach out to me again, he does . . . lmfao

NOT YOU USING CAWTULK . . . LMFAOOOO that’s how i pronounce kotlc out loud, but i do think of the series as kotlc like in my head

“such an optimistic situation could hardly last” LMFAOOOO

does keefe never dm katie? i feel like he would do that

”one can only dream that you’ll get there someday” CRACKING UP HELLO????

KEEFE DIDN’T TRY TO PRESSURE SOPHIE INTO SPILLING???? WHAT IS THIS PARALLEL UNIVERSE . . . (to be fair, he lost the ability to take a reading of her emotions in stellarlune/unraveled . . . although he’ll probably get it back in book ten lol)

NOT ME RATIONALIZING WHY KEEFE WON’T FALL FOR ME . . . do strieefe shippers harassing me on tumblr exist in this universe? because without them my mind would not even go there lmfao

this might be because you have a weird obsession with sophie, keefe, and think you therefore have a right to know everything about her. this may come from your lack of true trust in sophie and how you feel like you have to fix everything for her as if she’s not capable of doing it herself . . . ranting again sorry

”it was no news to her” yeah, keefe, way to read between the lines and see the obvious (finally!!!!). do you want a cookie

STELLARLUNE’S CLIMAX TAKES PLCE ON AN ISLAND???? i thought it was just a place between five rivers . . . huh

don’t talk to me about unlocked keefe. he for real can’t even go a single paragraph without being an annoyance and a bother and a generally morally shitty guy

weirdest part about that was keefe literally jumping out of the bushes. i’m pretty sure those are the exact words: “keefe jumped out of the bushes”. in the stellarlune scene . . . he for real just ambushed her if i remember correctly

OOH THINGS HAVE CHANGED, HAVE THEY

”stria wanted desperately to ask for spoilers, but she didn't. it wouldn't feel right without shannon's writing style as an intermediary” literally me trying to dodge unraveled spoilers BEFORE THE BOOK EVEN FUCKING OFFICIALLY CAME OUT

an interesting well-considered point from keefe????? insane . . .

honestly, the way shannon writes sophie is a pretty important contributor to her letting keefe off the hook for his shittiness. sophie’s just always okay with whatever keefe does and it’s generally presented as a good thing for him to be so nosy and insistent. you can tell sophie finds it endearing, and no, i don’t think shannon meant for sophie to come off as an unreliable narrator when it comes to her general opinion of keefe. so. i’m not sure if sophie will even realize that now keefe isn’t pressuring her anymore, so i don’t know how much it will mean to her. but we shall see

you should write a katie pov section in the next chapter . . . lowkey it would be so funny

god i hate keefe’s sense of humor so bad . . . even if he emotionally matures, he sure will never mature with regards to humor

OH SO KEEFE DID DM KATIE? THAT’S WHY SHE MESSAGED ME ABOUT HIM AT THE END?

RAHHHH I WANT TO SEE THE BOOK TEN PREDICTIONS GIVE ME ALL THE BOOK TEN PREDICTIONS

yeah i think keefe shoving his way into the team at the end of stellarlune is a lot milder of an offense than you make it out to be here (i wouldn't really say he pressured sophie into letting him come, so much as he did just show a distinct lack of trust in her decision-making abilities, because my goodness, why does he have to be part of everything), but it is true that this guy basically demanded sophie take him along when he was not originally supposed to be part of the plan (which again just shows a distinct lack of trust in sophie's leadership and planning skills)

five thousand is insane . . .

[chronosaurvs]

anyway. achtung, season 3 spoilers

imo it's been pretty clear that hdh didn't wanna continue the story past s1 but did it for the moolah anyway. but like. I don't even wanna know what was going through his mind while writing s3. something something but he unironically vomited all over it the same way d&d did with game of thrones s8 (except i could at the very least understand what was up with the latter because they've run out of source material years before the finale and wanted out as soon as possible)

and boy does it get 2 me. i actually had low expectations for s2 before i watched it because you know how it be when the show goes on after the story's supposed to end (see: the cw supernatural s1-5 vs the rest) but s2 was actually good, could stand on its own, and in some aspects worked even better than s1. and given that s2 and s3 are part of the same story? jfc. this shit had been written in one go.

s3 takes everything that made s1/2 work and just. drops it for the sake of subverting expectations, i guess? (and a possible american spinoff which is just nightmare fuel. at this point just watch mr beast or something)

having all even remotely interesting characters either killed off in s2 or in ep2 was certainly a decision considering that what made s1 work was in large part the characters/the dynamics between them.

ali's death worked because he was genuinely about the most sympathetic guy around and him being a good, trusting person was what led to him dying. saebyeok's death worked because after all that time you spent seeing her open up about her past and motives and survive by being clever and almost make it you had to see her go down in a stupid, yet realistic accident (not to mention that her actual death served as a catalyst for the climax, to the subject of which i'll get later). the twist with ilnam worked because he was at an obvious disadvantage and you felt bad for him all over the way, not to mention his fake-death revealing a lot about gihun as a character in - and when you thought he was gone, turned out he was behind it the entire time. jiyeong's death worked because as you'd learned about her throughout the one (1) episode she was properly in you felt terrible about her and seeing her die in such a way after enduring so much in her life was just. depressing. secondary antagonists like deoksu/minyeo were genuinely entertaining to watch and the way they died felt very fitting and in character for both of them. and don't even get me started on sangwoo. the entire reason why the final game hit as hard as it did was because you'd seen the guy succumb to his character flaws firsthand, you've seen the good and the bad of him and to see him do the things he did hit. he was all in all an amazing foil to gihun and his dynamic with gihun was what made it sting.

s3 tries to do the same with its characters but the attempt is so half-hearted it's plain painful 2 watch. arguably the only deaths that somewhat worked were hyunju's and yongsik's. hyunju is very much like ali in a sense that she's one of the very few good people around and you actually think she has a chance, you root for her only for her to die in a very realistic and unfair fashion - backstabbed after coming back for the people she cares about. yongsik and geumja worked as characters in a sense that you knew that eventually something bad would happen to either of them and the other one would not be able to go on, and seeing geumja kill her own son to stop him from murdering a woman that just gave birth after he refused to kill her instead was heartbreaking, especially given how she'd died (which hit way harder than some random player's suicide in s1 because you'd actually known her - they were both very well executed despair event horizons). that's... it?

minsu is there, obviously mentally unfit for the games, shown to be very timid, gets bullied and witnesses someone he cared about getting murdered and then he uh... he um... he starts killing because he decided to take drugs to cope... and then he dies because he's now in withdrawal and hallucinating...? which the viewer is supposed to care about because...? yeah. because drugs.

junhee and myunggi are just. man.

from my point of view junhee was supposed to be an attempt at ilnam 2.0, someone clearly physically unfit for the games and you'd felt even worse for her because that's a pregnant woman just trying to survive. her purpose as a character was similar to ilnam's (the twist aside) - how she's clearly at a huge disadvantage and yet there's nothing anyone can do about it because the system is fucked and there's no way out for her. sure. i'll accept that. her death was sad, i guess.

but the entire subplot about her and myunggi was pure badly written torture to sit through and i'll die on that hill because like. ooh he's an asshole ex boyfriend but he also still #cares for her but he'll be a huge indecisive bitch about it and then she will die, not before giving birth to a horrible cgi baby tho. and he will not give two shits about her or the horrible cgi baby except for the times when he does. and the viewer is supposed to care because. reasons.

minggyu's/their character arc is just a mess and i. don't get why he's there at all. he doesn't care about his ex except for when he does and he doesn't care about his child except for when he does (and i get that it's there to show how complicated reality can be but jesus fucking christ. they're not main characters hence their dynamic doesn't get developed enough so it's just watching 2 random people in a relationship (?)/lack thereof do things that are in no way relevant). and he's also not particularly greedy and wants out but then he gets greedy because. reasons. and then he's ready to kill his own child just to save his ass/because he's greedy but there's little to no foreshadowing for that. it only happens when it's convenient for the plot. he'll be relatively normal and only kill in self-defense the entire time except for when he has to start killing people to get more money in the end because hyunju has to die somehow. he'll be relatively normal and levelheaded after that and try to reason with his ex/save his child until she dies, after which he uh... he um... she was his primary motivation for getting out but he still wants out in the end, suggesting he's fine with the amount of money he'll get and he's even willing to risk getting on the majority's bad side just to get out of there with his child. he doesn't want it to die and looks for any sort of way to get the last game over with as quickly and mercifully as possible until he starts killing people for money again, because all of a sudden he wants more money. after which he is, all of a sudden, ready to kill his own child JUST to get more money. but then he's not and just wants out again. and then he dies. and for some reason that's supposed to compare to sangwoo's arc and the final fight between gihun and sangwoo (main characters with a history that goes way back, one of whom was very clearly shown to slowly progress to be more and more ruthless as desperation grew).

and don't even get me started on the horrible cgi baby.

the main hook of s2 - what made it work - was the dynamic between gihun and inho, which was honestly a very logical and clever way to continue the story post-s1. it made sense for gihun to become rougher around the edges after what he'd been through. it made sense for him to seek revenge and try to stop the very thing that had destroyed his life, the lives of people closest to him (sangwoo, his mother), etc. and it made sense for inho to try to teach him a lesson after the way he'd done, since his entire existence is defying everything the games/inho stand for. it made sense for their dynamic to be as complicated as it was in s2 given that inho is more of a morally grey character who sees himself in gihun and is torn between remaining in control after everything he'd been through himself and sympathizing with gihun/other players. it made for a gorgeous narrative that worked exactly the way it was supposed to and naturally you'd think season 3 would... focus on that? explore the series' morally grey antagonist's complicated feelings on the matter, explore gihun's character - since he'd already became rougher around the edges and given that point inho's been trying to hammer home is that it's not worth it to have faith in people, it would've made sense to explore whether gihun would remain firm in his beliefs after everything he'd been through (including the second time a best friend of his had died, something he couldn't prevent neither the first time nor the second - and in both cases could blame himself for) or break, becoming more like sangwoo, whose descent he spent half of season 1 not understanding. there's a lot to work with both options, both of them deliver powerful messages about society™ and the pressure it puts on people.

not to mention gihun had a very interesting character progression. he had his moments that made it clear even people like him could do horrible things when push comes to shove, even if he tried to resist them (almost tricking ilnam to survive, almost killing sangwoo - twice - to get revenge). he'd been on the edge of it and every time tried his best to resist it.

s3 - after s2's despair event horizon of a cliffhanger - starts off strong in that regard. unlike many ppl i found him being completely destroyed and then doubling down on his desire for revenge interesting and i thought that moral conflict would finally have time to shine. and then there was the entire thing with daeho (who, by the way, was... uh... another victim of subverting expectations i guess. i was one of the ppl expecting him to be a fraud the same way inho and ilnam were but no, he was not a total fraud, he was just lying... because... because he was lying to get close to gihun's team. not because it was the only way to get close to them considering they were helping an old lady and a pregnant woman around, not because he'd been secretly evil, he was lying because. well. he was just lying. he was risking his life in s2 just to get shellshocked in the end not because he was an evil fraud, but because he was a coward, but then his cowardice did not prevent him from joining them in the first place. in fact, he was not shellshocked, he was just scared, and he was not particularly scared before getting not-shellshocked because reasons. yeah. makes sense). despite whatever the writing did to daeho i actually thought gihun's desire for revenge originally aimed at the people running the games in the first place spilling over and driving him to seek revenge against someone who's technically just another victim of circumstances was a good idea if they wanted to go the second route with the games finally turning him into a person he did not want to be was a clever writing decision.

and then the horrible cgi baby happens and now everything he does is for the horrible cgi baby. it will be his entire personality for the rest of the story. he doesn't want to kill anyone after hunting someone down and strangling him to death. when suggests gihun kills everyone while they're vulnerable (the same way he did in his games, which i thought was a nice touch to the entire gihun - sangwoo - inho fuckery going on given that that's very similar to what sangwoo did) to save both himself and the cgi baby gihun doesn't, even if those people have proven themselves to be irredeemable as they are quite literally willing to murder a newborn for money. he won't kill them because he's not that kind of person (despite killing daeho, which. btw. the saebyeok flashback just confirmed nobody responsible for the script gave a fuck anymore. because drawing a direct parallel between gihun who'd never killed before deciding against killing his childhood best friend just because he's killed someone because he's "not that kind of person" and gihun, who has blood on his hands after seeking out and strangling someone basically for the halibut, deciding against killing a bunch of cartoonishly evil people that want him and the cgi baby dead. it's a writing decision for sure). but when the final game starts he has no issue killing people anymore and kills like half of them anyway. and then dies to prove a point except he doesn't care about anything he spent the last few years obsessively trying to achieve anymore, ie getting revenge. because cgi baby. this is a good character arc.

inho gets like two proper scenes and then he's uh. he's um. he's there. will we get a proper anything from him? no. he's just there. he's not against making the baby a player which is what enables people to want to kill it in the first place (considering his entire backstory consists of him losing his wife and an unborn child which made him clearly sympathize with junhee to begin with) but he wants to save the baby too. will we get a proper resolution in his dynamic with his brother, which was a very important subplot in s1 and was sth s2 and 3 spent 12 episodes leading up to? no. they'll see each other and that's it. he spent years trying to save junho from dying and then he ordered him killed anyway. and then he didn't want him dead. he uh. he um. he gave him the horrible cgi baby.

which, about junho. all those filler episodes of him looking for the island again will amount to nothing because why should they amount to anything, i guess. s2/3 tries to replace him as someone in the game pov with 011, which... she's there? she's just there. she almost dies saving a guy who has no properly developed personality nor backstory except for his sick daughter who is sick because she'd seen him and his sick daughter once, because they both have daughters. she spends 2 seasons being rivals with the games' second-in-command who allows her to do basically whatever because she too has lost someone or whatever (which is the only explanation we'll get for it) just to almost kill herself when she saves the guy whose entire personality is having a sick daughter when she remembers her daughter is dead but then doesn't because horrible cgi baby survives and then her dead daughter is not dead anymore, she's just in china (i'm like. 99% sure someone responsible for the season liked the suspect 2013 too much and hoped no one would notice). that's it.

and then they topped all of that off by making one of the most important parts of s1/s2 - ie games having rules - null. sangwoo manages to get the games called off once by bringing up the fine print clause about players having the right to vote to call them off if the majority agrees, it's then elevated to be the entire basis of season 2, but in s3 rules do not matter and do not exist. all the players sign up to be in the games and explicitly consent to them, which is then used against them? well. the cgi baby will be a player because a vip suggested that as a joke. even if it cannot consent to anything because it's a horrible cgi baby therefore cannot be a player because that defeats the entire point of "y'all consented to the games". the last supper before the final game is hinted to only exist to give the players an opportunity to grab something sharp and kill others before the final game starts? well, now there's a rule prohibiting physical violence between the remaining 9 players (even if it was not enforced when s1 had only 3 finalists, making someone killing them all and spoiling the last game a more valid concern). it only exists for half an hour because after that gihun will be encouraged to kill everyone in their sleep to win. it will never be addressed anymore because who cares tbh.

and don't forget, there'll be an american spinoff. cate blanchett is there. this is a good finale.

[sh5]

but like. completely unironically? I spent a lot of time thinking about transmasc marie today, in between tasks and such. like, in the drive to campus, I turned down my music so I could think clearly about like…what are her “motivations” in being transmasc? (HEAR ME OUT.)

something I don’t think is talked abt in transmasc communities is like…we often have an intimate knowledge of the pitfalls of masculinity, the step UP we are taking in society, and a lot of us are even engaged with waves of feminism that view the entirety of male social interaction as constructed and flawed. I also, personally, do not believe that I was “born trans”, or even that some determinism or religious figure bestowed it upon me, completely separate from my own free will. no one forced me to transition. so, I sort of disagree with the notion that transmasculinity is a completely unconscious and “motivated” entirely by some sort of inner self or destiny to be trans. so that obviously influences my transmasc readings

back to brba: marie, surrounded by toxic masculinity and actively complaining about even the benign “manly” habits Hank has, seems like a REALLY weird headcanon for being transmasc. which was…the initial joke. but I began thinking on it more, and I started asking questions like: Could Hank’s death actually inspire some sort of admiration for the toxic masculinity that caused his death? Even just a fondness for dumb bro-y shit? How would it change her relationship with Skylar? I’ve had cis women mad at me that I essentially broke the “girl’s code”; that has to be a million times worse if you have a sister. Skylar, especially, has absolutely no positive associations with masculinity. Would Skylar go through that weird period of mourning? How would other family members feel? etc etc etc

[castlebyersafterdark]

for me it’s because so much of mike’s arc and character development is tied to will. as in, i’m not saying “mike isn’t his own person without will” but, so much of his character development in the show is so intrinsically linked to will, that i have a hard time understanding “how does mike end up here without him having feelings for will?” i have a harder time wrapping my brain around mike without will, than i do with will without mike.

now i also have trouble reading will x other characters. but that’s more because i’m scarred by the era of (are they still doing this?) people only shipping will with other male characters to “free up” mike, so they could have mileven. so (at one point at least) most of the will x other character fics were either “will gets over his feelings and he’s happy, no need for mike to reject him! and mileven live happily ever after!” or “mike rejects will, but that’s okay, because will finds another guy!” or especially if it was will POV, some of them felt like they were written by people thinking “will doesn’t deserve mike, will is so much better than mike, he’s gonna get a better boyfriend cause mike sucks.” and yet even in those scenarios it still always ended with mileven 😭😭😭 i unironically think i’d have an easier time with a “mike sucks, will deserves better” fic if mike was still gay, didn’t end up with eleven, and he just sucked. but again so much of will’s character development revolved around his love for mike, romantic or platonic. so even in that hypothetical fic, i still can’t imagine will hating mike

that’s also why i’m obsessed with byclair in theory, but i can’t bring myself to actually read it on ao3. i’m looking at byclair on ao3 and my head starts overheating like an old computer with too many tabs open, fan spinning full speed, my thoughts slow down like if mike’s in it… why no gay??? why no crush on will??? if mike… where’s will??? if mike’s not in it… gay… gay mike? will byers gay??? mike and will?? mike gay??? homosexual???? gay??? please???

i wish i had the strength to be a multishipper but unfortunately i just can’t do it

Agree with the Mike characterization thing - and it's also not that I don't see him as his own man, his own character!! But so much of him is so very tied up in Will. It kind of defines him in the show. Will being his entire motivation we are introduced to right from the beginning. And not that Will isn't entwined with Mike - he totally is, but I think because of the possession and disappearance and the way he's been portrayed, you can make the argument that you can explore elements of Will's character independent of another character. Tough to explain. But I get it.

I think my thing if I do indulge and read Will x Other - the Mike factor has to be either completely ignored or there's a reason that takes him away from the plot. Because I do not like the fic in-universe excuse then to put him with a women/El. No. Doesn't work. Maybe Mike's family moved away. Maybe it's in some span of time before Will officially gets with Mike. Maybe they parted ways for some reason - idk. Mike's still gotta be a possibility based on sexuality for me, he can't be shoved to the side, straight or ending up with El. No. Ew. Hahahaha.

Like in my SteveWill ideas from that post. The one where they meet up in another town years later - Mike isn't a factor in it at all, he probably moved away in high school. The one where Steve and Will drive around Hawkins and hook up - the implication here is that it's during the time jump era or around that time and the understanding is that it's temporary. Will is going to eventually end up with Mike, Steve is a distraction. Steve teaching Will to kiss idea? Again, Steve is a distraction. And then all the HenWiII stuff? That's more a spicy salacious angsty character exploration and even if there's dark stuff and the element of sex - the implication is that eventually that ends and Will ends up with Mike. Or I don't address Mike at all, again, it'll just be an indulgence.

Byler is that pairing for me!! I'm too attached. Have my fun though. I just have to make sure that Mike is handled if I'm indulging anything. Even in my fave fic - the SteveWill with the pool and swimsuits and hooking up in the summer - the implication is one of horny convenience, whilst both parties are holding out for others. Will is still in love with Mike, he just wants to temporarily indulge and get off. I like that dynamic. It's all very fun!! Yes! I do indulge. But Byler has really really really sharp claws in my heart and it's difficult to truly diverge.

Not truly a multishipper. But I like a little variety, a little extracurricular indulgence.

[aliteralsemicolon]

I have more than 3 questions if you are comfortable answering them. I really love your writing style so I would be really greatful if you share your secrets ❤️

What is your writing process like?

How long does one story take to write?

How do you come up with your ideas?

Do you ever run out of ideas?

What is your thought process when writing Spencer? I feel like you capture his energy so well.

Who do you imagine as Reader? I feel like I relate a lot to the Reader in we can't be friends story.

Do you ever get anxious when posting a story?

Sorry if these are too many questions. It may sound strange but I am really fond of how you write and I am an aspiring writer myself, I would appreciate your advice. I am unsure of how to describe, but it feels like you put a lot of love in your characters interacting with each other, if that makes sense? You capture the 'feeling' of love really well. Also English is not my first language I apologise for any mistakes 😅

oh so I can't even begin to describe how incredibly sweet this ask is and how it's left me speechless. truly I was taken aback because I literally never though I'd ever get asked something this touching, and I'm so flattered that you took the time to ask this. also don't worry about your english, you're basically better than I am tbh 😭 anyways essay incoming

my writing process is actually pretty simple. once I have an idea I write it down in my brainstorm doc for later. when I'm ready to write it I make a new doc for that specific fic. then I make a list writing how the story is going to unfold (what the plot will be or what's gonna happen in a scene etc). basically I write anything and everything that comes to mind (scene, dialog, quote, etc). even if it's messy bc I can always sort it out later. once I have that initial planning done I kinda just start writing according to the list. I write as much or as little as my brain feels like, then circle back when more motivation strikes. I also don't always stick 100% to the original list/script because things change and I get new ideas that work better for the story as I write. eventually it all just comes together. once it's done, it's beta read either by me or a kind friend and I just post it with my normal layout.

the amount of time it takes to write a fic depends on a couple of factors. obviously, the length of the actual fic is a big one. I never really know how long or how short a fic is going to be, I kinda just keep writing until I'm happy with how it's unfolded. often times my fics end up being way longer than intended because I'm really bad at writing short form content. also, I can lose interest in a fic pretty fast if I don't emotionally vibe with it. so there's no set answer, it really just depends on circumstance. I've learned to just stop trying to force my pace and let everything flow in its own time.

MUSIC!!! I lovvveeee music (from a listening stand point, I could not produce any part of it to save my life). anything and everything I do creatively sparks from music and how that music associates with an emotion/memory/desire. like for example: we can't be friends. I love that song. I associate the song with feelings of extreme heartbreak masked by delusion. the lyrics are touchy, but the song is upbeat. yet the beat is missing something to me. like it's hollow and what ever it's missing is just within my grasp but I can't reach it (does this even make sense?) and that's how part 1 of wcbf formed. Or malicious compliance is inspired by (TMI!!!) TiO by Zayn because I associate it with a specific memory and so that fic happened. imagining (delusion) is also just one of my strong suits.

no, I've yet to run out of ideas, luckily. I just know that when it does happen it's going to hit me in the fucking ass at my lowest.

absolutely no thought process 💙 I just write him how I want to perceive him and it seems to work out in my favour. Spencer unironically is my type to a fucking T and I know what I want in a partner. what I want magically compliments what Spencer's personality already is. then again, parts of his personality also depend on what season Spencer I'm imagining.

obviously, there are certain aspects of Reader that are parts of me. that can't be helped, as a writer you always project bits and pieces of yourself in there. but Reader is also just as much mixed as whatever type of personality works best to the story, but never in an extreme way. Reader is open to your personal interpretation, there is no one person I imagine to be Reader.

yes ALL THE FUCKING TIME because what if you guys don't fuck with todays tom foolery? what then? thanks for reading my stuff guys <3

and good luck reading this monstrosity. as always ignore all my grammatical errors because I do not proofread my rambles 🙏

also thank you again, anon for your sweet message. I hope I was able to give the answers you were looking for. best of luck for your writing journey :D

[confessanronpa]

Gonna preface by saying that Nekomaru is not in my top sdr2 characters, however he is the one that has been unintentionally making my life better? Like I'll be too tired to cook and then he'll be in my brain whispering "eat well, shit well" and I'll begrudgingly get up and make something simple. I've started stretching more regularly and it's starting to bleed into my roommate's routines too. We have morning stretching and breakfasts before work now. Unironically, Nekomaru is making me healthier

-🦷anon, who will probably be back with other sfw tidbits and is very excited to see the development of this blog :>

waittt that actually happened to me too for a while

too tired? nekomaru. he is the bestest motivator, no wonder hes the ultimate team manager :3

[wellcheerz]

i saw your tag on the Dantes confession i submitted and YEP I WAS ABSOLUTELY THINKING ABOUT YOU! i'm saying this with the upmost respect, that truly was Iconic of you to do, i had been wanting to do something similar for the longest time but i just.. never did? seeing another person adore him to the point of buying themselves engagement rings was inspirational to me, and i mean that unironically.

so yeah, thanks for the motivation! this might be me overstepping, you have every right to tell me to fuck off, but if you don't mind could you post a pic of the ring you bought? i'm mainly asking out of pure curiosity, i have no intention to copy you or do anything disrespectful like that.

thank you so much for this. Ask on because as much as I am jealous person about him, I’ve literally could not be upset with you this is the cutest thing I’ve ever read.

I work with young people so a lot of the time I find myself preaching things like self-love and acceptance. when I started college, I kind of went through a phase where I took the ring off and decided that I was going to be “normal” until I realized that in my field, doing something as simple as shamelessly wearing a ring for your favourite fictional character can be super super powerful and show others that it’s OK to behave in ways that other don’t.

I went through two rings with Edo, but they share a few key components that I think are important in defining my relationship with him. They’re always silver in colour, but actually made of stainless steel. Stainless steel doesn’t tarnish and I think that’s sort of a symbol of even after the better part of a decade I still feel the same way about him. both of the rings are fidget rings, the type that spins when you flick them, mostly because I’m autistic but also because both he and the fidget or things that calm me down when I’m feeling upset. The current ring has arguably my favourite symbol of our relationship, the sun and moon. I’ve always thought that Edmond would call me something like “sunshine” despite the type of person that I am not being very sunshiny at all. (i am smiling to big and cheesy at you when i say this) It also reminds me that even if he’s in a different world than I am, I can look up and see the same sky that he would be seeing. (weird thought, but comfortable)

I’ll see if I can figure out how to attach a picture but honestly, I’m terrible at Tumblr. Please feel free to reach out off anon if you ever want to have a chat about him! thanks for the ask.

[imunbreakabledude]

tierlist for my own fic titles

as i was musing in tags on my last post it made me wanna do this just for fun. including EVERY fic i have posted to ao3 (and maybe some that I've taken down? lol) ... tier list for purely how I feel about the TITLES, not the actual stories.

S Tier - Kickass titles, snappy + meaningful

Thirst (Villaneve)

Stakes (Villaneve) (part 2 of Thirst - and fun fact, when I came up with the idea of calling a second installment 'Stakes' was when i truly committed to making it a series. the power of titlejoy!)

Show, Don't Tell (maevelena)

Means, Motive, Opportunity & Malum In Se (Villaneve HP AU murder mystery. First one is still unironically one of the best things I've written, story structure-wise, and it is kind of a bummer that it's an HP AU. Second one I had grand ambitions for AND a good title but it bothers me to this day that I didn't finish it due to my love for KE dying out.)

A Tier - Very good, flow nicely, relevant meaning

Savior Complex (Maevelena)

Higher Powers (Maeveannie)

WWMD (maevelena, maeveannie, elenannie... maevelenannie??)

Ghostwritten (Maeveannie)

Gag With It (Villaneve)

From Russia, With Love (Villaneve)

Out of Order (Villaneve)

The Heat of the Moment (Villaneve)

There's Got to Be a Reason (Gemillaneve)

#Queenlight (Maeveannie)

She Seduced Me (Killing Eve - Anna/Oksana backstory fic. sometimes i forget I wrote this one! but I'm honestly very proud of it)

Imagine Me & You (And Our Parents)* (Villaneve) (This one comes with an asterisk because I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS TITLE! it's an excellent title, but I borrowed it from a joke post by another person in the fandom.)

B Tier - They don't scratch my brain good, but they don't irritate me either.

After (Pattison)

Rescue Mission (Maeveannie)

The Math of Love Triangles (Killing Eve - the origin of Gemillaneve!!!)

The Club (Villaneve)

Anytime, Anyplace (Killing eve, Kenny/Hugo fixit fic! fun fact - my least popular KE fic!)

Second Opinion (Villaneve)

Eternity (Villaneve - Thirstverse - undeniably the weakest of the series, title-wise)

Healthy Competition (Rebecca/Nathaniel, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

Marking Time (Villaneve)

What We Deserve (Villaneve)

Never Let Go (Villaneve)

Experimenting With Success (Maeve/Butcher)

Baby Blue (Maeve & Homelander)

C Tier - I'm unhappy with these titles but can live with them.

Good to be Bad (Eleanor/Bad Janet, the Good place. fun fact: this was the first smut fic I ever wrote!)

Freakiest Friday (Gemillaneve)

Conscience (my first ever Queen Maeve fic!)

In Her Skin (Eve/Gemma)

Eye of the Storm (Maevelena)

Control (Villaneve - Thirstverse)

Uninvited (Villaneve)

Two in a Million (Villaneve)

You'd Be So Nice to Come Home to (Villaneve) (this one and the one above technically bug me because they are valid CHAPTER TITLES but not good FIC TITLES - because they are both bonus chapters for IMAY(AOP).)

After (revisited) (Pattison - i mean i literally wrote this in like 30 minutes when i was in my feelings about the kcfh finale so it's no shocker it doesn't have its own title)

The Many Deaths of Margaret Shaw (those who follow me may notice i almost always abbreviate or call it 'maevefic' 'longfic' 'my spinoff fic' - it's not for brevity, it's because i hate this fucking title but I couldn't come up with a better one despite having awesome ideas for the fic and I needed to start posting it so...!)

When God Made Eve (villaneve)

F Tier - what was I thinking? did I even try?

It's So Easy to Leave Me (Maevelena - it's a line from 'Memory' from Cats but it's a niche reference and doesn't flow too well; in my head I call this fic "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Maeve" and probably SHOULD have made that the actual title, even though it's goofy it flows better AND is more indicative of what the story entails.)

The Shocks that Flesh is Heir To (Maeveannie spookyfic, very cool fic I'm proud of but yeah the random Hamlet quote was... not my best choice. it was my compromise when I decided calling it "To be or not to be" was way fucking stupider)

Aiutami (my first ever Villaneve fic, I was still figuring it out - and boy is that title weak by every metric)